#apl go

[thetisming]

amatonormativity: a romantic partner should be the most important person in EVERYONE'S life

NOT amatonormativity: MY romantic partner is the most important person in MY life, but i understand this is not the same for other people

allosexnormativity: EVERYONE should have sex and sex is something EVERYONE needs/wants/should want

NOT allosexnormativity: I PERSONALLY enjoy sex and love having sex because it makes ME feel good, but other people dont feel the same and that's okay

platonormativity: having friends is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs/has/should have friends

NOT platonormativity: having friends is important to ME and I PERSONALLY love having friends, but there are people who dont and theres nothing wrong with that

faminormativity (is that the word?): family is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs to have their family

NOT faminormativity: family is important to ME and I PERSONALLY need my family with me, but other people dont feel the same and i understand that

lovenormativity (again, not sure if this is a word): EVERYBODY feels love and there's something wrong wiith you if you dont

NOT lovenormativity: I PERSONALLY feel love and love people, but not everyone does and that's completely okay!

NOT amatonormativity: i dont have friends/have any desire to have friends, i am happy with other relationships/no relationships at all

NOT platonormativity: i dont have any desire to be in a romantic relationships, and i am happy with my platonic relationships

NOT allosexnormativity: i like hooking up with people and having one night stands or friends with benefits

NOT faminormativity: i care about my family deeply and am close with family members

NOT lovenormativity: i feel love for people i care about

it's not normative to personally enjoy something, so long as you respect that other people simply arent like you and aren't going to like the same things as you. taking down normativity is a two way street, allos and aspecs need to do it. support your local aros, aces, apls, afams and other aspecs today! remember to challange all normativities, and to not enforce other normativity by saying how bullshit other normativities are!

nothing is universal. romance is not universal. sex is not universal. friendship is not universal. family is not universal. love is not universal. nothing is universal.

[the-indigo-symphony]

Honestly, I think a lot of people just don't realize how their social interactions, worldviews, etc. are soaked in friendship. Or at least the assumption of friendship. And I think this is in part due to how it's always framed as "just" friendship. Oh yeah it's "just" friendship, we're "just" friends, it's not like having friends is seen as integral to health and morality, it's not like everyone is assumed to have friends that play a large part in their life, it's not like people react poorly if you don't have friends or don't want friends or dare to show even the slightest exhaustion with the way that friendship is treated as a necessary component of being a good person, a healthy person, or even a person at all. Why would a person bother thinking about friendship and questioning the constant assumption of it, anyway? It's not like something that is assumed to be universal and integral to the human experience could ever have any significance.

To that end, I think a lot of people haven't really challenged this notion of "just friends" nearly as much as they think they have. You can't unlearn all your attitudes towards something just by giving it more importance in your mind, or just by acknowledging that some people think of it as being more significant than the average person. You have to actually think about that thing – and when you choose not to, it shows how you still think of it as just friendship.

It's just friendship. It's not that deep. You don't have to think about it too much.

It's not like friendship could ever be that big of a deal, right?

[schadenfreudich]

When and why did people start using aroace when they actually mean aspec? Why take a perfectly inclusive term and make it less inclusive? And then force all non-aro aces and non-ace aros into the label of aroace and just fucking ignore them? Not to mention all other aspecs that aren't romantic or sexual. Because so many people seem to forget that exists. And not all of those are aro and/or ace.

[yellow-computer-mouse]

How does being aplatonic and repulsed work? /genq

Is it just you don't wanna have friends?

no, it's that you physically don't feel platonic attraction. it's aromantic, but with friendship. it's not just that you don't want it, you just don't feel it. same thing with being platonic-repulsed! the suggestion of a platonic relationship or being called a friend disgusts you. you can still have relationships and closeness, but you just don't feel platonic attraction. hope this helps ! /gen :)

[neptune-scythe]

not to heartless a-spec on main but dead ass WHY is everyone so focused on love???

like gang that shit means nothing why are we going insane over it be so fr what is going on

[shenny100]

apl4apl relationship/situationship when???

[toxictoxicities]

Thought to give you guys a small preview on the next animatic I'm working on!

[infiniteorangethethird]

actually ppl are correct I do feel love. I love being loveless

[librarianladyx]

Can you keep a secret? I made these bookmarks for my beloved co-worker, as retirement party gifts (which hasn't happened yet, so shhhhh 😉). These are two quotes I took from his email signatures over the years--the first is from Tennyson's "Ulysses," and the second is from Benito Juárez.

[tiktaalic]

Cant find ur Granny Smith post w all this supwrnatural but I’ll reply anyway. Eat a gala apple u will like it

you've never had a case of the mondays before/?

my list:

pink lady

gala

cosmic crisp

[apl-culture-is]

Apl culture is finally coming to terms with being Apl and feeling guilty for "leading on" people platonicly?? if u can even do that- and that talking to them felt more like a chore then something you were excited to do and the only reason that you miss people is because you crave attention- pay attention to me without the friendship part, pls n thanks <3

.

[growling]

due to being both aromantic and aplatonic i feel pretty "eh" to both concepts of friendships and relationships/couples in media (and in real life too but i'm more. discreet about it) which makes interacting with fandom works and such.. pretty frustrating at times

im more averse to romance in real life than in fiction ill have to admit, like, most ships i don't mind. im still more able to engage in shipping in my free time, but that might be because, like, when i ship characters i don't really... do it in a romantic sense i just mash them together, i like deeper bonds/relations/connections like that, and "ship" is a pretty easy term to apply to it as and kinda accurate, i don't know, hard to explain. but when theyre depicted to do traditionally romantic things together or just put emphasis on looooove and go all dovey-eyes in fanart then i must leave. i had enough i have assessed the situation and im leaving

but. i also don't like friendships in fanworks. which sucks so much because this is what, like, most other people that don't like romance gravitate to too!! and they put.. so much, like, moral stuff into liking it too like, saying that if you dont appreciate platonic relationships enough then that means allonormativity rotted your brain or something. many other aro & non-aplatonic people just go "romantic ships are so overdone so heres more art and works where characters are just allowed to stay friends, maybe even friendships are just superior anyway" and like i am happy for you don't get me wrong go enjoy what you like but.... friendships just always make me go "ewww". and unfortunately i cannot just choose not to see it either, platonic relationships are never tagged or anything except on ao3 or something. a lot of media/content (god i hate that term for fanworks..) by aros for aros just focuses on platonic love & relationships instead and sorry i cannot relate and the growler feels a bit alienated. not many people even know that aplatonic people exist anyway and if they do then they dont have the best opinion of us.

so like, god i hate clarifying this i feel like it goes without saying but whatever i don't want to get accused of hurting peoples feelings by saying this: i am not saying to stop making fanfics of platonic relationships or that if you like friends in fiction then i think ur lame or something. im just saying that this is one part of fandom i just, cannot really like. not just fandom either. friendships are everywhere i swear and there is no way for me to avoid those either, and if i ever voice that it repulses me, i get treated like a freak even by spaces that are supposedly aroace & sex/romance-repulsed friendly and yeah it kinda sucks .

anyway friendships are overrated i don't want friends i want evil advisors, loyal goons and homoerotic rivals and fucked up hero-villain and whumper-whumpee pairs and even more fucked up guys with their fates forever entwined and bonded for life close in the way rats tied at their tails are even as they desperately pull and scratch and bite to get away is that too much to ask

[taxi-boi]

GUYS I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY

APLATONIC LUCIFER

[proxolagist]

it’s honestly painful seeing the annual ‘are aros/aces/apls valid’ argument get kicked up every year. right before pride month too??

[one-blaze-of--glory]

i go into the aplatonic tag to lose my faith in humanity and then the dropout tag to restore it

[thekinglurking]

blink blonk what if I said Ghost Stories by The Narcissistic Cookbook is jodele,,what of i saiddd

(idk if you want to know about them but i’ve told this to limey and the thoughts back in my head raahdhsjjs)

THE NARCISSIST COOKBOOK I LOVE THE NARCISSIST COOKBOOK also hiiiiii

BRT AGGHHHH IT TOTALLY IS

It’s been a while sense I’ve listened to specifically that song but I remember the vibes I think

Jodele…. *cries an uncountable ammount of tears*