#bc i keep changing them and need to stick to one

[soildmud]

two lovers <3

he’s like bendy’s personal guard dog <333 (with consent ofc) (bendy pretends to hate it but he actually adores it and finds it cute) (arlo is not very scary that’s why) (what a goof)

okay so i originally wanted to put both art pieces together side by side but i realised that the cup/arlo one looks a bit suggestive??? i think??? i’m not sure and i don’t want to just blast that on anyone’s dash so i’m putting it under a cut, but pls don’t look at it if you’re like… <15 y/o or something HAHA

it’s not meant to be like… super sexual or anything but i realise the facial expression is dubious so i’m just putting it under this cut— AGAIN PLEASE DON’T LOOK IF YOU AREN’T COMFORTABLE WITH SLIGHTLY SUGGESTIVE ARTWORKS OR UNDER THE AGE OF 15!!!

his special guy <3333

i drew this one before the bendy one so arlo looks a bit different and ALSO i decided to make cup’s skin tone darker because he looked too pale for me LOL

anyways i love the idea of arlo being all mean and protective around bendy (with consent) and then acts like a big puppy with cup 🥹🥹🥹

[invye]

Me, gasping awake: "Omg, I haven't thought about Rosinante in days!"

My brain: "No worries fam, here's a huge CoraHawk fake dating fix it AU."

Me: "Thank you :)"

*10 minutes later*

Me: "But you know we can't have Mihawk without Shanks, especially if this is set during their duelling times, and also I think Shanks and Rosinante would get on like a house on fire--"

My brain: "This is gonna be a polyamorous Rosinante/Mihawk/Shanks story before long, who do you think I am??"

[battleshipgarcy]

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

my controversial opinion is that despite any logic, based mainly on vibes/intuition, that piercings are somehow less permanent and less commitment than tattoos

[twinkbasement]

not that its particularly interesting for any1 else, but maybe it *is* time?

[phagodyke]

I feel like my meds keep wearing off earlier and earlier in the day ugh.. having to lie down now im home from work I'm shattered :-(

[lilangeldeath]

Things I have successfully manifested into 3D

you can believe me or not. i really don't care. i'm in my idgaf era bc when you care too much about what others think, your manifestations will fail because you're giving your power away. that's my personal belief. i will put what came in the 3D and then an example of the desire i persisted in parentheses next to it. these are from various time periods, but all have happened within the past 2-2.5 years once i started actually getting the hang of it all.

four of my friends ("i have mature, caring, loving friends that love me for who i am")

three no contact friends that had drifted out of my life, not from animosity but i missed them (same affirmation + "[insert names] are my close friends and we are always talking" + "[insert names] and i have such a deep connection as friends")

exposing people in my life who were bad for me in some way: trying to use me, manipulate me, lie to me, or just were bad people in the sense that they were toxic and bad for my life because even if they were nice to me, the way they lived their lives were toxic immature messes ("all secrets and lies are instantly exposed to me, no one can hide anything from me, i always know. all manipulators and toxic people are instantly exposed to me for what they are")

job interviews ("every company wants to interview me, they fight over me, they all want me to work for them")

escaping my abusive ex ("i have a safe place to live where my ex cannot bother me any more. i am permanently free of my ex for the rest of my life and now it's my time to shine")

keeping my job when i should have been fired multiple times for attendance, about 5 or 6 times, i had a period of time where i kept repeatedly getting seriously ill, people were passing away, other major life changes and impacts etc it was like the biblical plagues fr and at that time, the company i worked for did not care when those types of things happened to others and would give them the boot in ways that were really messed up ("the people at my job genuinely care about me, want me there, and they know i'm not lying about my life circumstances and will let me get away with whatever i need to in order to heal, rest, and come back to work")

a glow up that changed me from medium pretty/medium noticed to having people in my 3D rave about my beauty and personality ("i am so alluring and beautiful. i am so interesting. i am so magnetic and charismatic. people love looking at me and talking to me. people find me so intriguing and mesmerizing. my beauty sticks in peoples minds like a work of art")

here's my thoughts on how i did this and what i learned about manifestation through the hard and good times:

i really had to dig deep into my self concept and get out of a lack mentality. the lack mentality, fear, and anger led me down a path of things getting worse and worse. my old self was very obsessed with spending a lot of time angry about how hard i was trying both in the 3D and 4D yet things were only getting worse. i had convinced myself back then that there was no point in doing anything other than the absolute bare minimum to stay alive, and that oftentimes there wasn't any point to doing that either.

i feel like i went through a trial by fire, tested again and again to see how strong my faith was, being tested by my own self. i had to find a way to understand my 3D and 4D from my own perspective, as the whole "you cause everything in your 3D, you bring everything upon yourself" was the most annoying mentality i kept seeing when trying to learn about manifestation, as i think it's a chronically online and privileged point of view for out-of-touch people who have never experienced things like systemic poverty, sexism, racism, SA, abuse and more. i was tired of seeing egotistical and narcissistic manifestation content creators go on and on about how everyone is them, and how everything revolves around what they think is the right way to do things. the constant solipsism of victim blaming and lack of empathy for others. there is no right way. that is why i always say something is MY personal belief, not the standard or the rules.

yes i'm aware i keep talking shit on here. and i'm doing so because the vast majority of manifestation content had me so in a tizzy with how hypocritical and contradictory it was that it made me go nuts just trying to follow along. i'm not the type of person that can go along with woowoo shit that makes no logical sense. that's just not me. i am deeply spiritual but also deeply scientific. i believe manifestation, creation, whatever you want to call it, has to do with quantum physics and quantum entanglement, but that's for another post.

you really can create anything you want in your 3D as long as you make it be in a way that makes sense to YOU. for example, i personally choose not to manifest money in ways that seem over the top to me. i grew up in poverty and so affirming things like "i'm so rich, i'm a millionaire, i'm one of the wealthiest people in the world" was so annoying to me because i'm an anti-capitalist and i'd rather spend my time manifesting jobs and opportunities than try to convince myself that i'm a millionaire when i think rich people are inherently evil by nature, because through capitalism the only way you can get rich is by exploiting the less fortunate. that's an example of how i see things.

i don't dislike goddard's work, and i do truly find some of his work very useful and enlightening, i just wish so many people would stop trying to treat him like a cult leader or messiah. he didn't invent manifestation or the law of assumption. these things have been present in every single religion since the beginning of time. it's just new age rebranding of ancient cultures across the world. it's taking a bunch of different cultures and cherry picking them and putting them together to make money. it's like saying L Ron Hubbard invented the idea of reincarnation and that Gerald Gardener invented witchcraft. not saying that everyone who likes/follows the teachings of goddard do this, but from what i've seen in my personal life, many do. the power doesn't come from goddard, it comes from you. and you would have figured out that power anyways even if you never read goddard. we have been manifesting/creating since time immemorial and it's how our species evolved in general. that's my personal opinion. like i said, i find some of goddard's work very helpful and strongly resonates with me, but i think too many newbies get caught up in him like a cult leader and don't truly have any faith in themselves.

my issue in my old self was that i had no faith in myself OR in anyone else. i got tired of doing vaunts, scripting, void state, shifting, writing things down 99 times backwards and forwards, all those other things. it just got annoying and felt like i was being a psycho like jack on the shining writing "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy" over and over. it was just turning into madness instead of me facing what my real problems back then were. and i see a lot of that on here and other sites. you have to be able to get over yourself and grow up. i learned that the hard way, and i'm being harsh in some of what i'm saying to hopefully "break the glass" of illusion on anyone who may be struggling with the same things i did. i am no point of authority or leader of any kind, i just want to share how i think and what worked for me.

i am going to be posting some affirmations and tips that have to do with wavering, persistence, 3D vs 4D etc. and I honestly don't like to use a lot of the buzzwords but what I call these things is very private to me and it will be easier for others to read and understand if i just use the buzzwords. thanks xoxoxo

[peaktora]

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ˚◞♡ ⃗ bluelock!boys

𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 ┊ where they let the media believe the rumors about their so-called girlfriend

𝙘𝙤��𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 ┊ ft. rin itoshi, seishiro nagi, and micheal kaiser. not proofread bc im too tired to do so. in rin’s part, you’re not actually dating (yet). beware of the tooth rotting fluff (gosh i need to write some angst).

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚.┊man i got so carried away .. this was supposed to be a couple of quick headcannons for a character analysis. yet, individually these headcannons are all so long that they might as well be a one shot 😭 but enjoy !

𝜗𝜚₊˚ 𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

you didn’t know much about his sport—only knew for certain that rin was good at it. he was passionate about his goals and made sure to reflect that in the games he played. whenever he won a game, it was practically an instinct for you to lavish him in compliments. you’d bathe him in things like “good job!” or tease him by saying, “look at you, all pro.” but for rin, winning wasn’t just about the final score on the scoreboard. it wasn’t simple. to him, a victory meant nothing if it wasn’t clean.

two goals. no errors. as he walked off of the pitch, rin replayed each shot in his head. his jaw was set tight, and his hair was irritably damp from sweat—the wind only helped it stick to his face. by now, the crowd should’ve died down, atleast a tone or two. yet, as he took a look at the crowd, he could still see people holding up their signs high for him to see. they were loud—obnoxious, even. he hated that he could still hear the crowd’s roars.

he didn’t look for you. not right away. not while the cameras were still following his every move, not while the spotlight was hot on his back and the (quite frankly: annoyingly persistent) reporters were shouting loads of questions at him from each of every direction. he wouldn’t risk putting you in that kind of attention—not when you both knew how quickly the media could twist up something as simple as a glance.

but that didn’t mean he didn’t know where you were.

he always knew.

you stood in the same spot after every game—half-hidden behind the media barricade. it was just far enough back to stay out of view, but always close enough for him to find you. hell, he was the one who recommended you this spot. and true to the routine, you were tucked into the sleeves of a hoodie far too big to be yours.

his hoodie.

it was always one of his, but never the same. at some point you made a game out of it.

somewhere down the line of you two’s friendship, it became a tradition that before his games, you’d come over to his apartment. just to hangout of course. yet somewhere in between the time you were together, when he wasn’t looking—you’d sneak into his closet, pick a hoodie of your choosing, and not tell him which one you’d taken. you liked keeping it a surprise. he never knew which hoodie had gone missing until he saw you wearing it the next day.

like now.

you stood just where he expected, pretending as if you hadn’t been waiting for him this whole time. you were wearing one of his favorite hoodies—it was gray, soft—and it’s sleeves swallowed your hands.

he would never tell you, but because of this gesture? but he loves game day. he can’t help but notice you.

and apparently the media noticed you just as much.

he didn’t care if they did. but he didn’t want them asking.

“mr. itoshi! just a quick one—” a reporter cut in, jogging alongside him with a mic already raised—talk about desperate. “two goals again. i mean, you’ve been unstoppable lately! what’s changed?”

rin didn’t slow his pace. “nothing.”

which isn’t necessarily true, but while his performance may be their business, his personal life is not.

you’d think the reporter would back off by now, yet he didn’t budge. he increased his pace. “right, right—but you can’t deny the fact there’s been a shift, no? all your fans are talking about it. you seem… calmer? more collected. more grounded, maybe?”

rin chose not to respond, hoping his silence would be enough to make the reporter give up. thankfully, it worked. the man slowed to a stop in favor of standing still, awkwardly watching as rin continued to walk away.

then it happened.

one of his teammates—loud and face holding a (god awful) smirk, slapped him on the back mid-walk.

“probably because of that girlfriend of his,” the guy pointed and laughed in your direction. “she’s been at every match. guess that makes a difference, huh?”

rin stopped walking.

before he could even say his side of the story, the camera had aimed itself towards you. you who were in his hoodie. you who looked at him for any idea on how to handle this situation. you who still stood in the spot he asked you to all those weeks ago—a spot that was supposed to be secure and safe. fuck, it feels like he failed you.

the reporter instantly lit up. he directed the cameraman towards rin, and they both made a jog to his side. “so, rin… a girlfriend? can you confirm?”

the only thing rin could do was blink. because, he could say no. he could shut it down. easy.

but memories of you flashed in his mind. you sitting on the couch waiting for him after late practices, folding his laundry without being asked, brushing the hair out of his eyes when he got too tired to care. never demanding. never asking for more than he could give.

you were the only person in the world who didn’t take his silence personally.

and now everyone wanted a label. a headline?

at the thought, he looked straight into the camera as he flatly said “no.”

the reporter hesitated to ask. “so… you’re not dating?”

“i mean i’m not commenting,” rin replied. “that’s different.” rin likes to think he never really needed a media team.

because with this answer, he didn’t have to explain. he didn’t have to clarify. and most importantly? he didn’t say no.

the interview wrapped quickly after that. the mic lowered when the reporter realized Rin wouldn’t give more. one by one, the crew dispersed.

and now, finally—finally—rin could openly walk towards you.

as soon as he was close enough, you smirked and said, “you didn’t deny it.”

he leaned against the barricade, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his forehead, “nope.”

“you could’ve just said i wasn’t your girlfriend.”

“i could’ve.”

for a while, silence filled the space before you now softly asked, “then why didn’t you?”

he exhaled through his nose, irritated—not with you, but with himself.

“i don’t like interviews,” he muttered.

“i know.”

“i don’t like assumptions either.”

“i know.”

“but i didn’t deny it,” he said, looking up at you, “because they weren’t wrong.”

you blinked, “huh? you do know we’re not even togeth—“

“i didn’t say anything,” he added, voice quiet now, “because i’ve never had to explain what you are.”

he heard your breath hitch.

“you’re something that i guess i hold…close to me. something that’s mine,” he said, more certain now. “if people assume that, i’m not going to correct them.”

you hummed, “so… you’re one hundred percent okay with them knowing?”

he nodded once. “i’m okay with them assuming.”

you smiled. it didn’t reach your eyes—it was that small, soft one that never failed to break him, and gently nudged his arm.

“y’know, you’re terrible at this.”

he groaned, “i’m trying here.”

“i know,” you giggled, slipping your fingers into his. “and that’s why it counts.”

𝜗𝜚₊˚ 𝐒𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐈 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

nagi yawned and lazily scratched the back of his head. with the help of his sweat, his jersey clung to his back and his legs still burned from the run he didn’t even want to make for that last goal.

he let out a deep breath at the sight of a reporter pointing over to him. the match was barely over, and there was already duo—a cameraman and a reporter—hustling over to him.

within two seconds, he noted that this was a bother. the reporter was talking so fast, he could barely decipher what she was saying. the bright lights of the camera following him made his eyes sting. the game took so much energy out of him, he couldn’t even muster up a sentence if he’d wanted to. safe to say, this interview was not worth his time nor energy.

“nagi, you were just incredible tonight! that assist? it was just—just was insane—i mean no one saw it coming. what were you thinking in that moment.”

he rubbed his eye, muttering, “i wasn’t.”

following his words was a pause. the reporter nervously laughed, and like most—he’s sure that she assumes he was trying to land a joke. he wasn’t.

he spotted you standing on the sidelines, tucked off to the side. you gave him a wave, and he wiggled his fingers back as a response.

you looked so cute. so comfortable. all he wanted to do now was stand next to you and lean his weight against your shoulder. the only thing stopping him was a mic still being pointed at his face.

hm.

“right, well,” the reporter continued, “there’s a lot of talk about your change in attitude this season. you seem more focused motivated. the people are wondering: is there someone on the inside keeping you in check?”

nagi tilted his head. “huh?”

“like a girlfriend,” the girl clarified, a smile among her lips. “rumor has it that there’s someone important in the crowd tonight.“

the camera panned out to the stands and the surrounding area before nagi could say anything. straight to you. your smile wavered into a nervous chuckle, and a slight furrow creased your brows.

nagi followed the camera’s direction, gaze landing on you.

you’re so obvious.

for a second, he didn’t move. but then he shrugged—and he walked off.

the reporter fumbled. “w-wait—”

it was a lost cause. nagi’s mind was made up, he ignored the calls behind him and made his way towards you. reaching you, he lazily settled an arm around your shoulders.

he sighed dramatically, allowing his entire body weight to lean into yours. “you’re warm,” he mumbled.

you looked down at him “… you just walked out of an interview.”

“yeah,” he mumbled. “boring. but they asked about you.”

your heart did that weird little stutter. “they what?”

“kept saying girlfriend this, girlfriend that…” he shrugged. “i dunno…didn’t feel like lying.”

you stared. “you didn’t deny it?”

he turned his head slightly, chin resting against your hair. “why would i?”

“because we haven’t… told anyone?”

his fingers toyed with the hem of the sleeve.“feels like a lot of effort,” he replied. “lying about you. avoiding questions. hiding. ugh.”

you swallowed. “so you just… left?”

“figured it was easier to show ‘em.”

he leaned in, pressing his forehead against your temple.

“plus i wanted to see you,” he muttered.

you lips parted. “nagi…”

his thumb lightly brushed over your hand. “if you don’t want people to know i I won’t say anything,” he continued, voice quieter. “but ‘m not gonna act like you’re not mine when you’re standing right there.”

you locked your fingers with his.

“you’re mine too, right?” he asked.

you nodded.

“good.” he exhaled, eyes closing. “then i don’t get what the big deal is.”

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “you’re so lazy.”

“mm,” he agreed, “but i’d carry you off this field if it meant we didn’t have to talk to anyone else.”

he straightened up just enough to glance back at the crew still filming in the distance. that same lady from earlier was still talking. how much did she have to say? “think they’ll chase us if i just walk off with you?”

you snorted, “they definitely will.”

“how annoying,” he sighed. “let’s go anyway.”

𝜗𝜚₊˚ 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

the crowd outside of the stadium could only be described as loud—obnoxious—and chaotic. but then again, when wasn’t it?

you signed at the sight, and slouched even further in the backseat of kaiser’s private car. you opened your phone to instagram—a mistake you knew not to make—but did it anyways.

instantly, a knot formed in your stomach. there it was again—those damn rumors. your feed was full of it. what caught your attention this time was a recent photo of you two. granted it was blurry, but you two were obviously close. it was taken the day he took you out shopping. he’d insisted on carrying all your bags, leaving your hands free. you were thankful for that—especially when you suddenly heard saw a flash of a camera, allowing you to quickly raise your hands to shield your face.

the headlines were relentless:

“michael kaiser’s mystery girl—exactly who is she?”

“has the emperor found his queen?!”

when kaiser asked you about revealing your relationship to the public, you told him to be careful. to keep things quiet. private. in response, he only grinned at you like he always did when he planned on doing the opposite. and you hoped, you really hoped he would listen.

sighing, you opened up the sports app and began to watch the live post-match feed of what was going on outside.

on screen, the cameras zoomed in on kaiser walking out from the locker room tunnel. surrounding him were his security members. his hair was messy, his jersey was slung over his shoulder, and he had that arrogant smile on his face.

you made a mental note to tell him how he should seriously consider getting that patented.

reporters called out his name left and right—to which, he paid no mind to. it’s only when one says, “you’ve been seen with the same girl three times in the past two weeks—the mall, hotel lobby, even at the training grounds. does she happen to be your girlfriend?” that he gives them a reaction.

still walking, he flashed a slow smirk as he adjusted his sunglasses. “you people really don’t get tired, huh?”

“is it true?” another voice pushed through. “are the dating rumors real?”

kaiser stopped just for a second—it was just long enough for every mic to shove forward.

you leaned closer to your phone. he wouldn’t. he can’t be serious. he wouldn’t, right? he wouldn’t—

his grin widened. “if i had a girlfriend, i’d show her off every chance i got.”

almost as if the entire thing was staged, a chorus of gasps and shouts erupted from the crowd.

“but is that a yes?!”

he shrugged. “i try to not make a habit of denying good taste.”

then, he waved his way through the crowd. so casually too, as if he didn’t just obliterate the entire internet.

seconds later, the door to the car opened and you watched as he slipped in.

“you didn’t deny it,” you say. although it’s more of a question than anything.

he reached up to pull off his shades. “hm, should i have lied?”

“i thought we agreed to keep it…y’know…lowkey?”

kaiser laughed, then leaned in, brushing his nose against yours. “you think i’d let them call you a ‘mystery girl’? that’s boring. pretty girl is better.”

you pushed him away, “kaiser—”

“i would say liebling is even better but that’s reserved for me.” he pulled you closer, one arm slung around your waist with ease.

“kaiser—“

“shhh. i didn’t even say your name. ‘jus gave ‘em enough to sweat.”

you squinted at him. “so what am i, then?”

he smirked, pushing a kiss to your cheek. “the emperor’s girl.”

your phone buzzed like crazy, notifications from every app you owned. kaiser didn’t just not deny it—he made sure the whole world hoped it was true.

[itzpookiepooh]

Idk if you'd be interested in writing this and it's totally ok if you aren't. My request is the guys comforting MC when she calls them drunk one night apologizing for being a "bad gf" because they haven't gone any further than kissing yet? 🥲 It's her first relationship and she's nevr had yk, and feels guilty even tho she shouldn't. Tells them it's not them bc she's def attracted to them, she's just nervous about her first time. Just comfort and fluff, no smut. Idkk, hope you're having a great day <3

Bad Lover

Caleb was use to getting a call when you went out drinking with your friends. It was like a routine so when you called this time it wasn’t any different. Well yes it was because you were crying instead of screaming about how many shots you’ve had.

Caleb immediately perks up wondering why you were crying and whose fault it was. You were a blubbering mess and he could hardly understand what you were saying. He told you to calm down and slow down. You sniffled as you did so.

“I feel like a terrible girlfriend I’m always brushing you off. I feel like you want more but I keep messing it up.” You cry rather harshly. Caleb looks at you through the camera with worried eyes.

He didn’t care about that. He never cared about that he just wanted to be with you! You were his top priority! Your comfort, discomfort, love and care are all his top priorities.

“Pipsqueak, I don’t care about that. It’s not important, being together is important to me. Both of us being ready is what is important to me. Comfort is top priority!” He rambles as you wipe your tears and listen.

“Yeah?” You sniffle as he breathes a laugh. “Yes, now go back to your friends you can’t be on the curb by yourself.” He instructed making you nod.

You exchange “I love you’s” before hanging up. You knew how to get his heart rate going, goodness.

Sylus was on the phone trying to console a weeping you. A calm night turned sour (just kidding he adores talking to you) when you called wanting to talk and it turned into something else. It gave him whiplash at how fast you changed the subject. You wailed about being a bad girlfriend which took him by surprise. You did everything right so where was this coming from?

“Sweetie, where’s this coming from?” He asks crossing his leg over the other waiting for you to answer.

“We’ve only ever kissed! We haven’t done anything else and I know you want to…” You whimper sadly making him look confused.

“Have I ever expressed the need for more?” He questions you. You pause thinking about it. “No…” You answer quietly.

“Then why are you so worried about something so trivial?” He asks waiting as the only thing making noise was you breathing.

That gave you a reality check. You always thought of what was being said around you or online. Every relationship was different so why did you think he would be like them?

Sylus tells you he needs to shower and tells you enjoy the rest of your night. He explained he didn’t want you to worry about something that doesn’t bother him in the slightest. When you were both ready you could talk about but he refused to talk about it if you weren’t in your right mind. That made you feel warm inside.

Xavier dozed off when you called. He could barely find his phone as it buzzed incessantly. He saw it was you and started glowing. He groggily answers before you completely wail in his ear. He was shaken up his messy hair sticking up as he sat up abruptly.

“I’m such a terrible girlfriend! I can’t even move onto the next step because I’m scared!” You wailed loudly making a disheveled Xavier even more confused. What are you talking about?

“I don’t understand. Next step?” He finally responds and when you explain it. He relaxes slightly, his heart still racing uncomfortably in his chest.

“I don’t care about that and I don’t want you to think that I only want you for your body because it isn’t true.” He explains in his tired voice. You try to stop crying but you couldn’t due to high emotions from the alcohol.

“Really?” You ask as he nods tiredly. “Yes.”

After he calms you down you tell him to get some sleep. You told him he’d know when you’re home. After that Xavier thought about what made you randomly think he cared about intimacy like that when he enjoyed being with you like this.

Poor Zayne working overtime but now has to console his crying lover. He doesn’t know why you’re crying because he can’t understand you. Every time you try to tell him you wail louder. He knows people are probably staring at you because of your crying. He knows if you remember this you’ll be embarrassed.

“I just don’t want you to hate me! I know I can give you what you need but—“ Zayne shakes his head taken back. Give him what he needs? What is going on?

“Wait a moment…what I need?” He questioned as you explained going further in your guys relationship.

“My love that’s not a necessity. You can build a relationship just as we are right now.” He explains as he holds a finger up to Greyson who’s trying to hand him more paperwork.

“You don’t hate me?” You whimper as he sighs with a small smile on his face.

“No I don’t. I have the rest of my life to get there with you.” He tells you as you swoon.

“The rest of your life? Zayne—“ You go to swoon over him once more before he stops you.

“We can talk more when you’re more sober. Until then go have fun and we can talk about your feelings tomorrow.” He tells you as you agree and hang up.

Zayne sighs quietly thinking back to you. He wondered what made you group your relationship with everyone else’s but that was a conversation for a more sober you.

Rafayel was taken back. Did you really think all he wanted you for was your privates? He didn’t care about how far into the relationship it was he wasn’t going to beg or force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. He himself wasn’t ready either since you made him so nervous. What if he messed up and made it terrible for you?

“Excuse me? Do you think so low of me all the time?” He asks making you stop crying.

“Of course not…” You tell him, wiping your tears away.

“So why would you ever think I’d toss you away because we haven’t moved past kissing? That’s childish.” He explains his tone clearly offended.

“I’m not dating you to get in your pants. I’m dating you because I like you.” He says putting his phone between his shoulder and ear—crossing his arms.

“I just don’t want you to regret being with me.” You mumble.

“I would never. Couples do that when they’re mutually ready. I would never push you to do something like that.” You nod at his words.

“We can talk more tomorrow. You’re not in the right place mentally or physically to remember what I say right now.” He explains and you agree telling him you love him and you’ll talk tomorrow.

He made note to seek revenge on whoever got into your head.

Another one!

[michellesneptune]

HOW THE MOON SIGNS ACT WHEN THEY LOVE YOU pt. 1

disclaimer: forgive me if the series doesn’t cover all twelve signs, but i don’t think i’ve known enough people to speak about everyone’s way of loving. please be patient🤗

aries moon/1H

ooooh those little devils🔥😈 you can see the mischievous twinkle in their eyes. they’re children of Ares - the god of war! when they speak of their loved ones it feels as though they’re ready to kill for them any minute, only waiting for the right (or any😂) reason.

(just my observation, please don’t come at me) i believe that these natives are prone to being more loyal, less selfish and flaky than aries venus. aries is known to be 'the baby' of the zodiac, valuing independence and self-fulfilment greatly. however, i’ve noticed aries moons to be devoted af!! you will never catch them bad mouthing a friend or a partner.

also, from my experience, both placements like to fight, however aries venus often does it for own enjoyment, the initial chase turns them on. as for aries moons, they’re more steady. they would go to great lengths for friends and partners. you can call them in the middle of the night and ask the craziest favor, they WILL come and help.

(please keep in mind that i mean unevolved aries venuses that still have a lesson or two to learn!)

PS. they love to be treated like the center of your world, please give them attention💕

taurus moon/2H

hmmmm how do i put it… 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍! i will say that i am biased bc my boyfriend is one and the way he’s attentive, always asks about the details of my day, pays attention to my routines and shows love through acts of service🥹 you’ve probably heard the rumours and they’re true. taurus moons make the best cooks ever. and i don’t mean putting together a couple of cheap pancakes, nuh uh. their sharp senses only let them buy the best quality ingredients and cook with great care. bonus points if they prepare a dish that they know is your favourite!

i will say though, they are not the most verbal lovers. but when they’re in, they mean it. when they say they love you, it becomes a fact so obvious that they don’t feel the need to repeat it over and over. they like to settle into a routine, so don’t expect them to be flaky, send mixed signals and stir things up just to feel something/for fun (sag moons cough cough😅😅).

they also seem brutal sometimes. but i believe it’s because they see honesty as the highest form of trust. they want to feel comfortable with you. they value silence, too. they’re the type to show you their appreciation not by telling you how perfect you are but by actually putting in the work to show you your value and show that they’re worthy of being by your side.

lastly, their homes are their sanctuaries, a reflection of their feelings. usually beautiful and they look for someone worthy of letting in, to match their belongings. they get a rep for being possessive and stubborn, nevertheless with the right person they can make a sacrifice and at least try to change their ways😂😂

virgo moon/6H

okay so i know they’re said to be critical, demanding, neurotic etc but hear me out. virgo is a mutable sign, ruled by mercury and in true mutable fashion they DO get wild, fun and unhinged lol. as a virgo moon myself i am well aware of the fact that i often act like i’ve got a stick up my ass. but when i get closer to you i want it all: karaoke nights, fast car rides, spontaneous trips! sometimes i even take those things to the extreme!

they’re also said to have the highest standards. and while i imagine it’s partly true, i believe that this placement is all about accepting the biggest, weirdest quirks of your s/o (as well as 6th house synastry!).

besides, i think that we get more so insecure and self-critical in relationships, analyzing the f outta our partners, wondering whether we’re meeting their demands! we’re about the overall quality of the partnership and just want it to be perfect🥺 we’re also quite anxious and require lots of reassurance.

lastly, everyone knows it: virgo moons are like the final boss of small acts of service lol. vacuuming your flat, folding your clothes. they notice the smallest things that could improve your life and happily do them for you!

capricorn moon/10H

this one is tricky. they remind me a bit of taurus but more rough in a sense that they probably won’t pamper you with luxurious baths and gourmet food but they will do things like pay your rent, get you a job or buy a car😂. i’ve noticed them to be a bit grumpy sometimes, definitely not the softest lovers.

they’re up to giving some tough love. pushing you into a scary path that they know will be rewarding in the end. teaching you that even in the hardest lessons of saturn there is light. they’re not the most cheerful on a daily basis but - surprisingly- they are the ones that keep calm in the face of crises. they’re like okay we can’t do anything about it now let’s appreciate what we do have and focus on what we can change.

it’s because they know all to well how karma is. they had to learn it the hard way which made them so strong and resilient.

what i’ve personally noticed: they will stick by your side no. matter. what. this isn’t always a good thing as sometimes it’s best to walk away but if you’re expecting a cap moon to give up on you, don’t.

i also feel like they’re used to being the oldest sibling, the mom friend etc. please take care of them from time to time!

that is all i have for you! thank you for reading💕 i wish all of you lots and lots of love💋 see ya

~Michelle

[moonstruckme]

hihi mae!! in honor of the season, could i request reader convincing bodygaurd!james to carve pumpkins together. and it’s basically just him on the brink of cardiac arrest bc reader is using the biggest butcher knife possible, like an absolute menace, and he’s 100% convinced she’s gonna saw her fingers off lol. thx for considering ♡

Thank you lovely!!

bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 814 words

James has half a mind to find you a plastic knife and let you make do with that. It might take you a while longer, yeah, but at least he wouldn’t have to feel every muscle in his body tense each time you stab the knife you’ve picked through your pumpkin. 

“I thought you were doing a cat,” he says, watching you push another piece out from what will be your pumpkin’s mouth. 

“I am.” 

“Why does it have fangs?” 

“It just felt like it should.” You shrug. “Sort of spookier that way, right? Maybe it’s a vampire cat.” 

“And here I thought it was going to be cute.” 

You smile at him. “No, Jamie. That’s yours.” 

With all his attention on making sure you don’t slash yourself, James has made pitifully little progress on his own pumpkin. He’s only managed to cut out the nose, but when he’s done it’s going to be a classic, smiling jack-o-lantern, except with hearts for eyes. You’d beamed and called it fitting when James told you his plan. He’s been ruminating over what you could have meant by that ever since. 

For his own project he’s using a small paring knife, mostly because he’d hoped you’d follow his example (what wishful thinking that was) but also because James doesn’t tend to do well with precision and he didn’t see a big knife helping matters. You, however, have selected what may be the largest knife he’s ever seen. He can’t comprehend what a beast that size would even be necessary for in a kitchen, much less for carving a pumpkin. Your unskilled grip on the handle makes the hairs on his arms stand on end. 

“I think we ought to find you a different tool,” he tries again. 

“James, you worry too much.” You roll your eyes, hardly looking as you shove your knife through the flesh of your pumpkin. He flinches. “This one is working fine.” 

“Right, I just feel like—” You do it again. James worries he’s developing an eye twitch. “—like possibly I’m not doing my job by letting you handle a weapon like that.”

“It’s not a weapon, it’s a kitchen knife.” 

Again, not a clue what in the kitchen could require a knife that large. 

“I think its capacity for injury is the same regardless, angel. Let me have it, please? That way I can keep working here and you can keep all of your fingers.” 

“You need to chill out,” you say, unnervingly serene for someone who seems to James on the precipice of life-changing injury. “This knife is the perfect size for how big I want my eyes to be. If I have to saw using another one, they won’t look as clean.” 

“Is that really worth risking your hand for?” 

“Yes. I want the triangles to look nice when I stick them onto the top as its ears.” 

“How are you going to do that?” 

“With toothpicks.” 

Right. A more moderate risk of injury, for sure, but James is now too high-strung to imagine anything other than disastrous outcomes between you and sharp objects. He imagines you skewering one of your lovely fingertips on a toothpick, the surprised look on your face when it happens. His own heart bursting straight out of his chest from overexertion. 

“Maybe I could do that part for you,” James suggests weakly. 

“Shit.” You’re looking into your hollow pumpkin. “The eye won’t come out.” 

“Let me try.” 

“No, I’ve got it.” 

Before he can stop you, you’re sticking your knife inside your pumpkin. It comes spearing out the other side a moment later, the triangle of one eye impaled on its tip. James chokes on a gasp as you stop it within inches of your abdomen. 

“There,” you say satisfiedly. 

James makes a strangled sound. “No,” he says, seizing your wrist and carefully removing the knife from your hand. “No, I can’t do it. We’re swapping.” 

“What?” You look at him with wide, wounded eyes. It’s adorable, compelling even, but James won’t allow himself to budge. “But your knife is so lame.” 

James guffaws. He feels half delirious. This is it, he thinks. His love for you has finally driven him insane. 

“It’s not lame.” 

You pout. “It’s tiny.” 

“Sweetheart.” James sets the knife down to hold your face in both hands. You go still with surprise. “If you stab yourself with your giant knife, I won’t be around to get fired. I’ll die of heartbreak. Do you understand?” 

You roll your eyes at him, but you’re softening. “You really like my hands that much?” 

“I like all of you. In tact. You’re perfect as you are.” 

“Fine, whatever.” You pull your face from his grasp, picking up the smaller knife. “I know you secretly just wanted to be the one with the bigger knife, though.” 

“Yeah, you’ve caught me. Can’t get anything past you.”

[monstersflashlight]

Werewolf boyfriend NSFW Alphabet

A/N: This is inspired by the wonderful @davinawritings, here’s her orc boyfriend alphabet, and I decided to do the werewolf one because I do love a good werewolf… (lil disclaimer: I haven’t run this thru the corrector bc I was in a rush, so sorry if something is incorrect!) Enjoy!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex):

Werewolf boyfriend loves to snuggle against you as his knot goes down, preferably over you until you feel like you are almost going to suffocate. He puts you on your side after a while, his big paws resting over your lower belly so he can feel the tip of his dick pressing there. Doesn’t matter how much you whine, he only chuckles and rubs your clit again and again until you are clenching over his knot with another orgasm. But when his knot finally goes down, he doesn’t clean your right away, pushing his come back inside of you again and again until you are coming again, too tired to move. Only then he takes his huge ass tongue and cleans you up, if he makes you come again… that’s just a perk for him. (Also loves to cuddle after everything, but by then you are fast asleep.)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

His favorite part of you are your hips, the perfect squeeziness for him to grab onto as he pounds you from behind. His favorite part of himself are his teeth, always ready to bite your neck to remind you who you belong to.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):

Werewolf boyfriend comes buckets, and wants to keep every little drop inside your tight cunt if he can. But he also loves to come every part of your body, leaving you dripping as he rubs his come onto your body so you never stop smelling like him. Bonus points if you let him come on your panties and put them back on around the house, knowing you are sticky with his come always makes him extra feral in bed… and you love that.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):

He likes to play fetch, but if you tell anybody he would deny it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?):

He fucked many before you, but no pussy was as tight as yours and no mouth made him want to fuck into their throats as yours do.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):

He loves it doggy style, duh.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.):

Werewolf boyfriend is the silliest monster. He loves being Goofy around you (pun intended bc dog, haha). He cracks jokes every chance he gets, always loving to make you laugh.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):

He’s hairy as fuck… and you love it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect):

He loves gifting you little things he finds in his runs. A rock shaped as a heart? He’s bringing it to you. A cute little flower that matches your dress? He would get it. Trying to bake a cake just because you were craving sweets? He’ll try… and fail.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

He likes jerking off on you. He always thought he wouldn’t be like those possessive wolves that make their mates smell like come 24/7, but now that he’s with you he’s changed his mind. He comes on you every time he can, he obviously prefers to knot you until you are crying, but he also enjoys coming over your pussy and rubbing your clit with his come as lube.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):

Size kink, knotting, predator/prey, marking, watersports… You name it, he probably has it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

He would fuck you anywhere, everywhere. He doesn’t matter if somebody can hear, if somebody can see, if he has a hard dick, he wants to stick it in you, and if he can’t… then you might need to find a secluded place as soon as possible.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):

He loves you so much that every little thing you do is a turn on. You are walking around the house cleaning? He would hug you from behind and rub one off against your ass. You are helping him cook? He would let the food burn because he has you bent over the counter as he eats you out messily.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs):

Seeing you even a little bit sad. If you watch a sad cat video, he would insist on you throwing the phone to the side and cuddling with you until you are warm and smell “correct”, aka happy, again.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

He’s feral when it comes to eating your pussy, enjoying it a lot more than you expected, always wanting to lick you clean after fucking, waking you up with his huge tongue between your legs, pleasuring you in the shower… If he doesn’t eat you out at least a couple times a day, his day is not complete.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):

He likes hard and fast, but when you are getting there, he likes to slow down, drag your orgasm out until you are begging, just to knot you and feel every single squeeze of your tight pussy around his knot.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):

Anywhere, anytime… If he can get his cock or tongue in you, he’s gonna. But he prefers when he has time, so he can knot you good and hard.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.):

They would do and try anything that you suggest trying. He’s a firm believer of trying everything at least once, and most times than not, he ends up liking it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?):

He can go for hours during the full moon, but on a normal day, he sticks to one knot in the morning and one at night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):

He loves to be pegged.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):

He likes to edge you until you are begging and messy, so he can slip his knot inside of you without stretching you out first.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.):

He’s very loud, but he tries to muffle his sounds biting your neck. Doesn’t really work, but his whines and grunts always make you wetter, so it works for him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character):

Werewolf boyfriend acts though around other wolves, but in reality he’s just a big softie who cries watching Disney movies.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes):

He has an average sized cock (for a werewolf), but a knot wider than others, making you stretch around him until it feels almost painful, but always gives you the strongest orgasms. His cock is dark at the base, and pinkish-reddish at the tip, getting shiny as soon as he gets hard, dripping copious amounts of precome.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):

Again: anytime, anywhere.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward):

He enjoys watching you sleep after (like a total creep).

A/N: Hi darlings, would you like for me to do this with some of my OCs? I think it would be really fun? Let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in and who do you want for me to do first?

[starrihan]

hi beautiful!! i be thinking about jo so often it’s concerning

right now it’s him being precious and turning all of your plushies to face the wall before he destroys u bc “he doesn’t want their opinion of him to change” 😣

→ Pairing: Jo x fem! Reader

→ Genre: smut, fluff, spit exchange, Jo being filthy on purpose,

→ Warnings: none!

→ Word Count: 1,185

→ Notes: Beautiful 🥹🥹🤧🤧HELLO GORGEOUS HOW ARE YOU??oh my god I think my pussy just did a backflip because the thought of this 😩😩 AND THE FACT THAT I HAVE SO MANY PLUSHIES ON MY BED I CAN JUST IMAGINE HIM TURNING THEM AND SAYING THEIR NAMES TOO HOLD ON LET ME COOK

→ Here's a link to all my other masterlists!

༄ ༄ ༄

NO BECAUSE THIS IS SO JO!!!

He’s been to your house before and has even slept over many times. He’s gotten to know your house like it’s his own, and that includes knowing the names of the all stuffies you keep on your bed. He finds your habit of naming them cute, and even refers to them by their names if he has to. He’s even helped you name some of them before, making his bond with your stuffed animals that much stronger. And you find it so cute that he indulges in this hobby with you without shaming you for it or calling you childish for naming and caring so greatly about your ‘children.’

Usually when you guys have sex, it’s at his house because there’s always people at yours, and you’re worried about getting caught. But his roommates are almost never there when you two are, so it always ends up working out. But one day, you’re alone for the day and decide to call Jo over.

He’s there soon after, waiting at your door with ice cream that he bought from the store. As per usual when you guys hang out, things start off tame with little fleeting touches here and there, but they eventually take a turn into something much steamier.

Here you guys are, making out on the couch, you’re sitting on his lap and slowly grinding into him, hands lost in his hair as his hands squeeze at your waist from underneath your shirt. He’s matching your grinding, rocking his hips back and forth against your clothed clit as you moan into his lips.

“Bedroom…”

You moan out, lips still moving against each other’s as he picks you up. You instantly wrap your legs around his waist, hoisting yourself up. He lays you down a little rough, a small ‘sorry’ slipping past his lips as he continues to move his lips down your neck. His hands move up to unbutton the flannel you were wearing (his btw) smiling down at you.

“You’re so beautiful…”

And even though he says that every time, you still can’t help but blush at his words. You’re quick to fiddle with his shirt, slipping it past his head and quickly pulling his pants down right after. He laughs at your eagerness, touched at thought of knowing you need him that badly. He continues kissing you, working his way down your shorts and into your panties, running a finger down your slit and dipping it in for a second before moving to rub your clit. You nibble at his bottom lip, his small laughs making you needier by the second.

Your back is arched, signaling that you need more, and he happily obliges when he sticks two fingers into your hole, slightly hissing when you bite his lips a little harder than you had intended too.

“Sorry mmm… just feels… s-so good!”

And how can he worry about his own pain when your pleasure is much more important to him? He knows you won’t be able to hold out much longer before you’re begging for him. He pulls away from you, looking to the side to see the 5 plushies in the corner of the bed, watching, staring at what he’s doing to you. He takes the chance to turn them over, one by one, making them face the wall instead.

“What are you doing?”

You ask, curiously.

“I wish I could cover their ears too. What would they think of me if they saw what I’m about to do to you next? Especially little Jojo, his poor eyes don’t deserve to be scarred.”

And you find his actions so endearing you almost cum right then and there. He quickly pecks your forehead, flashing you a bright smile before lining himself up with you, slowly thrusting into you. You're already moaning with just the head, clutching his bicep at the intrusion. Your legs spread wider, waiting to wrap around him when he fully bottoms out.

One hand is squeezing your waist, the other going down to circle his thumb on your clit to ease the pain of the stretch that you feel every time. You try your best to keep your moans down, playing into his joke, not wanting your collective children to hear your lewd moans. But it's like he's pushing you on purpose, despite being the one to turn them around, saying he wishes he could cover their ears too.

He fully sheathes himself inside you without warning, a loud scream of his name ripping from your lungs and out into the small bedroom. You can hear him giggle, slowly pushing in and out as his thumb continues to work on your clit.

"F-fuck... Jojo... too... much..."

You pant between each of his thrusts, unable to comprehend the pleasure coursing through your body right now. Moans are spilling out of your lips just as grunts are pouring out of his, each thrust delivering a new wave of pleasure to you both. Your tongue is lolling out of your mouth, drool dripping down the side of your lips. Jo notices, dipping down to lick up the trail of drool down the side of your face before pushing it back into your mouth.

"Good thing they didn't see that..."

You don't have it in you to respond, too far gone by your approaching orgasm. He picks up the pace, unwrapping your legs from his waist and throwing them over his shoulders to hit what little room you had left inside you before he was actually rearranging your guts. Your moan is almost silent with how high pitched it is, reaching thresholds you didn't think you could achieve.

Normally, Jo is really good about pulling out, but today, he was lost in the way you were moaning so loud, forgetting to pull out and keeping himself buried between your legs.

“I’m sorry Y/N! I forgot to pull out…”

You just shook your head ‘no,’ smiling as you panted, trying your best to catch your breath. You pulled him in for a short, sweet kiss.

“ ‘s okay… I’m on the pill anyways…”

He pulls out slowly, quickly grabbing the tissues on your desk to clean you up with before throwing them in your trash can, laying beside you with his hand draped over your waist. You take some time to sit in silence, look over at your little plushies that are still facing the wall.

“Do you get off knowing that you subjected them to hear all that? You’ve never went that hard before!”

You laugh, hand lightly tapping his chest.

“I don’t know what came over me… it felt too dirty to have them watch…”

“…but not dirty enough for them to hear?”

You laugh as his cheeks flush red, embarrassed by how turned on he got at the thought of shielding your stuffed animals from your actions, like they could actually perceive you both. You lay your head in his chest, snuggling into him softly as you hear his heartbeat settle into a steady rhythm.

“It’s okay. I like it when you go rough~”

༄ ༄ ༄

→ Here's a link to all my other masterlists!

[munipe]

Slides into ur dms heyyy,,, so i heard u need saiki angst ideas,,, i used to be into saiki k back in the pandemic, and Ive always had this idea in my head: What if Saiki had a crush on a reader who was doomed to die first in the volcano explosion? Obv, the volcano destroys japan, but reader (thru unforetunate events) is always the first one to die bcs of it. I like to imagine near the explosion date, Aira sees the Mark of Death on Reader and tells Saiki abt it, and Saiki just goes "🙁🙁 i know" WHSHSHAHSH

:3333333

The idea of the reader inevitable death bc she’s slightly immune to his psychic powers always stuck with me. This one is fem, also trying some new stylistic things, btw.

YOU WEREN’T A NUISANCE, like everyone else. If Saiki had to say what kind of person you were, he’d recall the time during your first year of PK academy with him. He’d say that you were his advocate for silence. You’d stick around, and buy him coffee jelly if he was irritated. He would say you were the type of girl who would always offer something if a girl needed a hair tie or some vaseline. He would say you always gave pets to stray cats, and would make impromptu convenience store visits to buy a little can of pate for them.

That’s the kind of girl you were. He never let himself get too close, though.

He knew, on April ninth, what news would arise. He could already see it on Mikoto’s face when she stares at him guiltily for the whole debriefing between her, Saiki, and Toritsuka. Once the purple haired boy had fell asleep, she fidgeted until she felt a pool in her gut—fear.

“Th—That girl you talk to—she has the mark of death.” She spluttered. Between the trio, Toritsuka and Mikoto had a nagging feeling he felt for you more than he let on. He made them work for themselves, but you? Suddenly they had to go get him stuff so he could hand it to you. She was worried for him—rightfully. She stared at him expectantly, waiting for s hint of grief or sorrow. All she saw, was disappointment.

So you didn’t live this time loop too, huh? Did he have to run it again? Did he have to try harder? Yet, as he looked down at Toritsuka, knocked out and slumped over, he realized that it could be you like that. except without breathing and snoring.

“I know.” It was neither his typical irritated answers. Nor was it short or curt. It was soft, accepting and denying as well. It was paradoxical. He could change the course—he’s prevented it with Chiyo for christ’s sake, but you always died, somehow. So why couldn’t you live?

It was radio silence. He’d have to try again tomorrow.

***

WHICH WENT TO SHIT, IMMEDIATELY.

No matter what he did, he couldn’t save you. Toritsuka kept all of you in a crowd, but you died by each unfortunate event. A piece of a building crushing you from the earthquake caused by the suppressed rumbling. An eruption below you. Trampling. Run over by the panic. A falling street light. Debris and mob mentality always got to you before he did. Would he have to send a clone? That was too unsafe. Why couldn’t he just…put you in bubble wrap and keep you safe? Why couldn’t he go back in time and never meet you at all? Would that stop you from attending this trip? Hell, that wouldn’t be good for his mental. How could he stop it?

It was frustrating, for your life to be dangled like candy. How many more times would he have to loop the year? He didn’t know, but he was willing to try until he was sure you’d make it

[kenananamin]

Nanami as a girl dad

Nanami is a girl dad, I will not argue or fight on this but if you think he's not... i got news for you ANYWAYS these are my Nanami headcanons as the best husband and dad and what he would do as a girl dad during pregnancy, birth, and actually raising the baby

takes a personal day off work to take you to your doctor's appointments then takes you to brunch and a movie. will hold your hand the whole time

fought HR/managers/supervisors/ANYONE for as much paternity leave as he could get

asked if he could work from home bc he doesn't want to miss a single moment of your pregnancy or newborn baby

sits on the floor to talk to his baby girl and holds your tummy saying that he's holding her hand

made 20 copies of the sonogram picture and kept them all. there's a copy in his wallet, behind his phone case, in the glove compartment, and in every suit jacket pocket close to his heart. he likes to brag about his girls (you and baby)

comes back from the store with more diapers and wipes bc "we need to be prepared"

bookmarks blog posts talking about how to bond with your baby

reads every book he can and asks the doctor more questions than any other dad who comes into the office

will ask anyone he trusts for advice, but gets defensive when someone tells him to do something differently

takes naps with his head on your lap and his lips touching your belly

has two hospital bags ready in the closet but has an emergency one in the trunk... just in case

does not sleep the whole time you're in labor even when the nurses tell him to "rest before the baby gets here"... that gets him more excited and doesn't let him sleep

tells you to dig your nails into his arm if you need to when you start pushing. kisses your entire face when the baby starts to cry and rushes to the nurse holding her to ask if they could stamp the baby's feet on his shirt/gown before cleaning her (a/n: my dad did this with me and it is the cutest thing ever. we still have the gown with the tiny feet stamped on there)

carefully takes off the shirt/gown and immediately wants to do skin-to-skin contact after you hold the baby first

follows baby to the hospital nursery and takes pictures of sleeping baby to change his wallpaper

changes wallpaper every two days bc "she did something cute" or "sticking her tongue out" or "giving me the stink eye"

loves waking up with her at night bc besides letting you rest... it's daddy-daughter time so don't interrupt

demonstrates what tummy time is while she lays on her baby bouncer (you laugh bc it's ridiculous and she's only a couple weeks old)

buys scrapbook and disposable cameras to start an album (the first of a hundred probably)

buys special clips for crib blankets to be tight and immovable around mattress bc he kept reading about possible suffocation

either way, does not like for her to sleep in her own room so he buys an extra baby moses to put in your room

has an extra diaper bag in his car bc he likes impromptu trips to let mommy rest

sulking when he has to go back to work

finds remote job within the next month

sits baby down on his lap while be works and she plays with her toy

throws an intimate 1st bday party first then a second one the next weekend to invite anyone he's ever talked to and brag about his family

literally kicks his feet and giggles with his daughter then stands up to be the most intimidating man to anyone else

tears of joy when you're pregnant again and sobs when they say it's a girl

carries his girls with him everywhere he goes

is proud that he's raising strong women who will learn how to fight for themselves. keeps reminding himself that he's raising the next generation and that fuels a fire deep inside him

let's the girls play with his hair and put all the clips they can find around the house on his head

lets his fingers and toes be horribly painted while he reads the newspaper and leaves the house with those nails

gets teary eyed on the first day of school and waits outside the school the whole day for a week (paid time off used)

can only do simple pony tails and braids but loves waking the girls up, sitting them on his lap and doing their hair while you get them dressed

making cute lunches for the girls with you is one of his favorite parts of the day

likes dressing the girls alike or the same and has a strange obsession with buying them overalls

loves playing barbie with them and lowkey has a favorite barbie

goes toy shopping behind mommy's back and tells the girls that this is the only secret that they can ever ever keep

randomly brings back flowers for every single one of his girls

takes his girls (you and daughters) on group and individual dates

makes the girls sign a contract written in crayon stating they "will love daddy forever"... frames it and puts it in his office

cries tears of joy AGAIN when you're pregnant with another girl... and looks for a bigger house

rips off door side where he was marking the girl's height and puts it in the new house. he did not believe in marking/tracing it on another thin piece of wood and said he wanted the original

takes everyone out for dessert every Friday and checks in on each kid to see how they're feeling and if they're ok

never misses a single game, recital, rehearsal, practice, ANYTHING

takes his daughters to their first self-defense class

does not believe in violence and does not condone it... but will first ask the girls if they won the fight (strongly insinuates that he will be disappointed if someone kicks their ass)

corrects the girls when needed and has a special look to tell them to stop messing around

later goes to apologize if he ever uses the look

will ask the girls for a sleepover and will throw every blanket on the floor to make one huge bed

tells the girls to follow him as he does repairs around the house or on the car bc they "need to know how it all works and how to deal with it"

is shocked when you're pregnant again (even though he likes to do a certain something that leads to babies) but is REALLY SHOCKED when it's a boy this time

reminds the girls that they have to be nice and helpful with their brother

starts all the reading and bookmarking all over again, but his time on how to raise a gentleman

raises the best little dude and let's the girls show him everything he has shown them so far

okaaaay okay i know i said he's a girl dad and a girl dad only buuuuut Nanami would raise the best little gentleman ever. AND IMAGINE A MINI NANAMI?!! ... but he's still a girl dad first and foremost

extras:

would absolutely praise his wife and randomly thank her for giving him a family

will wear a disguise and follow daughters to first date

refuses to parentify any of his kids and wants to let them be kids

constantly reminds them that they only get to be kids for a short amount of time then they have to be adults for the rest of their lives. so be silly

is always down for a quiet drive if anyone needs to clear their head

dreads the day when he will no longer he able to carry his kids on his shoulders

has already made mental plans for every possible situation the kids may create, even the absolutely crazy ones his brain has imagined

is very open w the girls and talks about safety in intimacy

leaves cute notes during bad or iffy days and writes motivational quotes on their mirrors with dry-erase markers

loves when you say he's a dilf

tries to talk to them about the stock market

passes his budgeting king crown to the kids

feels super cool when his kids brag to their friends about him, even puffs his chest a little bit

[reason-with-the-underdog]

you were not mine to save -> to be loved is to be changed

i keep thinking about how

if you boil down alhaitham & kaveh's akademiya-era fallout fight, it was that alhaitham wanted to change kaveh & kaveh could never agree with his proposed course of action

but now, as full grown adults, alhaitham isnt trying to change kaveh anymore

that core conflict does reoccur, as it did during Parade of Providence when alhaitham lectured kaveh after Act II & kaveh got annoyed

(even though Alhaitham was obviously just worried about kaveh's health/wellbeing...)

this is a common pattern of behavior for them: alhaitham is worried about kaveh & kaveh reacts defensively to it

which speaks to how stubborn & hyper-independent kaveh is

despite being someone who's dedicated to giving back to the community and contributing towards the larger social good, he's quite determined on his own path in life

he'll bear the consequences (ie bankruptcy) all by himself if necessary...! and he's much too stubborn to be talked out of his own decisions

i dont think there was any possible way kaveh could have walked away from the wrecks of the first build of alcazarzaray and still be at peace with himself

and kaveh even admits he was naive (in his teapot dialogue), but he doesnt regret it still even now

so i think its cool alhaitham realised that there's no point in trying to convince kaveh to change who he is

such is kaveh. kaveh will not be someone different, not even for alhaitham. his work & altruism are parts of his core identity

why fight a mountain who will not be moved?

instead, alhaitham goes for more "harm reduction" strategies:

help cover kaveh's bar tabs, which means he's also the one lambad calls to pick up kaveh & see kaveh home safely

snark at kaveh when he's ranting about clients to keep him in a righteous mood instead of getting depressed

there's a quote about how to be loved is to be changed....

and alhaitham certainly has changed so much from that smart-mouthed student who had pinpointed what he thought was the root of kaveh's overbearing altruism and figured he could fix kaveh's problems with that knowledge!

to now as an adult with a lot more life experience: alhaitham knows that kaveh isn't his to save

and the more he tries to force kaveh to changing, the more likely kaveh is to dig his heels in

alhaitham doesnt need to be kaveh's minder or overbearing best friend--

he wants to be kaveh's partner, his equal, which means respecting kaveh's choices for what they are

anyways kaveh's drowner analogy works rly nicely for this core conflict between them (changing people vs supporting them and protecting them from harm)

& i cant believe its canon

i really appreciate this aspect of their relationship too-- it feels very mature & realistic...

how easy it would be if you could just TELL someone how to fix their problems!

its very frustrating to see someone you care about run straight towards problems again & again...

but you can't change someone's mind bc you want it to be that way. they have to decide on their own, on their own volition, and to truly believe in their decision, for the changes to really stick

as much as it sucks that you can't just solve people's problems for them

the human experience is so much richer for all of our different perspectives and ideas and principles that will not be compromised bc someone else wanted it to be

you can't control people's thoughts & that's for the best (also alhaitham's SQ is literally about this lmao)