#aspec text posts

[miitopia-cake]

me looking for ace/aro characters: lets go gambling!

[character's sex repulsion is used for jokes] aw dang it

[character is put in sexual situations despite disliking it] aw dang it

[character's identity is ignored by fandom] aw dang it

[characters creators sexualize them] aw dang it

[aro character gets 'fixed' by true love] aw dang it

[aro/ace character is literally an animal] aw dang it

[creator messes up definition of asexuality] aw dang it

[characters asexuality is never brought up in media] aw dang it

[g1ngerbeer]

its that time of year

[legendoftherisingtide]

did other aroaces ask their friends constantly what crushes and love were? or was that the autism.

[cosmicredcadet]

Oh no, you found a post where someone is saying they think sex/romance is gross! Whatever shall you do?

ignore it. literally ignore it. I'm 100% serious just fucking ignore it. it literally is not a personal attack on you. do not take it as a personal attack. scroll past it, hell block if you really need to, but you do not need to respond. it is not about you buddy - not everything is about you. close your eyes and move on buddy it's that easy. literally it is not systematically oppressing you for someone to say "Ew sex" or "Ew romance". just walk away pal.

[scretladyspider]

so I had a conversation while getting prepped for anesthesia yesterday where I got to educate a lesbian nurse about asexuality and it made my heart very warm

I don’t know why?? but when she asked my sexual orientation (it was in patient info) I just said “asexual” (I guess I was nervous about stuff and my brain just did it) and she was like “it doesn’t list that option so I’ll put other but what is that? If it’s okay that I’m asking”

and I was really nervous but figured I had already taken the leap without looking, so I said “well it’s like… so, you have little or no sexual attraction. Like you just don’t have it. Or some people do rarely, like I’ve had it a few times in my whole life.”

I thought about talking about demisexuality but decided to just stick with the larger umbrella for simplicity.

she considered this and asked, “is it kinda like abstinence, like you don’t want to do it?”

And I explained “well anyone can be abstinent. a lot of people figure out they’re ace because they don’t want to do it. Some people are both ace and abstinent, or celibate. Im kinda neutral about it. Like… I like it but I don’t really seek it out or think about it. But you don’t have to be both.”

And she nodded and said, “oh yeah, I was abstinent for a few years once,” like it clicked for her that she had made a choice and she wasn’t ace, and there was a difference.

And I was like “Yeah! anyone can be celibate or abstinent, but, not everyone who is, is ace.”

And I went on to explain a lot of people figure out they’re ace because they don’t have interest in sex, but that that’s not the case for everyone.

And she said “reminds me my daughter told me all about pansexual, which is more about liking person than other aspects.”

And I said “well, that might be more along the lines of panromantic?”

And she asked what I meant, and I said “well like, some people who are ace might still like people that way, like, romantically, but not always?”

And she nodded and said “yeah, that makes sense.”

So feeling encouraged I explained, “like, some people like to split up romantic and sexual attraction. Like some who are ace might still like people romantically, but not always. And if you don’t have romantic attraction and you’re ace, you’d be aro ace — aromantic asexual.”

And she kinda nodded and said “oh, that’s neat.” and then, when I talked a bit about why it can be nerve wracking yo talk about, she said “I don’t get why people get mad about that stuff. Or people think I’m a lesbian because my best friend is. People just are the way they are.”

And we had a little laugh about how ridiculous homophobia is, and then she had to go, but, that exchange really gave me hope. Just… a random person at least fifteen years my senior who heard a word and immediately was open to learning about it.

I have experienced acephobia from people in medicine and I still have no idea why I just volunteered that I’m ace. I didn’t have to. I just blurted it out before my brain caught up with my mouth. But it turned out okay and now an older lesbian nurse knows asexuality exists. (And aromanticism tho we didn’t get as much time to talk about that.)

I do wish I’d maybe worded some stuff differently or been able to go into more detail, tho the time was limited, but… yeah. Warm heart. There is good in this world Mr Frodo etc etc

to clarify as I got asked about it: she did explicitly state she was a lesbian. This is summarized to the best of my ability from memory.

[roses-are-repulsed]

You can be repulsed by QPRs btw. That's a valid form of repulsion. it doesn't matter if it's "not sexual or romantic tho!!!" because repulsion doesn't start and stop at only romance and sex.

Not every aspec has to like the idea of being in a QPR. being repulsed by QPRs is not an anti-QPR stance. it's just a kind of relationship that people can have a multitude of feelings on like any other.

[beej-machinations]

aroace? no. aggroace. i've had enough.

[thatonegaybrit]

hey it's pride month, are you still using "cishet" to mean not queer? why not say just that, "not queer" "non queer" "those who aren't queer" there is also "conformant" being used

let's not exclude queer people this pride just because they're cishet ‼️

[kernsing]

ORV as a story about fervid devotion through life and death/the desperate lengths taken to save the one(s) you care about more than anything/the paradoxically futile yet worthwhile endeavor to know and understand and love someone—all without ever developing into romance—is just so near and dear to my aromantic heart. Even past the grand gestures, the heroic journeys, the sacrificial acts, this one dream: “I want to buy a really big house and live together with everyone.” How do I encapsulate the amount of yearning inherent to my reading of that sentence. Like it was clawed out from the deepest parts of the soul. How wondrously heavy and real it feels, this hope for a future I can see much more clearly than any vision of dating/partnership/marriage.

I want to buy a really big house and live together with everyone.

Me too, Dokja. Me too.

[aceinthefreakinspace]

Eddie Diaz + demisexual posts by @dateademisexualpersonwho that are totally not directed toward Buck, whaaaaaat

[lgbtqtext]

[cosmicredcadet]

Shout out to the non-partnering people out there who want to spend their lives with a friend and live with them without it being a QPR or partnership of any kind.

[demisexualifyingeddiediaz]

Demi Eddie Diaz Pride Month Posts Day Six

(aka if Eddie had had the opportunity to find out he was demi thanks to rep in media, his life might look a bit different and he'd choose joy a little bit sooner)

[juustozzi]

happy pride yall, all I can offer now is just a chat snippet from a year ago because for some reason this morning my brain refused to think of anything else

[princenoah07]

being a non-dating aro guy who's best friends with a pan polyamorous guy is so funny because we're the legit same. it's just that I'm like I love all my friends, why would I wanna date one of them, and he's like I love all my friends, why wouldn't I wanna date them

[ace-does-stuff]

there comes a point where its like, cool man, just say you dont like aromanticism, dont even gotta worry about prettying it up and trying to defend your choice to erase it or deny it, say it with your chest instead of being all tetchy about it and trying to backpedal when people point it out, just say you dont like it