#anyway 1 2 5 17 and 20 are all options for me depending on several factors

[i-wear-the-cheese]

this is a hilarious range of specificity to have missed nighties out entirely

im usually #4 

[rjjameshiii]

RJ's Platinum Collection #53: Stray Gods

Achieved on 3/9/2024 at 1:01 PM

I remember seeing the announcement trailer for this game back in 2022, and I was intrigued by the concept. I love musicals, I love Greek mythology, and I love roleplaying games. Combining all three into one game? Sounds like a good time. So when I noticed it on the PS Store, I decided to buy it and see what this roleplaying musical game had in store for me.

Stray Gods puts you in the shoes of Grace, voiced by the ever amazing Laura Bailey, a young woman who finds her life flipped into chaos when another young woman bursts into her apartment and dies in her arms, but not before sending a glowing light into Grace's chest. Grace discovers that the woman was Calliope, the last of the Muses, and Grace has been transformed into a Muse herself, giving her the power to make other people burst into song. When the other Greek gods, all living in the same city in America after being chased out of Greece by the Nazis (yes this is a real plot point), accuse her of murdering Calliope, Grace is forced to solve the mystery of the Muse's death in order to save her own life from execution.

The main core of the gameplay is that you control Grace as she goes from location to location and speaks to other Greek gods to try and figure things out. At certain points, Grace's power will cause musical numbers, and the choices you make will actually affect the songs, and therefore the plot. It's a lot of fun!

Anyway, on to the Platinum! I decided to start my journey by playing the game blind. At the start of the game, you are given the choice to give Grace one of three primary character traits: Charming, which is represented by the color Green; Kick-Ass, which is represented by the color Red; and Clever, which is represented by the color Blue. Depending on which trait you chose, certain dialogue choices will be locked, but I did not know this at the time. I ended up choosing to be Charming, and played through the entire game until I reached the end of the story. You also have four romance options in the game, and I ended up choosing Freddie, Grace's longtime best friend.

1/38: End of the Road - Inherit the legacy of the Last Muse.

2/38: Not A Lost Girl - Stick with Freddie instead of going with Pan.

3/38: Queen WIthout A Throne - Choose to stay with Persephone instead of going with Apollo.

4/38: The Deep End - Finish Act One.

5/38: All The Help You Need - Broke the cycle of rebirth and convince Aphrodite to live.

6/38: Meant To Be - Help Asterion successfully woo Hecate.

7/38: Like Heroes Before You - Channel your inner Perseus and defeat Medusa.

8/38: Not Taking Any Chances - Rat Medusa out to Athena.

9/38: Across The Styx - Finish Act Two.

10/38: Abdication - Destroy the throne of Hades.

11/38: The Ultimate Sacrifice - Sacrifice your immortality to save Freddie.

12/38: The High Road - Forgive Athena.

13/38: The Muse's Encore - Finish Act Three.

14/38: Brave On Time - Returned Freddie's feelings.

15/38: Charismatic - Finish the game with Charming traits.

16/38: Against All Odds - You survived against all odds.

Ooh boy, that was quite the ride!

For my second playthrough, I decided to pick the Kick-Ass trait at the beginning, which made Grace much more aggressive and confrontational throughout the game. It was a lot of fun. I also decided to romance Apollo this time, and I made several decisions that I had not made the first time around for more trophies.

17/38: My Time To Shine - Choose neither Freddie or Pan.

18/38: God Of The Sun - Go with Apollo instead of staying with Persephone.

19/38: Heartbreaker - Flirt with all love interests in a single playthrough.

20/38: This Hell IS Mine - Take the throne of Hades for yourself.

21/38: Saying Goodbye - Let Freddie go.

22/38: Talk To The Hand - Punch Athena.

23/38: The Answer Is You - Found love with Apollo.

24/38: Fiery - Finish the game with Kick-Ass traits.

After that playthrough, I realized that I could actually get a few more trophies by jumping back into it at a certain point, instead of doing a third entire playthrough. So that is what I did! First, I started from a specific chapter and rejected Apollo, then romanced Persephone instead, getting two other trophies along the way as well.

25/38: The Queen of the Dead - Persephone reclaimed the throne of Hades.

26/38: Brand New Chorus - Convince Athena to step down.

27/38: Together, Victorious - Melted Persephone's icy heart.

Then I jumped back into the playthrough at a certain point and rejected Persephone, which allowed me to get the special ending song that you can only get if Grace doesn't fall in love with anyone.

28/38: Everything Has Changed - Finish the game without ending up with any of the love interests.

Now it was time for a full third playthrough of the game. This time, I chose Clever as Grace's primary trait, and romanced Pan, the final of my four love interests. I cleaned up the remaining story decision related trophies I had not gotten yet as well. With the reprise of Pan's love song before the credits, I had also gotten the trophy for listening to every song in the game.

29/38: The Choice Is Yours - Decide to trust Pan instead of Freddie.

30/38: Arrow of Eros Undone - Hecate rejected Asterion.

31/38: Lost In A Song - You honoured Aphrodite's decision and let her find peace.

32/38: Snake Charmer - Offer a helping hand to Medusa.

33/38: The King Of Hell - Allow Orpheus to keep the throne.

34/38: Share This Dance - Fell in love with Pan.

35/38: Cunning - Finish the game with Clever traits.

36/38: Virtuoso - Listen to every song.

However, just listening to all the songs isn't enough. I needed to hear each variation of each song as well. By the time I had finished all three playthroughs, I had heard pretty much every variation of every song - except for "The Funeral". This is a song taking place in Act Two in which Grace is tasked with convincing Aphrodite to not unalive herself (it's complicated). The issue with The Funeral is that there are seven variations of the song, and I had no idea which ones I still needed. So what I ended up doing was following a guide and just replaying the song over and over, making different choices, until the trophy popped, at which point the Platinum popped as well!

37/38: Maestro - Listen to every variation of every song.

38/38: Platinum - Unlock every trophy.

I loved this game a lot. The voice acting was awesome (even if some of them were better singers than others), and I loved the music and story of the game. I'm always a sucker for games where I can make decisions that change the plot, and this was a good example of it. I'm definitely planning on playing this again, and tackling the Orpheus DLC that just came out too!

Rating: 10/10

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 12/?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best friend’s name)

God idk what i’m doing with this but i’m liking it lmao

next one might honestly be smut idk

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Description of Blood, Gets heated, hints at trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N walked through the streets of Gotham, which were once bustling with people, but now were quiet with the occasional hooker, she had caught the city as an unlively hour, where it seemed to sleep the night away while the vigilantes of the area watched it like their lives depended on it. In some ways it did, the stories they would tell when being interviewed were horrific sometimes, but Y/N figured a decent amount of it was for dramatization, to keep the people of Gotham off of the streets to protect them all from it.

The question was always protect them from what, and they never answered. So, it never kept the people of Gotham at bay from the streets at night, and had Y/N’s car not been towed, she would have been driving home in the safe, secluded area of her car, not the vast wilderness of the streets of Gotham.

She looked up at the sky to see one of the virgate boys using a grappling hook to fly to the other building, which was such a sight to behold for someone who never witnessed a superhero beyond Superman at home. She wished and longed to know more about the vigilante, but didn’t dwell or dote on that man, because she didn’t need to.

Something told her that he was watching though, tracing every step she made to make sure she got home in one piece. She thought she was crazy, her life didnt matter more than anyone else in Gotham. He’s not following me, why would he? she thought, Even though I’m dating Jason Todd, they probably don’t know Jason, so my life doesn’t mean much more to them than any one of the hookers along this street. I’m overthinking it.

The walk home took two hours, she left Jason’s at 4am just to find herself back home at 6am, bright and early as the sun rose, ready to greet the day and all it had in store for everyone. But the things it had in store for Y/N was a class and if she was lucky, cuddling with Jason. Nothing more, nothing less.

She would open her front door, unscathed from the journey home, except maybe for a few callouses on her feet, it was the last time she wouldn't pay for more than a day of parking, that’s for sure. Heels were not the shoes you wanted for a two-hour walk home in the Autumn cold, but they were what she had.

She thought about what she was going to do next, and the first thought she had was to shower. Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to nurse the terrible headache she had and to think some things through. What she normally did in the shower.

She wanted so much more from so much of her life. the main offender of seemingly not being enough for her was Jason. Not because she didn’t want more, but because she craved more from him. He was injured, so she wouldn’t get much more rom him for the time being, and it stung a little for her. She just wanted him, maybe sexually, maybe in a more romantic setting or maybe just on her couch on a Thursday afternoon. It was all three of those options and she knew it.

She pulled out of the shower and looked at the time, 6:50am. Okay, she thought, little more time than I wanted to spend in the shower, but I guess the universe had different plans for me today. What else do you have for me, universe? And how much of you plan involves Jason?

She would open her phone after quickly getting dressed. While she still cared for her appearance, she didn’t want to dress like she owned a law firm every day, so she didn’t. Just black jeans and a black top and she felt like a million bucks. 

Just some quick outfit inspo. I like doing these a lot. I think fashion is funky :))

Artemis had sent her a message asking where she was at around 4am, she wondered why the time, but she then remembered that Artemis’ boyfriend worked with Dick Grayson, who was Jason’s brother, who worked most nights until radical hours of the night. The chances that he saw her on her two-hour walk home was high, but the chances that that had also made it back to Jason was higher. She knew she was in for it.

Hey sorry, I was at Jason’s. Fell asleep in his arms the whole shebang. And yeah, that was me who screamed the yo momma joke at the press. It was super childish, I know, but I don’t care. Those fucks are sucking my life force out of me and harassing my boyfriend, even your boyfriend.

She would then look at the articles calling her a gold digger and worth-nothing childish insulter of the press. She laughed. If the press wanted a fight from her, she was more than willing to oblige and load the canons. 

She didn’t know how to fight back that well, since it was a mainly verbal fight, and she barely even knew how to  fight physically, hence all the running and non-confrontational arguments she had had to the press.

And like fucking clockwork, Jason texted her.

Did you walk home alone or are my brothers lying bastards?

I walked. I knew someone saw me, fuck.

Why did you walk home? I thought you drove here?

I did, but we spent more than 12 hours together Jason. I didn’t buy enough hours, suddenly my car was being towed.

You could have asked for a ride home from Alfred! He would have in a heartbeat.

I was going to! But  I got distracted and it all became a blur and suddenly I was part of the way home in the dark by myself!

What if you had gotten hurt?

Well, I saw one of the vigilantes of the city on the rooftops, I’m sure if I screamed they would have seen me. They always do see that stuff.

So, your car got towed huh?

Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay it off. It’s not exactly like money my parents give me should go to my car getting towed because I got fucked over by seeing my boyfriend. 

You’ll figure it out. Sorry about the car, that’s got to suck fucking ass.

You think? I’m stuck taking the fuckin’ subway till I get my car back. I hate the subway, too many people. Far too many people. Too many eyes. It gets stressful really quickly. Might just walk every where honestly, I can’t deal with the eyes of strangers.

But you’re a C-list celebrity.

Internet is different. I can just block the bad eyes and move on with my life, you should see my block list now that some people are connecting my name to the girl who flipped off the press, thank god Twitter has a fuckin block feature.

You should really just meet my family so you don’t have to run away before they get home, would probably cause you a lot less financial stress, Y/N.

I’ll think about it.

You should think a little harder about it. I don’t want you to get your car impounded ‘cause you’re seeing me, why did you even park in pay-to-park?

Did you not see the massive mob trying to get to you? It was impossible for me to even try to pull into the driveway. Hence why I’m being insulted, you know, ‘cause I yelled at the press to get them to leave me alone. I fucking hate the press, you’re stabbed, severely injured last time they got information, and they’re harassing me, asking me what I like to do on the weekends.

Fucking vultures. Yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve read the articles. But that’s the press for you, absolute trash and spitting bullshit in everyway.

Fucking hate the press, that’s for damn sure. Despise them. I won’t ever change that, even if, knock on wood, we break up.

Praying we don’t break up so I can see you lose your shit at the press when you’re bored.

She would get up to go make some coffee, since it was closer to 7:20am and if her roommate woke up, she could just tell her to get up anyway.

The press can suck my dick. she said.

You have a dick?

Oh yeah. Massive. 20ft long. It probably won’t even fit all the vultures.

Oh my god, that’s not as big as mine.

lmfao is it now?

Oh yeah.

Nice.

Anyway, my brothers are staying home from school today,  I think they’re making me play Resident Evil 8 with them? You know that game?

Of course. Everyone in that game is infinitely hot.

Are you bi? 

I don’t know. Haven't thought that far ahead to actually label myself. I just like people. Sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s women. But you have to agree when you see them all. That game came out when I was still in  high school, so I’ve played the entire thing. My phone background is actually one of the characters.

Which one?

I’ll show you if I come over tonight.

My brothers might be in my room, though.

Okay, but, RE8 is an amazing game. So, worth it.

You won’t meet them normally but I pull out a game you love and you’re down?

I’m very easy to convince.

You still have notes to write when you come over though.

Oh yeah, I was probably going to have to come over both ways, just because I need those notes and you do too.

Do you not own a printer?

I barely even own a laptop, I’m waiting for my old one to come in the mail. 

How do you even manage?

With a whole lot of will and spite, anything is possible.

And that’s when her discord group chat @’ed her. She was on Do Not Disturb because she was Jason, and apparently they missed her.

Y/N! C’mere. One said.

Yes? Whatduhya want nerds?

We’ve decided to hold a fake internet wedding between you and Christopher. Another said.

A what.

We’re getting married!

Sometimes I wish I never left Metropolis and then I remember you fucks live there. Why are we doing this? You do know I have a boyfriend right? She asked them.

I don’t know, we’re bored and we miss you. We can have a bachelorette party in Gotham, if you want.

I’m this close to going back on DND.

The group chat was made way back when they had all first met in grade 9 and had been active ever since. They all had stayed in the city when they graduated though, but since Y/N received a scholarship, fully paid for, she took the opportunity and jumped.

They were some of her closest friends, even if they lived in a different city to her now, even if they were all busy with school, even if she was busy with school and a boyfriend, A lot of her life wouldn’t be complete without her crack friends in her hometown.

They had all ben partying like crazy while she was gone, and if she wasn’t so hung up in her own life, she’d probably be down there with them. 

Before you do, can you please explain why you’re screaming at the press, lmao.

Because fuck the press, dude. Why else? 

What did they do to you?

Have you seen the recent articles?

That’s true.

She laughed and finished her coffee. Jason had not responded yet, she assumed his brothers were either checking on him or they had started the game. It was around 8am when A/N finally left her room.

“I thought you were staying with Jason?”

“I was, but then I remembered he has like 9 siblings and I’m not about to meet them all. Then I walked home.”

“You walked?”

“Car got towed.”

“Fuck, can you afford the bill? I can’t.”

“Nope.”

“Guess we’re going to take the subway for a while, huh.”

She sighed and put her cup in the sink, “At least you don’t have school to go to and your lover comes to meet you, I have shit to do and places to be,” she frowned, “Inconvenient.”

“Could you borrow money from Jason’s dad?”

“I don’t borrow money from family, it’s hard enough for me to accept the money my parents send me.”

“I know it is, when’s your class?”

“3pm, I’ll be leaving at 12pm though, because the subway is unreliable.”

“This is going to be a hard hit for us.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s fucking your credit. Mine’s tanking.”

“You’ll pull through it.”

-------------------------------------------

She got onto the subway at 12:30pm. She really hated the way it was running. The people, the faces, the staring eyes of unwanted attention. People knew who she was and she hated it. She didn’t like the attention, she just liked the fucking with people. She wanted to get off the subway the minute she got on.

She eventually couldn’t take it and got off a few stops away, there was still a substantial walk towards the college, but she knew it would be. She even brought a leather jacket with her so that she could walk if she couldn’t take it anymore.

And there she was, in the busy streets of Gotham, walking to her college. Barely aware of the people who did stare at her, because she just kept walking, lost in her thought but aware of the people in her trail, the cross walks and the lights she was waiting for occasionally. She just kept walking until Artemis met up with her,

“Hey! I didn’t know you were walking to school today,” Artemis said.

“Oh! I didn’t want to, my car got towed though.”

“Your car got towed? That sucks so much. Well, we’re going the same way, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk with you, you get no say.”

“Of course. I was going to ask if you wanted to,” she laughed, “It’s more fun with a friend anyway, Art.”

“So, how are things with you and Jason, I’m legally obliged to ask as one of his friends.”

“Well, we made it official if that’s the kind of thing you want to hear,” she laughed again, “I’m sure it’s the answer Dick will eat up.”

“You’re right about that one. Dick’s a sucker for a romantic story, you should write one, since you write. He’d probably read it all.”

“Well, that would be fun, but I still don’t have my laptop.”

“You could use Jason’s?” Artemis suggested..

“Nah. It’ll be fine,” she said, “I’ll manage.”

“Aren’t you collecting notes for him for your psychology class?”

“I am, it’s not like he can go anywhere. I actually told him he’d need to walk eventually so that it’s not a learning curve when he’s healed.”

“That’s what all of us are telling him too, he’s a stubborn man, good luck with that one,” Artemis laughed, “He’s always been the stubborn friend. Worse than Will, actually, and Will is really bad with being stubborn.”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “If you asked any of my Metropolis friends they’d say the same about me.”

“I bet you were quite the wild child in your heyday back in your city,” Artemis laughed, “I hate Metropolis.”

“Who doesn’t? It’s so crowded.”

“Uh, Clark doesn’t. He thrives there, no idea why, he grew up in Smallville. If anyone should be uncomfortable with Metropolis it should be the small-city country boy, but I guess it’s his thing.”

“I forget you know everyone.”

“We know a lot of people, are you’re slowly being let into our massive circle of very well-known people. Welcome to the group, I guess,” she laughed, “You'll either hate or love the fame that comes from this.”

“Well, if its paparazzi and press, I think I’ll hate it.”

“I can promise you right now that it’s not all paparazzi and press, we haven’t been bothered today, probably because we are on the move.”

“You shouldn’t say that, you’ll jinx it.”

“I know a lot about not jinxing it, but that’s a story for another time,” Y/N noticed that when Artemis said this her eyes glazed over and she looked upset.

“You don’t ever have to talk to me about something you’re not ready to talk about,” Y/N reassured her.

“Hey, the trauma makes me funny.”

“Two can play that game.”

They would ramble on for the rest of the walk to their college. Nothing really of substance, just getting to know each other further. She was glad she found a friend in Artemis, it would have sucked if the two of them didn’t get along, but with each word they exchanged, they had so much fun.

She even told Artemis about that time she played Katherine Howard in her school’s budget play of Six - The Musical. She was proud of the riffs she was able to do, but she didn’t talk about it often. She was never the type of brag about her achievements, no matter how amazing they were.

But Artemis and Y/N parted ways and Y/N went to her class and wrote the same, boring, scribbly and barely legible notes. She figured eventually she’d need nicer handwriting, but did she want to work on it? No.

When she finished, she saw Artemis and who she could only assume to be Wally, at Artemis’ class doors. She waved to Artemis, before Artemis called her over.

“Y/N! Hey, I would ask how class is, but this is Wally,” she gestured to the red-head boy beside her, and Y/N held out her hand to shake Wally’s.

“Hi, Wally.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you since Jason can’t shut up about you and my girlfriend likes you a lot.”

“Well that's sweet of you Artemis. You’re just so in love with me,” Y/N joked.

“Girl. You know it,” Artemis joked back.

“You two already have a close bond? That’s impressive,” Wally said, “Never seen anyone win over any of my friends this quickly,” he muttered.

They joked for a little while longer, just getting to know Wally before she had to go, she had to get to Jason’s.

The walk was a while away, so she went and sat on a park bench for a minute to check her phone, Jason had texted her.

Hey baby, are you coming over?

I am, yes. I actually just met Wally.

You met Wally and I wasn’t there to see it? C’mon.

Artemis introduced us! Go yell at her.

Oh. Never mind. I won’t do that.

Ha! Scared of her?

Maybe a little, she can be scary, okay?

You can’t tell but I’m laughing at you.

Dhmu.

That’s fine, I’ll just go hang out with Alfred and not you. He seems like he would be spiteful like me.

That’s unfair.

I thought you said don’t hit me up?

Fuck.

Checkmate.

I am upset.

No you’re not.

No I’m not.

She would walk down the street further, maybe within a couple steps to reach the Manor, when a man dragged her into an alleyway. She yelped.

“Uh, hello? Can I help you?” she asked, pretending she wasn’t terrified.

“How much would Bruce give me for you?” the attacker mumbled before he tried to knock her to the ground, but she had another plan.

He grabbed her, put his face close to hers, and she head-butted him, he would stumble back, and she started running to the Manor.

“Come here you fucking bitch!” he screamed. She could feel her nose bleeding as she ran and ran, the security saw her and pulled her into the gateway before drawing their guns and urging her to run to the steps of the Manor.

And she ran. The security at the door saw her and let her in, and yelled for Alfred.

“What is this nonsense, oh,” Alfred paused when he saw the blood running out of Y/N’s nose, “Miss Y/N, what happened to you?” he asked before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the entry-way bathroom and opening a first-aid kit.

“Okay so, what happened was I was walking to the Manor because my car got towed right? And this fucking bastard dude pops out from an alleyway and pulls me into it, asks some bullshit about how much Bruce would pay for me, when he grabbed me and tried to knock me down, when I head-butted him and started running,” she said, completely unphased.

Alfred didn’t respond to her and started to stop the bleeding when Bruce called for him, “In the entry-way bathroom, Master Wayne!” he answered.

Bruce came around the corner and saw Alfred was already tending to Y/N, “Well, this is the event where I meet my son’s girlfriend, when she is bleeding and running from a strange man in an alleyway.”

“Heh, sorry,” she said and outstretched her hand to shake his, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.”

“I can tell you’re going to be quite the addition to this household,” he said as he took her hand and shook it, “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good. I guess you can’t get mad at Jase for being a reckless man now.”

“I really can’t.”

“Alright, you should be good, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you, Alfred. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I’ve been taking care of 5 boys and 3 girls since most of them were little, Miss Y/N. A little blood is really no big deal for me to handle.”

“That’s obvious.”

“You can go see the boys now, they’re going to ask you though,” Bruce said.

“I know.”

She walked to Jason’s room, hoping that he wouldn’t have all of his siblings in the room, he did though.

“Hey, Y/N- what the fuck happened to you?” Jason exclaimed when she opened the door.

“Oh great, all your siblings are here. Anyway, I guess,” she paused, taking in a big breath so she could run through the events quickly, “So I was walking here ‘cause my car got towed, right? When some fucking bastard man grabs me and yanks me into an alleyway and starts going off about how much Bruce will pay him to get me back or something,” she paused again, “And when he tried to knock me down by getting really close and personal to my face, like an idiot I should add, I head-butted him.”

“You did what?’

“I’m not done yet, met your dad when I actually had blood running out of my nose because that's just my fucking luck. Okay, now you can be disappointed in me,” she joked.

“I will say again, you did what?”

“Something stupid?” she said.

“You could say that again, my god, what went through your head?”

“Uh, nothing. Just survival. Fight or flight but I head-butted a man, and hi, everyone.”

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Dick,” Dick said, “You clearly are meant for Jason,” he joked, “That's something he would do.”

“Don’t encourage her, Dick!”

Stephanie got up and greeted her, “You know, Y/N, I always wanted a crazy sister,” she joked, “I’m Stephanie, the black-haired girl is Cass, and the red-head is Barbara.”

“Me too,” Cass hopped onto the joke.

“It’s something else when you meet the girl your brother is dating after she head-butted a man, apparently,” Y/N laughed, “I know it��s far-fetched-”

“Not really,” Tim cut her off, “You know Jason protected Will when they were attacked?”

“That’s Tim, by the way,” Dick said.

“So you can’t yell at me for head-butting a man!” Y/N joked at Jason while going to sit beside him, he slinged an arm around her shoulder and leant his head into her head.

“Well, you seem like a nice enough girl,” Barbara said, “Take away the reckless behavior, and you are lovely.”

“That is valid, to be honest. Not exactly the way you want to meet your brother’s girlfriend.”

“You think?” Jason asked, sarcastically.

“Ha ha.”

“See, she thinks I’m funny, why can’t you fucks?”

Y/N laughed and then asked Dick, who was playing RE8 at the time, staring at the photo of Donna Bentiveno, “She’s cute, isn’t she, Dick?”

“Have I been staring?”

“Let’s just say Angie is probably very pissed at you.”

“Oh! Whoops. There’s a point to this, I forgot.”

“I don’t blame you, I remember forgetting there was a point and the little bitch devil doll would attack you.”

“Language.”

“Oh no, you’re lame. Gross.”

“Excuse me?” Dick asked as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.

“Do you guys see why I like her now?” Jason asked.

“Uh no, she’s mean,” Dick said.

“You’re going to die if you don’t start paying attention, Dick,” Y/N said.

“Oh!” and he died.

“And that kids, is why we listen to the person who’s 100%’ed the game.”

------------------------------

Y/N and Jason would spend hours with his brothers and sisters until the sun started to set and they all scattered to their own rooms to  do their own things. you can’t keep a lot of kids in one room for so long.

Once everyone left, Y/N placed her hands on Jason and kissed him, she was actually able to be laid on his pillow, he was able to pin her to the bed. And they did just that. He was on top of her, using his one arm to prop himself up and using his other hand to touch her face.

Her hands found their way into his hair like they always did, she found a lot of joy in playing with his hair. Their tongues danced together, they never fought or anything, they just enjoyed each other when Jason let out a small moan and she let out a small laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, Tiger,” she joked, “You’re not fully healed.”

“You literally smashed your face into another man but I can’t moan when I kiss you?”

“Because I know you want more.”

“Hell yeah I do,” he said as he went back for more, actually using his strength to keep her to the bed, but she didn’t protest this time.

[naralanis]

You're going to be the drain of all my birthday money with all this talk about fountain pens RIP

Anyway, I'm hooked, do you have any recommendations for pens that feel really nice but are under $100?? Do they exist?

To make matters worse: I'm a lefty, so I don't know if I even could write with one. But I'm also an artist, so I could try drawing.

Thanks for all your advice!!

I regret nothing, let your wallet suffer as mine has!

please god no don't be like me

Not only do the pens you ask about exist, I have several recommendations for fountain pens under $100, fret not! There's a fountain pen for every budget, but I especially have some great recs if you want something that feels luxurious without paying top dollar.

My top recommendation in your case would be the Lamy Safari or the AL-Star (and you can go for one of the special limited editions that are on sale pretty much everywhere right now; you can find the regular editions under $20 at Amazon and some other online retailers; the AL-Star is a little more expensive).

Here's my reasoning:

1. They're not expensive.

2. Interchangeable nibs. Find that the fine is too thick? Why buy a whole ass other pen? Buy an extra-fine nib! And yes, technically many fountain pens have interchangeable nibs, but the Lamy's are by far the simplest I've encountered.

3. Lamy makes a left-handed nib (designated by LH). Now, this might make a big difference or not, but I have some lefty friends who swear by them, and they're not hard to find, nor are they more expensive than the regular nibs.

4. They're light. This can be a good thing or a bad one depending solely on your own preference, but since you seem to be interested in trying to draw with it, lighter is usually better (according to my fountain-pen peeps who actually draw with them!)

OK, so, it's no secret I love the Lamy Safari/AL-Stars -- they're my daily drivers, and have been for several years. However, not everyone is a fan, and that's OK! Here are some things people don't like so much about it:

1. The triangular grip -- while the grip is there to make sure you keep the pen at the correct position when you write, some people don't like it, because they grip the pen a little differently. This may be especially true for lefties -- if you've adapted your grip to write overhand, for example, the angle may be a little bit uncomfortable.

2. It doesn't come with a converter. Yeah, this one bothers me as well. There are plenty of cheap pens around that give us a converter to use bottled ink. The Safari doesn't -- if you want a converter to come with your pen, you have to shell out for the AL-Star. Lamy, why??

3. The line may be thicker than you expect. This is especially true for people who want very, very fine lines (usually for sketching, or if they have handwriting like my wife's, whose writing resembles morse code to the naked eye). This is true for most European-style nibs. If you want like, hairline-fine nibs, you gotta go for the Japanese extra fines!

If you'd like to delve much, much deeper into the countless other recommendations I have, see below the cut! You've been warned!

Here are some other recommendations, from least expensive to most expensive! I'm attaching links to certain fountain pen retailers, but feel free to look for these models elsewhere.

1. Jinhao X450/x750 ($6-$10)

Pros: Cheap, hefty, comes with a converter, several colour options

Cons: May be too heavy, nib comes in medium (and it can be juicy!). Luckily, you can buy separate #6 nibs that you can swap out.

2. Jinhao 8802 ($12-$20)

Pros: Cheap, pretty, good heft, comes with a converter, and comes in a fine nib!

Cons: ... struggling to think of any, tbh! I love this little pen!

3. Hong Dian Forest Series ($15-$20)

Pros: IT PRETTY and also one of the most reliable pens I own. Comes with a converter, fine nib options, it's all-metal.

Cons: May be a little too slim if you have big hands!

4. Diplomat Magnum ($18-$25)

Pros: Ink-window so you can see your ink level, converter included, soft-touch nib (it can take a bit more pressure from people not used to fountain pens), several colour options

Cons: It's light. Very, very light, and some people really don't like that. It also has a triangle grip, so avoid if you're not into that.

5. Platinum Plaisir ($17-$43)

Pros: Japanese fine nib, so it goes very fine. Also, the Platinum seal on the cap is fucking phenomenal -- this shit NEVER dries out.

Cons: These nibs are pretty stiff and have a little feedback (a Platinum quirk). Also, the crazy difference in price reflects the addition of special editions.

See also: Platinum Preppy, Prefounte (cheaper!) and Procyon (expensive!)

6. Pilot Metropolitan ($15-$30)

Pros: classy look, good weight, smoothest fine nibs you'll find pretty much everywhere

Cons: a converter is included, but it is the shittiest one imaginable!

See also: Pilot Kakuno, Explorer (close or cheaper), Prera (expensive)

7. TWSBI Diamond 580 AL R ($50-$70)

Pros: It's a piston filler -- that means instead of that measly little cartridge or converter, you get a massive chunk of the pen body to house the ink! And it's a demonstrator, so you can see it sloshing around. It also has Fine and Extra-Fine nib options.

Cons: the TWSBI fine nibs are closer to the Lamy fines than the Pilot/Platinum ones -- they're overall juicier, which may be a hindrance for lefties.

See also: TWSBI ECO (cheaper, unless we're talking special editions), TWSBI Vac700r (expensive!)

8. Lamy Studio ($70-$80)

Pros: It's beautiful, comes with a converter, and has a nice weight to it without being too hefty. Plus, it takes the standard Lamy nibs -- from the Safari, AL-Star, LX, Aion, Scala, Logo, CP1... etc etc etc!

Cons: The usual with Lamy nibs (thicker line than you may expect). Plus, some people may find the grip a bit slippery (it's stainless steel).

9. Kaweco AL-Sport ($80-$90)

Pros: This little pen can take a beating. Toss it in your backpack, your laundry (pls don't), run it over with your car (pls pls don't). It's very compact, as it's a pocket pen -- fits in your palm!

Cons: It... tiny. Very tiny, with teeny ink capacity to match. No converter. Short cartridges only. Clip sold separately...

See also: Kaweco Sport Classic (cheaper, along with Frosted Sport and Skyline Sport!), Kaweco Sport Brass (same price or higher) Kaweco Perkeo (cheapest!)

WHEW, there you go. Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg--there are many, many more pens around in this price range and below (and obviously, above). Have fun in the rabbit hole!

[ollieofthebeholder]

leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall): a TMA fanfic

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] Also on AO3

Chapter 20: Jon Prime

Jon had been worried, before they had come back in time, about how well he would adjust to being in the past, pre-Apocalypse. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle the lessened level of terror, or the need to eat and sleep completely again, or being, essentially, less than he’d been, or for that matter the urge to storm the Institute and throttle Jonah Magnus in his office. He’d fretted about a lot of things.

As it turned out, none of them were things he needed to fret about.

His body reacclimated to human needs quickly enough, and it actually felt kind of good to feel the rumble of hunger or the drag of exhaustion again. It was definitely good to get back to cooking, which he’d sorely missed doing even if it felt odd to be cooking for more than himself and Martin. Martin had been right about his statement fueling Jon for a while, and his younger counterpart had taken to bringing home any real statements he came across; it was enough. And with Martin there, he didn’t feel less.

As for storming the Institute, that urge had been surprisingly easy to resist. Tim had managed to convince them to stay at his house longer by asking them to keep an eye on Past Martin while he healed. His excuse had been that Jon knew what Past Martin was going through and Martin knew what his past self was like, so they could keep him from doing anything stupid. Jon guessed there was more to it than that, but he didn’t want to pry into anyone’s minds, so he just let it go and agreed. It seemed simpler.

Martin had adapted well, too. Granted, he’d still been human—as far as Jon knew—before they came back, and he’d had two weeks to adjust to being blind before they were reunited, but he’d picked up on the cane Tim bought him fairly quickly. He didn’t seem to need it around the house, though, and when Jon questioned him about that, Martin said that he had a pretty good sense of direction when the world makes sense, Jon. And, honestly, Jon couldn’t argue with that. Tim spent a Sunday afternoon reorganizing his cupboards, then showed Martin where everything was so he could feel more independent in the kitchen while Jon watched from the doorway with a grin.

Past Martin got stronger by the day. At first, he mostly slept, which was fine with Jon, since it meant he could spend time with Martin and not feel guilty. He’d accidentally fallen asleep with his head on Martin’s lap one afternoon and woken to soft laughter, which is how he found out that Past Martin and Past Jon had apparently discussed things and Sasha was the only member of what Tim insisted on referring to as Team Archives who didn’t know they were together. After that, they’d dropped the pretense and just been themselves. It had been a huge relief to Jon. It had also been a relief—and a surprise—that Tim didn’t tease them mercilessly, but when he mentioned that to Martin, Martin just laughed and shook his head.

They’d all fallen into an easy domesticity. It was honestly the most surreal thing Jon had experienced in probably his entire life. Sasha and Past Jon were still staying with Tim—Jon had no idea what argument Tim had used on them, but it seemed to be working—and Jon delighted in watching the three of them, together with Past Martin, draw closer together into a cohesive unit that would be harder for Jonah to manipulate. Often, he would come out of the spare room from recording a statement, tape recorder in hand, to find them sharing stories or playing games and laughing. Some nights he joined in on the games, too, but mostly he just sat back with Martin and watched, grinning.

There were arguments. Of course there were arguments. They were all human beings with their own personalities and quirks. Nothing was going to be perfect harmony. Thankfully, they were usually made up fairly quickly. It felt like home, in a way, something Jon hadn’t experienced in he didn’t know how long. He knew it couldn’t last, but he was determined to enjoy it while he could.

Several weeks passed like that. Jon could see the signs that Past Martin was getting restless and impatient to be back at work—he listened hungrily to the team’s tales of what they’d been up to, ventured tentative suggestions on avenues of research or possible connections they might have missed—but he was, ultimately, a far better patient than Jon had been. Not that that was difficult.

As Past Martin’s recovery progressed, the three of them began taking walks in the afternoon, Jon letting the two Martins go ahead of him and following just behind. Partly it was that there really wasn’t room for them to walk three abreast, but mostly it was him giving them the opportunity to see what they were capable of on their own while he watched their backs, literally. At first they were slow circuits of a single block, and then Past Martin needed to sit down for quite a while, but within a couple of weeks he was walking easily and seemed almost back to normal. The scars healed better than they had for Jon, partly because Martin’s skin was fairer than Jon’s but mostly because Past Martin was better about both following doctor’s orders and not picking at the healing wounds. Tim’s had healed about the same, Jon remembered, a thought which still sent a lance of melancholy through him. And finally, the day came when he returned triumphantly from a check-up with the news that he’d been cleared to return to work that Monday.

“We’ll be glad to have you back,” Past Jon said sincerely, actually smiling in a way Jon couldn’t remember smiling until the too-brief time he and Martin had had in Scotland. “It’s all kind of…I won’t lie, it’s odd to sit around and keep working like nothing has changed. Like we don’t know what’s going on. But we’ve managed. There’s a lot more than can be easily done with three, though.”

“I’ll do whatever you need,” Past Martin promised. “God, it’ll feel good to get back into things.”

“Kind of surprised you didn’t try to get us to let you come back earlier, actually,” Tim teased him. “Don’t think none of us saw you chomping at the bit.”

Past Martin gestured to Jon and Martin. “They wouldn’t let me bring it up.”

“How long did you wait before going back?” Past Jon asked.

Jon grimaced. “A month. I should have stayed out longer, to be honest, and I ended up needing substantial physical therapy. But I was already obsessing over who killed Gertrude Robinson, and I didn’t handle being alone with my thoughts very well. Tim was out longer.”

“How long?” Tim asked curiously.

“Eight weeks, give or take.”

“So we can be away from the Institute? I thought you said…” Tim trailed off.

Jon paused, knife suspended over the cutting board. “I—I never thought of that. God, how did I not think of that? Our Tim seemed fine when he first came back, and he never said anything, but…”

“You can be away from the Institute, just not for good,” Martin said. “When you’re out…convalescing, that’s one thing. Even if you’re on an extended vacation, that should be okay. It’s if you try to leave, if you just up and walk away with the idea that you won’t be back, that you’ll have problems. As long as you really intend to come back at some point, it’s fine.”

Jon turned around and stared at Martin. “How long have you known that?”

“Since Elias told us we were trapped there?”

“My God, that was…” Jon rubbed his temple with his free hand. “Why didn’t you say anything? And please don’t say ‘it never really came up.’”

Martin actually smiled at that. “Honestly, Jon, I assumed you knew. I mean, you were away for ages, and I know Basira kept going off on…excursions. She might not have been gone long, but I just…I thought you’d figured it out. Especially when nothing really happened to us in Scotland.”

Jon hadn’t thought about that, either. But yes, at the time they had meant to go back to the Institute eventually, hadn’t they? Or maybe the Eye had let them go because it knew what Jonah was plotting. Either way, Martin was right, he really ought to have figured that out sooner.

He sighed, turning back to his meal prep. “I can, as we have established, be a bit oblivious at times.”

Sasha gave an overly-dramatic gasp. “You? Never.”

“Oh, shut up,” Past Jon grumbled.

Tim snickered. “Hey, does that mean you two have to come back to the Institute, too?”

“That’s…more complicated.” Jon scraped the contents of the cutting board into the pot. “I’m bound closely enough to the Eye that I’m not…dependent on the Institute, I don’t think? As long as I’m taking statements, feeding the Eye, I’m fine. I believe. And Martin is cut off from the Eye entirely. But it’s a rather moot point, as we intend to move into the tunnels beneath the Institute anyway.”

“You can’t seriously be planning to do that,” Tim protested. “Come on, they can’t be comfortable—”

“They aren’t. But that’s not the point, Tim.” Jon sighed and reached for the spices he’d selected. “We are putting you in very real danger by being here. Besides, we’re not in a position to assist like we would be if we were closer to the Institute. I don’t particularly like them, but it’s the best option for everyone.”

Tim reached past Jon to get plates out of the cupboard, his expression mulish. Jon braced himself for whatever arguments Tim might throw his way and resolutely shut his mind against prying for it, but before he could say anything, Past Martin came up and put a hand on Tim’s shoulder.

“You can’t fix everything, Tim,” he said quietly. “And I know that’s rich, coming from me, but…we have to trust them. It’s not like we won’t ever see them again if they’re not living under your roof.”

Tim’s shoulders slumped. Jon caught his eye and offered him a smile. “It’s certainly no reflection on you, Tim. It’s just…we need to do this. I desperately need you to trust us.”

“I can give you that.” Tim managed a smile in reply, then turned to set the table. “You’re not planning to move in tonight, though, right?”

Jon was about to answer, then froze as a rumble of thunder sounded from outside. It was low and gentle, but the sound sent a shudder of horror running down his spine that he couldn’t explain. He had to stand, perfectly still, until the sound stopped.

“No,” he said as soon as he felt able. “Not tonight.”

He went back to what he was doing, or tried to, but there was obviously a storm building, and the next peal of thunder brought his breath up short. The spoon slipped out of his hand and into the pot.

“Are you okay?” Sasha’s voice seemed to be coming from a long way away.

“Fine,” Jon lied automatically. Really, this was ridiculous. There was no reason for this. Thunderstorms had never bothered him before; why were they suddenly an issue now? He retrieved the spoon and returned to cooking.

The others shifted the discussion to the logistics of smuggling Jon and Martin into the Institute and the tunnels beneath them without being spotted. Since Martin was already explaining about the other entrances, Jon didn’t feel the need to jump in. They would still need to figure out which entrance to use, or find one in the first place, and how to get there surreptitiously, but at least there were options beyond “hope to avoid the cameras mounted around the Institute when sneaking into the Archives and subsequently into the tunnels”. That would be the fastest way to tip Jonah off that something was going on.

Another roll of thunder sounded from almost directly overhead—not a sharp crack, but a long, rumbling bass growl. Jon felt it to his core, and he gasped, leaning over to catch himself against the counter. Suddenly he was in the spare room in the cabin in Scotland, the words being torn from his throat against his will: I���OPEN…THE DOOR!

“Whoa!” someone shouted.

“Shit, that’s—how is he—” someone else stammered.

“Get his hand off the burner!”

“Jon! Jon, it’s okay, I’m here, I’m here.”

Something brushed against him, and he jerked away, but then a hand wrapped around his arm and tugged him away from the counter, and then someone was wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. There was a confused babble of voices around him, but Jon couldn’t focus on it, couldn’t focus on anything but the thunder and the static filling his mind and the fact that for some reason his hand hurt, why did his hand hurt…

“Jon,” the voice said again in his ear, and it was Martin’s voice, he sounded upset, he sounded scared, and Jon couldn’t let him be scared but didn’t know how to fix it, so he looked up desperately and saw Martin’s face close to his. “Come on, let’s go in the other room, it’s okay. Come on, I’ve got you. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Jon couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. He just let Martin lead him out of the room they were in and into another, keeping his eyes fixed on Martin the whole time, and then they were sitting on something and Martin pulled Jon into his arms, onto his lap, and wrapped him up securely. One hand came up to cup the back of his head, the other rubbed his back in slow, soothing circles.

“I’m here, Jon,” Martin murmured, his voice low and gentle despite crackling with emotion. “You’re here. We’re both here and we’re safe. We’re in London. The world isn’t ending, Jon. You didn’t end the world. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

How, the small part of Jon that wasn’t numb with terror thought, did Martin always seem to know the right thing to say? It was a ridiculous thought, of course; Martin didn’t always know the right thing to say, any more than Jon did, and they’d had more than a few arguments over one of them saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But when it was a situation like this, when Jon panicked or got lost in his own head or was hurting, Martin always seemed to come up with the right words. Jon fisted his hands into Martin’s shirt and buried his face in his chest, focusing on the heartbeat that always soothed him when things got too bad. One of his hands, in a distant way, hurt, but he didn’t let go. He couldn’t.

Of course the world wasn’t ending. It couldn’t be. How could the world end with Martin there? That was just ridiculous. If the world ended, he’d be all alone.

“You’re not alone, Jon,” Martin said, and shit, had he said that out loud? “I’m here. I will always be here. I won’t ever leave you. I promise. I’m here. I’m here.”

“You’re here,” Jon whispered. The words felt raw in his throat, but it felt good to say them. He whispered them again and again, and Martin whispered them back to him. They passed the words back and forth, you’re here, I’m here, you’re here, and slowly, slowly, Jon felt the terror recede.

The storm didn’t lessen. If anything, it got worse, but oddly, that helped, too. The sharper the thunder got, the calmer Jon grew. A mighty thunderclap rattled the windows, and the power went out, making someone yelp from the other room, but Jon was able to take his first full breath. He slowly eased his grip on Martin’s shirt and sagged against him with a heavy sigh.

“Better?” Martin asked, rubbing his back.

“A little.” Jon tilted his head back and rested his chin on Martin’s chest, looking up at him. There was only the barest amount of light in the room, but it was enough to see the outline of his boyfriend’s face by. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Martin pressed a light kiss to Jon’s forehead. “How’s your hand?”

“Hmm?” Jon became aware that his hand still hurt a lot. He eased it away from Martin and stared at it. It was red, almost raw, and he could see a couple of blisters on the palm that had miraculously remained intact, despite the grip he’d had on Martin’s shirt. “Oh. I—did I put it on the stove?”

“Apparently. Let me see.”

Jon managed a smile. He turned his hand over, palm up, and laid it in Martin’s. Martin hovered his thumb just over the top of Jon’s palm. “It’s still warm. Hold on, let me go find out what Tim’s got in that medicine cabinet of his.”

“Plenty,” a voice said from the doorway. Jon started, then relaxed when he realized it was his own voice, and that was still weird to hear. He looked up to see Past Jon coming in, a torch in one hand and a small handful of supplies in the other. “I was going to just leave it on the table for you, but…”

“Thank you,” Jon said sincerely. He didn’t leave the comfort of Martin’s embrace, though. The panic had left him a bit shaky and he wasn’t sure he could really sit up on his own, but more than that, he honestly didn’t give a damn if it made him look weak to lean on Martin. That was part of what love was, right?

Past Jon set the things in his hands on the table, then lined them up. “Cool compress, lotion, gauze, bandages. Paracetamol on the end if you need it for the pain. I—do you need a spare hand?”

“We’ve got it, but thank you,” Martin said. He picked up the compress, then pressed it gently to Jon’s hand. It was obvious he’d done this before, in some capacity.

Past Jon nodded and straightened, then hesitated before leaving the room. Awkwardly, he asked, “Can I…are you sure you’re okay? That looked a lot like, well, a panic attack.”

“It was,” Jon said softly. He hesitated, looking up into Martin’s eyes. Even though he knew Martin wasn’t really looking back at him per se, that he couldn’t actually see him, he could feel his attention, and they’d learned in the last few weeks that they knew each other well enough that they could still communicate wordlessly, to an extent. Turning back to his past self, he explained, “It was—the last thunderstorm I remember came up while I was reading…Jonah’s monologue.”

Past Jon flinched. “Ah. Well, I’ll, erm…I’ll leave you to that, then.” He gestured at the supplies and retreated back to the kitchen.

Jon and Martin sat in silence for a long moment. Martin kept applying pressure to the compress on Jon’s hand, his other hand securely supporting it, keeping it elevated. At last, Jon said, “I—I never asked if it was actually storming. That day. If it was…real thunder I heard or if it was just…the impending end of the world.”

“It was. I was on my way back. At first I thought I’d grab an umbrella, but then I thought…I thought I’d just stay downstairs until you finished your statement, then bring you a cup of tea or something. And then…” Martin trailed off and shook his head.

Jon bit his lip. “At least you made it back before…the Door Opened.”

“No, Jon,” Martin said softly. “I didn’t. I was still a good five minutes’ walk from the safe house when it happened.” He tried to laugh. “Ordinarily, anyway. I ran, as soon as I realized…I don’t know that I realized what exactly was going on, but I knew it was bad, and I knew that it was probably coming after you.”

“My God, Martin.” Horror ran through Jon’s body, and he reached out with his free hand to grip Martin’s shirt again.

“Hey, careful, I need room to work.”

“You were outside when—you c-could have been killed. God, I could have lost you and—”

“But you didn’t,” Martin reminded him. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Jon’s for a moment. “I’m here, Jon. You’re here. We’re both here. We survived the end of the world. We made it. Together.”

Jon took a deep, steadying breath. “Maybe one day it won’t be so hard to remember that.”

“Well, I’ll always be here to remind you.” Martin straightened up and lifted the compress, then checked the heat of his palm and set the compress aside.

Jon glanced at the next item on the table and grimaced. “Of course the next step is lotion.”

“Do you want to do it yourself?” Martin asked. “You’ve got to keep things from drying out, but…I understand if someone else rubbing it in might be a bit much.”

At least that was something Jon had known he had an issue with before. Just not something he’d thought he would ever have to think about. He started to say yes, then shook his head, despite knowing Martin couldn’t see him. “No. No, will—will you do it? Please? I trust you.”

Martin’s face softened. They both knew what Jon was asking for. “Of course, Jon.”

He poured a little bit of the lotion into Jon’s hand. Jon tried hard not to flinch at the feel of it pooling into his cupped palm. Martin replaced the cap and set the bottle back on the table, nearly missing it, then took Jon’s hand and began gently massaging the lotion into it. Jon focused on Martin’s face and tried to regulate his breathing.

“Tell me something,” Martin requested abruptly.

Jon cocked his head, slightly off-balance. “What?”

“Anything. Your favorite play, your earliest childhood memory, your most embarrassing uni story. Anything.”

“O-oh, okay,” Jon said, surprised. He tried to think for a moment. “Ah—I’ve always been fond of The Duchess of Padua.”

Martin smiled encouragingly. “Yeah? I don’t know that one. Tell me about it.”

Jon launched into an explanation of the plot. The more into it he got, the more wildly he gesticulated with the hand Martin wasn’t attending to. Martin listened to Jon ramble the way he always did, with a smile and a look of genuine interest as Jon went on about a topic he knew nothing about and honestly didn’t care all that much about. He’d even told Jon, simultaneously not long ago and an eternity ago, that he’d always hated the theater, yet here he was letting Jon describe in technical detail the plot of a play he’d had no good reason to fall in love with.

“—staged very often, or studied for that matter, but I always thought it was fascinating,” he concluded with a sigh. “I actually rose a bit in a professor’s esteem because I used that one as the basis for our term paper on one of Wilde’s works rather than The Importance of Being Ernest or The Picture of Dorian Gray.”

“Yeah, I know how that goes. Best grade I ever got in school was on a paper I wrote on The Ballad of Reading Gaol.” Martin set something on the coffee table. “How’s that?”

“I—” Jon looked down at his hand. The lights were still out, but his eyes had adjusted, and he could see the stark white bandage looped neatly around his hand, securing the gauze without being too tight. “Oh. You’re done.” He gave his boyfriend a slightly accusing look. “You were distracting me.”

“You were panicking,” Martin told him. He wrapped both arms around Jon again. “I really was listening, though. I love listening to you talk about something you know a lot about. Or even something you’re just pretending you know a lot about.”

“Hey,” Jon protested, but without any real heat. He tucked his head into the crook of Martin’s neck and sighed, curling into him. “Thank you. For taking care of me. For knowing me so well. For being here.”

“Where else would I be?” Martin kissed the crown of his head. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

How many times had they passed those words back and forth, Jon wondered? He could probably Know the exact number, with a little effort, but it didn’t matter, because it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. They could say it with every breath they had left from now until the end of time, and it still wouldn’t be enough. Jon had made a vow, kneeling in the remains of what had once been his boss’s office and pressing futilely against the gaping wounds in Martin’s chest, that he would never leave an opportunity to say them unsaid. They didn’t need to say it for each other to know, but it was important to Jon that they did. And while Martin never said as much, Jon knew it reassured him to hear confirmation every once in a while.

They sat in silence for a while, Jon letting Martin’s presence and the secure feel of his embrace soothe away the last of his lingering terror, or at least his lingering immediate terror. The fear would never go away completely. He’d grown to accept that. But at least now it was just the usual hum of background terror that was his everyday life, rather than the sharp, immediate panic of a flashback. Here with Martin, he was as safe as he ever could be.

At last, he sighed. “We should probably go back into the other room before the others eat everything.”

“I’m sure they saved us some,” Martin said. “But sure. You’ll have to get up first.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re sitting on my lap, Jon.”

“Oh. Right. I knew that.” Jon managed to get to his feet. Martin chuckled as he stood, too.

Tim had lit several candles and was apparently mid-debate with Sasha over whether or not he should add another one to the mix. Past Jon rolled his eyes in Jon and Martin’s direction when they came in. “Please make them shut up.”

“Impossible, I’m afraid. They’re both breathing,” Jon said dryly. Tim snorted and Sasha stuck her tongue out at him. “It smells good in here. Have you been baking?”

“Electric oven. Jon barely finished cooking dinner before the power went out. It’s the candles,” Tim admitted. “One of the kids in the neighborhood keeps selling them to raise money for school trips and the like, and I’m apparently one of his best customers.”

“Well, if you add any more, the smell might be overpowering. Or you might set off your smoke detector.”

“Point. Okay, then, sit down and eat. We saved you a couple plates.”

Jon didn’t have to look at Martin to see the I-told-you-so look on his face.

As they ate, Sasha slid a piece of paper towards him, covered in neat, still-unfamiliar handwriting that Jon presumed to be hers. “Can you think of anything on here we missed?”

The lighting wasn’t really adequate to read the paper clearly, and Jon was tired, despite Martin’s presence and support; the panic attack had drained him a bit more than he’d expected. He was going to need something stronger than a couple of old statements to recover,  but he had no idea how to go out and get it. It all combined to make him forget himself a little. He reached out with the Eye rather than his own eyes to skim the paper. Sleeping mats, camp stoved, tinned food (ANYTHING but peaches)…

“What’s all this?” he asked, picking it up to see a bit better.

“Supplies,” Past Jon said brusquely. “You didn’t think we’d make you stay in those tunnels without some way of being comfortable, did you?”

Actually, Jon hadn’t thought about it. He picked up the list and studied it more closely, with his actual vision this time. It seemed like a fairly comprehensive list. There were a few things on it that he recognized as bearing his boyfriend’s hallmark, unexpected items that nevertheless might, in certain circumstances, make a huge difference. He angled the paper towards Martin. “Anything you have to add?”

Martin raised an eyebrow. “Unless that’s written in Braille, I don’t think I’m going to be of much use there.”

“Oh. Right.” Jon was thankful that the combination of his complexion and the low light in the room would probably hide his blush from anyone whose eyes still functioned.

Tim looked back and forth between the two Martins. “Wait, you know Braille?”

Past Martin ducked his head, looking mortified. Martin, however, simply nodded slowly. “Mum had one of those pill keepers, you know the ones. I taught myself Braille so I could know which pills to get ready for her without turning on the light before she was ready to be awake.”

The look on both Tim and Past Jon’s faces made Jon slightly glad, and also slightly disappointed, that Martin’s mother was dead. Then he remembered that she’d died while he was in his coma, so she was currently still alive in a nursing home in Devon refusing her son’s visits but accepting, even demanding, his money, and it was very difficult for him to swallow his own anger and uncharitable thoughts. He wasn’t a monster and couldn’t act like one, no matter how good his motives seemed.

Instead, he covered the moment by reading the list aloud to Martin. Martin listened and nodded and smiled when Jon hit the last item on the list. “I don’t think you need to worry about a tape recorder, honestly. They turn up on their own.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Tim said dryly. “But you said the tunnels blocked stuff at times. I figured, just in case…”

“Might be a comfort,” Past Martin suggested softly. It was the first thing he’d said since Jon and Martin had come into the kitchen.

“The tunnels don’t stop the recorders,” Jon said. “But…thank you. It’s thoughtful of you.”

Sasha nodded and took the list. “We’ll get everything together tomorrow, then, and you can find another entrance to the tunnels.”

“Will you be able to find the Archives?” Tim asked. “Through those tunnels, I mean? They’re a mess, honestly.”

“We’ll manage.” Jon actually wasn’t a hundred percent sure how easy it would be. He’d had a map made at one point, but that was after Leitner had manipulated things for him, and the tunnels were shielded from the Eye, somehow. He’d be lucky not to have to live with the ever-present…fuzziness he’d dealt with when they’d been staying with Georgie and Melanie and their inadvertent cult. But they really and truly didn’t have a choice.

“I suppose if we have to, we could put a—a beacon or something at the foot of the stairs under the trapdoor,” Past Jon said uncertainly.

Tim grinned. It looked slightly diabolical in the flickering candlelight. “Ooh, or one of those electronic gizmos they use in hunting to attract prey.”

“I’m very sure random deer calls would have the opposite effect than luring us to where you want us to go,” Martin said with a smirk. “Have you ever heard those things? They’re terrifying.”

The conversation devolved into a slightly silly discussion of the weirdest animal cries they’d ever heard, and Jon was able to breathe and eat his dinner without too much trouble.

That night, though, curled into bed with Martin, he said quietly, “What if it’s a bad idea? What if being down there…what if I fall apart again? What if it’s like at Salesa’s, but worse?”

“It won’t be,” Martin said. The confidence and assurance in his voice was almost a physical force.

“How can you know that, though?”

Martin ran a hand through Jon’s hair, gently untangling a knot that had probably got there during his panic attack in the living room. “Did you know that if you lose sight in one eye, you only lose something like twenty percent of your overall vision but all of your depth perception?”

“No?” Jon could have known that, if he’d wanted to, obviously, but it wasn’t something he’d ever consciously set out to learn. He also didn’t see how it was relevant.

“I mean, you can sort of train yourself to compensate for the depth perception, but yeah, twenty percent of your vision. Mostly peripheral. It makes it harder to see people coming from that side of things.” Martin’s fingers caught in another knot. “The Beholder really had two eyes overlooking the Apocalypse, Jon. Jonah and you. He saw from the heights and you saw from ground level. He oversaw, and you…experienced. I’d even go so far as to say you were the dominant eye, so to speak. Of course you were weak when you were cut off from it. It’s like a phantom pain. That won’t be an issue now. The Eye isn’t as…strong. You said yourself, you’re still…you, just not quite as…all-powerful?”

“Hopefully I’ve still got enough power to do what needs to be done,” Jon sighed, but Martin’s words were a comfort.

After a pause, Martin added, “And you have me.”

“And I have you,” Jon agreed. “And we can probably get fairly close to the Archives. All right, I know I’m probably worrying unnecessarily. It’s just…” He trailed off, tracing his fingers over the three puckered holes clustered just above Martin’s heart. Jonah had known what he was doing, far too well. “I can’t lose you again, Martin. I can’t. And I’ll never forgive myself if it happens because I wasn’t strong enough.”

Martin covered Jon’s hand with his own. “It won’t. You’re strong enough, Jon. I trust you. And you know I’ll be right there with you the whole time.”

“I know.” Jon snuggled into Martin’s chest, then leaned up to kiss him. “You know I can’t do this without you.”

“I wouldn’t want to see you try.”

Jon yawned and adjusted the covers over the both of them. Martin rolled onto his side and buried his face in Jon’s hair, and Jon sighed with almost-forgotten contentment as he drifted off to sleep, Martin’s heartbeat thudding steadily in his ear.

[babblable]

SO, I am so sorry, but I can't decide what to ask for the character ask meme, so I'm asking EVERYTHING for Jackie pls forgive me ;w;

1. How likely are they to have a stuffed animal? What kind? How many?

They currently only have one stuffed animal atm. Their Sheepy Sleep Sheep. Or Fluffy as Jackie calls it!

If they had any more stuffed animals, they'd name every one of them. They do not though, only got the one.

2. What does their bedroom look like?

Currently, unless they're bunking with Abbigull in her captains quarters, it looks like your regular Salty Squabble barracks. I don't know if they're able to personalize it or not, due to the barracks being for crewmates hired for short voyages rather than long staying family.

Regardless, their room has always been pretty empty. Jackie doesn't have a lot of belongings. They didn't have enough to fill their studio apartment and what they had there is all being abandoned due to Reasons™️. They certainly don't have enough to fill a room right now.

3. Do they collect things for themselves? What do they collect?

Things to chew on, mostly? And Jackie, the child brained dumbass that they are, will put damn near anything in their mouth. They also like to collect gears, bits, bobs, screws, small pieces of metal and tools, though! Also anything dinosaur related. They LOVE dinosaurs.

4. Do they cuddle/snuggull/hug in their sleep? Do they talk in their sleep?

Jackie is the kind of toon that needs pressure when they sleep and thus snuggulls Very Much Into Things, but really only allows two birds, a dog and maybe a rat they've known for a while to be PEOPLE they snuggull into. Otherwise, they mostly just burrow into blankets and hug Fluffy.

5. What are they most afraid of? Does it cause them nightmares? How bad?

Haha, Listen to Warships for your answer to this one! :D

6. How do they respond to stress? Any habits they have when stressed?

Oh boy. They respond to stress mostly by becoming irritable and itchy. If it gets bad enough, they begin to stress molt and combined with their scratching? Depending on what causes it as well, they have gotten physically ill and lost their lunch before. Not Good. Tbh though, Jackie is easily prone to stressing out. They may not look/show it, but this penguin is a ball of anxiety with damn near no skills to manage it, yet.

7. Do they prefer warm, mild or cold baths/showers?

Warm baths, tbh! Showers are nice but they're small and sometimes the strength of the water from the showerhead hurts. Also, they can't splash around as easily in a shower, so not as fun! Don't expect them to come out actually clean though. They learned how to bathe from their dog Todd.

8. What's their view on socks/shoes/pants?

They wear pants usually anyways, so their viewpoint on those is just: [Meh!]

Socks and shoes though? That's a different story. They can't wear socks bc of their talons, but they can wear shoes! It's a learning process, tbh, but they're doing it! They can't figure out how to tie them though. Hmm...

9. Do they like ice in their drinks? how much?

Yes and no. Depending on the drink. They don't drink as many cold beverages as they used to anymore, but when they do, it's usually either icy cold or has plenty of ice in it.

10. Do they have a comforter? What is it?

Yes! Fluffy! Their Sheepy Sleep Sheep!

11. Favorite article of clothing/accessory? Favorite home decoration?

Hmm... Probably their light up sneakers! As for their favorite home decor... they don't really have any.

12. If they could live anywhere, where would it be? What kind of house would they have?

A lighthouse by the shore! With a sunrock to lay on!

13. Favorite game to play with family/friends?

Any game! Even dangerous ones!

14. Favorite moment in their life right now?

Hm... Perhaps their Mama Abbigull holding them til they fell asleep in the nest in the drifting cube. They had never felt more safe than in that moment, in the arms of their Mama after such a frightful day.

15. If they could have any pet, what would it be?

A frog! But they really really do love their dog Todd. He's a very good boy! The BEST Boy!

16. Chili, Soup, Stew or Other? What kind is their favorite? Why?

Soup! Jackie gets colds easy and soups are lighter on their already sensitive belly than the other two.

17. What's their opinion on their childhood, if they had one?

:'D Haha! Warships!

18. What's their view on their siblings?

They haven't quite adopted any yet, so I couldn't tell ya. Although one person is close enough to start being considered...

19. Who do they miss the most right now?

Their best friend, Legs and friend Bilgerat. Legs deserves an explaination the most out of all their friends and Bilgerat deserves to be told what went down, but also to enjoy his vacation.

20. What kind of touch do they need the most right now? Forehead kiss? To hold someone? To be held? [Insert other options here]?

To be held or hugged. Always. Tbh, more specifically from Abbigull and Legs.

21. What do they think their base needs are?

Water, Play, Attention, Todd, Fluffy, Sleep, Food. In that exact order.

22. Opinion on touch in general?

They Cannot Handle. It causes them severe physical pain if from a stranger, unprepared for it, and/or it lasts for too long.

23. Soft, stiff, normal or fuzzy blanket?

Soft and fuzzy!

24. Do they have a secret hideaway they retreat to?

There is a garden hidden away in one of the parks they like to go to...

25. What is their deepest desire right now? Will they work to achieve it?

To get away from Mortis. They'll do their best, but really, they have very little faith in themself and for good reason when compared to him.

26. What's something they're in denial of, if anything?

Wanting to be Bilgerats sibling. And also their worth.

27. What's something they're starting to admit to?

Abbigull being Mama Your Honor.

28. What would they do if they could go back in time?

Dare I say... leave the Glacier Rider.. They had plenty of opportunities to just. not go back to her. But they did.

29. Their favorite color?

Yellow!

30. Do they celebrate their birthday? How do they do so? How would they like to?

They've never celebrated before and honestly wouldn't unless the one person who knows when their birthday is threw them a party or did something to initiate the celebration.

31. How often do they get sick/injured? How are they when they're sick/injured? Sleepy? Needy? Bored? Fussy? [Insert Something Else]?

Jackie gets lethargic as hell and incredibly needy. Growing up a sick kid, their immune system isn't the greatest and combining that with what else they went through? Yeah, no, they're pretty prone to getting sick. It doesn't help that they really don't know what to do other than eat soup and sleep to make it better.

[mostfacinorous]

Stoki Whumptober Day 26: If you thought the head trauma was bad... [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25]

When Loki roused again, it was not for supper, as Steve had promised, but rather late into the next day. 

He quickly checked himself for the stone, then sat up, marveling at the darkness that existed inside of a room without electric lights or magic to show the way. 

Speaking of, he lifted his hand and flicked his wrist, creating a tiny witch light to better see his way to the restroom with-- and immediately panicked. 

He could feel the power-- it was there, in his hand, and he was holding it. He banished it and tried it again. 

“Everything okay?” A voice asked, and Loki extinguished the flame, jolting with shock before recognizing it as Steve’s. 

“Steve?” He asked, nearly hyperventilating now. 

“What is it, Loki?” Steve was at his side in an instant, one hand settling between Loki’s shoulder blades. 

“I can’t see anything-- I--” Loki lifted his hand to his own face and waved it around, able to feel the air in front of him being disturbed, but not see the motion itself. 

Steve sucked in a shocked breath. 

“Okay, okay, it’s alright, let’s figure this out. Maybe it’s like your voice-- your vision was blurry and messed up yesterday, right?” 

Loki nodded, unable to find words. 

“Okay, deep breaths. I’m not gonna leave you alone, we’ll figure this out, and if you can’t heal yourself, we’ll just have to get you to someone who can, okay?” 

Loki did his best to try and relax. He needed to be calm before he tried anything like using seidhr on himself.

And then he remembered why he’d been trying to get up in the first place. 

“Steve… I need to use the restroom.” He hated this, hated feeling so vulnerable and intimately dependent. 

“Okay, sure, no problem. They’ve got outhouses here, so we’re gonna have to get you up, put some shoes back on you. Here we go, just swing your legs off the bed, I’ll get the shoes.” 

Loki let himself be coaxed into a seated position and tried not to panic or cry while Steve gently got him dressed. The concentrated effort of schooling his face at least distracted him until Steve finished with that, and stood.

“Alright. You ready to go?” 

Loki, without thinking, just shook his head no. “Sorry-- context. Is it day or night, are there people about, do they know you, do they expect me to speak…?” 

“It’s the middle of the night, no one should be up, and the last they saw of you, you were passing out in the street. No one will think twice of me helping you to the privy. Promise.” 

Loki exhaled shakily. 

“Alright. Only remember I cannot see-- if anyone is around, please address them. And if there is anything in my path.”

“I’ve got you.” Steve promised, and took Loki’s hands in his. “Up we get.” 

Loki had forgotten that Steve was nearly as strong as an Asgardian, but was pleasantly reminded when his legs initially refused to bear his weight, and Steve caught him against his chest. 

Loki righted himself, however, and refused to consider swooning like a maiden just to get further time with Steve’s arms around him. 

He had a feeling, right now, that all he needed do was ask-- or cry-- and it would happen on its own. And he had more pressing matters to attend to. 

Steve led him through the house, careful to tell him where they were each time they entered a new room, and to warn him of steps down into the rear yard of the house, across the yard and then--

Loki smelled the latrine before they reached it, and must have made a face, because Steve laughed a little.

“I know. But I promise, the seat itself is kept nice and clean. The ladies would revolt otherwise.” 

Loki let Steve lead him up and into the outhouse, then sensed when he faltered. 

“I think I can manage not to piss myself.” He said lightly. “This much I have done in the dark before.” 

Steve didn’t say anything, but Loki assumed he nodded before backing off, and he waited til he heard the door closing before dropping trou and seating himself like a child and relieving his poor bladder. 

Finished, he stood redressed, and opened the door. 

Steve instantly put up a hand and guided Loki down the stairs without complaint. 

“Thank you.” Loki said quietly, as they made their way back into the house. “For all of this… it is… I cannot imagine it would be so easy with anyone else.”

Steve snorted. “No, but then, you might’ve made it back already without me, so. Thank you.” 

Loki shook his head. 

“I think… we should consider making all the rest of the jump in a single bound. I worry how much more I will fall apart in several small leaps, and at least if we make it back, you will have ample help to get me… sorted.” 

He meant healed, but the honest truth was, Loki wasn’t entirely sure he would survive another tango with the stone. 

Steve paused, Loki running into him as a result.

“That doesn’t seem like it’d be a good idea for you.” Steve pointed out. “Maybe we should wait til we get back to our room to discuss it.” 

Loki shrugged. 

“Okay, look, nearly there now, just through here.” Steve started moving again, and Loki followed. 

Once they were inside of the room, door closed securely, and Loki seated on the bed again, Steve heaved a sigh. 

“Okay, so explain to me-- the pros and cons here. Pro, we’d be back, you’d be able to get better help. Cons, whatever it’s doing to you, I assume it’d be bigger and worse?”

“I don’t know.” Loki answered gamely. “It’s got… I wouldn’t say a mind of its own so much as a will of its own. And I didn’t have a terrible reaction to jumping all the way back as far as we were. It’s possible it wants a greater power expenditure, and that my meddling and attempting to control it as I’ve been doing is what’s causing these… setbacks.” 

“Okay…” Steve said slowly. “What’s the other possibility?” 

Loki pursed his lips.

“I suppose in the opposite side of the spectrum… the power razes through me, and I get burned out. It destroys my ability to use seidhr at all, and we become lost at some point in time, potentially far into the future, if I lose control of it mid jump.”

“Oh.” Steve said faintly. “So no risk, then.” His words sounded strangled as he fought to restrain himself. 

Loki heard him kneel beside the bed, and felt him take Loki’s hand in his. 

“No.” Steve said. “We take this slow. We let you heal, however long you need, and then we go a little further. We have time, right? All the time in the world, that’s what the stone means.”

“We have access to all the time in the world.” Loki corrected gently, moving one hand to close over the top of Steve’s. “You and I are getting older, a day at a time. We will already return, if everything works perfectly, as different people than who we were, mere moments after we leave.” 

“That’s fine. It would’ve happened anyway.” Steve could be stubborn when he wanted, Loki had to give him that much. 

“And what if this takes more than a day or two to heal?” Loki asked. “What if we are waiting months between jumps? What if we return to your friends and your hair has gone grey and your face creased with age?” 

Steve squeezed Loki’s hand. 

“What other option do we have? Because losing you isn’t an option.” 

Loki shook his head. 

“Let me see what I can manage, as far as healing is concerned. We will discuss and attempt to make plans from there.” 

“Okay.” Steve agreed. “But I mean it-- nothing that puts you any more at risk than you have to be.” 

Loki huffed and leveraged himself back into a reclined position, leaving his shoes on. 

He heard Steve retreat, and then heard him sit down on something that sounded suspiciously wooden. 

“Steve…” He asked slowly, “What were you sleeping on before I woke you?” 

Steve cleared his throat, and Loki stood, hands out before him, to follow the sound to its source. It wasn’t a large room, and he located the bench with ease and distaste. 

“Unacceptable.” He announced. 

Steve huffed. “There’s only the one bed, Loki, and I don’t think we’ll both fit.” 

“We both fit in a snow shelter not much larger than a coffin, Steve. I think we can manage.” 

“I guess I can’t really argue that. But don’t you need some room, for your healing?” 

“Healing is internal, Steve. Come to bed.” 

Once they had managed to settle themselves, laying on their sides and with Steve’s arms wrapped around Loki, helping to hold him on the bed, Loki closed his eyes and focused inwards. 

He almost laughed, but didn’t want to startle Steve too much. 

He was blinded. But it seemed he’d done it to himself. No doubt the migraine from before had been light sensitive, and in his stupor, he’d made himself completely not sensitive to light. 

He removed it and sighed, glad for that. 

“Will you be okay?” Steve asked, voice directly behind him and his breath stirring the small hairs on Loki’s neck. 

“I will be. I already am.” Loki answered. 

He felt Steve burrow his face into the back of Loki’s shoulder, and couldn’t help but wonder if any of this would still be there in the morning… and beyond, when they returned, would Steve still touch him, hold him, speak kindly to him… or would he create a new distance? 

His friends would be suspicious, of course. Probably none moreso than Barnes. 

Maybe it was better to end it now, get it over with before Loki could grow too comfortable, too hopeful. 

They were going back to their time the next day, Loki decided. Whether Steve liked it or not.

[yikesharringrove]

tagged by: @lostnoise ty 💕

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? I write almost entirely in this one specific brand of purple pen (I’ve found it helps with ye olde dyslexia) but black is the second best option. I also have a collection of gel pens, so I like those too.

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? City. But like, a smaller city is okay.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? Um, like any skill? I have none? I want to learn ASL, though.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? When I drink coffee (which is almost never) I put a lil in.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? The Gaspard and Lisa series.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? I’m the fucking worst bc when I shower, I’ll just like, lay down in the tub for a while. So technically shower.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? It’s be cool to be a fairy.

8. paper or electronic books? I’m not a huge reader, so I have a LOT of audiobooks lol. I mean, I love paper books, but I also love on electric books how I can change the font size and color and stuff.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? My banana skirt, or I have a collection of vintage band shirts from my parents, that are pretty cool. 

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? My legal name is Abigail and I fucking hate it, but I don’t want to go through the rigor of leagally changing it when everyone jsut calls me Abbi anyway 🤷‍♀️

11. who is a mentor to you? One of my professors. She’s an AMAZING woman, and she’s so wonderful. She and a few other women spoke out against one of their old bosses that sexually assaulted several of them, and they managed to get him fired and kicked off the board of a newspaper he was on. She was the first person I opened up to about my own experiencees after that.

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I think it’d be cool to be really recognizable by a certain group, so like be famous for a niche thing where those fans would recognize you, but not EVERYONE in the world would recognize you. I’d like to be an actor or a musician I think.

13. are you a restless sleeper? oh yee

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? Depends. I can be, but I also don’t really care about romantic things in general.

15. which element best represents you? um, idk. Fire, maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? my friends that live three states away.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my friends that live three states away.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. My earliest memory is of driving in the car listening to DMX with my mom, which describes her pretty well.

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’ll put really anythign in my maw. I’ve been lucky to travel a lot and I’ll try anything, so I’ve eaten sheep liver, and bull testicle, and pig brain, and cricket.

20. what are you most thankful for? The opportunities in life I’ve had.

21. do you like spicy food? oh yeah

22. have you ever met someone famous? Yeah, I have some good stories lol

23. do you keep a diary or journal? I try to. It’s helpful for me to write things out, I’m just bad at actually doing it daily. I’ve been keeping one for the past few weeks pretty well though, since there’s been a lot on my mind.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? I fucking hate writing in pencil.

25. what is your star sign? taurus/aries

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy!!!! I only pour a lil cereal in at a time so that it doesn’t get soggy

27. what would you want your legacy to be? That I was kind.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? I’m not a big reader, so again, audiobooks. I just finished Always Look on the Bright Side of Life: A Sortabiography By Eric Idle of Monty Python and I really liked it.

29. how do you show someone you love them? my love leanguage is giving/recieving gifts, so I give a lot of stuff. Like jsut little things, like nice post it notes, or like, by them a coffee or smthn

30. do you like ice in your drinks? depends

31. what are you afraid of? amounting to nothing, that everyone hates me, being a failure, letting my family down. To name a few

32. what is your favorite scent? I realy like floral scents, or good food cooking, or like, pine.

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? If I don’t know them well, it’s title and surname, but I have a lot of middle aged adult friends, so they’re first names always.

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d travel the world.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I’ve only been in the ocean a few times and I’ve only swam in it twice, but that was to snorkel and my sister and I swam with leopard sharks and it was amazing, but it’s easier to swim in a pool lol

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? If I saw the someone dropped it, I’d give it back, but if not, mine. 

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? I’ve seen a lot and I wish on all of them.

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? To love, to be soft and kind and giving, but to understand when to be hard and put yourself first.

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have a lot of plans. The first one I get is gonna match with my sister, in memory of a friend of ours.

40. what can you hear now? I’m listening to some music

41. where do you feel the safest? In my room in my apartment. I’m subleasing to a friend rn bc I had to move back in with my parents for quarantine :/

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My deeply ingrained feelings of not being good enough.

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I would like to live in the late 60s-early 70s for a bit. See good artists when they were up and coming, go to Woodstock.

44. what is your most used emoji? 🥺

45. describe yourself using one word. cold

46. what do you regret the most? Moving back home, tbh.

47. last movie you saw? I watched Gremlins. I went to the drive in the other day with my sister and we saw The Goonies and Gremlins.

[hopeisour4letteredword]

Knock knock akishinji

gasp.... mr akishinji......... i was starting to think you weren’t coming to my party :0c

1- who makes the first move and how?

there are two potential courses of action and they are 1) middle school akihiko asks shinjiro for a good luck kiss before his boxing match as a “””joke””” and shinjiro Actually Does It, The Madman or 2) post-canon shinjiro is like ah fuck it i lived and now i have second chances at everything. hey asshole go out with me

2- who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

shinjiro likes to spend time with koromaru.... make him toys or good dog food, just be a positive influence on an innocent, loving creature in a way that isn’t even tangentially related to fighting. getting akihiko to unwind a little and laugh is also helpful, altho less reliable, since akihiko can be sort of high-strung

3- who is the most romantic?

it’s shinjiro actually

4- who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

akihiko, but only in private. they’re both pretty good at keeping their hands to themselves in public

5- who says ‘i love you’ first?

depends on the timeline. if confession option #1, akihiko. if confession option #2, shinjiro does it while asking akihiko out

6- who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

i dunno?? akijun is okay but i can’t see shinjiro going for that, whereas i’m not sure aki would be too pumped about akishinhamu since i HC akihiko as gay...

7- what do they get up to on a night out?

movies and/or long walks with koromaru!

8- what do they like in bed?

shinjiro’s deepest fantasy is that they’ll figure out a way for him to cuddle up to akihiko at night without a) getting elbowed in the sternum and b) getting woken up at ass o clock when akihiko gets up to go jog. they’ve figured out that akihiko as little spoon solves A, still working out a mutually agreeable solution to B

9- what is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

well, we know that akihiko has a long history of crying in front of shinjiro... shinjiro has probably been caught baby-talking to koromaru about the virtues of his teammates (eg saying nice things about mitsuru/junpei/others), which would mortify him

10- desert island

these scenarios genuinely distress me. am i supposed to assume that any luxury item will automatically generate/include the infrastructure necessary to support it? like, if i bring a nintendo switch, have i now guaranteed a working power outlet? how are the “two songs” the question permits relayed? do i have a shitty old mp3 player that only has memory space for two songs? do i automatically have the power accessible to keep THAT functioning? i have so many questions.

11- what do they hide from one another?

akihiko still has lingering gender hangups as a trans man, and he tries to keep that from shinjiro, so shinjiro doesn’t walk on eggshells while they banter... even with akihiko, shinjiro still feels the need to act tougher and hide his softness and love for cute things

12- what first changes when it starts getting serious?

mitsuru heaves the world’s biggest sigh of relief

13- when do they realize they should get together?

kinda covered in 1. akihiko and shinjiro both start crushing in middle school. akihiko’s moment is more or less realizing if he was going to like girls, he would like mitsuru, and instead he just wants to kiss shinjiro. shinjiro’s moment is still “aw fuck me i didn’t die after all, guess i get do-overs”

14- when one has a cold, what does the other do?

shinjiro forces akihiko to drink a ton of liquids and s l e e p, because making akihiko rest is ironically a very active duty. akihiko panics and makes soup out of a can and sits with shinjiro just anxiety-chatting at him, which works out fine because shinjiro has years of experience zoning out and even taking a nap while akihiko is talking

15- when they watch a film what do they choose and why? who gets the final vote?

akihiko likes mindless action and superhero movies, shinjiro likes true-to-life animal movies and (altho he doesn’t want to admit it) animal-centric cartoons... (shinjiro likes Up). they try to compromise on more action-y animal cartoons when they can, but otherwise they just take turns. sometimes the mood for the night will just be such that akihiko would rather just take it easy and watch one of shinji’s movies, anyway

16- when the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

they both join the yukamitsu survival compound... shinjiro helps with butchering and cooking the food yukari hunts. akihiko goes on a lot of protection, rescue, escort etc trips out of the compound with mitsuru, which stresses shinjiro the fuck out. they have to develop a severity estimation system that charts how stressed shinjiro already is versus how badly mitsuru needs akihiko to come along

17- when they find a time machine, where do they go?

miki :/

18- when they fight, how do they make up?

shinjiro cooks steak for akihiko, akihiko will clean the kitchen from top to bottom and/or pick up something nice from the grocery store for him. depending on how badly akihiko fucked up, it might be something he explicitly does not like but shinjiro does

19- where do they go on their first date?

the park

20- where do they go on holiday?

mitsuru’s private beach OR just some low-key mountains to hike around nature. nowhere too cold though, for shinjiro’s shitty circulatory issues

21- where do they get nervous about going with one another?

akihiko, gender hangups, getting driven to the doctor by shinjiro. shinjiro also hates when akihiko comes to the doctor with him, because he’s always afraid he’ll get belated bad news and he doesn’t want aki to be there for that. but he’s also embarrassed when akihiko comes to craft group meetings and meets shinjiro’s non-SEES friends lmao

22- where does their first kiss happen?

timeline #1: outside school gym. timeline #2: kitchen of akihiko’s post-canon apartment.

23- where is their favorite place to be together?

the park! altho shinjiro is also very partial to just chillin in bed

24- where do they first have sex?

akihiko’s post-canon apartment, hopefully Bed

25- why do they fight?

two boys lost in the sauce.... the proud and angry sauce

26- why do they need to have a serious chat?

oh, god, the trauma hangups. the misunderstandings. the Everything

27- why do their friends get annoyed with them?

they defy everything hamuko and junpei want to place bets on. shinjiro isn’t half as embarrassed about relationship things as they expected him to be

28- why do they get jealous?

akihiko will shamelessly and thoughtlessly get half-naked at the gym, and shinjiro knows he isn’t the only one eyeing his bf. akihiko is kind of jealous of how close shinjiro is with hamuko, but he tries to be reasonable about it, since he likes hamuko and he’s glad shinji has more friends than he used to

29- why do they fall a little bit more in love?

akihiko is profusely praiseful of literally everything shinjiro cooks, even when he kind of wangs it a little. shinjiro claims that makes it meaningless, but he secretly feels soft and tender over it. akihiko can’t handle it when shinjiro is sweet to pets and small children

30- why does it work between them?

lots of shared history as a solid base for the relationship and sheer stubborn determination to get thru the personal and circumstantial obstacles in their way

[rainforestgeek]

Ok I'll hit you. #1-20 please, if you're up for it :)

1. who is the hardest character for you to write?

Hmm. Maybe Pidge. She’s a challenge because she’s an emotional person but she’s not in-touch with her emotions.

Okay, actually the HARDEST is Allura. She and I are such unbelievably different people and it’s so hard to get inside her head.

2. who is the easiest character for you to write?

Lance. For all that he’s wonderfully complex, he’s so external that he’s just not difficult to write. Unlike Pidge, he knows when he feels all the things so I don’t have to hide his motivations from him, if that makes sense. He usually knows why he’s doing what he’s doing - even if it’s dumb as hell.

Also, I get to pour all my stupidest, weirdest jokes into his dialogue! I don’t have to think “is that funny enough to include?” If it’s funny, great! If it’s not, it’s still totally in-character for Lance.

3. How do you know if your writing is “in character”?

Part gut feeling, part review. There have been times when I wrote a scene and thought “this is contrived,” so I take a closer look to see what’s bothering me.

I put a lot of effort into understanding the characters’ psychology. Most of the time, before I write a conversation, I think about what mood they’re in and what subconscious stuff might be driving them unknowingly. That last one is actually a great source of conflict.

Once I’m really in tune with a character, it’s like they’re making the decisions and I’m just the conduit. I once wrote a Plance scene that was just supposed to be a straight confession and getting together fluffy moment, but Lance and Pidge were like “nope, gonna fight,” and boom, the fic was another chapter long

4. Where do your story ideas come from?

Thin air.

For real, it depends on the story. Sometimes it’s “but what if this happened instead?” and sometimes the idea pops up out of nowhere and I jot it down to expand on it later.

5. Do you tell the people in your life that you write fics?

I’m very particular about whom I tell, but yes. My family and closest friends already know I’m weird as hell, and when I get an especially awesome comment on a fic I want to tell my mom and say “that’s the good part of the internet!”

6. What has been the hardest fic for you to write?

Lemme scroll through ao3 for a sec...

Prompts are challenging for me, don’t know why exactly. In another way, smut can be hard (ha) because I don’t want to rewrite the same sex scene each time so I gotta come up with new acts, descriptors, turn-ons, etc.

Oh, like specific fics? Those ones are unfinished and unpublished.

7. What fic of yours makes you the most emotional?

Either Smile the Brightest or Teenage Soldier. They both deal with some hard and controversial topics and I have no idea where they came from, they just kind of happened. 

8. What is a scene you wrote that you are most proud of?

Most of my battle scenes. Those are tricky, took a long time, and I like how they turned out!

9. Is there one character that you refuse to write? why?

I can’t think of any hard no’s off the top of my head. There are probably some.

10. When you write fics, how much of canon are you willing to ignore/skip over?

If it’s a canon thing that I severely dislike, or if it’s canon that aired AFTER I started writing it. For example, If you lose your strength to stand was started after season 5 of Voltron came out. There was no way I’d just scrap the story I had in mind because season 6 decided to be hella weird, and eventually it became a fix-it of sorts?

Small things may be done away with if they’re inconvenient.

11. Do you prefer to be cold or hot when you write?

If those are my only two options, then cold, definitely. I’m a cranky, bitchy piece of shit when I’m hot. 

12. What is your ideal writing area?

Somewhere quiet and alone. I need to be able to groan in frustration and pace and mutter to myself in peace.

13. How do you come up with your titles?

I’ve started doing the thing where I steal song lyrics. Often I try to match it to a theme in the story.

ONCE, I had the title first, that was Smile the Brightest

14. How do you come up with chapter titles?

Usually I don’t. Sometimes I use song lyrics. Sometimes I try to think of a catchy phrase with minimal success.

15. At what point in writing a fic, do you decide to quit?

At the point when I’m tired of writing and think it’s good enough to post. I have a habit of posting first and proofreading later.

16. How much of your personal life do you put into fics?

Small aspects here and there. Mostly to do with emotional stuff. I have a few where there’s an autistic character or a depressed character, and with that I pour a lot of myself into it.

17. What is the most supportive comment you have gotten?

“I just want to say that you are an amazing writer. Not in a pervy way, although that smut was great, but just in the way you write. The comedy and little bits of dialogue made me laugh so many times, and you captured the relationships these characters had to eachother super well. A m a z i n g fic. Definitely write more.”

“Damn whenever you update the chapters, I just want to read more HAHAHHAJSJS thank you so much for writing!! I really love the emphasis you placed on each character’s developments and relationships as well as the real-time consequences of actions instead of like, y’know, making a big wrap-up to the show while it’s still tangled with unused storylines and character potential >:(( ahshdhjd but anyway, thank you so much for writing this and i hope you have a great everyday!”

There are some other very lovely ones but they have spoilers in them, soooo...

My favorites are when they say I did the characters really well.

18. What is the most negative comment you have gotten?

I haven’t gotten much in the way of negative comments. I’m very happy about this fact.

19. How do you handle negative comments?

I engage. I don’t recommend it as a solution.

20. What story that you have written makes you the happiest to re-read?

Hmm...I gotta go with If you lose your strength to stand. I’m really proud of it.

[actuallyvady]

Tagged by @ryanglitter, figure i might as well do the thing ♥

1. Do you make your bed?   

No, lol. Sometimes I’ll throw the blankets back into a semblance of made so the cat can sleep on the one she likes best.

2. What’s your favorite number? 

3 is the biggest, most important one-- I love the number 3 and any number divisible by 3, and I have since I was young enough to know what the number 3 was but not yet old enough to develop memories I would keep so I have no idea why. But it extends at least somewhat to geometric designs as well-- I tend to prefer symmetry based on odd numbers and like... there’s a triangle in the middle of my giant back tattoo. 

I am also quite fond of 13, because it’s my birthday and because I turned 13 on a friday. It helps that it has a 3 in it.

And I quite like the number 17, for reasons I cannot explain. I am drawn to it, and find it... soothing? That’s not quite right. Grounding, perhaps. 

3. What’s your job? 

I cut rectangles of fabric all day. Sometimes I have to stick rectangles together to make bigger ones.

4. If you could, would you go back to school?  

... that depends on what “if you could” means. I could! I could literally enroll anywhere I liked tomorrow, my parents would support me in doing that. But I already have tens of thousands of dollars of student loan debt and no degree to show for it, so I probably won’t. That said, if I suddenly found myself financially solvent to the point where there would be no loans and I didn’t have to worry about having a job with health insurance? Yeah, I might. 

I miss the fancy, nerdy engineering school I was at before my mental health problems made me flunk out. I am actually being treated for those now, and I would love to go back, and see if maybe I couldn’t be successful this time around. It was a lovely place and I felt at home there and hell, I even miss having math homework and tearing my hear out over physics problems. 

So yeah... if I “could” I would. 

5. Can you parallel park? 

Yeah. My first year at my first college I said fuck that noise to paying $300 for a parking pass and spent all semester using street parking even though I lived on campus. Now I drive a toy car with a tight turning radius and can fit into even the tiniest spaces, which means I am less afraid of street parking than most of my friends. It’s a pity I can’t be the one to drive when we go out somewhere-- the aforementioned “toy car” seats two, and the passenger will probably have difficulty getting in and out and therefore cannot have any, like, knee or back problems. 

6. A job you had which would surprise people?

I fell for a couple of MLM schemes when I was younger, one of which involved selling sex toys. 

7. Do you think aliens are real?

Yes, but I do not believe they have ever come here. 

8. Can you drive a manual car? 

Yes, but not well, and I prefer not to. That said, it is a little disappointing that my toy car is an automatic-- he’d be more fun as a manual. But he was the one I happened to find for sale when I needed a car and I love him... plus I can manually control which gear I am in for the first three gears, if I so choose; that is an option my toy car has.  

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? 

I do not feel guilty for the things I enjoy. 

10. Tattoos? I 

I have a giant phoenix on my whole back and a sprig of cherry blossoms on the inside of my right arm. I am currently considering three more, one of which will happen as soon as I am not spending all of every paycheck on kpop (so about a week after never, if things keep going the way they are)

11. Favorite color? 

I have always said it was green. I do not remember deciding that it was green; I declared green my favorite color before I was old enough to form memories that I would keep, much like my love for the number 3. I have childhood things that are green because it was my favorite color that I acquired very, very young. 

That said, I was reminded recently why green is my favorite color. 

On Monday night I went to the denver art museum to see an exhibit of claude monet’s work. I am quite fond of monet, so I took my time, standing and staring at some of the pieces long after the audio tour had told me to move on to the next room. And what I was most fond of was the fact that many of his pieces are so... life-like. They’re more real than photographs, because they not only capture a sense of movement, they seem to capture a feeling-- there were several where I just wanted to close my eyes and listen to the wind in the leaves and feel the sun on my face. Because looking at these paintings, I felt like I could.

Anyway, green is the color of dappled sunlight filtering through thick foliage and soft cool grass beneath bare feet and I adore it.

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? 

If I am posting a rant about something, I do not want you to offer solutions-- especially when those “solutions” are not helpful in any way. Unless I ask a question directly or request suggestions, please refrain from shoving your “expertise” in my face; chances are good I’ve already thought of what you are suggesting and figured out why it won’t work. 

That’s not an important one, it just annoys me so much.

13. Any Phobias? 

I’m getting better about spiders! I can deal with them existing in my space, now. Still freeze if I try to approach them to like rehome them outside but. 

14. Favorite childhood sport? 

There was a brief period of time where I played soccer at recess. Then I fractured my pinky when a ball hit it the wrong way and I stopped doing that. 

15. Do you talk to yourself? 

Mostly I act out the dialogue to whatever daydream or fanfiction I am currently playing with. (These days I am developing elaborate post-canon stories for the Untamed. No, I will not share them. They are very self-indulgent and kind of ridiculous, especially the longer I play with them.)

16. What movie do you adore? 

It just came up on facebook again yesterday so Jupiter Ascending is actually one of my favorite movies and no, I will not listen to arguments why I should not love it. 

There are others, of course, but.

17. Do you like doing puzzles?

Like... jigsaw puzzles or like... what? Because it really, really depends on what kind. Some I am more fond of than others. Generally speaking, as long as I am not under a time constraint, yes.

18. Favorite kind of music? 

These days? kpop. 

19. Tea or coffee? 

Yes. I drink both regularly.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? 

There was a winter olympics when I was about five and I clearly recall wanting to be a figure skater but thinking I was too old to start training. 

Not going to tag anyone, just thought it would be fun to answer. ♥

[ngfics]

Flower Watch - scene

...

Posts . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 . 23 . 24 . 25 . 26 . 27

...

In the end it was Emanuel who made the decision for them, they could debate and list pros and cons to both things, despairing over their children's lives.

It seemed to them that the only options they had were to either live in servitude and constant fear or to die free.

Choice might have seemed easy, but when one had a 16 year old son and 10 year old daughters to consider it became much more troubling.

Should they let their children make their own choices now? are their children informed enough to make choices without being influenced? or should they prolong their suffering so that their young daughters and their son would have a bit more time to decide for themselves?

"I don't think I can remain on the fence about this anymore." Emanuel finally spoke.

His sisters went of to bed half an hour ago, it was after dinner and his parents must have sensed he wanted to talk to them and stayed behind, watching him and exchanging glances, much like they did at his comment.

Lily knew her son well and could tell he was worried about his sisters, would they get the short end because of something he decided, something he chose? were they to be collateral damage?

With this knowledge Lily had put in place several fail-safes, such as Portkeys to her distant relatives in Australia or her half-cousin who lived in Japan. Portkeys were keyed into the three sitting here and depending on a large number of variables, such as their manner of death, distance from the Portkey and intent, they would go off and send the two young witches to a safe place.

It may not be a final solution, they might not be out of danger, but they will be out of immediate mortal peril.

"Do what you feel you must." she said, feeling guiltty over burdening him with such decisions. "There are measures made for your sisters' protection." she smiled lightly at his surprised look, obviously wondering if everybody could read him so easily.

Emanuel frowned and glanced at his father, who was desolately looking at the ground, should they speak more on this?

Emanuel knew about Legilimency and Occlumency, so there was a possibility that the information wouldn't be safe with him, or his mother, or father, who had to keep his mind partially open for the Dark Lord or risk death and suspicion.

His teeth clenched, should he be speaking of this in his fathers presence?

If Voldemort saw this, well, then the amount of danger they were in wouldn't be 'toeing the line', but actual immediate threat. It seemed wrong to mistrust his father, who was to him, an exceptionally kind man, but he was not ignorant of rumors and tales that described him as a monster.

He could imagine the pain and resignation on his fathers face should he stop talking now, it would hurt him immensely, even though he would understand.

Emanuel looked at his father’s face and decided.

"I will try not to incriminate myself right away," he pretended he couldn't see his father brighten. "try to stay behind the scenes support, but if it blows up like I think it will..." he trailed off and looked between both of them, unsure once again, but finished with a sigh.

"You know where you'll find me."

He could see both parents tense, but they did not look surprised, he supposed that they knew him too well to believe that he would keep his head down for long knowing his schoolmates were being tortured.

"On the other side of the battlefield."

.

Later when Lily and Augustus were alone all they did for a while was sit in silence on a sofa in front of the fire.

"He should have been a Gryffindor..." Augustus whispered, there was no resentment in his voice, just a statement, maybe even a hint of wistfulness.

"He asked the Hat to put him in Slytherin." she spoke a secret she had never told him before. "Gryffindor was the first option."

"Why didn't he want to go to Gryffindor?" Augustus couldn't remember saying anything derisive about the house, as he knew his son's life in the Snake Pit wouldn't be pleasant, not just because of blood status, but also demeanor.

To realize now that there was something his son feared to tell him, made the memory of Emanuel’s earlier trust, sour slightly.

"That silly boy," she murmured fondly. "he'd seen your hesitance about Slytherin and thought that you didn't think he was good enough."

"That wasn't the reason I was hesitant." Lily's husband was frowning now, displeased with himself. "I know, but an eleven year old boy doesn't." she took his hand and stroked her thumb over his fingers, over the many scars littering his hands.

He decided to let go of the subject, it was something to discuss with his son anyways, and focused on the discussion. Emanuel's plans and how they collided and intermingled with his own, he glanced at his wife, with their own.

She caught his train of thought quickly, familiarly. "You know what I'll do." and he certainly did, the moment anyone turned their wand on their son they would find themselves decapitated, no matter their allegiance.

Augustus knew well that this would come as a shock too many Death Eaters, who had by now long forgotten just how menacing Lily Rookwood was, to see the kindly mother and unwavering pillar of cool reasoning strike back like a bird of prey he knew her as.

"What will you do?" she asked without accusation, he knew that if she had to she would fight him, though he doubted either of them could kill the other, they would be aiming to immobilize.

He felt slightly sick that fighting her was even a possible response, such ingrained things, such subtle prejudice, was something he had been fighting for years and this time he would win.

"It seems my line is to end with Emanuel is it not?" he clenched her hand and she squeezed back in silent support. His words were good as any declaration, declaration would be dangerously obvious in his mind for any to read.

They understood each other quite clearly, they would die in freedom, rather than suffer in servitude.

Evan if that made them the last of the Rookwoods.

...

Fic Masterlist

...

[untapdtreasure]

TV Show Ask Game 1, 3, 5, 7, 9-29, and 31-49.

TV Show Ask Game

1. if you could reboot one TV show, which one would it be? Earth 2. But only if they could go back in time with the same cast at those ages. It was a brilliant concept that maybe just came ahead of its time.

3. have you ever quit a show before it finished? why? No. But I've wanted to. Once I start something I like to finish it.

5. what’s your comfort show? H20: Just Add Water. I seem to go back to it when I need something light and fun and that doesn't require a ton of thinking in order to enjoy it. I know it's an Australian teenage drama, but I absolutely adore it and the characters.

7. have you ever been inspired to start a new show based on gifs or memes it has produced? The Man From the High Castle and Westworld.

9. what’s one show you thought you’d hate but turned out to really enjoy? Family Guy. I usually don't care for shows with that kind of humor, but it has turned out to be a true gem and favorite of mine.

10. what’s one show you thought you’d love but turned out to really hate? Sons of Anarchy.

11. which TV show has the best musical soundtrack, in your opinion? Cold Case. And Supernatural.

12. have you ever watched a show just for a specific actor? did you enjoy it? I tried to watch Californication because of my love for David Duchovny. I didn't get past season one, and I haven't had the urge to continue it further.

13. what genre of TV show is your favourite? Science-Fiction.

14. do you tend to stick to one type of TV show (eg, short-form comedy), or are you into many different genres? I love a ton of different genres. I mean, sticking to one type is mega boring. And I'm not always in the mood for something funny or drama or sad or whatever. So I like to have options. Lots and lots of options.

15. do you feel like there are any overrated TV show formats? I'm not really sure what this means so I'm not going to comment.

16. do you feel like there are any underrated TV show formats? I'm not really sure what this means so I'm not going to comment. 

17. have you ever written fanfiction for a TV show? I started with CSI and The X-Files a long time ago (2004) and still write it today. So yeah. I've written fanfiction for a television show that I love. Several of them in fact. Fifteen years and still going strong.

18. have you ever drawn fanart for a show? I cannot draw to save my life. So the closest thing I've ever drawn for a show was stick figures for The Walking Dead for another ask meme. LOL.

19. are there any shows on your “to watch” list right now? Oh my heck! There are a ton of shows and movies that are on my list to watch at a later date. I even go through it sometimes and delete things that I've added in the past that I know I will never get around to watching. It drives my husband mad to see all the crap in there that never gets watched.

20. Netflix, Hulu, or Prime originals? I happen to like some of all of them, but my favorites just so happen to be Hulu ones. The Handmaid's Tale and Hollie Hobby!

21. if you could be a guest star on any show, which one would it be? The X-Files but that won't ever happen because I'm pretty sure that the show is likely done this time around. I hope anyway. LOL.

22. if you could write your own TV show, what would it be like? A complete disaster. It would be a feel-good show with characters that care more about others around them than anything else. So yeah! A complete disaster. I'll leave the writing to the professionals and stick to writing fanfiction because it's so much easier.

23. are you a fan of will-they-won’t-they plots? Yes, I am. Some of the best ships have come from just that scenario.

24. how do you feel about bottle episodes? I have a love/hate relationship with them. When I haven't seen a character or a couple of characters for a bit, they are fun to play catch up with them, but then I would rather every episode have a little of everyone than focus on one group or character solely.

25. do you prefer proper opening credits, or a simple title card? A simple title card is all that I need because I'm ready to watch the show. I know who stars in it. I don't need to see it every time.

26. favourite TV show theme song? Pretty Little Liars.

27. which actor do you think deserves an Emmy for their work on TV? Melissa McBride and Andrew Lincoln from The Walking Dead.

28. who would be your dream cameo on your favourite show? Kathryn Erbe in the Zombie Apocolypse would be an absolute dream come true! I'd love to see her play in a scene opposite Melissa McBride's Carol.

29. do you tend to quote TV shows a lot? have you ever started using a word/phrase because of a TV show? No, I don't usually quote anything from a TV show unless I'm talking to a fellow fan and we're discussing the show. And I can't think of a time that I've ever taken a phrase from a show/movie and used it in real life. OHHH! Yes, I have! There is a contestant on Survivor that says, "Oh my heck!" and I love that phrase now. LOL.

31. do you use subtitles while watching TV if you can? I will rewind a scene and turn them on if I'm confused about something that is being said, or I'm making a comic strip/photo or gif set where I need the exact quote.

32. what’s one show you could watch over and over? Earth 2, H20: Just Add Water, Mako Mermaids, etc. I could go on and on with some of my favorite feel-good shows.

33. would you be interested in trying a show in another language? I've tried to watch a new series on Netflix, but it just really takes me out of it when I have to read the words. I can't focus on the actions and scenery if I'm constantly having to read the dialogue.

34. what are your top 5 shows right now? The Walking Dead, Law & Order: SVU, Heartland, The Rookie, and 9-1-1.

35. who are your top 5 TV characters right now? Carol Peletier, Lt. Olivia Benson, Athena Grant, Howard 'Chimney' Han, Rookie Officer John Nolan

36. what TV character would you die for? Carol Peletier. But not really.

37. which TV show setting would you most like to visit? The Walking Dead.

38. do you prefer hour long episodes, or 30 minute? It really depends on the material. Sometimes thirty minutes is long enough to tell a complete story, but sometimes, you really need that full hour.

39. do you prefer 22 episode seasons, or 13? It really depends on the show and the story being told.

40. is there a show coming out soon that you’re really excited about? The sixth season of The 100. There is nothing new coming out that I'm that interested in.

41. if you could change 1 detail about any show, what would you change and why? I would change the way in which season four of The Walking Dead was executed so that it made better sense. I wouldn’t necessarily change the main plot points, but I would change how the story was told and would elaborate on whatever needed to be elaborated on so that it made more sense narratively speaking. I believe that certain things had to happen to get the payoff down the road, but the way in which it was written and executed was entirely bogus. Scott Gimple did not trust his audience at all. 

42. what’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever watched a show in one sitting? Five plus hours when binge watching ER with my Mom on the weekends.

43. what do you think is a good amount of seasons for a TV show? Six or Seven. But that depends on the show and material for the show. Some shows really can't be wrapped up in that time frame, but some that really should end on a good note. Justified is a wonderful show, but those in charge knew that it was time to let it go. But Supernatural doesn't seem to know that it should end already. The first five or six seasons were brilliant, but it got a little (or a lot) stupid after that.

44. if you could replace any actor on TV in playing their role, who would you like to play and why? I wouldn't want to replace anyone because I absolutely love and adore the people chosen to play their specific roles. I wouldn't want to mess with the chemistry of the cast for even one minute.

45. do you own any TV shows on DVD? I own several shows on DVD. Too many to list.

46. do you prefer to watch TV alone or with friends? Alone because if you watch with friends there is too much talking going on.

47. are there any shows you love but your friends aren’t interested in? Like almost everything. LOL. My tastes and theirs do not usually mesh. It's rare that we have overlapping interest in a show.

48. are there any shows your friends love but you aren’t interested in? Yes. Just about as many of my shows as their shows, honestly.

49. who are your favourite couples on TV? Well, most of them are really canon ships, but there is Carol & Daryl from The Walking Dead, Olivia Benson and Rafael Barba from SVU, Regina Mills and Robin of Locksley from Once Upon a Time, Mulder and Scully from The X-Files. There are several more, but I think those are plenty to list right now. I have an otps page if you'd like to see the ones that I love the most. Oh! Han & Leia from Star Wars.

[quxrtermaster]

Muse Interview Meme

Rules: Fill in the questions from your muse’s perspective as if they were being interviewed for an article. Tagged By: @st-riley-the-brave​ Tagging: @the-empires​ @flxbber​ @valleyfcrge​ @galahadfallen​ @raisedthishell​

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?: “Q.”

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?: “Q’s all you’re getting, I’m afraid.”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT?: “It stands for ‘Quartermaster.’  You can call me that too, if you’d prefer.”

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?: “Single - although I do have two cats.”

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES?: “Fast fingers, fast thinking, and a miraculous inability to ever properly sleep.  Yes, I think that’s all.”

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?: “Brown, as far as I know.”

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?: “Not yet.  I have considered it, from time to time.”

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?: "That’s classified.  Besides, the rest of Q-branch has become rather like my family, and I do enjoy working with them.”

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: “Two cats, and a plethora of double-oh agents.”

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.: “Bond’s excessive fixation with mission tech that is, quite frankly, obsolete.” 

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?: “Spare time doesn’t exactly exist for anyone working under M.”

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?: “Oh, I’m sure.”

13. HAVE YOU EVER…KILLED ANYONE?: “Most certainly.”

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?: “I am of the species Homo sapiens, believe it or not.”

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.: “Not being able to say ‘no,’ frankly, even when I should.  Even when I really, really should.  Bond.”

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE?: “In the literal or the metaphorical sense?”

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?: “I prefer men, although I do believe there are quite a few more options than the ones you gave me to choose from, so to speak.”

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?: “I did go to school in the past, yes, but those days are thankfully far behind me.”

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY?: “I’m not a huge fanatic of the idea, but I’m not overly adverse to it either.  Aren’t my cats enough of a handful?”

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS?: “Yes, several.  They’re reliable little desktop models that keep the air circulating like they’re supposed to.”

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?: “Cocking up.  Badly.  But then again, who isn’t?”

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?: “Clothes.”

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?: “You know, I’m not sure.”

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?: “And what does this pertain to, again?”

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?: “Hmm.  It depends on what your definition of the word ‘friend’ would be.”

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?: “It goes wonderfully along with tea.”

27. FAVORITE DRINK?: “Earl Grey, of course.”

28. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?: “My little flat.  It’s quite cozy, if you ignore all the cat hair.  Yes, I know I need to vacuum soon.”

29. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?: “Perhaps.”

30. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE?: “Isn’t this all a little personal?  In any case, in a strictly analytical sense, that’s rather relative.”

31. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?: “A lake.  I’ve never been very keen on the concept of rip currents.”

32. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’?: “Someone who can appreciate me for, well.  Me.  I’m aware that I live off of takeout and tea and that my apartment is a wreck, but I’d rather not have additional pressure to change my habits added onto my shoulders.  I already have to keep all of the double-ohs alive, simultaneously, and that’s taxing when they’re so hell-bent on trying to destroy everything and themselves in the process!”

33. ANY FETISHES?: “A few, but it’s not as if that’s reason for concern.”

34. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?: “I usually prefer to bottom, and as for the second, it depends.  Not that I ever have time for those sorts of frivolities nowadays.” 

35. CAMPING, OR INDOORS?: “Indoors, without a doubt.  Turing and Thompson are both indoor cats anyways.”

36. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER?: “Not particularly - I didn’t find it exceedingly unpleasant, not at all, even if some of the questions were a little surprising.”

[thehappilyeverafter]

5/17/2021

Re: 11/3/2020

deja vu

Since my last update about 6 and half months ago, another performance cycle occurred for the period between 11/20 to 04/21. This is the annual performance review where raises are distributed. Unlike the abridged performance review 6 months ago, this review was performed formally via Cornerstone and involved self, managerial, and peer feedback.

In my previous post, I stated that I “wasn’t as keen to to be promoted”, which was true at the time. However, leading up to this review cycle, I found myself trying and hoping to get promoted. Over the past couple weeks, I probably became a bit obsessed with the prospect. Throughout the past 6 months, I worked extra hard to resolve technically difficult issues like Factor Tag Data Service OOMKilled and Calculation Graph Framework memory overhead. I also led the LOD release. Although I found this project repetitive and boring (resolving all the comparison differences), I worked hard to push the release through to demonstrate ownership and to be able to book the accomplishment. I worked weekends and nights whenever necessary to ensure the success of the project. Although I didn’t spend too much time consciously acknowledging this until the review cycle had almost arrived, I devoted all this time, energy, and effort because deep down, I did want to be promoted this review cycle. After all, the first two cycles, I had only been at Addepar for less than a year so gunning for a promotion seemed a bit hasty. But now, I’d been at Addepar for about ~1.5 years (1 1/3 years in terms of the review cycle) and the time seemed ripe.

I had my review conversation with Kaichen earlier today (5 pm meeting), where I learned that I did earn a “4/Above the Bar” rating for this cycle, but would not be getting promoted. The situation played out very similarly to what had happened at 23andMe, where my direct manager (Phil/Kaichen) felt my performance was outstanding and merited a promotion, but leadership (VP Steve Lemon/VP Ruchir & (departed director) Trevor) felt that a promotion wasn’t appropriate for whatever reason(s). Another parallel would be that in both cases, my manager was young and relatively new in his role. Kaichen actually asked me about this w.r.t 23andMe (whether my manager was young/old) and actually reacted in a way that suggested he felt like this played a role (”Oh shit” when I confirmed Phil was young) e.g. maybe younger managers’ voices have less impact.

In terms of why leadership felt a promotion wasn’t appropriate, Kaichen said that following points were made during the calibration meeting and discussions with Trevor (who said it wasn’t appropriate prior). He also added in his own thoughts, so I’m not exactly sure what was explicitly said and what he inferred/guessed

- Years of experience. According to Trevor, IC4 at Addepar is even more senior than an L5 at Google. So 4 YOE (even though I actually have 4.5 or even 4 3/4) is too early.

- Impact. I don’t have enough cross-team impact. Kaichen mentioned he was able to counter this by saying that it’s not fair to expect a promotion candidate to be outstanding in every category, which, according to Kaichen, leadership appeared to accept. In another point, Ruchir mentioned that technically LOD wasn’t released yet. Kaichen concedes this point, although he also takes responsibility for this and acknowledges I did everything I could to ensure its release.

- Runway. I think this is one that Kaichen inferred. Basically, the idea is that leadership doesn’t want to hand out promotions too quickly because then there is less “runway” or career progression for the individual.

Reflection

During the meeting, I tried to given Kaichen the impression that I was disappointed, but not too disappointed and understood how these kinds of things can happen; my experience at 23andMe taught me that individual performance is only one of several factors that determines whether or not one gets promoted. Even when this is factor is satisfied, there are political reasons outside one’s control that can block a promotion. I even tried to ready myself for this exact possibility at the couple weeks leading up to this type of conversation.

But truth be told, I was pretty crushed internally. I didn’t realize how much hope/happiness that I had pinned on to getting a promotion until I received the unfortunate news. In retrospect, the severity of my disappointment is probably a consequence of my expectation that my high time/effort investments during the past 2 quarters would yield a promotion, which isn’t necessarily fair for me to do and probably a bit unhealthy. 

While I can understand the soft reasons for why I didn’t get a promotion, I don’t necessarily agree with them and feel slighted at the result:

- Years of experience. Trevor’s opinion that IC4 > L5 is just an opinion. Furthermore, I have nearly 5 YOE and there are many L5/5 YOE listings for Google on levels.fyi.

- Impact. Although it’s true LOD isn’t released yet, it’s on the cusp of release due in large part to my hard work. The project was a super long tail effort and using this as a reason to say a promotion isn’t merited is inconsistent with Addepar’s values to rewarding innovation. There were a lot of unknowns with this project that resulted in the long timeline. This is tantamount to punishing someone for taking on a high-complexity project.

- Runway. This reason is stupid and not really worth addressing. Petulant response: runway won’t even matter if an employee becomes disgruntled enough to leave before they run out of runway, which is the risk taken on when playing this kind of game.

Finally, I believe I am competent enough to take and deliver on IC4 tasks. And I believe I’m already working at that level. To not promote me for various political reasons out of my control is really disheartening. I invested a lot of time and energy because Kaichen told me Addepar rewards good performance. I felt that I held my end of the bargain up, but Addepar/leadership didn’t hold theirs. And overall, the experience is disincentivizing hard work. Why would I invest all my time and effort to earn an “above the bar” rating for the same outcome as an “at the bar” rating? 

Furthermore, Addepar’s compensation/promotion guidelines state that compensation for a role/level ranges from 0.8 to 1.2 of the midpoint and a manager should begin exploring promotions when an employee’s compa-ratio is between 1.07 -1.20. IC3 has midpoint of 180k for base salary and a max of 216k. With my salary of 207k, I have a compa-ratio of 1.15. This means in terms of range progression, I am ready for a promotion. And since I didn’t get a promotion, does that mean I will only see a cumulative raise of 5% until I get promoted? In this case, I really am disincentivized from working too hard, since I already received a 3.5% raise last year (i.e. inflation raise) after only 4 months at the company.

March Onward

Currently, it’s difficult to imagine that I will maintain the same level of work intensity. As stated above, I’m pretty disappointed, disheartened, and demotivated. I don’t feel like Addepar/leadership held up their side of the deal in rewarding and recognizing hard work and I don’t feel that there is much incentive/upside for me personally. Honestly, it’s hard for me to imagine getting back into the swing of things at all with these feelings so acute. I always thought it would be hard for me to leave Addepar because they pay well, but now I understand there are some situations that even a high salary can’t make up for. With these feelings so fresh, I would be willing to take a pay cut/explore other opportunities to take a stand against (perceived) unfairness. In truth, the main reason I’m not considering leaving is because I want to stay at the company for at least 2 years for resume reasons.

But I digress. Here’s what’s realistic for me moving forward:

- Work less and decrease the time/effort investment into Addepar. The timing works out with LOD almost released, because I had planned to stop investing so much time in work anyway after this was accomplished. To be more specific, I should ensure I only spend 8 hours a day on weekdays working. This will free up my nights and weekends to pursue side projects where I’ll be better rewarded for my efforts.

- Plan to stay (assuming the company is doing well and I can) for at least 7 more months (when I hit my 2 year mark). After that, depending on how the next review cycle goes, leaving is definitely an option.

- Kaichen mentioned speaking to Bob and/or Ruchir again about the promotion and “threatening them” a little. The idea is that although this follow-up conversation likely won’t change much, it will establish a precedent and make it harder for me to not be promoted during the next cycle. I think such a conversation would help assuage my feelings, although I don’t think I would want to rock the boat too much out of an abundance of caution.

[dcbrierton]

Indirectly tagged by @ellydash, and you should consider yourself tagged as well if you’re reading this!

1. Name/Nicknames: I mostly go by Al with friends these days. It’s hard to google me without substantial additional biographical information.

2. Gender:  this is a mess and I prefer not to think about it

3. Star Sign: Pisces. I don’t know what this says about me. 

4. Height: 5′0″.

5. Time: 1:42 pm ET

6. Birthday: February 25

7. Favourite Band: The Shondes! Maybe the only band on my most-listened-to playlist, depending on what constitutes a band.

8. Favourite Solo Artist: This one has more competition! Let’s say Rachel Ries.

9. Song Stuck in My Head: I have had several different songs stuck in my head during the process of reading other responses to this survey and also writing my own. What lasted longest so far: Broom of the Cowdenknowes.

10. Last Movie: Maybe The Princess and The Frog (2009)? I had a brief period of subscribing to Disney+ and was catching up on things I’d missed.

11. Last Show: Pose, which I’m watching with my husband ~once weekly over dinner, in a weird return to the broadcast schedule of my youth. (Mostly we have dinner with housemates; if not for that we’d blow through TV much faster.)

12. When I Created This Blog: 2014, I think?

13. What I Post: Not a lot, mostly fanfic and pretty pictures

14. Last Thing I Googled: drop spindles for a housemate’s 7th birthday

15. Other Blogs: one very dead sideblog and the only mostly dead @remembering-lgbtq-history

16. Do I get asks?: no, literally never

17. Why I Chose My URL: after a longer fandom RP name I was using for a bit, Dextra Constance Brierton. 

18. Following: under 100

19. Followers: under 100

20. Average Hours of Sleep: 7.6

21. Lucky Number: none

22. Instruments: piano is my best instrument, although you still don’t want to hear me play it!

23. What I Am Wearing: jeans and a hoodie

24. Dream Job: This concept is an interesting one for me. Like, isn’t the dream not to be living in a capitalist society where your job is your identity and also how you prove that you’re worthy of food, shelter, and other necessities of life? And also, like, I find it very hard to look at my past job history/life choices and believe there is some ideal future job out there that I would want to do... indefinitely? I see people doing that. I just can’t relate.

Which is not to say I don’t enjoy contributing productively to society, or spending a substantial portion of my day doing a relatively predictable thing I’m good at. Just...the way we structure our lives and thoughts around jobs and careers is confusing to me in some ways. Currently I’m a physical therapist assistant. I’m expecting I’ll keep doing that until I get bored of it, anyway.

25. Dream Trip: I’ve been longing to visit @vorsoisson. Ordinarily I do think about, like, ~travel~ kinds of trips, but this is all the wanderlust I can handle at the moment.

26. Favourite Food: I particularly love fried dough type foods, for example yeasted doughnuts, but also for example langos, a Hungarian street food that is savory fried dough with various toppings. (My favorite topping: salt and rubbing with a cut clove of garlic. Yes, it does then taste like garlic.)

 27. Nationality: American

28. Favourite Song: This one has far too much competition, I tried thinking of favorite songs in various categories and that failed as well. My most-played song on iTunes is apparently Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds, but there was a writing project I was doing at one point during which I would just listen to that one song on repeat...

29. Last Book I Read: To Be Taught, If Fortunate, by Becky Chambers. I checked my other library card and they had it on Overdrive. I was very happy! 

30. Top 3 fictional universes I would love to live in:

Becky Chambers’s Wayfarers series, specifically, the Exodus Fleet. 

In other space-related news, I have spent plenty of time wishing myself into the (non-Barrayar portions of the) Vorkosigan Saga universe.

I would also very much enjoy living the life of Morwen from the Enchanted Forest series. Magic powers optional, primarily I want a house in the woods but somehow still near all my friends.