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smoothlikealikeasnake · 2 months ago

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Strong Coffee and Sweet Cakes

Chapter Six ‘What Feels Right’

Genre - BTS FF, a/b/o dynamics, a/b/o BTS and MC, Ot7 x fem MC/reader, so fluffy, little angst, eventual smut

Warnings - Discussion of medical issues, physical health problems, exhaustion leading to physical pain, skin rashes, muscle pains, extreme pain, overworking, fatigue, a lot of angst, scruffing, a/b/o dynamic usage and mentions, less conscious minds? a lot of fluff too, please lmk if there’s anything to add xx

Summary - A new cafe near the Hybe building will change the 7 members of Bangtan’s lives forever, 7 alphas in a pack? A recipe for disaster. Until a sweet omega starts to stir up their world with a little bit more sugar and slowly their loneliness dissolves

Author Notes - It’s finally here! 17.5k words and a whole lot of it is angst but it’s PLOT RELEVANT, it was needed im sorry.

This was meant to be 49% angst and 51% fluff but it kind of ended up with majority angst, a good amount of fluff and a lot of hidden fluff so you have to pick out the small moments too 💖💜

I do really love the development in this chapter, I worried it didn’t quite fit very well and that some things moved too fast but I think it’s somewhat okay now after editing.

Why am I noting down ideas for 15 chapters in the future like whole multiple chapters plots already 😭

Your back’s been absolutely killing you today, sharp rushes of pain shooting through it every time you bend even a little, and to add to it all, it’s slowly travelling down your legs as well. Assuming it’s just a pulled muscle or that you slept on it funny, you power through and ignore it, also ignoring the way your skin begins to itch and feel hot and sensitive against your jeans and t-shirt.

Closing doesn’t go as usual; you have a whole lot of prep to do, so you end up staying a few hours later than usual, your process significantly slowed by the way your back and the rest of your body kept locking up and stopping you mid-task.

Finally, time to go home. You head straight to the convenience store because you sure as hell won’t be going back out after you get home, body spent. You barely manage to pull a smile onto your face, greeting Mrs.Han as another wave of pain shoots through your back, nearly stumbling straight into a display before you catch your footing. She assumes you tripped and scolds you for being clumsy, but you can hardly hear it, your mind distant.

Jungkook would tell himself he hasn’t purposefully been avoiding you; that’s a lie though. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, just avoiding the cafe, but on this particular night, he felt pulled to go to the store, convinced he was craving ramen, so on he went, walking in and bowing to Mrs.Han before aiming to go down the ramen aisle.

Your scent fills his nose instantly, and he tenses, thinking back to how he reacted to Jimin and frowning; internally, his alpha is just begging him to suck it up and accept it, and it’s not like he can walk straight back out, so he doesn’t; he’s going to push down what happened and be in control. A twitch of his nose makes him frown. your scent isnt as sweet as usual. Sure, its usually a little mild or ever so slightly tart from your exhaustion but this… The pastry of your scent smells burnt; your strawberry’s so tart its almost sharp, and then he spots you, sees the tremor of your hand as you reach out to grab your ramen, the slight bending of your back forward because you can’t stand straight right now.

Jungkook is frozen; he doesn’t know what’s making your scent so negative. He puts it down to just heavy exhaustion at first. His spring rain and fresh laundry scent dances through your nose; you follow it and see him standing at the beginning of the aisle. The pain seems to let up for a minute, so you try to straighten out and give him a smile; he returns it after a moment, walking over and also choosing his ramen.

The rest of your usual pick-and-go is as usual: standing outside and waiting for him. Jungkook comes out as energetic as ever, forgetting the whole Jimin incident momentarily, smiling and gesturing for you both to walk towards your apartment.

“How have you been, Y/n?” - Is the first thing Jungkook asks; he hasn’t seen you in a while, obviously, so it only feels right; you’re merely a few steps into the walk.

“I’ve been g- agh-” - The words get knocked right out of your chest, a pain so strong shooting from your neck down to your legs making you stumble, gasping for breath and trying to throw your hand back to grasp your back, but it only makes it worse. Jungkook is stunned, hands moving before his mind to stabilise you and looking over you, you are entirely shaking and your mind is hazy, somewhere else, hot to the touch and slowly losing the strength in your legs, about to fall to the ground.

Your whimper puts him in motion instantly; his arm wraps around your front, not allowing you to fall but also not forcing you upright since he saw how you were standing in the shop; his alpha is practically begging him to get you somewhere safe, into a nest, but his brain overpowers him just for a moment. It's a 10, maybe 15-minute walk to your apartment, and that's if you can even make it there, and it's a 3-minute drive to Pack's home, and his car is right behind you guys. The option he chose is clear.

You’re like a puppet, limbs numb apart from the searing pain that’s bringing tears to your eyes now, face scrunched as you try and wait for it to pass, but it’s not passing fast enough; you can hardly breathe, but you know it’s not the kind of pain to go to the hospital for; there’s no actual strain on your lungs or heart; it’s entirely physical and just feels like extremely intense muscle pain and surface pain.

Jungkook isn’t making you take a single step; he can’t listen to your heartbreaking whimpers for a second longer, and although he knows you’re in pain, he apologises under his breath and sets his arm under your thighs, one under your back, apologising over and over as he lifts you bridal style into his arms, knowing he’s putting pressure on the pain but this is the most efficient way to get you into his car.

You’re hunched over yourself when he sets you down, hands moving quickly to do your seatbelt, and you can’t hear his quiet reassurance, telling you it’s going to be okay, to just hold on.

Jin will know what to do; one of his hyungs will know what to do… right? His alpha is telling him not to take you to the hospital, that it isn’t what you need, and for once, he listens. There's a lone tear slowly following down your cheekbone, and your entire body is trembling trying to fight through the pain. Jungkook is off before you know it, quietly keeping reassuring you, but you can’t think about it; you can’t think about where you are going or how long it takes; every minute feels like 100 anyway.

Jungkook pulls into the carpark and rushes to your door, gently undoing your seatbelt, and he’s just a tiny bit relieved to see you trying to steady your breathing, praying that means it’s slowly passing. You barely respond besides leaning into his arms as he whisks you into his hold again, closing the door behind him with his body and jumping straight in the elevator, punching in the house code, and he’s actually glad for the fast lift-—it often makes him nauseous, but today, it’s worth it.

He’s only seeing a singular path, no attention to anyone around him nor the shouts of confusion from the members as he practically sprints to his room, careful not to jostle you and only moving faster when you whimper again, tensing against him, hand gripping his t-shirt so hard your knuckles have lost the blood in them.

“‘Ts okay ‘mega, it’s okay…” - Is all he keeps repeating as he sets you down on his bed like you are glass, letting his alpha take over to rush to his closet, that extreme order of pillows and blankets and all things soft being vital right now, pulling out blanket after blanket and pillows and piling them around your curled body. You look tiny and frail on his bed, and he lets out a whimper of his own, his own hands shaking as he deposits as many pillows and blankets as he can around you, a makeshift nest if anything.

You’re twitching through it now, the warmth welcomed and helping, gripping onto a pillow he puts in front of you; even if your body is feverish, the heat provided by the nest he tried to make around you seems to help. It washes away a layer of the pain until you’re at least able to move your limbs and find yourself gripping the back of your own t-shirt. Taking deep inhales of the scent flushing around you, soothing something deep inside you.

Jungkook’s a mess, his hair messed up where he’s pulled at it and his breathing heavy, standing there not knowing what to do next now that he’s built you a nest and got you to the safest place he could think of in his mind, his alphas pushing at him to come over and wrap you into his arms, to hold you through the pain and to scent you into that fuzzy headspace, convincing him it will take away the pain, but he refuses to do that; instead, he finds himself calling out.

“Hyung- hyung please” - He doesn’t know what hyung he is calling out for but he doesn’t take his eyes off of you for a second; he walks towards you and when he’s standing at the edge of the bed, you reach your hand out, eyes closed and grip onto the corner of his shirt, refusing to let go, face scrunched in pain, not that Jungkook would have made you let go anyway. He doesn’t have to call out twice; in an instant, there are rushing footsteps and multiple people bounding through his door, summoned by the strong distress flooding the hall and Jungkook’s borderline cries.

The first to come in are Seokjin and Namjoon, who saw him rushing in with you in his arms, beelining for his bedroom. They can’t even see you until they walk closer; they can only see your arm poking out because Jungkook had piled the border of his bed so much with all the nesting materials. It’s a little scruffy, of course it is- he’s never had to make a nest before, but that hardly matters.

The room smells burnt and makes their noses scrunch as they get closer; your scent burnt and Jungkook is stormy; he’s stressed; they can see it before they see you. Once they get in close enough to see you, Jungkook spins the top of his body, growling at them and then dropping it with a hurt expression, muttering out apologies; they don’t mind; they understand; he hadn’t meant to; he’s simply being protective.

Seokjin looks over you, curled up on Jungkook's bed, and tries to work out what’s wrong. You have a light sheen of sweat covering your skin, and the more your t-shirt sticks to your back, the more you whimper and try to pull it back.

Namjoon is distraught, running his hands through his hair; the first thing that goes through his mind is the possibility of you being in heat, and he curses under his breath.

Seokjin goes to the other side of Jungkook, stands next to him, and crouches down until you open your eyes and make eye contact with him, filled with tears and so clearly in pain it hurts his heart.

“Where does it hurt, sweetheart?” - He speaks as calmly as he can; your answer will pretty much tell him whether you’re going into heat or not. He’s probably the most levelheaded of the pack and has the most experience with omegas too.

You can hardly speak, letting out a half whimper as you try to respond and just keep pulling at the t-shirt on your back; it’s where it all started anyway, and you really hope he understands; he does.

“I’m just going to have a look, okay?” - He says, and you nod, burying your face into a blanket and gripping Jungkook’s shirt even tighter, tugging him until his legs are flush with the bedframe. Jungkook wants to pet your head to soothe you, but he can’t- doesn’t know if he’s allowed.

Seokjin rounds the bed until he’s on the other side, and he curses when he can already see a slither of your skin at the top of your jeans where the t-shirt is pulled away. He has to gently pry away your hand from it, and instantly your hand is flying forward to find something else to hold onto.

Seokjin has to carefully push your shoulder so that you’re more lying on your front than on your side, and when he pulls up your shirt to just below your bra clasp, Jungkook whines low and distraught. Seokjin immediately curses at the once small patches of rash that have spread down your spine and your waist; he imagines it goes down your hips too, but his hands reach up and pull at the collar of your shirt instead, finding them all the way up to your neck.

Your body is finally fully fighting back; it’s been giving you warnings for a while about how far you’re overworking yourself, but now, your omega is physically stopping you from pushing anymore. They can see your muscles spasming and tensing as a new wave of pain rushes through you; this time it’s less intense, and you don’t do more than squeeze Jungkook’s shirt and his hand, which- you don’t know when you found but somewhere along the way.

Seokjin rubs the back of his hand so softly across the small of your back, feeling how your skin is burning; he absolutely would have thought you were in heat had he not seen this and known enough about omegas.

He pulls away, hands running through his hair and cursing once again. Jungkook looks at him for guidance, confusion and concern written all over his face. Namjoon had stood by the door and stopped the others from coming in, just for a minute, until they knew what was wrong.

“Namjoon, can you go get her a shirt, something soft and oversized- and I mean, soft- infact take Jimin with you” - Is the first thing Jin calls out, the two in question running instantly, not caring whose shirt it is, just finding something that suits the criteria; they settle for one of Yoongi’s since his room is closest; the fabric is Jimin approved, and by the time they come back, Jin has already sent Hoseok off to get something for him too.

“Theres a white and pink tub of cream in my bathroom cabinet; you’ll know its the one when you see it. bring me that.” - Jin told him and Hoseok went and found it.

“Im sorry…” - You try to get out, breathy and low, and Jungkook and Jin’s heads snap to you. Not that Jungkook took his eyes away for a second, Jungkook whines at your apology- it’s far from necessary, and Jin brushes it off, telling you you shouldn’t be sorry- even though he will be having a chat with you about the cause of this sometime later.

When Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok are back and in the room, their eyes widen at the sight of you, the back of your shirt still pulled up a little bit and the younger two freeze, Hoseok grabbing the shirt from them and walking straight over to hand the items to Seokjin hastily.

Seokjin puts a hand on your face, turning you to face him and grabbing your attention, feeling the heat under them too and frowning at the tears hitting his fingers.

“Do you think you can change into this shirt, sweetheart? This is too tight” - He gestures to the one you're wearing, and you nod a little, trying to move up but shaking too much. Jungkook is instantly helping you to sit up, waiting until you're steady, and you still haven't let go of his shirt. Seokjin ushers everyone out, including himself but when he tries to get Jungkook out, you grip onto his shirt a little tighter and look down, speaking through your haze, clearly led by your omega

“Stay, please just… turn” - And Jungkook obliges in an instant, nodding whilst Seokjin huffs and gives him a pointed look. You let go only for a second, and when the door closes, you start to try and pull off your shirt, gasping and whining muffled, but it has Jungkook clutching his own shirt to not turn around and just help.

The fabric of the shirt is so soft, it’s oversized and doesn’t cling to you anywhere, long enough that it would reach your thighs, but you keep your jeans on obviously. It feels a little better already, but maybe that’s because it’s drenched in Yoongi’s scent, the warmth of the whisky and leather so appealing, and despite all your pain, your omega is purring.

“Done…” - Is all you say before Jungkook is spinning around again and looking over you as if you would have gotten more injuries, then he calls for Seokjin again, and he’s rushing in, picking up the cream and looking at where you sit curled in on yourself, scent still burnt, but there’s a tinge of sweetness added to it, a little bit of comfort.

“This cream will help soothe your rash a little; is it okay if I put some on your back?” - Jin stays a good distance until you nod and he lifts your shirt, Jungkook holding it at your shoulders for you, trying not to whimper himself at the full extent of the rashes, and although he knows it can’t be the sole part of your pain, the way you were twitching and tensing so randomly hints it’s deeper than just your skin; this will at least help a little, he hopes.

The first touch of the cold cream on your back from Jin’s fingers makes you twitch and then sigh; pushing back into his hand, it works instantly to cool down the area but at another rush of pain in your muscles You tense again, curling impossibly closer to yourself until your head is touching the bed, legs still crossed in your lap but completely curled over.

Seokjin frowns at the other pain you're experiencing, also seeing how the rash follows deeper than the band of your jeans and that it’s under the back of your bra too.

“Y/n, can I unclasp this?” - He asks, gently touching the clasp, and you nod, trying to pass through another wave of pain. As soon as he’s popped open the back of your bra, you let out a little puff of relief, no longer any pressure around your back at all, and Jin continues to rub the cream the whole way up to the nape of your neck, where he hesitates, a thought coming to mind.

Scruffing could help numb the rest of the pain; he couldn’t possibly do it without your permission, but if you did want that, it’s a solution, even if only temporary.

“Does that feel a little better?” - You can only nod into the bed. Jungkook replaces the shirt down your back, and you roll onto your side so you can curl up even more. You reach out again, and Jungkook is quick to get closer, hovering over the border of the nest so you can reach his shirt and hold it again, somewhat becoming a staple of comfort in the short time you have been in this state. Jungkook is gnawing at his lip, so worried it’s killing him.

“Still hurt?” - Jin asks with a frown when you tense again, and you breathlessly try to respond, stuttering over your words.

“U-under my skin” - He knows what you’re trying to say; when he’s about to suggest something, Jungkook reaches out and puts a hand flat on your back, and to their surprise, you go boneless, sighing out in relief. The touch has your omega chanting ‘alpha, alpha, alpha’ in your mind, and you don’t even understand it yourself, but the scents and touch and nesting seem to ease the pain a little.

“You need to rest Y/n, your bodys protesting from the inside out.” - Jin frowns and you sigh out, nodding, never thinking it would get to this point and then you realise where you are… Opening your eyes and looking around, Jungkook’s hand is gently rubbing your back, and it’s blissful and painless.

“I should get home- i’m sorry for this…” - You get out, frowning when your omega protests your words and practically screams at you; a surge of pain, lighter than the others, flows again. You try to hide it, try not to tense, but they can see it.

“I don’t think thats a good idea sweetheart…” - Jin regretfully tells you but he won’t go against your wishes; he won’t hold you here, but god, he wants to. It’s late at night; this sort of pain has been long in the making, and he’s certain you shouldn’t be alone.

“I have to get back; i have work in the morning…” - Jungkook snarls and Jin scoffs; you tense below them, and they soften their approach, but you can’t go to work tomorrow; it’s out of the question, not like this.

“What you need is to take a break; work can wait” - You want to protest, but your omega immediately purrs at his words, agreeing with the suggestion, and you think back to not only your friends telling you to listen but also to Dr.Kim’s worry and disapproval. One day should be okay…

“I don't think it will help for you to be alone right now, just try to rest here, atleast for now? We can stay with you, or we will be right outside if you need anything” - Jin tells you. You purse your lips, not wanting to hold them here, but… are you on Jungkook’s bed? You look around and finally notice his efforts to build a nest around you, your purrs becoming audible, and then you slap a hand over your mouth in horror of yourself, only to be hit with another surge of pain at your refusal.

Jungkook looks at Jin for help, pleading silently to do something, his alpha knowing that something can be done even if he refuses to do it himself. Jin sighs, holding his breath before finally suggesting what his alpha has been nagging him to.

“Have you ever been scruffed?” - He asks, and you furrow your brows; of course you know what it is, but you aren’t aware of why he’s asking. Jungkook goes wide-eyed, knowing where Jin is going with this and looking at him in shock.

“Not since i was a child,” - You tell him, still confused on why thats relevant; you watch him hold his breath

“If its your omega causing the pain, which… i think it is… i could scruff you to settle it all” - He's referencing both the pain and your omega, and you think over it; you haven't been scruffed since you were a very young pup. No idea what it would do to your mind now, but you know he's right; it’s your omega causing the pain; that’s why you won’t see a doctor about it.

“With your teeth?” - You ask hesitantly. Seokjin goes bright red and laughs a little whilst Jungkook looks away, a small smile on his face.

“No-no- with my hands” - You breathe out in a little relief and think over it, considering declining, but your omega clearly doesn’t like that because once again, you tense up with another small surge of pain in warning, your omega telling you to let him scruff you, and so you take a deep breath and nod. It's hard to think about just why your omega is happy letting them see you so vulnerable when you're in constant pain. He looks a little surprised, having thought you’d decline after your silence.

“Is that okay?” - You ask Seokjin, not wanting him to do so if he is at all against it because it really is an intimate thing; only packs, families and mates scruff eachother…

“Yeah, if you want me to” - He gives you an encouraging smile, and you nod once again, telling him you want him too, and he lets out a huff, even more so when Jungkook reaches over, his hand leaving your back and brushing your hair off the back of your neck, fingertips grazing your neck and making you shiver. Anticipation has you gnawing at your lip, walking straight into the unknown, praying, trusting that this will help.

Seokjin puts one knee on the bed, just outside the ‘border’ of the nest, and asks you one more time if this is okay; you nod and bare your neck even more. He has to look away for a moment as his alpha tries to make him growl in approval. His fingers hover over your nape, then come down, pinching the sensitive skin there; you tense and gasp, and then he pulls, and you are boneless and limp for a moment, and he pulls off as soon as he’s sure.

Jungkook watches it happen with complete interest; his alpha is finally sated as you slowly blink, and a small smile settles over your face. You were only boneless for a moment before you sit up, a little shaky and a little wobbly, and two sets of hands shoot out to stabilise you, but you only giggle a little, eyes glossed over, grabbing one of each of their hands and tugging. You're a little giggly, dopey if there was a way to describe it, a little less present just somewhere in your mind that feels intoxicating, incredible.

Theres not a single ounce of pain in your body, a first in a long time but you also feel like a passenger in your own mind- its not bad its, really, really nice… When you’re scruffed, your omega comes to the front of your mind, guiding your every action, and your conscious brain gets to sit back and have everything that feels good and right come to you. It’s unfamiliar and you’ll surely regret atleast a bit of your shamefree, forward behaviour later but this is so much better than being in pain.

You're hazy and a bit incoherent, but you're persistent, tugging the two alphas towards you with a bit more force, and Seokjin has to stabilise himself with a knee on the bed, looking at you in shock and a bit of amusement, his alpha grumbling happily at you trying to get them closer.

“C’mere,” - You say, slurred because when your omega surfaces, theres very little chance of full, coherent sentences. Your omega is convinced these two alphas are supposed to be closer, supposed to also be within the comfortable edges of the bed, not in any sort of suggestive way- in a way you deem they should also be comfortable, that you trust them, to be close and feel they should relax, their scents still negative. You tug them just once more after you say it, and they oblige quickly, sitting at the edges of the ‘nest’ ah yes- the nest…

Not a second later your throwing yourself back and they flinch, going to stabilise you but you don’t need it; you’re fluffing the pillows and blankets around the headboard and then continuing all the way around, kind of just pushing them this way and that way to get where you need to be. You’re a bit clumsy, but there’s no denying that you’re precise, and when it’s all finished, you purr, loud and unfiltered.

The two alphas kind of just watch you, don’t care for how you are pushing them around, and are more just enthralled with your behaviour, smiles on their faces because you’re no longer in pain, and this… side of you settles something deep within them; if you were to ask them to jump right now, they’d just ask how high.

When you’re finished, you just lay back, relax and this time, you don’t curl up; in fact, you half lay on your side, but for the most part, you lay belly up and Jungkook can’t draw his eyes away, his hand twitching to protectively lay his hand there until Jin swats him, scolding him for his thought just by reading his eyes. You finally smell happy, sweeter than usual, a lot sweeter than usual, and they are both taking heaps of breaths in of your scent, and as you watch them do so, your hands clumsily find your neck; they lean in curious, and then you pull off the scent blocker patches and the ones on your wrist too, omega clearly not satisfied with the restriction. Jungkook goes stiff, and then he goes boneless, dropping down to lie at the bottom of the nest, lazily blinking and inhaling so deeply, holding onto his own clothes so that he doesn’t seek out the source of the scent yet again; it’s so hard though, but he keeps that little bit of lucidity, grips onto it. He feels drowsy, happy and drowsy, inhaling deeper and deeper and sinking further into that bliss.

Jin jolts, pupils dilating to the max just like Jungkook and you, and while he doesn’t go down like Jungkook, he does take a deep inhale and go stiff, chest erupting in grumbles. You look at them both, Jin sitting up, Jungkook lying down and giggling, happy with the effects of your scent, their own tensions leaving their shoulders, and then you feel sleepy, so so sleepy, stretching your body out, your feet nudging Jungkook's as he looks at you lazily and happily, a dopey, puppylike smile on his face and boba eyes. You’re happy and fluttering your scent around them to lull them into that same state; it draws Jungkook somewhere more instinctual, hence his actions.

Jin tries to catch his breath and then looks over at you two and spots an issue that needs to be resolved before you go to sleep. You and Jungkook are both wearing jeans, and as he gets up to confront that issue, you spark back awake, a frown settling on your face, and you whine so quietly he nearly drops down to lay in the nest as well, choking on his own breath, and Jungkook perks wide and alert as well.

“You both need to change before you sleep- jeans” - Seokjin points at both of your legs and you comply, easily sitting up and Jin gets up and out of the nest, much to your disapproval, rushing to Jungkook’s closet and picking out two soft pairs of pyjama bottoms. He guides you on wobbly legs into Jungkook’s bathroom to change and urges Jungkook to change quickly before you come back. He does, hardly getting up, throwing his jeans on the floor and throwing on the pyjama bottoms, sort of just rolling about after, flopped in the nest and breathing in your scent deep whilst Seokjin shakes his head at his clouded alphaspace behaviour.

In the bathroom you stumble about, clumsily shifting off your jeans and breathing in relief when they are off, then you feel something brush against your breast and realise- oh-—your bra is unclasped. To your defence, you do try to reclasp, but after a few huffing attempts, you clumsily unthread it from the shirt completely foregoing it; the shirts thick anyway and you'll bundle under blankets too.

You do bring the trousers up to your nose in your own company- not that your omega would have minded having company whilst you shamelessly inhaled Jungkook's scent; his room is so full of him it's overwhelming in the best possible way. Holding them out, the legs are far too long for you and against your better - conscious - judgement, you - your omega - decides to just forego these well. You’ll be under a blanket anyway and the shirt is more like a dress ending near your knees, you worry you would simply trip in the trousers.

Thats how you stumble out, your jeans: bra hidden within them because at least your omega respected your sanity enough to do that, and the pajama pants in your hands, placing them gently by the bed and then darting into the nest before Seokjin can process anything-

Jungkook isn’t much help either as he happily grumbles and rubs his wrists and head all over the blankets around him, drowning in your scent mixed with his while you get comfortable and then just flop, throwing a blanket over Jungkook before yourself, kind of kicking it into place with a giggle, hitting his shin and ankle a bit clumsily, but he doesn’t mind one bit and then throwing one over yourself too, and within seconds you’re out, your body in complete relaxation.

It was a mere 10 minutes from you being scruffed to you being completely out, and Seokjin kind of just had to sit back in shock, turning towards Jungkook to say, Let's go now, but to his dismay, he was also fast asleep. In fact, when Seokjin approaches, his lips lift in a soundless snarl and his hand reaches out, holding your ankle, palm over the scent gland there protectively even in his sleep. You purr so loud at the contact that it shocks Jin out of his blatant disbelief and staring

The door slowly opens behind him, 5 heads comedically peaking through and Jin quickly urges them not to make any noise, the only noises in the room being your purrs and Jungkook’s grumbling; the scent nearly knocks the five of them out, kind of all piled on top of each other to get a peak before they stumble in.

Initially, they are filled with pure concern, scared they will come in and you’ll still be curled up in pain but thats… not what they find…

You have fluffed up all the edges of the bed and all its nesting materials to make a sweet nest, pulled a blanket over yourself, and are sleeping with only Yoongi’s shirt - not that they know that exact detail - and a happy smile on your lips, and Jungkook is slowly curling closer and closer around your body. You began in kind of an upside-down T position, Jungkook sideways along the bottom of the bed, but now he has moved and you are in more of a J position, Jungkook bent in half and curled around your ankles, not that you mind; the more contact you have, the louder your purrs get.

The 5 new additions stand in pure shock, mouths agape at the turn in events and turn to Seokjin questioningly: What kind of magic did he work…

“I scruffed her, and she took off her scent blockers, and then Jungkook… ” - He references Jungkook holding onto your ankles protectively, rubbing his neck against them, and scenting you in your sleep whilst you smile and slightly wiggle, his hairs ticklish but never pulling away.

The boys look at Jin incredulously; Jimin and Yoongi go to take a step even closer, and Jin shoots his arms out, stopping them.

“She might pull you in and then wake up with alphas she didnt consciously invite in with her-” - They stop dead in their tracks because, as much as the idea of you inviting them into your nest is absolutely incredible, not when you're asleep.

They take a few more moments to look before Taehyung yawns, suddenly feeling tired, alongside the others, slowly realising your pheromones are easing them into a sleepier, more relaxed state, so they quietly vacate the room to talk.

All spread out on the couches in the living room, they try to wake themselves up a little, turning to Jin for a full explanation.

“To put it simply, i think her omega is fighting the workload she puts on herself.” They all frown, borderline growling and snarling at the thought of you being in that kind of state because of your body being overworked, a concept they are highly familiar with, and highly familiar with the consequences but they can’t even imagine the consequences for an omega… Well they kind of can now, seeing it firsthand.

“I didn’t even get the story of what happened; Jungkook wasn’t exactly… present but she was in a lot of pain, skin irritated all over her back and, im guessing, extreme internal pains but the more she listened to her instincts, or the more her omega came to surface, should i say, the less pain she was in so i asked her if she wanted me to scruff her… thats what happened after.” - Jin references back to Jungkook’s room

“What about tomorrow?” - Yoongi asks knowing you wouldn't happily give up your schedule, wouldn't listen to their advice to rest a little usually. Aside from that he's not able to push out the image of you in his shirt, a little sense of pride and satisfaction settling in, alpha convinced it's helping you to have his scent and clothes.

“I told her she can’t go in tomorrow; she’s not happy about it but…”

“But has she told anyone?” - Namjoon knows you arent the only one who works there but you run the place and do the baking so…

“Maybe we should wake her up now to tell someone and then let her go back to sleep” - Jimin suggests, the rest of them agreeing.

They know you'll probably be distressed and you can't just not say anything to anyone and not show up to work, they've met your friends, your co-workers, and have seen your friendship, know you're close.

Taehyung and Jimin agree to be the ones to do it, going into Jungkook's room and slowly approaching, but Taehyung suggests they wake up Jungkook to wake you up rather than you having two alphas who weren't originally there waking you up.

“Jungkook…” - Taehyung shakes Jungkook, watching his face contort and then slowly open his eyes

“Kookie can you wake her up…” - Jimin asks, nodding towards you, Jungkook just closes his eyes, wraps his arms tighter around your ankles

“No.” - Firm and certain, Jungkook blatantly refuses, or rather, his alpha refuses

“But we need to-” - Taehyung tries to reason, getting a little hazy at being so close to your full scent

“Dont care” - Is all Jungkook says back, practically shooing them away. Possessive and bossy alphas, am I right? Much to their dismay, you open your eyes and stare at them in confusion, sitting up a little.

“What do you need to do?” - You ask, sleepy and still half-asleep, still half omega-driven.

“We thought you’d need to let people know about tomorrow…” - Jimin tries gently, not wanting you to get upset or fully wake up, but with your omega still leading your actions, you blindly reach for your phone, feeling around next to the bed and coming out of the blanket to do so, Jungkook trying to hold onto you still and the mids of your thighs now on display momentarily, Tae and Jimin’s breaths catching in their throats, looking away quickly.

You send a cryptic message to the girls, simple and blunt, that you’re sick and can’t be in tomorrow; there’s bakes already finished for tomorrow, and since you were planned to be in the back tomorrow anyway, it doesn’t really matter. You'd definitely think of it so simply and easily if you weren't - luckily - still lead by your omega because you'd fret and worry and panic yourself over and over about every last detail if you werent. You send it and then drop your phone again, shuffling back down and pulling the blanket high over you, nuzzling into the softness and opening your eyes again.

A little smile settles on your face, and you reach your hands out towards them, urging them closer and then tugging them in, just as you did with Jungkook and Seokjin. The second their knees hit the border of the nest, you’re asleep again, shuffling your ankles back into Jungkook’s hold.

“What do we do…” - Taehyung whispers to Jimin, stuck between getting in and leaving, remembering Jin’s words earlier.

They both desperately want to accept your invite but… they don’t want to overwhelm you when your back in your conscious mind. Jungkook isn’t leaving anytime soon but whilst they still hold onto their sanity, they slowly back away, satisfied with you having texted your friends and retreating back to the living room

Rather than confirming that they sorted it, Jimin blurts the first thing on his mind, cheeks hotter than the sun.

“She hasnt got trousers on hyung!?-” - They all turn to Jin at Jimin’s outburst, and he brushes him off, saying, You clearly didn’t want them on, and you’re bundled in blankets and Yoongi’s t-shirt; they are next to the bed if you’d like them on, but he can’t force them on you. He’s red-cheeked by the end of his rant, and they all kind of look at him and laugh a little.

“This is not how i expected the first time her being in our house would be like.” - Hoseok groans out, not happy that you came here upset and in pain.

“Well... at least Jungkook’s not exactly avoiding her anymore is he…” - Taehyung adds, trying to find a positive in the negative.

“God, she really needs to put less work on herself; I’m certain she’s been scolded for it multiple times” - Yoongi stresses, rubbing his hand over his face in worry.

“We can speak to her about it tomorrow if she’s feeling better.” - Namjoon reasons, looking at the time, 10pm.

Throughout the night, each one of them individually goes to just peek in and check on you both, but you’re out like a light, deep sleeping and hardly moving, neither of you, besides Jungkook silently snarling every time someone comes in the room.

The following morning, they continue, just checking in on you both every now and then, but the hours roll by—7am, then 9am, then 11am and neither of you even stir.

Some of the pack had to leave for their tasks; some stayed to keep an eye on you both and be there when you wake up. It’s surreal that you’re in their pack home, fast asleep, but it feels so right; even if you weren’t originally there for any positive reason, you are sleeping soundly now, and that eases something in all of their brains.

You begin to rise at 12:30ish, your shuffling urging Jungkook to slowly wake up too; you’re both a little hazy when you wake, slowly sitting up and sitting in silence, drowsy and rubbing over your faces and hair, not really processing the position you’re both in right now.

You feel… so much better. Finally, as if you’ve rested - which you have, 14 pushing 15 hours of straight sleep. And you’re not in your room- no it’s far too big to be your room, but you are in a nest that smells an awful lot like you and fresh laundry and spring rain. And of course the fact that Jungkook is rising from sleep too at the end of the bed… wait- Jungkook is also waking up-

You’re in his room- in a nest you kind of both made on his bed after he carried you up and took care of you when you were in pain and then Jin scruffed you and you dragged him into the nest and you both fell asleep- Oh my god…

You go from blankly staring and rubbing your eyes to staring at Jungkook wide-eyed; he’s still in a little bit of a haze from nuzzling at the scent gland near your ankles the entire night and morning, just like you were with nuzzling into his sheets and scented blankets and Yoongi’s shirt- YOONGI’S SHIRT-

Suddenly, you aren’t the only one staring wide eyed, Jungkook’s staring right back at you with the same expression and he gets to the words before you, looking down at the nest and how he’s in it and then-

“I am… so sorry!--” - He grumbles out, voice raspy with sleep and borderline about to jump out off of his own bed in fear that he’s upset you but he hasn’t- he really hasn’t hes done more than you would of ever asked for in a million years-

“Why are you sorry?! I'm sorry!” - You squeeze your eyes shut momentarily, looking around and gesturing to yourself, the nest and his room.

You kind of have a battle of apologies, neither of you moving a single bit though, just sitting up staring at each other, so well rested it’s blissful, half-shouting at each other back and forth over and over with messy bed hair, there are slowly smiles rising on both of your faces even if you are pretty much arguing away.

Through both of your shouting you didn’t hear footsteps pounding down the hallway, but you do hear the slamming of Jungkook’s door opening, startling you both and you jumped a little in his direction; he jumped in yours and within a moment grabs you in his arms and drags you towards him protectively, eliciting a small yelp from you, but you don’t protest; his arms are strong… Both of you stare at the culprit in the door.

Yoongi.

He goes from frantic and alert to relaxing, leaning against the doorframe with a smirk when he realises you aren’t trying to kill each other; in fact, you’re looking pretty cosy wrapped in Jungkook’s arms. You relax when you see who it is, and then tense again, looking down at yourself and seeing Yoongi’s shirt- on your body- and pretty much only that-

Much to Jungkook’s alpha’s approval, you don’t immediately try to scramble out of his arms; in fact, you kind of lean back into his warmth. It makes sense; the house runs colder since they all run hotter unlike you.

“Thought you guys were arguing” - Yoongi says with a sly smirk, looking you up and down as if assessing your situation.

Both you and Jungkook scramble to reply, denying? Agreeing? You don’t really know.

You grow a deep shade of red over your cheeks, so does Jungkook and you slowly- reluctantly- detangle yourself, sitting side by side rather than borderline on his lap. Nope, don’t even think about that.

“Sleep well?” - Yoongi asks, not really teasing now, genuinely concerned, but you don’t look to be in any pain. It only fuels the blush on your cheeks as you once again intake your current situation, nodding a little and refusing to meet his eyes.

“And you?” - Yoongi asks Jungkook, now hes definitely teasing, Jungkook half-glares half-blushes and also nods.

“Jin had to go today, he had a meeting scheduled for 1 so he literally just left but… are you feeling any better Y/n?” - Hold on. Left just now for a meeting at 1?

“He just left? What time is it?” - You ask, looking around for a clock but why would Jungkook even have a clock- in his room… in his BEDROOM.

“12:45” - The way both you and Jungkook’s eyes bulge out of your heads is comedic, looking at eachother in shock… You have quite literally never slept anywhere near so long since well before you opened the cafe- a long long time before and Jungkook doesn’t think he’s slept this long in- well… ever. You forget to answer for a moment and then remember Yoongi’s question and turn back to him, rubbing your arm nervously.

“I feel a lot better, i don’t know what happened im sorry” - Suddenly feeling shame over everything that went on, Yoongi rushes over and Jungkook protests your words besides him, once again telling you to stop being sorry

“Y/n, you shouldn’t be sorry, we’re glad Jungkook was able to bring you here rather than that happen and probably still be happening if you were alone, we’re happy your here” - The pain in his voice shows how much he cares and you slump, accepting the reality of yeah, you don’t know what you would of done if that pain had hit you when it did and Jungkook wasn’t there. You didn’t take his last sentence into account at first.

“You two need to eat in a minute, come out when your ready” - Is the last thing Yoongi says before leaving you and Jungkook alone again, shifting in your spot and then turning to him.

“Thank you for taking care of me”

“Thank you for letting me in your nest”

“Thank you for letting me make a nest”

“Well, thank you for-” - He cuts himself off when theres a bright smile on your face, one taking over his own too and your impending battle of thank you’s fizzles into giggles, your hands subconsciously kneading into the blankets around you, comfortable.

“Can i- see your back?” - Jungkook hesitates but he can’t shake off the worry, can’t shake off his alpha hounding at him to make sure you’re really okay. You nod and then freeze, grabbing one of the blankets that had been wrapped around one of you to sleep - Jungkooks.

You wrap it quickly around your waist, covering your entire legs and lowest point of your back because of course you’d decided not to wear the pyjama pants- you curse your omega for it of course, ignored. Jungkook blushes when he realises what you were doing and then you untuck the shirt so that he can lift it, quickly getting to what he said and freezing, holding the shirt up because-

“They’re gone…” - You frown in confusion, not pulling away when Jungkook gently swipes his finger over your spine to check for heat or irritation like there was last night but theres none, erased as if they never existed. You’re certain Jin’s cream can’t have been magic but…

“Not even one patch?” - You try to feel the back of your neck where you tend to get them most, it’s not painful but you do jump because its sensitive, a whole lot more sensitive than usual and Jungkook worries instantly.

“Does it hurt?-” - He frets, hand hovering your nape just in case but you twitch just from the heat radiating off of his hand alone

“Nope!- Uh, not painful!” - You get out, sounding entirely unconvincing and Jungkook glares at the spot from behind you and then remembers you got scruffed; it's probably- oh.

“Theres no patches anywhere.” - You’ll confirm his words when you’re in the bathroom later but for now you want to test something, straightening your back and lifting your arms over your head, stretching and your bones pop a little but- no pain, not even a single bit… Thats- impossible surely.

“Hurts?” - Jungkook asks, hesitant but you turn to him with a bright smile and stars in your eyes, shaking your head happily and he feels accomplished- his alpha trying to convince him it was his own doing

All of his hesitance- well, a good chunk of it atleast- seems to have disintegrated, an unfamiliar barrier removed between him and his counterpart and it feels, freeing? Right?

Suddenly, you feel a spurt of energy, this newfound lack of pain kind of pushing you to get up and jump about and maybe run down the hallway, your omega likes that idea, pushing you to get up and run and see if Jungkook chases you- wait- ignore that thought.

You stand first, stretching your legs and not planning to leave the room without putting some pants on first but then you look at the nest you- and jungkook- built on his bed and blush, heavily, rushing back towards the bed and about to begin to deconstruct it

“Ah- i’ll clean this up-” - Your actions are cut off by Jungkooks plea

“Wait! Don’t, please-” - He can feel his cheeks absolutely burning with embarrassment at his pushy plea for you to leave the nest but you freeze, slowly take a step back and nod after simply neatening up the blankets a little, fluffing it up a bit- Jungkook’s alpha sees it as you preparing if yet again for you or maybe even for him too and he blushes even heavier at that, clearing his throat

“Is that- is it okay?” - He asks and he really is unaware of the way your hearts pounding against your chest, holding back heavy purrs from his acceptance of your nest- atleast thats the way your omega sees it.

“Mhm-” - You barely squeak out before turning on your feet, grabbing the pile of clothes you had put on the floor the night before and gesturing that your going to quickly run in the bathroom, he nods, waiting for you outside.

On the top of the pile is your phone, a whole bunch of messages from the girls assuring you it’s okay and that you need to call them if you need anything and to get better soon. You send a quick reply, assuring them you’re okay and that you’ll speak to them soon about it.

After that- time to put on some trousers- you opt for the pyjama ones that your omega couldn’t justify rolling up so many times last night but you can do it now, rolling them just twice and thinking it’s fine because you don’t want to take too long even if they are still long enough to hook under your feet and trip you- you also put on your bra quickly, just your jeans left to set down somewhere.

Jungkook’s put on a hoodie over his t-shirt or maybe instead of his t-shirt you can’t really tell but he kept the pyjama pants on still, now realising they are kind of matching. Jungkook has a habit of collecting multiple of the same clothes or in very similar styles.

He looks over your form with a smile and then his alpha spots a hazard- or thats what he’d call it amongst other words and before his brain can catch up with his body, he’s kneeling infront of you and rolling the hem of the trousers a few more times so that they sit comfortably at your ankles- which he had scented throughout the night he was just reminded of-

You’re blushing when he stands, a little purry, hidden behind a clearing of your throat and neither of you meet the others eyes.

“Are you warm enough?” - He worries, your back was quite cold in his opinion when he had touched it earlier but you just nod, not wanting to push anyone to care for you more than they already have.

You both make your way out, you following Jungkook’s lead, taking in the decor of the apartment and particularly eyeing the multitude of pillows and blankets littered across the living room area and to your delight- not that your picking but still- their living room and kitchen is open plan- just like yours. And something smells delicious-

Yoongi’s in the kitchen, his back to you two, cooking something that also smells pretty delicious. You don’t quite know where to place yourself- the kitchen is usually your home but this isnt your home so you stand kind of awkwardly when someone walks up behind you and gently places a hand on your back, pushing you towards a chair. You jump, spinning to find a grinning Jimin, and he once again nudges you towards a chair on the kitchen island, find of getting back at you for all the pushing you were doing to him at your apartment. You follow, not quite knowing what else you would do with yourself and Jungkook asks what you’d like to drink, listing out a whole bunch of things, so much so that you don’t catch it all, it’s almost robotic actually.

Your reply is cut off by a cold glass of a dark reddish-pink juice being placed infront of you, is that-

“Pomegranate juice” - Namjoon says from behind you. You light up, body going rigid, and then your legs kicking in delight, a bright smile on your cheeks. He remembered- of course he did; it's Namjoon. You don’t want to assume he sought out the juice for you, but you do know it’s a niche fruit juice to pick, so maybe you get your hopes up a little bit.

You’re so happy that you spin in your seat and practically launch yourself at Namjoon- maybe your still in a bit of a haze after all of their scents have been around you and sleeping in Jungkooks room but… You don’t jump out of the seat to do it but nearly, sitting on the edge of the seat and wrapping your arms around the alpha’s neck, his surprise quickly transforms into bliss, wrapping his own arms around your waist, careful not to put much pressure in case it still hurts.

Namjoon’s very far from the touchiest member of the group, he hardly ever initiates it, but he thinks that will change with you in their lives now- as far as you already are in their lives he means... When you pull back, you feel a little embarrassed at how you’d thrown yourself onto him but the blush on his face and those dimples is absolutely worth it, muttering a thank you to him, and he brushes it off, sitting next to you with a coffee while Jungkook settles down with one too, his iced.

“Don’t think i’ve ever seen Yoongi run so fast you know, what were you two shouting about?” - Jimin teases, sitting at the end of the table whilst you and Jungkook sit opposite in silence, sipping at your drinks and avoiding. Yoongi briefly grumbles about Jimin’s dig at him but its kind of swallowed by the thick silence sat between you three as Jimin waits for a reply he is simply not going to get. What happened in Jungkook’s bedroom stays in Jungkooks bedroom- wait- uh…

“Y/n do you like Japchae?” - Yoongi asks, a saviour in the heavy silence. You tell him you do, and they all fall into brief conversation. You kind of feel out of place, as if your intruding; of course you do-

That imposing feeling is the reason for you kind of awkwardly just looking down at your own feet and wiggling them as if they are the most interesting thing in the world, swirling your pomegranate juice like its whiskey- just as delicate as whiskey to you anyway. Why did you choose to wear mismatched Pokémon socks of all things- charmander and squirtle staring up at you, you can hear charmanders scream and practically see the scene of their battle in your head… why do you want to recreate it with your feet- Hm, maybe you should, just-

“What are you smiling about?” - Namjoon asks following your gaze and then breaking out in a smile of his own, similar to the one you hadn’t noticed on your own face. He’s just about to comment- you can see it until you glare right back, your expression saying dont you dare, even if your socks are open for anyone to see… He hides his smile behind his hand and nods, keeping his amusement to himself.

You wonder how the girls are doing at the cafe on their own, maybe you should check and see if they need your help… yeah… nope apparently not because the moment you try to sneakily take your phone out like a kid in the back of class, Yoongi’s that one teacher with eyes in the back of his head.

“Put it down.” - You kind of gape at him- for starters you are not a dog and also how did he even know?! Then you see the reflection in the stained glass above the oven, betrayal, truly.

Sinking into yourself is all you can really do when the other three turn to you and catch on to what you were going to do; your phone slowly going back into your pocket, you’ll just check it when you leave- probably soon, has to be soon; you can’t intrude anymore.

Jungkook is glaring at your phone like it just ate his last twinkie, and you can hardly understand why- well maybe you can, but you’d rather not admit it, you know, your pride and all.

“Do you cook a lot, Y/n?” - Yoongi asks with his eyes still on the japchae he’s tossing. Two of the people at the counter already know the answer to this one, so much so that you can’t even get a word in before they answer for you.

“She doesn’t like the cleanup,” - Jimin calls out, without a single change in his tone, like it’s been deeply embedded in his brain for years

“So is that a no?” - Yoongi looks at you questionably through the reflection of the glass and you nod firmly, he doesn’t judge, a little surprise on his face though. Somehow, a few moments later Namjoon finds it in his mind to either make this into a competition of who knows the most about you or just finds it fun to blurt out random facts.

“In an ideal world, she wants a balcony.” - Says it over the edge of his book like it’s nothing and then Jungkook perks up, never one to lose a competition. It’s not relevant at all, Namjoon nor Jungkooks comments but they still say it, as if reading out from the texts in their mind.

“She only ever gets the exact same ramen and gimbap everytime she goes to the store even if she spends 10 minutes looking over all the options” - He clearly feels satisfied when no one retorts back at his words but you on the other hand- shocked. Are they just good listeners and really observant or do you just talk too much… It definitely doesn’t make you feel a bit giddy that they remember things like that though- absolutely not…

“You know, we have a balcony but we don’t really use it” - Yoongi cuts off their battle of who knows you best just to push on that one fact about the balcony. He can see you perk up, looking around as if a celebrity has just waltzed in- even if you are in a room with 4 of them, this new celebrity being a beloved balcony. Namjoon just hums in agreement, Jimin points to a door on the other side of the livingroom.

“Aish you should use it more- so lucky” - You gush, shaking your head in disapproval, taking another sip of your juice

“You should use it for us, i don’t think we ever go out there” - Jimin continues, you laugh it off but they just continue.

“Ah yeah, you’d make it all pretty out there too; we’d probably use it more then.” - Namjoon adds on, He’s speaking the truth; if it was nicely decorated, he’d definitely read out there; the view is incredible, but it feels just dark and empty out there.

“We should make a deal: Y/n becomes our designer for the balcony, and in return she has full access to it 24/7” - Jimin nods firmly, agreeing with his own proposition, and Jungkook has been ooing and ahing to all of their back-and-forths about said balcony, taking this whole deal seriously unlike you, and standing up suddenly, expecting you to follow. He looks a bit childish, kind of waddling rather than walking, and his hair spikes in every direction possible, not having brushed it after the sleep. Turning back to you, he gestures for you to get up and go.

You do, just curious as to what space they are wasting outside- purely curiosity you tell yourself and to say you’re impressed with the view and heavily disappointed with them is an understatement. Jungkook stands at the door when you go from a normal walk outside to rushing to the barrier, leaning over and taking it all in because the view is- incredible isn’t even the right word; you can hardly imagine what it’s like at night, but you see why they don’t use it; there’s not even a chair out here. Oh, what you’d do with a space like this- some plants here, different types of chairs and couches there, oh- a fire pit there, maybe an electric one if they can’t have a real one but it absolutely has to be a dark bronze-

Jungkook can see the stars in your eyes as you look around it all, pretty much dancing around the space as you take in the view from every angle, parading down the barrier on each side. You’re calculating where things could- should go, then you turn to him accusingly

“Yah- why don’t you guys use this!” - You’re clearly passionate on the subject, waving your hands around to gesture wildly. He listens as you go to each corner, pointing at different things you spot and giving all your reasons on why you think they’re silly for not taking the opportunity to. You turn around after a few minutes of you not getting a single reply to your endless reasoning and then stand a little frozen, a little confused because Jungkook’s just smiling, not with teeth, as if it’s funny, not as if he’s making fun of you, just smiling, admiring.

It knocks the rest of the reasons you had right out of your brain, a little dumbfounded with his staring. You don’t think you’ve been this passionate about something other than the cafe since, well, a long time before the cafe- you love it; it’s your dream come true, but it did become your entire life. Maybe you should try to find some kind of way to have more time to yourself. Yoga looks fun.

You laugh at your own thought, and Jungkook joins in, just finding your laugh contagious.

“Really, you should decorate it and come back to use it” - Jungkook gets out, avoiding your eyes as he says the last bit; maybe he does want you here more, more than he can quite accept at this moment.

“I might have too if you all keep neglecting it like this” - You retort, once again laughing off his words, hardly taking them seriously, and he can see you raring up to scold everyone else in the kitchen for their ignoring of the balcony you deem so amazing. Jungkook wants to tell you he's serious, that you really should, but he's cut off by Yoongi calling out for you both to come and eat. It’ll have to wait.

Sitting back down at the table after Yoongi has sat and already set everything out, your juice appears to have magically refilled itself, and when you take in the look and smell of it all, you nearly melt into a puddle right there in the middle of the kitchen. You haven’t had anything truly homely in a long time. While you make an effort to avoid eating instant ramen every day, that doesn’t mean that the meals you do prepare are especially tasty or well-planned; instead, they are typically just simplified versions of meals because you lack the energy to put in the work. On Fridays you have a nice dinner, but it isn’t a home-cooked meal.

That's probably why it feels oddly relaxing, comforting to have something really cooked for you, a real meal; it tastes 10x more delicious this way too. Yoongi set out a variety of side dishes, probably ones they always have on hand like kimchi, and even cooked up some bulgogi. How he prepared everything is a mystery to you, alongside not liking the cleanup; you aren't great at multitasking with savoury food- hence your meals tending to be deconstructed and a little all over the place.

The smell is mouthwatering; there's a bowl and chopsticks already in front of you, and as soon as everyone is seated, they begin dishing up what they want. You can hardly process it before Jimin deposits a large amount of japchae into your bowl- too much for you to eat, you're guessing—and then, like clockwork, each of them just puts different sides into your bowl whilst doing their own before you have a chance.

Something you quickly realise is that they are an equally lively and calm bunch; you’re excited before you even take a bite because Jungkook takes one mouthful and starts physically jumping up and down while he chews, an angry sort of look on his face before diving in for yet another bite. Namjoon makes loud happy noises, and Yoongi just kind of eats with silent nods of approval, Jimin too, making a little conversation here and there.

The first bite is heavenly, so is the second, and the third; you still won’t finish the entire bowl because they overload it as if they are feeding three of you, but you think you’ll get damn close. Maybe everyone has their own way of eating good food because yours is to look at it wide-eyed and tap your feet against the kitchen island where they swing back and forth, tapping quite rapidly with small nods of your head. You gush your approval over the food more than once, so much that you don’t even notice Yoongi’s cheeks getting progressively pinker with each one, too entranced with the flavours exploding in your mouth.

This is domestic, feels natural and Namjoon is watching the tapping of your feet against the counter with amusement, never ceasing the entirety of the meal. It feels right.

You wait until the end of the meal to get back to the point of you being here in the first place. Sure, you’d apologised to Jungkook and Yoongi but you don’t know who was here, who was fretting over you; your omega is unusually quiet and calm, happy today though; recently she’s been nagging at you a lot, but now just- quiet acceptance after the whole scuffing and sleep thing.

Much to your dismay, you can’t even get a word in yet before Yoongi’s scolding you.

“Aish don’t do that” - He says, pointing at you with his chopsticks. You freeze, offence written all over your face

“Do what?” - Your apology is momentarily forgotten in this new moment of Yoongi telling you off

“I already said, don’t apologise.” - He shakes his head and the other three agree, voices all on top of one another.

“I didnt.” - You press, eyebrows raised as if they’re trying to touch your hairline, caught red handed

“You were going to” - He gives you the ‘don’t even try to lie’ look and you deflate, huffing out and bouncing your knee up and down to hold back the urge to apologise. That is until Namjoon puts his hand on your knee and stops its bouncing physically, just pressing down and then letting go. You’re thoroughly stunned enough to listen, and it also kind of takes away from your strong desire to apologise even if only momentarily. He isn’t doing it out of annoyance; the touch is soft. He rubs his thumb over your knee the briefest amount just once; it’s reassurance, a stop to your anxiety.

Jimin has to leave shortly after, just the three men and you are left; apparently, those three just have to write some songs and can do it in their own time so they don’t have to be in the studio today.

“I don’t think you should go home just yet Y/n” - Namjoon says without hesitation once you’ve all moved onto the couches, well, more just like you, Yoongi and Namjoon because Jungkook went to shower and change. You furrow your brows, eager to get out of their hair but not to get away.

“Why not?” - Yoongi just raises his eyebrow at you, a dead silent ‘are you serious?’ at your reply

“You’re going to throw yourself right back into work, trust me, we get it, but it’s not healthy” - Namjoon stresses, using his hands to exaggerate, and you can see the conflict on his face, but you can only sigh, leaning on your hand as you think back; the rest clearly did your body good, and maybe glimpses of a life less led by one thing is what’s making you feel a little warmer. Physically, it’s clearly helped, but mentally, it’s a struggle to walk away from putting as much effort and time in as you do.

“What he’s trying to say is; you’re body is fighting you Y/n, you can’t do this again” - Yoongi adds, blunt, but there’s a hint of raw emotion underneath. You pull the pillow by you a little closer in comfort because it doesn’t feel good to be scolded; of course it doesn’t, but you don’t know what to say.

“Just… stay, for today?” - Namjoon asks, practically pleads and you think it over; you’ve already stayed the night now- whats a few more hours if it makes them happier…

“Okay, I’ll stay for a while” - You nod, confirming and they both let out a sigh of relief, but now what do you do?

Inside Jungkook’s room, said man is kind of battling with himself, staring at his bed heavily conflicted as his body twitches to jump right back into the nest but his logical brain is saying: you’ve slept for 15 hours and you’ll sleep another 15 if you get in- you can’t do that.

Alongside that, he’s just got out the shower, in fresh clothes and he feels he should certainly become reaccustomed to the scent covering his bed… right? Especially when it smells so sweet in comparison to how you smelt last night originally, he likes this version.

“Kook.” - He spins, wide-eyed and caught red-handed, taking a jump back as if this isnt his own room to you and Yoongi at the door, his hyung looking all too smug.

“How long have you been standing there?” - He teases, Jungkook stutters over his reply, eyes darting between the bed and you both at the door before Yoongi gives up, taking his leave but you stay. Having been watching for a few minutes as he bit at his lips and stared so heavily at the nest.

“It is your room Jungkook, you can take it apart if you’d like” - You say, even if the words cause a pang to your heart and an internal whine from your omega, you don’t forget Jungkooks protest to you doing it earlier though and when he gives the same reaction, half-panciked at your suggestion

“No! No thats not-” - You’ve just noticed he has a little lisp, its cute, one of those things that you notice about each of these alphas that makes them more and more endearing, like Namjoon’s clumsiness. Then you catch on, or atleast kind of, you think so and your mouth works before your brain

“Then in that case, you know you can get in it too- right?” - As the words come out you kind of want to slap a hand over your head, why just why did you squark that out!?- Despite your own conflict, Jungkook’s eyes brighten and in an instant, like a puppy waiting for the ‘go ahead’ for his food, he’s bouncing right into the middle, splaying out across it but somehow not really moving a single thing out of it’s original place. It fills you with a sense of pride, you try to ignore how he has a face full of your scent, referring more to his comfortability when you ask

“Nice?” - Tilting your head with a big smile, Jungkook doesn’t even lift his head to answer, words muffled

“The best” - Oh- Now that makes you blush. You laugh a little awkwardly, not used to all these new things like having someone admire- desire- your nest and appreciate it other than you, it’s different to the one at home, some would argue it’s more intimate being in his bed rather than your own.

Rather than awkwardly standing at the door, you just walk over and sit on the edge, fingers twitching to reach out and run your hands through his wet hair, resisting and refocusing when he turns onto his side, staring at you, more like staring at your back, pursing his lips and frowning a little even if his eyes are dilated to the max and he feels blissful.

Moments later he’s holding out his pinky towards you, you stare at it for a second, confused, then melting at his words. You don’t think you’ve ever felt more appreciated than you have in the last 24 hours with them, never more cared for, more heard and doted over and your heart races, a little frown setting over your own face at the puppy-like look on Jungkook’s face, from the time you’ve known him, he’s always seemed kind of unsure, right now, he’s sure, sure in his care, in his worries.

“Promise you’ll try to listen to your body more.” - He waits, a childish gesture, but at this moment, it hardly feels invaluable; in fact, it seems to hold a whole lot more than just a curl of your pinkies. You let out a shaky breath before reaching your own out, intertwining it, fingers fitting around each others perfectly, his larger, a small tattoo at the base of his knuckle, and you stay like that longer than you both know is necessary.

“Promise”

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Don’t ask any of the three men how they ended up here. They haven’t got a clue but what they do know is you sure can get bossy. They aren’t complaining- you’d like to say your precise and know what will look good rather than bossy.

They’d revealed in passing that they have a room filled with trinkets and furniture that they aren’t quite sure what to do with, and you’d stared at them in pure disbelief, refocusing on that balcony. Demanding to see said room was the first thing, and now where are they? Going back and forth, bringing things this way and that way according to your instructions.

The room was like a jackpot, filled with all sorts of pieces that had your eyes shining with ideas, with inspiration and while the three only saw a jumble of different things, you have a vision.

“So that balcony…” - You say, dragging out your words slyly and turning to them with your eyes shining bright, a silent question as you look between the contents of the room and them- who are they to say no?

If you’re going to spend the day here, not working, you might as well make yourself half-useful and help them make use of a space so so precious. The storage room goes from jumbled chaos to just having a few leftover pieces that didn’t quite make it into the final design, now that its pretty much empty you can notice the amazing natural light, it would make a great sunbathing room for a cat.

Anything particularly heavy - such as the large faux leather chair you’d dedicated to one particular corner—was assigned to Jungkook, who complained that his hyungs were perfectly capable of carrying them too; they did but anything they could went to Jungkook. Jungkook and Namjoon had already proved their strength over a month ago in the cafe- lifting the chairs so you have no doubt that they have the ability and Yoongi doesn’t make so much as a single grunt lifting things either, a very good bunch.

An XL outdoor rug, a leather chair, a large sofa-type thing, a wooden table and various small pieces and trinkets were brought out.

The boys simply did the heavy stuff, and without complaint. You would have done it yourself, but hey, what's the point when there are three muscled men there who could do it and argued to do it rather than you anyway? Simply saving yourself a job. You’re as independent as they come but what’s indulging once in a while anyway?

In the span of the time taken to bring it all out and place it where you want, you’ve made yourself a little more accustomed to their kitchen in between your instructions, making the hard-working boys a round of lemonade and fruit-filled smoothies. You can’t let them get dehydrated when they’re doing all the heavy lifting for you, each round being gulped down in seconds by the men.

The summer heat seems to be creeping up today, it’s manageable inside where it’s air-conditioned but with the three lifting and carrying and going back and forth outside, they end up pretty sweaty- determined- but sweaty and you have to force them to take a break after every few pieces. That does come with the rules of the break though- You shooed them away from the couches indoors because they were not getting them sweaty as if it was your own house and instead pushed them to the kitchen stools.

They don’t take their shirts off, but they might as fucking well- lifting them up to wipe their heads every two minutes, having to dart your eyes away because your omega- and you (don’t lie and say you dont) like that a bit too much. I will note what you notice though… Jungkook is built with a small waist and a full set of abs, not the kind that look like rocks, the kind that make you want to bite them. Namjoon has less defined abs, so visibly there but he’s like… thick in the best way- Like an effortless kind of fit. Once again, you’d definitely want to bite them. Unfortunately, you don’t get to see even a peak of Yoongi’s stomach- you think it would also be very biteable; there seems to be a pattern here… moving on.

What’s wrong with appreciating the view in front of you right?- Doesn’t mean anything- you can say someone’s attractive without it meaning too much more right?!- Okay enough-

When they are done, they’re all panting, and you push them onto the now outdoor couch, they can rest now while you begin your own part. Fairy lights and lanterns first. They had a box with a good variety and you best believe you’d tried out each and every set to find the warmest lighting and only picked those ones.

You’re going to hang the lanterns along the wall and weave the fairylights pretty much everywhere- you can already see how it’ll end up and its perfect-

The lights wont drape anywhere too close to the plants, you’ll make sre they have just enough distance, maybe go at it from multiple angles to distract anyone from seeing that- make it seem like they are wrapped around the plants too. Amongst all of your thoughts you kind of ignore the three looking at you curiously, ignore the way they watch your every twitch.

You don’t acknowledge them as you step up onto the armrest of the couch, right next to Yoongi and then from there, step up onto the back of it. You feel perfectly stable but they do not agree- in a singular moment all three let out small sounds of distress and Yoongi’s hands are shooting up to hold onto your legs, going hard and then tugging you straight back down. The pull down is far less stable and safe than you felt actually standing ontop of the couch and you turn with a questioning look on your face, wobbling as Yoongi stabilises you back on the ground, hands still holding just above your knees.

“You cannot climb up there like that-” - Yoongi fusses, the other two agreeing quickly and it only confuses you-

“Why not?” - Once again Yoongi is giving you the ‘are you for real?’ look and you are just about ready to brush off their silly protests to continue when Yoongi’s hands go firmer on your legs, keeping you exactly where you are

“Thats not safe- you’ll fall” - Namjoon stresses, clearly about to go into the thickness of the couch nd the height and all of the aspects that he thinks contribute to the lack of safety of your found stepping stool.

Their worries aren’t needed- you’ve done far worse to climb up things- okay maybe not on a balcony but you’re no where near the barrier anyway, you’re against the homes wall You laugh a little at their fretting, more like giggle in amusement and shake your head

“I won’t fall, it’s not that bad really” - You insist but they all kind of scramble to keep you in place, multiple sets of arms reaching to stop you from climbing again- panicked. As fast as they come, you swat them away with another laugh. You’ll humor them since they are so clearly against it.

“Okay so what do you suggest?” - Maybe you shouldn’t of asked that because what did they opt for instead of you climbing on absolutely anything? Sitting on one of their shoulders.

“Atleast that way you’re properly stabilised-” - Namjoon pushes, rubbing the back of his neck, hot and red with his awkwardness and embarrassment, especially when you’re standing there with your hands on your hips accusingly, eyebrows raised as you wait for their explanatio.

“You aren’t on a ledge, you’ll be sitting so you won’t fall” - Yoongi reasons and it still doesn’t convince you, definitely amused with a smile threatening to take over your lips but you refuse to give in to their - pointless - worrying so easily.

“And when I fall off your shoulders? Make you stumble and then both of us fall?” - You question and then all three of them return your confusion, clearly not believing that is even a relevant worry.

“We wouldn’t let you fall and why would we even stumble?” - Jungkook pushes, leaning in, head tilted and you laugh as you answer.

“You might and obviously you could stumble- a whole human on your shoulders would be hard to handle” - Its good reasoning, atleast you believe so- you believe its the logical answer, the logical thinking but they clearly don’t. Namjoon and Yoongi break into hugely amused smiles and Jungkook actually laughs, you stare at them confused at what is so funny.

“Any one of us could benchpress three of you Y/n, it’s definitely not going to be hard to handle” - Yoongi says smugly from behind his smile and you falter, face going blank to begin with and then processing his words- How can he just say that and expect you to know how to reply when theres some weird butterfly sort of feeling in your stomach and your omega suddenly perks up in your mind, chirping about how strong they are-

You don’t really have a chance to think of a reply anyway because through the three men’s amusement, Namjoon is standing up and gesturing for you to come closer, you just do it, accepting that you really don’t have a comeback to Yoongi’s words besides the attempt of ‘prove it’ and you don’t think that would really help your flustered case right now.

“How do i-” - You start, not knowing where to put your hands, your legs- how are you meant to climb onto someones shoulders anyway?!

Namjoon gets onto one knee, back towards you and leans down to make himself a little lower but you kind of just reach out and then pull back multiple times really having no idea how to climb onto him properly-

“Just climb on” - Yoongi says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, watching with amusement from besides you both

“What do you mean just climb on?! It’s not exactly an everyday thing climbing onto someones shoulders-” - You ramble and Namjoon has his head tilted down now, still waiting for you to get on but very amused, laughing a little.

You’re about to retort again and revert back to the original plan you had in mind- climbing the sofa not Namjoon’s body - when a sudden grip on your waist has you hoisted into the air, a yelp leaving your lips but you can’t think as you’re manhandled onto Namjoon’s shoulders, having to adjust your position to make this work, setting your legs around his neck, yelps leaving you one after the other at every movement, but you aren’t even in the air yet; you could stretch your toes and touch the floor from where you are, Namjoon still knelt down.

“Wait wait wait-” - You panic, Jungkook - who had lifted you onto Namjoon’s shoulders like you were a ragdoll, still has his hands on your waist, pretty much holding you up still and you grip onto his forearms hard, refusing to sit and put any weight on Namjoon’s shoulders, kind of in a weird bent diagonal position- trying to push your tiptoes on the floor to keep off his shoulders and balancing yourself but also not.

Yoongi’s laugh doesn’t make it any better; Namjoon holds so still so that he doesn’t spook you into losing balance and Jungkook has a very firm grip on you. Maybe it is a little funny, the boys’ amusement does bring a smile of your own to your face to be honest.

“I can’t sit on your shoulders Namjoon- i’ll be heav-” - You can’t even finish your sentence when Namjoon realises what you’re going to say, realising that is why you were saying wait and just takes it into his own hands, literally, reaching up, hands gripping onto your thighs and pulling you down firm until you are actually sitting on him. He doesn’t so much as twitch with your weight on him, no huff of air, nothing-

You can’t think as it all happens fast; no longer on your tip-toes, legs dangling over Namjoon’s chest now, sitting properly on his shoulders and Jungkook is pulling one of your hands off of his forearm to direct it towards Namjoon where your other hand follows, and you’re curling your body forward instinctually, hands grasping at his hair in panic; your eyes are wide at first and then squeezed shut.

Okay totally normal—just getting help hanging some fairy lights by sitting on his shoulders, totally normal, nothing to overthink about- nope not at all. Just focus-

“There we go, wasn’t so hard right?” - Namjoon asks, hands firm and secure on your thighs even if your feet are only dangling a bit off the ground so far, you slowly open your eyes and huff out, not answering that question because that was infact very hard. You’re soft in his hands, fingers dimpling into the soft flesh even through the pajama pants and he loves it.

“Am i hurting you” - Is what you say instead and Namjoon instantly denies, shaking his head, grip going a little firmer to keep you from trying to scramble off again and ultimately probably fall off. Then you notice your death grip on his hair and stumble over an apology, letting go and awkwardly petting his head better, the three alphas just laugh and Namjoon tells you it’s okay to hold on, you try not to but you have a feeling you probably will end up doing it anyway.

“Okay you ready for me to stand up? Just hold on, i promise i won’t drop you” - Namjoon tries to reassure you, you go tense where you’re sitting but nod even if he can’t see it, now or never and you’re half way there anyway-

He stands up in one fluid motion, as if you weren’t on his shoulders at all and at the sudden rise- hoisted high into the air and sitting a whole lot taller than you ever have the view of- you yelp and your legs cross in front of his chest where he still holds them, kind of going tight around his neck and you curl even more, your stomach pressed to the back of his head, holding onto his hair for dear life. You swear this whole ordeal has your life flashing before your eyes but… it is kind of exciting

Jungkook laughs where he sits, watching how it looks like your trying to do some sort of thigh chokehold on Namjoon and he doesn’t even complain, just holds you tighter but he does tap your thigh once, and you loosen just enough for it to be comfortable.

“Sorry- sorry… didn’t mean to choke you” - You scramble out, trying to slightly uncurl yourself and straighten up only to retreat from that mission for a moment because goddamn you are high up right now-

Yoongi stands next to both of you and then hands you the lights you need, string lanterns first and you hold them shakily at first, a bit reluctant to let go of Namjoon’s hair but when you do, you findt you don’t slip one bit, don’t even wobble, Namjoon is perfectly still as if you’re a part of his own body and his grip is grounding, reassuring, kind of relaxing even.

“Could you go to the corner if that’s okay?” - You ask, realising you can’t quite reach, and then Jungkook thinks of a solution rather than you verbally having to call out your directions each and every time.

“Have you ever watched Ratatouille, Y/n?” - You look over your shoulder at Jungkook, brows furrowed, but you nod and he perks up, leaning forward in his chair with a grin on his face.

“Just do what Remy does and tug a bit of his hair in the direction you need him to move” - Okay that is funny actually… Yoongi is nearly in tears; this whole situation has been far too amusing, even more so when you do actually pick up a section of hair in the middle of Namjoon’s head and tug it forward a little, a cheeky smile settling on your face when he just laughs and moves forward like you wanted him too.

Quickly, you realise you do actually have to straighten up though because where your curled over, Namjoons hair is tickling your sensitive stomach through the shirt you’re wearing and you keep twitching slightly, fearing that the more it swipes over you the harder you’ll twitch and then eventually fall so you straighten up and- okay this isn’t so bad…

A tug forward and Namjoon is walking even closer, okay maybe you can get used to this actually, it’s pretty fun.

You lean forward a little, thighs pressing further into Namjoon on impact and his grip tightens to keep you where you need to be whilst you begin to tie up the first string, fiddling a little but surprisingly, now that your up here, it’s not so scary.

Now that it’s actually happening the whole fact that you’re on his shoulders doesn’t really flash in your mind properly, you just kind of pull this way and that way and move how you need to, putting up all of the lights. To be honest, it is actually easier, you’re higher up and after a few minutes you’ve put all your trust in Namjoon, bending and turning freely despite being over 6ft in the air. You find that the closer you get to the balcony’s railing, the harder Namjoon’s grip gets and you joke a few times, reminding him that he said he wont drop you and such to ease the impending concern if there is any.

When you’re finished, you huff and relax in your new seat, Namjoon tilts his head back against your stomach to look up, which he has done quite a few times now and consequently has been rubbing his head on your stomach, scenting you a little there but you try to ignore the butterflies you get from it.

“Ready to get down?” - He asks, you nod, tellin him you are and then he steps into the middle where he picked you up before and once again you find yourself kind of curling over his fluffy head, holding on while he gets back down to the same position he did to pick you up and you think you could maybe awkwardly unhook one of your legs and try to slide down his back but you fear your other leg will get stuck. You can’t think too much about it anyway because Jungkook comes up behind you again and lifts you off easily, your legs kind of kick before they touch the floor, once again startled because how does he keep sneaking up on you like that-

Namjoon gets up once your off and your going to thank him when you see the mess you made of his hair, sticking in all kinds of directions. You smile sheepishly at it, reaching up.

“Sorry i messed up your hair” - You tell him and stand on your tiptoes to reach the top of his head, instinctively going to fix it

“Its okay” - Namjoon laughs out, dropping his head for you to reach, easily giving in to your desire to fix it, to care for him even the smallest bit. You run your hands through it over and over, brushing out the little tangles with your fingers and when you still can’t reach the very top of his head you walk a step closer, nearly toe to toe like you were outside of your apartment building in that hug that you will never forget.

Namjoon closes his eyes at the feeling, head drooping and when you step even closer, scent enveloping him more, his hands reach out before he consciously knows, resting on your waist. You freeze for a second, it shouldn’t stun you. You had Jungkook picking you up and down by your waist just moments ago, and Namjoon’s grip on your thighs, which were wrapped around his neck- it really shouldn’t stun you, but the warmth of his palms makes you shiver a little, skin prickling as a smile curls on your lips.

You don’t push him away; you don’t want to and your omega purrs within you at your acceptance, dragging it out just a little longer than necessary, fingers pushing his hair back over and over as if it really needs your untangling anymore, it doesn’t. Something in you is deeply satisfied by this kind of thing, by brushing through his hair, just like it was when you dried Jimin’s hair for him and did the same, it makes you want to purr.

Even when you take your hands away and Namjoon opens his eyes again, you can’t bring yourself to step back, bathing in the warmth of his hands covering your sides. It’s so gentle that it’s almost ticklish, you smile bashfully at him, cheeks definitely dusted in red and in that moment you can only focus on him, just him.

The only thing that snaps you both back to reality and has you taking a small, hesitant step back is the sound of the front door closing inside the home, echoing out and Yoongi gets up from his place to see who it is. Namjoon walks back and sits on the couch, relaxing back into it next to Jungkook and you quickly revisit your task- making this balcony perfect.

You dart around, tiny adjustments, everything seems to be in place but its missing something, you feel a deep kind of longing for something cozy, this could be cozy but it isnt yet and as you stare around, face scrunched almost angrily, you set sights of the pillows adorning the couch indoors. Thats what you need.

“Do you have any extra pillows and blankets?” - You turn to the two men, refocusing their attention on you and Jungkook perks up instantly, nodding

“I have a whole closet full in my room” - He’s immediately up and leading you back to it, theres no one in the hall or large living space that you can see so you aren’t sure who’s come home.

The said closet Jungkook was talking about is… heavenly. Eyes dilating to the max, you want to run and jump in the middle of the mountain of softness and fluff, you gulp hard, trying to refocus but it’s oh so tempting. Jungkook tells you to help yourself and oh you do. In seconds your sifting through each and every piece, filling your arms up with pillows of all kinds and blankets and then, turning around, hair a little askew because somehow you’d buried your head in the pile at some point, Jungkook laughs.

“Cute” - Is all he says and your so glad the pile you have covers near to your eyes because you flush right up to your ears, spinning on your foot and setting off back outside.

You only have one route in mind, one path to follow and honestly you couldnt really get distracted anyway because you’d drop the pile of softness or topple over so you hardly notice when Yoongi and Hoseok watch you from the kitchen, practically running back outside where Namjoon still is.

Namjoon stands up upon seeing your arms as to not get in your way and is aiming to move so you can begin but you dump the pile down and then push him back down too.

“I need a model to properly see” - You reason, urging him to stay there even if in reality you kind of just want him there to see whether he approves when you finish up…

Over the next few minutes you’ve placed countless pillows and blankets around, careful in your decisions on what types go where and such and when your finished, you spin to take it all in and realise the sun is beginning to set now, you’ve been here all day and now its actually dark. It makes you kind of sad, you don’t want this to end.

Namjoon catches on to the slight dulling of your scent and the way you look out almost longingly and sits up, you speak before he can say anything.

“I should probably get back now, the sun will set soon”

“You haven’t even had a chance to use the balcony you made so pretty”

“You can use it for me”

“I think you should stay for the sunset, it’s your favourite” - Namjoon tells you, you can hear that there is room for you to say no but he doesn’t want you too, and neither do you. But… You’ve never told him that this time of day is your favourite, never explicitly…

“I can drive you home whenever you want to go Y/n, you don’t have to rush” - Hoseok appears at the door and tells you and you jump, not having realised he was even back let alone basically right next to you.

“Just… a little longer?” - You say, almost asking and the two men nod, smiling and then the other two appear, Yoongi and Jungkook.

“Wah, look at it out here” - Hoseok gushes, looking over every detail, you wish it was a little darker actually so you could turn on the lights

The four men pour out compliments on your decorating until your beet red. Then they vow to make good use of it, all spreading out, Yoongi settles in the leather chair, the other three easily find their own spaces on the couch and then you are pulled down between Namjoon and Hoseok, a good amount of room on either side of you.

The air is starting to get colder but the two beacons of heat besides you shield you from the chill. They all continue to gush for a while, then things begin to settle, Namjoon plays some of his music and the other three scroll mindlessly through their phones, Yoongi occasionally taking time off of his to just look out at the view.

Namjoon knows you don’t mind the silence, doesn’t have to look over too many times at you to know you’re enjoying just looking out and watching. Theres a permanent smile on your face, a warmth settled deep within you and slowly you slump more and more, sinking into one of the many pillows behind you and your legs pull up just a little, half-curling up where you are.

It’s so beautiful; this feels so right, so calm and the sun is setting so beautifully from here that you simply want to freeze time. You welcome the gentle breeze, hardly noticing when Hoseok pulls a blanket from behind him and drapes it over your legs. A peeled tangerine ended up infront of you at some point, nudged into your hand while Yoongi had one of his own across the balcony, you absentmindly nibbled at the segments, the orange of them is similar to the sky’s.

Your eyes feel heavy, mind feels so slow in the best way, the playlist on flitters through until you perk up a little, recognising Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Dreams’, briefly muttering something about how you love this song and someone, one of the alphas, mutter something back ‘of course you do’, endearing enough for you to slump even more.

Maybe you should just close your eyes for a few seconds, everything feels so warm when your usually cold and maybe closing your eyes will rid them of the heaviness, maybe…

The moment you quietly drift off, Hoseok is the first to feel it, your head slowly falling onto his arm and your body curling up more under the blanket over you, he can see you kneading it in your sleep and loosely, he drapes his arm around you, feeling you melt into his side.

Your gentle huffs of breath against his arm confirm that you’re asleep, your colder body soothed by his warmth, seeking it out as your hands reach to hold onto his arm too and his phone is long forgotten, just watching you now. No one wakes you, not yet, they let you rest, let you nuzzle further and further into Hoseok’s warmth and mildly nest in your sleep.

Hoseok tells them he’ll take you home in maybe an hour or two, lets you sleep for a little while longer. The gazes they all give you are full of warmth, full of care and adoration, admiring your every tendency even in your sleep. It’s almost as if you can feel their stares, hear their thoughts because in the silence that’s fallen over them, you purr, your lips curled up happily and it wrecks them. Oh it absolutely destroys them. Any doubt of their growing feelings towards you was lost in the soft breeze of the impending night, there while you napped so easily, so warm when you always find yourself so cold, a new kind of satisfaction.

Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter please let me know what you think of it, I try to get back to comments as soon as I see them!

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yahoodarling · 1 year ago

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Yandere Thoma/Ayato X IsekaiedGN Reader

Warnings: Posted in comments to avoid spoilers, please read them if you wish to avoid potential triggers.

Word Count: 20k (Full Fic)

Chapter option: Part 1 ( 3 Chapters, +-6k ea)

It's disgusting, it is discomfort incarnate to have such foresight into the fate of the world and yet be bound to its own laws of destiny, especially when what you were sure was to take place is altered. You no longer have any ground of understanding except the uncanny feeling that things are not as they should be, to be so similar and yet be so changed. You knew things will end up alright, as long as you do not interfere then Inazumas political warfare will reach a peaceful end and it did. You watched, noted those ‘special’ to the world, those who have a story, a life, a reason and you took the responsibility of not getting involved and it worked. You became an npc, avoided any confrontation with those deemed ‘special’, avoided any influence in the ‘plot’, watched as a hero came, a nation saved and a people newly united. It worked. Your foresight was correct yet… things changed. With no base to rely on, how were you to know what the ‘future’ must be, how were you to know what to avoid, who to avoid and what minor choice may change a future? The hero has left, gone to Sumeru you guess, no, you know, you know the hero leaves for a new nation but so has your foresight and with that comes the change. The one day gathering supplies, one day speaking to a fellow npc to fill some sort of social need, one day being in the ‘dark’ and you've caused a spark.

“Oh Aoi, good morning to you!”

He didn't speak to you, it was directed to the npc shopkeep you were chatting with and yet it grabbed your attention. Thoma is ‘special’, Thoma is relevant and so he must be avoided and you failed.

Thoma spoke of how lovely the nights have been, of the soft whistles of sea, even to npcs Thoma was a gentleman starting conversation. He then noted how ‘unique’ your eyes are, a depth to them he's never seen before. That comment frightened you, made you rush to leave, to stop the change. Quickly you felt a hand on your shoulder,

“Please excuse my rudeness but how about we have a stroll? I know its unfair of me to ask a stranger such a thing but… you remind me of a home away from home, if you would grant me such a pleasure that is.” he ended with a chuckle. You have been so realistic up to this point, so good at avoiding ‘change’ but you have a heart and knew all too well that whatever feeling Thoma is experiencing is something important to him. You have a heart and so you accept. A single light hearted stroll became a weekly meet at the shop front, ‘coincidentally’, which became a personal relationship which became a friend. It's alright though, Thomas is a social guy, he's close with many npcs who never impacted the ‘plot’, you can be one such npc, that's fine. Change is fine.

It's not fine. Meeting with Thoma you eventually met with other ‘special’ individuals you knew by name before they even knew of your existence. It's a weird feeling to know a person before getting to meet them, all the private details, their worries, their joys and yet to remain oblivious.

“A formal greeting from the Kamisato Clan, I am glad to see Thoma has a new friend. Do treat him well, sadly I must make short of this meet.” and the man who is most likely the most influential to whatever ‘plot’ is to come of Inazuma greeted. Kamisato Ayato was amongst your top ‘DO NOT ENGAGE’ list other than the archon herself and yet somehow naive bliss and a VERY convincing plea(almost suspiciously good) from Thoma to have lunch by the beaches near the residence of the Kamisato Clan lead you right into his ‘life’. You have no ‘life’, you are meant to have no ‘life’, no value or effect and yet by each interaction with those deemed ‘special’ by the world your plans crumble.

Ayato then promptly bowed and walked out the residents gate, a body guard joining him as he started his track along the path you had just taken towards the city.

“Ah right, he has that meeting. A pity, if his schedule was more open I would have asked for him to join us.” Thoma turned to you with a quick hesitant smile, “he's really not as imposing as you may think he is. Ah well… maybe he still is but just in a different way then what the people expect. If you'd like, maybe I could let you know when my lord and I are doing something casual, if you would be comfortable with that of course. I forget just how intimidating the idea of being casual with a clan lord can be to someone who doesn't know him as well as I do.”

“Thank you for the offer Thoma but I'd like it if we just kept it the two of us. You are right, the idea is a little frightening right now.”

You knew what Thoma meant by all that, he means that Ayato is a genuine person underneath his political mask. Ayato is a brother, a friend and a man caring for those deemed under his protection and to those lucky enough to see under his mask they may be met with the unlucky fate of becoming a target to his mischievous nature.

Still, the idea of getting involved with someone so influential is nauseating even if just for something ‘casual' as Thoma has in mind. In truth you shouldn't even be here, here near the Kamisato Clan, here near someone like Thoma, here in Teyvat in the first place. You shouldn't be here.

“I see, that's expected haha.” Thoma smiled at you wildly, reaffirmed at the idea of something going on in his mind (if only knowing what said idea was was as easy as opening a character profile and reading a line directly out of his thoughts) “Well we are still here for a good time. Let me get that blanket and pillows for the beach quickly. You are going to love it!” Thoma quickly skipped into the yard of the clans walls while you waited outside and watched as the npcs you recognized patterned around the area. That one person at the commission board, you had forgotten his name by now after fulfilling Inazumas reputation months ago. There was the old lady sweeping in the yard, what did she comment on again? … … it never came to you, it was all forgetful anyway. A sudden feeling of envy hit you. They were forgetful, oh how lovely that would be to ease your nerves. To know that each day the sun rises you can follow your coded script without fear of altering the fate of the very universe by the time the sun goes down. Wow, you've messed up haha.

Thoma returned quickly as promised, a blanket and two pillows clutched under one arm as a basket was held in another but probably most heavy of all was the giant smile on his face, wrinkling his cheeks with a sense of genuine happiness. No wonder you messed up, it would be impossible to say no to him. It's all his fault and yet you felt you could never put the blame on him.

“Well, sorry to have starved you of your lunch for so long, we are nearly there and I can't wait to see your reaction.” Thoma then lead you through a short path of the surrounding forest and down towards the beach.

Perhaps your recollection of the game isn't accurate, you could have sworn a group of enemies should be nearby the beach here but all along the coast line was just gentle laps of the waves upon white sand. Thoma layed out the blanket with little worries evident on his face, he placed both pillows down then removed his shoes, each unclad foot stepping on the blanket to avoid spreading sand all over it, you promptly did the same, sitting down and placing the basket you had down next to his.

“This place is lovely at any time of the day but especially during sunset, I would have asked for you to join then but I feared it would make things inconvenient for you but still, spending the afternoon here is just lovely nonetheless.” he criss crossed his legs and then beamed at you.

“Come on then, don't keep me waiting, I'm dying to try out one of your baked goods.”

Right. One of the first things you did when you realised you were now living in the game was (panic, cry, internally scream in confusion as to how this has happened and if your world will keep on going and you aren't in it) actually to set up an identity for yourself. Running around and claiming to have come from another world and how you somehow know very personal details of select people and the future fate of the nation would lead to either your banishment or a future altered and possibly worse where peace was not founded, the resistance killed off and the entire plot of the ‘game’ thrown off. Not a good idea. Instead you tried to incorporate yourself into the ‘npc lifestyle’ as quickly as possible. You came up with a backstory that befit this world, you are a failed Sumeru scholar who has come to Inazuma to lead a new simple life outside of your failures. (In truth you stole inspiration for the backstory from some npc you think was on Sangonomiya Island.) It makes sense, people you tell won't ask you more about your past details in fear of being insensitive and Sumeru scholars are sometimes brought to Inazuma. You explained your (fake) predicament to a shop vendor who referenced you to the local baker who took you on. Now you bake goods behind the walls, don't face any customers and have a very npc-like backstory and job. You set yourself up well which was helped by all the knowledge you have of this world. Too bad you messed up all that work and are sat in front of someone ‘special’. Maybe you can salvage the situation, maybe it's not as bad as you think it is, you only have ‘maybes’ which isn't helpful since you had a ‘definitely’ to rely on before Inazumas ‘quest’ was finished by the hero.

You just smile at Thoma and reach your basket. “I made some simple bread rolls and brought some butter and jam but I also made some black sesame biscuits before leaving work. Thanks again for convincing my boss to let me off early today, things get busy there.”

“Not a problem, I don't often take days off either but I think I just needed a break today and imagined it would be a nice chance to get to know you more. How about you pass me one of your rolls in exchange for a serving of okonomiyaki? Sorry it's probably cold by now but should still be good.” He reached into his basket taking out some wooden containers as well as some cloths, likely for cleaning any spillages, and handed you one with you exchanging and giving him a roll and butter from your pack.

You both nibbled at each other's creations, the bread rolls were still slightly warm on the inside since you had baked them before leaving, which Thoma commented on how lovely it is with the butter. The okonomiyaki you took pieces out of was cold but packed with various spices and toppings which really highlighted Thomas skills.

“I just love that we can do this!” Thoma announced after his last bite. “I love getting to make and share things with friends, it's touching the combined effort put into it as well as the delicious outcome we get to enjoy. Haha, my lord and I do a similar thing but its outcome is not as enjoyable as warmed bread and butter, if anything it's concerning haha. Remember how earlier I said how he can be a little intimidating, our little cook outs are one such example. I really have to steel myself for those.” he chuckled and then leaned down on his elbows.

Once again, what he's trying to explain is something you already know of but need to act oblivious to. You have to convince yourself to be unaware and yet need to be aware enough to avoid ‘changing’ anything, this task has grown rather wearing but is essential to keep up your act.

“Oh? How could cooking together turn out so threatening? You two are close though.” He laughed

“It's because we are close that he feels he can torment me with his cooking. I swear, I'm surprised I haven't kneeled over and died yet. Worst part is he knows it's tomenting, it's the best part to him! Agh- I've had so many of my own treats I've made be ruined by whatever his plan is. Haha, it's amusing to look back on but just so daunting at the moment. When I said we could do something ‘casual’ with him I do not mean having one of these cook outs haha, I could never subject you to that.”

The nature of the conversation stayed light hearted, you both exchanging from your baskets while sharing stories or light hearted moments, you had altered your side of things a little, you spoke truth of personal events but under the filter to fit with your backstory, that way lies couldn't catch up with you or forgetting lots of little made up details. The outing was rather pressuring in concept, so much could go wrong since you are involved, but in reality it was very nice. You had kept yourself back a lot when it comes to building relationships with the people around you in fear of your influence potentially changing something important but you are still human and still have social needs but even people like your boss, coworkers and the shop vendors you chat with in passing never fit what it meant to have a friend, to have someone to sit next to and simply have a good time with.

Maybe you've been in this world for too long, you fear you may slip into making a ‘normal’ life here now that you've had a taste of what it means to ‘live’.

The sun started moving, waves became more rash upon the shore and the signs of the afternoon turning to evening became evident. You started packing up your basket and containers, lightly chatting on with Thoma about the seaside. To the side you heard footsteps and Thoma sat himself up straight to look at the oncomer.

“Oh! Done with the meeting my lord?”

Your hand slipped in fright, the container lid clattering as you tried to put it with its matching box. Shit, why is he here? Shouldn't Ayato be too busy? Isn't that one of his whole character points? Not once was ‘strolls on the beach’ mentioned in any of his character lines. You looked up and smiled at him in greeting, your face tugged up tensely and trying very hard to look at ease. You decided it would be easier to let Thoma handle him and just got back to packing your things away.

“Good evening to you too,” he chuckled softly and shifted his gloves, “the meet is done without any problems. When I got back home I wondered if you were still out here, seems I was right. I can now also fix a prominent mistake of mine.”

Even though you tried your hardest to avoid eye contact and look busy it's not like you had mountains to put away, you were left empty handed with a pair of well polished shoes in front of you, their sheen contrasted with the speaks of sand now defiling them. You took a breath in and looked up properly to meet his gaze.

“I do apologise for being so rash earlier, I would have liked a proper introduction. As you can surmise i am Ayato, Thoma has mentioned of you before and I am glad to have the honor of meeting you in person.” he smiled in greeting, no doubt he would have offered a hand or a bow if you both were at the same height but for now a smile would do.

“Right, it is truly an honour Lord Ayato. Thank you for extending your welcome to me.” you bowed slightly.

He laughed slightly, deeply amused.

“Do just call me Ayato in private like this and last I recall, yes my property is in the area but that doesn't warrant me the entire beach side. In truth I have not welcomed you at all.”

Thoma sighed slightly, “My lord please don't tease them so readily, I would like to eventually re invite them here but I can't do that if you've scared them away.”

“Of course, maybe then I can truly offer my welcome and they may join us to tea in the confines of the clan.”

Thoma sighed again at the slight continuation of Ayato's mischief. You took the opportunity of their exchange as an opening and stood up.

“Thank you for the food today Thoma and for bringing me to such a lovely place. I'll get going before it gets too late.”

“Oh, let me walk you back then.”

You shook your head in defiance, “No need, I know the way and it doesn't make sense for you to walk all the way just to have to return. Bringing me here was amazing in itself.”

You turned to Ayato and bowed again, less in respect and more so to keep away from eye contact.

“Thank you again Lord Ayato. Stay well.” and quickly you make your way off the sands of the beach and towards the trek back home into the outer city.

Thoma and Ayato stayed still, simply watching you go in silence until you were out of eyesight. It was Ayato that broke the silence.

“You are sure they do not carry any ill intent?” he said monotonously, still looking at the spot you disappeared to.

“I am sure. They are a decent person and I double checked, they don't have a past linked to any organisation. Sure they are rather anxious, I see it often, a little skittish at times and slightly paranoid but it's not at the prospect of the clan. Haha, if you've taught me anything it's to be aware of people's intentions, if anything they are trying to run away rather than to get close. I can assure you, they don't have an agenda against the clan.”

Ayato breathed out, then turned himself to properly look at Thoma, his face relieved. “If that's your judgement it must be true then.”

…

An odd moment of silence spread between the two of them on the beach, both looking out as the sky took on warmer hues of yellow and orange clashing with its deeper blues.

“You've been coming here a lot more recently and to have invited a friend here as well, has your mind been on your homeland?”

Thoma chuckled and leaned back out on the blanket, now dusted with sand and corners crinkled after the day's events, “I have. Thinking about the mountains of Mondstadt and all the memories just out there across the ocean. It's not in a sad sense, not at all, it's just that recently-,” he paused, looking away from the ocean and down to his lap, slightly gnawing on his lip in thought, “recently i've felt more… connected with myself. It's a nice feeling if not slightly concerning. I feel I'm getting to know myself better but it also just clearly shows how much I have yet to discover.” He sighed, closed his eyes and fully laid down on his back.

Ayato looked down on his friend, doing as he does best and figuring out just what was going on in his mind, his feelings, the reasons for such feelings and the potential catalysts that brought them about. He kneeled down onto the blanket beside his friend, form straight from a lifetime of practice.

“Does your new friend have anything to do with it?” he asks only to be met with silence, Ayato doesn't need an answer, he already knows it's true but just why that is so is still unknown.

“It isn't that you have fallen for them have you? I didn't think of you as one for love to occur after a reasonably short time.”

Thoma opened his eyes languidly and responded this time.

“I don't think it is love. Not yet but… i'd say i've definitely fallen for them haha, in whatever way that is i'm not sure but it feels… unbridled in nature.” he closed his eyes once more and shook his head at his own emotions. He tugged on a smile and relieved himself of his weighing thoughts, “So i'd appreciate it if you don't chase them away okay? I look forward to figuring out what's going on with both myself and with them.”

Ayato nodded wordlessly, not needing to disturb the quiet with a response.

…

“Ayato, did you notice the look in their eyes? It truly just- it just instantly made me feel like I was reliving my home town but also… not. It was familiar but also so foreign.”

“I hadn't gotten a good look at them in truth. They seemed rather determined in keeping their eyesight on anything but me.”

Thoma nodded in acknowledgement, “Makes sense. I do hope they warm up to the idea of the three of us doing something together eventually. Haha, once they've settled their nerves they are very comforting to talk with, I think you'd like them.”

Comfortable silence stretched along the two, the shades of yellow and orange in the sky deepening to reds and purples. In time Ayato stood up, no doubt with the intent of work to finish. He turned to leave before side glancing at Thoma.

“The nobushi that often occupy these beaches, you've disposed of them correct?”

“Did it just this morning to make sure the beach was safe for today as well as to clear out the threat they bring.”

Ayato sighed in annoyance.

“I still can't believe those ruffians believe they outwit us, thinking being close to the clan means they may spot our vulnerabilities.” he shook his head slightly, like the ‘danger’ the oathless samurai possessed was nothing but a pesky fly.

He then made his way back to the clan home leaving Thoma to steep in his own thoughts.

It was after this interaction that you decided to cut things down. At first you imagined Thoma to be the safest ‘special’ person to come across, given how social he is and loved by many you could become a face in the crowd while also tending to your social needs and appeasing Thoma who, and you still wonder why, wanted to get closer to you. Following the path you've taken recently, of course you were wrong, in fact Thoma should have been on that list of ‘DO NOT ENGAGE’ for the very reason you thought it was safe to: he's social. Very quickly you had realised in your time meeting with him that he would smile and wave to many walking by, one such instance was panic inducing when you noticed Yoimiya come over to greet him. Before she had fully skipped up to the both of you you had promptly dismissed yourself and ran back to the confines of your walls to avoid meeting someone so ‘special’.

This was Thomas' problem, he is the network that is connected to so many ‘characters’ that by staying by his side means undoubtedly meeting with the others. Today's incident was clearly that, you met Ayato, you were right there at the clan bordering the line of stepping into the grounds of one of the most impactful places of Inazuma and it was Thoma that had convinced you to do so. You had been too lenient on your rules recently, too selfish. You don't follow these rules you've written up for yourself because you want to but because you know it's for the better of the future and altering such a future because you can't stay inline is selfish to every being in Teyvat that could possibly be influenced by your choices.

To live means to influence your environment, to live means to leave an impression that proves your existence. You wish for nothing right now other than to ‘die’, be void of life and find comfort in that, to finally release the stress of what it means to have all this information of the world and not belong in it but you are still human, you have needs to fulfil and ‘dying’ is not one of them.

It was time to cut Thoma off, it hurt because you knew it would hurt him but it would be better this way. That night you closed your eyes to rest, determined on your new path but gut wrenching in a myriad of emotions, fear, pressure, uncertainty, sadness. You haven't slept well ever since coming to this world and that night was no different. You fell asleep cursing the ground you walk on, cursing the details that swamped your mind, cursing your very existence and the trouble it causes to both this world and yourself.

Separating yourself from Thoma was simple, firstly you changed your shopping time, no longer ‘coincidentally’ meeting with him like you had these last few weeks. Secondly, you asked your boss for more work, that way you have an excuse. You aren't a ‘bad person’ for suddenly leaving Thoma, no it’s because work has been busy and you just don't have the time. This system worked, you hadn't stumbled on him while in the city and the few times he did come to your workplace you simply told him that you were busy and needed to get back to work. This system went on for weeks and was perfect for devoiding your existence of ‘live’, which yes was depressive, you could feel yourself go mad at the amount of work you put on yourself and lack of outlet, but it worked. The extra work did help with the issue of mora as well (the value of mora being confusing ingame where how a single egg was 400 mora and yet 1 mora is represented as a single coin but you realised quickly it was just the ingame market system) which lightened the financial strain a little. You worked from early mornings to late nights, arms dead by the end of the day. In truth you know it isn't a healthy cycle, often coming home and skipping meals just to bathe and sleep, but it was necessary.

Inazumas rains soaked the land, luckily no thunder was present but the trek from the city to nearby village was still made difficult in the wet weather. Your eyes focusing and unfocusing, legs on autodrive walking you towards a particular customer of your workplace who the boss is very fond of. The old lady you were delivering to had been coming to the bakery for years but in her age can no longer make the walk to the city. Your boss found it mandatory to provide for such a loyal customer and so your weekly walk to deliver her breads was on the way.

In the rain was silence, just the sound of your wet shoes on the mud and the rhythmic clank of the wooden box you carried and its latch. The world began to blur, shapes and colours combining as the rain obscure your vision and the melody of your steps, the rain's patter and the wooden latch soothed your mind. Peaceful, a sleepwalk yet not unconscious.

Peace is never retained.

“Look, a stray lamb. Ha! The rain brings fortune indeed.” a swallowed out voice but a few steps away from you got you out of your daze. A wandering samurai, perhaps 3 all together, walked from the side of the path towards you from the river. If this had been ingame the confrontation would be nothing more but an annoyance, 4 ‘characters’ to choose from to easily snuff them out or the option to just run away until they gave up chase. In reality this confrontation means little less than a deathly denouement. Heavily armed, well trained men with seemingly no morals and a thirst for sick entertainment against a human bering no vision, a basket of bread and a fatigued body leaves little wonder as to how this will end. Panic arose at the realisation, the very human phenomenon of ‘fight or flight’ kicking in, and as a baby bird strives to the air you push off your feet, adrenaline quickly awakening your senses and urged your body to a change of direction and just as a fledgling's first flight you fall. Hard. Your mind may have awoken but your body had not caught the message, instead you lay your head in the dirt, all motive diminished, just your sad existence lay bare for a bunch of hostile mobs, stupid coding of copy paste enemies, to take your life. In all honesty this is perfect, you wish to retain as accurate to an npc life as possible? What better way than to die a meaningless death. That brought enough comfort to you to allow yourself to close your eyes (disregarding the other factors such as shock, exhaustion and most likely a concussion from the fall)

Perhaps a few of your questions will be answered now, if you die here will you reawaken into your own world? Will the months of lifetime in this fictitious game be nothing but a dream or will you truly die and merely sink into the mud as nothing more than a mistake upon this world? Neither as it seems the feeling of the rain pelting on your body ended, the sounds of swords being drawn and clashing washed away and your head, though still paining, layed on something far more welcoming than wet earth.

“Are you regaining consciousness then?” you feel hands lean your body up, a hand moving you face side to side prompting your eyes to open. They are met with the analytically eyes of Ayato still looking over your features for whatever wear and tear you may have gathered.

“To have fallen so gracefully in such a life threatening moment, truly your abilities are unmatched to any I have seen before. I am surprised you garner such mud and bruising, I had expected you to be dressed in only the most comfortable of clothing by the way you so effortlessly went to rest.” Oh for fucks sake-

You properly awaken, now relying on your own balance to stay sitting upright and Ayato moving his hands away only to have his eyes peering closer to you. You swipe at your face, lumps of mud clinging to your hand in turn. You heave a sigh just to gather yourself for a moment before speaking.

“What happened? Why would you be here if it means I'm not dead? Ah- sorry,” you jumped into accusations before even giving thanks, not suspicious in the slightest, “my head is still sore. Sorry, I must thank you for rescuing me, I would be dead if not for you.”

Ayato hummed and nodded his head. “To answer your question, I was on my way to the city before the rain started, not wanting to get wet. I waited here under this shelter until I saw you stumble right into that group of noboshira and now we are sat here. As for your apology, it's accepted, you are welcome.”

Why was he acting like this? Mischievous sure but with a slight hint of pride or cockiness in vulgar terms. Sure he's a noble but usually he adores the ‘polite lord’ act rather than ‘cocky aristocrat’. His attitude reminded you of how he interacts with those he deems ‘close’ rather than a stranger he's met only once. Yes you are close with Thoma which may influence how he sees you but surely not to the extent of you two being ‘close’ in turn.

And still you must play the fool, be gracious and oblivious like you could never tell between his mask and his true face.

“Thank you so much Lord Ayato, truly you've saved my life.”

You stand to bow, to leave but he holds your wrist at the movement.

“Do not move so hastily now, the rain is still ongoing and I would not like to see a recurrence of you laying in the mud, no matter how amusing the first time may have been. Do sit back down.”

No denying that, no matter how much you wanted to make distance between the two of you, trying to run away would only cause more problems. You sit back down on the bench, a rickety structure just outside the village with hardly enough space for two. You look to the ground at your feet, watching as rain drops just a few inches away. Ayato sighs, made clear you have no intent of starting a conversation. Perhaps his political side kicks back in, going blunt and straight to the point.

“You have been avoiding Thoma these last weeks, he's become distressed at the idea he's done something wrong.” you do not reply.

“Is it because of my involvement? I understand you may be pressured by our difference in class but both Thoma and I have made it clear that should not be a problem when in private so why is it you fear me? I have seen those intimidated by my title but your anxiety runs deeper than that. I personally don't care as much but if it distracts your relation with Thoma then I suggest it should be dealt with.”

This questioning is unnerving, it is tearing right to the point where the only truth is to reveal the true origin of your situation. That cannot happen so you reply with what you usually do, not exactly a lie but a truth wrapped along with missing context.

You fake a sigh, “My Lord I am… I am an introverted person by nature. When Thoma approached me I- I accepted his conversations not to be rude and i do genuinely enjoy being with him but i- he's a social person, I knew he was and it was uncomfortable for me to get involved but I tried it's just the moment I met with someone such as yourself, someone so… powerful I realised just how large his social circle is. I can't keep it up, being with him means being with others and I can't handle that.” it was the truth, yes you played it up a bit but hopefully it's an explanation Ayato would accept.

“So you do not consider your friendship special enough to warrant such efforts?”

“No!” you lift your head to him, for once properly looking at him, “It is, he is special, he is special beyond your understanding it's just that… I don't fit in, I don't belong by his side and meeting you and others just proves that.”

Ayato looked at you for a moment, seemingly lost in your words, perhaps not understanding the phrasing you used but he quickly morphed back into his usual laid back but self assured look.

“Was that your decision to make?” He let out a soft huff of air and looked forward to the oncoming rain. Why did he wish to avoid the rain? Given his character trailer where he casually accepts it, his skills being water based and summoning quite literal rain not to mention the casual manner his attacks have him kneeling right into it, how could he act so off put by walking along when the storm was hardly harsh, a summer spray in truth, you wouldn't have accepted going on this delivery if the weather was any worse.

“It's comforting. Something I can appreciate both from a distance and up close. Water has a tendency of being both stubborn and flexible, it moves as it wishes and chips away at that it deems in its way. When in motion it is hard to stop, when stagnate it proves hard to move.”

Ayato turned back to you, eyes alight with something more than just his blue hues, they appeared with a sheen, not from the gloss of tears but of something you couldn't exactly tell what it embodied. Without a character profile to read it actually is very hard to tell what goes on in his mind.

“Such waters remind me of you. So stubborn in some label you've put yourself under and yet so quick to wash away when it is threatened. You call such a label as being ‘introverted’ but I imagine it's something more isn't it? Perhaps it is insensitive of me to get into, from Thoma I hear you've had an unfortunate past in your time as a scholar and the depths of your reason may lay there but if you truly wish to integrate into a life in Inazuma then avoiding the people you come across, myself and especially Thoma, all under the pretext of being ‘introverted’, then you will find your burdens much heavier.”

In a very storylike fashion the rains seemed to ease, droplets turning to drizzle. Ayato stood up and readjusted his coat cuffs, “At the very least explain to Thoma your reasons, I did not exaggerate when I said he has become distraught.”

You stood in turn, head buzzing but no longer in the previous pain. You nodded to Ayato, your anxieties haven't shown any actual proof and yet you hurt someone who has shown nothing but kindness and acceptance to you, it is wrong.

“I will, you are right.”

Ayato offered his hand to you for a hand shake, both as an untold promise to explain yourself to Thoma and as a simple goodbye gesture, you shook it with a strong resolve.

“I look forward to hearing more about you in the future. Do keep yourself well and avoid potential naps in the mud, it's not the most comfortable of places.” he smiled at you with a cheeky glint of amusement before turning his back and walking to the direction of the city.

You sat back down on the bench, intent on waiting out the remaining drizzle, and leaned against its wooden pillars. It's all so conflicting, when you try to do right for this world you hurt and confuse those around you, if you try to appease the people around you you risk threatening their future. You bare a cursed mind of information, a cursed existence upon this plane, it isn't right to affect others by the curse you bare but it also isn't right to devoid someone so giving as Thoma.

You sit and contemplate until the drizzle gives way, your carry box placed by your feet filled with breads untouched by dirt and still awaiting their destination.

Ayato strolls along the path to the city, it is not his usual reasoning for taking the trip but still a reason worth doing so. Along his path all threats had been eliminated, you should arrive just fine but it wasn't that which plagued his mind, rather it was a soft sense of amusement, a sense of glee that left him softly chuckling to himself. He adjusted the cuffs of his gloves, a sign to his Shuumatsuban in hiding that they are to leave him for a moment, once the soft shuffling of unseen ninja pass he turns is view to your direction, the distance hindering the sight, he needed a moment to himself, to gather all possible elements at play to give reason to his unspoken questions.

“As expected, Thoma was right, they do hold some degree of depth.”.

The words Ayato left with you clung to your mind, in all this time interacting with ‘characters’ you haven't once seen anything alter the course of the world yet. Perhaps it's a twisted Butterfly effect and your actions have changed something you cannot see but Teyvat was still intact and no news of a newly declared war has come about (for whatever reasons your actions may potentially had started a war in the first place). Perhaps the time of paranoia can finally come to an end and you can ‘live' a little, truly live here if it means spending the rest of your life in this world. You also owe it to Thoma. You've done everything in your power to avoid him when he's done nothing less but show genuine interest in getting closer to you and with Ayato's words you can confirm that you've hurt him. In your time knowing him, truly knowing him, not as a character reading lines of script, not as a collection of pixels on a screen but as a real person with flesh and feelings, it's really made you appreciate him more than anything one could feel for a fictional character. Thoma is not fictional in this world and in this world he looked to you for a friendship, you lead him on in your weakness and now he has to face the loss because of your choices. Ayato was right, you truly don't have the right to make this decision but the least you can do is make up for your mistakes and keep your promises. Teyvat isn't going to fall apart just because you want a friend, what led you to think you could change the fate of the universe in the first place? Fate is a strong thing, it will not break so easily just because you exist. The rest of the ‘plot’ will go on as normal, the ‘hero’ is most likely still in Sumeru sorting out their issues and that ‘hero’ can go on and change Teyvats fate, you can sit still, live a normal life and they can keep the story going.

You decide the best way to apologise is to show Thoma you genuinely care and the best way to do that, (other than actually talking to him) is to do what he's already established means a lot to him, make something. Thoma loves to see the effort people put into something much more than the actual execution of it. You are hardly a master baker yet he savours what you bake like it's been done by a professional, so play to your strengths. You finish your work day, inform your boss you will no longer be taking the overtime and rest for the day. Not wanting to rush into things too quickly you wait a few days and in your spare time make a batch of miso butter cookies and a simple fresh loaf of shokupan on the day you decide to meet him. It being a weekend you were off work but that also meant Thoma wouldn't be in the city, he does his trips here only during the week when he needs specific supplies for his upkeep of the clans residence. Taking a walk to the Kamisato Clan is quite the walk but you owe it to him to get this done, he can't be the one to keep chasing after you, you need to show you want to be close as well.

You arrive midday, the walls of the clan still so daunting, and walk to the entrance where the clans guards await, noticing your presence long before you could actually stand before them.

“Good day, I am here to deliver something to Thoma.”

The guard eyes you but responds, “He's out. If you have any deliveries you can leave them here where they will be checked before entering the clan.”

Thoma isn't here? Shit. That makes this whole thing a bust.

“Do you know where he's gone or when he'll come back? I'd prefer to see him in person.”

“No. Please leave any packages here and-” the guard was cut off as the man of the house walked up to the entrance, Ayato offered a slight smile, perhaps to ease your nerves at the guard's menacing stance though that is his job, before turning to said guard.

“They are a guest and are welcome to the clan. Thank you for serving your duties but they are free to enter.”

The guard bowed and uttered a small, “Yes my lord.”

Ayato then stood to the side to allow you in, his arm outstretching the direction in welcoming.

“Ayaka and I were just having tea in the break of our schedules. Please do join us.”

Well it seems you will be meeting Ayaka (for the second time), not expected, not something you were prepared for but if you are to truly let go of your worries then meeting Ayaka should not be a problem.

You follow suit and see Ayaka sitting at the table on the outside courtyard, she smiled in greeting as you and Ayato approached.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, I am Ayaka Kamisato.” she nodded in greeting. It's a little difficult to respond to people such as Ayaka and Ayato whom are so versed in proper Inazumaian etiquette but you've been in Inazuma for long enough to have picked up some things. You bow slightly in turn, “A pleasure as well Lady Ayaka, thank you for welcoming me to your home.” You responded in a similar way when first meeting Ayato though you imagine conversing with him from now on would be a lot more relaxed after your previous meetings. Said man indicated for you to sit beside his sister which you did, form a lot less refined compared to the pair of siblings.

“Ayaka, this is the person Thoma has been talking about as of late. A new friend to the Kamisato Clan.”

“Oh! It's truly wonderful to put a face to a name. Thoma has spoken only positives about you. What brings you here?”

You look down to the wooden box in your hand, your apology gift.

“I need to speak with Thoma and give him something.”

You don't even need to look at Ayato to know that he's fully aware of what your meeting with Thoma is all about.

“I see. He's gone out for a walk at the moment but should be back soon. Anyway,” it felt like ice drawn at the blunt way she changed the topic. She quickly turned back to Ayato, more specifically the paper in her hands, with a look of true delight on her face.

“The travellers' tales of Sumeru are incredible! Such a different place but the stories they are embarking on are memorising.” her eyes had a sheen to them, not the gloss of tears but of something you couldn't exactly tell what it embodied.

“Their letter details so much, the food, the culture, the people as well as all the situations they've ended up in.” she giggles, lifting her hand to cover her joy but not truly caring about it since she was in such comfortable company which is… odd considering you just met.

Ayato looks at you with a quick strained smile, almost to say, ‘sorry she's overlooking you’ but quickly returned to paying his attention to Ayaka.

“I am not surprised they often find themself in trouble haha though it is good to know they are enjoying their time there. Do they mention when they may return to Inazuma?”

Ayaka looks slightly dejected at that, “No. They say they need to stay in Sumeru for now but will come to the next major festival if they can.” she takes a deep breath in and releases it. “I hope it's soon. I want to hear all these stories from their mouth rather than just as words on a page.”

So Ayaka also has that ‘crush’ on the traveller which was very heavily implied in the game. That must be the reason she is so relaxed and open with her emotions here.

She looked back down at the letter, a soft smile developing. “I hear Yoimiya is planning on taking a trip to Sumeru in the future, perhaps I can ask her to deliver a token from me to the traveller while she is there.”

Ayato's smile remained as always listening to his sister but the small crinkle of the wrinkles by his eyes increased slightly for but a moment before relaxing. His wrinkles… a pity the game models of the characters didn't implement small details such as those. It would have been interesting to see what small features the characters had ‘realistically’ that weren't shown. Would Jean have bags around her eyes? Would Albedos skin have a slight difference of texture than normal? Perhaps Cyno has a more defined tan or Xiangling having slight burn blisters on her hands from cooking and her vision? You've only had a closer look at Thoma and he was so much more ‘real’ than just a 2D image which was slightly unsettling at first but normal now. What interesting things to think about…

“How about you join her?”

Your fascination died instantly. What? No, Ayaka will NOT be joining Yoimiya, that's not how it goes. Ayaka will deny or something will stop her.

“Really? But what of my responsibilities? I don't even know if she'd accept me joining.” Exactly.

“Do not fret, I will have your duties covered and Yoiymiya is your friend, I think she'd appreciate getting to share the trip with you. You deserve a break as well and I see no better opportunity than this.” No, no, no, no you won't because she's not going.

Ayaka stood up, elation beaming off of her while she clutched the letter closer to her.

“Thank you brother! Oh I must ask Yoimiya right away!”

She bowed and made haste out the residence not even sparing you a glance, to her you were a nobody. Her mind was solely on making this trip. You sat in shock, in the past her forgetting about you would be amazing, proof of your ‘npcness’ but you only felt stunned. Ayaka doesn't go to Sumeru, only Yoiymiya does for her second story quest, Ayaka is not involved, Ayaka does not show up, Ayaka is not part of that plot!

“I'm glad she can have a chance to experience the world outside the residence though having to cover for her duties will prove tedious.” Ayato shook his head, then chuckled. “But I'm not opposed to it for this.”

Just how- how has your involvement changed this?! It must be your fault, it can only be your fault, the story has gone on exactly as it was shown in the game so why is this different? What could you have done to make Ayaka go?

“Hmm?” Ayato noticed your silence, “Is something the matter?”

You swallow the spit that had accumulated in your mouth and regained as much composure as possible. “Yes yes I am fine I just- I just need to go have a quick walk by myself. I will be back soon.” It's all you could say. Your mind switched to autodrive in shock and walked you away, neither mind nor eyes truly focusing on anything but your legs walking you a path you've taken many times before yet never once stepped on, into the forests behind the clan house.

Walking in the tanuki filled forest may not have been the best idea, you recall ingame how Hilichurls and Fatui mages are ‘spawned’ here yet your walk was nothing but peaceful. The sound of the stream was somewhat calming, it helped you to think logically. Just because Ayaka says she's going to go on this trip doesn't mean she actually will, something will happen that will prohibit her from going to Sumeru. She is a very important character, her absence in Inazuma may cause something terrible to happen that didn't ingame. Maybe she helps a person in need ‘canonically’ but because in this existence she leaves for Sumeru she isn't there to save said person, that person dies or many people die which could upset their families which could cause them to lose faith in the (police) which could lead to disrupt in the city which could… which could… leave blood spilt?

You stopped your rambling thoughts, eyes zoning in on the pools of blood on the moss covered stones. Whatever caused this is nothing you should get involved in, until a sound of a strangled hiss, electro energy popping and fizzing in the air, a shriek of vengeance and then… nothing. The sound came from further ahead to the right behind a large mound, you watch to see the source, feet ready to run away as the slightest threat. Footsteps sounded and around the bend came a semi dirt covered Thoma, looking ahead with a solemn expression, seemingly dazed. His chest huffed out periodic breaths of air to regain himself and latestly wiped off his brow and took out a cloth and dabbed at the specks of blood on his clothes and arms, while doing so he turned and saw you standing motionless, eyes awide and still in semi shock. Almost instantly devastation fell upon his face, his eyes sunk in immediate sadness, he just looked at you for a second, whatever his thoughts were were his own, before quickly putting the cloth away and rushed to step towards you.

“Please just- i'm just doing my duty, I don't mean-, i'm not…” the more he tried to justify himself the more he seemed to sink into his own hole.

“I know this looks bad, you are the last person I'd want to see me like this but-” he took a deep breath in, steeled himself to elaborate properly, “it's to protect the clan. Fatui spies, rogue samurai, rival clans, a lot of them come here to spy on the clan or put us at risk, i'm just doing my duty and protecting the people who protect me.” he looked at you earnestly, hoping for your understanding, hoping you don't see him as a murderer, hoping to retrain the image of an amicable person but his soft smile of a plea also held the acceptance that you may not acknowledge his reasonings, that you'd turn your back and leave.

You do understand, you do know Thoma isn't a harmless friendly face, that he can and will do what must be done for the people he cares about, it's just that… it's a little hard to easily be calmed even with that notion when the very real blood and remains of that dedication is shown spewed across the forests floor, it's not something any ‘average’ person would not react to but still, this is Thoma, he has his reasons, it was done in the name of goodwill and he's trying to explain it to you.

You take a few steps towards him and offer a hesitant smile, “I get it, I don't see you as any less than before.”

Before you even regain your senses properly you feel his arms around you, tight and secure, his hand cupping the back of your head and hiding his face in your shoulder, so desperate to have the reassurance that it's okay but still hesitant to look at you, like you may change your mind.

“Thank you… archons above I was worried I've scared you. My word, that's the last thing I'd want…” she shook his head slightly, took one last deep breath and moved back up, his hands grasping your shoulders lightly, you could see his face up close now and he finally allowed himself to look at you, his face held a smile. “I am so happy to see you!” the heavy atmosphere diminished as Thomas usual radiance shone, “Haha, what are you doing here? It's been ages, the last place I thought I'd see you was all the way here.”

“Oh yeah, I actually came to apologise about that, about being distant. It wasn't right of me to just cut you off, I'm sorry.”

He stayed silent, only looking at you, his eyes softened and nose wrinkled in his genuine expression of embrace. “Dont worry about it, I was clingy, I'm just glad to know you are here now. I'm really happy about that.” he chuckled and shifted his weight to point you back up the path to the Kamisato residence.

“Let's go catch up shall we?”

On the walk back up you explained to Thoma your ‘reason’ for avoiding him (your half lie, half truth reason), the same one you told Ayato. You are shy and get intimidated by how social he is. Thoma nodded at your explanation, expressed his apologies for not noticing your discomfort and promised from now on he'll be more aware when you are together and not encourage meeting with others you aren't comfortable with. The walk was nice, a bit strained because of the topic but after all the knots had been loosened it felt good to be relaxed with him again.

You two entered the Yashiro court again, Ayato still sat at the table reading through some papers. Thoma turned to you, “Oh sorry, meeting with Ayato was one of the things that made you uncomfortable right? We could go somewhere else to catch up?”

“No it's alright, I met with him earlier when I arrived. I told him I'd return so it would be rude not to haha.”

The noise must have alerted said man, Ayato peaked his head up and greeted the both of you with a smile as you walked towards him and sat down.

“The both of you have returned safely from your walks then, it's good to see. How was it?”

Thoma hesitantly chuckled, “Haha, came across some trouble but nothing I can't iron out. Otherwise we just had a little talk.”

Ayato nodded and hummed.

You remember your carrier box filled with the apology gifts for Thoma and opened it.

“Thoma, I made some more biscuits and bread and wanted to give them to you, to further state my apology.”

“oh? Perfect then, we can have them with tea.” Ayato must have had someone refill the teapot while you were away as Thoma poured you both cups of steamed golden liquid and refilled Ayatos. Thoma took a biscuit and devoured it in delight, did he always over exaggerate when eating the things you baked or was his reaction authentic?

“Ayato, would you like one? They really are divine.”

“No thank you. It would be wrong of me to strip you of your joy haha.”

It was odd but so welcoming to be able to have a casual conversation with the two. It seemed easy to get lost in Thomas stories, he seemed fully invested in everything he spoke of and when listening he truly captured every word. Ayato, though not as vocal as Thoma when he did speak his words were like a maze you'd have to do a small mental puzzle to understand if they were a wise response or a guileful remark coming from his teasing nature. Though harder to understand, Ayato's words were still a welcoming part of the conversation as the three of you went on to drink and share.

Ayato shuffled his papers, putting them to the side, even on his supposed break he was reading through documents, Thoma hummed, took a quick look around then returned his gaze on Ayato.

“Where is Lady Ayaka? I thought you two were having this tea break to discuss something.”

Oh wait… Ayaka…

“Yes, she received a letter from the traveller today and was eager to share it, haha she truly is fascinated with that adventurer. She's not here at the moment however, she's gone to speak with Yoimiya. She says Yoimiya will be taking a trip to Sumeru in the future and has gone to ask if she may join.”

“Oh that's wonderful!-” Thoma hesitated, “Oh but doesn't she have some important meetings lined up these coming months with the shrine? There were those exchanges that need to be made, some deliberations about the upcoming festivals… as supportive as I am about her going on a trip, it doesn't seem doable with just how much is installed for these next 3 or 4 months.”

Oh Thoma you are truly a blessing, not only are you a true friend but you reestablished that the ‘plot’ wont change. You mouth a soundless thanks to him.

Ayato hummed and tapped his quill* rhythmically on the table. “That is true but I want Ayaka to enjoy her years and not only focus herself on clan affairs, this trip is a good first opportunity to see the world outside Inazuma and with Yoiymiya as her travel partner I do not doubt they will have a good time. As for the workload-” Ayato reached over to the paper stack and shifted through them, “I was busying myself with planning and rearranging the meetings and visits she had in the time I expect her departure will be. It is more work but it will be rewarding, you'll see.”

Thoma seemed confused, it seemed from the look on his face he was doing the same as you when it comes to Ayato's words, figuring out the puzzle but if there was an underlying meaning to his words you didn't detect them, Ayato was simply stating facts and expectations yet Thomas silence ment he was looking for more than just that. Whatever mental games Thoma was tackling he must have failed, he chuckled and melted back into his relaxed self.

“I'm glad then, it will be good for her.”

No… no this isn't right. There will be something, something will stop her from going, there must be.

“mhm, I only await to hear back from her and her meet with Yoiymiya, I don't see any reason why she would decline.”

Yoiymiya will decline, she will, she must.

“oh? Are you okay?” Ayato looks at you in concern, he puts his quill* down and gives you his full attention.

“Is something the matter? Whatever it is, I am sure we can address it.”

“No, no its okay I just realised- I had some serious stuff to do for work which i've forgotten.”

Ayato's face turns to mock surprise, you know he didn't believe you but he doesn't comment on it, Thoma does the same but you can detect the small quiver of his smile in disappointment that you are leaving so soon.

“Oh dear! Do you need help getting back home?”

“no no, i'll be fine thank you” you rush to stand up and then smile down to the two. “Thank you for today but I must go. Enjoy your afternoon.” you rush pleasantries and are out the gate before the two could press you further on your actions.

You've done it again, you came here to try to fix things but you've just made a mess. You can try to fix it tomorrow, for now the more pressing thoughts of the potential Sumeru trip Ayaka will go on drowned out any other thoughts. You walk home rushed, the long walk not helping much to ease your nerves, you can only hope fate will prevail and Ayaka will stay in Inazuma.

Ayato and Thoma sat in silence as you left, mutual understanding of the odd nature of your departure yet not wanting to address it.

“So… your ‘walk’ was fruitful then?”

“Just a few stray Hilichurls and a Fatui mage but it's been sorted.”

“Thoma, you know securing the perimeter is not part of your duties, you needn't lie about the reasoning for going out.”

Thoma did not respond.

Ayato breathed in deeply, “I am not opposed to you going out to release your emotions but I worry you may get caught up in them only to further feed into your obsessions.”

“I'm not obsessed! I'm just-” he grit his teeth in his own turmoil, “I don't want to label these feelings as ‘obsession’, that wouldn't be right to them. I don't know, I still don't know. When they stopped talking to me it felt like I'd lose them forever, that everyday I don’t see them with my own eyes is a day that they may disappear and I know that sounds obsessive but… but I don't want to call it that. I just don't…”

Ayato soaked up his friend's words like a sponge and as always his responses were either clear or muddled with undertone, this time Thoma could tell instantly Ayato's words were transparent.

“You need not worry yourself about labelling your feelings then, you two are back in contact and there is still a future for you to explore what the emotions you are holding mean. Just do not lose sight of your health and those around you, even obsession can be tamed. “

The next few months were both easier and harder than the times you were avoiding Thoma. Sure, you lessened your workload and your health improved, you stayed in contact with Thoma, not as much as before but still enough to bond over. It was good to have a friend again and the feeling was mutual, every time you did meet he seemed eager to enjoy it to its fullest. You had even met with Ayato a few more times, never to the extent of Thoma but at least it became comfortable to sit and have tea with the both of them in a relaxed manner but that was the positives, the looming threat of Ayaka changing the plot was a heavy cloud always looming. The few occasions she saw you she was cordial and respectful but her interest glossed right over like you didn't even exist. She and Yoimiya made plans, fulfilled the work she could and now here you stand on the beach you woke up on exactly 2 years ago, 2 years since you randomly came to be here in Teyvat, the same day fate was changed and both Yoimiya and Ayaka were set sail for Sumeru.

In blunt terms, youve fucked up. This was pure proof of your paranoia, this was proof your existence can cause the plot to change and the realisation of just how helpless you are in this situation dawned on you. The very act of your existence, whether you interact with those deemed ‘special’ or not, can and will change the story and you can only wonder if it will end well or if you've led something to doom.

It's not fair, it's not fair at all. Even though you've been friendly with Thoma recently it's not like you can truly confide in him and he's just a painful reminder of your mistakes. The burden of wearing this responsibility, one you didn't even know how to fulfil, one you failed to fulfil, it's unfair. You are only human, you have needs to fulfil and ‘dying’ isn't one of them…

But

But is it moral to be so selfish as to care about your own being when putting the risk of others on the line? Ayaka is gone from Inazuma, just how many people was she meant to interact with if she stayed? How will her presence in Sumeru affect the story? If you guess right the ‘hero' should be done with the main quest of Sumeru if it means Yoimiyas story quest can start but what if something happens that prohibits the plot for future stories? What of Ayakas presence delays the ‘hero’, even for a minute, in which that minute was originally meant for something in the greater scheme of things?

This is awful… this isn't right. Not only has living become so difficult because of the constant nagging of anxieties and worries but you also have the potential to be responsible for disaster simply by existing.

It isn't right… it isn't right you afflict this world with your existence and the threat it brings.

Two years ago when you awoke on this beach you hoped to retain a normal life, perhaps find a way back home but at the very least, set up a life for yourself, an npc life but at least something. It's only fitting that you felt you had to come here, to kneel in the sand and watch how its granules slip through your fingers, it's because you exist that this sand is moving… it's only fitting that you finally come to the conclusion that you must die while being here. This is the place of your ‘birth’ into this world, perhaps it can be the place of your death as well. Not ‘death’, not some convoluted meaning of ‘dying' and becoming a new person, no you need to die. You need to die to ensure the people of Teyvat can remain on course. You are the virus here, you are the disease you need… you need to die.

Tears ran down your cheeks at such a resolute statement, sure youve thought about it all but now and truly you've decided that this is it, that you must do this. It's not like you want to die, not on a personal scale, but on a mental and emotional scale all this is too much, too much to bear and too much to live through.

It's not fair to leave the people you've so selfishly afflicted with your presence without giving them a reason but you are too much of a coward to tell it to their face. It wouldnt go well if you were to stand infront of Thoma and tell him you were going to kill yourself, thats for sure but at the very least he could get some form of an explanation.

You decide tonight is not the night you die, that would be tomorrow, you stand up from the ground and walk home, the weight of your choice still as raw as the moment you decide it, death is no light matter after all.

You get home, a small space a person like yourself could afford, only the basics of furniture and 2 rooms. There under your door lay a letter, you pick it up and sit at your table where unblemished paper sat to become future suicide notes. Taking a look at the letter it was sealed in wax, the crest of the Kamisato Clan dug into its mass.

You open it,

‘Dearist XXXX

May this letter find you well. Both Thoma and myself wish to invite you for a stay at the Kamisato Clan as both a guest and a friend. The changing season brings a beautiful opportunity to witness it first hand as the trees take on their new hues and the oceans change their tides, you are welcomed to join us. Thoma sends his best wishes but asks for them to properly be said in person rather than in post. We eagerly await your response.

Signed

Ayato’

Haha… how casual for a man like him… haha… haha here you are preparing to write letters announcing your death to them and yet they think only of including you in their lives. Haha… how horrible, how utterly vile it is to be able to experience emotions such as these. These feelings only prove your point more. You put the letter to the side and stared blankly at the response you are going to reply with, oh of only it were as optimistic and welcoming as theirs was.

You tried to make it easy for both yourself and those intended to read it. You state that the mistakes of your past have lay heavy on you and that death is the only relief, that you are sorry you cannot return the sentiment of friendship and must lay your mistakes to rest.

To Thoma you leave a more personal note, telling him that he made your life here in Inazuma so much better, that it was only in the moments with him you forgot your ‘mistakes’ for even a moment and for that you are grateful. It's true, it's only Thoma who made you forget the fact you don't belong here when you spend time with him. Sending this letter to him is assured to rip his heart, he sees you as a friend and he's going to beat himself at the thought that he did not help you enough to make you feel you'd want to stay, that he wasn't a good friend, which is not true at all but you know there is little you can do to convince him otherwise. In a moment of distressed induced vulnerability, with tears in your eyes you state something so cliche as that perhaps in another life you two may be able to have the friendship you both craved in this life, if only there is a case of reincarnation and you may be born in the same universe as him and live that life with no burdens or guilt of your existence.

To Ayato you are more cordial, less emotional or descriptive but you tell him that he was right on that day in the rain, that there is a deeper problem than you just being ‘introverted’, otherwise you keep it professional.

After the hardest two were done it was rather simple, it's not like you have any friends or family to write to and sending a letter to the street vendor you buy from doesnt make sense. You do write a letter and tell your boss that you simply will not be returning to work, you don't say why, and that you thank him for all the opportunities and help he has given you.

For once it was easy to fall asleep, for the first time in 2 years the moment you lay your head on your pillow you were unconscious. For once you've felt the release of the burden you feel and the comfort that will come when your plague on this world is done. You are so tired and finally you can rest.

The next day went on simply, it was a weekday and you went to work, in the afternoon you submitted your letters to the post and walked back home, taking in the scenery of Inazuma. This will be the last time you walk these streets. You wait at home quietly, have a decent meal and enjoy the sounds from outside of leaves and people. You felt in an odd state all the way through the day, like your senses were hypersensitive noticing the slightest thing around you which was lovely. You got to focus on the squirrles you passed on your way to work, the smell of baked bread smelled heavenly once again like it had the first day you were in the bakery, the pink and purple blossoms of the trees were so vibrant on your way home. You had given the shop vendor a smile and a wave as you passed her, that day you felt no burden, no grief. You only had one more step to take, the hard part was already over with.

In the late evening you stood by that beach again, the view was incredible. You sat down in the sand and got comfortable leaning against a rock and letting the tide touch the tips of your toes. You were naughty today, you bought enough substances from clinics or herb stands to be sure you felt good in your last moments. You took them quickly and then rested your head back against the rock, letting the sound of waves softly crashing, leaves rustling and the odd animal chirp lull your mind. It took some effort not to fall asleep just yet, you blinked your eyes harshly and woke yourself up a bit. This part was slightly uncomfortable, the beach you woke up on had a slight cliff, nothing you'd die by jumping off of, it was just a little steep incline but it was enough. You took a large rock from nearby and rolled it closer to the edge, tying a rope around and around your ankle. Drowning didn't seem like a peaceful death but at least like this your body can be washed into the sea where it can decay in peace without traumatising a random person strolling the beach. You relaxed and took out the large knife you had brought with you. Bleeding out decreases the time by knocking yourself out and not having enough energy to wake up in the water and struggle. You should be numb enough now. You closed your eyes and cut lengthwise, both arms, a leg… you tried your neck but even drugged up that was beyond doable. You didn't even register when you had stopped, you didn't see the blood flowing or feel the pain as it pooled, slowly your will died out as everything became hazed. It was a feeling, not a good or bad one, you couldn't even think. You felt the weight on your ankle tug, your consciousness dropping and allowing the gravity to pull you away. Black.

You woke up. You woke up. Dazed, in pain but you did. Your eyes opened lightly, luckily it wasn't very bright. Slowly your mind awoke as well, you saw the walls and crest oh so familiar of the Kamisato Clan, of its low light lanterns on the floor and dark wood trims. What were you doing here? What were you even doing?

Each of your senses woke up from the shock they were in and soon your ears picked up sound, at first the static was all you could hear until it was voices. You inclined your head to where the sound came from. Thoma and Ayato sat at a table, what they were talking about was inaudible. Why? Why were you here?

Everything slowly came back to you, what you did, why you did it and mainly the fact that you should be dead right now and yet you were here. Panic arose which was enough adrenaline to push your body and mind completely awake. You shuffled up and looked at the two. Thoma turned at the movement and instantly reached out for you, arms cradling your head which he buried his to your shoulder, a grasp seeking for comfort yet trying to give support.

“Archons above you're awake. My word… oh my word…,” he softly cried into your shoulder but picked his head up to look at you, “Why?! Why did you do that? Why did you feel…” his face was morphed into true distress, his eyes red and slightly swollen from no doubt a long time of distress but renewed with fresh tears. “Please, you are here, you are here and yet you wanted to go-” he choked, “Why, I nearly lost you.” his head fell back down to rest onto you, “I nearly lost you…”

His arms held you tightly, confirming that you were there.

Ayato finally announced himself with a soft clear of his throat, he stayed sitting at a distance.

“Thoma, they are safe and alive. We confirmed this the moment we got them here. “ he took a moment, thinking over his words. “How about you go prepare us a pot of tea and eats and we can discuss this once we all have gathered ourselves?”

Thoma lifted himself back up, “yes… yes you are right” he gave you a squeeze and a haste kiss on the crown of your head before standing and giving you a very strained smile, ‘everything is going to be okay’ it read. Quickly he turned and sped walked out as if staying in the room for too long would prohibit him from ever leaving you. Now it was just you and Ayato.

“Come sit please or do you need assistance getting up?”

You look down at your body, arms and legs patched up in bandages and feeling weak but with a struggled attempt you found you could stand up and walk to him before nearly falling into a sitting position and looking at him. He knows what's happened, he knows the aftermath and you don't.

Ayato sighed and shifted at papers on his desk, 2 in particular, the ones you had sent out.

“We got these well after we had saved you from your incident,” he looked up to you with something of a harsh look, “you can thank the fact one of my shibatsu were watching and stopped you from falling and promptly brought you here.”

He sighed, closed his eyes tense for a moment then released and folded the papers neatly. He returned his gaze back to you.

“I know, or at least suspect, what elements are at play here. The identity you have made for yourself here as an ex Sumeru scholar, that is false, correct?”

How… How did he figure that out?

“You need to speak now, for your and Thomas' betterment. No more lies, no more half trues, no more hiding because after an event such as the one you pulled yesterday I will no longer allow such threats so please, speak.”

You opened your mouth, it felt hoarse and sore. This is it. No more hiding, no more rules or running away, he can see it all, he will know, he probably does already.

“Yes.” is all you say.

An odd assortment of a smile crosses his face, not happy but at least pleased for the development, he then went back to his blunt nature.

“I will even be so bold as to say you are not here from Teyvat, correct?”

“Yes” tears built at your eyes. 2 years of work gone, 2 years of struggling to keep the truth bound, the thing you tried to die for to keep all gone.

“There are matters I do not understand, such as the truth of the reason for your attempt yesterday but what I do know is that you are not of Teyvat, that the way my sister looks at the Traveller is the exact same way Thoma looks at you, bewitched by some foreign entity.”

What?

“I know that the Traveller is not of Teyvat, they themself have stated this to both Ayaka and myself and it was a stretch at first to make the claim you were the same as them for the simple reason that Thoma fell for you as Ayaka did for the traveller but what perhaps confirmed my suspicion was when I felt that pull as well. For some reason the way my sister described her fondness for the traveller it was only you I could imagine, when I saw Thomas eyes alight in excitement at seeing you I could tell exactly what it is since I feel the same. For nearly no reason this feeling appeared.”

He cleared his throat and continued, “I didn't only come to this conclusion based on feeling, I, as I do with all those who involve themself with the members of the clan, had research done into your past. There is no record of your existence in any school of Sumeru, there is no record of anything proving of your past, no family line or even record of you arriving by boat which is all recorded by name, yours were on no such documents.”

He sighs and then relaxes his shoulders, like he is glad he's gotten the hard part over.

“Do not worry, I can assure you I see you no less as I did before and I can promise that Thoma is the same, he in fact needs to know the truth. I have not told him of my own discoveries just yet but when he gets back I hope you reveal the light of truth on everything here and the burden you decided to relieve yourself of.”

It's hard to actually listen to him, you are too busy swimming through the currents of your own thoughts to really hear what he has to say, if you had you'd have noticed just how fond he really was being, the slight curve of his forehead in concern, the way he spoke in a tone confident but also reassuring. Ayato is a man who puts his family, friends and the clan first, even in this instance he was doing that, whatever his personal feelings on the matter were they were subdued.

You look down to the table and see the fruits of your labour, sour, distasteful fruits that bore no other purpose but to make one sick on consumption: your letters. It seemed a good idea at first but now the sight of your handwriting was nauseating, you couldn't even bare properly rereading it, to see those words you meant to be comforting only being a stain and reminder to the people who had to read them of the bilious nature of your actions. Poor Thoma…

You had no words for Ayato, not out of fear or resentment but simply because it felt like you had disappointed him, the only way you could try to make this all better is to come clean about everything, he's made it clear, there is no more hiding. Now the weighting doom of changing the course of fate didn't matter, what mattered is the crestfallen frown on his face and mellow gaze, what mattered was the troubled Thoma in the other room whom grasped at you to stay so tightly even through all the torment you've lead him though. It's over, not the good kind of ‘over' like dying would have been, your life would be over and the secrets and threat you bring would have been over, no the ‘over’ you experience is the loss of hope. Its over, all the attempts and work, the secrets and efforts made to try keep this world as safe from changing as possible was all over.

Ayato let you mull in silence, he cleared his desk and closed his eyes in wait. Not long after Thoma returned, kettle in hand and cups at the ready. He seemed quiet, more collected and focused on the task of pouring tea before sitting next to you, his folded knee jutting up and down being the only show of his nerves. He took a breath, turned to you and smiled.

“I really do just want you to know I am happy you are still here, that I want to give you all the support and care I can to make sure you know you being here is just so important. I know that I don't understand everything you've gone through and that me saying all this doesn't help make it easier but-” he had to grit his teeth, his voice stirred slightly and slight beads of tears brimmed at his eyes,”but you don't have to be alone. Right now or even dealing with your past, you don't have to be alone.”

Your breathing hitched, chest lurched and fresh tears escaped, how couldn't you? You tried to cover your mouth of noises but couldn't help but curl into yourself and cry, you don't want to do this anymore, you want his support, you want to confide in him, you want to live. Thoma rubbed your back while you cried, gentle reaffirming strokes and just let you release all the build up. After regaining yourself you lifted yourself back up, swallowed the last fragments of tears and tried to secure yourself. You took some breaths and calmed down. Thoma held your shoulder, a physical display of support, you looked up and only saw Ayato watching with an unreadable expression. Right, you need to come clean. To… get it over with…

“Thoma, thank you for this, I'm sorry, I really am.” You could tell he tried to speak, to tell you it's okay or not your fault or something along those lines but he kept himself quiet and let you speak.

“I’ll… I'll come clean about it all, about everything.” This is it. “I'm not originally from Teyvat, I believe you know the Traveller and how they aren't either? Yeah I'm something like that. So no, I'm not from Sumeru or have lived here my whole life. Just woke up one day from my world into this one and… that was that. No explanation, no guide, no help…”

Ayato had no reaction, he knew, Thoma was wide eyed in shock but stayed silent, to him you shared memories of your ‘past’, to hear what you have shared with him was wrapped in falsification was… hurtful to know that what he did know of you was all a lie in his eyes but still, he remained silent and let you continue.

“I'm sorry, I am. I didn't want to lie and a lot of the stuff I did say is true. I just… I just covered it up to match my story of being from Sumeru.”

“It-It must be hard” Thoma meekly said, “to have lost everything, your home and family… I can see why things have been so hard and confusing for you.”

You nodded to his words. It is hard, it is bloody hard. All the plans you had made for your future, your loved ones and hopes… you'll never get to see them bloom, you'll never get to see the person you hoped you'd become because you had been stripped away from everything. The extra layer of knowing what world you came into and the threat you caused of course did not help lighten the load.

You've been away for 2 years and there is no hope of going back but you are here now and have to deal with the present.

“So that's basically it.”

Ayato's frown deepened, “There is more.” his words cut through the air bluntly. “There is more to the story you haven't told us, many things that don't add up-”

“Ayato please,” Thoma interrupted him, “let them say what they need and-”

“No, they said they would clear things up here and I will make sure it is so.” he moved his gaze back to you, it was penetrating into your soul nearly emotionlessly. “So I will ask, what is the truth to your ‘introvert’ label? Why distance yourself from others at random when in your position you are needing as much support as possible?”

Shit… shit shit shit, you can't even keep this? You can't even keep the fact you know this is a game secret? Whatever… he's right, you said you'd come clean.

“... I know things I really shouldn't if I was to make a life here. It may be confusing but in short the world of Teyvat is not where I was born but I know of it, I know of its people and some of its history and even select parts of its future. I was just… trying not to change the story. I was never supposed to be here, me being here goes against what's supposed to happen- I was scared I'd change something and things would go bad, that the good endings won't happen because I've done something so I tried to distance myself from it all but i've failed! I've failed and the story has changed and I don't know what's going to happen next!”

Thoma was quiet, now this was a bit too much for him to respond to but predicting the unpredictable is Ayato's strong suit, he didn't falter his questioning even at such a bizarre statement such as the one you made.

“Why? What element has changed that pushes you to believe you’ve doomed this world?”

“Ayaka left! She's not supposed to! I don't know how or why me existing changed the story but Ayaka was supposed to stay here in Inazuma and only Yoiymiya goes to Sumeru. Now its all wrong and I don't know just what else i've affected.”

Silence for a moment, Thoma still doing his best to soak in everything while Ayato shifted his gaze away from you, when he spoke he still refused to look you in the eye. “Hmm, seems your paranoia was proven right then, it is your presence that has changed the future you believe was to take place and in truth the fault is mine.” He looked back at you, “See when I heard of Ayakas excitement in the potential trip to Sumeru I thought it would be a great opportunity, not only for her to gain new experiences but also to ask you something i've had my mind on for a while.” Thoma perked at this, recognising what Ayato was referring to.

“I had hoped to ask you to extend your services to the Kamisato clan, in whatever element suited you, I assume in the kitchen though Thoma did not disagree with the idea of potentially aiding him in his duties.” What? He wanted you to join the clan? Why? Like reading your mind he answered your unspoken questions, “See I thought you being stationed here may help the issue you seemed to have about your ‘introvertness’ with Thoma as well as providing a fresh start for you to reforge your relation with him, of course this would all be a suggestion and if you didn't agree then there is no loss and you can simply continue as you were. That is why I encouraged Ayaka to go, not only for herself but to allow you some space to get used to the idea of potentially staying here.” So that's why… but still, why?!

Thoma interrupted your thoughts, a fresh wave of excitement running through him, “But it's okay now! Now you've let us know everything and sure it's a little hard for me to understand right now but things have been cleared up and everything can go back to normal! We can work on things together and you can rely on us for help so all the other stuff can just be put to the side for now.”

“I must disagree with that Thoma, things cannot go back to normal.” Both you and Thoma turned to Ayato for his explanation, “See they have brought forth an issue, if there is supposedly a prewritten fate we follow and such story has a good end, that their influence can change such story and has already proven to do so then… that is something to consider as a threat.”

“What? No, Ayato-”

“Thoma, I am not suggesting we take the route they tried, their death is not a solution but rather I suggest the best way to reduce the effect they have is to narrow the area of impact of their presence.” Thoma sat himself back down and listened, his ability to understand Ayato far surpassed your own, you only heard his words, Thoma was on the same scale as him. “Ah, so you suggest they stay here?”

Huh? No, that still doesn't solve the issue though! You are still going to change stuff, being in the clan may make it even worse!

“I'm sorry but that can't happen!” you state, you cant let them doom themselves,”I can't stay here, you've seen I change the things around me so me being here is not a solution.”

“And what do you suggest then? Death is not an answer. Wherever you go you will impact the environment around you, is it not wise to be in an area that is accustomed to handling threats and problems? To be within the vicinity and means of a place such as here with people like Ayaka and myself whom can negate such issues? That is even under the assumption you can cause damage with your existence, all we know is that you can change this supposed ‘plot’ but have you seen any actual harm come from it?”

Your silence answers him.

“Right, though it is important to be concerned and prepared. Staying here is no prison I can assure you,” his smile brightens up to a chuckle “in fact my original plan was for it to be a holiday for you. The environment is interesting to explore, there is much you can learn from the people here and most of all friends who are willing to show you support which it seems you so desperately need. To me there is no questioning it, staying here is the best course of action for you.”

You could have thought up a retort, some explanation as to why he was wrong and why going back to your ‘normal’ life was better but there is a certain air around Ayato in moments like this where doubting his reasoning is unheard of and denying them is impossible. He was right, he's always right after all.

“Are you sure? Are you sure this is all… this is all okay? Is me being here okay?”

“For further confirmation, yes it is. Thoma?”

Thoma grasped your shoulder again and leaned to your side, a great wave of support rushing from him, “I think it's an awesome plan. You don't have to worry about a thing, we’ll all have it settled for you!”

“Right, could you go make sure their room is properly prepared? I'd imagine they need some rest after all this. A proper, peaceful sleep can do wonders to soothe the soul and you will find no safer place than under my roof. “

Thoma used your shoulder for a moment to get himself back up, “I'll be back in a jiffy okay!” and made a quick pass to the backrooms.

You and Ayato watched him go in silence, when he was out of sight and out of earshot Ayato repositioned himself.

“He does not know about the foreign effect you may have on him. Once again it is only a theory to suggest that just because you and the Traveller are not of Teyvat you have some bewitching effect but there are some elements of truth to such a theory, still I think it is unwise to tell him this. To tell him his feelings are fabricated would break him…” Ayato closed his eyes and sighed, he looked tired, “And it truly would be a shame to name these-those feelings as false.”

That wouldn't be good… “Okay, I won't tell him about it. … …” you really are tired, your mind isnt working as it should anymore. The adrenaline of shock has worn down and the latent feeling of exhaustion had begun to ebb its way through your very bones, at a moment of self reflection you felt your arms so much heavier to hold, legs stiffened all while the dim pain of the wounds across your body became recognisable. A good rest is what you need…

Ayato didn't say a word after, only left you to your own musings.

“It's all set up! There are fresh towels and guest clothes if you want to bathe but otherwise it was all pretty much done!” Thoma did a slight jog to your side and offered you a hand, “You need help getting there?”

You look up at him, for a room rather dim he outshone the very sun itself. “I think I just want to rest for now, i'll bathe later.” You reach up and take his hand, do a little wobble as you reconnect with the notion of having to walk, Thoma readily supplied his elbow for you to hold onto as well as you got your balance.

“Alrighty. Just hold on and don't shy away from leaning your weight on me okay? I've got you.” you two take a few tentative steps to test it out, walking seemed doable now.

“I'll send them off to bed, i'll be back shortly my lord.”

Ayato looked back at you two and gifted a smile, “Rest well then.” you did a slight nod in return.

Even with the support of Thoma and still retaining the ability to walk the short trip down the hall seemed so much more of a struggle then it should have. Not only was your body in dull pain but your mind was simply tired, overrun and everything slowly seemed to mesh into each other. Thoma was true to his word and kept you upright, guiding you to a neatly made bed and gently easing you into the cushioning. After 2 years of a cheap bed and your most recent nap being in the sand and hardwood floor the feeling of high quality bedding was sensational, a moment of respite from feelings and thoughts.

“You all settled in?” Thomas' voice sounded muffled in your half sleep state but you registered him with a nod.

“I'm glad…”

The cushions you lay on shuffled, his weight sat nearby you. “You know you really did scare me there, when I saw- when you were brought here in the state you were I didn't know what to do, something so unlike me. I didn't know if I wanted to rush for medical care or just to slump down beside you and cover you.” He leaned down, his head lay on the mattress beside your shoulder, his one arm wrapped around you, an awkward hug of one person sitting and another laying down. “At least I can do this now, please just let me indulge in this for a little, everything is just a lot to take in still.” He sighed out his tension then shifted his head to lean slightly on yours. “I know this is wrong of me but in truth I can be rather selfish. I want to be selfish here and not only show you how much I care for you but also how much I love you which is wrong because… because I don't love you. It would be insensitive to both you and myself to label this obsessive feeling as ‘love’ and I don't want to do that… Only now, only now will I be a little selfish and join in the delusion that this is love.”

…

“but I want to make this scalding passion of deranged obsession into the soft warmth I know it can be, of genuine endearment and not just an infatuation.”

He lifted himself to finally look at you, he had tears running down his face, “So you can't go. You can't leave me until that happens. You can't leave until I can properly say I love you, okay? I'll be here every step of the way, you can lean on me, you can trust me and I'll give you my everything so please give it your all and just… keep finding the incentive to keep going.” He pursed his lips in a strained attempt of a smile, gave up on trying and instead leant back down to give the crown of your head a kiss. He got up and stood by your side. “Sleep well, I'm sure tomorrow will be the start to a beautiful new future.” He closed the door and left.

If you had been in a more stable sense of mind there was a lot you could have responded to him, the not-so love confession, the odd descriptions of desperation and just how close he got but your mind was fazed, Thoma gave you nothing but comfort as you went to bed, he hugged you and told you it will be okay and that was nice, the feeling of the linin was nice, the chance to close your eyes was nice… He left you off with a nice feeling.

“All is settled then?”

“Yep, they should have no problem falling asleep, they were practically already unconscious once we got there.”

Ayato laughed and Thoma sat back at his original position, by now Ayato had taken out some late night documents to go over while waiting.

“So, did you tell them?”

“Hmm? Which part?”

“haha, your feelings Thoma, knowing you you would have.”

Thoma on reflex scratched the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly at being so easily caught.

“Yeah I did though with the state they were in they probably didn't hear any of it.”

“Which is why you felt you could tell them hmm?” Ayato looked up to Thoma with a knowing eye, “You are just as bad as me you know.”

“haha, have I been caught? You really can't blame me though, I learnt all my skills from you.”

“And yet at times I wonder if you are even more skilled than I when it comes to swaying one's mind.”

“yeah…” Thoma dulled off, “I'm still confused about it all. I care, that part is undoubted and all the time we spent together really means something but I just can't put my hand on all these feelings. It's not what I think love feels like, not entirely. Haaaa, all I know is that I want to be by them and I guess that will do for now until I figure it all out.” Thoma shifted his weight and got more comfortable, “What about you though? Such feelings are just disruptive to you, right?”

Ayato hummed,”Perhaps but that is nothing I can't deal with and as you can see I am dealing with it. I do hope the notion of sharing isn't distasteful to you, I know we've met a consensus about this but I want to ensure we are on the same page here. Your friendship is much too important to risk over miscommunication.”

“haha of course! Your feelings are just as valid as mine.”

“Good.” Ayato smiled fondly then returned to his papers. Thoma sighed in mock exhaustion, “That's the face you pull when you're thinking about work. Haha, I will leave you to your important papers, do not work too much and fall asleep at your desk again, okay? You don't want to be ruining your back at such a young age.”

“haha. Yes Thoma, good night.”

“Goodnight my lord, just let me know if you need anything done alright!”

“You know I will.”

Ayato shook his head at his friends teasing, it is fun when Thoma is the one responding with tauts of his own. Thoma left Ayato to his business in the slightly dimmed room.

For as much as Thoma has grown around Ayato, for being the closest person to understand him and balance the position of respectful employee and casual friend, it is still funny to Ayato how he can still be so oblivious to things. Of course his mind is not only on work, however could it be when finally you were in his home, in his care and finally he can display his… love.

Rest is crucial for recovery, on any normal day you'd let guilt swallow you for staying in bed for as long as you have this day, waking up in the late morning and simply laying in bed till afternoon, this is peak sloth behaviour but in all you deserve it, you are on ‘holiday’ you are allowed to be a little lazy here. After waking up you had gone through quite a bit of internal conflict, between failing to ‘delete’ yourself of this world, revealing everything, going through the motions and now seemingly stuck here it's all just a lot to process. There is joy brought from the relief that you no longer must carry these burdens but also disgust that you have let the situation get to the state that it is in now. Everythings changed yet at the core nothing has. When your mind tired of thinking it just wallowed in the present feelings, how lovely the bedding is, how scenic the light looks coming from the window, how lovely the atmosphere of the room is, you had been left off with such a lovely feeling last night, odd considering the nature the night took, but for some reason everything just felt so comfortable when you let your mind just dissipated and ease into the surroundings. Eventually you figured you should get up, that there was enough strength in your legs to keep you steady. You got changed into the provided clean clothes and left to find someone to ask about getting something to eat. It's rather awkward walking these halls not knowing where you are meant to be but Thoma and Ayato said you were a guest so it should be fine. You reached the main clearing where Ayato's desk sat, where you three conversed last night, and as if nothing had changed since then Ayato was sat exactly where he had been left off, his eyes scanning papers and writing or editing others, he placed his brush down as you entered.

“Good afrternoon, I hope you were able to sleep well. Shall I arrange for someone to prepare you a meal?”

It's still slightly odd to be casual with Ayato after last night but if this is how things are going to go from now on then you truly do need to get used to it.

“Yes and yes please, thank you.” you gave a slight bow, you can't help being awkward no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise.

Ayato chuckled, of course he did, he saw the world in 4D compared to you, of course he found something funny. “Then please, have a seat. Any meal requirements?”

You word off your response and Ayato relays it to a staff member he calls in. After the order was completed Ayato went back to his work while also starting the conversation, hes easily noticed a pattern when it comes to your reluctance to initiate it in your own stead.

“Now that you have some free time from work, are there any activities you'd like to try? I want you to consider your time here as a holiday and for that I will provide whatever materials you need to make that happen.”

“Oh, no. I'd just like to relax for a bit before making any plans on activities.”

“haha, I meant anything to help with that. Do let me know when you think of anything, there are very few items I cannot provide so the options are yours to demand.”

“mhm…” you nod your head but say little else. Ayato lets this slide and allows you to sit in your peace. In time a well prepared meal is brought to you, you sit to the side of the room and eat with yourself as company, as it has been for the last 2 years. 2… years… Your previous life really is just gone now, everything is gone. You don't have anything, you don't have to do anything, you don't have- no you do have some things. You have a supportive friend, Thoma, you have… Ayato perhaps? He says he will provide for you. What else do you have?

Nothing, you cant even say you have your own life to live, you cant even do that.

Quickly you swallow down both your thoughts and the least of your meal, you've brooded enough today doing it more won't help. You thank the person who takes what remains of your meal and then rejoin Ayato who, much to your surprise, has not left his spot (the surprise being sarcastic since it would shock no one to see the head of a clan swamped in governmental affairs). You walk back up to his table almost as if awaiting orders or just something to tell you what to do, where you should be just anything to help alleviate the concern of not being where you belong. Ayato let his brush lay back on the table, he closed his eyes and sighed as an indulgent smile graced his face. When he looked back up to where you so awkwardly stood he showed only adoration shortly broken as he shakes his head with a chuckle.

“This may surprise you, I know this isn't the proper setting to say this,’ he stood up and made his way to you, “but I do so enjoy being unpredictable and I can't pass up on this opportunity.” he stood right in front of you, posture poised and proper but radiating only mischief. “My dear I must confess i've come to love you.”

Huh-

You feel a hand on your cheek. “There it is, what a pretty expression.”

huh…

The hand cups around your flesh, leather to skin, chill to warmth.

“It's true. I do adore you-”

“no…”

“hmm?”

“you can't…”

“haha, really I can-”

“No. You Can't!”

You grit your teeth as you feel your hands begin to shake. He can't, he can't love you, that's too much, too much of an impact. The change, the change that could come from him LOVING you, no its too much. Your hands move to grip the arm reached to you, “you- you can't. You just- that's not how… how any, any of-” you are crying again, surprising how your body still has enough tears to shed after everything. You can't feel your legs anymore, they aren't working again, your hands are shaking, they aren't working again, you can't feel yourself breath, you are not working again. You don't register yourself fall, you only see the rise of doom again. Everything was fine, you had JUST accepted your situation but you can't accept this. This is going to change everything- it's so hard to breathe…

Ayato kneeled down with you, he held his one arm to your waist leaning you into him as his other cradled the back of your head, fingers intertwining between the strands of your hair and stroking along in a calm motion.

“I was scared of this but I felt it best to tell you now. In truth I was devastated with the events of yesterday but held on for as much as I could to secure everyone, it is only fair I am open to you as you were with us.”

no-

“The love I have for you is true and it would be my greatest honour to support you as I do with my clan, with you as a part of the clan.”

no-

“I understand your fears, whatever concerns you have of the future changing. I want you to know I am well resourced to handle them.”

You can only cry.

“It is early for me to confess but it is my sign to you that I hope for a future where we may share such a sentiment. We can grow together and face your fears together.”

why-

His hand strokes feel reassuring…

"Your tears remind me of the rain, both comforting and disturbing. How I cringe at each drop yet yearn to hear them patter against me. My dear please do remember for each storm or drizzle you bring to me I will open my arms for whichever embrace you bring."

You lean back into him, he's got you.

“To know you are here is reassurance enough, I want- I do love you.”

For as comforting as his hold is, for how easy it feels to accept his words it all feels murky. You lay in the sun-touched waters of the ocean, warm as it engulfs you in the most pleasing manner but it is sticky, it clings to you and you cannot shake the feeling of the undercurrent grasping at your ankle slowly leading you deeper into its embrace, it's easier to accept.

Ayato is right, he's always right and here he is offering you his love. You have been given the best opportunity you could ever achieve considering your situation, you have been given the freedom to finally ‘live’. With Thoma supporting you and Ayato willing to address any threat that may come you have been given a beautiful new start at a paranoid free life and not only that but to be graced as to have someone love you as well? It's amazing, you are so lucky.

“That's it my dear, I am here at your side.”

You sink into his arms, your cries can finally stop. “If we believe that tomorrow will come, we can bear a hardship today. For today, tomorrow and everyday that follows you may cry, you may hurt but you will never be alone. Alright? Do not feel pressured by my confession, I merely want to show you that you are loved.”

Ayato sighs deeply and readjusts to hold you tighter, lays his head on yours and remains quiet but the stroking of his hand never stops. The time flows by easily, your arms stop shaking, your breathing returns, you can sense your body's weight so clearly but you can feel the pillar that is Ayato keeping you up.

"Thank you." you mumble eventually

Ayato hums in question

"Thank you for everything. thank you for… loving me"

You can feel the wide smile grace Ayato, “You needn't thank me for something so natural.”

You don't clearly register the world around you while enveloped in Ayato's hold but you can hear footsteps, someone speaking, someone sitting nearby. Ayato's shoulder is cool and refreshing, the hand that holds yours at the side is cosy and tender, you are so lucky.

An explanation blurb for those who want to read some of the reasonings for how i went about this

Header done by me cause i felt like whipping up a quick pixel art

#yahooworks #genshin x gn reader #x gender neutral reader #genshin impact ayato #genshin thoma #yandere male #genshin x reader #yandere thoma x reader #yandere ayato x reader #yandere ayato #yandere thoma #genshin x female reader #genshin x male reader

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