#anyway second problem: while my shorts do fit somewhat. not as big as i like but im a big boy anyway so its whatever

[autism-corner]

autism-corner nation i need autism advice. help.

im going to an indoor waterpark. how tf can i avoid overstimulation? please suggest

[lightsovermonaco]

Speed and Stress: Part 2

Masterlist

Thank you to @acollectionofficsandshit for betaing, your comments on this one were unhinged gold 

Word Count: 3.1k

Recommended Vibes: “Perfect Day” by Tundra Beats

Part 1

Your brother was late. Not that anyone was surprised.

“Got the time mixed up,” he says as you climb into his absurdly tall truck. Living in Texas for three years had turned him into somewhat of a country boy, though not enough that he forgot his upbringing. He was still a blue blooded Los Angeles boy, just with a love for trucks and longhorn cattle.

“At least I wasn’t waiting for an hour this time,” you say and sling your bag to the backseat. Deciding to get right to the good stuff, you clasp  your hands together. “So! I have some news.”

Hunter grins at you. “You finally found a job?”

You roll your eyes and shoot him a pointed look. “No, dipshit. Better than that. I got us paddock passes for the whole weekend.”

“WHAT?” He jerks the wheel, horns honking at you as other drivers swerve. You grab the dash to steady yourself, laughing at his outburst. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get general admission tickets? How the hell did you get paddock passes?”

“May have met someone pretty high up at McLaren in Los Angeles,” you say, examining your nails.

“Like, Zak Brown? You met Zak Brown?” Hunter was such a fan boy, you had to laugh. His love for McLaren ran so deep he practically bled blue and orange. The only reason you watched the sport was because of him shoving it down your throat for years, but damn if you weren't glad for it.

“Daniel Ricciardo.”

Hunter choked on air but managed to stay in his lane this time. “And you waited until now to tell me?”

“I didn’t know it was him when I met him! He was on a motorcycle and I stopped to help film a tiktok and then-”

“Of course you’d stop,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You’re a sucker for bikes.”

“Yeah well, lucky that I am, cause all I had to do was flirt to get us those passes.”

Your intention had never been to take advantage of Daniel. It was more the opposite in fact; you were just living in the moment and capitalizing on the once in a lifetime opportunity to flirt with your celebrity crush. You had to admit, it turned out better than you'd ever thought it would.

“I can’t believe you seduced Daniel freakin’ Ricciardo,” he says, shaking his head. “You astound me.”

“I didn’t seduce him!” You protest.

"Sorry my bad. You charmed him. That sound better?"

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. I damn near had a heart attack when I figured out it was him but he was kind enough to let me brush it off."

"Well, thank god for your two-wheeled obsession because without it, we would be watching the prix from the nosebleeds."

You laugh and shake your head. Hunter tended to have a poor filter when he was excited and tended to spew whatever was on his mind. "Just watch your tongue this weekend, alright? I'd rather embarrass myself than have you do it for me."

Hunter gives a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."

**********

You'd stuffed five different outfits in your bag in preparation for the grand prix weekend. In theory, it shouldn't be hard to decide what to wear. But Friday morning you changed clothes so many times you lost count. No matter what combination you tried you weren't satisfied.

Finally, you give up and settle on a McLaren polo and denim shorts. Simple and comfortable, but form fitting enough to catch Daniel's eye should you run into him.

You knew you shouldn't, but you pull out your phone to text him anyway.

Thanks again for the tickets. Let me know if you've got any free time so I can properly thank you!

You hit send before your brain has the chance to overanalyze the message. You check your phone obsessively the entire drive to the circuit, only half expecting a response. You tuck your phone in your pocket when you get to the gates, determined not to let it get to you. Daniel warned you he would be busy, and you knew that responding to you was likely on the low end of his list of priorities.

Hunter gets you to the circuit a half hour before they let fans in and you have to listen to him ramble about driver stats the entire time. Normally you don't mind; guessing who's most likely to win each Sunday is something of a competition in your household. But today, you couldn't focus enough to put any thought into your prediction, instead just blurting Daniel's name.

"You're only saying that cause he's into you," Hunter says, grinning savagely. "He struggles in Austin and you know it."

"So? He's in a McLaren this year. You saw his pace in Bahrain, and that was with a damaged floor! He'll podium for sure." You cross your arms and return his grin. "Besides, he's motivated."

"Oh, is he?"

"I told him I'd buy the winner of the United States grand prix a drink. Up to him whether it's him or Verstappen."

"Oh my god you have a date with Daniel Ricciardo?"

"Dude, chill out. It's not set in stone. Honestly, he's probably forgotten that I exist."

"Has he texted you?"

You glance down at your phone and are greeted with an empty inbox. "No. Not after the initial time so I could have his number." You shrug and pick an invisible piece of lint from your arm. "But he said he'd be too busy anyway."

"Guess we'll see once we get to will call, huh? If he's forgotten about you."

"Yeah." An odd feeling rolls through you. It feels a bit like nerves mixed with hope, but you stamp down on it. You were here to enjoy yourself. The trip of a lifetime had been handed to you on a golden platter and you were wont to let something as trivial as nervousness ruin it.

Bells chime as you step into the blissfully cool will call office. A blonde woman with a bit too much blush dusted on her cheeks greets you with a smile. 

"What can I do for you?"

"Picking up some tickets that were left for me by a driver?" You try, unsure of the proper procedure. "I don't have a paper or anything."

She waves a hand in the air as if she expected as much. "All I need is your identification. They should be under the name."

"Oh uh, of course." You motion for Hunter to hand over your wallet and show the woman your driver's license.

"Great. Wait here and I'll grab those for you."

You drum your fingers on the desk while waiting for her to return. After what feels like ages she re-emerges empty handed.

"I'm not seeing anything here with your name on it," she says, her plastic smile at odds with her sincerity. "I'm afraid your tickets aren't valid until Sunday."

"Can you double check? Daniel said they'd be here-"

"So sorry. There's no record of anyone dropping tickets off for you."

You blink, holding your tongue in the face of her blunt response. "Okay. I guess ill try and get it sorted out."

Hunter breaks the tension. "Can't you call him?"

"I can't just call him, I'm sure he's busy."

"Either that or we don't get in. Just do it, he gave you his number and specifically told you to let him know if there were any problems, didn't he?"

Yes he had, but that didn't mean you wanted to disturb him. He was probably knees deep in some sort of race weekend press conference or drivers meeting and heaven forbid you interrupt.  But it was either that or you slink home disappointed and empty handed.

"Fine," you grumble, pulling out your phone with deliberate slowness. Hunter crosses his arms and tips his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well?"

"It's dialing, you good for nothing busybody-"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to call," Daniel answers, voice radiating sunshine.

You cut right to the chase, not giving yourself a single second to evaluate how your heart skips. "Look, I don't wanna distract you on a race weekend but I'm at will call and they're telling me they can't find any passes left for me."

"Let me guess," he starts, raising his voice to be heard over the pneumatic tools in the background, "You're dealing with Jenny?"

Your eyes fall to the name on the woman's lanyard. She shifts under your gaze like she knew exactly who you were on the phone with. "Yep. Spot on."

"Kinda figured she would be a problem. She's got a huge crush on me and does this every time."

You fight back the strange sensation his offhand comment brings to the surface. "Oh, really?"

"I'll be right there. Give me ten minutes or so."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Hey, no big deal. I gotta go that way anyway."

"Uh, okay. See you soon?"

"Yup. On my way."

You hang up and stare down at the phone, stunned.

"Well?" Hunter asks.

"I guess he's coming here to sort it out himself."

He blinks rapidly and shakes his head. "Hold on. Are you telling me that I get to meet Daniel? Like right now?"

"Can you relax?" You laugh lightly. "Honestly you're gonna freak him out."

"Uh, yeah sure. No big deal, just meeting one of my favorite drivers in the minus five minutes and I'm completely unprepared. It's fine."

If you roll your eyes any harder they'd pop out of your head. "Relax. He's laid back, but I don't want you to freak out and embarrass us both."

"Excuse me," Jenny breaks in, her distaste clear. "Please move aside if you're not picking up passes."

"Er, yeah. Sorry." You shuffle awkwardly off to the side to wait. Cheesy elevator music plays and Jenny shoots you glares until the door squeaks open and the human incarnation of the sun steps inside. Your breathing stutters when the Australian shoots you a wink and a grin before sauntering up to the counter.

"Why hello there Jen," he says, and she giggles coyly. 

"Hi Daniel." She lays a hand on his forearm, the touch light and flirty. "What can I help you with?"

Daniel leans into her, whispering conspiratorially. Whatever he says has her bold smile faltering, replaced by a mask of professional cheer. Daniel shoots you another wink as the woman retreats to a back room, returning moments later with your supposedly missing passes.

"Thank you," Daniel says sweetly, taking them from her and turning to you. "I think these are yours."

"Thanks." You take the passes and hand one off to your awestruck brother. You nudge him and he comes to his senses in time to shake the hand Daniel sticks out.

"You must be the brother," he says. "I see you're a fan."

Dressed head to toe in McLaren colors, there was no other conclusion for Daniel to draw. For once your brother is the one stunned into silence so you answer for him, "Yeah, only a little. He was crushed when you left Red Bull cause Max is his other favorite driver and now he has to split his loyalties between teams."

Dan's laugh snaps Hunter out of his trance. "I know you're busy but do you think you can sign something for me?"

"Of course. How about this?" Daniel snatches the hat from Hunter's head and produces a sharpie from his pocket, signing the brim with practiced efficiency. 

"He'll be texting the group chat about that as soon as you're gone," you tell Daniel who laughs along with you.

Heat rises to your cheeks as Daniel's assessing gaze sweeps you from head to toe. "McLaren orange looks good on you."

Channeling his easy confidence you flash him a grin. "Not as good as it looks on you."

He smooths the hem of his soft shell jacket, smile turning bashful. "Anyway. I gotta run. See you Sunday after I win!"

Your eyes follow him as he jogs back through the paddock until he's swallowed by the crowd. You sigh, shifting your weight from foot to foot. God, he was gorgeous. And he had such a big heart. It was a shame someone hadn't snatched him up yet, but then again, that meant you still had a shot, even if it was a slim one.

"So where exactly do these get us?" Hunter toys with the lanyard now placed around his neck. "It doesn't say."

"I'm guessing the McLaren lounge," you say and point to the logo on the passes. "Above the garage."

"That's the perfect vantage point for practice."

And it was the perfect view- before getting in the car Daniel walked out into the pit, suited up in his cobalt racesuit and minty helmet and glanced up. You weren't sure if he saw you or not when you waved but he gave a little salute nonetheless.

Hunter was practically glued to the bank of floor to ceiling windows for the entirety of free practice, immersing himself in the experience. You found yourself glancing at the timing tables every lap, silently hoping to see the RIC tag move up. By the end of the second session he had been fourth fastest, a few tenths behind both Mercedes and the Red Bull of Verstappen. 

By the time you make it back to Hunter's house, you're both exhausted from a full day of running up and down the paddock. The pair of you had been determined to soak up every second of it, sneaking into whatever offices you could and stealing bites off the buffets and cups of coffee. 

Saturday’s free practice and qualifying session pass in a blur of color. Daniel drags his McLaren up the ranks to qualify fourth, his best starting position so far this season. He had a decent shot at the podium- Bottas should be easy pickings and if Verstappen and Hamilton made any mistakes, Daniel might even have a shot at the win.

The excitement in the air is palpable as you both flash your badges and head back up the now familiar path to the McLaren lounge. An hour before lights out, the v6 engines rumble to life below. You venture out onto the balcony, watching and waiting for a glimpse of Daniel.

The Aussie does you one better by walking out, race suit on and helmet in hand. He chats animatedly with Michael before stopping and craning his neck upwards. Michael nudges him with his elbow but Dan ignores him, answering your tiny wave with a wink. He mimes taking a drink and you roll your eyes.

Dan throws his head back and laughs, audible over the cacophony below. He gives you one final salute before Michael drags him back into the garage.

Ten minutes later cars begin streaming out on track, Daniel taking the fourth grid place as his mechanics once again swarm him. Tire blankets are secured, keeping them warm and pliable ahead of the formation lap. Thirty seconds before the boys are released, they're peeled back off as everyone scrambles off the pavement. Verstappen leads them away down the 3.4 mile track for the formation lap. Dan does a few small power slides before taking his place on the second row.

One by one, the red lights illuminate and disappear quicker than your blink. Daniel gets away clean while Bottas stumbles out of the gate, leaving himself wide open for Daniel's overtake on his right side. Cheers erupt around you, your brother going so far as to lift you off your feet.

Maybe Dan had a shot at winning after all.

A nail-biting 38 laps pass without a change in the order of the top three. Finally, a mistake in Max's pit stop sees him return to track third, just behind Daniel. The McLaren driver puts up the fight of his life, late braking at every corner and defending his position for all he was worth. Lewis was twenty seconds ahead- he wouldn't be winning but he could defend his second place spot.

Lewis Hamilton, race winner for the seventh time at the Circuit of the Americas!

Daniel Ricciardo crosses the line second, Max Verstappen takes home that last podium step for Red Bull. An astonishing fifty six laps here today in Austin!

The box erupts around you, a roar of cheers making it impossible to hear what else Crofty and Brundle were saying. But it didn't matter as Daniel raises his fist when he swings back into parc ferme, jumping out to be congratulated by his team. It was his first podium for the papaya team and you can tell it means the world to them.

"Looks like you're taking Lewis out for a drink," your brother teases. "Told you he wouldn't win."

"He almost won," you counter. "But hey, I'm not above asking Lewis on a date. Could you imagine? I mean, he would never agree, but still. It would be a hell of a date."

If you crane your neck from the balcony, you can just barely see the podium. Everyone goes quiet for the anthems and erupts again when the champagne is sprayed. The McLaren team chant for a shoey, which Daniel obliges. He sits to unlace his mint green boot and pours champagne into it, drinking from the boot before passing it to Max who joins in on the fun. 

Just as quickly as it began, the celebrations ebb. Daniel is the first to leave the podium which seems odd, given that the PR department surely wants his first big win for the team to be well documented.

Your phone buzzes a second layer. You fish it out of your pocket, a Cheshire grin splitting your face.

"Shouldn't you be busy celebrating?"

"I am," Dan starts, sounding breathless. You can barely hear him over the sound of the crowds chants behind him. "But I want to celebrate with you. I know I didn't win, but how about you let me buy you a drink instead?"

You barely hear anything beyond his first sentence. I want to celebrate with you. Were you dreaming? There was no way this was real.

"Um, I'm sorry, you want to celebrate by going out with me instead of your team?"

"If you'll let me. Hey- just text me okay? I can barely hear you over everyone screaming my name. It may be going to my head."

You laugh, drawing the attention of the vip's nearest you. You give an apologetic smile and move further from the crowd. "I'll text you an address. See you later, second place."

[writingforyuh]

Hi! How are you? First of all, I would like to tell you that my native language is not English, so I hope you can understand if I make a mistake writing this :( so, what I came here for is to request a Bucky Barnes x Male reader where the reader has the power of Mystique from x-men, I guess you know who I'm talking about haha, maybe it can be about the first time they met, they can be partners or enemies, I don't know, I trust you'll do something good, thanks for read xoxo

a/n: so... the first thing i want to say its sorry; you, my dear anon, gave me a damn good idea, but it is so good, soo goooood, that i think that i didn't something on the deserved level. But anyways, i hope you like it, this one was a bit complicated to do, so it may be not so good. Also, from now on, in my stories, i will be naming our reader(you). 'Cause for me, it's strange not to use a name or nickname sometimes, and i'll not use y/n or relateds, not that i don't like, i read a lot of fics with y/n, it's just that i don't want to use. On this one, i used Mystique's name, Raven. I also discovered that i can't center the txt when it's a reply like this one. I'm wheeping fandom: marvel/captain america/the falcon and the winter soldier too(?) words: 1.880 words/10.311 characters warnings: idk shapeshifting?, a tad fluff in the end, fight

Bucky Barnes x Male!Mystique!Reader

"The way you are"

As you walk away through the sidewalk, you shapeshift into a black woman, your blue skin turning brown, your yellow eyes turning green, your body changing to fit the appearance you want. In a mere second, the transformation it's done. Your clothes and ravenous hair are the only things that stay the same. You are going to a Japanese restaurant to pay a visit to a friend. Honestly, it's not exactly a restaurant, but you quite like the place. It's the only one place you feel secure enough to turn into something close to what you look. Though today you will be going with another look. Arriving at the place, which luckily wasn't so crowded today, you take a seat, waiting for your friend, who is the attendant, Leah. She is the only one who knows about your power and actual appearance. It was a dangerous decision to tell her about it, although you don't regret doing it. When she looks at you, you blink, so she knows that it's you. Before going to you, she passes on the kitchen and takes a plate full of sushi and other things and offers to you, on the house. You accept though you insisted on paying for all that. Leah ever treats you like you are special or something. You'll never admit that you like it despite all the refuses. She makes you feel... normal.

"So, how was the investigation today?" Leah asks, closing the distance through the counter You sigh, trying to hide things of Leah it's almost impossible, "Well, from what I discovered, the guy I'm after, that Ruin, works alone. I paid a visit to his former workmate-," "You paid a visit?" she interrupts you. "I... may or may not have invaded his house and gently asked about his old friend?" "Gently asked?" Leah raises an eyebrow for you, "Well, and then?" "Then, he said that he never heard that name or anything related for almost two years. What proves my theory that Ruin is working alone," you explain. "That's good," she states, surprised, "and you have an idea of where it's his hideout?" "Actually, no. But I heard some strange things about that famous club on the south that links with my guy," you explain, showing her a photo of the place on the phone. "That's Noapte Senina. You never heard about it?" "Why would I-" you stop yourself when Leah frantically passes his palm like cutting close to her neck.

The person who entered the establishment sits on the chair near you, and he isn't alone. Yuri is with him. The elderly sit on the chair next to the guy. Your friend walks away to serve customers, not before winking at you. As she goes, you gaze at that strange man: short brown hair, blue eyes, a bulky body, and a leather glove on the left hand. You never saw that guy here, yet he and Yuri seem good friends. In the middle of it, your eyes encounter his. A slight smile is now on his lips, one that makes your face burn a bit. You look away, regretting that eye contact. It's undeniable that he's handsome.

"You should ask her out," you almost choke with one sushi when Yuri said that.

Though you could shapeshift your body and everything that it covers, you still a man. However, the problem is not that he is a guy, but that he doesn't know that you are also one.

He says something to Yuri before turning to you, "I'm sorry for him, I... uh, you can call me Bucky." "Don't worry about it," you clear your throat, recovering your composure, "I'm Raven." "It's a... good name," he tries a compliment. That takes a chuckle of you, "Well, thanks. Bucky's not a bad name too." This time he let a giggle out, and damn... what a smile.

You two stay chatting for a while. Bucky is an unusual person, and come on! The man is so damn handsome, and being honest, you wanted to have more time with him, but you couldn't, you shouldn't.

"I need to go. But, it was nice to meet you, Bucky," you smile at him. At first, Bucky's expression seems to upsets, but as fast it seems, his serious countenance comes back, "It was… nice to meet you too." As you get up, you blink for Leah. She covertly nods to you. "Oh, look, wait!" It's Bucky's voice who's at you, "I... wanna know... ahm, we... if we maybe could see each other again?" You feel a twinge in your heart, and still, that doesn't stop you from doing what is necessary, for the sake of both, "I think that this won't."

...

It's late-night already. You didn't tell Leah about what you were planning to do tonight. You are with that same appearance as before, but now wearing a crop top with jogger pants, the most normal, the better. You read those big and bright letters: Noapte Senina. The place's full. There's loud music that's echoing the whole space. People everywhere, dancing, drinking, or just vibing along with the rhythm. You take a seat on the counter and ask for something not too strong to drink. While waiting, you run your eyes through the crowd of strangers, searching for your prey. The barman man brings your drink. You silently thank him with a nod. Taking a sip, you feel something that tastes like strawberry. It's better than you thought. You take another sup before trying another time to search for your target. Leaning against a wall with two women under his arms, a man probably in his mid-40s with an eye patch, "There you are..." you murmur. In a single gulp, you finish your drink. On your feet, pretending that you are dancing, you swiftly pass through the people on the way. Then out of nowhere, someone suddenly appears in front of you. You don't have time to figure a way of dodging, so you bump in.

"Ouch, I'm sorry. I didn't see you-" your voice fades when seeing in who you bumped in, "B-Bucky?!" "Raven?" his eyes widens. "I-I... what are you doing here?!" "I am... trying out this "club" thing," the brunette rubs the back of his neck, "but, well, I thought that we wouldn't see each other again." His word makes you redden, "This is only a co-coincidence, bu-but yet, I'm still doing something important, and if you excuse me," you say, walking over him. "Please wait," he grabs your wrist, "I-" "Bucky, let me go, now!" you demand. "Please just hear me!"

Even a plea won't work. You slide your hand through his glove, freeing yourself.

"Dammit! Raven!" he shouts.

You only ignore, walking away from him. Probably it's a good idea to shape into a different appearance, but there are too many people here that could notice. You take a deep breath and shale your shake your head before looking for Ruin again...

"FUCK!" you curse.

The man isn't in the same place as before. Frantically searching for him, your eyes catch a glimpse of his face. He entered the toilet, the male one. As you walk to the same as his, you lower your head. With your present look - a feminine one - someone could think something strange, but come on! It's the 21st century! Do people still care about these types of things? As you enter, it's evident that there's only one door closed. You look one last time to the entrance, confirming that no one is coming. You are ready to kick the Ruin's door on.

"Wait! Raven!" Bucky screams.

The brunette's eyes widen when the door collides with you, pinning you into the wall.

"Ohoho, so I really was being spied! I thought that Ramirez was only being a coward when he said that someone was hunting me, but look what we have here! You two are from the FBI?" Ruin asks. His voice's heavy, somewhat matching with him. Bucky doesn't say anything but rushes on the man, eyes on fire. He aims a left jab at the other's face. Ruin evades, kneeing the abdomen of the brunette, which throws him backward.

"HA! That's all you've-"

Before he can finish, you, recovered from the earlier impact, swing your body upwards, then scissors your legs around the Ruin's head, spins around his body, and rotate your legs downwards, take downing him. His head hits the ground directly, passing him out. With the rest of your energy, you handcuff him. A trembled gasp escapes of you.

"Wow..." Bucky's notably amazed by what you did. "Why did you follow me?!" you scream in your knees, panting, "Why did I follow you? Why you came after this man? You knew that he's a dangerous criminal?" He shouts back. "That's exactly why I came after him! That's what I do!" "What? You are a vigilant?" his mocking tone enrages you. "What if I-" An enormous pain progresses throughout your whole body. You passed too much time transformed. "Raven? What happened?" He lifts himself, running to your side, "Sam! I need support here, Now!"

You need to go back to your natural form, but how would you do that now? You force your body the best you can to maintain your shape.

Bucky puts you in his arms, "Raven, what's happening?!" desperation on his voice.

You tried your best to preclude that. However, you needed to do that. Your body slowly regains its blue color. Your eyes recover their yellow tone. The only thing that stays the same it's your ravenous hair and clothes. Simple as that.

"I'm... sorry..." you slowly say.

Bucky's eyes widen. The only thing you can do is think how disgusted he would be to see your pure form, how he would feel cheated by you. It wouldn't be a surprise for you. But that won't happen. You only feel Bucky's arms around you, hugging you tight.

"Please... don't scare me out this way..." his voice muffled in your neck. That puts you in a mess of red, "What... are you... do-" "I don't know too... I just... wanna hold you..." he intermits, "On the moment I saw you, I felt something strange and I-" This time you cut him off, pushing yourself away from the embrace, "Bucky, I'm strange! I'm fucking blue! I'm not even a woman! I'm a damn aberration, and I fucking tricked you!" your voice burning your throat. "You are saying that you are different and that you are a man? So what? I'm also a man and have a vibranium arm," he takes his left glove, showing his vibranium hand. "C'mon, Bucky... this'... completely different," you lowered your eyes, you couldn't look at his now.

Bucky has a strange power over you. How someone you barely know can mess with you this way?

"It's not. I don't care about your color or anything. I... think I like you... the way you are," one of the brunette's hand in on your wrist again, but this time it's a gentle and soft touch. the other lifts your face, so he could look in your eyes.

Bucky's now in a blush too. There's a grin on his face. For the first time in years, he feels that something good may happen in his life, and it is you.

[kenmasgameboy]

chapter 18: my girlfriend.

previous…next

masterlist

kuroo tetsurou came into y/n’s life when she needed him to fuck it up the most.

a/n: this chapter is an intense one, i put the trigger warnings that i could think of below. if i ever miss anything please feel free to send me a dm or an ask, i’m also always looking forward to your guys’ comments and asks, please don’t forget that i always read them. i want this to be a safe place for everyone :)

trigger warning: bullying, cursing/vulgar language, and violence (smacking, stepping and spitting). anxiety.

╭⋟─────────────────────╮

Your book is dripping wet, the pages turned to a fragile paste and falling apart at the touch. Your hair was wet, buckets of water had been prepared just for you. In your honor, four older girls had decided to go out of their way to prepare a bucket of water to dump all over your head.

“What did we tell you?” Their leader, Yui, kicked you in the stomach. “I thought we were very clear yesterday that you cannot talk to Kuroo-san.”

“And then you walked home with him!” One of the other girls spoke, but at this point their voices meshed together in your head. You tried staring at a paint chip on the ground to try and keep your cool.

I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry.

Your face was pulled off the rough pavement to face Yui’s face by your hair. The beautiful girl holds a fistfuls of your hair and you can get a good look at her this way. She really was gorgeous, she had long hair that was dyed a beautiful blond. You could hardly tell her bright blue contacts weren’t real since they fit into her soft features so well. Her makeup was nothing short of flawless, blending perfectly into her skin that made her look effortlessly beautiful. She looked like an idol, an angel in stood front of you, it was a striking contrast to her harsh words she’s given you over the last week.

“And now he posted about you, too! I told you that Kuroo-kun was mine. I should’ve said something weeks ago when I saw him talk to you here.” Yui stomped her foot, “Don’t you dare lie either, I saw him at your shoe locker this morning.”

“I’m not going to lie.” You said, your voice coming out much quieter than you thought. It was cold outside, and your clothes were wet. You didn’t even want to think about your white shirt.

“Good girl.” Yui smiled, “Now let’s talk about arrangements. Since you obviously didn’t listen yesterday. And I’m what they’d call Kuroo-kun’s guardian angel. I’ve always protected him from skanky bitches like you, who aren’t interested in Kuroo-kun for anything beyond what he can do for you. It’s not my first time, and it won’t be my last either. I love Kuroo-kun more than any of you and I’ve been at this a lot longer than you.”

What the hell is wrong with you?

You were cursing at her in your head, every bit of anger poured from your veins and forced you to clench your fist. This girl was pissing you off to no end, nobody was around at this point. Your fear of shyness being easily overwhelmed by the anger of being controlled.

A part of you selfishly wished that Inuoka or Kuroo would enter this scene right now and intervene. But they couldn’t fix this for you. They weren’t always going to be with you. And you weren’t someone who was going to be smacked around by these girls anymore. This girl must’ve been the one that started those rumors about you that forced Kuroo to intervene for you. You didn’t want anyone to have to do that for you.

“Kuroo-san would never like a girl like you.” You said. You would be proud to know your face never wavered as you spoke. Your voice had only a slight shake, the only tell being the shakes of your hand. Every word granted you a half ounce more of confidence.

“Do you want to say that again, dog?” She stepped on your hand with her foot, all her spite being aimed at you.

“What? I told you I wasn’t going to lie.” You kept your face plain. She spit in it and threw you down. You wiped the disgusting vile away with the back of your hand.

“Keep talking! See what happens.” This was a bet you’re willing to take.

“You’re a very pretty girl. But you’re mean, petty, vengeful, controlling and most of all an idiot if you think I can control how Kuroo-san feels. It’s not my fault he likes me. And if you really liked him, you should want him to be happy, but instead you try to block him off from anything that’d do that.” You said it all while she hardly listened, yawning as you spoke. 

“Are you done?” She asked, you groaned in response. God she was so annoying.

She smacked you.

“You’re going to act like you know him after a few weeks? I’ve been in love with him for three years. He always has doted on me before you got here, he tutored me, gave me parts of his lunch, and he even gave me his jacket when I forgot my umbrella. Every third year girl knows that he’s mine. He’s too mature for younger girls like you, especially ones with their head in the clouds and nose in a book. You don’t even interact with anyone! What’s so good about you! Nothing! So don’t you dare try to act like you’re better than me!” She said her own speech, ending it with pushing her foot down on your thigh. Your knee scratching against the pavement.

“Kuroo-san isn’t a thing you can own..” It was taking everything in you not to cry, you’ve always had a hard time when people yell at you. But the part of you that wanted to defy authority was still winning at the moment.

“God! You’re so annoying. Just listen to me and break up with him so he can love me already! I’m tired of waiting!” Yui was yelling, you were starting to hear voices in the windows behind you crowding over. Your eyes drifted down, your shirt was totally see-through. This was so embarrassing.

You put your arms over your chest to protect yourself. You scolded yourself for not bringing out your jacket.

“No.” You said, strong and out-front.

“I think this is the most this girl has ever spoken..” 

“Normally she’s such a crybaby..”

You heard everything anyone was saying around you. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore. None of those people knew you.

“You insolent little bitch–”

“Oh? Big word there, did that make you feel like an adult? You read that one in a book?” You were completely unfiltered at this point. None of it mattered to you. Your clothes were wet, your hair was frazzled, your knees scraped and your face spit on. If there was one thing you could do to protect yourself it was your mouth. You had to.

“Shut up! Be thankful your senpai hasn’t ruined your life. Just let him go! You don’t even like him!” She was really fuming, there may as well be smoke coming out of her ears. “I can tell you’re scared, just agree so we can finish this.”

“That’s not true.” You said, your face blushing as the first sign of emotion this whole time.

“Oh, look, she’s blushing.”

“She’s actually so cute.”

“Gah! I hate you!” Yui raises her hand again, the only interruption being the heavy metal door to the courtyard being opened. 

“Stop, stop! Yui, what the fuck are you doing!?” Kuroo, the man of the hour, ran into the courtyard and immediately stripping his blazer off. 

“Kuroo-kun! I’m so glad your here, she was being so mean to us! I was just–” It was Yui’s turn to panic. Her voice quivered as she quickly mustered up tears to fake.

“You think I’m going to believe that when she looks like this?” Kuroo quickly wrapped you in his blazer, the large fabric covering you. His warmth flew threw you as he helped you to your feet and held you into his chest protectively. Your cold skin stealing Kuroo’s warmth. You hadn’t really realized how cold you were.

“I heard you had a volleyball meeting today–”

“After school. Even if I did, did you think I wouldn’t come running after I hear about my girlfriend getting bullied?” Kuroo said, his hand wrapping around your head. Your face was hidden, but he could feel you gasp for breath. The emotions you had been trying to hid getting lost in his chest, your stiff fingers gripped the fabric of his sweater vest. Kuroo’s large palm straightened them against his chest, warming them. “God, she’s freezing.”

“Girlfriend?” Yui was really crying now.

“Yes. Y/N is my girlfriend, and if anyone has a problem with this from now on bring that to me.” Kuroo’s deep voice boomed through the courtyard, it was a warning.

“You can’t be serious! It’s only been a few weeks, you’ll just drop her anyways in a few days right?” Yui had never been caught by Kuroo before, whenever a new girl would try to get close to Kuroo he’d never really minded if they lost touch after a few days. But you were someone he sought out, and tried so hard to figure out, he would never let it go that easy.

“Even if it did, you have no right to do any of this. But I’ll be with Y/N as long as she lets me, because I have deep feelings for her. I don’t expect you to understand but neither of us would ever throw the other away so easily as you’re saying. So leave us the fuck alone.” You had never seen him so angry before. But still he was so delicate to you, lowering his head to your ear to whisper a soft: “Are you ok? You did awesome, but this is over now. Let’s get you to the infirmary.”

“I’m sorry.” You said, but it was muffled by his shirt. His chest was so warm and firm, it made you somewhat sad to lose the warmth when he pulled away for only a second.

“Yui, I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings. If I had known you’d feel that way, I would’ve been able to end this sooner. But don’t worry, I won’t be going out of my way for you in the future to avoid any misunderstandings.... I’m going to take her to the infirmary, and I’m telling the nurse everything that happened here.” Kuroo held a strong frame, you winced when you took a step. 

Your knee stung from the blood running down your leg. Kuroo didn’t want you to be here any longer than you needed to be, so he latched his palms under your knee and threw your arm over his shoulder. Bridal style he held you in his arms, girls squealed behind you. Your face practically being glued to his shoulder to hide your embarrassment.

The moment you were back inside you felt warmer. You squeezed him tighter to yourself. You were so afraid, allowing yourself to so easily be weak in front of him.

“W–wait.. Kuroo..” You were letting tears fall. He rolled you in his arms to better hold you there. Your hair smelled like a morning rainfall, you were so cold.

“Not yet. We’re not alone.” He said.

The rest of the time you spent in his arms was silent. And when he got you to the infirmary he was ushered to go back to his class since the bell rang.

“Please, she’s my girlfriend. Can I please stay with her?” You could hear him beg the nurse on the otherside of the curtain from where you were changing out of your wet clothes.

It made you smile, you didn’t know a title like this would make you smile. He never asked you, but he sure got comfortable with it really fast. Maybe it wasn’t real though, you tried to slow your heart beat from beating out of your chest at the thought.

“I’m sorry but school comes first. You can come see her later. She’ll be fine.” The nurse assured him. You peaked your head out from behind the curtain.

“Thank you.” You mouthed it to him and it seemed he understood.

Kuroo didn’t seem pleased, but he still nodded. He bowed to the nurse quickly before exiting. Once on the other side of the door he looked at his hands, his sleeves were still wet from where he held you in his arms. He was chilly from losing his blazer that was now with you. The view he had of the top of your head being forcibly pushed into his chest. His chest still tingled from the imprint of your face.

“Kuroo Tetsuro, you’re awful for thinking like this..” he scolded himself. He just had to pull you out of a situation that he caused, it was because of him that they were bullying you. He needed to apologize properly, but his mind couldn’t help but melt at how close you were to him. How it seemed you invited him to be closer. This 6’3” boy reduced to a crumbled, blushing mess as he squatted next to the infirmary door.

Girlfriend.

Wait.

“She’s my girlfriend....” Kuroo remembered saying that in front of everyone, “Did I... say that out loud?..”

Both his hands were used to smack himself. His face didn’t react from the shock, eyes still wide with two hand prints leftover on his cheeks. He didn’t even ask you to be his girlfriend! What had gotten into him! Even in the heat of the moment, he should have taken at least one second to ask and then ask properly later. No, that would’ve looked suspicious. How rude of him to ignore your feelings like that and announce it in front of everyone without your permission.

I’ve been so good at asking her for everything up until now. What if she’s scared of me again? No, if she wants me to I’ll start at stage 1... Maybe Yamamoto was right, I really am a simp for her..

He thought, a small smile still on his face. He was okay with that. You were so strong out there. He only caught a few moments but watching you talk back all on your own was inspiring. You could defend yourself, any normal person would’ve let it go but Yui was a different breed that Kuroo knew too well. Watching you speak so boldly was a treasure that would live in his mind, the last domino of hearing your voice say “That’s not true.” to protext your feelings for him. But that was all he was able to catch of the conversation since he couldn’t stand there knowing that your hand wasn’t shaking from the cold.

Does she really have feelings for me? Is it true? If I would’ve asked.. would she have.. his thoughts stopped abruptly as he looked to his right at the infirmary where you stayed. What were you thinking right now? Were the thoughts you had as embarrassing as his? An image of you popped in his head, probably not. His chest was so tight and warm and the thought. He can’t think like this in the situation you’re in. He should’ve tried to stay in there longer, but maybe any longer and he would’ve burst.

He looked back at his arms, the ones he held you in. The water has dried now, ang trace that you were in them was gone. He really missed that feeling. If it were up to him right now, you’d never walk again so you could always stay in his arms.

Girlfriend..

He’d have to apologize later for overstepping his boundaries and explain later but... he’d never apologize about how it felt far too natural to say.

╰─────────────────────⋞╯

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+ to be added please send an ASK.

[chuckaf]

Chuck Fic Rec List: Updated

So my fic rec post was in my notifs again the other day, and I noticed a while back that the formatting on the post has gotten all messed up and it’s also had like three reblog additions to it anyway meaning there are three versions out there lol. so, I wanted to do another list of chuck fic recs! I’ll keep the other one up still, so I’m not gonna repeat every fic here, just some I really recommend. I’m also adding the fic summaries, which I didn’t on the old post, and some more of my own opinions so, buckle up for a long post!

Chuck Versus the Steampunk Chronicles | Steampunk.Chuckster

1896. A world powered by steam, where humans and machines coexist, and airships are the fashionable mode of transport. The US Empire's deepest and darkest secrets arrive at Chuck Bartowski's doorstep. Have they fallen into the wrong hands? Or will the inventor prove his mettle, even while he's forced to hide from the very people he's protecting? AU, ongoing chronicle, Charah.

A genuinely incredible AU story, with an entire crafted world and universe, so detailed it frequently blows my mind. There is heart and family and infuriatingly brilliant slow-burn, plus a buttload of danger and super fun historical/steampunk action. Oh how I LOVE it.

Chuck vs the Charade | somedeepmystery

When computer nerd Chuck Bartowski returns home to an empty apartment and a dead girlfriend he finds himself embroiled in a deadly game of espionage and deceit. Everyone around him is playing a part to get what they want and when he starts falling for the new woman in his life, he can't help but wonder if he can trust her or if she's the one he should fear the most.

An action and twist-filled AU based on the movie Charade, which is just such a brilliant fic concept I absolutely adored it from the start.

Two Sides of the Same Coin | dettiot

When you're a spy, there's all kinds of occupational hazards when you work with another spy. For Sarah Walker, though, one mission becomes a life-changing experience. Because working with Charles Carmichael leads to protecting Chuck Bartowski.

The first time I read this fic my mind was just blown to its genius. Such a brilliant interpretation of what the Intersect and its concepts set up in the show could be, and ooooof the Chuck/Sarah interactions, my HEART. Related to it, its companion piece:

A Flip of the Coin | dettiot

What made Charles Carmichael agree to become Chuck Bartowski? Well, to start, it wasn't as much of a change as you'd think. A companion to the early chapters of Two Sides of the Same Coin from Carmichael's perspective.

Chuck vs The Butterfly Effect | n7agentbartowski

Chuck Bartowski is a normal guy who just hit rock bottom. No girlfriend, no career and no super computer stuck inside his head. It isn't until Chuck meets a gorgeous stranger on the beach that he begins to think his life is about to change for the better. An AU Chuck fic without the Intersect. "Change one thing and it changes everything."

I said it on the OG post, but this story has one of my top 5 Chuck/Sarah fic meetings. So funny, so... very Chuck. The story is a little angsty overall, but a great read.

Chuck vs the Rogue Spy | Crumby

When a rogue spy from Chuck Bartowski's past shows up to help him during his first solo mission, Chuck hopes that he'll finally find out what happened to Sarah Walker. Post-S2 AU.

There’s a lot of Season 3 fix-it fics out there, which I don’t usually read bc I actually love season 3 lol, but this one’s a good one! A twisty deviation from canon, but still feels really true to character.

Chuck Versus the Nerds Rewrite | Steampunk.Chuckster and David Carner

What happens when two nerds talk endless hours about their favorite TV show? A new take on the show you know, but with the flair, twists, and turns you've come to expect from Steampunk . Chuckster and david . carner. Somewhat canon. Charah.

As the summary says, a different take on the show, which honestly makes a couple changes I would too, but also adds a bunch of fun twists and plots that make it totally new and fresh. Seeing Chuck and Sarah’s thoughts in the more canon sections is just delicious, too.

The Trapped Assassin | SarahsSupplyCloset

After a mission goes awry, the CIA's most lethal assassin is ordered to take vacation while her superiors figure out what to do with her. But when she meets a disarming tourist, their immediate connection only adds to her disillusionment with the agency and her career. Will he be enough for her to finally take the plunge and leave the only life she's ever known? Charah AU

A warning for the very justified M rating if you don’t like that sort of thing, but this is definitely a plot-heavy fic, too. A really neat Sarah-heavy AU, with a whole lotta Chuck/Sarah fancy French vacationy goodness.

Chuck vs the Second Chance | malamoo

AU from mid-season 2 and onwards. Chuck and Sarah part ways only to be reunited years later. COMPLETE.

Literal, crying-at-my-screen angst. Not even a super happy ending. But a brilliantly written, part-reflective/flashback fic, exploring what would’ve happened if Chuck and Sarah’s relationship really was an assignment all along-- and the aftermath. It’s heartbreaking. But if you want a little heartbreak, this is your fic.

Ready at Your Hand | dettiot

In the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, a Catholic plot against the queen comes to the attention of spymaster Sir Francis Walsingham. To protect Elizabeth, he develops an unusual plan: hide the passing of intelligence between two agents by a false romance. When Lady Sarah Walker and Chuck Carmichael meet, though, their pretend flirtation becomes much more.

I love Chuck fic for the very reason that it’s inspired such adventurous and totally unique AUs. Here’s some Elizabethan fake-dating Chuck and Sarah! They have to be so Proper, it’s like that hand moment from Pride and Prejudice but Elizabethan and times a billion. The pining!!

Sarah Versus Getting Married | Steampunk.Chuckster

Sarah Walker is getting married. Canon. Charah.

I’d recommend all of SC’s fics if I had the room, and I’m already recommending a ton sksks but most of my fic recs are AUs, and this one isn’t! It’s canon, and covers some of in the gap in 4x24, with Sarah just before the wedding itself. Super sweet, heart-tugging, brilliant.

A Chuckmas Carol | Mikki13

A new twist to Dickens' beloved "A Christmas Carol". When Sarah begins to shut out the world around her, three spirits come to show her the error of her ways. Season 3 AU.

Another Season 3 AU, this one written pre-series so it definitely doesn’t fit to canon, but it’s still wonderfully rich in character depth and angst and it also made me cry. Plus, festive!

Chuck Versus Thin Ice | Steampunk.Chuckster

On the doorstep of the Olympics, top American curler Sarah Walker has lost her mixed doubles partner and her boyfriend in one fell swoop. Her coaches throw newbie Team U.S.A. curler Chuck Bartowski onto her team and thrust them into the Olympics, hanging America's curling hopes on two people who only have a short amount of time to learn to trust one another. Charah AU.

Do you like curling? Or the Winter Olympics? It doesn’t really matter because somehow this fic made me extremely invested in both of those things, as well as Chuck and Sarah and them being INSUFFERABLE. Catch me now knowing a ton about curling thanks to this fic.

Walker’s Eleven | Moonlight Pilot

Not the same plot as the movie. Sarah Walker never got out of the con game or became a spy, and now she's on her final con. What happens when true love and betrayal get added to the mix? Twists, turns, and Jeffster!

Con!Sarah always interests me, and this fic is full of her. Lotta con plot, lotta Chuck and Sarah.

The Detective and the Tech Guy | thecharleses

Sarah Walker is a Pinkerton detective. Chuck Bartowski is an electronics genius. They wouldn't have met except for a case of mistaken identity and murder. Will the detective and the tech guy solve the mystery, distracted by the riddle in their own hearts? An homage to The Thin Man film series. Formerly co-written by Steampunk . Chuckster and dettiot, now ONLY Steampunk . Chuckster.

Everyone in this fic is so damn cool. There are so many martinis. But also great heart and family and like, standing up for who you love, and later also Chuck with Baby Clara content which frankly the show robbed us of. Also, PI!Sarah!!!

Gravity | Poetic4U

AU. Sarah makes a decision that altered her life forever.

This is just a one-shot, which many of these stories are not, so a good one if you don’t fancy a big read! Just because it’s short, though, doesn’t mean it’s lacking; a really awesome what-if AU, and heavy on the Chuck and Sarah.

A Yuletie Tale | Steampunk.Chuckster

Sarah Walker was dumped the day before Christmas Eve, and her Plus One at her work’s annual Christmas Eve Soiree is now officially a Plus Zero. Her best friend Ellie Bartowski has a solution to her problem, and Sarah finds she isn’t quite as sure about it as Ellie is. AU Christmas Charah.

I’m particularly in love with this fic because, instead of beginning with a meet-cute, it involves Chuck and Sarah already two years into a friendship-- Sarah is Ellie’s best friend. And she’s been crushing harrrd on Ellie’s brother. Also Chuck is in a tux. It’s pretty.

Set, Spike, Dive! | Frea O’Scanlin

Chuck never expected to even make it to the Olympics. Everything is working against him: he's too tall for a diver, too inexperienced for a medal, too much of a wildcard to really make his mark. But an unexpected meeting at the airport, some intriguing new friends, and a whirlwind romance on the sand just might set up London 2012 as the time of Chuck Bartowski's life.

A London 2012 AU, because why not. This is just a fun Olympic-y ride!

OTP (One True Pairing) Prompts | David Carner

A series of Prompts I found online about different times and places in Chuck and Sarah's life. Mostly AU, mostly one-shots. I assume mostly fluff, but I might get deep. I doubt it, it's me. Charah...ALWAYS (It says complete, but if an idea strikes me...)

If you’re not so into long stories, this fic is perfect. Individual set-ups and stories, all Chuck and Sarah, and all super cute. You could dip in and out and just pick a scenario you enjoy.

Chuck vs The Frontier | ninjaVanish

AU: Chuck was enjoying a simple life as a 19th century watchmaker until an encounter with a beautiful Secret Service agent thrust him into a world of intrigue and adventure he never wanted. But then, with Agent Walker around, it can't be all bad, can it?

This fic gets props for being historically-set but still including the Intersect. Again, a historical AU, so the pining!! the need to be Proper!!! But besides all that, there’s a lot of action fun as well.

Chuck Versus The Crosswalk: Remastered | WvonB

Will a last minute mission help our two favorite characters finally get together? This is the remastered version of my first story.

The original version of this fic is on my first list; this is the updated version! It’s not a complete AU, instead a story that diverges from canon, so if you’re more into canon characters and setting than a new AU scenario, this is a great fic for that.

Little Girls, Paper Wreaths, and Choc Chip Cookies | DanaPAH

Very AU: Sarah Walker is a single mother whose Christmas spirit needs a boost after a tough divorce. She isn't quite ready to go looking for romance, but her little daughter's affection for their new neighbor may lure it right to her doorstep, anyway.

An incredibly sweet AU one-shot where Chuck and Sarah are new neighbours, and Sarah has a super cute little girl. So much sweetness and love and hope. I love this fic so much it literally led me to write my own neighbour-kid-AU, so, not to toot my own horn but I’ll link it here anyway.

May Your Walls Know Joy | halfachance

Looking for a fresh start after some tough times, Sarah and her three-year-old daughter move to LA. When they meet a sweet curly-haired nerd who lives next door, though, Sarah realizes they might just find more happiness than they'd ever imagined, if only her past doesn't catch up to her first. AU.

It’s what the summary says; if you wanna read, feel free!

Chuck vs the Sound of Music | quistie64

AU. Chuck, nerd extraordinaire, is a man with seven children and Sarah must protect them all from Fulcrum's evil designs. Warning: there will be singing.

I mean. Not much mystery as to the concept with that title and summary lol, but this is a super fun, soft ride with a lotta sweetness, and yes, singing.

Just Two People | David Carner

Meet Sarah Walker PhD, Psychologist, specializing in personality traits. Meet Chuck Bartowski, man who has left THE electronic company of 2020. When Burton Consultants tries to figure out what is wrong with the morale of Orion Industries, what happens when a guy named Chuck meets a woman named Sarah. I'll give you a hint, it's me writing.

David’s done something pretty special with this fic. It’s Chuck and Sarah centric, but very much an ensemble piece, too, with a lot of Team Bartowski and other familiar faces throughout.

Chuck Versus the Con Game | Steampunk.Chuckster

AU. Chuck and Sarah are partners in the con game. It's an existence wrought with danger and violence. Every day could be their last. Every mission could be the end of the line.

This is where I freak out SC and declare this fic the reason I ever got hooked on Chuck fic and then wrote Chuck fic, and the reason I still love it today but. that is true lol. Just so. so good. It’s also written with the chapters out of chronological order, which is super fun from a reading perspective. But con!Sarah AND con!Chuck?? Best. The kind of fic you will be thinking about for days (if not, y’know, years).

As you can tell by the repeats, I highly recommend just about anything by Steampunk.Chuckster, dettiot, or David Carner, but there are a TON of amazing Chuck fics and authors out there. I’ve never known a writing community so wildly creative-- there are so many unique AUs and canon explorations and story concepts that this show has manifested, and it’s all so much fun.

Most of the Chuck fic community is still over on FFN rather than AO3, so if any of these whet your appetite, feel free to have a browse there for more stories. I’m sure you’ll find something great. Personally, all the incredible writing there has also led me to write a buttload; I’m at halfachance on FFN, so if you see any of my stuff or wanna chat fic, feel free to message me there or here.

Happy reading, folks!

[floralprintsharks]

Prompt fill #5 for @dimension20alphabet:

Escape

[part two to this]

Usually it goes like this:

 The Bad Kids eat lunch together in the cafeteria and otherwise Fabian doesn’t talk much to any of them over the course of his day. It’s not like he’s actively ignoring them, but he’s more on the side of the popular kids. The cool guys. The jocks.

 Meanwhile, the others—well, maybe except for Fig—don’t exactly fit the bill.

 Sure, Fabian would die for any of them, but somehow the social structures at school still feel restrictive in a way that gives him a hard time moving against them.

 Now though, now the unthinkable has happened.

 The Ball is ignoring him.

 Well, not as much as ignoring Fabian as he’s actively fleeing from him the second Fabian comes into view. At first Fabian thought that The Ball had just forgotten something in his locker when he turned around and ran—ran—in the opposite direction of Fabian.

 But it happens again during the first break and Riz is not at their usual table when Fabian joins the others for lunch.

 Everyone is looking at him.

 “What?”, he asks.

 His mood was bad all weekend. After the ridiculous dare he received on Theo’s party The Ball was nowhere to be seen. Both Adaine and Theo—Theo of all people, as if he was The Ball’s friend—followed him out of the room while everyone continued to stare at Fabian accusingly.

 Even Gorgug looked somewhat perturbed, like it was Fabian’s fault that a room full of people had chanted about him kissing The Ball. That hadn’t been his idea!

 “Hey man, you know, you could’ve said ‘no’ without making it sound like, you know, Riz was like, a slimy ghoul or whatever”, Ragh had said to him quietly.

 As far as Fabian knows, Theo and The Ball had ended up making out in one of the empty rooms or behind the house. Those pictures in his head didn’t lead to his weekend getting any better either.

 He trained way too much with his mother. He ate so many kippers that Cathilda asked him if he was feeling alright—which he wasn’t, but he couldn’t exactly explain why. He went for a run three times on Sunday and was still feeling on edge about everything that had happened.

 In the end he crashed on his bed with sore muscles and a scene of The Ball and Theo kissing playing on repeat in his mind that followed him into his dreams.

 And now his friends were looking at him as if he had personally murderer The Ball. With his bare hands. For fun.

 “Did you talk to Riz?”, Adaine wants to know.

 “No.”

 Silence answers him and he looks around the table.

 “What? He saw me in the hallway, turned around and ran away!”, Fabian exclaims angrily. His face is getting hot. He hates all this emotional bullshit and almost wishes he could just go back to being his father’s darling boy instead of his own man, because somehow that seemed way easier.

 “Oh no. Poor Riz”, Kristen says and Fabian almost loses his shit right there.

 Why is it ‘poor Riz’? Why is no one acknowledging what a shit weekend he had? And how fucking dumb that dare was? And how it’s offensive to consider that Riz and Theo made out behind the house while Fabian was being stared at like someone who strangles puppies? And also, he fucking hates it to be ignored.

 He is Fabian Aramais Seacaster.

 He refuses to be ignored!

 “Did you try to text him to apologize?”, Gorgug asks.

 Fabian stares at him.

 “For what?”

 “I mean. You know, because. He looked pretty hurt and like. Isn’t he your best friend?”, Gorgug says quietly and Fabian feels like someone has dropped an iron weight into his stomach.

 “I mean, I guess we’re friends, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that, you know—best friends is maybe a little—“

 A voice in his head whispers “Why would you say that, isn’t that a lie?” but Fabian doesn’t get to listen to it as Fig lowers her fork and looks past Fabian at someone right behind him.

 “Oh, no”, Gorgug says very quietly and Kristen gets up halfway from her chair which leads Fabian to turn around just to be faced with The Ball’s very pale and very unhappy face. For a split second Fabian has the opportunity to notice that Riz looks as if he hasn’t slept or eaten for the past two days, but then he notices Fabian looking at him and escapes immediately.

 “Okay, Fabian, I know talking about your feelings is super fucking hard and everything, but get a grip, man”, Fig snaps at him.

 “My feelings are perfectly fine, thank you”, Fabian grits through his teeth but he doesn’t touch the rest of his food and instead spends the rest of his lunch break cursing the universe for having The Ball turn up right at that moment when Fabian announced that them being best friends might be a bit of a stretch.

 Fabian never really had a best friend before.

 Fuck if he knows what that’s even supposed to mean.

 Riz always just went ahead and announced it to the whole world after they’d barely known each other for a week and back then it had been completely ludicrous.

 Now, though.

 Fabian doesn’t know.

 He might have announced that toxic masculinity is dead, but the truth is that it’s still hard dealing with all this emotional bullshit when no one ever really taught him how it works. And he’ll rather be shot than admit that. At least for now.

 It was hard enough to deal with the fact that he never really did anything on his own and was nothing but a pale shadow of his father, but now that he managed to work through that, everything else was still as difficult as before.

 And who the fuck are you supposed to talk to about these things?

 His father is a madman flying a dead dragon through hell.

 His mother heats up whole cantaloupes in hot pans, because she doesn’t even know how to cook some fucking scrambled eggs.

 Cathilda would probably know a thing or two about this stuff, but Fabian has yet to fully grow into the whole Cathilda-is-basically-his-surrogate-mother-and-not-just-his-maid-thing.

 And how is he going to explain this whole mess anyway?

 “Hey Cathilda, I went to this party and someone told me to kiss The Ball and I was like ‘No, that’s ridiculous’ and now everyone is acting like I’m a complete asshole and The Ball doesn’t talk to me anymore, which is quite frankly offensive, because he always says that I’m his fucking best friend.”

 Even to Fabian that sounds ridiculous. And it doesn’t take into account his obsessive thoughts about Theo and Riz kissing or how The Ball might have overheard Fabian saying that they’re not best friends. And his bloodshot eyes with dark shadows under them. And his pale green face with all those freckles.

 And...

 Fabian decides that school can suck his dick on this terrible Monday and he leaves the Aguefort Academy directly after lunch break instead of going to his fighter class.

 It’s not like he needs it, anyway.

 He could probably wipe the floor with his teacher at this point.

 On his way home he receives multiple text messages from his friends.

 “Hey Fabian, where are you? Are you okay?”, from Gorgug.

 “Just text him”, from Adaine.

 “Maybe Jawbone can help you out, he’s really good at this relationship stuff”, from Kristen.

 Relationship stuff?

 What relationship stuff?

 The Ball is not his boyfriend.

 Fabian laughs as he passes a mother with her two kids and she looks slightly concerned about his well being and tugs her children further down the sidewalk.

 What if The Ball wants Theo to be his boyfriend?

 Fabian stops in the middle of the road and stares at his phone. He doesn’t want to talk to Jawbone. Sure, Jawbone is cool and everything. But talking to Jawbone feels too much like admitting that he might have a serious problem, more so than if he maybe just talks to one of his friends.

 For a split second Fabian thinks that wants to talk to Riz until he remembers that that’s not possible right now.

 Because Riz doesn’t talk to him. And also Riz wouldn’t want to talk about anything related to kissing or—or—

 Fabian stuffs his crystal back into his pocket and turns a corner that leads him towards Mordred Manor instead of home.

 Ragh is outside in the vast garden of the manor, wearing a straw hat and some shorts and nothing else while he waters some plants.

 “Hey, what’s up, bro?”, he calls over to Fabian, turns the hose and hits Fabian square in the chest with a jet of cold water. It only takes a few seconds until he’s completely drenched.

 Ragh laughs loudly while he turns off the water and throws the hose down into the grass.

 “You good, man?”, Ragh asks as he walks over to him. Fabian feels like on any other day he might have simply punched Ragh in the face for getting his expensive sneakers wet, but today it just seems like maybe he deserved a shower of cold water.

 “Um—yeah. No. I don’t really know”, he says and his voice reminds him of the time when the whole Leviathan debacle went down. He clears his throat and wipes some water out of his face. “Do you—uh. Have some time to talk?”

 “Sure, dude. Let’s find a spot with a little more shade.”

 Fabian hates the feeling of water in his shoes, so he takes them off and follows Ragh through the garden and into the shade under a big maple tree.

 “What’s up, dude?”, Ragh asks and throws himself down into the ground, pulls the straw hat off his head and leans against the thick trunk of the tree. Fabian sits down cross-legged and puts his sneakers to the side.

 “So—uh”, he starts and then closes his mouth immediately because he hasn’t actually thought this through at all. Ragh looks at him curiously and Fabian wonders if there is a good and nonchalant way to ask the things he wants to ask. Instead of acting cool and composed how he wants to, what comes out of his mouth is:

 “Do you think The Ball and Theo made out?”

 There is a beat of silence in which Fabian considers just getting up and running out of the garden and into traffic. This was not what he is supposed to ask.

 This is not—

 “Dude”, Ragh says and he leans forward to look at Fabian. “You look like you’re about to puke, man.”

 Fabian doesn’t feel great. His chest feels like someone installed iron clasps around it and is pulling his ribs tight and his stomach is doing some acrobatics that it’s absolutely not supposed to do.

 Why did he ask this?

 And what if Ragh says yes?

 Why the fuck does it even bother him?

 The Ball can kiss whoever the fuck he wants!

 “I’m—sure. Fine. Yeah. It’s all—uh. Fine.”

 “Yeah, dude, no offense, but like, it doesn’t look particularly fine to me. So—what you’re asking me is. If Riz and Theo got it going after that whole Truth or Dare thing?”

 Fabian takes a deep breath, which seems particular hard for some reason. This is ridiculous.

 He’s Fabian Aramais Seacaster. He knows how to fucking breathe.

 “I—guess?”

 “Hm”, Ragh says and leans back again. “Not sure if that’s my story to tell, bro. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sorry you feel like shit, but, like. Isn’t that something you should talk to Riz about?”

 Fabian thinks that, if one other person tells him to talk to The Ball, he might actually commit cold blooded murder.

 “Great suggestion, seeing as to how he keeps running away from me like he’s afraid I’m going to breathe fire at him any second”, he growls and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Ragh sighs and cocks his head from side to the other.

 “Would it like, bother you if they actually had made out?”

 Fabian wants to snort and say “No”. What comes out instead is a garbled noise as his brain is bombarded with pictures about Riz and Theo kissing.

 “Woah, dude, okay”, Ragh says and he looks alarmed. “Breathe, man.”

 Fabian can do that. Breathing is really easy, except that it’s not.

 “Okay, dude, Imma just say it now, okay? It’s like ripping a band-aid off!”, Ragh says loudly, grips Fabian’s shoulders and stares at him very intently. “I think you’re totally into Riz.”

 Fabian’s brain feels like it’s suffering from a bad case of frostbite. His thoughts turn sluggish as he tries to process what Ragh just said, but it doesn’t make any sense. Fabian is not into The Ball. He’s not in love with Riz. That is insane.

 “Okay, so, hear me out, bro. Remember how I was totally in love with Dayne? And it took me like a million years to like, get that? Feels pretty similar to what’s happening with you right now, right? Because we’re like, these manly dudes and we’re supposed to be into hot girls and all that stuff, right? So it doesn’t really fit the picture, but it’s totally fine, dude. It’s all good. You can be in love with Riz.”

 Fabian blinks at him. He can hear the words and he can feel the corners of his mouth turn upwards as if to try to form into a grin.

 “Don’t be insane, Ragh. I’m not—That’s—“

 “It bothers you when he’s with other people because you’re fucking jealous, dude. I’ve been there, okay? And it’s like this weird thing of—you’re not allowed to be jealous because that’s fucking weird, right? Because that’s like, your best bro and everything. But then you keep obsessing about him making out with other people and then it’s like, okay, but what if he kissed me and then you feel really fucking bad, right? Because you’re brain shouldn’t go there?”

 For the very first time Fabian imagines what would have happened if he, instead of saying “No, that’s ridiculous”, had actually kissed The Ball.

 He thinks about Riz’ sharp teeth and how he keeps chewing on his bottom lip when he’s nervous and the second Fabian’s brain arrives at Riz’ bottom lip it feels like there is a dam inside his brain breaking.

 He imagines grabbing Riz and pulling him into his lap, pressing his lips against his and hearing Riz make a choked noise against his lips—

 “What the actual fuck.”

 Ragh lets go of his shoulders and nods.

 “Yeah, dude. Intense, right?”

 “But—why?”

 Ragh shrugs and rubs the back of his head with one of his hands. Somehow the cold water drenching Fabian’s clothing feels like a blessing now because his skin seems to be on fire.

 Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck—

 “Because, dude.”

 “But like—what the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”

 “I mean. Sounds to me like you should totally kiss your Ball, bro.”

 Fabian’s stomach does multiple somersaults.

 “But he’s not—into that kind of stuff.”

 Ragh chuckles.

 “Dude, I love Riz, I really do, but I feel like now that you figured this part of the whole deal out I can just tell you, that like. Riz doesn’t want to make out with Theo or pretty much anyone, right? Which is totally fine, bro, don’t get me wrong. But also, like. I’m a hundred percent certain that he would totally kiss you, man.”

 Fabian’s first response is “Of course he does, why shouldn’t he” but then his brain catches up and his skin starts to tingle.

 Maybe this is why kissing Aelwyn for the second time wasn’t really working out. Maybe this is what Aelwyn meant when she said “Well, I suppose we’re not a good match after all”.

 “Riz... wants to kiss me?”

 Ragh nods and grins.

 “Yeah, dude.”

 “Okay. Well—uh. I have to go.”

 “Don’t forget your shoes!”, Ragh shouts after him but Fabian doesn’t give a rat’s ass about his shoes as he takes off.

 Maybe he can unpack all of this shit later. Maybe he should actually talk to Jawbone. Maybe this is going to be yet another thing that makes him different from his father and as soon as he has some time to think it through he can maybe arrive at the conclusion that that isn’t a bad thing.

 At some point he stops running because he actually has no idea where Riz is. Is he still at school? At home? At his damn office? Fabian pulls out his crystal and hastily types a message to Riz.

 “Where are you???? We need to kiss!”

 He deletes the last word and types “talk” instead. Fabian watches with his breath held as three dots appear on his screen very shortly before they disappear again. He waits in the middle of the street, no shoes on, dripping wet. People passing him by look as though they’re concerned for his mental state but Fabian couldn’t care less.

 Maybe now is not the time to be manly about his feelings if he actually wants to fucking kiss his damn best friend.

 “I need to talk to my best friend”, he types.

 The dots reappear immediately.

 “at the office”

 Fabian stuffs the crystal back into his pocket, considers calling the Hangman to drive him over there but then decides that he doesn’t want to wait for him to arrive.

 The last time Fabian was in Riz’ office there was a terribly creepy doppelganger of Riz trying to kill him, but he pushes the thought to the side as he rushes into the building, dripping water everywhere as he heads up the stairs.

 Fabian doesn’t think he can manage another emotional talk today because the last one left him completely drained and exhausted, but the second that he spots Riz behind his desk ripping some papers in a nervous craze his heart leaps into his throat and goes into overdrive immediately.

 Fuck.

 He rips open the door and Riz flinches so hard that he sends all the papers flying. Then he stares at Fabian with his huge, yellow eyes.

 “Why are you wet? And where are your shoes?”, he wants to know, looking completely confused.

 “Doesn’t matter”, Fabian says, rounds the desk and grabs Riz by the shoulders. “We need to talk about Saturday.”

 Riz turns his face away and there is a dark green blush on his cheeks and the back of his nose. Now that Fabian knows what his damn problem is he realizes how fucking badly he actually wants to kiss Riz.

 “Oh—well. Yeah. Haha, weird, right? Don’t worry about it, it was totally ridicu—“

 “I should have done it”, Fabian interjects. Riz’ eyes grow impossibly wider.

 “Wh—what?”

 “I should have done it. Kiss you, I mean. We should have kissed.”

 Who would have thought that the son of the famous Bill Seacaster would die of a heart attack at the age of eighteen while wearing no shoes and dripping wet clothes.

 “Wh—why?”

 “Because I—“

 Fabian didn’t actually get that far in his head. He grabs Riz’ shoulders tighter and fuck, he can’t bring himself to say the words.

 “Because I don’t want you to kiss anyone else”, is what he manages in the end and he watches closely as Riz’ swallows and the dark shade of green on his face grows impossibly darker still.

 “Did you mean it?”, he asks quietly, his voice raspy and hoarse.

 “Mean what?”

 “That—in your text message. About—you know. Being best friends or whatever.”

 Fabian takes a deep breath.

 “Yeah.”

 Riz makes a very small “Oh” sound and then, all of a sudden, Fabian stumbles backwards with his arms full of Goblin. It occurs to him that this is the first time they actually hugged.

 “So—uh. Can I? Um—kiss you?”, he asks and his voice sounds like he swallowed a bunch of sand.

 “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

 It turns out that kissing someone you’re actually into is better than winning a Bloodrush game, better than dancing, better than pretty much everything he’s ever done before. Riz holds onto him as if his life depended on it and Fabian feels like he won’t let his best friend down anytime soon or he might just fall over and die.

 It occurs to him that this must be Riz’ first kiss and something inside him purrs contently at the thought of that as he lets himself sink down into Riz’ chair so Riz is sitting in his lap.

 “Thought you were into that Theo dude”, he mumbles against Riz’ lips.

 “’m not.”

 “Yeah, I get that now.”

 “I’m uh—pretty much only into you. So...”

 Fabian’s heart is doing a very silly little dance in his chest but all he can bring himself to say is “Yeah”. All the other words that he probably should say get stuck somewhere half the way up his throat because his heart is beating too fast.

 “So... no more Truth or Dare”, Riz says sheepishly.

 “No, definitely not.”

 “Cool.”

 Very cool indeed, Fabian thinks, as he kisses Riz again.

[deerth]

my first mistake in witchcraft

yes i’m going to be petty over religion for a second here.

i have been slowly inching out of the broom closet as i now consciously move on from the atheist mindset to the pagan one. i was looking for more resources to research my path, and i ended up on a witchy server... woe unto me as i try to fit in once more, for it seems that not even witches are unified.

forget about all that shit about garden, cosmos and whatever witches. the religion actually broadly branches into two practices - Wicca and regular witchcraft. so you are primarily the one or the other, no matter what flavour of ritual you practice.

the primary difference between Wiccans and general witchcraft is your belief of whether religion can be used for harm or not. in short, Wiccans state “an it harm none, do as ye will” (as long as you don’t hurt anyone [including yourself], go bonkers), therefore you will not find Wiccans casting curses or hexes. we know the responsibility of our faith and we know that if you radiate bad vibes, it will come right back around to bite you in the ass later. that said, most Wiccans don’t mind witches who do curse or hex. some cultures use practices like voodoo, and even old eastern European practices were not free of rituals that were made to directly interfere with someone’s will (love spells that were supposed to make someone love you). therefore, a disclaimer: I’m not anti-hex. I would not use a hex because I feel that hate will not solve hate, and as long as you’re an adult, I trust you know what you’re doing with your power. maybe you are of an oppressed culture and have good reason to exact revenge on someone who severely hurt you, especially if you have a long-standing tradition of hexes. even Nina Simone sang “I Put a Spell on You” (albeit this is also a love spell). I know curses and hexes and even spells affecting with another’s free will are an inherent part of witchcraft and I won’t deny it. I follow my doctrine, you follow yours, that is fine by me.

what is NOT fine with me, however, is propagating hex culture among minors. why? because minors are not ready to take on that responsibility!!!! just like they are not truly ready to make healthy decisions about sex, alcohol or other substances, they cannot take true responsibility over causing harm, be it spiritual or otherwise. “what’s a little hex do?” you might ask, if you’re a minor. not to sound like a boomer, but when I was 16, I was edgy as fuck. I hated everyone while claiming to love everyone. I was in NO correct mental state to make decisions about the aforementioned things. even without casting any hexes, I made many mistakes. big ones. I hurt a lot of people. yes, I regret it all deeply. I wish I had thought things over rather than stay stubborn. in fact, most people under 20 are not ready to enter discourse, drama or a vicious cycle of hatred purely because it will always turn into “all bite but no bark”. I purposefully say it that way because although youngsters are admirably spirited and ready to take on the world... they often bite off more than they can chew. I see girlies straight out of high school trying to solve huge problems like racism, and although, again, admiring these young people, they have researched their stuff. to an extent, they know what they’re talking about... but I do believe hate will not solve hate.

one of the moderators of said server retaliated with it not being a universal truth, and claimed my take to be “unverified personal gnosis” (what is a verified gnosis, anyway? how do you measure it? especially in a practice like witchcraft where every bloody individual practises it differently and there are no priests or churches?). if the moderator happens to read this and wishes to elaborate, i’d be welcome for a bit of constructive discussion over what is and isn’t personal gnosis. I acknowledge that “hate cannot be fought with hate” is not a universal truth... that is perhaps where I went to the extreme. but believe me, I did not say it to be holier-than-thou. I was actually shocked to be called out by not one, but two moderators on my behaviour, instantly. I did not read in the rules that one would be forbidden to state their opinion or softly disagree, but perhaps it is so and I did not pay enough attention.

there comes another food for thought: is it possible to socialise without being opinionated in any way? would shutting down opinions truly prevent conflict? because I’m feeling very bitter and left out now. I know everyone on that server is not Wiccan. but to get slapped in the face right after I attempted to be friendly (laconic and feeble as that was), among who I considered to be my own people... I feel conflicted. now mind, I’m not going to leave witchcraft behind. it is my religion, and thanks to this experience, I learned that Wicca is the right thing for me. I don’t want to advocate for violence and a vicious cycle of hatred. my grandfather was Romani, therefore I believe I know a thing or two about mislabeling and hate enacted upon minorities and outcast people. does that mean I want to kill and hex every white in sight? the answer is no. if anything, me being both Wiccan and Romani, it would just add fuel to the fire. especially because Romani are stereotyped as evil witches in the first place, so it would be a double suicide. by propagating violence, I would give these people more reason to hate pagans and Romani people. both cultures are already feared and hated upon as it is. I am not going to give people more opportunity to hate me.

coming back to the minor I disagreed with in the server. I was shocked that the first thing that came to a teenager’s mind was a revenge hex. it screams of naiveté and irresponsible behaviour towards your faith. and not JUST your faith. as I am a student of psychology, I am well aware how mind patterns work, and here’s the funny thing: psychology has proven that witchcraft’s law of returns is somewhat true, not on a magickal level, but on a mental one. if you ponder over violence and revenge excessively, you are reinforcing those neural pathways in your brain. there is a reason why they say “hate breeds hate”. it is the same reason why depression is so hard to deal with. anything you obsessively ruminate over reinforces it again and again until escape seems impossible. I’m not only speaking as a witch, I’m speaking as a human being. is it correct to propagate petty violence among minors when we as adults can do better and guide young people to better paths?

I’m not saying young people shouldn’t use hexes. but I am questioning their ability to take on the responsibility of potentially hurting someone, or even just thinking of hurting someone. you plant a seed of hate and it may just grow. you knock on the devil’s door enough times and he will answer (disclaimer: I’m not Christian either, I just like the saying). soon there shall be nothing left but hate. if the person in question had not been a minor, I would have left it at that. but religion is sacred. a witch’s magick is essentially making something important to you sacred. it’s not a plaything. it’s not to be used light-handedly. it’s not a trend. and hexes should be the last resort if all else fails OR the person you hate has a damn good reason for being hated.

is it wrong to vote for love and peace? yeah, I sound like a hippie, but I think they’re right. love was not born from continuing to fight each other - love was born from unity, from coexisting. how does one fight racism? psychology says see more poc, interact with them, understand their struggles. how to fight religious fear? spend time with people of different views. how to get over homophobia? spend time with the gays and try to understand their views, and like, actually understand them. spending time with someone just to berate them is still bigotry. the interaction I mean here is coexisting with minorities in a shared space and them slowly, but surely becoming more accepted and normalised because we finally see them. even a bigot can’t stay a bigot if they are brought out of isolation. if they’re forced to see people different than them.

unfortunately, not even your own faith can comfort you sometimes, mostly because the community is still divided. there are rules on what should and shouldn’t be done, and woe upon thee if you dare to even peep one of your thoughts. I merely said thank you and sorry and left, as I always do when I feel misunderstood. it was a valuable yet harsh lesson, and I regret hoping for acceptance or even offering me a moment to be understood without being shut down without a second thought. I regret hoping for a little discussion where it is seen as a violation of rules.

again, as long as you are ready to bear the responsibility of harming another, do whatever you want. as a Wicca, I prefer staying benevolent and kind, even to those who traumatised me. you might argue that this essay in itself is not benevolent... after all, Wiccans don’t slander people behind their backs, you might say. but it is not my intent to slander. it is just me expressing sheer confusion over what I expected to be a community to hear out all voices, because why have a community at all if you allow for no discussion? do we shut off discussions entirely in fear of fights? but alas, it is human nature to be opposed, but it’s also human nature to still hold hands despite the differences - one just needs to acknowledge it.

blessed be.

[ye-bloodeh-liar]

I just finished AC Valhalla – A résumé.

I finished the "main story" of Assassin's Creed Valhalla. These are some thoughts of mine. (This was saved in my drafts for two weeks or so. But my stance hasn't altered. Actually, I'm even angrier now.)

Disclaimer: This obviously contains some spoilers here and there. You've been warned, but tbh, who even cares about the story at this point. Also, I know I don't have many followers, and I suspect none of the few that will come across this post will actually be interested in it. That said, if you like reading people's rants about things, regardless of your interest in video games, this might be something for you. I just needed to get this out of my system somewhere. This is a rant (well, vent? I'm venting, I guess) written as it came to my mind. There's no real structure, I think. Sorry for that in advance.

After Origins, which I thoroughly enjoyed and actually played again between Odyssey and Valhalla, and Odyssey, which's name was perfectly fitting since it felt like a fucking odyssey to grind through, I hoped, actually, I was convinced, Valhalla would right Odyssey's wrongs. You see, Odyssey had one big problem for me: It did none of the things that made and still make me love Origins. In short: The world was massive, but felt copied and pasted, uninteresting to explore and lifeless. Basically, it was a lot of green sprinkled with some olive branches. A lot of the times the only way to know roughly where I am was pulling up the map because based on my surroundings, I could've been anywhere. Compared to the intriguing world of Origins, where you always knew in which area of the map you currently were, this was a shitshow. I mean, just walking through the desert in Origins had more atmosphere than the whole city of Athens (the main fucking city) could ever muster up. (Oh, remember the times of AC Brotherhood, where Rome actually felt like a city even though it wasn't actually humongous like the new games are? Or how atmospheric the whole of AC II was? I mean, Venice? Hello? M a s t e r p i e c e) But I can overlook that. The combat didn't feel heavy, or to put it better, "impactful" like it did in Origins, but more like poking the enemies to their deaths with something that made sword-y sounds. But I can overlook that. The loot system improved a bit, in the sense of giving the option to modify your loot and being able to combine different armor pieces, however, Origins outfit-system was more up my alley. But I can overlook that. Funnily enough, compared to its predecessor, Odyssey looked worse. In Origins the fabric of your outfit look like actual fabric and, I can't stress this enough, waved in the wind. In Odyssey everything felt more static and somehow "fake". But I can overlook that. To me, Origins' story was masterfully done. Personally, I'd say, that this is the closest we've ever gotten to the Ezio-Trilogy. The voice acting was top notch. Bayek was a great character, and the side characters like Aya/Amunet were equally intriguing. I still remember the first time I saw the first confession cutscene after killing Medunamun. It gave me shivers and goosebumps and got me excited for what was about to come. What I want to say with this, is that Origins made me care; care about its characters, care about their backstory and motives, care about the world, etc. After I had finished the DLC The Hidden Ones I felt like I had actually witnessed the igniting spark of something epic, namely the Assassin Brotherhood, in such a chilling way, even though they basically were just chillin' in a cave. Because that's what character building gives you: payoffs. Well, Odyssey did none of that. All it did made me care about was to get all the loot, because that's what my mind always goes for in any game (I'm that kind of stupid ape). I didn't care about what would happen in the end – I just wanted to get there. I wanted to know how the story would end, but in whichever way it would, I knew I wouldn't care for it in the sense of being disappointed or yearning for a different outcome for the character I was so invested in, because, as I said, nothing got me invested in the character(s) in the first place. That's what bugged me the most about Odyssey. Not the flimsy feeling combat, not the husk of a world I found myself in, not the downgrade in design and animation, etc., but the lack of care it invoked.

Now, when Valhalla was originally announced, I was excited as I could be for a video game. Ubisoft was clearly aware of their mistakes with Odyssey and tried to show that they're willing to listen to their fanbase. A world where every area has its own identity? Sounds great. Heavy combat? Hell yeah. Gear and loot that actually matters and is special (unlike in Odyssey where after a few hours of playing you find yourself carrying the same fucking bow 25 times)? Oh my. Choices not for the sake of choices, but story? Yes please. I mean, if you have to implement choices. Even though choices don't really make sense in Assassin's Creed, but that's another topic.

Well, did it deliver (for me)? No. And to be completely honest, I prefer Odyssey, even as the grindfest that it is, over Valhalla, and me replaying Odyssey seems a lot more likely to me, than going through all of Valhalla again. I'm not going to list all of the points mentioned above again in full detail: The world is a bit more intriguing than Greece, but a shadow of what Egypt was. The combat feels heavy, yet every weapon looks too big (????) and it still feels a bit off. My biggest grudge of the minor points is actually the look/the graphics: How on earth does Valhalla manage to look less real than Origins? The fur and pelts on the armor, every piece of cloth, i mean just e v e r y t h i n g looks somewhat plasticy (at loss for a better word here; just compare Origins' outfits in motion to Valhalla's) Anyway, let's get to the real problem here, because all boils down to the point I've mentioned before: Invoking care.

This became very apparent to me after forging the fourth (?; was it the fourth? They all blur together. That's how e n t i c i n g they are. Great.) alliance or so. I didn't give a single fuck about the characters in those arcs. It was very clear that they'd be soon replaced by other characters in the next alliance's arc, which I probably wouldn't care for either, especially, since they all felt somewhat the same: empty. Alliances felt like checklists to do. Even Wincestre, which had an interesting beginning, somehow managed to loose all of its "darkness" after the first two quests. But I could overlook the dreary sidequest-like alliance arcs, if they served the main storyline in some way or form. Now you might ask, what main storyline? E x a c t l y. Looking back, there is none. At least not really. And there where a lot of times playing the game where I found myself wondering, if this alliance-arc-thing I was currently dragging myself through was in fact meant to be the actual story. But it shouldn't be. Was it? I have no fucking clue. My conclusion on what Valhalla's main overarching story is, is what follows:

Eivor's parents got killed when he was a child (never seen before lol), got adopted, and is now part of the Raven clan with his "brother" Sigurd//Sigurd comes home from some raid with the Assassins Basim and Hytham//(Eivor gets the Hidden Blade; I mean, this is an Assassin's Creed game. Big moment. Done in 2 seconds.)//Sigurd and Eivor aren't happy with the new King of Norway.//Sigurd and Eivor fuck off to England (with Basim and Hytham) to set camp there.//Eivor starts to forge alliances throughout England to make his clan's hold on England stronger.// Sigurd and Basim do their own thing.//Eivor meets Sigurd and Basim two or three times throughout his alliance forging.//Basim seems a bit off.//Sigurd says that he was told (by Basim?) that he is a descendant of the gods.// Sigurd wants to "pursue his destiny"// (sidenote: the last few things are all within one (!) short cutscene in a small house. d e v e l o p m e n t.)//Sigurd gets captured and tortured and loses his hand.//Eivor rescues Sigurd.// Sigurd is back in the settlement.//Sigurd distrusts Eivor because Eivor doesn't believe Sigurd and Sigurd thinks Eivor wants to take his title as the jarl (jarls are the bosses of settlements).// And then the end sequence hits. This is where I want to go into somewhat detail again. We go from Sigurd distrusts Eivor to "Eivor, I don't wanna be the boss of the town, so I don't hold a grudge anymore, let's go back to Norway and I'll show you I was right all along" like it's nothing. It's literally just that: You walk up to Sigurd, he says this (more or less) and you sail away. Again: development is taken very seriously in this game. Honestly, at this point I didn't even know that this was going to trigger the ending. My genuine thoughts were "Oh my, finally, after all this grinding, the story is going to start." when in reality of course, ironically, it was going to end. Absolute belter. So you sail to Norway with Sigurd, which takes fucking forever, because OF COURSE you have to sail (for everyone who didn't play the game, yes, sail, that means looking at a viking longship while occasionally moving the stick slightly to change its directions slightly) to your original settlement in Norway, for what feels like far too long, only to say Hi to your dad. Fucking lost it. I thought we were going to assassinate the King? Nah bruv let's just have some quick family talk instead. Some action? Nah. Just get back to the longship. A N D S T A R T S A I L I N G A G A I N. Where? Just around the curve of our settlement in Norway. Yes, they pulled the old trick of the ending is literally just right around the corner of your starting position hehe. Absolute belter. Is this to make it seem like something is about to happen? The calm before the storm? It doesn't work like that. Well, then you actually sail through a storm (lol), which doesn't matter, because Sigurd just says "Let's keep going" and, well, you keep going. Also, to this point the weather conditions have never affected neither Eivors health, nor the ship in any way whatsoever, so why should I be impacted by a storm now? Like, it's a nice thing for atmosphere, but at least make the ship harder to steer or something. Then you walk up a mountain. Funnily enough Sigurd walks in manner that shows that the walk against the storm isn't easy, whereas you, hah, you can just yeet yourself up that mountain like nothing. I could sprint up there. Fucking sprint. Anyway, Eivor and Sigurd enter the Isu temple, because of course, we had to throw an Isu temple in there, I mean, i t ' s A s s a s s i n ' s C r e e d. Was it hinted at before in the story? Not really. Were we chasing or searchig for it? Nah, better get that next alliance going. It just suddenly was. Again: development. So we walk to the main platform of the temple and activate the machine and bam we're in Valhalla (because at some point Ubisoft realised that maybe they should include what is literally in the name of the game). Again, were we looking for Valhalla? Like not in the sense that every viking was, but more in the sense

of was it the main objective of the game? Did Eivor look for a way to Valhalla? Was there anything that led us here other than Sigurd having had a few dreams (that only got mentioned, like, twice?) and being influenced into thinking he was a demigod or something? Nope, Eivor was looking for that next alliance to forge. So, Eivor realises that his experience of Valhalla is fake and he wants to get out. But fake-Odin doesn't want to let him go. In a really weird cutscene (jump to 6:30), Eivor eventually escapes Odin and enters a door with his settlement-family (look, I'm all here for metaphors, but this, this is just utter rubbish. It just doesn't make sense, and there is no payoff whatsoever). Odin actually had a build-up of some sort. In every assassination sequence he's there and talks with Eivor. I actually thought there would be some cool payoff/ending/reveal here. But nah, this ain't it chief. Yet somehow, until here, I had hope. I thought maybe now, building on all this confusion, there's gonna be a relatively good ending. Something enticing. Something that made everything somewhat worthwile. And Ubisoft went: Lol nah. So, you're out of the Isu machine again (for all the non-AC-peoples here: basically like the matrix. Eivor gets hooked up to the machine and experiences alternate reality: Valhalla), and Basim is there. What a twist. The guy that showed up like three times and went from friendly in the first time to super suspicious (like glaring-in-your-face-suspicious) in the two-or-so other major cutscenes he was in, has now been revealed as the enemy. Congrats to that. What a twist. The thing is, and this bothers me a lot actually, it could have been anyone there. It didn't need to be Basim. It wouldn't have felt out of place if it wasn't him. Why? Because Ubisoft failed terribly at making you connect to any character and at building any actual story (or character). It could have been Gunnar, the friendly black-smith in our settlement, and it would have been as fitting as Basim. Then Basim says that this is "for his son". Ah yes, the lost son of Basim, which was mentioned once. Right. Eivor defeats Basim by hooking him up on the Isu machine and gets back to the settlement with Sigurd (in my ending at least. There seems to be a possible ending in which Sigurd doesn't come back.) Cut to the modern day, where Layla now knows the coordinates of the Isu temple, goes there, hooks herself up to the machine, becomes the overseer of time with the other overseer of time which already was hanging out there (I mean yeah, great idea, terrible execution. Build it up, then you can have a payoff. This was just straight outta nowhere, and who cared about Layla anyway.) Anyway, meanwhile Basim, who was still hanging on that machine a fuck ton of years later, pops off, and is now living in the modern day. The idea here is, that we lost the hero (Layla) which caused the (just established) vilain (Basim) to do his fuckery in the modern day. But why should I care? Basim was basically nonexistent in the basically nonexistent story and suddendly I should feel sad or shocked, because he's in the modern day? Is this supposed to be intriguing? And yeah, Layla is "gone". Layla, who had no character building over three fucking games. Why should i be bothered? Why should I care about anything that just happened? Remember when a side character (Lucy) died in AC Brotherhood? That was intriguing. Why? Because they built her as a character we (Desmond) trusted, even though it was in the modern day (which no one really cares about in AC). And this is why Valhalla broke me and Odyssey didn't. Valhalla failed to make me care on a much deeper level. It's just a lot of nothingness. Empty characters in a nonexistent story. And by nonexistent, I mean non-built at all. When I play the game now, I have no actual reason, and throughout the game never actually had any actual reason, to continue. It was a chore. I didn't bother if after three hours of grind I would eventually get a mini-snippet of a husk of a story, and neither do I care now. Everything in

this game is so devoid of sparking curiosity and screams of lacklusterness to the point where I don't even know what I have actually expierenced. For fuck's sake Ubisoft, make me care again. At least once in 40 hours.

May I sum up Valhalla's "story" and content in the glorious words of Catherine Tate: Am I bovvered? The answer, sadly, is a holistic no.

[spidersbane]

Hey , I was wondering if u still do HP ships (if yes , cud u pls do a male HP ship for me ? Thanks!) Well actually , I am a mix of Gryffindor and Slytherin , I have black hairs , brown eyes . I m 5'4.

Firstly , I m an extrovert . I love reading novels and I get attracted to unusual / taboo things a lot . I m very curious and eccentric . I am also quite rebellious and have frequent debates with my close ones . I stand up for the right . I m not much a big fan of rules (incase they are stupid , mostly they are..) . I can a bit shy (in front of boys sometimes) at first but once comfortable I can't stop talking . I am quite a practical person . Also , I am quite ambitious . I have many hobbies like dancing , reading , horseriding , researching , etc .

People usually tell me that I don't talk much . I m very honest and very loyal . I m very helpful and kind too . But I can be over - critical(of ones I care) and very suspicious (of everyone) . I can also vengeful . I may forgive my close ones but I'll never forget (I don't hold grudges tho) . I love excitement and adventure . I want someone who can take me on sudden late night camps . I also love brain stimulating situations . I am resourceful and my friends always come to me for advice. I don't have much problem in deciding . I can be insecure so I need someone to reassure me . I also tend to overthink a lot sometimes . I have a habit of googling everything that I want to know or if it's being talked about and I am clueless . I also have many ideas running through my mind constantly and I have trouble sleeping early at night. I don't like getting up early , but I dont hate it since it drags me back to my daily timetable . I can get annoyed or angry very easily. I tend to somewhat procrastinate about things I don't enjoy doing . But if I enjoy doing something I won't hesitate in hardworking . I m caring , protective of my loved ones and a good speaker (avg listener too) .I don't need someone who'll protect me , I feel I m capable but I need someone who'll be with me all the time . I also love it if they get jealous sometimes . I am also appreciated for my sense of humour. I tend to be the one who won't give attention to the ones who seek it . Also , my friends tell me that I come out to be quite unique . I am very independent and I don't commit easily or trust easily (I take my own sweet time) . My sun sign is Virgo if that helps 😅

Lol , I kept going with the flow . I hope it's not too much for u . But anyways , tysm for u time :)

hi sweet anon ! thank you for being so patient w me while i worked on this. i'm finally back into the groove of things and churning these out like nobody's business lol. but thanks for sending in a request, it's absolutely not too much info (bc i love learning about you guys!) and I hope you enjoy !

For Harry Potter (Marauders Era) - I ship you with Remus Lupin !

my softest boi Lupin, I adore him, and I have a suspicion that he'd adore you too !

so first, I love the idea of introvert/extrovert relationships, friendships, etc. and I think they make lovely pairs, so there's that going for y'all. second, Remus is incredibly intelligent and also needs someone who can keep up with him intellectually, plus, he's always looking for some new thing to be learning. so now, y'all just get to be learning new things together ! study dates !

on protectiveness and reassurance - Remus gets typecast as the wet-blanket friend, but I don't think this fits him. he cares deeply about the people he loves, and is willing to get into shenanigans w them. but it doesn't mean he coddles them. he's just there in a way that any friend should be. so with you, he wouldn't try to smother you, and in his own ways, he'll need his own reassurance! but as long as there are boundaries about what's reassurance and when it's constricting, then it'll balance nicely

you and Remus both vibe together on the fact that you're suspicious of ppl you don't know, and it can take you both a wile to potentially open up to each other. but once he realizes you can accept him for his condition, and that he can accept you for who you are, then it'll be a very secure relationship

also tell me you wouldn't love to take Remus dancing :)

For Harry Potter (Golden Era) - I ship you with George Weasley !

can we just start with rebelliousness and eccentric hobbies ? George is a little more reserved than Fred, but it doesn't diminish his part in pranks at all, and with another rebellious (and practical) mind added to the mix, it's a new trio to watch out for lol

from this, George LOVES excitement and adventure, and it's smth he absolutely thrives on, so he needs someone who can keep up with him and join in; and he'd love to learn about your hobbies, and try to get into them as a way for him to do smth new, but mostly as a way to try and connect w you !

this lil bit of contrast is nice, where you love learning about so many new things and want to be as informed as you can. we don't get to se George caring a whole lot about certain topics, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't give you his absolute attention if you started telling him about a new thing that you learned! and if he can't completely understand it, he's still happy you're out there learning about it anyways

there's like one potential issue tho - George is nothing short of an attention-seeker. although it may sound harsh, he knew that pranks w Fred and being pretty outlandish would get him some attention. but, it helps ppl see him. so between the both of you, it might take a little work, but if you could look past the bravado, you'd find a guy who just genuinely wants to be appreciated and totally seen for who he really is

overall, George might take some getting used to, and it might take some time to really learn how to be around each other as friends, then as partners, but with some open communication, it's totally doable

also George dancing, hello ?? cutest thing ever :)

[jessiebanethedragon]

Scuttle (4/?)

Big thanks to all those reading this!!!! hope you enjoy part four ❤️ 

also warning of talk about Hutt reproduction for comedic purposes (sorry...)

You wake to the sound of a very angry sniper. And even though his default setting is angry, he seems more perturbed than usual. Muffled voices can be heard from outside the small bunk area that you’ve already made your personal space. Wet, destroyed clothes sit on the floor in the corner and you’re wrapped only in Crosshairs blanket, save for your undergarments. You swing your legs over and plant them on the cold metal floor.  As you reach the door, the  voices become clearer.

“Absolutely not.”  - That's Crosshair for sure, only he would be so blunt. 

“I wasn't asking for your permission Crosshair, only your opinion.” The other voice is more of a long sigh at this point. The exhaustion and caring sound to it tells you it’s Hunter. For clones they are all remarkably different, you think to yourself. 

“Yeah and my opinion is ‘no’.” Crosshair snaps. 

“The seppies will come after her whether you like it or not.” He counters. 

“Which is why we can’t take her into bounty hunter territory!” You freeze as you realize they mean you. Panic settles in when you come to terms with the idea of being ditched on some degenerate planet with non resources whatsoever. You retreat back into the bunk, pulling the blanket closer to your frame. 

“Just get her up.” Hunter finishes and you hear him walk back down the halfway of the ship. Crosshair grumbles something about not being in charge of you before the door slides open. He’s shocked to see you sitting up and awake, and his eyes rest on the pile of clothes on the floor before meeting yours. His blanket looks far better on you than it has in all his years of owning it.

“Food’s up.” He says before turning to leave. Less time spent interacting with you the better. Means less time for him to stare at the one exposed shoulder that the blanket has fallen off of and less time to wonder if you’d ever spare someone like him a second glance. 

“Where are you dumping me?” He hears a small voice ask. And all the warmth leaves his body. 

“We aren't…” He starts, not turning around. Because if he doesn’t turn around he can claim ignorance if you're crying or not. 

“I heard you and Hunter and i’m not stupid.” You interrupt him, voice void of any emotion. 

“Then you'd know i'm not going to let him do that.” He snaps, almost angry at you for thinking he’d leave you on your own. 

“I’m deadweight, aren't I?” It's a question you know the answer to but have to ask anyways. You want to scream at the republic, for using your intel and then throwing you away. Taking advantage of your selflessness and empathy, just like they take advantage of  the clones caring and giving nature at every opportunity. 

“You’re not deadweight.” Crosshair states, leaving no room for argument, “You just need to be somewhere off the grid for a while.” He hears you stand, and slowly he turns his head, his blanket bunched awkwardly around your frame. His jaw clenches as his heart pulls at strings he swore weren't there. 

“Crosshair…” You start, but don’t continue, words escape you, the right ones don’t exist in that moment. Or at least you can't bring yourself to use the ones you want to. So instead, you opt to blankly stare at the metal floor. He will leave eventually, turn and head out the door. You’re not his problem, your brain explains this as the floor becomes more and more interesting.  Except he doesn't go. And the very tips of his fingers meet your chin, gently pulling your head to meet his glance.  

God his eyes are stunning, you think, before cursing your brain for being in the totally wrong place at the wrong time. But his eyes might be the prettiest you’ve ever seen. Light brown with hints of ashy tones. 

“I won't leave you on your own.” He tells you, but what you want to hear is that he will stay with you. You're already inexplicably attached to the sniper, it's unbearable. 

“Thank you.” You whisper to him breathless just from being this close to him. 

“Now come on, or Wrecker will have eaten everything before you even get out there.” Crosshair cocks his head towards the door, pulling away from you. 

The members of the hold greet you excitedly, Wrecker seems to have really taken to calling you little bird as well as patting your head affectionately. And you find yourself sat wedge in between him and Tech while they both talk your ear off. Hunter is smiling and eating in contentment of his little family and Crosshair is starring, you fit so nicely in this scene. Wrecker piling more and more food on your plate while you laugh at Techs retelling of one of their ridiculous missions. 

“Tell er’ about Nal Hutta!” Wrecker says with an evil smile.

“Don’t you dare.” Crosshair snaps at his vod, who's already laughing his blacks off. 

“It wasn't that bad Cross.” Hunter admits grabbing some empty dishes and patting his shoulder as he walks by. 

“Yes it was!” Wrecker says between wheezes. And you notice the faint flush in his cheeks. 

“Okay one of you needs to spill the details.” You demand looking from Tech to Wrecker. 

“Well, as you probably know Nal Hutta is run by the infamous Hut cartel…” Tech launches off, waving his hands about as he talks. (you've picked this up as one of his biggest habits.) 

“Tech…” Crosshair groans with his face in one of his hands before giving in and leaning back. Preparing for the worst. 

“I can't tell you all the details, classified and all, but the important part is that Cross was working recon and cover, like usual. So he's up this step mountain that's basically all dirt and sand. Looking for this Hut fellow right, and before we can warn him Wrecker throws this thermal detonator and the whole side of the mountain collapses.” Tech tells you excitedly. And your worried eyes look across the table. Crosshair had moved so he could lean back with his arms behind his head looking just a tad embarrassed. 

“He would've been fine, if he hadn't gone rolling right through the window of the house he was collecting intel on.” Wrecker was killing himself laughing by this point. 

“And then the… the” He tried to get out between gasps of air before waving it off and letting Tech continue. 

“And well, sorry Cross, there's no easy way to say this.” Tech laughed a little himself. “He rolled right in on a Hutt reproducing session.” Your eyes went as wide as they could, and a hand covered your gaping and giggling mouth. 

“Wait, so Crosshair burst in on two Hutts doing it?” You gasped, trying to stifle your growing laughter. 

“Gets worse.” The man in question grit out, looking at the mess of comrades before him. 

“How does that get worse?” You exclaimed, leaning into Wrecker with his contagious laughter. Tech turned to you, smiling wider than ever. 

“Hutts reproduce asexually.” He stated, “scientists don't know too much about it but from the condition we found this one in.” he pointed to a grumpy Crosshair. “It gets real messy.” You closed your mouth into a thin line, blinking as you tried not to laugh. 

“Oh…” Giggle “no, Crosshair…” More giggles. “That must’ve been awful.” You tried to emphasize you really did, but the look on the snipers face had you laughing all over again. 

“He was covered head to toe in green Hutt goo!”  Wrecker boomed. 

“Well it’s nice to know yet another finds my torment hilarious.” Crosshair grumbled as he stood up to escape the laughing hyenas before him. 

“No!” you objected, “I promise I am not finding this the least bit funny.” You told him, trying to keep a straight face. Receiving a sarcastic ‘um hum’ reply. 

“I mean it, you could have been seriously injured.” You countered, thinking you had successfully hidden your smile beneath your hand. 

“I can see you smiling.” He said, raising an eyebrow at you.

“You could've drowned in Hutt goo…” You quietly said with another round of giggles. 

“Ahhh yes CT-7733 of Clone Force 99 killed in action on Nal hutta, death caused by drowning in Hutt goo.” Tech snickered from beside you. 

“He will be dearly missed, and as an apology the Hutt has named the child in his honour.”  You added taking note of Crosshairs millionth eye roll of that morning alone. 

“Okay that's enough of that now.” He said. “Wren, you want clothes or are you spending the rest of your life in my blanket?” He teases, watching you blush a tad. 

“I don't take life advice from a man covered in goo.” You shoot back with the biggest smirk on your face. 

“No clothes for you then.” he smiled as your protests began. 

“Okay, okay, calm down, don’t get your goo in a tuffle.” You say maneuvering yourself from with the blanket and over Wrecker who's still chuckling to himself.  

Down back in your makeshift room, Crosshair shows you where the extra clothes are kept, which means you’ll be swimming in extra sets of blacks all meant for clones that are bigger than yourself. But you think your pants may survive given a good enough wash, so for now you roll the waistband and the legs until you look somewhat presentable. Greeting Crosshair on the other side of the door.  

“See,”  He says, “told ya’ it would fit.” Before he turns from you and starts to walk back down the hall. 

“Wait Crosshair!” You call jogging over to him, a look of fau-concentration on your face as you reach up to where his short hair meets his right ear. Carefully running your fingers through it. He knows his heart has either stopped beating or hammering so fast he can’t feel it. 

“There, all good now.” you declare patting his cheek a few times. Hoping he inquires as to why you just had your hand in his hair. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before deciding on: 

“What was that for?” and if there was an inter-galactic clone flirting competition, Crosshair just lost. You grin up at him, pure evil  in your eyes. 

“Oh no reason,”You say walking past. “Just a little leftover Hutt goo.” 

tags: @mangoberry43 @imalovernotahater @professionaltrashcompactor @vesperstalksclones @haloangel391 

and: Thinking the next chapter might be longer but be out of order in relevance to these chapters... thoughts? questions? comments? etc???

[connorandersons-blog]

Kinktober Day 6: Erotic Dancing, Convin

yay for more Connor/Gavin!!

-------------------------------

They were to investigate an android sex ring. What had been confusing at first was why the androids seemed to go willingly with the humans even knowing the risks and what was happening. 

It had been Hank that pointed it out. Androids didn't have money and most didn't have a human willing to take care of them. Jobs were limited already and most companies didn't want to hire androids after what had happened, so plenty of androids were desperate enough. 

Now Connor had to play that part. The first choice to go with him was Hank. He trusted the man more than anyone else, but Connor knew it would set him on edge knowing what Connor would need to do. Not to mention that Hank would need to seem interested in Connor and neither liked that idea. 

Connor had no problem doing what needed to be done. He was made with all parts available including genitals, so he could do this to the full extent if need be. Hank had thrown a fit at that, but Connor calmed him by saying he most likely wouldn't even need to consider it. 

All Connor needed to do was pretend to be an android needing money and willing to do anything and then he'd be taken to the back to be prepared. He'd dance until someone-whoever he was working with-became interested. All they needed was that person talking about buying Connor. 

He knew a few android memories had been wiped after being bought, but Connor had a feeling that was left up to the buyer.

Then it was just the matter of who would be going in with Connor. They'd have backup waiting outside but inside it would be Connor and his buyer. 

Fowler had been the one to pick Gavin Reed of all people. Connor could admit the man was good at his job, and he trusted him to not give themselves away, but that didn't mean Connor was happy about it. The man was abrasive at best and downright racist at worst. 

Connor had noted every slur Reed had thrown at him, but from that, he also noted that the amount had slowly decreased over the year Connor had continued to work at the DPD. That didn't mean Connor didn't despise the man.

Despise was a stronger word than in reality, but Connor had made sure his other emotions regarding Reed were pushed down. Way down. 

Getting into the cub had actually been easy, and they didn't really question him, just stuck him in an outfit, and told him the rules. He was to go as far as the human wanted, and 75% of the money went to the ring. 

Connor assured them he could dance, he could do anything they needed, and the manager gave a nod before telling him to start on a raised platform with a pole. He didn't need to do anything too crazy, just dance and try to get someone's attention. 

Connor was out in an angels costume which he found highly amusing considering what he was supposed to do. If a customer wanted, they could fully buy Connor off the ring but for the most part, it was only one-nights or up to a month. He wondered what Reed would go for. 

He stood on the platform and scanned the room as he moved to the music. The bass was heavy enough that he could feel it rattling his chest and the pole that spun slowly. 

He found Reed in the crowd and sent him a wink before he pulled himself up onto the pole, spreading his legs into a perfect split before slowly sliding down. Then he wrapped his legs around it, popping his ass out then standing back up. 

'Stop showing off, we don't want anyone else to actually buy you.' Gavin's message was sent straight to him, and Connor did a small twirl before dropping and making eye contact. 

'Aw, you want me all for yourself?' he teased and chuckled when he saw Gavin's face flush in the dark room. 

'No! Don't want a fucking plastic.' 

Connor chuckled and pulled himself back up, letting himself stumble for a second. 'Better?' 

'No. You're still doing too well.' Reed scowled at him before remembering he was supposed to look interested. 

Connor raised an eyebrow at that. If he was doing well that meant Gavin-no, Reed-was at least somewhat affected by Connor. He'd keep that information to himself for now. 

He gave a small shake that looked far too uncoordinated and he could just faintly hear, over the music and talking, a laugh. 'Rude.' He sent. 

'You look like a toddler trying to dance.' He turned his head back and glared at Gavin who subtly flipped him off. 

Connor's eyes went wide as two men started to be making their way to Gavin. 'Two men, 7 o'clock, big.' 

Gavin looked at the message before pocketing his phone and pushing closer to Connor's. One of the men grabbed Gavin's shoulder and Connor grit his teeth but continued attempting to dance badly. 

They didn't need to see that he knew Reed or felt the need to protect him. He may be a dick but Connor knew he'd have his back if it came to it, and Connor would do the same in return. 

Connor danced for what felt like hours until he saw the two men leave back towards the bar, then slipping into a door. 

'Fuckers are part of this thing and was asking what kind I liked. They aren't even trying to hide this shit.'

Connor sighed in relief that they hadn't been caught and Reed hadn't been harmed. He dropped into a split and bounced slightly, looking over his shoulder. 

Reed had finally made it to his platform and reached out and pushed a five into his very tiny and tight shorts. Connor blew him a kiss before scrambling to get up not-so gracefully.

"You for sale?" Reed called up, leaning into the platform. Connor rolled his body against the pole and felt somewhat flustered that everyone could see most of him. The shorts didn't really hide anything, and it wasn't like he was small either. At least Gavin looked just as flustered at that sight as Connor was.

"No." He snapped before grimacing. He had to play the part of an android not wanting to be treated as property again but desperate enough to do it anyway. "Ah, actually I may be. Would you like a dance?" 

He went down into a middle split and leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. 

Reed shifted and looked around before back to Connor. "Maybe, how much do you cost?" 

Connor pretended to think, flexing his legs just slightly. "Twenty for an at a table dance, but there are private rooms too." 

Reed nodded and pulled out a twenty, handing it over. No doubt he'd be reimbursed for all the money he was going to be spending on Connor. 

Connor hopped off the stage and it only took a second before an android woman took his place. So this ring had more than enough androids for these jobs, fuck. 

Connor circled Reed, letting his hand brush against him. He wore his normal day clothes considering it wasn't too odd from the normal in this club. When he got back around he took the collar of Reed's shirt and gently pulled him to a seat before pushing him down on it. 

Casually, almost lethargically, he swayed, in front of Reed, running his hands up and down his own body. His hips moved suggestively, as he looked into Reed's eyes. In slow motion he approached, licking his lips. He could see Reed gulp and his hands tightened on the seat's armrest, knuckles turning white. 

He could feel the heat of Reed's body, as he placed his legs on either side of him, straddling Reed. He looked into his eyes, while his hands caressed Reed's neck, and shoulders. Smilingly, he teasingly rocked his hips.

Turning his back, positioned squarely above his lap he squat quickly up and down, bouncing on his lap without ever making full contact with his groin. Would Reed get turned on by this? He could hear his breath quickening and the hands seemed to be deciding whether or not to keep his hands there.

Connor stood up, turned to face him, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, as he resumed the teasing. His bottom rocked back and forth first against Reed's thighs then graduating upwards. He rhythmically ground his hips against Reed. And he could actually feel him. He was most definitely affected by this and Connor reached up to run his hands through Gavin's hair before leaning forward, lips brushing against his cheek then ear. 

"Am I still doing too well?" He whispered, fully grinding down onto Reed's lap now. 

"Fuck. Off." Gavin ground out. Connor shrugged and hopped off, he turned to walk away but strong, warm hands grabbed him by his hips and pulled him back down. 

Connor gave a small yelp and made sure not to fall too heavily onto Reed's lap. "Ah! Thought you told me to fuck off." He glanced back at him, their faces closer than before. It was a really good thing Hank wasn't in here. 

"Haven't gotten my twenty dollars worth, and I might want to play with you a bit more. Said there were private rooms?" Gavin pulled Connor closer as he ground his dick up into Connor's ass. 

He let out a surprised whine and tilted his head back. 

'Shit, Con you ok?' Hank's message had him flushing a deeper blue. He had forgotten that the backup would be able to hear everything. 

'I'm fine, simply playing my role.' That whine hadn't been intentional in the least but it wasn't like he could take it back now.

He jolted back to the present when Gavin's hands slid from his wait to up his chest. "You didn't answer me." 

Connor nodded and circled his hips, trying to get back in control. "I was thinking about a friend of mine. You aren't nearly as distracting as you think you are. But yes, there are private rooms where we can do whatever you want." 

Gavin thankfully understood the message and nodded his head, pulling Connor close so he could whisper in his ear. "Sorry Anderson, you'll have your android later." 

Connor growled and glared at Gavin. He was still being a dick and Connor had made it explicitly clear he saw Hank more as a father figure than anything else. He reached down and pinched the inside of Gavin's thigh and felt beyond satisfied when he yelped and tightened his hold on Connor. 

"Bitch." 

"You deserved that. Now be good and buy us a room." He moved off of Gavin and cocked his hip, putting a hand on it. 

Gavin took a few deep breaths before standing and having to adjust his pants. Connor watched with a smirk but didn't say anything as Reed went to pay. 

Connor stood there, letting himself calm down. He was tempted to turn his own arousal reactions, but he wanted to see what would happen. 

He jumped when he felt two hands grope him, and his skin started to crawl. He could smell alcohol on the man's breath as he pushed against Connor's back. 

"You pretty, little thing. Could break you so easily and you'd beg for it, wouldn't ya?" The man asked and Connor tried to loosen up. He knew this would happen. He knew there was a chance more than just Gavin would show interest. He really had shown off far too much. 

"Ah! Well, I wouldn't mind all too much but I'm afraid I'm already paid for, but after? I'd love to see what you can do." He spun around and placed his hands on the man's chest. And he was fucking huge. Not in the fat way, but he was just huge and heavily muscled. He probably could break Connor in half and it made him shiver in fear. If he paid enough this man could do anything he wanted to Connor. 

The man hummed and looked him over. "You do look so good. A beautiful angel." 

Connor chuckled and ducked his head, fluttering his eyelashes. "Ah, are you a devil then? Are you going to tempt me to the other side?" Fuck he really hated how this man groped him but he didn't pull away. He needed to show that he was willing to do this with anyone.

"I can make you such a naughty boy." The man sneered and Connor had to do everything to not shrink back. 

But then he saw Gavin stalking over with death in his eyes. "Excuse me, but he's mine for the next hour." Gavin growled out. 

Connor flashed up a grateful smiling before slowly moving back, using a bit of extra force than needed. "Maybe I'll see you later… daddy." God, he was going to be sick. If he ever called another man that he did not know that, he'd self-destruct. 

Gavin grabbed him by his arm and yanked him close, easily moving them to the private rooms. 

There weren't any actual doors but instead floor to ceiling curtains. So they couldn't just sit there and wait, not that he had planned on that in the first place. 

He could hear two people going at it and the other room they were certainly close to it too. So they'd need to do the same thing. At least it didn't seem there would be cameras in the rooms, but a few security guards were waiting just in case.

Connor pushed him off and into the room, following after, sending a wink to a guard before closing the curtains. 

Connor turned back to Gavin and looked around the room. There were constable chairs but also a large couch. In the center of the room was a pole Connor could use if wanted. The lights were dimmed just enough and warm red lights hung on the walls. 

Gavin stood there, looking around as well, but Connor could tell he was nervous. They'd either actually have to do this or make it damn convincing. 

"So, what would you like?" Connor asked, not trying to be loud enough to hear but not soft enough to be suspicious. "I can do anything you want, I'll be good for you." He tried to sound desperate for money more than anything else. 

Gavin's eyebrows shot up but he looked around again before deciding to sit on the couch, letting his legs spread a bit. "Maybe dance a bit more, continue where we left off.." 

When Connor finally reaches him, his fingers threading through Gavin's hair send a wave of nervous vibrations down his spine. His other hand rests against Gavin's shoulder, bracing himself as he raises a knee and presses it between Gavin's spread thighs. The music lulls and fades away, and for a moment that feels like an eternity, they’re sitting still—the only sound booming in Connor's ears, their labored breathing, and Gavin's heartbeat thundering inside of his chest.

Gavin's hand twitched, almost reaching out before he remembered himself.

"You can touch." Connor whispered, grabbing one of Gavin's hands and placed it on his own ass. Gavin gave it a slight squeeze then a stronger one, fingers digging into the white latex with golden sparkles. Connor hummed and gently tugged on Gavin's hair, pulling his head to the side to get easy access to his neck. "Tell me to stop and I will." Connor mumbled before brushing his lips against Gavin's throat.

Gavin gasped and pulled Connor into his lap, down using both hands to hold Connor's ass. "Don't you dare fucking stop." 

'i hate this' Connor rolled his eyes at Hank's message but only felt somewhat guilty. 

'Sorry, plug your ears?' There was more than just Hank listening but honestly, he was the only one he truly cared about to not listen.

He tipped his head back to press hot kisses to Gavin's throat, painting a wet trail to his mouth. Gavin's fingers smooth up and down Connor's spine, then dip down to cup his ass and squeeze again. 

Connor was grinding his crotch to his, and Gavin bit his lip until it bled because it was all he could do to avoid coming in his pants. Connor smirked and pulled his lips away to look at the man fully. "Hm, want me to keep this up? I can do a whole lot more." 

Gavin moved his hands up off his ass and Connor huffed but made a pleased whine when the hands dipped under the shorts to grab at him again, fingers exploring. "God, this is not fair." Gavin mumbled but then leaned forward to bite and lick at Connor's neck. His back arched into it, hips grinding down again.

Gavin kept him close to him, bucking his hips up in time with Connor's. "Con," he groaned, head falling back. 

Connor was thrilled at the reactions he was getting, wanting so much more. His hand gripped Gavin's neck by his nape, fingers over the soft hairs at the base of his skull as he directed their lips to each other. The other hand gripped his waist firmly so he would stop moving, and grinding up into him. He could easily imagine that dick fucking into him as he sat on him. 

Or he could take him back out into the club and push him against the wall. Let everyone see as Connor would shove his hand down Gavin's pants and bring him to completion where everyone could see the effect he had on him. That he was affecting Gavin this much. 

"Fuck me." Connor demanded standing up to unzip Gavin's pants. "I don't need prep." 

Gavin's eyes were wide but he quickly shimmied out of his pants and underwear along with his shirt, tossing them to the side. Connor slid his shorts off, straddling over Gavin, making sure they were in the right before sinking down with a sigh of relief. 

He started to move his hips, unhurriedly, trying to make this last longer. Gavin moaned and grabbed his waist but Connor didn't stop. "Fuck yes! God, you fill me up so well." 

Gavin moaned again and tried to buck his hips up, but Connor glared at him. "Let me!"

"No, I'm in charge right now. I'm going to fuck myself on you and you're gonna sit there and be a good boy." He snapped and sank down again, his back arching beautifully. 

Gavin cursed under his breath but didn't fight it, his hands sliding back around to grab Connor's ass. "You're too damn pretty, fucking hell. The way you move should be illegal." 

Connor smirked and held himself up for a second longer just to tease before dropping back down with a whine. The friction felt so good and he took himself in hand, stroking lazily. "Hm, is that what you want? Want to cuff me for being naughty then fuck me over the table? I might just let you." 

Gavin's pupils were blown wide and he gaped for a second, and Connor let him knowing everything he was imagining. "Yes, god even then you'd still be a little shit." 

Connor huffed and leaned forward to bite a bit more harshly at Gavin's neck. The man whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut trying not to come. Connor licked over where the bruise would definitely form before tossing his head back, finally finding the right spot. 

"Yes! Ah, there, right there." He mumbled. It didn’t take long for his hips to snap down quickly, slapping sound filling the room, ragged breaths, and one hand on Gavin's chest for support. His legs shook gently, not from exhaustion but from want. 

Every time he thrust down Gavin would push up, aching to feel as much of him as he could. Connor leaned forward and kissed Gavin deeply, and Gavin kissed him back greedily. Their hot breath mingled together as they came in for another wet kiss, soft moans escaping both their mouths as their lips joined.

Before long, Connor broke away. “I’m gonna-- ahh shit! I’m gonna come, Gavin. Please don't stop.” 

“Look at me, I wanna see you when you come.” Gavin gave a firm squeeze to Connor's ass, fucking up into him, trying to get deeper with each thrust.

With a few more thrusts, Connor let out a loud unrestrained moan. His eyes were shut tight, and his mouth open and agape as he came over both their chests. Yet he kept bouncing, squeezing around Gavin. "Gavin! Fuck, come on. Come in me, I want you to fill me up. I want to be dripping." Connor growled and Gavin would only nod, yanking Connor completely down. 

His whole body shuttered with the force of it but Connor took it all with a soft whine. God if only he had a plug to keep it there the rest of the night. Then he'd go home and get to play with himself again, maybe even show Gavin what he looked like open and wanting on his bed. 

Connor sat there for a minute letting both of them calm somewhat. He could feel Gavin's heart pounding, arms just loosely holding onto Connor and pressing quick soft kisses over Connor's warm skin. 

"Our time is almost up." Connor murmured, eyes lidded as he looked down at him. This was probably all he'd get from Gavin even if he had fantasized about how to tear him about slowly. Yet he always felt ashamed and even guilty especially when he went in the next day and Gavin was there. It wasn't even their fights and arguments that sparked a flame in him, I mean sure those were nice too and made their own fantasies, but this was different.

"Shit." Gavin grumbled, letting his head rest against Connor's shoulder and closing his eyes. "Oh fuck everyone heard that." 

Connor hummed and checked over his connection which was still very much active yet no one had said a thing. "I don't think they minded, plus I told Hank to not listen." 

Speaking of, he'd need to inform the man that it was safe to put the headphones back on. Yet he wanted to have this conversation in a somewhat private sense so he'd wait just a bit longer.

"Fuck, uh thanks. God, that really happened. And you're really pushy and needy." Gavin chuckled and looked up. Connor huffed and crossed his arms but the fact that he hadn't gotten up really wasn't helping. "In a good way! Obviously, I liked it, but yeah. Maybe I can see more of you, see what sides of you I can bring out, later?" 

Connor knew an invitation when he heard one, and this was definitely it. Gavin wanted to see him again, like this. Not exactly like this, most likely more private, but he wanted more. Even if he hadn't been emotionally connected and interested, he'd be loathed to pass this up. Gavin was by far one of the best fucks he's had in a while. 

He wiggled his hips just slightly and Gavin hissed but Connor smirked. "I'd like that, but I will warn you, I'm insatiable. I don't have to wait very long to get going again, think you can keep up?" 

He knew humans would have close to impossible chances of truly keeping up, but as long as Gavin could pleasure him even when he needed a moment then that was fine. 

Gavin hissed again and tried to glare at Connor's smirking face. "Fuck you, I'll have you a complete mess and begging me to stop because it's too much." 

Connor raised an eyebrow and stood slightly only to drop back down. Gavin cursed and grabbed his hips, trying to keep him still. "I think the one begging will be you-" he leaned in close to whisper into his ear-"Detective." 

He stood completely up and off, looking around and finding a few towels and washcloths under the seat. Thank God the club came (heh) prepared. He grabbed a washcloth and started to clean himself up, wiggling his hips as he felt the come in him. He let his hand trail back and pushed a finger in before pulling it out and glancing over at Gavin. The man was staring at him wide-eyed as Connor popped the finger into his mouth.

He pulled it out and licked his lips before crouching in front of Gavin and licking up his own mess and Gavin's dick. Once he was done he patted Gavin dry and smirked once more at him. He was gripping the seat so hard his knuckles were white. "Maybe you'll get to see what my mouth can do later, but for now I want you to buy me." Connor slid on his tiny shorts and made sure everything was in place before strutting out of the room, not even bothering to close the curtains behind him.

Gavin was left gaping before he quickly pulled his clothes back on, trying not to meet the club's guard's eyes and he quickly walked out of the room. 

Thankfully the two managed to bring the whole thing down, and Connor did later show Gavin exactly how good he was with his mouth.

[sinsatmidnight]

Promotion

Pairing - Kim Sihyeon x Male Reader

Words - 2304

Sins - Smut, oral

Someone asked for something with Sihyeon or Aisha, and inspired this! (Please note: I don’t take requests, this just happened to be the right timing.) Enjoy!

The ROKS Suwon. A Pohang-class corvette of the Republic of Korea Navy with a crew of just over a hundred men and women. And you are its proud commander, the youngest to hold the rank of commander in the history of the ROKN. Perfect marks when you were in the Korea Naval Academy, top of your cohort. Commendations from every superior officer you served under. A high-flier in every sense of the word, most of the navy expects you to get command of a bigger ship in a couple of years and eventually become the youngest ever admiral in the navy.

Before you can think of any of that though, you have matters to attend to in the present. A bunch of papers litters the desk in front of you, profiles of your current bridge crew. You need to do an assessment of the crew for promotion. A few of them might even follow you to bigger roles on bigger ships if you were so inclined to have them transferred with you in the future.

A couple of knocks on your cabin door interrupt your thinking. “You may come in.”

The door opens and in steps Ensign Kim Sihyeon, one of your bridge crew. By far the person on the ship who is easiest on the eye too. Tall, long-legged, fair skin, sharp features, big eyes. She would be a model if she weren’t on your ship. “Commander.” She stands to attention and salutes you. You rise from your comfortable leather chair and return the salute. “At ease, Ensign. And close the door behind you.” While she closes the door, you sink back into your seat.

“So, why are you here, Ensign?”

The ensign stands a couple of steps away from you; the cabin on a corvette isn’t excessively big, even for a commander. “I have something to say to you, sir.”

“Yes? What is it about?”

Sihyeon looks at you right in the eye. “I should be promoted, sir. I know you can only promote one person between me and Ensign Baek Byungjin. I’m as good as Byungjin. In terms of ability, I don’t lose to him. Or anyone else on this ship.”

This is the first time someone has ever come to tell you that they should be promoted over another person, the kind of behaviour frowned upon by many older commanders. She was right that you could only promote one of the two. Both ran shifts as communication officers on the bridge and so did the exact same thing. “That’s bold of you to say. I have your file right here.” You pick up a couple of sheets of paper from the desk and start to read off it.

“Ensign Kim Sihyeon. Top marks at the Academy, and this is your first posting since the Academy. Your everyday performance and conduct are exemplary, and the rest of the crew enjoy your company.”

She has a fantastic record so far, it’s true. You pick up another crew member’s profile. “Ensign Baek Byungjin. Top marks at the Academy, and this is his second posting since the Academy. His everyday performance and conduct are exemplary, and the rest of the crew enjoy his company.”

You stand up and look up at Sihyeon questioningly. “You’re quite right. You are just as good as him. But given that your ability is equal, why shouldn’t I give the promotion to him instead? He is older, with more experience. This is his second posting after the Academy, this is your first out of the Academy. What do you offer that he doesn’t, Ensign?”

Ensign Kim Sihyeon takes a step forward, now standing right in front of you.

“This, sir.” 

And Sihyeon kisses you, full on the lips. You didn’t expect this twist but given that you have been stuck on your ship for the past three months, you are sure as hell going to enjoy it. Her tongue slips into your mouth eagerly as her hands take hold of yours and guide them to the buttons on her uniform.

She pauses the kiss and looks at you with a flirtatious twinkle in her eye and while biting her lower lip. “I’m feeling really hot, sir. Permission to remove my uniform, sir?”

“Permission granted.” You say even as you are already assisting her with evacuating from her uniform. Your hands hurriedly undress her, top and bottom. Soon her uniform and boots are gone from her body. And you are pleasantly surprised to see that Sihyeon is a fan of lacy red lingerie.

“Nice underwear, Ensign. Do you dress like this every day or is this specially for me?”

“I dress like this every day, especially for you, sir.” Sihyeon smiles as she runs her hands over her perky breasts and toned abs.

“How have I never known?”

Sihyeon smirks. “How have you never asked to see?” She licks her lips. “So many of the crew want to, some of them have even asked.” She has a point there, it’s unsurprising to hear many of them want to be in your shoes now.

“And have you shown any of them?”

“Only to you, sir.” Sihyeon’s hands come up to your chest and she gently pushes you back down to your seat. She gets on her knees and her head hovers just over the bulge in your pants. You can feel her warm breath and you harden a little bit more. The bulge rises just that little bit more.

“Sir, it looks like your groin may be hurting. Permission to remove your pants and administer treatment, sir?”

“Just suck my cock already, Kim Sihyeon.”

‘Yes, sir.” Sihyeon grins naughtily and removes your belt and pulls your pants and underwear down to your ankles and then off completely.

“I need to make a note of this in my appraisal of you.” As her soft pink lips engulf the head of your cock, you grab a pen and make some additions to your assessment of the seductive young woman giving you a blowjob.

“Ensign Kim Sihyeon shows great ini-ugh” It is hard to concentrate on writing when Sihyeon is doing her best to give you a sloppy wet blowjob. “Initiative in tackling problems and creativity in solutions to those problems. She marries that to a healthy respect for her superiors and-oh fuck” Sihyeon just deepthroated you there. “And their authority. Despite the challenges of being in a confined and narrow environment, Ensign Kim Sihyeon has also shown herself to be very committed to maintaining a high level of physical fitness. I hereby recommend her for promotion to Lieutenant, Junior Grade.”

Sihyeon pulls her head off your cock as she flashes you a happy smile. “Thank you, sir.”

“Not so fast, Sihyeon. You’re going to be promoted, make sure that you prove yourself worthy of your new rank in the future.”

“I’ll prove it to you whenever you want, sir.” To emphasise her point, Sihyeon takes your cock into her mouth and goes straight to the base in one fluid motion, leaving you gripping the sides of your chair in pleasure. She holds her head there for a few seconds before withdrawing. Her hands take over as she strokes your saliva coated cock slowly.

“I have a request, sir.”

“Another one? You’re making a lot of demands of me today, this had better be worth it.”

“Can I please fuck you, sir?” She bites her lips and looks up at you, almost pleadingly.

“Permission granted.”

Sihyeon gets to her feet and pushing the soaked fabric of her panties to one side, slowly sinks all the way down on your cock. She is warm, wet and tight and everything that your cock has desperately wanted the past ninety days.

“Fuck…” She moans softly as you stretch her out. Sihyeon unclasps her bra and tosses it aside, then leans forward and peppers your lips and jaw with soft, wet kisses as her hips begin to move up and down on your cock.

“Commander…” Sihyeon whispers as her tongue traces the outside of your ear. “When you get promoted and leave this ship, take me with you.” Her tongue then makes its way along the side of your jaw to end up back at your lips and she kisses you deeply and passionately, with a lot of tongue wrestling.

It isn’t just the promotion she has in mind, Sihyeon is clearly thinking for the long haul. Almost her entire career in the Navy, if she plays her cards right. She is ambitious, capable and cunning, this one. Not that you mind. Stuck on a ship for anywhere between weeks and months at a time, with next to no female crew…and not all female crew on Navy ships are as stunning as Sihyeon either. Someone like her isn’t exactly a common occurrence, even outside of the Navy, let alone on your specific ship.

When Sihyeon’s lips finally part from yours, your answer to her is simple.

“Only if you’ll let me take you with me when I leave this ship the next time that we’re on shore leave.”

Sihyeon smiles, plants another kiss on your lips and then pretends to think for a moment. “Permission granted.”

You decide to change positions, and as you move to stand up, you wrap one arm around Sihyeon’s slim waist while she wraps her long smooth legs around your waist and locks them there, pulling your body closer to hers. “I can’t leave this ship without your blessing anyway. You approve the leave for all crew members.” Sihyeon adds while laughing. “But you also can’t leave my pussy without my blessing.” And Sihyeon’s legs tighten around your waist just a little for emphasis.

Her laughter is cut short when you push yourself as deep as you can into her, bracing her against the wall. Sihyeon bites her lips hard, trying not to moan loudly; she really doesn’t want to get caught fucking the commander. You pull back somewhat and resume bouncing her on your cock at a good rhythm.

“And why would I ever want to leave your pussy?”

Sihyeon kisses you deeply for a full minute in response. She breaks the kiss then smiles smugly at you. “Because my mouth feels just as good.”

You have no answer to that, not that you need one. She already knows she’s won this exchange. You might have the military authority, but she has just secured a promotion for herself and also has you happily wrapped around her finger.

You can feel Sihyeon getting close to an orgasm. Her body is tensing and pulling you ever more tightly to her. Your lips have discovered that her neck is a sensitive spot and you lay down a barrage of kisses and nibbles onto her skin there. You can feel her whimpering and panting into your ear.

“Permission to cum, sir.”

“No.” Sihyeon might have seduced a promotion out of you, but you still have the upper hand here though. Good to flex occasionally.

“Please, sir.” Sihyeon starts begging breathlessly. “Please…”

You thrust into her a few more times wordlessly, leaving her hanging. Her fingers are digging into your back, her toes curling as she tries to stop herself from riding the wave of pleasure just yet.

“Permission granted.” You say as you thumb her clitoris with your free hand to help send her over the edge. Sihyeon’s orgasm is silent. She shivers and shakes, and you feel her muscles contract all around your cock. But barely a sound escapes her lips as she bites down hard on them.

On your end, you keep fucking her through her orgasm, feeling yourself close to cumming as well. Sihyeon is slowly coming down from her orgasm, her grip on your body loosening, the legs around your waist not holding as tight.

“I’m close.” You mutter to Sihyeon as you feel ninety days’ worth of semen building up below. “Cum in me, sir.” Sihyeon states as she suddenly tenses again, and you can feel her legs wrap ever tighter around you, preventing you from pulling out.

“Are you-” Sihyeon kisses your question away before starting to urge you to let it out all inside her. “Cum for me, commander, please fill me with your cum…” She moans breathlessly into your ear. “Commander, please…” A few short sharp thrusts later, you feel spurts shoot from your cock, quickly filling Sihyeon up. She moans as your warm cum spreads inside of her. You hold Sihyeon close to you, and she peppers you with soft kisses as you recover. You kiss her back a few times as well.  

You could really get used to the unique power dynamic and chemistry you share with Ensign Kim Sihyeon. It feels…exciting.

“You know, I love your ambition, Ensign.”

Sihyeon breaks into a wide smile and laughs. “And I love your cock, sir.”

“That makes the two of us.”

You eventually let the ensign down and watch as white fluid slowly trickles down her leg. “Lucky for you, the commander of the ship is the only person with his own personal shower. You should clean up before you go.” Sihyeon reaches down with one finger and scoops up some of your cum with it. That finger goes into her mouth and she licks and sucks it clean. “Lucky me.” She smiles slyly, beckons you to follow her with a finger and walks into the shower.

A thought comes to you as you watch Sihyeon’s naked form sashay away from you, hips swaying. “Ensign, when does your next shift start?”

“In three hours, sir.”

That was more than enough time. You get up to your feet and join Sihyeon in the small showering space.

“Belay that last order, Ensign. Clean up, but you’re not going anywhere yet.”

Sihyeon licks her lips as she smirks seductively.

“Yes, sir.”

[radramblog]

Radiohead Retrospective Part 5: I forgot what I was gonna call this one

The previous few entries in this retrospective have had a big old lead-in, about where the band was and how the next album came to be. This gets somewhat awkward now, as we discuss Radiohead’s fifth album, Amnesiac.

The issue is, this tracks on this album were recorded in the same session as Kid A, and it was released just over half a year later, so there isn’t as much to talk about. Kid A was, obviously, huge, but its success wouldn’t affect Amnesiac that much. I guess it got a bunch of music videos? Like, Kid A didn’t have singles, so it didn’t have either those or B-sides.

Regardless, despite being recorded simultaneously, Amnesiac is not truly cut from the same cloth as Kid A. It’s a titch more traditional and less electronic, bringing in jazz influences and classical stuff in addition to the electronica the previous album debuted. It also apparently has krautrock influences, but I don’t really know what that means, so perhaps we should just dive into it and find out.

Much like Kid A and Everything In Its Right Place, Amnesiac opens on an electronic line, albeit one that is slightly less iconic. Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box (the spelling errors are not mine) is a substantially more muted introduction, driven by a scattered electronic percussion and a very low melody. The lyrics are pretty simple, but “I’m a reasonable man, get off my case” is kind of just a great, memeable line I’m sure people have had fun with.

Packt Like Sardines does unfortunately introduce us to a problem surrounding Amnesiac, and the discussion surrounding it. It is extremely often considered an outtakes album, a smattering of disconnected tracks, and I consider that completely unfair to the album’s design. However, Packt does inevitably invite comparisons to Everything, and it doesn’t compare favourably. I still really like the song, it’s soft and somehow comfortable in its coldness, but Everything is, well, everything.

This theme may continue.

It is exceptionally frustrating that a higher-quality copy of this video isn’t available, because it’s really good.

There was a solid period where I considered Pyramid Song my favourite Radiohead track. It is impossibly deep, and beautiful, and above all else evocative. I have no idea why it’s called the way it is, a name echoing either geometry or the ancient past, but the little piano loop Pyramid Song is built upon is just…so much. The lyrics aren’t especially complex, but they manage to capture a very specific emotion of loss and grief, but of absolution, and just hnnng.

If you didn’t watch the video, by the way, go fucking do that. It might have the graphics of an early 00s video game cutscene, but it is genuinely as evocative and tragic as the song itself. Although according to the comments, Pyramid Song was apparently in Cyberpunk 2077, which on the one hand is cool it exposed a bunch of new people to this baller song, on the other hand it deserves so much better than being in that of all games.

I’m just going to say this ahead of time, I don’t think Radiohead captures beauty so well again until two albums from now.

We go from the utterly iconic Pyramid Song to the significantly less so Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors. I…really don’t know what there is to say about this one. It’s kind of an electronic soundscape more than a piece of music. It technically has lyrics, but they’re so heavily affected that it’s hard to see them as separate from the tune itself. I’ve spoken before about songs that are driving towards a point, that have a clear sense of forward motion from a repeating instrumental that feels like the consistent rattle of a train car. This song sort of has that, but without as much of the energy as those songs often have- it’s like a ride you have no control over. It’s basically fine, but I have no idea when I’d ever go out of my way to listen to this.

Also, what the fuck is a Pulk? That’s actually a word, I’m not getting a red underline like with Crushd, but I’m not sure if it’s an intentional misspelling or not.

The next song, You and Whose Army?, is something I remember as being way less subtle than it is. I mean the lyrics are very clearly directed at a person, and spoilers, it’s UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, but if you don’t know the period, or the band’s politics in general, it’s probably going to go right over your head.

It’s a song with two clear halves. One of them is quiet, muted even, subtle instrumentation over muffled vocals, and the second is swelling, and triumphant, powerful instrumentation over muffled vocals. The second half is a lot of fun, but it wouldn’t feel as paid off were it not for the first, so fair enough. I think I used to like this song a lot more than I do now, unfortunately.

I Might Be Wrong is probably the most traditional song we’ve seen from this band in a minute, huh. A bass-driven track that is unquestionably a rock song, even with more electronic percussion and effects on it. Try listening to this with headphones, by the way- it’s extremely heavily panned, something I picked up on in high school since every pair of earphones I’d get would break in one ear eventually.

Despite the previous track’s eventual energy, I Might Be Wrong conveys the general mood of the album- that is, it’s pretty mellow? Even as the bluesy groove keeps going, the track never gets as intense as even say No Surprises. It’s a bit of a vibe, isn’t it? I especially enjoy the little Afterword the song has, it’s not much but I feel like it really adds to the track as a whole.

Wait how the fuck is You And Whose Army? more popular than this? What 23 million people pop that song on the reg? I don’t understand.

Considering the subject matter of this song, and that I’d never watched it before, I was somewhat apprehensive clicking this music video. And…..yeah………..it sure is like that…..

Anyway so Knives Out is about eating people. Probably? That’s the text of it, the subtext is probably a fair bit deeper than that. Like taking advantage of what people leave behind in their absence in a more general, non-cannibalistic sense. Maybe.

I think this song is the most acoustic/least electronic song on the album? Save for one we’ll get to later, maybe. Its lyrics are kind of gross, but that’s allowed.

I’m somewhat frustrated by the lack of things I can think of to say, because I really like this song. It’s a lot like I Might Be Wrong, in that it’s a more chill rockier song than most of the album, but with a different sort of vibe. Uhh…yeah? Shrug? 8/10, would listen to again.

Anyway, we now hit Morning Bell/Amnesiac as track number 7, and it’s the least subtle reference to Kid A I guess you can think of. I mean, it’s a different version of the same song, much louder and more discordant. Bits of it sound like they could be comforting, but juxtaposed with some of the more distressing elements it’s a bit of a whirlwind.

I can comfortably say that Morning Bell/Amnesiac is A Good Song. However, I can’t really appreciate it as such, for a very silly reason. Since I thought the pun would be good, I had this track as my morning alarm for a very long time, and as a result, I cannot stand listening to it. Let this be a warning, never use a song you like to try and get out of bed, if you want to keep liking it.

Dollars and Cents is another sparse, low rock track that eventually builds into a bigger deal as it goes on. Honestly, it’s kind of hard to make out the instruments, a low cymbal line and loose guitar folding in on each other in the background. It, regrettably, doesn’t quite land on the same stick as many of the other tracks on the album, being basically fine but not really notable? And I think that’s the biggest difference between Amnesiac and Kid A, Amnesiac actually misses. Like, I always forget about In Limbo, but it’s unquestionably a good song. Between many of Amnesiac’s more experimental tracks not living quite up to snuff, and Dollars and Cents being largely okay, it’s no wonder why the album is often seen as the inferior follow-up.

This is not particularly helped by the ninth track, Hunting Bears, a loose guitar instrumental that doesn’t work nearly as well as Treefingers. It doesn’t have the vibe, and it doesn’t fit as cleanly in the middle of the album like that one does. It’s just, kind of, there. I genuinely usually skip it when I listen to this album, but I figured it wouldn’t be fair to do that here. It’s just, kind of, a miss. Pretty short, though- I could believe this originally having been part of Dollars and Cents, like a longer version of the end bit from I Might Be Wrong.

While I know this is a video for both Pulk/Pull and Like Spinning Plates, I associate it more with the latter. Not only is the version of Pulk/Pull very different from the album, well, you’ll see why I think the LSP bit is more memorable.

I think Like Spinning Plates is extremely cool. If nothing else, it’s super interesting how they got this to work. The vocal effect for the first verse was achieved by getting Thom to sing the lyrics, reversing that recording, having him memorise how that sounded and perform that, and then reversing that into the final results. How cool is that? I think it’s cool. Also at some points in the second verse, they’re playing a forwards and backwards vocal track simultaneously, which is a really neat effect.

The instrumental is…hard to describe. Apparently, it was a result of trying to make I Will (which would release one album later), which they reversed and played with to get this track. If you’re very familiar with that song, I suppose you could hear that, but I can’t. I just sit back and appreciate the music.

Amnesiac’s final track is Life in a Glasshouse, easily its most bombastic and jazzy. This sounds like a cabaret closer, a swaggering tragedy, an exploratory rehearsal of a final track. It also kind of sounds like a mental breakdown, which, mood.

There’s like, a whole band on this thing. Horns and woodwinds, a piano and probably more than one percussion element. The clarinet (?) noodling on the song is incredibly fun, giving it an almost playful edge, undercutting the downtempo mood of the song, and keeping it from being such a dirge. Especially as the track builds towards its finale, it’s clear that there was a bit more fun going on here. Of course, it can’t end on such a climax, as that little stitch of paranoia that ends up being the album’s closing word manages to sneak through.

And that ends Amnesiac. Now, obviously, it isn’t as good as Kid A. It’s less consistent, it doesn’t have Idioteque, et cetera. But I don’t actually think the comparison is as one to one as often it appears people do. The styles of the albums are completely different- Kid A incorporating so much ambient and electronic noise while Amnesiac has more of the acoustic and jazzy stuff going on. The two albums may have released closely, and recorded even moreso, but they are extremely different beasts at the end of the day.

It’s far from my favourite album of Radiohead’s, but I wouldn’t fault anyone for having it as theirs, you know.

We’ll get to my favourite album next week, where we will also see if I can either defend or maintain that opinion. Hail to the Thief beckons.

[mimssides]

Life on Crow Avenue: Part 15

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___

The brothers looked at each other. Who would possibly visit them at this hour? Remus got up from the chair and walked towards the door and pressed the button on the intercom.

“Hello?” he said as Roman approached behind him to listen who had come for them.

“Salutations. It is Logan Fojtík. Excuse the disturbance,” the voice on the other end said with this unmistakably clear but dry tone.

Remus couldn’t help but smile while Roman frowned.

“No problem Tie Clip! What brings you here?” Remus asked happily.

There was a short rustling before there came the answer: “Well, Remus I wanted to make sure how you were doing and I do have something which might be of interest for you. Also-”

“I am here too. Good evening, Remus,” interrupted a second voice at which Roman yelped in panic.

Remus turned around and at once recognized the voice. With a wide grin and his eyes on Roman Remus said into the intercom: “Hey, hey Jazz Man! You here to check on my bro?”

When the confirming ‘yes’ came Roman spun around his own axis and disappeared in the bathroom, to probably freshen himself up. Remus only rolled his eyes and told them to come up. It was a good thing that Patton had already managed to get someone to fix their door in the morning, otherwise He would have had to let them in through the shop and that was just straight up inconvenient.

With not much else to do Remus opened the door and leaned against the door frame, watching how the two men climbed the stairs. Both looked up to him and Remus gave them a lazy smile and a wave. Janus immediately looked back down to focus on his steps while Logan waved back and promptly took two steps at once. Within moments Logan had come up and Remus let him enter while still holding onto the doorknob.

After a short while Janus had joined them on top of the staircase and Remus waved him inside with the words: “Sorry for not having an elevator or something. These stairs really must be the bane of you.”

Janus raised his eyebrows and huffed a little out of breath.

“Thanks for the worrying but at least you’ve got railing on which I can hold on. Other places are even worse. And I know why my and Virgil’s flat is ground floor,” Janus said and then looked around the room for a moment.

He could not find Roman and looked back up at Remus. The latter tilted his head to the side, his black unruly hair sticking out to all sides and making him look somewhat dispersing the vibes of a Shakespearean fool.

“Not to say that I dislike your presence, but I wanted to talk with Roman? Where exactly is he?”

Remus snorted and led the two into the living room as he said: “Aah, you know he’s a prideful guy, and didn’t want you to see him dishevelled.”

“Dishevelled?” Logan asked concerned.

With a grand gesture Remus pointed at his own face, little traces of barely dried tears and sniffling still very visible.

“Yeah. Dishevelled. Just like me Big Brain. Or whatever you wanna call what I am. But anyway, Ro’s here and he’ll come back any second now.”

And just as he said that Roman emerged from the bathroom and greeted both Logan and Janus with a welcoming smile. The false happy tone twisted the knot in Janus’s stomach and he had to force himself to not let his discomfort show.

“Hello you two! How nice of you to come for a visit!” Roman said.

Logan just pulled up his eyebrows while Janus readjusted his weight on his legs so he could overplay his worry.

“I assume you feel better and have had a talk with Remus?” Logan simply said unimpressed by Roman’s fake upbeat demeanour.

The smile dropped and Roman’s shoulders slumped. It looked almost a little like a child who had broken an expensive vase while playing. Logan sighed and then tried a milder approach: “I must have come off insensitive. I apologize. Let me rephrase my former question: How are you feeling? Was the afternoon off a good distraction?”

Roman gulped and looked over to Remus for a split second and then relaxed a little. He was pretty sure he could answer those questions. A little timid, quite unlike him, Roman looked down to his feet and took a little breath.

“It’s alright. I’m feeling okay. And we probably shouldn’t have opened in the first place today but the afternoon off helped.”

Logan was about to ask a little more specifically what Roman meant, when Roman looked up looking a lot more comfortable than before.

Quick Roman sidestepped his brother to get closer to Janus, without breaking eye contact with Logan and said to him: “Thank you a lot for just going with what I was asking today. I know it couldn’t have been easy without knowing what was actually going on.”

“It is quite alright, Roman. Remus was kind enough to elaborate the situation,” Logan answered.

“That’s what I feared. Anyway, you said you wanted to discuss something with him?”

Logan simply nodded and then witnessed a wordless conversation between the brothers consisting of a look, the ghost of a nod and a shrug. With a frown he wanted to ask what this had been about, when Roman cut him off before he even started.

“Cool, then I’ll leave you to it. Janus, would you like to come with me? I have something I’d like to show you,” Roman said taking Janus’s free hand and catching the latter completely off guard.

Almost flustered Janus answered: “I don’t mind coming with you? Where are we-”

“Downstairs. Let me guide you,” Roman said and walked with Janus’s hand still in his towards the door and the two were gone a moment later.

Perplexed Logan looked after them until he heard Remus exhale and looked up to him. The slim man crossed his arms in front of him and had a dopy grin on his face. With a slight motion of his chin towards the table he seemed to invite him to sit down with him. Wordlessly, Logan complied and walked up to Remus so they could sit down together. Just in front of the table Remus took a step in front of him and pulled out a chair for him to sit down.

“Do you want to drink something?” Remus asked while Logan sat down.

Logan asked for some water and just moments later Remus had come back with bottle of water and a glass for himself and Logan. He filled both glasses with water and sat down. Casually he took a sip and eyed Logan before setting his glass down and giving him a short smile.

“He noticed that you were uncomfortable. That’s why he almost fled downstairs with Jazz Daddy.”

Logan ought to be surprised that Remus had been able to read through his silence so well but was just stunned by the nickname Remus had just used for Janus.

“Jazz Daddy?” Logan repeated bedazzled and Remus laughed a little.

“I’m sure Janus would hate it, which is why I say it. But anyway,” Remus said and played with the glass in his hand, “what did you want to about with me?”

Logan blinked a little surprised but caught himself and fished a paper out of his as always present purse. It was neatly folded and he slid it over the table towards Remus who took and unfolded it immediately. Logan watched his eyes rush over the paper and saw how he began to frown.

“It’s a list of therapists which are highly recommended,” Logan explained when Remus said nothing.

Remus looked up and quirked an eyebrow up and asked suspiciously: “By which side?”

“By my therapist.”

Logan had thought about that moment since he had sent her the requested list of relatively close-by and good therapists in the late hours of yesterday. The moment when he would reveal this information, he had kept close to his heart to someone who was barely an acquaintance.

Strangely enough it made him not as nervous as he had feared. Not at all. Especially, since he saw the obvious recognition in Remus’s eyes. The florist did not take this information for granted. It would be safe with him.

So, Logan smiled and said further while pointing towards the paper: “Her number is on the bottom. She said it was fine if you would call her if you required further information.”

Remus nodded in a fazed way and after a few moments he asked: “Do some of them work with neurodivergent people too?”

“I did not ask for that specific information, so I sadly don’t know. But I am positive that some of them do, as my therapist often has neurodivergent people as patients. Why do you ask?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve got ADHD. I was never diagnosed but It think I fit the general profile; losing my threat while talking, jumping around in stories, forgetting things very quickly, leg bouncing and other stims and Roman has it too, just even worse. And I am pretty sure that a lot of my problems come from that too or are at least influenced by it… so. It would probably be best if I went to a therapist who could deal with that, right?”

“That is a very good thought,” Logan agreed and folded his hands on the table. “I can ask her if she could point such therapists out for me, if you want to.”

“No, it’s fine. I can google them myself. Let’s not make your therapist hate me before she even heard my voice.”

Logan shook his head but grinned as Remus looked over the list again. He seemed to be interested. He asked questions. Maybe, this truly was helping him.

“Do you want to know anything else?” Logan asked and Remus nodded.

“Actually, what - what do I have to look for in a therapist? And how do I apply for one?”

Logan’s smile grew a little wider and patiently he started to explain the general process and rules Remus should know about, while the latter listened closely to the others clear and soothing voice

___

Roman had Janus brought down into the store and led outside into the backyard. Well, that was what Janus first had thought when Roman had walked to the backside of the building but then this door in the back led into a greenhouse. A magnificent greenhouse.

Flower boxes with Roses, Amazon Lilies, African Violets, Chinese Hibiscus and Orchids were orderly lined up, vines grew around the wooden pillars in the corners and the soft warm light of fairy lights enlightened the glasshouse when Roman had pressed the light switch. Everything was bathed in a dim but comfortable light and Janus could only watch in awe as his eyes wandered through the little outdoor structure. In the nearest left corner stood a little black metal table with matching chairs and Roman had offered Janus his arm to lead him there. Janus took the offer and soon was sitting on one of the chairs in this almost magical greenhouse. He watched as Roman walked towards a box near the table, opened it and realized that it was a mini fridge, and took out two cans of beer.

Quietly, Roman set one beer in front of Janus and sat down on the edge of one of the flower boxes, opening the beer left in his hand.

“You don’t have to of course, but I think I need one. And they’re alcohol free,” Roman said and held his beer up as if to say cheers.

Janus opened his beer and lifted it just like Roman did with the dry comment: “Don’t fright over me. I can hold my liquor.”

“That’s good because I can’t,” Roman laughed and took a sip. “I get tipsy very easily and I forget stuff very quickly, so, if you would remind me to not take another one if I were to try and get one? I’m not very comfortable with myself when I’ve got too much alcohol in my system.”

Janus rose an eyebrow but nodded before taking the first sip out of his beer. It wasn’t his beverage of choice but he had had far worse.

“This garden is beautiful Roman,” Janus said after a few moments and he heard the pleasant sound from Roman chuckle a little.

“I know, right? That’s what sealed the deal, actually. Remus always wanted something like this and that’s why we came here.”

“I should be grateful for this greenhouse then.”

Roman nodded lightly and looked around for a few moments. Janus studied him. Studied the how exhausted he was and how much more relaxed he seemed nevertheless while sitting down here. While having some distance to the mess that his life was right now.

“So, what did he tell you?”

Janus blinked. Roman was grinning and looked down to his beer can. Janus frowned and caught the mildly worried look from Roman. Only then it clicked in his head and he understood what Roman had wanted from.

“What Remus has told us about the two of you?” Janus asked carefully.

Roman nodded.

Janus sighed and drove over the brim of his hat.

“Yesterday night he told us how you fled from your parents’ house. And about the accident.”

Roman was grinning back down to the floor and nodded a little.

“I’m not even surprised,” Roman said after a few moments still not looking up but the grin clearly transferring in his tone. “He really needed to get that out. Did he also tell the part where I miraculously woke up after three days and wanted to walk around?”

Janus said nothing for a few seconds and Roman looked up. He seemed to be oddly relaxed.

“He did,” Janus confirmed while placing on of his hands on his cane to distract himself a little from the tension. “He also praised how you sacrificed everything for him to help him get proper hearing aids and learn sign language.”

“Figures. He always loved that part of the story. Where I’m the hero and not the guy who crashed the car.”

“… You seem to be oddly unaffected?” Janus said after Roman’s matter-of-factly comment.

Roman simply shrugged, back at staring down to the ground and answered: “Well, I don’t remember most of it. Like any of it. Before the crash; gone. And after I was pretty sedated for quite a bit so it’s all fuzzy. I’m sure he mentioned that.”

Janus despised this. He hated that Roman talked about something like this as if it was nothing more than a mediocre school trip from third grade. He hated that he didn’t get the sense from Roman that he was lying. He wanted Roman to be lying, wanted him to say how bad this had hurt him. And yet he didn’t. He just seemed fine in the soft light in this greenhouse and something turned and twisted in Janus’s stomach.

“He did, indeed,” Janus said reluctantly after a few seconds.

“You know what he didn’t tell you?”

Roman’s shoe scratched over the floor as he asked the question.

“What?”

Roman took a moment to catch his breath and Janus focused on the rapid changes of his mimic. But he was not fast enough to catch what it had been about, as Roman soon began to speak.

“When I woke up after the crash. In this bed, connected to all those fussy tubes and machines. I was … at ease. For the first time in months I was at ease when I woke up. Because for months I woke up every morning scared to death that our father would find out. That today was the day where he would throw us out of the house or hurt us even worse than he already did. And in this very moment when I opened my eyes, I knew that Remus had gotten us here. That he had executed the plan I set up. That he got me out, called the ambulance or whatever, because I would have been dead had it not been for him. I just knew I would have. And I knew he had stopped them form letting our parents get us. I knew. And I was right. They never got us. We were free, for the first time in years and I was so relieved.”

Janus just stared at Roman. Stared how he took a sip out of his beer and then finally looked up to him. With teary eyes but a smile which could not be fake.

“That’s why he’s my hero.”

 Oh.

Just oh. And at once Janus understood where exactly he had seen that look before and made a note in the back of his mind to call and check on Latona one of these days.

Janus forced himself to smile a little and nodded at Roman. He understood. There was nothing for him to add, nothing to say more. Not now at least.

They sat there for a bit longer. The air was warm and the evening relatively quiet. Just like a summer Monday evening should be, they supposed. Janus let out a drawn-out breath and Roman watched him do so. They exchanged a grin.

“What else did Remus tell you? He said he told you stuff at today’s lunch?” Roman asked now in a rather suspicious tone.

Janus grinned. He knew how much elder siblings liked to embarrass the younger ones with stupid stories. For once he was not the victim of those tales though and as of now, he was quite happy with that.

With a smirk he retold the two tales of the museum trip and the fight Roman had gotten in and watched how Roman visibly cringed at all the details and eventually just buried his head in his hands. When Janus finished Roman let out a mockingly pained groan. Dramatically he threw his head back to which Janus could not help himself but laugh at.

Roman got up and flustered walked a few rounds around the flower boxes while mumbling quietly to himself.

“I can’t believe him!” Roman said after a while clearly not as mad as he wanted to be and turned to Janus. “Dares to tell me that I need to let go of the past and then tell such silly stories about me! Especially the tooth one! It’s terrible!”

“I wouldn’t say terrible,” Janus argued with a smirk, “more like amusing. At least in retrospect. I can understand that must have been terrifying the day it occurred.”

Roman nodded vehemently and gesticulated quite a bit before he sat down right where he stood on the cold floor criss-crossing his legs as soon as his bottom touched the floor.

“You have no idea!” Roman said and continued gesticulating agitatedly. “I was so sure I’d get expelled that day, which would have been a guarantee for me having to repeat this miserable school year. If it hadn’t been for Mamá who somehow managed to get me out of this mess I-”

Roman broke off. At once he looked terribly sad. Concerned Janus thought about standing up and getting to him, as Roman suddenly continued talking.

“I haven’t… I haven’t talked about my mother for so long…”

Janus waited. But nothing came. He stood up, let his cane lean against the table and walked the few steps towards Roman. He stretched out his hand for him. Roman looked up. He was perplexed. He had not seen him walking up to him.

“What is up with her? You can tell me.”

Roman hesitated for a moment. Then he took Janus’s hand. Just felt the warmth and the comfort in it. The little bit of trust he had been granted.

“Don’t tell Remus, but I miss her.”

Roman stood up and let Janus hold onto him as he led him back to the table.

“She wasn’t the best Mamá but she loved us. I know she did. She should have tried to speak up to our father, I know. But she was scared too. She was also a victim. I know it doesn’t excuse the abandonment. I get that. And she never came to look after us after we were gone. So, I know I shouldn’t be hoping anymore. I know. I just. I just…”

“You just miss her.”

They stood in front of the little table. Janus looked up to Roman, his eyes filled with understanding. And Roman felt himself relax. He let Janus sit down on the chair and sat down on the floor in front of him.

“Can I hold your hand?” Roman asked.

Janus smiled.

“Of course.”

And then Roman held his hand while sipping on his beer and eventually leaning his head against Janus’s good knee, while letting his thoughts run wild for a moment.

___

@varthandi

@sickeningly-deceitful

@sammy-is-obsessed / @exhaustedfander

@unoriginalgayboyalex

@alexisrealgay

@softie-sushi

@wolfs-feder

@just-a-neoclassical-painting

Tagged for this fic:

@frawkeye

@arodynamic-enby

@espepspes

@bullet-tothefeels

@fukindork

@shadeofadye

@magic-but-its-green

@croftersjam15

[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Amusing! Chapter 1, part 2.

«And this, you mother fucker, is why we can’t want nice things. There is an actual risk of them becoming true, and then we will fucking panic because we don’t know that to do. Did you want kisses? There are your cursed kisses, you whiny! And you can’t kiss back nor pet or…or… Fuck this shit. »

Silver is trying his best, Shadow is still very confused, and Sonic…He´s in there, somewhere…

(Working title and summary. Going to change them when I have something more solid to put in.) Even though only Shadow and Silver appear in this chapter, Sonic is in there. He is going to appear in the second chapter. So, yes, this is a triple s.

Part One  Chapter 1 on AO3 

It was chaste and sweet. Their lips met with care once and once again, slowly as if in a dance. Their posture was a bit awkward, with this of Shadow having his mind set on not moving from his spot, but they made do.

Silver deepened their kiss, then, and Shadow smoothly took the control of it. He wasn’t brusque, nor aggressive. It really wasn’t a fight for dominance, even though it actually (Mh? Kinda?) was. Just not in Shadows side. He just…calmly took over, as if it were the way things were and there was nothing to do about it. Just accept it. It made Silver whine and squirm on his insides because Shit, it was hot. The little nibbling on his lips, the graze of fangs and the wet met of their tongues, the texture of Shadows mouth, the little gasps… It was infuriating, how even now Shadow insisted in keeping things calm yet passionate. Was it even possible to kiss like that? Keep things chaste.

Yeah. Great idea. If you want to end up bald.

It made him whine and fidget, which is a Bad™ idea if you are kissing with Shadow. The ebony parted from their kiss, a little frown appearing on his face at seeing how Silver seemed to just…lean forward, as if losing his balance… or maybe searching for more?

Well, Silver was looking at his lips and basically pouting…So, It was a big maybe? Ah, what did he know.

—Is everything okay? — He asked, and Silver found himself tempted with answering “No, we aren’t kissing anymore, how can things be okay?” but restrained himself in time. It was more a thing that Sonic would say, anyway. (And how could he said that without cackling is still a mystery to both of them, truth to be told.)

—Yes. — He breathed, touching his forehead with Shadows in a loving manner. Something occurred to him, however, and Silver perked up almost instantly, much to Shadows amusement. Great Chaos on earth, what was he supposed to do with these two big dorks…and their inability to stay put!? — That wasn’t a smile, you know?

—No, It really wasn’t, now was it? It certainly made me want to, though.

—Maybe we should do a repeat, then, see if we can get that smile out of you this time…

Shadow snorted, half a smile curling his lips and shoulders shaking with barely repressed laughter. — What the--What was that!? Silver!

Silver definitely was pouting this time.  

Shadow couldn’t help it, he broke down in a fit of loud silly giggles which Silver promptly joined. He took hold of Shadow wrist though, knowing well the tendency of his boyfriend of lifting his hand to his mouth while laughing. He was not disappointed when not long after he felt a very small tug and shift under his grip. You see? He was paying attention!

Once both of them calmed down, Shadow shot him a grateful glance, accompanied with a tiny grin that had Silvers heart melting and his whole body preening because, Happy mate? He looked like an absolute idiot in Shadows eyes, flushing face and wagging tail and…Ah, there goes the heart burn once again. Really, can’t you tone it down a bit? For real, brain, stop with the drugs.

There isn’t a real lot to do, isn’t it?

He rocked on his tip toes, before landing a quick smooch of his own on Silver warm cheek, falling back on his heels and turning, as if something had gained his attention and, well, something certainly did. He almost spluttered. — Is that the time!?

His paralyzed by the shock boyfriend came back to his senses, stuttering and confused and happy of course he is happy what the fuck and really really surprised and- - Silver loud whimper scared Shadow.  

He felt almost cheated by life.

—It is not fair! — He exclaimed, falling hard on the ebony’s strong back, poking at his sides and tummy and doing sad noises because it really wasn’t fair. — Shadow! Shaaaadow~ — He whined, trying to get his boyfriend attention back. — Why did you--It wasn’t fair! You can’t do that! Why? You can’t just be so cute like that and kiss me and then change the topic so-so…Horribly! It was catastrophic!

Shadow just huffed, rolling his eyes at the dramatics. He waited a little until the agitated hedgehog calmed down a bit, his frantic rambling quieting before he spoke: — First of all, I did not change the topic. I am surprised by how quick has the time passed. It is somewhat late, and if you can’t remember, I am in the middle of something--that yes, I need to finish before I go to sleep. Second of all, if I were to really try and change the topic I would at least try my hand at subtleness. Or just outright scream. Third but not less important… I am not cute. I am not, was not, and will not.

—Hm, Shadow… But, you are cute.

—What? I… Do not.

—Do so.

—Do not.

—Do, so!

— Do not! Ah, I’m not discussin´ it with you!

Silver laughed openly at that, and Shadows ears flickered in annoyance. He pecked the ebony neck before rubbing his cheeks on. —You are right about something, though.

—Of course I am.

—It is getting late. —He kept going on, ignoring Shadows input. He squinted at the entry of the kitchen, straining his ears to hear the soft muffled sound of the TV. He wondered if Sonic was still seeing the DVDs he had gotten him that very day, if he was waiting for them to go to sleep, or if he had gone already and was in bed. He hummed, tracking his fingers up and down on Shadows tummy, feeling the muscles quiver and his tail squirm (One of the few tells he had, and not always that reliable.) thanks to the sensation. He also saw the dirty glare the ebony throw him, but he was so used to them and knew that there was no real threat behind it, so he didn’t paid any attention and kept petting him as he tought. — Do you still need to do a lot of things? How long will it take for you to be finished?  

—I need to finish with this, and do the final step before I can put it on the freezer. That will take a while. Then I need to clean, and check the fridge. Fill eh…—He trailed up for a second, before thinking “what the hell” and keep on talking. — fill my thermos for tonight and the two for tomorrow, also leave things ready for when I wake up and need to do breakfast. While I am at it, I guess I could also check the windows and the door. The balcony, as well? I really should check the bathroom, though. I really would appreciate not waking up to an annoying flood once again. I just can’t explain how they keep happening…  

Silver winced, grateful that his mind was a safe place, and with it, the reason behind how the “mysterious floods” keep happening would remain far from Shadows reach… However…

—I think that…No.

—Excuse me? — Shadow blinked, because he really wasn’t expecting that as an answer? Just, what exactly was Silver saying no to? It didn’t sound like he was cutting himself short or something like that.

—I said that no. I’m so sorry, but I don’t think that is going to roll. We both need to sleep, don’t you remember? When do you plan in doing so, at 3 of the morning just to wake up at 5? No sire! I don’t… how about this, Hm? What if you let me help you--Shadow let me speak--and then you can finish up earlier? Before you -No. No, shut. Shut. Shadow, no. Keep your mouth shut. Shut. Stop… Don’t you dare open your mouth. Shadow. No. — He sighed, putting his hand on the other lips and pouting a bit, because, blessed chaos, he was trying to help.— What would you do--I swear that if you try to bite me once again you really aren’t moving out of bed tomorrow morning, fast healing or not. Your pride will not be the only thing sore.

Wisely, Shadow kept calm, lowering his ears slowly as if to show his distaste at doing so? But doing it anyway. Silver sighed once again. Really, was this what he got for his efforts? — Now that we are calm, and for your own good, we behaving, what I was going to say? Ah! Yes, yes, Just, think it, ´kay? If I were really busy, wouldn’t you help me? Even if it’s a silly thing, and you are really annoyed with me, you would help me at the end. You can finishing to do your thing, and I can… I dunnu, Check the windows you said? Oh, I know, I can be washing up the dishes! Or, Uh, What you aren’t going to need anymore, I suppose. —He muttered belatedly, remembering that Sonic did the dishes of the dinner.

Or well, actually, just a half of them, as he had rushed to the entry to retry Silver messenger bag and gotten so excited with his gift and his chattering, that when he blinked and remembered that he had been doing something besides smooching and chocking Silver to death, Shadow was finishing with the last of the cups. Sonic indignant and slightly distressed squeak and the honest to Chaos expression of complete confusion Shadow shot back had made him laugh until his belly hurt. Sonic looked like a feral and cute mad kitty ready to pounce with all of his might (And he was using kitty because this was the safe territory of his own mind where he could compare his boyfriend with a kitty and call both pretty as much as he wanted and be freaking thirsty and whatever he felt like. Fucking free will and speech, yes.) And Shadow like a very lost scientist trying to understand an alien or a really troubled mathematician that was trying their hardest to answer a very complicated problem.

Oh! That made him remember something…Damn. How could he distract Shadow now?  

— I don’t … really know where all of this is coming from, Silver. And, it is just that, ok, it is getting late, but it’s not yet. You can go to bed without a fuss, and when you expect it the least I am going to be there. Aren’t you overreacting, even just a bit? Besides, it is not that much anyway, and this is something I do everyday, by myself, so… —His voice trailed off, both eye ridges lifting and then falling. It was his routine by this point, whoever house they were in, or hell, even if he was by himself. He always did so. Though now that Shadows thought about it, the days were he was completely alone kept getting lesser and lesser by an alarming rate. What the fuck? A disappearing was in order into two days. Or maybe could he managed it for one? But then, for how long will he be away? It couldn’t be that much, either…

He refocused just in time to catch his boyfriend frustrated pout, and he leaned in a bit almost by instinct, Silver bending immediately and letting him rub their noses together in his usual act of comfort. Unknowingly, Shadow seemed to relax slightly in Silvers hold, something that had and most likely will always have the younger one chirruping lowly under his breath in a very pleased manner and relaxing as well. The reason was a rather simple one, as straight as just saying that he treasured and could very well live for this kind of interactions with all of his loved ones and didn’t have any shame in saying or demonstrating so, unlike some others.

The ebony breath stuttered at the sounds, and for a second Silver though that he had fucked up immensely, but Shadow continued with the gentle caress, carefully looking into amber eyes before speaking. —I am…Not denying you, Silver. Not to say that this is not something to be upset about. I would be mad if I got angry because this. It is just, ah, you… helping me, I guess? It is, kind of nice of you. Thank you for your concern.

Well.

That was just lame. Fucking Chaos.

— Yes, Yes, Die of laughter, why wouldn’t you?

[lordseochangbin]

room nine- h.h.j

a/n: ok sorry guys this is long only because i wanted to add some narrative haha. 

warning: smut, anal, lots and lots and lots of dirty talk omg. this is probably one of the most dirtiest things i’ve ever wrote and im surprised its not about changbin sksksk

»»————-　♡　————-««

from high school nerds to the most popular instagram users-- your school had it all. known for academic excellence and most drug addicts, lordseochangbin high school [my inspiration is wack im sorry] was almost like it’s own city. cafe’s and restaurants filled the lunch area’s and a small police station near the corner ensured it’s safety.

you were no part of this typical society however, you in fact were like the small crumb that fell from the loaf of bread that we call “the social status”. at the top of the social triangle, or piece of bread i guess, was the queen of all churches and god’s brightest angel- jennifer. jennifer in fact didn’t seem too holy when she wore those see-through tank tops and short plaid skirts to amuse her fuckboy, hwang hyunjin. you’re probably thinking, “oh this is way too typical--” and that’s because it is. hyunjin at the top, you.. somewhere in the bottom. 

anyways, it was finally winter break which meant the annual “party at the hwang’s” but word has it this year his little girlfriend wasn’t going to be there. that’s right, jennifer was going on vacay. this meant everyone was invited to hyunjin’s party, something that jennifer would’ve disapproved of if she knew. “come on y/n! just put a little makeup on, you’ll look gorgeous” you rolled your eyes at your friend before finally obliging, “finee, let’s just go and come back”. you closed your eyes as your friend applied some eye shadow and did some finishing touches, and after a couple outfits you finally decided on a black dress and thigh-high boots. 

“how do i look?” you said, doing a little twirl to show off the outfit.

your friend slapped your shoulder, her last drink obviously taking its toll. “fucking sexy, now lets go!”

»»————-　♡　————-««

the hwang’s mansion was huge, music blasting through the roof as you walked in. in the midst of time, all eyes turned to your beautiful figure, quickly acknowledging the arrival of a beautiful stranger- little did they know it was the shy girl in the corner of science class everyday. the makeup bought you some confidence, something you wished you had when jennifer bullied you everyday.

in hyunjin’s eyes she probably looked like an angel, but to you and everyone else she was worse than the devil. now that she wasn’t here you decided to let it all go. the trauma of having to pull out garbage from your hair to cleaning your soaked p.e. clothes, you decided to forget them on the dance floor. 

grabbing a drink from the servant, you noticed a note with a number reflecting on the disco lights. this caught your attention, forcing you to finish the drink and turn the cup around. on the bottom it read, “you’re invited to room nine”

“room nine?” you muttered to yourself, looking up at the top floor of the mansion home. you noticed each door was in fact labeled, the number nine of the detailed door almost glowing and compelling you to come inside. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

before you knew it, you found yourself opening the door to room nine. your curiosity got the best of you and now here you were, no one knowing your whereabouts as you secretively stepped inside.

“welcome” a somewhat familiar voice said. you turned around to see hyunjin sitting on a love sofa, one hand patting the seat next to him for you to sit down.

“thank you” you replied, sitting next to him with your voice soft and gentle. you weren’t sure of his intentions, which actually frightened you considering he was your bully’s boyfriend. did you do something wrong? hurt jessica in some way? concerns of what hyunjin was going to do to you filled your thoughts before he could continue.

“no problem, how are you?” he rested his chin on his hand, facing towards you as you adjusted your dress in your seat.

“im doing alright, yourself?” 

“im great, just horny as usual” he casually replied. these words ran through your head in a millisecond, sending spirals of hormones through your veins and making you more eager than ever. 

you took a deep breath as you quickly processed what he could possibly be suggesting. hyunjin wouldn’t fuck with the school’s outcast, he’d wreck his reputation. unless... he didn’t know it was you. maybe he thought you were someone else with the fancy attire, decent makeup and somewhat overflowing confidence. 

you sat up straight, placing a hand on his thigh before giving it a squeeze. “you need help with that?” you asked, looking him right in the eyes.

“well, if you offer i cant refuse” he said, adjusting himself in his seat to be comfortable. “you enjoy helping strangers?” he asked.

god, he really had no idea who you were. you took a deep breath before accepting the fact that you were merely a stranger to him before putting on your facade.

“i don’t usually make this offer, if that’s what you’re asking” you replied vaguely.

hyunjin leaned back on the couch, his hands grazing yours. “why am i so lucky then? you’re making me curious now” he pouted

“hmm.. let’s just say i know a good guy when i see one” 

to your surprise, hyunjin got up. he walked over to the bed behind the sofa stripping himself until he had the bare minimum. you sat in shock as he freed his throbbing dick from his blue jeans and watched as he sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“is this what you call a good boy?” you got up from your seat, a chuckle leaving your lips as you watched him pump himself. “i can tell you’re gonna do such a good job” you whispered seductively in front of him

hyunjin looked up to you curiously, “i thought you’d be the one doing a good job” a smirk formed with hyunjin’s lips as he watched you fall on your knees to him. “let me show you what i can do” you licked a strip down his angry red member before taking it in your mouth whole, your hands pumping anything that couldn’t fit. you felt hyunjin’s hips buck, slowly thrusting into your mouth as desperate grunts left his plump lips.

“fuck” he cursed, his nails digging into the comforter as you bobbed your head.

you sucked him off, standing up to raise his chin. “i never fuck with boys at parties, but look at you.. got me like your little slut” you said, your thumb brushing over his blush cheeks.

his hands wrapped around your waist as you fit in between his legs, your core throbbing from the heat and impatience. “im not complaining, you’re sucking so nicely babygirl” he replied as he ran his fingertips up and down the sides of your arms.

“though you could take this off” he suggested, tugging the bottom of your dress

“is that what you’d like daddy?” you said, pulling your dress up to give him a peek of your erected nipples

“mmm.. yes” he helped you get rid of your clothing before you were in between his legs again, his hands grabbing your ass

“you have such a nice ass.. do you appreciate anal?” he whispered, both his hands squeezing your ass tight so you were right against his body.

you leaned down so your hyunjin could feel your breath near his ear. the feeling of hyunjin teasing his member so close made you speechless but you managed to regain some strength to whisper back, “w-with you.. i’d love to”

“really? don’t stutter. give me a reason why i should” he said, spanking your ass so you knew it’d leave a perfect hand print of his till the morning.

“b-because you want it too” you replied hesitantly

“mhmm” he hummed, “you want to take my fat cock in your ass? i’d love to fuck you.. you’re so beautiful” he said, placing you on his lap

you jerked your hips against his, grabbing his hair as he assisted you in riding him. “i love it when you ride me like that babygirl” he held a tight grip on your waist making you whimper and you felt your stomach turning all kinds of reds and blues. 

you took a second to step back however, looking at hyunjin as he looked back at you. he was handsome, you had to admit. his hair stuck to his forehead, his face glistening in sweat, and the way his eyes closed in pleasure as you sped up. you pressed your lips against his, humming into the kiss as he laid on the bed and got on top of you.

he kissed your whole body up and down, you finding yourself squirming in pleasure as his touch cools you down. his hands roam around your luscious  curves before lifting your legs so your lips can meet again while his dick rubs against your pussy.

hyunjin slowly penetrates though your wet walls, stretching them with his swollen mushroom and sucking your tongue.

the feeling of his cock inside you makes you grab his hands, something the both of you weren’t used to, as your fingers intertwine. hyunjin wasn’t complaining about his however as he shoved more and more of his member down your pussy, stretching it to shape his thickness while you moan into his mouth.

“god, you’re so tight” hyunjin pounded your pussy harder, his balls slapping against your ass and you grab his hair as you feel his walls clench around him.

“you feel so good inside me” you whispered into his neck. hyunjin could simply stare into your eyes while kissing you, his fat cock pounding you faster and harder with every touch.

“it seems youre enjoying my dick after all” he said, you humming in agreement

hyunjin pulls out, taking a second to move your hair away from your face before gliding his dick in your ass. he steadily forces his juicy bell-end against you to break in. “mmm” he hums, “ im gonna enjoy your ass so much”

he glides his member in your booty and pounds you while kissing you, “make me cum in your ass babygirl” he grabs your ass and lifts you up faster, enjoying how your big tits rub against his chest

“i’m gonna cum” he says, your eyes closing at the feeling of him hitting your sweet spot before you could unconsciously reply, “fill me up love”

“i already have a girlfriend you know?” he replied, his hands intertwining with yours again

“what a dick..” you suddenly remember jennifer, someone you didn’t want to think about tonight. but this facade of yours covered the outcast who was bullied everyday, and you wanted payback. “does she do you like this?”

“no.. oh god no. no one does it like you, but you call me love and i don’t wanna break your heart baby”

you smirked, knowing he liked what he was doing before hyunjin’s fingers could tighten around yours as he cummed inside you, your high following after. your deep breaths filled the whole room as hyunjin collapsed onto the bed. he still held onto you however, kissing your knuckles. 

“you make me feel so dirty, knowing you have a girlfriend already” you said, making him laugh

“i’m such an asshole, i cheat on her so much. don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“used to..” you lied, “now i just wait until someone decent comes along”

“well i’m sure as hell not decent” he said, running his fingers though his hair as the two of you stared at the roof

“and i surely wasn’t considering you either” you said with a smile on your face. 

“hmph, glad you could just use me as your sextoy”

“im sorry, weren’t you the one that said you were horny?” hyunjin threw his hands up in defense, “okay, okay then. thank you for helping me though. you wanna stay here for the night? let me get you cleaned up”

he got up, releasing his fingers from yours but you wouldn’t let go. “can we just stay like this? put on a movie or something” 

hyunjin smiled, “i don’t think thats how this works, but ill stay with you since you took me in so well” 

for the rest of the night you laid on hyunjin’s chest as his fingers brushed through your hair, the perfect feeling to fall asleep to.

»»————-　♡　————-««

on monday morning, your friends went to grab some coffee before the three of you could receive a notification. 

“oh my god, hyunjin broke up with jennifer !” you spat out your coffee, your friends rushing to grab some tissues. 

“y/n! are you okay?!” 

“i’m fine.. lets just go to class” you said, your friends grabbing your coffee for you as the three of you walked to the school

you parted ways with your friends, soon after being encountered by the one and only jennifer. “oh hey! look it’s my favorite outcast!” she said sarcastically, shoving you onto the floor. your hands were quick to hold you up, avoiding you from a tragic fall. you couldn’t help but to laugh however, if only jennifer knew you fucked her mans and got him to admit you gave him better sex. 

“no response? maybe i should just-” she raised her leg, making your eyes squint before someone could step in between you two.

he held out a hand, helping you up. “shall i walk you to class?” he asked, ignoring jennifer’s presence. 

“me?” you asked.

“yes, you dumbass. lets go” hyunjin dragged you away from the scene.

“you knew it was me all along?” you asked

“of course, what do you take me for? some horny fuckboy?” he sarcastically asked, making you laugh. “ i actually had a good time that night, lets go on an actual date next time” he said before stopping in front of your classroom.

“ill be here after” he said, kissing your forehead. “later” you replied. 

you watched hyunjin as he walked to his class, staring in disbelief. so maybe you weren’t an outcast anymore? or maybe you were just a lucky guest of room number nine.