#bc its difficult for me to know when shes actually doing something wrong or if its just my brain going back into hypervigilant defence mode | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dontbesoweirdkira · 9 months ago

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howdyyy, what do u think of plat yan! dick grayson (or platonic yan father bruce wayne up to u) with a batsis who is very disinterested with him primarily bc when she was younger she idolised him a lot but now not so much. there are comics where grayson has cheated on his partners before so imagine batsis coming to realise as she aged and matured that her doting brother is a bit of a playboy…. a lot like a playboy actually—

You know, this is actually extremely realistic. There's nothing like the rose color glasses falling off and realizing just how messed up your family truly is.

I'd like to think that there was plenty of jokes and mentions about Dick being a playboy but Batsis would just be absolutely clueless. You probably just thought it was a reference to his charming appearance or the way he gets hit on at least once whenever he goes out. Not really that he was an notorious heart breaker.

Like i don't think the other batkids had serious talks about it in front of you because of your (then) age or maybe it was a request by Dick so he could keep on his perfect mask with you?

Ironically, he wouldn't want any man to treat his little sister (or any of them) the way he does to other women but he has a problem. I will say though, it makes absolute sense that Dick or even the others would have issues keeping relationships or even have sex addictions. I mean it's a real issue that many people are struggling with right now. But can you imagine your father constantly bringing home women and cheating your entire childhood? Like Bruce introduces some of these women to them, they get attached to this potential mother then it's ripped away to be discarded for the new catch. I think that definitely warped Dick's view of women and romance stems from that. *intense mommy issues* But also i mentioned before that it's hard for him to maintain relationships while taking on the fatherly role in the family. His obsession with making sure all of his siblings are cared for and protected(mixed with being nightwing), makes it all the more difficult. Maybe that leads him to just hooking up with and being sloppy in his relationships. Maybe its just a means of stress relief and that causes him to almost dehumanize/objectify the women he "romances".

I'm not saying this is justifiable, cheating is disgusting and his behaviors are something that needs to be corrected regardless of mommy issues but for headcanon sake we are entertaining the concept

I'm not sure how you'd exactly find out about it. Maybe one of the kids let it slip and didn't bother to do damage control because you're old enough now? Maybe you spoke to one of his exes that is still friendly with the batfam? Or maybe your brain started to develop and you realized he wasn't hanging out with that new super model as just friends all night...it was something more and his girlfriend definitely didn't know about it.

Regardless, I think when you finally found out about everything, your world crushed. I don't think you'd hate him but you just feel yucky about the whole thing. Now when you look at him something in your stomach just sinks. You might even wonder if you can trust him. I mean if he's got that much of a problem to be dishonest with his lovers, then why would it be so left field to suggest he lied to you too when he said he loves you or that you were his favorite? The transition from you idolizing him to being standoff-ish would be extremely noticeable to him. I mean it's hard to ignore when you were his mini me. Even as you got older you followed him around and never skipped an opportunity to be near.

He wouldn't think that it was because of the playboy thing, maybe just you needing some space as a teen. Everyone has gone through that phase before but when he notices your shift is only directed towards him, he's a little upset about it. He doesn't understand what he did wrong? One day you guys are eating ice cream together while having a sleepover in his room to you treating him like a disease.

Eventually your big brother corners you and makes you to confess whats bothering you. He apologizes if something he said rubbed you the wrong way but you couldn't keep treating him this way.

"uhm..i dunno, dick? I found out how you've been treating you partners and i think it's kinda gross. I guess i just don't really wanna be around someone who treats women like that right now..."

I think Dick's reaction would be complete shock....who tf told you?! He has no defense but he tries to muster up one before realizing this is just making him look worse when EVERYBODY knows how much of a whore he is lol. He'd back off of you and maybe even mutter an apology before walking away to go collect himself.

He's furious as well...whoever told you will be getting an earful because they just ruined something precious to him. (yeah they did. totally not his OWN actions) If it was one of his brothers, he will be throwing hands.

Dick does very much care about others perception of him, i've said this before. He knew he had a problem and his other siblings have spoken to him about it and it affected him but never enough to change. It's just a far deeper issue than wanting a quick fuck in the expense of his partners...But seeing his baby sister look at him with just so much disgust and disappointment was enough to cause him to spiral. He's not proud of his actions and knows he's hurt and discarded of many, many women for his own satisfaction. It's deplorable. I can imagine him taking maybe a few days to himself, he's just in his head while being overtaken by heavy guilt.

I'm not sure if Dick would actually change for you though? I think he is even debating it. Yeah he's a yandere for his batsis but is his obsession with you enough to kick the other one to the curb? That's up to you. A hopeful person would say, yes he would. Anything for his babybat! He's going to do whatever it takes to prove himself again, anything to make you proud. This habit isn't worth it if hes loosing you.

My opinion? No, he won't change after his guilt wears off. He'll just pretend like he's reborn. Dick would try for like a week and then go right back to doing his habits. He's a manipulative piece of work and yeah, lying to you is bad but he wants his cake and to eat it too. He's not willing to give up anything that gives him a euphoric boost. Shh...what you don't know, won't kill you.

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sorcerersseestars · 2 years ago

Text

LIMERENCE (part I)

Gojo Satoru x gn!reader

"I can't stop loving you, no matter how hard I try."

summary: Your long-time friend stirs feelings inside you that you never realized existed. Of course they bubble up in your chest while he’s in the midst of ignoring you and discovering his own possible romance. Your mutual friend thinks she has it all figured out—or does she?

pairing: gojo satoru x gn! reader

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

genre: hanahaki sickness au, angst, hurt/comfort, drama, slow burn!

warnings: mentions of feeling sick, being stonewalled kinda, usage of the word (Y/N) bc Gojo is too fed up for nicknames (in reality idk what else to use 😶), Gojo being an ass (common theme in my fics oops)

word count: 3.6k

a/n: This is the first part to my hanahaki au! I’ve had this in my drafts for the longest time, but never committed to writing it all out until now. This first bit is kinda slow and maybe confusing BUT hopefully I’ll be able to clear it up next chapter. Not proof read very thoroughly; will probably regret later 🫥

part ii part iii

“DON’T YOU THINK you could be a bit nicer to me?” You try, clasping your hands together as you look up at him with an odd smile—a cross between apologetic and playful. You’re joking, or at least half joking. It’s too difficult to be serious with Gojo; his habit of masking emotion with jest must be rubbing off on you.

Only one corner of his mouth raises. “Good one, (Y/N)-chan. As if I didn’t use to pay your bills.”

He doesn’t look at you when he speaks, and he walks away from you without a single glance. You frown and lightly jog a few steps to catch up to him.

“Ah, and I’m forever thankful for that!” You say, cringing at how overly peppy your tone is. “But that’s not exactly what I meant.”

“Hmm,” Is all he says. His hands are in his pockets, but he doesn’t carry himself with as much ease as usual—his posture is closed off, angular and tense.

“What I meant was–” You prompt your own answer, as he doesn’t make any move to. “We haven’t seen each other in a while. I know you’ve been really busy lately, so I don’t blame you, but I think we should go out and do something. Could help relieve some work stress too, don’t you think so?”

“Maybe,” He says, the word short yet effective in its delivery. The word was sharp in his mouth, clear annoyance shaping his tongue enough for the word to have a bite to it.

You wince. He never used to be like this. Gojo has been in a state of perpetual mirth—and one could argue levity—for the entirety of your friendship, never taking anything seriously and always looking for opportunities to poke fun at you to half-jokingly glorify himself. His expression has always been infectiously positive—never molded into anything hard or serious.

But, lately, everything you thought you knew about Gojo Satoru has faded away into your memories. He never seeks out your presence anymore, which is polar opposite from your high school days, when he would follow you around and pester you until you’d hang out with him. You actually used to get annoyed at this behavior, but you’re sorely missing it now.

You feel like you know nothing about him these days, only hearing tidbits here and there from your mutual friend Shoko. It stings to know that he obviously talks to her, and quite often at that, seeing she always has new details to spill every other day.

It doesn’t make sense to you: him and Shoko were never particularly close, definitely not nearly as close as you and Gojo were. In fact, she thought of him as particularly annoying in high school, and often swore to you that she would cut all contact with him once they graduated.

Back then, you had rolled your eyes at her antics, never believing that anybody could cut Gojo out of their life, seeing as he simply wouldn’t let them. But how else could you describe what he seems to be doing to you?

You bite your lip nervously. “Satoru? Is there something wrong?”

“Not particularly,” He says with a forced smile that’s screaming for you to shut up. You pretend like it’s not the most disingenuous smile you’ve ever seen smeared on his face.

“Are you sure?” You probe. “I mean…what’s been going on with you these days? We haven’t seen each other in forever, and you don’t seem yourself.”

“Are you sure?”

His lips are quirked up, as they perpetually are, but it’s different this time. It’s mocking. A mocking smirk that’s telling you to face reality. Do you really know him anymore?

You pause in your steps, studying his expression. You can’t see his eyes, but you wish you could. He’s hard to read with that blindfold concealing those powerful eyes of his, but it never used to be a problem. It hurts that you’re now struggling to gauge him when your emotions used to feel like one.

Evidently, you can’t answer his question. Not that he seems to care.

“I’ve really got to get going. Students to teach, curses to kill, all that,” He announces, tone low and apathetic. Bored. “See ya.”

Your breath flutters in your throat as you try to bid him goodbye. You choke on your words and only end up tentatively raising a hand. Before you can wave, his form disappears. A gust of wind greets you in lieu of a proper goodbye.

You stay where you are for a few shocked moments, not even registering the hot tears that leak from the eyes he avoided.

You wander aimlessly around campus for a while, the whole interaction replaying in your head several times over. His “Are you sure?” needles its way into your brain even when you push it away, the words hitting where it hurts every time.

Your feet find themselves taking you to an empty break room – ah, this is the one that has your favorite flavor of tea. You turn the kettle on, then eagerly dig through the tea stash. You file through the individual packets quickly and thoroughly, but to no avail. It’s gone.

With a sigh, you grab a random tea bag and throw it into your mug. Frustrated, you roughly begin pouring the now-boiled water into the mug, but it doesn’t seem that was a good idea. Your hand slips for just a split second, but a sizable splash of boiling water still manages to singe your non-dominant hand. A stream of expletives leaves your mouth, and you instantly cradle your hand to your heart.

More tears appear. At least you have an excuse this time—it fucking hurts.

You trudge to the clinic, feeling quite silly, but also seeking some much-needed relief. And you’re not exactly imagining painkillers or an ice pack—no, there’s something else. Someone else.

You hesitantly knock on the door. You feel stupid, but you really have to see her.

You crack a smile at the creak of the door. Your friend and co-worker Shoko strides out with an air of confidence you wish you held.

“What happened?” She asks calmly, eyes lazily taking in your form.

“Spilled some water from the kettle,” You say lamely. “It hurts.”

That doesn’t really constitute a visit to one of the only reverse-cursed technique users in the school, and you know it. So does she.

“Mmhm,” She raises her eyebrows. “Well, come on in.”

You shuffle in a little sheepishly, not able to meet Shoko’s eyes. Now that you’re here, you start to feel unsure about your own motive—do you really want to discuss this? Won’t it just be embarrassing more than anything else?

You stall a little in your steps as the negative thoughts invade your head. You’re startled to attention by a poke to your side—when you look up, Shoko’s playful smirk fills your vision.

“Come on over to the sink and we’ll put that under some cool running water,” She says, gesturing to your reddened arm.

You cock your head, looking between her and the sink skeptically, “No ice?”

She shakes her head, sticking her tongue out at you a bit, “Nope! Running water for burns.”

You hold up your hands in defeat, smiling, “Whatever Doctor Shoko says.”

“And I do,” She says cheekily. “So get under that water!”

“Aye-aye,” You say with a salute.

She groans, “Ugh. You guys are so annoyingly similar. Hang on a sec, I gotta grab something.”

She turns away before she can see the way your expression drops. The smile is stolen from your face, leaving behind saddened eyes and a slight frown. There’s only one possible person she could be talking about.

You sigh and turn on the faucet—your disheartened sigh morphs into one of great relief as the cold water soothes your burn.

“That better?” Shoko asks upon her return.

You nod, a small smile coming back, “Yeah, thanks Shoko.”

“Is there something else wrong?” She asks, then shakes her head. “No, scratch that. What’s actually wrong?”

You take a deep breath. How are you going to broach this subject? You wait several moments, pondering your exact next words.

“Do you think Gojo is okay?” You finally ask your long-time friend, words coming out almost cautiously.

She eyes you funnily, “Why are you asking me? As if he doesn’t chase you around the school to blab on about himself.”

You smile, but it’s tainted by bitterness.

“Shoko…Gojo hasn’t talked to me for two months,” You admit quietly. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

She stops.

“What?”

You hate hearing the confusion in her voice. You hate the pity that soon fills her eyes.

“He seriously hasn’t,” You affirm, sighing. “I don’t know what I did, or if I did anything, or…or what. I just, I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

You sigh. “Of course I have, but he didn’t seem to take my concerns seriously. Or consider them at all. It just seemed like he wanted me to shut up and leave him alone.”

Shoko looks at you curiously, lips quirking as if she has something to say, but no words come out. Is she holding something back?

You take a deep breath, willing the horrible emotion that squeezes your throat away. You look out the window to distract yourself, watching the branches of a sakura sapling swaying in the wind. It looks alone and lost, battered by the relentless wind.

“What’s he been like recently with you?” You finally ask, your gaze still on the tree.

“Normal,” Shoko says. “Annoying as ever. Noisy as ever.”

A cluster of pink petals is ripped from a branch, swirling hopelessly to the ground. When they settle on the ground, you look back to your friend.

“He’s really the same?” You ask weakly.

“Unfortunately,” She says wryly. “Besides, why do you care? We’ve both been trying to get him off our backs since waaay long ago. Sounds like a blessing in disguise.”

“Ah, that’s true,” You admit with a weak chuckle, trying to ignore the way your heart throbs painfully. “But he’s also our friend.”

“Since when? More like a thorn in my side. Maybe he finally got the message,” Shoko smirks. “You should give me instructions for that. I’d have a lot better quality of life, you know.”

You know she’s just joking around with you, but she’s truly just rubbing salt in your wound. Not very ethical for a doctor, even if unintentional.

“Yeah,” You laugh, but it’s an empty sound. “Well, I guess I’ll get going then. Hopefully your next patient gives you an easier time.”

Shoko jokes, “Yeah, this has been my toughest job all week. You fiend.”

Your head is filled with so many questions, all of them growing louder as you walk away from your friend. Your friend who you thought would sympathize with you, but only ended up making you feel worse in the end is acting suspicious. It’s not like you’ve ever wanted to actually cut ties with Gojo, even when he used to pull pranks on you in high school. You craved for a strong friendship with him throughout all his shenanigans.

Why is Shoko acting like you hate Gojo, and what isn’t she telling you?

Before you reach the door, you decide you need to know. You stop abruptly in your tracks.

“Ieiri, you’re not telling me something,” You say softly, not looking back. “Why?”

Shoko sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose, “You don’t miss anything, do you?”

You say nothing. The door in front of you is tempting—it’s your way out of knowing the truth. Do you really want to know?

You wait tensely for a few seconds, the silence causing nerves to bubble up in your stomach. But when Shoko begins to speak, they go don’t go away.

“He hasn’t really been acting strange around me, but he’s constantly on his phone. Like always. Whenever he comes to chat, he immediately tunes me out and starts texting or loudly takes a call,” She snorts, huffing out an exasperated sigh. “I thought he was just bored and trying to make me feel disrespected as a sort of cruel joke, but I think it’s something else. I think…I think Gojo is interested in someone.”

Your head whips around, disbelief clear in your features. Interested in someone?

“Maybe that’s why he’s been acting weird. I always thought he was crazy for you, so it didn’t cross my mind until now.”

“Crazy for me?” You immediately echo back, voice hollow and confused.

Shoko shakes her head at you, “C’mon, you can’t be that oblivious. He always followed you around like a lost puppy in high school. He never said anything to me about it, but I really thought he would confess any day for years.”

“He did that to everyone…” You shake your head. “You say yourself he bugged you so much.”

She rolls her eyes. “Trust me, it was different.”

Your heart pounds in your chest. Your vision becomes foggy at the edges, reality fizzling out.

“Why didn’t you want to tell me?” You ask. “It’s not like that matters.”

You try to appear uncaring, yet it was a fight to get those words out.

“You’re a sensitive person. ‘Didn’t know how you’d react since Gojo always seemed to chase after your attention, exclusively. But it’s not like it was the other way around—should have known it wasn’t a big deal. It’s not. Guess he’s just growing up.”

“Yeah,” You agree faintly, voice devoid of emotion. Reality is slipping through your numb fingers, the information turning your world into a nightmare. You should have opened the door and ran when you had the chance.

“It’s not,” You say with a saccharine smile, one so sickly sweet that Shoko gets chills. That’s not your usual smile—not one that Shoko has ever seen you wear. “Of course it’s not.”

When you turn on your heel and rush out of her infirmary, Shoko reaches out a hand and her lips part to call after you. It’s uncharacteristic for her—the cold doctor is rarely sentimental or emotionally affected, but she saw something ghastly in that smile of yours.

The slam of the door answers her call. The truth, now imparted, comes to bite her in the ass.

It’s been a few days. You’ve been moping around the school, around your students—trying to cope with the information that you don’t even know is true. You see him across campus sometimes; he’s so easily spotted with his translucent hair and tall frame. Every time, he’s facing away from you, and your eyes fall on the back of his head. Your chest always tightens and you end up turning away, too.

You have ignored the feelings stirring in your chest, not willing to admit something that clearly isn’t reciprocated. It has been working, you suppose, since you haven’t cracked under the mental weight of possibly being in lo—

No, you can’t even think that.

Everything has been as okay as it can. It’s not until you attempt to visit Shoko again to try sort out your feelings, however, that things take a turn for the worse.

Your hand is raised as you prepare to knock on the infirmary door, but you hesitate once you hear muffled voices.

“I don’t know…I didn’t expect it at all.”

That’s Gojo’s voice. That low but self-assured tone is undeniably his.

“Expect what?” Shoko asks, sounding bored.

His reply is so soft that it passes by as just a hiss of air, so quiet that you physically startle at Shoko’s loud reaction.

“No! What? I can’t believe that!” She shouts, laughter quickly following her exclamation.

You shouldn’t be listening—you hadn’t planned to eavesdrop on your two best friends, but for some reason your ear seeks out the wall, as if magnetized.

The next three words uttered still your heart.

“Utahime kissed me,” Gojo admits quietly.

You feel like you can’t breathe. Utahime, who has always despised Gojo even beyond Shoko’s extent. Utahime, who once cried into your chest after Gojo was harsh with her at an exchange event. Utahime, who always persisted that you and Gojo were into each other during high school.

Shoko’s unbelieving chuckle cuts through your thoughts.

Shoko laughs, “Oh, yeah, okay, as if I’d ever believe that.”

There’s silence. Your heart drops at the lack of response—no teasing refute, no playful faux playboy attitude.

Shoko absorbs his unusual silence, finally interpreting his words for what they are.

She gasps loudly, spluttering, “Oh my God, you’re being serious. What?! There’s no way…”

Gojo’s voice is even and deep. “I didn’t lie. She just did it out of nowhere. I didn’t even know how to react, to be honest.”

“So you just stood there?” Shoko snorts, trying to keep up her usual sarcastic persona. “God, you’re insufferable all the way around.”

“I kissed her back,” He breathes out, voice almost weak.

Another long moment of silence ensues. You hold your breath, terrified that your panicked pants will alert them of your presence.

Shoko recovers quickly this time.

“Still insufferable,” She sighs, and you can imagine her shaking her head. “So what now? You like her or something? This is so random.”

“I…I don’t know,” He admits quietly. “I never thought she’d do that, it took me by surprise. I…I think I liked it?”

Your heart shatters. You clutch a hand to your mouth, gagging yourself, forcing back the pained gasp that’s threatening to leave your lips.

“Oh, is that so?” Shoko says drily, but the usual edge to her voice is absent. You can only imagine her expression: contorted with pity and pain, desperately trying to maintain her poker face.

“Yeah,” Gojo reaffirms. “It was nice.”

There’s silence for a few seconds as Shoko takes it all in. Then, “Is she who you’ve always been calling and texting when I’m talking to you? You’re an ass for that, by the way.”

Gojo exhales out a sardonic sniff, “You’re spot on.”

Why are you still listening? You should leave. You shouldn’t be hearing this. Pain blooms in your chest, as if thorns became lodged between your ribs.

“What about (Y/N)?”

You freeze, eyes bulging out of your head.

Gojo sighs, sounding annoyed, “What do you mean?”

“I’m not dumb, Satoru. There was something going on during high school and frankly in the past few years as well. Are you going to deny it?”

He scoffs, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Shoko. It was never like that.”

You feel like you’re going to be sick. You shouldn’t—there’s no possible way you’re actually in love with Gojo Satoru, is there?

Fuck. The thought you’ve been trying to avoid all this time has finally firmly inserted itself into your head.

You take off swiftly and immediately, and your footfalls are as light as you can possibly manage. If either of them knew you were here, you wouldn’t be able to handle the shame.

Gojo and Shoko are none the wiser to the immoral action that took place just beyond the door—so when Shoko is ready to clock out and opens the door, the presence of a school ID on the ground is nearly missed. She feels something strange crunch underneath her foot and steps away and glances at the foreign object.

You left in such a hurry that your ID flopped out of your pocket. It lays on the ground, your smiling face staring up at Shoko, who looks on in horror. She immediately knows that you heard everything. She quickly steps back onto your ID, concealing your identity with her foot.

With all the sight of his six eyes, Gojo somehow completely missed Shoko’s strategic maneuvers to erase traces of your presence. He whistles nonchalantly, not having a care in the world, apparently.

In contrast, Shoko’s mind is racing. Her eyes roam around the courtyard, searching for your form. She feels rooted to the spot—will she reveal you if she steps away? She almost forgets that she’s not alone.

“You looking for someone?” Gojo asks.

Shoko stiffens, but forces herself to relax and appear nonchalant. “Ah, I was just wondering if…if (Y/N) would still be around.”

Gojo frowns. “Hm. Not sure. Don’t they usually go home right after they get off?”

“Lately, they’ve been staying back to do paperwork,” She sighs. “Masamichi has really giving them too many missions…How come you don’t know that?”

“Haven’t had the chance to catch up, I guess,” Gojo says evasively, then quickly changes the subject. “Besides, aren’t you the same way? You coming or not? I’ve got better things to do.”

He waves his cell phone around playfully, a smirk widening across his features.

Shoko rolls her eyes, “Go ahead. I’m just going to wait here a bit and see if I can text them and get them over here.”

She hesitates for a second before adding, “Actually, why don’t you wait a sec? We haven’t all seen each other in a bit.”

Gojo immediately stiffens. He scratches the back of his head and says, “Ah, I’m actually sort of on a time crunch. Maybe next time.”

What a lie. Shoko thinks, eyes narrowing subconsciously. What is he up to?

As he trails off into the distance, the gears in Shoko’s head continue to turn. He always, always teleports home after work finishes. So why is he slowly walking around campus, head turning this way and that way as if searching?

And you! Why were you there? Why were you so affected? What is going on in your head—or rather, your heart?

Something strange is going on with her two friends and Shoko is determined to find out what.

next part

credit 🩷:

@kiyaedits - baby pink dividers, @sweetxmelody - cherry blossom divider

*note: taglist open!! comment to be tagged in part 2 :)

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo behavior #hurt/comfort #gojo hurt/comfort #angst #jjk #best buddie shoko #sad bc utahime and shoko aren’t together in this one 😤#Gojo is a hater

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midnight--sadness · 3 months ago

Note

I need as much trans Gi-hun headcanons as I can possibly get (if you have any, please 🙏🏻)

i do have a few, but i just want to start this by saying that i'm not trans, so if i say something wrong or offensive, pls let me know!! i'm always willing to learn more 🫶

and here is a list of gihun hcs i receive a few months ago from an actual trans man!!! so pls listen more to his hcs than mine, obivously! 💞

i think it didnt take malsoon very long to accept her son. she has always known that gihun didn't feel comfortable when she dressed him in dresses and such. and i think he realized very young that he felt like a boy, so she just accepted it bc she loves him.

transitioning early also means that gihun began wearing binders as soon as he developed breasts, so he ends up just looking like his chest is a man's, which it is, but with a bit of extra fat in it. (he does practice safe binding tho! he learned that lesson the hard way)

working in a factory around manly men was a dream come true bc no one tried to say anything abt him being there. they accepted him and i think that's when he started to realize that every part of him is a man now, not just how he feels inside.

i have no idea how easy it is to get testosterone in korea, but even now i think it's difficult and carries a lot of stigma, but let's pretend like it's much simpler* - gihun has his shots and he never misses a single dose, no matter how busy he is or how distracted he gets.

sangwoo finds out when he finds the needles and think gihun is doing drugs, but then gihun tells him that he wasn't born a boy and that he's trans. sangwoo, nerd that he is, immediately dives into research (lets also pretend he would have access to this in 80s korea).

he has a hysterectomy in his late 20s. it's underground since most doctors wouldn't do it and gihun could have died, but he needed to do this procedure to finally feel comfortable in his bones. jungbae, our ride or die, is totally supportive and he even helps gihun recover. that's what truly seals their bond.

he still marries eunji and has gayeong, bc i love them.

i dont think he'd get bottom surgery. i think he reaches a point where he feels very good abt himself and having a pussy doesnt make him a woman or any less of a man, so he keeps it. it's never been a point of dysmorphia for him and since he can't get pregnant or have a period anymore, he doesn't mind it; in fact, he likes it, he always feels good during sex.

i dont think gihun would try very hard to comform to society's idea of a man - he knows who he is, and who he is a kind, gentle, happy man with love in his heart! he doesn't wan to be stoic or angry or arrogant, like the men around him. he's himself, totally and completely.

*when i say pretend its simpler, it's just that it's simpler to me personally, to to write these hcs. i can't imagine how it was for trans men in korea in the 80s to get access to testorone, especially with the political climate at the time.

again, i'm not trans, the only thing i know abt being trans is what i've read online or from what friends of mine have said, so pls pls let me know if i made any mistake or said something completely wrong!!!

#asks #yapping 4ever #squid game #seong gi-hun #trans gihun #oh mal-soon #park jung-bae #cho sang-woo #headcanons

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razielim · 2 months ago

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#portuguese#entirely so as to speak with cosmic in TWO languages#catch me becoming cosmic's neighbor and hauntingly whispering strugatsky quotes through the walls#in portuguese#this is very normal behavior btw

#>>> oh gabe 🥺🥺😭😭🥰🫶😘😘#I actually think you could do it#pronunciation wise you'd have an advantage already#I've been told from different people that it doesn't sound similar to the other romance languages. that it sounds more slavic than anything#people will hear it and often think they're hearing russian. polish or ukranian more often than not.#learns russian for you so we can speak in three languages now and we end up inventing a clockwork orange style amalgam of the three!#also laughs at the 25% that wanna know spanish hehe that was free DLC for me by virtue of having portuguese

@cosmic-navel-gazin: that's really funny to hear it sounds slavic to people bc to me portuguese sounds like "french i can't understand." ...as opposed to "french i can understand" (french). it's not one of those languages that I can identify as sounding its own unique way without the extra step of "ah this is french! wait. am i having a stroke? ah this is portuguese!"

this system is unfortunately also how i identify ukranian and korean when i hear them. the 'wait am i having a stroke' method of language identification, for when a language has VERY MANY sounds and mannerisms in common with a language you know... and perhaps a fuckton of shared word roots... BUT no you don't know this language. you don't know how it works. you've run face first into a brick wall. mostly i'm guessing the result of not actually HEARING IT often enough for the brain to recognize it as itself without the extra step

anyway i went to look up a random video of random people just candidly speaking portuguese, and WEIRDLY ENOUGH?????????? i can hear it???????????????????? sounding slavic????? what???????? bc... vowels?? bc... cadence?? what is it that does that?? it's like they're saying words or using endings that are totally linguistically different but are totally homophonous to russian words and endings???

example 1: when she says "vamos la" I'm like..... WHAT. it's like she's saying "ya poshla" ("i'm gonna go" (fem.)) or SOMETHING. bc the consonants are different but the vowels AREN'T. whattttttt

example 2: when she says "musica portuguesa" the vowels in "musica" sound almost exactly like the russian ones and "portuguesa" TO ME sounds like she's about to very casually slur/say "potomuchto..." ("because...") WHAT

And I thought "wow i'll never think it sounds like french ever again" WRONG. the moment i started trying to hear if the speech in this video sounds french, it again sounded french, and i think??? it's because of the consonants and the dipthongs??????? maybe??? and of course it must be because of the actual roots too.

it's also that they all move their bodies and pause in ways that are, on the whole, more "european" than "american" so that's just a fully blurred line there, listening and watching as someone who uses and observes american mannerisms all day every day, even when speaking russian with russians. it's difficult to untangle language stuff from cultural stuff. like do french people talk a certain way because they're french or because they're european? unclear! does french sound a certain way because of the words or because of the pauses between them? also unclear. etc. are pauses and gestures adopted and shared beyond language barriers and what determines where they stop between two regions/cultures? probably only the experts who study this and try to track these things can answer that!

oof oof, this is quite the brain workout. goodbye i must immediately eat food to replenish all the glucose i burned through thinking about this!!

#replies #social #language #cosmic

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iron-sides · 23 days ago

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⭐ !!!!!!!! <— for whatever fic you wanna talk about :))

okay this is my third attempt at finishing this post tumblr mobile kept forcing me to look at my notifications im on the laptop now i will talk about Thursday -- Spaghetti if it kills me (i just feel like ive talked set the bone straight and eat you alive to death and i havent talked abt thursday at All which is so sad bc im really proud of it even tho it made no noise 😭 and i feel like its just a bit unfair to talk about either of the mdzs fics id love to talk about when im like 80% sure ur not familiar with mdzs in any capacity lol) anyway! under the cut bc its my directors cut and i want to go through the whole fic paragraph by paragraph ^_^

The worst part is that you deserve it, really, the pit in your stomach you get, sometimes, when you look at her. You left her, not the other way around. You are the one in the wrong. You knew she couldn’t do what you were asking, or if you didn’t then you should have. God knows you’ve known her long enough.

ok so first off-- this fic is in 2nd person. i was really enjoying playing around with second person and how it so completely roots us in tubbos pov... i really want to do more second person now that im rmbring how fun this was lol

also: i am immediately throwing you in the deep end. You dont need any names, you don't need any context, you just need to know that the pov character hurt someone and regrets it. I wrote this for a class that we weren't allowed to write fanfiction for, so I needed to be vague enough to pass this off as not taking place in minecraft, but specific enough that the girls who get it would get it, and I really think I succeeded here. that tubbo blames himself for what happened to tommy during exile is really central to my characterization of him, so we have to open with it. What actually happened doesn't matter (because then tubbo would be forced to reckon with the sheer scale of both of their traumas and the extent of dreams machinations, something he Will Not Do). what matters is that something happened, it was horrible, and it's his fault that things are difficult now.

She’s weird, now. Clementine. She looks at you like you’re going to disappear, like you aren’t real. You offer her spaghetti, and she takes it. She brings the bowl up to her mouth the way Hannah says they do in Japan; she eats like she’s a starving animal. Maybe she is. You saw how she was living in there— the empty fridge, empty cupboards, empty everything. You saw the rope, and for the worst week of your life were sure you’d lost her.

and now the elephant in the room: tommy is now named clementine. i usually prefer her to keep the name tommy, even in transfem hcs, but for purposes of not having to explain that women can be named tommy to the stupidest man alive (the teacher) (he could barely read i have no idea why he thought he had any business pursuing a masters in poetry when he thought the protagonist of a story was the pov character 100% of the time and couldnt grasp the idea of prose poetry, but i digress) anyway she's clementine here. idk clementines a cute name and i cant believe i ever let ppl bully me away from it

food is very important to the sort of undercurrents of how i think about nebulous post-canon-as-it-was-understood-in-2022 benchtrio. I have another fic i wrote way back in 2022 after a number of conversations with my friend hazel americanrosetyler back when she was a dsmp blog about cbeeduo and food as love. I really wanted to focus on how this is something tubbos thinking about, now that he's raising a child especially, where he might not have been before. Clementine eats like a starving animal. back at logstedshire (and it is meant to be logstedshire, i'm seeing now it's definitely unclear.... i should re-edit this. anyway) she had empty fridge, empty cupboards, empty everything. she wasn't eating, and tubbo doesn't actually know whether or not that was voluntary.

also, honorable mentions for this paragraph: the nods to the hallucinations of tubbo clem did in fact have in logstedshire ("She looks at you like you’re going to disappear, like you aren’t real.") and ^_^ hannie mention...... i needed a name it was never going to be anyone else okay. and i definitely remember at least one stream where they all hung out so its not completely implausible. would name dropping niki or puffy or even fundy make more sense? yes. but its me) also they're having spaghetti specifically as a tumoasd reference. anyone else think about tumoasd like all the time. not my favorite in terms of good characterization but god it was fun & its inextricably linked to spaghetti for me

You offer her more spaghetti. Michael doesn’t like it, but that’s why you cut up some apple slices for him and stuck them in the fridge earlier. You could ask Ranboo to grab them, or Clem, but you’re restless and worried and need an outlet so you stand. The chair scraping against the cold tile of your kitchen floor is loud, but hardly the worst sound you’ve ever heard. It could be worse. It could be fireworks.

One thing about me is i will give characters grandma-isms and i am a firm believer in the idea of tubbo liking to feed people. he doesn't know what to do or how to help but he needs to do something so he'll make a huge amount of whatevers for dinner just so he can offer clementine seconds and thirds and fourths until she turns him down. He just wants to be sure she's eating. Also i will never write a fic where characters eat and not give Anyone arfid and this fics lucky winner was michael ^_^ sure he's also a toddler but the picky eater struggle starts young okay.... im giving him what i never had (an option for dinner thats appealing even when the main meal isnt)

Also: emphasizing the awkwardness. I want to it be unclear whether everyone feels it or just tubbo. Also, I'm really proud of "It could be worse. It could be fireworks." I just think it's good idk

The fridge is covered in Michael’s drawings— he still isn’t talking much, but he’s always drawing the three of you and Clementine. You think he might think Clementine’s his mom, and it doesn’t bother you the way it would have a few years ago. It means Clem’s here, that she knows your kid, that she’s stayed. That matters a lot more to you than anything else ever could. You open the door and grab the apple slices off the bacon tupperware. When you close it, you do so gently.

the bacon tupperware is a real thing in my irl's fridge/freezer idr why it made it into the fic tho. probably just felt suitably domestic.

as for "it doesn't bother you the way it would have a few years ago" i was drawing on a couple things here-- mostly, when i was in elementary everyone said that my best friend (a guy) had a thing for me. it was generally understood as common knowledge and we just went about our time anyway but i was always so uncomfortable with it because i was pretty sure it wasn't true and didn't like people saying we should date. we're both queer now, and still friends, but it doesn't bother me as much now when my family implies such things bc ik it would never happen. i really wanted to push cclingys dynamic here-- a few years ago the implication of romantic relations between himself and tommy would have been uncomfortable for tubbo, and now they aren't. is it because benchtrio have a little polyamours qpr situation? is it because now that clementine's transitioned the threat of a romance shaking up the established boundaries of the dynamic feels less real (i write tubbo as a gay man & tommy/clementine as both transfem and aspec)? is it because he's just more secure in the friendship and his identity now than he was then? I think it's a little bit of all there. Clementine definitely has a permanent place in tubbos life and at his table, and will absolutely be helping to raise his son, and michael probably will call her mom.... and also cclingy are never going to be romantically involved (i can enjoy that but i couldn't write it). idk this was important to me can you tell.

The table’s only a step or three away from the fridge, but you walk around behind Ranboo to give Michael his apple, just to have an excuse to kiss him on the temple. You’re still learning, all over again, how to be gentle. You swear it used to come naturally to you, but you hadn’t had anyone to be gentle with for so long before you met him you forgot how. There was always Clementine, but she’d been so far away you didn’t get to see her much. For all that it cost, and for all that you wish so desperately that you could go back and un-do it all, you’re glad she’s here, now.

so much of this fic, to me, is about re-learning how to be gentle. tbh it really does go along with "love, vodka, or the sea" & "all i want for christmas" & "set the bone straight" in terms of being about re-learning a relationship. tubbo couldn't afford to be gentle during schlatt's administration, or when he was the child president of new l'manberg. he couldn't afford to be gentle during the revoltion either-- hell i'd argue it was beaten out of him during the disc war. at heart, he wants to be gentle. he wants to be kind. he just... forgot how. He's re-learning, now, for his son, and his husband, and, a little bit for himself and clementine and the people they used to be. I think that cclingy are most interesting when their images of themselves are all tied up in each other. tubbo can't learn to be gentle with clementine until he learns to be gentle with himself. this isn't directly addressed in the fic but it's true to me......

Michael rams his forehead directly into yours, and you hiss in pain as you open the Ziplock and dump the apples in front of him. “Christ, kid, that hurts,” you say to him, but he grins up at you and you can’t be mad. You were the same way as a kid. Ranboo reprimands him, says something about not headbutting hard surfaces, especially other people’s heads. You glance over at Clementine, and she’s smiling, slightly. She does this sometimes, is apparently charmed by this domesticity you’ve somehow found. You walk behind her on the way back to your seat and— gently, carefully— knock your head into hers. She leans back, rests her head against your shoulder the way you used to rest yours on hers when you were little boys fighting wars neither of you understood.

michael 100% gets this From tubbo btw tubbo absolutely headbutts people affectionately. goat boy.........

i really am fond of all the ways cclingy can and cant read each other. Clementine Is incredibly charmed by the domesticity at the _Beloved family dinner, and she's also a little unmoored and overwhelmed.... she isn't sure how she fits in. i think this happens pretty soon after she comes back from being killed by dream in the prison, so she's still adjusting to. well. everything. How fortunate that tubbo comes over to knock his head into hers so she knows that she is included in this. that she is wanted as a part of it. and he doesn't even know thats going on he just loves her and wants to practice being gentle with her augh......

also also: referring to her as having been previously a little boy is me drawing directly on my own experiences as a trans person ^_^ i talk about past versions of myself using the gendered terms/pronoun that version of myself used, even if i no longer use it, so like when i was 10 i was a little girl etc. every transfem ctommy i will ever write is the same because i said so ^_^

She talks even less than Michael these days. It’s a stark difference from the summers you spent hiding behind her and letting her do all the talking for the both of you, loud and boisterous as she was, but you figure that’s what war does to a person or whatever. God knows you don’t fare much better. She smiles, though, and whispers: “Thanks.” You know what she means. You always know what she means.

I'm just fond of her getting quieter after everything..... i think she would still be brash and rude and abrasive but i love the idea of that becoming a more nonverbal thing. flipping people off and building one million cobblestone dicks and placing rude signs claiming things as Hers...... in canon, ctommys Such a talker, and she always remains that way bc such is the nature of the twitch stream. but after smth as harrowing as exile & then the prison death i think it's interesting to explore the ways dream Broke Her Down. he Made Her Someone Different. someone more palatable to him. someone.... quieter. i think that ctommy being rude and annoying and an imperfect victim is rlly important but idk idk maybe im just prone to going quiet in times of stress but i think that the idea of her getting rlly quiet when shes just home with the _Beloveds bc she knows she doesn't have to front is simultaneously sweet (she doesn't have to pretend to be fine) and devastating (She Should Not Be This Quiet Something Is Clearly Wrong)

okay ^_^ thats the fic ^_^ sorry if this was ridiculously long and rambly but like not that sorry because youre the one who said dealers choice....... it would have been long and rambly no matter what but i have So much to say abt this fic and i never get to talk about it lmao

#my thots #answers #ask game #ficposting #i had a lot to say lmao #🍂#i rlly hope this makes sense lmao

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ratatouilleborg · 6 months ago

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Hello. I saw your post and I wanted to send my big three.

Libra Sun 10th house

Leo moon 8th house

Sagittarius rising

Thank you. Feedback will be given. I also wanted to know if we are able to send in more placements?

LIBRA SUN 10 LEO MOON 8 SAG RISING

if anyone wants to send big 3 for a description read based on my interpretations feel free!! 💌

warning; i wrote a heck of a lot for this lol. i think bc i have a lot of friends with similar placements and especially libra. (i have libra placements haha) so sorry for the long read!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i’ve known a lot of libra suns, and actually , they give “cool girl” vibes.

level headed and fairness is common, but they play it cool. bc it’s air sign, they don’t get emotional. libra naturally remains calm about things, their emotions.

decision making can be difficult, it’s not like an internal conflict, more like “i don’t want to be the one to make the decision so i make no decision” kinda takes from virgo in wanting the correct choice, except they’re not concerned with right or wrong, more like taking responsibility if their decision goes wrong.

i like this theory i found somewhere-don’t remember from where but- each sign takes a trait of their previous sign in the zodiac order. it’s supposedly an “elevated” version of the previous sign.

so take that into consideration, libra will take some of virgo traits but improved.

take virgos perfectionism, subtract relentlessness, keep the need for precise decision making- take away emotional distress.

libra sun in 10th no matter what the sign, 10th house sun will strive to stand out.

not necessarily like sun/leo. as they want attention, it takes on capricorns ambition.

10th house just needs to be on top.

they do not feel at ease unless they are achieving at something. (anything)

10th house suns are competitive!!! i have this placement too (in placidus house chart)

and i hate to lose. i love power in the weirdest ways. i think its because sun is representative of our ego.

libra is elegant, sweet veil. 10th house is power.

the combination is quite admirable i think!

it’s actually inspiring to me. i personally like pretty things, i like how libra thinks.

libra ruled by venus is just effortless pretty!

10th house makes the libra a GREAT leader.

leo moon 8th house sounds scary😃

one of my best friends is leo moon, she is the life of the party.

i admire their strength their fucking fire!!!

no bounds, absolutely does not hold back. so lively, so expressive.

the 8th house is a conundrum come to think of it!

lively leo moon, in 8th house is a bit uncomfortable. it’s kinda jarring.

not familiar for leo, especially bc it’s in the house of scorpio, which squares the sign.

hmm this feels to me like leo moon 8 is even more strong, even more powerful.

it seems to create an unmoving person.

yes, stubborn, but like remains still?

i wanna say stubborn but it’s not so stark as that, more just a powerful force that can’t be budged.

you stand on business! i think this adds to your leader power!

emotions in 8th house is so tragic. moon is our mother, and the 8th house suggests unstableness in upbringing.

from how you perceived your mother, or environments growing up, or your own experiences.

you more than likely experienced a LOT. growing up.

i feel for all 8th house moons😓

aside from upbringing, the present experiences you endure with 8th house moon; you’re perceived as an anomaly.

the pluto energy will always draw people in!

sometimes people flock to you, or they secretly envy you.

it’s because they see a depth to you.

what people notice in others, sometimes they think they lack in themselves. that’s why it feels like they’re out for you.

but they are just insecure, they’ll find their own path… ? when? who cares about them.

it’s their life, they find it , they don’t. not your problem!!!

you keep it pushing and you ignore lame haters!!😒💅

sag rising !!! i love this placement!!!

while i don’t know anyone with it, a close friend of mine is sag moon!

she inspires me bc she’s so spontaneous and can just shed off any negativity and hardships.

i admire how curious you guys are!! like the sister sign gemini!

i think sag rising ppl seem like they don’t wanna be contained ever !! they like going at their pace and they love new things.

they’re open minded people, pretty go with the flow. i think they make great company🥺

maybe not the most emotionally invested but definitely there for you, will do their best to cheer you up.

jupiter is planet of expansion so they’re always looking for more. in their daily lives and this placement is about finding what makes you happy or content. they will leave something if it is NOT working for them.

kinda like aries, goes for what they want (fire signs).

they’re usually funny and can be loud. but they’re honestly a joy to be around imo.

i’m sure i’ve met some but can’t confirm. just can guess based on their presence and vibe they give.

all together i think these placements make a strong confident person.

the 8th house might dwell on things, but besides that I think you're still powerful.

the style sense i get from these placements is tomboy/cool girl.

either masculine or feminine, it gives off chill cool vibes.

-------------------

those are my thoughts from this !!!

you can send more placements yea! i’ll try my best to speak on them. i am a beginner so bare with me if im dead wrong lol just lmk correct me! i’d love to learn🫶🩷

#astro community #astro observations #astrology #astro notes #libra #leo #sagittarius #Libra sun #Libra 10th house #10th house #Leo moon #Leo 8th house #8th house #sag rising #sagittarius rising #astrology observations #astrology readings #astro reading

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moonlit-dreamers · 9 months ago

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Can you rate all TSAMS characters?

oh dear lord- i can certainly try tho i get the feeling i'll forget some lol

in order of favorite to least favorite

sun - 10/10 - hes perfect, nothing can change my mind. hes heavily traumatized and incredibly anxious. hes the perfect specimen for whump AND hurt/comfort. im also just Heavily biased

ruin - 9/10 - yall cant fight me on this hes one of my favorites. hes a tragic, morally gray villain that did what he thought he had to. hes a sad pathetic wet cat of a man who i bet all my money on (a whopping 500 bucks) that he doesnt even know who he is as a person

eclipse - 9/10 - him being below ruin on the list means nothing bc theyre equal in my heart. again, tragic wet cat of a man whos too damn tired to deal with this shit any more. i also relate to him in ways that probably arent healthy <3

solar flare - 8/10 - BRING MY BOY BACK HE DID NOTHING ‼️

dazzle - 8/10 - sweet baby girl she can do no wrong

jack - 7/10 - he can do many things wrong but nothing could make me hate him forever <3

molten - 7/10 - he baby. he sweet. he dont know the world and thats okay. maybe i just like it when murder machines turn into pacifists and just want to have fun.

dark sun - 7/10 - he fascinates me. i want to put him in a lil test tube and study him under a microscope. i need to ask so many questions, most of them being some form of "what is wrong with you"

computer/spaniard - 7/10 - we dont talk about the previous 2 computers we dont care about them (i dont hate them im just biased <3) i only care about SPANIARD. i miss my boy why did they have to kill him he couldve been so good. sun needs his husband back/silly

old moon - 6/10 - he is... certainly a specimen. i keep bouncing between "i hate him i want to rip his head off" and "im wrapping him in a blanket so tight he cant breathe". before he died he was an absolute prick and the fandom ruined him for me bc everyone fell for his manipulation and blamed sun for shit moon did and bc i was so biased towards sun it was difficult for me to not hate him. after he came back hes more fun (and tolerable) due to him actually improving but i wish he had more set-backs bc like. to him he'd been dead for like. a week. he should be struggling more <3

earth - 6/10 - cant quite pinpoint it but i Do feel like she could be done better as a character. she... doesnt really change that much? idk how to describe it. maybe i just find her boring lol

solar - 6/10 - yes i am putting him this far down on the list bc i feel like he couldve been done SO much better. he has so little flavor it hurts. what are his struggles? what is his goal? what does he even do outside of sun n moon?? and dont even get me STARTED on how little his past is brought up in a meaningful manner, let alone be something that effects him. you could say "oh hes gotten better" yeah but we saw none of it so like?? fbkdsgnjkds i'll need to rant about his character another day smh my head

killcode - 6/10 - it was fun while it lasted or something like that. he was interesting and i Do wish they had just.. left him alive? not bc he would be "useful" or wutever but just bc like. wut if he wants to come back randomly? like he wouldve just been a fun side character

nexus/new moon - 5/10 - listen. i dont wanna put him down here. but his current arc fucked him over. he was so fun and whimsical before! he was just a silly lil guy trying to navigate the world around him and desperately trying to fill a role he couldve never filled. his current arc couldve been SO much better. but its not as emotionally charged as it could be. like. they just completely threw away his original motive! and now he doesnt care?? not even the slightest??? booooo tomato tomato tomato throwing tomatoes/ref

lunar - 5/10 - again, you can fight me, but current lunar just isnt it for me. lunar before he died? hell yeah. he was such a lil shit that only cared about stuff if it benefited him. he didnt care that he was hurting moon with his movements, he just switched sides bc moon actually paid attention to him. him and bm couldve been SUCH a good duo too OTL

bloodmoon - 5/10 - honestly i liked v1 bm more than v2. idk man. something about their energy was so different and it lured me in. v2 kinda just felt.. boring. no critiques on his character, just not for me *shrug*

gemini - 5/10 - i dunno. just boring to me

monty - 4/10 - yet another moment of "no direct hate on the character just uninteresting to me" with monty. theyre just. boring. also another moment of "i liked them before [insert event]" with the event being before earth.

the creator - 4/10 - just. meh? he could be better as a villain but hes like. been here for so long that i wonder if he really does much of anything? idk man. im losing steam atp dnf,jsdgndkj

this might be all of them..? i dunno. probably missed a bunch (and yes im aware i shoved in some laes characters shush). im gonna leave out eaps characters so this doesnt get longer and so i dont go on a hate rant about puppet/j

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zeep-xanflorp · 2 years ago

Text

rambling about the rick-unity-wong talk bc i'm upset about it

r: look, it's clear you weren't lying when you said you could've taken over earth because your finger just took over america. i need you to help me fix that.

u: oh, it took that to make you believe me?

r: why should i believe you? you show up unannounced and hijack a state.

u: i called you! multiple times! you ghosted me.

so there are two ways i think you can read rick not believing unity. one is that he believed it was trying anything to stay in proximity to rick even though he was asserting boundaries, or two, he did actually believe it but wanted to deal with the situation on his own or just wanted it gone. either way, he didn't want to be around it.

then there's the part about rick ghosting it. like okay yes. unity tried giving rick a heads up but the fact is that it knew rick wasn't answering its calls. it Knew rick wouldn't know it was there unless it made a big deal about it being there and that's what it did. it literally showed up without permission and assimilated a whole state on rick's home planet, in rick's country. just to get his attention.

w: rick, is that true?

r: she dumped me. why would i answer her calls?

and now we get a blatant explanation for why rick was ignoring unity. i imagine it would've been clear enough anyway without this explanation but rick is still upset from being broken up with. so he decided to ghost it with no explanation, cutting it off entirely.

w: alright, i'm going to commit a cardinal sin in couples therapy here, but rick, i think you're wrong. [..] you had an outer-space lady who was worried for your life and your response was hostile enough to cause a huge problem.

u: thank you.

w: now you're asking her to both forgive you and solve it?

now, the mistake wong makes here is assuming she knows the full story. obviously she's smart and i think she gave her best analysis based on what she knows of the situation, but in her ignorance she fails to listen to rick, her patient.

the whole theme of this episode is rick asserting his boundaries. he doesn't want to see unity because last time he did it ended catastrophically for him. he's not ignoring it out of pettiness but as a defence mechanism. a coping strategy. and when it decided to follow through with its plan of coming to america anyway, destroying the boundaries rick had in place, it made him lash out.

rick also has a tendency to self sabotage when things are going well for him, whether he realises it or not. he abuses morty when they get too close. he made unity party with him instead of doing its duties. his actions push people away, keeping them at arms length.

i believe his boundaries are in place to prevent these episodes of self sabotage. so when they get ignored and discarded, he goes back into that mindset.

and wong, who would be aware of this at least vaguely, blames unity's actions on rick ignoring it which is not fair in the slightest imo.

w: unity, i think the reason rick brought me here is that he doesn't know how to indicate to you he's changed. because he's changing very slowly. but he is.

now this is something i had trouble understanding bc i am a shameful rick apologist at the best of times and couldn't remember what he actually did wrong. his crime in this instance was when he was distracting unity from its work, influencing it to drink and party all the time and avoid its responsibilities. this became too much for it, especially when it saw how rick used the same methods to detach himself from his family.

so it broke up with him, leaving him to spiral into the worst mental state we as the audience have personally seen him in in present day - his suicide attempt. unity doesn't know about that, and i'm guessing wong doesn't either, because all rick needed to say to wong was that their breakup ended horribly for him so being around it is difficult for him and maybe she would've understood more. but no that's too much vulnerability for old man sanchez.

rick has changed since then. i imagine he better understands why unity left him. i also think he knows that it wants the best for him but struggles with accepting that. that's what led to this mess of a situation.

he feels hurt from being abandoned. it feels hurt that rick couldn't understand why it left. and all of this culminated in a messy situation where unity acted drastically to get rick's attention, and rick in his stubbornness and pain refused to accept it.

and so. i think wong spoke too quickly. i think she definitely knows rick's patterns and is right to call him out but made an unfair judgement on only him because even she expects the worst from him. he is changing, but she is encouraging unity not to give him a second chance because he's not there yet. when really that decision should be up to unity.

even though it does take agency at the end. after unity releases america from its hold, we get this absolutely heartbreaking scene between it and rick.

r: i trust you now.

u: that's nice. but i don't trust you.

unity turns rick's lack of trust in it back at him, and it's telling the truth. it feels betrayed by rick's actions in this episode because it only wanted to make sure rick was alright. to it, rick seems to be punishing unity for caring about him.

anyway in conclusion. rick is mentally ill, wong was a little too harsh on him in this episode bc it's a complex situation, and unity will act drastically if it can't get rick's attention. it's unfair to blame it all on rick in this case (even though things are normally his fault) bc while he did act immaturely in response, he wasn't the only one that escalated the conflict so drastically.

this is not a refined analysis. i might fix it later but no promises.

#rick and morty meta #rick and morty #rick sanchez #rick n morty #r&m #rnm #rick c 137 #rick c137 #rick #rick and morty spoilers #rick and morty season 7 #rick and morty season 7 spoilers #unity #dr wong #air force wong

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mayabishopgold · 3 months ago

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Hot take: jack took advantage of maya in the cheating incident

For the record I'm not defending what maya did in think it was awful but in a way I do understand why although I still hate it. It was self sabotage as she was triggered. jck continuously got all up in her face, she did actually ask him to leave and he didnt he continued to throw her abuse at her and he knew full well she was in a relationship. Any decent person wouldve just pulled away and the fact he was still so bitter that she dumped him so he had to go do that? Ridiculous.

Maya was emotionally distressed its unsettling to me how he knew she'd been abused her whole life and she was struggling to come to terms with it yet threw that in her face and proceeded to sleep with her when she was in that state.

And After EVERYTHING he did that season with eva and rigo youd think he might've learned something. I think it's ridiculous they had him on track for character development, he was getting help from diane to understand why he did it, the team defended him and forgave him for breaking the code, he was even getting credit from dean for trying to be better then 2 minutes later he's knowingly wrecking another relationship? Are you serious? It feels like he essentially just spat in everyones faces after they showed him so much leniency and got support for something he probably should've been fired for. I really dont like that man hes always been so inconsiderate to everyone else.

The situation reminds me of meredith and george on greys. George wasnt over her, meredith was drunk, she was dealing with relationship issues and also her mother with alzheimer's whom she had a difficult relationship with and george knew all of this. Yet she was the one who faced all the shame

Of course in both incidents you can make the argument both parties took advantage of eachother but my problem is that the men in both situations knew better. They were in healthier states of mind, they knew the woman was in a difficult place and still preceeded to do what they knew was wrong and cause so much trouble for them all bc they weren't over the girl....

I bring this up bc it frustrates me how little consequences the men face on these shows when they've done awful things and the women are demonized by both the writers and the fans. I think it's very unfair the different standard the men and women are held to I dont get how the men can continuously behave so childish and yet get to play the victim card.

I saw someone say they thought eva took advantage of jack in s3 which I thought was an interesting take not sure if I fully agree with it but it depends how you look at it. I suppose in a way she took advantage of his emotional vulnerability but jack knew full well what he was doing and did it multiple times he even admitted it and that he wasnt forced to. I mean he didnt seem to need much convincing from eva before he lead her to his bunk. I just thought that if one thought he was taken advantage of there then I dont know how he didnt do the exact same thing to maya if not worse.

I’m not sure I’d say Jack took advantage of Maya, I’ve never really seen it that way. But it’s definitely interesting that you drew a parallel to the Grey’s situation. To me, the two feel pretty different. Maya was emotionally vulnerable and self-sabotaging, yes, but the scene was framed as a moment of mutual weakness. Jack didn’t come off as predatory to me. Maya did ask him to leave, but then she chose to kiss him. That doesn’t make Jack innocent but he also wasn't framed as taking advantage of Maya in the same way George did with Meredith. For me, there’s a clear difference in how consent and emotional awareness were presented in each situation.

That said, I completely agree that Jack’s character arc was inconsistent, and the writers let him off the hook way too easily for a lot of what he did. But with the Maya cheating incident, I saw two flawed people, not one clearly exploiting the other. My issue is that the show never truly held Jack accountable for his part. The narrative mostly put the blame on Maya. Carina did call him out briefly, but that moment came and went.

#ask #thanks anon!#I could get into the whole George and Meredith thing but that's a whole other can of worms and I could probably write an essay

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shadyhouse · 10 months ago

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venting about work things are AWFUL right now and i just need to scream about it

i got this new job a few months ago thinking that it was gonna help me get out of this financial mess im in, i started with full time hours the first few months and things were good! but suddenly everything is just WORSE now. sure it pays slightly more but i got absolutely no hours this month bc youre expected to "earn" hours bc its all "performance based" like. i work at a fucking gas station. their literal actual excuse for me when i asked about it was "we hired more people during your shift and they wanted full time" so i just get completely thrown under the bus bc you dont deem me deserving of full time hours??? because i dont go extremely above and beyond ???????? AT A GAS STATION???? WHERE I ALREADY DO WHAT IM TOLD AND MAKE SURE ALL MY WORK IS DONE RIGHT AND PROPERLY AND THATS ALL IT HAS TO BE?????

this place's expectations are so high and corporate has their heads so far up their own asses that they treat it like youre working at the greatest establishment ever conceived and youre just undeserving and unappreciative of their generosity if you dont make their brand your entire fucking life. like okay you have this brand recognition but its still a Fucking gas station. this place is so cultish. you have to sell your soul to the company and if you desire a work/life balance or dont take it as seriously as the managers do youre punished for it.

i seriously dont know how i went from working full time to working 3 days in a single month, ive asked for more hours but they expect ME to CALL all the stores in the area to ask if they need help (most of which i cannot get to! because i dont have a car! and they know this!) and even then im only allowed to work for 4 hour shifts bc thats the rules with covering. like seriously what the fuck kind of setup is this. if im gonna spend $15 on a lyft to get to work at least let me work a full shift????????

im on day 5 of 5 days off in a row, and then after tomorrow i have 5 more days off in a row, and then i work an 8 hr shift on wednesday and a 5 hr shift on sunday. which is a day that from the start ive requested off. i have plans that weekend. so theyre straight up ignoring my availability. literally all i did was ask if i could work 8am-4:30pm instead of 6am-2:30pm because i have to wake up at 4am to catch the bus and its been really difficult for me. thats literally all i asked for and now suddenly i get less than 20 hours in a single month.

like this was so abrupt and sudden and i cant think of a single thing that would make them turn on me so hard. i do my job!?!?!? last time i was at work my boss was really short with me for no reason and she even wrote me up for something that 1) i never even got properly trained on 2) for a station that i have asked time and time again to NOT put me on because im NOT good at it. either put me in the kitchen or have me clean or have me stock, dont put me at register because i suck at it and it stresses me out. every single shift ive had for the last 2 weeks has been register. and then they blame me and write me up for things that im actively asking not to do bc i Know ill fuck it up. and we've had conversations about it. i was told that theyd put me in places im more comfortable in. and yet here i am getting written up for stupid reasons over things we've already discussed. they want to fire me SO BADLY

im honestly really upset and i dont know what to do anymore and it sucks bc every job ive had since 2022 has treated me like absolute garbage and i dont know what the fuck im doing wrong????? i start, i get told im a good worker, and then everything does a 180 and im forced to look for a new job. the cycle will never stop this is just what my life is. i dont know what to do or how to fix this. i dont even WANT to work at a gas station im here out of desperation bc my last job that i thought was going to be a career treated me so badly i just left to the first job i could find that paid more 💀

on top of everything my bank account is deep in the negatives and im scared to keep on asking for help because like. im sick of this too!!!! everything sucks!!!! everyone is broke!!!!! the good news i guess is that i applied for a better job at my roommate's place that pays a lot more and its an actual Real job but who knows if thatll actually happen..... ugh only time will tell. things HAVE to get better they NEED to 😭😭

#google searching how to **** ******

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red-dyed-sarumane · 1 year ago

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ok ok but actually i want to know ur thoughts on the en titles like even with my limited understanding of japanese im????? on half these titles and worse i gotta memorize them bc youtube forces u to read them that way. nooo its not testament its kyuuyaku hankagai nooo its not blade its shuuen touhikou....

okay i actually have my yt set to jpn so all i see of the eng titles is actually second hand but from what i know

last i checked aru sekai shoushitsu was left untranslated. i dont know how i feel about that.

problem for me starts with kyuuyaku hankagai. kyuuyaku IS old testament yes thats where the eng testament comes from. hankagai is actually a bit of word play on magus part bc there IS a word hankagai meaning like a business district or busy downtown area but the hanka magu uses in the title is actually for scientific generalizations with the suffix of town at the end. so u end up with something like town of the old testament's generalizations which. right away u can see how much extra context ur getting from that alone. reducing it to JUST testament leaves out a lot of detail & makes it more open to interpretation. if i didnt know the og title id see testament & go "oh its called testament bc its a testament of her will to work so hard and go thru all this horror time after time after time" but thats not it. look im not a religious person at all but it goes beyond word choice here the opening text is reminiscent (at the very least) of dante's inferno, 2 songs later we get more church imagery & a whole angel, this isnt a one time thing its also a part of the story & to leave it as just testament makes it so easy to ignore or overlook that part. and then there's the fact its one of the songs tied directly to a certain world's disappearance. disappearance has its main lines distributed under specific headers of sorts, each being a single 2 syllable kanji. the first of which is kyuu which is literally "past". translating both to reflect this in eng is. difficult esp when it gets to other songs but even if u leave it as old testament the "old" is Still There & its a lot more possible to catch onto the connection (hard maybe but not impossible)

shuuen touhikou makes me need to talk a walk and im not joking. fucking "blade" sounds like ur trying to appeal to edgy middle schoolers. aside from that when i hear blade im thinking its going to be a fighting song - maybe not a physical fight, but theres going to be conflict- and yes! there IS conflict in this song! its not what i would expect from seeing blade tho! she is fighting & yes the lyrics are like. using her sword to try and forge her own path out when the others let her down, but blade makes it seem like idk some noble fight or something. but u read demise escape & u KNOW shit's serious. it IS a fight but its that kind of "god i dont want to die like this" type of primal fight and not some cool miku swordfighting action. this girl's been told to sit tight and it will work out & she knows thats wrong & the only thing left is for her try whatever she can so that maybe MAYBE she can make it out alive. demise escape as a title hits the type of fear & heaviness thats in the series and gets across and entirely different picture than what blade could ever do. and. again. as one of the main songs blade completely lacks anyway to tie back to the og song. the lines in shoushitsu are shuu which becomes the shuu in shuuen. end & demise are harder to accurately translate in both songs so even with the more accurate eng title its not that easy to tie back into shoushitsu but like. at the very least u can add it as a fun fact or something somewhere.

oumen mokushiroku i just have to sit here & accept that it actually works much to my own dissatisfaction. the direct translation is concave revelation BUT mokushiroku is part of the lyrics in shoushitsu & it has an alternate reading of being pronounced "apocalypse" so a series accurate title here is concave apocalypse & concave is for the most part just tying back to the ou/concave lines in shoushitsu. for as much as i think about this song i actually dont have anything deep to say about the concave part of the title beyond that so like. fine. reduce it to just apocalypse fine whatever i hate it but [throws my hands up] u win this time magu

unplanned apoptosis is accurate the only problem is in jpn u can catch the a-a alliteration in the title but thats not a problem with the translation thats a problem with the english language itself. the alliteration thing is in fact series context btw it keeps in with that repeating fractal theme they emphasized in shoushitsu and kyuuyaku. same with marshall maximizer but there u can actually see it. kanons fine.

kugutsu ashura is. hm. im nitpicking here. literally its puppet ashura. this isnt connected to a shoushitsu heading so ur not losing anything in that regard. however. from what ive been told about ashura (thank u my friend emimin) they arent very.... in control of things. per se. so when u compound that with puppet in the title it just really drives home what she's doing is not her own will. she cannot affect anything beyond how shes supposed to (i guess thats an okay way of putting it) which saying this is also why the motif isnt in this song either but thats off topic. ashura by itself doesnt bother me as much as the others but theres just that little extra context u get from knowing the first part is puppet that adds to it from a series standpoint.

laboratory is fine the only thing is in jpn it has the separation (labo-ratory) so its obvious its on of the songs with the alliteration theme going on. more of a fun fact than actually being wrong. its fine.

as far as i know yamete kudasai and kannagi dont have the official eng titles?? even if they did idk what to say about them bc these titles are already weird from a series standpoint anyway. they dont fit into the 5 kanji title songs category they dont fit into the alliteration category theyre just kind of here. if there IS thematic importance to them we're only going to know when more songs get posted. they dont have any keywords or kanji that tie into any other specific song either. theyre just here.

#asks #kuki #aru sekai series #THANK U FOR ENABLING ME #no one gets into the series anyway so im just insane about this for no reason really #there is a fan theory some of the side songs are trying to spell out amakakeru fractal with with syllable is alliterated #but that may or may not be disproven at this point. since both kanon and kannagi would be ka #and the ya from yamete kudasai is just not there at all #or maybe thats JUST STRICTLY for alliteration songs. cant tell at this point #anyway that would be impossible to know for eng only speakers so its not much point to know here

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