#anyways thinking of taking a horror approach or a silly approach

[shit-taster-connoisseur]

DR Au where Wu causes the Merge as a last resort to unmerge Nya with the ocean—taking place before crystalized or after, only Nya isn't in it.

[steddiehyperfixation]

with blonde hair and a tan

steddie brainworms so bad i wrote this silly little thing immediately after watching the rocky horror picture show for the first time the other night lol @steddie-spooktober day 30: "where in the hell did you find that costume?" | 1083 words | T |

Eddie can hear Steve and Robin squabbling as he makes his way up the stairs to Steve's room. 

“I just don't know about this, Rob.” 

“It was your idea!” 

“It's too much. I should wear something else.” 

“Little late for that now.” 

“Well-”

“Where in the hell did you find that costume?” Eddie stops in the doorway, frozen in a state of shock at the scene in front of him. His mouth hangs open, eyes wide, and a sudden heat rises in his cheeks. 

Because Steve is standing in front of his mirror wearing only a tiny metallic gold speedo and matching gold boots, his great expanse of tanned skin and muscles and body hair on full display. Robin stands next to him with a spray can of wash out bleach-blonde hair dye at the ready. 

Steve looks over at Eddie. “It's too much, isn't it? I knew it. I told you,” he says to Robin, gesturing at Eddie as if his reaction proves his point. “Look at his face, even he's embarrassed for me.” 

Robin snorts. “Yeah, I don't think that's why he's blushing, Steve-o.” 

“No one’s even gonna know who I am,” Steve continues to complain, thankfully ignoring Robin’s comment. 

“Rocky,” Eddie says. His voice comes out weird and cracked; he clears his throat. “You're Rocky, from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” 

“See?” Now it's Robin’s turn to gesture towards Eddie in vindication. “Totally recognizable. Totally good. It's just one party, and you've got all that unwarranted jock confidence, you'll be fine.” She pats Steve on the shoulder, then turns and tosses the spray dye at Eddie. “Here. You can take over spraying his hair. I have to finish getting myself ready.” 

Eddie fumbles trying to catch the spray can, his attempt to stammer out a protest falling on deaf ears as Robin pushes past him out of the room. “Okay.” He sighs. This is fine. He can totally handle being left alone with this literal golden adonis without getting heart palpitations. He can be cool and chill and normal. He can. 

Steve looks amused. “You don't have to. I can probably manage spraying my own hair just fine,” he says when Eddie still hasn't moved. 

“No, I got it.” Eddie shakes his head, shaking himself into motion. “You won't be able to get the back right on your own anyways.” He approaches Steve - with great restraint, he might add, because there's a part of his brain that's all animal right now and it's just raring to pounce on him. “So are you done trying to talk yourself out of this costume, then?” 

Steve chews at his lip as he studies his reflection again. “I think so,” he decides. His gaze flicks up to meet Eddie's eyes in the mirror. “You really don't think it's too much?” 

Eddie breaks the mirror eye contact before his face can turn any more red, fixing his focus singularly on starting to spray the blonde dye onto Steve's hair. “No, you uh, you look good. You really should've warned me- told me, I mean, what you were gonna be. I would've matched your theme, could've gone as Dr. Frank N Furter.” (His current costume in comparison is quite boring, just a basic vampire - albeit with some pretty impressive fake blood around his mouth if he does say so himself, but ultimately nothing special.)

“Now that would be something,” Steve mutters, the words a little breathier all of the sudden, but Eddie still doesn't dare let his glance wander from his hair. His voice is back to normal in a second anyway. “Well, there's always next year.” 

“Yeah, next year,” Eddie echoes. That really would be something, both of them in flamboyantly skimpy costumes. He's not sure if that would make this situation better or worse for him. 

He pushes up some of Steve's hair to make sure he's covered all the layers in the back, his fingers accidentally brushing along the skin of his neck, and Steve shivers. Eddie finds himself watching with an odd satisfaction as the goosebumps ripple up in the wake of his touch. 

“I think I might freeze to death like this, though,” Steve comments with a self-deprecating chuckle that just barely conceals that weird breathiness that's returned to his voice. “I probably should've considered that before I decided to go out half naked at night in the middle of fall.” 

“I bet you could easily find someone to keep you warm tonight,” Eddie tells him, forcing detachment. He locks his attention back on his hair dyeing work. “You walk in there looking like this and you'll have all the girls at the party falling at your feet. Probably even some of the guys too,” he adds, remembering Steve recently came out as bisexual. 

“Yeah?” Steve sounds like he's smiling, or maybe smirking. He tries (unsuccessfully) to catch Eddie's eyes again as Eddie moves in front of him to get to the last few pieces of hair. “And what about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“Would you be one of them?” 

Eddie finishes with the hairspray, nothing left to keep using as an excuse to avoid his attention. He finally looks at Steve's face and raises an eyebrow, deflecting. “You want me to fall at your feet, Harrington?” 

Steve shakes his head almost imperceptibly. He glances down for a moment, then looks back up at him from under his lashes and takes a step closer. “I want you to keep me warm,” he clarifies in a murmur as he reaches for Eddie's free hand and guides it to hold his waist. Eddie's blood ignites at the touch and the look Steve's giving him, flames racing along his veins. 

That's as good an invitation as any, and Eddie's restraint shatters. He draws Steve hungrily to his lips. How could he not? The spray can falls from his grip in favor of using both hands to pull Steve closer and roam his body. And if Eddie's wandering hands linger for a while in their investigation of that perfect gold-clad ass, well that's between them and the lovely little sound Steve makes against his open mouth. 

And Robin, who has the misfortune of poking her head back into the room right then. 

She yelps and jumps out of view of the scene, banging her fist against the wall just next to the doorway to get their attention instead. “When you guys are done being gross,” she shouts, “there's a party we're gonna be late for!” 

[snail-day]

hi snail!!!

i wanted to ask how would saturu and suguru react if the reader had horrible fear of pregnacy? especially the first one?

i mean... freaking out when she founds out, crying and pleading not to make her give a birth... and during the birth giving how would they feel to see her in such pain? wouldn't it make them feel bad to hear her screams, to hear how she calls to her mom or something like that??

or the second pregnacy😭 literally even worse when you know what you are gonna go through... how would they comfort her (or more like try to lol)

Hi cutie!!

I’m assuming this is for "This is Love, Right?", but it can just be taken as general headcanons.

Oops didn't mean to ramble this much.

TW: Forced Pregnancy, Manipulation, Lack of Voice, Yandere Behaviors, Excessive Coddling

First Pregnancy:

When Reader finds out she’s pregnant and is clearly overwhelmed with fear—crying, pleading not to go through with it—both Satoru and Suguru are initially caught off guard. They expected a little bit of complaining but not a full-on meltdown. So, they shift into overly coddling behaviors. <3 Fun, right?

Satoru would be all about physical comfort, perhaps even teasing. He’d pull you into his arms, holding you tightly, stroking your hair while offering teasing reassurances. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. You think the strongest is going to let anything happen to you, hm?” He’d definitely try to downplay your panic/fear with lines like, “Come on, it’s not that bad! You’ll look so cute waddling around!”

While he may be teasing, he’s also reminding you that this will happen regardless of whether you want it to or not. If you start crying harder, he’d get a bit more affectionate—holding you closer, burying his face into the crook of your neck, and whispering things like, “Aww, don’t be a crybaby. You know I only like seeing that in bed. You’ll see—it’s not as scary as you think. Suguru and I will be there the whole time.”

Suguru, on the other hand, takes a more nurturing, manipulative approach. If the maids so much as whisper horror stories about pregnancy, he’s giving them the side-eye and, if you start hyper-fixating on it, they might disappear entirely (and he’d just tell Satoru they intended to harm you).

He’d be so, so doting—sickeningly sweet. Sitting beside you, cupping your face as he wipes away those big tears, whispering the softest words: “I know you’re scared, love. But this is a good thing—a beautiful thing. It’s what families are meant to do.” He’d speak in such a low, soothing tone, lulling you into his arms where you can bundle up beside him—right where you belong.

However, he’d gently guilt you, murmuring, “You don’t trust us to take care of you? We wouldn’t be the strongest if we couldn’t protect you. Don’t you know we’ll make sure everything is okay?” He’s reinforcing the idea that your safety and wellbeing are entirely reliant on him and Satoru. It’s all for your family, after all.

During the Pregnancy:

Satoru is more playful, teasing you constantly about your appearance or struggles. He’d laugh at you when you can’t reach your shoes and say things like, “Do you even need them? It’s not like you can leave the estate anyway.” He’d make silly comments like, “You’re glowing! Okay, maybe you’re just sweaty, but it’s cute on you,” or “You waddle too slow, baby. Guess I’ll have to carry you everywhere.”

He’s doing everything he can to distract you from your fear, though it often comes across as dismissive.

Suguru, however, is incredibly doting. He’s by your side at all times—even if it’s 2 a.m. and you need to pee, he’s carrying you. He insists on feeding you with a spoon and dismisses your cravings with comments like, “My love, that’s not good for you or the baby.” If you get upset, he finds your frustration adorable and pulls you into his lap, forcing you to eat the nutritious meal he prepared. He loves giving you massages and baths, taking daily walks with you while holding your hand tightly, whispering things like, “You’re so strong,” and “You don’t need to worry about anything—I’ll take care of it all.”

During Labor:

Satoru is torn between wanting to stay in the room and running away because seeing you in pain is not ideal for him. He desperately wishes he could take it all away but doesn’t know how. He’d hold your hand and tease in a panicked way, saying things like, “Don’t piss yourself, babe. It’s embarrassing!” He’s oddly sweet about it though, whispering, “I know it hurts, but I wouldn’t have ended up with someone who wasn’t strong.” He’s trying to convince himself as much as he’s trying to convince you.

Suguru is composed—if you’ve been on your best behavior during the pregnancy. No escaping or self-harm? Then he ensures your labor is as painless as possible, probably opting for a C-section. But if you’ve been trouble? You’re giving birth the traditional way, how the elders want, and without an epidural. Best behave, okay? He holds your hand, presses sweet kisses to your forehead, and murmurs soothingly, “Breathe, my love. You’re doing so well. Just a little longer.” He does feel guilt seeing you in pain, though—it makes him think he really needs to tone down his breeding kink.

Second Pregnancy:

They’re a little more prepared for the second one until you’re in labor for 33 hours.

During the pregnancy, they tone down your worries, though they’re just as coddling as the first time.

During labor, however, Satoru is stressed. He’s ready to hollow purple Tokyo if a doctor doesn’t help you immediately. Suguru is micromanaging the nurses and refusing to leave your side. This is the time to bite, claw, or do whatever you want—they won’t stop you.

They will feel incredibly guilty afterward, becoming super overbearing. You won’t lift a finger for weeks, maybe even months.

For Fun: Reader is like dying...

Satoru panics openly, fear palpable. Seeing you pale, feverish, and struggling to stay conscious shatters his composure. He’s gripping your hand so tightly it hurts, tears streaming as he begs, “You’re not allowed to leave me. You hear me? You’re the one person who can’t leave me!”

Suguru remains eerily calm, but it’s suffocating. He pets your hair, presses soft kisses to your forehead, and murmurs, “You’re not leaving us. You don’t get to leave us.” But the tension in his voice betrays his fear. If you were to die, his calm facade would shatter entirely—he’d do anything to bring you back.

[cloudysarts]

Hi there!!

I want to say that your “Mabel’s muse” Au concept has absolutely called my attention, Bill mentions multiple times (Dipper and Mabel’s guide to mystery and fun and TBOB) how he likes Mabel’s personality and wanted her to be his ally…sooo the idea of an alternative time where he decided to approach her and where she trusts him and considers him as her friend is absolutely full of potential

I just think about how many stuff would change and how bill would be a little more genuine with her as he for once isn’t pretending to be an all-wise being and having to constantly rise the ego of Genius minds…instead he just has to party with a teenager whose idea of fun is quite similar to his…he doesn’t have to be the “supreme being” for once just a silly fella in order to earn Mabel’s trust

Also about how some episodes would have to take a completely different route:

maybe “Mindscapers” wouldn’t even take place…because I doubt that Mabel would trust a Bill if he went inside Stan’s head

Bill possessing her during the “sock opera”episode instead of dipper

Also don’t get me started on “the last Mabelcorn” episode. All the angst and horror that Ford would feel when he finds out about the whole friendship with bill situation reflecting himself on Mabel and probably Dipper being the one who search for the unicorn hair while ford tries to convince her that Bill isn’t trustworthy

I apologize for my rant but I seriously love your idea and sorry if it’s a bit confusing English isn’t my first language

I hope you have a nice day and thank you for reading this silly thing!!

first of all, your english is great!! second of all, i am SO sorry it took me so long to respond to this ask, it just made me so happy that i wanted to take my time to craft a response!!!!!! :DDDD (context: for people who don't know what my 'mabels muse' au is, you can check it out over here!)

you are practically SPOT ON with my ideas for this au!!!!!! but i'm gonna briefly run through all the things you brought up!!

first of all, yes, absolutely!!!! for bill, partner-ing up with mabel was a very nice change of pace. he likes stroking the ego's of genius', just for his own amusement, but he doesnt get the THRILL of just getting to PLAY very often!! he's a very childish being, at the end of the day. he enables mabel's selfishness, while getting to indulge his own, silly passions right alongside her!! and obviously, mabel LOVES being enabled <3 i imagine most of the dreams he gives her would make any normal persons eyes bleed

as for your episode ideas, you're mostly right!!! :) mindscaperers does, in fact, NOT happen in this au. in my head, i imagine gideon trying to summon him, only for an 'I.O.U' to appear where bill should be. he's busy hanging out with his favorite pre-teen!!! so gideon skips straight to his backup plan, aka, gideon rises ^^

for sock opera, i'm still on the fence a little bit. one of the reasons bill is hanging out with her at all in this au is because, unlike in the regular timeline, this bill actively wants stanford to be brought home. the reason mabel is important to him, is because he can see timelines where she presses the button in not what he seems, and keeps him from returning. in his mind, he has the greatest shot of success if mabel doesn't press it. in this au, she doesnt even hesitate to trust stan, because she has another, trustworthy voice in her head, yelling DON'T PRESS THE BUTTON. its 2v1! ANYWAY, the reason any of that matters for sock opera, is because he wouldnt have any need to possess anyone, because he has no interest in smashing the laptop! BUT.....i can see him doing it anyway. i figure, most likely, he gets mabel to (willingly) let him use her body, so that she can work on her sock opera while her body sleeps. i just imagine a bill-possessed mabel up at 3 am, covered in hot glue and googly eyes as he tries to work it out shjdkfhjsdkf. but......honestly, he probably destroys the laptop in the process :) just to fuck with dipper <3 not that dipper ever finds out its her. he has no idea that mabel was ever possessed/has no reason to suspect her, because at this point, he still doesnt think bill is real. that is....until the last mabelcorn.

IN the last mabelcorn, mabel reveals to ford that she does recognize bill, and that he lives in her brain! she says it really excitedly, at the table, while dipper kind of just rolls his eyes about it. to her, its vindicating, because it's the first time anyone has ever acknowledged bills existence. but to ford, its HORRIFYING, because he knows it isn't just a coincidence. he knows he has to do something, but he doesn't know what, right away. this is where our ideas differ a little bit, because i think that mabel still WOULD be the one retrieving the unicorn hair! ford just didnt tell her what the hair was for. ford sends her off, because he wants to brainstorm a way to get him out of her head, preferably without hurting her/her memories. he also plans to bill-proof dippers mind in the process, just in case mabel is too far gone already. the events here happen basically the same (with minor tweaks), but instead of dipper suspecting that ford is evil/bill-possessed, this is where he finally learns that bill is real at all. ford tells him about his backstory, and explains the REAL reason he sent mabel out to get the unicorn hair, etc etc. he loves mabel a lot, but hes not sure how to go about dealing with this situation yet. its not HER fault she trusted bill, but he knew that if he just tries to tell her hes evil, she wont believe him. shes known 'her muse' longer, and as of right now, he's never lead her wrong. just like what happened to him in the past...

i wonder how mabel would feel if she only heard the end of that conversation...

(more of this au here and here!)

[freelancearsonist]

el chico del apartamento 512

➔ Frankie Morales x gn!Reader - 1.6k

➔ There's a rumor going around your building about the resident of apartment 512, and you're eager to investigate.

➔ Rated PG-13 for allusions to sex but otherwise just some plain old fluff and fun. post movie canon wife and kid erasure sorry, takes place in colombia, both reader and frankie speak spanish and everything is translated.

➔ this is my entry for the Selena Drabble Challenge hosted by mi esposa @fhatbhabie <3 sorry i've been sitting on this forever hehe but i hope you enjoy

Frankie barely manages to pull himself out of the slump he’s in for the first year or so after the absolute disaster in the Andes.

He misses his family, misses his friends, misses his crew–his brothers. He tries to convince himself that it’s for the best, that it’s only a matter of time before those assholes who were in cahoots with Lorea come after him–that the people he loves will be safer and happier if he’s not around them when it happens. And most of the time he can block all that sadness and pain out by throwing his whole mind and body into the earnest construction job he picks up in this new town within this new country. But it catches up to him late at night in dreams and quiet whispers of intrusive thoughts; that he’s a coward for abandoning the ones that needed him most, that he could’ve done more to make that damned mission less of a disaster. That he could’ve come out of it rich and happy if he wasn’t such a fuck-up.

He wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, an ache so deep in his chest that it feels like he’s been shot. He clutches at his sternum and tries to catch his breath but he can’t. His body wracks with sobs and he knows he’ll never be okay again.

But somehow, he ends up okay anyway. Somehow, he falls back to sleep just to repeat the cycle the next day.

There’s a rumor going around amongst your neighbors that apartment 512 is haunted.

People hear things–weird things. Screaming, crying, banging–and always at the dead of night. And everyone swears up and down that they’ve never seen the guy who supposedly lives there. The people who say they have seen him get more dramatic with their descriptions every time–toweringly tall, shoulders that could stand up to a wrecking ball, hauntingly sad eyes and gaunt face. It’s like he’s a thing of legend–a story they tell their kids to make sure they behave. “Don’t run in the halls or the guy from apartment 512 will get you.”

You figure he’s probably just some guy who works long hours and likes to watch horror movies to unwind or something–not a monster or a ghost, just misunderstood. You haven’t seen the guy yourself, but you kinda like him anyway. The building’s certainly been a lot quieter since he moved in… well, everywhere except his own apartment, at least. 

You find yourself keeping a more vigilant eye out, alert to any face in the building that doesn’t look familiar. It seems kinda silly to want to see someone you don’t know, but you’re a little nosy and a little more than curious. If there’s some truth to the rumors that have been going around by the people who claim to have seen him, you want to find out for yourself.

It’s a completely ordinary night when you notice an unfamiliar face in the mailroom, and you have to do a double take. This stranger is handsome–tall and dark with shaggy brown hair and an even shaggier patch of stubble across his jaw.

He’s just standing there, staring blankly at a row of mailboxes, looking so… foreboding. You approach slowly, cautiously; part of you thinks you should just walk away and let this man do whatever he’s doing. But there’s a large, louder part of you that approaches with curiosity. There’s just something about him that draws you in, that makes you put on your best smile and ask, “Señor? Necesitas ayuda?” (Do you need help, sir?)

He blinks slowly, heavily, and then dark brown eyes flicker towards you.

“Oh!” He clears his throat and it’s like he’s coming back from an out of body experience–the color returns to his face, his eyes lose that glassy sheen, and his posture loosens a bit. He looks friendly now, sheepish even. He wrings his big hands and shifts on his feet, as if he’s been caught at a vulnerable moment. “Lo siento, estaba en la nube.” (Sorry, I was spacing out.)

“Está bien,” you tell him with your most disarming smile. “Andas buscando algo?” (It’s okay. / Are you looking for something?)

“No, solo estoy recopilando mi correo,” he rumbles before flashing you the most charming smile you’ve ever seen in your life. (No, I’m just getting my mail.)

He fishes through his pockets and finds a small silver key–and then he inserts it into the box labeled “512”.

“Tú vives en el apartamento 512?” There’s a strange air of reverence in your voice despite trying to hide it. This is the guy everyone’s been talking about, and he doesn’t seem nearly as monstrous as everyone tried to make him sound. (You live in apartment 512?)

“Uhhh… sí?” He chuckles and looks over to you, and you can see the way his brow furrows at the look of shocked surprise on your face.

You realize you’re actually gaping open-mouthed at the poor guy, and you snap your mouth closed as soon as you see the little crease between his brows deepen. Not soon enough for it to go unnoticed, though–the corner of his mouth flickers up in a pseudo-smirk, and god he’s handsome.

“No hemos tenido la oportunidad de conocernos aún.” You look up at him and give your best, winning smile as you give him your name. There’s a strange, fluttery feeling in your stomach as his dark eyes meet yours–have you mentioned how handsome he is? (We haven’t had the chance to meet yet.)

“Mucho gusto,” he says with a smile. “Soy Frankie. Supongo que vives en el edificio también?” (Nice to meet you. / I’m Frankie. I’m guessing you live in the building too?)

“Oh, sí,” you say with a slight laugh. “No soy ningún tipo de acosador, vivo en el apartamento 526.” (Oh, yes. / I promise I’m not some kind of creep, I live in apartment 526.)

And then you catch his eyes dragging along your form, not even the least bit subtle, and you try your best to be nonchalant about the way you have to lean against the wall to avoid melting into a puddle on the mailroom floor; especially when you see those full lips of his curve into a smile, and you know he’s liking what he’s seeing.

“Nah, no creo que seas un acosador,” he hums–and there’s that damned smirk again. If you don’t get out of here you’re going to start drooling. (I don’t think you’re a creep.)

He grabs two letters from his mailbox, examines the envelopes, and then unceremoniously dumps them both into the trashcan in the corner with a mumbled, “Malditas estafas por correo.” (Damn junk mail.)

“Eso es lo único que recibo ahora también,” you tell him sympathetically. (That’s all I get anymore too.)

He brushes past you slightly as he moves to the door, and you get a whiff of distinctly woody cologne that makes your heart pick up a beat. You try to act normal and go to open your own mailbox, but he stops in the narrow doorway and leans against the jam to look at you.

“Te volveremos a ver aquí?” (Will I see you around again?)

You think the rumors about him were right, at least a little bit. He’s towering and imposing–he fills the entire doorway with ease. He’s firm and broad and sturdy and big. Maybe he would be intimidating to someone else, but all you can think about is climbing him like a tree.

“Sí. Puedes verme cuando tú quieras.” (You can see me whenever you want to.)

His eyes flicker indecisively for a moment, and then he draws his bottom lip between his teeth. “Qué tal viernes por la noche?” (What about Friday night?)

You try not to focus on how you want him to bite into you like that as you tell him, “Sí, eso sería perfecto.” (Yes, that would be perfect.)

“Perfecto. Te veré luego.” And then he flashes you that damned adorable boyish smile again before he retreats from the mailroom. You think he’s going to be trouble for you. (Perfect. I’ll see you then.)

The monthly building meeting is Saturday morning, and you’re glad to see Frankie’s decided to join in finally. Everyone throws curious looks his way as he walks through the room towards where you’re seated, but no one is curious or brave enough to ask who he is.

“Buenos días, querida,” he murmurs, discreetly ghosting a kiss against your cheek as he drops into the seat beside yours. There’s a hint of amusement in his eyes as they trail over your outfit: the same one you wore to dinner last night, the same one you picked up off his bedroom floor this morning and shoved on hastily to get to this meeting in time. (Good morning, dear.)

Before you get a chance to respond, your neighbor from across the hall plunks down in the seat on your other side.

“Escuchaste ese ruido anoche?” She asks, sounding more amused than annoyed. (Did you hear that noise last night?)

“Qué ruido?” You ask with a raised brow. (What noise?)

She smirks with satisfaction, like she knows something you don’t. And then she looks pointedly between you and Frankie. “Suena como si nuestro fantasma en el apartamento 512 hubiera conseguido un socio para él.” (It sounds like our ghost in apartment 512 got himself a partner.)

You nearly choke on your own tongue, but Frankie just chuckles raspily and wraps an arm around your shoulders. He learned all about the rumors from you last night over dinner, and he thinks they’re hilarious. Besides, they’ll die out soon enough anyway–he’s never slept quite as peacefully as he did last night in your arms–if he doesn’t feed them a little bit. And if feeding the rumors means keeping you moaning and groaning the way he did last night, he can’t say he minds it one bit.

➔ beta: @shakespeareanwannabe; dividers: @saradika-graphics

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[soleilceirinen]

WHEN THE DARKNESS COMES | Thomas Shelby x Shadowhunter!Reader - Part 5

Summary: you are a shadowhunter investigating the sudden rise of yin fen in the Downworld, the trail leads you to Small Heath and a blue eyed gangster. Warning: nothing. A/N: English is not my first language, sorry if there are mistakes and thanks for reading! Words: 2.9k

Part 4 - PEAKY BLINDERS MASTERLIST

What are you supposed to wear to the races?

Despite not having been there before, at least you knew that it was some sort of social event, right? So you decided to wear a dress, the one that you brought with you to Birmingham just in case. Guess today was the day.

You took your time doing your hair and makeup, feeling the palm of your hands tingle with excitement. Tommy was taking you to the races and that had to mean something. Was it a date?

A little voice in your head reminded you of the purpose of your presence in Small Heath, but you pushed the thought away. For once, you were going on a date with no one but the leader of a gang, who by the way, was quite attractive and also had shown an interest in you.

Just a day, you thought, tomorrow I’ll continue with my duty. I swear by the Angel.

Without realising it, you had been clutching your tiny purse in your fists, so hard that your knuckles had turned white. Slowly, you softened the grip while shifting your weight from the tip to the heel of your feet as you waited for Tommy to come and pick you up. 

There was no reason to be nervous, but nevertheless, you were. And it was kind of irrational because almost every night you faced the most disgusting demons, all your life since you were a little girl, you had been surrounded by horror and death. Tommy was just a man, probably mundane. The small possibility of him being a warlock was not clear yet but still, why couldn’t you think of him without your heart beating like crazy?

You did not have the privilege to behave like a silly teenager in love, you were a nefilim. However, you couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach whenever you remembered the night before. The thought of his plumped lips devouring your mouth with his hand on the back of your neck and the taste of whiskey on his tongue. 

Nothing to worry about, you repeated to yourself, like a mantra. You had been in worse situations.

In order to try to calm down, you started thinking. Perhaps you were feeling a bit uneasy due to the fact that you were quite exposed since you were not wearing any sort of shadowhunter gear or weapons. Only your trusted old dagger, attached to your thigh where your dress covered it from anyone’s sight. Your bag was too small to carry any weapon in it, even your stele did not fit, it was too long. 

Hopefully, none of those things was going to be necessary. Who or what was going to attack you in broad daylight? One of the horses? No demon would come out until the sun went down, anyway. And there were still several hours until that moment.

A car stopped in front of you, pulling you out of the tangled labyrinth of thoughts about everything that could go wrong.

Tommy was in it, watching you with interest. His blue eyes scanned you from head to toe. When he finished, you could see a tiny smile at the corner of his mouth. He raised an eyebrow as you approached the vehicle.

“Hello, Thomas”, you said, getting into the car. With the small bag on your lap, you crossed your hands over it and stared at the man sitting next to you.

He leaned over to kiss your cheek, barely touching your soft skin. “Hello,” he replied hoarsely. The scent of cigarettes filled your nose. “That’s a nice dress.” 

You looked down and touched the fabric with your fingers. “Thank you, I wasn’t sure about what I should wear.”

“Well,” he started the car, “you surely look lovely.”

Biting your lip, you tried to hide a smile and glanced away in a futile attempt to keep your thoughts at bay. It was complicated though, with Tommy’s hand on your leg.

-

The place where the races were held was packed with people. You caught glimpses of them staring at you as Tommy guided you through the crowd with a hand on the small of your back. Even when he stopped to talk to some of them, about business or politics as you could hear, he did not let you go away. He kept his hand constantly connected to your body, until you found the stables and Tommy took a few steps away from you, stopping in front of a horse. 

You approached them carefully, trying to avoid ruining your shoes, and admired the beautiful animal. 

“This is your horse?” you wondered in awe, slowly bringing your hand closer to the animal’s snout. 

The smell of the horses and the hay brought back some memories from your childhood in Idris, suddenly you felt very small. Tommy nodded in silence, caressing the horse’s neck with affection. 

After weeks of following Thomas Shelby around, watching and studying his every move and even the slightest interaction, this was the first time you had seen him showing anything resembling tenderness. This man had nothing to do with the intimidating and cruel facade that he showed to the rest of the world. In front of you, you had a man who was whispering words of affection to his horse in a language that you were not able to understand. 

“Oh! You’re here, Tommy” a feminine voice caught you off guard. She hadn’t seen you yet, so she kept talking to him. “I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon, not before the races at least. I’ve been thinking about our last conversation and…” 

Her voice grew smaller when you moved to the side, stepping away from the horse and a little closer to Tommy. The lady’s dark eyes danced from you and Tommy, almost as if indecisive. 

“I’m showing the horses to Y/N,” he said as if that explained his presence there, brushing your arm when he said your name. Her eyes finally rested on you for a moment, taking in the information before returning to Tommy. He was looking at you. “This is May Carleton, she trains my horses.” 

“Nice to meet you,” you said, as friendly as you could. 

She nodded, touching her hair and quickly looking away. You almost felt bad for her, disappointment oozed from every pore of her skin despite her attempt to hide it.

It made you wonder if something had happened between them. Probably, based on the way she tried to meet his eyes but he wasn’t into her, at least not anymore from what you could tell. 

It did not surprise you. Actually, it just confirmed one of your assumptions about Thomas, the fact that he was the kind of man who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. 

May’s face was so devastated that it only increased your sympathy for her. It wasn’t her fault to have fallen in love with him. The bastard had something that made it really hard to ignore him. He was like a light in the darkness alluring you to get closer and once you realise it, it is too late. You’re burnt and he is leaving you. 

Tommy cleared his throat and placed his hand in the small of your back once again, ready to lead you out of the stables. “We’re going to find our seats before the race starts, we’ll talk another day, May.”

As you two moved forward among the crowd, you gave him a side glance. He seemed unfazed after the encounter with her. 

“You could have been a bit nicer, you know. She clearly still feels something,” you said once you found your seats. 

He raised an eyebrow at you and shook his head, lightning a cigarette. 

“What May and I had ended a long time ago. Our current agreement is purely professional.”

“Does she know?”

“She’s a smart woman, she must have figured it out by now.”

-

You had no idea of what to expect of the horse races but definitely it was not this. People cheered and talked loudly about their bets and the horses and whatever. And you were bored as hell. Thomas kept his eye on his horse and he even smiled from time to time, probably every time he won a bet which meant he was making money.

It was hard to stay focused and enjoy, as much as you tried. Everyone around seemed to be having the time of their lives but you just couldn’t. The nerves were creeping up your stomach, making it impossible. Something was off, but you didn't know what it was. 

On more than one occasion, your intuition had saved your life. So you began to scan the crowd, searching for something that could explain your uneasiness.

As you did so, your fingers dug into Tommy’s forearm a little too hard. He frowned and turned his head to look at you. “Something is going on, I don’t know what it means yet but I would say that we are being watched,” you told him in a low voice. 

Tommy took a quick look around and shrugged before glancing back at you. He sighed at the sight of your face contorted with worry. His hand caressed your cheek.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to worry,” he said softly, resting an arm over your shoulders and pulling you closer to him protectively. As if you were a naive and vulnerable girl, as if he had forgotten the fact that you were a demon hunter. “People will stare, it’s normal. Don’t you know who I am? Also, my date is a beautiful woman. Let them look all they want.”

His arrogance made you frown. “No, Thomas. It’s not about that, you don’t understand what I mean. I think this is something beyond mundane, and we need to get out of here. We are too exposed, I need to figure out what’s going on.”

“Nothing is going on,” he said firmly. You opened your mouth to reply but he put a finger over your lips, pressing them gently. “Take a look around, see all the Peakys? We are safer here than anywhere else right now.”

He was right, all around you could see men wearing peaked caps and tailored suits. You even recognised some of them, there was Arthur and others whose names you did not remember. However, you were convinced that whatever it was, they couldn’t stop it. 

“Love, look at me.”

You looked up at him, he seemed so calmed that it made you feel a bit embarrassed. What if you had just let yourself get carried away? Tommy squeezed your hand. 

“But Tommy…”

“But nothing,” he cut you off before you could keep insisting. “Enjoy the races. I have a surprise for later.”

He was smiling almost imperceptibly, only for you to see it. You pursed your lips and ended up nodding, there was no point in trying to convince him, he was as stubborn as a wild horse. Even more than that.

So you rested your head on his shoulder and looked up, staring at the sky. The sun was starting to set. Now, more than ever, you regretted not bringing enough weapons with you. 

-

Relief filled your body once everything was over and you stood up, ready to leave. Tommy seemed to be in a good mood. Once again, he guided you through the crowd, this time he offered you his arm to hold on to as you made your way back to the car. You let him guide you, without paying attention to him or what he was talking about, still alert to any suspicious movement around. 

As you walked further into the dark streets, the feeling of being followed intensified. You were only a few metres from the car when you looked over your shoulder and saw it.

You stopped walking, digging your heels into the ground and making Tommy stop as well, he gave you a questioning look that you did not return because your gaze was on the alley you two had just walked by a few seconds ago.

A creature had sneaked there so fast that if you hadn’t been feeling that something was off all that time, it probably would have gone unnoticed. It seemed to be a ravener demon, like the one you had killed the night before.

Was it following you, or Tommy?

With a fluid movement you unhooked your arm from his and threw him your bag. It hit him in the chest but he managed to grab it before it fell to the floor. Reaching under your dress, you grabbed the dagger. The blade shone under the street lights. 

“Stay here, I’ll be back in a second. Don’t get any closer,” you warned him, adjusting your grip on the dagger. 

Before he could reply anything, you had already disappeared running towards the alley. But Tommy was not the kind of man who follows other people’s orders. He headed towards the alley too, stopping a few steps away from the entrance, unable to take his eyes off the scene in front of him.

The demon was hiding there, waiting for you. It only took you a couple of minutes to kill it, although you ended up covered in black, viscous ichor.

“Damn it,” you muttered, dropping the dagger and wiping your hands and arms on the fabric of your dress, trying to clean as much ichor as possible from your skin. The dress was ruined. 

You hissed at the burning sensation, taking a moment to put yourself together. Then, you turned around to face the entrance of the alley. Tommy was standing there, a lonely figure in the middle of the dark street. But wait, he was not alone. There was someone else. 

Suddenly, it all clicked in your head. The ravener demon was just a distraction, the real danger was still out there. 

Tommy was staring at you wide eyed. He had presumably witnessed the whole encounter with the creature and now more than ever since he saw you for the first time, he looked as if he had lost his mind.

Actually, he was kind of astonished by the speed at which you had moved and the way you had made that horrible thing disappear. 

He was not paying attention to his surroundings and even if you warned him, he could not react fast enough to avoid the man approaching him from the back. Luckily, you could move faster than a regular human. Using what was left of your speed rune, which wasn’t much because it had almost faded away at this point, you run to get between the man with the gun and Tommy. 

If you hadn’t been busy with the ravener, this guy would not have had a chance to get so close. The man pulled the trigger just when you were about to push Tommy away, the loud bang of it sent a shiver down your spine.

The sound seemed to snap Tommy out of his stupor. A million thoughts and emotions flooded his mind, this could not be happening. Not again. All of a sudden he was no longer in the middle of a dirty street but knelt on the floor while holding the limp body of his wife, who had just been shot by a bullet intended for him.

Tommy held you tightly, with his vision clouded by anger but focused. He took out his own gun and shot the man many times, not stopping until there were no more bullets left. The man fell like a ragged doll on the ground, a dark pool of blood under his thin body. 

It had all happened so fast... as you held onto Thomas tightly, he spoke softly in your ear. Or maybe he wasn't speaking softly, but the gunshots had sounded so close that you couldn't hear anything now. Well, you could hear your heartbeat inside your eardrums. And something else, a sharp pain that increased by each second. 

With trembling hands, you touched your chest just below your collarbone, where the pain was coming from. You looked at your fingers, covered in crimson. A sob escaped your lips and then you began to understand what Tommy was telling you. 

He kept repeating that you had to stay calm, that everything was going to be okay. A few men, Peaky Blinders, arrived at the scene alerted by the gunshots and Tommy started screaming orders at them. 

“I need an ambulance now!”, he shouted, returning his attention to you. “You’re alright Grace,” his voice was barely a whisper as he caressed your hair and rocked you back and forth. 

Even though it hurt, you tried to get out of his hold. Although it was the first time you had been shot, there were worse kinds of pain than the physical one. Tommy tried to make you stay still but you needed to see the man who had attacked you. 

Being closer now, you noticed his frail body, he seemed young. A teenager or a young man, he could not be older than you. But his hair was matted and completely silver. It was too dark to see the colour of his eyes but you were sure that they were silver too, just like the greyish tone of his skin.

A yin fen addict. 

[williamkisser]

♡— The Mercenary and Forward when they’re sick

♡— I don’t know how to start…. here we are. I was talking with @fishermanshook some time ago on discord about random stuff as always when i expressed that i feel like writing something. I discussed it a little, i started writing a draft on tumblr and ended up writing something completely diffrent lol. But anyways. If you know me from my @williaml0ver account you’re most likely aware i retired from writing like… three months ago? I just gave up on doing it. But now that time passes i feel quite rested and ready to write something silly. Maybe from time to time i may write something more. Either way, i hope you all enjoy writing my goofy fic.

♡— Warnings: g/n reader, short fluffy hcs, a little over 400 words for each character

♡— You instantly received some mixed signals from the rugby player when he refused to wear warmer clothes on the way to his match. Sure, the days were still fairly warm, however at nights it could get really cold. William, who seemed very bold before going out, is now tucked in his bed with two blankets on.

♡— At first, the Forward feels embarrassed. He should have listened. William would like to pretend everything if fine to save his pride, but he can’t hide the symptoms even if his life depended on it. When he sneezes, it’s like if there was a small earthquake in the room - at least from what you can hear in the other room.

♡— This man leads a healthy lifestyle. Obviously, he is an athlete. He also eats a lot, mostly healthy food and has a consistent diet. You barely see him ill. But when he IS, he can be very unbearable, only calm when he’s asleep. Thank god he gets back to his shape swiftly.

♡— Inevitably, the signs of William’s illness grow stronger with time. Still, it’s just an ordinary cold, but judging by his dramatic behaviour you’d think you’ve got a victorian baby about to die from fever.

♡— That’s right. Being sick is never a fun thing, but William plans to make the best out of it. He loves being babied by you. He’s a cute menace. Constantly whimpering or whining that he’s dying and needs cuddles and kisses. He will convince you to snuggle together, knowing there’s a risk of you catching the cold as well.

♡— Whenever you’re not around, he would play with his plushies by throwing them up the ceiling and then catch them. Obviously, if one of them falls on the floor, he will specifically call for you to pick them up. Later on, he claims to already feel better, which obviously is not true. He’d get scolded for going to the toilet on bare feet, without slippers on. Much to your horror, William even takes off his fuzzy pajama and starts walking around only with his boxers on. He claims the sweat is unbearable. To avoid such situations, he needs some entertainment. Maybe play board games together? Or just have a nice chat. He’d also appreciate it if you read him a bedtime story and cuddled together.

♡— When it comes to medicine, William struggles with swallowing pills. For some reason, he just can’t do it. He needs all of his medicine as liquid, and still he would complain a little, claiming the taste is unbearable. If there’s no drinkable alternative, you may as well attempt to blackmail him into swallowing. Just say you won’t cuddle with him anymore, he’ll swallow those pills immediately.

♡— Overall, when sick, William turns into a baby. Like i said, he’s only calm when he’s sleeping.

♡— As a Mercenary, Naib has to deal and interact with a lot of people, dead and alive. He is, of course, always very cautious. There is literally no room for a mistake at a job like this, which means he pays a lot of attention to hygiene. Obviously, even if someone tries to avoid illness, everyone can get sick sometimes. Mercenaries included.

♡— When Naib’s approaching home, he begins to feel some sort of weird feeling in his throat. One thing leads to another and quickly enough he starts sneezing and feeling cold. The first feeling that comes to his head is confusion. Is this sickness going to develop further? Will he be able to continue his duties the next day? As soon as he comes home, he actually seeks medicine, but he doesn’t explicitly tell you that he’s caught a cold - though there will be signs. There’s just a growing feeling of unnecessary shame in his mind. He wishes for both of you to live peacefully, without worrying for money, so he considers to continue, despite being sick.

♡— Naib, just like William is a healthy man. He has his routine and is fit, he also eats healthy. He gets ill a little more often than the Forward, but still, it’s a rather rare occurence when you see him coughing. Surprisingly enough, when you realize he’s sick, he doesn’t protest when you tell him to rest. Naib is actually calm and obedient. As much as weak and uncomfortable the virus makes him feel, he probably enjoys not having to be in charge from time to time. He as well heals fast.

♡— The Mercenary tries to stop the cold before it starts to intensify. He stays in bed and takes the needed medicine, but it is sadly no help. Yet, he won’t make a big scene of it. You might hear him complain about having a sore throat here and there, but it’s not constant.

♡— He won’t mind, and will be actually grateful when you take care of him, but he’s capable of healing on his own. It’s up to you if you want to take the risk and cuddle with him, Naib won’t force you, although he’d like it a lot. Usually, you’re the one clinging to the Mercenary when sleeping, to your surprise, for this period he becomes a greedy cuddle bug. You may tell him that he’s gripping you a little to rough.

♡— Whenever you’re not around, at first he’d probably find a way to kill time. Would appreciate it if you brought him a book. While going through illness, his appetite, which already is quite big by default, would raise drastically. You should control him a little, unless you want to see him running to the toilet every ten minutes. After some time, Naib states that he already feels stronger and wants to help around the house, which you should not allow him to. Make sure he’s not overworking himself. While he usually prefers to sleep in boxers and a tank top, for sick days he actually dresses up in his pajama.

♡— About medicine, he won’t complain about it and will take whatever you offer him, Naib however is an avid enjoyer of natural medicine, saying that the factory-made one doesn’t taste that great. Both ways are fine though. Maybe prepare some warm tea for him?

♡— Overall, taking care of a sick Naib is a pleasant experience. He is very calm and doesn’t make much hustle.

Idv x reader tag how are you guys feeling today……. im kind of eepy…….. it’s almost 2am yippee

[chamomiletealeaf]

hello! I’m writing for TF141 and I especially want to write for Gaz. However for some reason I keep just lumping him with the same personality as Soap. Tips ;-;??

Hi! I'm so flattered you asked me for advice omg :) Well, from what I've noticed in the game, I personally think Gaz is very intuitive. I think he watches from afar and knows what's gonna happen before it actually does, but doesn't give his opinion unless asked. Part of that I think is one, like I said before, his intuition, but also his training and guidance from Price. I personally think Gaz has had the best character development of all the Task Force since the MW reboot, because he goes from this frustrated recruit not knowing what is too much for him and how to handle it when it is too much, to someone so in control of himself that he's gained phenomenal intuition and self control. He's quiet, calm, an observer like Simon, but he actually is quite snarky (hence his cocky little jokes to Laswell and Price in the MW2 campaign). In the first MW reboot campaign I believe it was, where Gaz had to lead the doctor around the mercs from the security cameras I think showed exceptional intuition and self control since he was so sure she was getting out of there alive and what routes to take. I think that also had to do with just him being a good soldier, but he was very confident (even if it was a playable scene and not a cinematic one, we played as Gaz.) Gaz is always calm when he just knows a situation will turn out alright, and if he visibly panics? You better panic too lol. Soap also led Ghost around mercs in I believe the second campaign? Might have been the third but I believe Soap is just handy with tech due to his demolitions training. Both scenes are very similar, but I feel like Gaz works under pressure more efficiently than Soap mostly because of Soap's temper (Like the scene were Soap almost killed Makarov.)

Anyway, that's just me rambling about my pookie Gaz lol, but I would say the main similarities and differences between Soap and Gaz are:

Differences

Soap is impulsive, hot headed, loud, while Gaz is quiet, a man who thinks before he acts and makes sure everyone's on board with a plan before he jumps into action, intuitive, only gives his two cents when asked, a great advice giver and listener (that last one is just from what vibes I personally get from him rather than from observation throughout the campaigns.) And I think he handles pressure and his temper better.

Similarities

Both Gaz and Soap are both witty and silly. They both are able to find that childlike joy despite the horrors they witness. However, they both know when to be serious even if Soap is a bit more out of pocket than Gaz.

I love both so much, and I'm not saying Gaz is a better soldier than Soap by any means, but that they're different, and handle situations differently.

So when it comes to writing Gaz, I would take all of this into consideration such as: How would a calm approach to this situation be?/ How would observing this situation rather than engaging in it affect the characters?/ What advice could be given to other characters from a well thought out point of view (Gaz's pov)?

I feel like Gaz really thinks before he acts unlike Soap.

And if you wanna get more fun with it, I would ask myself: How would two knuckleheads (Gaz and Soap) observe and react to a funny or shocking situation while staying in character?/ How do clashing personalities bond? In this case, their humor is the same, so writing situations where the two of them are together and giggling at something silently in front of whoever they're laughing at I think is the perfect balance between observing and acting on impulse/lack of self control, thus blending their personalities together.

Sorry if that was a lot, I had a lot to say. I love talking about character personalities and actually evaluated Soap's personality for a college psychology of personality final lol (Got an A).

I hope all of my yapping helps at least a little bit!

[roostersmustache]

Unfinished Business (5)

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Lira (Original Female Character)

A/N: Here's part five! This is not the first or last part of this fic, the previous parts can be found below! Lemme know what you think!

Synopsis: An unexpected arrival at the Resistance base, and a rude awakening for Lira. Force facetiming and family lore reveal.

Warnings: Swearing, Star Wars spoilers, not canon and not accurate, takes place during TFA, lots of OG TFA dialogue but I did not follow the exact story mature and adult themes, probably eventually smut.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Star Wars material or dialogue from TFA. All of those belong to Lucasfilm and Disney. I only have rights to any characters that I create, but any elements brought from the Star Wars universe do not belong to me.

Word Count: 4.9K

Regular Masterlist

'Unfinished Business' Masterlist

Leia heard the roar of Lira’s X-Wing returning to base, and she couldn’t help but sigh in relief. 

She hadn’t wanted the girl to go see her son alone, but she knew if she didn’t let her she’d have gone anyway. She was just glad she made it back. But she didn’t hear the sounds of a TIE Fighter coming either, which made her elation deflate a bit. She knew it had been silly to hold out hope that her son would come back with Lira, but she had wished. With a small smile on her face, one filled with relief but also disappointment, she exited the tent she was in to go greet the girl and assess her state. 

But once she exited the tent and looked at the X-Wing that was frantically landing, she felt it. 

She felt him, her son. 

The General stumbled back, her eyes going wide as she realized that he was flying the X-Wing. Lira was nowhere to be found. 

At this revelation, confusion made its way onto her face as she ran towards where her son was landing the ship. It was a wobbly landing which made it clear that he was trying to land as quickly as possible. She was immediately engulfed in his overwhelming feelings of desperation and fear. She wondered why he hadn’t come in his TIE Silencer, but it suddenly dawned on her that the X-Wing had coordinates to lead him back to this base. 

When the hatch of the ship opened and he ripped the X-Wing helmet off, the crowd of people that had been excited to see Lira gasped and stepped back in horror. Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, had found their base, and Lira was nowhere to be found. 

Leia heard blasters firing up, getting ready to shoot, and she panicked. “Stop!” She yelled. 

The crowd went silent, and all heads turned to Leia as she weaved her way through the crowd and towards her son. They looked at her like she was crazy for approaching him without any kind of weapon. But Kylo Ren wasn’t the one who stepped out of the ship.

Her son, Ben, emerged with a panicked expression written on his face. As he landed on the ground, his black cape billowing around him, he clutched his side and winced. He had been shot. 

“Mom,” he greeted, his voice wet with emotion.

Leia lost a good amount of her composure as tears formed in her own eyes. It was her son. Her son had come home. She could hardly believe it. But she didn’t have time to rejoice, Lira wasn’t here, and that stirred a horrible feeling in her stomach. And by the look on her son's face, she could tell he had rushed here because of Lira. 

“Mom,” his voice cracked and he stumbled towards her. “Lira, she…,” he took a breath and Leia saw a tear slide down her son’s cheek. “Snoke has her.” 

Leia’s heart clenched at the revelation that Leia was in Snoke’s grasp. She didn’t know what this meant for her, but she knew it wasn’t good. She didn’t know if Snoke would kill her or drain her of her power like he had her son, but she knew they had to get her back as soon as possible. But at least she had her son back with her. At least there was some spark of hope and assurity that things could be okay. And for that-

Ben’s breath hitched as his mom pulled him in for a hug. He was trembling lightly. As soon as Snoke had ordered for the stormtroopers to kill him, he attacked. One of them had hit him in his side with their blaster, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt like hell. However, they were no match against him, and he thinks Snoke knew this. He never wanted him killed, he knew he’d come to the Resistance and immediately come after Lira. He needed to play smart if he wanted to get her back safely. He had rushed here to the base without a second thought, and seeing his mother was terrifying. Hell, seeing the entire Resistance was terrifying. They all wanted him dead. But when his mother pulled him in for a hug-

He crumbled his resolve and collapsed into his mother with a sob. He wrapped his arms tightly around her smaller frame and cried. Weeped. All of the emotions he had been holding in for so long flowed out of him in powerful sobs, and he heard his mother sniffling lightly too. He knew he had a long road of forgiveness ahead of him, it would take a very long time to gain a smidge of acceptance from the people he was in front of right now. But he was okay with that. 

“I’m so sorry,” he weeped into his mothers shoulder. “I’m sorry for everything, mom.”

“Shhh,” she shushed him, pulling back to look at him. She swiped her finger under his eye to wipe a tear away. “Later. We have to get Lira back.”

He nodded back at her, using the back of his glove to wipe the rest of his tears away. That’s when he saw her. Rey. She was looking at him with a certain fury, and for a moment he thought she was going to kill him.

“What did you do to her?” She bellowed, stalking towards him, deadly on her feet. “Where is she?” 

“Rey-” Leia tried to soothe, but it didn’t work. 

“We never should've let her go alone. You’re a monster,” she seethed. “What did you do to her?” 

“Snoke has her,” he eased calmly. “He took her.” 

He watched as rage and fear crossed over Rey’s features. “This is all your fault,” she spat. 

“It is,” he agreed. “Snoke tracked me to her. But I’m going to get her back.”

“Like hell you are,” Rey seethed. “You lost her. Many times, apparently. What makes you think you’ll get her back?” 

“I know the ins and outs of the First Order, and am closest to Snoke in it too. If anyone has a chance at getting her back, it’s me,” he glared. 

“You don’t deserve her,” Rey spat. “She’s too good for you.” 

“That’s enough,” Leia said, looking at the pair who were glaring at each other. “You two can argue later. But right now we need to hatch a plan to get Lira back safely.” 

Ben nodded and Rey huffed in annoyance before nodding herself. Ben knew she would be the hardest to get along with. They both basically wanted to kill one another. Ben still had a lot to figure out within himself now that he aligns with the Resistance. Though he’d rather say he aligned with Lira and his mother because the Resistance still left a bitter taste on his tongue. 

He turned to the crowd of onlookers who still looked horrified that he was there. Collectively, they took a step back as he turned to face them. He wanted to level with them as much as he could. 

“I come in peace,” he started. “I know I am not welcome here, but I have changed and come as an ally. To win this war we have to take down Snoke. It starts with him. I know it will take lots of time for me to be accepted a little bit here, and that is okay.” 

“You’re seriously done with the First Order?” A woman asked. 

“You killed my sister,” said another. 

“My brother.” 

“All of my family is gone because of you.” 

The crowd kept spilling out their emotions at him, and he just stood there and accepted it. He had been the cause of so much pain and devastation, and the least he could do was own up to it. He knew coming here wouldn’t be easy, but for Lira, he would do anything. He had resented Snoke for months now. Nothing he did ever made him feel good. He felt like a shell of a person. But when he saw Lira again for the first time in years, he felt a spark of life again. And it had felt good to agree to come back here with her. 

Even now, as people are telling him all of the ways they’ve been hurt by him, he feels better because he knows he’s doing the right thing. He feels lighter, more sure of himself. But he’s got a long road ahead of him. 

~~

When Lira awoke, she immediately felt that damn Force depleting collar around her neck. 

She was in a cell like the one she had been in when Ben had interrogated her, but she wasn't strapped to or restrained by anything. She had free access to the small room. 

Of course, the first thing she tried to do was wrench the door open. To her not-surprise, it didn’t work. But at least she could move around. She looked around for anything she could use to be helpful, but didn’t find anything. All that was in the room was a metal slab for a bed and a singular toilet. 

Great. 

She then moved to try and pry that damn collar off of her neck. She couldn’t stand not being able to feel or use the Force. She felt empty and hollow and not at all like herself. She also desperately needed to know if Ben was alive. Last she had heard, Snoke had ordered his troopers to kill him. She knew how strong he was and she figured taking out a fleet of stormtroopers was a cakewalk for him, but she needed to be sure.

She tugged on it and fiddled with the metal workings on the outsides of it, trying to find a weakness in the mechanics of it. She grunted as she pulled, but it was of no use. The thing wasn’t budging. She huffed in frustration and moved to sit on the slab of metal she had for her bed. It was uncomfortable underneath her skin, but at least she could move. She just had to keep telling herself that. 

It was then that she noticed that her clothes had been changed. She looked down in horror at the black t-shirt she now donned. It was massive on her, reaching about mid-thigh, and she was barefoot. Horror filled her as she bravely checked to see if her underwear- her dignity- was still there, and to her immense relief it was. She sighed in relief and relaxed a little bit. She wasn’t sure why she had to have a change of clothes, but at least they weren’t overly revealing. 

Just as she was beginning to settle down a little bit, her anxiety leveling out, the door to her cell whooshed open and in walked a well dressed man. Judging by his outfit, she could tell that he was well respected within the First Order. His ginger hair was neatly greased back, and his hands were clasped behind his back as he greeted her. His resting face was that of a scowl, and he looked upon her with immense disgust. 

“Prisoner NV-1485,” the man started, his accent holding a tone of spite. “The Supreme Leader requires your presence immediately.” 

“Well you can tell the Supreme Leader that his company is not of my interest,” Lira spat. “Unless he wishes to let me go, which I will happily comply with.” 

“I’m afraid your cooperation is not needed, and that you have no choice.” At his words, two stormtroopers walked in behind him and grabbed her by the biceps, hoisting her to her feet and beginning to drag her out of the room. 

“Let me go,” she seethed. “You do not want to mess with me.” 

“Oh yes,” he said, standing directly in front of her. “You’re such a threat with that collar around your neck.” 

Lira just scowled at him as the stormtroopers drug her out of the room she was in. They drug her through endless corridors, passing many a uniformed member of the First Order. None of them paid her any mind as she continued to fight against the stormtroopers' grasp. After a few minutes of yanking her through the hallways, they landed upon big sleek metal doors that opened to an elevator. Once inside, it began to shoot up, and Lira nearly jumped out of her skin at the force of the lift. Once it stopped, the doors opened again, this time to a sleek red throne room.

Supreme Leader Snoke sat on a shiny black throne in the center of the red throne room. Black accents complimented the ominous bloody color of the room, and Lira agreed that of course the Supreme Leader of the First Order would have a throne room that looked like this. Surrounding him were eight menacing Praetorian Guards, highly trained guards serving the sole purpose of protecting their Supreme Leader. They were cloaked in red armour and carried dangerous looking weapons. 

Snoke looked no different than he had the day prior when he had taken her from the forest. A coy smile formed on his lips as Lira was escorted down the altar of the room to stand in front of his throne. She glared up at him and he just smiled down at her. 

“Lira,” he brooded. “So good to finally have you here.”

“Where is Ben?” She demanded. 

“Ah yes,” he sighed, relaxing back into his seat. “My traitorous apprentice. Much to my dismay, he managed to kill all of my stormtroopers. His whereabouts? Technically unknown, but that’s the first thing you’re going to help me with.”

He lived. 

Lira let out a sigh of relief she didn’t even know she was holding. And he hadn’t come back to the First Order. Could that mean….no, no way he’d go there. No way-

“Yes, your thoughts are correct,” Snoke hissed. She scowled at him for reading her thoughts. “Ben Solo ventured off to the Resistance base. And that’s where you come in.”

She gasped in horror when she was picked up off of the floor by the Force and carried up to meet him eye to eye. She grimaced in disgust when she got to see his deformed face so up close. He leaned forward and smiled at her, a large hand coming up to rest on her cheek. His hand was almost as big as her entire hand. 

“You’re going to give me the location of the Resistance base,” he stated. “And once you do, Ben Solo, and all of your Resistance friends will be no more.” 

“I’ll never give that to you,” she spat. 

He laughed darkly, his hand leaving her face and falling back to the armrests of his chair. “You can try to withstand me, dear, but we both know you won’t be successful.” 

“I will not be intimidated by you,” she snarked. 

“Oh, dear child,” he chuckled. “I wish I cared enough to listen to you.” 

Suddenly, he waved a hand over her face and the collar fell free from her neck. She breathed in relief as she felt the Force flow back through her. It was a welcome feeling, and it coursed through her veins and made her feel complete. But she didn’t get to bask in it long, before she got to truly appreciate the Force returning to her, he was entering her mind. 

The feeling was not foreign, as Kylo Ren had used the same technique on her not that long ago. But this was worse. Worse than she could’ve ever imagined. She screamed out in pain and thrashed against his hold on her. Tears streamed down her cheeks as he tore through her mind. He saw everything she would give up, but fighting him on seeing the location of the Resistance base was a feat she didn’t know if she was equipped for. 

“Get out, get out!” She exclaimed, her eyes squeezed shut. 

“Just give me their location and all your suffering will end,” he seethed. 

She shook her head in agony. She had the Force on her side this time, she had to be strong. Her head was pounding, eyes spilling tears relentlessly, and her skull felt like it was being split in two. The easy thing would be to give the information to him, but giving him the location of their base meant the lives of everyone she held dear to her heart. 

“Please, give me strength,” she whispered. To whom, she didn’t know. But the plea came from her lips like an instinct. 

But it was as if her call was answered. Comfort washed over her and she was immediately soothed. She focused on that feeling and ran with it, anything to escape the pain Snoke was putting her through. She didn’t understand where this feeling of comfort was coming from, but then her mind conjured up an image of Ben, and she understood. Of course he’d feel what she was going through. Their bond.

“You’re strong, Lira,” he said through the void of her mind. 

She took what he said to heart, and stiffened her body up. She pushed back on Snoke’s relentless attack, and it seemed to be working. She felt power surging through her blood, and if he didn’t stop, something felt like it would claw its way out of her. She didn’t know what this feeling was, but it was quick and ruthless, and it felt like it would explode out of her at any given second. 

“Give in, child, and you can rest,” Snoke said to her. 

She shook her head and continued to fight back on his hold. This feeling in her veins wouldn’t let up, it was coming, like the call of a storm. Like her body was waiting for lightning to strike. She screamed, whatever it was inside her rapidly accelerating through her veins. It wasn’t letting up, and it would crest out of her at any second. She screamed once more and-

Lightning struck. 

With a bang, she went flying away from Snoke, blue lightning shooting out of her fingertips and into the throne room. 

She watched as Snoke wobbly stood up, shock written on his distorted face. The Praetorian Guards even took a step back in surprise. They readied their weapons, but a chuckling Snoke ushered at them to back down. Lira sat up on her forearms and looked at her hands in utter shock. There’s no way that came out of her. 

“Yessss,” Snoke drawled. “There it is. That raw power I suspected you had.” 

“What-,” Lira’s vision went in and out as she grappled with the depleting feeling of Snoke’s mental assault on her head and the exhaustion after whatever it was had just left her body. 

She breathed out pants as she crouched on the floor, a whimper escaping from her lips as Snoke picked her up again using the Force. He quickly drew her close to him again, and she fought against the invisible bindings of the Force. She tried to call out to the Force herself, but she had been weakened significantly after that lightning had expelled from her fingertips. 

“You, my dear girl, are going to be the most powerful being in all the galaxy when I’m through with you,” Snoke roared, walking around her and assessing her. 

“I won’t give anything to you,” she heaved out. 

“We shall see,” he said, walking around to sit back upon his throne. “We shall see. Take her back to her cell,” he instructed. 

In an instant, the Force dropped her, and she collided onto the floor with a sharp cry of pain. The troopers that had escorted her to Snoke reappeared and hoisted her back up, dragging her tired body back down the throne room and into the elevator. Her head was whirring, she was exhausted, in pain, but…confused. She knew Force lightning to be a rare ability, and she had never known she was capable of producing it. What that meant, she didn’t know. 

She needed to go to sleep. 

~~

Lira awoke with the feeling of her and Ben’s Force bond opening. 

She hadn’t been asleep long, and her entire body hurt from the uncomfortable nature of the “bed” she had been provided in her cell. But her mind was at ease the second she woke up and felt Ben reaching out to her. Snoke hadn’t put the Force-resistant collar back on her, which had been a pleasant surprise, so she let a small smile glide across her features as she felt Ben. 

She opened her eyes to look up, and there he was, standing before her. He was in his usual black attire, and he was looking at her with the worry of nations going to war. She immediately felt the comfort of his presence. She could feel his anxiety and fear crawling at him, but she could also feel a sense of peace and relief flowing through his veins. She smiled further, knowing that was because he had redeemed himself. 

“Lira,” he said, quite urgently. She sat up at the quiver in his tone. “Are you alright?” 

“Ben,” she smiled, standing. Her legs were wobbly and she immediately tumbled over onto the floor. He rushed to her side and was pleased to know that he could reach out and catch her. What a strong connection they had. “I’m okay,” she gave a pained smile. 

“What did he do to you?” He demanded as he walked her back over to her “bed” and sat her down on it. He sat next to her. 

“Practically ripped my mind apart trying to find out where the base is,” she replied. “You’ll be pleased to know he was unsuccessful.” 

Ben raised his brows at that, and then furrowed them. “That doesn’t make sense…of course I am confident in your strength because…you know,” he blushed with embarrassment as he recalled his own interrogation of her. “But Snoke is a powerful being, and he’s never been unsuccessful in getting information out of someone.” 

“Well…,” Lira started, for some reason she was nervous to tell him about her Force lightning. 

Lira had been dropped off to be trained by Luke at the age of four, and she had never seen her parents again. They left her there with a kiss on the forehead before they hurriedly went back to their ship and blasted off. Lira had always expected them to come back but they hadn’t. They had never come back. She didn’t understand. She didn’t know who they were, she had no idea why she had such a strong connection to the Force. But her parents had seen it, and as if they were scared of it, they had sent her away and never came back for her. Her and Ben had bonded over that when they got older. He too felt like his parents cast him out. But the mystery of her parentage remained, and she had never looked into it because she had never had the resources, but her expulsion of Force lightning earlier had piqued her interest. 

“I learned something about myself today, and I think it shocked everyone so he stopped interrogating me before he got anything from me,” she confessed. 

“What do you mean, you ‘learned something about yourself?’” He asked. 

“When he was interrogating me, it was excruciatingly painful, as I expected. But I felt a foreign power in me, it was as if it was clawing at me to get out,” she described. He listened intently. “I couldn’t control it, I couldn’t stop it, and next thing I knew I was producing Force lightning.” 

She stopped and watched him take in this new information. His eyes went wide and they immediately flicked back to meet hers. “Force lightning?” He asked for clarification. 

“Yes,” she confirmed. “I have never done that before, but it happened today and I couldn’t control it or stop it.”

He looked at her with confusion, as if he was trying to decipher something. It unsettled her because she had wanted him to tell her that she was probably just blessed with a rare Force ability. But the way he was looking at her almost confirmed her fear of it being connected to her parentage somehow. 

“Is that something you would like to look into?” He asked. Her heart fluttered at his consideration. 

“I don’t know,” she replied. “But it’s not something I want to think about. How is home?” 

He took a deep breath and then sighed, his cheeks turning slightly pink. She knew going back to the Resistance would be hard for him, no one there except for Leia and herself would be happy to see him there. But he did the right thing and Lira is proud of him for doing so. 

“It's ...hard,” he started, she nodded. “No one wants to talk to me, which is fine because I don’t really want to talk to them either, it’s just uncomfortable.” 

“That’s understandable,” she replied, placing a hand on his. “But I’m so proud of you for going back. You did the right thing.” 

“I know I did,” he nodded. “I feel so much better, much lighter. It’s been good to be back with my mom too.” 

Lira beamed. “I know she was excited to see you.” 

He nodded, giving her a small smile. “I wish my dad were there too.” 

Lira was silent at that, not exactly knowing what to say. He had killed his father recently because he believed doing so would eliminate all pulls to the light side, but he had been wrong. It had ripped him apart. It had eaten at his soul so much that he ended up turning to the light side. All Lira could think to do was intertwine their fingers and lay her head on his shoulder. 

“He’s proud of you,” she whispered. 

“I wish that were true,” he replied. 

“It is,” Lira huffed, looking at him. “He would be so proud and happy to see you standing with your mother.” 

He nodded. “I hope so.” 

She laid her head back on his shoulder and sighed. As lovely as the Force connection was- and she desperately needed it - she knew it’d dwindle soon and she’d be left alone in her tiny cell, awaiting whatever Snoke had planned for her next. She didn’t want to reveal the location of the Resistance base, but she worried he’d be able to break her down so much that she gave it up without a second thought. She didn’t know how long she could withstand the pain. And on top of all of it, she was scared. Scared for her friends, scared for her lover, and scared for herself. She didn’t realize that she had started crying until Ben was gently tilting her chin up to look at him. 

“I’m going to come get you,” he whispered. 

“I’m scared,” she whispered back, her voice wet with tears. “I don’t know if I can resist the pain he inflicts much more, and I don’t want to give him the location of the base. I’m scared he’d kill you and everyone there, and it would be all my fault.”

“No, Lira,” he demanded, his gaze suddenly very intense. “It would not be your fault.”

“If I give him the location of the base and everyone dies then it is my fault,” she cried. 

“It’s not,” he kissed her forehead and shushed her. “You’re strong, Lira. Don’t underestimate yourself.”

“I just don’t know if I can fight him,” she sniffled. “I can hardly walk straight because I’m so exhausted.” 

“You can, and you will,” he looked at her intently. “Just until we come get you.” 

“When?” She asked. 

“I can’t tell you anything,” he frowned. “I don’t want to risk Snoke getting that information from you. If I don’t tell you then he can’t stop it.” 

She nodded, understanding what he was saying. 

“You need to rest,” he said, standing from beside her and moving to help her lay on her back. 

“I don’t want you to go,” she said, a tear sliding down her cheek. “I wish I was really with you.” 

“I know, I don’t want to go either. But your exhaustion is already weakening the bond, so it’s only a matter of time before it closes.” 

She blinked up at him as an idea popped into her head. She was so tired, yes, but she would never be able to fall asleep in this cell and sleep comfortably. But she knew that he could help her, even if it was a bit unorthodox. But she needed sleep. 

“Can you put me to sleep?” She asked, cautiously looking at him. 

“Lira…,” he hesitated. “If I put you in a Force sleep I won’t be there to pull you out of it.” 

“Please,” she cried, placing her hands on his cheeks as he stood above her. “I need to rest, I won’t be able to sleep well here. Please, Ben.” 

She watched him sigh and contemplate her request further, and a few moments later he was giving her a reluctant nod. She breathed out a sigh of relief and gave him a small smile. 

“Thank you,” she said, pulling his face down to hers and kissing him on the cheek. 

“Be strong, Lira,” he emphasized, pulling her head to him and kissing her forehead. “You can fight Snoke. You just have to believe in yourself.” 

She nodded at him and gave him a smile. She heard him huff out a breath before she saw his hand moving in front of her face. He waved it over her temple, and she was immediately lulled by the seductive feeling of sleep and uninterrupted rest. The last thing she registered before she faded to sleep was Ben kissing her on the forehead once more and situating her as comfortably as he could on her bed. 

~~

A/N: The endddd of this part! I'm loving writing this one, and I have no idea where it's going, so I'm just here for the ride. If you want to be added to a taglist, lemme know! And please reblog and comment! Likes are cool too but they don't get my work out there as much as reblogging!

-S

[biscuitblinkeu]

All You Had to Do Was Ask [2]

Kim Jisoo x Fem!reader

Word Count: 4562

Quick!: You’re still getting used to your wife, and she hopes your over it sooner than later. After learning that the sweet-swoons that come from her lips are reserved for you, you don’t know how to act. You try your best to contact your brothers but to no avail, the forest is against you. Turns out all you had to do was ask!

A/N: Got it out faster than I expected, and my sister helped a lot so I’m grateful for that. But this will probably be the normal word count for every chapter now on!

Jisoo seemed to grin at that, much wider than before. She leaned in close, her hands moving up from your ankles before resting on your thighs firmly. “Shall I show you how it is, then, darling? Would you let me be the first to deflower you?” Jisoo purred, eyes gazing darkly at you. You were certain she saw you shiver. 

You were afraid of this woman. She was making you feel things, making you nervous with her intense gaze and her touch. You were scared of the way she spoke and the way her voice sounded whenever she used it, the way it made your knees weak and sent tingles down your spine. She made your skin crawl in such an odd and exciting way. 

The feelings were foreign, and you weren’t one to go exploring just for the fun of it. You pushed her back by the shoulders gently; she didn’t resist. “I’m sorry, but I-I can’t,” you said weakly.

“Can’t or won’t, my love?” You stayed quiet, prompting Jisoo to huff. “That’s a real shame, however, I’d never force you.” Jisoo sighed, taking a few steps back much to your relief. Her ears flickered and she crossed her arms, looking at you with comprehension. “This is going to be difficult;  you make me…ravenous.”

You must’ve had a look of pure horror on your face because she chuckled, waving a hand dismissively. “Get those silly thoughts out of your head. I thought I made it clear I didn’t want to kill you?”

“Right,” you said dumbly. Maybe she didn’t want to kill you now, but later was uncertain.

Jisoo hummed, looking around the room before gazing at you again. “You will have to know some things, a few rules; and you will pick up things as time passes, but know, in every way possible— I will have you. I do not like sharing; I’m very possessive over what is mine,” she voiced seriously. 

You nodded and Jisoo smiled and approached again. You tensed up when she leaned down and unexpectedly gave you a kiss on the forehead. Her lips were soft and warm, and they lingered for a few moments. “Have a goodnight, I will see you in the morning, my love.” She began to walk towards the sliding door.

“You’re not sleeping in here?” You blurted, heat blooming at the back of your neck when she turned around and grinned, canines on display. Why did you even ask her that? You don’t want her to sleep beside you anyways, nor did you care about marital normalcy after being revealed. 

“I’m aware that’s a part of marital duties, but I’d like you to be more comfortable with me first. It wouldn’t do if you jumped out of your skin every time I shifted in bed or touched you now would it?” And without waiting for a response, she was gone. 

You sat there for a few moments, then let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. With its release your shoulders sagged and you curled in on yourself, head down; legs tucked up to your chest. It was quiet (save for the occasional hoot of an owl and crickets). Inside, however, there was an internal loudness— of thoughts.

Don’t, you told yourself sternly, just, don’t.

Don’t cry. Don’t think about anything.

 It will be okay. Everything will be fine.

…

But it wasn’t fine, no matter how many times you told yourself it was. Assaulted by images of your family, tears escaped your eyes and you sniffled and you sobbed, pushing yourself towards the headboard where you rested your head on the large pillows. You cried till you couldn’t produce tears anymore and till your head was throbbing; and by then you were truly exhausted.

As you began to slip into sleep, you could still feel Jisoo’s lips. The sensation still lingered on your forehead like a ghost, and you couldn’t stop yourself from remembering the feeling, the gentle pressure that left your skin buzzing, because strangely it brought you comfort.

…

You awoke to a sudden bright light infiltrating your closed eyes and the sound of humming. You opened your eyes gradually, vision somewhat foggy and dark, to see a figure standing by the now open window. You didn’t remember a window being— oh. You frowned.

You were still here. Away from your family. A Kumiho’s bride. 

“Good morning, Mister! — Or should I say Ms.?” She giggled. “I hope you slept well?”

The voice was Keo-woo, who you identified as the more energetic servant, not to mention the familiar jungle of the bells she had in her hair. You blinked, sitting up slowly. Your mouth was dry, and you were glad to see a glass of water on the nightstand. You drank it at a leisurely pace, watching the child-servant bounce around your room.

“I find it strange that if humans sleep too long, it has consequences, and if they sleep too little, it also has consequences. I bet it's fun to sleep though,” she rambled.

You cleared your throat, “You…don’t sleep?”

“Oh, no, that’s impossible. I have to keep working during the day and night. I’m physically unable to go to sleep anyways— I don’t even have eyes,” she told you seriously.

She doesn’t have eyes? Is that why she wears a mask? If so, you didn’t dwell on it and instead asked, “Then how do you get energy? Eating?”

“By playing!” She giggled, clapping her hands. “Would you play with me sometime? Jisoo doesn’t always have time to and playing with Jiseul is always so boring— and you seem like fun!”

You paused to take another sip from the glass before answering. You wanted to say: No. No, I am not a fun person to play with and please leave me alone (well, maybe you were still unsure if you should just accept how things were now and were unfairly taking it out on Keo-woo.) But she was so happy and so excited, and you were tired, so you swallowed your petty reluctance and nodded, giving her a smile. “Yeah, sure.”

Suddenly Keo hugged you tightly, which made you grunt slightly from the pressure, but you still accepted her affection with a small chuckle.

She retreated. “Yay! Thank you, thank you! I promise it’ll be fun! We could play hide and seek or tag or…” she rattled on, bouncing in place in front of you. “But oh— I’m getting carried away; I have to get you ready for the day. You didn’t get to take a bath last night after you arrived with everything happening, so we’ll start with that, okay?”

You nodded wordlessly, deciding to let her do her job and not give her a hard time. A bath would be nice, you thought as she led you out of the room and into a luxurious bathroom adjacent to it. 

The first thing you noticed was the large bathtub, the same size as the wall behind it, which was steaming and had flower petals floating in the bubbly water. The room had a delicious scent to it, reminiscent of jasmine and vanilla. There was also a large mirror on one side, its border made of gold. Flowers lavishly decorated the room, and you found yourself unable to look away. You’ve never seen those types of flowers before.

Keo-woo stopped in the middle of the room. “Taking in account how the village-servants bathed you— those barbaric, uncultured servants with no… All I want to say is we do things differently here and that'll make you more comfortable. Normally I’d help you bathe and do things, but I’m sure you’d want to bathe yourself? Have some time alone to relax?”

You nodded. 

“And before I leave, there’s a robe hanging up over there, along with undergarments Jisoo procured. Your outfit will be waiting in your room, and I’ll come back to help you with your hair, okay? Great.”

The door shut behind you with a click as Keo-woo left and you double-checked that it was locked. Then you took off your clothes and stepped in the bathtub. You sighed at the feeling of warm water against your skin, and relaxed into the bubbles until only your head was left. You eyed your clothes at the side of the tub distastefully; another reminder of your situation.

You relaxed in the tub for a while before actually scrubbing your skin and rinsing off. Once out, you dried off with a towel and then curiously looked at the undergarments laid on the dresser. They weren’t lingerie in any way, just regular and cotton. You picked the black bra up, surprised because you could actually fit it. It was the same with the underwear. Keo-woo said Jisoo got these? How did she know your size?

You then crossed the room and reached for the robe, putting it on. The soft, almost velvety feel of the material as you pulled it across your skin made you smile. The robe came down mid-thigh; and the sleeves ended at your elbows. It had a belt that you tied around your waist to keep it closed.

Opening the bathroom door, you peaked in the hallway not really wanting to be caught by stray servants, or worse, by the Kumiho. You tiptoed to your room, relaxing when you locked the door behind you.

Your clothes were indeed sitting on the vanity mirror’s chair. You pushed the robe down your shoulders, causing it to pool at your waist and forearms, and were just beginning to reach for the clothes when you heard a sneeze. 

(“A-chiiaaa.”)

You yelped, turning around so fast you felt slightly dizzy for a moment. Heart beating against your ribcage, jaw slackening more as you recognized the figure sitting on your bed that definitely wasn’t there before. 

Dressed in a beautiful black dress and a matching bow that tied up half of her hair, contrasting her white ears, she sat on the edge of your bed, facing you. 

Jisoo sniffled, scrunching her nose. “It’s a bit stuffy in here, you should open the windows,” she murmured. She uncrossed and crossed her legs, putting the right one on top of the left one now as she leaned back on her hands. She then stared, dark eyes trailing from your partially-covered thighs to the open, top-half of the robe where they lingered. She knew the undergarments would look good on you. 

You picked up your jaw that briefly fell on the floor and scowled, pulling the robe more securely on your shoulders hastily, causing her to pout. “You— Why are you here??”

“Is it such a crime to want to see my wife before breakfast?” She asked as she stood up, making her way towards you.

“Yes!” You hissed, clutching your robe tighter in the front. It is when you're not fully clothed! (In hindsight, maybe you shouldn’t be talking to a Kumiho with such an attitude.)

Jisoo stopped in front of you, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. “Is that so?…” She trailed off. Then you were abruptly pulled flush against her by the hips. Your hands flew to her shoulders, and you pushed yourself back to create what little space you were allowed.

 “Jisoo…” You warned, unsure whether to try and push her back again or stay still. The smell of her perfume, mixed with an underlying scent of something you couldn’t place; something intoxicating, tickled your nose. 

Nonetheless, her face was too close— all her picturesque features were magnified and her eyes looked almost black, yet they were expressive. They flickered across your face, familiarizing themselves with your features. They were searching. For what? You were absolutely clueless. They roamed your face, finally landing onto your lips.

“Jisoo.” You said again, more firmly. 

She looked at you again, bringing her hand up to your face. “I do so love the way you say my name.” She teased, running her fingers lightly against your cheeks. You gulped, trying to swallow past the lump that suddenly formed in your throat; despite the heat that radiated from her touch, you didn’t dare move, afraid of being burnt.

“You– what?”

She smiled. “I’m sorry for startling you, darling. But I don’t regret it, you’re beautiful.”

“Do you say things like that to everyone that gets sent to you?” You mumbled. Jisoo heard, and a dangerous glint flashed in her eyes.

If she was going to respond, she didn't have the time to, as a knock sounded at the door. It opened a moment later. Keo-woo was holding a tray with hair clips and accessories. The servant looked surprised at Jisoo’s presence.

She regarded Jisoo, bowing her head slightly, before shuffling over to the vanity next to you. Jisoo let go of you, taking a step back. She raised an eyebrow at you, silently saying she would come back to this. 

“Which one is prettier?” Keo-woo turned to Jisoo holding a beautiful black clip that had gold flowers engraved onto it, and another, a gold-toned, metallic, rectangular-shaped clip.

Jisoo smiled and pointed to the metallic accessory, “That one.”

You sat yourself in the wooden chair in front of the mirror, as directed by Keo-woo. You locked eyes with the fox-demon in the mirror. “I shall see you soon,” Jisoo intoned. She left the room, and you stared at the door with a sinking feeling. You were subtly chastened just now. Earlier, you’ve said something you shouldn't have said.

“You’re still not dressed?” Keo-woo whined. “Hurry, I can’t do your hair unless you get dressed first!”

…

After you got ready, you and Keo-woo made your way to the dining room, and were currently walking side by side.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why was Jisoo in your room earlier?” Keo-woo asked.

“She said she wanted to see me before breakfast,” you told her honestly. 

“She's made an exception this time I see.”

“An exception?” 

“Jisoo is very busy: she doesn’t usually show up for breakfast,” she told you. 

“I see…” You wondered why it was different now that you were here. Did she not eat breakfast with her past offerings?

You took a left turn, and down the hallway was a singular, grand door. You stopped and stared at the door. It was made of dark oak, designs of different foxes and landscapes were carved into it, along with a language unfamiliar to you.

“What’s written here?” You asked.

 Keo gave you a glance then shrugged slowly. “Only Jisoo knows, but I wager it’s the fox god’s language.”

Then the doors opened slowly, revealing a dining table that was elegant and long, containing fine polished wooden chairs with engraved roses and small flower decor on the legs. In the middle of the table there was a bouquet, and several platters set out already. There were glass windows all around the room, illuminating the crystal table with light that reflected prettily on the walls - and on the Kumiho who sat on the far end to where you entered. You suspected you were supposed to sit directly across from her, on the other side of the table. You began heading over, stopping when she called your name and gestured to the seat beside her. 

“Please, sit near me, darling.” She practically purred, smiling widely. You only nodded, hesitantly coming over to the spot. Once you were seated, she grinned and gestured to a taller, masked servant, who opened a steel door. Out rushed servants carrying covered, metal plates of food. A variety of dishes were placed at each seat (20 in total including your seat). Placed in front of you was a breakfast reminiscent of one you would eat back in the village. Compared to the other dishes, it was less extravagant, more simple, but it made you smile.

“I thought you would want something from home? Or if it’s not to your taste you can eat something else if you’d like?”

“No, this is fine, really. Thank you. But are you not eating?”

“I prefer not to eat what I like in front of you, it may be grotesque and ruin your appetite.”

You nodded stiffly. Grotesque? So she eats humans after all? Noticing you tense up at that, she clears her throat. “What I eat is nothing near what you could be thinking.” 

You nodded, feeling strangely reassured. Popping the yolk of your egg over rice and beef, you brought a portion to your lips, only to pause. Beside you, where a plate of cooked salmon was placed, silverware hovered in the air, cutting the salmon with a knife. It was like someone was eating next to you, yet they were invisible. Then you looked around and noticed all the other plates being eaten up by invisible individuals. What in the world?

Jisoo chuckled. “Some of the servants prefer to stay unseen, they can be very shy. Do not be alarmed though.”

Breakfast passed by surprisingly without incident, and you quickly got used to the invisible servants. Still, you found yourself unable to finish anything, no matter how tasty it looked, with Jisoo burning a hole through you. You felt self-conscious. She attempted to make small talk and ask about your life as you ate, but you avoided any serious conversation. And despite brushing most things off, she was content with just about anything from you, even if you said one word. 

“I don’t tell that to everyone that gets sent to me,” She speaks at some point, quiet, referring to the interrupted conversation earlier. “And you suit the word beautiful the best. Is that so unbelievable?”  

You didn’t say anything, stuffing a spoonful of rice in your mouth to hide that you were flustered. You could feel her stare on you, as if she could read your thoughts, but you refused to meet her eye. Once you had finished your meal, she rose from her seat and came behind you and lifted your chin, placing a kiss on your head. “I have some errands to run, so I’ll be taking my leave. Feel free to explore the manor, and take a servant with you.”

…

Jiseul and Keo-woo pulled you aside as soon as you left the dining area, immediately dragging you outside to a large open garden. Upon seeing it, a small gasp left your mouth, and you became entranced. There were roses, daffodils, sunflowers, wisteria, lilies, and about every flower you could ever imagine, even your mother’s favorite type, a chrysanthemum. They were potted symmetrically, even planted on small hilltop mounds with numerous stone statues of foxes and yokai. Crystals and gems shone in the dirt, seemingly powering the plants with nutrients as they glowed every few seconds. In the middle of the garden there was a large water fountain in an octagon shape, surrounded by vines and ivy. 

Your focus was broken by a sharp tug on your arm by one of the servants, and you glanced down to see Keo-woo. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked, referring to the luxurious garden. You nodded, and she made a small noise of approval. 

“Jisoo planted the garden herself!”

“Ah, she did?” Your lips parted in awe. “No wonder it’s so pretty. I’ve noticed a lot of flower memos in the manor, Jisoo must like flowers a lot.” 

“Yes she does,” Jiseul chimed in, then took your other arm. “Let’s play a game.” 

“Alright,” You said fondly. “What kind of game?”

“Hide and seek—and then tag, please? Please?! This is the perfect space!” Keo-woo begged.

You nodded at that, slightly overwhelmed by such energy they had. Hide and seek was a different matter, whereas there were plenty of places to hide, like in the greenhouse, forest, and gardens. You got found every time when they were the seeker (and you believed they were cheating, using their abilities maybe, because you had some pretty good hiding spots). 

During tag you found yourself chasing them the most due to how much you got tagged and how fast they were. You all were careful not to ruin the flowers by dodging with light steps. 

“Alright,” you heaved at some point, all breathless and flushed. “Why don’t you two keep playing and I'll take a little break?”

“Okay!” They said simultaneously, running off to continue their little games. You sat on a nearby stone, relieved you were off your feet. They were coming up with another game, something about being a knight. They were playing pretend. Jiseul wanted to be the knight, which erupted into an argument since Keo-woo wanted to also be the knight. She argued that he was too timid and she was far more courageous. 

You watched them bicker with an amused smile, yet your eyes were sad. They reminded you of your brothers. One energetic and seemingly always joyful, the other much calmer and rationalistic, making sure the other stayed safe. You felt a heavy feeling settle over as you reminisced, and a sharp pang to your heart that left you longing. You couldn’t help but wonder how they were doing. Did they miss you too? Were they doing well? They must, and you hoped they weren’t incredibly worried. Were they eating well? Taking care of themselves? Did Dong-woo keep her word? You hoped she did. And as you sat there wondering and worrying, you had an epiphany. You would send them a letter, some form of communication to let them know you're alive and well. 

…

It was the morning of the next day, and you were determined to send a letter to your brothers— behind Jisoo’s back. With the help of Jiseul, you had managed to gather the necessary supplies to get started writing the letter, although you had some difficulty. Your letters were quite long, and you knew you needed to get your point across in a shorter way. When you were satisfied with your letter, you were ready to send it. 

Although, sending it, and even making it to the sending process proved harder than you imagined.

After your first draft (because you had to write a new letter after something went wrong) was finished, you took a break and went to the bathroom. You came back to a crow hopping on your desk, having come through your open window.

“Shoo!” You hissed, flapping your hands. The crow tilted its head, unbothered by your presence and began poking around your desk. “Get lost!” You tried again, getting closer.

The crow then picked up your letter— how it picked that out of any of the papers scattered around your desk was beyond you— and preened its feathers.

“No!” You yelled, raising your hands up. “Drop it— hey!” The crow had flown off with your letter. 

The second letter you made, you kept your window closed. No birds were going to steal it this time. But the bird wasn’t the only obstacle. Whether it was the sky suddenly deciding to pour on your way to the south-gate mailbox, Keo-woo mistaking it for garbage, the letter flying away with the wind, or some random dog named Dalgom snatching it from your hand and chewing it up— you could not get that letter out. Jisoo didn’t mention that she had a pet!

One, rather sullen day— the third day of trying to send a letter secretly— Jiseul entered your room without knocking. He stopped in front of you and stared till you barked What?! at him. He asked why you gave up.

“Because I have no more options! Sending a letter clearly won’t work—” 

“We could sneak out,” Jiseul suggests.

“Sneak out?” You asked with raised brows. 

“Yes. We can go and see your family.”

“Really? But why?”

“Your moping is very depressing.” 

You frowned but didn’t argue. 

“We’d have to do it tonight though. I know the Barrier’s weakest location for tonight. Perhaps you could pass through.”

“Let’s do it.”

…

You could see the barrier nearing with each step you took towards the edge of the Forest, following behind Jiseul carefully with your hand in his. It was dark, almost too dark to the point you couldn’t make out anything besides the white clothing on the servant in front of you. Numerous sounds echoed around you both - the cries of birds, the wails of animals, and the branches snapping underneath both of your feet. After several minutes you made it, and in front of you was an almost translucent barrier, reflecting dull colors of the outside area. 

“This is it,” Jiseul said, stepping aside. “The weakest part of the barrier. All you have to do is walk through within five seconds of me opening it, and then—“ 

“Sneaking out, are we?” A booming voice filled the atmosphere, and you flinched. All of a sudden the sounds of the Forest got quiet, dying down to the lowest whisper as if the creatures themselves were scared.  

“I think we should go back,” You fretted. “She sounds— Are you kidding me?” You groaned. Jiseul was gone, just like the time before. 

Jisoo sounded close. And you were getting a strong sense of déjà vu. You took a step back from the barrier and hit something solid. The familiar scent of the Kumiho enveloped you and you knew you've done it now. “Jisoo!” You gasped, attempting to quickly move away but she reached her arms out, swiftly circling them around your waist tightly and pulling you back. “Jisoo, I—”

“Shh.. You should’ve asked to leave, I would’ve taken you myself. It would’ve saved you from all this trouble of coming out here late. You don’t even have something warm on,” she chastened.

“How did you know I was…?” 

She turned you around, “I know everything that goes on in this forest.” The animals are her eyes and ears, the Barrier her trap and defense.

“Why did all my letters fail to make it out?” You couldn’t help but ask. Was your bad luck her causing?  

“It was not my doing, I assure you. The forest and those dwelling in it are a living barrier. Nothing gets in or out without my permission. It’s merely a protective measure. But if you had asked…”

“…Right.” You looked down to avoid her eyes. If you weren’t so cautious around Jisoo, getting around on your tippy-toes, fearing what would happen if you made a mistake, you wouldn’t be in this situation. She’s implying all you had to do was ask, and she would’ve let you and-or helped you. 

“What do I have to do to get you to understand I’m not all bad?” Jisoo wondered, taking your hands in hers. She smoothed her thumbs over the skin there, tracing miscellaneous shapes. There was something sullen about it, almost like she was disappointed in you. 

“I don’t know,” You murmured. “I just—I’m scared. I don’t know if I can trust you or marry you when I was whisked away from my family in a matter of hours— to come here. And all the stories I’ve heard? It’s just…hard.” 

“I understand, and I truly apologize. I cannot get rid of your doubts with a snap of a finger, but I do hope you will come to learn that a lot of those stories aren’t true.” she said sincerely. 

“Yes,” you whispered.

Jisoo squeezed your hands. “How about we visit them? Would you like that? It’s much better than sending a letter.” 

A/N: Trying to get out of the habit of using “…” to break up scenes or time skips lol. And I hope y’all realize that when I write purred, growled, or what not, I don’t mean it literally… It’s more of a tone thing- like, for example, purred is like a seductive tone? 🙁

Would you like to continue?

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 17: VCDRKAA & 18: language & 19: knowledge & 20: again

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 17: VCDRKAA & 18: language & 19: knowledge & 20: again

I hope no one was expecting a line-by line complex exegesis of chapter 17, because I generated a wall of TEXTSLOP. It was never intended to mean anything specific, although I did edit it selectively, for poetry and interest. I didn't really expect anyone to read it, I just wanted them to open the chapter and go "what the fuck is this shit??"

I think I used this page to generate it, which must be twenty years old, at the absolute minimum, and the code is from the 1990s. It's beyond irritating that Markov chain text generators, along with other venerable methods of cut-up and creative mixology, are probably now tarred with the same brush as bullshit like chatGPT. Anyway, you could call it a Small Language Model, in that it only uses the text you put into it, doesn't steal it to do plagiarism, and doesn't require the energy and water usage of a small country to run.

I... had totally forgotten which texts I put into it, and had to spend way too long cross-checking fragments. All I remembered was that the nonsense-title of the chapter was taken from the title-letters of the input books, and it was supposed to be things Iriel had recently encountered, to represent a chaotic vomiting of his subconscious.

I think it's this:

V = 36 Lessons of Vivec

C = Chimarvamidium

D = The Book of Dawn and Dusk

R = A Less Rude Song

K = The Ruins of Kemel-Ze

A = Song of the Alchemists

A = Words of Clan Mother Ahnissi

...but I'm pretty sure there's also Special Flora of Tamriel there, in an uncredited role. I don't think that, or Song of the Alchemists is mentioned as something Iriel reads in-fic, but since Ire's an alchemist, I shovelled them into the word-hopper, too. I suspect I never noticed at the time that Song of the Alchemists is not an alchemical textbook, but silly Marobar Sul doggerel, and not exactly something Iriel would read.

Anyway, please do go ahead and cancel me for "writing fic with AI".

Playlist pick: Of Montreal - Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse. For when you really, really need the drugs to work. Or something to work. Anything. It's all just chemicals, right? C'MON, CHEMICALS!

Once we're done with the psychedelic breakdown, we have a temptation scene, specifically, Iriel wakes up in a wizard's bed, and barely resists intellectual seduction by House Telvanni.

The mage laid the book across the bed and opened it, revealing page after page of writing in Dwemer script.

Neither of them can read it yet, but the book is Divine Metaphysics, one of the three books you need to solve Trebonius' Dwemer mystery quest.

He sighed, and turned another page, revealing a complicated diagram of… Iriel wasn’t sure, but he was interested enough to sit up fully, and examine it. “Chimarvamidium,” he said, eventually.

Iriel is reacting to the diagram in the book of an anthropoid Dwemer construct, a theme that also occurs in Chimarvamidium. The picture under his nose is almost certainly Numidium, something he should be at least theoretically aware of. Tiber Septim used it to conquer Summerset in the Second Era, within living memory of older Altmer, and if Ire wasn't concentrating in history class, he was fourteen years old at the time of The Warp in The West. Admittedly, the giant robot was stomping about in Daggerfall, by then (so no trying to claim it had any weird effects on Ire's developing psyche!), and perhaps even a Dragon Break was barely a blip on his radar, compared to the horrors of being a teenager in Lillandril. Either way, Ire misses the obvious fact about the picture, and makes a more remote connection, something Baladas takes as evidence of a subtler, more esoteric intellectual approach, when it's actually far more to do with:

“I’m sorry. I think I’m still sssomewhat under the effects of an Imperial fuckton of skooma.

Iriel was previously only ever doing moon sugar. Skooma is much, much stronger, more addictive, and, for a magic-sensitive Altmer, extremely psychoactive and hallucination-inducing. He also drank two bottles, straight. Skooma is a liquid, and can be drunk, but is more commonly smoked (inhaled as a vapour?) through a pipe. I am assuming that smoking is the preferred method because the effects are slow and gentle, whereas drinking it is extremely neither of those things.

Yes, fine, the line about skooma being like "eight hundred orgasms tied to a brick" is an echo of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy description of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster cocktail as being "like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick". NO that is NOT a pop culture reference, that's just me stealing shit, which is totally different okay?

“Was that a Daedroth back there?”

Baladas keep a pet Daedroth. Wait... is it a pet? Are they sentient? Some of them are named, and have relationships to other characters that could imply they were intelligent. But... hmm. Dangerous tangent. Let's assume it's just a pet, yeah?

“It’s adorable! What’s its name?” Ire poked it, giggling in delight as it contracted its metal limbs back into its shell.

Again. Please let the record show that the first time Iriel interacted closely with a non-hostile Dwemer automaton, he was overcome with nothing more lascivious or sinister than childlike glee and wonder. You filthy animals.

Poor little centurion, does your daddy not even care enough to–”

He did indirectly call a Telvanni wizard "daddy", though. I can't really defend him from that one, since I'm pretty sure he knew exactly what he was doing*. And so did Baladas, because he shut that bullshit down FAST.

(* exactly what he was doing = being very silly and no-filter. Iriel is not actually looking to get "mentored" by a much older wizard, even if he could find one more interested in doing it.)

“The miners report that a screaming, semi-transparent Altmer, covered in weeds and soaking wet, broke into the eggmine from the lower levels.

This whole bit is confusing, and I don't like it. It's not funny, and it really doesn't matter about the stupid route Iriel took to end up with the book on Baladas' doorstep. But yes, you can get into the Gnisis eggmine via the riverbed outside town, and from there, into the Dwemer ruin and back. If he knew, Iriel would feel smug about the fact Edwinna would have tried to make him go there, on purpose, later, if she hadn't expelled him by then.

“Auri-El, what did you do to them?” Ire had heard about Telvanni methods.

While he hasn't encountered many Telvanni in Morrowind, he would have read things like this, in which Telvanni mages are notorious for being fans of inventive magical torture.

Iriel knew the score. Baladas Demnevanni was a serious Dwemer scholar, [...] He could make far better use of it than Ire ever would. And yet, something in Iriel resisted.

Iriel does know the score, and part of the score that he knows is: while Baladas is much older and more powerful, he's not technically Iriel's senior. Because Ire's not in House Telvanni, or any other structure that makes him Demnevanni's subordinate. Which Ire leaves free to resist. Sure, Baladas could take the book by magical force, but Iriel has enough pride to want to force him to do that, to not capitulate based purely on academic bluster. (Yes, of course Iriel can have a powerful and resilient scholarly ego, while simultaneously having zero self esteem. You've met academics, right?)

“It’s mine,” he said. “I found it. And I never asked you to take care of me.”

Saying this feels good. It's true: he didn't ask to be taken care of. And Baladas' reasons for doing so are cleanly self-interested, and make perfect sense to Ire. There's no messy pity involved, no need to spare the feelings of someone who thought they were being a good person, when you're too bitter and damaged to be grateful. This whole conversation is, in many ways, Iriel's ideal type of social interaction.

I will give you information about the location of Dwemer ruins on Vvardenfell, and in return, you will bring me any more books that you find there.”

The location of known Dwemer ruins on Vvardenfell is not, at this point in time, especially secret information, so Baladas is rather getting the better end of this deal. But if he wasn't, he wouldn't be making it, would he?

The only people qualified are my fellow mages, but Telvanni do not co-operate. Anything they found, they would keep for themselves.

His reasoning checks out, though, so Iriel is inclined to trust him. I really did think Ire would take him the other books at some point, and Ire himself intended to at various points, but... in the end, things got complicated. Iriel comes back to Gnisis, but not to Arvs Drelen, and he keeps all his findings to himself.

“Sweet Mara, no. I just want to be left alone to read.”

“You have just spoken the unofficial motto of House Telvanni.

The problem, I suppose, is that Ire is entirely too Telvanni at heart. It was always touch-and-go, as to whether he'd find an excuse to join the House. After all, he's perfect for it... but that's exactly why he resisted.

Iriel knows he's an obsessive, isolationist weirdo, who's probably going to end up alone in a tower, reading esoterically taboo books all day. Surrounded by robots and summoned Daedra, because that's the only level of social contact he's capable of tolerating. He knows all that, he knows exactly the sort of person he is. He just doesn't like that person. And when Telvanni start tempting him to fully embrace weird hermit mage life, he's forcefully reminded of what Telvanni are known for, and how isolating yourself with only Daedra for company makes you lose all contact with pedestrian concepts like "morality", and "not torturing people to death with lightning spells".

Clearly, Ire's being ridiculous to think his own morality is so fragile, but after the day he's had, he's feeling fragile in all sorts of ways, and unwilling to trust his own limits.

each mage seeks only solitude and freedom to continue his or her work.” [...] “Knowledge may be power,” he was declaiming, “but for some of us, it is enough that knowledge is knowledge.

And Ire's right to question the actual content of Baladas' rhetorical  flourishes: freedom to do what? Power to do what? Knowledge of what? Doesn't it matter? The Telvanni answer certainly seems to be "no". But Ire's experiences with education have left him questioning the value of the "knowledge" he obtained. Certainly, if he was supposed to convert it into power, he appears to have missed a crucial step in the process. He's not sure he wants Telvanni instruction, for taking that step.

He stood up, and began to concentrate a sphere of magicka between his hands. “Where should I send you?”

I have a question about teleportation. What are the rules? Guild guides only transport people to other guild halls, but is that restriction due to rules, or ability? UESP says that guides "maintain magical contact with their counterparts in other branches", but I can't find an ingame source for this. If true, that would explain the restriction, but I'm not sure I buy it. It's possible for a guild guide to send you into a guildhall where the "receiving" guild guide is no longer there, for example during this quest. And the mage who sends you to Mournhold in the Tribunal expansion isn't a guild guide, but sends you as a favour, since she's a "powerful mage".

So: my theory is that it's totally possible for a skilled mage to teleport people to other locations without another linked mage "catching" them, but the right location helps. Receiving chambers are magically set up in guildhalls to act as teleportation beacons, and that's the focus, rather than the other guide. This fits with how Divine and Almsivi Intervention work, not to mention Mark and Recall. Guild guides are trained to be specially attuned to these beacons, but any sufficiently powerful Mysticism expert can sling people into them, as Baladas does, here. Really powerful ones might not even need beacons, though I imagine there are exponential risks to the subject, as the location gets more distant and/or unfamiliar.

So, because it's theoretically possible, if difficult, I also think there are strict rules about where guild guides can send people, just like you can't ask the bus driver to take you anywhere you want, even if he technically could. Because teleportation would have to be a highly regulated skill! You can't just send people anywhere, that could cause all sorts of trouble.

As an aside, every guild guide in Morrowind is a beautiful woman. There's something a bit retro air stewardess about that, isn't there? Male game devs thinking women should be in travel service roles, or something? Hmm.

“Um… Ald'ruhn, please. The Mages’ Guild, for preference, but as long as you don’t teleport me inside a wall, I’ll be happy.”

Iriel's not keen to launch into his Queer Coded Villain arc, yet. So despite Baladas' blandishments, it's back to the loving arms of the Mages' Guild, for now.

“I want you to know,” Edwinna was saying, “that this is not about the Dwemer tube.

...Ah. Never mind.

“Whilst you were gone, some disturbing information came to light. When I agreed to mentor you, I was unaware of the crimes for which you were convicted in Cyrodiil. I’m sure you understand why the theft of magical artifacts is not something I can simply ignore.”

I realised something really funny just now, which is that if Edwinna has been digging into Iriel's background check, presumably through a contact at the Arcane University, then she must know Iriel is also supposed to have straight-up murdered one of his professors. But that's not what's bothering her at all!

“In addition, there is the matter of your drug abuse.

I can only assume that when Iriel took a little too long returning with the Dwemer tube, she couldn't resist the temptation to go through his bedroom. In her ensuing freak-out at finding DRUGS, it emerged that no one had ever actually looked into the squirrelly-looking Altmer's claim on application that he'd studied at the Arcane University.

Ire stopped recasting the Paralyze spell on himself

I was determined to try and find creative ways to use Illusion spells, and to some extent, that was the motive for this whole scene.

He had fully expected to burst into tears as soon as he was alone, possibly sooner, but instead, he found himself gripped by a cold fury.

So, I had planned to get Iriel expelled for a while, and originally I, like Iriel himself,  assumed that he would be devastated, because the number of times he's got himself kicked out of magical institutions is ridiculous at this point. But coming right off the conversation with Baladas, that wasn't where his head was at, at all. He was furious, and when a character gives you the gift of an unexpected emotional reaction, you always gotta lean into it, because it's one of my favourite things about writing. Iriel's vitriolic contempt for the Mages' Guild (and Edwinna Elbert in particular) gave him the motivation to do all sorts of fun things later, and really channel that "I'll show those fools at the institute!" energy. Even if he never did join House Telvanni.

At the last minute, he stopped, turned back, and retrieved Vivec’s Sermon 14 from under the bed.

On the one hand, yes, I am making fun of Iriel for considering porn* an essential, but also... not entirely? At the risk of getting too brutally real about mental illness, masturbation can be a key hammer in the mental toolbox, albeit one that tends not to get included on cute little listicles of harm-reduction coping techniques like taking bubble baths or snapping an elastic on your wrist. For people who spend their lives trying to manipulate their brains into staying above the line marked "basic functionality", orgasm can occasionally seem like the brief boost of feel-good chemicals that might kick it over that line. It is, at any rate, cheaper and safer than many alternatives, and while it's not nearly as effective as skooma, at least you don't have to fight smugglers in a cave for it. Or worse, interact with Tsiya.

*Iriel's current opinion of said text. We can make fun of him for this one.

“I’m sorry, Iriel.” Erranil shook her head, primly. “I’m no longer authorised to transport you.

It is the stupidest fucking thing that you don't have to be a member of the Mages Guild to use guild guide transportation, but if you've been expelled from the guild, they put you on a permanent no-fly list! This was often extremely annoying, ingame.

That said, it was funny to be playing the opposite of a "proper" Morrowind character, who ends up head of all the factions, including being Pope of two different religions at once. Iriel, by contrast, got expelled while still Apprentice rank in the Mages, never got past the early ranks in Thieves, and while he got one or two Imperial Cult ranks, he stopped once it wasn't going to get him laid any more.

But yes, I did get Iriel ingame-mechanically-expelled from the Mages' Guild on purpose (possibly by stealing a spoon?). For immersion. Method gamer, y'know.

next: 21: refinement & 22: fragile previous: 13: legs & 14: plan & 15: claws & 16: door

[agender-john]

PLEASE explain some things about HOMESTUCK MINUS CANON i am LEGITIMATELY INTERESTED

Instead of getting an ultimatum n splitting the timeline based on johns decision i chose to make it all sunshine n rainbows cause i love the fluff n i will never forgive the epilogues for jumpscaring me w dirk hanging himself in what was supposed to be the silly lighthearted timeline

So far i don't really have a plot just everyone hanging out

The remaining trolls ask john to save the rest of the trolls like he saved vriska in the retcon with the only exception being vriska herself he tried talking to her trying to convince her that fighting lord English isn't worth it n to please just go to earth c w him but she's too far up her own ass to abandon her delusions of grandeur

I haven't drawn anything about it yet but i imagine he'd also try to talk to ghost vriska trying to save any vriska at that point but she's made peace with living the rest of her days in the dying dream bubbles or something like that

I thought more about the humans than the trolls but back on earth c everyone is living their domestic lives

Rose n kanaya still adopt a troll daughter but this time they don't name her after vriska cause in my heart kanaya fucking hates her n rose is indifferent their daughter is a mutant blood like karkat cause kanaya n karkat actually have a positive relationship unlike a certain blue person (also something something dolorosa parallels) karria is the one who admires vriska n models herself after her much ti kanyas horror

Jade ends up w davepeta as opposed to having negative rizz n no one wanting them they also don't have a baby w rose behind kanayas back yaaay i imagine ruby kinda resents jade cause they had a hands off approach to parenting inspired by dear ol grandpa (i am not sure how davepeta would be as a parent I'm making this up as i go along)

Jake n rox end up together cause i couldn't care less about janejake or dirkjake n i love crackships also rox is trans it's the only thing I'm keeping from meat cause i love him transmasc rox haters go make ur own au anyways merlin is a silly what is he a wizard or something that sounds gay

John n dave have a little situationship going on both of them are pining hard but dave isn't ready to commit n john to me seems like he'd want kids i think he'd want to n love being a dad so casey jr became real me thinks even if dave is not ready to commit he'd drop everything to support john n casey if john asks him but john doesn't wanna force the parent lifestyle on him blah blah your feelings matter too whatever they're emo it's kinda gay tbh

This is as far as i thought about in depth the other characters are there i just haven't thought of what to do w them i could pair up the trolls too this is my dollhouse after all equitav is definitely gonna be there i love them so much

My problem is w jane n dirk cause they're so awful in the post canon content i genuinely have no idea how to even begin to cater them to my liking everytime i see them in the epilogues n 2 i just think of this

At the very least jane won't be the fucking evil president cause mayor is right there n he's already perfect n dirk won't be insufferable n completely mischaracterised it's like the ppl writing this didn't even comprehend their character arcs I'll stop now before i reveal too much of my post canon opinions

I also wanna explore a little bit of vriskas side w her refusing to take the L n not pretend to be the hero n watching everyone in the dream bubbles die cause of her hubris I'd take vriska war trauma over whatever the fuck is going on in the meat timeline anytime

Also also trying to brain of a way to involve the sprites i think about them i luv them

Like i said I'm making this as i go who knows what I'll come up w next

[astroboyanalysis]

7. The Greatest Robot on Earth

oh boy here we go

As a warning, this liveblog may take me multiple days (or like, a week, I literally don't know) to get all the reblogs on. The way you will know I am truly done is 1. I will say so on that reblog above the readmore and 2. I will post the next story. Won't do that until I'm done with this one, obviously.

Let's get started.

(I begin the first panel and am immediately affronted with what I must acknowledge is racism) ah

I am not the best person to speak on this. I am also likely not the first (although a quick google search has not revealed essays to me) to see this and recognize its heavy anti-arab racism and caricature. Because I am not the best person to speak on this, aside from pointing out that I do in fact recognize this and asking that you as the reader of this blog also recognize this, there is not much I am planning to discuss on it. I can't imagine there's much that hasn't already been said. It was wrong to portray a person or culture this way then, and it's wrong now. That's all I'll say for now.

Glad he has such a convenient visual for us. Also, I'm so fond of these robot designs. I love Pluto but boy are these silly and fun.

This sounds both normal to want and achievable as a goal, yeah

This is one of those just actually horrific moments, lmao. The gore of it all. The fact that his horns seem made to simply pass current through whatever touches them, or to arc electricity almost, is just wild. If I'm understanding the visual correctly and its meant to bring forward arcs of electricity like a taser, but at such a large scale, I'm fairly certain it would simply melt one of these robots if it didn't blow them up.

I'm glad we've moved past this visual.

I am somewhat curious if it was meant to be received as funny at the time. It must have been, right...?

Atom's characterization in the original manga is so starkly different to how its developed over time (and especially with multiple authors at this point). He's so ready to fight and doesn't stop to think at all - I'm so fond of the (cough, 2003, cough) idealistic and pacifistic Atom who only fights when there is no choice we've come to love now. The parallels between his appearance (childlike) and his views on the world (naive) are clear and the way that clashes with the events in the world around him and pushes him into these really difficult situations is just so much more compelling to me, idk. I really do love the "I don't want to fight you, I want to help you, I want to be your friend" (and actually meaning it) approach.

Some of what I really love about Astro Boy is that Atom's idealism has truth to it, but it puts him in conflict with others. The truth is somewhere in the idea that everyone has a right to exist, that everyone has value, that robots and humans can coexist - But just because it's true doesn't mean it's uncontroversial, and his existence being in opposition to others interests is what pushes him to make hard decisions. He's being shown again and again these conflicts that arise when humans make robots with bad intentions, when humans mistreat robots, when they try to live together, etc. etc., but his childlike and naive approach to the world LETS him keep hope that the better future he believes in will come to pass. His permanent youth is paralleled by his permanent optimism and the fact that he simply won't become jaded - or at least, not for long.

Gosh I can't wait to get to 2003 again.

I could talk about how the antidote to apathy and becoming overwhelmed with the horrors of the world is in what kids bring to the table forever. But it's all there, isn't it?

Anyway "I'll teach you to make a fool of me" while being inches away from certain death is very funny. "You think that's funny? I'm about to be hilarious"

Can't argue with that!

I love when Ochanomizu gets to have a moment like this.

This moment directly parallels something Atom said earlier, actually:

Anyway. "If it was only about strength" is a very important quote here and I'll probably come back to it at the end of the story. He really sums it all up right at the beginning though. What a good father figure. Although he does say ""only"" 100,000 horsepower which seems silly.

Uran what the hell lmao. He's clearly upset why are you egging him on like that.

Ok I do love how angry and ashamed he is here. The Atom we see in this comic specifically seems to base a lot of his value on his ability to win a fight through brute strength, which is kind of interesting. It's also interesting when we see this sort of character be so submissive to authority - It indicates there's a heirarchy beyond strength that they do have to acknowledge (social capital, respect of elders, something in there), yet they value strength so highly maybe because it's the heirarchy they can control, somewhat. And yet here he's been told he's not allowed to get stronger to win.

(Guy that likes bugs) I'm getting some real bugs vibes from North #2's design

He's shaped like a praying mantis to me, sort of. I'm about to say the same thing when we see Gesicht as well, but he looks more like a fly.

The idea of this being impersonal is very strange to me, but also very compelling. I will ignore how much I love Pluto's approach to this manga because I'm not commenting on differences here, and I'm just going to talk about it as its own characterization. Like a normal person.

Why would Pluto have any amount of hatred towards the robots he's meant to destroy? They're more alike him than the one commanding him to kill them. There's a kind of tragedy in this, I suppose - although he's not particularly against hurting them, either. But the fact he feels a need to tell them it's not personal is interesting.

Uran also having the same idea of Atom's value that he himself does, but having very little care for Ochanomizu's wisdom on the matter (while Atom dejectedly accepts it as fact) puts them in conflict here - She expects more of him than he's showing - Why is he bowing down now? But Atom also values his own niceties, his deference to power, and his acceptance of the authority of the one who, in a way, owns him.

We do see that Ochanomizu tells Atom he's free in the first comic, yet Atom continues to treat Professor Ochanomizu as if he created him, and values his authority above all else. As of yet, we haven't seen him directly disagree with Professor Ochanomizu or his authority, and he does act basically the way any owned robot (or a child born to a parent) would (seems to stick around Ochanomizu, listens to what he says and obeys, etc.), just with far more freedoms and independence.

Basically, in this first iteration, their relationship is very difficult for me to parse out. He's certainly paternal, he's certainly a guiding figure, and he certainly has authority over Atom that Atom does not question, but Atom is given a full family unit outside of the Professor, and the Professor is not his creator.

We have not (yet) seen a reason for Atom to understand that Ochanomizu's authority is earned, like, for example, him disobeying and then finding that Ochanomizu was right all along. This iteration of Atom lacks the tendency of children to push boundaries or to think independently, it seems.

her pajamas are just so cute

CONFIRMED they're pants in this iteration and not a permanent part of his body.

Great question, Uran! It'd be awesome if we had any introduction to you or your creation before reading this comic so that this would strike us in any way at all. But alas, that is not the order of the omnibus.

Still, she has a good point as far as we're concerned. Why didn't he do that? Why aren't there a bunch of Atoms flying around all the time? I'm curious if the manga itself will actually answer this.

Pluto himself is so deeply interesting to me. He does smile while he fights the robots he's been ordered to fight, and while he kills them, and yet he seems to value robots in general on a basic level. He made it clear it was not a personal issue and was because he was ordered to, but it's still interesting to me that he doesn't seem to care one way or the other about violence. He doesn't like it enough to enact it when he hasn't been ordered to.

Ochanomizu has the authority to Forbid Atom from fighting. It's clear Atom is choosing not to, at Ochanomizu's request, so taking a hostage to force him into it also indicates to me that it's a choice to obey that can be overriden if Atom wills it (and that, without this motivation, he simply doesn't, or prefers to defer to Ochanomizu out of respect, obligation, or otherwise).

"Baby sister" is so cute considering that she never was a baby

His kindness.... What made him like that. I do love him so much

I do love that Atom's mercy plays a major role here. I think it's interesting that Pluto asks in the first place.

"That's what I was designed to do" is an answer that isn't immediately rebuffed by Atom with anything about freedom to choose your path or anything. He seems to mostly stay quiet on what other robots do in their positions, from what we've seen, and doesn't particularly care to help anyone liberate themselves if they don't already want it in the first place.

Can any Astro Boy scholars let me know what the original text says in Japanese and what the meaning of the word used is? Tomboy just seems so strange here and I'm curious how faithful the translation is to the original text. I'm not even sure how to go about finding a copy of the story in Japanese, frankly, because it's so old.

But why....? His father doesn't even seem to have his own take on this or care that it's dangerous, it's all about the fact that Ochanomizu told him to.

He's just very flylike to me

Again. horrific.

Okay I don't have anything to say but Cobalt's really cute in this panel. Anyway I'll continue this in a reblog because I've run out of images!

[harimenui-forever]

I do not wish to be mean, but like, I feel like the format of tmagp is making the horror lesser for me... some stories are too quick for the fear to sink in (first episode) or like it happens at the very end so you don't really get much of it and it just kinda leaves you there (episode 5), episode 6 is very silly to me and like I think it knows that? But that doesn't make it scary and maybe it doesn't want to be idk.

Episodes 2, 3 and 4 are good. They're not necessarily scary, the bit with the tattoo in episode two is kinda silly? But the face thing is good. It's shocking, a different kind of dread but sure.

Episode 3 made me frustrated at the guy, then I realised he couldn't actually leave and like yeah the idea of this is kinda creepy and the acceptance and just I dunno how to put it, it works, but it did not make me shiver with fear yknow?

Episode 4 was fun, probably my favourite, but it's not very scary. To me it makes up for that with the story though, the themes, the morality and the time it takes to go through the story. It adds gravity to it. It's a fucked up lil episode with a lot of story and character

All in all, I have a feeling that the horror is not as much of a focus as it used to be in tma, which might be great for other people, but I've always appreciated the horror of tma, even when I liked the characters and the story. And I understand comparing the two is a bit strange, but... I understand that the "statements" are different here, they're not from scared people who survived something weird/horrible, they're from people who are deep into becoming something else (?), from people who have not survived most likely and, just like for them, there's not enough time for us to be afraid before it's over. And there are strengths to this approach too, I just...

I've relistened to the Anglerfish, because I was scared that perhaps I've just grown numb to the horror, but no. I could still feel the shivers run down my spine, I could still feel the dread building with every new detail, every new small thing that was off and just... terrifying.

The first episodes are so widely different when it comes to horror I think. And it's hard to put my finger on it, but I feel like the role of the investigation afterwards is missing and with it some of the horror.

It feels unfair to compare an entire episode statement with just one statement from the two in tmagp ep 1, but hear me out.

The reveals in mag1 are just very well done. You have the setting being creepy, you have the line being repeated and reenacted in that weird tone twice, before the guy notices on the 3rd time that the figure is not opening its mouth. You have the swaying pointed out multiple times and each time it feels a bit more extreme, weirder, the simile used to describe it, the anglerfish, is so vivid and creepy and RIGHT. When he realises its feet are not touching the ground. The weird way it disappears. AND THEN, because he survived you get the reveal of him finding cigarettes there the next day and connecting them to the missing person. That could have been him. But that's not all, sure Jon is a little bitch, but the reveal of more disappearances adds more credibility. And THEN the cherry on top is the photo, the hand (?), beckoning.

Now let's look at the email from tmagp1. It is very short. There is a set up yes, but the reveal is just...immediate, it lacks the suspense. Like the concept is scary. But the laughter, the laughter is just...sooooo, it's not that scary. Just, it's harder to describe what's not working here than it is to describe what DOES work in mag1. I guess I could focus on the absence of things...

Man, I do sound like an old man swearing at a cloud, my friend would laugh at me and call me 240 years old, I am never beating the allegations

Anyway, in short, I know this podcast aims to be different. I can see it. The character interactions, the more intrusive listening in etc. However, in my humble opinion, the horror gets the short end of the stick here. I wish it didn't

[kayla-crazy-stuffs]

Awww no am sorry to about that! I would've love to see it :(

oOoOO en serio?? 👀 I'd honestly love some more Hermandad obscura, maybe the g!brotherhood deciding what to do w tiny Quackity (or who will get to nom him sksksk) lotsa angst! :D

Or if we feeling fluffy, t!Vegetta and g!Rubius having a canon typical silly argument, so basically this;

(but g/t and Vegetta ends up grounded XD)

Btw you can request some Karmaland as well! :] I never get to write them and I'd love to (just know I didn't watch much of 4 and I mostly know the main guys of 5)

I'm finally answering this!! I'm sorry it took so long! D:

I decided to go with the first option, although, in this first part, from the dark brotherhood, only Rubius appears. The rest will appear in a future, anyways, hope you enjoy :]

TW: Safe/HARD vore, blood, cannibalism mention (kinda), fearplay

It had been a few weeks since Rubius suspected something was lurking around his house. He thought it could be a carnivorous or omnivorous animal, since it apparently liked to eat pieces of his meat.

He usually woke up with various wounds on his hands, ears, or neck, and although he wasn't particularly interested in knowing what this creature was, it bothered him to have to constantly use a regeneration potion.

And one day, the straw that broke the camel's back fell. He was not going to forgive him for this.

The fucking creature had torn up the photo of his deceased 8 year old son, Brayan! Rubius began to place quite a few traps around the house. He would catch that creature without hesitation.

Once he placed them all, he put on his dark brotherhood outfit and left the house. He had to work, he would be able to see if the creature had fallen into any of the traps when he returned.

//

Quackity slowly came out of hiding once the 'human' left the house. The little duck-hybrid Borrower carefully walked around to confirm that the 'human' was gone.

Once he was able to confirm that the bear was gone and wouldn't be back for a few hours, he began "borrowing," collecting some things he needed.

It didn't take him long to get everything, but when he was going to go back, he couldn't move. Quackity should have watched where he was stepping on...

He looked down in horror, seeing that both of his feet were caught in a glue trap. He used both hands to help his legs to try to get his feet out of the glue as soon as possible.

It would be really bad if the 'human' found him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get away from the trap. He even thought about removing his feet from the slippers, but good luck was not on his side as the trap was so deep that it had stuck up to his shins.

He continued trying to get away, not realizing that a few hours had already passed, which meant that... The main door opened and in a few seconds it closed again. Footsteps approached towards the place where he was trapped.

He looked up, his eyes widening in fear, staring in terror at the black mask with a completely white smile and bright, scary red eyes. The 'human' was back.

//

Rubius let out a sigh as he finally returned to his house. He opened the door and without removing his mask or suit yet, he entered, closing the door once inside. He headed to his room, the place where he set one of the many glue traps, although he didn't think he had caught the creature.

However, he was quite surprised when he saw that something actually fell into the trap. A large smile formed behind his mask, as he stepped closer to the creature.

"Well well, what do we have here, huh? The disgusting creature that ate pieces of my flesh and tore up my son's photo, has turned out to be an insignificant borrower..." he said, still smiling behind the mask, while his hand grabbed the borrower and pulled him out of the trap, not caring at all that he was harming him.

The borrower squirms trying to get out of Rubius's grasp. The bear hybrid let out a laugh, bringing the borrower closer to his face. “Squirming is not going to help you at all, you are wasting your energy.”

Rubius thought for a few minutes about what he should do with the little duck hybrid. Soon, an idea crossed his mind, the smile he had behind the mask, widening. He lifted his mask slightly, just enough so that his mouth was visible.

"You know? I have an idea about what to do with you.” The borrower continued to squirm in fear. “Since you have eaten pieces of meat from my hands and ears, I will do you the same favor.”

The duck hybrid froze, terrified. Rubius brought him closer to his mouth as it opened, showing his sharp, completely white teeth. The bear hybrid put one of Borrower's small legs in his mouth, closing it around the leg. He licked it for a moment before biting the leg hard.

The borrower let out a cry of pain when Rubius bit his leg, now moving him away from his mouth and placing him on the table for a few seconds while he chewed the leg inside his mouth, he did not want the borrower's blood to stain the floor.

Once he was satisfied, he swallowed, humming lightly. "You're tastier than I expected... We should do this more often." The duck hybrid looked at him terrified, while Rubius picked him up again.

The bear hybrid simply popped him into his mouth, sucking on the small body for a few seconds before swallowing it whole.

Rubius let out a sigh of satisfaction as he felt the borrower enter his second stomach. He took a regeneration potion and once he was sure it had taken effect, he took a healing potion. He wasn't going to let the little duck die just yet.

Not when he had just started.

taglist: @local-squishmallow @brick-a-doodle-do

[joswriting]

Writer Q&A

Finally doing this, thank you for the tag @lexiklecksi!!

I tag: @wheres-all-the-tea-gone and @atmospheric and anyone who wants to do it

What motivates you to write?

An inherent desire to communicate and deal with certain feelings I have (usually bad ones). My big WIP On The End Of Everything is about characters that are very dissatisfied with their lives and with who they are but have no way of changing this, as well as an exaggeration of the apocalyptic feeling we get when we don't have our lives completely together (might that tell you something about me?). Both this story and my short story anthology WIP make political commentary in the stupidest way possible, like any scifi story should.

Every character has a trace of me and every trace of me is examined and judged in all sorts of situations. It's both a form of self-therapy and a way to unload nonsensical ideas and peculiar humour.

A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

I like my poems best of the stuff I've written in the past 3 years, and there's a rather long one with some body horror elements (CW), but here are two verses from that one:

you may climb to the valley but the descent is steep there the partyhouse is filled to the brim here lie the parents, not awake nor asleep tie them together for their bodies are thin down the sea over yonder and into the deep see them drown and wonder, why had they no skin? a fly on the water comes to pose a conundrum if your face were another would you feel any different? then all insects fall dead to beat of a drum the wet blows are approaching and becoming vociferant another face is growing over your own now, how fun the next mouth utters sweetly the cry of an infant

What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

I'm not sure but I used to think descriptions? Especially of rather gorey and disturbing scenes, that's what I used to think. I haven't done that sort of thing in a while though, I hope I get to do it again soon. Well, apart from poems, as you can see.

But I think desciptions in general, they are my way of bringing the humour.

What do you enjoy most about the Writeblr community?

The fact we all stay curious about other people and their work! Plus everyone here is so earnestly in love with writing, it's nice.

A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Those synonym and rhyme websites, translators, but in my case especially wiktionary.org

A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I like the world building in On The End Of Everything's first universe the best, but it's a sort of mystery so I don't want to spoiler it. To give you an idea of the current vibe (after all the worldbuilding that is to be uncovered); it is a universe with no sun, one planet that is able to support human life due to geothermic activity and an ecosystem of bioluminescent critters, and a human population with names like Nestlé (my main girl of this universe, I love her).

What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

If you're stuck just write Anything else. Could be a completely unrelated story idea you have or you can try to write the scene from someone else's perspective or write what someone completely different is doing somewhere else in-universe right now. Just because it won't be part of the finished story doesn't mean its not valuable. And hey, depending on the tone of your writing or how exciting the scene is you could just put it in anyway. For example: i dont really know how to write my current scene so instead i just wrote about a random bioluminescent dog called Stephen Colbert and his take on the scene. My writing is silly.