#brb running to your inbox RIGHT NOW

[alltimefail-sims]

OKAY SO LITTLE UPDATE AND SCATTERED THOUGHTS ON THE NEW EP

It turns out that removing 95% of your mods will improve the game's overall ability to run. Not shocking, but it's definitely a thing lol. I've also learned that some mods, while amazing conceptually, will probably not be added back into my game. This isn't on the modders: some mods are just so complex that I honestly can't keep up with them and therefore can't enjoy their features to the full extent. I do miss my custom recipes, wonderful whims, and a few lumpinou mods though (but that's really it so far).

I also removed all my custom sliders because I have no idea what is broken and what isn't at this point. Shocked to say I don't miss most of them, so I think it might be time I clean that folder out. I did, however, miss my presets!!! Especially body and mouth presets! Likely gonna tidy up those folders and then add those back in.

Kijiko eyelash remover seems to be working perfectly fine in my game, so if you use that one you are probably good to go.

The new pack's CAS items are good! I don't think I'm going to use a lot of it outside of sims in Tomarang, but that's okay. As of right now I am not planning to do an in-depth review of the CAS items because I pretty much just feel "fine" about all of it across the board: I don't hate anything but I'm not absolutely in love with anything either. Idk if I'm just feeling this way or if others are as well, but it seems like a lot of the items (especially the hairs) aren't really new and they're just modifications of things we already have... but that could be just me. I will say the cute dress with the slit up the side... chef's kiss. Needed more swatches though!

One unexpected item that I did love was the tea kettle!! I'm never buying a tea magic brewer or tea pot ever again. I never realized how badly I needed the ability to only make one cup of a tea/hot chocolate/coffee at time but it has been a game changer. I don't have much to say about the build/buy... it's all really nice. 🤷‍♀️ Wish there were more items that really stood out, but for the most part it's all just good, simple pieces with a few beautiful wall hangings (nice posters, a few good plants, love the baskets, standing toilet is a nice addition, adore the plastic garden chairs, etc.). Functional radiators, water tanks, etc. were fantastic additions with this pack and I would have been happy if they were just decor tbh (and was expecting them to be) but the fact that they aren't makes me very happy. Compatibility across packs is done far too rarely, so I'll let the sims team have this one crumb of a win.

I'm still testing this pack out so gameplay features are being dicovered bit by bit. Haven't ran into some of the big bugs people have been having, but I'm still early in the save and playing as a tenant (I stand by the fact that I have 0 interest being a property owner). The tester sim I made (Riley, she/they) vibed so hard with Vanesha Cahyaputri. Like the two of them have "amazing compatibility" and had full bar friendship almost instantly and I did not make Riley with any partner in mind... I didn't even know Vanesha was a canon lesbian! But they haven't had a single negative interaction soooo brb I'm on my way to make her over ASAP because I loooooovee a good sapphic friends to lovers arc. 😂

Lastly: I have some asks in my inbox. I swear I'm not ignoring you if you've messaged me, it's just been a chaotic few days as December is always so busy. I will answer them as soon as I can! Until the holidays are over I'll probably be posting sporadically! I'm still going to be here, but I'm enjoying just playing the game without any pressure to post about it.

Also, with updates breaking cc and sliders like crazy, it's unlikely I'll be sharing any sims outside of sim requests for a while. I'll still crank out builds, happily chat about my OCs, and reblog other people's content on here. For now I plan to just enjoy my time with my family and play the game stress free! ❤

Okay bye now!

[daisynik7]

NIKKI your theme is so cute 🥹🥹

THANK YOU MY LOVE. ♥️ I appreciate you as always!

brb running over to your inbox right now to marvel and gush about your new theme because OH MY GOD 🤩

[delilahprofitt]

Sorry I'm basically blowing up your inbox today 👉👈

I know a few of the Mrod blogs on here were femslashy. Especially when she was dating Cara. If it wasn't about them, it was about Rain and Alice or Luz and Miss San Antonio. The het stuff definitely dominated though and it was definitely Vin's fault. Part of me is now morbidly curious about that poetry

Ahhh I have a rant locked and loaded for the majority of Mrod's movies. That outfit was terrible! I HATE when writers think motherhood has to completely soften and suck the personality out of character. It's always a blouse or a cardigan I swear to god. It's not a big surprise that female characters in a series about zooming cars around get the short end of the stick but that doesn't make it any less annoying. Elena having Dom's baby instead of Letty is one of the less stupid decisions imo. I'll have to skim back through F9 again to get my thoughts all back in order brb with that full rant. Fuck Hobbs and Shaw why can't we have a true Letty and Mia focused flick!!

Yeeessshh no worries. I was born the year Girlfight came out ✌️ Talk about Frank's cock all you want

That clothing line would be a problem for my wallet I'm not sure it could handle. The interviews were generally a little painful but I must have watched most of them anyway

The nice thing about the Resident Evil series is that most of the fandom now is femslash because Alice has homoerotic tension with at least one character in every movie. There's a part in the third film where she blatantly checks out Claire Redfield's ass when she walks away and she runs across a room to pet Rain's hair to comfort her in the first one. Quality cinema

don't you dare apologize!! i'm hanging on the telephone. i never realized how much tumblr asks could resemble my preferred method of communication (long rambling emails) and i've had a hard time getting people irl to do that instead of just texting me :/

the mrod poems were written by "bryan s. coe" (who i just googled and discovered is perhaps a digital marketing strategist in detroit these days). the two i still have links to are titled "poem to a hottie on a zip line" and "euphemistic poem to a woman with sub-machine gun" and are about nikki from breed and chris from s.w.a.t. respectively. i feel this stanza from the second one needs to be shared:

while everyone takes cover and protects their body i spy around the corner and see a special weapons hottie those sure are some special "weapons," wouldn't you say kind of appropriate that s.w.a.t. ends with a t and an a!

and it goes on in that vein. extensively. i mean, come on, dude. the meter is all off!! you need to cut "and see" from the second line and "that" from the fourth. also that is a very liberal definition of "euphemistic"

i like the idea of just generally defining time in mrod movies. *guy living in a dystopian future where that's all that remains of our civilization voice* "yeah my great great grandmother was born the year girlfight came out"

personally i thought i got blue crush but that's 2002 :/

i agree that they were right not to knock letty up. the only tragic part is i think she's probably too old to play pregnant now and i would have liked to see that just as fuel for some letty/mia fantasies :(( i can't even imagine what they would have dressed her in. considering you would think mia's 75% sundress wardrobe would be pretty transferable to maternity clothes and they still put her in that ruffled yellow abomination

i kind of wish it hadn't even been dom's kid though. like wouldn't that have been more in keeping with the family-goes-beyond-blood thing? dom could have still done all that crazy crap to rescue elena and her baby. i also hate elena dying. i really did not like fate of the furious in general and it didn't have mia so what was the point anyway. i kind of recognize that objectively f9 might have been the nadir of the franchise but it gave us letty and mia's tokyo dinner date so i'll always love it

also mia going in for the hug just grinning like hey! letty! it's great to see you! and then it cuts to letty, like, closing her eyes and huffing the scent of her hair. baby this is why in my head you've been hung up on her for decades

they need to do a mia & letty spinoff and i feel like there's no way it's actually going to happen. vin's too much of an egotist he would shove himself in there to present himself as the king of feminism or something and then the movie would just be his big dumb head like always. i'm holding out hope they'll kill him in the last movie for pathos but it's probably in his contract that they aren't allowed to

last note on f9 is that i love how after all that backpatting for finally having the gals share a scene it STILL doesn't pass the bechdel test because they exclusively talk about han, brian, jacob, dom, and little brian in that order. i do like when mia says "you'll always be my sister." i hope letty got off to that furiously and guiltily in the shower and then cried

don't even get me started on how the franchise butchers mia. my whole ao3 presence is basically a 750,000-word manifesto on how badly i think they screwed her over. i'm not even asking for that much but just let her be a fucking doctor you'd think with eleven million bucks she could afford to go to med school

[babyybitchhh]

hello. i am back. with more thoughts. i am very sorry hfhfhr but 😩😩😩 genshin men happening upon you masturbating?? esp to thoughts of them?? Diluc's so flustered and caught off guard but he's more than happy to assist. Childe would pounce you on the spot without wasting a second, Kaeya would endlessly tease and lovingly mock you before assisting, and Ayato… Well guess he has to show you how to everrrything doesn't he? And then very sweet Thoma will immediately assist you, doesn't matter if it's not really in the job description, he loves to serve and assist you... Ok you can throw me out now i'm sorry

ahem. always a favourite trope for me to think about. i never get sick of writing these ones fdgnkjbngfkj. if anyone would like to ask about any of the boys who did not make it into this little post, please feel free . . . i just didnt wanna make it too long fgbkjngknfj.

cw; afab reader, no pronouns. not sfw, minors dni. being caught masturbating. characters included: diluc, childe, kaeya, ayato, thoma.

Diluc doesn't know what to do at first. He's been taught to be a polite young gentleman, always; and the proper thing to do would be to turn on his heel and immediately leave the room, perhaps even before you've noticed he's slipped in. But you're . . . just so lovely. He promises himself it will just be a moment; for him to observe the sheen of sweat on your forehead and the flash of your bare thigh - but then, your fingers move just so and your teeth bite into your bottom lip and you sigh out, in a soft voice that has him achingly hard in his trousers; "M-Master Diluc--", and how is he supposed to resist that?

Your door closes and you start, all big frightened eyes at being caught, already trying to stutter out apologies for being so forward - and honestly, seeing you also flustered soothes him a little. Reminds him that for as pretty as you look and for how much he wants you, you are just a mortal too. He smiles at you, his face flushed, hides a cough behind a gloved hand.

"I heard you calling my name," he says, his wine-dark eyes travelling over your bared skin in a way that's nervous but appreciative. "I . . . ahem. Do you, by any chance, require some assistance? I've been told I'm . . . rather good with my hands."

Childe, indeed, doesn't waste a second more than it takes for him to parse exactly what's going on. He hears his name fall from your lips at the same time as your hips stroke upwards in rhythm with the way you're toying with your clit, and he's on you like a jaguar in search of prey. He's been flirting with you since the moment he met you, and he's certainly made a note of all the sexual tension - tried to push it further and make you break. He does wonder how many times you've done this - how could you be so silly, when he's been happy to give you a helping hand all of this time? Childe is dangerous, and you barely even notice he's moved before a hand is fastening around your wrist and pinning it beside your head.

"You don't seem to be getting very far with that!" He says, grinning down at you, wild, hungry light making his blue eyes seem to glow even brighter in the low light of the bedroom. The hand not holding your wrist down travels down your collarbone; strokes over your bared breast, the feel of his gloves on your sweat-slicked skin making you shiver as he tauntingly stops at the apex of your thighs. "Need some help? All you have to do is ask, you know!"

Kaeya stumbles across it quite by accident, but despite the Cavalry Captain's current lack of equine companionship, he's still never been the kind to look a gift horse in the mouth. You're trying so hard to hide it the minute you see him, your pretty face all screwed up in horror, the title 'Sir Kaeya--' dying on your lips . . . Kaeya simply closes the door and walks towards you, a smirk on his unfairly handsome face.

"You said my name," he says, in a dangerously excited tone. "Did you need me for something?" Your hands are still trapped between your thighs, and you squeak as he takes an overly casual seat on the bed next to you and stretches out his arms as if nothing is wrong. "You know that I'm always willing to lend an ear when you need to talk, sweetheart! You don't need to whisper it or be ashamed . . ."

He's made it very clear, in his way, that he's more than willing to take an active part in what you're doing - delights in the little shiver that runs through you when he rolls the pet name around on his tongue. But Kaeya wants to tease you. Kaeya loves having the control.

Kaeya isn't going to actually help until you admit to him that you want him.

And then, after that . . . well. Suffice to say that next time you whimper out Kaeya's name, it will quickly be muffled by his hungry lips upon your own.

Ayato knows everything that happens in the Kamisato estate - and, unfortunately for you, that does include the times you've muffled your cries of his name into your pillow with two fingers inside of you and frustration that it's not the Commissioner himself pounding you into the mattress. But Ayato also enjoys biding his time - making you desperate for him. Standing a little closer to you, smiling a little darker with half-lidded eyes, dropping his voice just a shade lower until you're practically having to stop your thighs quaking in want.

It's after one of those times that he follows you to your little bedroom; at a distance, naturally. Shoos away anybody who wants to follow him or know where he's going; he's simply seeing a . . . private interest of his through to the end, that's all. He's right outside your door when he hears your breath hitch, the whimper of his title . . . and that's the time he chooses to sweep into the room.

He doesn't give you time to try and hide yourself. He doesn't give you time to do anything before he's got you caged beneath him, smiling that inscrutably polite but terribly hungry smile.

"I think this is the fourth time this week you've touched yourself to thoughts of me," he's practically purring in your ear, staring down at you, watching you squirm as you try and desperately think of an apology that will get you off the hook for your wholly inappropriate behaviour. You're utterly mystified when, instead of immediately dismissing you, he simply continues to smile. "Go on, then," he says, amused. "Why don't you tell me what you were thinking of me doing to you? Hmm. If I like it enough, perhaps we can even see about translating your little fantasies to real life."

Thoma is service-oriented above all things. And it's not like he hasn't fantasised about you! Quietly. On his own. Hoping nobody finds out. So finding you touching yourself with his name on his lips feels like a dream dropped directly into his lap - what you have done, to the Fixer of Inazuma, is dropped a problem right into his lap.

You want to be touched. You want to come. You want him.

And what is Thoma, if he can't fix three such little problems?

He asks, of course! Says your name, all bright and excited so you don't get the wrong idea, and immediately follows it up with; "I can do that for you. Don't tire yourself out!"

Thoma is straightforward about that; dropping onto his knees, looking up at you with eager puppy dog eyes as he kisses your thighs and shuffles forward and waits for permission to be able to touch his mouth to your most intimate part, his heart beating loud in his chest because he can't believe he gets to help you this way, finally. Thoma only has one request.

Kiss. Suck. Lick. Quietly, his breath hot against your own slick core, Thoma murmurs;

". . . Will you say my name again?"

[onlyswan]

GODDAMN IT ARTEMIS HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME FEEL THINGS LIKE THAT AFTER THAT LAST DRABBLE!

i am such a sucker for domestic fluff and the way you capture not just jungkook’s personality, but the also realities of being in a relationship so perfectly makes me so happy. although i’ve been a long time reader, i’ve been too shy to say anything and im sorry ;( but i’ve read and re-read every drabble in the in which series and they honestly make me feel so at home.

my favourite part from the most recent drabble has to be:

"you're so beautiful." he thinks out loud, ‘lovestruck' written all over his softened features. i wish there's a better word for it. ehh, uhh, there probably is but..”

his forehead creases as he exerts mental power to flip through his dictionary, eyeballs pointing in different directions as if he will read the word somewhere on the walls.

“but i can't think of one right now... my brain isn't working."

the compliment told dreamily makes your fragile heart beat louder inside your ribcage. concealing a flattered smile, you shake your head in disbelief.

“you think changing the topic like this will work?"

the water sloshes around as you inch closer, running the cloth over his shoulders and across his collarbones.

" i mean it." he replies firmly, hands sneaking in to caress the sides of your waist, fingertips grazing your skin to trace amorphous drawings. “i didn't always get the chance to look at you... like take my time and, really look at you. i hate that."

something about this moment right here makes my heart flutter, even if it’s not the most poetic part of the drabble. jk’s unfiltered love for o/c coming out in just a couple of words and longing gazes seriously brings tears to my eyes. nothing over the top, or too complicated just some simple, good ol fashioned loving.

i did not mean for this to be as long as it is lol, it’s just really easy to praise your works. i love your writing, and i love you. keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing amazing :)

HEHEHE 🤭 MY WRITING MAKING YOU CURSE IS SO SATISFYING LOL the goal is always to make you feel things :P

thank you so much anonie! i totally understand why you’d feel shy but i’m happy you finally slid into my inbox with this 🥺 you seem so sweet and lovely i appreciate you tons <3

AHHHH i love this part too. imagining and writing it made me so >:((( i want to squish him so bad

jk’s unfiltered love for o/c coming out in just a couple of words and longing gazes seriously brings tears to my eyes.

damn it now i’m also emotional </3 screaming into my pillow brb

long messages talking about a drabble is always my favorite so we good 🥹 it truly means a lot to me to know what you think! makes all the effort worth it and motivates me to execute other ideas <3 i love youuuu and i hope you have a great week ahead 🫂

[snobgoblin]

You tend to mention 14 year old you more often.

If you could tell your 14 year old self something what would you tell them?

ah shit man that's deep 😭

i think I'd tell them a few things. like, those people you thought were bad? you were right. they betrayed you. but it's okay, because you have people that love you. it all works out.

I might tell them to wise up and mature but I don't think they would understand what that even meant. really they were kinda dumb and the only way to undumb was to live and to learn yanno

andd probably let them know that they're not weird, they're not a monster, they're not crazy, they're just mentally ill. and that's okay. and not to worry about being bullied for the way they dress because they got bullied either way so they should've just done what they wanted to.

but. as much as 14 year old me was an annoying little snot nosed brat, they really were going through a lot and I'm proud of them for staying strong. I'm proud of them for doing their best, for giving their all to everyone even when it hurt. they were just learning. they were just a kid. and they made mistakes. but even when life really fucking sucked they kept going, and we're still alive. I guess maybe I'd just say "you're a lot dumber than you think you are but I'm proud of you for trying anyway, keep it up and dont be so scared of everything"

yeah ;-; brb running to your inbox now

[shidiand]

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

[krystelprado]

OUR BAD DAYS. 💔 Relationships aren't perfect, there will always be bad days. And we cannot exempt ours from the rest. Many of our friends would say, "Since you two got back, seems that you're always in good terms." Or, "You two are so sweet, do you even fight?" And others would even dare to say, "You two are perfect." - thank you for all those kind words and appreciation, but we'd like to let you know, we're human. We're not perfect, we fight and sometimes would hurt each others feelings over petty things. But here's what something I can share whenever we're on our bad days. Petty fights. -We had LOTS of this. Actually, most of the time, the cause of our fights are over petty things. Thing about petty fights is that, this kind of fight can be caught and resolved easily. Once we started arguing over something petty, one will always initiate to shut up and let the other talk. That person is me. Once you start arguing with RJ and he really thinks that he's on point (which sometimes, he's not! That's basically why we would start arguing.), he won't stop raising his opinions and won't even let you talk. So, I shut up. When I say shut up, I would literally treat him like he's not around and no one's talking. During my silence, I act like I'm not listening, but the truth is, I'm hearing every words he say and would mentally put questions in bullet forms in every statement he said and in every point he raise. You'll know when he's done because he'll start making lambing and would start talking to you like there's nothing happened. He would ALWAYS start it this way, *he'll hold my waist or hands or would look at me in the eye* "Baby, ba't tahimik kana?" Little did he know that, him asking me that is my cue to start my side of argument. I just don't normally talk to him, I sometimes give him my resting bitch face and would start asking him all the questions I've come up while in time out. And ALWAYS, his answers to my questions will only be , "Oo na lage baby. Oo na. Mali na ako. Oh, tama kana." Or, "Sssshhh... oh na babe, oh na." And my favorite of all, "Opo. Di nata mag away. Ssshh na.." 😂 Krystel - 1 RJ - 0 Late replies. -I, particualrly, hate late replies. Who wouldn't hate it by the way?! This can fall into "petty fights" but I'd like to explain something about this. Okay. Let me get this straight, RJ replies fast. Really. It's just that sometimes, I'm impatient. Especially whenever we're txting and sometimes he'd say, "baby, brb. I'll have to do this blah blah.." First 10mins I'd totally be fine but whenever it would take more than that, I start to evolve into something inhuman. 😂 So, thing about me, I'd flood him short and kind messages. He'd reply to that and would say, "baby, dali nlg ni. Hapit nako mahuman." So, okay. Sure, I'll wait. But there are really times that the network itself isn't cooperating - delay messages. I'd literally cry my madness out. I am the most impatient person when it comes to waiting for his replies. Really. I'd cry! I'd cry because I'm upset regardless of what is the reason of the delay. May it be in the network or his replies are really late because he's still busy, I'd cry. Me, being impatient, would really lead me to anger and would let it all out on him even if it's not his fault - it's the network's fault. How will you know that it's the network? The messages will come flooding in your inbox with different message-received-time. So, RJ, becoming the victim here, would rather chat than txting me. Because in chat, you'll see if the other person has read your messages or you'll know if they're already typing. So right now, this petty reason has been minimized because we come up to something that can somehow resolve it. Again, RJ hates calling and I'm not a fan of telebabad too. Krystel - 1 RJ - 1 Serious arguments. -This one sounds the toughest and hardest to resolve. But for me, this is the best kind of fight. Why? Because we end up learning something and would really tend to not do it again. As I can remember, since late last year, we only had two. And we get through it, together. This kind of fight would really draw us stronger. This kind of fight is the one thing we look back and would say, "Diba tapos na tayo dito, please di na nato to balikan. Lisod to and we don't want to get through it again. We've learned." Yes, this is the toughest. Our first one took us 1 day not talking nor txting/chatting each other. And the latest one took us more than 12hrs. You'd probably say, "Grabeh. 1 day lang/ 12hrs lang serious fight na agad." Yes, that's a very difficult fight for the both of us. Because whenever we fight, we always make sure that we can sleep and go to work or go through our day without heavy feelings. We make sure that we'll make up for the sake of each other's feelings. That's the reason why 1 day of not talking to each other is already hard. It's 1 day wasted, 1 day running around with heavy heart, 1 day not knowing how each other's day went and it's 1 day of not talking where in fact you should be saying I love you's. But again, we hardly have this. And hopefully won't encounter as much. Krystel - 2 RJ - 2 Yep, we both have points for this because we both work our way out from that kind of fight. Bottomline, one should really take a step back. No one's winning if you'll continue arguing with hard heads. You'd rather lose an argument than lose the love of your life. ❤️ Petty things are petty things, it's cute and that's essential. Just know when to put an end into it. You don't want to waste a minute over some crap, do you? Be patient. Impatience won't bring you anywhere. You'll end up disappointing yourself because you overthink the things that upsets you. Learn from the things that once caught you on fire. Remember, only YOU did put the flames out and the burns aren't bad at all. Always learn from the things you once stumbled upon, that what makes who you are today. Fights won't define how incompatible you are to your partner but it rather defines how well you go along to surpass it. You're always a team, one wins then you two wins. No one lose. PS: Red days don't count on this. Red days aren't bad days. And, RJ always, ALWAYS takes a step back for me. 😂 I love you, Mister ko. ❤️😘

[junker-town]

Morning Skate: Welcome to the best part of the hockey calendar

Fresh faces and meaningful games galore.

You love hockey. You love SB Nation. You love reading hockey at SB Nation. Search your feelings. You know these things are true. But life's too busy to browse the whole network for news. So we'll send hockey news to your inbox every morning. All you need to do is subscribe.

Lace 'em up. Time for the Morning Skate.

This is the best time of the hockey year.

No, not because the playoffs are around the corner. That's boring. And agonizing.

No, I love this time of year because college hockey is winding down. And as NCAA teams finish their seasons, top prospects sign with their teams. And we get little glimpses of the bright future of the league.

Clayton Keller is suiting up with the Coyotes this week. Charlie McAvoy should join the Bruins soon. Brock Boeser signed with the Canucks on Saturday morning and scored his first NHL goal hours later.

Look, every league gets stale a bit after five months. Even if all of those teams aren't bound for a long Stanley Cup run, it's refreshing to have new players to get excited about as the season winds down. Like little hockey appetizers before the playoffs begin.

Unless you're the Senators and you send your best prospect to the AHL. Lame.

NOW THE MEN'S TEAM IS BOYCOTTING

The ongoing saga between the women's team and USA Hockey took another turn this weekend: rumblings are that the men's team is planning on boycotting their own IIHF World Championship appearance in support of the women's team.

Talk about putting USA Hockey into a corner.

I loved what TSN's Ray Ferraro said about this over the weekend: USWNT legend Cammie Granato and her team tried to make these moves back in the early oughts, but didn't make much traction.

The difference now, of course, is social media. The movement and its ideas can spread like wildfire and grow organically. As Ferraro said, "Social media doesn't allow USA Hockey to blow this off, push into background." He's right, and that gets more difficult with so many men's players speaking out about it as well.

Meanwhile, USWNT player Hilary Knight spoke out about recent negotiations with USA Hockey, and the program began scrounging around bargain bins for replacement players.

brb my heart is melting

i'm sorry but this dog is playing with a puck on the ice and i am dead

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Hey guys. It's Pat. Sorry. I'm back. I obviously need to fix the bot.

In the meantime, here's links.

Not sure if the Leafs have bought into the one-goalie thing yet.

Montreal hasn't treated their Canadian rivals well lately.

The Pacific Division is a logjam.

Logan Couture is injured and the Sharks are officially on Worry Watch™.

Sidney Crosby isn't a dirty player, but he's not the cleanest, either.

The Rangers are after a top college free agent again.