#anyways think of the bobby and athena angst here

[mikhailoism]

kinda sad to me that there's no truck bombing aus where bobby was on the truck and he's the one who gets crushed........

[cantpickyourgenre]

I believe Bobby is coming back from the dead because I think we deserve to live in a world where Kenneth Choi gets to act his ass off by playing a simultaneously relieved/joyous and angry/furious Chimney, who feels like he has to thank Bobby, but also scream at him until his throat is sore because it wasn't fair to make that decision! he's going to say they should have played rock, paper, scissors and Bobby will chuckle because he thinks he's joking like silly haha Chimney, but Chimney is like "no, we should have discussed it, you died and I didn't even get to say thank you. you died and I owed you a debt I didn't even know about. you let me carry that" and he has to wrestle with the guilt of knowing that Bobby would do that for him, not just theoretically, but actual concrete proof that Bobby would die to save him. which they all know on some surface level that they'd die for one another, but it feels like such a far-off concept until it isn't. but Chimney also has to deal with the gratitude because Chimney is also so incredibly thankful that he didn't die. every step of the way he wanted Ravi, Bobby, Buck, and Athena to commit crimes, because he loves his life and he wants to keep living it. he's so overjoyed that he got to go home to his wife and kid, and that comes with its own guilt because how can he be so happy to be home when Bobby DIED. does that make him a monster? that on some level he's HAPPY that Bobby did that? and now he has to FACE Bobby. so he tries to be the Before Chimney who gets people whimsical gifts, but how do you give someone balloons about choosing your life over theirs? and he spirals because he's different now and Bobby is here and he has so so much he wants to say but all of it feels contradictory and unfair and he would normally go to Bobby for advice. so he does. he goes to Bobby and he says "what would you do, if you were in my position?" and Bobby just says "whatever you need to say or feel, I understand" and that just makes Chimney even more upset because what he needs is for none of this to have ever happened. its like they all got a re-do, but kept the memories and the feelings and now he has nowhere appropriate to put them. anyway, Bobby lives and we get Chimney angst yay <3 forever and ever.

[alloutofgoddesses]

S08E15 - Lab Rats

- Took a three hour nap the moment I got home from work bc I have a ~migraine~

- Which is why I am getting to this late

- Anyway

- Hey Moira

- Imagine being evil in a marshmallow suit

- Maddie sweetpea I am so sorry

- Hey FBI

- Buck lmao

- Why is Buck’s impulse control in El Paso when he is NEEDED here

- We all know how things get when things get personal for these two people

- Frankly I would rather them be here fighting with the literal military and FBI than Out And About

- Saw this coming

- I think in this scenario there are actually three crazy bitches

- OFFICER WILLIAMS

- LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO I love Officer Williams

- I wanna cry :)

- “Chemistry set” um. It’s a lab.

- Jesus Christ Athena

- Hello again Ravi ily

- Ravi NOOOOOOOOO

- Hi Karen

- She’s rocking back and forth Augh

- She looks so pretty though

- Well. About that.

- God has no power here

- Ravi is just taking a little nap

- Just vibes man

- Bobert Nash.

- Moira is such a fucking bitch

- I appreciate that they aren’t using Karen as an expert in all science

- Her knowing all the scientists makes so much sense too

- Not yet

- Don’t get Written up Chim

- Oh sweetie

- :(

- Nah you’re fine Chim

- See like I get that this would be more impactful if I didn’t know everything was going to be fine

- However, I can rarely handle actual angst, and angst with with a happy ending is my fav

- And I am Not in a position for actual angst right now

- Awwwww a FaceTime

- Madney !!!!!!

- Blood, blood, buckets of the stuff

- Oh boy

- Buck following Athena’s orders halscgisdlah he has grown so much

- Poor Hen she knows Exactly what’s happening to her bffl

- Not very well

- Girl

- Hey Buck my guy

- Up!

- Also just like. Let the FBI take it from here, you are making it worse for yourself

- Are you for real right now

- No shit Tommy

- As someone who also bleeds from the left the most when I get nosebleeds I feel Chim rn

- Hey look he’s fine

- Buck now is not the time

- Uh huh sure

- Hey other helicopter

- You see how you made this worse for yourselves

- Good Lord

- However. Imagine being so down bad for a guy you will Not end up with that you’re willing to do this shit

- Lmao

- Sorry this is Serious I am Serious

- It’s not maybe one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed

- Oh there’s no way she’s in there. She never even got in

- Wouldn’t you like to know

- KAREN TO THE RESCUE

- Athena is going in? Not Roz? I love this ridiculous show

- Only Angela Basset.

- That’s it that’s the sentence

- There’s clearly one person actually handcuffed here

- You would have already cuffed them if they were actually under arrest

- That’s great lady I’m sure you’ll get a plea deal and be out in less than a decade

- Now when does Bobby dramatically pass out

- I hope Ravi has someone to hug when he gets home

- Hey Buck

- Bobby why ain’t ya moving

- Rat!

- I don’t think you’re gonna be allowed to keep the lab rat as a pet unfortunately

- Bobby you and I both know he’s not gonna be okay

- AN I LOVE YOU !!!!! AND HE CALLED HIM KID!!!!!!!!

- If this wasn’t some weird ass fakeout I would be devastated right now (<- denial)

- The moment Bobby is alive again Athena is going to kill him (<- denial)

- Awwwwwww

- Time for Buck to Crash The Fuck Out

- And if anyone is gonna defy all logic, physics, and reality it’s gonna be Athena Grant-Nash

- Theyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- GOD they’re SO

- Soul! Mates!

- HOZIER AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- AND IT’S WORK SONG

- OUCH OWIE OW

- Ravi and Karen?! Gifts I didn’t know I needed

- I shan’t be crying everything is gonna be Fine (<- denial)

- But Work Song

- I need all of these people in a cuddle pile right now

- Buck looks so little he literally looks eight years old

- That’s just a kid losing his dad

- :(

- OW that last shot

- 10/10 acting Peter Krause

- 10/10 acting Oliver Stark

- 10/10 acting Angela Basset

- 10/10 acting Anirudh Pisharody

- 10/10 acting Aisha Hinds

- 10/10 acting Kenneth Choi

- 10/10 acting Jennifer Love Hewitt

- 10/10 acting Tracie Thoms

- And even though they weren’t in this episode (unfortunately) I know Ryan Guzman and Gavin McHugh would have ATE

[buddiesmutslut]

Rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words (feel free to interpret however you would like).

tagged by @kyoteugly, thank you sm, yapping about fics is my fav thing to do on here, I'll take any excuse to do so 😍

Most hits - Is happiness on the highway, or is it parked in a driveway? Post lawsuit angst, Buck's planning on leaving after the fight in the grocery store, but then Chris gets sick at school & some things change. I didn't realize this one had gotten so much attention, I really thought my BuckAbby baby fic was still the fic w the most hits, whoops lol.

Second most kudos - You help me find my fire OmegaVerse Buddie, written before Omega Eddie was canon, unfortunately lol, but still fun!

Third most comments - Golden Morning Sunbeams I LOVE THIS FIC SM. Not that I don't like the first two, but they were when I first started writing fics, so I feel like my style & the way I think about stuff from canon has changed, and this one is more indicative of where I'm at now as a writer, I feel? Anyway, Chris gets sick while in El Paso and calls Eddie bc as upset as he was, sometimes you just need your dad, and Eddie drops everything to get to his boy. Featuring guard dog Buck & meddlesome Diaz parents.

Fourth most bookmarks - Lonely Girl Buck discovering he has a teenage daughter fic oh, I love you so so much 😭 Takes place right after Chris Ubers to Buck's house, a teenage girl shows up at the loft, claiming to be his daughter, leading to some fun Buddie interactions, Buck pining while Eddie dates Ana (no Ana bashing in this fic). Idk, this fic is so so special to me, all of my buddie kid fics are. I love making those bitches dads again & again 😂

Fifth most words - It's gonna' take a lot to drag me away from you BUDDIE BLENDED AU. Buck & Eddie are two single dads w 2 kids a piece that end up taking a joint vacation in Africa after getting tickets from Bobby & Athena after a Bathena misunderstanding. Blended is one of my fav movies, it's so so so incredibly silly and sweet, and giving buddie four kids & putting them in Situations was so much fun, this is probably my funniest fic; I can't exactly take credit for that because I used stuff from the movie, but I still love it so much. I was writing this in the middle of the night for Summer of Buddie bc I was obsessed with getting it finished after not thinking I was going to have a fic for the romcom prompt lol.

Fic w the least words - Joy I also jumped on the post-Confessions Buddie getting together ep coda train too, I am only a woman lol. Eddie has the search for joy ringing in his ears & Buck is stuck on somebody other than Tommy being his last, and they figure it all out in only 798 words lol.

Tagging @sofa-king-lame (bc I love yapping about YOUR fics as well lmao) & anybody else who wants an excuse to share their fics & their rambling thoughts bc I always want to hear them 🫶

[pineapplehazard]

8x04 spoilers!!

Aaaaah i loved it, the whole thing!! I missed the silly interventions!!!!

- Henren : I'm so glad that Mara can finally go home to her moms and her brother!!!! (yes I saw the promo for ep5, but I'm gonna live in denial until next week (: ). Though I gotta say, why did they go outside with Madney and Mara that was such a stupid move 😐 (sorry).

- Gerrard: i do not consider this a redemption arc but shit, without him we wouldn't be where we are. I'm mad that he got an ending that is also satisfying for him, he SO doesn't deserves it!!!eurgh. The real reason everyone (mostly) is back where they belong is thanks to Bobby manipulating him but still, Gerrard shouldn't have a ending that he is pleased with eurgh.

Also how could Bobby do that to Brad? 😔💔 *sad british noises in the background*

- Buck : you perfect, intelligent man that you are giving Bobby a scare with the 'Little buddy' part of your bobby-therapy-session.....

- Chimney : looked so great, is so great, I love chimney, and it shouldn't but him with the gun did it for me!!

- Bobby and Athena : love that they're gonna rebuild, they could have had this idea around three months before though cause now they're gonna stay in that apartment for a little while longer... Also, I love Bobby being in love with Athena (and Athena with Bobby), they're adorable I love them

- Edmundo Diaz : first, I will never agree with Bobby on that mustache, I really really really appreciate it,, SO MUCH

Second, the angst is coming can you all feel it? I mean it's here already but a mountain of angst is building. Everyone's problems got resolved this episode, except for Eddie's one (and they couldn't resolve it so soon so that's normal but) meaning that at the end of the day, while The Wilsons and Hans were celebrating, and Athena and Bobby finally solved their house problem, (and Buck was... Idk ? Free of Gerrard? Can't really think of something here), and Wes and his father reunited.... Eddie went home and it was still just an empty house, because Chris is still in Texas and barely talking to him

So what if my heart broke when Wes called him Dad? Cause that's maybe the first time he's heard someone calling him that in a while...

On another note, I was worried he would go full Maddie-stalking-style with Wes' dad at first, maybe that's just because my brain loves finding parallels between Eddie and Maddie... Anyway, the whole talk with the dad about absent fathers, stupid masculinity stuff, and all. That was great.

'Masks' PROMO SPOILERS (i'm gonna try to stay evasive)

CAN'T WE LET THEM HAVE PEACE FOR AT LEAST ONE EPISODE??? ONE?? THAT'S SO F UP!!

Also I know it makes sense for ep4 to be 'No Place Like Home' but when next episode you have characters dressed like the Wizard of Oz's characters... Idk it feels like a miss, it doesn't sit well in my mind🤷‍♀��

If a 'friend od Dorothy' reference is made somehow throughout the episode I might combust

Also it feels weird that we got the synopsis so long before the airing and the synopsis focused a lot on Buck, when clearly the promo shows where focus might actually be... Bc when we have storyline like the one shown in the promo, usually you don't have to much time to put another character's storyline in focus in it. So Buck was probably to throw us, and he's just gonna be like believing there's ghosts or something like that...

Can't wait to know more about ep6 too!! The release date, stuff like that, I'm hyped!!

[theclaravoyant]

where i can't follow

AN ~ i am a monster, and this wouldn't leave me alone. be warned this is NOT a fix it fic, but an alternate ending to Lab Rats. extreme angst & MCD.

hen & chim centric

Read on AO3 (~1200wd)

where I can't follow

“Alright, Chim, let's go.”

Bobby shoves the sleeve of his shirt up roughly; it's the best he can do in thick gloves, trying to handle the syringe as delicately as he can with the other hand.

“How- how do I know where to put it?” Bobby asks. “I can't see your vein properly in this thing. I can't mess this up, we've only got one shot.”

“Ask the boss,” Chim quips, too drained now even to cough. He's pretty sure he's seeing triple at this point; he can hardly lift his head. He drags his eyes over to Hen anyway, to probe her for an answer, and suddenly everything pulls back into horrifying focus.

Her collapsed lung bubbles quietly away as her eyes droop closed, and her nose is bleeding.

Behind his mask, Bobby's eyes go wide as he glances between the two of them in panic. He doesn't dare put the syringe down, or leave Chimney's side in this dire state, but Ravi's there to leap into action. For all the good it will do. He helps Hen into a more supine position, and readjusts her arm to help her breathe easier, but it's not long before he pauses, struck by the realisation Chimney has just had:

“Cap,” he murmurs, full of dread.

“Damn,” Hen rasps. “I was hoping you wouldn't notice.”

Because the tube that has been helping her until now hangs loose; jerry-rigged beaker, the closest thing they had to sterile, abandoned in the effort to help him. She's been breathing exposed air, this entire time.

“What's going on in there, Captain?” one of the army mooks demands from outside.

There's a scuffle – Chimney likes to imagine it's Athena elbowing said mook in the face and snatching the walkie. He can dream, right?

“Bobby?” she pushes, as gently as she dares.

“It's two of them, Athena,” Bobby reports, and his voice is shaking. “It's both of them. Chim. Hen. I need another dose.”

It's been a long time, since Chim's heard him like this. Can't say he blames the man: there's no way he would have lasted this long without losing it. It might be even worse than to be on the outside, having to report -

“There isn't one, baby.”

“Can I give them both half?”

And then one of the scientists – Roz? Chim's losing track. “No. That won't work. I'm so sorry.”

Bobby closes his eyes, and looks up to the ceiling. Praying for strength, for a sign. For a miracle that's never going to come.

Chim closes his too. He thinks of Maddie and Jee and their little boy, and with all the force he can muster, pulls his arm away from Bobby's reach.

“Choose her,” he insists.

“No way,” Hen protests.

“Cap, I'm officially refusing care-”

“No, he's not!” Hen shouts him down – such as she can, with one working lung just barely holding on, and on the very outer edge of consciousness. She gestures, and Ravi does his best to manoeuver her closer through the debris field between them, until she can glare him down. “Chimney. Don't you dare.”

“Don't I dare? You were going to sneak off and die without any of us noticing. How could you do that to me? To Karen? To Denny? To Mara?”

He feels the knife twist in her, and he's sure she'd scream or sob if she had it left in her. He almost feels bad. Almost. But if it can get her out of here, he won't regret it.

“What about Maddie?” she counters instead. “You can't take her happiness away from her after everything. And Karen's gonna- Karen's gonna need her best friend -”

She's interrupted by a bout of coughing – at least, she would be if her body could physically cough. The rasping of her bad lung gets dangerously loud for a second. Her breathing tube, her poison, clogs for a second and spits bubbles, and for a horrifying moment, Chim wonders if they might not get a choice after all. He's about to watch his best friend on this earth die in front of his very eyes. And for all his love and all his training, the only thing he can do – and just barely even that – is reach out with every fibre of his being just enough to hold her hand.

“No,” he pleads, and the lump in his chest is nothing compared to the sting of hot tears against the cuts on his face. “Not like this. Please, please, not like this.”

They were meant to grow old together, is the thing. They were meant to take their kids around Grandpa Bobby's and she was meant to be his Captain and he and her and Maddie and Karen were meant to sip white wine in the sun while their kids played and grew up and went off to college and, and, and -

“There must be something,” he insists, squeezing her hand with all his pathetic encouraging might. “Come on, think of something. They can make more, right? They can make another dose. We just need a little more time.”

Another splitting headache shoots through him and the tissues at his nose can't handle the rush of blood. Bobby or Ravi shoves a towel in his face and Chim bats them away, as Hen's eyes flutter closed again, and she shakes her head.

“We don't have any more time,” she reminds him. “It's battlefield triage, Chim. Nothing personal. You have to give it to the ones who have a chance.”

Behind them, Ravi stifles a sob. Bobby is praying. Chimney wishes more than anything he could at least fucking cry. He would cut his own heart out, right now with his bare hands, if that's what it took. How cruel is the universe, that that's not enough. The only thing he can give her now, is relief. So he nods his consent.

“Okay.”

Bobby grabs his arm, more sure and forceful than before. The needle jams into his flesh without mercy, and he hardly feels it. He'd take it a thousand times, ten thousand times over this.

“Hen.”

“Chim.” She squeezes his hand weakly back, her own face slick with tears and sweat and blood and still she smiles at him. “I can't thank you enough for following me down all those hillsides. But don't you dare think about this one. Promise me.”

“I p- I promise,” he breathes, in case it will help. “I promise.”

“Good.” She nods. “'n tell Karen...”

“I will. I swear I will.”

What exactly, he doesn't know. It doesn't matter. What matters is that the pain finally seems to leave her body then – along with the strength to keep her eyes looking at him, and her hand in his hand. She slips away into rest, then, and he can already feel the serum taking effect over his body. It's as though his blood replenishes, his organs knit together, but he can't find it in himself to marvel. Only to sit up, and reach for her, and when he can't quite reach without toppling he lets himself topple, into Bobby's shoulder, and howls, and sobs, and cries.

[adhdevankinard]

My bestie and I were watching Sick Day and we came up with a theory related to Mr Bobby Nash. Full disclosure that this is delulu/clowning/we were wine drunk at the time (for added context, my bestie is Not a 911 stan, she has watched maybe eight episodes and she doesn’t know anything about the bts spoilers and I didn’t tell her) 

Anyway. Here we go clowns. Bts spoilers ahead.

So like a lot of people, we think Chim will receive the dose of antiviral that Moira has and Buck/Athena/Tommy find and retrieve. But Bobby will be exposed and there’s not another dose. Perhaps this is why Buck and Hen are seen sobbing in the teaser – they saved Chim, but in the end, it was Bobby they couldn’t save. There is no hope for Bobby. That’s that. 

But remember Polly the Rat? Who was the first test subject and received the first dose of the antiviral? We see Chim look at her when he makes his “rat in a cage” comment (at least I think it’s her). Our theory is that Roz will use Polly to recreate the antiviral. But will it be done in time to save Bobby? My bestie thinks so, but I didn't tell her about the bts photos.

With the added context of the bts photos, this could give them an out if they didn't want to kill off Bobby for good. if that one rumor about Bobby being buried alive is real (I'm sus about it), maybe the recreated antiviral doesn't work at first and the 118/Athena does actually think Bobby died. And it's only later that the antiviral kicks in and he is Healed and literally rises from his grave. Does this make sense scientifically? No. But the 911 universe is not bound by such petty laws. And that way, we can have the angst of the 118/Athena mourning Bobby whom they think actually died without killing him off for good.

Also, the episode is called “Lab Rats” so perhaps Miss Polly will have a larger role to play 👀 

[setmeatopthepyre]

9-1-1 tag game

so uhh I was tagged in this by a whole bunch of people (thank you!) ages ago but I kept. forgetting about it (sorry). so here we go! also heads up I am terrible at choosing a favorite anything bc I hate picking just one thing so. yeah.

tagged by @iphyslitterator @sorryimlatecapt @epiphainie @kinardtk @beanarie @sugdenlovesdingle

Rules: answer your opinion on these nine topics, then tag nine other people to give their opinion as well

Favorite Character: Buck / Chimney / Tommy / Karen

Character You Relate to the Most: personality wise, Chimney and Buck (also for the late bi awakening & adhd) with a side of Tommy socially. but also Eddie when he gets to be silly. I feel his dumb joke delivery in my soul.

Favorite Episode: I'm gonna go with my favorite from each season to ease the burden of choosing The Favorite(s) a little. so. uh. sorry for the wall of text lmao.

S1 E1: Pilot. It's got a little bit of everything and fuckboy buck is everything to me.

S2 E6: Dosed and E12: Chimney Begins. E6: I love a healthy mix of goofy shenanigans and angst, and the pageant scene is so fucking funny every single time. E12: I also love chimney (and tommy) and chimney begins is just such a fantastic episode. kenny is so good in it. there's eli! there's angst and joy and just such a satisfying emotional arc. it feels like a million things happen but nothing feels rushed and nothing drags. it gets weirdly trippy towards the end. it's great.

S3 E17: Powerless. this was a tough one bc s3 has a ton of episodes where I love some parts and dislike others, so they tend to balance out. but this episode has some fun calls and some really human moments I like, plus the angst of bobby listening to athena fight over the radio? goddd.

S4 E5: Buck Begins and E12: Treasure Hunt. what can I say, buck (and buckley sibling) backstory and love me anyway. also, shenanigans.

S5 E13: Fear-o-Phobia. mann there's so much angst but it doesn't drag or feel overdone and we really dig into the meat of some of their psyches and it's so messy.

S6 E7: Cursed and E11: In Another Life. E7: felisa and eddie had such good chemistry alright? also silly curse stuff and the buck sperm donation shenanigans! jesus I still can't believe that's a storyline we got. E11: yeah ok so I like buck-centric storylines (especially buck-and-bobby!). coma dream! chimney who is just on board right away! evil buck! angry bobby! yeaah!

S7 E4: Buck, Bothered and Bewildered and E5: You Don't Know Me. E4 for obvious reasons (the bachelor opening had me double checking I'd downloaded the wrong show, there's joshmaddiechimney shenanigans, there's harbor tour!!, tommy tommy tommy's so cool!!, buck acting a complete fool, eddie being an oblivious dumbass, ravi!, the top gun throwback basketball scene! the kiss!!), though god that call with the mistaken identity and the storyline with athena and harry are rough. not bad, just rough. and E5 has some of my absolute favorite scenes, like the 'so tell me about the hot pilot' scene between maddie and buck. it might be my most rewatched scene, period.

S8a E1: Buzzkill and E5: Masks. mann, I remember the optimism I had in e1! there's silliness, there's interesting plot being set up, there's still hope for the future, there's fun interactions... and E5 for obvious reasons but also because it just felt like a kind of old school fun theme episode with just the right amount of cheese.

Hottest Take: Season Six Was Good, Actually. idk i've seen a lot of people dislike it but I... don't know why? there's a few storylines I don't care about as much but there's some really fun episodes. oh on that note, the sperm donation storyline had a lot of potential and I'm sad we didn't get more of it. it could've been such a cool way to dive into different dynamics between characters we don't really know! there could've been baby shenanigans! medium-warm take bc I think a lot of people in my circles agree with it, but taylor is an incredibly interesting character (and they should've kept her on!). in my heart, there is a version of 9-1-1 where taylor didn't disappear after the break up but stayed as a recurring character and becomes best frenemies with buck (and eddie!) and it would be sooo good and provide sooo many fun plot opportunities. perhaps my hottest take: I think we as a fandom may be making too big of a deal about eddie moving to el paso. we don't even know if he's actually going. the looking at houses was a product placement and the show just loooooves to zig instead of zag it's more likely to me that eddie is gone for like one week so buck can be isolated for the maddie storyline and then he's back.

Favorite Lone Star Character: marjan, carlos, judd, grace (especially judd and grace together), paul. to just stare at: carlos and tommy.

Favorite Ship: bucktommy (and for lone star: tarlos and judd/grace)

Most Underrated Character: josh. underutilized by the show: karen, josh, eddie, chimney. i want karen & chimney to have plots outside of their romantic relationships, dammit. they both have unexplored depths! and let josh do more than give quippy lines and be the gay best friend/coworker. also i think there's so much potential in eddie as a character that is barely touched on and it keeps circling back to vague handwavy trauma which can be interesting but needs more room to get to be interesting imo.

Most Underrated Ship: (chimney begins-era) chimtommy, also eddietommy. so much opportunity for a game of emotional repression and comphet chicken.

One Thing You'd Love to See: where's that tommytommytommytommytommy gif? also see: underutilized characters. I'd love to see 118 side character shenanigans. just one episode with no mains (or they're on screen for like a minute).

lmao this became such a long post so uh enjoy. once I get going with opinions I just don't stop and like I said I can't pick favorites. :') not tagging bc I think everyone & their mom already got tagged ages ago but if you do want to be tagged go for it or send me a message & I'll tag you sneaky like.

[circledwithaheart]

Hippo! 💕

You must elaborate on your thoughts about Bobby meeting Marcy in the afterlife!

-❤️🪐

Happy to share the angst with you, beloved 💕 Take a walk with me.

A few weeks back Taylor Swift got to me (as she tends to do, especially in moments of despair).

All I could think about was Bobby accepting his fate, then meeting Marcy in the afterlife. Not quite heaven or hell, but in between. I’m attributing some of this to recently reading a lot with themes about the Gods and the Underworld. ANYWAY.

He’s ready as he’ll ever be even though he’s carrying a loss too. Of Athena and his Family. Marcy feels it of course. She’s been waiting for him but knows it’s not his time. She’s waited so long for him but it can’t be like this. She’s waited can’t let him stay here.

A snip below the cut if you like 💞

No, it’s the life. The voices he won’t hear. Even if they were fraught with sadness and anger, they were still there where he could be with them. Athena. Buck. The others were too far away but he felt them. Felt Chim’s guilt and anguish, like violent waves swelling and crashing on the shore.

Hen crumbled. Immediate cracks formed in her foundation, racing to undo all that makes her so strong until she had no choice but to fall apart.

Ravi became small, wilting like a flower. Shrinking into his grief as Karen did with hers. Two sunflowers turning to each other, seeking a warmth ripped away from them.

“And what about you, Bobby?”

The voice wraps around his body, cradling him. After all this time he would know it anywhere. Even here, in death.

[snarkythewoecrow]

is my will weak? am I posting another out-of-context snippet from my ever growing mpreg!Buck fic? yeah, I can't help it. I love this one and it's gonna be a long haul to the finish line (probably closer to 100k than 50k) and I just need all the cheering and excitement I can get, and it's gonna be such a ride, the hurt/comfort and angst, the emotional whiplash, the softness, and the enemy to lovers!

Anyway, this snippet is of Bobby and Athena just being the best, and I adore them both

“Is it safe to assume you brought him home with you?” Bobby asked, holding his coffee to the side so he could lean in and kiss his wife.

It might be late, but in his line of work, coffee became an all occasion and any time of day beverage.

Her lips quirked upward against his as she hummed. “Like you needed to ask.”

Of course, he didn’t. It was in her nature—family and pack were paramount in Athena’s life, as they should be, and when it came to Buck, there was no questioning his place with them.

He chuckled, pecked her lips again, then went to sit with his coffee on the chair beside her. “So?” he asked, taking a sip. “How is he?”

“You mean more like, is he, right?” She raised a brow, then sighed at his shrug. “Well, I think you already know, but yeah, he’s with pup.”

And then it was his turn to sigh, resting the mug on his knee. He’d spent the rest of the shift replaying the last few weeks, shocked by the emotions it stirred. The ache and guilt at what it could mean, and now knowing, his inner demons warred against his heart.

It was a strange thing to feel happiness for something but also such sadness, as he might be getting his first grandchild, but it was a reminder of another thing he'd never get to experience with his first pups, those he’d lost in the fire.

He turned his head, watching her for a moment, taking in her beauty and just being grateful for what he did have.

A familiar look, brow lifting came over her face. “What’s got you all heart-eyed, not that I mind?”

He shrugged, then smiled. “Hadn’t expected this, but I don’t know, I think you’d make grandma-hood look pretty sexy.”

“Grandma-hood?” she laughed, shaking her head, then fixing a look in his direction. “Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun? I haven’t even told you if he’s keeping it.”

Actually, he didn’t need her to—it was there in her eyes—but he played along. “That’s true, so, let me ask, is he?”

Another sigh, then an even softer smile. “He is—he’s scared half to death about failing—but then, weren’t we all like that the first time around?”

“Oh yeah, terrified, actually.” He sipped his coffee. “And the alpha? I mean, I’ve been thinking it over, and morning sickness is one thing, but I’m already a little worried about him developing issues from not having him around.”

And at the mention of the alpha, Athena’s jaw tightened, then a sharp scoff cut the air. “Alpha, more like some fucking piece of shit knothead,” she hissed, looking ready to show her canines. A shadow had settled over her face. “We talked on the way over here, and he told me some things he’d left out before—like that—that—scum had just yanked free, Bobby! He didn’t even care if he hurt him—just ripped free and fucking bolted.”

She took a controlled breath. “I’ll tell you one thing, he’d better not show his face near me, because I’m liable to tear him limb from limb—don’t think I won’t.”

Bobby put up his free hand in a show of surrender. “Hey, if I’ve learned anything, it’s not to mess with a pissed off mama when it comes to her pup. You’ll get no arguments from me.”

Athena nodded. “Good,” and then she smiled a bit, looking at him. “He is our pup, isn’t he? One of my babies?”

“Pretty sure you claimed him within the first day,” he bit back a smile.

“Yeah, I suppose I did—and now he’s giving us our first grandbaby. When did we get old?”

Shaking his head, he finished the last of his coffee, setting the cup on the table, then stood, wiggling his finger in invitation. “Come on, grandma—let’s take this to the bedroom. I have a feeling we’ll need the sleep.”

Standing, she bumped her shoulder into his side. “Sleep, huh? What—you worried I’m gonna break a hip?”

He kissed her temple, a little laugh escaping as he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Well… you’re the one that said we’re getting old.”

She slapped his chest playfully before pulling him toward their room. “We’ll see about that, Grandpa.”

[lavoixhumaine]

hi! I’m new here and I have ✨anxiety✨ about the s7 opener and its likely subsequent part 2 (let’s be real, they won’t let us rest after just one episode lmao) usually when I start loving a show, shit goes south in some way, between seasons 5 and 7. I’m all for close calls and the angst that follows—hell if I weren’t, this show would not be for me—but all the focus on Athena in the promos makes it clear to me that Bobby is the one we actually need to worry about. he seems much more likely to be killed off than Athena, ya know, because *gestures to Angela fucking Bassett* I think it’d be stupid for them to make that decision, but if it turns out Peter is ready to move on… any thoughts?

also you’re a wonderful writer, and I love everything you’ve done!

Hi there!

Before anything—welcome to the fandom! I wish so much you weren’t anonymous so I can welcome you properly, but I’m gonna do it anyway! Glad to have you here and it looks like you came just in time. 😉

Well, everything is pretty much up in the air right now. You could be on to something—that Bobby is who we need to worry about. They haven’t shot the episodes yet though and according to a very smart friend of mine, the promos were created by ABC’s marketing department who were probably just given a guideline or idea of how to promote the show and not the actual storylines.

It’s safe to say that right now ABC is prancing around like a happy little show pony flexing that they finally have the Angela Bassett in their lineup. So that might be why there’s such focus on her character. Despite what some people might feel, she is the show’s biggest and most recognizable name so they’re going to want to capitalize on that.

Personally though, I’d be excited if Athena is the one who will need saving this time. She’s been saving Bobby in some key moments and in a way, this could be his second chance. It’s not gonna undo what happened in Minnesota or bring anyone back but this could be his redemption moment.

Or, you know, this could just be my brain rot wanting drama for my blorbos.

Right now, we have Peter and Angela secured for the seventh season. I’m not fully familiar with PK’s history but he’s a television legend. He’s not someone I would think would just walk away from an active project. Angela—well, she has choices, but I’d like to believe that as long as her contract allows her to do her film projects while staying on the show then she would be happy to stay. They’re both executive producers and they seem happy with where they are. I’m hoping that when we get a season eight they will still want to return. Fingers crossed!

Thank you so much for being so kind and appreciative of what I have to offer. If you’re interested in chatting about the show or freaking out, my Ask is always open or you can send me a message. Let’s hope March will be as wonderful, wet and wild as Angela promised! 😆

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Guysss. . . I'm gonna hate him :')) :D

I am going to hate him 😤😤 I already do 😌😤

But like guysss :))

The racism and homophobia guysss :DD

The angsttt 🥰🥰🥰👀😏

No but I will want to kill him xdd I'm just going to enjoy the angst 😌 <333

Anyway Tommy or Buck I think you should kiss him in front of him

Him being the other and other him being Gerrard

Anyway xD

GET HIM 😤😤😤😤

Hate that man 😌🥰🥰

But dang what an episode y'all lol

A great finale for sure :D

Without having to have a huge disaster or anything too which is a cool way of switching it up :))

I mean it was still disastrous but you know xD

Also just, something I said like 15 minutes afterwards (though it took me a second to place the scene I was/would be talking about being the one of Eddie and his parents I just said it lol): Buck was too busy getting railed by his boyfriend

Family meeting 😔😔😔💔❤️ Should Chris go to Texas? Sidenote Buck's not here he's busy getting railed by his boyfriend 😔😔✊

Anyway still reeling that Tommy said that lol. Like. What. Did I hallucinate that xD. Oh my gosh lol o.o

Though I have by now seen a clip (thank you 911 tag 🙏), as I was desperately searching for, but that's how I was feeling right after the episode lol

Anyway xD y'all I'm nervous o.o but I'm so excited for the next season :D

I loved that ending and I'm sure I'm gonna love that beginning, idk it was just so "ahh crap." to me xD. And "at least we have each other" :). Plus I LOVE rebellion plots and when there's a leader in charge that we hate that's basically what it is 😌😌😌😏. Not to mention a leader who hates them lol. Because, again, angst 😌😌

Anyway xD

That's the last of my last thoughts, so now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I LOOOVED this episode!! It was so good oh my gosh. And real quick, just:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Y'all that was wild o.o

Anyway! I really enjoyed this episode. There were a bunch of cool moments and a TON of emotional moments my gosh :O 😭😭😭❤️💔❤️.

Okay, gonna head out for now!! See y'all in a bit (probably a few days lol) :D.

OKAY it's day of and I need to hurry sooo QUICK and I'll edit more later xdd.

Hen and Karen!! Y'all I'm still stressing for them but I hope we can figure it out soon and get that lady to back off 😭. They did great this episode, like Hen with her job and stuff (I'm sure Karen too)! I love them <3.

Buck (and Tommy)! Don't remember much about what happened, but I'm glad he was able to be there for Christopher :'). Also him and Tommy are adorable lol <33. He also did a great job :D 🥰 at his job of course. I love them <3.

Maddie and Chimney! Y'ALLLL not them fostering Mara like that 😭😭😭❤️❤️. I literally love them so much, they're the best <3. Obviously I hope she can go back to Hen and Karen soon, but for now, I'm just glad that she's in a good home with them close :')). They also did amazing with their jobs by the way <3.

Eddie (and Christopher)! Y'all 😭. I am not okay 😭😭💔. I will never be okay xd. I'm glad Chris is somewhere safe and doing what feels best for him but it just absolutely breaks my heart man xdd. I hope Eddie is okay as he can be (obviously he cannot be doing good right now but you know xd 😭) and just that this all gets sorted out soon :((. You did mess up though Eddie xd. Still, I love them 😭 <3. He did do great with his job though xd.

Bobby and Athena! I'm so glad they're okay 😭❤️🥰. But GOSH DANG IT I just wish Bobby had managed to get back in there in charge xd. I know I'm gonna love the angst of Gerrard being around but, as I said, I'm also gonna haaaate him xD. I'm gonna be fuming the whole time lol, any time he's around. It's a fun switch up, but I just hope it gets sorted out soon. Anyway, they were both icons and amazing as always with their jobs!! And I'm glad Bobby wants his back now xD. And I'm just glad that Amir (I think?) wasn't actually evil - it's good to see a character who doesn't like a main character but is still a good person. I appreciate that <3. Anyway, Athena was an icon as always and did a great job solving stuff <3. I love them <33.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode!! There were a bunch of sad and rough moments, but I love me some angst and drama lol. And there were also a lot of really great (not that sad bits aren't great) moments throughout the episode. We also got a fair spread (not too even, but we saw everybody at least a bit) for character focus this episode, which I liked, and tend to almost always appreciate :). I'm so excited to see what happens with everything!!

So, yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was great. A bit stressful, but great nonetheless. I'm excited to see what happens next season!!

This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 10: All Fall Down

It was amazing!! I'm a bit nervous for how everything's gonna turn out next season, because there were a lot of cliffhangers, but I'm excited.

I'll be back next time for my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 8, Episode 1!

See you then!

[libraryofloveletters]

Prompt: Buck and Reader are dating (maybe even engaged) before buck joins 118. Buck doesn't tell about reader at anyone in the station. Eddie could already be part of 118. And then buck gets hurt or something and they meet reader. Athena loves her and then can we have a scene of buck&reader with the fire kids.

Emergency Contact 

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of hospitals and injuries, a mention of pregnancy 

Category: Angst and fluff

Word Count: 3.3k 

Author’s Note: Italics is a flashback :) 

---- 

A house fire, a normal occurrence for the 118. They arrive, Buck and Eddie make their way through the house whilst Hen and Chim tend to the others. The family that lived there, the Smiths, couldn't find their daughter outside and figured she was still inside so they had gone in to find her. 

Buck and Eddie had spilt up when they got inside, Buck going left and Eddie going right. Eddie had found the little girl and managed to get her out of the house, her parents were grateful that he brought her back to them. 

“Where’s Buck ?” Bobby turns to Eddie. 

Eddie glances around, unsure as to where his friend was. “I thought he was right behind me, I swear I saw him on the stairs” 

Bobby radioed, “Buckley, come in” 

Before they could get an answer, there was a loud crash from inside the house. Eddie and Bobby run back in to see Buck on the floor of the kitchen, the ceiling had a massive hole in it and he was covered in dust. Buck tries to sit up a little too fast but falls onto his back. It seems like the floor had given out under him and he had fallen through. 

“Buck?” Eddie calls to him, checking his pupils. “Yeah, definite concussion,” he tugs on Buck’s coat, feeling his abdomen area. “At least 2 broken ribs, if not more.” Eddie looks up at their captain, his hand still gently feeling Buck’s abdomen.

Bobby comes over, grabbing Buck’s feet as Eddie sits Buck up carefully and loops his arms under his. The two men carry him out, Chimney rolling a stretcher over to them. From that point, Hen and Chim took over, checking his vitals and if they had missed any other fractions or broken bones. The ambulance pulled off first, Chimney in the driver’s seat and Hen in the back with Buck. The firetruck followed, both vehicles headed to the hospital. 

---

“Did anyone call Maddie ?” Hen breaks the silence filled waiting room. Bobby looks up at her, Hen speaks again, “she is his emergency contact, isn't she?” 

Something about that didn’t sound right to Bobby. He hadn’t been there when Buck started as a probie but he had gone over everyones forms when he became captain. He can’t remember who Buck’s emergency contact was but he didn’t think it was Maddie. 

“Does anyone have her number ?” Bobby asks, no one answers. “I’m gonna head back to the station, I'll give her a call and come back. If anything changes, let me know?” Eddie answers with a yeah and Bobby heads out. 

Once he arrived back at the station, he searched through the drawers of files - which truthfully, should be organized better, but that was a problem for another time. Once finding the file, his finger runs down the page. Maddie’s name was on the form but as a secondary contact. y/n l/n was the name listed as primary contact so he called this mystery woman. She answers after the first 2 rings. 

“Hi, is this y/n?” 

“It is, who’s this?” 

“I’m captain Bobby Nash with the 118.” 

“What can I do for you, captain ?” 

“You’re listed as Evan’s primary emergency contact.” there was a pause in the conversation, the line had gone silent. 

“Yeah, is he alright ?” the woman’s voice returns. 

“He fell through the floor during a call today. He has a concussion and a few broken ribs- one of the ribs seems to have punctured a lung and he’s in surgery now. I was calling to notify you, we’re at the hospital if you’d like to join us” 

“Thank you for calling, I'll be there soon” and with that, she hung up. Bobby still had no idea who this woman was or how she knew Buck. The lack of emotion in the call didn’t help him gauge who it might be. He pushed the thought from his mind and called Maddie - surely whoever this y/n woman was, was obviously important to Buck if she was listed before Maddie but Maddie was his sister and she deserved to know so he called her anyways. 

When Bobby returned back, Buck was still in surgery. He sat down just as Athena arrived. A box of donuts in one hand and one of those huge containers of coffee in the other, Bobby got up and helped her, not before pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

“You didn’t have to come by,” he tells her as he sets the thing of coffee on the table in the middle of the room, she gives him a small smile. “Buck might be trouble but he’s still one of ours. I’d show up for any of them, you know that” she nudges him with her shoulder softly, he smiles at her once more. Everyone gets up, helping themselves to the coffee and donuts that Athena brought- they all thanked her as they all know the horrors of hospital food. 

A woman walks in, she’s at the nurses desk which is across from where the team sat. She’s asking for Evan Buckley and the nurse points her in the direction of the team in the waiting room. She approaches, her hands shoved in her sweater pocket- rather Buck’s sweater pocket. Bobby had seen him show up to work in that very sweater a few days before. 

“You must be y/n” Bobby stands, his hand stretched out to her. 

“I am, you’re Bobby, right ?” your hand comes out to reach his, shaking it. It didn’t take long for Bobby to notice the large diamond on your ring finger. Your hand lets go of his, returning to its spot in your pocket. Bobby gives you a small smile which you mirror. 

“Everyone, this is y/n. Buck’s- sorry, I didn’t ask. How do you know Buck?” Bobby asks you, you glance around the room. Everyone's eyes were on you. 

“I’m Buck’s-” 

“Y/n!” a woman calls for you. Turning around, you see Maddie approaching you. “Mads!” your arms open as she gets closer. She embraces you in a hug, your hand rubbing up and back her back. 

“Did you hear anything yet ?” she asks you, letting you go. Shaking your head, “I just got here” 

“You know her too ?” Chimney pipes up from his chair, Maddie looks over at him. “Yeah, obviously. She’s Buck’s fiancee” she tells him, the entire room goes silent. 

You look over at your sister in law, “they didn’t know that yet Mads” chuckling, you pat her back before taking a seat across from a woman in a police uniform. Maddie’s eyes went wide, her mouth slightly opened in shock. “Sorry! I thought you told them” she says, sitting beside Chimney. “I was about too but you called for me” 

Everyone’s attention is on you, the woman sitting across from you speaks up. “Well, it’s nice to meet you” she says, “I’m Athena, Bobby’s wife” she introduces herself. 

“Ah, so the whole family’s in law enforcement huh ?” you smile, Athena chuckles. “Seems like it. What do you do ?” 

“I’m a nurse over at General” 

“I thought I had seen you somewhere before” Athena smiles.

The room goes back to quiet, the team talking amongst themselves. Maddie sat beside you and on her other side was Chimney, you had seen him for the pictures Maddie showed you when she started seeing him. Beside him was a woman, she wore glasses and had a friendly smile- Hen. Buck had told you about her and her wife, they seemed like nice people. Sitting beside Hen was a man, cute with somewhat of a resting bitch face- that was Eddie, Buck’s best friend. Buck practically lived at his house when you worked night shifts and you had also seen a million and one photos of his son, Christoper, who was the sweetest little boy on the planet from what you had heard. 

Your hand rested on your lap, your thumb pushing and pulling the engagement ring on your finger back and forth. 

“He must really love you because that’s one hell of a rock” Athena was pacing the room and was now beside you, her hand reaching for yours to take a closer look at the ring. You laugh, “it is, isn't it?” 

“I have to ask, how long have you two been engaged ? Because he’s never mentioned you.” 

“Oh I know,” you hum, “we like to keep things low key but um, it’s been 2 years since we got engaged. We aren't really in a rush to get married.” you tell her. 

“2 years? That’s a long time to keep a secret like that” 

“Yeah, it’s been a challenge- but it’s not like he didn’t want to tell you guys. He just didn’t know how. Oh you know how he is- actions over words.” 

You and Athena talk a bit more, she tells you how Bobby proposed to her on Christmas Eve. She showed you a picture from when they got married- her own massive ring adorning her finger. You told her about how Buck proposed to you. 

“Babe! The pancakes are going to get cold!” you shouted for your boyfriend from the kitchen of your apartment. 

“I’m coming woman! Calm down” he shouts back, his footsteps coming closer with each step.

Buck had the weekend off and so did you- a rare occurrence for the two of you. You decided that instead of going out to get breakfast like you normally would, that you would cook instead. Hence why you were up at 10:15 on a Saturday morning and why your boyfriend’s shirt that you were wearing, was covered in flour and eggs. 

Buck’s arms wrapped around your waist, your attention on the stove. His hands coming ups under your shirt to feel your bare skin, he was busy peppering kisses down your neck. You nudge him with your shoulder, “go sit down, I'll bring the pancakes over in a minute” you tell him and he hums. Pressing one more kiss to your neck, he untangles himself from you and goes to the table. 

The layout of your apartment was a bit strange, the kitchen was by the front door but the kitchen didn’t have much space so your table was closer to your living room than the kitchen and there was a wall blocking you when you were in the kitchen so you weren’t able to see the table. 

Now heading to the table with a plate in each hand, you were focused on not dropping the plates. That went out the window when you entered the room to see your boyfriend down on one knee with a velvet box in his hand. 

“Buck” you breath 

“Y/n, you are so amazing, you just- god, this is so cheesy but you really do take my breath away. Last night, I was laying beside you and I had this perfectly rehearsed speech that I was going to give you but it just doesn't make sense now. From the moment I met you, I knew you were special. You stood by my side and didn't complain when I worked long hours or didn't have time because I joined the fire department. You are the woman of my dreams and I would do anything for you. So I hope you would do me the honour of being my wife ?” 

“Yes, oh my god yes” you lean down to kiss him. Buck smiles, “baby?” 

“Hm?” 

“You gotta put the plates down” he chuckles, you hadn't realized you were still holding the plates. Setting them down, Buck gets up. The ring that was in the box was now in his hand, he slid the ring on your finger. Holding your hand up, you admired the ring. 

“I think this deserves a proper breakfast” 

“I don’t think there’s anything better than this” he pulls you in for a hug. 

Athena laughs when you tell her, “he ambushed you when you were making him breakfast ? This kid has no sense of the right time” you chuckles at her comment. “It was perfect. I don’t think I would have it any other way, you know?” 

The doctor comes in, he asks for Buckley and all 7 of you stand. “Wow big group. Okay- we were able to patch the hole. He’ll need to be off work for the next 3-4 weeks before he can even consider going back but he should make a full recovery.” a few breaths of relief were let out around the room. “He’s in recovery now, I can take you in one at a time. Who would like to go first ?” 

Everyone's looking at you and you glance over your shoulder. “Do any of you want to go ?” you ask, no one answers you. 

“Maddie ?” 

“I’m gonna get some air and some coffee and then I'll be there. Give him a hug for me” she gives your hand a squeeze, you smile at her. Following the doctor down the hallway, you pass multiple rooms all with different families and people with different injuries. That’s one of the things you enjoyed about the hospital- if you looked past all the sadness, there were so many success stories, so many happy families. 

Room 276 at the end of the hall was his. Buck was asleep, a few wires and such were hooked to him. Pulling a chair up to his bedside, your hand reached for him, holding it gently as your thumb rubbed the top of it. Your eyes drift to his monitor by his bedside, steady heartbeat and blood pressure. There was nothing to be concerned about yet you couldn't look away. 

“y/n,” a faint whisper left his lips, you glanced down at your fiancee, his eyes barely opened. 

“Buck,” you smiled, your hand coming up to touch his face. He nuzzled closer to your hand, turning his head ever so slightly to press a kiss to the palm of your hand. 

“Can I- water?” you let go of him to get the glass from the counter. Pouring some water in it, you stick the straw in the cup before holding the straw to his lips. He sighed and looked at you as you set the cup down. “I guess the secret’s out ?” he smiles, you nod. 

“Maddie let it slip, but I was about to tell them so it’s fine” you kiss his forehead. 

“Is everyone here?” 

“Yeah, in the waiting room. They all thought you’d look horrendous so I came in to check, lucky me right ?” you joke, Buck lets out a weak laugh before his hand comes up to his chest. 

“Ow, don’t make me laugh” he pouts, you smile at him. Sitting at the edge of the chair, your hand finds his hair, brushing it back softly. 

“Surgery isn't a good look on you” 

“Hey, I always look good” he pouts once more. 

--- 

The few weeks go by a lot quicker than expected and Buck is set to return to the 118 on Monday. Athena had helped you plan a little surprise get together for Buck but you had just told him that you were headed over to Bobby and Athena’s for the day because you were going shopping with Athena. You left home around noon and helped them set up all day and you called Buck around 6. 

“Hey babe, how’s shopping going ?” 

“It’s alright, we’re back at the house now. Bobby was saying that you should swing by, we could all have dinner together”

“Hm yeah, that sounds good. I’ll be there soon”

Now you wait. The entire team was already there, everyone scattered amongst the living room, waiting for him to arrive. He knocked on the door, Athena shouted for him to come in. He walked in, everyone waited for him to round the corner, the surprise evident on his face. 

“What’s all this?” he smiles, he makes his way down the stairs. 

“Welcome back” Bobby goes over to give him a hug. Buck makes his way around the room, saying hello to everyone. Eventually, he finds you in the kitchen with Karen who says hello to him and then leaves the two of you in the kitchen. 

“So did you really go shopping ?” he asks, his arm over your shoulder and your arm wraps around his waist. 

“Yeah but for party supplies” you smile at him, he leans down and kisses your head. Chris, Denny and Harry all come into the kitchen on the hunt for sweets that you previously heard Eddie, Athena and Hen all telling them that they weren't allowed to have. Of course they assumed that if they sweet-talk Buck that he would give them, and he did, he never said no to those boys. 

All three of them made themselves comfortable on the couch as Buck returned with a plate of cupcakes for them. Buck sat beside them, pulling you onto his lap. 

“Do you have any scars from the surgery ?” Denny asks him, looking over at Buck. “Yeah, do you wanna see ?” Buck asks, the 3 boys nod eagerly. You smile at them, Buck unbuttons the top of his shirt, pulling it to the side to show the boys the scar from the surgery. It was fairly tiny but still noticeable. 

“Woah that’s cool!” “Can I poke it?” “That’s weird looking” 

You and Buck laugh at the responses- boys will be boys. The 3 boys ask a few more questions and Buck shows them a couple other scars that he had gotten over the year, eventually they get bored of Buck and his stories and go off to find someone else. You leave Buck in the living room as he was talking to Maddie and Chimney. 

Now in the backyard, you and Athena were talking about when you'd actually go shopping when someone bumped into your leg. Looking down, you see Nia beside you, you pick her up and hold her, Nia sitting comfortably on your hip now. The two of you go along with your conversation and Nia cuddles into your side, you glance down at the little girl who was smiling at you, you give her a smile too. 

Buck’s arm wraps around your shoulder, he presses a kiss to your temple. “Hey,” he smiles before leaning forward to take a peak at Nia, “Hey kiddo” he reaches out to hold her hand, she smiles at him. 

“You 3 look comfortable together” Hen says as she makes her way over with Karen. Buck laughs. 

“If you’re open to babysitting, feel free to take the kids anytime” Karen jokes, you smile. “I might take you up on that. It’d be like to have an actual kid around rather than just Buck” you laugh, Buck pouts. “Hey! I’m not that bad” the 3 women all give him looks. Athena pats his shoulder, “that’s what you think Buckaroo” 

“Having the kids around would be good practice” Your fiancee thinks out loud. 

“Practice for what, darling?” 

“You know, one day maybe we’d have kids” 

“Oh not now? Not a fan of the whole pregnancy glow thing ?” 

“Oh I am, I do it right-” “don’t finish that sentence” you laugh, leaning up to give  him a kiss. You had a feeling that your fiancé’s family was about to become yours too. 

--- 

taglist: @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @venusrosepetal @luke-alvez  @caitsymichelle13 @averyhotchner

[luv-eddiediaz]

Just Some Monday Morning Angst

"Just make it stop!"

Eddie looks at Buck across the way. He's seen him wrecked beore, but this is different. This is pacing the length of the brick patio in Bobby and Athena's backyard like a tiger who's been caged too long, this is a desperate, volitiale tone to his voice that Eddie has never heard; this is Buck actually scaring him.

"Make what stop?" he asks him, as calm as he can manage.

"The feelings!"

"Buck, I want to help you here, but you're going to have to start making some sense."

I want to stop feeling about you!"

"Me?" That didn't make anymore sense than anything else Buck has been going on about since he walked in from the kitchen to the living room and dropped his glass of wine. The crash of glass pulled Eddie's attention away from Ana's lips, and he tried to help Buck pick up the pieces while Athena mopped up the the dark, red spot, but Buck told him to go away; yelled at him to go away, and then stormed outside.

Eddie followed.

"What do you feel about me?"

Buck snorts, "What do I feel? Well, Eddie, I feel the Earth move every time you look at me, and then you touch me? I feel like I'm on fire, and the only thing that can put me out is for you to touch me again. I feel like I am drowning in you!"

"Buck - "

"And I don't want to anymore!" Buck doesn't want to be stuck on this unrequited island of hell. He wants out.

"Buck - " Eddie repeats, because he can't think of any real words to say.

"I don't want to be in love with you anymore, because you are never going to love me back. Not when you have her," Buck motions toward the house where Ana is watching through the windows, just as everyone else is, "she's perfect." not broken into a million, little pieces that might not ever fit back together right, "and I just need this to end. Make it end!"

"Tell me what to do," Eddie says to him. Whatever it was, Eddie would do it. He'd walk through fire and over broken glass for Evan Buckley, all he had to do was ask.

Buck's eyes are rimmed red, and his face is stained with tears. Eddie's chest twists in agony, because he knows he's done this to him. He didn't know that he was doing it, but that didn't matter; he brought Buck to this place, and it was his responsibility to bring him back.

"Buck, tell me what to do," he repeats.

Buck finally stops pacing, a hole likely worn into the bottoms of his sneakers. It makes his heart ache, but he looks at Eddie, "tell me you love her, tell me she's it for you - that she fits perfectly into that empty space in your life, and that I'm delusional to have thought maybe I could."

"Buck, I- "

"Tell me!"

Eddie closes his eyes to let his own tears scroll down his cheeks. There is no empty space in his life. He thought there had been, but the truth is that Eddie's life was full of everything he ever needed from the moment he met Buck. He's just been too dense to notice.

"I can't do that," Eddie says.

"Why not?!" Buck's voice cracks with a sobbing whine.

"Because I won't ever lie to you. I don't love her, and she's not a perfect fit. Far from it, if her being in my life does this to you."

"But you should be happy."

God, why is Buck like this? Why can't he ask for what he wants? He wants Eddie to love him back, but instead he's asking himself not to. He wants to be happy, but more than that, he wants to make sure Eddie is, even if he isn't going to be the one to make it so.

"I should," He itches to reach out and soothe away all of Buck's pain; collect it in the tips of his fingers and carry it around so Buck never has to feel it again, "but you should too," he says.

"Then tell me."

"I said I won't lie to you."

Buck steps into Eddie's space, and clutches the lapels of his jacket, falling onto whatever last sword he has, "Please?"

Eddie dares now to touch him. He grips Buck's wrist, firmly to pull him off from his jacket, and crashes him tightly to his chest before Buck can protest. Buck doesn't want to; but he melts into the contact, shrinking himself down to fit better.

"Eddie, please," he says softly, "I can't feel like this anymore."

"I know." He runs the palm of a hand along Buck's back, "and I'm sorry that this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm going to say it anyway."

Buck's chest heaves against Eddie's full of anxiety, and heartbreak. He takes a deep breath, and screws his eyes shut tight while he waits for Eddie to say what he needs to hear.

"I love you," Eddie whispers into his ear, "I'm so fucking sorry it's taken me this long to get here, but please, Buck, don't stop loving me now that I am."

Buck sniffles into Eddie's shirt. He couldn't have just heard what he thinks he did; his brain was playing a trick on him, because it knows if he hears the truth, he's going to die right there in his friends' backyard.

"Buck, did you hear me?"

"I - I'm not sure say. Say it again."

Eddie softly laughs, and pulls Buck's chin away from where he's been digging it into Eddie's shoulder. He straightens him out to his proper height, and makes sure that Buck can see into his eyes, "I said, that I love you."

Buck's face erupts into a brilliant smile, cracking through all the sadness and fear that's taken up residence there for too long, and Eddie immediately kisses it into his own mouth; swallowing up all of that uncertainty.

They communicate very unspoken word from every missed opportunity until they can't breathe, and chase each other's lips before coming to rest on the other's forehead.

"I won't," Buck says, and Eddie knits his eyebrows.

"I won't stop loving you."

"Oh, good. I won't either."

They kiss again - be damned that they still aren't alone, that Eddie is going to need to run after Ana, and break up with her the way she deserves, because it isn't her fault she fell for someone who already fell for someone else.

But for now, he's just going to savor having Buck happy in his arms.

[wackybuddiemewbs]

Random Buddie Fic Snippets - no title, just (bad) vibes

Here’s to another snippet of things that ghost through my Word files. This one’s particularly headache-inducing for me personally. For one, trigger warnings galore. And then I have *checks file* 41k (!!!) words worth of non-fic noted down, but it’s really just unassembled bits and pieces of mostly dialog. Grrrrrrr. 😖

Since such a fic would take a lot more planning... which is basically the antithesis of me for all intents and purposes... I pester you with snippets like they are pestering me. Said it before and can only reiterate: I make you suffer with me. *cackles*

Basically, the story plays on the idea that Eddie and Buck grew up together due to plot convenient purposes and meet again at the fire station after years apart. Anyway, here’s to more madness mingled with angst! Cheers!

Buck slings his duffel bag over his shoulder when his phone vibrates. Sighing, he shifts his weight to take it out of his pocket and take the call. A smile creeps up his lips when he sees the picture flare up on his screen.

“Hey, what’s up, Mads?”

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you were right about that little bakery downtown. It’s so worth the twenty minute trip,” she nearly groans. And Buck can relate. When he found that authentic Mexican bakery on a long run through the city, he may or may not have shed a few tears of happiness. And he may or may not have bought pastry worth a hundred bucks.

Totally worth it to run all those extra miles for the carbs, though.

“How many conchas did you have?” Buck asks, chuckling softly.

“I’m pleading the fifth.”

“Did you drive back to get more?” he questions, though Buck is fairly sure what the answer is already, which comes promptly, “Which is why I might be late for work.”

Buck laughs, leaning back against his car. “They are in the top 5 of conchas I ever had, which is saying something. So yeah, I get the feeling.”

And he should really know, he’s had the best in the world and no. 2 and 3 also. Though those are not up for sale.

“So, I need a bit of distraction to keep myself from digging through the remains of the bag before I make it to the car,” she tells him.

“Sure, what do you want to hear?”

“Howie told me that you’re getting someone new on the team today. Are you excited?”

“… Oh, ugh, sure.” Buck can feel his jaw cramping at that.

“You know you just sounded more excited about me being on a sugar high thanks to Mexican pastry than you are about your new teammate arriving.”

He’d hoped to avoid that conversation before he got over with it. Because that’s how he normally rolls with it. He gets over with it.

Works with band-aids and most situations that give you discomfort.

But Maddie has maybe not the sixth but seventh sense apparently big sisters seem to inherit by birth, so it appears that not even the most amazing conchas up for sale in all of Los Angeles will spare him having that conversation now. Which is the equivalent of tearing duct tape off, but slowly.

“I’m a huge concha fan, what can I say? And sure, it’s cool. It’d be nice to have a partner on the team, like, permanently, like Chim and Hen, more like.”

Buck rolls his eyes back as far as they will into his skull. It’s a small wonder that Maddie doesn’t buy his bullshit. He was fine just dodging the topic until now, it’s what normally works best for him. But yeah, Maddie just knows how to coax it out of him, and he loves and hates her for it.

“Talk to me, Buck.”

Buck looks up to the sky. “… I guess I’m just a bit nervous.”

“You are nervous? Don’t you think it’s up to the new teammate to be a bundle of nerves?”

“That’s kind of my thing, though,” Buck argues.

He has been ever since Bobby announced that they’d get a newbie, not a probie, but someone to be on the team with them. Dutifully, Buck laughed at the comments about how Bobby seemingly hired him a babysitter to make sure he doesn’t do reckless stuff all the time.

The nervous energy settled in when he got home that day and his leg wouldn’t stop bobbing well into lying in bed, trying to sleep. He only fell asleep halfway through reading the Wikipedia list of minor planets named after people.

“Then why do you feel nervous?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You know you can tell me,” she says softly.

Buck closes his eyes. He understood by now that yes, he can. But that doesn’t mean he wants to. Most of the time, Buck wished he didn’t have to tell anyone anything ever again and simply exist in the here and now. Because the here and now is sunny and tastes of pretty damn awesome conchas.

“I know it’s stupid, but…” His voice trails off.

And maybe she can read his mind, Buck wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be the case, because Maddie goes on to say, “You know he’s not taking your place, right?”

“What? Yeah, I mean…” Buck chews on his bottom lip. Whenever Maddie starts to talk like that, he feels like he’s sitting with a therapist. And suddenly, what he wants to believe are just his antics sounds like food for the shrinks.

“This is supposed to be your partner. Someone to have your back, not stab you in the back,” Maddie points out.

“Rationally, I know all that. It’s just…” He stretches out his legs.

“It’s just what?” she asks in a gentle tone of voice.

“What if he’s better than me?”

What if they realize that he’s expendable after all? What if someone comes along who can do things better than Buck without the attitude? What if he can’t prove his worth anymore because that guy can do it just as well, maybe even better?

“Then I will be glad because that means someone capable is watching out for my baby brother,” Maddie answers, pulling Buck back to the current conversation, not the fictional ones inside his head.

“What if we end up hating each other’s guts?” Buck continues. He had to restrain himself from actually typing a list of all those questions on his phone when his mind went spiraling upon receiving the news. Because that’s what’s been going on ever since Bobby announced. And Buck knows how stupid it is, but his brain didn’t get the memo. There are so many what ifs that it’s making him dizzy thinking about them.

“Then you talk about it like actual adults. And anyway, no one can hate you to your guts. You’re amazing.”

Buck has to fight hard not to blush. “Thanks, but you’re biased because you’re my sister.”

His heart still beats a little faster every time he says those words out loud. Something that comes so light and casual these days, though it isn’t. It is closer to what it should be. Because it should be casual, natural, given.

But apparently, the world didn’t get that memo yet. Seemingly a pattern.

“And as your sister, I’m also always right.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

He laughs. She chuckles back.

“Listen,” Maddie continues. “Just be yourself. You’re going to figure it out. This is exciting, Buck. More people to add to your family, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks,” he croaks.

“I’ll call you during lunch time, unless you’re out on a call. And then I want all the details on the newbie.”

“Alright. Pro tip: Put the bag of pastries in the trunk of your car. Only way to keep your paws off of them while driving.”

“I may actually crawl back, but yeah, it’d require a lot more effort.”

He smiles. “Drive save.”

“Will do.”

“Alright, I’m heading in,” Buck says, pushing away from his car. “Or else I will be running late, too.”

“Love you, little brother.”

“Love you, too. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Buck hangs up and stuffs his phone back into his pocket.

Maddie is right. There is nothing to be nervous about. He has a team now. No one is leaving. New people are arriving. That’s how it works. That’s normal. And he gets to pester the newbie. So he should really be excited, as Maddie said. Buck knows he should focus on that. On how great this could turn out to be. On having a partner. Someone to have his back. All the time.

He sucks in a deep breath as he comes to stand in front of the door leading inside the fire station.

“The door is not closed,” he mutters with closed eyes, grabbing the handle. Buck pushes inside. He is greeted by the familiar hum of the fire station coming to life. People are talking over coffee, some are still fastening the buttons on their shirts as they make up the stairs.

And there’s no place he’d rather be. Buck knew that the moment he first walked into the station for the first time, and that assessment hasn’t changed since.

Buck makes for the locker rooms to change, not wanting to run late like Maddie. Once changed into his uniform, Buck finds himself a little more at ease. Athena once pointed out that they wear those uniforms as a way of protecting themselves. You take them off after work and leave all the bad behind that you’ve witnessed on a call. For Buck, the other way is just as true, though.

When he puts on that uniform on, he can leave his anxious, knee-bobbing self behind and do something meaningful. Because that’s what he found here, beside the team that means so much to him. He found a purpose. A way of answering a calling that lies far back in a past he can’t and won’t remember. To save lives.

Buck looks at his reflection in the mirror, straightens out the collar, makes sure his hair sits perfectly. His glance lingers on the name tag a moment longer, brushes his fingers over the metal plate, the one thing he can’t fix or straighten out.

But that won’t make me flinch. Ever.

“Buckaroo! Time for coffee and talk! I need new material on that show Denny and you are watching and that you need to update me on, so I don’t have to watch it!”

Buck smiles as he closes the locker to see Hen standing there with two cups of coffee.

“Coming.”

But that fixes a whole lot already.

-------------------

Hen sips her coffee in silence as Bobby goes on about who is doing what for the day. She is glad that she isn’t assigned truck cleaning duty. That’s one of the best things about newbies and probies coming in. They get to do the dirty work for a bit. She had to jump those hoops, too, like everyone did, so it only seems fair.

Chim nudges her in the side, pulling her out of her musings. “Have you seen the newbie yet?”

She nudges him back a bit harder to tell him wordlessly that he is supposed to stop doing that. “If I had, don’t you think I would’ve told you by now?”

“Just saying, being late on the first day is not a good sign.”

“Can I help you with something, Han, Wilson?” Bobby calls out. “Care to share with the rest of the team?”

Buck laughs beside them, earning himself a nudge from Hen. That kid is going places sometimes, but Hen learned to love him fiercely after he stopped being a punk.

Fine, he’s still a punk sometimes, but we got to see there’s a heart of gold underneath all the punk and muscle and hair gel.

He grew on her the way he managed to grow on anyone, even the Captain who doesn’t like to admit that more than anyone around the station. He fired the boy first week in, and it was well-deserved, but he proved capable and kind.

Hen knew she was done for this humanoid golden retriever when she fussed over not having a babysitter for Denny and Buck jumped in after he’d just done a double-shift. She and Karen were still working things out and he just made the room, even though the boy deserved bed more than anyone else. Still, he took Denny to the park, finished homework with him, and got him to go to bed even though the kid is not so much a negotiator as he is a small dictator when it comes to bedtime. Karen and she found Buck passed out, snoring like a lawnmower, a book still in his lap while sitting next to Denny’s bed.

“Nothing, Cap,” Chimney answers. “Just sharing excitement about the newbie.”

“You’ll meet him shortly. He had to pick up his gear first and talk to the higher-ups another time. Once he arrives, you can pester him with questions as I know you will.”

“On it, Cap.”

Bobby rolls his eyes, but then his mind goes back to the clipboard and the rest of the chores yet to be divided among the firefighters on shift. The rest of the morning routine goes without further incident, so the three are soon walking down the stairs to their designated task of checking their stocks on medical equipment.

“Okay. That is a beautiful man,” Chimney says, suddenly stopping in his tracks.

Hen trains her eyes on the dark-haired Latino, putting on a shirt. That should be the newbie, then.

“Where’s the lie? And I like girls.”

“Eddie…,” Buck breathes beside her.

Hen whips her head around at the sound.

“Wait, you know this guy?” Chim asks, but Buck doesn’t say anything. Instead, he starts to walk towards the new guy, or almost staggers, she should rather say. The newbie only takes notice of him when his head pops out from the shirt.

“Buck?”

To Hen, it feels like the two just go in slow motion while the rest of the fire station is crazy and busy as always. As though the whole world disappeared around them.

She can’t make out whatever words may be exchanged between them before the new guy covers the last few steps between them and pulls Buck against him in a tight hug. Shock is written all over his face, but also huge relief. Though Hen honestly wished they stood the other way around, because she would like to know just what expression is flitting across her little golden retriever’s face.

“What on earth is going on here?” Chimney mutters.

“I ain’t got no clue.”

The newbie pulls away, smiling over both ears, both hands deftly resting on Buck’s arms. Even though Hen still can’t see Buck’s face, it seems that the guy is doing all the talking for a change. Then he is hugging him all over again.

“I repeat, what on earth is going on here?”

“Only one way to find out.”

Before they can overcome their paralysis, Buck starts to move, gesturing behind himself. The new guy nods with the brightest of smiles, not once letting go of Buck’s arm as they start to walk towards them.

Her confusion is multiplied by the way Buck carries himself, eyes downcast, looking nothing but nervous.

Did someone exchange the 118’s golden retriever this morning, or what’s going on here?

“... can’t believe we meet again in this place of all places,” she can hear the new guy say as they approach.

“S, same.”

Buck is stuttering. To repeat the repeat: What on earth is going on here?

“We have so much catching up to do.”

“Yeah.”

“Buckaroo?” Hen calls out, or maybe demands. She no longer cares for the details here. She needs to get down to the bottom of this. Fast.

“Oh, sorry, I just… this is Eddie.”

“Hi.”

“Hi Eddie, it is a pleasure meeting you. We will greet you good and proper in only just a moment. Hold the line,” Hen says, before turning her attention back to Buck. “Now to you, Buckaroo. Spill the beans.”

“Yeah,” Chim agrees.

But Buck is not forthcoming. Boy looks like a fish out of the water, his mouth opening and closing without any sounds coming out. This makes the sirens ring inside Hen’s head, not the ones at the station. Because their Buckaroo never stops talking, even when he should sometimes, and even when he wants to stop talking, he will keep talking. So him not finding anything to say may or may not force Mother Hen to have to look after her punk chick here.

“We grew up together,” Eddie says after a pause, still all soft smiles and maybe even softer curls, by the looks of it. Hen will worry about that later, too. “I honestly had no clue he was working at this station, let alone that he was in L.A. Color me surprised. Abuela will not believe this.”

“Abuela?”

“My grandmother. She’s the one who fostered him before…,” Eddie continues, but then stops himself when he notices the look of sheer panic on Buck’s face. “They do not know this.”

Buck shakes his head.

“Dios.”

“Wait, you were in foster care?” Chimney almost cries out.

“In Texas?” Hen adds, her mind still short-circuiting thanks to that input.

“Yeah. I was adopted by the Moores after that.”

Chimney gapes at him. “You were adopted?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, they don’t know about that either?” Eddie asks, now almost as frantic as they are.

Welcome to the club, hon.

“Now they do,” Buck mutters.

“But Maddie isn’t adopted. I should know.” Chimney lifts his index finger.

“Right,” Hen agrees.

Eddie makes a face. “Who’s Maddie?”

“My girlfriend, Buck’s sister.”

“You have a sister?” Eddie slaps his hand against Buck’s arm, shock taking the place of confusion.

“Wait, you grew up with him and don’t know his sister?”

“It’s a long story,” Buck sighs.

“Like how you’re Texan?” Hen scoffs.

Buck holds up his hands. “Okay, guys, can we stop spiraling for a second?”

Hen opens her mouth to give him a piece of mind, but she’s abruptly cut off by their captain standing at the top of the stairs. “Buck! I could use a hand up here!”

“On my way, Cap!” Buck yells back, the amount of relief to opt out of the conversation more than imminent. “Sorry, duty calls!”

“Hey no,” Chim hisses, but Buck isn’t having it. He pats Eddie on the shoulder. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Okay.”

With that, he starts to jog, or rather run, up the stairs. All watch him go, before their eyes fall back on the people standing right in front of them.

Well, if that’s not awkward.

“So, ugh. Hi again,” the new guy says, smiling sheepishly. “Eddie Diaz, your newbie.”

“Hi. Hen Wilson.”

“Howard Han, but you can call me Chimney or Chim. And why I’m called that is between me and God.”

“Okay. That may be only the second most confusing thing to happen on my first day.”

“We don’t normally act like this,” Hen tries to reassure him.

Chim makes a face. “We don’t?”

Hen nudges him in the side hard enough to make Chim gasp.

“Wilson, Han, you’re supposed to get on with the stocks!” someone calls out.

“You’re not our boss!” Chim shouts back at what turns out to be that jackass Lambert from B-roll no one likes because his attitude stinks about as much as his aftershave.

“But Cap is and he told me to tell you to move it!”

“I hate that guy,” Chim grumbles.

“I think I’ll like it here,” Eddie chuckles.

“They are so young and innocent when they join,” Chim snorts.

“Welcome to the 118,” Hen says, giving the younger man’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I suppose you should go up there as well and talk to the captain.”

“Alright, I’ll see you around.”

“Most certainly.”

“That was only mildly threatening,” Chim laughs, rolling his eyes well before Hen jabs him another time.

“Good to have you here,” he adds.

“Indeed.”

“Good to be here. See you later.”

“Later,” both say in unison.

Eddie smiles at them before climbing up the stairs.

“You try to get a hold of your boo, I’ll see what info I can squeeze out of Cap or Buck, whoever I get my hands on first.”

“Aren’t we supposed to get on with…”

Hen glowers at him.

“I said nothing.”

“Less talking to me, more talking to your girlfriend.”

Chimney makes a mock salute, before walking away while fiddling with his phone. Hen let’s her gaze wander up to the gallery with a grimace. Something is not right, but she is going to figure it out. Because Hen Wilson keeps all her little chicks on track, even more so now that they got a new one to take care of.

-------------------

Eddie tosses the sponge into the water bucket. Getting some of the crappier chores for the day is something he fully expected to happen. What he didn't expect, not in a million years, was running into Buck. Eddie’s head is still reeling because of it. And for what it seems, the same is true for Buck.

Buck.

To say that he seemed shocked is an understatement. Eddie knows the way Buck expresses panic. He’s grown up making sure the kid breathed instead of keeling over when it hit him, so Eddie knows that this was not just surprise, this was fight-or-flight level panic. Eddie knows by now he was so panicked because his colleagues didn’t know about the fostering or adoption – and he could still kick himself for bringing it up unawares.

He jumped to the conclusion because Buck used to talk about it freely to anyone who asked, especially after he was adopted by the Moores. Because it was his way of signifying to the rest of the world that he’d made it from being abandoned to finding friends and family. So Eddie assumed that Buck wouldn’t act any different around his colleagues.

Far from it!

“Eddie, my friend.”

Eddie nearly jumps when Hen and Chimney materialize next to him.

Speaking of…

“Hi,” he greets them.

“How’re you liking it thus far?”

“The detergents smell not as bad as some others do,” Eddie snorts. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not what you came here to ask me about.”

“Just so that you know, you can tell us anything,” Hen says in that mild tone of voice, though Eddie is pretty sure she only says it this way not to scare him away.

“You are looking for bribing material on Buck, I take?”

“We always appreciate it, but we are more like… trying to get up to speed. Until you came to the station, we didn’t even know he’d been fostered,” Hen answers.

“Or adopted,” Chimney adds.

“In Texas.”

Eddie chews on the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, about that. So he actually found his sister?”

If seeing Buck nearly floored him, hearing about his sister was definitely not adding to Eddie’s calm.

“Yes, she’s my girlfriend. You’ll get to know her soon enough.”

There is a part in Eddie that’s very much relieved to hear that Buck found at least part of his family, but another part of him hurts at the news just as much. Because that means Buck likely learned some very uncomfortable truths about his past that won’t have added to the man’s confidence.

“Back in Texas, we knew nothing about where he came from, including whether he had siblings or not. There was an assumption, but no one could be sure.”

“How old were you by the time your grandmother fostered him?”

“I was eight years old.”

“Eight years old… Buck made it sound like he and Maddie were out of touch like, only by the time she got to know Doug.”

Eddie frowns. “Who’s Doug?”

“No one you want to know.” Chimney shakes his head.

Eddie shakes his head. All of this starts to make less and less sense. Why didn’t Buck tell them about any of this? Why didn’t he when he apparently found his sister? Why are they about as clueless as he is, even though they’ve been working side-by-side with him for how long now?

“We lost sight of each other when the Moores moved away from Texas. So they aren’t around anymore?”

Hen shrugs at that. “Let’s say we’ve never met them, never talked about them, or seen any pictures.”

“Kid arrived here with a travel bag and the will to become a firefighter,” Chimney adds.

Eddie can’t help but smile at that. “That sounds like him.”

“You sound pretty clueless actually, and not gonna lie, that is strangely reassuring,” Chimney snorts.

“I prepared for meeting many new people today. Not my best friend back from childhood.”

“Aw.” Hen clutches her hands in front of her chest.

“I just hope he’s not mad at me.” Eddie grimaces. There is something tugging at his heart, just thinking about it. A memory that goes way back in time. When he thought he’d messed it up with Buck forever and always, but he forgave quicker than Eddie could forgive himself.

“I don’t remember our Buckaroo being capable of keeping grudges for long.”

“Then that hasn’t changed at least,” Eddie sighs.

“I think you two should definitely get something to drink after work, reminiscence about the good old times. Catch up. Report back to us in the morning,” she says, her voice trailing off.

“You are aware that they are childhood friends.”

“But I can be far more intimidating.”

“I think getting something to drink and catch up is actually a good idea,” Eddie ponders. “So thanks.”

“You, I like.”

Eddie grins.

“You still missed a spot, though.”

Eddie chuckles, shaking his head. Buck made some good friends here, for what it seems. And he is more than glad for it. They can surely figure this all out.

-------------------

Waking up this morning, Buck thought his biggest worry would be to sort himself out with regards to the newbie and his standing on the team as a result. While that remains true, he just didn't imagine for one hot second it may be Eddie of all people in the entire universe.

Eddie.

When Buck saw him at the station, he didn’t know how to breathe. Even though he hadn’t seen him in years, he knew instantly, only to know that he suddenly knew nothing anymore. Buck used to think he made his peace never seeing Eddie again after they moved away, but then Eddie was hugging him and all those things Buck made sure to bury deep in the ground started to crawl up through the dirt, scratching at a way too thin surface.

And now he is sitting at a bar, nursing his alcohol free beer – because he doesn’t drink when driving, he has to get people out of cars thanks to that behavior way too often, thank you very much. He is at a bar. With Eddie. His Eddie. Because Eddie invited him to get a beer after the shift, and Buck didn’t know how to say no.

Story of my life, isn’t it?

“… I don’t even know where to begin,” Buck admits after a while of awkward silence spreading between them, wherein both men just started peeling the label off of their bottles of beer.

“Same. I mean, you got a sister.”

“Yeah, ugh, I would have told you that, but Chim is still over the moon with her, so of course he mentioned her before I could. They are cute together, but at the disgusting kind of stage,” Buck ponders.

“I’m just so happy for you that you found your family, Buck.”

He manages a feeble smile. Because Buck knows that Eddie means it, understands it perhaps better than most. Because he had to deal with it growing up, had to deal with Buck dealing it growing up.

“I didn’t really find Maddie. We just… happened to meet again. Like us two did today.”

Eddie blinks at him. “Really?”

Buck nods his head. The universe always had the strangest kind of humor when it came to him.

“She’s a dispatcher now. We talked over dispatch for a while, not knowing who we are to each other. We decided to hang out. As friends. She didn’t know people in the city after she moved there only recently, so we also went to a pub and… we started to talk.”

Déjà-vu much, huh?

“Over time, I told her some stuff about my past and, well, Maddie realized that the timing seemed oddly familiar to the brother she thought had died,” Buck continues. “DNA test confirmed it.”

“I was wondering about that,” Eddie sighs, still trying to process that input for what it seems. “I mean, I really put my foot in it, just blurting out with this.”

Buck holds up his hands. “Eddie, no. You had any reason to believe I had told them. I suppose I’ve been blowing this up out of proportions anyway, so this is really just on me.”

“It’s your choice what you want to share with people about yourself, Buck.”

Buck blinks. Sometimes, he forgets how wise Eddie used to be already at a young age. He was also a dumbass a lot of times, but when it came to talking about Buck’s feelings instead of his own, the guy always knew how to make sense of the chaos and make Buck feel like his feelings weren’t just a tedious affair best ripped off like band-aids.

Eddie always understood Buck, even when he couldn’t understand himself. And Buck wants to think that the same was true the other way around, for as long as it lasted.

“Thanks.”

Eddie smiles at him, sipping from his beer.

“Speaking of, thanks to Maddie I now know my official name,” Buck continues, doing his best to sound jovial. “Evan Buckley.”

“Buck-ley. Well, that explains how you got the name,” Eddie ponders, before tilting his head to the side with a cocked eyebrow. “So do I call you Evan from now on?”

“If you want me to call you Edmundo?”

Eddie narrows his eyes at him. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Buck sniggers. “You should know better than to tempt me.”

“Evan.”

“Edmundo.”

“This sounds all kinds of wrong,” Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “For me, you can only ever be Buck.”

“Which is convenient, because I can only be Buck.”

There was a brief moment in time when Buck considered changing his name, taking on that identity, the one intended. In the end, he dropped the idea for what he hopes to be for good. He doesn’t know who this Evan Buckley was or what he’d be now. He knows what Buck was like growing up. He knows what the guy is up to these days. And while they have their qualms, he’s mostly at peace with Buck.

Even a name tag doesn't change a thing about it.

Because he’s Buck. And thankfully, Eddie sees it the same way. So maybe he’s not entirely crazy for holding on to that, however schizophrenic it may be in the end.

“Anyway, part of the reason why I managed not to let anyone in on this is that Maddie agreed to run with not mentioning it. We just stuck to the part where we lost sight of each other and found one another again when anyone asked. And until now, no one really questioned the timeline.”

“And no one ever made the connection between Buckley and Buck?” Eddie asks.

Buck shakes his head. “Maddie’s married name is Kendall. She considered changing it back to Buckley after she broke up with her scumbag husband. But when she found out what kind of scumbags our parents are, it was out the window. So no one had reason to question the difference in names and just assumed that Maddie’s birth name was Moore, too.”

“I take that there is no good explanation as to how you ended up in Texas, then,” Eddie sighs. Buck can tell that he’s trying to sound casual, soft, but the white-knuckled grip on the beer bottle is an entirely different story.

“No, not really. As far as we understand it, our parents moved across state borders under the pretense to get treatment for me. Then they just dropped me at a fire station and drove back. They told Maddie I died.”

“Why would they do that? Why would anyone’s parents…?” Eddie shakes his head, disbelief settling in. Buck knows the feeling oh too well. When he found out, it didn’t make sense to him at all. But as more details were added, the clearer the bigger picture became, though it turned none the brighter.

Buck looks around, just to be sure none of the 118 was sent here to spy on them. Once he is sure there is really just them, Buck hunches forward in his seat.

“Well, I was a big, fat disappointment, I guess. They had me to save their oldest son, Daniel. He had juvenile leukemia. I was… I was a savior baby. Just that… ugh, I didn’t save him. My guessing is that they never wanted me, so they gave me away after Daniel died. I was just there for spare parts anyway.”

Buck suddenly feels something cold in his neck, only to realize it’s Eddie’s hand gently squeezing it. Buck tenses for a moment, then eases to the familiarity of the touch, suppressing the urge to lean into it like he used to.

“I’m so sorry. I would’ve hoped for something else to come out of this.”

Buck manages a feeble smile. “It’s fine. I got a sister now I never expected to find. That’s great. Over the moon kinda great. And now I also ran back into you, too. So I’m one lucky bastard after all.”

Eddie’s hand lingers for a while, no words spoken and yet all is said between them. And how much Buck missed that. Not having to say things for them to be understood.

Eventually, Eddie’s hand falls on his shoulder, giving it a light pat before returning to his beer. “So we’re still friends after I spilled to your colleagues?”

“I didn’t stop being your friend after you got so mad for me saying that you couldn’t bake for shit, so you covered a balloon stuck to a cardboard box in frosting and told me you’d baked a cake and I cut the thing only for it to explode in my face.”

“To this day one of my proudest achievements when it comes to pranks,” Eddie snorts, breaking out laughing at the memory.

Buck can’t help but laugh along. Many of those memories got stuffed away alongside the ones he’d buried in the ground. He had no reason to unearth them because he chose not to tell anyone. But with Eddie, those things come back to light and they shimmer like gold, even after all those years of packing on dust.

“Laugh it up all you want, I got back at you eventually.”

“Don’t remind me,” Eddie groans. “I got grounded for a month because you led my parents to believe I’d be stupid enough to have a folder for porn on the family’s computer and made a message pop up every time that the folder was overloaded and created a system error.”

“Yeah. That was a masterpiece,” Buck sniggers. “But anyway. If that didn’t cancel our friendship, I think we’re fairly good with all this here.”

“Then I’m glad. When you fled the scene, I got kind of worried.”

Buck shrugs. “You know me. I’m a whirlwind of emotions, so I thought it’d be best if I took the time to cool down.”

“That was definitely not how you went about it before,” Eddie argues.

And Buck can’t argue with that. Back in the day, Buck just let the storms rage, never minding the consequences. On the job, that’s still how he rolls, but it was also how he talked, how he presented himself. After he got to meet the Diaz family, he stopped hiding a lot of things. He screamed when he felt like screaming and he cried when he was sad. He laughed when he was happy. And sometimes he even cried because he was that happy, but he learned that this was okay. Abuela always told him this and he took it to heart.

At least for as long as I could.

“Which is why I’m working on it. But anyway! Enough of me. Tell me about you. How long have you been in L.A.? What got you here?” Buck asks. Judging by the look on Eddie’s face, his transition of topics is not nearly as smooth as he’d want it to be, but Eddie rolls with it anyway.

“I moved here only shortly, for the job,” he says. “Before that, I was working some odd jobs. Before that, Afghanistan.”

Buck winces. “Shit.”

“Yeah, that’s one way of describing it. After I came back home injured, I couldn’t do this anymore. I had to set priorities differently, and somehow… I ended up in L.A.”

“Fresh start.” Buck nods his head. There is still so much to unravel in just those few sentences. Afghanistan. Injury. Priorities. Eddie tends to hide a lot more in his words, even more so when they are scarce. But for what it seems, he will now get the time to dig deeper. Because that is what Buck knows someone has to do in order to understand someone like Eddie Diaz.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“I get that feeling,” Buck says. “Los Angeles is great for that, worked out for Maddie and me, too.”

“We’ll have to drink a lot of beers to catch up on all those years we didn’t hear from each other to wind up having a fresh start in the same city.”

“Then it’s a date.”

Eddie wants to say something, but then his phone vibrates. “Sorry about that.”

Buck holds up his hands. “It’s fine.”

Eddie takes out his phone and checks his messages. Buck can see the instant shift in the other man’s demeanor. He knows that change like the back of his hand, even with years between where they parted ways and now crossed them again. Eddie’s shutting down.

“Hey, uhm, sorry, I gotta head out. It’s urgent,” he says, grabbing his wallet, clearly embarrassed and beat-up for having to leave so suddenly.

Some things don’t change, do they?

“Hey, it’s fine, man. We, ugh, we are stuck together now anyway, right? We’ll find enough time to catch up. It’s a date, after all,” Buck assures him. “Also, you’re not paying for the beer, unless you wanna pick a fight with me. Just go.”

Eddie smiles at him wryly. “Thanks. I’ll pay next round?”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Now off you go.”

“Sorry another time. I really gotta…”

“See you at work!”

“See ya!”

Buck manages to keep up the smile until the door shuts behind Eddie. His shoulders drop and he sucks in a deep breath. He pays for the beers and nearly flies out the door.

He makes for his car and climbs in. Buck realizes only now how badly his hands are shaking. Struggling for breath, he takes out his wallet again and fishes out that one crumpled piece of the past he carries with him whenever he’s not on the job, so to be sure it doesn’t get further damage.

Buck unfolds the faded photograph with shaky hands and presses it against his mouth, breathing hard against it. The tears keep coming, no matter how hard he tries to stop them. They are happy and sad. Desperate and relieved. Everything and nothing. And all that at the same time.

Eddie is back.

Eddie is back in his life, just like that, after the years it took him to accept he’d never see him again. That he’d moved on as he should have.

How do you rip off the band-aid or duct tape for that?

Or maybe that’s just the universe telling him that some things really can’t be fixed.

Because apparently, the universe is still mocking him.

[daniclaytcn]

assuming your post was about 911 lmao...vibrating in anticipation is a great way to put it and those are my exact feelings. feel like I don't have any theories per say but my two wishes for this ep and the finale are:

1) Eddie and Ana break up

2) If Eddie gets injured in any way, we see Buck freaking out a bit like in 3x15.

ok jk I have 3 wishes

3) Bobby and Athena make up and everything is fine

personally I feel like we deserve this 😂

hey sav!! it's definitely about 911 lol, there's no other show i'm following as closely as this one 😅 let's get to it!

1) eddie and ana break up. omg yes, idk if it will happen in 4x13 but i think it definitely will by 4x14 because i really don't see how they could keep her around any longer than that! i really tried to like their relationship but they never did anything to endear them to the audience so 🤷 i don't think ana will have much of a role in 4x13 apart from talking to eddie about that child and meeting carla, since eddie and buck are clearly the ones teaming up next ep. let's wait and see!

2) if eddie gets injured in anyway we see buck freaking out a bit like in 3x15: well i certainly hope it's not just a bit because i'm greedy and want all the angst *grabby hands* tbh i don't see how they could not have him react like that considering 3x15 and now if he sees eddie get shot in front of him? he might just completely lose it and i am HERE for it. someone said that they might just cut from eddie getting shot to him being in the hospital and...no. please no, i wanna see buck's reaction 🤞

3) bobby and athena make up and everything is fine: YES WE ABSOLUTELY DO DESERVE THIS!! they have to be fine, they're my emotional support parents and they are NOT allowed to break up. nope, nope, nope. they deserve to be happy and they have to be i will not be taking any criticism on this front.

send me your theories/opinions about tomorrow's episode!