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clairethecutepup · 9 months ago

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Fazbear Frights (The Fanfiction Chronicles): In Your Dreams... (Ch. 1)

Fazbear Entertainment performs a business collaboration with Bogosoft, who is involved more in the comic and video game industry. The partnership involves a promotion on both ends: Bogosoft makes their latest platformer idea reality, while Fazbear Entertainment agrees to feature animatronics based on Bogosoft's characters. The characters in question are from Bogosoft's latest and retro throwback hit, Corn Kidz 64: the one-horned goats, Seve and Alexis. Two characters that are of great interest to Claire, the current night guard of the lucky location. Even if it’s just as animatronics instead of the real deal, it's always a dream come true to have your favorite characters brought to life! However, it'll always devolve into a nightmare when you become their favorite person...

[Chapter 1: Starting the First Sleepover…]

Claire considers herself blessed, though odd it may be. The factory was supposed to be her safe haven from jobs that'd otherwise force her to face customers, but mass layoffs ensued from diminishing sales. Claire worried she'd have to stick by the idea of choosing more... drastic options, should she have ever been faced with the threat of returning to that Hell. There was a reason it would often follow: "Retail." Of course, it goes double for working through a pandemic, which cemented Claire's dark promise to herself. Luckily, there was that "blessedness" of her situation currently: a job as a night guard, than another hapless soul behind a counter or where else she'd be vulnerable to further abuse-- including physical. Yes, a guard still had physical threats to consider, but she'd be allowed to harm them in return without as much consequence.

Then again, she's "guarding" a pizzeria, not a bank nor museum that'd tempt the eye of many a thief nor other malicious intruder. It was tricky to adjust to a new sleep schedule, having been so used to waking up with the sun, but the moon would soon have her as its companion instead. To make it less of a chore, Claire just pretended she was a werewolf who's ready to face another night of defending her den. Who ever said growing old meant growing up? Fortunately, night became less scary, the more she felt used to its presence as darkness. It honestly wasn't all that different from the vacant and darkened landscape of early factory day mornings.

Claire became used to things, soon enough. However, there was one change that'd come: in addition to the standard Fazbear quartet of Bonnie, Chica, Foxy and Freddy himself, there'd be two new characters. Claire recognized them from that new and retro-styled video game, Corn Kidz 64: Seve and Alexis, the one-horned goats. Apparently, Fazbear Entertainment had decided on a collaboration with Bogosoft, the goats' creator: another "retro" title would be made of Freddy and friends, and that promotion on Bogosoft's part would be met with the promotion of their brand through this new attraction. Why, the in-game "Dreem Soda" had also been added to the menu and “Pizza Nachos” (just cheesy chips with pizza sauce and pepperoni), to further complete the tie-in to one another. Claire felt excited, when she first saw that stage under construction and came across the article on her phone that detailed everything. True, she could have simply satisfied curiosity by means of a simple, "What's gonna be added there?" but human interaction is risky business. Even before all of... that retail stuff, Claire still kept to herself more than anything.

Eventually, the proper stage for the new animatronics would finish, and the unicorn-esque duo arrived. When doing her rounds that night, Claire's heart beat with excitement as she got closer to that area of the building. It was more efficient to take her time during the "on foot" part of her security job, as the cameras couldn't always show everything. Plus, Claire wouldn’t be a very good guard if she just ran to the place that caught her eye over personal interests, rather than reasonable suspicion. But soon enough, she finally arrived at that little stage built just for them: the checkered floor of a square, the painted red background that sat behind a fence painted over it, and the gothic goats themselves that stood front and center. Seve remained frozen in his typical grouchy frown, while Alexis smiled at nothing as a happy statue. They were one of the few times where a character avoids looking terrifying in a realistic and three dimensional plane, even when that appearance is accompanied by the black joint indents and vacant eyes of an animatronic.

Claire steps onto the stage herself, wanting to get a closer look. She always wondered what it’d be like to actually meet some of her favorite fictional characters. It’s a true testament to Claire’s short height, when Mr. 3’ 7 and Ms. 3’ 8 reached the woman’s flatter breasts. Combined with the youthful and round face, it’s no wonder her ID became her best drinking buddy-- or shopping buddy, as bars would never be ideal to her. Claire walks around the duo a few times, taking in every last detail on how they might’ve been if they were real people (animals?). Claire gets the weird idea to hug them, especially Alexis, but that’s both unprofessional and possibly a bit dangerous: they were designed for performance, not physical contact, so Claire’s little but buff arms could bust something. Still, a tiny hand would reach out and satisfy its curiosity of how soft Alexis’ “fur” was. Very, to the point where Claire could imagine herself wanting a blanket made out of the same material.

Claire walks back in front of them, wondering what their show would be like. It’d probably be something akin to Freddy and crew’s, except less about musical numbers and more about the banter. Something about the article claimed “interactiveness,” so Claire imagined AI could be involved to make the characters seem even more lifelike. What kind of conversations would she have with them…? Well, if she could even muster the courage-- even if these weren’t actual beings who could judge her as a creepy or unpleasant fan. Claire even wondered if she would count as a “loser” or “creep” regardless for sharing a child’s level of interest in fictional beings… Claire couldn't help it, though! Seve was just so cool, and Alexis had a friendly and bubbly air that made her a comforting character. If only Claire could follow Alexis' example or be Seve, except a wolf instead of a goat.

Well, Claire couldn't stay on stage with them the whole night, she still has a job to do and more pizzeria to inspect. Once again, nothing seemed out of place and it's time to return to the office cameras. Claire stopped by Seve and Alexis' stage once more. She couldn't help but approach again, just for one final look and slight wonderment of what they'll be like as part of Freddy's. Maybe she could watch their performance and finally get an idea of what they sound like, outside of the in-game baaing? Jeez, all of this obsessiveness on her part made Claire wonder what it would be like for a fictional character to become real in general... How creepy would it be to appear in a world where everyone somehow knows all about you and especially wants to cling to you? Well, at the very least, Claire could convince herself she's not a full-on "loser creep" over those character-based interests: she wouldn't be acting like this if they weren't just lifeless animatronics, for one thing.

Claire looked down at Seve one final time, her tilted head filled with the idea of him trying that new "Pizza Nachos" item-- possibly from personal consolation, after Alexis forced him along to Freddy's to admire the animal band and play the games here. Claire could totally imagine that sort of adventure for them... But what she didn't imagine was Alexis' eyes staring at her. Claire thought something seemed odd in her upper peripheral vision, making her own eyes shift upward on her still-lowered head. Alexis' magenta eyes shift forward again, only barely preventing true eye contact with Claire's big blues; however, Claire didn't need the eye contact to know what she saw, what Alexis just did when she's not supposed to be active...

Claire jumps off the stage and looks back, specifically at the doe. She knows it's not sleep deprivation, she's far too used to working this nightly shift... Alexis was staring at her and tried to act like nothing happened. Claire tries to process the scary event… Was Alexis not fully off and thus has some "detection" mode on for people; but then, why did she look away like she didn't want Claire to notice? And what about Seve: was he secretly staring at Claire, too, just doing a better job of secrecy?

Claire didn't think she was in any actual danger... Seve and Alexis wouldn't be designed for such a thing, especially not when even their horns would be plush more than actual bone. She walks closer again, making sure to not only stay out of arm's reach but any pouncing distance, as well. She repeatedly flicks her flashlight in Alexis' eyes, trying to provoke another response. When she doesn't get a response, Claire gets another idea to absolutely be sure: she pretends to go on her way, but peers around the corner to see if they... Well, could be "shy." Claire couldn't rely on the camera for a secret view, since Seve and Alexis' stage was in one of the blindspots that made periodic patrols necessary. It's not exactly like two animatronics, who aren't even Fazbear characters to begin with, would be high enough priority for their own personal camera.

Claire's heart sank further than she did behind the corner, when Alexis moved again: her head turned slightly, the rest of her robotic body remaining immobile. Claire couldn't hear them, but she saw the moving mouths that indicated speaking...

"I think she saw me, Seve..."

"Why did you need to move anyway...?!"

"I got nervous! She kept circling us like she knew something..."

"She was just curious or somethin'..."

"But it seemed like an 'I'm onto ya!' kind of thing...!"

"How the heck would she know anything...?! Hmph, she probably does now... If we get scrapped, I'm blaming you."

"Seve...! She's watching us..."

The robotic buck snaps his head toward where the other's gaze fell, the rest of his own body not needing to move either-- despite the 180 degree turn. It was faint, but Claire's little blonde bob cut and pale face managed to stick out from the surrounding darker colors.

"Hey, freeze!"

"W-What are you--?!"

"--Something that's better than just hoping she stays quiet!"

The animatronics could walk?!! No, RUN-- SOMETHING CLAIRE NEEDS TO DO!! She can only think of fleeing to the office and shutting the door. Seve was fast, despite his shorter legs, but Claire managed to reach the left doorway and press the button. She barely had seconds to spare... Then, she runs to the other door and shuts it, just for safer measure. She perfectly replicates a scared child hiding under their bed, as she crawls under the desk and hugs herself. Did she fall asleep and this was some nightmare...? After all, there's no way someone would need to worry about animatronics harming them in real life, right?

"Hey, open up!" Seve's roars accompanied his pounding, "Don't make me break this stuff down-- I'll find some way to!"

Seve might've been a great deal shorter, but Claire worried size wouldn't be everything... For starters, what if he didn't feel pain, unlike her? At the very least, he could still reach and hit her skull...

"Let me try, Seve..."

"You; the heck are you gonna do?!"

"Well, she's not gonna open up and’ll definitely tell on us, if ya keep scaring her like that!" Alexis then leans against the door, pressing her cloth face on it, "Uh, excuse me, Miss Security Guard...? I know it's really weird and maybe even scary to see us moving and talking... But we're nice, I promise!"

Claire doesn't know if she can trust them... Seve, for one thing, can be quite punch-happy if he's provoked enough, and she’d imagine his robotic twin being similar. Cloth or not, she'd imagine it'd hurt.

"Come out, pretty please...?" Alexis still tries, "Uh... I'll give you some candy?"

"'Candy'?!" Seve repeats, "That's the best you got?!"

"... Everyone likes it?"

Claire looks at the clock: she's got a few more hours to go and she's not sure if she can stay in here for that long. Not just for bathroom-related matters, but also because the office wasn't designed as Fort Knox: the idea was just to make it harder to get inside, not impossible. Maybe she could call the police and claim that someone had broken in and was trying to "leave no witnesses"? She was honestly a bit scared of Seve and Alexis returning to normal when someone arrived, however... That'd be an awkward explanation to give.

"Just keep her in there..." Seve walks away, "I got an idea..."

Claire just remains in her huddled position, as Alexis keeps trying to coax her into opening up. Then, the sound of the ventilation shaft gets Claire's attention: Seve lifts the grate open and enters her office. Claire doubts she'd be able to reach the door Alexis isn't behind in time, plus she doesn't know if the doe actually moved there; so the poor kid just stays hidden behind her chair and under her desk. Seve just looks at her, as he opens both doors and lets Alexis enter through the left one. They approach the chair that Claire believes will save her: Seve has his arms folded, and Alexis more gingerly holds her hooves together and with a friendlier smile.

"Uh, hiyah..." Alexis waves, "Sooo... Uh, yeah, it seems they, er, accidentally made us alive?"

"Accidentally alive"? Claire wasn't sure how someone "accidentally" creates apparent life... Okay, technically it is possible, like when people have too much to drink-- but there's a clear difference between "surprises" and artificial intelligence becoming artificial life! Claire would've been far more comfortable with the notion, actually, if she wasn't afraid about what might be done next to keep things a secret... If Seve would chase her down like that, perhaps even death could be a solution here if desperate enough? Sure, Claire found no reason to be scared of what happens to all eventually, it was more so the likely anguish during the process that terrified her. Claire just stays behind the chair, gripping it with both hands and wondering how effective her flashlight would be for makeshift clubbing.

"I promise we won't take over the world or anything!" Alexis continues, "We can't even leave the pizzeria... So, maybe you could just pinkie promise or something to stay quiet?"

Alexis offers her wiggling one, making Claire shrink back.

"... Okay, this ain't gonna work..." Seve rolls his eyes, fighting Claire for the chair, "Plan B: we just knock her out, now gimme that flashlight and get outta there!"

"Seve, that's not gonna help!"

"You can help by holding her down and helping me realize when she stops moving."

"Shoo, go on, shoo..." Alexis waves him away, "Let Ol’ Lexi take care of everything!"

"After Ol' Lexi caused everything by having to friggin' move?"

Alexis just pouts and points, making the buck roll his eyes and walk off with hunched shoulders. Alexis then kneels down and smiles at Claire again.

"Seve's just silly, we won't actually hurt'cha!" Alexis raises her pinkie again, "See? Pinkie promise! Just like you could make one to...? I'll even let you touch my face again, if ya want!"

Now Claire feels like the creepy one... But how was she to know they were sentient enough to require consent? But anyhow, despite Seve's more aggressive demeanor, the animatronics were acting pretty much in character... So, maybe Alexis wouldn't hurt her? It's not like she's exactly able to escape right now anyhow-- and she doesn't dare risk Seve's wrath with some immediate flashlight-clubbing! Claire reaches a shaky pinky out, careful to prevent her wrist from suddenly being grabbed and herself yanked by it. Soft, fleshy digit wraps around hard, plastic digit.

"See? It's a promise!" Alexis giggles, "We won't hurt you, and you can't tell anyone!"

Claire just nods, wondering what to do now. She didn't trust Seve to stick by that promise-- even though she didn't dare squeal about this. Claire then perks up, as Alexis' pinkie-promising hoof gently moves up her tiny hand and holds it, rubbing the palm with a thumb.

"You're so soft," Alexis giggled, "... Can I hug ya?"

Claire didn't fully trust her yet, but she suddenly found herself pulled out by just that gentle hoof. Alexis catches her, Claire now standing evenly at the other’s height by being on her knees. It felt more like being enveloped by a stuffed animal than a robot. Alexis giggles again and squeezes Claire.

"You really are soft..." the doe wags her tail, "I could hold you forever."

Claire looks at Seve, who growls and presses a plastic finger into her nose. Yeah, Claire definitely wouldn't say anything... Alexis then presses Claire's head against hers, her plastic grin wide as it possibly could be.

"I like ya..." she giggles, "Say, why don't we be friends? You know we're alive, sooo..."

"Why?" Seve asks, "I doubt she even likes ya herself..."

"Come on, Seve, you can never have too many friends!" Alexis then leans into his ear, "Plus, she might be less likely to tell on us if we're friends..."

Claire could still hear that, since her head was still against Alexis'... Seve just rolled his eyes at the notion, but he didn't seem too interested in arguing. Alexis finally releases Claire, who's past the point of running and just accepting things, as they all sit together in the office. Alexis wanted Claire to tell her everything: what it's like to be made of flesh and bone instead, what it's like outside the pizzeria... Claire gave the smallest and simplest answers she could, avoiding eye contact and trying to work up the courage for her own questions. Luckily, Alexis already had that base covered.

"So, I guess it's only fair to say some stuff about us, too, huh?"

Claire lifts her head, finally making direct eye contact.

"I bet you were curious," Alexis giggles, "So, wanna know anything about us? I can start by telling you I love animals, like how it'd be super cool to have those adorable little stuffed animals of Freddy and everyone!"

“... When did you become sentient…?”

“Hmmm?�� Alexis leans closer, aiming an ear at her and holding a hoof beside it, “Speak up, I can’t hear ya.”

Claire repeats it, making Alexis lean back and tap her chin.

“You mean: ‘When did Seve and I start being alive’? Umm… I guess the first time we opened our eyes.”

It was a rather strange experience for the two… Just endoskeletons with functional eyes, taking in their surroundings and the beings within it. Neither had any idea that the identical, metallic frame of a face sitting across them would become their friend. Their ONLY friend… The two always had a feeling that if they made their “advanced technology” a bit too obvious, they’d probably be in some deep trouble. Not all people would just follow Claire’s example of simply running away… Though, everyone behaving more terrifiedly than hostilely would still be quite lonesome, even if the goats remained with each other.

They were curious as to what they are and what they’re apparently meant to become: whenever alone, they’d examine and test their latest parts-- from new voice boxes, to their new and operable hooved hands. Of course, Alexis couldn’t resist playfully booping Seve’s snout, prompting the other incomplete endoskeleton and body to smack her hand away. Eventually, they’d be finished and take in the full extent of their given identities: no longer were they simply the replicated minds of Seve and Alexis, but the actual goats in the flesh-- or cloth.

Unfortunately, they never had much to do when finally left alone. Sure, they could make what little conversation they could or Alexis would amuse herself with Seve’s annoyance; but they couldn’t risk doing too much nor get too engrossed overall, lest they risk being walked in on and face who-knows-what. However, there was one way they could frolic together and amuse themselves safely: the dreams they managed to share. Claire guessed she could see it: if Seve and Alexis had enough sentience to form memories and engage with her like this, then it wouldn’t be too farfetched to imagine their artificial intelligence as advanced enough to replicate a brain’s dreaming projections. But what does an animatronic dream of…?

“We have lots of adventures when we dream!” Alexis explains, “We can go to all sorts of places and do all sorts of things! I even got to be a cumulonim-bush: it’s a big, fluffy cloud, but it’s made of leaves instead!” she then widens her eyes, before smooshing Claire’s face in between her hands, “Wait, if Seve and I can dream together, maybe you can join us, too! We can be ‘dream buddies,’ on top of friends!”

Claire blinks in response, trying to comprehend that. She knew it was possible to dream about other people, but could you really share a dream with someone? Not to mention, sharing a dream with two “someone’s” like them.

“Oh, let’s try it right now!”

Claire’s eyes widened at the suggestion.

“I don’t wanna…” she whimpered, “I’ll get in trouble ‘cause I slept while working…”

“Not if Seve and I can help it,” Alexis giggles, “Come on, let’s try it!”

“I can’t sleep, even if I wanted to…”

“Just leave it to me! Um, let’s see…”

Alexis lies her horn against Claire’s forehead, shutting her eyes tightly and straining to have some manner of effect. Perhaps the real Alexis could’ve had some effect with that horn, but not some robotic copy.

“Uh, I don’t think it’s working…” Seve points out, “Besides, do we really need to include her?”

“It’ll be fun, Seve!” Alexis assures, then looks at Claire, “So, is there anything that helps get ya sleepy?”

“No, I can’t…” Claire whimpers, “I gotta stay awake…”

In all honesty, even if she was allowed to sleep, Claire didn’t trust these two enough with her semi-conscious body.

“Aww, but I wanna see if we can…” Alexis pouts, then grins, "Oh, maybe we could get you a glass of warm milk or get you your own stuffed toy to sleep with!"

Claire bites her lip, realizing "No," meant: "I just need help making it a 'yes' instead!" She just shakes her head at the robot, who kept spouting off various ideas on how they could become "dream buddies."

"Oh, I've got it!" Alexis finally gasps and pulls Claire from chair to knees, "Sometimes, people get sleepy when they're rocked, right?"

Seve rolls his eyes, "You gonna sing her a lullaby, too, Mom?"

Claire grimaces at the thought, uncomfortable of being treated like an actual infant... It doesn't matter what makes her uncomfortable, as long as it makes her sleepy, however. In that stuffed animal's hug again, Claire sways back and forth, while Alexis hums and rocks on her heels. She's careful not to do it too quickly, thus sickening the other or making them fall onto each other. The tune she hums sounded familiar, reminding Claire of their originating game's music: specifically, it was a tune that felt better suited for climbing a certain anxiety-inducing tower whose fitting name contrasted with the gentler and soothing melody. Seve facepalms, disbelieving of how Alexis is actually going through with his sarcastic suggestion-- more or less. He'd better keep his yap shut, or this poor lady might actually find herself set in a crib afterwards... But then, his eyes widened at quite the surprise: Claire's own eyes actually grew heavier with each soothing sway. Soon, reality became a fleeting memory...

When Claire opened her eyes again, she stood in a strange new area: it seemed like a giant playground of sorts, with playful equipment and the surrounding fencing on the upper cliffside. However, this area was far from the innocent nature of most ones: the sky was a reddish purple, there was a desolateness outside the fencing, and there was a giant pair of dentures with a top hat and eyeballs. That last one especially creeped Claire out...

"Wow, it worked, you're really here!"

Claire turned around, facing the caprine duo; however, despite still standing no taller than before, there's a clear difference to them now… and herself, as well.

[End Chapter]

#corn kidz 64 #fanfiction #fazbear frights #five night's at freddy's #seve the goat #alexis the goat #crossover fanfic #horror comedy #psychological horror

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armydreamerr · 3 months ago

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ranking junji ito maniac episodes cause im just on a junji ito kick lately

8. story of the mysterious tunnel/ice cream bus. the tunnel one was good UNTIL we found out that the tunnel was actually for. i feel like sometimes in junji ito’s works there’s a really cool set up that leads to something dumb (gyo also suffers from this) and this was one of those times. ice cream bus was also so dumb i felt insulted.

7. tomie’s photos. this one was probably good but i fell asleep watching it so How Good can it really be.

6. the strange hizikuri siblings: the seance. ACTUALLY funny i promise. i liked the hikizuri siblings’ dynamic it was so entertaining.

5. hanging blimp. kind of another tunnel/gyo situation where the set up was creepy af and then it devolved into more weird/sci-fi stuff which made it less scary. i will say i have never seen anything like this before.

4. 4 x 4 walls/the sandman’s lair. unfortunately i have no memory of the sandman’s layer. 4 x 4 walls is SO good though. soichi is such a petty brat. i love the stupid ass concept and that weird ass repairman.

3. layers of fear/the thing that drifted ashore. layers of fear was so viscerally gross to me and my brother that we decided if the skin peeling scene went on for any longer we’d shut it off. luckily it ended just then. this episode still grosses me out though. washed ashore is good but feels underwhelming? i expected so much more lowkey especially because i love ocean related horror.

2. alley/the headless statue. alley is actually scary for some reason, like this story genuinely made me feel unease. so good and so creepy. headless statue is like a nightmare.

1. intruder/long hair in the attic. no notes, this episode is fantastic. intruder is such a cool concept and i kind of adore the weird ass dynamic oshikiri and his BRAND NEW friends have where they’re like. willing to hide a body for each other. long hair in the attic remains my favourite junji ito story. it’s so simple but so freaky. and some of the imagery in that episode is just peak, like when the girl find’s her sister’s head strung up in the attic. fantastic stuff. so glad this is the 1st episode i watched.

#jay's soliloquies

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jinxxedwammys · 4 years ago

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In celebration of 100 followers I present to you

Wammy boys in oddly specific AUs I found on pinterest and stuff.

Warnings: Swearing (mostly in Mello’s part as usual lol)

"I mistook you for my best friend and jumped on your back in public and now I'm embarrassed"

🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂🍨🍦🍭🍮🎂

It was during the Kira case when L was closely investigating Light Yagami at To-Oh University that this extremely awkward encounter occurred. The sun was high in the sky, locusts and could be heard and cherry blossom littered the wide walkway leading into the school.

You had your heavy bag slung across your shoulders. It was filled with textbooks and papers (some of which you had forgotten to turn in) as well as a few personal items. You weren't really paying much attention to your surroundings until you spotted one of your male friends!

You hadn't seen him since the beginning of high-school. To say you were excited was an understatement. In your excitement you took a running jump onto his back knocking him to the ground. He let out a yelp and that was when you realized...

This man was NOT your friend.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry I thought you were someone else" you hurriedly said pushing yourself up and on your knees an apparent redness in your face.

He seemed to be unbothered for the most part, he turned to you, crouching in a sort of fetal position.

"It's alright I understand" He replied.

"No, no its not.. I'm an idiot I should have realized" you shoved your face into your hands covering how red your face now was.

"It is alright, I'm uninjured and it was an honest mistake" you frowned a little not entirely trusting his forgiveness, but this time, you took it.

He gave you a polite smile before standing up and helping you to your feet. He wished you a good day, and left, but not before sneaking a note containing his alias and phone number.

Mello

"I lost my little sibling Matt in Ikea and I need your help finding them"

🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫

"Fuck.... Shit... Motherfucker" You heard from the other side of the store shelf as you browsed through various decor items. This mystery person had been spewing profanities for the past five minutes. You sighed with slight annoyance placing the wooden model hand you had been staring at for God knows how long back, making your way to the neighboring isle.

"Hey, you've been cursing up a storm... what's going on?" You asked, hand on your hip awaiting a response. Mello looked up at you with a look of anger and exhaustion on his face.

"I'm looking for my idiot friend. He got hopelessly lost in the chair section and I've been trying to find him for like an hour now" He ran a hand through his hair pushing his bangs to the sides of his face.

"I can help you look for him!" You offered.

"You don't have to"

"I want to! I don't really have anything else to do, so it's fine. To be completely honest I don't know why I came here." He shrugged. "Oh my name's Y/N by the way"

"I'm Mello" He replied before setting off out of the isle leaving you to sprint a but to catch up. His pace was fast and he seemed to have some plan on how to tackle this, but you weren't exactly sure.

After what seemed like an eternity of silently weaving through the labyrinth of shelves and furniture displays, you spoke up.

"So... how old is your friend?"

"We're both 19... His name is Matt." You kept walking until he stopped directly in front of the office showroom section.

"He might be here, so keep an eye out for a tall brunette idiot with goggles." You nodded keeping close to Mello. Again you snaked through isles. Eventually your search devolved into looking into cabinets, drawers, anything that would open, but to no avail.

"Where the fuck is he?" Mello said under his breath as he slammed shut another cabinet.

That was when a tall brunette wearing goggles walked by dual wielding hotdogs... You sighed heavily before approaching Matt.

"Matt?" You called out gaining the attention of both Matt and Mello. Mello stood beside you before going on to scold his friend almost as if he were an unruly child.

"Sorry about that I hope looking for him wasn't that unbearable... would you like to meet up sometime again in the future?" Mello asked. You nodded in response.

"I'd love to! This was quite fun actually. Though let's not go to an ikea next time."

Near

"We both like walking In the park at night and I think you're a stalker so I accidentally attack you"

🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖🎲🃏🪀🤖

It was 2am, the night was calm yet you were restless nothing you tried allowed you to fall asleep. It was like this most nights. You would then go to the park near your house to get some fresh air and tire yourself out... and on a night like this, that seemed like a perfect idea. You didn't even change out of your pajamas before you left. As you entered the park, you felt... odd. As if someone was watching you and sure enough, as you turned your head to look behind you you saw a man following about two yards behind you.

Naturally your thoughts went wild with what ifs and possible escape plans. Yet you calmed your mind opting to check if this guy was really following you. With every corner you turned your heart sank. Panic started to set in and you rushed to get together an improvised weapon.... Your housekey! You gripped it tightly in your hand as if it were a knife and swiftly approached the man going to jab him in the eye, yet he caught your arm with ease, turning it behind you and pushing you to the ground, similarly to how a police officer would apprehend a resistant assailant.

"Why did you attack me" he questioned, plopping down just above your hips.

"Let me go, stalker!!!" You yelled at him thrashing around attempting to escape his grasp.

"What are you talking about? I'm not stalking you." He calmly said.

"That's exactly what a stalker would say! Let me go!" He sighed lifting himself off of you and crouching beside you. You rolled over and sat with your legs crossed.

"I swear to you, I was only out for a walk. I take nighttime walks sometimes, though this was the first time I've been in this park."

"Then how come every time I turned you followed?"

"I did? I'm sorry, I didn't even realize" He stated plainly. You sighed he seemed truthful.

"Fine... I'm sorry too, I probably shouldn't have assumed you were a stalker or something and attacked you" you admitted. He shook his head.

"It's alright, I understand... I can be scary" you snorted and laughed. The light of the nearby streetlamp lit his features. A frail, sweet looking man with long white hair who seemed to be somewhat reserved. You felt a little silly that you thought someone like him would hurt you much.

"You're not scary... In all honesty you're quite cute!" You admitted, reaching out a finger to poke his nose.

"Thanks, you're actually quite cute as well, maybe we could meet up here in the morning?" He suggested.

Matt

"I come here when I want to be alone and I didn't think anyone knew about it so where the hell did you come from"

🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮🚬🥽🎮

This day was aweful. Work was extremely stressful. Your coworker put important documents in the shreader for the 10th time that week and you were the one tasked with rewriting, tracking down, requesting new copies and piecing together ones that couldn't be recovered otherwise. And of course your boss made every minute of it a nightmare. So after work, you drove to your favorite place. An abandoned warehouse off the highway about 5 minutes from your house.

It was virtually untouched by people now that the walls were covered in graffiti and the place had been ransacked for leftover valuable items. You made your way inside noticing something was off... there was a leather couch that wasn't yours, a coffee table... even a TV and game console plugged into a power supply, another handheld game on the coffee table next to an ashtray with a few cigarette butts, one of which was still smoking.

You were beyond confused. From the last time you were here someone had basically moved in... it had only been a week since you last came here. You warily approached the couch. Well... whoever left it here probably won't mind! you thought I just hope they didn't sabotage it or something. You then sat down noting that it was a perfectly normal couch and you were just paranoid.

That was when a guy came in, he was tall and lenky, had brown hair and was dressed in a striped shirt, a frankly hideous vest with fur lining, black pants and goggles atop his head. He had been holding a can of coke and a cigarette, yet those were both dropped as he saw you.

"Who are you?" He half shrieked.

"Who are YOU? You yelled back.

"I asked first!"

"My name is Y/N.. I come here all the time when I'm stressed and want to be alone I didn't think anyone else knew about it"

"S..Same but.. I come here to get away from a friend of mine... he can be quite aggressive and it's scary" He sat down beside you picking up his handheld game. "Oh and my name is Matt!"

"Hmm.. then let's share this space from now on, Matt!" He nodded in agreement.

"Yea! I hope we meet again soon"

Beyond Birthday

"We live in the same apartment complex and I accidentally leave my laundry in the washer for a minute too long and you decide to take out all my wet clothes to put yours in just as I walk in"

🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪

It was late night. You had been putting off laundry for the past week, but now you were down to a pair of underwear and your nightgown, so you had to do your wash.. you reluctantly gathered your clothes and made your way to the communal washer and dryer. You threw your clothes in and put a coin in the coinslot then set the washer to start.

You sighed and made your way back to your room to relax a little while your clothes were still washing. It had been about two hours and your laundry was probably done. The timer you had set went off and you gathered yourself and brought the remainder of your clothes as well as your box of dryer sheets.

The moment you walked in your eyes widened in horror. Some odd man sat frantically pulling your clothes out of the washer onto the dirty floor.

"What the hell are you doing??!!" You yelled rushing over to stop him. He peered up at you from his crouching position.

"You left your clothes in too long, its my turn now" You blinked

"Only for a few minutes... it just got done less than 5 minutes ago.. now my clothes are all dirty again.. damn it"

"Sorry" He said. His beady eyes were wide and innocent looking. "I'll let you do yours again... I'll pay" He said before shoving yours back in and starting it again.

When that was done he pulled a jam jar out of seemingly nowhere and perched on top of the washer dipping his hand inside the jar and licking his fingers clean of jam. It was disgusting... But you decided to not pay any more attention to it than you had to.

The rest of the time you spent with him was in silence, all you heard was the washer and his lip-smacking. When the washer finished you silently transferred your clothes to the dryer.. this time without your oddball fellow tenant interfering much. Though when he got his own clothes in he did crawl away which freaked you out.

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headoverhiddles · 5 years ago

Text

Bonnie and Clyde - David Dolores Frank (Marilyn Manson) x Reader

Synopsis: You run into a not-so-armed and dangerous fugitive.

Thanks to @ask-lizzie for the idea! Kind of short, but short and sweet.

Your first thought when you see the cop car ahead of you is to run. Get the hell out of there, before the driver of the car comes back and recognizes you.

It'd be pretty hard to recognize you dressed like this, though. Beanie, black hoodie, no identifiable features visible. You relax a little, and walk normally by toward your motorbike. Looking like a law abiding citizen is less suspicious anyway.

Hearing the sound of shuffling footsteps quickly approaching from behind, you turn. It's a man in a baseball cap, a jacket and jeans, hurrying down the sidewalk with his hands taped together. He gives you an awkward smile as he tries to waddle by.

"Hey! You okay?" you ask.

"I'm sorry, I can't talk right now or I'm going to be murdered," he says. You look behind him in confusion, and see a cop, most likely the owner of the squad car you just walked by, aiming a gun this way.

"Oh," you nod, "I see your point." You grab and tackle him as a gunshot goes off, and you hear the cop swear about something. You figure you have enough to get this guy out of here, so you take him to your motorcycle, urging him on the back as you get your swiss army knife out to cut him free.

"Um, miss? I'm not wearing any protection on my head, and I feel uncomfortable--"

"Just get on the damn bike, hurry!"

He does so, holding on as best he can, and you take off.

"Damn Hell's Angels!" the cop shouts after you, waving his gun. "That's some Sons of Anarchy shit right there!"

As the residential neighborhood starts to fade away behind you two, you kill the speed a little, and sigh in relief for having survived that. You realize his hands have settled around your waist, and he's holding onto you for dear life.

"Hey. Um..." he says loudly, over the roar of the engine. "Thank you. For... saving me? And not letting me... be killed... yeah."

You stop the bike in a relatively deserted part of the city, and help him off.

"Not a problem. I'm always up to look out for a fellow outlaw." You grin. He blinks at you.

"Oh, I'm not a criminal. I was kidnapped, and... I don't really know what happened, but it involved loud music and a scary dude in underwear. That cop guy." He swallows. "You're much prettier to look at than he was... though..."

You raise your eyebrows, and smile a little. This guy is cute.

"What's your name?"

He sticks his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "My name is David Dolores Frank."

"I'm (y/n). Come with me if you want to live." He stares at you in mortal fear, and you wave your hand. "It's a joke. Terminator? Come on." You lead him down an alley. "We'd better lay low for a bit, just in case the creep decides to follow us."

He takes your hand as you walk, and your smile grows. "Question," he says.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you, um, dressed like a hoodlum?" He points to your hoodie, grimacing. "Because you look like a hoodlum."

You slide down the wall, sitting down. "Unlike you apparently, I'm a wanted criminal." He freezes again, his fight or flight obviously engaged, and you roll your eyes. "I saved your life, I'm not about to hurt you." He nods, and cautiously sits down beside you.

"What did you do?"

"Stole the Mona Lisa."

He puts his head in his hands. "Oh my god. Oh my god, that's like... the biggest crime ever. Why did you steal that?"

"I have my reasons," you shrug. He stares at you for a while, before finally deciding you're okay. You catch him staring, and tilt your head back at him. "You're looking at me like I'm about to grow three heads."

"Well, you did just tell me you stole the Mona Lisa... we’re like Bonnie and Clyde, running away from the cops together." You snort.

“Except for the fact that you’re not actually wanted.”

“He wants me.” David scrunches his face up. “That sounds wrong.”

“Just... relax. Try not to freak out, okay?” He sighs.

"I'm sorry. You're just really beautiful, I can't stop looking... um... I'm bad at this."

A blush spreads over your cheeks. You haven't blushed in years. "You're sweet, David Dolores Frank." He rests his head gently on your shoulder, and looks around.

"This alley place is creepy. It's kind of exciting."

"Yeah. This is where I hide when shit goes down. Cops never really think to find me in an alley."

"I don't know. This guy-- my aggressor-- was weird. He was so weird. A dirty cop or something. He was very dirty, called me a street hooker."

"Are you a street hooker?" you ask.

"No!" he protests, "I'm not a street hooker. I'm just..." You smile, nudging him.

"It's cool. I get it."

"The dirty cop man had, like... drugs and stuff, or what I think are drugs because I don't know what drugs look like... in his house. And he lived there with his mom... it was weird." You laugh, shaking your head.

"This story just keeps devolving into more and more of a nightmare."

"I'd still be living it if you hadn't have come along," he says, "He would have shot my legs off or something." You hum.

"Forget it, David Delores Frank. I'm just glad I met you. You're nice, and the only person I've met who hasn't threatened to turn me into the police."

"I wouldn't do that," he mumbles. "Even though I don't know you. I just... like you?" He looks up at you, and then the sky. "Sky's getting dark."

"Yeah. You okay with that?"

"Yeah..." You give one last look down both ends of the alley. He speaks up again. "...I would prefer someplace more well lit, though. With brighter lights."

"My apartment's a couple blocks from here. Wanna crash there?" He nods, and the two of you head over there. Once upstairs, he looks around.

"Pretty cool place. You got somewhere for me to play my tunes?"

You shed your jacket on the couch, and smile. "Only if I get to dance with you." David ducks his head, and takes out his iPod.

"You're really going to love this, (y/n)." He scrolls through and grins as he presses play. "It doesn't sound at all like a man who's got his balls caught in a washing machine, trust me."

#marilyn manson fanfiction #reader x marilyn manson #marilyn manson x reader #marilyn manson #david dolores frank #wrong cops #wrong cop #marilyn manson imagine #marilyn manson imagines #mansonite #mansonites

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flightfoot · 5 years ago

Text

Now finally, the opportunity to reconcile and regroup. The kids have been put through some scary, traumatizing experiences in previous chapters, and they need to talk it out, to have that catharsis.

AO3/FFN

-------------------------------------

Marinette fell to the ground in a heap. She shook her head, trying to clear it.

WAIT.

SHE SHOOK HER HEAD.

SHE COULD CONTROL HERSELF AGAIN.

What had even been up with that?

She looked around. Dread pooled in her stomach.

Surrounding her were gleaming white walls with a white floor and ceiling. In front of her was a tall, ornate door.

She’d never been here before.

She didn’t know how she got here.

Last she remembered…

She and Adrien happily devoured their Sweetheart ice creams themed after each other, Alya and Nino doing the same on the other side of the picnic blanket. They still needed to keep their dating a secret, but well… there was no fooling Andre. When Marinette had asked for ice cream for herself and a friend, he beamed, gave her a wink, and handed over the two ice creams.

Considering the dark chocolate cat ears on hers, she wondered just how deep Andre’s magical powers went. Tikki and Fu had referenced there being other magical forces in the universe besides the Miraculous, but hadn’t gone into detail beyond that. Probably for the best. Between fighting akumas and fighting homework, along with her hobbies, she didn’t really have the time nor mental capacity to learn much about magic.

Thankfully, Fu had decided to primarily train Nino as a Guardian candidate, though he still filled Marinette (as well as Adrien and even Alya now) on some of the more immediate need-to-know stuff, like the capabilities of each of the Miraculous, in case one of them needed to hand them out or use them in an emergency.

She hadn’t realized what a nagging fear of being pushed into Guardianship she’d had until that weight was lifted. Especially since giving UP being Guardian, apparently often meant losing memories related to the Miraculous – even if only tangentially related. There was a way to pass on the role WITHOUT losing memories, but Fu hadn’t been told what it was before the Order was devoured.

With the Order now restored, they wanted to drop by at some point. Well… she, Adrien, Alya, and Nino did at any rate. Fu still carried a lot of guilt about what happened all those years ago. Even if the temple, monks, and Miraculous were restored, those years were gone. Everyone in the temple would have to adjust to a world nearly two hundred years ahead of what they were used to.

He said he’d still go, but he clearly felt some reservations about it. She wished she could help, but… well, beyond just being there to support him, she didn’t know what else she could do.

To carry that level of guilt for so long… she couldn’t even imagine.

At least if Fu felt like he couldn’t go at the last minute, technically he wasn’t required. While she highly doubted that Tibetan monks from the 1800s would know French, it was highly likely that at least a few of them would be fluent in Mandarin Chinese, so Adrien could translate. Or the kwamis could if need be (though they’d rather not detransform right away, so they were a definite second-place option).

She smiled warmly as she took another lick of her ice cream.

…Why did it taste like salt?

Frowning, she looked at her friends, ready to ask them if their ice creams had any weird flavors she hadn’t remembered Andre mentioning.

But they weren’t looking at her, or even each other.

But instead overhead and a bit behind her.

She just had time to turn around before the sparkling white particles enveloped the four of them.

Ok, so that was weird.

Maybe it was an akuma or some of that other magic Tikki’d alluded to.

Wait, Tikki!

Her hands flew to her ears.

THE EARRINGS WERE GONE.

Oh CRAP.

She really hoped this was a non-akuma. If Hawkmoth got her and Chat’s Miraculous…

*THUNK* *THUNK* *THUNK*

Marinette whipped around.

Adrien, Alya, and Nino were on the ground, looking like they’d arrived much the way she had.

Alya fidgeted, then collapsed into tears, scooting away from everyone else looking terrified.

Adrien seemed to be in slightly better shape… but only slightly. A look of fear passed over his face when he saw Marinette but it was quickly quelled, though she could still see a spark of nervousness in his eyes. He didn’t seem to have any negative reaction to Nino and Alya at least.

As for Nino, he appeared to be in the best shape. He looked calculating, frowning at everyone and ready to move at a moment’s notice, but he didn’t seem like he’d collapse at the slightest provocation.

What had HAPPENED to her friends?

“Alya?” she called. Alya seemed to be in the worst state, so best to start with her first.

“St-stay away!” Alya scooted back, shaking her head. “I don’t know when that- that THING will take over me again! I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to hurt anyone, so wh-why, why-!?”

Her voice trailed off into muffled sobs as she curled into a ball.

Hesitantly, she crawled over to her. Nino and Adrien watched her suspiciously, as if afraid Marinette would attack her.

As they took in her expression, the looks softened.

“You’re the real Marinette, aren’t you? Not- not an evil doppelganger?“ Adrien asked hopefully.

Evil doppelganger?

Had they been trapped the way she’d been?

“It’s really me,” she confirmed, inching closer to Alya. Alya looked up briefly, but didn’t flinch away. “What happened to everyone?”

Haltingly they took turns telling their stories. Alya went last, pausing several times while telling it, her voice devolving into sobs. Not that Adrien or Marinette had managed to get through their stories without needing to take a minute.

Only Nino’d been able to get through his without pause, likely because he hadn’t experienced the same sort of thing the others had. He seemed less traumatized, and more mad.

Alya had calmed down slightly since they’d started. Whatever the thing that’d made each of them be horrible was (well, aside from Nino apparently), it seemed to have left them for the moment.

Which meant it was probably time to bring up MORE bad news.

“…You guys don’t happen to be hiding your Miraculous, do you?”

Or Nino could bring it up. Come to think of it, he HAD glanced at his wrists a few times…

Terror flashed through Adrien’s and Alya’s eyes as they frantically checked their Miraculous’s usual resting spots, coming up empty.

“He’s- he’s gone,” Adrien murmured, staring off into the distance.

“Trixx too!” Alya cried, starting to hyperventilate. Marinette didn’t blame her. She’d only kept it together this long by slipping into ‘crisis mode’, and with how much more intense Alya’s nightmare was over everyone else’s (though she had a feeling Adrien may have been downplaying his own nightmare), she was surprised she was as focused and alert as she was.

She herself had to keep shoving Tikki out of her mind – something she hated doing, but she’d be no good to Tikki if she was collapsed on the ground having a panic attack, nor any good to the others. She had to remain strong.

“Ok so, I know this looks bad. We’re stuck in a blank white room placed by a mysterious force that can hijack our bodies, with no clue how long we’ve been here, how long we’re GOING to be here, where we are, how to get out, how to get food and water so we don’t DIE, where our kwamis are, whether whatever took them has put them in a nightmare of their own or rewritten reality or is destroying the world and our family and friends and we can’t do anything about it and maybe they’re already gone and-! ”

Pressure enveloped her on all sides.

Oh.

Maybe she wasn’t quite as together and calm as she thought.

But… maybe she didn’t need to be.

“We’re here,” Adrien told her, arm wrapped around her. “Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out together.”

“I’ve got you, girl,” Alya said

They all pressed up against her – though she noticed that Alya kept her arms mostly behind the two boys, squishing them all together in a group hug but keeping herself from being in a position where her hands could easily reach her.

She really, REALLY wanted to punch who or whatever force made Alya afraid that her own BODY would rebel against her and make her hurt her. She had a feeling that Alya wouldn’t be able to force herself to do so, considering the violence she’d been forced into committing – but she herself had no such qualms. Though Nino might beat her to the punch.

“The four of us are a team, dude. We’re not going to let some messed-up fake worlds stop us.”

She was so very glad Nino hadn’t had to go through the same things they had – what he went through was bad, but less outright traumatizing, and they NEEDED someone who was slightly more emotionally stable right now. Slightly.

The four of them just hugged for a moment, feeling the confirmation that yes, they were all here, they were all alive.

But after a few minutes they needed to, regrettably, break apart slightly and talk more about what’d just happened – though they didn’t separate completely, and continued to sit cuddled up against each other.

“Maybe if we look more deeply into what happened in our nightmare worlds we can figure out what’s going on?” Marinette suggested. “Plus… well, probably best to talk it out some more. I don’t think we’ll be able to distract ourselves from them – not with still being trapped in whatever-this-is – so best to deal with it now, before we have to move on.”

The others nodded, glancing quickly at the looming door before looking away.

Alya fidgeted, shuddering slightly. “The- the level of violence and hatred running through that… that mind prison I was trapped in, in mine… I just… it was so toxic and foreign and I was just along for the ride and couldn’t stop and… and…!”

She made choking noises, unable to force more words out.

Marinette cuddled closer to Alya, Adrien and Nino joining her, giving silent encouragement.

A moment later, Alya’d calmed down enough to continue. “I- I felt how much I HATED you, Marinette. How much I just wanted to hurt you. I know it wasn’t me, wasn’t my emotions, but I still… they were still running through my brain, I still felt them, even though they didn’t belong to me. And I still felt that Marinette’s struggling and saw her terror. When I close my eyes I still see her looking back at me, and I’m terrified that at any moment, that thing will return, and you’ll look at me the same way.”

Marinette took Alya’s hand, looking her intensely in the eyes. They were red and shiny with tears. “If that thing returns… Alya, I’d NEVER look at you that way. Because I KNOW you. I KNOW you’d never do that. I’d never for a second think you were acting of your own free will. I’d work to free you, same as when you were akumatized.”

She took a deep, shuddering breath. “And… and I do have an idea at least of how you feel, even if mine wasn’t as bad. How it feels to have some other toxic thoughts running through your head that don’t belong to you, to say things you’d never say. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT. It wasn’t you, and what happened, what thoughts ran through your head, what whatever that was used your body to do – it says NOTHING about you as a person.”

Alya gave her a small smile, sniffling a little. “Th-thanks, girl. I needed that.”

Looking at Adrien’s shiny eyes and noticing the wetness around her own, Alya wasn’t the only one who needed to hear that.

She just hoped none of them had to go through that again. Thinking of how badly Alya got it, and the versions of herself that Adrien and Nino met… it could’ve been MUCH worse. If she’d been transported into that version Nino met especially… well she doubted she’d be in much better condition than Alya was now. Nino hadn’t quite been able to force himself to repeat everything that Not-Marinette had said, but the highlights he gave? Especially of what that… that entity had thought about Adrien, had wanted to happen to Adrien?

If she’d been in THAT being, she’d probably have thrown up as soon as she regained control of her own body.

They didn’t know what would happen when they went through that giant door, tried to go somewhere else. Heck, for all any of them knew, they could be thrown back into those nightmares at any minute.

…Okay maybe time to think of something else. Think and talk about something she could actually control.

“I- I wanted to talk about some things. Some things that nightmare world confronted me with. Made me realize.”

She took a moment to gather her thoughts. The nightmare in her world may have twisted both her and Adrien… but it may have had some points as well.

Locking eyes with Adrien, she continued, trying to keep her voice calm and clear. “In my nightmare world, that Adrien was horrified at how I’d assembled a schedule of his week, down to the minute without his knowledge or consent, and how I’d stolen his phone that one time and… well, I just… I needed to get that out there. Needed to let you know that I did do that. And I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have, I… I just really wanted to know where you were and what you were doing, know everything I could find out about you that I was still too nervous to ask you, and then I called you and fumbled it and called you ‘hot stuff’ and I had to get it and delete the message before you heard it and I… I panicked and used the schedule to figure out when I could steal your phone so I could delete it. When Alya was talking about me stealing phones awhile ago, when we found out each other’s secret identities? That’s one of the cases she was talking about.”

Adrien blinked. “Oh. So THAT’S why that went missing. Wait that means-“

He turned his head to look at Nino. “I was totally right, it WASN’T in my bag, I knew I wasn’t just tired! Ha!”

Turning back, he gave Marinette a fond look. She melted a little. Even after being together for a little while now, just seeing the looks he gave her turned her to mush. “Sorry about that. Nino teased me for WEEKS about how easily I lose things after that incident.

Anyway; seriously Marinette, it’s fine. I don’t mind. I would’ve just deleted it if you’d asked, but I’m not mad at you for any of that. I don’t think that’d even be possible. And I’m not sure what the problem with the schedule is?”

He didn’t see the-? Looking at his slightly tilted head and his curious expression, he genuinely didn’t seem to understand.

…Come to think of it, he was a celebrity, and it’s not like he’d ever had anything like “privacy” or “consent” taken into account so long as they conflicted with his father’s desires at all, and regular citizens often didn’t either. Being forced to wear a Chat costume for Clara’s music video, along with everything that went down when half the city chased him around after that one ad was released, showed that well enough.

Not too shocking that he didn’t see any issue with her having assembled his schedule then, or not being at all upset for her stealing his phone.

While she was glad he wasn’t angry with her, she REALLY wanted to teach him more about things like ‘boundaries’ and ‘privacy’. He was worryingly lax about such things, and she was pretty sure it was because he’d never been taught they were things he was allowed to have.

She might not be able to stop his boundaries from being violated (she’d seen how uncomfortable he looked in that selfie Wayhem took with him when they first met) or from other people invading his privacy, but she could at least make sure that she herself wasn’t one of those people.

And… maybe let him know why the schedule was slightly iffy. Give him an idea of what to look out for.

“I didn’t ask you before gathering the info for it. I didn’t have to really look for it, I just overheard what you told Nino about your schedule and tracked your comings and goings, I didn’t break into anything or follow you, to be clear, but… the reasons I had for making the schedule weren’t necessarily the greatest? Like if I’d’ve been keeping track of it so I could better coordinate with you for something or to throw you a surprise party, that would’ve been one thing, but… I used it for stealing your phone for selfish purposes instead. And even before that, I just kinda wanted to know where you were, which… yeah without letting you know about it was something I probably shouldn’t’ve done. My nightmare world may have had a point on that.

I abused that knowledge of your life in order to do something you didn’t know about and I knew you wouldn’t have approved of. I’m glad you’re not upset but… if someone does that, you know you’re allowed to be, right? Like, you might get in trouble with your father if you express it towards him, but you’re allowed to feel that feeling. And if someone tells you that you’re not allowed to have privacy, that they have every right to snoop around your life without your knowledge, especially to do something that ends up hurting you or the people you care about… you might not be able to do much about it if Gabriel’s involved, but… it’s wrong. And I shouldn’t have been one of the people doing it in the first place.”

He looked at her thoughtfully. “I still don’t totally get it, but… thanks. I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

His mouth quirked downward, and he grimaced. “About boundaries though… I was wondering about that? One of the things that I was forced to do, forced to think was about how we belonged together, and keeping on saying so after Ladybug had already said ‘no’, and… wanting it as some sort of power thing! And I know I’d never do what that thing made me do and think, as far as pressing when you’re uncomfortable and scared, wanting to control and dominate you, but… I have sometimes said some stuff like what that thing made me say. What it said. Like talking about how we belong together, which… I’ve mostly talked about that alone, but… I just want to see whether I’ve been hurting you at all.”

Ah. Yeah, she could see that. And well, his nightmare hadn’t been completely wrong… but it wasn’t right either. “I know what it’s like to have an intense crush, kitty. How much and how fervently you want and believe that you should be together. I’m not going to begrudge your feelings. You can’t control that. And I do admire how open you can be about them! That’s something I wish I was better at.

I didn’t even realize you had a crush on me, genuinely, until that rooftop dinner you set up – I thought it was just part of this gentlecat persona you present. But… well, you have occasionally pressed when you shouldn’t have. Not very hard, but hinting about maybe us getting together one day during the interview with Nadja when I was trying to shut her down wasn’t very helpful. I can see now why it didn’t register to you that Nadja was prying though, was getting too personal. I’m guessing that wasn’t too unusual by your standards?”

Adrien nodded. “Father’s been having me do more interviews for Teen magazines lately, and they can get… well, Nadja was one of the less… intense interviewers I’ve had lately.”

Marinette winced. She’d read some of those interviews. She didn’t want to know what questions HADN’T made it to print.

“You were generally pretty good at keeping your feelings in check – and trust me, I KNOW how hard that can be – just be careful about the ways in which you show them. I’m glad you let me know you had feelings for me, but doing so more publicly like with that interview can feel like putting pressure to reciprocate. And generally speaking, saying anything that presumes that the other person will change their mind isn’t a great way to phrase things. I never felt any fear or even really uncomfortable around you, I KNOW you’d never go too far and I don’t blame you for this at all – I’m able to work through this kind of thing with my parents, and I know that until recently, you didn’t really have anyone to do that with. I just recommend talking out what to do with an adult, someone you can trust. Maybe Fu? He doesn’t have much experience in the romance department or with connecting closely to other humans though. You could always talk with my parents at least? They may be biased, but I think they’d be your best bet.

He nodded. “I will. I’ve been thinking of dropping by more anyway, if I can get away with it.”

Biting his lip, he paused, then continued. “…There was one other thing. In my nightmare world, Not-you talked about how I was useless. How I couldn’t concentrate. That I goofed around too much. How I couldn’t do my job, and that it was my fault when people got hurt.”

She did remember him talking about that earlier when he was recounting his story, come to think of it. It was remarkably similar to her own nightmare world, actually, except that the versions of herself and Chat in Adrien’s nightmare were a lot harsher and more sneering and were just plain more horrible all-around than in hers.

It wasn’t any truer in his world, than it had been in hers.

“Adrien. Chat. NO. You’re the best partner I could ever hope for. Sometimes you might joke when I need to concentrate, but… overall? I’m glad you have a sense of humor. That you help keep things light and fun. If I didn’t have someone to joke and laugh and just plain have fun with during akuma fights, I think I’d burn out. I spiral easily, and you help keep that from happening. Plus it’s not like I don’t joke back. Just try not to joke too much while I’m concentrating hard on figuring out what to do, I just don’t have the bandwidth to devote to it right then.

The other thing though? It is NOT your fault if people get hurt! Remember what I told Hawkmoth back when he was trying to blame us for the damage his akuma did? ‘Don’t reverse the roles here’. It’s HIS fault, NOT YOURS. He’s the one who sets it all up, who tries to hurt people. Don’t let someone try and deflect the blame back onto you. HE’S the real bad guy here.

And if I ever made you feel useless… I’m sorry. I would NEVER mean that. I couldn’t do this without you. Or at least… I wouldn’t want to. And I’ll tell you that as often as you need it, until you believe it.”

He gave her a small smile. “Thanks.”

The four of them sat in silence a minute as it grew increasingly uncomfortable.

“…Does anyone else have anything they need to talk through? To get off their chests?” Marinette asked hopefully.

The others just stared back at her.

Crap.

If there was nothing left to talk about, to settle…

She took a deep breath. “…I guess it’s time to see what’s on the other side of that door.”

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(A/N) These kids love and care about each other. And realistically? YES, they sometimes have issues. YES, they sometimes do things wrong. But they're not malicious about it, and they'd talk it out. Nothing any of them have actually done is worth destroying them over.

I figure that Alya would be the worst affected by the salt towards her. Not only is it extreme, but that kind of trauma isn't something she's used to dealing with.

Considering Adrien's reactions to his father's abuse and the trauma of the time loops in Desperada, with how he at least attempts to shrug them off and generally doesn't show a ton of outward signs of how bad things are, I think that most of the trauma from the way he's salted would just get tossed on the trauma pile with everything else he's endured. It'd be bad, but he wouldn't SHOW how bad.

Plus I pulled back on the extremeness of Adrien salt. The worst of that particular variety of salt tends to have him attempt to or succeed in sexually assaulting Marinette, and that is NOT something I'm gonna cover in detail. Just no. Chapter two's rendition of that salt is as much as I'm gonna cover on that aspect of salt towards him.

#Divergent Points #Miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #ml fandom salt #fandom salt #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 6 years ago

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Episode 114: Steven’s Dream

“But you don’t deserve that, do you?”

The dream is simple. We fade in to three flowers blowing in the wind. When Steven falls asleep again, we add a broken pink palanquin, and a trill of the signature Diamond music, but that’s it. None of the disorienting mix of the sleeping and waking worlds of Lion 3, none of the nightmares of Chille Tid, none of the lucid mastery of Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service, just a few calm moments before waking up in tears. But of all the episodes about our slumbering hero, this is the one that’s called Steven’s Dream.

To me, the initial sensation was similar to nearing the end of Order of the Phoenix and, after hearing Voldemort’s view of Dumbledore many times over the course of the series, seeing that the next chapter was called The Only One He Ever Feared. This episode uses our knowledge of the past to set the bar high from the title alone, but unlike the Harry Potter chapter, it pulls the rug out from under us by making the dream the catalyst instead of the subject.

In the same way Mirror Gem spends its entire ominous runtime preparing us to meet Lapis Lazuli, Steven’s Dream is an eleven minute introduction to Blue Diamond. Both episodes develop a sense of foreboding with little hint of what’s to come, both give us a little bit of fun to lull us into a sense of ease before jolting us back into the mystery, both pit the Crystal Gems as opponents of sorts to Steven, and both have that wonderful pacing where the third act takes up half the episode so we have room to breathe. Mirror Gem has the advantage of blindsiding us with our first new Gem (and has a slower, eerier burn), but Steven’s Dream uses characters with eighty-six extra episodes of development to sell a mystery that our hero is actively trying to solve.

The most obvious way Steven’s Dream builds dread are the tears. It’s a device that works again and again and again on this show, especially when Steven is the one affected: his face is rarely sad when they come, and they’re huge without devolving into silly water spurts, so despite the empathy tears might otherwise bring, it’s instead an unsettling omen of danger, like the crocodile’s clock. Combined with the brevity of the first dream, the stark opening of the episode thrusts us into the emotional space that fills the next arc.

But we also get Pearl and Garnet providing more explicit concern. Pearl tries changing the subject, but when push comes to shove she covers her mouth for the second time since we were first told that Rose shattered Pink. While this and other acts of self-censorship become clearer after A Single Pale Rose, at this point we still know it’s in character for her to be uncomfortable about certain elements of the war; even going back to Ocean Gem, she’s hesitant to reveal that not all Gems were “good.”

More surprising is Garnet, to the point where Steven mentions how unusual it is for her to so openly obfuscate. She has her mysterious streak, sure, but she’s been blunt and honest for a while now, and was the Crystal Gem who confirmed the story of Pink Diamond. Estelle gets a terrific showcase here, giving full weight to Garnet’s fear while providing levity as she gets frustrated for making the secret sound more enticing.

This is my favorite kind of hint: the one you could feasibly suss the truth out of if you pause the episode and think about it, but is clear as day in retrospect. We’ve seen Garnet freeze in Keeping It Together, and we’ve seen her afraid in the lead-up to The Return, and both incidents involve Homeworld. The “her” in question could be Yellow Diamond, but The Answer showed us Garnet’s relationship with Blue Diamond. It just doesn’t click until we see the blue palanquin, and Garnet’s explanation after Greg’s abduction makes her resignation to fate all the sadder on rewatch.

(The movie where cows are abducted is a clearer hint in a show that’s all about foreshadowing through television screens, but I still didn’t see Blue Diamond coming.)

Amethyst, who was born long after the war and has little to contribute besides a joke and a great reaction shot, sorta sides with Steven at first, but soon falls into the background to enjoy the show. That’s three for three in terms of Gems not helping Steven find the truth, and for the first time since the revelation, he finally gets mad at them. I appreciate so much that it’s not played as a childish temper tantrum but an airing of legitimate grievances: he was already lied to by omission for ages, which he managed to forgive the Gems for, but past deception makes this new secret too much to handle. As Amethyst says, he deserves to know the truth he’s asking for, but he doesn’t get it. The irony is that another character deserves something he doesn’t ask for, but he gets it anyway.

In the words of Blue Diamond herself, Greg Universe should not be doomed on a dying world. True, the world isn’t actually dying, but given the information available, her judgment was sound. And part of the reason why is that, in stark contrast to the three Gems, the three named human characters we see in the episodes are helpers. Connie brings Buddy’s journal and is nothing but encouraging, and while the Universes could’ve afforded a plane ticket, Uncle Andy is the one who flies them to Korea. When the truth hits too close to home for the Gems, humans step up to the plate, and it’s such a powerful way to showcase the value of Steven’s mixed heritage.

But the more general reason Greg deserves to live is that he’s the best of us. Steven talks to him about Pink Diamond before we even get to the Gems, and to me it evokes that pivotal moment where it’s Greg, the human side of Steven’s family, who reveals that the Gems were invaders in The Return. In both conversations, Greg drives home that the past was a long time ago, and that he didn’t judge Rose or push her to talk about things she was uncomfortable with. It might not be helpful for Steven’s fact-finding hunt, but it shows that Greg’s priorities were straight and he values caring about others more than anything.

(I do wonder, though. Greg says here that Rose seemed to want to confess everything, but he said it didn’t matter. I guess we’ll never know just how much of the truth she was willing to confess.)

And of course, Greg is the one who accompanies Steven to Korea. This is a story that wouldn’t work without his wealth explaining their ability to take a tour, but goofy asides about watches aside, what’s more important is that Greg sticks up for his son and encourages his curiosity, even when it’s scary (and yeah, seeing an animator drawing you is probably pretty scary). He’s nervous about closing in on the secret, but trusts Steven enough to follow through. And it all leads to Greg meeting his sister-in-law.

The hints of our interloper’s identity grow more obvious as we close in; the “Please” sign in Pearl’s script shows us we’re close to something, but the blue palanquin raises more specific warning bells before we finally hear a new voice.

Lisa Hannigan is not like Susan Egan, Patti LuPone, or Christine Ebersole. For starters, she’s the only Diamond voice without an American accent. But something less noticeable from the episode alone is that she’s the only Diamond voice who hasn’t been on Broadway; Hannigan isn’t an actress of stage or screen, but a singer through and through, with just one voice acting role prior to Steven Universe (in the excellent Song of the Sea). This is is a different type of performer, but Blue is a different kind of Diamond: where her sisters each adapted in their own way in the aftermath of Rose’s rebellion, Blue never found a defense mechanism to distract herself, so she’s consumed at all times by grief.

Comparing Hannigan to LuPone in particular is inevitable, as they’re the first two Diamonds we meet (at least the first two that we know are Diamonds) and they’re such a stark contrast. Hannigan’s otherworldly voice, capable of soothing sorrow and icy rage, is a radical departure from LuPone’s sheer power. It’s something that becomes even clearer when they share the same screen, but for now, Blue’s melancholy sets her apart not only from Yellow but from Garnet’s depiction of the cruel overlord we saw in The Answer. We know at this point that the Diamonds have done horrible things, but Blue Diamond humanizes them in a way Yellow Diamond has only hinted at.

Greg and Blue’s exchange is a somber, touching, chilling affair. While there’s a certain level of comfort humans in this universe have with weird alien stuff compared to how we might act, Greg is especially tuned to be casual in this scenario; he may address this giant woman as “your highness,” but he’s otherwise speaking as a peer. As in Mr. Greg, we get a rare moment of him mourning Rose aloud, in a way that shows how often he really is thinking of her. But as we saw in Three Gems and a Baby, he’s able to work through it by pouring that love into Steven, and the person Blue Diamond was most likely to pour love into is the one she lost.

As the eerie Diamond harmonette drones, we see more and more of Blue beyond her hunched form. First her arm raises, then she straightens her back, then we see the bottom of her face, before she finally turns to face Greg (and us); each stage is brought about by conversation with Greg, and her wonder at his ability to relate with her. While the talk seems to be going well, the music erupts as Blue snatches Greg, rises to her full, terrifying height, and reveals her ship: not a hand, but an entire arm.

Even as she’s humanized, we see glimpses of the tyrant Garnet told us of, and that we’ll see more of in the future. Her soft bewilderment comes from a place of superiority, and she treats Greg as an animal to be saved even as he protests. She does care, but through the lens of absolute authority over her pearl and lesser races. It comes across as tolerance rather than true empathy, and that exact sort of cold half-affection was a major factor in Pink’s resentment of her older sisters.

And poor Steven, who tried to stop Greg from even approaching the situation, can’t do a thing to stop his only remaining parent from being taken. His floating is powered by happy feelings, and there just aren’t enough of those to reach a rocketing spaceship. Garnet’s rescue may seem convenient, but her frantic apology and explanation absolves her in my mind: on top of being scared out of her wits, she was trying to prevent a future where everyone got taken.

The cliffhanger is more of a call to action than a cut to black, and the episode does “resolve” in its own way: we wanted to know what Steven was dreaming about, and we certainly found out. The tragedy is that Steven was right to be curious, and Greg was right to be kind, and both are punished for it. Greg is mature enough to not assign blame for his abduction, but this is rocket fuel for Steven’s ever-growing martyr complex. One day Steven will be happy again, but he’s never quite the same after this nightmare of an encounter.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

I compared this episode to Mirror Gem, which is my favorite lore episode of the series. While Steven’s Dream doesn’t rank quite as high due to the glut of other terrific episodes, it still squeezes into my top twenty for now.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

6. Horror Club 5. Fusion Cuisine 4. House Guest 3. Onion Gang 2. Sadie’s Song 1. Island Adventure

#steven's dream #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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silentasasongbird · 7 years ago

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This is a very, VERY long post about my struggle with mental illness.

I’ve always tried to be fairly open about things that have happened in my past, because I feel like now, that I’m older, if I’m open about my experiences, then maybe someone else out there that’s had similar things happen won’t feel so lonely. However; I’ve been debating with myself for this whole month whether or not I should discuss things in complete open honesty, and I finally convinced myself to do it. SO I’m gonna take it way, way back, and go through some experiences, stories, tips, etc. TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, SELF-HARM, SUICIDE, and probably other stuff that I’m missing. I will also edit ALL names in this, to keep privacy for those who may not deserve it, but earn the right regardless.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve ALWAYS experienced life through extremes. I was a very adventurous child, with my joy being so exuberant, my temper so short-fused, my sadness so explosive. But I never, ever realized that it wasn’t how everyone was supposed to feel. Even as a kid, my little crushes on people were so extreme and my rejection so devastating. I was bullied as a kid, too, often times making friends with kind of the odder (but ultimately better, and kinder) classmates. I wasn’t HORRIBLY teased. I wasn’t ever beat up, I wasn’t thrown in trash cans, just enough that every day school was a source of anxiety. I lived on a boat for about three to four years in elementary school, and it was during that time that I was beginning to know what like.. crushes and feelings of that nature were, and I was about 11/12. There was a neighborhood kid, Steven, who was best friends with my older brother. My brother has about four years on me, his friend maybe six? This person was someone who helped babysit me, helped watch over me while my parents worked. I was about 11, he was 16 or 17. He was my first kiss, before I even really fully understood what kissing was. He often touched me in ways that I didn’t KNOW were wrong until later, when I’d do them with a lover. Every single time it felt scary, it felt not okay, but he was like a brother to me, and I figured it was fine. So that was my catapult into the realm of adulthood, which launched me into middle school.

Middle school for just about everyone is a weird, confusing experience. It was probably a little more confusing for me because I learned that not everyone lives in extremes, and not everyone also loves and crushes on everyone equally. I realized that there was a name for how I felt about people, and it was “bisexual” (Later, after becoming more educated, I learned that I actually identify as pansexual, but life was pretty narrow then.). My body was also changing, as it does for everyone at that age, and with it, my mental health took a serious, immediate drop. I was internally a minefield, just waiting for the moment that my brain and body would completely fall apart. A friend had showed me what cutting was, and I immediately took to that, burning and cutting my body, a thing that stood with me for at least 10 years after that. (I’ve been self harm free for about a year, and I’m 24.) I devolved an eating disorder, and lived with anorexia for years, and I still to this day struggle with it. I fell in love with people often, and when those feelings weren’t returned, or things ended, I lashed out, mainly at myself. And this WHOLE TIME I thought these things were normal. That everyone goes through them, I was just an angsty teen, and I’d get over it. I felt ashamed that everyone else was handling things fine, that everyone else felt the exact same way, and how weak was I to not be able to manage it? I was also a compulsive liar, often fabricating extreme stories to make myself more interesting, because I was so terrified that everyone was going to realize what a wreck I was if they knew what my day to day life really was. The only thing that got me through it was writing songs and poems. I loved music, and loved reading and writing (still do), so it was an excellent outlet for me. The things I wrote were often dark, and graphic, but they kept me alive. One day, a teacher found one of my darker poems about sexual assault, and police got involved. My parents and I both agreed that I should be transferred to a better school.

When I started highschool, things were very normal for highschool standards. I had been learning how to hide my cuts, how to better hide my emotions, but I wasn’t perfect. I fought with my friends, and I was often terrified of being in a new place without any friends at all. I was overjoyed at any attention I’d get from boys, often falling for those who weren’t the best for me. My first serious boyfriend, Mark, was a guy I dated in 11th grade. I was horribly abused, daily, by this person. Primarily emotionally, and mentally, but he would also throw chairs at me, scream in my face, and pull my hair. Living life as his girlfriend was a never ending nightmare, with me experiencing anxiety so strong, that every. single. day. I would throw up, sometimes multiple times a day. Some girls in my drama troupe thought I was bulimic, but I was so terrified of my self and him that I was physically ill. I’m 5′, and I dropped to a weight under 100. I couldn’t keep anything I ate down, and my hair started falling out. My teachers allowed me to sleep through my classes, or put my head down and silently cry, because they would hear Mark screaming at me outside of classes. Half of my drama troupe put me through hell, insulting me as a cry baby, as a “drama queen” because I was barely holding onto myself. He took my virginity, after I told him repeatedly that I didn’t want to have sex yet, and after vomiting for half an hour, while I lay on the ground sobbing. He absolutely convinced every part of me that that was what love was, and that was who I was going to marry. He would go out most nights, late into the night, to sleep with other women, while telling me I was crazy and making things up. He realized that he could use my mental illness against me, and he did at every chance he got. I often only got two or three hours a night of sleep, as he wouldn’t let me go to bed until he said I could, and would often fall asleep before allowing me to.

I was in hell, for about seven months, and a lot of this stayed with me even to today.

I eventually met someone new, and was semi-happy, not understanding that just because someone is kind to you, doesn’t mean you have to love them. I moved away for college, with my mental health declining more and more with every day. I was unable to attend classes, often laying in bed for days at a time, with my at-the-time fiance coming home, finding me just laying in a bathtub, completely clothed with cold water on for no reason. I wouldn’t leave the house, wouldn’t let him have friends out of fear of abandonment, and one day, he came home to find me hanging from a belt in the closet, just passed out. Another time, he woke up to me throwing up a handful of pills that I had only taken enough to get sick off of, not die. After this, he had one of his only friends, and one of the only people I knew and trusted in this new life of college, watch over me. They would take turns, placing me on a kind of suicide watch. It was easy, as I would often just lay in bed, essentially catatonic. One day, his friend, Jason, got extraordinarily high and started kissing me. I didn’t move, didn’t react, didn’t say yes or no, just laid on my side, like a corpse. And he fucked me. I say this as vulgar as I say this, because it wasn’t kind. It wasn’t loving, it wasn’t even friendly. I was depressed, with matted hair, an un-showered body, and un-brushed teeth, and he did whatever he wanted, and I didn’t stop him. When he was done, I just for once, in probably days, got out of the house, and drove him home. My fiance came home, and I was crying, and told him what happened. The next day, when Jason came over to see us, my fiance confronted him, and Jason broke down crying, admitted what he did. I watched my fiance hug him, comfort him, and admit to him he understood, as I was such a pain in the ass to look after. A few months later, my fiance ended things, and moved away.

Almost every relationship I had in college was a mess. I was unstable, with every day becoming worse and worse. But I had a solid group of friends, for once in my life. Two friendships that had survived through middle and highschool (shoutout to Kallen and Regina, usin’ your real names here because you’re the goddamn MVP’s) and some college friends, I was, externally, managing fine. But I was sleeping with anyone who would show affection, often times sleeping with people who had partners, and I didn’t care. I just hoped that anyone would give a fuck about me. When one or two of them actually did, I was impulsive and destructive, hurting them badly by cheating and leaving them. One time when this happened, I realized what a monster I was, cut myself all over my body, and went to jump off of a bridge onto a freeway, or in front of a car. I told a friend what I was doing, and she called the police. I stayed on the phone with another amazing human, who that friend had told what I was going to do.

I was walking around the streets at 3 in the morning when the cops found me, handcuffed me, and took me to the hospital.In Florida, they can hold you for 72 hours if there is probable cause that you’re a danger to yourself or someone else. Having proof of texts on my phone and cuts on my body, I was held in a hospital unit for those full 72 hours. I was taken to a room, given a syringe of a clear liquid, and a handful of pills that TO THIS DAY I don’t know what they were. I was exhausted, and they stripped me down and took photos of my naked body, of my tattoos, cuts, eyes, anything that was recognizable, I guess, if I ran away.

I was so, so terrified every second I was there. No doctors would speak to me, and I was given medicine three times a day and never told what it was. I heard people screaming, every single night, and tried so hard not to sleep, but was forced to by whatever medicine I was given. I lied, every second I was in there, so I could get out. I was so, so good at it, with years of practice, and they believed me. I met with a doctor, finally, on the day of my release for SEVEN MINUTES. Seven minutes was the only amount of time I saw anyone other than a nurse or another patient. After seeing a cross in the doctors office, I pretended I was highly religious, and I finally saw god’s light, and how I was going to make it okay. How I only did these things for attention and he believed me. And let me go.

I was forced to take exit counseling with the university after that, where when a doctor asked me what I had been diagnosed with in the hospital, and I told her I was never told, and that I saw the doctor for seven minutes, she called me a liar, and that they had diagnosed me with major depression, and my memory was failing me. Which, is funny because to this day I remember every single second in that psych ward. I was terrified to contradict her, and I didn’t want to be forced back to the hospital. I eventually got permission to see another therapist, who I saw for two months, and genuinely taught me a few good coping mechanisms. After being put on several different medications, and seeing different therapists and psychiatrists, I got the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Finally, after years of questions and no answers, and suffering SO MUCH, there was a name. I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t losing my mind. I could make it through. If other people live through worse than me, I was fucking going to live.I started going to class. I worked full time, and went to school full time.

When I got into an abusive relationship, he gave me a black eye after three days of dating, I left. It was exhausting, it was painful, but I did it. I was healing, and I was coping. I was living day to day, yes, and I was still relapsing, but I wanted to get better.

One day, my best friend became my boyfriend. We moved out of the shitty town that had shitty memories on every street, and we moved across the country to Ohio. We got engaged, I was getting better every day. We got married, I was getting better every day. We lived at the Grand Canyon, I was getting better every day. We just three weeks ago moved to California, and I’m still getting better every day. I still relapse. I still wake up in the middle of the night from the bad dreams. But when that happens, it feels like I’m just swimming underwater, not being held down and drowning.

I’ve still had suicidal thoughts. I still have to deal with jumps from extreme joy to extreme anger. Julian and I have codes for my days, moods associated with colors, and he’s patient. And I’m patient with myself. I try to be kind to myself, and I try to just still live day to day, but I have a future that I see and I want to get to. I paint, I sing, I write songs. I cut hair, I color hair, I take photographs. I do anything to help me get through the bad times, but I do them.

This is mental illness awareness month, and I’m here to say that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I’m managing. And I can’t wait to see what tomorrow is going to bring, every single day.

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aion-rsa · 5 years ago

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Best Horror Movies Streaming on HBO Max

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Editor’s Note: This post is updated monthly. Bookmark this page and come back every month to see the new horror movies on HBO Max.

Updated for October 2020

What ever would we do without horror?

So much of our daily life is built around logic and known, verifiable facts, and for some, the rest of the time must be supplemented with comforting reassurances that everything is going to be alright. Well if the last year has taught us anything… that’s not the case. Perhaps this is why horror hounds know the best way to face abstract fears is to confront them head on… and preferably with a screen in the way.

So, with Halloween around the corner, we figured it’s time to get in touch with our illogical, terrified animal brain. That’s where horror and horror movies in particular come in. Gathered here are the best horror movies on HBO Max for your scaring needs.

Alien

“In space, no one can hear you scream,” the tagline for Ridley Scott’s 1979 sci-fi/horror epic promised. Well maybe they should have screened this thing in space because I’m sure all that audiences in theaters did was scream.

Alien has since evolved into a heady, science fiction franchise that has stretched out for decades. The original film, however, is a small-scale, terrifyingly claustrophobic thriller.

Altered States

What if you could tap into the vast swaths of the brain you never use? What if you did and didn’t like what we found? And what if it was an absolute psychedelic rush of a cinematic experience?

All three questions are answered in their own way during Ken Russell’s Altered States, a wild sci-fi thriller. In the film, William Hurt stars as a psychologist who begins experimenting with taking hallucinatory drugs while in a sensory depravation tank.

Yes, he manages to expand his consciousness; he also begins to expand his physical body as it transforms beneath his skin. Or does it? Well that’s yet another good question…

An American Werewolf in London

Arguably the definitive werewolf movie, John Landis’ 1981 horror masterpiece has the single greatest on-screen lycanthropic transformation in movie history… and that’s only one of its appeals.

Peppered with loving references to the werewolf movies that came before it and a few legitimate laughs to go along with the scares, An American Werewolf in London is remarkably knowing and self-aware, without ever flirting with parody.

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An American Werewolf in London Is Still the Best Horror Reimagining

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13 Must-See Werewolf Movies

By Mike Cecchini

Not enough can be said about Rick Baker’s practical effects, which extend beyond the aforementioned on-screen transformation and into one of the most gruesome depictions of a werewolf attack aftermath you’re ever likely to see. A classic of the era, it still can get under the skin whenever Griffin Dunne’s mutilated corpse rises from the grave to warn his friend to “beware the moon.”

The Brood

I bet you never thought placenta could look so tasty, but when Samantha Eggar’s Nola Carveth licks her newborn clean you’ll be craving seconds within the hour. She brings feline intuition to female troubles. We get it. Having a new baby can be scary. Having a brood is terrifying. Feminine power is the most horrifying of all for male directors used to being in control.

David Cronenberg takes couples therapy one step too far in his 1979 psychological body-horror film, The Brood. When it came out critics called it reprehensible trash, but it is the writer-director’s most traditional horror story. Oliver Reed plays with mental illness like Bill Sikes played with the kids as Hal Raglan, the psychotherapist treating the ex-wife of Frank Carveth (Art Hindle). The film starts slow, unfolding its drama through cuts and bruises.

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Best Horror Movies on Netflix: Scariest Films to Stream

By David Crow and 2 others

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Katharine Isabelle on How Ginger Snaps Explored the Horror of Womanhood

By Rosie Fletcher

Cronenberg unintentionally modifies the body of the Kramer vs. Kramer story in The Brood, but the murderous munchkins at the external womb of the film want a little more than undercooked French toast.

Carnival of Souls

Carnival of Souls may be the most unlikely of chillers to appear in the Criterion Collection. Hailing from the great state of Kansas and helmed by commercial director Herk Harvey, who was looking for his big break in features, there is something hand-crafted about the whole affair. There’s also something unmistakably eerie.

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By Joshua Winning

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The story is fairly basic campfire boilerplate, following a woman (Candace Hilligoss) who survives a car crash but is then haunted by the sound of music and visions of the ghoulish dead–beckoning her toward a decrepit carnival abandoned some years earlier–and the acting can leave something to be desired. But the dreadful dreamlike atmosphere is irresistible.

With a strong sense of fatalism and inescapable doom, the film takes an almost melodic and disinterested gait as it stalks its heroine to her inevitable end, presenting images of the walking dead that linger in the mind long after the credits roll.

The Curse of Frankenstein

Hammer is probably best remembered now for its series of Christopher Lee-starring Dracula movies. Yet its oddball Frankenstein franchise deserves recognition too. While Hammer’s efforts certainly pale in comparison to the Frankenstein movies produced by Universal Pictures in the 1930s and ’40s, the Hammer ones remain distinctly unique. Whereas the Creature was the star of the earlier films, so much so the studio kept changing the actor beneath the Jack Pierce makeup after Boris Karloff got fed up three movies in, the not-so-good doctor leads the Hammer alternatives.

Movies

The Conjuring Timeline Explained: From The Nun to Annabelle Comes Home

By Daniel Kurland

Books

Frankenstein Adaptations Are Almost Never Frankenstein Adaptations

By Kayti Burt

Indeed, between bouts of playing the almost sickeningly pious Abraham Van Helsing, Peter Cushing portrayed a perverse and dastardly Victor Frankenstein at Hammer, and it all begins with The Curse of Frankenstein. It isn’t necessarily the best movie in the series, but it introduces us to Cushing’s cruel scientist, played here as less mad than malevolent.

It also features Christopher Lee in wonderfully grotesque monster makeup. This is the film where Hammer began forming an identity that would become infamous in the realm of horror.

The Conjuring 2

Making an effective, truly spooky mainstream horror film is hard enough. But The Conjuring franchise really nailed things out of the gate with a sequel that is every bit as fun and terrifying as the original.

Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga return as paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren in The Conjuring 2. This time the Warrens head to Great Britain to attend to the Hodgson family, dealing with some poltergeist problems in their Enfield home. The source of the Enfield haunting’s activity contains some of the most disturbing and terrifying visuals in the entire Conjuring franchise and helped to set up a (sadly pretty bad) spinoff sequel in The Nun.

Doctor Sleep

Let’s be up front about this: Doctor Sleep is not The Shining. For some that fact will make this sequel’s existence unforgivable. Yet there is a stoic beauty and creepy despair just waiting to be experienced by those willing to accept Doctor Sleep on its own terms.

Directed by one of the genre’s modern masters, Mike Flanagan, the movie had the unenviable task of combining one of King’s most disappointing texts with the opposing sensibilities of Stanley Kubrick’s singular The Shining adaptation.

Movies

Doctor Sleep Director Mike Flanagan on the Possibility of The Shining 3

By John Saavedra

Movies

Doctor Sleep: Rebecca Ferguson on Becoming the New Shining Villain

By John Saavedra

And yet, the result is an effective thriller about lifelong regrets and trauma personified by the ghostly specters of the Overlook Hotel. But they’re far from the only horrors here. Rebecca Ferguson is absolutely chilling as the smiling villain Rose the Hat, and the scene where she and other literal energy vampires descend upon young Jacob Tremblay is the stuff of nightmares. Genuinely, it’s a scene you won’t forget, for better or worse….

Dracula Has Risen from the Grave

Hammer Films’ fourth Dracula movie, and third to star the ever reluctant Christopher Lee, is by some fans’ account the most entertaining one. While it lacks the polish and ultimate respectability of Lee’s first outing as the vampire, Horror of Dracula (which you can read more about below), just as it is missing the invaluable Peter Cushing, Dracula Has Risen from the Grave arrived in 1968 at the crossroads of Hammer’s pulpy aesthetic. Their films had not yet devolved into exploitative shlock as they would a few years later, but the censors seemingly were throwing up their hands and allowing for the studio’s vampires to be meaner, bloodier, and sexier.

Movies

Taste the Blood of Dracula: A Hidden Hammer Films Gem

By Don Kaye

In this particular romp, Dracula has indeed risen from the grave (yes, again!) because of the good intentions of one German monsignor (Rupert Davies). The religious leader is in central Europe to save souls, but the local denizens of a village won’t go to a church caught in the shadow of Castle Dracula. So the priest exorcises the structure, oblivious that his sidekick is also accidentally dripping blood into the mouth of Dracula’s corpse down the river. Boom he’s back!

And yet, our fair Count can’t enter his home anymore. So for revenge, Dracula follows the monsignor to his house and lays eyes on the patriarch’s comely young niece (Veronica Carlson). You can probably figure out the rest.

Eraserhead

“In Heaven, everything is fine,” sings the Lady in the Radiator in Eraserhead. “You’ve got your good things, and I’ve got mine.”

You may get something short of paradise, but the insular world David Lynch created for his 1977 experimental existential horror film is a land of mundane wonders, commonplace mysteries, and extremely awkward dinner conversations. Lynch’s first feature film is surrealistic, expressionistic, and musically comic. The minor key score and jarring black and white images bring half-lives to the industrial backdrop and exquisite squalor. At its heart though, Eraserhead is poignant, sad, and ultimately relatable on a universal level.

Buffy: The Animated Series – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Spin-Off That Never Was

By Caroline Preece

Games

How Scorn Turned the Art of H.R. Giger into a Nightmarish Horror Game World

By John Saavedra

Jack Nance’s Henry Spencer is the spiky-haired everyman. He works hard at his job, cares deeply for his deformed, mutant child, and is desperate to please his extended family. Lynch lays a comedy of manners in a rude, crude city. The film is an assault on the senses, and it might take a little while for the viewer’s brains to adjust to the images on the screen; it is a different reality, and not an entirely inviting one, but stick with it. Once you’re in with the in-laws, you’re home free. When you make it to the end, you can tell your friends you watched all of Eraserhead. When they ask you what it’s about, you can tell them you saw it.

Eyes Without a Face

“I’ve done so much wrong to perform this miracle,” Doctor Génessier (Pierre Brasseur) confesses in the 1960 horror film Eyes Without a Face. But he says it in French, making it all so much more poignant, allowing it to underscore everything director and co-writer Georges Franju did right. We feel for the respectable plastic surgeon forced to do monstrous things. But the monster behind the title character is his young daughter Christiane (Édith Scob). She spends the majority of the film behind a mask, even more featureless than the unpainted plastic Captain Kirk kid’s costume Michael Myers wore in Halloween. The first time we see her face though, the shock wears off quickly and we are more moved than terrified.

Like Val Lewton films, the horror comes from the desolate black-and-white atmosphere, shrouding the claustrophobic suspense in German Expressionism. Maurice Jarre’s score evokes a Gothic carnival as much as a mad scientist’s laboratory. After his daughter’s face is hideously disfigured in an accident, Dr. Génessier becomes obsessed with trying to restore it. We aren’t shown much, until we’re shown too much. We see his heterograft surgical procedure in real time. A woman’s face is slowly flayed from the muscle. The graphic scenes pack more of a visceral shock after all the encroaching dread.

Godzilla

As the original and by far still the best Godzilla movie ever produced, this 1954 classic (originally titled Gojira), is one of the many great Showa Era classics that the Criterion Collection and HBO Max are making readily available to American audiences. And if you want to watch one that is actually scary, look no further.

In this original uncut Japanese form, the movie’s genuine dread of nuclear devastation, as well as nightly air raids, less than 10 years since World War II ended in several mushroom clouds, is overwhelming. Tapping into the real cultural anxiety of a nation left marred by the memory of its dead, as well as the recent incident of a fishing crew being contaminated by unannounced hydrogen bomb testing at Bikini Atoll, Godzilla encapsulates terror for the atomic age in a giant lizard.

Movies

Godzilla: First 15 Showa Era Movies Ranked

By Don Kaye

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Godzilla 1998: What Went Wrong With the Roland Emmerich Movie?

By Jim Knipfel

And unlike the sequels there is nothing cuddly or amusing about this original Kaiju with its scarred body and legion of tumors. This is the one Godzilla movie to play it straight, and it still plays today.

Horror of Dracula

Replacing Bela Lugosi as Dracula was not easily done in 1958. It’s still not easily done now. Which makes the fact that Christopher Lee turned Bram Stoker’s vampire into his own screen legend in Horror of Dracula all the more remarkable. Filmed in vivid color by director Terence Fisher, Horror of Dracula brought gushing bright red to the movie vampire, which up until then had been mostly relegated to black and white shadows.

Culture

The Bleeding Heart of Dracula

By David Crow

BBC/Netflix Dracula’s Behind-the-Scenes Set Secrets

By Louisa Mellor

With its penchant for gore and heaving bosoms, Horror of Dracula set the template for what became Hammer Film Productions’ singular brand of horror iconography, but it’s also done rather tastefully the first time out here, not least of all because of Lee bring this aggressively cold-blooded version of Stoker’s monster to life. It’s all business with this guy.

Conversely, Abraham Van Helsing was never more dashing than when played by Peter Cushing in this movie. The film turned both into genre stars, and paved the way for a career of doing this dance time and again.

The Invisible Man

After years of false starts and failed attempts at resurrecting the classic Universal Monsters, Universal Pictures finally figured out how to make it work: They called Blumhouse Productions.

Yep, Jason Blum’s home for micro-budgeted modern horror worked wonders alongside writer-director Leigh Whannell in updating the classic 1933 James Whale movie, and the H.G. Wells novel on which it is based, for the 21st century.

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How Jason Blum Changed Horror Movies

By Rosie Fletcher

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How The Invisible Man Channels the Original Tale

By Don Kaye

Turning the story of a man who masters invisibility into a horrific experience told from the vantage of the woman trying to escape his toxic violence, The Invisible Man becomes a disquieting allegory for the #MeToo era. It also is a devastating showcase for Elisabeth Moss who is compelling as Cecilia, the abused and gaslighted woman that barely found the will to escape, yet will now have to discover more strength since everyone around her shrugs off the idea of her dead ex coming back as an invisible man…

Lifeforce

Most assuredly a horror movie for a very acquired taste, there are few who would call Tobe Hooper’s career-destroying Lifeforce a good movie. There probably aren’t even many who would call it a fun movie. But for those with a singular taste for batshit pulp run amok, Lifeforce needs to be seen to be believed: Naked French vampire girls from outer space! Hordes of extras as zombies marauding through downtown London! Lush Henry Mancini music over special effects way outside of Cannon Films’ budget!!! Patrick Stewart as an authority figure possessed by said naked French space vampire, trying to seduce an astronaut via makeout sessions?!

Movies

Tobe Hooper’s Lifeforce: Space Vampires, Comets, and Nudity

By Ryan Lambie

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The Mummy and Lifeforce: The Strange Parallels

By Ryan Lambie

… What is this movie? Why does it exist? We don’t know, but we’re probably more glad it does than the people who made it.

Magic

As much a psychological case study as as a traditional horror movie, for those who like their terror rooted in humanity, Magic may be the creepiest iteration of the “killer doll” subgenre since this is about the man who thinks his dummy is alive. Starring Anthony Hopkins before he was Hannibal, or had a “Sir” in front of his name, Magic is the brain child of William Goldman, who adapted his own novel into this movie before he’d go on to do the same for The Princess Bride (as well as adapt Stephen King’s Misery), but after he’d already written Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Marathon Man.

In the film, Hopkins stars as Corky, a down on his luck ventriloquist who tries to get his life together by tracking down his high school sweetheart (Ann-Margret). She’ll soon probably wish he didn’t bother once she realizes Corky believes his ventriloquist dummy Fats really is magic… and is determined to get him to act on the most heinous of impulses.

The Most Dangerous Game

Before King Kong, Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack released The Most Dangerous Game, one of the all-time great pulp movies, based on a short story by Richard Connell. This classic has influenced everything from Predator to The Running Man, The Hunger Games to Ready or Not.

It’s the story of a big game hunter who shipwrecks on a remote island with an eccentric Russian Count who escaped the Bolshevik Revolution (Leslie Banks). The wayward noble now drinks, studies, and charms his apparently frequent array of unannounced guests, including two other survivors from a previous (suspicious) wreck. The film quickly boils down to a mad rich man determined to hunt his guests as prey across the island for the ultimate thrill.

Movies

The Most Dangerous Game That Never Ends

By David Crow

Culture

Why King Kong Can Never Escape His Past

By David Crow

Man hunting man, man lusting after woman in a queasy pre-Code fashion, this is a primal throwback to adventure yarns of the 19th century, which were still relatively recent in 1932. Shot simultaneously with King Kong, this is 63 brisk minutes of excitement, dread, and delicious overacting. Let the games begin.

Night of the Living Dead

“They’re coming to get you, Barbara!”

The zombie movie that more or less invented our modern understanding of what a zombie movie is, there is little new that can be said about George A. Romero’s original guts and brains classic, Night of the Living Dead. Shot in black and white and on almost no budget, the film reimagined zombies as a horde of ravenous flesh-eaters, as opposed to a lowly servant of the damned and enchanted.

Movies

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By Alex Carter

Games

The George Romero Resident Evil Movie You Never Saw

By David Crow

Still visually striking in black and white, perhaps the key reason to go back to the zombie movie that started it all is due to how tragically potent its central conflict from 1968 remains: When strangers are forced to join forces and barricade in a farmhouse to survive a zombie invasion, the wealthy white businessman is constantly at odds with the young Black man in the group, to the point of drawing weapons…

Ready or Not

The surprise horror joy of 2019, Ready or Not was a wicked breath of fresh air from the creative team Radio Silence. With a star-making lead turn by Samara Weaving, the movie is essentially a reworking of The Most Dangerous Game where a bride is being hunted by her groom’s entire wedding party on the night of their nuptials.

It’s a nutty premise that has a delicious (and broad) satirical subtext about the indulgences and eccentricities of the rich, as the would-be extended family of Grace (Weaving) is only pursuing her because they’re convinced a grandfather made a deal with the Devil for their wealth–and to keep it they must step on those beneath them every generation. Well step, shoot, stab, and ritualistically sacrifice in this cruelest game of hide and seek ever. Come for the gonzo high-concept and stay for the supremely satisfying ending.

Sisters

One of the scariest things about the 1972 psychological thriller Sisters is the subliminal sounds of bones creaking and muscles readjusting during the slasher scenes. Margot Kidder plays both title characters: conjoined twins, French Canadian model Danielle Breton and asylum-committed Dominique Blanchion, who had been surgically separated. Director Brian De Palma puts the movie together like a feature-long presentation of the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. The camera lingers over bodies, bloodied or pristine, mobile or prone, with fetishistic glee before instilling the crime scenes in the mind’s eye. He allows longtime Hitchcock composer Bernard Herrmann to assault the ear.

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De Palma was inspired by a photograph of Masha and Dasha Krivoshlyapova, Russian conjoined twins with seemingly polarized temperaments. There may be no deeper bond than blood, which the film has plenty of, but the real alter ego comes from splitscreen compositions and an outside intruder. The voyeuristic delight culminates in a surgical dream sequence with freaks, geeks, a giant, and dwarves. Nothing is as it seems and an out-of-order telephone is a triggering reminder.

Jordan Peele’s debut feature Get Out was a near instant horror classic so anticipation was high for his follow-up. Thanks to an excellent script, Peele’s deep appreciation of pop culture, and some stellar performances, Us mostly lived up to the hype.

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The film tells the story of the Wilson family from Santa Cruz. After a seemingly normal trip to a summer home and the beach, Adelaide (Lupita Nyong’o), Gabe (Winston Duke) and their two kids are confronted by their own doppelgangers, are weird, barely verbal, and wearing red. But then Adelaide is not terribly surprised given her own personal childhood traumas. And that’s only the beginning of the horror at play. Fittingly, Us feels like a feature length Twilight Zone concept done right.

Vampyr

A nigh silent picture, Vampyr came at a point of transition for its director Carl Th. Dreyer. The Danish filmmaker, who often worked in Germany and France at this time, was making only his second “talkie” when he mounted this vampire opus. That might be why the movie is largely absent of dialogue. The plot, which focuses on a young man journeying to a village that is under the thrall of a vampire, owes much to Bram Stoker’s Dracula as well as F.W. Murnau’s Nosferatu from some years earlier.

Yet there horror fans should seek Vampyr out, if for no other reason than the stunning visuals and cinematography. Alternating between German Expressionist influences in its use to shadows to unsettling images crafted in naturalistic light, such as a boatman carrying an ominous scythe, this a a classic of mood and atmosphere. Better still is when they combine, such as when the scythe comes back to bedevil a woman sleeping, trapping us all in her nightmare. Even if its narrative has been told better, before and after, there’s a reason this movie’s iconography lingers nearly a century later.

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kisuminight · 7 years ago

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“Why are you telling me this?”

“You asked. I promised, didn’t I?” So trusting. It would be easy to break her neck. Kind even, compared to what awaited her if his superiors found out. If her superiors found out.

“I guess you did. Bit of a surprise.” Normally people didn’t promise that sort of thing to someone like him, after all. Not a good idea to advertise you’re hiding secrets when you’re talking to a member of the Diplomatic Corps, regardless of your chosen side.

“Sorry, just, why me? From what you showed me, we weren’t exactly close.” If anything, they seemed more like friends-by-friends, if any relationship existed at all.

“No, we weren’t, not in that lifetime. But in this one I consider you a friend. And something of a symbol, too. Proof that the Empire is doing well.” So naïve, despite living through war, one worse than anyone alive yet remembered. Too generous with affection to offer kind words and an open heart to a professional traitor.

You sure I can’t flip you, he almost joked, and remembered the agony-despair-determination in her field when she’d declared that she wouldn’t watch everyone die again.

The war that Never Was, the peace that Never Would Be, and a single brave soul throwing herself back into another millennia-long war she’d already seen over and done for the slightest chance to stop both sides from devolving into eons of war crimes that left their planet and many others in ruined, dead shambles.

Even thinking about it hurt.

She curled against him, purring happiness and contentment through her field, not minding that he refused to release his own from beneath his skin. Privately, he wondered about the towers in the ancient yarns, and whether one with a sufficiently stocked lab… no, that would never work.

Slowly, he reached out and rested an arm around her shoulders. She didn’t flinch. Instead, she laid her head on his shoulder and opened up her field further than he’d thought possible. “Stop worrying. I’m fine with this.”

How? Ah, right. Incrementally, he relaxed, and bumped his own body temperature up a notch into a more soothing range. “You’re drugged. The last time I was in a situation like this, I had panic attacks whenever you moved too quickly, and they didn’t get to do more than threaten me.”

“It’s not the first time.” What. That’s— “I was originally created as a Disposable. So it’s not the first time. It’s not even the first time there’s been multiple people involved. Please don’t worry, I can keep myself together until I’m somewhere safe enough for a breakdown.” Wings stretched, unfurling with a rattle-rustle of feathers, not that he needed their subtle little movements to read the wry self-deprecatement in every contour of her unveiled face.

“And you still side with them?” Rhetorical, given the sharp knife blade of forgiveness he felt stabbed through her ribs as she’d projected a faded memory-image of her supreme leader into his head. An impressive feat, for all her claims that she couldn’t judge someone by what they never will do.

How solid must that foundation of forgiveness be, to willingly join someone whose very existence had been the nightmare against survival, whose every step on the horizon spelled the death of so many of your brothers and sisters, all thrown away in that great machine of crimson and copper and soon-lost territory?

“Under the Senate, actually.” Hazy golden eyes gleam molten and ancient in the shadows. “It stopped after I was assigned to Nyx, and never restarted while I was in his unit.” There’s a soft, well-meant lie in that tone, because the Senate took her away from Nyx, took away her thoughts and words and free will, and the Diplomatic Corps still keeps tabs on ISO’s records. He knows the monsters lurking there, for all they hide behind the mask of security forces.

He is one, after all.

And we would have ripped her apart before she could breathe a warning. Just because she was prepared to utter a warning at all. No wonder she’d chosen to abandon us (except that she hadn’t, not really. Could he condemn her for throwing away potential family for the potential that that family would live, even hating her?).

A scrape of bone on ice, and the soft shush of snow swept away. Above them, the first hints of light glimmered down through the barricade sealing them in. “My team will reach us soon.” Capture would be unavoidable.

“That’s fine.” Not that she seemed to fear it. Not even before, when she’d been clear-thinking and undrugged. Then again, if they repaid like with like, her quick work had saved the lives of several agents and allowed them to escape multiple times.

How much of that had been deliberate?

Blunt worked better than any amount of word play. “Are you letting us go to make up for a not-future debt?” Will your generosity run out and get my fellow agents killed?

“…No? I told you, I want the Commonwealth to win.” The speech had been long, detailed, and contained an interesting definition of winning, certainly. He could almost understand the logic, too, was the scary part. “Um, no. I repay stuff by doing things like designing new hands for Helico. Or offering quantum equations to Jen. At most, they’re lax because they’ve heard too many scary stories about what I can do to push you too hard and leave you in my medbay again. Still, that mostly means they’re not going to unintentionally kill you.” Because being intentionally executed was so much better.

“Chime will want to talk to you.” Chime might even be allowed to talk to her, if it led to the possibility of a defection. Perhaps even if not, given how valuable her skills and willingness to help anybody injured had proved.

“Good. I can ask for advice on how to deal with Starsong. Aside from throwing her at Windvoice, anyway….” Her voice dwindled to mumbles and fell silent, field smoothing into a heavy blanket of sleep. His hand drifted, fingers stretching against her pulse point. One flight could see her bleed out, one squeeze could crush beyond repair, one twist could snap and shatter. So drugged, it wouldn’t be painful. So quick, she’d never wake.

Orders requested live capture.

“You make me doubt.” He told the sleeping woman. Doubt that the Boss was making the right calls. Doubt that they were the wrong calls because they were for the wrong cause. Doubt in the Holy Blessing, that it failed to come to her, Choosing someone much less worthy.

Just as well. I’d hate to have to kill her. He hoped, that when his time came, he could be almost as strong a Chosen as she embodied, even without the Blessing. Once, he’d entertained thoughts of being the Blade, with her his beautiful Will. But that wasn’t his destiny.

He really should kill her.

#project: updating the medium #my writing #mentions of:#genocide #war #betrayal #oppressive governments #coups #time travel #villain POV #kinda #Evoluan's morality is not your morality #Whitewings is a doctor not a therapist and would really like some help #the problem with time travel where you know what needs fixing but not how to fix it #I have more world building than I do story for this one

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stevemoffett · 7 years ago

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Movies, 2017 (TV and music too)

I didn’t have time to see too many movies this year, but I saw enough to be generally satisfied. Here they are below, in roughly chronological order. Ones I saw in the theater are marked with an asterisk.

Split John Wick: Chapter 2* Get Out* I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore Logan Kong: Skull Island T2 Trainspotting Ghost in the Shell The Discovery Graduation (Bacalaureat)* Alien: Covenant* Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Baby Driver* Okja Dunkirk* Kidnap It* mother!* Kingsman: The Golden Circle* Blade Runner 2049* The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Star Wars: The Last Jedi* The Trip to Spain American Made Bright

I’ve just grouped them into a general positive or negative feeling. Many of the negative feelings were just a result of my expectations: if I expect a movie is going to be good, and it turns out to be just okay, then I tend to like it even less. On the other hand, there’s Kidnap.

Generally negative takeaway:

Split (Spoilers):

Oddly enough, it was M. Night Shyamalan himself who spoiled this movie for me on Twitter--well, the very end of it. Anyway, as with this and “The Visit,” I was surprised with Shyamalan’s gall in storytelling, how he implied some unspeakable acts, and killing at least as many people as would be necessary to make it scary, and then some. On the other hand, the whole split-personalities conceit was a little bit stupid. Especially the little kid one. What little kid acts like that? Little kid actors, that’s who.

John Wick: Chapter 2:

John Wick 1 I liked because it was a good action movie that didn’t have filler, not because of the all the “world building” it did. Personally, I could not care less about a bunch of assassins and their version of chivalry. This movie leaned into the world building part and sacrificed the urgency.

Kong: Skull Island:

The part liked the most was its blend of end-of-war Vietnam blue balls with something incredibly silly. Like most modern big action movies, though, aside from a few clever moments, it was pretty run-of-the-mill.

Ghost in the Shell:

I’ve never seen the original, but this movie seemed like it had parts cut out of it, and maybe the original was just so influential that this movie seems old because everything made after it has tread the same ground.

The Discovery (spoilers):

Big disappointment. It started with one of the best setups I’ve heard in the past few years (a scientist proves empirically that some kind of afterlife exists, and millions commit suicide when they hear about it), and then the whole thing devolves into a rip-off of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, without the convincing romance. I didn’t care much about any of the characters--they seemed like maybe the least interesting people the movie could have followed given the setup.

Okja:

Another disappointment, only because 1) it was too long, and 2) knowing Bong Joon-ho’s earlier movies made me ready for this movie to be truly biting, and it did not deliver. At times it was silly to the point of “why am I watching this,” and at other parts, it seemed to pull back when it could have really gotten dark.

It:

The kid-drama stuff was good, the actors were good, but it might have been the least scary movie I’ve ever seen.

Generally positive takeaway:

Get Out:

This movie’s been analyzed to death, and for good reason, so let it just be known that I thought it was one of the best of the year and that the movie kept me completely at unease the entire time. It had great script economy, by which I mean all setups led to satisfying but non-obvious payoffs. That’s one of the great pleasures of storytelling--when you get to look back on earlier parts of the story and realize that you’d read things completely wrong, but the correct reading seems obvious, even inevitable, when you look again. If I had one small criticism (and this is more critical of the online reaction to the movie than it is to the movie itself), it’d be that it wasn’t quite as astonishingly original as it’s purported to be since it had so many parallels to The Stepford Wives.

I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore:

This movie was made by a guy who works with Jeremy Saulnier (Blue Ruin, Green Room), and it was sort of a cross between Saulnier’s stuff and the Coen brothers’ movies. A well-timed sense of humor and well-earned anxiety about meaninglessness made it interesting.

Logan:

Yeah, Wolverine + realism + lots of F-words + no inter-dimensional cataclysm at the end = a better superhero movie than usual.

T2 Trainspotting:

I thought this was going to be some kind of sad revisiting of the consequences of the first one but it turned out to be much better: it was a sad revisiting of the consequences of the first one, wrapped up in a sleazy and funny story. It kind of made Begbie into a cartoon character, though.

Graduation (Bacalaureat):

I saw this movie because I wanted to appear sophisticated and cosmopolitan to the person I saw it with, but it was still pretty good. It seemed to be realistic about corruption--specifically, about the banality of that particular kind of evil. We had a long conversation about what makes a good or bad parent afterward.

Alien: Covenant (spoilers):

Some stuff was telegraphed too obviously so the “twists” weren’t surprising, and occasionally it went into the realm of the schlocky slasher movie, and there was a 20 minute part of the movie that seemed to have no purpose, but at the movie’s best, it was frightening and disturbing and had some big ideas. There’s a reason that when I have good nightmares (i.e., nightmares that don’t involve family sickness/death, or taking a final in a math class I forgot I’d registered for), the alien xenomorph is usually the thing that is after me.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:

Cool movie.

Baby Driver:

I saw this on my birthday, and I was in a great mood, so I might remember it as better than it was, but I think in retrospect, 1) it was a better-than-average action movie, and 2) it was extremely well choreographed and edited.

Dunkirk (a big spoiler):

One cool thing I realized after getting out of the movie is that aside from one or two shots at the very end, you never actually see the enemy. I think that’s partially what made it effectively claustrophobic. It’s kind of miraculous that this movie was made--it was so spare that it seemed like a gigantically-budgeted art film.

Kidnap:

This one-long-chase thriller I was prepared to groan at, but it was like another movie I saw and loved called Breakdown with Kurt Russell. There were plenty of “why doesn’t she just...?” moments, but there were also a lot of moments where I was thinking “Yeah, do that, exactly! Yes!” Critically, I thought it was unfairly trashed.

mother! (spoilers):

I generally like Aronofsky’s movies, but this one I might like the least of the ones I’ve seen. In the beginning, by the moviemaking craft alone I was totally rapt, up until a little before the halfway point, when I suddenly figured out what was going on. It was like pulling the correct piece of string from a huge knot. The rest of the movie became meaningless when I realized that there was no logical progression to the story.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle:

This movie was of the same quality as the last movie, but it didn’t do anything as surprising as the original one did, either. I was entertained the whole time, but never really caught off guard.

Blade Runner 2049 (spoilers):

I think if I had to choose I’d say this was my favorite of the year. I hope that it gets a nomination for best cinematography. K’s character was great, the setting was great, and the mystery was actually involving (unlike in the first one!). One thing that bothered me, though, is how the most disturbing murders in the movie were of women. One of the murders seemed almost gratuitous. I guess it was meant to push my buttons, in which case mission accomplished. A huge success in atmosphere and acting, though.

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected):

This movie could almost be a sequel to The Squid and the Whale, but I liked it more. It was more schmaltzy but also more realistic and prosaic (in a good way; lately I have less patience for Lou Reed and the final two shots from The Squid and the Whale).

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (huge spoilers):

Even though I wasn’t as over the moon for this movie as for The Force Awakens (this year, it comes in at second after Blade Runner), I’d say that it was almost assuredly because I had ultra high expectations for it to meet. Since it’s not doing that great at the box office (for a Star Wars movie), I hope they don’t get rid of Rian Johnson for his standalone SW trilogy. In this movie he got the tone right (in my opinion), and he made some weird choices, most of which I really liked. They were different and unexpected, and that is really valuable, even if they don’t succeed. The problems I had with the movie are problems I would have with any movie (e.g. why don’t they just make hyperdrive missiles?, where did that romance come from?...).

The Trip to Spain:

This is the third movie in the series and the first one that feels like a retread. While the first two were able to mine ennui out of the landscapes and the men’s reactions to it, this one felt more like someone decided they needed to add plot in. The result is no ennui drawn from the surroundings, and more like the emotional turns could have happened anywhere.

American Made:

After I saw the movie I looked up the real story of the main guy and the movie is almost a total fabrication. That said, it was well-paced, scripted, acted, and edited. Somehow it made a U.S. citizen’s and the U.S. government’s enormously unethical actions entertaining (while also giving reminders of how awful they were, without having to resort to scenes that viscerally demonstrate their consequences).

Bright:

This movie and Star Wars have made me a little bit uneasy about my relationship with critical reviews. Star Wars got 86 on Metacritic, and while I really enjoyed it, almost none of the critical reviews I read had any of the problems I had with the movie. On the other side of it, Bright got a 29 on Metacritic, with critics calling it dull, awkward, tone-deaf, poorly plotted, et cetera. I found myself entertained all the way through. I think that other than “dull,” those criticisms are valid, though. Maybe it’s just like I said at the beginning--my expectations heavily color the experience I end up having. I’d say that Star Wars was a better movie, but I don’t think I’d be able to easily point out exactly where Star Wars zigged and Bright zagged. Bright reminded me of something I’d channel surf to in 1997 on a Sunday afternoon and stick with. I’m actually thinking specifically of a movie I barely remember called Alien Nation.

Ok--now, for TV:

Master of None season 2:

I liked this season a lot more than season 1. I think the main reason was because it was a lot less didactic this time around.

Love season 2:

Not as good as season 1. I don’t think I’d want to be spend any time with either of the main characters if they were real people. It got a little too convoluted towards the end.

Stranger Things season 2 (BIG spoilers):

The first few “slow” episodes were the best ones, I thought. I didn’t like the X-Men-style episode. Joe Keery’s character was probably the most entertaining (I know I’m jumping on the internet bandwagon with this opinion). I didn’t like the interdimensional cataclysm at the end, as usual, but there was no dropoff in quality compared to season 1 (though, like with Kingsman, the lack of novelty was inevitable. And the X-Men episode wasn’t so much something innovative within the universe but instead hopping into another, extremely well-tread universe).

Mindhunter:

I have read that some people say this show is disturbing. I don’t think it’s disturbing at all, but it’s really interesting and the atmosphere is totally unique.

The Leftovers:

Oh, damn! How could I have forgotten this? The final season was truly great, and it’s one of my favorite shows of all time as a whole. In only a fraction of the episodes, all my anger at the mishandling of Lost is gone.

American Vandal:

The mystery was excellent. I haven’t been in high school for 15 years, but it certainly seems to be an accurate portrayal. Highly recommended.

Black Mirror:

Still my favorite show, but now I’m trying so hard to anticipate the twists that it’s not quite as mind-blowing as it was in its first two seasons. It really is very similar to the Twilight Zone (my favorite episodes of which were “The Lonely” [except for the end] and “A Nice Place to Visit”). I haven’t finished this season yet, but I’ve enjoyed the five that I’ve watched (episodes 2-6).

Whoa, those are all Netflix shows. Aside from that, all I’ve watched was Ninja Warrior (in a group) and Saturday Night Live (I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this, but I’ve watched almost every episode of SNL since around...1999 or 2000?).

Music:

I generally don’t listen to music that I dislike, so here are the albums I liked the most this past year, in decreasing order of enjoyment (each one links to a track on the album I liked):

Fleet Foxes - Crack-Up

Father John Misty - Pure Comedy

LCD Soundsystem - American Dream

Mac DeMarco - This Old Dog

The Flaming Lips - Oczy Mlody

Aesop Rock - The Impossible Kid (actually came out in 2016)

Run the Jewels - Run the Jewels 3 (came out on Christmas 2016)

Beck - Colors

St. Vincent - Masseduction

Foxygen - Hang

Beck’s new one was a little disappointing, considering that he’s one of my all-time favorites. I liked the new Arcade Fire album fine, but I got sick of it after about a week.

My friend Dan got me into the hip hop albums. I almost never listen to hip hop (except the newer Kanye West stuff), but these albums were a really big help when I was a bundle of nerves at the lab.

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