#because technically it's a new account... different name

[denizenhardwick]

OH FUCK YEAH WE'RE IN BUSINESS BABEYYYY!!!

[sunarryn]

DP X Marvel #7

Tony Stark had seen a lot of wild things in his life—aliens, Norse gods, sentient killer bots made by his own two hands—but nothing, nothing, could’ve prepared him for the day a literal ghost boy phased through the ceiling of Stark Tower and declared, “You’re my godfather now.”

Tony blinked. “…Did I drink last night?”

“No,” Pepper called from another room. “You’ve been sober for two years.”

“Right. Just checking. Then who the hell is this glowing child and why does he think I’m his godfather?”

Danny Fenton, age seventeen, half-ghost disaster and walking teenage trauma case, stood in the middle of the floor with glowing green eyes and the confidence of a raccoon that’s already tipped over the trash can. “Because I’m emotionally damaged and in need of a stable father figure who isn’t a power-obsessed megalomaniac with Oedipal issues.”

Tony stared.

Danny stared back.

Tony raised a brow. “Are you talking about your actual dad or—”

“Vlad Masters,” Danny spat like the name was poison. “He’s rich, insane, and wants to kill my dad and marry my mom. And I’m pretty sure he’s legally stalking me. So… yeah. You’re the anti-Vlad. Congratulations. You’re my godfather now.”

Tony looked like he was buffering. Then a slow, terrible grin crawled across his face. “…Hell yeah I am.”

And that was that. Danny Fenton moved into Stark Tower and the next day Tony updated the JARVIS files with: “New priority directive: Protect Ghost Goblin 1 (Danny Fenton).”

Then Peter Parker, long-suffering, perpetually confused, and not emotionally prepared for whatever was happening lately, stared as Danny literally walked through his bedroom wall and flopped onto his bed like they’d known each other for years.

“You ever heard of doors?” Peter asked, voice cracking slightly because holy hell the new godchild Tony was parading around was cute. Even if he looked like he hadn’t slept since the Cold War.

Danny ignored him. “Tony said I should ‘hang out with the spider boy’ because we’d be ‘trauma-compatible.’” He rolled over and stared at Peter upside-down. “Are you trauma-compatible, Peter?”

Peter looked to the heavens like they would help him. “I’m not emotionally ready for this conversation.”

“Cool. Me neither.” Danny pulled a full-size Fenton Thermos out of somewhere and sipped from it like it was a soda. “Wanna make out or emotionally repress things together?”

Peter sputtered. “Wh—WHAT?!”

Danny grinned with all his teeth. “That’s what Tony said you’d do. Panic adorably. You’re kinda proving his point.”

Meanwhile, Tony Stark was committing several war crimes from his living room.

“I’ve traced the GIW’s funding to three offshore accounts, two shell corporations, and one extremely sus Girl Scout cookie fundraiser. I’m calling in a missile strike in 3… 2…”

“Tony, no,” Pepper said without looking up from her tablet.

“Tony, YES.”

Tony had decided, rather quickly, that the GIW (Guys In White, a government ghost hunting agency that was somehow even more evil and incompetent than HYDRA on bath salts) needed to be permanently deleted from existence. Preferably with fire.

And when he found out that Danny’s biological parents had been working with them?

Tony sent Jazz a college fund with so many zeroes it crashed her banking app.

Jazz, who was nineteen, brilliant, and terrifying in the most Pepper Potts-coded way, politely declined Tony’s offer to adopt her.

Though she did let Pepper start mentoring her.

Within a month, she was managing several Stark subsidiary companies, speaking at conferences, and had already physically thrown three men out of boardrooms.

Tony watched her threaten a corrupt investor once and whispered, “That’s my girl—wait no, Pepper’s girl. Same difference.”

And then there was Dani.

Technically, Danielle. Biologically fifteen. Chronologically five. Personality-wise? A feral gremlin hopped up on ghost energy and sibling issues.

She and America Chavez met at a Stark Industries youth outreach event and instantly bonded over being “multiverse anomalies with authority issues.”

Now they were best friends, terrorizing New York and the surrounding dimensions like it was a competitive sport.

“DANI GET OFF THAT DINOSAUR.”

“YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU’RE NOT MY MOM.”

“AMERICA PUT THE SORCERER SUPREME DOWN.”

“HE STARTED IT.”

Stephen Strange started keeping antacids in his cape.

Meanwhile, Dani kept calling Tony “Iron Dad” and trying to hotwire the Quinjet for “ghost girl reasons.” Nobody could stop her. Nobody even tried anymore.

And then—as if the chaos weren’t enough—Dan showed up.

Danny’s alternate universe self, aged up to 21 because time travel is rude, and fused with Vlad in a Frankenstein disaster combo of trauma, rage, and nuclear hotness.

Dan was chaos incarnate.

He crashed through a multiversal rift during breakfast and immediately tried to flirt with Loki.

Loki, sipping tea in the kitchen, barely looked up. “You smell like war crimes and daddy issues.”

Dan purred, “You smell like abandonment trauma and repressed bisexuality.”

“Stop flirting with the Asgardian war criminal!” Jazz yelled from across the room.

“IT’S CALLED DIPLOMACY,” Dan yelled back.

Vlad, for his part, tried to retaliate by showing up at Stark Tower in a suit and monologuing about betrayal, destiny, and how Danny was meant to be his son/heir/lovechild/successor/whatever.

Tony tased him.

No hesitation. No words. Just taser.

Vlad hit the ground like a sack of sad midlife crisis potatoes.

“JARVIS,” Tony said cheerfully, “Put him in a cage. Have it labeled: Delusional Walmart Dracula.”

“Yes, sir.”

Later, Tony sold DALV.CO for one dollar to Pepper, who then dismantled the company in less than 72 hours and donated the parts to ghost safety research in underfunded schools.

Danny cried. “You guys are like… functional, emotionally regulated versions of the Addams family.”

Pepper patted his head. “We try.”

One day, Nick Fury called.

“I want an explanation,” Fury growled, “for why there’s a ghost child joyriding a helicarrier, a teenager that can rip holes in space-time, a clone spray painting ‘eat my ecto-butt’ on Avengers Tower, and why the hell Loki is apparently married to a fusion of two ghosts!”

Tony just sipped his drink and said, “It’s called found family, Baldy.”

Fury blinked. “What?”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

Peter, off-camera, shouted, “DANNY STOP TRYING TO PHASE THROUGH MY WALL I SAW THAT.”

“You can’t stop me, Peter!”

“YES I CAN, THIS IS A RENT-CONTROLLED BUILDING.”

“I love you too!”

And somewhere, across the infinite multiverse, Clockwork watched all of this with a sigh and a sip of tea.

He was going to need so much aspirin.

[ivys-garden]

Wild Life Spoilers: Session 2 Alliance Report:

Teams:

The Spanners - (Mumbo, Grian, Skizz) - formerly the Sub One Club, immediately forget their idea of using crawl mode and lament that they can't be sub one anymore. Mumbo then decides they are “The Floaters��� due to them becoming obsessed with the levitation ability. Luckily this doesn't stick because I could not handle an alliance that changes name every session. Mumbo and Skizz built their “base” as a series of bridges, leading to Mumbo calling them “The Spanners” since “they span things”.

Speaking of levitation, they died from that. And starvation. This was not Mumbo or Skizzes session, with Mumbo losing two life's and Skizz losing 3, halfing his amount of lives in one session. If Skizz loses one next week he will be yellow. Seems Grian's curse of outlining his alliance has started early.

The Bam-Boozelers - (Scar, Lizzie, Jimmy)

I normally have a lot of faith in all life series teams. I think anyone can make it to the end. I think this so long as it is not abundantly clear that they're doomed. I never say someone is Doomed from the star-

This team is doomed from the start. Immediately they decide that the Wild Card is that he can't heal from hunger, now this is a good first thought and is shared by other teams, though those other teams immediately realised that if that were the Wild Card everyone would die of hunger and started looking for other options.

These 3? They stuck with that idea and started making boats to travel. When they realised that their hunger reduced passively, they panicked until Grian saved them by telling everyone in chat that they could eat anything. Now, armed with this knowledge they just have to find a good and easy to use food source.

They chose stone shovels. An item that cannot be stacked and required way more effort and resources to make than was worth it. And they stuck by this even as others told them about better foods. They only stopped using shovels because of the randomisation.

How is Jimmy the most confident member on his team?

In other news, they're theme park is going well and Lizzie's Parrot is cute. Jimmy also apparently has “Big Mascot Energy”.

Renwood - (Martyn, Ren)

These dogs are just vibing. They each lose a life each, no big deal. A far cry from previous seasons, Ren is just chilling, Not going after anyone unless they go after them first and trying to get Martyn to do the same. And he actually does, not attacking anyone this session at all. He even gives up going after Jimmy for stealing their cows (an action which was by every account deserved.)

The Tuff Guys (Tango, Etho, Bdubs) (not technically together (?))

Ah yes, Team B.E.S.T without Skizz …. Considering Skizz was the only person keeping Team B.E.S.T from imploding, this can only go well!

Yeah this team is not staying together. Technically they're already breaking up, with Bdubs saying they should only look out for themselves and insisting they live in different houses. Bdubs even cements this mentality by fully encouraging Scar to help kill Tango for no reason.

As for the “Tuff” part, Etho has decided that they need to be tougher and take what they want from people. You know, not to be nice or polite.

Luckily we can see how this works in practice, as Gem encourages him to go be tough to the Final Girls, let's see how Etho is an not being nice:

● he greets Scott and Cleo

● makes small talk

● politely asks for copper

● tries to stop Pearl stealing from them since he doesn't know she's on they're team

● takes more of the stuff he was told he could have

● gives them obsidian in return anyway

● and still feels bad about it.

Yeah not only was this the least tough Etho had ever been, the Girls almost certainly didn't notice and probably won't even care when they do. Great job Etho.

The Fast And The Furious (Gem, Joel)

This session, Gem announced her plan to make friends so people don't judge them based on 5 seasons worth of going insane every time they go red. This lasts for 3 minutes before other people arrive, Scar misunderstands instructions, Etho lets the cops out and the Final Girls partake in their favourite pastime of miscommunication and insisting their own teammates are doing something they aren't.

Other attempts to make friends do go better, with Gem arguably being on good terms with everyone except two people. So that's good.

Gem also builds a cute little Bard that I give a session before it's burnt down or has a Creeper hole in it. Joel spends all session building a car. Everyone on the server thinks it's hideous, mainly because it is hideous.

The Final Girls - (Scott, Pearl, Cleo, Impulse, Bigb)

Somehow the most stable team here, even if it is mostly out of spite. Yeah this team will stay together, the core four have never betrayed anyone unless an outside faction is involved. They're safe. Even if they continue the tradition of forgetting all the bad stuff they did and only reimbursing bad stuff their teammates did (what do you mean Pearl doesn't trust people based on what happened in previous seasons? That was you, Cleo!)

Oh Bigb also joined this session. Though I imagine this will be a Heart Foundation situation where he bases alone despite being on the team.

Scott and Cleo spend a lot of time this session fixing the mistakes Pearl and Impulse make by acting how they always do. A house and wall are built and Pearl and Impulse prepare revenge plans on Grian and Martyn. Pearl encourages Impulse not to tell the others, seemingly forgetting that Cleo and Bigb are addicted to revenge and would have no problem with this.

Alliances and Friendships:

Lizzie and Gem

these two agree to team up if their teammates die. Since their teammates are idiots.

Remember, Lizzie is the one who made the stone shovel plan.

Spanners Vs Bammers

The Bam-Boozelers still hate the Spanners, dropping their reputation all the way to zero. Mumbo and Skizz either don't realise this or don't care. Grian was gone almost all session mining so can't really say what his thoughts on the situation are.

The Family - (Joel, Etho, Gem)

Etho is indoctrinated into yet another family, though he seems more willing to be present for this one. When Tuff Guys breaks up like 5 minutes into session 3, we all know where he's going.

Also Scar might also be part of the family though every else seems to just ignore this.

Spanners Vs Tango

The Spanners are really angry at Tango for accidentally killing Skizz. They seem satisfied with manifesting his death through belief, but it seems they haven't let him off the hook yet. We all know Bdubs won't help him

Joel might also be mad at Tango since he ate the wheels of his ugly car.

Mumbo & Jimmy still hate Renwood

Mumbo still doesn't trust Martyn after the enchanter fiasco and Jimmy attempts to get revenge for the cow theft. Ren and Martyn have chosen to ignore this, Mumbo seems to have forgotten he was angry, and Jimmy is satisfied that he got revenge.

Ren buys his friends

Ren bought Gem and Tangos friendship through iron. Will this hold up? No.

Gem has beef with team oblivious

Gem hates Pearl and Impulse this season. They are at the top of her inevitable murder list.

● The Final Girls came round for a visit

● Impulse was accused of stealing

● He said he wouldt stela since he knows what it's like to be stolen from

● Gem took this as him amusing her of stealing

● Scott cut him off before he could explain himself by saying he was purposely antagonising them

● Gem cut both of them off by ranting about how much she doesn't trust them

Stellar miscommunication guys, great job as always. Please never change, the series would be way less funny if you did.

Pearl also made it worse by trying to Poison Gem 30 minutes later. Woopsie.

Neither Pearl nor Impulse notice that Gem hates them and the others refuse to tell them.

[chirpycloudyrobin]

Previous || Masterlist || START || Next

wei wuxian had barely dusted off the magma from the kiln off his person when he gets rudely yanked to mo village and mo xuanyu's side. he appears before mo xuanyu still in his bloodied yiling laozu set up and theyre both ??? confused as fuck because what the hell that wasnt supposed to happen !

turns out the whole sacrificial summon array didnt account for the possibility of summoning a ghost king. so there was no soul replacement, mo xuanyu is still alive, and wei wuxian once again walks with the living. ish. hes still dead. technically

now what ?

well mo xuanyu mustve been pretty desperate to unsubscribe from the reincarnation cycle just to get revenge on his family so wei wuxian hears him out ,,, and really really doesnt like the hand that mo xuanyu has been dealt with in his life so hes like welp time to tap into ye olde wuxian the helping hand. might as well bring in some justice now that hes back and better than ever !

but first wwx shldnt walk around looking like the entire cultivation world's worst nightmare so they brainstorm a new identity for him in that little shack.

they end up deciding that wwx will be a distant mo cousin. for wwx's disguise, he gave himself the birth name mo ling and the courtesy name mo shanxi. he is mo yi, courtesy name mo xuanyu's, other maternal cousin but like further down the family tree. a fourth son of a fourth son. parents dead, siblings dead. lots of fours, lots of death in the identity and the name. it's funni, cuz wwx is dead and hes a ghost and- you get the idea.

mo shanxi's an eccentric ex-rogue cultivator whose cultivating career ended early at the hands of the late core-melting hand. he has no sword because no core. hes friendly with crows because rogue cultivator things. he has a dizi because hes a traveler, a peasant, decidedly not gentry. an absolutely fool-proof disguise. no one would guess hes wei wuxian at all ! no one !

they still bust into the meeting between madam mo and the lan juniors and wwx helps mxy embarrass the entire family. they also still stay around to watch shit happen and it's during this time where wwx gives mxy practical lessons on fighting and cultivation. not demonic cultivation, mind, wwx doesnt want to damage mxy's fledgling golden core.

mxy is witness firsthand how wwx just bluescreens and takes A Minute to process seeing adult lan wangji. mxy knows that lwj is One Fine Ass Man and he, too, would undoubtedly climb lwj like a tree but wwx's reaction to lwj is just ,,, different.

hm, mxy thinks. interesting.

soon wwx snaps out of his "holy-shit-lwj" trance, grabs mxy's hand and skedaddles out of there. its funny, its camp, mxy has more questions than answers.

the entire mo family (besides mxy) is dead. the contract is complete. mxy is free.

"ykw," wwx thinks. "let's be rogue cultivators and ill teach you everything i know !" "i have absolutely nothing better to do," mxy says. "fuck it, lets go" "great ! for ur first lesson lets check out that story of a soul eating entity at dafan mountain" "what"

so ! dafan mountain. lessons going good, mxy has a good head on his shoulders. and then wwx accidentally insults his shijie's child. and then he and mxy are trapped between jc and lwj. and then they ,,, get out of it unscathed ? um

whatever, back to the lessons !

mxy was not having the best time in his life. shit got way out of hand way too quickly. he cant do anything to help in the fight so hes just trying to keep himself alive while wwx is trying to save everyone. theres too many crows and ravens yelling.

... why the fuck is wwx playing a dizi badly ?

mxy knows wwx is some kind of powerful ghost or whatever but now is not the time for a bad dizi concert ! senior wei please !!

mxy just feels really out of his depths right now as he watches everything unfold from his safe(ish) place high up a tree with a couple of wwx's creepy red-eyed crows.

he watches as the fucking ghost general answers wwx's dizi calls apparently ? (mxy may be half insane but he still knows the ghost stories they all tell about the yiling laozu and his ghost general)

he watches as wwx attempts to lead the ghost general to safety, and how his attempt is thwarted by none other than hanguang-jun himself. and then mxy is forced to watch the world's most awkward, most tense reunion in all the earth.

and then mxy sees sandu shengshou fucking whip wwx and attempt to do it a second time and he really, really cant just sit there and watch his saviour and senior be bullied.

so mxy jumps down, startles the living shit out of everyone, and proceeds to yell at them all. accuses jc of harrassment, of abuse of power, of weird kinks. wwx catches onto what mxy is doing and joins in the insanity, adding that lwj is more his type for good measure

senior wei, mxy thinks, watching lwj gaze at wwx with something in his eyes. what the actual fuck ?

if anyone asks how the hell they both ended up becoming guests at the cloud recesses, mxy will gladly tell them that it's all wwx's fault. at least mxy ended up being roomed at actual guest quarters. god knows what kind of shit is happening with wwx getting roomed in the jingshi of all places

NAME NOTES

Mò Yí (莫怡) — mo xuanyu's birthname in this au ! i like to think his mother gave him that birth name because she really wanted him to have a happy future :]

Mò Líng (莫玲) — 玲 is an onomatopoeia, referring to the sound jades make when they are hit. i like to think wwx chose this name on the spot absolutely not thinking about how a certain jade was doing lol

Mò Sh��nxì (莫善戲) — now this one is fun ! i took this from one of the poems in the Classic of Poetry aka Shijing aka the oldest existing collection of Chinese poetry and one of the Five Classics. it's taken from the third paragraph of the poem Qi Yu from the Odes of Wei (as in the state of Wey. unfortunately not the same wei in wwx's name. thats a diff state)

瞻彼淇奧、綠竹如簀。 有匪君子、如金如錫、如圭如璧。 寬兮綽兮、猗重較兮。 [善戲] 謔兮、不為虐兮。 Look at those recesses in the banks of the Qi, With their green bamboos, so dense together! There is our elegant and accomplished prince, - [Pure] as gold or as tin, [Soft and rich] as a sceptre of jade! How magnanimous is he and gentle! There he is in his chariot with its two high sides! Skilful is he at quips and jokes, But how does he keep from rudeness in them!

so 善戲 should translate to "good at theatrical shows" as in he's good at putting on a show ! since mo ling is essentially just a role wwx is playing and all lmao. BUT ALSO the last sentence where i took the characters describes wwx pretty well. the sentence describes the lord aka the subject of the poem as someone who is good at playing games, jokes etc. but his jokes would never be intended to harm or to be rude. so wwx :]

his disguise's courtesy name also has a nice though subtle common element w lan wangji's birth name since the zhan is thought to also be taken from the five classics uwu

[delicateperspective]

let’s talk about media literacy

especially when it comes to tabloids. because when you’re following someone like L or H (or both), you start to notice patterns. and understanding how this media ecosystem works can help things feel a little less confusing.

first — not all tabloids work the same way.

some of the big names, like The Sun or TMZ, have full-time staff whose job is to track celebrities and write fast, dramatic stories. they might base these on actual tips, but a lot of the time, it’s just vibes. seriously. observation, fan chatter, speculation. other outlets — especially the ones you see quoted in smaller entertainment news sites — get their info from freelancers, social media, or other tabloids. that means they often republish things, change a few words, and present it like a brand-new story.

then there’s this classic move:

“a source close to the star says…”

this could mean literally anyone. most of the time it’s pr-approved. sometimes it’s a fan account. sometimes it’s just made up. the point is: it sounds official, but it isn’t always rooted in fact. this is a way for the tabloid to run a story without being legally obligated to prove the facts.

tabloids are built around narratives. they want drama. they want arcs. they want love stories, betrayals, redemptions. they want to sell an image — not report the truth.

and yes, publicists work with them. maybe to get their client more attention. maybe to push a certain storyline. maybe to quietly bury another one. and when that’s not happening, tabloids will just... fill in the blanks themselves.

when you see something that feels off, it’s probably because it is. or because it’s being presented with a very specific purpose.

ask yourself:

who benefits from this?

does this article use actual quotes, or just “a source”?

are different outlets posting the exact same thing?

does this line up with what you’ve seen, heard, or known about them for years?

not all journalists are tabloid writers. this seems obvious, but it’s a big one. there’s a difference between a gossip columnist and an investigative journalist. there are people in media who genuinely try to do good work, even inside flawed systems.

journalists are often not the final say. even when someone wants to tell a more nuanced story, they’re bound by editors, publishers, and what sells. sometimes they’re told what angle to take. sometimes they write one thing, and the outlet changes the headline to be more clickbait-y. so what looks like laziness or malice may actually be pressure from above.

access journalism is a thing. if a journalist wants to continue getting interviews or access to events, they have to play nice with publicists. this is how pr shapes narratives without technically writing the story themselves. calling out falsehoods or asking real questions too early can get someone blacklisted. that doesn’t mean the journalist believes the narrative — it means they’re stuck.

many are just doing their job with limited info. a writer covering 50 celebrity stories a week is not doing deep research. they don’t know the history like fans do. so while we might say, “how can they not see it?” — the truth is, they’re not looking that closely. they’re skimming pap photos and press releases and writing whatever fits the brand.

some journalists do see it — and leave breadcrumbs. you’ll notice little turns of phrase, sly nods, or “coincidental” timing. some writers do try to hint when something feels off, but they have to walk a fine line. if they’re too obvious, they risk their job. so sometimes it’s what they don’t say that’s telling.

harassment doesn’t help. when fans flood a journalist’s mentions or call them liars or worse, it reinforces the stereotype that we are delusional or dangerous. even if the article was careless or frustrating, the goal should be to advocate for truth, not attack individuals. pushback can be thoughtful. we can ask for better without burning bridges.

media literacy is a kindness to yourself. a way to protect your heart from being pulled in a dozen directions at once.

[yuurei20]

Hello!

Bit of a dumb question

I wanted to know if it was ever mentioned anywhere that Jade ate his siblings.. My sister keeps saying he said that he ate everyone but kept Floyd bc he looked like he'd be funny or something. I've never seen this mentioned before and I wanna prove her wrong

Hello hello!! ^^ Thank you for this question!

“Jade ate his siblings” is one of many unproven fan theories, based on a number of comments in the game that might be hints about something that may or may not have happened!

The theory goes that Jade and Floyd hatched from eggs (moray eels can lay up to 10,000 eggs at once in real life, though in-game is unspecified) at approximately the same time.

Jade then selected Floyd as the one sibling he would spare, and ate the rest. (The reason why he chose Floyd is technically not specified.)

This is based on many things that can be found throughout the game, such as this cryptic comment from Jade: “I’m glad I chose you as my partner when we were but little elvers.”

Floyd responds, “Not sure what that smile’s for, but I’m glad we survived together, too,” which may insinuate that if something did happen, Floyd might not know what it was.

Jade also says, “there are five in my family at present.” One interpretation of this line is that their family used to be larger, and might get even smaller in the future, but five is where they are at now. 

The more optimistic side of EN fandom will sometimes theorize that maybe their mother is pregnant and there will actually be a new addition to the family soon rather than a loss, but we have been given a surprising amount of information about how common it is for people to go missing in the Coral Sea, with otherwise zero hints that they will soon be getting between 1 and 10,000 new siblings.

The evidence used for the “hatched from eggs” part of the theory comes from Floyd insisting that neither he nor Jade are any older or younger than the other.

This might seem vague in English, where which twin of two was technically born first might not come up very often, but in Japanese one twin being born first would mean that one of them would refer to the other as something like “nii-san,” like Ortho does with Idia, or "aniki," as Ace does with his brother and Leona does with Falena.

(For a real-world example I recommend referring to the Twitter account of Jamil’s voice actor, Futaba Kaname. He has (弟) in his username for “little brother,” while his identical twin Yuu has (兄) in his username for “older brother.”)

But neither Jade nor Floyd refer to one another as “nii-san," "aniki" or anything but their first names.

While “bro” or “brother” will sometimes be added to their dialogue on EN neither twin has ever actually called the other “brother” in their original dialogue, because the Japanese language makes you specify older or younger (an age-neutral word for “brother” doesn’t really exist) and, as Floyd says outright in the game, neither he nor Jade are any older or younger than the other.

This makes sense if they both hatched from eggs at approximately the same time, rather than being born like mammals.

Another point that is often referenced in the “Jade and Floyd: Dead Siblings” topic is how, on the subject of ghosts they have seen, both twins mention seeing people on Halloween that looked strikingly like each other, only to realize that they weren’t. 

Floyd: “I once thought I saw Jade in three different places at once.”

The theory goes that they saw the ghosts of their dead siblings.

This may or may not be considered evidence of how the twins might have had other siblings at one point and something happened to them, but even if so, it could have just been a Finding-Nemo style incident with a barracuda or something similar.

So why do people point to Jade as the perpetrator?

(Maybe irrelevant, but Rook’s nickname for Jade in the original game is, “Monsieur Premeditated Crime.”)

Jade is a heavy eater, on par with Sebek (another thing they have in common is they have both threatened to eat Grim), saying that people are often surprised by how much he eats.

Jade says this is because his “fuel efficiency is lacking” (low blood pressure?).

Floyd is aware of this and seems to go to extra lengths to make sure Jade eats properly, encouraging him to relax and fetching food for him during Halloween.

The original meaning of Jade’s unique magic is, “the tooth that takes out a bite,” so this is definitely a theme with him.

And his official, disliked food? Eel.

To the original question: no, there is not a definitive line in the game that states “Jade ate his siblings” that we can point to as proof that it actually, canonically happened.

But we do have many cryptic lines that might possibly be insinuating that a infamously hungry Jade chose Floyd as the one sibling he would spare and ate the rest, Floyd may not know it happened, and Jade might be actively choosing not to tell him 🐬

[bad268]

AITA? (Dennis Hauger X Leclerc! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Indycar

Requested: Nope (Your Pole Winner!) (Also I fucked up my schedule, so we’re posing this early lol)

Warnings: Family neglect (IT'S FICTION)

POV: Second Person (You/your/They/them)

W.C. 2952

Summary: Reddit, AITA for wanting to leave my family?

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

Arthur would never say that he was one to doom scroll, but given that it was the winter break, he had nothing else better to do. He ended up going down a rabbit hole of Am I The Asshole Reddit stories when he came across a story that kind of sounded familiar.

“AITA for wanting to leave my family and start new?” It read. Arthur knew this one would be juicy, so he watched on.

“Burner account because one of my brothers follows my actual Reddit, but I just need opinions. For context, I am the youngest in the family, and I have three older brothers (fake names): Alain (24), Guido (27), and Leo (36). They’re great, and I love them, don’t get me wrong, but Alain and Guido are always the centre of attention. I feel like I am just constantly in their shadow, and no one notices me.” 

Awe, Arthur thought, that’s sad. As an older brother, he thought of his younger sibling and how he used to feel overshadowed by Charles’ success. He knew how bad it felt to be ignored and would hate to find out if they felt overshadowed by his or Charles’ careers. He knew this video wouldn’t relate that much, but it still made him think.  

“So, Guido is a racing driver,” Okay, maybe Arthur could relate, “He’s doing good, and he’s making his team and country proud. Alain followed in his footsteps and is also racing. Alain’s in a different level, but technically, they’re in the same team, I think. I’m so proud of both of them because it’s not every day that you can make it at the levels they are at, but it feels like everything I do will never live up to their successes.”

Now, this was getting interesting.

“Growing up, everything, and I mean everything revolved around my brothers and their careers. I am not exaggerating when I say that every family gathering, holiday, family dinners, or even random conversations is somehow always about them or racing. I get it, we live in a place where it is hard not to talk about racing, but it just feels like a lot. I try to bring up my interests or anything else to talk about, but I’m always pushed aside. It’s like I’m just a background character in their lives and not their sibling.

“Leo has tried his best to include me, and he’s the only one who knows about my passions and is always cheering me on. But he has his own life to worry about. He started his own company and moved out a while ago. He also just got engaged recently, so he already has a lot going on. I also used to have my dad, who would make sure to include me, but he passed in 2017. That’s really when I felt the switch. It really just feels like I lost my support system, and I have no one to turn to.

“I do have my boyfriend, though, but my family doesn’t know about him. I met him through Alain because they used to be teammates, but now, he races in a different series than both of my brothers. He’s actually the one who told me to make this post. He thinks he might be biased because he just wants what’s best for me, so he’s all for me moving in with him. He said he could take care of me until I got settled, and a change in scenery could help.”

“The final straw came a few months ago. All that my family remembers is that Guido won his home race for the first time, and Alain won his first race within a couple of weeks of each other. I told them the week before Guido’s win that I got accepted into my dream university in a different country. It is a very selective school, and I had been applying for two years. My mum, Guido and Alain just smiled and went back to talking about the upcoming race. Not even a congratulations. I thought I would bring it up again after the race, but they were all too busy celebrating their achievements.” 

“The worst part was they wouldn’t let me go out to celebrate their wins with them because I am “too young” and they “don’t want to babysit me.” It broke my heart. Leo was the only one that cared, and he told me how proud he was. It felt good to hear that from him, but I really just wanted my mom and other brothers’ support on this, too. I spend all of my time cheering them on, but the one time I do something worth celebrating, it’s brushed aside. I can’t take it anymore.”

“This is why I come to you, Reddit. I want out of this or at least a break. I want to move away and be in low contact with my family at least for a little bit. I need to make a decision on my university anyway since it’s starting soon, and it’s not in the country I live in now. My boyfriend’s new apartment will be close to campus, so he said I could live with him until I found on campus accommodation or if we decide to just stay living together. He has to move there for work, so it just worked out that way. I know this sounds dramatic, but it’s exhausting feeling like I will never live up to my brothers’ success. I just want space from them to figure things out. So, am I the asshole for wanting to run away from my family because I feel overshadowed by my brothers?”

Arthur sighed, opening the comments, and the top two comments were pinned edits.

“Edit 1: to those asking about where my mum is on all of this, she doesn’t care. Some of you pointed out that she may not have heard me when I told her about my university acceptance, but she did. She said that she “didn’t even know I wanted to go to university” despite me having told her I wanted to go here since I was 10. She always just brushes what I say off or says I need to be more supportive of my brothers because “that’s what family does.” Well, I don’t feel supported, mum. She’s also tried to say that I am jealous of their success. I tried to tell her I felt unseen, and she literally said, “You just need to find your passions.” Well, mum, if you had listened to me at all, you would know what my passions are. It feels like unless I’m winning a world championship, I’m not worth her attention.”

Arthur felt a weird sense of deja vu at that sentence. He had a similar conversation with Dennis and Olli when they were all teammates in Prema F3. Arthur complained about how he felt like he was always compared to Charles, and unless he was winning, he wouldn’t get any good attention. Arthur thought this post was hitting scarily close to home.

“Edit 2: please stop saying my boyfriend is toxic. It’s not like we’ve been together for a few months. I’ve known him since early 2021, and we started dating in April 2022. He’s not a bad person, he just thought an outside perspective would be better. He also thinks it would be good to be independent from them for a while. I may not have explained that right. English isn’t my first language.”

Now, Arthur was even more confused. He scrolled on, and while he thought this person definitely wasn’t the asshole, most of the comments were siding against the original poster. They were saying that the family probably doesn’t realize the extent of their treatments, and it’s not their fault if op didn’t say anything. He was even more confused because the post literally said that they tried to tell their mum they felt unseen. Part of him wanted to defend this person, but that probably wouldn’t look good coming from his official account. Also, it’s not like the original poster would actually see the comments.

That’s why he decided to send it to a couple of his friends to see if he was the only one seeing it this way. He sent it to Clement, Olli, Oscar, Charles, and Dennis. 

Dennis was packing his apartment up and getting ready for his move to America when his phone dinged with a text message and paused his music. He decided this was a sign to take a break to check it. Imagine his surprise when he saw it was from Arthur, and it was linked to a TikTok voiceover video of your own Reddit post that he helped you write. Not wanting to give anything away, he asked Arthur for his opinion of it to which Arthur adamantly stood on the NTA side but felt like he was missing something.

"So you don’t think they are wrong to want to leave?” Dennis clarified. He wanted to make sure he knew where Arthur stood before alerting you.

“Absolutely not! You know how I almost left Ferrari because of the comparisons to Charles, so I feel where they come from. I get that some people need to separate themselves from the situation, but everyone else is saying they’re bad for turning against their family. Real family would understand and be supportive.”

Dennis let out a sigh of relief even though he knew Arthur would understand. Of all people, Arthur had to understand, but to hear it from the man himself was a relief. Dennis quickly sent a screenshot to you.

“Is this you saying I should tell them?” You responded back quickly, certainly quicker than Dennis was expecting. You were already on your phone, doom scrolling on your Reddit post and rethinking all of your life choices.

“I’m just pointing out that Arthur is on your side,” He chuckled as he sent out the reply just as you called him. “I was just texting you.”

“I want you there when I do it,” you said fast, just wanting to get it out and done with it. You started to get anxious the longer you didn't tell them, and the deadline to confirm your acceptance was quickly approaching. It was now or never. “I want to come clean about everything at once, and I need to confirm my acceptance by Friday.”

“When is the next family dinner?” He thought he had a few days to prepare, but when you responded with a time rather than a day, he knew he only had a few hours to prepare to meet your family. Not as Dennis, Arthur’s teammate. No, now it was Dennis, your boyfriend. No pressure.

You got to your mom’s house early for once. You gave her the heads up that you were bringing your boyfriend, and she was indifferent to the statement, merely sending a thumbs up, and that’s it. That gave you the confidence to go forward with your plan. You waited until Dennis showed up before getting out of your car, and when he did, you immediately walked over to greet him at his door.

“Are you ready?” Dennis said as he turned off his car and climbed out, taking your hands in his.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” You sighed, squeezing his hands tightly and taking a deep breath. “She knows, but I don’t think she cares. I haven’t told Arthur or Charles yet, either, but Enzo knows. He’s known for a while.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” He chuckled lightly as he pulled you in for a tight hug as he thought about the protective test he received from a random number, later discovering it to be Enzo, threatening him not to hurt you. Dennis thought it was funny, looking back on it, but there was still one thing plaguing his mind. “Do we want to tell them the entire plan about going to America, or are you just saying that you’re moving away to college?”

“Probably that I’m just going to college. If they care, I’ll tell them about the college, and they’ll be able to tell I’m not staying in Monaco,” You shrugged carelessly until you heard the shift of rocks as someone stopped walking.

“Wait, you’re not staying in Monaco? I thought you were attending the International University of Monaco…” Charles trailed off, and there stood Arthur right beside him with his jaw dropped. “I thought you wanted to stay here?”

“I’ve been here my entire life, and it’s not my dream school, Charles,” You explained quietly as Dennis put a hand on your shoulder, silently showing that he was supporting you. This gave you the confidence to meet Charles and Arthur’s gazes. What you saw almost made you cower back down, but you needed to stand your ground.

“And Dennis, what are you doing here?” Arthur finally spoke up, looking between the two of you. Both Charles and Arthur glared at him before everyone broke out into an argument. In the commotion, your mom and Enzo, who apparently arrived earlier than you, came out of the house. 

“Hey! Listen to me!” You shouted over everyone. Silence fell around the whole group, and you gestured for everyone to go into the house. The last thing you wanted was to subject people passing by to your family drama. You closed the front door as you took a deep breath, moving away from Dennis so that you could see everyone in front of you. “Charles and Arthur, you both travel for a living. All I’ve ever known is Monaco and France. I want to go out and be an individual, not Charles and Arthur Leclerc’s little sibling. I want to make my own name. I feel like none of you hear me, especially you, Maman.”

“We listen to you,” She tried to interject, but you weren’t having it.

“What’s my dream school, or what do I want to major in?” That simple question silenced everyone. You, Dennis, and Enzo looked around at Pascale, Charles, and Arthur, who all looked guilty. “You know Enzo, Charles, and Arthur’s passions, but what’s mine?”

“You haven't decided,” She responded after a beat, “The college or your study.”

“It’s (major),” You deadpanned, “It’s been (major) at the University of Notre Dame since I was 10 years old. I told you that I got accepted into the program in May.”

“No, you didn’t,” She retorted immediately before pausing as she remembered May, “Wait…”

“Yeah, I was overshadowed by Charles winning in Monaco a week later and Arthur winning in Imola like a month later. No one acknowledged my accomplishments, but you all celebrated theirs!” You progressively got louder as you bit back your tears. “I wasn’t even allowed to go out with you guys because you didn’t want to babysit me. I’m not a child anymore! I’m 21 years old! I want to be treated like one. I want to be treated like an individual, not your younger sibling. I’m tired of being overlooked!”

“We never want you to feel overlooked,” Charles finally said as he walked up to you and pulled you into his chest. No one said anything, but Arthur, Pascale, and Enzo joined the hug one by one. They finally realized their faults when they thought back to how they acted. They did overlook you sometimes, they did discount you in some situations, and they did baby you. They always thought they were protecting you, but now, they realize it did more harm than good. “We never meant for you to feel like you didn’t matter.”

“You did, and now that you know, I want you to know that I am attending the University of Notre Dame, and I will be moving there for the next school year,” You explained carefully as you all pulled out of the hug. “This is my dream, and I have supported you through all of yours, so I ask the same in return. I’ll have Dennis there with me,” You said with a smile as you looked over at him over Arthur’s shoulder. “He’s moving to compete in IndyNXT, and the plan is to stay with him until I get on-campus accommodations.”

“This sounds very familiar…” Arthur trailed off, looking between you and Dennis before a lightbulb went off in his head. “Did you post about this on Reddit?”

You froze as your eyes snapped toward Dennis. He promised no one close to you would see that post, yet one of the people it was about clearly knew about it.

“Oh my god, I knew it sounded too familiar!” Arthur’s jaw dropped before he lost all of the colour in his face. “Wait, I’m so sorry we made you ever feel less important or worthy. We love you, and we had no idea that you felt this way.”

“We’ll do better,” Charles nodded in agreement as he tightened his arm around your shoulder, “We have a lot to learn, but we’ll support you any way we can. We’ll also give you the space you need to become your own person.”

“But don’t think we won't surprise you in Indiana whenever he’s racing in the States,” Arthur cheered, slapping Charles on the shoulder. “Indiana is close to Florida, Texas, and Vegas, right?”

“No, not exactly,” You chuckled as you held out a hand for Dennis to join the family huddle, “He’ll be in IndyNXT, so maybe there will be some overlap.”

“We’ll show up to support both of you whenever, wherever you’re at,” Pascale said finally. Tears sprang into your eyes as you finally felt acknowledged by your family. You finally felt validated.

~~~~~

© BAD268 2025. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[hubristicassholefight]

Swordswoman showdown FINALS

Hornet (Hollow Knight) vs Xena (Xena: Warrior Princess)

(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")

Propaganda below cut

Hornet

Technically its not a sword but she wields a needle in a setting where swords do not exist and she wields it in an exceedingly swordlike fashion so. She counts; Girlboss demigoddess spider lady. She's been protecting an entire kingdom for longer than many of the other characters have been alive. She systematically kills her siblings for being too weak. She's simply the best.

#im pretty sure hornet can beat like. anyone in a fight.#have you ever fought hornet#its so fucking hard getting past her every time i play hk i go literally insane.

#i remember getting stuck on the first hornet fight on mt first play through and bring likr#''omg the boss fights in this are so hard!!!''#like what. you're not even half way through what are you talking about#you can't even DASH honey. you don't know what's diffcult or not in this game.

So, SPOILERS

but I feel like the "she systematically kills her siblings" part needs a little clarification. See, one of her siblings was used as a living prison for an angry god and that uh. Didn't work out for the sibling in question or anyone else.

This account is itself heavily abbreviated but it's likely that any other sibling Hornet encounters will be trying to take over as the god's new prison. She appears to challenge any sibling she sees to battle, in order to test their resolve against herself and her needle - would they actually have a chance against that god?

We never actually see her kill any siblings, but she does quite pointedly tell one of them that (to paraphrase) "My needle is lethal and I would feel no sadness in a weakling's demise."

Feels like a relevant quote. In any case, if they can't beat Hornet, it seems like her needle would be a far more merciful end than what the god would grant.

Anyway, a bit of additional material for @swordswomanshowdown :

As is the case for any cool swordswoman, it's not just her sword that's lethal, it's her with it. And Hornet's needle was custom made for her - the creators have said that, while other needles exist, hers was made specifically for her to wield, and its construction allows her to use her spider silk better in combat.

And another thing that I think makes her a good swordswoman: she's actually pretty thoughtful about how she uses it. There's a least one instance where she tries to warn someone off before fighting them! At the same time, when she does fight, she seems to enjoy it - during her boss battles, you can hear her laugh sometimes, as if exhiliarated. She's really got it all, as a swordswoman!!!

#HORNET SWEEP CMON PLEEEEEEASE#shes gay. shes the only sibling with a gender. shes a spider named HORNET. look like croissant. whats not to like

Xena

Warrior Princess

She wields a sword and chakram. Just had to submit a biconic swordswoman.

i love her. she made me gay as a kid. Anyway, her weapon of choice is her sword, she is obviously very good with it

#unfortunately i have to choose and i have to choose xena#a) utena had no warcry. b) xena fought gods. c) xena has kickass goofy comic book combat which is my favorite

xena didn’t just fight gods. she fucked up a girl’s life so bad that she (calisto) devoted her entire being to destroying everything that xena loved that ended up with calisto becoming a god in order to destroy xena, which didnt work because xena entombed her in lava. and then when xena and gabrielle encountered calisto in the (christian) afterlife (different from the greek one which they also fought her in), calisto dragged gabrielle to hell so xena became an archangel in order to save gabrielle and then sacrificed herself in order to undo all the harm that she did in calisto’s life and then when not!jesus (played by timothy omundson) revives xena and gabrielle, calisto impregnates xena with the reincarnation of calisto’s soul in order to end the cycle of hate. xena doesnt just fight gods. she creates and destroys them

#this isnt even mentioning her fighting julius ceasar several times#telling brutus that caesar is not his friend#xena and gabrielle’s souls reincarnating across centuries in order to kick ass and fall in love all over again#or the time xena became a god but tbh that ep is kinda ‘uhhhhh…..’ even if they did hire a consultant for it

#I think everyone here knows to vote for Xena. I think a couple people here might have some propaganda for Xena saved already#everyone remember that Xena/Gabrielle is CANON and that's a pretty big deal also#(does anyone have that Xena Loves Trans People interview around because that would also make good propaganda)

I love Xena ❤️ 😍 💖 ❣️

[redflagshipwriter]

Nest Swap 9

masterpost

Having a mission changed everything. 

Tim took full advantage of his new knowledge of the holy manuals. The first rule that he took to heart was that he was meant to be armed. Of course! It made sense.

Unfortunately, he was also not meant to take any weapon onto the field that he hadn’t trained with. Tim thought hard for a while whether or not a suburban house counted as ‘in the field’, but it seemed like he should pay lip service to Batman’s rule. So he got some sharp things that seemed interesting and spent some time throwing them at a target. They kind of looked like Batarangs, but… different. 

“I don’t think bats change shape in the next ten years or so,” Tim muttered. He gave another half hearted throw. The thing dinged off the wall below his target. “So this isn’t meant to be a bat shape. Did Batman rebrand to the Birdman and no one fixed his wiki page yet? Is this a parallel universe and not my actual future?”

It occurred to him that it might be a bird because of Robin. But come on, Robins didn’t use sharp things. Robin was a child. It was irresponsible for children to use blades. 

Tim sent another thingy into the wall. It hit with the pointy end first this time and sank an inch into the wall to the right of the target. He held his breath as it wiggled for a moment. Then it went still without falling.

“Yes!” He punched the air. Thank gosh! He was getting bored with that. It was good to be done with training. It was kind of dull.

Steps one and two were finished. He had a weapon and he had trained with it. Tim went back to his list. The next technical skill set was lock picking. That was super easy and fun! Tim enjoyed the clear diagrams and explanations. There wasn’t anything to practice with, but he thought that he had the concept down handily. He grabbed a set of lockpicks for his khaki pockets. 

He needed to do a little more to understand the patterns of the target, as well as their background. Tim considered asking Jason for any information, but he probably didn’t have any. Maybe he wasn’t very good at googling. So he just did it. The Sausage Guy was more commonly known as Benedict Orange, a name that Tim really liked and mentally stored away to use as an alias when he was a superhero. 

Anyway. Tim figured out how old the guy was, where he’d gone to school, and a bunch of other stuff like the record of his marriage ten years ago. 

“Huh,” Tim said, brows furrowed. “I didn’t find a divorce record. But he’s single now?” Mr. Orange had accounts on a lot of dating sites. He was using his engagement photo for the profile photo, with his wife cut out.

That was weird. He tried to find the wife, but there wasn’t anything more recent than 8 years ago, when she’d announced that she was quitting her job on social media. 

…Tim had kind of a bad feeling about that. 

He put a pin in it for now, but he had a small theory at the back of his mind that started with ‘I think this guy killed his wife.’

Maybe that was how the human sausage thing started. Maybe he’d killed her on impulse and then needed a way to get rid of the body. And then maybe he’d gotten a taste for it.

Tim shuddered. Okay, okay, he was for real done thinking about this! Big yucky.

Benny Orange was an office worker with a title that Tim didn’t really understand. It seemed vague to the point of uselessness, but then again, that was office work. The relevant thing was that he got home around 6 pm, and he left at 8 am.

It was 10 in the morning. Tim could get over there and toss Benny’s home before the end of the workweek if he hurried. The manual said that you should never spend more than an hour investigating an unsecured location. It also said that you should file a report or directly inform someone of where you’d be. 

That part made Tim pause for a moment before he remembered that he’d told Jason. Jason would probably check on him when he woke up, or whatever.

Tim found an equipment belt that he could wrap around his waist twice to buckle on. He put his sharp things in it. Then he untucked his shirt, because he had tucked it in out of habit and that would make it harder to access his weapons. He frowned as he did it. It just felt wrong.

He put on his shoes and got out the door. He didn’t have a lot of time to waste if he wanted to be able to take his time, so Tim hailed a taxi to cross most of the distance this time. He was grateful that Mrs. Henderson was gone and there was no chance of seeing her. Last time had been a little bit of a disaster. Needing civilian help to get into the building was not a winning move.

He had bat-approved lockpicks this time. He went to the front door and did his best. 

It turned out that maybe he should have practiced? Tim started to sweat out in the open. It felt like someone was staring at his back. He looked at the houses around. No one was at their windows or walking outside. He started jumping whenever the tall herbs in Mr. Orange's garden swayed in the breeze. He had a lot of plants.

His hands were shaking. The sweat made his shirt stick to his back. He was going to get caught and in so much trouble.

When the door finally opened, Tim offered up a thanks to Bast, because he assumed the cat goddess was more likely to be pro-breaking and entering than other gods. That logic was just based off of what he knew about Catwoman, honestly. 

The first glimpse into Benedict Orange's home was disappointingly normal. He had vinyl flooring (easy to clean!), leather furniture, and a big flat TV high up on the wall. He didn’t have enough knickknacks and there was no art. There was a wood and glass case that was full of identical, unlabeled bottles with something red in it. Hot sauce? Was he a hot sauce guy?

Tim mentally reclassified Mr. Orange further down the list of ‘people I could talk to at a cocktail party.’

The place had the same layout as Mrs. Henderson’s place, just in reverse. Tim beelined to the kitchen because.. Well.

He just did.

The counter space where Mrs. Henderson had a hot water kettle, a big stand mixer, and a toaster was mostly clear here. Mr. Orange only had one piece of cooking machinery. Tim didn’t know it. He squinted at it. It was a big shiny stainless steel thing. It had a metal tray, a wheel, and like… a nozzle. When he climbed on a chair to look down, he could see there was a little tunnel tube thing where you could put stuff inside the body of the machine.

Weird. Moving on!

He checked inside the fridge. He stared for a moment of aghast silence. There was a stack of takeout containers, a bunch of seasonings in the door, and a stack of tupperware with something red in them. 

Cautiously, Tim dug one out and opened it.

“That’s raw meat,” he said, voice high. He put the box back in and then hesitated. Maybe he should be like, taking it? Or taking a sample? To see what animal it came from?

“I’ll think about it.” Tim shut the fridge a little harder than he needed to and beat feet out of the kitchen. He started checking the other rooms. He found the master bedroom. His nose wrinkled. “I don’t think he’s restyled this since Brenda died,” Tim complained. He looked at the curtains with extreme judgment. They were so outdated it wasn’t even funny, but they also weren’t retro yet!

Oh. Wait. Belatedly, Tim remembered that it was ten years into his future. So, maybe they were retro now. Anyways, Brenda had liked the trend for chickens and roosters. There were chickens and roosters everywhere in the decor, including a cute print of what was obviously intended to be a husband and wife pair snuggling on a sofa.

His heart hurt a little. He looked at it a little too long. 

Tim took a deep breath. Then he went back to looking for evidence. There wasn’t much in the bedroom, so clearly Mr. Orange had a personal office elsewhere. There were two more rooms in the apartment.

Tim opened the next door. The room was mostly a guest bedroom, with the notable exception of a huge chest freezer and a weird long wooden bar across the room.

Tim shut the door.

The last room was the office. There was a desk, a file cabinet, and a lockbox full of women’s drivers licenses.

“Yeah, okay,” Tim said under his breath. “He’s a serial killer.” He took photos and sent them to Jason immediately with the subject line “Yeah he’s a killer!!!”

Then he got down to sorting through the papers to see if there was anything else. Jason was a Robin, Tim supposed, so he’d need the evidence to show the police. It would be helpful if he just went and sorted it out now. He found warranties for the TV, the new freezer, and he presumed that ‘Meat Grinder’ meant the thing in the kitchen.

“I appreciate that he’s so organized, actually,” Tim muttered. He was hunched over digging through the bottom drawer now.

A key went into a door. 

Tim froze stock still. He slowly, silently shut the drawer. He stared at the closed door to the living room. On the other side of it, Mr. Orange unlocked and opened the front door. Tim slowly looked up, saw 12:14 on the clock, and vaguely registered that sometimes people come home on their lunch breaks.

The front door shut. There was a quiet metal sound that Tim thought was probably the chain lock. The chain lock that was too high for him to move without a chair to stand on.

Okay. Uh. He looked around for a place to hide. The best option was under the desk. Tim crawled through the legs of the chair, heart beating furiously.

He weighed his options. Wait it out and hope Mr. Orange didn’t come in?

…Seemed risky. But there was no way he was going to run out past the guy to the front door. At least, the odds that he’d get grabbed were just not good, not when he didn’t know where Mr. Orange was. 

Alright. Tim knew reality. He might not be able to get out of this on his own. At the very least, he should let Jason know what was going on so that they could add his murder to the list of charges. And maybe Jason was close by to help? Wayne Manor was awfully far away, so probably not. But it didn’t hurt to try.

He got his phone back out and was silently very glad that he had it. Jason had responded to his message. Tim didn’t take the time to read it, instead typing up a blank email with the subject line “um might need help asap :( he here”. He sent it. Then he huddled down to wait.

Noises came from the kitchen- the suction as the fridge opened. The beep of the microwave. A man’s voice saying, “What the fuck? Did I leave this here?”

His blood turned ice cold.

‘What did I do?’ Tim desperately tried to remember what he’d touched in the kitchen. Had he really moved something around? He didn’t remember anything! His heart rate went up like crazy.

The door opened. Tim flinched. His whole body started shaking uncontrollably.

Oh. No. It wasn’t this door yet. It was the door to the next room, the spare bedroom. He heard the weird squelch of the chest freezer opening. Then the closet door squeaked open. Something heavy moved around. 

“Well, it wasn’t you,” said Mr. Orange. There was a mean satisfaction in his tone. The heavy thing moved again.

Tim’s brain went a bit blank.

Who was he talking to? Was there someone in the apartment? Hidden behind something heavy?

He opened up another email. Jason hadn’t responded, so there was no way to know if he’d seen. Tim hastily typed up, “I think there’s a living hostage in the house” and sent it as the door to the office opened.

He hugged his arms around his knees and squeezed his eyes shut. Oh gosh. Oh heck. Oh no, oh no. He bit his lower lip and broke skin.

‘No. I can’t be a baby about this.’ 

It was really hard with how stiff his fingers felt. But Tim put the phone in his pocket and wrestled the sharp bird weapon out. He held it clumsily. And he watched Mr. Orange’s feet move around the room. They walked around the room. He saw the curtains move as Mr. Orange pulled them to check no one was hiding there. Then he knew that Mr. Orange was coming to his hiding spot.

Tim swallowed. He waited until Mr. Orange’s feet were in sight. He stabbed his sharp thing down through the top of Mr. Orange’s sock.

Mr. Orange bellowed and fell back against his filing cabinet. 

Tim scrambled out and ran.

He went towards the front door on automatic and nearly got there before he looked up and saw that yes, the chain lock was on. He couldn’t reach it. 

“You little shit!” Mr. Orange bellowed. He lunged at Tim. Tim barely dodged. He jabbed at him again without looking and barreled towards the door to Mrs. Henderson’s apartment. It only had a doorknob lock. He unlatched it, praying that she had not changed her ideas about the open door policy. The door handle turned.

He threw himself into the room and slammed the door shut. He clicked the little button lock.

Mr. Orange hit the door, hard. It shook. He wasn’t saying anything anymore. There was something about that which struck Tim as absolutely terrifying. Didn’t people bellow and yell when they were mad? 

He looked towards Mrs. Henderson’s door. The door shook again as Mr. Orange hit it.

Wood splintered.

If he went out Mrs. Henderson’s front door he could sprint for it. What were the odds he could outrun a grown man? If he did, wouldn’t Mr. Orange just get in his car? Potential witnesses had made Mr. Orange back off before, but he was more invested now in silencing Tim. And there was no one around. Tim had checked. 

The door splintered again. He could see Mr. Orange’s shoulder. Then a socked foot.

‘I don’t think I stabbed his foot well enough,’ some distant part of Tim’s brain catalogued. ‘He’s still moving on it. If I live past this, I’m going to commit to the next stabbing with more enthusiasm.’

He bolted for the stand where Mrs. Henderson kept her mace. He was just out of sight from Mr. Orange’s hole in the door. His heart thudded so loud. His shaking had stopped. The mace didn’t  feel heavy. 

‘If I was taller, i’d aim for the face. I can’t pull that off. I’ll aim for center mass. He may block with an arm, but theoretically his arm will be hurt enough that I’ll be able to pull back and make another swing.’

There was a catastrophic smash from inside Mr. Orange’s apartment. 

Then a “What the fuck-” that got cut off a little early. Mr. Orange sounded mad and confused. 

A thud. Two smaller thuds. A clicking. Tim wanted so badly to know what was going on. 

A hand reached through the hole in the door and unlatched the lock. 

Tim swallowed. He readied a swing. 

The door opened.

Tim took a step forward and swung Mrs. Henderson’s antique mace with maximum strength directly into the armored center mass of a guy who was NOT Mr. Orange.

“Oh my gosh,” Tim said, horrified, at the instant he connected. The guy was looking forward. He looked down too late, just as the mace hit.

There was sort of a bounce. The mace bounced back off the tummy armor without digging in or drawing blood. Half of Tim was relieved, and half was terrified that his plan had failed. 

The guy doubled over and made a sound that was a lot like GURK. He clutched at his torso with one arm and pointed a gun at Tim with the other.

Tim put his hands up.

The guy looked at Tim. Presumably. It was hard to tell through his ugly red motorcycle helmet.

“I really should have known.” 

His mechanical voice was scary.

Bad guy! 

Tim took his chances and another swing before the guy could shoot him. He expected to hear a shot as he smashed his mace again. The guy yelped and jerked backwards to avoid getting hit. Then there was a thud.

Tim peered through the door cautiously. The guy had tripped over Mr. Orange. Mr. Orange was laying on the floor facedown, arms zip tied behind his back. 

“Oh, sorry,” Tim apologized. He took a couple steps over to put the mace back away. He gave Mr. Orange a wide berth.

“I never would have guessed that the Red Hood used kids like this,” Mr. Orange said meanly. He narrowed his eyes at Tim. “Small, even for bait.”

The Red Hood guy pointed his gun at Mr. Orange’s head. Tim shrieked.

The Red guy stopped. He seemed to look at Tim again. He had some really bad words. “Alright.” He got back up to his feet and put the gun away.

Right. He’d probably just been joking or something. Tim belatedly registered the control it must have taken to not accidentally shoot while being attacked and falling over. 

Oh. Wait. It was a huge coincidence that a hero came right now, unless-

‘Is this Jason?’ Tim felt his eyebrows go all the way up. He wanted to ask a million questions. His mouth was firmly glued shut, though. Partly it was infosec. But it was also embarrassment.

[inspirationallybored]

New Introductory Post + Get to know me!

Hi everyone!

An updated intro post, because I promised, and stuff has changed.

First of all, I am still not a robot. I am, as a matter of fact, still definitely a human.

You can call me Starfish, or Ash! Starfish is my nickname/drawing name, and Ash is the pseudonym I usually use, including for writing stuff.

Thats my writer-sona!

About me:

I am 16 years old and a cis female (she/her pronouns). Also, I'm an August Virgo!

I am an asexual, and very romantic, but not am in (or looking for) a relationship. (Also closeted irl, but brushing past that).

Currently studying in high school, and preparing for med school.

I am from, and live in India. I am also a spiritual Hindu, and love and respect all religious beliefs (including atheism and agnostic people).

My true love lies in history, mythology, and literature. Like interested to the point of obsession with them.

Probably have some sort of undiagnosed neuro divergence (but that's unimportant. maybe).

I have been writing poetry and short stories since elementary school (under my real name), and reading for as long as I can remember.

Some of my favourites:

Book series: Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Shadow and Bone (and Six of Crows), The Hunger Games

Stand-alone books: The Song of Achilles, The Little Prince, The Book Thief, Ela (it's by Sampurna Chatterjee, really underrated), The Girl who Drank the Moon, The Bell Jar, 1984

Movie: The Fault in our Stars, Into the Spider-Verse (also ASTV)

Shows/series: Brooklyn 99, Modern Family, The Good Doctor, Carmen Sandiego, Alien Stage (Ik it's not technically on tv, but ao3 lists it as such and I need to put it somewhere so)

Anime: The Apothecary Diaries, Bungou Stray Dogs, Death Note, Spy x Family, Banana Fish, Oshi No Ko

****

I am a writer, and have two main WIPs. You can see the master posts by clicking on the titles:

1. Stranger Friends- Two people become friends by sharing their deepest thoughts with each other, but never their identities.

Status- Writing (First Draft)

2. Beyond the Ripple Tides- A new recruit in an elite magical enforcement service is tasked to find out about the stirring rebellion, but with the gap in everyone's minds, nothing's what it seems.

Status- Writing (Zeroth Draft)

I have posted my original stuff (one poem and short story) under #my writing <3 (I know, very original).

My AO3 account (I recently made it, and have yet to update it): Ash_Writes_Stuff

I also like to draw, and am an amateur self- taught artist. Drawing blog is @rustic-brushes

*****

Things you'll find on my blog:

Stuff about writing, procrastinating writing, writing struggles, the likes.

I also post about my wips, dialogue prompts and other stuff. Comments are much appreciated, it's nice to get feedback.

Moots wips too!

A lot of random stuff, about life and other things. I also have a side blog for venting, lmk if you want to know about it (it's depressing, so beware)

tag games, rb games, ask games, and such (I crave interaction lol)

I WILL advocate about political and social issues, it's a part of writing, and it's a part of me.

*****

Things I am perfectly fine with:

Almost everything! Opinion-related, or about interests, or WIPs (mine or others'), or stuff I don't know about, and more. Tumblr is a free space for discussion, right? So anything and everything is a-okay. It doesn't matter if it's from the other side of the world, it's ok.

I am perfectly fine with discussing about stuff that might be sensitive to some, like mental health, politics, war, etc.

Though I am a liberal politically, all opinions and differences are welcome, just be respectful and logical.

I am open to comments, reblogs, asks (including anon asks), and DMs. Just don't be a weirdo.

Some things to be careful about (just in case anyone needs it):

No bigotry or discrimination allowed, including homo/transphobia and racism. Having opinions is ok, having prejudice is not.

No judging on difference of opinions, be respectful (again, unless someone is being a horrible person, then desecration is fine).

No NSFW stuff please, I am a minor (you get what I mean).

Avoid stuff related to financial transactions like asking money (again, I'm a minor, I don't have a bank account, and this is the internet so almost no one shares stuff like that).

Note: I love and appreciate all interactions, but I can be late in responding or not respond sometimes (life you know). I will try my very best to respond every time, but even if I don't, know I loved that you interacted.

****

My official/writing tag-list: @afantasyoffiction @inknrivers @everflowingriver @write-with-will @seastarblue @carb0n-m0n0xide @sunflowerrosy @the-ellia-west @corinneglass @ivorysmokecloud

To be added to/removed from the tag-list, you can interact with this post, or send an ask.

Feel free to ask questions or give feedback. Nice to meet you all!

[moistvonlipwig]

🔥do you have any more for the cw's supergirl bc the last one was so so so so funny and real and true

thank youuu i had to think about this one though bc to be honest i saw this ask and the entirety of cw supergirl disappeared from my brain. but now i have remembered things to be salty about. looping in @yourlocalegotisticalqueerishere who also asked. anyway this one is not quite so funny unforchy, it's more morbid as hell?? but um i think the way the show/the superfriends handled the aftermath of crisis is genuinely really disturbing.

@sideguitars and i have talked a lot about this and i touched on it in my fic which everyone should go readies right now :3 but basically. the result of crisis is that everyone in the arrowverse (except a select few people - barry, kara, kate kane, the legends of tomorrow lady i legitimately forgot her name, j'onn, lex, ryan choi, technically the wellses who are stored instead nash (?), jennifer pierce, & lastly lena due to lex's deal with the monitor) dies. and when the world is "reset" j'onn flies around restoring a lot of the main characters' memories but not all of them. in practice, all the shows treat this less like our beloved characters have literally died and been replaced and their replacements have 'our' versions' memories in their heads as well, and much more like restoring memories effectively brings our dead versions back to life. let us proceed with the assumption that this is more or less what is happening, because that is how the shows act.

now there are 2 ways to read the morality of this action of restoring memories, which notably happens multiple times without consent from the person involved. #1 is that the new versions of these characters are people in their own right and deserve to live. through this reading, restoring 'our' versions is a violation of these people, tantamount to murder; it is overwriting their inconvenient experiences with the experiences of people our characters like better. there is no material difference, in this reading, between what j'onn does to the people whose memories he restores and what lena does to eve in s5 when she puts hope in her brain. through this reading, the superfriends are pure villains. you could imagine a superhero movie with this very plot, in fact: a sympathetic supervillain from another universe that got erased trying to replace people from this universe with people from their own.

#2 is that our versions of these characters, for whatever reason, deserve to live more than the new versions (or versions from any other earths). through this reading, it is justifiable to restore people's memories without consent, but anyone who is not restored is effectively being allowed to die, an act of criminal negligence by a band of so-called superheroes. the limits of who gets chosen to have their memories returned then become morbidly fascinating. on supergirl -- which is the only show that crisis really affects at all, frankly (besides arrow i guess but who gives a fuck), so it's kind of the only one where any of this matters -- we know for a fact that j'onn restores alex, nia, brainy, kelly, and clark and probably lois and maybe m'gann also i forget tbh. i think it is reasonable to assume he also restored james. i certainly hope he did! but we know he did not restore, say, cat grant, or andrea rojas, or william dey, or other people outside their immediate circle.

which raises questions like: why kelly? because she is alex's girlfriend of a few months? because she is james's sister? well, what about mama olsen? did they restore her memories? surely not remembering lex luthor torturing her son would change her significantly. what about alex's fake latina ex-girlfriend, maggie sawyer? does she not get her memories back, on account of being merely the ex, not the current girlfriend of supergirl's sister? and so on.

but of course the biggest crime by far is that the superfriends do not know that lex made a deal with the monitor for lena's survival and they believe she perished. and they do nothing to bring her memories back. this is despite the fact that she is unquestionably the number one person affected by the change to the universe. please consider that the biggest change to earth-prime from earth-38 is that lex luthor now never went evil, is friends with the supers, and is still in charge of luthorcorp. obviously this has a trickle-down effect on many people's lives, but i would think it obvious that the person most impacted is his little sister who he abused and manipulated for her entire life (per s4), who was left to deal with the fallout of his going evil and, oh yeah, who recently had to kill him. and now suddenly he is back in her life and has power over her and he remembers every way that she (rightfully) betrayed him. in fact i think it is not at all a stretch to say that lex's primary motivation in how he set up earth-prime was gaining more control over lena (which is why it's interesting and speaks to a lingering ember of humanity and love in lex that he lets her keep her memories at all).

and for some reason none of the superfriends are like. hey maybe lena, our former friend whose last action before her (apparent) death was helping to save three billion people at the superfriends' behest, deserves to live and know the full truth of who her brother is and what their relationship has been. alex even tries to argue that kara shouldn't tell lena about any of their history at all because then lena might be mad at kara for all the lying and that would, you know, suck for kara personally. which, like, i guess kara wanting to tell lena the truth is a step up from that load of horseshit, but again, none of you considered restoring her memories? you're just going to let her stay dead? after alex, j'onn, and kara all agreed in 5x08 that lena was not a lost cause and could still be saved? lmao. okay.

and then once they realize lena has her memories we again have the issue of like. why is it that alex and kara get to have THEIR support systems restored but lena doesn't? again. lena is the one whose life has been MOST overturned by crisis. she is the one currently under her abuser's thumb -- her abuser who is the only one who apparently bothered to consider saving her life, and who is the only non-superfriend she knows who also remembers their previous earth. which, keeping in mind that as far as she knows all the superfriends were down to kill her in 5x08 with a nuclear fucking missile, means that she has literally nowhere safe to go.

like. one of her best and most supportive friends was sam arias. and to be fair s5 seems dead set on pretending sam never existed with the exception of 5x13. but if she wanted to go to sam, it wouldn't be the same sam with knowledge of earth-38. andrea, also, isn't the same andrea. they make it a point to show us she has a different backstory. even lillian isn't the same lillian, and, i mean, lillian was indeed abusive to lena, but earth-38 lillian was more on her side than earth-prime lillian is. lena has literally no one. she has her abusive brother and her former friends who lied to her for years and tried to kill her (as far as she knows) and that's it. but alex gets her girlfriend of a few months back. and kara gets her cousin back. because what kara and alex want matters, and what lena needs does not matter. and then the superfriends are all Shocked and Appalled that lena goes back to lex. which like. i don't love that as a story beat either, but i put it to you: where the fuck else was she supposed to go?

anyway i could rant about this all day long lol but basically it points to how profoundly unconcerned the superfriends were with lena's status as lex's first and primary victim, which really undermines their later claims that they're lena's new and better family. and it also points to how little the show itself cared about the psychology of abuse victims (particularly female ones) that this was never factored into how they wrote the reconciliation between lena & the superfriends. and more broadly the whole thing suggests a frankly eerie self-centeredness on the part of the superfriends that makes all their moral posturing seem hollow. no matter which way you read the morality of restoring people's memories post-crisis, the superfriends (mostly kara, j'onn, and alex tbf) acted callously, selfishly, and without care for the very people they were supposed to protect. and, as always, lena luthor suffered for it.

[1001aus]

The GIW is dangerous. They have weapons and armored vehicles and don't care about collateral damage. They've got the whole town under an information quarantine and have stopped new tech that could be used to bypass it from reaching them.

But the GIW is a relatively small organization and one that can't afford to be too noticeable. They and the Anti Ecto Act are a blatant violation of the Meta Protection Act, after all.

If someone who happens to look exactly like an Amity Park citizen should happen to show up somewhere more than twenty miles away using a different name... well, they don't have the kind of resources to keep track of things like that.

They can track the use of names and keywords. They can track bank accounts. They cannot dedicate the kind of technical or personnel resources it would take to use facial recognition at that scale.

Sure, for the most heavily exposed citizens they have to be careful about the trace amounts of ecto-radiation they give off, but only a few of them have a strong enough signature to be noticeable from more than a foot away even to the most highly sensitive equipment.

(Needless to say, the GIW do not have such equipment. It's well outside their budget. They only afford what they do have because the Doctors Fenton have no concept of how valuable their work is.)

For the creative and slightly liminal citizens of Amity Park there are plenty of ways past the quarantine line.

The Mansons and Vlad have to be allowed to come and go, of course; they move in the kind of circles the GIW can't afford attention from. Danny, Jazz, Sam, and Tucker dip into the Fenton portal when they want to and either come out Vlad's portal or get a friendly ghost to make them one.

For everyone else? There are farm fields immediately outside of town. Fields the GIW isn't able to stick sensors all over. For people whose ecto-signature doesn't radiate out more than about a foot, the net of monitoring is easy to slip past.

As long as they have to good sense not to talk about Amity Park outside of Amity Park, the GIW will never know how ineffective their lockdown is.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

hi! please share your headcanons about jay. thanks!

ooooooooh sure thing let's get it!!

(also please keep in mind that soke was literally my first time dipping back into dc after a LONG while, so i have a bit of catch-up to do in terms of characters and stories, and thus some of my knowledge might be outdated!!! also i love jay but i do consider myself still very new to understanding him and thus most of these will be silly fun :333)

damian makes fun of him for that all-black ninja-esque stealth suit he wore to sneak into star labs because there was literally NO POINT in jay trying to disguise himself like that when he didn't bother covering up his BRIGHT FUCKING PINK hair

yes i'm still mad about yes i would like to know his thought process

is it natural btw??? i've seen different takes around where people think it's dyed bc of his other version in aos:jk, but i feel like that's pretty unlikely considering it was shaved all the way down when he got taken prisoner and experimented on and it grew back exactly like that

for the record i'm not a hater i'm just saying 1) it made him a walking beacon and 2) it being natural is so fucking funny to me since he clearly didn't inherit it from his mom, which begs the question:

who the fuck is jay's dad

while jay does care for all of the revolutionaries as their ally and everyone at the truth as their boss, and as an overall friend, i think that wink and the aerie are especially close to him and they consider each other family. they were pretty much the closest thing to adult supervision jay had for a while, and he relied on them a lot when he was settling down in metropolis and figuring out how to live alone

this meant that he called them for stupid things like "if something explodes in your microwave do you call the fire department", and not-stupid things like "help me open a bank account because metropolis bank has laws that won't let me do it by myself as a minor"

they were also the first people he came out to

jay loves them even if they CAN be really annoying

jay: "are you—are you guys ACTUALLY planning on shovel-talking superman" wink: "technically, he's superman's son" the aerie: "and if he's late to the coffee shop, i'm taking points off"

i think jay would get along with tim actually

the dude is an underground hacktivist refugee, investigative journalist, and a former president's son. he's probably used to always looking over his shoulder, ready to be jumped at a moment's notice. he's got a plan for everything but the plans only exist inside his head because he can't risk hard copies being found or digital ones being hacked. he's memorized them all. they're either alphabetized or mentally color-coded. we're talking levels of elaborate just-in-case getaways and meticulously planned investigations that would get a normal reporter killed if they asked the wrong question. it's dedication to a terrifying degree

yeah tim would definitely rock with him

jay has this neat little trick where if he's in a situation in which someone's poisoned his food and he has to eat it/can't let them know he knows, he just partially phases his organs so that the food falls through his body a little bit at a time and never enters his digestive system

jon is HORRIFIED when he finds out. damian is really fucking impressed

does gamorra have its own language???? i feel like jay would be fluent in it if so. of course he would be. he'd do anything to keep part of home as close to his chest as possible

oh that's another thing i'll probs mess up on btw i am legit so confused on gamorra considering it's apparently in asia and i would assume has its own distinct culture? but jay's surname is japanese and that random kid on the boat has a japanese name so are they like. japanese-adjacent??? or is gamorra made up of multiple asian identities blended into one (read tags for clarification)

i should probably read absolute power shouldn't i

okay sorry that got WAY off topic but yeah jay is definitely someone who loved his home despite not being able to go back and did everything he could to maintain his ties

ALSO can we talk about jay being a student at metropolis college at seventeen???? did he skip a year of school when he got to the u.s.??? did he lie on forms or something??

like i don't think he's taking extra credit classes as a high school student because he was also advertising the media department when we saw him, and i don't think he'd be doing that if he was in high school

jon makes sense because he had a fake identity which COULD put him in college. but jay???

honestly lying on paper is such a jay nakamura thing to do if he doesn't want people tracking him down by cross-referencing his birthday with government records

jay nakamura's number-one tip of running an anonymous underground activist stream: hide all identifiable information from the government

(this does not work when you are widely recognized as superman's boyfriend)

also now that dick is backing the truth can we PLEASE get tim in on it. i think it'd be so fucking funny. i think he and jay would have a grand old time breaking into firewalls and digging through internet archives and exposing corrupt people

tim is like "FINALLY i have something fun to do at all those fucking galas bruce makes me go to" because jay needs some rich guy's vacation itinerary so he knows the prime time to break into his house and gather evidence for something

i just have so much appreciation for jay nakamura you guys i love him so much

[derekmorgansgirl]

Derek Morgan x Chubby BAU!Reader

I absolutely hate that there is not enough out there about my literal comfort and joy, Derek Morgan, so I'm here to write what I wish I could read about him.

This is a oneshot following Y/n and Derek's angsty relationship over time. He has always flirted with her, but she was insecure and assumed he was joking around, so she always brushed him off. One day, she had enough and snapped at him, resulting in a very heated, very public argument.

Y/n's stomach dropped to her butt when she stepped through the elevator doors to the wide open bullpen of the BAU. It was her first day working as their new media liaison after their old one had switched positions. She honestly had little clue what she was supposed to be doing that day except for meeting her new boss, Aaron Hotchner.

She picked her jaw up off the floor and blinked her wide-eyed look away as she began to scan the room for Hotchner's office. Although, apparently, her confused figure drew some attention because two people approached her, startling her out of her concentration.

Upon first impression, she noticed the difference between the two people. One brown skinned man, tall, muscular, intimidating. And the other, a much shorter white woman, blonde, colorful, and friendly. The man, Y/n could see as an agent of the FBI. The woman, however, looked like an elementary teacher.

"Hey, there," the man said, "what's a pretty little lady like you doin' round here?" he said with a flirtatious grin.

Before I could even think of a reply, the woman playfully rolled her eyes before turning to me and speaking, "Don't mind him. He's well aware of his good looks and likes to use them for nefarious intentions," she glared at him. "I'm Penelope Garcia, the most beautiful, most genius technical analysist. And he's-"

"Really forward," Y/n says with an awkward laugh.

"Oh, it's Derek Morgan, actually. But you," he punctuates with a glance up and down her body, "can call me Chocolate Thunder."

"Yeah, that most definitely will not be happening, Derek Morgan."

Derek feigns a disappointed sigh before asking, "No, really, though. What are you doin' here? Can we help you with anything?"

They both look at her expectantly, eyebrows raised and fully attentive. "Oh, um, I'm supposed to be finding Aaron Hotchner's office," Y/n replies, but it sounds more like a question. "We had a meeting for," her eyes widen with a glance at her watch "7 minutes ago! Oh, God!"

"Oh, dear! Come with me, sweetheart, I'll take you there! And don't you even worry I will take full accountability of the delay and explain what happened," gushed Penelope while dragging you through the bullpen, Y/n's hand in hers.

Still shocked from the previous interaction, Y/n makes no effort to reply to her. It doesnt go unnoticed, however, because Penelope turns around to look at her for a second before continuing the walk.

"I'm, once again, sorry for Morgan. He goes a little overboard with his flirtations sometimes. I would certainly know," she giggles out. "You just have to learn not to take him seriously, everything he says is out of kindness. He really is a good man, you know-"

"Garcia?" a deep voice cuts her off.

"Hotch! Sir, I am so, so sorry. She looked so lost and confused, so Morgan and I were greeting her, and then she told us she was late for a meeting with you, so I rushed her over, and I'm so terribly sorry, this is on me! But she's here now, this is- Oh, I didn't catch your name," Penelope manages to spit out in one breath while the tall man stands there, hands in his pockets, a slightly amused look on his face.

"It's okay, Garcia. This is Y/n Y/l/n, our new media liaison. Now please excuse us, as you said, we have a meeting," he says calmly.

"Ok!" And with that, she's already turning around and scurrying away.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Aaron Hotcher, unit chief of the BAU. Come on in."

/// One month later ///

After that first meeting, especially what Garcia had said about him, Y/n had just assumed that Derek was joking around with her. She had seen him cozying up to plenty of other women. Prettier women.

But that didn't stop him from calling you such ridiculous, clearly mocking nicknames.

"Hey, baby doll. Maybe after you finish up those files, I can give you a ride home," Derek tells her with a wink.

"Um, no. I have a lot to finish and to be honest, I dont- I dont really think thats a good idea," Y/n says before clearing her throat.

"Aww, why not? You not that into me, pumpkin?" Derek leaned against her desk. And that's when it hit her. Of course. He was only doing this to make fun of her. She'd known that from the start. But she didn't know why until he had said it. It was because of her appearance, she told herself, short and round. Like a pumpkin.

The logical side of her knew it was likely not true, but her insecurities got the best of her. She had always been self conscious about her size, and it was easier to tell herself that he was just like everybody else. I mean, a handsome, fit man like him? No wonder he was messing with her.

"No, not really," Y/n said with a fake smile. "You can go now, Morgan."

///

Y/n had been growing closer to the team, especially Reid. They had a lot of similar interests. They both liked reading, nerdy TV shows, and most importantly they got along really well.

The other team members had taken notice of this, of course. But Derek, most especially. Y/n couldn't figure out why, but it seemed that he couldn't pry his eyes away whenever he saw Y/n and Spencer together.

Y/n and Spencer had been making their coffee side by side while chuckling and conversing about last night's episode of Doctor Who. It was something that Spencer admitted he got mocked for by multiple people, but she didn't understand why. So it became their thing. A couple nights a week, Y/n would go to Spencer's apartment and watch a few episodes with him.

Derek approached the two and grabbed a packet of sugar to pour into his own steaming mug. "What're you two nerds talking about, huh?" He said with a false smirk.

"Oh, um, we were just talking about last night," Spencer stuttered out as Derek had startled him when he snuck up behind him.

"Oh," Derek quirked an eyebrow, "last night, huh? You making a play on sweet pumpkin here?"

Spencer shook his head, embarrassed, "No! We were watching Doctor Who together."

"Huh," Derek rubbed his tongue along the inside of his cheek, "well, maybe I can take you home then tonight, Y/n, it only seems fair," he says as his smirk reappears.

"Spence and I actually had plans tonight, and he's better company than you, but thank you," Y/n replies rather harshly, causing both Derek and Spencer's faces to break into a startled reaction.

"Oh, you call watching your geeky little show in your pajamas while stuffing your face with snacks plans?" He jokingly said, but you took it as a joke that you were the butt of.

"Really? I mean, I already suspected that was why you're always mocking me, but I didn't expect you to outright and say it," Y/n crossed her arms as an attempt to shield her body.

"Whoa, what?" Derek said, suddenly conscious of everyone's eyes watching the scene. "What are you talking abou-"

"Seriously?! Are you gonna pretend to be stupid, too. You've been messing with me since the day we met, and don't act like you weren't aware of it," she slans her mug down onto the counter, causing Spencer to flinch as he awkwardly shuffles away from the two of you.

"Okay, what in the actual hell are you talking about? I have not been messing with you!" He raises his hand to smooth it across his hair.

"Oh, yes you have! Flirting with me, feigning an interest in me when you know that someone like me will never have for real!"

"Thats not why I- What do you mean someone like you?"

"Someone whos always sitting around in their pajamas stuffing their face with snacks, as you might recall saying. Short and fat, like a pumpkin, right?" Y/n said, suddenly feeling more self-conscious and insecure than she had anytime that stupid nickname slipped from his beautiful lips.

"Oh, my God. No, thats not at all what I meant by that. I- I thought you would have realized by now that-" Derek said, his eyes swelling with tears that she knew he would never let fall in front of the team.

"That what?" Y/n had asked flatly, though her face was still wet from tears.

"Baby doll, I really like you. I have from the start. Thats why I flirted with you! Not to mock you or make you feel bad about yourself. I would never do that. Especially not to someone like you. You're so incredible and I have never met a woman like you. Please let me make this up to you."

"No," she replied with a sob, causing him to momentarily panic. "You didnt do anything wrong. I'm just an idiot," they both laughed as she said that.

"Then, tell me. Do you maybe feel the same? Even after you thought I was ridiculing you for months?"

"Yeah," she whispered before grabbing his tie and pulling him down to crash her lips into his.

His hand immediately found her waist and hers on his face. They laughed while their lips pressed together in an explosive way she could have never imagined. His hand traveled around to her lower back, causing her to let out a gasp, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. Y/n let him know that she appreciated it by letting out a quiet moan, when suddenly they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

"Okay, cute moment, guys," JJ said with a mocking pout, "There are kids being kidnapped and murdered but sure, sure, take your sweet time making out in the kitchen. Get your asses over here!"

__________________________________

The pumpkin thing was definitely inspired off of a similar situation in the movie Dumplin' but shhh

PLEASE like and comment and reblog if you enjoyed it takes such little time and shows so much support

In the same respect I am open to constructive criticism always so dont he afraid to comment your ideas

LOVE DEREKKK

[cy-cyborg]

Hey Cy,

If I have a character with a disability that makes him an ambulatory wheelchair user, with a prosthetic shoulder-left arm, prosthetic above knee amputation on his right leg, and who helps fights monsters in multiple different settings (but who’s usual setting is a city one) what default wheelchair would you suggest?

Before he starts using a wheelchair he uses prosthetics full time which is incredibly taxing on him but he does it bc he has some internalized ableism he works through as the story progresses. Towards the middle-to-end of the story he starts adapting to using a chair more.

I’m having trouble mainly because I don’t know how he would move his wheelchair if he would need both arms to propel it but he only has the one arm. I saw that some wheelchairs have a gear shift-esque handle on them to propel them forward too which might work. I thought of a power chair for him but if I’m working with a high speed city terrain idk if a power chair would work.

One of his magical abilities is that he can mold and shape the terrain and ground to his liking which I thought would help with the terrain issue and bumping/falling over broken pavement but if you have suggestions for that power as it relates to his disability please lmk.

Thanks for reading all this, I appreciate any and all feedback on this. :)

So take this with a grain of salt, since I'm not an arm amputee/don't have any (major) upper-body mobility issues, but there's a few options.

A power chair would probably be my first suggestion. While lower-end power chairs can be pretty slow and clunky, higher end ones can be fast and durable. I've tried a few that were even all-terrain (though that's probably not what your character would need).

Something like an Omeo could be another option. Omeos are very new so they're not super common yet, but they work kind of like a segway, you lean in the direction you want to go instead of pushing your arms, so they're gaining popularly with arm amputees. They require a lot of core strength though (my abs ached for a week after using one for a few hours, but I'm really out of shape), and they can be a bit... touchy? My partner nearly threw me out of the one I tried by putting his hand on my shoulder when I wasn't paying attention, so it could be risky if your character takes a hit. They can also be a bit harder for leg amputees to use, but since your character still has one, they should be fine on that front.

Some people I know have just a regular active chair like this, but get it modified so one side is heavier to offset only being able to push on one side, or get attachments like a smart drive (basically, cruise control for wheelchairs) or Batec Handbikes, which are an attachment that clips onto the front of a manual chair which has motor-bike kind of controls.

I have no idea what her name was, but I once played wheelchair basketball against a woman from Canada with one of her arms entirely paralysed. I don't think her chair had any modifications (they're pretty strictly against that in wheelchair basketball at the higher levels where I met her) but instead she had a very distinct way of pushing to account for only having one functional arm. If anyone knows her name, lmk, she was on the Canadian national women's team so there's probably some footage out there of her which might be useful to look at.

As for powers, be careful with terrain manipulation specifically. It's a pretty common trope to give a character with a disability powers that specifically mitigate their disability and it's impact on their life, which terrain manipulation definitely could. It's not impossible to do it well, but you would be walking a very fine line. If you do decide to stick with terrain manipulation powers, be sure to show that this doesn't "fix" issues of inaccessibility (e.g. technically, he can use his powers to turn stone stairs into a ramp, but doing so in town will almost certainly get him fined or even arrested for destruction of property, so it's still not solving the problem. It also only solves it for him, but other disabled people are still left behind due to a lack of access).

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I'm very definitively positive on clone/Jedi relationships, both platonic and romantic.

I'm going to hit the biologically children thing first because like... no, they're not. If you want to go that route, then you have to count Grogu as a middle aged adult because he's 50 years old even though his official name for a while was literally "The Child" and he's definitely treated like a child in the narrative more often than he isn't. Jango Fett was (as far as I'm aware) a regular human. The clones, the altered ones at least (so not Omega or Boba), are almost an entirely different species. They LOOK human, but they've been engineered to be different from the baseline human they were based off of to the point that they aren't necessarily all that similar to a regular human beyond cosmetics. So if you don't view them as "fucked up humans who should be treated like children because they're technically only 10 years old" and instead view them as "subspecies of human that reaches maturity around 9 years old", then it's a lot harder to view them as children.

I think that it's fair to claim that the clones are SHELTERED and likely fairly ignorant and naive about a lot of things in the world due to their upbringing, sure, but that doesn't make them children. They're also relatively young regardless of whether you'd consider them children or not, the youngest ones we know about are sent out to war at what would be the equivalent of about 20 years old and they're only around 26ish by the time the war ENDS. So even accounting for the accelerated aging, they're still pretty young and there's going to be a lot about the galaxy and how to live in it that would be new to them. Their understanding of how relationships work is going to be skewed given everything we know about their childhoods and the way the Kaminoans canonically seem to view them.

So I think that the Jedi and clones would likely often end up in a sort of mentor/mentee relationship, especially in the beginning. We see this most strongly with Yoda and the three Coruscant Guard characters and Plo Koon with the three 104th characters in the first four episodes of season 1, as well as with Shaak Ti and Fives and Echo during the Clone Cadets episode of season 3. The Jedi are natural teachers and I think they'd start to get to know these young men who are so devastatingly intelligent but who were only ever taught about how to fight a war and they'd immediately take the opportunity to help guide the clones towards figuring out who they are and who they want to be. We're pretty much told that this is true point blank when I believe it's Nala Se or Lama Su speaks to Dooku during season 6 and they say that the Jedi have been encouraging individuality in the clones. Fives says that the Jedi respect the clones and calls the Jedi their best friends at two separate points in the narrative. The Jedi literally use their OWN PHILOSOPHIES to help the clones learn what it means to be PEOPLE and to embrace that for themselves.

The relationship between the Jedi and the clones is honestly one of the most beautiful and heartwrenching dynamics in the entirety of Star Wars to me. Their destinies are entwined irrevocably and they are each the others' doom and salvation all at once. The Jedi help the clones discover who they are, but they're also going to end up being the reason the clones lose all sense of themselves. The clones are a light in the dark for the Jedi during the war, but they're also going to be the weapon that helps plunge the entire world into darkness by eliminating the Jedi. These two groups that are SO similar in so many ways but for vastly different reasons who are thrown together by forces beyond either of their control and learn to understand each other better than anyone else ever has and love and trust each other implicitly for it and that love and trust is then used to destroy them both. It's absolutely devastating and really gets me in those feels.

As far as romantic ships, I sort-of said my piece on the age thing earlier, but I honestly find that fussing about characters' ages in Star Wars is more ridiculous than it usually is. These characters are literally ALIENS and it's a universe where human characters who are twelve years old are allowed to hold office. I have my personal preferences in terms of clone/Jedi ships, but I am a very ship and let ship sort of person (yes, even with the ships I DESPISE), so I'm not going to make a big deal out of clone/Jedi ships. I also like clone/clone ships which tons of people find problematic for other reasons, so whatever.

I HAVE seen the superior/subordinate thing get addressed in clone/Jedi fics before. Sometimes it ends in the characters deciding to wait until after the war and when the clones are given rights and official citizenship status or something before they begin a romantic relationship, and sometimes it ends in the characters recognizing that a lot of the rules shouldn't really matter when they're at war and they could die literally any day and they deserve to find happiness and pleasure where they can find it so long as they work to ensure that this doesn't impact their respective responsibilities. Again though, this is a space fantasy and absolutely nobody on the writing staff for The Clone Wars was taking the structure and internal dynamics of this fantasy military particularly seriously, so I'm not sure why I or anyone else should have to if they don't want to.

So yeah, I love relationships between the clones and Jedi, it's probably my favorite dynamic in the whole franchise, regardless of whether it's platonic or romantic.