#boring postcards 2

[rwpohl]

barnvagnen, bo widerberg 1963

[isinuyasha-art]

[grunge-mermaid]

is this just normal post-swedish eurovision or is 2017 unusually terrible?

[usnatarchives]

August Hashtag Party: Gather around the warm glow of your computers for #ArchivesCampfire on 8/2 on X and Instagram.

Gather ‘round, history buffs! It’s time to kindle your creativity and fan the flames of your archival passions. A spark of community! The glow of history! The warmth of shared stories! Join us for the next #ArchivesHashtagParty, #ArchivesCampfire, set to blaze on Friday, August 2, 2024. ⛺

With the National Archives inviting you to a day of virtual storytelling and shared history, we’re sparking conversations about summer camps, memorable outdoor adventures, and historic campfire gatherings. And rumor has it, Smokey the Bear might make a guest appearance to remind us to share archival flames responsibly!

For this #ArchivesCampfire event, we’re on the hunt for materials that capture the essence of the great outdoors and the magic of a campfire. Share photos, letters, documents, and artifacts that reflect the nostalgia, camaraderie, and timeless tradition of camping. Let’s see those snapshots that warm the heart, tell a story, or make us s’more curious about history.

Let’s make this #ArchivesCampfire Hashtag Party a night to rem-ember! Here are some ideas to spark your posts:

-Vintage photos postcards from summer camps and outdoor adventures.

-Letters or diary entries recounting memorable campfire stories or outdoor experiences.

-Artifacts or memorabilia from historic camping trips or famous campgrounds.

-Anecdotes about famous campers, historic campfire tales, or traditions.

Don’t miss out - it’s going to be lit! Thank you for joining us at the #ArchivesGoForGold finish line in July! Here are some stats:

Total mentions: 954 Total reach: 5.7M Total impressions: 74M Unique authors: 446

Remember, only YOU can prevent boring posts!

[akirathedramaqueen]

There's one piece of concept art that made me see the entire Apology Tour disaster in a different light.

So, we've been talking with @warblogs17282 about Stolitz and how their break-up ended up playing out in the 'Apology Tour' episode.

Why ended up? Well, there's a collection of concept art which, to my limited understanding of this craft, is one of the first steps in the production process of animation. This post by @birdy-babe includes a great chunk of it, shared by artists after the episodes aired (like storyboards, but much more stylised, showing how different some original ideas were). Long story short, one of the concept arts from the 'Apology Tour' episode suggests their quarrel was originally meant to be much harsher.

A short summary of the concept art to see what we are dealing with

In the background, you see a lot of apology postcards and silly cutesy stationery, suggesting Blitzø is in the middle of his Apology Tour.

The contact name isn't 'Stols' but 'Bird Dick,' implying their relationship is at an earlier stage, with less respect—at least on Blitzø's part.

There's a photo partially cut by the edge of the messages screen. From the signature gloves and boots, cowboy hat covering Blitzø's private parts, and visible nipples, it appears to be a nude image—replaced in later stages of development with stupid gay affirmation memes (as hard as it is to believe, I couldn't imagine there could be anything worse than the Striker horse gay jokes... well, it could, my dudes, it fucking COULD).

There are three messages, one of which is unsent:

"Stolas, cum awwwwwwn, u no u want it :)"—likely attached to the nude;

"Dude just talk to me"—desperation crawls in; he finally realises the shit has hit the fan;

"Im sowwy :("—an apology, but the text remains unsent, perhaps because it seems pointless, given that the 'Not Delivered' notifications and warning signs indicate Stolas has blocked his number.

Why do I find this fascinating, and why does it fill me with immense hope?

Because they still fucking care so much, and neither has completely closed the door on the other. By comparing the concept art to the final product, you can see how many intentional choices were made in dialogue, visuals, and behaviour to make it clear that these two idiots still want things to continue. Stolitz is meant to fucking live.

Now, if you want to see some comparisons—evidence, really—let's dive into each other's changes, focusing on what we can gather from the concept art.

Blitzø's side

Change 1—thank gods, no nudes. The gay memes are sillier and a bit lighter. Of course, they still showcase utter disrespect, a horrible prejudice against sexuality, and a poor understanding of how deeply Stolas was hurt, but I find them... less bad.

Change 2—no more 'Bird Dick.' Blitzø has actually come up with a real nickname for Stolas! Feelings are boring for you, huh, Blitzø? I can almost hear the song’s lines: "O-oh, hooked, addicted you might say, conflicted in a way…"

Change 3—Blitzø's attempts to apologize now show much more contemplation. Since Stolas hasn’t blocked him, Blitzø knows his words aren’t just being thrown into the void. Although the 'unsent' detail remains, it now carries real weight and impact.

All three changes are seen in these two GIFs.

He knows he did wrong. He knows he wants to salvage it. He might not yet know how to do it healthily, but he tries—he tries so fucking hard!

Look at the range of raw, cutting emotions as he speaks to Stolas and finally delivers his apology—probably the only one he genuinely meant. Well, maybe except for Verosika, a bit later.

It's not that it's hard for Blitzø to say 'sorry'—we've seen him do it a lot lately. He's actually quick to apologise and take responsibility, so Stolas's remark about him not feeling any remorse couldn’t be further from the truth. But the fact that he isn't running away this time—chasing after Stolas and trying his best to mend things—is drastically different from how he treated Verosika back then.

Stolas's side

Here’s the moment that struck me deep. It’s the only change, since the concept art shows Blitzø’s POV, but it’s such a significant one.

Do you think Stolas has moved on? Do you think he’s done with Blitzø? Not convinced, even when he’s literally singing about still wanting Blitzø?

Well, here’s your proof—he didn’t block Blitzø. They scrapped that.

More than that, the entire interaction emphasizes that Stolas isn’t pushing Blitzø away for good.

How do I know this? Stolas is very insistent on using phrases like 'for now,' 'right now,' and 'now' throughout his attempts to tell Blitzø off.

Here are some citations:

"I was hoping my lack of 'ha-ha's' in response to the photos you sent me would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now."

"Seeing you right now is hard!"

"I'm tired of this! I'm uncomfortable with how you're speaking to me now!"

Why is this so important? Because he isn’t asking Blitzø to leave him forever. All he’s asking for is time.

Even while hurt, Stolas gives Blitzø plenty of chances to explain himself civilly. Look at the hopeful glances each time Blitzø shows any glimpse of genuineness.

Stolas fucking hopes Blitzø will take back all the cruel things said and brash actions done.

You know, Stolas... I've spent the entirety of this morning listening to love ballads, and that was...

For what?! You want me to be like, "Oh sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I've let my self-hatred stop me from apologising to anyone I could ever care about!"

You see the furrowed brows and the sad look? Stolas hopes for the best... but gets the worst because Blitzø isn’t there yet.

I’d even go so far as to say Stolas is acutely aware that Blitzø uses his brashness as a shield to protect himself. He literally sang about it in 'Just Look My Way.'

Unless it's me? And no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through these walls you've conjured up to live.

So, what gives?

Is this the behaviour of people who want to give up on a relationship they still clearly hold dear?

No. Even when they’re angry, aggressive, hurt, or drunk, they still seek understanding and forgiveness. They continue to listen and try.

They might lack the skills and may choose the wrong time, place, or words to express what truly matters...

One person, scared of being rejected so much that he unconsciously conveys this message by saying, "You don’t have to stay here with me," and carrying it throughout the whole conversation...

The other, coming to terms with his feelings, admits them, and his fears, a bit too late—when his romantic interest is too drunk to comprehend anything…

And in both cases—self-loathing, self-hatred, doubts, scars, trauma… and a lack of hope.

But there is hope. No, this is reassurance, my folks.

You know when it's hardest to stay in a relationship? When it’s hardest to come and say, "I am sorry," when it’s hardest to still love the person?

When you’re hurt. When they’ve hurt you.

And, despite that, you still come to them and still want to talk to them.

If this isn’t ironclad evidence that this is more than just a fling or a couple of fun sex dates, I don’t know what is.

And the 'Apology Tour' fucking proves it, rather than ruins it. It only strengthens the point. It’s easy to live in happiness, but it’s so hard to go through it while you’re in pain. When you see them doing that, you realise it means everything to them.

Stolitz is to live.

[princessfbi]

Top five favorite buckley siblings moments in the series

*SCREECH*

1. Maddie kissing Buck’s birthmark

2. Maddie revealing she kept the postcards

3. Maddie meeting Buck in his own space to see if he needed to talk after the reveal of his therapy/Maddie making sure Buck has never been a disappointment

4. Buck telling Maddie that she was the one who raised him

5. Maddie pinky promising that Buck was never going to get left behind.

HONORABLE MENTION: Buck and Maddie reuniting after her kidnapping

Send Me Top 5 or Really Any Asks Cus I'm BORED

[femslashbigbang]

[MASTERPOST] March Challenge

And look at that, challenge 2 completed. Another super exciting collection of creations, including art! Thanks again to everyone who participated, and please check out our April Challenge which is currently live!

Writing

Don’t talk to strangers or you might fall in love. by partially_planet

Fandom: Original Works Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: OC / OC Summary: Michelle wakes up to find that the person she was road tripping with took an unexpected detour. Said person is also calling her pet names. For the Femslash Big Bang's Monthly Challenge prompt for March: the places on our maps

How Fran and Michaela survived the last 3 major family events by KapandherScratchpad

Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Francesca Bridgerton/Michaela Stirling Summary: Edinburgh 2028, Brighton 2029, and Disneyland Paris 2031 as told by Fran and Michaela’s private chat. Femslash Big Bang Monthly Prompt for March: The Places on Our Maps

Brilliance by kopycat_101

Fandom: Vinland Saga (Manga) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Gudrid/Hild (Vinland Saga) Summary: After weeks of keeping watch over an injured Thorfinn in Bergen, Hild's become bored and restless. She decides to take a break and walk around the village to clear her head. When she's by the docks, Hild recognizes Leif and Gudrid on their ship and decides to satiate her curiosity. She doesn't account for the sailor woman's warm personality to reel her in so quickly. (Canon compliant, set between Chapter 123 and 124 of the manga.)

a collection of printed memories by frankenjoly

Fandom: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: March 7th/Stelle (Honkai: Star Rail) Summary: Also, March not hiding said reasons didn’t mean she couldn’t have surprises in store, something evidenced one night when Stelle entered her room (after knocking, though, but getting no response despite knowing she would be there), and finding the other girl kneeling on the floor, surrounded by countless printed photographs. “Hi, March, do you--” for femslash big bang's march monthly challenge: the places on our maps march goes for a decoration project, stelle tags along, they get in kahoots to surprise the rest of the express.

home is wherever you are by GallifreyanFairytale

Fandom: Avatar: Legend of Korra Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Lin Beifong/Kya II Summary: “Spirits,” Lin mumbles under her breath. Hanging on the wall, above her couch, is a large map of the world. There are stickers over several places in the Earth Kingdom, and Kya skips over to pick up the sticker pack from Lin’s coffee table so she can push it into Lin’s hands. “I put stickers on all the places I’ve visited so far, since you didn’t get any postcards. Isn’t it great!?” “Um.” Lin looks down at the stickers, then back up at the map, and then to Kya. “Sure.” Kya beams. lin, kya, and a world map: a story told in three parts

Paper Maps or GPS? by Butimachrldr2

Fandom: Once Upon A Time (TV) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan Summary: Series: Maps Femslash BigBang Monthly challenge - March Prompt Entry. Emma and Regina take the bug on a trip to visit Henry. The former mayor goes old school with printed directions and a paper map. The Sheriff prefers to rely on her GPS. Naturally this leads our two favorite ladies into an argument about which is better. What neither expect is what they learn about each other in the process…

Lunella and Casey's Map of the LES by skylarkblue

Fandom: Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (Cartoon 2023) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Casey Calderon/Lunella Lafayette Summary: The ten places in New York that make up Lunella and Casey's relationship.

The places (and so many bodies) on our maps by Ennn (Enb0t)

Fandom: Agatha All Along (TV) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Agatha Harkness/Rio Vidal Summary: “Honestly, this isn’t much different from when you tracked mud through the house after that fishing trip,” she muses, tone almost playful. “Blood, mud—you never could keep things clean.” Rio snorts, the familiarity of the argument almost startling. “Says the woman who let a casserole burn in the oven for three days while she was ‘at her mother’s.’” “I reimbursed you for that.” “With my own credit card.” — Mrs. and Mrs. Harkness-Vidal have just learned that their wife of five years has been lying about what she does for a living—and that someone wants them both dead. So they're talking. Inspired by the Mr. and Mrs. Smith movie. For the Femslash Big Bang's Monthly Challenge March prompt: the places on our maps

Maps by wolfraven80

Fandom: Fire Emblem Musou: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth Summary: Shez sighed. "You're missing the point here." "The point?" Byleth repeated, her eyes darting to the map and wondering if there was something marked on it that she was unaware of. "Edelgard," Shez said under her breath. "The point is for you—" she paused to point directly at Byleth, "to spend time with her outside of a war meeting or a tactical planning session." --- Or: Shez decides to give Byleth and Edelgard a little push.

The Roads Taken by ErazonPO3

Fandom: Pokemon Legends: Arceus (Video Game) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Shirona | Cynthia/Luculia Hiver (Original Character) Summary: A brief look at the journey through Hisui from Cynthia's eyes, of the shifting terrain and a shifting relationship with her temporal stowaway. For the March challenge prompt: the places on our maps

My Sister the Villainess Queen Made My Body Into a Seductive Sorceress! (E) by stuckinsanguinus 

Fandom: Original Work Rating: E // Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Pairing: OC / OC Summary: Princess Lili would use her magic and do just about anything for her older sister, the cruel and sexual Queen Maria—but when an arcane ritual goes awry, Lili realizes her sister wanted something even more from her—her body itself! There was a groan from across the room and she looked up. There, against the wall. A tall, slender body sat up, wizard robes hanging off their arms. A hand brought to their face, feeling the glasses on them, and lifting violet eyes to stare at Lili. "Lili?" The voice wasn't quite recognizable to her. "I—" Lili gulp. "—your—" "—me?" The sisters stared at each for a long moment in silence, each from the body of the other.

Liking. by JediAnnieScrambler

Fandom: Company - Sondheim/Furth Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Joanne/Robert (Company) Joanne/Bobbie (Company) Summary: “If you ever get married,” Joanne said, not looking at Bobbie, “Find someone you like. Someone you’re always gonna like.” Bobbie watched the smoke Joanne exhaled, turning the words over in her mind. “I like you,” Bobbie said finally, then added quickly, “And I like Larry.” “Yeah?” Joanne glanced down at her, eyebrow crooked, “I like you too kid.”

Cross-Reality Check by 429_CarCrash

Fandom: Marvel, DCU Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Kate Bishop/America Chavez, Koriand'r/Donna Troy Summary: Kate was expecting to learn new things on this multiverse trip with America. She just wasn't expecting to learn new things about herself.

messages from around the world by theriveroflight

Fandom: Layton Kyouju Series | Professor Layton Series Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Emmy Altava/Janice Quatlane Summary: Both Janice and Emmy have jobs that take them around the world. As a result, it's difficult to keep in touch -- but they have their ways.

stardust spread out in your eyes by littencloud9

Fandom: Alien Stage (Web Series) Rating: G // Major Character Death Pairing: Mizi/Sua (Alien Stage) Summary: Mizi, she hears, the voice sinking into her like a heavy, agonising weight, I'm waiting for you. Will you come visit me? “No,” Mizi whispers, and it’s an act of defiance as much as it is an act of grief. “I refuse.” She swears the stars get a little dimmer after that. or, when your lover's grave is among the stars, do you grow to resent them?

my place in your heart by Grollow

Fandom: RWBY Rating: T // Graphic Depictions Of Violence Pairing: Coco Adel/Velvet Scarlatina Summary: Velvet and Coco have only grown closer throughout the years — much to Velvet's surprise.

unlike anyone I've met (I'm not biased she's just perfect) by lyricalark

Fandom: The Naturals - Jennifer Lynn Barnes Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Celine Delacroix/Sloane Tavish Summary: Celine and Sloane video call and Celine tries once again to put her girlfriend's face to paper.

sand and sea by yuribalisms

Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Beidou/Dehya (Genshin Impact) Summary: The crew of the Crux finds themselves in Sumeru for a job and could use a local to help them out. Lumine suggests Dehya.

The Places on our Maps (M) by LizLimone998

Fandom: Trainspotting Series - Irvine Welsh Rating: M // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Nikki Fuller-Smith/Diane Coulston Summary: "Are you asking me to run away with you? Where would we go?" Nikki left Leith for California and never looked back. She thought she'd made a clean break but unfortunately, wherever you go you take yourself with you. And she knows how she feels about Diane. But that's not to say it fixes anything.

the one less traveled by kopycat_101

Fandom: ダンジョン飯 | Dungeon Meshi | Delicious in Dungeon Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Kiki Floke/Namari Summary: Namari had a bad habit of falling for taller women. But getting a crush on her new boss's daughter-slash-granddaughter was small potatoes compared to the unraveling of the dungeon. Maybe dating Kiki wouldn't be as bad or complicated as whatever they ended up facing in the depths of the Mad Mage’s place, in order to help Laios save Falin. (A canon compliant fic retelling the manga from the eyes of Namari.)

I really liked you by siluredore

Fandom: Doctor Who (2005) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Heather (Doctor Who: The Pilot)/Bill Potts Summary: After the Pilot, Bill revisits some places she shared with Heather. Written for the March challenge prompt the places on our maps

mapping out your skin: the first destination by SlantedKnitting

Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Gwen/Morgana (Merlin) Summary: Gwen books Morgana as the artist for her first tattoo.

I'm careless, I believe by hprse

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender (Cartoon 2005) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Azula/Yue (Avatar) Summary: Yue and Azula make their way through an Earth Kingdom forest after being sold a poorly-made map. The two of them think about their past amidst their irritation. Written for the March prompt of the Femslash Big Bang Monthly Challenge, maps.

Moments on a Map by anxiouspotatoinblue

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan Summary: Regina thinks she is going to have a simple dinner date with her girlfriend, and is sent on a trip down memory lane instead. Femslash BigBang Monthly challenge - March Prompt Entry.

Five Places Kate Took Harper After Therapy by Hollie47

Fandom: Batwoman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Kate Kane/Harper Row Summary: Harper's usually pretty volatile after therapy, so Kate has started taking her out afterwards.

it will come back by dryadfiona

Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Jaheira/Isobel Thorm Summary: Isobel is a light in the darkness. Jaheira wants to trust it. Despite herself, she does trust it. Still, a High Harper should be more discerning. Given a lack of Selûne's tears to know for certain, she pays attention. -- Or: Jaheira reflects on Isobel, who doesn't quite make sense, before the tadpoled arrive at Last Light.

I could be the shadow at your feet by sithfox (krazykikivii)

Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Republic Commando Series - Karen Traviss, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types Rating: T // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Arla Fett/Bo-Katan Kryze Summary: Bo-Katan needs to prove her worth to Pre Vizsla if she wants to continue climbing the ranks of Kyr'tsad. But when Pre assigns Arla to assess her readiness for promotion, she's going to cherish every look and touch she gets.

Prove It (E) by strangersea

Fandom: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021) Rating: E // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Jinx (League of Legends)/Sevika (Arcane: League of Legends) Summary: Jinx proves to be more useful than Sevika had anticipated.

what our skin says (M) by drowsyfeline

Fandom: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) Rating: M // Graphic Depictions of Violence Pairing: Ieiri Shoko/Iori Utahime Summary: Shoko holds Utahime by the jaw. Her fingers are firm and warm, pressing into her flesh. Brown eyes stare intensely at her. She uses the other hand to spread the cream gently. It’s careful. Delicate. Precise. Uthaime wonders if this is what it's like to be held by someone. To be malleable and transformed into something that wants.

ghostly figures can get so bitter by AquamarineMemeBender

Fandom: Alien Stage (Web Series) Rating: T // Graphic Depictions of Violence Pairing: Hyuna/Mizi (Alien Stage), Luka & Mizi (Alien Stage), Luka/Mizi (Alien Stage) Summary: "Hyuna’s map isn’t just places on Earth, but that’s most of it. She had written little notes in squiggly handwriting, colored ink, by her landmarks, discussing research and treasures and stories and what she’d been told about them all. “We’re finishing it,” says Mizi. “The map. You’re coming with me.” Luka snorts. Just slightly. It makes Mizi’s lips thin and her blood race. “Sure,” says Luka, finally. His eyes sweep around the room. As far as Mizi knows, no one goes into this room but him. No one goes out, either, usually. “Sure. When are we leaving?”" Or: In the aftermath of Hyuna's death, Luka and Mizi follow her map to visit the places on Earth she never got to go to.

Of Voyagers Past, Present, and Future (E) by Shane_For_Wax

Fandom: Star Trek Rating: E // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Raffi Musiker/Seven of Nine/B'Elanna Torres Summary: Ex-Wives, but now current lovers B'Elanna and Seven receive an invitation to see the new USS Voyager-B in a ceremony where its predecessor is also shown at the Starfleet museum. Which causes them to remember their time on the original Voyager (no bloody A, B, C, or D) and share their experiences with Raffi. (Will NOT be a clip show in fanfic form of canon stories. Reading the rest of the B7 and Along Came Raffi series not required for this but it helps because OCs from the series are brought in such as B7's son from when they were married and to also explain the 'ex-wives but current lovers' part. Because sometimes people who divorce get back together and it sticks that time.) Rated Explicit for Chapter 4 only. Also: As with the rest of the B7 and Along Came Raffi series, there is some… character bashing on Tom in character. If that isn't your thing, this won't be your kind of fic. Harry/Chakotay is one step above just being mentioned, appearing in Chapter 2 for the Voyager reunion then it's the BSaffi show again. Part of the Femslash Big Bang March Monthly Challenge: The places on our maps.

Podfic

[podfic] Of All the Coffee Shops in All the World... by CarCrash_Pods (429_CarCrash)

Fandom: The Magicians (TV) Rating: G // No Archive Warnings Apply Pairing: Jesamin "Sam" Cunningham/Janet Pluchinsky, Margo Hanson/Kady Orloff-Diaz Summary: [Audio length: 17:05] Eventually they both need to look away, and then Janet is standing up and saying something about getting them a pastry to share and walking away and Sam is left to sink into the booth, blushing, and thinking about how much of a disaster she is. How much of a nervous mess Janet makes her.

Art

Lady Dimitrescu / Ada Wong art by @odyooles

Fandom: Resident Evil Pairing: Lady Dimitrescu/Ada Wong

mapping your constellations by @rhywhitefang

Fandom: Dragon Age Pairing: Sigrun/Vellana

[fairy-princette]

i gave your name as my emergency phone call

AO3 link | 1 2 3 4 (you are here) 5 6

Stan receives a postcard from his twin brother - who he's not seen in a decade - asking for his help. But like with everything else in his life, he runs into some trouble on his way there

4. i’ll let the pain metastasize

Ford awoke with a groan to the smell of fresh coffee brewing. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes he looked into the - surprisingly clean - kitchen and saw Fiddleford puttering about. He called out to his old friend to untie him. Or rather, he tried to. His efforts were rather impeded by what felt like a large piece of tape covering his mouth.

“Mmmm, mmmm!”

“Oh, Stanford! You’re awake!” Fiddleford walked over to him and leant down to peer carefully into his eyes. “Good to have you back. Now, this might hurt.”

Before Ford had a chance to prepare himself the tape was ripped from his face and he found himself wishing he’d put more care into shaving the last few days as he felt more than one piece of hair get pulled out with it.

“Did anything-” Ford coughed to clear his throat. “Did anything noteworthy happen during the night? Why was my mouth taped? Why is my throat sore?”

“As far as I’m aware, there was nothing eventful. Bill was mouthin’ off at Stan and apparently he decided this was the best solution. From how he’s telling it Cipher spent most of the night screaming through the tape until he got bored. Stanley’s still asleep upstairs - he was up most of the night watching over you.”Ford nodded in understanding as Fiddleford finished untying the last of his bindings, and followed him through to the kitchen, picking his glasses up off the table.

“You cleaned?”

“Hmm?” Fiddleford looked up from where he was pouring a mug of coffee. “Oh no, it was like this when I came down, must’ve been Stanley. Here.” Ford took the proffered mug. “That should help your throat some. I’d do you some proper honey and lemon but you’re out of, well, everything.”

Ford tried to remember the last time he’d been grocery shopping, but between hiding the journals, fighting off Bill and decommissioning the portal he hadn’t had much time left for the usual mundanities of life. “I might have some canned stuff left in the cupboard?” he offered.

“I saw. There was more snow last night so I didn’t want to risk the roads so soon, so I’ve done us a breakfast of ramen and canned peaches.”

The two of them pulled the same face at the thought of the meal.

“After all this is done I’m going to invent a nutrient powder. Then you could add it to water, or maybe have it in a pill, and have a whole meal and I never have to go to grocery shopping again.”

“Couldn’t be any worse than your usual cooking.”“Hey, I’ll have you know I’ve not burned a single meal in weeks!”“And how many meals have you actually cooked in that time?”

“…”

“My point stands. Now drink up, buttercup, neither of us deserve to have to deal with you uncaffeinated.” The ceiling above them creaked. “Speaking of, sounds like sleeping beauty’s up. How’s he take his coffee?”

Ford paused. “I’m not sure - he used to take it with creamer and two sugars, but that information isn’t exactly up to date. You would be better off asking him.”

He stared down into his own black coffee. He and Stan used to be inseparable, living out of each other’s pockets. They were completely in sync, didn't even need to speak to talk to each other, and now he didn’t even know how he took his coffee int he morning. It was strange seeing him again. He’d been so angry at his twin for so long, nursing his resentment and contempt from him, but now that he was back he just missed him. He hadn’t missed Stanley for ten years, but now he was here, in his home, and somehow he felt further away than he ever had before. Like the emotional distance between them had been obscured by the physical. Last night Stanley had been within arms reach of him and he hadn’t known a single thing to say. Not even how to say hello. How do you go about greeting your estranged twin brother who you haven’t seen in a decade who tried to destroy your life? Where do you even start with that?

Ford was pulled from his thoughts by the thuds of Stanley’s boots as he descended the stairs.

“Morning,” Stanley crossed the kitchen, clapping Ford on the shoulder. “Ford, good to see that fucker’s pissed off. Fiddleford, is that coffee?”

“A fresh pot,” Fiddleford poured out a mug handing it to Stanley.

Stanley took the mug gratefully and sat opposite Ford, grabbing the small amount of creamer and sugar left and pouring them into his coffee. Maybe there were some things that never changed.

———

After their questionable breakfast and second round of coffee the three men sat around the table discussing the best way to destroy the portal. The portal itself was simple enough to destroy, the sticking point was what to do about the journals. Now that Stan didn’t have access to his El Diablo, not to mention the fact that they were still in the middle of a snowstorm, Ford’s so-called plan for him to take the journal and drive off with it across the country with it had gone out the window. Not that there was any world where Stan would finally see his brother again, just to up and leave again. They had been talking in circles for close to an hour, with each suggestion getting more and more outlandish as more and more got shot down.

Stan sighed, running his hand through his hair. God he needed it cut. “I just don’t get why you won’t destroy the journals.” He held his hand up before Ford could interrupt him. “I know, I know, it’s years of work, but if this portal’s as dangerous as you say, is your research really more important than the safety of the entire world?”

Ford let out a huff, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed. “Of course you would suggest that. I wouldn’t expect you to understand, you would have actually had to do something with your life to know what I’m losing.”

“Ford! That was uncalled for!”

“I don’t know what it’s like to lose something? I don’t, Ford?” Stan yelled, barely noticing that Fiddleford had spoken. “You don’t know anything about my life, or anything I’ve been through!”

“Oh please, we all saw your tv adverts, you were doing just fine out there scamming innocent people. Did you even try to get an honest job or do anything worthwhile?”

“Get an- I didn’t even get to finish high school!” Stan’s chair screeched across the floorboards, toppling over from the force of him standing. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but there’s not exactly a queue of people lining up to hire some homeless seventeen year old drop-out who lives in their car. It might not seem like it to you with your house and your job and your university degree, but me being here right now? Being able to find somewhere to sleep, having enough money to eat every day, having clothes on my back, keeping myself alive? That’s the worthwhile thing I’ve done. And yeah, maybe nobody else would give a flying fuck that I managed it - actually I can think of a few who’d rather I didn’t - but I care, so don’t you be sitting there in your ivory tower, all high and mighty! I might’ve made a stupid mistake when I was a kid but I have paid for it and then some. The literal entire world is on the line and you’re too selfish to destroy a few notebooks.”

Stan was breathing heavily as he stormed across the kitchen to the front door.

“They’re not just notebooks, it’s my life’s work!”

Stan spun back round to face his twin. “For God’s sake Ford, we’re not even thirty yet! You’ve not been alive long enough to have a life’s work! Are you really telling me these three journals, that’s it? That’s the best you can manage?” He turned and walked out into the snow. “We both know that’s not true.”

———

Stan shoved his hands deeper into his pockets as he trudged aimlessly through the snow. He might’ve been dressed for Ford’s unheated house, but it definitely wasn’t enough to be out in the remains of a snow storm. Realistically he should go back to the cabin before he starts to develop frostbite, but he really doesn’t want to have to face Ford again. They’d both always had a short fuse and if they ran into each other again now they’d just end up in another screaming match.

He continued to stomp through the snowdrifts, listening to the sounds of the forest; birds cheeped above him, the bushes and undergrowth rustled as small animals scurried about, and a small stream babbled in the distance. A flash of red caught the corner of his eye. Stan turned his head to catch it but was instead left staring a strange stag that had two pairs of antlers in a nearby clearing. The two stared at each other until the stags eyes blinked - out of sync - and it wandered off into the forest, head held high.

———

Ford tugged on his hiking boots and roughly pulled his winter jacket on over his turtle neck, taking the bag that Fiddleford handed him, filled with a spare jacket and woollens. Under normal circumstances he would have happily left Stanley to cool off after his outburst, but he was alone, in an unfamiliar forest, in sub zero temperatures without suitable clothing, in Gravity Falls. One of these circumstances alone would be enough to kill someone, never mind all three combined. Fiddleford had declared that he would wait back at the cabin incase Stanley returned, and would begin work on the calculations needed to safely decommission the portal - much more his area of expertise than Ford’s - while Ford tracked his brother through the snow. After all his time spent researching the anomalies in the forest he had gotten quite good at tracking if he did say so himself, although he doubted he would be requiring those skills with the footprints Stanley left in the fresh snow.

He trekked through the trees, tugging his scarf tight around his neck. Stanley didn’t have a scarf to wear. He double checked the duffle bag to make sure there was one tucked inside. He hadn’t had a scarf when Pa had kicked him out either. It was summer and he presumably went to stay at a friend’s house, but still. They hadn’t had many other friends growing up - it was always the two of them against the world - but he must’ve had some. Stanley had a big personality, he could talk his way into anything, he must have had somewhere to go that night. And the night after that. And all the nights after that. He can’t have been living in his car for ten years, that must be a recent occurrence.

And he had those tv adverts! Yes, Ford nodded to himself, if he had money for tv adverts he must have had income and somewhere to stay; it would be ridiculous to do so otherwise. But the adverts never lasted very long, and they always popped up with a new product, so his business ideas can’t have been very successful. And Stan always had been a bit ridiculous with his ideas, playing the long game for a better pay off later. It would be just like him to pay for a tv advert rather than rent.

And he was still claiming that it was a mistake, an accident, even after all these years. But why? It’s hardly like continuing that lie would help now, or get him out of trouble, they were all far past that. Unless it hadn’t been a lie. Act first, think later was practically the story of Stan’s life. But Pa was so sure, so positive that he had done it vindictively; he must have been otherwise how could he have thrown out his own son? Ford hitched the bag higher on his shoulder. He had gotten Stan’s bag of stuff together very quickly though, like he’d been planning that. Like the science fair was just the excuse he needed to get rid of him and have one less mouth to feed.

He continued to hike through the forest, lost in thoughts of the past, following Stan’s tracks and ignoring the occasional gnome that ran underfoot. After half an hour of walking, though it felt longer having to pull his feet through the snow, Ford saw Stan’s silhouette at the top of a small outcrop, looking out of the valley. He pulled himself up the short rise to stand next to him, looking down across the tops and trees and the lake.

The pair stood in silence, admiring the view. Rays of sunlight shone across the clear blue sky, twinkling on the blanket of snow was laid over the valley below them. The same light glistened on the waves of the lake, the boats moored at the jetty bobbing in the water.

“Y’know, it’s a really beautiful place you’ve found to live.”“You should see it the summer, the sun reflecting off the lake, all the creatures filling the forest with life. It’s something else.”

“Saw a weird deer earlier with double antlers.”“Ah, that’d be Henry. There’s a page or two on him in the first journal. His eyes glow when he’s near acidic soil.”

“Ford?”

“Yeah?”

Stanley turned to face him. “That’s really fucking weird.”

The two stared at each other before Ford’s mouth twitched and they both broke into laughter.

“This entire place is fucking weird - there’s a glade over there,” Ford gestured vaguely east, “Where a magical unicorn lives and I’ve had to get locks for my trash cans because the gnomes keep getting in.”

Ford slid the duffle bag off his shoulder, “Here, F grabbed you some layers - jumper, coat, gloves, the whole nine yards.”

Stanley dropped the bag and dug out the clothes, quickly pulling on the extra layers. “I swear, that man is an angel in disguise.”“Don’t I know it - I probably wouldn’t have survived my undergrad if he hadn’t been such a mother hen, making sure I ate and slept.”

“Good to know someone else took after I-” Ford watched as Stanley’s face closed off and he turned away. “It’s good to know you had someone looking out for you.”

Ford turned back to the view, dropping his arms by his side. “You were right, earlier.” He watched from the corner of his eye as Stanley froze. “I can do more research. Hell, if I wanted to I could do the same research again, it’s hardly like the anomalies have gone anywhere. But if that portal gets activated, if Bill manages to connect us to the Nightmare Realm, this’ll all be gone. It won’t matter what research I’ve done or if I prove my Unified Theory of Weirdness if there’s no-one left to see.”

Ford watched as Stan turned to stare at him wide-eyed before slowly lifting his hand towards his forehead. Ford quickly batted the hand away. “What are you doing?”

“I’m checking for a fever. There’s no way you would admit I’m right and agree to destroy your own work. Are you ill? Did you get bit by something in the forest? What’s wrong with you?”“Nothing is wrong, Stanley, I’ve simply been in quite a few situations in the last few weeks that have forced me to acknowledge my own errors, and what sort of scientist would I be if I could not learn form my own mistakes? Now, I don’t know about you but I’m absolutely freezing, shall we head back to the cabin?”

Stanley nodded his assent and they began to carefully descend the small hill, following their footprints back through the woods.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Stanley asked, “About seeing this place in the summer?”

“Well, I- yes, of course. I mean, I’m sure you have your own life to be getting back to, and I’m very appreciative that you dropped everything so quickly to come help me, but if you maybe wanted to stay after we fix all this, or maybe come to visit, I would not be opposed to the idea.”

Ford stumbled to the side slightly as Stan nudged him with his shoulder. “‘Not opposed to the idea’, calm down there Sixer, don’t want to sound too enthusiastic,” he laughed. He pulled away slightly, withdrawing into his own space. “I’d love to. I’ve missed you, Ford.”

“I miss you too Stan.”

The pair continued walking side by side, retracing their footprints through the deep snow towards the cabin.

One of the many thoughts that had been niggling away in Ford’s brain floated to the surface. “Last night, what was Bill saying that was so bad it warranted taping my mouth shut?”

“Oh, just the usual - ‘you’ll never amount to anything’, ‘everyone thinks you’re a waste of space’, ‘why even bother coming back’. Honestly Sixer, are you sure you made a deal with a demon and it’s not just dear old Pa?” Stan laughed self-depreciatingly.

Ford felt his face fall. “Stan, that’s-” He cut himself off, suddenly aware of how quiet the forest had become. Gone was the birdsong, the rustling of the undergrowth and occasional yelp of gnome, leaving just the crunch of their feet through the snow. “Stanley, when you saw Henry earlier did you bow to him?”

Stan looked at him incredulously. “Why would I bow to a weird deer in the woods? It’s a deer.”

“I expected as much. We should get back as quickly as possible.”“Is something wrong? Is there more weird stuff?”

“Everything is absolutely fine and we are both being very calm about it, but we are walking faster.”

A screech sounded from amongst the trees.

“Actually, we’re running.”

Ford grabbed Stan by the wrist and dragged him after him, weaving through the trees in a much more direct path towards the cabin.

“What- is- happening?” Stan panted behind him.

“Short answer - Henry’s a prideful asshole who’s decided this part of the woods is his territory and doesn’t take kindly to ‘slights’,” Ford yelled back, jumping over a rock, his twin in tow behind him. “Those antlers are very sharp.” He heard the sound of hooves on snow and glanced back to see the stag gaining on them.

“Don’t look back, it slows you down,” Stan shouted, still being partially dragged by Ford.

Ford spun his head back round just in time to see another rock protruding from the snow, catching his ankle and sending him tumbling to the ground, dragging Stanley with him. The two tumbled in a heap of limbs through the thickets until they ran out momentum. Stan was thrown into a tree, his shoulder hitting the trunk with a sickening crunch, while Ford rolled through the snow, using the force to roll onto all-fours. Henry stood above them, its eyes glowing a sickening green. A small hysterical part of Ford’s mind wondered the acidity of the soil as the deer hissed and pawed at the ground, fixing its stance to impale Stanley.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written in 2025 (So Far) (6) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

a day in the life of Dan and Phil's builders (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil's relationship and home through the outside perspective of one of their builders.

and we will put the lonesome on the shelf (ao3) - lavalampsandladydoors

Summary: Dan needs Phil, Phil needs Dan. It seems like the odds are in their favor.

or

Manchester, 2010.

Phil meets a stranger on a bus, but is he fully a stranger after all?

break/mend (ao3) - moonsphilip

Summary: On the way to meet Phil for the first time, Dan buys a little gift. And realizes that material items don't matter all that much when he's with Phil.

bunny (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dan's feeling some type of way after filming "date everything".

Cherry Baby: A Blue Sofa Story (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Phil's new laundry scent reminds Dan of cherries, and reminds them both of an earlier time.

(TW) Dan and Phil Massive Pizza Muckbang 2 (ao3) - nicotinenervosa

Summary: The last thing Dan Howell wanted to do was eat in public but here he was, lights and camera all set up to film a video of him eating for hundreds of thousands of people to see.

drunk in manchester (ao3) - manchestereyes

Summary: Dan finds a postcard addressed to his uni room shortly after the Christmas holidays.

He has no idea who it's from. He really should just throw it away. But something about it makes him want to know more.

duneussy (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil enjoy the evening after Dan’s 33rd birthday livestream ends.

embrace the void (ao3) - elle_oh_ell3

Summary: after the death of his partner, Dan seeks solace in solitude and finds Phil instead.

Error 666 (ao3) - fictitiousponies

Summary: Phil downloads another sketchy game for spooky week

feel it on my skin (ao3) - phovaries (lasagnaboxlesbian)

Summary: princess fiona and her appointed knight dani have a much needed conversation

Flicker (then Flame) (ao3) - husbants

Summary: A stormy night, a couple of candles, and fifteen years of knowing each other a little too well—what could possibly go wrong (or right)?

From the Clouds (ao3) - caitthecrate

Summary: Phil fell.

And fell.

And he kept falling.

More than miles, more than leagues, more than light-years. He was awake, and yet time seemed to stop and speed on simultaneously. Maybe he fell for centuries, maybe he fell for seconds. All he knew was that, by the time he hit solid ground, this was not where he was meant to be.

Hope (ao3) - meepmoopzeepzoop

Summary: it's Christmas eve eve at the lester house and Dan and Phil are watching an episode of Buffy a conversation ensues.

in the light of the water (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Dan and Phil go on a late-night visit to the aquarium while on tour.

Man's Best Friend (ao3) - secretshavepower

Summary: Phil wakes up to his long-time partner of fifteen years having been turned into a furry little friend.

Maybe Someday With You (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: “It’s no fair that of all the infinite parallel universes out there I got stuck in the one where my only choices are being some loser dropout or being a lawyer the rest of my life.”

More than One Way Home (ao3) - Sillylittleroomba

Summary: Phil gets stood up on a blind date.

At least the bartender's cute.

not worth reading (nothing worth writing) (ao3) - Celeste (artificialmac)

Summary: It’s a normal day. Normal by Dan and Phil’s standards, anyway. There are emails to respond to and calls to make; they need to feed themselves, which is always a chore. But that’s really it; nothing particularly exciting or, frankly, worthy of writing about. But the author thinks, perhaps a bit misguidedly, but they think that while grand adventures and convoluted plot twists are all well and good (the author, who the reader must remember has written such stories before and likely will again), the normal, boring days are also worth writing about.

pc4pc (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Dan tells Phil a secret.

Self-Deprecation and Blind Optimism. (ao3) - chainszw

Summary: What happens when you have an arch enemy? Someone who exists to irritate you. Someone so petty and annoying every time you see them you want to knock their teeth out.

What happens when you have a friend so close to you that no one else gets it? Someone who was put on this earth for you. Someone so fun to talk to you think about them all the time.

What happens when it's the same person?

Someone will love me the way that I am (ao3) - trashcanfromgallifrey

Summary: Snippets of their life from 2003, 2010 and 2022. Oh, how the night changes. And oh, how they've been through it.

Spaghetti a la Phan (ao3) - thatsmistertoyou

Summary: Dan and Phil cook their first meal in The Phouse.

Stuffed Animal Hospital (ao3) - imademon

Summary: Dan and Phil's new puppy gets a hold of Dan's childhood teddy bear and uses it as a chew toy. Phil comes up with a plan to fix things.

tmmrw would be nice (ao3) - phovaries (lasagnaboxlesbian)

Summary: dan spills his coffee on the train, but luckily the universe has its way of balancing itself out

we make the rules (ao3) - thatsmistertoyou

Summary: Red had a very simple request for her birthday fic: cherry blossom proposal. And I thought, what about two? (Sorta.)

We Need to Get Off the Sea! (2025) (ao3) - scaryfangirl2001

Summary: May 2025, Philippines

Dan and Phil are stuck on the sea with food poisoning

What Dan and Phil Text Each Other (Leaked) (ao3) - phadsniel (chasingafterstarlight)

Summary: Dan goes on holiday without Phil. He should've known things would go terribly wrong in his absence. (But he's not complaining.)

What Happens in Zante Stays in Zante (But Not Really) (ao3) - httphowell

Summary: Dan and Phil, fresh from their A-Levels, head to Zante with friends Chris and PJ. One wild night, after too many drinks, long-hidden feelings surface and everything changes between them.

[lottiematthewssoulmate]

Jasper info

Name: Jasper

Age: 32

Occupation: Photographer (specializing in travel, candid portraits, and urban exploration)

Personality: Warm, observant, and effortlessly charismatic. Jasper’s got that kind of laid-back charm that makes people open up in front of the lens. He notices the little things — the way light hits a windowpane, or the exact moment someone lets their guard down for a smile. Loves storytelling through visuals more than words.

Style: Vintage-inspired but functional — he never leaves home without comfy sneakers, his lucky penguin satchel (a gift from a past subject who became a friend), and something red for "luck and fire."

Backstory: Jasper's been chasing stories through his camera since his early twenties, starting out as an assistant for fashion shoots in Seoul before branching off on his own. He now roams cities and small towns alike, capturing human moments that speak louder than any caption.

Favorite Treat: Character-shaped strawberry ice cream bars (he says it's about “aesthetic,” but he secretly just loves them).

Fun Fact: Jasper’s photos have been featured in indie travel mags and art galleries — but he’s just as proud of the polaroids covering his fridge at home.

📸 1. Talks to his camera like it’s alive.

“C’mon, don’t freeze now, buddy,” he mutters while adjusting focus. He’s also been known to apologize to it when he drops it.

🧃 2. Obsessed with character-shaped snacks.

Not just the strawberry ice cream — he collects limited edition treats with cartoon faces and takes pictures of them like they’re fashion models. He’s mildly devastated when he has to actually eat them.

🎒 3. His penguin bag has a name.

It’s “Captain Pebbles.” He introduces it to people. As in: “Captain Pebbles and I will be documenting this event.”

💿 4. Retro anime & VHS collector.

He has a soft spot for 80s and 90s anime, especially those with dreamy soundtracks and quiet slice-of-life plots. Owns a working VCR, and is oddly proud of it.

🎧 5. Builds oddly specific playlists.

He has playlists titled “Golden Hour on a Tuesday”, “Candid Laughs in a Foreign City”, and “Walking Home After Spilling Your Secrets to Someone You Trust.” He’ll send them to you unprompted.

📎 6. Always has at least three novelty band-aids in his bag.

He swears they’re just in case — but they’re all cartoon-themed, and he lowkey enjoys offering them to friends like it’s a serious first aid decision.

📖 7. Bad at texting. Great at postcards.

He forgets to reply to texts but will randomly mail you a postcard from a coffee shop he liked, complete with a doodle and a cheesy pun.

🎮 8. Has a small shrine of mini figures on his desk.

From Studio Ghibli to obscure game characters — Jasper loves the ones with big eyes and tiny capes. He gives them voices when he’s bored editing.

🌦 9. Carries a tiny film canister of glitter “just in case.”

When asked what “just in case” means, he says, “In case something unexpectedly becomes magical.”

Voice claim:

[rwpohl]

die verlorene ehre der katharina blum, margarethe von trotta, volker schlöndorff 1975

[jinnaizaemon]

The Fifth Years’ Review Meeting (part 2) [translated]

I ended up translating it today too lol, ginginnn!! And now we're done with these... unless we get new tokuten sometimes soon? Again, part of a set of bonuses given to movie goers. These are illustrations on postcard format with a script at the back. Check the translation tag for the others stories! Again, these take place after the movie, so beware of spoilers for Dokutake Ninja Corps' Strongest Tactician. There's a slight spoiler in the picture itself so it's going behind the cut too.

The Fifth Years’ Review Meeting, part 2

Takeya “Sorry I’m late, Kanemon!”

Kukuchi “Me too, sorry. Have you been waiting long?”

Ohama “Kind of.”

Takeya “And it was me who said us fifth years should do a review meeting. I’m really sorry.”

Ohama “Raizou and Saburou started a review meeting on their own earlier.”

Kukuchi “So you’ve been waiting for us, Kanemon.”

Ohama “What were you even doing, you two?”

Takeya “I was caring for the critters we’re raising at the Biology Committee. I haven’t been able to see them in a while, so I got too happy and lost track of time.”

Ohama “Oh… I see.”

Kukuchi “Me too, I haven’t been able to see my tofu in a while, and got too happy. I finally got to take care o…”

Ohama “Alright, let’s begin the review meeting.”

Takeya “Yeah, let’s.”

Ohama “(If I let him talk, we’ll be stuck listening to him talking about tofu all day…)”

Takeya “Reflecting on what happened, I realize how lacking in strength I still am.”

Kukuchi “Me too. By comparison, our senpai were really amazing.”

Takeya “They were able to successfully infiltrate the fort and rescue Rantarou, Kirimaru and Shinbei.” 

Ohama “Even though they tried to not show it, I know our senpai were quite on edge.”

Kukuchi “I mean, everything hinged on whether we could get Doi-sensei back.”

Takeya “I wonder how helpful we actually ended up being.”

Ohama “There might have been more we could have done.”

Kukuchi “I wonder what our senpai think about us.”

Ohama “Maybe they think that we’re (beep), (boop), or (bzzzt)?”

Takeya “Stop that!”

Tachibana “(He notices them.) You guys.”

Zenpouji “So there you were.” Kukuchi, Ohama, Takeya “Whoa!?”

Kukuchi “U-um… do you need something from us?”

Tachibana “There’s something we forgot to tell you about our last mission.”

Kukuchi, Ohama, Takeya “A-And what could it be?”

Tachibana “You guys did amazing, and you were a great help. Disrupting the enemy, keeping watch, directing the people coming and going… These might seem like boring tasks, but they were crucial and left no room for failure.”

Zenpouji “Moreover, no one was injured. That’s the most important thing.”

Kukuchi, Ohama, Takeya “(Staaares)…”

Tachibana “W-why are you making those faces?”

Ohama “It’s nothing.”

Takeya “Nothing at all.”

Kukuchi “These aren’t tears coming out of my eyes, just tofu water. Nothing to worry about!”

Zenpouji “Heisuke… let’s go to the infirmary, shall we?”

[ggjunkie]

Second Chances

Chapter 2

You’re practically shoveling the scrambled eggs into your face, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. Each bite is exaggerated, the soft, fluffy eggs filling your mouth to the point of discomfort. When you finally chew and swallow, it takes some effort to get it down. The only reason you sometimes ate like this was to really annoy Velvette, as it always grossed her out. Considering how she tried to set you up at the club with a random guy last night, you’d say she deserved it.

Velvette’s disgusted glare burns into you from across the table, but you choose to immerse yourself in your phone, avoiding her gaze. Her reaction is almost immediate, a sharp intake of breath and a muttered complaint about your table manners.

“Do you have to eat like a caveman?” she grumbles, pushing her own plate away slightly as if to distance herself from the sight.

You ignore her, scrolling through your feed with feigned interest. The table is set with two other plates, clearly prepared for her other two roommates. When they didn’t join, you breathed a sigh of relief. Although you can tolerate Vox and his ever-inflated ego, Val is a whole other story. If he weren’t friends with Velvette, you would’ve decked him in his bald face forever ago.

At the thought of Val, your fork scraped against your plate, creating a harsh noise that made you cringe. The grating sound echoed through the room, drawing an annoyed glance from Velvette. You accidentally exited out of the Reddit page on your phone, groaning in frustration—you were halfway through that story! Admittedly, it wasn’t very good, so you instead clicked open your Instagram, hoping for a distraction.

The first photo that greeted you made you choke on your eggs. Your throat constricted, and panic set in as you struggled to breathe. Velvette was quick to react, smacking your back—definitely harder than necessary—until you finally managed to cough up the offending piece of egg.

Gasping for air, you glanced up to see Velvette fixing you with a pitying stare. It would’ve usually made your skin crawl with indignation, but you were too focused on boring holes into your phone screen. 

The first thing on your homepage was your friend’s most recent post. She was posed with a small group of your mutual friends, throwing up a pair of peace signs. Normally, your first instinct would be to instantly heart the post and comment something about how beautiful and gorgeous she looked. Instead, your heart clenched at the sight of your ex standing next to her.

His skin was freshly tan, most likely from their recent trip to the beach if your friend’s previous posts were any indication. The backdrop of the ocean and the warm sunlight bathed everyone in a golden glow, making the scene look like a postcard from a perfect vacation. You scanned the faces in the photo, your eyes inevitably landing on Adam.

Thankfully, he wasn’t pressed up against anyone else in the picture—you didn’t think you could handle it if he was already with someone new. However, that wasn’t what was bothering you. What was bothering you was the fact that he was sporting a wide grin, not a care in the whole world. His smile was radiant, the kind that used to light up your darkest days. Now, it felt like a slap in the face.

You jump, feeling a pressure on your back. You swing your head to see Velvette has moved from her original position to rub between your shoulder blades. The gentle pressure was meant to comfort, but right now, you couldn’t deal with anyone else’s company. The well-meaning touch only heightened your sense of suffocation.

Without a word, you push your chair out, narrowly avoiding hitting Velvette, and rise abruptly from the table. Your phone fumbles in your hands, slipping through your fingers before you practically throw it onto the table. The clatter of the device echoes in the room, punctuating your sudden departure.

Velvette’s mouth opens, possibly to call after you, but you don’t give her the chance. You storm out, each step heavy with pent-up frustration, and slam your bedroom door behind you. The sound reverberates through the apartment, a thunderous punctuation to your emotional upheaval.

A few seconds later, a pound resonates from the wall that separates your room from one of the boys’. It’s an irritated response to the noise, but you don’t care. Fueled by anger and misery, you slam your palm against the wall in return, the impact silencing any further protest.

You throw yourself onto your bed, the familiar comfort of the mattress doing little to soothe your turbulent thoughts. Burying your face into your pillow, you let out a muffled scream.

–

Breakups are hard. Like, really, really hard. Ice cream wasn’t the only remedy for a broken heart, however.

As it turns out, weed works pretty great too.

Velvette’s eyes twinkled mischievously as she presented a pretty pink cart to you. The packaging was almost whimsical, a stark contrast to the bleakness that had enveloped your days. The sight of it made your brain go through a full restart and reboot. It was as if your mind had momentarily crashed, a blue screen taking over before slowly dissipating.

“When—where did you get this?” you stammered, staring at the cart in disbelief.

Velvette laughed, a sound that cut through your gloom like a ray of sunshine. “Been saving it for a rainy day. Figured you could use it now.” With a casual flick of her wrist, she tossed the cart towards you.

You caught it, fingers curling around the delicate design. It was almost too pretty to use, the vibrant colors and intricate patterns making it seem like a small work of art. But the promise of temporary relief was too enticing to resist. “Vel, you’re a lifesaver,” you murmured, feeling a rush of gratitude.

Velvette grinned, leaning back on the couch with a satisfied look. “I know. Now, let’s get you out of that funk.”

An hour later, you’re both curled up together in a blanket. You’ve dug your head under Velvette’s chin, nuzzling into her neck. She’s loosened up, currently giggling at whatever random cartoon she managed to turn on the TV. All you remember is something about gravity and falling before you practically molded yourself against Velvette’s shape, the warmth of her body providing a comforting anchor.

The haze of relaxation and the soft glow of the television create a cocoon of warmth and comfort around you. The world outside the blanket feels distant and unimportant. The THC has blurred the edges of your thoughts, turning them soft and pliable. You can’t really think straight, but you know something is missing. Or someone. And suddenly, Adam’s image melts itself into the back of your eyes. His smile, his laugh, the way he used to hold you—it all comes rushing back, stark and painful against the numbness.

Your heart clenches, and it quickly flashes to the blaring reminder that y’all broke up. The memory of his anger, the hurt in his eyes, and the sound of his voice telling you to leave replay in your mind like a haunting echo. A giant pout forms on your face as your bottom lip juts out involuntarily.

Velvette, sensing the shift in your expression, peels you away from her and studies your face. Her eyes narrow with curiosity, and when she spots the pouting, she bursts into laughter, a light, tinkling sound that contrasts with the heaviness in your chest. You stick your lip out even more dramatically in response, feeling a mix of frustration and helplessness.

“What are you sad about?” she asks, her voice tinged with amusement.

The question makes you giggle uncontrollably, and then suddenly you’re silently cackling, your laughter bubbling up uncontrollably as you slap your knee. The absurdity of it all seems to magnify your amusement. Velvette watches you with a mix of curiosity and disbelief before her own laughter erupts, joining in with yours. She grabs you by the shoulders, her grip surprisingly gentle despite her enthusiasm, and starts shaking you playfully in sync with her bouncing shoulders.

Your laughter echoes around the room, the sound mingling with the background noise of the TV. You feel a warm, comforting haze of joy and contentment, the kind that only comes when you’re so high you forget your problems and just enjoy the moment.

In the midst of this, you feel your phone buzz on the couch’s end table. You reach over Velvette with a bit of a struggle, your movements clumsy and exaggerated. It takes you a few tries, your hand missing the phone more than once as you fumble around. Eventually, you manage to grab it, your fingers closing around the device with a satisfying click.

You curl up, bringing your knees to your chest and holding your phone as close to your face as you can without seeing double. The screen is a bright blur of colors and notifications, but you squint through the haze to see who’s reaching out to you.

You find yourself unlocking your phone and clicking on Instagram, your fingers moving almost instinctively. The app opens straight to the search tab, and before you fully process what you’re doing, Adam’s Instagram page is pulled up. A pang of guilt hits you for breaking your own promise not to check his page, but curiosity has already won.

Your eyes are drawn immediately to his bio, and you freeze. Even when you were together, Adam had always kept his bio blank. He would brush off questions about it with a shrug, claiming he never had the desire or inspiration to write a blurb. It was one of those little quirks of his you’d gotten used to, an odd but endearing part of him.

So why does he have someone tagged?

Somewhere in the back of your brain, there’s a flicker of recognition at the Instagram handle, but your hazy state makes it difficult to fully grasp. You circle your thumb around the handle, clicking on it with a sense of detached curiosity. The screen redirects you to someone else’s page, and suddenly, the phone feels like it’s slipping out of your grasp. It tumbles to the floor with a soft thud, the impact snapping you back to reality.

Your lip begins to wobble uncontrollably, and before you know it, you’re feeling warmth spreading across your cheeks. Your hand comes up slowly, almost as if in a daze, and you pull it away to find it glistening with fresh tears. The reality of the situation hits you like a ton of bricks, and the tears start to flow more freely.

Velvette, who had been laughing and enjoying the moment with you, immediately notices the shift in your mood. Her eyes widen with concern as she takes in the sight of your tear-streaked face. She scrambles to her feet, moving quickly to your side. Her usual composure is replaced by frantic energy as she kneels beside you, her hands reaching out to comfort you.

“What’s wrong? Did you smoke too much? Oh god, it’s been forever since you last smoked—of course you smoked too much! I swear—”

You cut her off, your voice barely more than a ragged whisper. “Why does he have Eve tagged?”

Velvette’s frantic movement halts abruptly. Her eyes widen in confusion as she tilts her head. “What?”

You point a trembling finger towards your phone, which is still lying on the floor where it fell. “Adam has his ex tagged in his Instagram bio.”

Velvette’s frown deepens as she processes your words. She carefully pulls you into a tight hug, her arms enveloping you in a firm, comforting embrace. The warmth of her body against yours is both grounding and soothing.

As you bury your face in her shoulder, you can feel the truth settle over you, as if her embrace has confirmed what you feared.

[littencloud9]

since you want more kunichuu: 2, 6 & 11 for the ask + your fluffiest & silliest hcs for them <3

hehehe HELLO!!

2. What their love letters look like

so fucking cheesy it is disgusting. i like to think chuuya mails kunikida letters along with the random gifts he sends him like: hi pretty boy <3 these are for you! hope work is going well xoxo. and then kunikida reuses those letters by turning them into flowers or something similar and gifting them to chuuya when they get home

6. How they decorated their bedroom

chuuya being a neat hoarder is important to me. their bedroom has so much clutter. it drove kunikida a little crazy at first but then he got used to it and started adding even more things. they’re both sentimental losers so lots of photos and mementos (movie tickets, keychains, postcards etc). also kunikida gifted chuuya a tiny dog plushie and it sits on their massive bed, tucked in every morning

11. What their first impression was of each other

kunikida: mafia executive nakahara chuuya. i need to be wary of him. he is, as i’ve heard, feisty and feral and has a huge temper and. oh, he’s smiling. he’s kind of cute. NO—

chuuya: stuck-up. boring. agency’s second in command. tf is he so tall for. dazai’s new partner UGH whatever. i dont even care— why the HELL did he just blow up!!!! …why was that kind of cool. fuck????

aaand have some pre-dating but definitely pining hcs because i am WEAK!!

chuuya had that childish urge to tug on kunikida’s ponytail one (1) time. yes they gave in. no they didn’t regret it

kunikida HATES that kenji and chuuya get along so well. until he saw chuuya genuinely laughing with kenji, to which he dropped his pen over it and it stopped working forever

neither of them are very touchy before dating, but it is noted that they shake hands after joint meetings a little longer than necessary

kunikida had a nose piercing that closed up and when chuuya found out they got stars in their eyes

chuuya didn’t know how to deal with his feelings at first. cue to a LOT of pacing on the ceiling and cursing kunikida out

after the initial disapproval, kunikida gained a lot of respect for chuuya and speaks of them highly. in a Purely Civil And Work-Appropriate Way of course

they went to karaoke for whatever reason with some other characters. chuuya sang a romantic rock ballad while looking straight into his eyes and kunikida had to leave the room

chuuya, after a meeting: of course, pretty boy. see you next time [insert cool wave and wink]

chuuya, the moment kunikida is out of sight: ?;!;!;&(!&.:!;& WHY DID I SAY THAT

kunikida is terrible at understanding pick up lines. chuuya thought he was just rejecting him really nicely. until they start dating and they brought it up and kunikida is like ?? you were FLIRTING?? and chuuya’s like ?? YOU COULDN’T TELL???

i dont know how to end this so last one: chuuya offhandedly mentions some complicated math equation he does for his ability to work and kunikida falls in love

[neonscandal]

Can I ask from this ask game : https://www.tumblr.com/toomanyfandomsthings/749729499738996736/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-tell-you?source=share

No. 2, 10, 11, 12, 15 for SatoSugu, BakuDeku, AshEiji and MatchaBlossom.....Thanks 🌻

Hello, friend 🧡 I love asks like these because I have to put so much more creative thought into them haha so thank you for asking. 🌻 I also love the idea that we don't need to know who the best cook is because it's very apparent in all of these ships 😂

What their love letters look like: Selfies. Constant selfies. Mission selfies. Bored between mission selfies. Words aren't always needed but every pic has an implied "I'm still here, we're still The Strongest."

What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other: Gojo is so incredibly lacking in self awareness that he is impervious to the idea that anything he watches is at all embarrassing. They watch The Great British Bake-Off together and Gojo always loudly laments when the objective involves something savory instead of sweet.

What their first impression was of each other: Gojo thought "Bangs." Geto thought "The audacity of this guy."

What they would change about each other: Gojo wouldn't change a thing, even the things that might feel a bit irksome, things work the way they are and he's happy, so happy. Geto has a laundry list of things he wish he could change: Gojo's feral gremlin energy, his constant sweet tooth, the brash way he speaks which always embarrasses Geto but he accepts these things, too. He likes to pull them out in a fight though (in jest).

What their love letters look like: Twin. Merch. Midoriya would give Bakugo the last of some exclusive All Might merch even though it would pain him. Bakugo would go to the ends of the earth to make sure Midoriya wouldn't go without.

What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other: Hero documentaries, biopics and, of course, the midnight release of any new All Might movies. Bakugo hides that he is also a Real Heroes of Musutafu trash reality tv watcher. 👀 As nosy as he is, its a guilty pleasure.. but not a secret he keeps well.

What their first impression was of each other: Midoriya was timid and reserved and Bakugo was loud and a bit abrasive so, despite being rough around the edges, Midoriya knew immediately "Kacchan sugoi!". Bakugo wanted Midoriya to be an extra so. bad. He was the only person bold enough to also want to be All Might when they played Heroes vs Villains on the playground and, while that initially grated him, over time it won him over. Man, was that short lived.

What they would change about each other: They both find one another to be self-sacrificial idiots but are completely incapable of seeing how that's just another one of their similarities. Bakugo also wishes Midoriya could be less of an insufferable fanboy but only because he, himself, could never be so brave to be so aggressively different or outside of the norm.

What their love letters look like: Postcards, handwritten letters, tokens of their travels both far and wide. Just the bread crumbs they leave and scatter for one another until they can unite once more. Eiji scrapbooks them but he'd never tell Ash.

What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other: They're always behind when it comes to cult classic shows. But they really enjoy Stranger Things. I think Ash, in particular, has a soft spot for Joyce Byers but he'd never say that out loud. Eiji also suspiciously watches the evolution of Steve Harrington's hair as Ash's mysteriously changes in tandem. Eiji would never tell Ash about any of the anime he watches whenever he has some alone time. Ash already accuses him of being more interested in the comics than the news, he would never hear the end of it. But he's super pumped about the Blue Lock movie and rationalizes that it's basically like watching football on Sunday when he's inevitably caught binging the anime ahead of the cinematic release.

What their first impression was of each other: They were both intrigued by one anothers' fearlessness. Eiji never shied away from the big, bad gang leader. Ash was a beacon of nonchalant confidence when Eiji was at a point of listlessness and self doubt. They were both intrigued.

What they would change about each other: Eiji would change Ash's.. morning disposition in a heartbeat. Something about having to fight someone just to get them out of bed is so unnerving, especially as their breakfast gets cold in the interim. Ash, on the other hand, wouldn't change a thing. There's a very delicate balance between them that enables him to tease Eiji about absolutely everything. Why risk jeopardizing that??

What their love letters look like: Lighthearted challenges to determine innocuous things between them. "First person to the couch gets to pick the movie!" "Bet you I can piss Shadow off first!" Just little competitions to keep things interesting because they are nothing if not extraordinary and have a constant need to prove that to one another.

What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other: Joe is really passionate about cooking and competitive so he loves watching Hell's Kitchen and Iron Chef and telling Kaoru how he'd dominate on either show. Kaoru huffs and rolls his eyes half-heartedly but also has a massive crush on Mark Dacascos having been a captive audience for several seasons of Iron Chef (who wouldn't?) so he allows these selfish preferences. Also, when they're fighting, he wonders if Gordon Ramsay could, in fact, make Joe cry. Joe insists he could not.

What their first impression was of each other: Joe was a goodie two shoes who happened to be able to hold his own on a skateboard but Kaoru thought he was a bit too bashful, a bit too reserved. Kaoru was a rebel and an artist on a board before Carla took the guesswork out of everything. Even so, Joe was awe-inspired by the Cherry, the spitfire.

What they would change about each other: Kaoru wishes Joe wasn't such a needy gorilla aka that he wasn't so showy and drawing the attention of fan girls and boys alike because he gets a bit jealous. Like, "yes, you're hot. That's why we're dating now put your shirt back on, people are staring, you dolt." Somehow it never comes out that straightforward though. Re: Joe, it's infrequent but sometimes Joe wishes Kaoru would return his affection in similar measure, just as loud and proud. Even though he thinks that'd be nice, he can't help but relish in those isolated moments where Kaoru, in his own way, demonstrates his affection. Those moments where the stars align just so, the wind blows in just the right direction and all of Kaoru's walls crumble. He wears a smile so warm, so genuine that Joe thinks it is worth all the banter in between such moments.

[oceannocturne]

Robin Vol. 1: Reborn PART 1/?

This volume starts with Detective Comics #618, published in July of 1990. And it starts off STRONG, with a picture of Jason's Robin memorial and the text "When Gotham needed him, he was there. When the Batman needed him, he was there. He was a hero."

According to a quick Wiki search, the comics where Jason died came out at the end of 1988. So by now, at least in real time, Jason has been dead for a year and a half. RIP.

Tim has clearly got the hero worship down bad. So 1 point to fanon on this one!

Unfortunately he is quickly pulled out of his reverie by A Case. The Batcomputer starts beeping - they've found Him! And by Him I mean...Someone. Presumably a Bad Guy. Something something bank robbery, something something security guard...the usual. Batman runs out to follow this lead, leaving Tim behind in the Cave.

Cut to a black man praying to voodoo gods in front of a locked closet and a skull. I'm sure nothing bad will come of this!

His kid tries to sneak a peak with a full on news camera and is somehow surprised when he gets caught.

(Last time I saw a camera like that was the 9/11 museum)

His dad is so angry it triggers an asthma attack - oh no! What's a man to do?

...smoke about it, apparently. Because that makes sense.

Ok this is only like 3 pages in we gotta keep it moving.

Tim gets a postcard from his parents! Yay! ...ish. They've travelled to another country, moved their return date, and then to top it all off Bruce decides the best approach is to gaslight him into thinking this is perfectly justified behavior.

Oof.

Fanon gets another point for the Drakes constantly changing travel plans, and another point for them fighting to the point of Tim being glad they're out of his hair.

We cut to the Drakes doing the two things they love best: travelling, and making everyone around them uncomfortable with their constant arguing.

Pour one out for Jeremy.

It seems that the Drakes are perfectly comfortable using civil and political unrest to profit. Well, Jack is, at least - though if Janet's only issue is that "voodoo and free market capitalism just do not mix" (what a line), then it seems she objects less out of morals and more out of practicality. Unfortunately for them both, Janet is right.

Someone on the island below radios up to the pilot and coerces him into landing the plane by threatening his eyes via voodoo-doll. It's The Obeah Man! *gasp* This neatly demonstrates the point that voodoo (The Obeah Man) easily overcomes free-market capitalism (however much the Drakes are paying this poor pilot to fly them around).

(I cannot get over that line).

And then, two pages later, we get yet another fantastic line from Mrs. Janet Drake:

"Jeremy, tell Mr. Drake that Obeah is a voodoo word meaning black magic."

!!!

The pettiness! The snootiness! The know-it-all-ness! Your honor I love her. I can just so easily imagine Tim with YJ and Kon being like 'oh shit that meteor's going to hit us' and Tim being like 'actually that asteroid is going to hit us,' then Kon giving him a look and Tim being like *Jake Peralta voice* "fine I was being a bitch again!"

Y'all I cannot tell you how much I love this. For this moment alone I'm going to award fanon 2 points for the idea of Tim taking after Janet rather than Jack.

And after that incredible high, we're back to the boring Batman stuff. Batman is out looking for the briefly aforementioned bank security guard and finds him surrounded by some n'er-do-wells ("Willy the Hat" and his gang, apparently) who are pissed he stole something from their own bank vault. Batman saves the guy from getting his ass absolutely handed to him - using such elite, esoteric moves as "shove guy's hat over his eyes then hit him real hard."

This is why people stopped wearing hats.

Back to the Drakes! Jack unfortunately has no Batman to stop him from getting his ass beat - or, in this case, nose.

I don't know a lot about pistol-whipping but this doesn't look right. This looks like a clown getting bonked on the nose. The comic can tell me "WAK!" all it wants but all I hear is "HONK!"

The one silver-lining is that Janet is worried enough to actually talk to Jack directly, giving poor Jeremy a break, and they share a moment about how this dangerous situation is bringing them closer together, awwww.

A bunch of islanders (Haitians???) push the plane off a cliff to make it look like it crashed; the pilot is thanked for his cooperation than shot; and Jack, Janet, and Jeremy are escorted to a shack in front of a small volcano while they try to convince themselves they won't be next to die.

Back in the Batcave, Tim shows a recently-returned Bruce the techno-trap he whipped up for their bank robber problem.

Look at him, he's so proud of himself!

Tim decides to reward himself with the Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes reruns (neeeerd), because it is, and I quote, "education through entertainment" (NEEEEEERD)

But uh-oh, what's this?? Breaking news!

Well, shit.

Tim starts to spiral, apparently already convinced that his parents are dead. Bruce tries to help him calm down by pointing out any number of possible alternatives, and Alfred rushes down, apparently having seen the same newscast upstairs.

They're all interrupted by MORE beeping from the Batcomputer - it's the bank thief!

Bruce tells Alfred to "take care of" Tim, then yeets himself at the computer to try to pull a digital pursuit on the thief, who has the cajones to steal from Wayne Enterprises using a code Bruce himself set. Alfred picks up where Bruce left off with some very good words of wisdom:

"Never fear the worst until it actually happens. Be strong. Be patient."

The bank thief gets away with a final message:

Bruce realizes he's been got and turns back to Tim, ready to get back to comforting Tim, but Tim very normally and calmly goes upstairs, definitely not avoiding his Big Feelings. Bruce wants to go after him but Alfred one-shots him into staying put.

Look at those sad bat-eyes!

(Why does his background go from red to yellow? Unclear)

And we end with Tim brooding at the night, reminding himself to be patient and strong.

Yes, bud, heroes cry. Everyone cries. Just like everyone poops, everyone also cries.

Another point to fanon for Tim being repressed.

Final fanon score: 6

Bruce's Batdad-o-meter: 7 (points for comforting Tim and clearly caring; negative points for foisting him off on Alfred when he thinks his parents are dead, and for lite gaslighting about the postcard thing)