#asks for blacklist

[wilsonpussyindulgence]

This is so stupid on my part but I need to tell you how silly I am: firstly this whole user name poll stuff you’ve been doing is greatly entertaining, I’m one of the votes for thismagichour. But like purely because I like the name not because I knew you by it, I think I came into the game when you were already calebwidogasts. Anyway, I was going through my downloaded ao3 fic folder to reorganize them, and it was there I realized that I had downloaded a fic of yours from 2018!! And I had no idea! All this time you had written a fic I enjoy so much! How silly am I for not realizing it sooner! Anyway okay that’s all have a good day orz

oh this is really lovely!!! i am still really proud of those m9 critical role fics, they were some of the very first i've ever posted and they're still the ones with the best reception, lmao

thank you so much for this!!! it really made my whole day!!!

(for the record, i will go back to thismagichour, it really is more convenient to have my ao3 name and my tumblr url be the same)

[mylordshesacactus]

Okay, I didn't want to clog up the notes of someone else's post with something tonally different because that's rude, but. I Need to elaborate some more about no-kill vs open-intake shelters because I feel like some people still don't get it.

I'm gonna use an example here: My cat, Nepenthe, came from a small municipal open-intake shelter (I don't use the term "kill shelter" because I think it's obscene and cedes ground to ARA fuckwits for no reason) in an area with a NOTORIOUSLY awful stray cat problem.

She was on the euthanasia list. She was next in line on the euthanasia list.

They would never have been cruel or manipulative enough to say it that baldly, of course, but...I can read. Status was "at rsk", with two days' grace before ticking over into "extreme risk", the red zone. The ones who have had the most time, the most chance, if the shelter ever runs out of cage space.

I have gone the fuck off on people who hear that and immediately assume I will tolerate them bashing or insulting that shelter.

Because here's the thing about Penny. She is my baby, my darling, light of my life, and if I hadn't come along, euthanizing her would have been not only necessary but an ethical obligation.

She was neurotic, traumatized, and unpredictably aggressive--not "I'm bad at feline body language and ignoring her subtle back-off signals" unpredictable, I mean "we showed footage to a professional feline behaviorist and their immediate reaction was 'oh that is NOT normal'" unpredictable. "Actual legitimate psychological problems" unpredictable. The previous three times she had met with potential adopters, she attacked them unprovoked and had to be recaptured by a vet tech wearing a bite sleeve designed for aggressive dogs. She was the textbook definition of unadoptable.

She could not be fostered. There was absolutely no way she could live in a home with small children, or older children, or an elderly person with thin skin, or anyone who would get upset if they were clawed in the face without warning every few days.

Now, here's some math for you, keyboard warrior writing up a condescending screed about how there's Never Any Excuse for euthanizing a healthy animal:

The average length of stay in that shelter, for a healthy cat, was roughly two weeks. Which means, on average, assuming fast turnover, a single cage space in that shelter can save the lives of 24 cats every year.

Penny, when I met her, had been there for 43 days. A month and a half. Three times the average length of stay.

I love her. She has improved my life immeasurably and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. Her life is not more valuable than the lives of the other 23 cats who might have been saved by the slot she was taking up. Euthanasia, if space had run out, would have been the only ethical option.

(Yes, obviously I DID show up and I DID choose her. But frankly? I was a grad student with a psychology degree, studying to be a therapist, living alone, no plans to have kids, a private room where she wouldn't have to interact with other people or animals, de-facto engaged to a professional animal behaviorist; I was ACTIVELY LOOKING for an edge-case project cat, and could calmly and intelligently articulate my understanding of the seriousness of her behavior and my plan for helping her. You can't count on that happening. I was a fucking unicorn.)

No-kill shelters have the INCREDIBLE luxury of deciding who to save. They have the luxury of having all the time in the world to wait. And in the meantime, what exactly do you think is happening to the other animals? The ones they DON'T pick? The ones there's no room for? Do you think they magically don't need to be surrendered anymore? Does Santa Claus find them a home, perhaps?

You can't reduce the life of an animal to math. Good, ethical no-kill shelters can be wonderful resources--either taking highly-adoptable animals from open-intake shelters to free up space as efficiently as possible, or else taking in behaviorally or medically complicated dogs who need more time to find their perfect match than open-intake shelters can give.

But if you're going to shit on open-intake shelters, you don't get to be a fucking coward about it. So here. Prove how much smarter you are.

You've run out of space. Every cage is full. The cat cannot be fostered. You've filled all your available foster slots with other cats, to buy her time. The "no-kill" shelters are full--they pulled the cats they thought they could save, and the scruffy, psychologically-unsound, adult black domestic shorthair with chronic herpes? Nobody wants her. In this world her unicorn's not coming.

She's had three times as long as every other cat here. You have given her every chance, wrote her a lovely bio, moved other cats to other shelters to keep space open so you didn't have to make this choice; but she mauled someone else today and there's a sweet, cuddly, highly-adoptable tabby with no problem behaviors being checked in right now. If you can't put that new cat somewhere it's going to be euthanized without even being given a chance, even though it is extremely adoptable and would likely find a new home within a week.

You don't have a magic wand. You can't wish a conveniently empty second shelter into existence. Every option has been exhausted.

Look me in the eye, and tell me which one dies.

[lesamis]

If you're up for it could you explain what is making the Germany government stuff so funny? I can find news articles about it (a coalition is dissolving? There's been tension for a while?) but they're all fairly serious. Thx!

ohhh, sure thing! i'll do my best!

i'll say upfront: this is a pretty serious thing to happen. our chancellor fired our minister of finance, Lindner, which definitively breaks up the governing coalition. germany will likely have snap elections at a moment in which far-right parties are polling extremely well. if news coverage about it seems like people are Worried, that's because, well, they are.

however. the reason it's funny is because our minister of finance was fired. ministers aren't really... ever fired. like, it's not a done thing. i'll fully admit i didn't even know it was an option until yesterday. and our minister of finance wasn't just anyone, he was one of the most mocked and hated figures in politics to germans who vote anywhere left of center.

the coalition that governed until yesterday was made up of the green party, the social democrats, and the neoliberal party (FDP). the FDP is infamous (and i mean, my parents already raised me to hate them for that) for playing kingmaker in coalition governments: they never get all that many votes, but they get just enough that whoever they agree to form a government with will probably succeed. they then tend to force extreme concessions from their coalition partners, because hey, if we walk off, you can't govern at all! so you better play along!

for the past three years, this behaviour has been extremely frustrating for germans who voted for greens or social democrats, because policy from their faction was constantly being blocked by the FDP and often by Lindner personally. the FDP received 11,5% of votes in 2021, but to many of us, it felt as if they were the only party who really had any say in the governing coalition. it made the green and social democratic coalition partners look spineless and passive.

and now, i invite you to imagine how on the day of the US election results, the day the whole world rolled their eyes at the sheer fucking stupidity and pointlessness of it all, at NINE IN THE EVENING, just as germans are getting ready to settle in to bed to dream of nightmare global politics -

the news suddenly breaks that our notoriously invisible chancellor just decided to fire Lindner for that exact behaviour. this chancellor comes out and says, on camera, to the entire sleepy nation, that acting the way Lindner did - blocking necessary policies, refusing to approve budgets unless his party's interests were met - was childish, selfish, irresponsible, and unfit for government, so, whoops, he had to go. shame. coalition over, i guess.

so, politically, that was a long-needed but never-expected moment of triumph for those of us who think the FDP is a clown show made up of human TESLA shares, and it came at a hysterically funny moment.

on a personal level, i can barely explain how uniquely hateable Lindner has always been. he's what would happen if a stock index graph came to life. he hates poor people with a relish; he mocks welfare recipients and would ax minimum wages in a second. he's everyone's business major roommate who shows up in boat shoes fresh off a yacht to discuss NFTs with you. throughout the entire time that he's used his rich boy policy blackmail strategy, he's been smug about it, and he was never taken to task for it, and millions of germans have been longing to throw rotten fruit in his face since 2017. and now we finally get to do it. via memes. on the day of trump's election win.

so that's why it's funny.

[pvtpunsart]

Pleasepleapslepalsellalelleapelelpalspelalsepleappeles cowboy fut donnie 🙏

yee --and dare i say-- haw, baby

[sublimati0ns]

Lately, mentally I'm just: *clings to Knock Out like a beloved stuffed animal for comfort*

I am right there with you, except instead of having Knock Out as a cute soft plushie in my mind, it feels like this:

(…AND YES, I AM COMFORTED BY IT…)

[reasonsforhope]

The bison.

I know this seems like old news to a lot of people but Americans slaughtered the bison to further the genocide of the indigenous peoples (who are still here) and despite that the bison have been reintroduced.

they have returned to their native grazing grounds, the ecosystems where they have returned are flourishing for it. and to top it all off it was the peoples this government tried so desperately to erradiacte that brought them back.

the day I heard Bison had been reintroduced to the plains I sobbed like a baby and began to choose hope.

!!!! The recovery of the bison is something I've been following and it's been such a source of hope and and sign healing for me!!

Especially tribally managed reintroductions and herds!!

Really impossible to understate how much of an ecological and and humanitarian and ethical tragedy and atrocity is finally beginning to be healed

[cookies-after-dark]

You do macrophilia?!?! i would LOVEEE to see stuff with giant shmilk x reader since he’s pretty big in most official art of him! like the teaser trailer for his release was so fucking hot ngl. would love to get crushed by him LOL

This is so incredibly real. When I first saw him pop out of that tree two years ago I had to pray for forgiveness in advance.

Like, there's so much you can do with giant Shadow Milk and his lil' lover. Even from a non-depraved standpoint, having someone that's as big as a skyscraper lay on their belly to stare at you like a high school girl with a crush is a dream come true. I swooned openly when Shadow Milk Cookie said "[I said hello to] some teeny tiny cookies..."

And then, there's the completely depraved side of me that imagines Shadow Milk Cookie pulling out his hard cock in his giant form. He has no shame at all stroking himself in full view of everyone in like, a five mile radius with you being at the forefront of this gigantic show.

I could get so much freakier with this but this blog has only been alive for like two weeks. I have to let it marinate a bit

[wild-magic-oops]

Gale telling Durge that he's sure that Durge would have people to invite to their wedding is ofc Larian half-assing things, but it's funny to hc that Gale just had an oopsie social interaction where one says smth kinda weird/incorrect and then later realizes that it was weird/incorrect but it's too late to correct now. However, Durge takes that as a "you should invite someone to our wedding" kind of expectation and tries to comply. Family members are absolutely out of the question even if they weren't dead or a god he hates. And outside of Bhaal's temple, Durge is pretty sure he had only one friend. But he was apparently a very good friend. And Durge has Gale's resurrection scroll that never got used. Death's not a problem yeah. Perfect solution yeah.

And this is how Gortash gets tossed from Bane's torture session into Durge's accidental torture session where he gets invited to the wedding of his ex that he's still very much into

[making-you-in-spore]

whats the most fucked up creature you've made

was going to say kraft single is pretty up there, but i think that's accentuated by the fact that half of kraft single is just missing now. i don't know what happened to him. he used to have legs.

there's also potentially meat. meat is eternal.

[toxintouch]

Started out as an elaborate “draw me like one of your French girls” joke and spiraled outta control from there... @lu-dao-writes posted the same scenario in their Kinktober 2024 and they were kind enough to give me their blessing to post my take! Please check out their fics as well!  If this scenario in particular interests you, I rec you this post! :3

Further details below the cut so that the above the cut stays safe for anyone who is just scrolling through!

18+ Content MDNI || VERE x AIS x Reader

PROMPT/KINK(S): Dom!Vere, Dacryphilia (Tears)* + Cockwarming + Size Difference + Consensual Voyeurism. Power Play. (Some feral monsterfucking spice sprinkled v lightly on top.) [*original challenge prompt, randomizer used.]

OTHER INFO: “You” pronouns used for MC/Reader. Unspecified genitalia for both POV Character and Vere but Ais has a dick. Reader is the receiving partner in penetrative sex.

“Hmm, hold that pose,” Vere purrs.

Ais huffs a hot breath into your face as he freezes above you.  His brows furrow, mouth twisting into a determined grimace as he grits his teeth.  His forearms tense hard where they are resting on either side of you, fingers flexing against the silken sheets.

You can feel him pulsing inside of you.  A hot, insistent ache.

You try to relax, try to breathe through it but the lack of movement makes you hyper aware of every inch, the raw feeling of him stretching you open, the way your body twitches so sickly-sweet with the effort.  You inhale a slow, shaking breath, chest trembling, and shut your eyes in an attempt to block out some of the sensations—the clawing need gnawing at your core.

“Eyes open, darling,” Vere corrects you, tone somewhere firmly between scolding and teasing.  “And turn your face back towards Ais.  I’m trying to capture the moment .”  Your heart is pounding in your ears but you can hear Vere’s smooth, sly voice with perfect clarity.  Ais is an overwhelming force but Vere is a magnetic presence; no matter how caught up in each other you and Ais can get, Vere will always command attention without effort.

You turn your chin as requested, only to be caught in Ais’ gaze

(Caught and breathless–the same way you were when he was bullying his thick length into your hole, thrusting sharply and sighing in satisfaction, his fingers still at work massaging and pressing and stroking as he sunk into you inch by inch; he'd prepared you until your entrance was puffy and swollen, sopping with thick, medicinal smelling lube and he still had to take his time.  Fucking you slowly until you could take all of him.  And then, the moment you finally could...)

“Hmm, that's better.  Stay just like that.  Let me see those pretty expressions.”  You hear Vere adjusting his heavy vellum paper.  The glide of quick, clever lines being drawn.

You maintain eye contact with Ais, drunk off his breath, his body, the very essence of him, hovering so close above you, and are utterly unprepared to meet his intensity.  The way he looks at you like he’s seconds from devouring you, barely held in check by the challenge that Vere has laid before him.  Before both of you.

You bite into your lower lip as you shift involuntarily, oversensitive nerves still riding the throbbing of Ais’ dick.  He’s so fucking thick and girthy that he presses at the soft spot inside you without even trying. The angry pulse of him is a gratifying thrum, stoking your aching heat by way of mere burgeoning contact.

His cock gives another strong twitch and your insides clench around him.  He feels so fucking good–you almost think you might be able to come like this, if you can get your body to keep on clenching like that. 

—Almost.

Your next breath comes out as a sob.  There’s a high pitched whine building at the base of your throat and your lashes are wet when you blink.

A monstrous snarl escapes Ais’ lips, one that you can feel even more than you can hear, the vibration of it echoing through your body everywhere you're pressed against him.  The pinnacle between your thighs pulses with it, and your toes curl involuntarily as an errant tear runs down your cheek.  Ais is shaking, sweat dampening his face, his pupils expanding and contracting rapidly, his eyes locked on you as he barely holds himself back.  “Sparrow,” he says, gravel in his tone. 

You say his name in return, your head tipping involuntarily, bearing the softness of your throat, faded marks from both your lovers decorating your skin.  You hear the sheets rip below you, torn into shreds where Ais’ nails have dug into them.

Vere sighs pointedly.  You hear him stop his work, tap his charcoal against the paper as if he’s not entirely satisfied with the scene in front of him.  He pauses for a long time, leaving you both in limbo.

When he moves, it’s to stand.  To saunter over to you both.  You’re pinned beneath Ais, unable to look away, but you can feel Vere’s shadow fall over you just before his hand touches your face, forcing your eyes to his as he catches a crystalline tear with his index finger.

“Shame,” he says, dipping his fingers into his mouth, his tongue lapping up the taste of your tears, lavishing the digits with his tongue.  You whine out a desperate, quiet note just from watching his tongue at work and he basks knowingly in the attention.  “I really thought I could get you both crying.”  He smiles dangerously once his fingers have left his mouth. 

He uses them to drag a wet path down Ais' spine.  “Oh, but the night is still young.  Perhaps I may still think of something that will do the trick...”

18+ Master List | SFW Master List ✦"Kinktober Speedrun & Other Gratuitous (TOUCHSTARVED) Smut" on Ao3

[wilsonpussyindulgence]

Oh! It's me again, the silly anon! I'm so happy my moment of silliness made your day omgosh but like that fic was kinda my intro to hanahaki disease and is probably the reason I love the trope so much now!! So once more thank you for writing it and just know that I've downloaded and reread it all the time! Have a wonderful day :D

i love to hear that, i also love hanahaki and it's a deeply unpopular trope, lmaoooo

genuinely, again, thank you so much for telling me, that's so goddamn nice to hear

[mintedwitcher]

Maybe I should come off anon to have an actual conversation because I think what you said the whole them not committing to the effects of the Kim arc makes a lot of sense. Character assassination may have been a strong term for me to use but I think I meant it more in the terms of the fact that they kinda threw Kim there and did nothing with Eddie's character about it. Like okay yes, Chris goes away but that's it. And while that is the worst thing that can happen to a parent beyond their child actually dying, the show let's it fall flat. We get a bit of kinda depressed Eddie and the whole find joy priest thing, but for a plot point that could have been so interesting they fumbled it to the point of why even have it? Again I love the concept of the character Eddie Diaz. I have all these things I wish they did but they won't. Like the whole PTSD thing, that's a life long struggle and it's brought up once. They introduced the man by having him remove a grenade from a person outside of a war zone?!! HE WAS SHOT! AND THEY DID NOTHING!!! Sure we can write away he was expecting the grenade to go off he was prepared for it, even the helicopter when they introduced Taylor Kelly (who i also love, kinda wish they kept her around because Buck needs a friend who will tell him when his support system is being shitty and it's okay to be angry with the people he cares about and I feel like her and Tommy would have great bitch out sessions), dont even get me started on the whole fight ring thing. There was zero build up to that besides him punching one guy who definitely deserved it.

And I've lost the plot again. What you said about how they could have handled the Kim situation would have made great TV. And from a writers perspective I can understand why she was a good plot device but from a viewers it fell so flat and was disappointed.

Let me add another random topic. I feel like I would be so much more behind Buck and Tommy if they gave us even one scene with Tommy apologizing to Hen and Chim. As an audience we can assume since they reached out to him for help they must have made up at some point, and I understand the whole internalized homophobia and trying to fit in at the good old boys club had a heavy hand in what Tommy was like in the Hen and Chimney Begins episodes, but I just want one apology about how even if we dont see him activity participating in the whole old 118 being shitty to new people especially POCs, queer, and women how he acted was wrong, he'd probably actually move up to one of my favorite characters. Because god to I love how Lou plays that man, he sometimes does these small gestures or expressions that just scream he's a bitchy gay and it's so fun and at odds of what we usually see of gay men on TV because the man is built and very masculine and usually we only get twinks being the fun bitchy gays not the guy who is ex military and flies helicopters into hurricanes and plays pick up basketball with his buddies.

Sorry it seems your ask box has become my sounding board for my wayward 911 thought.

don't be sorry, I enjoy discussing this show. that being said, I'm gonna be as nice in my disagreements as possible right now.

This is going to get very long, and the first part of this is going to be entirely character meta/analysis, I'm ignoring every outside influence (writers/directors/etc) for the Eddie portion. The more technical side of things will come back into play when I get into your comments about Tommy. I'm going to try and touch on all of the things you mentioned in your ask, so buckle in. I'm gonna put this under a cut because it is obscenely long.

Eddie's PTSD is an undercurrent leading almost all of his character decisions.

He didn't have a visceral reaction to the grenade in the moment, because he was under pressure. He had to stay calm in that moment, triggers be damned. He had no other option. If he had panicked, if he had reacted negatively in any way, it would've made the entire situation - in which he had not one but two people relying on his expertise - so much worse. We don't know how he reacted after the fact, when he was alone, because we don't see it. It's also very possible that grenades simply don't trigger him.

The helicopter, as well. It's very possible that it's not a trigger for him, OR that he's already compartmentalised that particular trauma. It could be context dependent - Taylor Kelly's helicopter went down, yes, however, Eddie wasn't involved in the crash, only the rescue, so he might have been able to separate that from his personal trauma. Same as the grenade; he had civilians (non-military) relying on him to remain calm, to use his expertise effectively. Compartmentalisation is an incredibly important skill, and Eddie seems - at least at first - to have a very good grasp of it.

However, there are only so many traumas a person can take before the cracks begin to show.

There was, actually, a lot of lead-up to Eddie joining that fight club. Shannon, and all the baggage she represented. The insecurity of his relationship with her, the resentment he still held for her leaving, the hope of reconciliation, the pain of having that hope crushed three-fold: first, she wasn't pregnant, second, she wanted a divorce, third, she died in front of him. That is a LOT to handle in a VERY short amount of time. In canon, all of those events take place in under 24 hours. It's hit after hit after hit. This is where his decline starts.

Then, his best friend is crushed by a ladder truck, and Eddie has to watch from the sidelines, unable to help. That would have been a triggering event for him, too, calling back to his last ride with the Army. Buck was pinned, in the "line of fire" as it were, and Eddie was unable to help. There was nothing he could do until the bomber was contained and the threat eliminated. Again, we don't know how he reacted to it once he was alone, because we didn't get to see that, but we can imagine how traumatic that must have been.

Then, the tsunami. Even though he was unaware of Chris and Buck's involvement for most of the day, he still had to spend hours performing search and rescue. He likely came across dozens of corpses over the course of that day, which - no matter how well-adjusted you are - would leave an emotional bruise. And then, of course, at the end of that exhausting, emotionally draining day, Eddie finds Buck. And he finds out that both Buck and Chris were on the pier when the tsunami hit. And he realises that Chris isn't with Buck now. There is a moment there, where Eddie truly believes that his son is dead. Words cannot express clearly enough just how much agony Eddie would have experienced in that moment, especially so soon after Shannon's death. And then the emotional whiplash of having Chris turn up, alive... honestly it's a miracle that Eddie didn't fully break down right then and there.

But you see, all of this trauma compounded on top of each other. Shannon, Buck, Chris, every single hit that Eddie has taken since joining the 118, all of it has built on top of each other, and he's never taken the necessary steps to counter it. He knows he has PTSD, but he doesn't go to therapy for it. So all of this has been building up on him for over a year, without an outlet or healthy coping mechanisms in place to help carry that burden.

That was the build up. The guy in the parking lot was just the first piece of the dam breaking free.

Then Lena introduced him to her hobby: street fighting. She used it to blow off steam, to have fun. She had no way of knowing just how close to breaking Eddie really was, so she wasn't expecting him to latch onto it the way he did. But Eddie took what could have been a healthy hobby - if paired with extensive therapy - and turned it into a necessity. More cracks in the dam, to continue the metaphor; more leaks springing free, with no way to plug it back up. Then the money came into play, and Eddie got hooked. He could fight, and get paid well for it? He could use this to provide for his son? Sold. Another crack.

Until he nearly killed a man during a match, and he had to step back and realise, finally, that the dam was breaking and he was in the tidal path.

But even then, he had to be mandated by his employer to seek help. Because Eddie had been raised with the mentality that men did not need therapy, that therapy was 'admitting weakness' - he was raised steeped in toxic masculinity, and that has shaped every single decision he has made regarding his own life. His stint in therapy is short-lived - only so long as the mandated sessions continue - and then he leaves and never looks back. The dam is patched, he claims, even if it's just with duct tape and chewing gum.

Eddie doesn't effectively deal with his trauma, and so it continues to build up. He's just gotten better at ignoring it, shoving it aside, focusing on the better parts of his life - in this case, his son, his job, his best friend, and his new girlfriend, Ana.

Then the pandemic happens. Even more trauma to add to the list. He has an immunocompromised son, so he can't even be inside his own house for a good few months; he stays with Buck instead, until it's safe for him to return home. His son is struggling with the isolation of the pandemic, not being able or allowed to see his friends, or his caregivers, or his own family, because of the risk factor. Eddie, losing himself in the 'better' parts of life, decides to be spontaneous and Bold, and tries to introduce another person into Chris's life without taking his son's own trauma and insecurities into account.

He's operating on the stance that, well, any day could be his last. He could lose Chris in a freak accident, or he could die on the job, or he could screw up so badly that his parents come and take Chris from him. So he throws caution - and good sense - to the wind. This is common for people like Eddie. He's survived terrible traumas, he's finally happy, and so that happiness must be shared, because it could all disappear in the blink of an eye if he doesn't grab it with both hands.

And he very nearly does lose it all when the well collapses on him.

Eddie is happier, but he's no less traumatised. He still hasn't addressed his past, his grief, his fears, and those are all still building in the background. But he's determined not to care about them.

Which is why the shooting is so jarring.

He was helping, he was doing his job, he was saving someone, and he got shot on home soil. This is another major triggering event, far more similar to his last ride with the Army than anything else he's faced so far. Those "patched" cracks start leaking again.

Again, much of the recovery is glossed over, but that doesn't mean that the trauma isn't still affecting him. As mentioned above, he's gotten very good at ignoring his own trauma.

This is compounded, again, when he and Buck are taken hostage. And again, when he finally talks to Chris. His own son saying that he doesn't want him to die is another crack. Eddie quitting his job is another crack. Eddie losing his sense of self in Dispatch is another crack.

Eddie learning the fates of his former Army teammates is the TNT that brings the dam down completely.

Eddie has been carrying years of guilt and grief and pain and trauma, compounded endlessly and ever-growing behind his nice little wall of denial, but now he has no choice but to face it. Drown in it.

He breaks, properly, for the first time. His PTSD is unmanaged and unmanageable, his trauma is far heavier than he expected it to be, and he's been so busy pretending that he's fine, that he hasn't noticed the detonator in his hands the entire time.

He finally, finally, realises that he needs to seek help on his own terms. He can't be mandated into it, he can't be dragged, he has to take that step on his own, and it's one of the hardest things he's ever had to do, but he does it anyway. Because he knows he can't keep carrying all of that weight forever alone. He needs help, so he finally goes to seek it out.

All of this is an extremely long winded way of saying: the show does, has done, and continues to carry Eddie's PTSD, even if it's not explicitly mentioned on screen all of the time. It doesn't need to be. It's an omnipresent shadow looming over him at all times. Sometimes it's lighter, sometimes it isn't, but it's always there.

Which actually, helpfully, leads me to my next point: Tommy.

An on-screen apology is entirely unnecessary. It's been made clear already through character interactions (as far back as season two) that Tommy has mended his fences with both Hen and Chimney. If you want to see something like that depicted on screen, you'll have to rely on fanfic, because this is not that kind of show. We don't need to be shown every time a relationship is changed or repaired. We're also never shown Chimney apologising to Buck for punching him, does that mean that their relationship wasn't repaired? No, obviously not, they're in a good place now, and it's clear that what happened between them is water under the bridge. The exact same can be said here.

Tommy also wasn't nearly as bad as the fandom makes him seem. He makes two offhanded, poorly thought-out comments in both Hen Begins and Chimney Begins, but by the time Bobby Begins Again happens, he's already on friendly terms with them both. They go out drinking together, they make bets together, Hen and Chim organised a going-away party for him when he transferred stations. It's very clearly presented to us that Tommy has changed his behaviour in the time between Hen Begins and Bobby Begins Again. So why do we need to see him apologise? Through context clues and on-screen interactions, we can see that they're on good terms. Is that not enough? Would Hen or Chimney willingly remain friendly with someone who still exhibits bigoted behaviours? Should we not at the very least, trust these two incredibly intuitive characters to be able to make a judgement call regarding Tommy?

I'm not saying any of this to be rude to you, nonnie, but I do want you to consider carefully why you think it matters more to see Tommy apologise - and what level of apology you would "accept" - rather than to believe what the characters have shown us, which is that Tommy changed, made amends, and is on good terms with almost all of the original 118. Hen likes him, Chimney likes him (enough to keep his number even a decade after Tommy left the 118, by the way), Bobby likes him. Eddie and Tommy click almost immediately when they met. So, with all of that to be considered - and knowing Tommy's own recounting of that time, where he openly admits that he was a worse person under Gerrard as the 118's captain - what do you genuinely expect an on-screen apology to provide?

If you do want to come off anon, I do have my DMs open. If you'd rather continue like this, that's fine by me as well. I only ask that you consider everything I've said here. I'm sorry this got SO long, but Eddie's trauma is a very long topic, and I only covered seasons 2-5.

(This response has taken me an hour to write, so please, please, consider it carefully. I've been as neutral as possible despite my opinions on Eddie and Tommy, respectively, and there's a lot to cover in all of that. Sorry this got so absurdly long, but I'm looking forward to continuing this conversation, in any format you choose.)

[c-sand]

I cannot believe youre a fellow poljon believer

Oh, my friend, I absolutely am. Like, I don't know what's going on in those books George won't release -- maybe nothing related to pol!jon will ever touch that world. But? In the world of the show?? There is not a single thing on this planet that anyone could say to convince me that Jon actually had any authentic feelings for that woman. I know that's the official narrative -- heard. But... I'm sorry, but I've never seen a man look more miserable around the supposed love of his life.

Every single acting choice Kit made, from the second the characters meet, says, "I am not down with this woman." And his interviews suggested the exact same conclusion. His interviews legitimately make no sense, if pol!Jon wasn't something he was operating with. Because, if he actually loves that woman (despite hating everything she stands for and looking like he wants to die, every single time they speak, INCLUDING when he's actively having sex with her) and is legitimately on her side and wanting to support her, than he isn't making any moves, being more political, or manipulating anyone 'in a kind way.' He's just a dumb man who gets completely blinded by a beautiful woman... Which is kind of lame, considering who Jon is and who we know him to be.

They filmed literal scenes where his people mock and spit at her feet and he LAUGHS. He doesn't care. He only cares that she sees him suppressing a laugh. And then stared her down the second she makes a thinly veiled threat against Sansa. Show!Jon is cooking up plans, whether the show wants to admit it or not.

[clarissasbakery]

how are you feeling after an.. elimination in tpot 16

i mean i knew it was coming there was a 50/50 chance of it being tree or pin 🤷‍♀️ obviously im bummed but. whatever we lock in we move <3 im truly sorry to all my fellow pin fans!

[flashhwing]

"People are woobifying Essek" The man canonically knits, cooks, gardens, owns several cats, whimpers at frost giants, and huffs his partner's scarf. The man woobifies HIMSELF.

LIKE IM SAYIN!

[blueskittlesart]

Since we're doing real UTDR hours here, in Chapter 3: is the secret boss the one you fight in the S Rank room backstage or is it the Roaring Knight? I'm trying not to spoil anything and I know looking things up on reddit or wikis is like trying to tap dance in a minefield

roaring knight is the one people are referring to as the secret boss as they're the one that drops this chapter's shadow crystal! the S rank room is largely considered a prerequisite to the roaring knight as it gives you an armor piece that is basically the only thing that makes the fight possible to win at all