#aplatonic interaction

[aplatonicism]

i feel like this might be a bit offensive, and i'm super sorry if it is but

How does friends work as an aplatonic person? like do you not have friends, or do you have friends but don't feel connected (like afamilail but with friends) or is it a spectrum like ace/aro?

I don't think this is offensive, but thank you for being polite!

I would say that aplatonicism is definitely a spectrum the same way that ace/aro is, and that people have a variety of feelings and gradations and ways they interact with others regarding their aplatonic nature.

I'm happy to share my own experience with you here about the connections with people I have that would be assumed to be 'friends'.

Crushes: These are what I have in place of what would socially be considered "good friends". This is a small group of people that I am invested in maintaining an ongoing, close relationship with on a permanent/semi-permanent basis. These are the people I think about when they're not there, the people I remember to check up on and ask how they're doing, the people I'd be happy to help out when they're in a difficult situation, the people whose problems I'll happily listen to.

You are probably thinking "that just sounds like normal friends" but I am not done. They are also the people I have to be very careful with my level of intimacy around, because I am emotionally attracted to them. These are the people who I have to be careful not to cross romantic boundaries with. The people I have to be careful not to impulsively kiss. The people I have to be careful not to impulsively invite to live with my partner.

These are people whom I am attracted to romantically, but have to be careful not to cross boundaries with because it is socially inappropriate. And sometimes I still screw up and accidentally cross those boundaries.

These are the people I feel warm affection for, and would refer to as 'friends' if asked (despite it being somewhat inaccurate.)

Buddies/Pals: These are what I have in place of what would socially be considered "friends" but not close friends. These are people whom I'm familiar with through recreational pursuits or through families ties and other social connections. I enjoy their company when we're in direct contact, but I easily forget to check up on them outside of the context of our social/recreational relationship. I don't have any interest in an intimate relationships (sharing difficult life moments, interacting outside of shared hobbies) and it feels awkward and uncomfortable if they try to deepen the intimacy of our relationship in a way where it's obvious they're trying to rely on me as a close friend. 

I feel a temporary, easily faded affection for these people when we're interacting positively. I prefer to use the terms buddies or pals for this group of people, unless in a situation where it would be considered impolite, or in a situation where "friend" is obviously not being used to imply an actual close relationship.

Acquaintances: People I'm familiar with in my life and am polite to. Coworkers, family I don't see very often, people in social circles I'm connected to that I don't share any common interests with.

I don't feel any affection for these people.

I hope that makes sense! Please feel free to send follow up questions if you like.

[the-meme-monarch]

So, I found the note in the Easter room.

It seems Delilah isn't the one who decides who is a main and who isn't... Which means her hands might be tied in how things happen with the toons. For some reason I can't share it (keep getting errors when I try) so uh... I hope you found it. And would like to hear your thoughts behind it.

three in a row to make the post shorter

INCH RESTING……….. ARTHUR being the one to do something probably bad for a toon’s well-being and delilah being the one to try to convince him otherwise? also DELILAH CARING ABOUT A TOON’S WELL-BEING…… DELILAH’S NOT EVIL TRUTHERS COME GET YOUR FOOD!!!!!!!!!

[queergutz]

❀ A little possum approaches with a gift!

{PT: A little possum approaches with a gift!}

Friendship/Platonic stance flag redesigns!

❀ Friendship Favorable ❀ Friendship Indifferent ❀ Friendship Repulsed

{PT: Friendship favorable, friendship indifferent, friendship repulsed.}

❀ Friendship Averse ❀ Friendship Ambivalent ❀ Friendship Oscillating

{PT: Friendship averse, friendship ambivalent, friendship oscillating.}

Sex Stances - Touch Stances - Friendship Stances - Romance Stances - Orgasm Stances - Affection Stances

Tagging: @radiomogai @starzjay @not-victor-ann @vampiric-gay-chaos @stary-baa @corporatecoinings

[enbyman]

I've seen someone say that aplatonic people should seek psychological help because they've faced difficulties making friends in the past and improved after undergoing treatment. Well, a few points:

1. Your experience is not universal

2. I can't form friendships because I get bored and apathetic very quickly. And I have no desire to make friends. Like, not a little bit. Aplatonicity isn't just "having difficulty in making friends" (although an aplatonic person may have this experience, aplatonic people are diverse)

3. There are people who don't feel platonic attraction but have friendships (just like feeling sexual attraction ≠ liking to have sex, feeling platonic attraction ≠ like making friends)

4. Not every neurodivergent person who cannot form friendships seeks or will be able to "get better"

5. Your experience is not universal

[rjtbot]

Shoutout to stereotypical/controversial/weird a-specs

Shoutout to a-specs who are a-spec due to traumatic incidents

Shoutout to loveless, averse, agamous, and otherwise "forever alone" a-specs

Shoutout to prudish, repressed, and/or virgin asexuals

Shoutout to innocent a-specs who want to be infantilised or not included in "mature" conversations

Shoutout to a-specs who are waiting for the right person, circumstances, or whatever else

Shoutout to a-specs who choose to be a-spec because "people aren't attracted to me" or feelings of insecurity in your appearance

Shoutout to immature a-specs who may not be/feel "mature enough" for a relationship

Shoutout to robot, alien, and other non-human a-specs

Shoutout to asexuals who just "haven't had good sex yet"

Shoutout to asexuals who are asexual due to sexual trauma

Shoutout to aemotionals who are aemotional due to emotional/mental trauma

Shoutout to asensuals who are touch averse autistics

Shoutout to aromantics who are aromantic due to sexual and/or emotional trauma

Shoutout to emotionless a-specs

Shoutout to a-specs who feel like a relationship could "fix"/change their a-spec identity

Shoutout to asexual who do have a medical issue/reason for being asexual

Shoutout to asexuals who have a low libido

Shoutout to late bloomer asexuals

Shoutout to a-specs who believe/feel like their identity is "just a phase"

Shoutout to a-specs who are a-spec due to mental illness(es)

Shoutout to a-specs who don't experience oppression or discrimination (good for you)

Shoutout to evil aemotionals

Shoutout to asexuals who are/feel incapable of sexual interaction

Shoutout to a-specs who are only a-spec because they're shy

Shoutout to a-specs who chose to be a-spec

Shoutout to mentally ill a-specs

Shoutout to asexuals who don't know if they're really asexual due to the lack of sexual interactions

Shoutout to erotophobic asexuals

Shoutout to a-specs who don't feel like their identity makes them apart of the LGBTQ+

Shoutout to asexuals who don't/can't masturbate

Shoutout to a-specs who feel like they're "missing out" due to their lack of attraction

Shoutout to asexuals who are plants

[anti-endo-aspec-space]

know abt stereotype "aspec = emotionless / cold"

know it's harmful. recognize it's harmful. stereotypes are harmful. generalizations are harmful. saying any group shares any trait without exceptions is harmful. because everyone is different and individual.

but like. at the same time. wanna mention that being emotionless is ok. being emotionless is morally neutral. being emotionless doesn't equal being evil.

some aspecs aren't emotionless. they shouldn't be assumed emotionless because aspecs. they shouldn't be fakeclaimed if are emotional. they shouldn't be hated because seen as emotionless.

and some aspecs actually are emotionless. they shouldn't be called bad representation. they shouldn't be hated because are emotionless too. they shouldn't be erased because stereotypes. emotionless aspecs aren't the ones who promote amisia. amisics promote amisia and use ableism towards emotionless people to promote amisia.

emotional aspecs are aspecs. emotional aspecs are valid as fuck. emotional aspecs deserve visibility. emotional aspecs deserve respects.

emotionless aspecs are aspecs. emotionless aspecs are valid as fuck. emotionless aspecs deserve visibility. emotionless aspecs deserve respect.

no actual aspecs are "stereotypes." no actual aspecs are "bad representation." every actual aspec is important. every actual aspec have their place in community and make community better because they're here.

[giotheshota]

☆ Flirt-repulsed flag !🤮!

(Or apothiflirt idk)

(That's so fucking idk, dramatic? And i'm probably alone on this one but at this point idc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafuckyou)

A person who is repulsed by flirt. either receiving or seeing ppl flirting, in a romantic, sexual, platonic or ironic/jokingly way. A person that just hate flirt

just that

Idk if someone already created it first but if someone already created it then consider this an alternative version

[nerice]

i want to say i tried. but there also comes the point where u have to admit you've tried enough. this is abt me being social. i'm so gd tired of it, it does momentary joy for me at best (that never seems worth it in retrospect) but largely is just a neutral void and no matter what it causes this weird noise in my brain that sticks around for weeks. i used to enjoy the hit & run of online engagement at least but the more time passes the more i feel like the way my last irl group ended has drained me of any remaining goodwill for this endeavor

[aplatonicism]

allosexual aplatonic 🤝 allosexual aromantic

"I do not understand why there's supposed to be a special category of person that you're emotionally close to that you're not supposed to have sex with."

[the-meme-monarch]

me just a few months ago "i can't be aplatonic bc i Do have friends and like having friends" about to be hit over the head by friendship test with “IT'S ALSO A SPECTRUM IDIOT”

[pawsitively-c00l]

how do i actually make friends when i feel basically nothing for people at best and extreme annoyance at any attempts of interaction at worst.. do i just have to brute force it?? thats so exhausting but i dont know how else to be less lonely..

[brokenmachinemusings]

aroace-specs, what’s your favorite game? i have a few of them

i’m an alter connected to the lesbian label and in some way aro-spec & asexual. i like splatoon, as well as some platformers such as hollow knight, ori or rain world (for some reason i remember playing rw more than we actually have). but i’ll play pretty much anything, if i have the energy to.

another alter who is aro-gay (or something of the like) is fronting with me and he says he doesn’t like games as much, preferring tv shows.

pretty much anyone is free to interact here.

[anti-endo-aspec-space]

tw amisia and ableism discussion

[pt: tw amisia and ableism discussion]

interesting how a lot of amisia is based on ableism / tied to ableism.

know discriminations intersect. know lots of discriminations intersect with ableism specifically. but still. it's very noticeable when talk abt amisia.

stereotypes how aspecs are emotionless and cold so are bad people / monsters / abusers. ableism. may be seen in treatment with people with personality disorders, low empathy, flat affect, etc.

stereotypes how aspecs are "just don't understand" things, just "not mature enough", etc. intellectual ableism. ableism towards neurodevelopmental disorders. etc.

stereotypes how aspecs are "just traumatised." say "just trauma" in my face and get hit by younger protector [not literally]. ableism towards trauma and trauma disorders. trauma isn't something that makes you "not completely yourself." (okay it may feel like that but it's not okay to treat someone other with this idea. and trauma recovery often includes accepting that you can't untraumatize and become your "untouched" imaginary version. so have to accept who you are with trauma and be in peace with it). trauma isn't something that you can and have to live in the past easily. some trauma changes people permanently. some trauma forms people. trauma isn't something not important that hides "actual individual" under itself. trauma is experience. forming experience.

stereotypes how "something just wrong with your body." physical ableism (don't know if it's actual term). so what? not every body have to be same. not every body have to work "properly." not every body's "proper" work looks like most bodies' "proper" work. and so on. also idea that physical disabilities is something additional that hides "actual normal real body" under itself. which is. extremely ableist perspective. (don't know how to word it better).

so yeah. not every body has to work similar. not every mind has to work similar. people are allowed to live their life right now and not wait until they "get rid" of "wrong additional things" (disabilities) and become "normal" (abled). this way of looking on disabilities is harmful, wrong, and extremely ableist.

(not mean being aspec is always caused by disabilities. aspecs may be abled and may be disabled. just unpack how stereotypes abt aspecs are connected with ableism and talk abt ableism and disabled people because of it).

[giotheshota]

how ppl see me when i say im aroaceaplafamasen

[nothing-nothing454545]

hm turns out i hate people after all. i keep trying to reward myself for interacting with people by feeding myself cookies and treating myself but it doesnt help me hate the process of interacting with people less. im looking into what ABA theraphy is right now and its scary how similar what ive been doing is.

[one-blaze-of--glory]

don't be sorry for me lol, I don't need platonicism

"Who got you smiling like that?"

My friends. I'm so sorry that you can't gain joy from platonic interactions but I'm gonna go back to texting them now.