#but a lot of them are tweets/texts posts that apply and are very funny To Me

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

41 & 85 😌

41. what is the weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

I’m going to go story in general, because the fic ideas I’m willing to talk about on here are all pretty tame. I have this short story idea floating around in my head about this woman who has to physically take her face off with a scalpel and put on a different face depending on who she’s talking to. It’s a fairly obvious metaphor, but also decently weird, I’d say!!

85. what would be on a moodboard for one of your WIPs?

I took this too literally and made a mood board. Oops? This is for In The Heat Of It All (formerly known as my plane crash au)

[googledocsdyke]

thinking incredibly earnestly about like why i unironically love bite me (a google slides social media au) as much as i do and why it’s so fucking funny and i think a huge part of it is that it lays bare the process of total decontextualisation that generally is at work within the self-contained world of like, fic in general. like, in many ways most fic is the same fic. i think we can generally agree on this. obviously there are like fics that transform the way you view the source text, or fics that generate their own world and fandom (down to agincourt), or fics with profound complex thematic engagement (so says the sword) or fics that have their own specific cult status (my immortal, twist and shout). but like the reason the fic ecosystem chugs along, the reason bajillions of fics are posted to ao3 every day, is because of the kind of fic that is so clearly based off other fic, maybe just shifted 2 degrees to the left.

like fanfiction IS by and large a repetitive medium that is often primarily interested in working off and re-articulating very widely accepted tropes. think of all the largely identical 15x20 fix-it codas you may have read. or this harry potter au i wrote when i was fourteen years old that could not have ANYTHING less to do with the actual characters dean, cas, or charlie as written in-show, or even like, anything to do with hogwarts as a setting. there was NO reason it needed to be a harry potter au. why the hell were the x-men there? there was no characterisation. the presence of potions homework, and gryffindor dean, and “charlie ships it,” were all just empty signifiers towards a narrative that i knew better from reading other fics than from watching the show itself. actually, i think at this point i hadn’t even watched any charlie episodes, but you wouldn’t be able to tell! because i lifted my concept of charlie wholesale from other fics that asserted that this was her “characterisation” and her place in the story. like it Was a 1600-word exercise in copy-paste, which is what large amounts of fanfiction are and historically have been. and is so fundamental to why we keep coming back to them

and i’m not saying this as like. a normative or “judgmental” statement in any way! i think there’s no point in insisting that all fic be like. deeply grounded in discrete characterisation or a sincere engagement with the complex themes of the original text, or whatever. firstly because a) most people writing fic ARE young teens/young adults who do so as a kind of participatory gesture, a low-effort way to signal their earnest investment in a particular ship or imagined narrative, and b) decontextualisation is like… at the beating heart of what fanfiction is. like most fanfiction is not “literary” (in huge skeptical quotes bc of how contested that very term even is) but it also feels like it’s a mistake to… ask it to be? i’m thinking along the lines of this post, where gothhabiba asks that we “articulate an actual theory of how and why fanfiction is created, its relationship to other kinds of media and writing, and what it does for the people who write and read it,” rather than “arguing about whether or not it’s ‘good’” . because that is truly a moot point!

i think as most of us return for the renaissance, some 6-7 years older, we’re now at the point where we’re able to engage (more) critically with the substantive text of the show, the actual themes it engages and (mis)handles, the cultural context in which it was produced, the texts it builds off of, intentionally or unintentionally, and the critical frameworks we can apply to it. and all of that is like overall a very good and interesting thing!! but it’s also so interesting when paired alongside the decontextualising impulse that drives a LOT of fandom engagement

ANYWAYS. all this to say that like 95% percent of the joy of bite me is how unapologetically ooc it is. like this is the continuous thing i’ve been talking about other people with. you could copy-paste any characters from any broadly popular media into this situation and the characterisation/speech would be no more or less jarring; it would still make the same amount of “sense” from an in-universe perspective. nothing about this au is really about dean and cas so much as it’s about decontextualised figures LABELLED dean and cas (and again, this is not some literary condemnation or smth, the majority of fic does this in some way! i’m just using bite me as an example). we are told to believe that sam winchester, a grown white man & published author, says “yall wildin” unprompted and that kaia nieves tweets things like “oomf famoose” and it’s fucking hilarious. it’s so good. because intentionally or not, it DOES reveal how much of fic, as a genre, is utterly separated from the characters they propose to be telling a story about.

i said earlier today that bite me is a social media au written in a riverdalian fashion, and i don’t just mean that in a general “it’s bad but good but outrageous” way, but more specifically that both bite me and riverdale decide on something objectively absurd and instead of shying away from it or trying to cover up the writer’s lack of knowledge, it faces it head on. like we ARE told unapologetically and continuously that actors live in their trailers when they’re filming a movie, that a hashtag trending for one day is enough to get a magazine writer that hasn’t been accused of sexual misconduct fired, that dean and cas are starring in a gay romantic comedy called fucking trainspotting. and the writer doesn’t/won’t/shouldn’t apologise for a word of that. in the same way that riverdale will look you dead in the eye and say “archie is going to war and world war ii-era combat aesthetics never ended even though it’s 2020” or “jughead got into the iowa writer’s workshop despite never having been an undergrad” and like what are you supposed to do? make fun of it?? the text doesn’t CARE if you make fun of it! it’s light years ahead of you! it’s so totally unconcerned with this “realism” you’re supposedly chasing that the joke doubles back on you.

so like tldr: bite me is emblematic of the decontextualising urge at the heart of your average fanfiction, lays bare its own ridiculousness, and raises genuinely fascinating questions abt what fanfiction as a text is meant to be or do. also kaia and claire fall in love on stan twt. UNPARALLELED media experience

[mcmansionhell]

Coronagrifting: A Design Phenomenon

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled content to bring you a critical essay on the design world. I promise you that this will also be funny. 

This morning, the design website Dezeen tweeted a link to one of its articles, depicting a plexiglass coronavirus shield that could be suspended above dining areas, with the caption “Reader comment: ‘Dezeen, please stop promoting this stupidity.’”

This, of course, filled many design people, including myself, with a kind of malicious glee. The tweet seemed to show that the website’s editorial (or at least social media) staff retained within themselves a scintilla of self-awareness regarding the spread a new kind of virus in its own right: cheap mockups of COVID-related design “solutions” filling the endlessly scrollable feeds of PR-beholden design websites such as Dezeen, ArchDaily, and designboom. I call this phenomenon: Coronagrifting. 

I’ll go into detail about what I mean by this, but first, I would like to presenet some (highly condensed) history. 

From Paper Architecture to PR-chitecture

Back in the headier days of architecture in the 1960s and 70s, a number of architectural avant gardes (such as Superstudio and Archizoom in Italy and Archigram in the UK) ceased producing, well, buildings, in favor of what critics came to regard as “paper architecture.” This “paper architecture” included everything from sprawling diagrams of megastructures, including cities that “walked” or “never stopped” - to playfully erotic collages involving Chicago’s Marina City. Occasionally, these theoretical and aesthetic explorations were accompanied by real-world productions of “anti-design” furniture that may or may not have involved foam fingers. 

Archigram’s Walking City (1964). Source.

Paper architecture, of course, still exists, but its original radical, critical, playful, (and, yes, even erotic) elements were shed when the last of the ultra-modernists were swallowed up by the emerging aesthetic hegemony of Postmodernism (which was much less invested in theoretical and aesthetic futurism) in the early 1980s. What remained were merely images, the production and consumption of which has only increased as the design world shifted away from print and towards the rapidly produced, easily digestible content of the internet and social media. 

Architect Bjarke Ingels’s “Oceanix” - a mockup of an ecomodernist, luxury city designed in response to rising sea levels from climate change. The city will never be built, and its critical interrogation amounts only to “city with solar panels that floats bc climate change is Serious”  - but it did get Ingels and his firm, BIG, a TED talk and circulation on all of the hottest blogs and websites. Meanwhile, Ingels has been in business talks with the right-wing climate change denialist president of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro. (Image via designboom) 

Design websites are increasingly dominated by text and mockups from the desks of a firm’s public relations departments, facilitating a transition from the paper-architecture-imaginary to what I have begun calling “PR-chitecture.” In short, PR-chitecture is architecture and design content that has been dreamed up from scratch to look good on instagram feeds or, more simply, for clicks.  It is only within this substance-less, critically lapsed media landscape that Coronagrifting can prosper.

Coronagrifting: An Evolution

As of this writing, the two greatest offenders of Coronagrifting are Dezeen, which has devoted an entire section of its website to the virus (itself offering twelve pages of content since February alone) and designboom, whose coronavirus tag contains no fewer than 159 articles. 

Certainly, a small handful of these stories demonstrate useful solutions to COVID-related problems (such as this one from designboom about a student who created a mask prototype that would allow D/deaf and hard of hearing people to read lips) most of the prototypes and the articles about them are, for a lack of a better word, insipid. 

But where, you may ask, did it all start?

One of the easiest (and, therefore, one of the earliest) Coronagrifts involves “new innovative, health-centric designs tackling problems at the intersection of wearables and personal mobility,” which is PR-chitecture speak for “body shields and masks.” 

Wearables and Post-ables

The first example came from Chinese architect Sun Dayong, back at the end of February 2020, when the virus was still isolated in China. Dayong submitted to Dezeen a prototype of a full mask and body-shield that “would protect a wearer during a coronavirus outbreak by using UV light to sterilise itself.” The project was titled “Be a Bat Man.” No, I am not making this up. 

Screenshot of Dayong’s “Be a Batman” as seen on the Dezeen website. 

Soon after, every artist, architect, designer, and sharp-eyed PR rep at firms and companies only tangentially related to design realized that, with the small investment of a Photoshop mockup and some B-minus marketing text, they too could end up on the front page of these websites boasting a large social media following and an air of legitimacy in the field. 

By April, companies like Apple and Nike were promising the use of existing facilities for producing or supplying an arms race’s worth of slick-tech face coverings. Starchitecture’s perennial PR-churners like Foster + Partners and Bjarke Ingels were repping “3D-printed face shields”, while other, lesser firms promised wearable vaporware like “grapheme filters,” branded “skincare LED masks for encouraging self-development” and “solar powered bubble shields.” 

While the mask Coronagrift continues to this day, the Coronagrifting phenomenon had, by early March, moved to other domains of design. 

Consider the barrage of asinine PR fluff that is the “Public Service Announcement” and by Public Service Announcement, I mean “A Designer Has Done Something Cute to Capitalize on Information Meant to Save Lives.” 

Some of the earliest offenders include cutesy posters featuring flags in the shape of houses, ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home;” a designer building a pyramid out of pillows ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home”; and Banksy making “lockdown artwork” that involved covering his bathroom in images of rats ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home.” 

Lol. Screenshot from Dezeen. 

You may be asking, “What’s the harm in all this, really, if it projects a good message?” And the answer is that people are plenty well encouraged to stay home due to the rampant spread of a deadly virus at the urging of the world’s health authorities, and that these tone-deaf art world creeps are using such a crisis for shameless self promotion and the generation of clicks and income, while providing little to no material benefit to those at risk and on the frontlines.

Of course, like the mask coronagrift, the Public Service Announcement coronagrift continues to this very day. 

The final iteration of Post-able and Wearable Coronagrifting genres are what I call “Passive Aggressive Social Distancing Initiatives” or PASDIs. Many of the first PASDIs were themselves PSAs and art grifts, my favorite of which being the designboom post titled “social distancing applied to iconic album covers like the beatle’s abbey road.” As you can see, we’re dealing with extremely deep stuff here. 

However, an even earlier and, in many ways more prescient and lucrative grift involves “social distancing wearables.” This can easily be summarized by the first example of this phenomenon, published March 19th, 2020 on designboom: 

Never wasting a single moment to capitalize on collective despair, all manner of brands have seized on the social distancing wearable trend, which, again, can best be seen in the last example of the phenomenon, published May 22nd, 2020 on designboom:

We truly, truly live in Hell. 

Which brings us, of course, to living. 

“Architectural Interventions” for a “Post-COVID World”

As soon as it became clear around late March and early April that the coronavirus (and its implications) would be sticking around longer than a few months, the architectural solutions to the problem came pouring in. These, like the virus itself, started at the scale of the individual and have since grown to the scale of the city. (Whether or not they will soon encompass the entire world remains to be seen.) 

The architectural Coronagrift began with accessories (like the designboom article about 3D-printed door-openers that enable one to open a door with one’s elbow, and the Dezeen article about a different 3D-printed door-opener that enables one to open a door with one’s elbow) which, in turn, evolved into “work from home” furniture (”Stykka designs cardboard #StayTheF***Home Desk for people working from home during self-isolation”) which, in turn, evolved into pop-up vaporware architecture for first responders (”opposite office proposes to turn berlin's brandenburg airport into COVID-19 'superhospital'”), which, in turn evolved into proposals for entire buildings (”studio prototype designs prefabricated 'vital house' to combat COVID-19″); which, finally, in turn evolved into “urban solutions” aimed at changing the city itself (a great article summarizing and criticizing said urban solutions was recently written by Curbed’s Alissa Walker).

There is something truly chilling about an architecture firm, in order to profit from attention seized by a global pandemic, logging on to their computers, opening photoshop, and drafting up some lazy, ineffectual, unsanitary mockup featuring figures in hazmat suits carrying a dying patient (macabrely set in an unfinished airport construction site) as a real, tangible solution to the problem of overcrowded hospitals; submitting it to their PR desk for copy, and sending it out to blogs and websites for clicks, knowing full well that the sole purpose of doing so consists of the hope that maybe someone with lots of money looking to commission health-related interiors will remember that one time there was a glossy airport hospital rendering on designboom and hire them. 

Enough, already. 

Frankly, after an endless barrage of cyberpunk mask designs, social distancing burger king crowns, foot-triggered crosswalk beg buttons that completely ignore accessibility concerns such as those of wheelchair users, cutesy “stay home uwu” projects from well-to-do art celebrities (who are certainly not suffering too greatly from the economic ramifications of this pandemic), I, like the reader featured in the Dezeen Tweet at the beginning of this post, have simply had enough of this bullshit. 

What’s most astounding to me about all of this (but especially about #brand crap like the burger king crowns) is that it is taken completely seriously by design establishments that, despite being under the purview of PR firms, should frankly know better. I’m sure that Bjarke Ingels and Burger King aren’t nearly as affected by the pandemic as those who have lost money, jobs, stability, homes, and even their lives at the hands of COVID-19 and the criminally inept national and international response to it. On the other hand, I’m sure that architects and designers are hard up for cash at a time when nobody is building and buying anything, and, as a result, many see resulting to PR-chitecture as one of the only solutions to financial problems. 

However, I’m also extremely sure that there are interventions that can be made at the social, political, and organizational level, such as campaigning for paid sick leave, organizing against layoffs and for decent severance or an expansion of public assistance, or generally fighting the rapidly accelerating encroachment of work into all aspects of everyday life – that would bring much more good and, dare I say, progress into the world than a cardboard desk captioned with the hashtag #StaytheF***Home. 

Hence, I’ve spent most of my Saturday penning this article on my blog, McMansion Hell. I’ve chosen to run this here because I myself have lost work as a freelance writer, and the gutting of publications down to a handful of editors means that, were I to publish this story on another platform, it would have resulted in at least a few more weeks worth of inflatable, wearable, plexiglass-laden Coronagrifting, something my sanity simply can no longer withstand. 

So please, Dezeen, designboom, others – I love that you keep daily tabs on what architects and designers are up to, a resource myself and other critics and design writers find invaluable – however, I am begging, begging you to start having some discretion with regards to the proposals submitted to you as “news” or “solutions” by brands and firms, and the cynical, ulterior motives behind them. If you’re looking for a guide on how to screen such content, please scroll up to the beginning of this page. 

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If you enjoyed this article, please consider subscribing to my Patreon, as I didn’t get paid to write it.  

[shijiujun]

On Translations

Once again, I’m just plain incensed by dumbasses who think it’s okay to firstly, steal someone else’s hard work and secondly, think they’ve got some right to edit that person’s work because they think they’ve got a better grip on English (not true btw) - It didn’t happen to me (well, as far as I know) and I’m not in the Guardian fandom and I don’t personally know the person who’s dealing with this ridiculous shit, but oof am I angry after seeing the tweet.

Just saw on twitter that some asshole stole a translator’s works (Guardian, Chinese to English) and edited it - Yes it’s just like the MDZS saga a few weeks ago when some white person who doesn’t have any Chinese language knowledge, tried to ‘improve’ translations done by another person who actually knows what they’re doing in both Chinese and English - And then put in on Wattpad with a ridiculous letter and intro where they said: “Great things can be made greater” to explain why they edited the English of the original translation.

“Great things can be made greater,” said the thief.

“I hope my actions will be appreciated,” said the thief again.

Like wow, once again, the audacity - There’ve been extensive arguments on translations since the MDZS saga a few weeks ago and obviously the fan who took ExR’s translations and ‘made them better’ stupidly stepped on a landmine by fucking with the MDZS fandom that has a longer history, more resources and clout than the amount of time she’s been exposed to MDZS via CQL, and got bitch-slapped by the rest of the fandom where there exists a majority of fans knowing clearly what to do and not to do.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said of all fandoms, especially smaller ones - The user i saw is a translator for Guardian and the mofo 1. Stole their translations 2. Edited the translations to ‘better english’ 3. Wrote that they don’t know who did the original translations but “they know where to find me” *cue my eyeroll* 4. And after op commented to say please credit at the very least in May, they’ve been ignored so far - but luckily they’ve got some supporters as well to help report the mofo.

Aside from the ridiculous thievery (not crediting, blatantly lying and stealing, being an arrogant, indecent person stuck on that high horse) of course, the “I believe that great things can be made greater” is a fucking load of bullshit in this instance, and I mean taking someone else’s translations and adding your own spin to it because you think you’ve taken tests in English as a first language in school all your life (fuck off, a lot of these translators did too), that you’ve got some superiority over English or because you think it reads funny?

Granted, most fan translators don’t put up flawless translations (once again, these translators are FREE LABOUR), but you get it for free and you don’t have to (and can’t) read the original text, so suck it up.

Moreover, the disgust that I feel at the claim that the thief’s work is now ‘greater’ is extremely visceral - It’s not a greater piece of work because the thief stole it, period. No one asked for the thief’s help.

(In case you guys are curious the stolen post on Wattpad is here: https://my.w.tt/7dehLj7D56 and if you’d like to report just follow the instructions)

On Chinese to English translations:

1. If you don’t have good grasp of the original language, you have no right editing the translated work after, regardless of language. Until you can clearly understand the original idioms, context, characters etc. or have at least lived with the language for a substantial part of your life, honestly, just stop, you’ve got no right! 

Sure, some translators aren’t as good as you like them to be, but the argument is always, well, you wouldn’t even have this minimal translation if they didn’t do it, so yay you’re like a few sentences and words closer to the text than you were before. If it’s really that bad, hopefully there are better translations and you can ignore the one you’re looking at, but the same rules apply across all translations!! Don’t disrespect the translator (especially when they’ve done nothing wrong except try to give you access to more content).

2. For Chinese, it’s even worse because the language is known for its hidden nuances and complexities within just two to four characters that, when translated into English, can sometimes take up to two long sentences to explain. That’s why sometimes shit reads funny. It’s not that these translators can’t do English, but Chinese to English acrobatics is beyond your comprehension, hell sometimes it’s beyond translators’ comprehension, so thanks for editing something you’ve got no idea about. This user Bee made a very good argument thread IMO about this on Twitter which I suggest people read

3. Adding your edits to a translated piece of work especially without permission or discussion with the translator, honestly who the fuck are you to do that? Either work your damn ass off by painstakingly translating the original and then editing it however you like, or just... enjoy the free content. Chinese BL novels (in this instance and as in many instances i’ve seen) and some of these translators have been around for longer than you’ve been in the fandom, so suddenly when you have an interest in the content, in a culture and language that you’ve never seen before, are unfamiliar with and have zero knowledge about, you think that as a fan you now have the right to edit someone else’s work that was already done correctly? 

The fact is if the translator wrote a bogus line in the English translations, you wouldn’t have known, and when you upload it as your own and ‘improve’ it, you would be a joke, but you didn’t read the original text did you, so what makes you are any sort of authority to edit the translations?

4. Of course this is not to say that non-Chinese speaking people can’t enjoy the same content or have excellent, poignant discussions and understanding over the content, but honestly a lot of translations don’t capture 100% of a Chinese novel because the nuances are just that complex, and translators do their best to convey it regardless - This is why RESPECT FOR THE TRANSLATOR IS IMPORTANT. And I don’t mean simply paying lip service and typing “we respect all translators for their hard work on this work”, and then disrespect it entirely by not crediting, by the simple act of editing without permission etc.

Respect their interpretation and translations, because it can differ from translator to translator translating the same sentence (and people who don’t speak the original language want to compete with that, I don’t understand?!)

5. Honestly, considering how people are still arguing on the semantics of the Bible for example, not only in its original language but also in English alone - if people can’t agree on every sentence of the holy text and what each sentence means to different people, fan translators get a fucking pass

6. I read in Bee’s threads where someone disagreed with their argument of ‘only people who understand the original language can translate and edit’, saying that it’s okay if the editor doesn’t have a grasp of the original language - I understand that yes, someone else’s English might truly be better (for e.g. actual editors but also please don’t proclaim that you’re one just because you think the translator hasn’t lived with English for most of their lives or whatever), but even then, the editor has to work really closely with the translator because the translator is the primary source of the translation i.e. they know exactly what is going on in a particular sentence in their heads that may not have been translated fully, so how can non-Chinese reading editors truly understand the translated text on its own, editing in silos?

7. Perhaps in actual publishing houses that deal with official translations, this is a fallacy that is ever-present and editors do that anyway without understanding the original text (not sure about this, I’m bringing up the point for consideration, hypothetically putting this out here), but my issue with ‘editors’ in the fan translations space is that they come off sitting on some high horse because they think they’re better in English than you are (which of course yes, might be true, but then read points 1-6 again)

8. A thief is a thief, don’t put up an open letter or disclaimer explaining your motivations. It’s plain and simple, you stole someone else’s work, claimed it for your own and are riding on the great (sometimes not so great but still great, if you get what I mean) work that the translator did. You don’t get to claim ownership for any part of it, even your edits. And once again, “original work belongs to the translators” without actually naming the translators? Fuck off.

9. God, I hate Wattpad and Instagram (okay sometimes Twitter but Twitter seems to be a halfway point) - The Sanctuaries for Lazy Content Thieves Where The Platform Endorses Their Shitty Behaviour

10. Aside from translations, I’ve also seen assholes stealing like shitposts and jokes - These are the hardest to prove as well and it’s almost impossible to claim ownership when someone steals your jokes. Thieves only wish they had as creative a brain as some of you (didn’t happen to me but to a mutual) do. The audacity. The audacity! if the work was actually done and paid and recorded, if TurnItIn.com was available for fandom posts, these thieves would be out of gas.

11. Fan translators are not obligated to answer to any of their readers when it comes to why they translated something a certain way. You don’t like it or don’t agree with it, simply ignore, close the tab and go find another translation you like, it’s that simple. Nowadays readers 1. Threaten/Diss the translator directly and rudely 2. Steal the work 3. Add their own spin on it without understanding the original content and say: Yay! Look at this I made it so much better so give me some attention 

*****

The point of this post is not to claim ownership over any fandom or content just because translators or Chinese-speaking/reading people in the fandom know the content better. It’s also not to say that non-Chinese speaking/reading people can’t enjoy, understand, have great discussions over original Chinese content, because just from MDZS alone you can see that they can. Of course there are also individuals who might not be able to speak the language but are familiar with Chinese culture etc. because they’ve studied or lived it well, or maybe they’ve actually watched decades of Chinese drama to be able to analyse it properly now, all that’s awesome. 

Also, I’m all for people who are learning Chinese (or any language for that matter) to translate something as practice. That’s great, that’s good, that’s to be admired!! 

It’s non-Chinese speaking/reading people who claim they know the original content better than translators without any discussions, claiming some superiority over the content because they think the translation is not done well enough without doing any of the ground work that I really have an issue with (and also the fuckers who steal of course XD).

*****

And unfortunately I had too much time on my hands today and got pissed off after seeing the tweet so some of you have to read through this drivel XD

[itsclydebitches]

You know what I think is funny, fandom loves to throw "the animation and writing teams don't work together" as a reason we can't read into different things happening onscreen (Which regardless, that's really stupid, since acting/animation/intonation of the lines/etc can impact the way the story is perceived). But they're also the same ones talking about how the animation is showing the little love things between Blake and Yang and other small tells we see that shows the team hasn't changed much.

This is a problem with all analysis and something that everyone is inclined to do (simply because we all have our opinions and we all want to be right lol). At its most basic, it’s pointing to certain events in a story as proof of an argument while simultaneously ignoring other events that disprove it. We see this all the time when people discuss characters they like/don’t like: you’ll either get a list of all the good qualities or a list of all the bad, with the “analysis” refusing to engage with that other list. Once you move past that roadblock - once you train yourself to consider everything in the text, even when it’s frustrating - you get more complex readings. The stuff that says, “Yes, on the surface it looks like this character has all these bad qualities too but we need to take context into account as well. Like the fact that when they did this Bad Thing someone was blackmailing them into it whereas they did this Good Thing of their own accord.” Or, “Yes, this character has a mix of Good and Bad qualities so maybe we should be acknowledging a more nuanced reading of their morality rather than insisting ‘They’re the devil’ or ‘uwu they’re a baby who did no wrong’” The purpose of analysis is for the text to drive your argument, not for your argument to drive the reading of the text. When something doesn’t fit well you need to take that into account and re-evaluate your thesis. You don’t ignore/twist that wrinkle in an effort to maintain the argument you first started out with. Which is why you analyze the text first and come up with the thesis second. 

Now yes, apply all this to the animation issues. We cannot simultaneously say, “Aspects of the animation prove that Blake/Yang is becoming a thing” as well as, “It doesn’t matter if we saw Clover wink at Qrow. That’s meaningless.” Authorial intent does have some bearing on how we read this, in that we’ve gotten confirmation that some animation choices - like Oscar running down the hall before punching Neo - were mistakes, but in order for that to fully drive our reading of the show as a whole we’d need confirmation regarding every single piece of animation. Did you mean for Ren to look sad in that scene? Were Blake and Weiss supposed to exchange that glance? Is it a mistake that this character rolled their eyes or was that, unlike some other things, intentional? Unless we get a comprehensive list of every animation choice - which we will literally never have for obvious reasons - analysis must function under near absolutes: either the animation has meaning or it doesn’t. Pick one and stick to it (though preferably pick the former because, as you say, of course our visuals impact the reading of the show. They were always supposed to!) You cannot say that the animation choice is full of meaning when Ren and Nora cast loving glances because you adore them as a ship, but then claim that the animation choice to have Yang, Weiss, and Blake draw their weapons on Qrow is meaningless because you don’t like the idea of the girls doing something awful and having to grapple with that. Anything else is just the behavior of the first paragraph, emphasizing the things you like because they support the arguments you also like, while failing to either a) acknowledge these other aspects at all or b) explain how they don’t actually undermine your argument like they appear to at first glance. That’s why I acknowledge the ramifications of Ironwood shooting Oscar. It doesn’t matter how much I hate it, it exists in the text and needs to be taken into account (work a). It’s likewise why I explain in detail why arguments about the Ace Ops losing aren’t persuasive. They initially look persuasive, but poke at them a bit and you’ll see all the holes (work b). 

For the record, this stuff is really hard. There’s a reason why we take classes in analysis. There’s a reason why you study for 6+ years before you’re considered good enough to start publishing papers. These trends - particularly ignoring parts of the text or trying desperately to twist them into something that fits your original argument, rather than revising the argument to fit the evidence - are all mistakes that everyone makes when they first start analyzing things. I did! And those mistakes will seem very persuasive to others who don’t practice analysis enough to recognize when they - or others - are repeating those trends. Which is how you end up with posts arguing non-persuasive or even nonsensical things but are praised extensively. You have to learn how to spot those mistakes and learning how to avoid them is even harder. It’s not just a skill but a kind of mental fortitude. In order to produce persuasive and compelling analysis you have to be willing to potentially chuck your argument in the bin at any given moment. It’s a lot like science that way. Oh, something just disproved our theory? That sucks but we can’t ignore this new evidence just because we spent years chasing something else. We can’t allow personal desires to overcome facts. (Though that’s not to say the chase was wasted. The mere act of working through “wrong” arguments is an important part of hitting on the “right” ones.) 

For the record, this kind of difficulty with critical thought/rhetoric is the same reason why dangerous bigotry like “Getting vaccines will give your child autism” or “Accepting trans people will lead to women getting attacked in bathrooms” take off. Those are both arguments, but the people consuming them often don’t know how to work through the evidence provided to decide if that argument is persuasive - or even know to look for evidence at all. They stop after reading the statement, taking it as an automatic fact, just like a newbie writer in their Freshman high school course may write out a thesis and think that’s it. What do you mean I have to prove it? What do you mean my proof is subjective, unsubstantiated, and is ignoring other pieces of evidence? It’s not proof at all? Oh... It gets particularly difficult when you chuck in the sheer complexities of most political situations and add in a dash of learning that the mere existence of some evidence (“evidence”) doesn’t automatically outweigh all the rest. A perfect example being: 

Don’t be that woman. But all that takes time to learn and it requires the ability to admit you were wrong. Sometimes about small things (“Oh yeah, I forgot that happened!”) as well as about incredibly massive things (“Shit. I’ve been basing my identity around this inaccurate concept and using it to hurt many, many people...”) Both of which are needed to create compassionate human beings who, by default, are not born knowing All The Things Ever. Thus, this is why analyzing “stupid” shows like RWBY isn’t the useless activity that many would prefer to paint it as. If you can learn how to critically engage with what people say about your favorite show, you’re developing the same skills needed to critically engage with, say, what the president is currently tweeting about...

ANYWAY, that’s a bit more of a deep dive than the ask probably meant to produce. But here we are :D

[calamariimpossible]

Magicians on the internet, crypto, and the email that broke me.

This is a continuation of a twitter thread that Muz (@mzkrx) started to write out in his car but then when he plotted out his thoughts, it made more sense to him to put it down in a blog format rather than a thread. You'll find out why as you read through.

Stuck in the car for half an hour so I'm gonna do a thread (Editor's note: Now a whole-ass blog post) about a strange email I got recently.

So I was casually watching magic tricks on YouTube. the funnest part of which to me is reading the comments. YouTube commenters love explaining how they think the trick is done and it's fun to read through their theories and connect dots between similar tricks, etc.

And then one time as I was scrolling I noticed a comment that didn't make sense. It was a string of an almost sentence. Intelligible enough to not be random words but odd enough to read like a trigger phrase for something.

The closest I can describe it as is like the string Zemo used to wake up the Winter Soldier, but with some syntax to it. Like "many thermos wiggle throughout exotic harbinger of circle ascending fuchsia entrapment".

Initially I thought nothing of it, but then I kept seeing them in these magic trick video comment sections. They're never the same string, and it's always under magic trick videos. from different channels even.

Hmmm.

The profiles that posted these comments are also always blank accounts with zero videos and no profile pic. Just their name. I felt like it was too much of a coincidence for these comments to only be under magic trick videos.

I also knew that the world of performance magic is thick with secrets. That is to say, there is deliberate obfuscation of information whenever you try to go online to find out how a trick works.

Magicians get together online and share information with each other just like performers of every other sort as well but the amount of code and doublespeak they use is an order of magnitude more annoying to decipher compared to say, an engineering message board or a gamedev forum.

Knowing that, I thought maybe this almost parsable gibberish I keep seeing everywhere was also some kind of code these people were using to talk to each other.

So I started investigating.

First things first, let's just Google one of the phrases. Maybe that's enough?

And it sorta was.

Pasting them onto the search bar lent me to only 1 result (wild!) and it was a website that looked really dank. Like geocities dank. Annoying neon colours and badly margined jpegs of tarot card images everywhere and a big bold header text that said something to the effect of:

"Congratulations, you've found our hidden message. This portal is only for those seeking knowledge beyond what is on the surface. Continue below."

* * *

I haven't been doing well. I feel like I say that too much. I say it on Patreon, on my personal podcast, whenever any of my friends ask me how I'm doing, pretty much everywhere. I feel very heavy. I understand I'm not the only one feeling like this during a pandemic.

Duh.

But I have this other version of worry that I can't quite articulate until right now: I'm scared I won't be funny anymore. Anwar and Farid can attest that even during our recordings I don't feel up to being funny. I question my jokes a lot. I barely enjoy telling them. I'm worried I'm letting everyone down.

To me, silliness and absurdism as virtues only make sense when the world has trace amounts of injustice and wrongness that training ourselves to see it in our everyday helps us remind ourselves of what is just and fair. The more we consume silliness, the more we are able to recognize silly and point it out. So we don't ignore it when things go wrong, so we talk about it, manage it. So we can take care of each other.

Maybe I can't be sure if we're all up for taking care of each other right now.

* * *

"Continue below" seems instructive, but it wasn't. Like I mentioned, the margins were haphazard and the CSS was all over the place. Some jpegs were straight up cropped off.

Meaning I can't be sure what "below" meant. But there were clickable images and text so I was readily intrigued.

It was tantalizing. Did I stumble into some secret order of Extremely Online Magicians? Maybe I'll finally find out why there aren't many female magicians out there. Maybe it's some sort of secret initiation to a secret message board full of secrety secrets. Secretly.

Y'all.

I didn't click on any of the linked images or anything. I closed the tab. That was the end of that.

An earlier version of myself would gladly run headlong into this rabbit hole to find out more and sink hours into some goddessforsaken labyrinth of links. But the current version of me recognizes this for what it almost certainly is: an abandoned roleplaying game.

Back in the early 00s when the internet was the realm of nerds and nerds only, it was full of people who loved sharing things for sharing's sake. It used to be punk rock to maintain a blog that only talked about snails or have a lo-fi YouTube channel that uploads biweekly 3-minute news about your house, or manage a little message board where people roleplay as wizards who rummage around the net looking for clues.

That last part was a thing I remember being actively involved in. In '03, a group of online friends and I wrote up a scavenger hunt of sorts where we sent people through various blog pages that we have where the goal is to just dick around and have fun. We wasted each other's time for sure. Hundreds of hours of it for literally no gain at all but for some laughs and fun memories.

The internet isn't like that anymore. People don't share something online for sharing anymore. Not really. There's this idea that if you put stuff out there, you want people's attention because numbers are good. You get a lotta reblogs and RTs and Likes which means people Like you.

If you don't have a lotta numbers, you don't matter. If you do, everyone has to talk about what you said or did because it's 'News' now.

Isn't that kinda gross, you think? That we need people to interact through an app to be sure that we're Liked? I say "we" but I mean me. I've successfully poisoned my brain to believe this to a certain extent too and it's not good.

I felt myself physically react when I closed that geocities magician website tab. I shuddered because my brain went from "this is cool" to "I gotta let people know I found this" to "this'll get me hella RTs" to "ew Muz why did you think that" within 3 seconds and I was disgusted with myself.

As a dude who started my online presence on YouTube and parlayed it into my real life comedy/writing career, I've believed for a long time that doing good work and putting it out there is what it takes for a working creative to make it because that's what I did. So there's this idea that making stuff and having it be seen is some kind of virtuous.

But it's not anymore. People pick fights with children for clout. Newspapers post about people's tweets as if its important. People are investing in crypto, a thing that literally only exists as electrical waste on a grand scale. We're boiling the oceans to yell at each other over nothing and exchange bits of code everyone agrees has ever-rising value but doesn't. Everyone is making and eating junk, it feels like.

So am I making junk? Have I just been making useless junk for literally over a decade now? Is that what I've been good for this entire time?

* * *

So the email.

It was a response from a company I applied to for a job. I applied as a creative writer and they're an advertising agency.

Receiving emails from a prospective employer when you're in need of a job is exciting! So soon after I applied, too. Wonderful. Here's what it said:

We just received your application today but would love to extend the opportunity for you to participate in the Case Competition as a prerequisite of your job application for Creative Writer position with [REDACTED] and stand a chance to be a winner for cash awards up to a total worth of RM1,800.

Yea.

They want me to enter a competition where I compete with other candidates to get a chance of being hired.

This company saw how many people applied for a job with them, and decided to dangle some cash and throw it over the fence to see which candidate will fight for it the most.

I didn't expect to feel vomitous after reading an email but that did it. I almost dry heaved. That's where we are now.

Recruiters see a glut of applicants and decided to play Fall Guys. These people watch Istana Takeshi and think Takeshi is the good guy. It hurts. It hurt me. That email caused me pain.

I can't at all empathise with recruiters who think this was okay to do. They really believed that creative writers will do a little dance for them just for money.

Look, I know we all need to eat. But I can also hate that people undervalue the work of creatives to this painful extent.

I don't give a shit about earning a lot of dough. I just wanna make things that tickle people. I want you to smile more.

That's the whole point of that weird little YouTube comment that led to the quirky website. That's the whole idea of making silly videos and dumb tweets and memes. We just want you to laugh.

But it seems people think so little of joy that they'll do whatever they can to avoid legitimately supporting and paying for stuff that gets them through the day. So much so that they want free work from us for the potential of maybe being able to get paid for more work. It breaks me, man.

I hate that I cannot make a living just trying my best to make people happy.

That's the best way I know to take care of you.

I know I don't just 'make junk' for a living. People have messaged me personally that my work has helped them get through tough times in school, in their relationships, at the office and I am eternally grateful that they took the time to tell me that.

I just also wish my feelings about my work aren't easily brought down by the majority of people who insist its worthless. Even if sometimes those people is me.

So forgive me if I won't be funny for a while. I'm gonna need some time to process this. Thank you for reading. I love you.

[captaindaddykru]

you hurt the ones you love (i don't believe that)

for @obviesbellarke based on this photo ;)

Raven has always prided herself on her work ethic. She didn’t come from much, her parents did not plan on having a child which about described her relationship with them, and she worked part-time jobs ever since the goverment allowed her to. (Since they put her in the system and the system failed her, she felt like she could pretty much do whatever she wanted to the system. So sometimes she repaid the cards they dealt her by doing some not so legal hacking into college databases to slightly change rich frat boy GPA’s and make some extra cash.) 

It paid off, because now Raven works for NASA and she didn’t even apply for the job. They asked her to come work for them. Who can say NASA asked them to come work for them? Raven Reyes can. Why? Because she is a certified genius who worked her way through high school, and college, and a master degree, and still managed to look halfway attractive, get in thirty minutes of exercise a day and keep a semi-active social life throughout it all. 

She loved her job. She did, but—but it also meant long days, a lot of overtime, even more time spend on business trips and conference calls. If it wasn’t for her boyfriend Zeke working in the same building as her, she’s pretty sure she would never see him either since she barely ever goes home. She just happened to luck out and get the most amazing, understanding and supportive friends in the universe. 

Besides, after spending half her life ‘being friends’ with Finn—who fucked her over and ghosted her after mere nine days apart at different colleges—Raven has come to learn what real friendship is. Emori tags her in a meme at least every other day, Harper brings over fresh vegetables from her and Monty’s garden whenever she looks extra pale and Clarke dutifully keeps her up to date on all her favorite shows she has zero time to watch. They’re as real as it gets. 

Hence, when things start to cross over from a strong work ethic to borderline workaholic slash inevitable burn-out and her boss Sinclair forces her to take two weeks off, she is disappointed when the first three people she asks to hang out on her first free Saturday night that year already have plans. They barely hear from her in months beside a quick ‘what’s up’ in their group chat before she falls asleep on her couch every Saint Glinglin and they have the audacity to not keep their nights free in case she might ask them to hang out sometime? Assholes. 

Since Emori and Murphy are out of town (probably robbing a house or something, she still doesn’t know what they do in their free time), and Harper and Monty have dinner with her parents, Clarke is up next. Raven texts her asking what she is doing that weekend, opening up a bottle of wine before padding over to her living room without a glass. She deserves the entire thing. Raven starts up Netflix on her smart TV while she waits for her friend to reply. 

Twenty minutes deep into an episode of Homeland, her phone buzzes annoyingly on the armrest. 

CLARKE [8:51 PM]:

who’s number is this?

RAVEN [8:54 PM]:

very funny griffin. drinks on saturday?

It takes a surprisingly long time for Clarke to answer her text, even though she isn’t a notorious bad back-texter unlike her boyfriend. One time like two years back, Raven asked Bellamy if he wanted to chip in on Murphy’s birthday present and he still hasn’t replied to this day. She’s pretty sure he isn’t even aware of the fact iMessage exists.

Raven has almost single-handedly finished off a bag of Cheetos before her phone buzzes again. She unlocks her phone to find a photo of a pregnancy test staring back at her, balanced precariously on what she assumes is Clarke’s knee, like the night terrors she used to have in middle school, terrified to end up like the other girls in her neighbourhood, sure a boy even looking at her could knock her up. 

RAVEN [9:08 PM]:

so no drinks then???

The reply comes faster this time, Raven sure that Clarke was just jumping for her to something. Anything.

CLARKE [09:09 PM]:

i just found out and my first instinct was to grab a bottle of beer, i’m fucked

She’s not sure what Clarke wants from her here—that one always had more up her sleeve than expected—a congrats or a condolences, so she settles on the safe middle of comic relief. 

RAVEN [9:10 PM]:

who’s the father?

CLARKE [09:10 PM]:

seriously?

RAVEN [9:11 PM]:

what? thought you two went to that swingers club the other month

CLARKE [09:14 PM]:

that was a teacher’s conference. he begged me to come

RAVEN [9:15 PM]:

i thought YOU begged HIM to come and now we’re in this whole mess?

A reply doesn’t come for two minutes, and then three, and when the clock ticks closer to five minutes, Raven decides to dial her number. It switches over to Facetime, but the screen is black, static commotion of the phone being moved around the only sound between their two devices for a good ten seconds. Finally, she asks, “Clarke?” 

“I didn’t plan for this, Rave,” is the first thing out of her mouth, and Raven has to bite back a smile. Clarke is such a in-the-closet neurotic mess and she missed it. The screen turns very bright, then finally she can make out her friend. From the looks of it, she is on the floor in her bathroom, mascara smudged lightly under her eyes, wavy hair a mess on top of her head. “I haven’t even finished school yet. My NCLEX exam isn’t until next month—“

“Sound like perfect timing to me,” Raven snorts, keeping her tone very bored. Is this all she has? Are these her best arguments? She’s off her game. “You’ll ace the exam, get a few months of nursing experience at the hospital and then you can go on maternity leave. Your mom owns the surgical ward, I’m pretty sure she can make it happen.”

She watches Clarke draw her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead on top of them for a moment before looking back up at her phone. She does look wrecked. Raven hesistates for a second, then inquires, “Have you told him?”

“No,” Clarke replies, and then she is quiet for another second. She sounds softer this time, “What if he doesn’t want this?”

Raven almost cackles out loud. That loser would do anything for her, even if he didn’t want a baby with her—which seemed very unlikely—he would probably go to his grave swearing it was all he ever wanted. Besides, Bellamy has a few years on Clarke, is a well-known mother hen and is practically smitten with his sister’s toddler. (The only pictures he ever posts on social media are either of Clarke, his sister, that bratty little Octavia look-alike, or the three of them together—which was probably Nirvana by his definition.) He was more than ready, Raven’s sure that his old man primal hormones are just off the charts.

“Fat chance,” Raven settles on, instead of manic laughter because she’s a good friend, eyebrows practically disappearing into her hairline. “You’re talking about Bellamy Blake? The same Bellamy Blake who, when you introduced him to me and I told him I would kick his ass if he ever hurt you, said he couldn’t wait to have your babies someday?”

Clarke scrunches up her nose in disbelief, and Raven wonders if she needs to get her sight checked. Does she not see how that buffoon looks at her? “He said that?”

“Yep,” Raven drags out, seemingly unimpressed.

“He was drunk,” she argues, brushing her off as she runs a hand through her tangled blonde hair. 

“That makes it more true, Clarke, not less,” Raven replies without skipping a beat, can’t help but sound a little tiny bit judgemental just because of who she is as a person. There’s more silence, Clarke chewing on her thumbnail as she stares off in the distance and Raven sighs, softening her voice. “No offense, but why are you complaining to me about this, babe? It isn’t like you to be this insecure.”

Was this not the Clarke Griffin who marched up to their arrogant orange-President-affliated professor and told him he might be an art teacher, but she was an artist? It was a popular meme around their college for weeks, black sunglasses and a animated blunt photoshopped onto her yearbook picture and plastered around the halls. The same Clarke Griffin who punched through a glass window because racist campus police let her go and took Monty into a interrogation room alone after catching the both of them with some weed brownies and still has the scar to prove it? Was she not the Clarke Griffin who got everyone to sign a petition to get Kyle Wick kicked out of school when he tweeted out a sexually suggestive picture of Raven?

“Because you know he’ll be excited,” she presses, aggrevated, blue eyes dark as she stares at her camera as if she can stare straight into Raven’s soul. “And I can’t break his heart and tell him that—”

“That what?” Raven cocks an eyebrow, figuring it’s time for some though love now. “You dont want a baby?”

“No—“ She tries to get it, but Raven doesn’t relent, keeps pressing, “That you don’t want his baby?”

“No!” Clarke blurts out harshly, cutting her off as her eyes brim with tears. “That I didn’t plan for this!” She swallows tightly, and Raven just watches her, chest heaving up and down erraticly, blue eyes darting from left to right as she tries to get her thoughts together.  “You know what happened when I started medical school, why I had to drop out,” her voice finally breaks, lip trembling. “This time, I was going to better. I was going to do it right.”

“You had a nervous breakdown, Clarke,” Raven snaps, tired of the sugarcoating. She was so hard on herself, and Raven still feels the slighest pang of guilt at that because she used to encourage that quality in her, held her to even higher standards. Maybe at first because she was jealous of her, of the golden girl who got everything handed to her. When she realized that wasn’t true, it was more because Raven knew she could be brilliant. Then after everything went down, she realized Clarke had already been brilliant all along. “You were making eighteen hour days, Lexa broke your heart and then your dad died in your arms. I think not having a breakdown over that would’ve qualified you as a sociopath.”

Clarke quickly wipes at the wetness trailing down her cheek, like she is trying to keep Raven from seeing, hugging her knees closer to her chest. Quietly, she sniffs, wondering, “What if it happens again?”

“It won’t. Because you’ve learned you can’t plan everything because life comes at you fast,” Raven says, authoratively, like she’s reading it from the pamphlet her therapist got them back then. “—and to communicate about how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking. Eat enough vegetables and sleep enough hours.”

Clarke takes a deep breath, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand as she lets herself nod. Raven can’t help but press, “Isn’t that what you and Bellamy use as foreplay? A good old fashioned emotional conversation?”

Clarke scoffs. “No, like talking shop doesn’t get you and Shaw going.”

Raven lifts a shoulder, indifferent. She’s not going to sit here and pretend like him being able to name every component of a Harvey Davidson motorcycle in alphabetical order doesn’t get her all hot and bothered.

Clarke wipes her palms on her jeans-clad thighs, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “What if I’m not any good at this?”

“Then the child will have the most awesome aunt to fall back on,” Raven smirks, and luckily, Clarke finally cracks a smile too. “You’re Clarke fucking Griffin. If this is something that you want—“ She drags out the last word, pausing to get her confirmation (she’s pretty sure it’s something she does want, deep down, but it doesn’t hurt to check before she rolls out the whole peptalk), and reluctantly, her friend nods, corners of her lips turned up almost shyly. “If it’s something that you want, you’ll succeed at it. You care about everyone, Clarke, to a fault.”

Raven finds herself smirking again, pretending to be half-distracted with re-tightening her brace. “And I know it’ll be hard to care about that baby knowing it’s Bellamy’s—“

“Shut up,” Clarke deadpans, and her eyes look brighter, clearer. Tentatively, her hand comes to rest on top of her lower belly, fingers flexing on top of her shirt for just a second. Raven can’t help but smile, happy for her friends. It’s what they deserve.

“You should really call him,” Raven pushes, pursing her lips satisfactory, “He’s going to be so salty you told me before him.”

“Probably,” Clarke snorts, just the slightest bit of nervousness flashing across her eyes before they soften as she says, “But, thanks, Rave. I’m glad to see NASA lets you out on probation every six months.”

“It’s NASA though,” she responds—a little boastful, because it’s NASA, she gets to be boastful—then stretches out her free arm. “Also, mocktails Saturday?”

Clarke beams. “Deal.”

(The next time Raven gets a text from Clarke, it’s a photo of a ring on her finger.)

[buccellatiz]

36 and 37 + 91 and 93 💖💞💖

Ooh these are nice picks! Tysm for asking!! I’m gonna do it for my trinity kids bc I think it’d be fun to do it for all of them.

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous.

Xiu: She has “internet humor”. She’s on social media a decent amount of time, esp on places like tumblr or instagram (whatever her universe equivalent would have to be due to Legality™). She finds stuff like those deep fried images w/ the laser eyes funny, but not really those “dank meme” type ones. She hates that particular brand of humor usually bc it’s from stupid ppl who like to be offensive for Kicks. However she also recognizes actually funny stuff don’t worry abt her she like, isn’t totally Online Humor. Likes Good Internet Humor, so like eliminating like half the stuff on here lol.

Jason: He likes Actually Funny Stuff. No I Don’t Know How To Elaborate On That. You know that #whatthefluff challenge? He likes stuff like that too. Very into puns and word play. Shakespearean insults can often be heard from him.

Marco: “That’s Cringe”. I don’t need to say more. Also big on internet humor but the actual funny kind like his cousin.

Gwen: Parodies are her favorite brand of comedy. 

And bc all of them are dumbass teens in one way or another they also like dirty humor. All are also big on vines. They share a youtube channel after all.

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it?

In general, easy for Xiu and Jason to say. A bit harder for Marco to say. Hard for Gwen to say. Harder to say it with meaning for Xiu when she’s older, same for Gwen. Jason wanted everyone around him to know he cared abt them, grew up in a loving household and felt everyone deserved to hear it, whether or not it was romantic or platonic. However, his romantic ‘I love you’ is different than his platonic. Easy to tell when you’re the target of it. Xiu didn’t get as much love as she could’ve and wanted those around her that she cared about to know she loved them. However, it’s harder to throw around so easy post-Jason. Harder to know how much she means it, too. Harder to know if it’s ever truly said in a romantic way when you know she’s holding back. Marco just feels that the phrase is a special and wants to save it for those he finds worthy. Says it easily to close friends and family. Gwen has those same feelings, but she’s also afraid of getting hurt if she says it to the wrong person. She fears the vulnerability that can come with that statement. Doesn’t say it carelessly or w/o a good amount of thought. 

91. If they were a tweet, what tweet would they be?

Xiu: “i Amn just……….. a litle creacher. Thatse It . I Canot change  this”

Jason: “It has recently occurred to me that I’m constantly being clowned on. The people I trust most have been clowning on me for years.”

Marco: “____ if u read this im free on thursday n would like to hang out. please respond to this n then hang out with me on thursday when I’m free”

Gwen: ““This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender,” i holler as i overturn my uncle’s barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit“

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said?

OH HARD BC I’M A BAD WRITER WHO KEEPS FORGETTING TO ACTUALLY WRITE HGSFJDG BUT Here is what I do have from the few things I’ve written:

Xiu: “Alright, you go save the world. I’ll make sure to text you to make sure you did just that.” - from an rp w/ a friend (Xiu met Booster Gold :P) or alternatively from the same rp -  “Maybe you might like it enough to come back, too.” Just bc it applies to her in a lot of ways as a character

Marco: “I think this is some dumb shit, Xi.” - short story

Gwen: “Xiu, please, please call me back. You said you would. Why haven’t you? Please, I’m scared. I miss you! Please.”

[thiefking]

hi! sorry to bother you, but im a follower of your twitter bot @fisk_bot (i love the content a lot its very good) and i am trying to make a bot myself. if u wouldnt mind sharing, how did you make the bot tweet pictures? i just wanna make a picture bot for a character i like. thanks

ain’t botherin me at all dogg i’ve been meaning to make a proper tutorial for a while now anyway! (fisk <3s you too. they loave you THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS mutch!)

here’s the Officially Sanctioned Fiskbot Guide To Picture Bots (Bonus General Twitter Bot Tips Included)

first of all some notes:

i use twittbot.net for my bots. this method will work totally fine on other ones (it’s not based around twittbot, it’s based around how twitter itself works), i only mention it so people who wanna make bots but don’t know what site to use can know my own preference

this also works with videos! (i mean, the ones uploaded directly to & hosted on twitter. videos from youtube or instagram you just have to... add the youtube or instagram link)

host the image on the bot you want the pictures to show up on. this method works no matter what account originally posted the image, BUT if that account deletes the post or goes private no one will be able to see the image, so it’s better just as insurance to post it on your own account

a little technical note is that the reason you can’t see the images anymore once the person who posted the images deletes/goes private is because the account who posts the image is the one who “hosts” the image, which is easier to see when you try and add a video-- the op will be listed as whoever you linked the video from, not the account that just posted it. for example, i took the link for the [[HORCE]] video from the bot for my groupchat, and you can see the op is listed as “furbyskinnerbot” even when it’s posted on fiskbot

if you can’t get to a computer, you can get pic.twitter links from notifications on mobile, but you can’t copy and paste them and will have to type em all out manually

bonus twitter bot tip: fill up the bot with LOTS of tweets, it helps prevent repetition, ensures your bot will post on time and twitter blocking your bot from posting something because it tried to tweet something it already had fairly recently (twitter doesn’t like double-tweeting). fiskbot’s tweetbank has 250 tweets in it right now and it consistently posts on schedule! you may not need THAT many to get it to work, but lots is never bad with twittbots. if you don’t care about posting on schedule, then you can fill it up however you wanna

bonus twittbot-specific tip: go to settings and switch the second option, “order,” from “order of registration” to “random”. it mixes the tweets up and makes it less likely that your bot will post several similar tweets in a row, if you’re like me and have an idea for a tweet, put it in, then have... a related idea and add that one in right after...

version 1: a photo tweet with a caption

personally i prefer posting my photos with captions just for the sake of getting the pic.twitter link, because it’s a lot easier, BUT you don’t have to. here’s how you can get it

step 1: right click on the caption and hit inspect element (caption doesn’t need to be highlighted)

step 2: what the hell is this nonsense! well it’s where you’re getting your link, as soon as you hit inspect element (if you do so ON THE CAPTION TEXT) you’ll immediately be brought here, which is where you gotta be! expand the dropdown

step 3: you see that pic.twitter link? YOINK THAT SHIT and put it in your bot. you can have it tweet just the photo, or you can add a caption-- but make sure you put the link at the END of the tweet if it has a caption, i dunno if putting it before the tweet will fuck it up or not but it’s probably better not to take any chances

version 2: if the photo has no caption

while i DO prefer getting my links when there are captions... sometimes captions just don’t improve the funny. sometimes captions are unnecessary. also, sometimes you’re going against my advice and grabbing the link from an account that isn’t yours, and that account posted the image without a caption. if any of those apply here’s how to get the link from uncaptioned photos

step 1: so, there’s a bit of technical trivia to go along with this one; twitter USED to have the pic.twitter links just... IN the tweet, perfectly visible. this was taken away years ago because it occupied about 20 of the 140 characters and twitter finally realized that occupying that much space was kinda bullshit, so they made the pic.twitter links not occupy any required characters... AND made them hidden. they aren’t gone, they’re actually still technically in the captions, they’re just not visible. so, if you right click roughly around the area where a tweet caption WOULD be, you’ll still end up at “js-tweet-text-container”!

step 2: ... but because it’s invisible it’s also easy to miss. i missed. luckily though it’s still only a few clicks away and you’re looking for the same thing you need to find for a captioned tweet

and there you go! like i said before it’ll work with both photos and videos which is pretty sweet

[adscititious-cacoethes]

Sometimes it’s Confusion (Sometimes it’s Fate)

Pairing: Trevor C./Reader Warnings: Swearing, worry, internal turmoil, fluff, this is mostly cute stuff?  (PG-13? There’s too many fuck’s for it to be PG) Word Count: 5,603 A/N: Hello! This is alternatively titled “Soulmate AU where no one fucking knows shit until after they meet them cause I feel like that’s more true to real life.”  Thanks @chefgeofframsay for letting me scream at you. The group chat named is one of the ones that I’ve had with my friends because I’m not creative enough to think of a new one. [Y/F/N] = Your friend’s name Please note this fic takes place at RTX. I have never been to RTX. Therefore, I am basing all info off of things Em told me, watching livestreams, and conventions I have been to. I’m sorry if there are any discrepancies.  I take prompts/requests now! (see here for details). Feedback is appreciated! Please enjoy! 

You hadn’t realized just how big RTX was until you were there (finally!!!) yourself.

As someone who spent more time staying at home than interacting with others, you had foolishly told yourself that RTX couldn’t be that big – you still remembered when they had done that first RTX six years ago, and while aware of the fact that it had grown, you also were, apparently, completely unaware.

But, this was your first (and probably only) RTX, ever, because first college sucked and then after college you realized that you actually had to manage your own money, so you had splurged on that VIP badge and utilized your online and real-life friends’ experiences to masterfully plan your trip for maximum fun without accidentally killing yourself.

Hopefully.

Regardless, as you followed the throngs of people into the convention center, you took a deep breath and reminded yourself that no matter what happened, you were going to roll with the punches, with any luck meet some of the AH crew, and enjoy yourself no matter fucking what.

Because there was, yanno, that other thing that was ever-present in the back of yours and everyone else’s minds. RTX was a big convention – sixty thousand people big – and that meant that there was a significant increase of meeting your soulmate.

You were one of the undoubtedly many people that had that thought on their mind, wondering if you were going to wake up tomorrow with a symbol somewhere on your body. Wondering if today was the day that you would, by chance, meet your soulmate.

You idly wondered how many people you were going to see frantically running around shoving a body part into peoples’ faces tomorrow. How many pictures of soul-marks were going to be posted in the subreddit, tweeted with the hashtag. You knew that a few years back they made their own unique hashtag for twitter just for RTX couples.

You were hoping you wouldn’t be one of them.

(You were so, desperately hoping you would be).

But instead of checking twitter every thirty seconds and saying ‘hi’ to just about everyone you walked past like you saw others doing (like you wanted to do), you forged ahead, determined to see the sights and hear the sounds and smell the smells.

…And you promised some online friends of yours that you’d meet up with them at a certain time and place and you were not one to be late.

As you wandered towards the pre-determined meeting place (or what you thought was the pre-determined meeting place, who knew big convention center buildings had lots of areas that looked very similar?) you idly wondered if any of them were going to be your soulmate. It didn’t work via the internet. It was entirely possible.

You had a strong gut feeling that none of them would be “the one,” though. Each other, yeah, maybe, but you were the one that made your “group” an odd number, the last one to join the friendship Squad, so if everyone was going to be soulmates with someone else except one person, that person was going to be you.

By the time you looked at your watch again (after all the activities and fun and panels and lines and meeting people), it was nearly four in the afternoon and you and your best-internet-friend decided to break off of your little pack and head towards the show floor, content to wander around for an hour or two before going to get ready for the festivities that night. As you were walking past the bathrooms, a shock of white-blond hair caught the corner of your eye and your friend suddenly had a death grip on your arm.

“Trevor!” She half-squealed, half-whispered to you, shaking your forearm vigorously. You loved your friend, but she was definitely not good at the whole ‘they are people, too’ thing.

You patted her shoulder with your free hand placatingly, trying to wrench your arm out of her grasp. This, of course, caused you to fail to notice Trevor stop at the sound of his name and start walking back towards you two, Guardian in tow. The death grip getting impossibly tighter, however, combined with the barely-audible sharp inhale coming from the human being next to you did prompt looking up to find Trevor waving and striding quickly towards the pair of you.

“Hey, there!” He said, coming to more of a pause than a stop in front of you, Guardian looking a little frantic and fiddling with their watch.

You looked to your friend, expecting her to say something, but she just dug her nails into your skin with one hand and waved uncontrollably with the other.

You sighed heavily, “Hi, Trevor. Sorry she’s…being weird.” You gestured vaguely to your friend, feeling bad for about half a second before remembering that there was a possibility she was drawing blood at that moment and feeling very much less bad immediately afterwards.

“It’s fine. I just heard my name so I figured it’d be rude not to say hello. I’m actually about to be late to a panel, but it was nice meeting you both, and hopefully we’ll see each other again sometime this weekend in a less time-sensitive scenario?” Trevor said, rubbing at the back of his neck with one hand and already taking a step backwards.

“Yeah, go have fun! See you around!” You said cheerily, waving him away. It wasn’t until he turned the corner that you managed to get your friend’s hand off of you.

“[Y/F/N], you have got to chill. That’s like the sixth time today you’ve done that, my poor arm is going to fall off because of you!” You teased lightly, rubbing the sore spot with your opposite hand. She smiled at you sheepishly.

“Sorry, [Y/N], I’m just so excited! How can you be so cool about it? Isn’t Trevor like, your fave, too?”

She was right, of course. Trevor was your absolute favorite. He was charming and funny and handsome and even with stupid blond hair you couldn’t help but have the tiniest (read: not very tiny) crush on him.

He was also way out of your league, and you were acutely aware of that.

“I mean, yes, but he’s also a human being and should be treated that way? I dunno, my parents just always taught me to treat everyone I meet the same way until they give me reason not to. I guess this applies?” You finally responded, leaning up against the wall while your friend texted the group chat about the Trevor encounter.

“I guess you’re right, [Y/N]. We’re just opposites, I suppose. It’s really hard for me to see past the ‘these people are my idols’ thing. Maybe tomorrow reality will sink in a little bit and I’ll be better about it.” She said as she pocketed her phone and led the way towards the exit of the convention center.

“Regardless, you need to invest in some nail clippers, girl, those babies are fucking sharp.” You said, making both of you laugh as you joined the crowds.

You pushed the thought of Trevor from your mind, and instead looked forward to all the people you were going to meet and fun you were going to have at the party you and your friends were going to be attending in just a couple hours.

You woke up just the tiniest bit hungover, so you fell out of bed and grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge before you moseyed on into the bathroom. You turned the water on in the shower and took your time, letting the water start to get cold before stepping out and wrapping yourself in a towel. You were halfway through brushing your teeth when you heard your phone ring from the other room.

Brrrrrring! Brrrrring!

You spit and rinsed as quick as you could and rushed out into the bedroom, swiping to answer the call milliseconds before it went to voicemail.

“What?” You grumbled, putting it on speaker and carrying it back to the bathroom with you.

“Woo!!!” Was the collective response – you could pick out at least four distinct voices – and any doubt in your mind about who it was was cleared when one of them continued with “You ready for today, [Y/N]? AH panel!”

“I’d be more ready if you’d let me finish getting dressed and shit.” You responded, making sure to keep your tone light so that they knew you were only joking.

“Alright, we’re down at breakfast, so just hurry up and join us!” One of your friend half-shouted into the phone before you heard the tell-tale beep beep beep of the call ending. Ignoring the fact that [Y/F/N] was probably violating hotel policy by letting people not staying in this hotel eat their complimentary breakfast, you did your best to work quickly, and you felt rather proud of yourself when you’re out the door and heading to the elevator within fifteen minutes of the call.

You were reaching out to press the call elevator button when something caught your eye. Looking down at your arm, you saw the corner of something dark blue on your skin that you hadn’t noticed before.

Huh, don’t remember anyone writing anything on my arm at the party last night. You thought as you turned your arm over so that you could better see the inside of your forearm.

“Holy fuck.” You gasped, stumbling backwards in shock.

There, in the middle of the forearm of your nondominant hand, were a trio of dark blue stars, collectively about as wide and as long as your palm. When you ran your thumb across them, they didn’t smear or smudge, in fact it sort of tingled, just a little bit, and your heart skipped a beat.

At some point the day before, you had met your soulmate.

There wasn’t a doubt in your mind – you weren’t sure how you missed it in the shower (you were absolutely sure, the answer was you had your eyes closed the whole time), but it wasn’t Sharpie, it was real, and you were absolutely, without a doubt, one of those people who met their soulmate at fucking RTX.

You deserted the idea of waiting for the elevator, instead barging into the stairwell and practically flying down the stairs. You sped down the corridor and into the dining area, spied your friends all sitting at one of the tables, and sprinted towards them.

“Hey, [Y/N], what’s the rush? Convention center doesn’t open for another hour and a half, we’ll have to wait regardless of how soon we get there.” One of your friends said, spotting you first, panting and out of breath.

“Look.” You gasped out, shoving your arm over the table and waving it in their faces. They all looked confused for a moment, but soon enough, you could see recognition dawning in their eyes, one at a time.

“Holy fuck – you have to post it to the subreddit! And tweet it! And put it wherever the fuck you’re allowed!” One of your friends shouted, your best friend pulling out her phone as he spoke.

“No, wait, no!” You drew your arm back to your chest so that the tattoo was safely pressed against your chest.

“Why not?” Another one of your friends, offering you some toast as you took the empty seat at the table.

“I don’t know…I feel weird about it. And I don’t want to get my hopes up, if I don’t find them again, or if, you know…there is no match.” You nibbled on your toast and stared down at the table, cheeks heating up. It wasn’t that you weren’t thrilled but you knew that these things sometimes just didn’t work out, ‘missed connections’ and all that jazz.

It was selfish, but you didn’t want that to happen to you.

You were jolted out of your thoughts by a hand landing softly on your shoulder. When you looked up, all four of your friends were smiling at you reassuringly.

“Hey, it’s no big deal. We’ll just be your scout team, instead. No social media about it until after RTX, and then you can reassess and make that call, yeah?” Your best friend said, her thumb rubbing little circles on your shoulder blade.

You nodded, “Yeah. Sounds good.”

“Great! Now give us a good gander so we can keep our eyes peeled today!” She exclaimed, removing her hand from your shoulder in favor of making a grabby-motion at the arm still tucked against your chest. You rolled your eyes and presented her with your soulmark again.

She snapped a quick pic (“For referential purposes only, I swear!”), you finished your toast, and in no time the five of you were out the door and on your way to the convention center.

The day went on, and while you were having almost as much fun as you had the day before, it was overshadowed by the phantom heat of the soulmark on your arm.

It didn’t help that your group chat had devolved into sneaky pictures of arms and a whole bunch of texts that just said “Nope :(“ in various ways.

So it was a very welcome moment when you realized that you were about to file in and sit down for the AH panel, which meant a prolonged period of time where you were not using your phone. You could even turn it off, if you wanted to – all the people who were important would know where you were.

You were fortunate enough to score some seats towards the front (thank fuck for having nothing to do and aching feet – you and your best friend had gotten there uber-early) and the two of you settled in, munching on snacks hidden in your bags and chatting amicably with all the people sitting in your immediate vicinity.

[Y/F/N] had already checked, and none of them had soulmarks that matched yours.

Soon enough, people were walking onstage and everyone was jumping out of their seats and cheering, loud as they could. You were quick to join them, hooting and hollering and only settling back down into your seat once Geoff grabbed a mic and shouted a cracking, “Sit down, dickheads!” into it.

You spent most of the first bit of the panel looking at Trevor – and then telling yourself it was just because he was right in front of you. It didn’t work, but still. You gave it the good old college try. There was just something about him that you were drawn to, like a moth to the flame. Something in his smile, or the sparkle of his eyes.

Just…just something.

It was almost halfway through the panel (you were guessing – your no phone policy was still rigorously in effect), your focus on Ryan down at the end of the table stirring up some sort of argument, when your friend started tugging insistently on your sleeve.

“What – what?” You asked, trying to keep your voice down.

“There’s something on Trevor’s arm! He’s been keeping it under the table the whole time but he just pushed his hair out of his forehead with his hand and there’s something there. Trevor doesn’t have a soulmate yet, [Y/N]. That could be you!” She squealed excitedly in your ear, gesturing wildly.

“Please, [Y/F/N], as if. Even if he did meet them yesterday – good for him, by the way, he deserves to be happy and shit – the probability of it being me is low and the probability of him wanting me is even lower. Being soulmates means nothing but ‘maximum compatibility,’ remember. Doesn’t mean happily ever after.” You weren’t sure if you were trying to convince her or yourself, if you were honest.

Because really, Trevor was cute. And smart. And funny. If his real personality was within throwing distance of being like his internet one, then you knew that the two of you could work out well. But you had read the stories, did your research, you knew as well as everyone else that soulmates – especially when one of the parties involved was in the public eye – could imploded just as well as normal relationships.

You didn’t want to implode. You didn’t want to experience unrequited-ness (or whatever). You just wanted to exist in at the very least ambivalence for the rest of your life, soulmate or no soulmate.

But the thought of Trevor being your soulmate…

Your friend continued to spend the next several minutes craning her neck and trying to get a good look at Trevor’s arm – still curiously hidden under the table. You, on the other hand, were rather deep in thought in a way that you knew you’d regret in retrospect because it meant missing part of the panel but at the time you couldn’t bring yourself to care enough to pull out of it.

Trevor as a soulmate. Would you even want that? Fucking please. You had already started internally waxing poetic about the guy as soon as he sat down at the goddamn table. Of course you’d want that. Would he want you? God, you hoped so. For all of your insecurities, despite all the negative thoughts and opinions you (sometimes more often than not) had about yourself, you would certainly fucking hope that your soulmate would be able to look past those things better than you could; see beauty, something wonderful, where you couldn’t.

It would be hard, being in the public eye. You’d have to move to Austin, most definitely. You’d have to deal more directly with internet trolls. You’d be in a whole different sphere of existence, because even if Trevor kept you mostly private and under wraps, soulmarks are telling and people are insistent and persistent when behind the safety of a screen.

Would you do it? Could you do it?

You knew the answer without really even thinking about it.

“Fuck, [Y/N], [Y/N]!” You arm was suddenly being slapped wildly, and you were roughly pulled out of your thoughts, focusing on the stage in just enough time to see Trevor’s arms spread wide in front of Michael and Gavin, and there was something blue and star-shaped on his forearm and –

Well, his arms went down as soon as they went up, but something in your chest tightened in anticipation. If you and your friend saw it, then most of the rest of the audience probably did, too, so when Q&A time rolled around, undoubtedly someone would come up and ask about it, have him describe it. And if he did, and if it matched yours.

Well, you weren’t sure what the RTX Guardian policy was on it but you’d rather walk up to Trevor and say “Hey dude we met for like sixty seconds yesterday because my friend completely freaked when she saw you and I think we’re soulmates?” after the panel and not in front of who-knows-how-many thousands of your closest friends.

So instead, you just sat and waited.

Surprisingly enough, the question never came. Which fucking sucked because that meant you weren’t sure if it was him. And you weren’t about to do something as public and potentially embarrassing as tweet at him (he didn’t follow you so DMs were off the table) or post on the subreddit or whatever.

So, despite the disappointed glances from your friends, you decided to head off on your own for a while – call it a “hunt for Trevor,” if you will. You weren’t sure departing from your friends was the best thing to do, but once your best friend texted the group chat “I am like, 85% positive that Trevor has a matching mark to [Y/N]!!!” they had been excited, loving, and…insufferable.

Which logically left you little choice except a “hey, guys, I know we’re supposed to go to this panel now but I’m not feeling it so I’m going to go find a quiet corner to hang out in for a while.” Your friends were concerned, but you insisted, which brought you to where you were now – sitting up against a wall down a surprisingly empty hallway, scrolling through your phone for any tweets about Trevor you could find, hopelessly, desperately trying to figure out if he is The One, so to speak, so that you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself for assuming.

For all you knew, the mark on his arm could’ve been residual Sharpie or something.

After an hour of that with no luck (typical), you decided to walk around to see if you could either catch sight of the tall, newly-blond man or catch wind of someone who had seen him at some point today.

You circled the show floor twice. Then you went over to the autograph area (as far in as you could go without a signing ticket thing for that time, anyway), asking the Guardians and Security Officers if anyone had seen Trevor yet that day (spoiler: they hadn’t). You slowly snaked your way around the lines for all kinds of panels, dropped by near the Fake AH escape room – didn’t see Trevor there, but Jeremy was full-on Rimmy Tim-ing it and you were in hysterics about it – and then circled back around to the front of the building. You even sighed and went to the other buildings that were holding panels and things. You scrolled through twitter and discovered a couple of meetups happening nearby so you went and crashed those, too.

Fucking.

Nothing.

No Trevor. You had no idea where he could’ve been, unless he was, like, seventy feet behind you that whole time. You had literally gone everywhere he could’ve been!

Well. Almost everywhere. He could have been hiding out in the Staff Only areas, or he could’ve left to go get some food, or he could’ve went home/to his hotel for the day (you weren’t sure which, nor would you take the time to be creepy enough to figure it out).

Yeah, on second thought, there were a lot of places you couldn’t look that he could’ve been. You were about to accept defeat, go meet up with your friends, and re-assess for the next day, when your phone chiming interrupted your thoughts.

[Chat: #SQüID] [From: [Y/F/N] 5:07:23 PM] [Y/N], check it out!!!! 😊 😊 😊

The text was followed immediately by another, containing a twitter link. You sighed heavily and clicked the link before it could fully load and show you a preview in the chat. Your phone was buzzing with notifications from the rest of your friends (probably yelling about something – you didn’t have previews on for your notifications) and you paused, moving to the wall to wait for twitter to load. Stupid slow phone with the stupid slow internet because of all these people, you grumbled internally, tapping your foot impatiently.

Fuck.

You sucked in a sharp breath, sucking your bottom lip in between your teeth when the tweet finally loaded. The picture attached still was only halfway there, so all you could see was part of Trevor and some random person’s face, but in the meantime, you read the tweet. Again. And again. And again.

@_TrevorC Thanks for taking the time to take a picture with me – hope you find your other half! (Close but no cigar)

You swiped down on the next notification for your group chat, trying to figure out what was going on without risking actually leaving twitter which would mean waiting even longer for it to re-load, but everyone was just incoherently keyboard-smashing and sending excited-looking emojis back and forth.

You cleared out of the chat preview to see that the picture was almost loaded just a little more, fuck slow internet it’s literally been less than a minute but it feels like yeARS –

“Excuse me?”

Your head shot up from your screen. You knew that voice.

Sure enough, Trevor was standing in front of you, a respectable distance away but still rather close, rocking on his toes a little with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Hi, sorry, am I blocking something?” You asked, looking left and right. You were pretty close to a water fountain but you weren’t in the way, necessarily, and the bathrooms you had stopped near were a couple feet away from you, still.

“Uh, no, you’re fine. I just wanted to ask – we met yesterday, right? You had a friend with you who was very excited?” He rocked back on his heels, and you could see out of the corner of your eye that there were a couple of Guardians off to the side, and as Trevor spoke they seemed to be intercepting people and – directing traffic around the two of you? At least, that’s what it looked like.

You were very confused.

“Yeah, that’s a nice way of putting it but that was me. It’s nice running into you again.” You chuckled a little while internally cringing at your word choice.

That sounded a lot better in your head.

“Definitely!” He said, beaming at you, and you watched as he went to do something with one hand, aborted the motion, and then lifted his other hand to push his hair back a bit.

Your phone was buzzing incessantly in your hand, even more so than before, and you went to look down at it to see what the fuck was going on, surely this explosion wasn’t still from that tweet that [Y/F/N] had sent, but as soon as your eyes started to drift to your phone Trevor cleared his throat and you snapped back up to look at him.

“Sorry if this is weird, but I’ve been trying to retrace my steps from yesterday because I didn’t want to be all public about it and then get people like, freaking out and trying to Cinderella this shit but I know we spoke briefly yesterday – in this very spot, ironically – so did you happen to wake up with a mark that looks like this?” Trevor finished his sentence by awkwardly jabbing his arm out, palm up to face you.

There, in the center of the inside of his forearm, about the size of your palm, were three. Blue. Stars.

You gaped like a fish, opening and closing your mouth for a couple of moments, and you knew that Trevor was waiting a response but you couldn’t quite get one to come. Instead, the still-functioning part of you jumped into action, and you took a step forward, holding your own arm out for him to see, lining your forearm up next to his.

They were a perfect match. Same size, same shape, same color, same spot on the same arm – everything. You stared at your arms, reveling in the strangeness of it all, and beyond that, in the warmth that was flooding your chest like you had a campfire burning inside you.

“I’m [Y/N].” You blurted out, finally looking up from your arms to meet Trevor’s eye. He beamed at you, and his soft brown eyes crinkled in the corners, and by damn if you didn’t think that he looked like the sun – all bright and warm and happy.

“Hi [Y/N]. Would you like to, uh, go somewhere that isn’t a hallway and talk, maybe? I’d like to get to know you. If you want that, that is. I just realized that this might be weird for you.” Trevor rambled a bit, gesturing with his other arm and leaving the tattooed one next to yours. It was almost like he was afraid that if he moved it, he would wake up and it would’ve all been a dream.

Hell, you thought that way, too.

“Why would it be weird for me?” You asked, even though you knew the answer – you had been thinking about it all fucking day, of course you knew the answer, but you wanted to know what Trevor thought, first, almost like some kind of test to make sure the two of you were on the same train or whatever.

“I mean, soulmates are kind of scary to begin with, and then I’m in the public eye, and you’re not, so there will always be jealous trolls making shitty comments, and I’m sure you’re not from around here, so that’s another hoop to jump through, and while I could probably, literally squeal with excitement right now because you’re pretty and also my soulmate and if I’m honest all I want to do in this moment is hug you and kiss you and never let you go, you’re also my soulmate and I’ve thought about how I’d deal with a situation like this since I started working here and above all, I just want you to be happy. With or without me.” Trevor grabbed your still-outstretched hand with his free one as he spoke, soft and earnest and as the words came tumbling out of his mouth you could feel yourself tearing up a little.

Because the campfire in your chest was telling you that you, too want to hug and kiss and never let go, but the fact that he had thought about this for literally years and his conclusion was he just wants you to be happy – that made your heart melt a little bit.

As soon as he finished speaking you surged forward, burying your face in his chest and wrapping your arms around his waist. His arms went around you without hesitation, and you felt his lips brush against the top of your head and somehow you felt impossibly warmer and sighed into his shirt.

“Is that a ‘yes, Trevor, I’d love to go somewhere more private and get to know you,’ then?” He asked, voice muffled against your hair and you could feel the soft reverb in his chest against your face.

You nodded, at a loss for words, and he pulled away with one more soft kiss to your head, grabbing your hand that wasn’t holding your phone and lacing your fingers together.

“I’m glad I ran into you, [Y/N].” He muttered, and you were suddenly aware of the small crowd of people who had gathered around the two of you (at a respectable distance, which was nice).

“Me, too. I have to admit, when my friends and I caught a glimpse of something on your arm at the AH panel today and I started thinking about it as a possibility I was kind of worried, about the things that you said, but I’d like to at the very least try,” You gestured to your mark, “these things don’t just show up for no reason, after all.”

Trevor nodded and hummed in understanding, “Yeah,” He stared at you for a long moment, “You’re really pretty, and easy to talk to. I like you already.” He told you, smiling cheekily while you hid your now-tomato-colored face with your free hand. He called out someone’s name, and one of the Guardians nearby (who you later would find out that they had been directing traffic around the two of you, and that Trevor had rounded up all the Guardians he could find besides his own to help him retrace his steps throughout the day to find you, which you thought was very romantic and sweet and flattering) turned and led the way through the crowd for the two of you.

Trevor held tight to your one hand, and you unlocked your phone with the other, sending a quick text to your friends as you walked, telling them that you had ran into Trevor and your marks matched and you were going with him to talk and hang out for a little while and that you’d let them know when you were heading back to your hotel so they knew you were safe. You laughed and showed Trevor the slew of emojis and well-wishes they sent in response.

Later, you would find out that while Trevor was not a perfect human being – those didn’t exist – he was pretty fucking close to perfect for you.

Later, you and Trevor would watch a video that someone had tweeted at him of the two of you showing each other your tattoos and discovering that they match. You would blush at the way that Trevor looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world, and Trevor would apologize because there was no way that you could be a secret or keep the situation private for even a little bit due to how publicly he went about it, and you would smile and stretch out your neck to peck a kiss on his cheek – the very first kiss you gave him ever! – and tell him it’s okay, at some point in your relationship it would have to be made public, so why not from the start.

The next day, at a panel, Trevor would get you and your friends in in the front, and someone asked him a question about you because the hashtag and RT subreddit had been flooded with the news overnight, and he would look at you with this soft smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes and tell the questioner that My favorite thing in the world right now is every second I get to hold her hand.

And yeah, it will be hard. And yeah, you and Trevor were too busy getting to know each other to talk about logistics and moving and things like that.

But by god, in that moment, listening to Trevor talk about you and smile at you like you were the moon to his sun, you knew in your heart that it would all work out just fine.

[daylflay]

He/She/Him/Her/Liberal/Conservative

All the Twitter’s a Stage

The performance of gender is typically engendered via societal/cultural inculcation. The gender archetypes germane to traditional Western culture are familiar to most of us: Men are supposed to be tough and stoic, whereas women are supposed to be compassionate and emotionally expressive. Online, though, gender performance takes on an additional dimension; as Sarah Banet-Weiser puts it in Mediated Girlhoods: New Explorations of Girls’ Media Culture: “The construction of the self is not an insular, isolated activity but is rather situated in a media and cultural context that involves a dynamic between the self and others, or…content and user feedback”. Due to Twitter’s focus on creating/growing a following, for example, gender performance for those with significant followings on the platform is arguably the result of their ideologies/audiences. On Twitter, in some cases, general societal expectations seem to take a backseat to one’s ideological leanings and the subsequent type of following that attracts. 

The Actors

All of the individuals I’m monitoring were raised within a Westernized cultural framework, so they no doubt are fully aware of the gender norms expected of them, which Rosalind Gill delineates in Postfeminist Media Culture: Elements of a Sensibility: “A key feature of the postfeminist [era] has been the resurgence of natural sexual differences…[,] one arena in which this played out was the media debate about…an unashamed celebration of true or authentic masculinity”. Rick Wilson/@TheRickWilson and Mehdi Hasan/@mehdirhasan, the two men I’m tracking, are both heterosexual Westerners, but their gender performances are dichotomized based on their identification with conservatism and liberalism, respectively. 

Conservatism, as a social ideology, is concerned with conserving traditional Western values, and in Rick Wilson’s case that means performing as a tough, red-blooded, take-no-shit kind of man similar to what Gill described as “authentic masculinity” (though Wilson takes politically moderate positions on myriad issues, he still self-identifies as conservative). Perusing his tweets/replies, it’s clear that he takes a very aggressive posture on Twitter. Wilson seems to constantly be engaging in Twitter spats with a variety of users, and is crude and condescending towards his targets: Just today (2/20/20), in response to a Twitter user who said something that Wilson considered distasteful, Wilson sarcastically tweeted, “I am intrigued by your views and wish to subscribe to your news letter”; the Twitter user in question had a minimal following, and Wilson, with his formidable following and widely recognized body of online content, clearly delighted in mocking her and her nonexistent newsletter. Regarding the photos/videos he posts to Twitter, Wilson almost exclusively uses those forms of media to promote either his most recent book release, or his media appearances; it all revolves around self-advertisement, which is consistent with the typical capitalistic leanings of economic conservatism. There also seems to be a lack of emoji use by Wilson, which is basically a portrayal of the stoicism associated with the Western male archetype. 

Socially, liberalism, which Mehdi Hasan proudly identifies with, espouses an open-minded and empathetic mentality unlike Wilson’s display of “true masculinity”. Hasan’s tweets/replies can be aggressive at times, but he’s much more open to the use of humor and emojis than Wilson is, which sets a friendlier tone than Wilson does. In general, Hasan seems more interested in engaging with current events than with Twitter users; the majority of the photos/videos Hasan posts are germane to whatever current event is on his mind, whether it’s a screen-grab from the most recent Democratic debate or a video of Iranian activists protesting their current political regime. Hasan cultivates a Twitter identity that is focused on informing the public without the use of pontification/condescension, which jives with liberal precepts. One of Hasan’s most recent tweets simply stated, solemnly and without a trace of irony, “interesting argument”, in response to a tweet by New York Magazine writer Sarah Jones/@onesarahjones. 

    The Actresses

Kashana Cauley/@kashanacauley and Patti Harrison/@Party_Harderson are both liberals, and the general atmospheres they curate via their Twitter accounts are mostly friendly and overtly humorous. One of Cauley’s tweets following yesterday’s (2/19) Democratic debate humorously read: “Bloomberg’s going for the left vote by being publicly owned”; her tweet was jocular and tame in tone compared to the vast majority of political tweets and their vitriolic nature. Both women engage enthusiastically with other Twitter users, and their tones when engaging are supportive and optimistic; I wasn’t able to discern any recent instances of either woman sparring with other Twitter users, in fact.

Cauley and Harrison have a lot in common in terms of their Twitter use, but the latter is much more active in feminizing her tweets than the former, and it’s for a good reason: Harrison is a trans woman, and that typically entails the performance of some form of traditional femininity. Though being trans is obviously a major aspect of her identity, it’s also part of her brand. I’m not suggesting that Harrison is capitalizing on her identity in a reprehensible way, but being publicly trans is bound to attract a plethora of other trans and marginalized peoples to her, which is commensurate to what Patricia G. Lange touches upon in The Vulnerable Video Blogger: Promoting Social Change through Intimacy: “Years ago, exposing oneself through writing and art constitute[d] a kind of vulnerability”, and now that vulnerability is expressed and subsequently shared via social media, which has undoubtedly worked in Harrison’s favor. In comparison to Cauley, Harrison tweets many more selfies, as well as videos featuring her doing silly things, and also frequently uses emojis that invoke traditional femininity such as hearts, kissy faces, etc.: e.g., about a month ago (1/24/20), Harrison tweeted a photo of herself dressed up for a night out accompanied by text describing a hair-iron related debacle; the tweet concluded with a series of red heart emojis. 

In opposition to Cauley and Harrison, Candace Owens/@RealCandaceO is passionately conservative, and as such her gender performance has more in common with a traditional male archetype than a female one. Owens’ Twitter behavior has a lot in common with Rick Wilson, although their views in many instances, despite both being conservative, are polar opposites. Regarding their similarities, Owens, like Wilson, is highly aggressive on Twitter, probably more-so than Wilson, and her photo/video uploads primarily consist of self-advertisement; here’s a recent (2/17/20) Owens response to a Twitter user who tweeted at her: “This would be funny if it weren’t for the fact that you were too stupid to actually listen to the clip where I clearly said that Bernie Sanders would destroy Black America for the next 100 years.” Another commonality between the two conservatives is the lack of emoji-use and humor; Wilson is basically a comedian with a sunny disposition in comparison to Owens’ austerity. Owens basically bucks every trend of typical online female performativity in favor of a an extremely aggressive and traditionally male posture that appeals to conservatives. In Virtual Feminisms, Jessalynn Marie Keller states that “feminism has helped to redefine notions of…resistance and activism, with cultural and political action taking on new forms that ‘may be unrecognizable if interpreted through more traditional paradigms of activism’”; although Owens is vocally anti-feminist and would emphatically reject the feminist label being applied to her in any capacity, it can’t be denied that her Twitter activity falls in line with a conservative form of the neo-activism that Keller articulates in her article. 

As Shakespeare wrote in As You Like It: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players…and one man in his time plays many parts”.

[imatrisarahtops]

My followers don't generally read my text posts. But I'm posting this anyway for my own peace of mind. I need to put it in words and don't have another place to do so.

Here's the thing: I've been spending the last eight or nine months trying truly discover myself.

Let's start with a tiny bit of backstory.

Back in December, I broke up with the guy I'd been dating for almost three years. He cheated on me with two girls, then tweeted about it, then blocked me on all social media when I called him out on it.

Here's the kicker: even though he cheated and that was his choice, it is difficult for me to not blame myself in some capacity. Why? Because I'm asexual.

I discovered this about myself a few years ago. And I have accepted it. But the way that people treat it, especially in relationships... I'd be lying if I said it didn't discourage me.  People lie, people change their minds.  People swear they accept and understand and then turn around and call you slurs and insults and names.  People say that they won’t push you to do anything and then suddenly forget the meaning of consent and the word “no”, and they think that fighting back is just “role-play”.

It took me over three years to walk away from someone who didn’t understand that latter concept, someone who constantly called me a “faggot” because I must be gay to not sleep with him, someone who called me a “whore” because I must be getting sex elsewhere if not with him.  He said that something was wrong with me, and I believed him.  It took me three years to realize that he was wrong and to leave.  And then it took me another year to realize that I was merely asexual.

After that, it was a challenge to open myself up again.  In the end, it happened by accident.  He was my friend, and we started to talk and then it turned into more.  This time, I already knew how I identified.  So I told him.  He told me he didn’t care, that it didn’t matter, but I discovered he had been lying when suddenly I was “a tease” for everything I did, and constantly asked “are you sure?” like my word wasn’t enough.  It’s hard not to think that, when someone cheats on you after nearly three years, after all those small comments, after turning them down countless times, that it isn’t because of you.

I’ve been told countless times that I “deserve better” and that I’ll "find someone”, by people I never even explained the details to, by people, even recently, that I’ve only just met.  But if I’m going to be in for more of the same… I feel like I’d be better off on my own.

I feel like I discover a lot about myself through writing. I've been working on a story with my sister, and I inadvertently characterized the lead as a demisexual/demiromantic.  People say you put a bit of yourself into your characters when you write, and I believe that I did just that.  I was working on some introspective backstory for him; it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever written.  But during the course of working on this piece, I suddenly found the words too accurate, not only for the character, but myself.

“I’ve never wanted to depend on someone else for my own happiness,” he said.

“Love isn’t like that,” Alina argued.  “It’s a partnership—companionship.  Love isn’t depending on someone for happiness, but finding someone to share your happiness with.”

He considered this, letting the words wash over him slowly.  “Perhaps if I found something like that,” he conceded softly.  “But I can’t imagine myself ever seeking it out.  It’s likely I’d be so caught up in everything else, I’d let it pass me by without even knowing.”

It physically hurt when I realized how those words resonated with me—and not just those specifically, but the whole piece.  His whole struggle of what he wants and what others expect.  It made me physically tired when I finally understood that I was writing about my own experience.

I know I'm far from the first person to struggle with the expectations of others, and far from the last.  But the worst part is that I suddenly can’t even see the things I have done and take pride in them.

I can’t take pride in the fact that I’m a very talented teacher.  I can’t take pride in the fact that my students, past and present, love me.  I can’t take pride in the fact that our classroom is put together well, that my lessons are carefully thought out and well planned.  I can’t take pride in the fact that I’ve won teacher of the quarter or that I’m entrusted with extra tasks and I’m a mentor teacher.  Instead, all I can focus on is that after four years of applying to the school system as an art teacher, I was told that my portfolio is unimpressive, and so was I.  And in a twenty minute interview, all of those hopes for the future were so quickly crushed.

So instead of being proud of graduating college in the first place, of earning my diploma, all I can think is that I need to go back to school because I’m not good enough and I need to find a new dream.

For such a long time, I thought I’d figured everything out.  That one day, I’d marry a guy and move to the city and be an art teacher; we’d have a few children and probably a cat or two.  It was so painfully normal but I thought that’s what I wanted.

But at the same time, wasn’t that what everyone expected and wanted of me?  To finish college, to do this, to feel that.  At this point, the lines have blurred beyond the point of distinction and I can’t tell where my own desires end and everyone else’s begin.

Now I’m suddenly rethinking everything.  Because now I think I’ll go back to school and truly grow into my role as a preschool teacher.  Maybe at the same time I’ll start working on my skills as a writer, and pursue that as more than a hobby.  Maybe I’ll finish my novel.  Maybe I’ll become someone.

Maybe I’ll have kids.  Maybe I’ll adopt.  Maybe my students will be enough for me, when it comes to that.

Maybe I am, in fact, demiromantic.  Maybe I’ve only dated guys because in the past, I’ve become friends with guys more than girls and developed that deeper connection.  Maybe the crush I have on a girl right now will become something.

Maybe it won’t.

He wanted to find it funny, to be able to laugh at the idea of it all.  He had waited so long, wondering if it were even possible for him to experience something even slightly comparable to what he’d heard so many others describe.  And now…

It was his luck—he felt like there was something just at his fingertips, but still out of reach.  How could something be so close and yet still be too far to grasp?

Maybe…

Maybe my attempts are in vain.  Maybe I’m meant to be rejected at every turn, in far more than just the concept of romance and relationships—years of wasted job applications, interviews, and resumé-building; countless fruitless attempts at friendship and even just conversation.  Maybe I’m meant to be brushed aside and ignored and just forgotten.

He was confident that he would never be able to forget him, even if he tried.  How was it possible that someone could become so vital so quickly?  He suddenly understood what so many others had described to him...

And he wished he didn't.  No one had ever mentioned the pain that could accompany those feelings; no one had ever warned him that it could hurt so badly, moreso than the various injuries he’d suffered since he was young.  For all the nights he wished he could be like everyone else and fall in love the way that they did, to be something close to what he was told was normal—now he wished the opposite a hundred times over.  He wanted to go back to the not-knowing—because that had to be better than this—the knowledge accompanied with the realization that, once again, what he wanted didn't matter.

Maybe I really did put too much of myself into this character.  Maybe I’m the same.  Only maybe I don’t get the happy ending.  Or at least, my happy ending is still on my own.

I want what I have to be enough.  But maybe it just isn’t, anymore.  I thought I’d finally figured myself out, but maybe I need to keep trying.

I can keep trying, and I can figure things out.  I can.  I can learn.  I can learn to be okay with it, I can learn to be happy.

But right now, I just really feel alone.  Right now, I want something—or someone—more.

[bitingmascot-blog]

So you want to market your game

What I’m about to talk about concerns mostly Finnish game developers I’ve met. We are too humble in our work and our skills. I believe this might also apply for most introverted game developers. I have limited info and skills, so please make your own interpretations on your own experiences, read up on marketing articles on Gamasutra or look for other indies’ articles (I’ll link some at the end). I’m also studying game development, not marketing, so my ideas on marketing aren’t based on “traditional” marketing techniques, just what I’ve learned on a few courses and on the internet.

Something that seems to be difficult for starting game developers is how to actually sell their game. They can sell the idea to their team, the vision to other game developers, but not the product to customers. Some are great at the “show and tell” of gaming events, others at the magic of a social media hit. These come from skills of speech, showmanship, art. But they don’t know how to sell the feeling, the package, the price; the product. I’ve seen people immerse themselves into making their game, intending on making it a product. But then nobody hears anything until it’s done. And then it gets buried.

So why don’t people take time to sell their game? I’ve heard a few reasons, like

“game developers are artists who create for the joy of creating”: that would be great if their livelihoods weren’t dependant on the products selling

“it takes too much time to do”: if you are making a jam game or learning with a game developing hobby, that’s fine, but otherwise it’s just as important as the game you are making to get people to see it

“I don’t know how”: this is actually the most reasonable reason to not do marketing, but not good enough to not learn. Granted, there aren’t schools for specifically selling and marketing games (if you know of one, tweet at me @BeanieDev, I would be interested), but there are so many online resources to learn from.

I think everyone has heard the line “Marketing starts when development/preproduction/designing starts” in one form or the other if you’ve listened to any talk about video game marketing. I think that a more honest line is “marketing starts when the decision is made that the product is going to be a product”. Names need to be decided for social media, concepts drawn up for getting people’s attention. Then the three biggest decisions: who handles the marketing, what kind of marketing is used and how serious is the product. Let’s quickly go through these:

Who handles the marketing: A team nowadays can consist of a random assortment of the following; artists, programmers, designers, producers and audio guys. There may be other roles in your team, but these are the “main jobs” in smaller teams, so I’m gonna talk about them.  In addition, we can think about getting an external marketing person (that’s me!). So who would be best to do the marketing on top of their other work? This is also figuring you are a small team, indies without a marketing team. I actually think that marketing can be best handled as a team. Let’s look what every team member can provide for marketing and what weaknesses they provide if they are put into a marketing position on their own.

Artists have a lot of skills that social media marketing can utilize. But their other work is very important and can take a lot of time. So, this is a case-by-case decision for the team. If there’s a social media –savvy artist who can create small, clean stuff quickly, then an artist can get the product a lot of attention. But marketing also includes writing copy (text), contacting people, going to events and taking time to figure out what things are working and what aren’t. That’s a lot of time taken away from drawing, modeling, texturing or any actual game development.

Programmers or designers can usually make the quickest “funny in-game clips” in the editor. The great #gamedev/indiedev posts (glitches, gameplay/feature displays) are easily made with some simple screen recording software. They only need to write a funny explanation of what’s happened and that’s a great post! But again, there’s so much more to marketing that would take that time away from the game development.

Producers are commonly put into the part of the marketer. They handle events, they see what’s going on with every part of the project. But they might have enough to juggle with their actual work too. If the project is serious enough, producers are constantly keeping track of the project, handling emails, meeting with investors or publishers. So not the worst pick for a marketer, but they can be reliant on others for the materials or too busy for it.

Sound guys are the sound guys. With that kind of creative talent, they often know a thing or two about video editing too. They have great possibilities for making trailers. But, in that way, they are completely reliant on the others in the team.

So then we get to the external marketing person. They have the time set for writing, contacting and keeping an eye on things. However, they are dependent on the rest of the team to provide visual materials, barring they don’t have skills in art or game development in general.

So who’s the best pick here? The guys who can’t produce the content or the ones who don’t have time for everything else? I say combine the manpower. The whole team produces content. The easiest way to do it is to have people share what they see while creating it. Share it on the team’s Slack or Discord and then have someone in charge of posting put it up. This fixes another problem as well, we’ll get to that soon.

What kind of marketing: So there are many forms of marketing. There’s social media, news sites, YouTube, influencers and reviewers. Your own website, discord server, the social media handle, Reddit and Imgur. How do you pick what you want to use? Which social media? What influencers? When who what -Argh! So much to choose from. So what do you do? Do them all at the beginning? No. Choose a couple of social media tools and Reddit/Imgur. Look up on how to use those social media online (I’ll link some I’ve used in the end). For Reddit, look for relevant subreddits, check the sidebar for instructions, when unsure ask and remember the Reddiquette. Imgur is tricky. They dislike the hard sell, you need to interest them with short videos, gifs, and images. Instead of selling the game to them, show them some funny clip and say “this is a funny bug/cute scene from the game I’m making, had to share it”. Hang out in the comments and chat. Give more info when they want it. Great line from Mark Rosewater’s GDC talk: “People are more invested in things they initiated”. You give them a chance to ask in the comments. Those who are interested ask questions. Answer them and they get more interested. Once you get some following, make a discord channel. Give people more chances to get close to your product. Make a devblog on Tumblr or IndieDB. Find new social medias that I don’t even know about. Mastodon, Vero, Social-media-number-251, you never know what might be the next big thing for indie developers to make big waves.

So then you got to pick the most important thing for this part: what does the marketing sound like? Are you selling as the developer? Are you selling as a character? How do you talk? Cute-sy? Cool-like? What’s the tone? No matter where you market your game, people see the tone. If you haven’t heard of the Nintendo Power Earthbound “This game stinks” line, you should google that to see how not to sound when selling your game. So pick out a tone. Stick to it. This is where having one person post helps. No disconnect from the main idea. There should be some discussion with the group first, but then one person can do the posting when the tone is set.

How serious is the product: Are you making a small jam game with your friends? Or a 3-year endeavor that will break the way we think about games? And should it sell? Everything depends on you. For a jam game, as the creation should be a fun weekend with your friends, maybe the people who see it and the purpose should be the same: your friends, having fun. So a couple tweets with images, maybe an Imgur post with a link to the download. For the 3-year endeavor, a team of marketers, outside help, professionals to make the hard sell on big publications. But those won’t come before you make something polished. Those projects take time. And while some say the hype lives on, it’s actually hard to keep it alive. Great article on playing the long game by Tanya Short from Kitfox Games on Gamasutra.

When you start to get further with the development, you can pick out more tools, check out more avenues that fit the posts you make. When someone hollers at you, holler back. Build a community if it fits your game. Look for Youtubers, from lists online and if your team enjoy someone’s content, shoot them a message. Be respectful!

So that’s a lot of info on how to start things off. And that’s not half the battle. Then the real work begins. I’ll leave you off with a few select articles and talks I’ve found on the subject. Again, if you got something to comment on or want to talk about the subject, shoot me a message on Twitter @BeanieDev. Happy marketing!

Juho The marketing trainee

http://www.gamasutra.com/blogs/TanyaXShort/20180928/327255/Years_in_the_Making_The_Long_Game_of_Boyfriend_Dungeon.php

http://www.gamasutra.com/blogs/LewisDenby/20180425/316986/Kotaku_is_not_the_answer_strategic_thinking_for_indie_game_PR.php

https://www.gamasutra.com/view/feature/2695/the_basic_marketing_plan_for_indie_.ph

https://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/316705/How_to_market_a_game_with_minimal_budget.php

https://www.patreon.com/posts/18946926

https://www.reddit.com/r/gamedev/comments/6afxr5/marketing_your_game_is_hard_marketing_your_game/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5tyX_IBTXA&feature=youtu.be&a=

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsFgXXjoLi8&feature=youtu.be&a=

[aurimeanswind]

Sunday Chats—Furious Edition (4-9-17)

Here I am, in a post Fast 5, Fast and Furious 6, and Furious 7 world. I guess let’s talk about it.

Relaxing Sunday & Your Name

To kick things off, today was the first Sunday I officially had off from work since Christmas. I had missed a couple here and there, but it was either because I was sick or because of PAX. So this was the real deal. I mean, I should take some weekends off every now and again, but I never do. I almost always work Saturday and Sunday, and it is pretty killer. Sunday is my favorite day of the week, thus me sharing it with all you lovely readers.

So I kicked off my Sunday getting up early and going to a nice matinee. I had heard good things about Your Name, an anime ass anime movie, and I’m still hungering for romance (as always) so I made the time to go see it.

I really enjoyed it. Above all else, the film is astoundingly gorgeous. Some of the best drawn settings I think I have ever seen in a Japanese animation. The landscapes especially legitimately blew my away. It’s a love story between two young folks, a boy and girl, who keep switching bodies when they go to sleep. The premise is really cool, and they make it cute and wonderful in all the right places, and there were twists, which in general I didn’t expect. But there were aspects of it that were frustratingly long to come to fruition. For me, this tactic usually works very well, but it was just the pacing and the way the two characters were introduced that was very confusing or just not to my liking. In the end, I just needed those romantic feels, and I feel like I never fully got that payoff. The way it goes is something that I’ve seen a great deal in anime, and has worked for me in others (see: Waiting in the Summer) but I just don’t think there was enough of that relationship.

I still really liked it, and feel it was a well told story. It was Ghibli-eqsue, but more grounded, so worth a look

Fast and Furious I guess...

Okay I’ll talk about Fast and Furious.

I have been really hesitant to get into these because it’s y’know... cars. I don’t like cars. I like speed and action that involves cars, but the focus on cars usually gets away from me. And the focus around them was definitely my least favorite part about the three F&F movies I watched. I thought Fast 5 was by far the weakest, and I’m not sure why it’s regarded as the best. The intro was too long, and the big set piece scene of dragging the safe around, which was awesome, just went on for waaaaaay too long.

It was still a ton of fun though. Way more love for Gal Gadot because of her role in Fast 5 and 6. She was super cool, and one of my favorite of the team members. The assembling the team, the heist prep, the running from Rock-Cop, all of that worked for me, but I just felt there was more of it and it was better in F&F6.

I mean, Fast and Furious 6, as I was explaining to a friend earlier, is top-tier because of this incredible scene alone:

But 6 really just hit the ground running and never stopped. The London chase scene, the fucking tank, it was all so good.

Oh and this:

And Furious 7 was really great too. It was maybe too much for me because I was so fucking tired watching it I was falling asleep, but these movies are incredibly exhausting, to be fair. 

I appreciated multiple set pieces in Furious 7, instead of hanging on just one. Also to be fair: 6 had a bunch of great set pieces, but there were like six in Furious 7. It was fucking nuts.

I enjoyed them a ton, Fast and Furious 6 is like, far and away the best one to me, and maybe I’ll go see Fate of the 8. I don’t know. 

BUT THERE. I WATCHED THREE OF THEM. I SAW THE FIRST ONE A LONG TIME AGO. LEAVE ME ALONE JOEY NOELLE.

What’s on Tap

Since it’s just Persona 5 still, I’ll talk a bit more about it. I am about 55-60 hours in now, and I feel like maybe I’m halfway through? Maybe more.

LOVING IT. Literally everything about it is incredible and feels almost hand-made for me. It’s difficult for me to not be hyperbolic about it when I start thinking about it, but it’s also difficult for me to nail down what’s really all that great about it when I’m not in it and playing it. Like, a couple days removed form the last time I played it, I’m sitting here thinking, “well, is it really that good?” and that’s because I need to hold this to the highest of judgement. I can’t just say it’s better than Persona 4 Golden and mark it as my new #1 and be done, I need to be thorough here. As soon as I am a couple hours into my next play session, I’ll be head over heels again. I dream about it. I think about it always. I couldn’t even tell you why right now because it’s all hazy. The game is just that good.

We talked about it a ton of the podcast last night, and I think we had a really great discussion. All the new mechanics, all of the enhancements, they show a team they just really gets their fans, their fanbase, and also understand their own shortcomings. They poured their heart and soul into this game, and did it both for themselves, but also for a fanbase they clearly care a great deal about. I don’t think I’ve seen a developer outside of Naughty Dog so in tune with what their fan base wants even better than I, as a massive fan of theirs, could have imagined.

Again, I’m sure its hyperbolic, but the game makes me emotional, gives me chills and misty eyes in all the right places, and as I’m still very much in it, it’s hard for me to write coherently about it. I don’t even know how I feel about it right now, especially considering I’ve hit such massive moments of intrigue just where I last left off. I can’t wait to see more.

Oh and we’re giving away a copy of Persona 5 on Irrational Passions Podcast! If you are in the UNITED STATES ONLY you can tweet @IrrationalPod on Twitter with the #PersonaQ with one thing you think looks cool about Persona 5 and enter a chance to win a steel book copy of the game!

Questions:

I feel like I conveyed my feelings on the series pretty well, but here are some other highlights:

When the Rock drops the Eff-Bomb almost right after he first appears in Fast 5 is great.

When the Rock throws that guy around the interrogation room.

When Vin Diesel just LIFTS A CAR AND NO ONE QUESTIONS IT?!?!

The Paul Walker tribute was quite good.

The idea of Vin Diesel consistently having superhuman abilities is just generally really funny to me.

All the set pieces. The London chase may have been my favorite.

The movies are good, sometimes great, not amazing. But I’m glad I watched them.

There are so many. Morganna in your bag is a great call out. Watching the character’s faces change in scenes is actually really great. Ryuji’s reactions are great, and so are another character that you see later, that I’ll refrain from going into. All the touches and attention to detail in the Metaverse.

That one they drove from one building, to another building, TO ANOTHER FUCKING BUILDING.

I am 55-ish hours in. I don’t really like comparing the characters to other Persona characters. I fell in the same trap from 3 to 4. And I know these games are going to get a lot of comparisons, but honestly they are so different. It’s not as fair to the characters, specifically, to keep going back and forth comparing them. I think the way they develop those characters merits comparison, but maybe not the people themselves.

As for the best girl stuff... Listen, I honestly really fucking hated where all of the “best girl” “my waifu” bullshit with Persona 4 went. Not just because I think I got the brunt of it being a huge fan of Rise, but there is this weird ownership/dismissiveness to it. Like, I totally get, respect, and love the reasons people loved Chie, or Yukiko. I think by saying someone is best, even in a joking manner, because it all starts jokingly, can be a bit dismissive to other folks, and that was the stuff I really hated about the Persona 4 discussions I got dragged into. When people shit on Rise, who I legitimately  love, again, my favorite video game character of all time, it honest to god hurts and offends me. Sure I’m probably being too sensitive, but Persona should be personal, it should feel incredibly close to your heart, that’s what that series is asking of the player and what its going for, so I want to really set a precedent for that going forward. Lead by example or whatever, and not make this some bullshit arbitrary competition.

I know that was way more agro a response than you were probably expecting Jacob, and sorry to get all intense there. Currently I have not chosen a love interest in my own personal story, and still have one female companion left to join the party (going off boxart alone, and what I’ve seen in the story) so I am waiting to get to know her. I’ll say this: my feelings are confused and all over the place. Figuring out where I land will be very hard.

Well, and I tweeted about it this week, I did apply for a recent editor position. This is probably my 6th or so application. In all fairness, this and my last one were probably my strongest, with the ones before being far more disorganized, but yeah. I tweeted saying “please stop asking me about it” in a (mostly) joking way, but I think it came across as a little rude. I obviously incredibly super appreciate all the support and notifications that came through from folks saying that the job listing was up and I should apply. I got a text almost the moment it went up from a friend letting me know I should apply. I’m humbled so many folks believe I’m qualified.

I just also know the reality that choosing from local San Francisco people as well as their own freelance pool will absolutely come first. I’m in neither of those camps, so it’s pretty much already shipped. And I do know these things, I’ve heard stories, I’ve poured my heart and soul into these applications before, and I’ve never once even gotten a call or email. I’m not trying to be pessimistic or dismissive, just want to set the proper expectation.

Thank you all so much for your support. I’m too lucky to have you all cheering me on.

Haha Persona games like really big long supernatural mystery novels! They massive page turners, which leans right into the mechanic of it being a day-by-day progression!

I’ll say this Logan, and you’re gonna love it when you get to it, but the characters are very smart. They sit down and have big discussions and conversations asking each other the same questions you ask yourself while playing, and even come to realizations you yourself may not have gotten too. Especially where I am at in the story, there is a kind of secondary mystery going on that is perplexing both me and my gang of misfits, and the conversations surrounding that mystery or thorough, explored, and just super well done.

Fuck. This game is so good.

EPCOT is super cool! For me, I’ve never really been there as an adult, and it only gets better then. I mean honestly, just walking around the World Showcase is super cool. There is food from a bunch of different places, beer and alcohol from there as well (if you’re into that Harold). I really liked Mission Space, but it’s pretty intense, I don’t know if you’d like it. They have a Green version that’s not super motion-y so you may have fun with that.

I really loved the Ellen/Bill Nye ride there, but apparently that’s gone now. Otherwise, just enjoy the setting, enjoy the food! It’s probably the most fun park to just look at, in my opinion. Oh, and the spaceship Earth ride is a classic!

I did not, but it was definitely immensely sad. It gave me a greater appreciation for Paul Walker and his work. They were running a promo on the Xbox Video Store, where I rented all the movies from, where a portion of the proceeds went to the charity foundation that Paul Walker helped start, so that’s good.

I don’t know... Like, probably the characters that just feel like big copies of the other universe’s characters. Like Firestorm feels like a cheap human torch. I know he isn’t and Firestorm probably came first or whatever, but one character just never felt as interesting to me.

I don’t think there is a standout disaster comic book character for me though.

How about all the characters from The Walking Dead, even though I’ve never read the comic and just really hate the show now.

Like a lot.

When I want to. When it’s time.

I had to look this up because I had no idea what it was. Seems silly and dumb. Roger Pokorny tweeted this out at some point this past week, and I thought it was fucking hilarious:

I believe it’s edited, but it’s still so fucking funny.

The Rock is so great. I realized this week that I don’t think I had ever actually watched a movie with him in it. Like, Moana does not have him physically in it, even though he is so good in it. But yeah, he is really the thing that pushed me over the edge to watch them. And Joey Noelle’s borderline harassment. 

And the safe dragging was great, just went on for too long.

Yeesh. I don’t know. I’m probably living my biggest regret, and it’s probably in regards to finding love.

But really, I don’t know. Taking as long as I did to finish school? Getting sick in high school? I have a lot. Many my closest friends would say were “out of my control” but... That lingering responsibility really messed me up.

This is a great questions! Beignets is the answer. There was this local restaurant near me that only served beignets during their Sunday brunch, and they were so fucking good. It was the only thing that could get me to tear my ass out of bed on the weekend back when I was in grade school.

Then, suddenly, THEY STOPPED SERVING THEM. And literally no good reason was given. I know I could just go to New Orleans and get beignets any day of the week, but i don’t have that power or capability!

Ahg. Still makes me so mad to this day.

Shoutouts

Shout out to P Studio, for taking my heart.

Again.

That’s all I got. Sorry for the shitty shoutout this week, but I am tired from all my furiousness. 

I’m gonna go crash now. Love you all. Love your support.

keep it real.

[jimbicknell-blog]

Turkle’s interview, Louis C.K.’s video, and my daily social media use log.

I’ll preface this by saying that, as a whole, I despise what is quickly becoming in my opinion a bit of a pandemic.  That is, if it isn’t already the modern Spanish Flu only with batteries.  The same sort of thing both Louis and Turkle touch on.  The death of actual conversation in favor of staring dead eyed at a phone screen.  I hate this current shift toward some sort of Facebook generation.

At its inception, Facebook, and the idea behind it, were remarkable.  It was a place to keep in touch with your one group of peers, college aged students. No parents, no preteens, no grandparents.  There were no games at the start, no “likes” if I remember right.  It was simple and served a legitimate purpose.

How far gone a purpose is perhaps debatable, though I’d argue that for the most part, the site as a whole is essentially an internet vampire sucking the life right out of you.  I can think of a thousand things in a second that I’d rather do than share something on Facebook.  I don’t have the app on my phone, my account/password aren’t saved on it, I check it maybe once a year for all of sixty seconds.

Though as I do this, all around me are the people that get netted in.  Especially the young.  I can’t even have a proper conversation with some of my youngest family members because even the youngest of my cousins has a smartphone at this point.  And they don’t just own one, it may as well be welded onto their hand.  Their eyes are downcast to the LED glow, they bob their head as if listening, but their answers are vague and often not on topic.

I remember my first cell.  I was fourteen working a job at a gun range and wanted one for the sole purpose of being able to call my parents for a ride back home.  Something they could call me on if they were going to be late, that sort of thing.  Web wasn’t really a thing on them back then, and while it did do text messaging, it was 10 cents sending or receiving and something I did not use.  I bought the device and paid for my plan both.  Fast forward a bit over a decade and here we are, where my 8 year old cousins have more modern smartphones than I do.

I absolutely agree with Turkle’s idea of sanctuary zones, where you put the phone away and leave it.  Dinner, especially.  This doesn’t apply just to family, either.  When I’m out for a drink with friends, we often have a rule.  Everybody puts their phone away, and anyone caught sneaking a peek is buying everybody else a round.

I will never understand the people filming at a concert.  Especially if they are filming a big screen at a concert.  Louis is right, you’re never going to actually watch that.  People throw it up on facebook or twitter or whatever else and just seek the attention that they were there.  The funny thing is, I actually employ my phone with my gopro setup to do a lot of filming.  Mostly fishing and underwater videos, mahi on the line, sharks bumping against the lens, that sort of thing.  I don’t throw them up on youtube, I don’t put them on facebook, I share them face to face with somebody who couldn’t have been there with me.

Why?  Because nothing starts a conversation off like showing somebody a video of a big, toothy critter about six inches away from the camera.  Or of hauling in tuna in twelve foot rollers some twenty six miles offshore as lightning cracks overhead and waterspouts kick up around the boat. Maybe the one video I wish I’d posted somewhere because I lost it when I accidentally wiped the flash card.

You don’t get that by posting it on facebook or youtube.  Sure, you’d get some likes. Maybe some PETA vegans blowing up the comment section.  But not a conversation.

I think that smartphones are every bit as addictive as maybe even heroin.  There are people who can’t live without it, as described in both videos. They practically live through the device, more attached to it than the world and people around them.  Maybe it is to fill some sort of lonely void as Louis seems to think.  I find it at least equally plausible that it is more a vanity issue.  People get addicted to the “likes”, to the thumbs ups on youtube, to more tweets in their direction.  If tweets in their direction is even a thing, I don’t know, all I’ve ever used it for before this class was when I heard about sports news via some insider.  Even then, I wasn’t actually going to twitter, it’s just where the info first broke.

Moving on to the social media log assignment, it didn’t really take me very long to get a baseline reading.  I don’t ever use my facebook, which is the one social media thing I even have an account for.  I do a tiny bit of texting, if that counts.  Today it was to let my one friend know to head out to meet at the gym, and to another that he isn’t going to stop being pre diabetic by sleeping instead of deadlifting. Another to let a different friend know that, while I let his dog out, he did a bit of a roll through mud while chasing a soccer ball and is probably going to need a bath.  Sorry, Matt, I did the best I could with the towel by the door.

I’m sure that there are people who would share all of this on facebook or instagram or something else.  I see them snapping selfies after two reps, hashtag it with a #swole, and then sit there for another few minutes clicking the pretend cows before leaving and acting like they actually accomplished something.  Arnold has a great term for cellphones in a gym.  “Mickey mouse stuff.”  I’d actually go a bit further and say that applies to just about any situation.  If you’re doing something that should require your full attention, or something amazing like jumping out of a plane, documenting it on your cell should be the last thing on your mind.  To be honest a lot of fishing trips I don’t even remember to turn my gopro on, if I even remembered to charge it, or even pack it.  If you read my first post this week, you’ll note that I don’t even bother uploading these videos anywhere.

I even know a guy who lost his chance at a once in a lifetime trophy deer because he was fiddling trying to do a snapchat, dropped it, and had the buck run off on him.  He feels a bit different about trying something like that now.

It’s a real conflict for me to manage all of this.  I know that social media is basically required for a modern business to actually thrive.  Not because it is really some necessary thing, but because there are billions of phonezombies out there who pay in the same cash everybody else does.  Sure, it has a few other uses, making announcements easier to spread and such.  For the most part, though, it’s just another form of advertisement spam.

All the while I’m actually perfectly content with not uploading my daily life to the web.  If I want to know what somebody else is doing, I’ll usually call or at minimum text.  Maybe an email if it is a bit long winded. I only use these as tools in the cases where an actual face to face conversation isn’t possible, usually because of distance or time.

Concerning my social media experiment, I am actually, for a 24 hour period, going to attempt to use my phone as much as my peers.  I’ll log in to my facebook, I’ll read whatever inane information people have slathered all over, I’ll maybe even confirm those dozens of people I’ve met who send me a friend request after.  I’m writing this little part ahead of time as a way to give my predictions as well.

I have little doubt that I’m going to hate it.  Likely for all of the same reasons I stopped using any social media in the first place.

[rsadelle]

Yuletide 2016

Below the cut is a Yuletide round-up of recs and also the things I wrote.

Stories For Me

all that is good (10136 words) by sevenfoxes Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Bourne (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jason Bourne/Nicky Parsons Characters: Jason Bourne, Nicky Parsons Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, unprotected sex Summary:

You think about Landy, how the hearings meant to expose corruption instead started to swallow her whole, destroying the last genuinely good person you knew at the CIA. You think about Vosen and Conklin and Abbot and all the fucking men who hid behind the flag and a thick line about patriotism while pursuing their own agenda, their own power and money. You think about your father dying alone, believing you were gone, that the last of his family was dead.

“There have to be consequences,” you tell him.

That is the difference between the two of you. Jason wants to be left alone.

You want vengeance.

What I liked: NICKY! I was really excited to get a story all about Nicky. This does a really good job of alternating past and present to flesh out the characters and their relationship. Plus reproductive choices.

make haste from Babylon (3990 words) by Addison R Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Killing Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Stephen Holder & Sarah Linden Characters: Sarah Linden, Stephen Holder Additional Tags: Soul Bond, Writing on Skin Summary:

This must be the new guy, but he sure doesn't look the part.

What I liked: SOULBONDING. I won't give it all away, so suffice to say there's a match to shapes that I enjoyed, and also a pull to keep them together.

Other Stories I Enjoyed

A Divinely Attractive Arrangement (5895 words) by Fahye Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Love and Friendship (2016) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Sir James Martin, Lord Manwaring, Lady Susan Vernon Summary:

A selection from the Private Diary of Sir James Martin of Martindale. Concerning Peas, Friendship, the state of Blessed Matrimony, and several wonders of Modern Medicine.

What I liked: This is absolutely hilarious. The characterization is spot-on, and I laughed all the way through it.

Exclusive, Mutually (1507 words) by youjik33 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Arrested Development Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: George Oscar "Gob" Bluth/Tony Wonder Characters: Michael Bluth, Lindsay Bluth Funke, George Oscar "Gob" Bluth, Tony Wonder Summary:

“You realize they’re only even having a wedding for the attention, right?” Michael asked.

Lindsay looked at him quizzically. “Well, yeah, why else?”

What I liked: This is an outsider pov on Gob and Tony Wonder's wedding. It's funny, and I also suggest listening to the mood music linked in the notes as you read.

Aviens Rex (1603 words) by sumeria Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: birdsrightsactivist (Twitter) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bird (birdsrightsactivist) & Original Character(s) Characters: Bird (birdsrightsactivist), Original Male Character(s), Original Child Character(s) Additional Tags: Twitter, Yuletide, epistolary?, no politics Summary:

In which Brad and Steve just want to have a picnic and a Tyrannosaurus is only another kind of bird.

What I liked: This is a very funny story told in tweets where we see both sides of Bird's interaction with a family having a picnic.

They Call it Undercover Work for a Reason (But Not That Reason) (8273 words) by greywash Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spy (2015), Olympics RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nancy B. Artingstall & Susan Cooper, Susan Cooper/OFC, Susan Cooper/Nancy B. Artingstall/OFC (ish), Susan Cooper/Rick Ford, Susan Cooper/Rick Ford/Nancy B. Artingstall (ish), Nancy B. Artingstall/the Italian men's Olympic rowing team Characters: Susan Cooper (Spy 2015), Nancy B. Artingstall Additional Tags: Yuletide Treat, the olympics, Actual Bids for the 2024 Summer Olympics, (but everything else is made up), (definitely 100 percent made up), Los Angeles 2024, Paris 2024, Budapest 2024, international espionage, Adventure, The CIA: Have Fun and See Europe While Hitting Lots of Dudes in the Face, Rivalry, Hatesex, Alternate title: The Dr. Seuss Compendium of Hatesex, Would you do it on a plane?, Would you do it at a party?, Would you do it in an alley?, Would you do it on a Ferrari?, Cephalopods, Oh my God Rick Ford be better at your job, Susan and Nancy 2017 World Tour, I have 'friends' at the American embassy, Everything author knows about French accents they learned from Harry Potter IV, (sorry France), Irresponsible use of Google Translate, (sorry everyone), shh shh you have a head wound, maybe guest starring some famous person's second cousin once removed or something just because, also there's a yacht Summary:

"Cooper," says Crocker. "We've had word of an agent trying to undermine the American bid for the 2024 Summer Olympics."

"Do we care about the Olympics?" asks Nancy.

What I liked: This is exactly as absurd as a Spy story should be.

10 Things I Hate About Reunions (17278 words) by BryroseA Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kat Stratford/Patrick Verona Characters: Kat Stratford, Patrick Verona, Bianca Stratford Additional Tags: Partial epistolary - text messages, Post-Canon, the 2nd chapter is just the story stripped of all formatting for accessibility Summary:

Is there anyone less likely than Katerina Stratford to go to their high school reunion?

Well...maybe there is one person.

What I liked: I loved the mix of Kat and Bianca's relationship and the improbable coincidences that happen because of Bianca's scheming.

And All The Roads Are Blinding (7978 words) by moemachina Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kat Stratford/Patrick Verona Characters: Kat Stratford, Patrick Verona, Bianca Stratford, Cameron James Additional Tags: Lovers to Friends to Lovers, Sisterhood, Social Media, History of Technology Summary:

In the years after high school, Kat tentatively becomes friends with her ex-boyfriend Patrick. And then Bianca gets married.

What I liked: The slow reconnecting, and also the bits about Bianca's relationships with her exes.

Days Gone Down (1614 words) by Nomad Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Eroica Yori Ai o Komete | From Eroica with Love Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Klaus von dem Eberbach, Klaus von dem Eberbach's father, Dorian Red Gloria Additional Tags: Future Fic, Yuletide Treat Summary:

An aging Klaus has a conversation with his father.

What I liked: Aging, the connection between Klaus and his father, the mix of that serious conversation with the ridiculousness that (of course) occurs when Dorian shows up.

Friday Night Bracing for Monday (21485 words) by Addison R Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Will Hunting (1997) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Will Hunting/Chuckie Sullivan Characters: Chuckie Sullivan, Will Hunting, Morgan O'Mally, Billy McBride Additional Tags: Sharing Clothes, Happy Ending, Sharing a Bed, Postcards, Canon-typical language, Families of Choice, Past Violence, Past Child Abuse, Post-Movie(s), Yuletide 2016 Summary:

Chuckie grows up a little, and Will moves back to Boston.

What I liked: Stories about people growing up and getting their lives together are my faaaavorite.

The Dame's Only Doing It for that Doll (1561 words) by major_general Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Guys and Dolls - Loesser/Swerling/Burrows Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sarah Brown/Sky Masterson Characters: Sky Masterson, Sarah Brown, Nicely-Nicely Johnson Additional Tags: Rule 63, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sky Masterson, Misses Clause Challenge Summary:

Sgt. Sarah Brown runs a mission on her own terms in the years after agreeing to a Boston marriage with Sky Masterson.

What I liked: Lesbian Sky Masterson! Also the effect of a gangster and a missionary making a life together.

Renovation (2712 words) by faithfulcynic Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Practical Magic (1998) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Bridget "Jet" Owens, Frances Owens Additional Tags: Humor, Siblings, Magic, The House has Opinions, Franny watches HGTV, Jet wants another brownie Summary:

Every decade or so, Frances has the urge to renovate the House and every decade or so the House has other plans. Jet always gets caught in the middle.

What I liked: I enjoyed the House's personality and the battles it has with Frances.

Stories By Me

Every Single Holiday (4043 words) Fandom: Spy (2015) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Susan Cooper/Rick Ford Characters: Susan Cooper (Spy 2015), Rick Ford, Nancy B. Artingstall Additional Tags: Dick in a Box, 5+1 Things Summary:When it comes to gift-giving, Ford's repertoire is somewhat limited.

First Choices (2017 words) Fandom: Chalion Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: the Bastard (Chalion), Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting Summary:A growing number of L.G.B.T. Quintarians are choosing to devote themselves to gods other than the Bastard.

Life to the Kingdom (2097 words) Fandom: The Huntsman (Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Huntsman/Sara (The Huntsman)/Snow White (The Huntsman), The Huntsman/Sara (The Huntsman), The Huntsman/Snow White (The Huntsman), Sara (The Huntsman)/Snow White (The Huntsman), Snow White/William (The Huntsman) Characters: The Huntsman (The Huntsman), Sara (The Huntsman), Snow White (The Huntsman), William (The Huntsman) Additional Tags: Threesome - F/F/M, Infidelity, Future Fic Series: Part 1 of The Huntsman: Future's Hope Summary:When the kingdom of the north had been freed and the mirror's shards taken to Sanctuary, Eric and Sara returned to Snow White's kingdom.

Hope Of Our Hearts (4031 words) Fandom: The Huntsman (Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Huntsman/Sara (The Huntsman)/Snow White (The Huntsman), The Huntsman/Sara (The Huntsman), The Huntsman/Snow White (The Huntsman), Snow White/William (The Huntsman) Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Snow White (The Huntsman), William (The Huntsman), The Huntsman (The Huntsman), Sara (The Huntsman), Ravenna (The Huntsman) Additional Tags: Future Fic, Past Infidelity Series: Part 2 of The Huntsman: Future's Hope Summary: When the Heir to Snow White's kingdom, who was known to the people not only by her name of Hope but also as Hope-of-our-hearts, had reached her majority, word came from the kingdom to the east that they were being harried at their eastern border by an army of nearly supernatural strength.