#but I really struggle to ask for the intensity I feel I need sometimes. because I don’t know how to explain or describe it I guess | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lady-luckk · 2 months ago

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mini bios for yandere sugar daddy harem

# pairing: yandere sugar daddy harem x sugar baby reader

# synopsis: exactly as the title says. expands more on the personality of the eight weirdos obsessed with you.

# warnings: this will contain dark themes such as obsession and possessiveness. if you are uncomfortable, please block me. viewer discretion is advised. minors DNI.

# note: i decided to make bios for all of these dudes. mainly bc we both needed a way to keep track of them 💀. so hope this helps!! also part 2 is basically almost done I just need to edit it!!! likes, commemts, and reblogs are appreciated.

elijah:

elijah is friendly but disconnected. he treats most people like background characters in the love story he’s built in his head. he’s polite, even charming at times, but rarely genuine. conversations with him tend to feel one-sided—he’ll smile, nod, and drift off mid-sentence, lost in daydreams. he struggles to form deep connections with anyone who isn’t you because, to him, no one else really matters.

he lives in a fantasy where you’re already his and nothing else matters. he sees the world through the lens of a love story he’s written in his head. with others, he’s warm but shallow—polite only because it’s expected. he rarely remembers details about people who aren’t you. to you, he’s intense and unwavering. he talks like your connection is fate, like you’re both destined. he’ll plan imaginary dates months ahead, leave poems under your pillow, and whisper about the life he sees in your eyes—whether you believe in it or not.

with others: elijah smiles politely, but there’s distance behind his eyes. he listens, nods, but rarely contributes. when asked about his life, he redirects or offers vague pleasantries. he’s present, but never engaged. with you: his demeanor shifts completely—more focused, more intense. every word you speak is absorbed like gospel. he hangs onto your sentences, responds with long, flowery monologues about the life he envisions with you. your presence seems to anchor him.

his quirk: he writes love letters he never sends and keeps them in a shoebox labeled “someday.” sometimes he narrates imaginary conversations with you under his breath, like he’s practicing for a future that only exists in his head.

“they’re just… thoughts i needed to get out. i don’t need to send them—you’ll feel it anyway, right? i already say it all to you in my head. you always listen there.”

lucas:

lucas keeps people at a distance. he’s quiet and observant, choosing his words carefully if he bothers to speak at all. he doesn’t care for small talk or socializing. coworkers and acquaintances often describe him as cold or standoffish, but he doesn’t mind. he doesn’t waste energy on people who don’t serve a purpose. control and order are his priorities—his environment, his schedule, his emotions, all tightly managed.

he moves like a shadow—calm, reserved, and constantly watching. he’s cold and clipped with most people, only speaking when necessary and never indulging small talk. he keeps a tight inner circle and doesn’t let anyone in, except for you. around you, he softens, though never fully. he doesn’t smother; he lingers. he notices everything you do and makes quiet adjustments to your life without asking—changing locks, moving furniture, replacing things he thinks aren’t good enough. he doesn’t say “i love you”—he says, “you’re safest with me.”

with others: lucas keeps interactions short. he answers questions in clipped sentences, avoids eye contact unless necessary, and never lingers in conversation. people find him cold, hard to read, and quietly intimidating. with you: he becomes grounded, but not exactly softer—just more fixated. he watches you closely, notices the smallest changes in your tone or posture. he doesn’t speak much, but when he does, it’s always about you. his silence with you feels intentional, like he’s claiming space by being near.

his quirk: he keeps every item that reminds him of you: receipts, empty cups, hair ties, notes. he has a drawer full of these “souvenirs,” and he’ll occasionally pull one out just to stare at it and smile like it’s sacred.

“yeah, i kept the receipt from that one cafe. you said something that day, i don’t remember exactly what, but it made me feel like… like i mattered. i just didn’t want to forget it.”

nathan:

nathan is introverted and soft-spoken. he’s not the type to make waves or assert himself in social situations. he’s often quiet, preferring to observe rather than participate in conversations. he struggles with making small talk and is prone to second-guessing himself in social settings. despite his shyness, he’s deeply empathetic and attentive to the needs of others. when he does speak, it’s often thoughtful and sincere. he’s the kind of person who remembers small details about people’s lives and shows genuine concern for their well-being, even if he doesn’t always know how to express it.

nathan is all nerves under a polished exterior. he tries to seem confident, but his need for reassurance bleeds through in every conversation. with others, he’s friendly and eager to please, but quick to fold under pressure. he tries too hard to be liked. to you, he’s clingy and full of need—checking in constantly, hanging on every word you say. he memorizes your routines and waits for your cues to feel okay. he gifts you things impulsively, overcompensating for the fear that he’ll never be enough to keep you.

with others: nathan tries hard to please—overlaughing at jokes, offering help even when it’s not needed. he often apologizes for things he didn’t do. his nervous energy is palpable, and people walk over him without realizing it. with you: he’s still nervous, but in a quieter, more vulnerable way. he constantly seeks your approval, asking if you’re okay, if you’re happy. there’s a tremble in his voice when he compliments you. he watches your reactions like they’ll tell him if he’s enough.

his quirk: he bakes when he’s anxious—muffins, cookies, banana bread—and always “accidentally” brings too much, leaving a fresh batch at your door with a shy note. it’s his way of saying what he can’t out loud.

“i, uh… i didn’t know if you were having a rough day or not, but, um, muffins help me, so… maybe they’ll help you too? no pressure or anything. just… eat one if you want.”

kai:

kai is intense. with others, he’s unpredictable and moody, never staying in one lane long enough for anyone to get comfortable. he lashes out quickly when he feels disrespected, but softens just as fast when someone shows him care. most people find him draining or confusing. he craves closeness but pushes people away the moment they get too near. he struggles with boundaries and doesn’t know how to regulate his emotions in public or private.

he's like a whirlwind. he’s charming and magnetic one second, distant and sharp the next. his mood swings keep people at arm’s length—no one knows where they stand with him. to you, he crashes hard. he’s constantly seeking emotional intensity, starting fights just to feel close, apologizing with tears and bruised knuckles. he touches you like you’ll disappear and speaks like every word might be his last. you’re his grounding point in a life he can’t control, and he’ll burn down anything he thinks is pulling you away.

with others: kai shifts gears quickly—one moment charming and charismatic, the next cold and distant. he gets bored fast, lashes out when people don’t keep up with him. most avoid getting too close. with you: you’re the exception. his volatility still exists, but it bends toward you. when you’re happy, he’s euphoric. when you’re annoyed, he spirals. his emotions run through you like a wire—tension building and releasing in waves.

his quirk: he changes his phone wallpaper to a different candid picture of you almost daily. sometimes it’s from a night you barely remember; sometimes it’s one he shouldn’t have. he’ll show it off or hide it depending on his mood.

“don’t laugh. you looked insane in this pic—like, wild—but i can’t stop staring at it. i don’t even remember taking it. you’re just… always there, even when you’re not.”

matthew:

matthew appears kind and dependable. people trust him quickly—he knows how to make others feel safe, like he has everything under control. but there’s a quiet authority to him that makes others hesitant to cross him. he doesn’t tolerate disrespect, and he doesn’t forgive easily. most people see him as stable and responsible, unaware of how calculating he really is. he prefers being in charge, even if it means subtly manipulating those around him.

matthew speaks in calm, measured tones and carries an air of quiet authority. others find him intimidating—he rarely smiles and doesn’t entertain nonsense. he watches people like they’re puzzles he’s already solved. to you, he becomes meticulous, attentive, and possessive under the guise of care. he manages your schedule, your diet, your space, always claiming it’s for your good. he runs you a bath before you realize you need it, lays out your clothes, installs tracking on your phone. he believes love is control—and he loves you more than anything.

with others: matthew is measured, efficient. he rarely explains himself. people follow his lead because it’s easier than pushing back. he’s polite, but there’s a subtle threat behind his courtesy. with you: the control remains, but it softens into caretaking. he adjusts your routine, checks your schedule, reminds you to eat. his concern feels clinical at times, but there’s a clear emotional undercurrent—like you’re the only thing he wants to keep orderly.

his quirk: he’s obsessive about timing and schedules, especially when it comes to you. he sends you reminders to eat, texts you your own calendar, and gets slightly agitated if your routine shifts—even if it’s out of your control.

“you always forget to drink water. and sleep. and eat. i’m not being controlling—i just… someone has to care enough to remember for you. i don’t mind. i like doing it.”

leo:

leo tends to avoid others when he doesn’t feel secure. he’s awkward in group settings, easily overwhelmed, and quick to retreat if he senses rejection. people often see him as overly sensitive or dramatic. he needs a lot of reassurance, which makes him exhausting to those who don’t know how to handle emotional intensity. he’s the type to attach quickly and panic when he feels alone.

leo wears his heart on his sleeve, overly emotional and endlessly attached. he’s erratic with others—too talkative, too eager, too sensitive to criticism. he gets overwhelmed easily and withdraws when people don’t respond how he wants. to you, he latches on like you’re the only safe place in the world. he calls multiple times a day just to hear your voice. he gets anxious when you don’t respond quickly and spirals into panic if you’re distant. he thrives off your attention, melts under your praise, and breaks without your comfort.

with others: leo tries to be liked, but his energy feels off-putting. he interrupts, overshares, and tries too hard to connect. people are polite, but they rarely stay close. with you: he quiets down—not because he’s calmer, but because he’s overwhelmed by how much he needs you. he lingers near you constantly, asks where you’re going, when you’ll be back. he holds onto your words like they’re lifelines.

his quirk: he sends you voice notes constantly—rambling thoughts, updates, sweet nothings. sometimes he talks just to feel close to you, whispering half-asleep confessions at 3am that he forgets to delete.

“i know it’s a lot but… sometimes it feels like you’re right there when i talk. and if you listen, you’ll know how much i miss you. even when i say dumb stuff like, ‘i saw a cloud shaped like your face.’”

xavier:

xavier commands attention in every room he enters, even when he says nothing. people respect him, but they don’t trust him. he’s intimidating without trying to be, always a few steps ahead of the conversation. he doesn’t bother pretending to like anyone. relationships are strategic—useful or discarded. he keeps everyone guessing, never reveals his full hand, and always has a plan in motion. people fear him more than they admire him.

xavier is sharp, composed, and intimidating. he commands attention in any room, and people either admire or fear him. he’s cold, dismissive, and rarely shows emotion—unless it’s anger. to you, he’s quietly intense. he studies you like a project, always ten steps ahead. he knows your habits better than you do and manipulates situations to make you more reliant on him. he touches you deliberately, speaks in low tones meant only for you. you’re his obsession, his prize, and he’ll bend the world to keep you close.

with others: xavier commands attention without effort. people watch their words around him, knowing he misses nothing. he’s sharp, confident, and not afraid to assert control in subtle, unsettling ways. with you: he shifts from sharp to sharp-eyed. his control tightens but becomes quieter. he touches your lower back in public, speaks for you in conversations, watches you instead of others. his attention is constant, and it’s absolute.

his quirk: he keeps a hidden notebook filled with hypothetical timelines—vacations, homes, investments, life goals—all built around you. he updates it weekly and treats it more seriously than his actual job.

“it’s not weird. it’s preparation. people waste time waiting for things to happen. i don’t. when you finally say yes, i’ll already know the best city, the house layout, the name of the dog. efficiency.”

damien:

damien is a ghost in most social situations. he speaks only when necessary, watches everything, and gives nothing away. people find him unsettling, like he knows something they don’t. he’s not rude—just distant, clinical, unreadable. he rarely forms connections and prefers to work alone. others might describe him as obsessive or odd, but they don’t really know him well enough to say for sure. he’s a shadow in the background—always listening, always calculating.

damien is calm, quiet, and almost forgettable in a crowd. he keeps to himself, doesn’t make waves, and most people barely register his presence. he likes it that way. to you, he’s dangerously devoted. he watches everything—your expressions, your silences, the way your hands move. he collects moments and records memories like evidence in a case only he understands. he doesn’t ask for love—he prepares for it. he leaves little traces of himself in your life: notes in your books, your favorite snack already stocked, your broken things fixed without a word. he doesn’t need you to say you’re his—he already knows.

with others: damien is unnoticed by most. he blends into the background, observing everything without being seen. when people speak to him, they forget the conversation by the time they walk away. with you: his presence becomes focused, unignorable. he knows your habits, your patterns, your silences. he anticipates your needs before you voice them. he’s quiet still—but now, it feels like he’s everywhere at once.

his quirk: he records audio of your conversations without you knowing—not for anything sinister, just so he can replay your voice when you’re not around. he names the files after your moods that day: “laughing,” “quiet,” “tired but sweet.”

“your voice changes when you’re tired. it’s softer. quieter. i like that version of you. no one else gets to hear it but me.”

#yandere #yandere sugar daddy harem #yandere sugar daddy #male yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yancore #yandere headcanons #yandere oc #yandere scenarios #yandere harem

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carbonfiction · 3 months ago

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i know the general census is that frank is gentle but how would he handle if his little bunny that seemed all innocent and shy liked it insanely rough? not just spanking and backshots “rough” but face slapping and grabbing, breath play like holding her mouth and nose, intense manhandling like chokeholds and being held in the air to show how small she is in his arms and lowk clit torture. and she likes to act all delicate because she is and can’t even fit him all the way in after training and also squirts from a few touches to her clit but she likes being broken and wants him to use every ounce of his strength to do that and i need him to skullfuck me with my hands tied behind my back with a vibrator assaulting my clit…and then he slaps my cheek over and over and then pulling out to put me in a chokehold until i’m bruised 🐳 glasses anon i need him to break five pairs monthly from how rough he is i need him to CORRUPT MEEE

FIRSTLY!! 🐳ANON HELLOO<33 I have missed you<3

Please you are so real, it’s like actually a carnal needdddd how bad I need frank to hold my jaw and coo filthy filthy things at me while he blows out my back. And you are SO right on the corruption and skull fucking omggggg. Oh and I also wanna add bc of this ask (and my absolutely foul thoughts on born again bearded frank) I ammmm working on a rougher/mean!Frankie piece rn and I am quaking each time I open the draft. I cannot wait to get a sec to get it finished for y’all <3

im praying this is understandable enough though and not complete waffle😭 I struggle trying to get my thoughts out clearly enough sometimes if ya couldn’t already tell🥲 18+smut thoughts below the cut inc themes of rough sex, breath play/choking, Size kink? Doggy/prone? Was the goal anyway😭Overstimulation, bodily fluids and aftercare (pleeeeease lmk if I've missed anything, i always go blank tagging😭)

Buuuuuuut buckle up! in response to this, I feel like if there’s anyone who can offer the rough stuff it’s him yk? Obviously if you were to let him, no mattwr how embarrassed you could be about it, he'd listen openly. But just know there would be SO many conversations beforehand on likes, dislikes, hard limits, safe words, boundary’s ect, and this goes for both of you! Neither of you want to make the other uncomfortable, especially not in a moment that takes such a level of sexual intimacy, trust and even respect. (Even when being deceptively disrespectful sometimes)

Frank strikes me (and im sure many of you guys) as task motivated so if his baby bun wants something a certain way, he’s going to ensure everything is correct for her to get it. He loves you too much to do anything without afformentioned confirmation. This also includes a lot of discussion on what sort of thing you need for aftercare within those moments when things get heavy too-

And I say those moments bc I don’t think he’d always indulge it? like dont get me wrong, he’d do it, but it’s not going to be every single time you fuck yk? He might incorporate bits here and there like a lil hard tap on the cheek for your attention “eyes on me, yeah, there she is, theres my dirty girl” or a hand on the neck “that feelin good sweetheart? That pretty head gettin all fuzzy?”

Perhaps frank even indulges you with licks of overstim outside of those moments, forfilling it with whatever form is within the mood- vibe, his mouth or fingers. “Shhh, You can take it. Taken more than this before, atta girl, you feel it, aint gotta think, just gotta keep cummin”

But the whole shebang? The whole 9 yards of him getting reeeeal rough, properly leaving marks, really manhandling or getting intensely mean would definitely be different; perhaps even almost planned? Like for example those moments are reserved for say arguments sake, ovulation, pent up stress relief or when your headspace is feeling a specific way?

The way he fucks, the way he talks and touches you? All Completely different to how frank would usually operate in the bedroom and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest!! I just personally feel it would take as much out of frank to do it as it would for you to take it yk?

But That being said he would be disgustingly good with it when he does use it <3

Wrapping his big bicep beneath your chin as he fucks into you harshly from behind, the other hand pinching and slapping at your tits- the taugt buds of your nipples- sharply enough to make you jerk and gasp. Problem is though, the more you jerk and react the more he tightens his hold, squeezing you in the headlock until he can feel the flutters of your cunt and the heaves of your chest. His massive body completely draped over yours, the weight of him pressing you down toward the mattress, hips pummelling your backside in a brutal fashion, punching deep and fast. "Fuckin tight little hole's squeezin my cock, you like not bein able to breathe? feelin me in your tummy?" the hand at your tits drifting to press at your stomach making you squeak, the pressure intensifying the pleasure coursing through you. "Yeaaah, yeah you love all that cock in there dontcha Bun, greedy fuckin girl. Made for it, just lettin me use that pussy how i want"

That hand (sometimes then reaching for your vibe if the mood so runs that way) will then drift further down to your puffy clit, already oversensitive and abused from prior attention. Frank slaps it once, twice, three times before immediately massaging tight, quick figure eights until you practically end up limp in his grip, eyes rolling back as you cum again with a choked, almost gargled moan. Your cunt squeezing him almost as tight as the grip on your neck before he lets go; letting euphoria take over your body with each gasp of oxygen that fills your lungs.

Frank does not stop until he feels you physically cannot cum anymore (or you Safeword!!). He fucks you through orgasm after orgasm (even his own) until you’re nothing short of a mess, practically trembling like a newborn deer and the slightest brush on your clit has your legs closing with a broken yowl. Panting body absolutely covered with various marks, drying spit, slick and cum.

The aftercare, while hes incredible with it generally, is then a complete 180 however- gone is all the roughness of his movements, the sharpness of his words. Replaced by touchs that are feather light and words careful, quiet grumbles as he checks in on you. "Hey pretty girl.. Heads all hazy huh? I know.. But i gotcha, franks gotcha, your safe."

Once you've had a drink and a little bite to eat, some fruit or something simple, he'll always carry you to the bathroom and only leave you to change the sheets as you sit to pee (bc christ forbid a uti on his watch-) then you can lean back against his chest in the warm water of the bath he left running, his broad body sat behind yours as he gets you clean without you even needing to move.

Whispers of soft praise and gentle shushes filling the echoing bathroom as he ensures every sensitive inch of skin is clean even when your eyes droop. "Shhh, i know.. Know its sore baby, just one more moment. One more swipe n' ill leave it alone yeah?" punctuated with a soft kiss to your temble that an hour ago you wouldn't of been able to even dream of him doing.

Frank dries you off with the softest towl you own, of course warmed by the dryer. soothing your skin with a lotion and/or balm you love. Never forgetting to pay extra gentle attention to the red welts on your ass, thighs and chest as he tells you how gorgeous you are in a moment that sometimes, you can feel anything but.

He'll help you into the pajamas you choose (wether your own or one of his shirts/boxers) and not bat a single eye if wearing panties to bed is too uncomfortable for you to handle.

Once fully comfortable his first mission is to then get you a propper snack or little meal. Insisting food is fuel and you need it after everything he put you through as he treads of to the kitchen. Coming back to then execute mission number 2: laying down with you resting cuddled up on his chest.

Fingers softly running over your arm as he presses kisses anywhere he can with little movement. "Doin okay sweetheart? You tell me if you need anything else alright? Nothins too much for my girl." " so proud of you, ya know that?"

"Gettin sleepy down there? I know..shh, you get some rest. Not goin anywhere i promise, Love you sweetheart"

#is it like real obvious i need him?#i fear it is #frank pls come home the holes need you🙂‍↔️#🐳 anon #hopefully this is something- anything like you had in mind really #frankiethoughts #frank castle comfort #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x reader smut #frank castle smut #the punisher smut #The punisher #carbonrambles #carbonasksforasks #frank castle x reader

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gatorbites-imagines · 3 months ago

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Could I request, if you want, a conquest fic. It can be short, it can be bullet points, I don't care- I am STARVED because there's no content of him at all.

Maybe like, a little blurb of him just laying in bed next to reader and wondering how he ended up falling in love with a little human, questioning his life (not in a bad way) while reader is sitting up and reading a book or something- basking in the afterglow of pounding his beloved old man. Or it doesn't have to be smut related at all, I'm okay with pure fluff!

Thank you for the consideration ❤️

Conquest x male reader

Blurb

My new classes are starting tomorrow, and I can feel jitters all up under my skin, like every time I do anything new with my life. So, im ignoring that by writing.

i tried to fluff this up, enjoy gamers.

Falling in love was not a feeling many, if any, viltrumites got to experience. It is such a vulnerable feeling, like an exposed nerve pulled to the surface, a nerve ending that only that other person could press and pull.

It is a weakness, the greatest weakness Conquest has ever experienced. For his lonely heart to be taken from between his own grizzled bloody hands, and held near someone else's chest, as if it mattered and carried importance.

Being held as if you mattered, to be kissed and appreciated, to have meaningful nothings and words that carried such a deep emotional weight, was almost unbearable.

At least, those were the thoughts going through Conquest's mind as he laid in the bed you two shared, a bed you had specially ordered to be able to fit him and his weight. Covered in a duvet that had to be ordered large enough to fit, and still be comfortable.

His heart... ached in ways he still struggled to understand as he let his seeing eye turn to you. There you were, sitting and reading one of your favorite books, one you had reread at least five times since you two became an “item”, as you earthlings say.

Because earth was not just for worms anymore. If it could create someone like you, someone who could look at somebody as violent and bloody as Conquest, a man with a title and no name, and still feel love? Then earthlings were not worms at all.

There were moments where Conquest wondered if he should kill you, not because he truly wanted too, but because feeling so weak and vulnerable was... unusual, new and scary. Never could he find it in himself to hurt you, his hands cradling instead of crushing, for once he found himself being careful.

You must have noticed his quiet staring, his usually intense face looking lax and calm, thoughtful even. “What is it?” you ask, putting the bookmark between the pages you were reading. “Was I not good enough?” you joke, putting the book on the bedside table so you could give Conquest your full attention.

Conquest's prosthetic hand twitched by his side, before he lifted it, fingers that had killed hundreds, thousands, millions, brushed so carefully against your skin.

“You really are so cute sometimes” you chuckle, your voice making his heart clench, his insides flutter, his face heat up. And as you lean down the kiss him, Conquest finds his eyes shutting to simply bask in this feeling. Such a human feeling, such a weakness, but so very good.

Yes. Good. Thats what it is. The vulnerability, the warmth and care, makes the fear of the unknown worth it. To be held in your arms, as if Conquest was someone who needed to be protected, was special. Something he could never see himself without, not anymore.

#male reader #conquest #invincible conquest #invincible #conquest x male reader #conquest x reader #invincible x reader #invincible x male reader #gator ignoring his problems and writing instead #what else is new #more at 11 #ive never actually been in love so idk if this is a solid description

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junnieverse · 4 months ago

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— HEESEUNG AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ! 💭

➙ boyfriend heeseung thoughts

pairing: lee heeseung x gn!reader

genre: fluff and a teeny bit suggestive

warnings: lowercase intended, not proofread, mentions of food

a/n: I may have went a bit overboard… I couldn’t help it, it’s lee heeseung??

heeseung has got to be one of the sweetest and most attentive people out there

he just always know how and when to make you feel better

serenades, oh sweet serenades

what even is “I love you” if not a 3 minute serenade your boyfriend gives you with a 90s rnb song or something

add playing piano into the mix and cue the heart eyes (that you give him ofc because you’re a simp, yeah ik what you are)

you can’t tell me you wouldn’t fold???

going out spontaneous happens a lot

and I mean causally just going to play basketball together at like 2am just for the fun of it

heeseung is all but competitive when it comes to you

like he will in fact let you win just so see you smile whenever you win a game you’re both playing

and if you’re playing against someone else he’s gonna help you win because he’s your biggest cheerleader

is the boyfriend who will win you the biggest teddy bear from the amusement park games

OH MY GOSH THE WAY HE LOOKS AT YOU

YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND IM ACTUALLY CLAWING AT THE WALL #NEEDTHAT

this boy never shys away from making the most intense eye contact with you

this being mostly to show you he’s attentively listening to what you’re saying and because well, look at you, you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid his very eyes on

he’s absolutely smitten

if anything he finds it cute when you get flustered and then look away blushing

but if you actually know how to hold that eye contact then you’ll probably notice him smirking as his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips

speaking of lips, THE MAKEOUT SESSIONS GO CRAZY (my legs are weak)

I don’t wanna get too deep into this but wow does he know how to leave you dazed 😵‍💫

he absolutely loves whenever you’re affectionate with him and reciprocating it

whenever he’s gaming especially and you’re not really doing anything, he usually just pulls you onto his lap and you’ll just either watch or scroll through your phone while he plays

ramen dates! and yes it’s a thing…

usually after a hectic schedule or as a late night snack, you’ll both (in other words, you watching your boyfriend) cook some and then cuddle up on the couch enjoying while watching something together

one of your gf privileges is in fact eating from his plate without asking

you could be trying to get a piece of the cake from his plate and he’ll casually push the plate towards you to eat it comfortably

this has made the other members’ jaws drop on a few occasions (jake lowkey threw a fit but sucks to suck right)

the other being the fact that you also steal his clothes a lot and he doesn’t mind at all because he loves seeing you in his clothes

be it a shirt, flannel, beanie- you name it, it’s probably in your closet

heeseung rather be caught dead than see you struggling on you’re own

he will go out of his way to help you in anything and everything if you ever need and he’s quick to express that you can tell him when you need him

he’s always there to help you with the minuscule things like changing the lightbulb that’s dead in the bathroom to helping you prepare for a big presentation you have for school or work

but sometimes even through a hard time, all you need is a hug and he knows that

“Oh my angel…” he immediately gets up from the island stool engulfing you in a tight hug as his embrace triggers your tears to finally slip

he never gets mad at you

this man has the patience of an angel

no matter how much you try to test his patience to see, it’s all just a playful annoyance

you’re getting more and more convinced he is in fact the best boyfriend out there

now would he pick his ps5 and pc set up over you…

some things are better left unanswered :)

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girlgenius1111 · 1 year ago

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no time

jenni hermoso x reader. jenni is feeling neglected by how much time r is spending away from her, focused on football and getting her degree. jenni decides r is avoiding her, and pulls away too. eventually, it all becomes too much for r, who is feeling the pressure from everyone and everything. i would say teeny amount of angst and majority amount of fluff. for all the underfed jenni girls 😌😌

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Jenni knew you were busy. She knew you had a million things going on, and that the lack of time you’d been spending her was probably completely unintentional. A more insecure part of her worried that it was intentional, but she tried to quiet that part down. The Spaniard came across as a very outgoing, confident individual, and for the most part, she was. In her relationships, though, she had an issue with asking for what she needed, just like you did. She craved your attention and your company, but something inside of her just… wouldn’t let her ask for it.

And it wasn’t like Jenni wasn’t trying to spend time with you. She’d come into the office while you were studying, trying to convince you to take a break. In the past few weeks, the answer had been no. You were drowning in school work, with practices picking up in frequency and intensity for the team. When you did have time to focus on school, you were always rather exhausted. Adding another 2 classes to your course load this term had been a mistake if you’d ever made one. Instead of the two you normally took, sometimes three, you were taking four. Four more classes, and you’d be done with your degree, fulfilling your promise to your parents to have a backup plan in case football didn’t work out. Maybe you didn’t deserve a degree. It was pretty idiotic to come to the conclusion that four classes wasn’t that much more than two.

Jenni had never cared for school, getting it done as soon as she could. She loved you, a lot, but she couldn’t really comprehend the deeply ingrained need you had to get your degree, and get perfect marks. She was supportive nonetheless, but she didn’t really quite understand what another two classes would entail. For the first part of the term, it had been manageable. Now, things had piled up, and you were absolutely drowning.

You were a perfectionist, and you’d do anything to make sure your university work was perfect, your football was perfect, at the expense of everything. Even your own wellbeing. And, apparently, Jenni’s wellbeing too, although you weren’t quite aware of the toll your lack of time spent with her was causing.

It was really a lack of communication that caused things to bubble over.

Jenni felt neglected. And you wanted nothing more than for her to pull you away from your late night study sessions and remind you to put yourself first, because you were sure you couldn’t do it yourself. If either of you had just spoken to the other, it would have been resolved so easily. Jenni would have realized that you needed her, but were too stressed to really know what you needed. And you would have realized that giving Jenni space wasn’t some kind of gift for her, and that she would be happy to sit next to you while you studied and just keep you company. Communication was an area that your relationship tended to struggle, though. It was a work in progress, and this situation clearly presented where there was still progress to be made.

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As you typed away at your computer, you again wondered why on earth you had added classes. Another term would have been worth it, if only to avoid this hell. It was Tuesday, and you had 3 essays due on Sunday. The week was stuffed full of training and extra workouts, though, and then the team was traveling for an away game. Everything had to be done by Friday, or it wouldn’t get done, and that wasn’t an option.

Not only did it have to be done, it had to be perfect. There was no possibility of halfassing any assignment. You’d tried before, but you always ended up redoing it until it was perfect, and it was just much easier to do it the first time around.

You had just finished the first essay, which was at the very end of the page limit. It was up to your standards, you decided, reading over it once more before turning it in. You should have felt relieved, that one of the things hanging over your head was now completed. Instead, you could only look to the next essay, and the one after that. And the exam next week, the project the week after. It was so easy to get overwhelmed if you thought too hard about everything, so you did your best to focus on each task one at a time.

Perhaps it was this very narrow view of your life that had you not really thinking about your girlfriend in the other room. She’d been waiting for you to emerge from the office all afternoon, only getting you to take a short break to eat.

She just wanted to spend time with you. Catch up on a show, or hold you on the couch and talk. It didn’t make any sense to her, why couldn't you just put the schoolwork down for one night, and pay attention to her. Maybe you would have, if she’d just asked for it. Instead, she sat quietly in the living room, trying her best not to cry as her feelings began to overwhelm her. Was she really that horrible to spend time with? That her own girlfriend preferred mindless busy work to being with her?

Deciding to end her pity party, she wiped at her eyes, checking in the front hall mirror that there were no visible tear marks, before she made a very pathetic attempt to get your attention. It wasn’t very late, but training had been grueling today, and Jenni knew that if she was tired, you must be exhausted.

“Mi amor?” Jenni called from the doorway of the office. “Are you coming to bed?”

You didn’t even turn your head away from the screen in front of you for a full 20 seconds, and when you finally did, it was to stare almost blankly at your girlfriend. “Huh?”

“I was just- I’m going to bed now. Goodnight.” Before you could reply, Jenni was turning around and heading down the hall towards the bedroom. No goodnight kiss, no request for you to join her. You blinked after her, struck by how cold she’d just been with you. Now that you thought about it, she’d been like that for a few days, and you hadn’t noticed.

You turned back to your outline, copying lines from your notes mindlessly as you tried to figure out the source of Jenni’s frustration. Of course, you settled on yourself. You were a disaster at the moment, and you knew that. The only logical thing you could come up with was that Jenni was just… annoyed with having to deal with you like this. There were only a few weeks left of term, and you decided to try to bother her as little as possible until then. Once school was over, for good, you could go back to being the smiley, relaxed girlfriend Jenni was used to. The one Jenni preferred.

You had very little clarity of when you fell asleep. One second, you were typing away, eyes drooping. The next, you were facedown asleep, your face smushed into your keyboard.

Jenni managed to fall asleep without you next to her, but did not remain that way for long. After only two hours she woke, frowning to herself when she realized the bed was still practically made on your side. With a sigh, she dragged herself from bed and walked down to the office, prepared to drag you to bed if she had to. Even if you were avoiding her, she had to put her foot down somewhere; this was bordering on unhealthy.

She trudged into the office, lips curving into a small smile as she noticed you out cold on your laptop. It didn’t look very comfortable, and the quiet inhales and marks on your cheek told her you’d been asleep for a solid amount of time.

“Amor,” Jenni sang, her voice soft and loving as she roused you from a deep sleep.

“Jen?” You picked your head up, blinking groggily up at her, and winced at the knot that had appeared in your neck. You’d fallen asleep, you realized. It was dark in the room, and Jenni’s face was half hidden by shadows. It was unreadable, and you cursed yourself internally for immediately breaking the promise you’d made to yourself just a few hours prior. The promise to not make Jenni suffer through your stress along with you. She must be so upset with you, having to come check on you like you were a child. Still, Jenni was kind and you knew that the way she carefully picked you up and cradled you to her chest didn’t mean she still wasn’t annoyed. It didn’t mean you weren’t being too much for her, it just meant Jenni was a good person.

“Let’s go to bed, sí?” She cooed, carrying you down the hall.

You nodded into her chest, allowing yourself a moment of comfort. You fought against the tightness in your throat and the moisture in your eyes as you realized just how exhausted you were, not wanting to make the situation any worse. Warmth filled your girlfriend’s chest at the feeling of having you so close to her again, but that feeling faded quickly when she placed you down on the bed, and you immediately rolled to the edge of your side. As far from her as possible.

This cemented it in her mind, honestly. That you were avoiding her on purpose, using your school work as an excuse. And you were only more sure that she was tired of how much stress you brought to her life when she didn’t curl her body around yours, as she normally did. Both of you were miserable as you drifted off, completely incorrectly convinced that the other person was angry.

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You were not a morning person, but your girlfriend was. It was your daily routine at this point for her to wake you up in the morning, a mug of coffee in her hand and a soft smile on her face, dimples just barely peeking out. Or, you’d wake to her curled around you, her breaths steady puffs on your neck. Never, never, did you wake to nothing. No Jenni at all. Your alarm went off, and you groaned, feeling that the few hours of sleep were not enough. You were barely conscious, rolling onto the other side of the bed in search of your girlfriend’s warm body. Nothing.

Waiting a beat, you listened for her footsteps coming up the stairs. Nothing. Minutes passed with no appearances from the striker, and you rolled over towards the bedside table, grabbing your phone. Her location showed her already at the training grounds, a full hour early. You pictured her taking free kicks from all over the pitch, the same scowl on her face she always got when she was worked up about something. You loved that scowl, despite the cause of it. You liked to make it turn into a huge grin, one that brought out the dimples on her cheeks.

God you missed her. Suddenly, with full force, you missed her deeply. Though you’d seen her last night, it felt like you’d been gone for weeks. You supposed you had, too caught up in your school work to think of much else. You wondered if she missed you, too, or if she was glad for the break.

No way to know, you decided, even though there very clearly was. Deciding that you could get a bit of your next essay done before you had to get ready for training, you dragged yourself out of bed and down the hall to get some coffee. There was some left on the counter for you, in a mug that had Jenni’s face on it, a joke gift she’d given you last christmas. On the very rare occasions Jenni had to leave the house before you were up, she almost always left a little note. Sometimes it was something cheesy and adorable, and other times it was just a heart. Today, there was nothing but the mug, the coffee inside already cold.

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When Jenni entered the house after dinner, she was feeling kind of guilty for being so distant the past few days. Especially after seeing how exhausted you were the night before. With the whole day to think about things, she realized maybe she should be more worried than upset with you.

She’d left before you were even awake. Obviously, you couldn’t discuss anything at training, and you’d gone straight to the library after to work on your essay. Jenni had made herself get out of the house, getting together with a few friends, texting you quickly that she wouldn’t be home for dinner.

She knew she’d been a bit immature and that she should have just communicated her issue to you. Before you, she’d never felt needy. Now, though, it felt like any time away from you was difficult. And the distance she’d forced in the past few days hadn’t made her feel better like she thought; she hadn’t gotten used to not being around you. Instead, she just missed you even more. Maybe she would have talked to you, honestly, if she hadn’t been convinced that you were upset with her, tired of her.

She couldn’t hear the clicking of the keyboard coming from the office, and that would have been her first guess as to your location. Moving further into the house, Jenni looked around, finally spotting you in the living room. You weren’t lounging in the armchair, watching a show, like she’d been expecting. Instead, you were curled up into a ball on the sofa, sobbing into your hands. It was loud and painful, and the brunette was sure that you hadn’t even heard her enter the house. There were papers scattered around you, your computer set aside, still open to the essay that just wouldn’t get done.

The small sounds you were making in between each sob broke Jenni’s heart, and it only took her a minute to unfreeze, and cross the room.

“Amor, hey,” she cooed, crouching down next to the sofa and trying to tug your hands away from your face. You jumped slightly, feeling your face burn with embarrassment. You thought you’d have more time to hide your breakdown before Jenni got home.

“Go away.” You murmured, attempting to move away from her. Jenni was strong, though, and before you could move very far, you were being pulled into her lap.

“No. Talk to me.” Jenni encouraged, finally getting a look at your face. Her stomach dropped as she realized just how exhausted you were, and just how upset. Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to stop your tears, fighting against the urge to lean into your girlfriend. If the past day had taught you anything, it was that Jenni didn’t need to deal with your stress. That was the reason she must have been pulling away, and you wanted to respect her obvious need for space.

“I’m fine, Jenni, just go to bed. I’ll be in later.” Your voice was raspy from crying, and Jenni’s brow furrowed.

Shaking her head, she leaned in to place the gentlest of kisses on your cheek. “Cari, I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is wrong.”

Again, it felt like every part of you was begging to collapse into her. You just couldn’t do it. “You have enough on your plate. Don’t worry about me.” Even as you spoke, tears ran down your face, and you sniffled pitifully.

Jenni rolled her eyes in response, her slender fingers pushing your hair away from your face. “I love you, I am going to worry about you. Especially when I find you like this. Now tell me what is wrong so I can fix it.”

There was nowhere for you to look but at her, and her eyes were so earnest and so concerned, you gave in. “I-I’m just so stressed, Jen. I can’t- there isn’t enough time for me to get everything done and I’m so tired and I can’t do this anymore I’m losing my mind, and I’m too much for you and I just-”

Jenni became laser focused on the end of your rambling sentences, her hands working frantically to run through your hair and caress your face in comfort. “No, you are not too much for me, mi amor. Never. Why would you think that?”

Looking at her with wide eyes, you wondered why she was lying. “You’ve been avoiding me these past few days. You’ve barely been here, you left this morning without even waking me, I-”

Shaking her head rapidly, Jenni felt guilt tugging at her. She should have known better, should have known you’d never do anything to hurt her, but yourself? That was another story. “Amor, you’ve been avoiding me for weeks. I was only trying to give you space.”

“I was trying to give you space.” You choked out. “I thought you were tired of me.”

“No, mi amor, no.” Jenni sighed, gripping you by the shoulders and internally cursing herself. “I thought you were tired of me. You’ve been so busy, and I just thought you wanted to spend less time with me.”

‘No, I didn’t want that.” You shook your head, shrugging her hands off your shoulders, only to wrap your own arms around her abdomen and bury your face in her neck. “I was just so busy and so overwhelmed, I didn’t want to stress you out.”

With a gentle hand on the back of your head, Jenni pressed you in closer to her and left a kiss on the side of your head. “You do not stress me out. I want to help you when you are stressed, but I cannot do that if it feels like you do not want me around.”

You nodded into her neck, knowing she likely felt the tears running off your face and onto her skin. “I’m sorry.” You whimpered.

“It’s alright, cari. I’m sorry too, I should have noticed you were stressed.”

When she only got a shrug in response, she leaned you back from her and studied your face closely. “What’s going on, hmm? School doesn’t normally get you like this.”

Subconsciously, you tried to match the rise and fall of your girlfriend’s chest, willing yourself to just calm down so you could have a conversation. “It’s the extra classes. It’s way too much, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m barely getting everything done and it’s building up and-”

“Extra classes?” Jenni asked, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

You blinked at her. You’d told her about the extra classes… right? Admittedly, Jenni didn’t listen very hard when you talked about school, so it was entirely possible she’d just missed it, but she always remembered the important things. “I told you. I’m taking four this term.”

“Four! Why would you do that?!” Jenni exclaimed, her face so comically surprised, you had to fight a smile. “You didn’t tell me, amor.”

“I did!” You argued back. “So I can finish school this term instead of after the next one.”

Jenni shook her head, her face turning slightly stern. “You did not tell me. That is too much, mi amor, why would you do that? No wonder you’re so overwhelmed.” She tutted.

You thought hard, your eyebrows scrunching in a way Jenni found downright adorable. “Oh. I decided when I was home with my family for the holidays. I must have told them and forgotten to tell you…”

You looked at Jenni wearily, wondering if she’d be upset. Instead, she was chuckling at you and shaking her head. It was very you to forget something like this. Jenni liked to joke that you spend all your brain power on football and school, and there wasn’t any left over for common sense.

“Sorry, Jen. I thought I told you.” You mumbled, face turning red with embarrassment. Maybe your girlfriend would have been annoyed, if she wasn’t so very in love with you. All your quirks, though, were just silly to her, endearing. She had become horrifically soft for you, she realized.

“It’s okay, you didn’t do it on purpose.” Jenni said kindly. “I understand now, why you’ve been so busy. But, amor, if it is too much, why don’t you just drop a class? Or turn in a few assignments late. You only need a certain grade to pass, no? Not everything has to be perfect. You have to give yourself a break.”

It was everything you’d needed to hear, and still, everything you refused to believe. You couldn’t drop a class, couldn’t get less than a perfect score. You didn’t deserve a break, not until everything was done. Jenni’s face fell as your eyes began to water again, and she worried she said the wrong thing.

A flood of words spewed from your mouth, trying to help her understand what you didn’t even really understand. “I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to take a break without someone telling me to, I feel like my body is shutting down Jenni, I’m so tired,” you sobbed, once more pressing your face into her chest, likely staining her shirt with tears. She was quick to wrap you in a hug, hushing you quietly.

“Oh, mi amor.” She sighed, stroking her fingers through your hair. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize you were having a hard time, I’m sorry I didn’t help.”

That felt like an incredibly ridiculous thing for her to apologize for, and you told her so. “You shouldn’t have to do that, you shouldn’t have to take care of me like that”

“Of course I do. I want to. That is what partners do, no?” She replied incredulously, using her sleeve to gently swipe the tears off your face. She hated to see you cry, but she loved how long your eyelashes got when they were wet with tears; it made your eyes look bigger, somehow, and it always made her want to hold onto you and never let go.

“You don’t have to.” You argued weakly.

Jenni kissed you gently instead of replying right away, her soft lips pressing into yours telling you more than she could probably convey with words. “I’m going to, cariño.”

“Okay.” You whispered, effectively convinced by her kiss, knowing Jenni well enough to know that if you agreed with her, she’d kiss you again. And she did.

“We’ll start now then. Let’s take a break. We can lay on the couch and take a nap and then order dinner in.” She was already shutting your computer and carefully putting your notes into a pile, before placing it all on the table.

“But my essay,” you argued halfheartedly, knowing you would probably only be capable of writing incomprehensible sentences at this point. The striker turned back to you, a stern look on her face once again. Jenni shook her head firmly, her thumbs running back and forth across your cheeks in an incredibly soothing manner. “No essay is worth this. You need to take a break, and rest.”

“I- I don’t…”

“Hmm? You don’t what, amor?” Her voice held a challenge, almost begging you to argue with her about needing a break. She didn’t understand, but she wanted to, more than anything.

“I didn’t finish.” You whispered. “I don’t deserve a break until I’m done.”

“Cariño,” Jenni sighed, gently pulling on the back of your neck until you’d tucked your face in against her. She kissed the top of your head, mumbling her next words into your hair. “You are not a machine. You deserve a break whenever you need one, and you need one right now. No arguments.”

And though it felt all wrong, you let Jenni remove all your study materials from the room, putting them god knows where. She returned, sliding onto the couch and pulling you so you were laying in her arms.

Once your favorite show had been put on the TV, you looked up at her, chin resting on her chest. “I’m really sorry you felt so neglected, Jen.” You murmured. Now that you were no longer panicked about not getting your essay done, guilt had flooded you. “I wasn’t trying to avoid you, I promise. I’m so-”

“It’s okay, mi amor.” Jenni smiled. Now that her insecurities had been relatively addressed, [and now that she felt ridiculous for having them in the first place,] her only focus was on getting you to relax. Incidentally, that meant you would be spending a fair amount of time with her going forward, and that was a win for the striker. “I do not want to hear any more about it, si? All is forgiven.”

Jenni’s ability to forgive was one of her best traits, and you knew that when she said she forgave you, she meant it.

“Now, for my plan.” She continued, smiling almost mischievously at you.

“Your plan?” You asked wearily.

“Si, my very smart and well thought out plan.” Jenni grinned. “We are going to make a schedule. There will be Jenni time and study time, but not too much study time.”

“What about too much Jenni time?” You smirked.

She frowned at you. “That is not possible.”

You laughed, laying your head back down on her chest. “Anything else?”

“And now it is nap time, because your eyes are falling shut and you slept for three hours last night.” Her arms locked around you, allowing no escape. Not that you wanted one.

“Okay.” You mumbled, squirming slightly until your face was tucked into her neck, blocking out the light of the room. You drifted off quickly, lulled into sleep by Jenni’s hands rubbing up and down your back, and the rise and fall of her chest under you.

Jenni waited an entire hour to order dinner, thinking that she could wake you when it arrived, if you weren't already awake. She got the message that the food had been delivered a half hour after that, trying to wipe the stupid grin off her face at the way you were curled up on top of her. How she could have ever doubted your love for her, she wasn’t sure.

“Amor? The food is here.” She whispered, pushing your hair out of your face enough to see that your eyes were shut, your face relaxed. Giving up ridiculously quickly, she settled into the couch, allowing you to stay asleep. The food could wait. You needed the rest, and your girlfriend was more than happy to be a pillow for you, for as long as you needed her to be.

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as if i would study if i was jenni's girlfriend, and not spend the whole day looking at her like 🙂

#jenni hermoso x reader #woso one shot #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics

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this-is-exorsexism · 8 days ago

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i'm gonna be real with you all. i've kind of been spiralling into dysphoria and internalised exorsexism. as stated in my pinned post, i'm multiply disabled. one of these disabilities is low vision, and i recently finished my O&M training. before that training, i was quite isolated and didn't go out much by myself. now i am able to use public transport and travel to unfamiliar places independently - but going out more also means being seen by more people, being subjected to the binary gaze. as a white cane user, i sometimes have to ask people for help or have people approach me asking if i need help - "don't perceive me" is not an option for me if i want to be safe and independent. there were a few times on my travels where i got misgendered, including very rudely by staff in a shop very loudly talking about my disability as if i wasn't there. and even if it wasn't super often, for some reason it must have really got to me. maybe it's because the top of my undercut now goes past my shoulder and that plus boobs reads "female" to people. i'm fat which makes my curves appear even more. and i like my hair. and i like my curves. and i don't want top surgery. but i hate how the binary gaze reads all of this as female. i hate that people misread my body. i hate that i don't have a chance of ever being gendered correctly because society does not recognise nonbinary people and if i were to cut my hair again they'd call me he which is just as wrong, but at least adds "balance". all the ideas about "privileged theyfabs who don't medically transition" have gotten to me massively. i feel like if i'm so obviously "female" to people i don't deserve to ask for different pronouns, i don't deserve to be out, i don't deserve to assert my gender. i feel like what's the point? being nonbinary in a binary world feels futile. i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i don't want to medically transition (except maybe a hysterectomy if i ever get the money and a surgeon who will operate on fat people). not can't. don't WANT to. i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i can't be bothered to bind. i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i don't mind my body as it is for the most part but see it as nonbinary.i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i look too female to people. i feel like i don't deserve to call myself trans because i'm doing things many people would consider "going back to my AGAB" like growing out my hair, wearing dresses, wearing earrings. i feel like i hardly deserve to call myself nonbinary because clearly i'm not doing enough to "neutralise" my appearance to be seen as anything other than female, i'm "not putting in the effort to pass". i feel like my oppression isn't real while at the same time rationally knowing that i only feel this way because of oppression. i also feel so alone because i never see anyone like me. fat nonbinary people are underrepresented. i never see nonbinary people with visible boobs who don't identify as fem(me). i never see what my style can look like because the only people i ever see in "men's" clothes are people invested in hiding their chest, "androgyny" is either boobless or boobs and beard. people like me don't seem to exist. all of these feelings are very new to me, especially in this intensity. i've been out for nearly a decade and never have i ever felt this much dysphoria and especially this much internalised exorsexism. i always considered myself lucky to not struggle with that too much but here we are. society has finally caught up with me. you can be all condescending and tell me all about "getting into the real world" and how it doesn't accommodate for nonbinary people all you want, how we're asking for too much and act like i'm a naive child who doesn't know the world, how the systemic erasure of nonbinary people is a privilege, idc anymore. so yeah i'm gonna take a little break. as for asks and submissions, keep 'em coming, i'll get to them eventually.

#nonbinary #exorsexism #this is exorsexism

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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 2 months ago

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Cain (p4)

Tw: Cain is really violent, like verbally violent. Tantrums, toxic relationships, isolation from friends and family, sexual content, sexual descriptions, profanity- like a LOT of them, Cain losing his shit really frequently. Gender neutral reader, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

This is part 4.

Click here for part 5

Click here for part 1

Cain tries. He really did.

The first week or so after his earth shattering confession, Cain was elusive. You hardly see him at home, not even for meals. But you know he's eating, because you would leave leftovers in the fridge and it would disappear the next day. You thought he was avoiding you, and you understood, because you practically rejected him at first.

He came back one day, seemingly waiting for you in the living room. To your surprise, instead of only acknowledging each other with a split second glance, Cain tried to make a conversation.

"How was it?" He asked.

You asked him what he meant.

"Your day." Cain continues, looking right into your eyes, which caught you off guard. Usually, eye contact means he's about to stir some trouble up, but you think this time he's actually making an attempt to communicate. "How was... your day?"

You told him that it was okay. Then you asked him about his day.

You could definitely see that he physically stopped himself from responding like he used to. Cain closed his eyes and took a deep breath before answering.

"My day is okay too."

And both of you left it at that, as you did your own thing, he did his own thing... which happened to be reading a book of sorts? Strange, he doesn't seem like the type to even be remotely near words. But you didn't want to pry and potentially get your head bitten off.

"It's cold." You turned to him and finally noticed that he's actually bundled up in a hoodie instead of his usual sleeveless shirt. That made sense, the seasons are changing, and very soon you would see frost on the sidewalk again.

Come to think of it, he has recently changed up his fashion sense to cover up a lot more, adjusting according to the weather. No more ripped jeans, instead opting to wear a pair of thick cargo pants with numerous pockets. He also got himself a new pair of shoes, trading in his tattered sneakers for a new pair of combat boots.

You asked him if it bothers him. Cain seemed to pause and think about his answer for a moment before replying.

"I always hated the fucking cold." He spoke with a sense of dread in his voice. Cain knows that he can't change the weather, and he just needs to tough it out. He has done this for years, ever since he was abandoned in that dumpster. But it doesn't make it easier, and each winter feels as intense as the last. And the worst part is, he doesn't understand why the bites of frost disturb him so much. Cain never found out how he was abandoned by his parents; he only knew that they did.

You nodded and decided to just... put aside a bit more cash for the heating bill. You cranked up the heat enough at home to make it comfortable for him. The water heater is also switched on 24/7 now, even if it does hike up your bills. Sometimes you even think the apartment was a little too warm for your liking, but seeing Cain being a lot less miserable made you suck it up and just wear lighter clothing instead.

And you didn't think much of it, until there was one night, when the wind was howling and all you could see was powdery white outside; You heard a knock on your bedroom door, and you were about to fall asleep in a pair of shorts and shirt, because the thermostat is dialed all the way up that it felt like summer. Upon opening it, you saw Cain towering over you, exuding vulnerability. He's not wearing his hoodie, but a white t-shirt, a pair of comfortable plaid shoes, and warm, fuzzy slippers. You were surprised that he showed no signs of sweating, unlike you, struggling to cope with the artificial heat, yet you do so for the sake of your troubled roommate.

You asked him if he needed anything from you. Only to be pulled into his arms for a tight hug. You were about to say something, but you felt wetness on your shoulder. Cain was crying.

"I don't... I don't know what I'm feeling..." Although muffled, you could hear how pained and conflicted he was.

You patted his back as he let it all out. You were dying to ask him questions, but knowing Cain, it wouldn't get you very far if he wasn't ready to share it in the first place.

"It feels good. I-It's warm." He spoke between sobs. "Please... let me stay."

You didn't understand what gave him the impression that you were planning to kick him out anytime soon. You told him that he's welcome here. And that was all he needed to hear tonight.

And what neither of you knows is that today was his birthday, or rather, the day those bystanders found him discarded like trash. Cain may not remember, but his body does. And it was the first time in his life that he wasn't shivering on this special day.

And Cain is afraid, utterly terrified to lose what he has now. Yet he doesn't know how to keep it. So he latches on, he does his best, he tries.

He slept in the same bed as you that night. It wasn't comfortable at all; his body ran hot. And on top of the running heaters? You felt like you were in a furnace. Cain had his arms wrapped around you at all times, constricting your movements, but he wouldn't budge, no matter how much you squirmed. His hold felt desperate; you could feel the aching yearning he held in his body for decades. Cain would bury his head at the back of your neck, making you wonder if he just liked the feeling of being suffocated by his own breath.

You woke up the next day earlier than he did. Cain was still clinging to you with dried tears on his face. But you didn't have the heart to wake him up, because he looked truly peaceful. Though you didn't have to wait long until he opened his eyes and groggily rubbed them, freeing you from his prison.

You greeted him and asked him how he slept last night.

"Good..." He yawned and stretched his arms. Well, at least one of you had a good night's sleep. Cain doesn't seem to be particularly embarrassed that he reached this level of intimacy with you; hell, he doesn't seem to see it as anything out of the ordinary at all. It's as if he were sleeping in the same bed as you for months.

He got out of bed to freshen up, leaving you to finally reclaim your space and take your turn to doze off. Luckily, today is an off day for you, or you would have gone to work in a sour mood.

"Who the fuck are you all?!" You were jolted awake by Cain's sudden outburst in the living room. You heard extra voices and assumed he had opened the door to someone.

An argument ensued, making you scramble back up on your feet to see what was going on. Upon poking your head out of the door frame, you saw Cain heavily berating someone outside your apartment.

You called him by his name, and that caught his attention. "I don't know who these assholes are, they are not coming in!" He yelled, attempting to shut the door on the visitors.

You caught a glimpse of your long-time friends' confused and horrified faces before he slammed the door loudly against them.

Oh.

You forgot that they were visiting. Shit.

You see that Cain was agitated, threatened, even. He began hurling profanities at them, wishing doom on them, so on and so forth. He was panicking; the only way he could express this was by lashing out and pulling on his already messy, short, fiery hair.

You tried calming him down, but that only made him spiral more.

"They said that they're your friends-- They're nothing! They're nothing to you, they don't fucking matter! They're scum, they're trash!" He screamed as tears streaked down his frenzied face. Cain began hyperventilating, the more you tried to get him to see reason. "I'll fucking kill them, I fucking will!"

You decided to shut up and let him burn all his fuel out. All this while, you were extremely baffled as to what suddenly set him off. You know, Cain could be somewhat decent to strangers; he doesn't go off on the delivery men that sometimes come here to give you your packages or food. He would sometimes even be the one who signed the delivery confirmation form with no issue. Not even door-to-door salesmen would make him erupt like this; at most, he would just close the door on them. Why is he suddenly so territorial?

And as predicted, his explosion ended with him curling up into a pathetic ball of misery on the floor. You think your friends decided to leave you and him alone for a while, you're definitely getting a very concerned phone call later.

So, you did. And you managed to convince that you're okay, and Cain is a good man. It was challenging, but they decided to respect your wishes. Or maybe they also didn't want to deal with that unstable landmine of a person.

You don't think he left the apartment without you during the entirety of winter. He would flare up as soon as he felt a draft, and you wonder if it's a traumatic response to something. Either way, you don't think you should pry if he's not ready to talk about it.

Cain got very comfortable with you now. The sofa bed is left empty, now he goes straight into your bedroom. It doesn't matter if you're purposely hogging the bed, he would either manhandle you as if you're his beloved stuffed teddy bear, or have the audacity to say, "Scoot your ass over."

He developed a habit of possessively wrapping his arm around your waist whenever both of you were out. Instead of waiting for you to move out of the way or barking commands to move aside, Cain would just manually move you by guiding your shoulders or sometimes, your hips.

He seemed to be starved of touches. Whenever you take an afternoon nap without him, you would wake up to find Cain holding you in his arms. And he gets annoyed at you for waking him up. When you would spend the day watching television on the sofa, Cain would either lie his head on your lap, or trap you into his- making you his personal lap table for the bowl of popcorn you two shared.

Cain needed something to occupy his hands. So he chose to massage yours instead to soothe himself. It felt nice to apply pressure to your palm and fingers, but sometimes he wasn't aware how strong he was. You would wince at the pain, which caused him to frown, and spit,

"Fucking wimp."

But then, he would bring your hands to his lips to kiss them, and adjust his strength to not hurt you anymore. He wouldn't outright apologize or thank you for most things, but he has his own way to express remorse, guilt, and gratitude.

It felt... strangely natural. He wasn't making it awkward at all when he transitioned from not touching you at all to giving you regular cuddles, kisses, and even sharing beds. Cain moved like it's always been this way, as if he had always given you a kiss on the forehead before dropping you off at your workplace, as if he had always kissed you on the back of your neck to thank you for the meal. Whenever you stood in front of him to say something, he would have his large, calloused hands gripping your arms in place as he listened. You never knew what the purpose of it was, as he doesn't seem to be aware that he's doing it.

You're not necessarily complaining that whenever the two of you waited at the bus stop, in the cold, he would bury you in his chest. It's ridiculously warm, and he would wrap his heavy coat around both of you. Cain would absentmindedly rub your back up and down, stroke your hair as he remains hypervigilant for any assailants that could attack the two of you. And you would be lying when you said that it doesn't make you feel all fluttery inside.

Cain was willing to open up even more on how he feels about various things. But it was still excruciatingly difficult.

One day, he decided to talk to you about your giving nature. It occurred when you decided to give a homeless man some spare change.

"Why did you do that?" He asked when you and he reached the comfort of your apartment. Cain didn't remove his coat just yet, while you're practically stripping everything off yourself because your heating system is too efficient.

"Why did you give that bum money? He didn't work for it." He clarified what he meant. You can see that he's asking from a place of curiosity, not hostility or judgment.

You shrugged and said that it makes the world a better place.

"How?" He furrowed his eyebrows in frustration.

He would have enough money to buy himself something hot to eat and drink.

"That's bullshit. He's going to waste it on booze and drugs."

You asked him how he would know.

"All these bastards think about is their next high." He frowned bitterly.

You said that everyone can change. You wanted to tell him off for being a hypocrite, but it probably isn't a good idea. He vehemently disagreed.

"No they fucking can't. You're being used, you're being a damn jackass! You should have kept that for yourself, these fuckers can't even give you anything of worth back but have the balls to ask for a handout!" He was getting more and more exasperated by the second.

You decided to clam up.

"They're scum, they're all fucking good for nothing pieces of shit!" He continued his angry ranting as he entered the bathroom to freshen up.

And conversations that were deeper than small talk usually go something like that. You refused to be the one who started chatting, allowing him to take the initiative. It seems like he's jealous that you're also generous to other people, as anytime he sees you doing a good deed, he would be throwing a tantrum about how you're letting others walk all over you.

You can't really do donations under his watchful eyes anymore, because he would find a way to get it back from them and return the cash into your wallet.

He's always the nicest when it's just the two of you, and the concept of the world stopped existing. The apartment is his safe haven where nothing outside matters. He is in no way romantic, but he would be much, much tender compared to when you first met him. However, it is actually agonizing to live with him hovering over you every waking minute. If the shows you watch involve the topic of child neglect or even families in general, no matter how mild, no matter how positive or negative, ten times out of ten, he would have one of his infamous, explosive meltdowns.

Oddly enough, he's mostly unaffected by documentaries, even if they potentially touch on his traumatic experiences. He tends to watch those that describe how everyday things are made, unfazed by true crime.

You avoided nature and animal documentaries because Cain would get unbelievably distressed if they involved the abandonment of their young.

Outside of that, you don't know what else to do with him. Cain seems uninterested in anything creative, but recently got obsessed with chess for some unknown reason. Regardless of your chess skills, he would beat you in almost every game, only losing to you when he first started out.

Perhaps it was boredom. Perhaps it was arousal, but you and Cain would begin to frequently have sex. And he fucks like a rabid animal, forceful, angry, desperate and primal. Cain would leave bite marks deep enough to bleed, as if he's trying to shred you into pieces. The curtains are always drawn shut because of his inclination to go down on you anywhere in the apartment. He has no problem bending you over the kitchen counter, making your legs spread on the sofa bed, pinning you against the wall, pounding you deep into your bed, letting the sound of the shower drown out your moans... The only place that's off limits is whatever table that held his valuable chessboard and pieces.

And you know that it just takes a deep kiss on the lips to initiate it, where both of your tongues must dance together. Cain would escalate quickly by rubbing his hands under your clothes. But he wouldn't press it if you decided that you're not in the mood anymore; he would just need to deal with his disappointment and sexual frustration on his own, in pure silence.

Cain doesn't say anything when fucking you. There will only be grunts and groans, but no dirty talk. Probably since he's too busy biting the hell out of your flesh.

His aftercare is a bit strange to you. It would be a strange mix of his usual harshness and an unusual dose of sentimentality:

"Get up." He would order you after a long session of post sex cuddling. Knowing him, you shouldn't oppose it.

"Go shower. I'll clean up." He began chucking the blankets, bedsheets, and pillow cases into the laundry hamper. Once he's done and sees that you're still there, he would turn to you and give you an affectionate peck on the forehead.

"You've been so good to me." He then squeezed the cheeks of your face firmly, causing you to pucker. Cain would chuckle at how silly you looked before kissing you lightly on the lips.

"I love you." He would whisper in your ear before letting you go, patting your head in praise.

However, if you just stood there and watched him ready the laundry basket, he would get annoyed.

"The fuck are you doing there, standing ass naked? Either put on some clothes or go take a damn shower." He would point in the direction of the bathroom. This would be enough to send you on your way.

Overall, you think Cain is a confusing man with moods that swing like a pendulum. You don't think he really feels shame towards you, just familiarity, trust, and comfort. And you feel honoured that you get to see his sweet side (sometimes), no one else outside of this apartment could ever hope to witness it, as he's just so spiky towards everyone. You're still so curious as to what sets you apart from all the other people who tried to help... You assume that Cain does have people who tried putting him on the right track in his life, but he pushed them away.

So one day, you mustered the courage to ask him about it. Expecting nothing more than some deranged yelling, you braced yourself:

"They shoved their help down my throat."

To your surprise, his response is as if you asked him for the time. Your speechlessness prompted him to continue.

"I fucking hated them. None of them really wanted to help me; they just wanted to feel good." He scrunched his nose as if he recalled something disgusting. "To them, I'm nothing more than a broken pet to fix. Something that should get no respect. Something practically useless in everything else, but gets them off like some street whore."

That sounds similar to what you thought of Cain. But you didn't say that out loud.

"They can take their fake sympathy and shove it so far up their asses that it kills them. Fuck them all." He snarled.

You let him release whatever steam he had for them. Well, that made sense that he gets crazily upset when you try to impose help without his request in the first place.

Once he's done, he decides to get up from his seat and pick up his now-worn duffel bag. You didn't have to ask him where he's heading out to.

"I'll be back by eight, I just need to get some stuff. Leave your bedroom door open for me." He pecked you on the cheek and smoothed your hair.

You watched him open the door and turned back to face you one more time:

"And don't fucking open the door to anyone that isn't me! You have a habit of doing stupid shit that's going to get you killed if it wasn't for me looking out for you!" He scolded before slamming the door behind him.

You wonder if Cain thinks of you as someone needing his protection, and so that's why you're not a threat to him but an object of his affection. You sat with this question, and you pondered if Cain genuinely thought of you as someone who is handicapped in some way. Made sense, your boundary-setting skills are non-existent, and you're always people pleasing, no matter how detrimental it is to your wellbeing. That's how you scored Cain.

Finally home alone after a while, you felt a little clueless as to what you should do. You know you should update your friends and family that you're doing well, and Cain is nothing they should worry about. Then again, you don't feel like talking to anyone right now.

The apartment looks pretty messy, with all the random junk Cain would bring back. God knows where he gets this merchandise, or where he got the money to buy it. You are actually in heavy denial that he's been shoplifting and wanted to believe that he's living honestly.

You thought it would be a good idea to tidy up a bit before he gets back and unloads more things from his duffel bag. It's a mystery how that bag could contain ungodly amounts of stuff.

You decided to start with the most cluttered part of your living room: the sofa bed. You know these are things that Cain would use daily, but it wouldn't hurt to organise them a bit.

The first thing that caught your eye? The book that Cain was attached to lately, and was almost obsessively reading. You wonder what was so interesting about it until you read the cover of the book.

It was a copy of "How to Be a Good Boyfriend".

#yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere concept #tw yandere #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc x reader #yandere x darling #oc cain #male yandere x reader #male yandere x you #tw toxic relationship #tw violence #tw sex #gender neutral reader

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wetbatinthenight · 9 months ago

Text

dad, who notices that you are starting to branch out and make friends in your clubs and isn’t liking the fact that his control on you is slipping.

dad, who doesn’t realize him constantly isolating you from your peers (except your loving dad and your mom who aids and believes in his beliefs too) since preschool doesn’t mean you don’t want connections.

you, who are now successful in school, in student council or debate or anything of the sort and now are trying to explore friendships outside of mandatory meetings and fundraising.

dad, that has always doted and babied you a bit but also puts pressure on you to do well and follow the rules, don’t mess up.

dad, who always has conflicting rules, you need to be independent and trustworthy but why can’t he do everything for you? dad, who wants you to be a successful and accomplished child of his but doesn’t let you hop on opportunities unless he allows you to (often school sanctioned where chaperones are everywhere, there has to be some sort of reasonable adult).

dad, who picks you up from school, if you don’t walk home or bus home, picks you up and all the school moms whisper about him (how charming, how mysterious, how dependable he probably is, how strong and intimidating he is, who is charming and people would not expect he wasn’t a normal handsome guy. family, who no one knows too much about and keeps the inner circle small, surface level coming off as the perfect family.

dad, who even now struggles with boundaries, also wanting to cuddle or snuggle. and you, who isn’t a touchy cuddly lovebug like you used to be, still struggling with expressing your emotions (even if you sometimes even want to accept his affection). he loves you and misses being able to connect with you. he never thought he would have a child but then he met your mom, and here you are, an extension of their love and his most precious thing.

dad, who isn’t sure what to do when he starts losing his influence, thinking to himself if he should get stricter (maybe he needs to check through your room more often when you are not home, or place stricter curfews, maybe having you home by seven is too late in the night).

dad, who always wants you to check in with him and spend time with him even though he is intimidating and awkward but also manipulative and charming, something you did not realize when you were a kid because you thought he was a regular loving dad.

you, who after learning more about people your age starts to wonder if the things your dad (and by extension mom does) is normal. it is all starting to feel off to you, making you nervous because you always blindly listened to your dad. I mean cmon, sure your dad was always…quirky, but he was your dad and he knew what was best, right? .

dad, who slowly starts to baby you more and more, trying to take care of your needs whether you like it or not. no, he can get you an after school snack after you walk through the front door (where he waits for you everyday if he isn’t busy at his job). it starts subtle at first.

dad, who immediately, like usual, asks if you spoke to anyone today, if you behaved like should’ve today, if you slept enough, if you are hungry. he doesn’t seem to mind when you interact with school staff.

dad, who immediately makes you sit on the couch and gets you something to eat, after making you give him your school bag and rummaging through it to make sure you don’t have anything you aren’t supposed to (even snacks or candy from peers).

dad, who always in monitoring you, making sure you do not interact with anything rated-R or anything he deems inappropriate, including the books you read. Say goodbye to whatever sci-fi or too intensely gory books you want to read (unless you read them at lunch or a free period at the school library like the clever thing you are).

dad, who starts to slowly try to regress you, even if he isn’t really aware of it at first. he just wants his good little child back, is that so wrong?

dad, who starts to display behaviors and if you ask about them, starts to gaslight and coo (compared to his old tactics) at you and redirect you to something different.

dad, who is manipulative, cunning, intimidating to most. dad, who most people would not suspect would engage in violent behaviors to ward off any “dangers”.

dad, who isn’t afraid to get rid of any “issue” he believes will come in between his and your family’s future.

dad, who of course was also not afraid in his youth to take severe actions towards conflict for your lovely mom, his sweet and caring wife.

dad, whose heart melts inside for his family, his lifeline, who wants to do what his believes to right for his family.

an: check out my page for more works!

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sinfulspencer · 10 months ago

Text

Safe place

Prompt: After working on a hard case, Spencer takes comfort in your body.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Rating: angst, mature (18+, minors DNI)

Warnings: friends with benefits dynamic, dom/sub dynamic, Sub!Spencer, Domme!Reader, dirty talking, praise kink, light hair pulling, titty sucking, breast play, oral sex (fem!receiving, male!receiving), fingerfucking, rough sex as a coping mechanism, breeding kink, unprotected sex, creampie

Words: 4.6k

A.N.: Is it obvious that I have a thing for Sub Spencer? Also, a massive thank you to my friend @snixkers for beta reading this for me. This was written for @imagining-in-the-margins's FWB challenge.

MY MASTERLIST. MY GUIDELINES. SEND A REQUEST. MY TAGLIST.

I wasn’t surprised to find Spencer on the doorstep at midnight.

He was drenched in water and the look he had on his face was obvious: he needed something to ease his mind, to focus on someone else for a few hours. His mind was a whirlwind of something that he wasn’t going to explain to me and he needed a distraction; a good one, at last.

“Everything okay?” I dared to ask

Spencer shrugged and stepped inside, closing the door behind his back. “Not really, but I don’t want to talk.”

I knew exactly why he came to me, his eyes immediately shifting on what he wanted. His gaze was focused on my chest and I nodded my head: fooling around with Spencer didn't seem such a bad idea. I had an intense day as well, and an orgasm or two would’ve definitely helped me ease the tension clearly clinging to my bones and my joints.

Spencer took off his coat and hung it behind the main door, then he followed me in the living room. I was wearing a boring pyjama but Spencer didn’t seem to mind, he needed something else that required no clothes on. Despite our agreement to have a close friendship with benefits, sometimes we didn’t really need the friendship part - like that night. We didn’t need to talk, we just needed physical comfort.

And I was happy to provide that for Spencer, especially if it involved his mouth all over my neck and my breasts to ease the tension in my own body.

“Do you want me to…”

I pulled the small ribbon on my chest and Spencer nodded his head, helping me remove my shirt without speaking. I knew what he wanted, but I needed to know that he was ready for it and most importantly, he truly wanted it.

Spencer caressed my shoulders with both hands, kneeling on the floor between my thighs as I sat down on the couch but close to the edge. My chest was pressed to his and Spencer was happy to feel my breasts against his body, his mouth already nipping and licking the bruises he had left a few days before on my throat.

The love bites all over my skin were fading, but Spencer could still see them and create new ones that he’d dream about for the rest of week.

“Do you want to do it in this position?” I asked

Spencer shrugged, his hands now moving down to my exposed chest. I couldn’t care less about wearing a bra because I was not supposed to have guests, but Spencer appreciated my bare breasts. He didn’t want to waste time struggling to open up a bra.

Sighing, I brought both my hands behind his neck. Spencer was beautiful, I had no reason to deny that, but he was also so troubled, so upset; I didn’t blame him. His job was awful and he was constantly bombarded with horrific videos, images and information about the worst crimes that humanity could commit.

And somehow, he chose me as his safe place.

Spencer decided to come and find me each time he didn’t feel good, each time he felt too good, each time he just needed someone to be there for him - whether in a physical or emotional way.

“Bedroom.” Spencer whispered

Following him where he wanted to spend the rest of the night, I laid down on the bed and it didn’t take long for Spencer to lay on top of me. He had undressed so quickly I barely registered it. And once he was on top of me, he left kisses all over my collarbones, nipping at my throat once again while his hands caressed my waist and then the outside of my thighs.

His fingers were gentle across my skin, just like his lips - feverish kisses were peppered down my chest. Spence had his eyes open the whole time and I could see the desire flash behind them when I placed my right hand behind his head. My fingers snuck through his soft hair and I tugged on it, forcing him to look back at him. .

The lustful gaze he gave me was enough to bring a smirk over my lips.

His body reacted to my harsh tug easily: his cock hardened against my inner thigh, and I moved my leg to give him some friction. Spencer bit his bottom lip and his grip on my thighs became tighter, as he dug his fingers into my skin.

“Go on, sweet boy. Do whatever you want.”

Spencer stared at me and nodded his head. “Can I?”

I hummed, pulling on his hair again. “I said that you can do whatever you want. Go on.”

A soft whimper fell from his lips, a sound that I play in my head over and over when I pleasure myself all alone. There was nothing better than to hear Spencer whimper, moan and whine because of me, of my hands, of my mouth, of my cunt, of my body. It was enchanting to see how his body reacted to anything I gave him.

Propping myself on the plush pillows of my bed, I closed my eyes while Spencer struggled to set between my legs. He hooked his right arm underneath my waist to push my body against his. Spencer nuzzled his face against my chest and I ran my fingers through his curls, not wanting to hurt him any further.

He deserved a motherly touch that night, a gentle caress on his face as he worshipped my chest with his mouth and his tongue. Spencer’s face was pressed to my chest and I bit my bottom lip when I felt his teeth sink into the soft skin between my breasts, leaving the first mark of the night.

“You’ve been so stressed lately, sweet boy.” - I whispered, - “But now you’re safe with me in my arms, in my bed.”

Spencer dragged his tongue from the bruise forming on my skin down to my right breast and I hummed softly, moving my eyes down to his face. He knew that I enjoyed having my breasts played with and what was better than giving someone physical pleasure while, in return, receiving both physical and emotional pleasure?

Spencer was a whore for my touch, but also from my voice and the honey-coated words that fell from my lips each time we were together. He loved when I sweet-talk to him after a tough case and that was exactly what I was going to do.

“I have missed you so much today.” - I added, - “I’ve thought about you all day, how tired you must’ve been but now you’re with me. And that makes me so happy, sweet boy.”

The sound of my voice seemed to soothe Spencer, though the lust was clear in his actions.

“Did you miss me, Spencer? Did you think about me?” I asked

Spencer nodded his head, his lips never leaving my skin. “All the time. Think about you, your tits, your cunt, how good you taste.”

It wasn’t strange to hear him use bad words, but it was endearing. Spencer was always so sensible, so delicate in the way he spoke but with me he just couldn’t care less. He was direct, dirty, disgustingly exciting and that turned me on more than I could explain.

“Oh, so desperate for me, sweet boy.”

Spencer smiled against my skin. “You know it.”

I fixed his hair when a curl attempted to fall down on his forehead and I sighed, waiting for Spencer to give in to his own desire. He was always careful when it came to me, terrified that he’d go too far and I appreciated that. When I opened my eyes, however, I saw an eagerness that almost left me breathless.

Spencer was burning with a flaming desire.

“What’s wrong, sweet boy?”

His lips quivered. “Can you.. please..”

Spencer pawed at my left hand and placed it upon my own breast. He was eager to have me in his mouth, but I had to offer myself to him and not the other way around. Spencer liked the image of me offering my body to him and I wasn’t going to complain; that image was exciting for me, too.

Pressing my left hand underneath my right breast, I offered my chest to Spencer’s and his lips quickly closed around my nipple. His tongue rolled all over it, focusing on the tip before he started to suck on it slowly, lazily, gently. His face was pressed to your chest and his other hand was clinging to your waist now, still digging his fingers into your skin.

He was clinging to your body like it was an anchor and he was lost at sea.

“There you go, sweet boy. You always make me feel so good.” I reminded him

Spencer glanced up at me, but didn’t answer. He didn’t want to because that meant his mouth would’ve pulled away from where it was and he couldn’t have that. Oh no. Soft whimpers came from him as I closed my eyes again, enjoying the warmth of his tongue now pressing against my nipple.

The pleasure was slowly biting me from the insides, but I stayed quiet. It was a struggle to focus on his own desire, but I made it happen. I wanted Spencer to enjoy himself before ordering him to fuck me however he pleased to forget the miserable days we both had.

Spencer rolled his hips against my leg and I felt his cock pressing to my inner thigh, leaving a trail of wetness across my skin.

“Are you happy now, sweet boy?”

Spencer mumbled something. “Missed your tits.”

I chuckled, running my fingers through his curls again. “Hm, I can feel that.”

He went quiet again after that to focus on the pleasure that sucking my tits and touching me all over gave him. Spencer used his other hand to massage my other breast and I moaned softly, guiding his mouth exactly where I wanted him to be.

“Nobody can do this better than me, sweet boy. You know that.” I whispered

Spencer nodded his head, sucking on my right nipple before he pulled away and went to give his attention to the other one. A string of spit snapped back on his chin and he looked up at me, his cheeks bright red.

“I wouldn’t want anybody else.” he replied

With his free hand, Spencer started to play with my right nipple while his mouth closed around my left one. His tongue began its torture, while his thumb and his index rolled and pinched my right nipple.

“I know, I’m the only one who can take good care of you.” - I responded, struggling to hold back a moan when Spencer softly bit my nipple, - “Ah, ah. Careful.”

He nodded his head and gave me an apologetic look, before sucking on my nipple. Saliva was dripping down his chin and staining my chest, but I didn’t really care. All that mattered was that Spencer was happy, satisfied and horny.

His tongue lapped my nipple over and over, before Spencer shifted to the other one. And again, he started his torture: he sucked, nipped, bit my nipple and caressed it with his tongue ‘til it was hard in his mouth. And it felt good, but it was also pure torture.

“Nobody knows you the way I do, my sweet boy. So strong, so powerful, so smart outside but here in my bedroom…” - I smiled down at him, - “Here you are my helpless, eager to please and always needy for me sweet boy.”

Spencer whined and looked up at me, nodding eagerly - his eyes were full of lust and I knew that he was done with my breasts. He proved my point so easily as he pushed his body against mine again, his cock achingly pressing to my inner thigh.

“Let me take care of you.” - I stated, earning a positive response from him in the form of a moan, - “Lay back down for me, sweet boy.”

Rolling on top of him, Spencer laid down on the bed with his hands now clinging to my waist but his grip quickly slipped when I settled between his thighs. I needed to give him something more, I needed to pleasure him and also give pleasure to myself and I knew exactly how to do it.

From between Spencer’s thighs, I saw him close his eyes as he waited for whatever I was willing to give him. He was always so patient with him, so excited for a single touch from him.

His naked body was glorious to look at and I felt blessed every single time he allowed me to see it. My hands travelled down his chest and they settled on his hips, while I admired his cock twitch under my gaze. It was hard and leaking, which prompted me to lean forward and take the tip in my mouth.

Spencer hissed at the sensation and his eyes fluttered: he stared at me with his lips slightly parted and I smiled at him.

“What, sweet boy? Do you see something that you like?”

Spencer groaned in pleasure and fell back on the bed, his eyes now closed.. My fingers wrapped around the base of his cock and slowly I started to jerk him off while my tongue lavishly lapped at the tip. I was still resting back on my heels and focused my gaze on Spencer’s face, sucking his cock like I was meant to be doing.

There was nothing better than to please Spencer because the sounds he made just sent pleasure jolts straight between my thighs. It was enchanting to see Spencer react to the pleasure that I was bringing him with my mouth, with my touch, with my body.

I flattened my tongue underneath the tip of his cock before I slowly pushed him inside of my mouth - inch after inch, I took him with the tears pricking in my eyes. Spencer released a strangled moan when he hit the back of my throat, feeling my cheeks close around his cock. Engulfed in the warmth of my mouth, Spencer snuck his fingers through my hair and pulled it so harshly that I almost cried.

That felt so fucking good.

Pulling away from his cock, spit coated my chin and I brushed the back of my hands on my cheeks to wipe the tears away.

“Did that feel good, sweet boy?” - I asked, my voice filled with delirious lust for him - “Did you like it when I took your pretty cock into my mouth?”

Spencer frantically nodded his head. “Hm, yes. Yes.”

He was staring at me with his lips parted and I gave him a small smile, before returning to focus all my attention on the most precious part of his body. His cock slid on my tongue and I sucked on it lightly, moaning softly when Spencer’s hand gripped my hair again. He didn’t pull my hair, but he was anchored to me as I moved my mouth up and down his shaft to slick it with my own spit.

Spencer was a panting mess and I fucking loved it because it was all my fault. After all, he came to me for some comfort and I was bringing him more than that.

“Stop, stop. Please.”

His voice caught me off guard and I quickly pulled away from him. My chin was covered in spit and my lips were red, bruised.

“Everything okay?”

Spencer nodded, breathing hard. “Need your cunt. Now. Please.”

Struggling to hold back a laugh, I nodded my head and moved to Spencer’s side. It was endearing to see Spencer completely out of his mind with lust - his hands roamed all over my body as soon as I was laying down on the bed and he could get on top of me, again. His mouth found its way to my neck and soon, his teeth sunk into my skin to leave marks that were making my knees tremble.

“Of course you need my cunt, sweet boy, but you have to prepare me first.”

Spencer didn’t waste any and he spat right between my thighs, on my cunt. It made me giggle: that was pure desperation to have me. Usually he took his time to finger me, to eat me out but that night he was just desperate to be inside of me. Collecting his own spit and the essence of my pleasure, he sunk two fingers inside of me and slowly scissored them to stretch me. It felt good, but what I needed the most was his cock - I was just as desperate as him.

His mouth quickly attached to my nipple again and I gripped the bed sheets, whimpering.

“Fuck, Spencer.”

Spencer curled his fingers inside of me as he sucked on my nipple, torturing it with his warm tongue. I knew I was going to have little bite marks all around my nipples, but they were so worth it.

My breath was rugged and I felt my chest tighten, a sign of my impending orgasm that I struggled to hold back. I placed my hand on his forearm and whispered to him to stop, which he immediately did. I didn’t want to come on his fingers, I didn’t want my pleasure to end there.

I just wanted Spencer inside of me before I lost my mind.

When Spencer pulled his hand away from my cunt, he used his fingers to smear my own wetness all over his cock. The sight was so erotic and dirty that I could’ve come if I wasn’t so desperate for Spencer’s cock. I needed someone to paint that scene for me so that I could hang it on the bedroom door.

“Can I spend the night here?” Spencer asked

I nodded, not really wanting to kick him out after a good fuck. “Yes, of course.”

His lips twitched into a smile as he forced me to lay back down on the bed. His hands were gentle on my shoulders and when he leaned closer to my face, I was hoping that he’d kiss me but he didn’t.

Another stupid rule that we set when we decided to become friends with benefits.

I was starting to hate that fucking rule because Spencer’s lips were too pretty not to be kissed, nipped and sucked on. However, a kiss was definitely too intimate for me - especially if given during missionary or something.

Weird, given the fact that I was allowing Spencer to be inside of me as deeply as he could, but that’s how we both felt with kisses.

“Good. Then, I’ll wake you up with my tongue.”

Giggling, I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer. “Oh, don’t threaten me with a good time sweet boy.”

Spencer positioned on top of me and with no hesitation, he slid his cock up and down my folds to gather more of my essence. I bit my tongue and stared at Spencer the whole time, admiring him - and he did the same.

It felt like time had stopped every single time that our eyes met.

But I couldn’t let myself go in such a way, so I forced myself to roll my hips and lift it high enough for Spencer to sink into me with no resistance. However, Spencer took his time to thrust inside - slowly, painfully slowly. Inch by inch, he filled me and I saw stars exploding right behind my eyes.

Goosebumps rippled all over my arms and I released a strangled moan, throwing my head back when Spencer finally bottomed out.

“I’ve missed your cunt, oh God.” Spencer whispered to me

Our lips were so close and I had to physically restrain myself from kissing him by scratching his back. My nails draw lines all over his skin and I didn’t really care if I made him bleed. I needed to calm down, to focus on the pleasure rather than the intimacy of the moment.

I hated how each time we seemed to grow close to one another because feelings were extremely scary for both of us. I didn’t need to get caught up with them again.

Spencer melted against my body and he hid his face in the crook of my neck, slowly rutting inside of me. I closed my thighs around his waist and moaned softly, allowing Spencer to get all the pleasure that he could while also giving it to me - it felt wonderful to feel his teeth nipping at my throat and his curls tickling my skin.

Despite his mouth pressed to my chest, I could still hear the low groans and grunts that came from Spencer. They were music to my ears.

Spencer pressed me down onto the bed as he thrusted in and out of me, picking up his own pace. The position I was in, with my hips up in the air and Spencer kneeling between my thighs, was perfect - it had me tethering on the edge of pleasure and pain, a delicious limbo that I have learned to love with Spencer.

“God, sweet boy.. so good.” I whimpered

Spencer pulled away from my chest, leaving a trail of saliva between my breasts. He looked down at me as he kept thrusting in and out of me - a brutal, rapid pace that almost didn’t allow me to breathe right. I didn’t want to if it meant that Spencer was feeling all the pleasure that he could take from me.

“You were made for me.”

I didn’t know if he was being serious or if it was just the haze of passion that blinded Spencer and made him dizzy, but it didn’t matter. His words were enough to bring me closer to the edge. Deep down, I was just like him - I basked in his praise, in the knowledge of my body being what gives Spencer pleasure.

My whole body erupted with goosebumps and I dug my fingers into his back, whining his name over and over. Spencer had his right hand between my thighs, massaging my clit with the tip of his thumb, and his other hand on my knee. He was keeping me in place, watching me as I came undone underneath him.

My orgasm hit me harder than I expected.

“Let me prove that to you, sweet boy.” I whispered in return to his words

Spencer knew exactly what I meant by that and his breath became uneven, his thrusts even harsher and violent. I didn’t want him to stop: the pleasure soon morphed into pain and I begged him for more. I started to roll my hips to match his rhythm, not caring that my whole body was shuddering with pain and pleasure at the same time.

Every sensation was heightened, the pain was so strong that it quickly morphed again into a stinging pleasure that made it difficult for me to breathe right.

“Come inside of me. Please.” I mumbled

Spencer groaned at my words and soon, he was fucking me harder and harder into the mattress. His body towered on top of mine as he pushed down, almost crashing me against the soft mattress of my own bed. Spencer was hunched over me, his lips a little too close to mine as more moans and grunts fell from his mouth.

I closed my thighs again around his waist, earning another whimper from him. He loved when I’d cage him against him, forcing him to fuck into me without pulling out - not even for a moment, not even for a second. Spencer kept whispering to me that he missed me, that he wanted to be with me every single night, that he couldn’t wait to come home and fuck me - and God, did that feel fucking amazing to hear.

And when Spencer finally reached his release, I felt his warmth spill deep inside of me. I clung to his body with all the strength that remained in me and Spencer hid his face in the crook of my neck, again.

His hot breath caressed my skin as he came down from his high, slowly rutting into me to feel all the pleasure that he could. His body was warm on top of mine as I released my grip from him.

I was trembling, still hazy from my own orgasm. It was always a struggle to come down from mine and Spencer’s activity. I barely realised that he walked out of my bedroom to grab something to clean me up.

“Are you sure I can stay here for the night?”

Spencer handed me a warm washcloth and I cleaned myself up as best as I could.

“Yes. Why wouldn’t you?”

He hesitated and I knew what was going through his mind, because it was the same thought that appeared in mine. I knew we had our agreement and the nights we spent in the same bed could be counted on a single hand, but still.

“I don’t know. Maybe things can get… weird.”

“They’ll get weird if we let them get weird.” I responded

Spencer nodded, running his fingers through his curls all messy. “Right.”

I decided to change the topic. “I hope you feel better now.”

“Much better. I needed this. I needed you tonight.” - Spencer said with a smile, standing next to my bed, - “I think our agreement might be the best I’ve ever made with someone.”

Chuckling, I got out of bed. “Hm, good. I’m glad you think so.”

Spencer followed me to the bathroom and we prepared for bed, though I felt his eyes burning on my skin the whole time. Exhaustion was written on both our faces and I craved my warm and bouncy mattress. I needed to lay down and rest my legs, my arms, every inch of my body.

We returned to my bedroom and we laid together in silence. I didn’t want to break the quiet bubble between us, I was constantly worried of always saying the wrong thing - I didn’t want to scare Spencer off. I was staring at the ceiling when he grabbed my hand and brought it up to his mouth, leaving kisses all over my knuckles.

“You’ve been strangely sweet today.”

“Is that so weird?” Spencer asked

I chuckled, turning to the side to face him. “Oh no, it’s not weird. I just wonder why.”

He pulled me closer to his body. “I just missed you, that’s all.”

“Remember that you can always come here when you need me.” - I reminded him, laying my head on his chest, - “It’s a safe space.”

Spencer pressed a kiss on top of my head. “Your cunt is my safe space.”

I went quiet for a moment, not knowing if I could laugh. Spencer was dead serious, or at least his tone was. And when I look up at him, he had that usual annoying smug smirk that made my knees tremble every fucking time.

I bursted out laughing. “You’re disgusting.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Well…”

“But you’re a good fuck so you’re excused.” I added

I leaned my head back on his chest and took a deep breath, enjoying the warmth of his body flushed to mine. Spencer ran his fingers through my hair and soon enough, I drifted off to sleep.

Spencer considered my body his safe space, but he was mine as well.

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saintshadow · 3 months ago

Text

Why is Venus retrograding in Aries dragging you by the hair?

PILE ONE

Because you are so unbalanced in how you give and receive love. You struggle to find balance perhaps between yourself & others. Either giving TOO MUCH of yourself or too little of yourself. Hot & Cold emotions & tendencies, black & white thinking. You're becoming more self aware as a result of this retrograde Venus. I heard Venus return, so some of you could be Aries venuses. You could also be a Libra placement, 7her, cancer, or capricorn placements as well.

You're seeing another side of yourself, and you're starting to realize that you're not who you think you are.

That isn't a bad thing either, in fact it's a good thing. Because you are realizing that you are more worthy more valuable, more YOU. My friend is currently playing the album from Britney Spears breakout "I'm an adult" album, and while I'm not well versed in that particular era of her career- I WILL SAY, maybe you are being dragged to reannounce yourself.

You're recreating or crafting something about yourself, I also heard denying instant gratification. This Venus retrograde is trying to purge you of addiction to instant gratification. If you can master this lesson you will unlock something new in your career. 🥰🤞🏻

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PILE TWO

Because you struggle to receive, you desire and yet you reject what it is you truly want. You don't know the difference between discipline & self isolation or starving yourself of what you want. To enjoy the splendour of your love life, of food, sex, WHATEVER it isn't a crime.

Go after what you want and take it, Venus retrograding in Aries is asking you if you're going to be a doormat about it or if you're gonna get up and tussle.

It feels like you struggle to accept or allow others to love you, it's a very broken defense mechanism. The reality is that YES people can hurt or betray you, but you are robbing yourself of joy & pleasure by pushing everyone away & punishing people who genuinely love you due to your inability to cope with the intensity of your subconscious fears.

Youre being forced to make the decision to sink or swim psychologically/emotionally. Either you push yourself to love and receive love, or you go through the same set of lessons AGAIN.

🤷🏻‍♀️

If you enjoyed this reading you can cop a full length personal for 15$ 😸

PILE THREE

To be honest the breakdown of this pile is really interesting.

So it seems to me as if you are essentially being pushed to the brink. While it may feel very intense and like a punishment, or as if you're going through extreme emotional losses or ups and downs this is actually helping you break past a barrier that you have created & to show you that you are stronger than you think.

And through the destruction of this barrier you're going to gain access to Divine blessings, that you have been begging for for quite some time. Now of course, it's not just going to be handed to you and thrown into your lap. You have to work for it, you have to shed blood sweat and tears for it. This Venus retrograde is trying to teach you the reason for your hard work. It's trying to show you the value of your hard work and I think that sometimes as we are going through the process of doing that work we don't always feel like it's working or we don't feel like we're seeing what we want to see.

We must first make the internal changes to see it trickle into the world around us.

This Venus retrograde is about finding your power and bringing what you desire to you.

It's basically a check-in that is meant to help you shed old skin and purify yourself for a new beginning.

No longer is there need to speak upon the past, or to live in the past. The time to release is now, the universe knows & sees your intentions but you must do the transformation on your own this time.

The training wheels are officially off honey buns.

If you enjoyed this reading you can cop a full length personal for 15$ 😸