#but i cant move on to something else until its done because its a bound notebook

[enbyzombies2]

OK YAY, i thought it was cool but also i wouldve hated to make an ass of myself. Im also going to preempt everything i say here by insisting that im not normally this sadistic i swear. This is all fords fault <3

Theres a very interesting idea in an alien doctor just assuming ford’s body will handle it, dissolve and discorporate anything left behind- the type of medical negligence created just by plain ignorance. But youre right. I was being much more insane than that.

My initial thoughts were more along the lines of branding him- and i still really like the idea of him remaining oblivious to the indiscretion, a piece of something that should not be there carried with him. An internal thorn in his side that he can't identify, much less remove, without help.

But oh god. What if you didnt leave something small, that his body silently protests, and tries but ultimately fails to push out. What if it hurt. 

Assuring him that everything is fine once he's out of surgery, once the pain meds start tapering off and he starts to suspect something is wrong. Ford, after however many years surviving in the multiverse, is very familiar with his body, how it feels, his limits and pain tolerances. He starts worrying sooner than anyone else would that this pain isn't right- but you reassure him, and youre the one who cut him open, youre the one in charge of his care, so he tries to listen. He waits for the wound to heal, impatiently self-recording his recovery hour by hour. 

But it doesn't get better- maybe parts of it do, as his flesh begins to mend itself, but there's still something very wrong with the pain he feels, the dosage isn't nearly high enough for him to power through it, and with his tolerances it should be.

You seem concerned when he insists that somethings not right. He thinks youre listening to him, youre taking him seriously, and feels relieved when you lift away his gown to check the incision. You ghost your hands over his flushed chest, lightly pressing the wound, the expected bruising, but his pain responses are all within normal bounds, and you tell him as much. Your concern and focus drop away to boredom when you run out of things to check; you hover, for a second, over where you left those metal forceps tucked in between layers of muscle and fascia, but you dont push into his flesh there. You like them being there, and you want his body to accept them already- it wouldnt do to purposefully aggravate the area. He insists something isnt right, that you must have missed something, as you cover him back up and prepare to leave, so fine. You expand the estimate of his recovery time, place him on indefinite rest, get a nurse to constantly monitor his condition and make sure he doesnt try to get up until his wounds heal better. Subjecting the proud Ford Pines to the many indignities of that level of care, because despite how frustrating he finds being treated like this, didnt he ask for it? He can hardly argue against you keeping him in bed all day every day; he cant even sit up without crying out, let alone walk around. Really, youre doing right by him.

I dont know how long you could feasibly keep him like that, in a state he would refuse to accept, but as he continues to not improve you examine him again. You press against his wound, run a sanitized finger along your neat stitches- he's healing beautifully, doesn't he know that? The surgery went without a hitch, it was clean work. He nods, grits his teeth, suffers through it. It hurts, but it isnt what hurts, its not the problem. He knows its not the problem; he insists you find it.

Finally, your hands move away from the incision, to just above where you know you left those Allis. You gently press into the tissue, and watch as his face instantly strains and then slackens from the pain. Guess his body couldn't handle it, after all. Oh well, no harm done; at least now you know. “Is it here?” you redundantly ask, and he can't even respond- so of course you press a little harder, drinking in the way his face turns a shade paler, before easing up.

Yes, he says, when he finally can. It’s there.

You tell him youre so sorry for not finding this sooner; its only, this isn’t the part of his chest you operated on. His symptoms are consistent with some sort of internal injury, but it cant be the surgery that caused it.

“There's something else wrong with you?”

Guess you'll have to open him back up to find and fix it.

How much... could you get away with? How many things could you fill him with; how many foreign bodies that aren’t meant to be there could you sink under his skin, safe and secure and known only to you? How much could you alter his body without his knowledge, without his consent, under the guise of care?

Theres so much trust implicit in seeking medical care from a stranger, so its his body, sure, but hes not familiar with your techniques and technologies; theres a level of unease that he'll be forced to brush off. And no, you have other patients, youre not going to spend your time explaining these things that might be alarming to him; YOU know whats best for his body. If he wants your help he's going to have to act like it. 

And even once he does feel suspicious, how much could you get away with anyway? He needs your help; he wouldnt have come here in the first place if he didnt.  How many petty harms would he accept? In better circumstances, back home on Earth, not being hunted down or in constant fear for his life, of course he’d leave as soon as he didnt trust a doctor. Stanford always knows he knows best for himself; he'd leave for less. But what if he’s truly desperate? What if youre the only option? How many minor grievances will he grit his teeth and accept when he needs care that he absolutely cannot provide himself? (How many non-petty harms could you slip by, while he's focused on not crashing out about the running tally in his head, of ways your care has been suboptimal?) 

And when you do finally send him on his way, of course it's with his injuries fully healed- you are a doctor, you know what you're doing- but not without his body riddled with indelible marks, hidden in places only accessible by a scalpel.

um... i have other thoughts about this but doing it differently... however im uncharacteristically busy as shit today and i have kept you waiting long enough. i might write them up later. new kink discovered i guess oops

YESSSSSS

God. Leaving a permanent mark on him- in him. Not so easily removed and not so easily denied. It’s a similar thesis to aspects of pregnancy kink, something about owning another person’s body by adding a bit of yourself there. What is more emblematic of a surgeon than their tools?

And believe me, I wasn’t assuming it was something small. The most common things left in bodies post-op are often huge things like towels and scissors and even a 13-inch retractor. It’s not something that’s going to take time to realize is there- the pain is immediate and immense, overpowering, because he knows something is wrong as much as his body does. His body will still try to get it out of his body, attack it as best as it can, but you can’t just get rid of something so big- the body is meant to attack viruses, which are at best 300 nanometers, not a foot in length.

Waking up, Ford is probably just happy that it’s over once he wakes up, ready to recover and get back to his mission probably earlier than is recommended. Depending on the reason for the surgery in the first place, too, because something like a serious injury from an enemy is a much different upset and unfairness than like. A cyst. So when you tell him everything went well, he’s so relieved that in his drug-addled state, he thanks you, from the bottom of his heart. It’s sweet, and a beautiful moment between patient and doctor- to an outsider. To you, it’s a hilarious moment of irony that only you’re in on, one you have to keep yourself from laughing about when he’s still there- though, you could just let it out by laughing off his thankfulness and saying that it’s just your job, he has nothing to thank you for. But he does! Even when the meds wear off and it starts to hurt too much to think, he’s still thankful for your help. Pain is weakness leaving the body, right? It means he’s healing. Until it gets so bad that even he can’t handle it.

Ford has a high pain tolerance after everything, methinks. Even if he doesn’t, he can pretend- but now he can’t. It’s so bad that he can’t even pretend to be just fine, knows despite his stubbornness that he can’t just leave. He’s in tune with his body, kind of has to be after being out of control of it for so long (trauma responses, eh?), so he knows that something isn’t right. He shuts his mouth when you wave him off, tell him you saw everything and took care of him, you know his body better than he does. And maybe you do- you actually saw his insides and cut a piece of them out. He can’t say that. So he just lays in his bed and chats with the nurses when he can, both because they’re sweet and tell him some fun facts about interdimensional medicine, and because if he’s nice enough (or annoying enough) maybe they’ll up his dosage.

His wound heals, closes up, the stitches dissolve and/or the staples are removed, but there’s this presence there, this deep discomfort that worsens into pain whenever he moves even slightly. He knows this isn’t right, he knows himself, the pain wasn’t this bad even during the worst of times. He’s feverish and sweaty, so weak and tired. Wiping the sweat off his abdomen as you palpate it and listen to him fail to hold back a whine or grunt. It’s fine, you tell him, he’s probably just got a minor post-op infection, since he’s not from this dimension and his body is reacting to the foreign bacteria. He wants to accept this idea, but he’s been through so many dimensions already and gotten injured in most of them- there’s no reason for his body to react so poorly. You do the doctor thing of sighing and accusing him of thinking he knows more than you- he doesn’t have a medical degree, does he? Especially not one in interdimensional medicine. If he’s going to be so demanding, then fine, you’ll give him what he wants- if what he wants really is to stay here longer and risk being caught or getting you in trouble, high on opiates and barely conscious the whole time. (Also… hghgghghhh @ that description of the forceps in his body. I imagine them resting in the abdominal cavity, resting against his organs and pressing out against his abdomen itself…)

Here’s the thing- Ford is an interdimensional criminal. He is wanted across dimensional lines. You taking him in and taking care of him and keeping the authorities from finding him? That’s a favor one is indebted to for life, the life you saved. You could easily fix him up and send him straight to Bill, or not even waste your resources on him in the first place. But you didn’t, you helped him, and he should be eternally grateful for that. To get indignant and rude with you? To accuse you of such misconduct? That’s horrible. Even if you did mess up, what right does he have to be mad about it? It’s such an interesting thing, the idea of being indebted to someone for their humanity extended to you. And Ford, a survivor of such severe abuse; isolation and gaslighting and manipulation over potential years? Well, there are different reactions to being put in that position all over again, and they’re either to refuse to let it happen ever again, become defensive to a fault so that nobody will ever even think about it; or to faun to it, accept it because it’s all you know. How long you can keep him there depends on how far Ford is willing to be pushed.

Checking in on him on a daily basis to check his healing and see if there’s really something wrong. Pressing where it hurts, but not enough to clue him in to what’s going on there, just enough to jostle the clamp and make it hurt. Admiring his body that’s steadily losing its tone from being so sick, using so much energy to fight an invader that can’t be defeated. And fuccckckkkkk I love that description. Knowing it just hurts so fucking much and continuing anyway, asking when you know he can’t respond. His face going pale and drenched with sweat, and him choking on his own breath, jaw working as he tries to speak. And FUCK with convincing him it’s not your fault, he’s just… it’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything, though maybe him poking around didn’t help. He’s just so. Sensitive. Prone to issue. You tell him he’ll have to be opened up again and he fails to hold back his sobs. Reassuring him that you’ll take care of him, it’ll all be okay…

Do you think the nurses are in on it? The staff? They have to be to turn the cheek- that or you're just that good at hiding it. Do you think you've done this before, or is he the first? Does he just inspire the worst in people (it's the cute aggression lol)? I wonder if he'll ever figure it out, start going silent during your exams and watch your every move, "listen" to your reassurances with this knowing look on his face. Smiling at him and giving him a kind, reassuring touch that makes his face twist in barely contained rage that he knows he can't act out- you're completely in control, aren't you? He couldn't escape if he wanted to, not until you're done with him, find your work satisfactory. When you finally tell him he can leave soon, he doesn't let himself get his hopes up, figures there's something else you have prepared for him- and maybe you do, but it's not something he'd know for a long time, years down the line when he finds another doctor who can look at his X-ray in horror, asking how the hell any doctor worth their salt could let this happen? He stays silent.

[marvelmymarvel]

Behind the Mask

Kakashi Hatake x Reader

Synopsis: You never realized how much you missed seeing him in the mask, until he put it back on.

Song: City of the Dead by Eurielle https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=7bpwXXEKDAg&feature=share

A/n: The gif I think is when he was 14ish, but him and the reader are both 25 in this story. Also, I’m a sucker for Naruto Mom Figure reader. Fight me on it.

Everything felt tense despite the crowds around you cheering happily. You didn't know if the feeling was because of your own Shinobi instincts or if you knew that an enemy was planning on targeting this event thanks to Kakashi. Naruto tugged on your arm, snapping you from your thoughts as he began to bound towards the seats. You were able to catch yourself and catch up with him, but the sudden loud roar of the crowd caused your breath to catch in your throat. 

Naruto let go of your hand as you entered the mouth of the archway leading to the stands, you were on the second level of the arena, hoping that maybe you could have time to get the both of you out of there in case something happened. The second level was also where you saw them. Your eyes caught sight of the ANBU on the roof tops, causing your blood to run cold. “Son of a bitch” you breathed out, if Naruto caught sight of them he would surely know that something was up.

Biting your lip, you let the boy drag you down to the middle row, innocently unaware of the threat that the ANBU’s presence foreshadowed. “HEY!” Naruto’s screech caused you to jump, eyes wide and frantically searching around for any threat, only stopping when you heard Naruto laugh beside you. “Man, you are jumpy today! Kakashi-Sensei wasn’t kidding when he said that you jump every time he surprises you” 

Your eyes narrowed at the blonde before you stuck out your tongue at him, “Don't forget who raised you, ya little shi-” Another roar of clapping and cheers cut you off and pulled Naruto’s attention to the fighting below. He soon joined in on the cheering, standing quickly as he shook his fists and screamed along with those around you. Slyly, you drug your eyes across the mouth of the open roof. 

“Did you see that!?” Naruto screamed back at you, making your e/c eyes snap back to his. A sweet smile formed on your face, dread flowing through your veins as the number you counted repeated over and over in your head. “No... But I’m sure it was amazing, right!?” 8, there were 8 ANBU on top of the building.

This was serious. 

Naruto nodded at your question and began to explain what just happened but before he could finish, he was once again cut off by the cheering. You watched him silently, your smile falling as you realized how stupid this was. You should have just told the kid that you couldn’t go, but you knew him. If you told him no he would come by himself, and in turn he would have been in danger without you being there to protect him.

But who was to protect you?

Sure you were a Shinobi, had been for about 11 years now, but you weren’t the best of the best. You were no Kakashi, hell, you were a nobody. You were just a pawn, you weren’t the queen of the chess board. “Fuck” you hissed as Naruto knocked over his drink onto you in excitement, his face falling in fear at the word that fell from your lips. 

“I’m sorry”

You realized it sounded harsh just by the way his voice shook, forcing a smile onto your face you stood and brushed off the ice that soaked your pants. “I’ll go get us another drink, okay kiddo?? You stay here and keep cheering.” leaning over to press a kiss to the top of his head, you smiled at the way his mood changed. He didn’t fight you off, once again engrossed in the fight as he began cheering. 

Turning away from him, you let your smile drop as your thoughts began to cloud your head. You weren’t safe, meaning he wasn’t safe. Fuck, where was Kakashi when you needed him?! No, no he cant know that the two of you are here, he told you not to be here. He specifically stated that this attack would most likely happen. But did you listen, no, and look where it got you! 

In danger.

“Fuck” you snapped out as you whipped the empty cup into the trashcan at the top of the stairs. A couple people threw glares your way at your profanity, but you simply pushed past them and headed towards the bathrooms. You had to think of something, but you couldn’t with all of the screaming going on. Spotting the sign for the bathrooms, you picked up your pace, the taste of silence on your tongue.

Turning the corner, you began to walk down the hall towards the bathrooms. While the silence began to surround you the further you walked, so did the fear that something was off. Stopping in your tracks, your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to pinpoint the feeling. Your breath caught as the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, spinning around, you were face to face with an ANBU.

But the mask gave you a mixture of both dread and relief.

The mixture of feelings confused you, but what confused you even more was the fact that you instinctively threw yourself into his arms. You let out a sob as you shoved your face into his neck, he wrapped his arms around you slowly and while it was sweet, you could feel his anger in the way he held onto you. Despite everything going on around you. Despite the fact that he was pissed off on another level that you were here. 

You couldn’t help but feel safe when your own personal ANBU was near. “I told you not to come here, Y/n. What the hell are you doing here” Kakashi's snarl caused you to whimper as you shoved your face further into his neck in order to ‘hide’ from him. The feeling of his arms around you was nice, and the mere sight of the mask you missed so much filled you with relief. Yet, you couldn’t help but be concerned with why he was wearing it.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you pulled back from him. Looking up, you could see a hint of his Sharingan from the left eye hole while the other was pitch black. “Why are you wearing the mask” you whispered out, hands slowly going up to cup the sides of it. He didn’t push you away as you traced your fingers along the red lines, something you used to always do during his time with the elite group of Shinobis.

“That's what you’re asking me?” 

You fought back a sly smirk, but he saw a hint of mischief glimmer in your eyes as you cocked your head up at him. “You know I’ve always loved this mask, but I never liked what it did to the man I loved behind it” Sadness soon replaced your mischief as you remembered the sleepless nights and panic attacks that being apart of the ANBU did to Kakashi. The third Hokage pulling him from the team was the best thing that he could have ever done, especially since Kakashi is too damn stubborn to quit.

Even if it could have killed him.

Nausea formed in your throat, causing you to gulp at the sudden change of your emotions. You didn’t want to see this mask anymore, you just wanted to see him. Tears formed at the corners of your eyes as your fingers rested at the bottom edge of the mask. Kakashi didn’t fight you as you lifted it up with shaky fingers, knowing that what he went through was also felt by you, just on a different level.

Quite possibly a worse level.

“I hate this mask, I hate what it did to you” you whimper out, tears falling down your cheeks as you ripped it off his head. His eyes stared at you, pain clearly evident on both his face and in his eyes. You didn’t know if it was his own personal sadness, or if he was saddened by your reaction, but it didn’t matter to you. 

You dropped the mask to the ground before placing both hands on his face, “Please, never put that back on.” The both of you knew that he couldn’t exactly keep that promise, but neither one of you wanted to say it. Your fingers snuck under the top of the cloth covering the lower half of his face, only then did he grabbed your hands in his, eyes warning you to be more cautious of your surroundings. 

“We’re alone” you muttered out, eyes wide and pleading for him to let you see him. It wasn’t like you didn't see his face as you saw it every day, but right now, right here, the need to see him was intense. He could sense your urgency and how you were teetering on a mental breakdown. He wished that he could tell you that he was a different person now behind the mask. 

But you had to see it for yourself.

Letting go of your fingers, he let you peel down the cloth till it fell below his chin. His hands rested on your cheeks, thumbs swiping away the tears as your own hands wandered around his face. “It's me, I'm still here with you” he cooed out as your fumbling grew rough and desperate. Nothing felt real, it felt like you were both transported to the past. The past where you loved seeing him in the mask, as it showed strength, yet you hated it as it hurt the man you truly loved wearing it.

“I don’t want to lose you” 

He shook his head firmly, his own fingers digging into your fleshy cheeks as if he was trying to ground you to him. “You’re not gonna lose me, stop your tears. Its just a mask” his words would seem harsh to anyone else, but the words he spoke were the same words you would coo in his ear when he couldn’t sleep. They were the same words you’d remind him every time he left for a mission. They were the same words you’d state when he’d return.

Its just a mask.

Nodding, you moved your hands down to cup the sides of his neck, enjoying the feeling of his warm flesh on your finger tips. He observed you, looking for any signs that you were about to breakdown again, but he was relieved when a smile formed on your lips. You looked back up to say something but were unable to get a word out as he pressed his lips firmly against yours. A moan of surprise flew from your lips as he pushed you back towards the wall. You tripped over the mask, causing it to skid across the hall as you sunk deeper into his embrace. 

For a minute, the two of you felt alone in the world. As if nothing else mattered and no danger could ever get to you. A particularly loud roar of cheering broke you apart, breathing shakily as you tried to catch your breath.

His thumb caressed your chin lovingly, "Next time I tell you to stay home... Please listen" you smiled sheepishly at the words, completely forgetting about how much trouble you were in. "Actually, do me a favor. Fake a sickness to Naruto, that'll surely make him worried enough to help you home... You both need to get out of here" he continued to talk as he moved away from your breathless body. He pulled up his cloth as he reached down to grab the kicked away mask.

It would be the last time he'd wear this mask... He had to make sure of it, because he wasn't sure if he could see the heartbroken look on your face again. You nodded at his plan, knowing that Naruto was always worried about your health and in turn would do anything to make sure you were 'safe and sound'. Moving back to you, Kakashi stopped just centimeters from your face. Your eyes were trained on the mask in his hands, the urge to burn the stupid thing bubbling to the surface of your chest. He cupped your chin once more before forcing your head up to look at him. "I love you" he whispered out before pressing his covered lips against yours. Pulling back, he slipped on the mask and began to walk down the hall.

"Please come back to me" you cried out, pushing off the wall shakily as you watched him go. He halted at your outcry, a hidden smile forming on his lips as he looked back at you.

"I'll always come back to you"

[haditadelchampu]

so since i’ve been studying tarot cards & deeper meanings for a while, i’ve decided to make a post on how the three of swords could connect to the chaos chapter: freeze & how it has also always connected to the TXT +U.

so let’s start with the upright wisdom as that is how it is tattooed:

- awakening to suffering

- heartbreak

- tending to the heart

- growth through pain

- betrayal

- resentment

- delays

the three of swords is a card that helps one through painful realizations. while the goal is to evolve & expand, you might experience/be experiencing a difficult recognition (i’ll get to how that connects to the +U). pulling this card may refer to news or an event that has awakened your suffering. in love it could be heartbreak, for relationships in general its a sign that what you have with a person will bring a dosage of hurt. once you acknowledge this pain, avoidance can only make it worse.

we know that their friendship has had many obstacles. & while many see soobin as the savior and yeonjun as the one who always has to face death, it’s deeper than what we see at surface.

yeonjun repeatedly going through the same thing could be the consequence of not allowing himself to grow to his full potential. there is still so much to see until our question of “why?” or “who or what is holding him back exactly?” is answered for sure.

but until then, yeonjun has to go through constant rebirth in order to find what he is missing & to break through that blockage. this picture below connects back to the term of recognition, & it may be why he is the one who has that tattoo placed on him. (also, engaging in self love/putting yourself first is a form of healing the wounds the three of swords points out, so yeonjun is definitely the one who goes through the most because him not doing so causes schisms in their group.)

the three of swords being about heartbreak & loss makes it impossible to not come in contact with sorrow and anger. quarrels & miscommunications (plus distance) are bound to happen, especially with those we are close to.

& as we know the group has been together since they were little kids meaning that even though they have seen each other grow up, that does not necessarily mean they acknowledged each other’s mental & emotional growth due to being together all of the time. we have seen each of them going through a moment/moments of outgrowth whether it’s from one person or their friend group in general.

because of this, that’s why the periods of them putting the hardships to the side for a while seems so magical and dreamlike. it’s almost as if in this (difficult) time of their friendship, that “happy” stage is impossible to achieve.

now lets get into betrayal and resentment. strong personalities could be at play, & not everyone is telling the truth. just from my pov, it seems that they are avoiding confrontations with each other. sometimes i see their reactions stem from them constantly hurting each other. there is the theory that beomgyu was never a part of their group, and he feels hurt whenever he is ignored. he might not speak up about it, but he definitely knows where he stands/his role in their group (awareness). could the reason he tried to suffocate taehyun be because he thought “if you are gone, that means there will be one less and my hopes of becoming that one friend that belongs will be fulfilled”?

keep in mind, built up vexation only makes things worse which is most likely why they have entered the three of swords stage. (side note for betrayal, cant you see me is literally the epitome of this. “who’s a liar”, yeonjuns “shh” with the fire scene, etc. once again, avoidance as well as oblivion).

i am not saying this is a straight up toxic friendship, it is just one full of miscommunication due to the fact that confrontations with one another could rise into conflicts. what are they so silent about? if they’re friends, shouldn’t it be easy to talk to one another? well, confrontations could lead to one walking away despite everything they have gone through together. it seems they fear this because it would mean they could potentially face the obstacles & consequences by themselves knowing they wouldn’t be able to handle it.

i can certainly see this new chapter being the outcome of what they created: chaos. they need to move on from their past, confront the present, & not avoid their responsibilities before they start to heal. this could be an opportunity of forgiveness which will result in understanding if done w/ effort. them trying to deal with monsters & the “evil” in their story distracts them from what they need to focus on before all else: each other individually & where their friendship stands. the three of swords doesn’t necessarily mean the end of a relationship nor is it always connecting to something negative, it’s just a symbol that a difficult time period will be powering over a situation for a while but healing will occur and one will move on.

i hope you enjoyed this read! feel free to comment your thoughts! <3 (this was an original thread on my twitter: @/emiliavaientina)

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Final Wayne's

Masterlist

Warnings:mentions of sex?, swearing mostly fluffy

A/n:Im really happy with this one wasn’t sure how to go about it but i think its pretty sweet. Hope you enjoy xx

You meet the final two wanye’s when they all storm the cafe. 

The Final Wayne's

You hummed along with the radio as you when out the front of the cafe closing a bit earlier as you hadn't had any customers in for nearly 2 hours. You spun the sign round and locked the door you were going to use the extra time to tidy the cafe properly instead of the rushed quick sweep that's normally done. Turning to volume up louder you danced around clearing the last few cups popping them in the sink coming back out with a mop bucket and broom and began to stack the chairs against one wall getting ready for a proper sweep. you nearly jumped out of your skin when someone tried to come bounding threw the door bouncing off it with a loud bang. you ran across the cafe hearing laughter.

"Why the fuck is it closed?!" Ah. Damien, you heard him before you saw him which made sense as he was currently sprawled out on the floor as Jack and Tim laughed at him joined by two older boys , well boys, one looked a few years younger then you... so technically he was an adult . you stuttered clicking who these other two probably were. Unlocking the door you squatted down to Damien.

"Shit are you ok? you didn't hit your head? did you?" you said reaching for him grabbing his face tilting it down trying to see the back of his head. He growled slapping you away

"I'm fine... does your boss know you've shut early? could have been a customer that'd have been a lawsuit ..stupid woman" you stood up crossing your arms at him.

"well I'm lucky it was just your skinny little ass then aren't I?" you deadpanned causing the another wave of laughter as Damien pulled him self up

"come on in" you lead them all in the older boys pulled themselves chairs around a table directly in front of the counter. turned looking for the others as jack wandered out of the kitchen with a fresh brownie Damien following with a blueberry marzipan muffin.

"Oo are those fresh?" Tim said walking past you into the kitchen to get himself one. you raised your hands exasperated.

"By all means help yourselves" you said shaking your head as they gave you cheeky grins before sitting down next to the others.

"Did you make these?" Damien asked you nodded

"Yep made em all today" he gave you a contemplating look

"You are forgiven for the door....if you give this recipe to Alfred" you rolled you eyes

"Oh yippee here I thought I'd have to beg for the young masters forgiveness" Jack snorted into his brownie.

"Y/n this is Dick and Jason our older brothers" Tim finally introduced with half a mouthful of muffin.

"Tim don't speak with your mouthful" you scolded before turning to Dick and Jason, you were nervous about meeting them, you knew that Dick was 20 and Jason was 17 not that much younger than you. Dick smiled brightly Jason followed

"Its nice to meet you both, but I thought Bruce wanted to introduce us at dinner next Monday?" Dick opened his mouth to reply but Damien beat him to it

"They were sulking cos me and Tim have already met you, and they couldn't wait so me Tim and Jack found them wandering about looking for the cafe completely lost." Dick looked embarrassed and Jason looked just about ready to beat Damien to a pulp.

"W-we did not we just decided to explore this part of Gotham.. we haven't been down this way before and heard good things." you giggled a little. feeling a little better now that they were talking.

"Can I have a go on the coffee machine?" Tim asked having finished his muffin you thought about it for a second then nodded, he jumped up following you round to it

"Anyone else want one?" Dick and Jason nodded Damien and Jack pulled a face. No.

You showed Tim how to load the espresso and turn it on trying to hold back laughter as he jumped back when he activated the steamer wand you caught the jug of milk just in time leaning over him you showed him the easiest way to froth the milk putting his hand on the knob controlling the steamer telling him when to turn it ,pointing out on the thermometer where he should let it go to he did it. Managing not to burn the milk then you demonstrated how to pour for certain coffees. He beamed when he got it right proud of himself then quickly controlled his face putting on a smug 'yeah of course I did it' face handing his brothers their coffees before going to sit down

"Oi! get back here you haven't cleaned up, you gotta wipe the wand and let some steam through to clear it." he come back hesitantly taking the folded cloth from you

"Wont it burn me?" you shook your head

"Just wipe it quick, then use the rubber bit to push it to the tray and give it a quick blast" he did as instructed and smiled bright going back to his coffee. Dick and Jason had been watching quietly as you taught their younger brother how to use the machine, yanking Tim away tilting your self in front of him when you though he could get hurt as the steam spat the milk when he hadn't held it high enough. Feeling more relaxed with you they saw how you patiently taught Tim how to do it. They had their doubts ,they had been a bit worried about their father dating someone so young. Imagining a typical younger woman trying to worm her way into their house for money or fame. They were caught off guard when their dad had first told them about you. Normally he didn't bother the women were never serious and gobsmacked when Damien threatened them to be kind, it was then they then decided they would catch you off guard, worried about how you could have possibly influenced Tim and Damien. But watching you interact with them they saw that you were very genuine. When it had come out earlier that day that you were Jacks sister, they felt slightly better knowing a bit of the story. How instead of abandoning him to the system to continue your studies, you'd pulled out that same day, moving back home planning and arranging your parents funeral and staying, giving up on your own prospects to become his guardian and raise him finding a job to support you both and pushing him to apply for the scholarship helping him get in. Thank god you did since Jack had become Damien's saving grace, he had calmed down and was almost a completely normal 13 year old boy...until he put on his suit then all bets were off. They found it fascinating seeing you swing from the playful sister to patient parent and back as you had grabbed Jack in a head lock poking at him tickling him for teasing you. They shared a look. Yes you would fit in fine.

"hahahah no-nooo st-stop it hahaa!fuck off y/n" he cried between laughs squirming then the fun and games stopped as ha accidentally headbutted your nose

"OH FUCK!" you shouted grabbing your nose eyes watering he gasped apologizing as damien panicked grabbing napkins in case of a nose bleed. He tried pulling your hand away.

"ssshhiit oh im fine- im good its ok-- fuck sake why is your head so hard?" he looked sheepish asking if you were ok you nodded to him waving a hand.

"I was going to get so much done here tonight but now I cant be asked" rubbing your nose again sniffing checking your hands for blood. None good. Huffing you leaning forward onto the table you looked across that table to Dick and Jason. You'd felt there eyes on you all this time.

"You know your both just like Bruce. He just sat there staring when he met me to." you offered chuckling nervously trying to break what you thought was tension not knowing that they had already approved of you.

"They are trying to suss you out. They are worried about you being after money or something." Tim added sipping the last of his coffee leaning back as everyone shouted at him.

"TIM!" You swallowed collecting yourself taking a deep breath, here it comes then. You looked at them smileing sadly nodding pulling back into yourself. You knew it they didn't like you. Obviously they wouldn't, fuck sake you were 5 years older than one and 8 years older then the other. You knew it.

"I-I don't want anything like that..I know its weird because we are about the same age.. if you feel uncomfortable with your dad and I just say the word and it will end I'm not going to be a home wrecker- fuck I new this would happen" you looked away trying to hide your tears. That was that then. Already planing to phone Bruce. Jason jumped interrupting your thoughts rushing forward grabbing your hands that rested on the table in front of you making you look at him as he saw you start breaking down, ready to run again. They'd heard bits and pieces about what happened for Tim. Jack growled angrily going to push Jason off of you before he started speaking.

"NO! no its not like that- we did- I mean at first, when dad first mentioned you and then when Tim and Damien gushed about you. We were worried I mean he's our dad but we didn't know who you were then,no one told us that you were Jacks y/n and we see now that's not the case. Your genuine and we don't have a problem with your age."

Dick continued for him as Jason looked panicked and lost for words.

"Yes we saw today your miles of years ahead of us in maturity we- well we just wanted to meet you without dad there. And like Jason said he is our dad we just don't want to see him hurt again." he added you looked between them still unconvinced fears you had still taunting you.

"I.. I'd never hurt him I love him." you admitted quietly.

"You- You love him?" Jack questioned you nodded smiling Dick smiled softly at you seeing the honesty in your words. He knew then that you weren't going anywhere he'd make sure of it.

"Then Don't leave him... We haven't seen him like this in...Ever really we just wanted to meet the woman who had made him happy that's all. Were sorry about the way we went about it. And want you to know that not just for dad, but we want to get to know you. Maybe not treat you like a mum but more like an older sister?" Dick said trying to pull you away form your dark thoughts. Feeling bad that they might have just fucked up the best thing to happen to their dad. Your eyes twinkled as you looked at the hopefully

"You-you really mean that?" they nodded you smiled wide at them wiping your eyes.

"Yeah then that way you can let loose a little you know act your age a bit?" he added laughing you scoffed clearing the last tears that had gathered away with a napkin handed to you from Damien.

"As if I remember how to do that, thank you both of you I was terrified of meeting you both , if you ever have a problem with me please come and talk to me about it"

"If they ever have a problem with you they can fuck off and take it with them" Damien growled kicking the table leg, knocking it with a force the boy should not posses thoroughly pissed off at his oldest brothers a cold shiver ran down your spin as you saw the terrifying glare he had on his face. If looks could kill... well your rather not tempt fate as in that moment Damien looked like he was defiantly considering it. you didnt notice the three wayne boys sharing a look holding their breath waiting for him to continue. if you only knew.

"Damien enough, you were worse when i met you and you know it" he snapped out of what ever was going on in his head smirking at you

"I was wasnt I?"

the others relaxed and you were all caught of guard as a presence in the corner made them selves known.

"See Master Wayne I told you if you left them to it they d all sort it out." Alferd stated standing up form the table in the front corner before chiding you.

"Miss y/n you really should pay more attention you left the door wide open after you let the boys in." You all gaped at the men Dick and Jason froze feeling Bruce's piercing gaze on their backs. Looking like a couple of boys who'd been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"yes Alfred I suppose your right but I do remember telling them to leave her alone until Monday so I could explain exactly how we met." he said disaproval echoing through his words. you stood up huffing.

"Bruce stop it.. they were just trying to look out for their family which I can appriciate.. leave them be it all sorted now and I didnt have to put on stupid heals for it"

"but i what if i wanted to see you in heels?"

"then you could have asked, anyway how the bloody hell did you to sneak in so quietly are you some sort of ninja or something? Jesus" you asked the group who laughed .if only you knew.

"Any way I don't know about you lot but I spend to much time in this bloody cafe as it is and would like to leave." You finished collecting the crumpled cake papers and cups leaving them in the kitchen before ditching your apron and turning everything off grabbing your bag and coat on the way out.

"What about the cleaning?" Jack asked you shrugged.

"That's Hugh's problem now, he can do some work for a change." you snickered ushering them all out arming the alarm and locking the door.

"He still fucking around?" jack asked you nodded

"Yep boneing his girlfriend is more important then doing his shift's"

"I can fully understand that" Bruce said smirking as the group groaned you rolled your eyes ignoring him

"The others got pissed off so he gets to be here bright and early opening tomorrow cos the rest of us are 'busy'" you chuckled. Bruce slid up beside you pulling you into him

"well you will be." he muttered kissing your lips you blushed as a chorus of ewws and gagging noises carried across the small crowd you stuck out your tongue at them.

"Oh will I now?"

"Yes a very important appointment with me that may run into the afternoon" he said seductivly running his hands across your waist pulling you closer you linked your hands behind his neck.

"Hmm I don't remember arranging that Mr Wayne I might have other plans"

"well I'm sure you could squeeze me in" Jason as grossed out as he was, couldn't help but laugh at that one even Tim snorted you blushed.

"And what makes you say that?" he pulled away slightly

"Because you love me" you froze in his arms shyly looking down he pulled you back up to face him.

"And I love you to" he pulled you towards him kissing you passionately taking your breath away you moaned as the boys created a big fuss.

"OH MY GOD STOP!" Jack cried covering his eyes as Bruce grabbed handfuls of your rear making you squeal and begin laughing.

"Come on Jack you were the one who set us up to have sex remember? take it like a man"

"NOO! SHUT UP EWW I DIDN'T NEED THAT IMAGE!!" you laugh loudly walking past them all ,wrapped up in Bruce's arms leading you towards the Rolls Royce that he had arrived in with Alfred.

"H-hey how are we getting home?"

"The way you came, you don't want to ride with us." Bruce called over his shoulder kissing your neck.

"Bruce not in the car"

"Why not?"

"THAT IS MY SISTER!" Dick laughed out loud watching his little brothers yell about 'being scar'd for life' and 'never getting in the Rolls Royce ever again' yes you were both going to fit right into this mad house. He ushered them all the other way to his car there wasn't enough room really but he'd make them fit.

"Who want to go get Chinese?" he asked distracting them still chuckling to him self. You had turned his dad into a teenager again.

[mr-and-mr-dameron]

Learning to love ALL of Star Wars

I’ve grown a lot the past few years, and with that I’ve came to appreciate a lot more things about what I love. I’ve went from bitter and spiteful about what I don't have to appreciating what I do have, and at the centre of that storm is Star Wars. A franchise I’ve only really been invested in the last year. 

The beginning

So I was always a “fan” of Star Wars, sure. I grew up with the prequels and I was excited when Disney was releasing their new movies. But the past year is where I really got invested and found a whole new love for the franchise. And strangely enough, it was through the simplicity of Lego.  You see, I started watching videos by Brickvault about Lego Star Wars minifigures, and something about seeing the toys I loved as a kid from a modern perspective took me right back to wooshing my Jedi starfighter around my room. From there, I started moving away from Lego and dipped my toe in theories, lore videos and eventually discussion and review videos, the turning point being Cosmonaught Variety Hour.  Now, I have some opinions on the guy now, but Cosmonaught was perfect for me at the time. He was opinionated, entertaining, but most importantly knew his shit, and I liked that. His videos on Star Wars are pretty good, and really helped form my opinions back then... In a bad way... Now I’ll make this clear, this is NOT on Cosmonaught, it was just how impressionable I was as a person back then. I’m just saying how his video affected me on a personal level.  Up to this point I didn’t really understand the hate for the prequels besides the fact they were “bad movies” and “people don’t like them”. Cosmonaughts video on the prequels gave me those reasons, and I finally felt like I got the distaste for those films. However, like they say... A little knowledge can be dangerous, and boy was I about to learn that lesson the hard way... 

The fall

So here I am, knower of all things, the CORRECT things... I’ve watched my fair share of videos from a handful of sources, I know my shit. I’m making my opinions known, and I’ve become that friend.  But whats this! A dissenting opinion!? My boyfriend actually likes the prequels more than the Original Trilogy!? SACRALAGE!! I must prove him wrong! And prove him wrong I...! Did not... In fact, something rather bizarre happened... He convinced me.  I was stubborn at first, but I’ll admit, my wall got broken down at long last. He (bless his soul for dealing with me) managed to get through to me exactly what it was he loved about those films, and it wasn’t just the nostalgia. I had always seen the politics of the Galaxy like most other people did, some boring preachy nonsense that had no place in Star Wars, but I came around to it.  Granted with a little help from the Clone Wars I managed to piece together just what it was there was to like about these films... I wont say they’re perfect, far from it. But internally they have so much more going on compared to the Original Trilogy. The Era has some of the most fun and expandable concepts and ideas in all of Star Wars, and while it may not be as iconic, the visual artstyle of it all is still its own recognizable brand of Star Wars.  And almost like magic (or my phone spying on me) youtube started recommending videos that disagreed with Cosmonaught, and I got my first taste of how his video wasn’t as sound as I thought. Now as a side note: I still like Cosmonaught. He’s a funny guy who like I said knows his shit, but he obviously isnt the be all end all right and wrong which I hadn’t quite learned. I can enjoy his content while disagreeing with it, and I think thats just fine. I find myself disagreeing with a lot of creators I watch now and he’s just joined them.  But hang on, we’re missing something here... A certain... Mouse? Perhaps?

The dark times... The Disney Empire... 

So hop back to modern day for a sec, this timeline pretty much lines up with the end of the Disney movies right? So how do I feel about those? Well... When the first three came out, I liked them. Like everyone else I was loving new Star Wars. As a young art student, I loved Rogue One and TLJ for their stunning visuals, deeper themes and their attempt at something new and fresh. I loved the throne room fight scene, the light speed ram and how Rogue One had such a bitter sweet ending.  But ho ho no one else felt that way! And whether it be peer pressure or my love of dumpster fires my opinions changed like that. I laughed at the Rose Tico and Snoke memes, I hated the Canto Bight subplot and poor Luke being butchered on screen like that, and then there's Rey...  Solo came and passed. I refused to go see it, as I did with TROS which came out around the time I was getting back into Lego, and along with the prequels I was watching video essay upon video essay about why the sequels sucked and how to rewrite them. Some of them coming from a positive place, others... Not so much..  And so my hatred for them grew as I got back into the franchise and came to appreciate the originals for what they done great, and loathing the new films for lacking that same spark. And unlike the prequels, I didn’t really get enough pushback to change my mind. But what I did get was the full brunt of spite and hate the fans had for these new films, and honestly? It was depressing. 

Hate leads to suffering. 

I finally reached my rock bottom. I genuinely reached a point where I debated giving up Star Wars for the sheer amount of negative feelings I had towards the state of the franchise (which might I add is valid if you ever end up feeling that way about something you’re meant to be enjoying). 

I struggled to get past how Disney “ruined” Star Wars, and clearly nothing was going to change. 40 Years of history had been wiped out and the new timeline was a contorted mess, and the amount of discourse and disagreements in the franchise honestly did not help at all. 

Nothing was simple, everything had a catch. You like how Kylo was irredeemable in TLJ? Well he’s redeemed in TROS. TFA is a fun film but it sets up a lot of the things people hated about the sequels so you cant even just head canon that the other two never happened. And then...

Saved by Lego

There was Lego, making the best of a bad situation. It didnt care if you didn’t like that Palpatine was back (somehow), it didn’t care about the clunky prequel dialog, and it didn’t care about the thousands of retcons from the entierety of the franchises existence. 

Whether by contractual force or not: It was pure, distilled Star Wars. 

I loved how a set with Rey could stand beside a set with OT Luke and thats just how it was. It put into context that this was reality, and I could either be bitter about what could have been or accept what was, which wasn’t easy and I’m still not really over it. But I reached a place where I could accept the fun in all of Star Wars, that I liked how some of these characters looked, that these characters all existed in one Galaxy, and it was nice. 

And it led me straight back into... 

Learning to love Star Wars

One of the most important lessons I learned in the past year was trust your gut. Sure, hear out other peoples take on something, and if it changes your opinion all the more power to you. But don’t fight the fact you felt something in that initial reaction. I liked the prequels as a kid, so why don’t I as an adult? Is it because i outgrew them and see them for the disasters they are? Or is it because a someone who watched them as a fully grown adult that grew up with the OT was underwhelmed? 

And to that extent... I rewatched TFA and TLJ with an open mind and an open heart. The result? 

Im indifferent towards TFA. It has fun character moments and has a decent adventure, for what it is its good. But I actually found myself enjoying TLJ after all these years of hating on it. I liked their take on Luke, I liked the mutiny subplot, it didnt push the story forward leaps and bounds but it was a more methodical take on the franchise and for the I liked it. It wasn’t perfect, its biggest flaw is how bleak it can feel and its lack of doing anything interesting with its setting, but it does do a fair amount of decent things and I’ve come to appreciate it for that. 

I’m planning to watch TROS at long last soon, so maybe I’ll update it here. But what I will say is that I hope Lucasfilm don’t give up on the sequel era and characters quite yet. There is still a lot to love here as much as you may not like it, and I hope that they can explore more interesting meaningful themes and narratives in external media that they couldn’t in mainline films cough cough Stormpilot cough cough...

I know not everyone will agree with how I feel now, heck a lot of my problems I had still stand, but I’m at peace with it all now. I just want to sit back and enjoy this franchise for what it is. While I might not forgive Disney for its severe mishandling of... everything (a rant for another time) I’m content just not them supporting to the best of ability.

Star Wars is in such a unique position where each generation has a different stance and appreciation for different parts within the franchise. The prequels were hated until its fans grew up and started defending it, The Clone Wars was hated until its fans grew up and started defending it, and the sequels ended last year, their fans haven’t quite got their voice yet. But I’m interested to hear what they have to say. 

[i-am-ironic]

Daminette arranged mariage au part 7

**************************

Damian arrived right on time as usual, to pick Marinette up for dinner. In the car they went over the plan one last time.

"So the plan right now is just to tell your brothers that we are dating until the papers go through confirming you are Xander's father, right?" Marinette said watching the city fly by.

"It shouldn't take long." Damien replied, "Rich families tend to get things done faster then anyone else. Everything should be in order before the end of dinner."

"But what about when they start asking questions?"

"We avoid the questions until the paperwork goes through, then we can tell them the whole story." He Paused thinking back. "When I got back I didn't talk about what happened. I didn't tell anyone so they should be interested enough in the story to leave their questions till the end."

"This might not go well dames," Marinette started Fidgeting with her bracelet, "what if they don't like me? Or they think I'm helping your mother? Or what if-"

"No, mari." He said, his voice bringing her away from her anxious thoughts, "it will be fine. i promise. they will love you and once we explain, everything will be fine. We are here are you ready?"

She nodded and stepped out of the car. The manor was even more extravagant then she had imagined. She was going to need to come back to sckech just the doorway not to mention the rest of the house. Thinking about the architecture helped to calm her nerves.

"Here we go" she said stepping up to the door. It opened before dhe even had the chance to knock. Behind the door was an elderly man in a suite.

"Hello Ms my name is Alfred, I am the Wayne's butler and your name is?"

"Just call me marinette.”

“I must insist it wouldn't be proper to call you anything but your last name.” Alfred said.

“Just marinette for now but you will probably know my last name by the end of the night.” he looked at her curiously, why didn’t she want him to know her name yet?

“Very well ms marinette,” he said before turning to damian, “master damian your family is waiting for you in The sitting room.”

the two of them walked into the room and marinette was expecting a lot of things, but not this. damian just looked so done with his family. 

“Ahem.”he said drawing attention to himself.  “Marinette these are my brothers Dick is the one hanging from the chandelier” she waved at the familiar man. “Tim is the one drinking straight from the pot of coffee and Jason is the one throwing knifes at Dick. Oh and cass is the only normal one sitting on the couch.”

“Hey!” the boys all yelled in unison.

“Its a pleasure to see you again marinette.” bruse said before the boys could start arguing “I presume that our other guest will be here after dinner?”

“That is correct Mr Wayne.”

“Its Bruce as I have told you.”

marinette rooled her eyes smiling. She wasn't going to call him Bruce

“Hold on what other guest?” Jason said confused.

“Dinner is served.” alfrid said from the doorway as he lead the group out of the room.

“Damian wait!” Dick said reaching out for his little brother. Damian turned glancing at marinette who nodded.

“What do you want Grayson?” he siad eager to get back to marinette. 

“I don't think you should be seeing marinette you know how dangerous our 'job' is and-”

“She can take care of herself” he cut his brother off turning to follow were the rest of the group had gone. 

Dick grabbed Damian’s arm makeing him stay this was importent.“I'm sure she can but she has a 2 year old son who can't take care of himself and I don't think-”

“Richard.” that got his attention damian never called anyone by their first name.

“Yes?”

“Xander is my son.” that took a moment to Process before-

“WHAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE IS YOUR SON!”

without answering Damian walked out of the room. Dick folowed him into the dining room, where evryone looked at the two.

“Dick whats wrong? we heard yelling and you look like you saw a ghost.” Cass said conserned. 

“Its nothing,” Damian replied sharing a meningful look with marinette. “I'm sure Grayson is fine. so marinette do I need to take any of my brothers to the garden”

evryone looked shocked at the implicashons but marinette just giggled.

“No they have all been wonderful. besids you know i can handle your brothers.”she smiled. 

“Listen, marinette, if damian kidnapped you blink twice.” jason said in a sereous tone.

she gigaled again, “He didn't kidnap me besides we both know I can beat damian in a fight.”

“take that back! i have beaten you plenty of times before.” this made the boys and cass very intrested, if damian was defending himself he must have actualy tried to beat her, and falled.

“Dames I beat you 68% of the time.” interesting. 

“so you admit i have beaten you before!” he said triumfently.

“Yeah when I let you win.” damians mouth fell open in legitament showk. he looked over at his father, who nodded, before making a statment that would change this family forever.

“Marinette Anne dupan-chang al Ghul Wayne you take that back right this minute!”

the reactions were very mixed. Dick was shocked. not only did his baby brother have a child but it apered that he was marred. Jason didnt know what to think. he had begun to coneckt the dots, marinette had foud the father of her chiled, she then showed up with his brother and she had the same last name as him. $#*! Tim alerdy knew about all this from his reserch and cass decided to wait for an explanation.

“No.” marinette said scrunching up her noes playfully. "I refuse to take it back."

there was silence for a moment before Bruce spoke.

“Maybe we should continue this discussion in the sitting room”

“So would you like to explain why marinette has the same last name as you?” cass said once they reached the other room. 

“Not really but-”

“dames be nice, we knew we were going to explain when we came here tonight. I'll text luka.” 

.”Who's Luka?” Tim said, he hadn't read anythig about a ‘Luka’.

“Its a long story so let's start from the beginning,” marinette started.

“Three and a half years ago I was walking back to my family's house after hanging out at a friend's house. Before I got home I saw a man who needed help, so I went over to help. him i cant remember what he was doing but when I got there I felt a prick in the back of my neck. I pulled the dart out before I hit the ground. The next thing I knew I was in a room laying on a coute. the door was locked and I could hear yelling from someone else in the building. I could tell it was a man but I couldn't make out what he was saying. it wasn't in french I later found out he was speaking Arabic. After the yelling stopped i heard the door unlock and got ready to run but when the door opened a woman was standing there with two big men behind her. She walked in and because of the two men I couldn't run. She started speaking to me in french she said 'my name it Talia. I need you to put on this ceremonial dress.' To which I replied as any sane person would that I wasn't going to put on the dress and they needed to take me back home. She asked 'did you hear that man yelling a moment ago?' 'Yes?' I said though I wasn't sure what that had to do with anything. 'if you don't put it on and do what I say I will kill him.' So I put on the dress. They tied my hands behind my back and blindfolded me before leading me out of the cell I was in. When they took the blindfold off I was kneeling at an alter. Talia began speaking in french so I could understand. She was saying things about the strongest bond known to man, and a queen for the future king. I didn't understand what she meant until I turned to see a boy my age bound and kneeling next to me. Thats when it hit me we were getting married. She made us drink something from a chalice before we were ushered into a different room. We were both untied and left alone. the door locked behind us. The only thing in the room was a bed. The boy introduced himself as damian and said that he wasn't sure why his mother made us get married but that he was going to get some answers. He looked pretty cute when he said that.”

Damian blushed at her compliment.  

“Anyway Talia's explanation was that damian was 16 and for the league that meant he was a man and had to get married. And I had the great honor to be the one he married. I, was pissed. She said that as such a powerful magic user i was worthy to marry the future king of the league of assassins. I was even more pissed. She had the audacity to say that getting married, AT 16, to someone you had never met was a good thing. That little-”

“Alright mari I'll take over.” Damian said resting a hand on her sholder. “Anyway she said that after a year of mari training with the league we could go back to our normal lifes until we turned 18, at which point if we didn't at least move in together they would kill one of us. best mom ever. After that we were left alone to talk. Every day we trained and talked and worked hard. Once a month they would move us to a different compound and give us a huge array of blood tests. We became good friends. it was us against everyone else. Since we were already married we decided to give this whole romantic thing a try. But after six months I was sent to meeting with Talia she said I was going home and knocked me out sending me back to you. I searched and searched but I couldn't find any sign of marinette. so I had to asume Talia killed her. I couldn't think about France without thinking about her so I blocked all news from France. I didn't say anything to anyone for a month. And evrey year for one day I couldn’t speak, the anniversary of the last day I saw her alive.”

“I wasn't dead incase you were wondering.” marinette said picking up where damian left off,” I was sent to the med bay. No one would tell me what was happening or were damian was until Talia came in and said damian had fulfilled his usefulness. she exsplaned The only reason i was there was because damian had spent to much time with his father and had gone soft. The league needed a new heir to the throne. They picked me to be the mother of that heir. I was stuck there for months. I knew they weren't going to let me go. After the baby was born they were going to kill me. One day something big happened, I don't know what but it was big enough no one was watching me. I escaped. I hiched rides to France and snuck across borders. When I finally got back i saw a doctor as soon as I could. I didn't know if the baby was ok. He was born when I was 17.” she turned to the door where a young man stood holdng a toddler who scrambled down and ran over to his parints. “Everyone I would like you to meet Xander Thomas dupan-chang al Ghul Wayne.”

“Damian you have a son.” cass said wide eyed.

“I'm aware” damian said handing the boy his phone with a game already opened up. 

“Xander is my nephew??????” Dick said staring at the boy like he had grown a secend head.

“Yes.” marinette said simply.” It took a year to defeat Paris' villain. After that I moved here to find damian and tell him about Xander.”

“Dang. So you know about Robin then?”

“Yep”

“Why didn't you say anything??? I've known you for over a year and you said nothing????” the betrayed jason said.

“I didn't want to explain anything until I could tell damian. i thought He should be the first to know about his son.”

“We have a break in at gatham museum.” alfered said over the intorcom

“We are not done with this conversation.” Bruce said. 

“Suite up!” called Tim.

“Marinette do you want to come?”

she smiled at her husband “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

************

I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter I've ever written yay me. Pro tip if you see a centipede in your house DON'T TUCH IT it can and will sting you and it will hurt, my little brother just got stung by one. Anyway im glad so many of you like this story thanks for all the love! If you want to be tagged please let me know you can ether message me or reply to this. And if anyone can explain how to link things the pretty way with just "here" underlined that would be great. if you asked to be tagged and you weren't then ask again and ill put you on the list.

@thestressmademedoit

@abrx2002

@depressedrainbowcake

@myazael

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@bisha43rbs

@ur-average-reader

@crystalangelluna

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@thenillabean

[uncloseted]

i related to effy an unhealthy amount when i was only 13 when i first watched it, but at the time i wasnt doing drugs, homewrecking, doing anything that young lol. however i was extremely mentally ill but undiagnosed, and so confused but i found solace in effys character because of how similar i felt to her. flashforward to being 20 now and im a nic addict/borderline drug and alcohol addict that forgets to take my prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. i cant tell you how many events of effys life have mirrored mine now 7 years later, both the pretty but mostly the ugly. it all feels like a joke to me, and the thing is of course it wasnt effy the fictional character that did this to me, it was the fact that i was genetically and epically set up to do this to me for as long as i existed and i saw myself in her too young. everyone ive ever met and started to befriend has fallen in love with me, has found me beautiful, and then seen my flaws and hated me even if they didnt tell me to my face. ive been a horrible friend and partner and im flighty and unreliable and destructive. i never saw effy, or a person like effy, find a happy ending and im afraid even when im at my manic highs i will never find a lasting happiness and will always accidentally self sabotage until i die. what im trying to ask is, how can i save me? i know its dumb to ask a random tumblr user but ive been following this blog since i was 13-14 and since you know effy through and through, you might know a little about me. its a long shot. (i’d also like to say this isnt a cry for help and im safe/not actively suicidal so i dont want you to feel like theres any pressure like that, but i did use this ask box as a free therapy session.)

I'm a bit biased, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a random Tumblr user at all. I'm happy to be a free therapy session when you need one, and I'm really touched that you've trusted me with your thoughts and feelings for so long. Hopefully I've been some help over the years 😆

Coping with mental illness can be really, really hard, but the good news is that with the right tools and support system, you can absolutely recover. It sounds like you already have a psychiatrist in your life, which is a great start. If you've having trouble remembering to take your medication, it might help to set calendar reminders on your phone, set up text prompts to remind you to take your pills, to link taking your pills with something else you do every day (like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast), or to reward yourself for taking your medication (for example, putting a piece of candy in your pill box that you can eat after taking your pill).

If you don't have one already, a therapist might also be a good idea. It can take a while to find the right therapist for you, so schedule a few appointments and see which therapist you "click" with. A therapist can help you work through any reluctance you might have towards taking you medications, as well as helping you come up with day to day strategies that help you achieve your goals and helping you work through the beliefs that you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back.

Moving on to talking about addiction for a bit. I strongly believe that addiction doesn't come from some type of inherent lack of willpower or moral failing, or even really the drug itself. It's the need to escape reality. And that's actually supported by scientific literature; most famously, the Rat Park experiment by Bruce K Alexander. Practically, we've seen that same thing in the aftermath of Portugal's decision to decriminalize all drugs. They took the money they were using to keep drug users in prison, and instead invested that money into reconnecting people who struggle with addiction to society. Their goal was to make sure that every person who struggles with addiction has a reason to get up in the morning and has a support system within the wider society. And it actually worked- injection drug use is down 50%, overdoses and HIV infections have massively decreased, and rates of addiction decreased as well. It's much easier to quit when you have something motivating you to keep going.

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess what I'm trying to get at is in order to recover from addiction, I think first people need to understand what the reality is that they're trying to escape. What can be done about those issues? Who's in your corner trying to support you, even if they're not doing the best job at it? Where else can you get the social support you might need? What are you passionate about? What would make it feel worth it to get up in the morning? I think instead of focusing on the drugs, or the alcohol, or the cigarettes, maybe we should focus on solving the root problems that make those attractive options. That's one of the reasons a therapist is a really good idea; they can help you figure out what those root problems are, and provide resources and tools to help you fix those problems.

In terms of practical, do it yourself advice for dealing with addiction, there are a couple things you might try. I did a whole post on evidence-based ways to set goals and follow through on them here, so I won't rehash it in this post, but basically:

Try to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. For you, this might be something like "My goal is to have only one drink a day (measurable and achievable) for week (time bound) so that I can be more reliable for my friends (relevant)".

Instead of trying to quit something, replace it with something else. For example, "when I feel like smoking, I'm going to do ten minutes of learning Korean instead". Learning something new is easier and more exciting, and so new habits are easier to maintain that breaking old ones. Find a new hobby that you've always wanted to do or that's exciting to you, and try to focus your energies on that to distract yourself.

Identify any obstacles (such as environmental triggers) that you might run into, and develop contingency plans for working around them. This might be something like, "when I drink coffee in the morning, I want to smoke, so I'm going to switch to tea instead." If you can, get rid of all environmental triggers that might remind you of your addiction or trigger a craving.

Get someone else involved. Tell a friend about your goal and have them check up on you. Your fear of disappointing them will help you stay on track.

Put money on the line. Give money to a friend with the understanding that you'll get it back at a set date if you've achieved the goal you set. Tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause you really hate.

Write down the reasons you want to quit, and put them somewhere you know you'll see them. Whenever you want to engage in an addiction behavior, read through that list first.

For bonus points, add to that list your contingency plan for when you want to engage in an addiction behavior. These may include ways to redirect your attention or distract yourself until the craving passes.

76% of people who wrote down their goals, actions and provided weekly progress to a friend successfully achieved their goals.

You might also try an addiction recovery app, such as these, or doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worksheets on your own if you can't access a therapist right now.

There are also some things you can try in order to improve your mood. As much as I hate that this is true, consistent exercise has a huge impact on mood. If you can, try taking a 20 minute walk outside, 3 times a week. Other (boring) things, like making sure you're getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night and eating regularly, can also make a big difference in mood. Some of you might know that I'm a little bit obsessed with the free Coursera class "The Science of Well-Being". It has a lot of great evidence-based tips and tricks for how to build happiness, and I highly recommend it if you're trying to live a happier life. These include things like journaling, meditating, noting things that you're grateful for, helping other people, and having regular social interactions.

Finally, a few philosophical thoughts. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is dukkha. Basically, this is the idea that suffering is an innate characteristic of existence in our world. When I was younger, I never liked this concept, but I think now I kind of get it. It's impossible to be happy 100% of the time, and that shouldn't be our goal. Suffering is the comparison by which our lives gain meaning. But we can do our best to minimize our suffering and the suffering of others, and ride the wave of suffering when it does come. And each time we ride that wave, we can learn techniques to manage it a little bit better, and to make it easier the next time. We will sometimes sabotage ourselves out of fear, but we can learn how to do it less frequently and for the consequences to be less dire. We can learn how to forgive ourselves for our flaws and what we've done in the past, and learn from those mistakes so we don't do them again in the future. It's also okay to backslide, to struggle even after you've made progress. You're never back where you started, because you've always learned more and experienced more.

I know I've thrown kind of a lot at you in this post, and I don't expect you to try all of it or for all of it to work, but hopefully something in there is helpful to you. You can get through this. You can save yourself, but please, also remember to let others help save you. You don't need to do this on your own. And just like I have been since you were 13, I'm always here to give a free therapy session and to lend my support ❤️❤️❤️

[captain-jinguji]

Hai again! Could I request a yandere alphabet for Tokiya?

Boi i had way too much fun with this one 👀

TOKIYA ICHINOSE YANDERE ALPHABET

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

His way of showing love is by forcing his darling to be around him at all times. Whether that be at concerts, practices, gardening, taking a trip to the moon. His darling has to be there. 

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Will and has killed people. Don't try him. His flip is bigger than Cecil's and he's not known to be merciful at all. But if someone accuses him of something? They got no proof. 

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Mocking is an understatement. He cries with them, makes fun of them, and calls them out. Why are you crying? Do you want to be punished? He gets quite sadistic. 

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Anything lol. He would do anything against his darlings wishes, especially if it means that they are bound to him. So killing people, hunting things (the low-key family business IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW) both sexually and not, he feels no mercy. 

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He shows them enough for them to believe that he "loves" them. And he does, to a certain extent, at least feel some type of attraction otherwise they wouldnt be his darling in the first place. 

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He wouldn't take it lightly. They would need to be disciplined and put back in place. Very much a "master-slave" type of scenario. His darling needs to be obedient or his darling might experience some losses. 

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

At first it truly was a game and he almost begged his darling to escape so he can punish them, but he quickly realized how its much more than that and how he hates the thought of them attempting such bothersome things. 

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Tokiya was *this* close to cutting off their legs because they have attempted to run away one too many times. In the end, his darling had a broken foot and was bedbound for a week or so. Which he didn't mind, they couldn't fight back that way. 

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He doesnt have a clear plan for the future, surprisingly. All he knows is that he wants them in it and he will keep them in it by any means necessary. 

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He does get jealous but he actually copes with it quite well, ESPECIALLY once his darling is starting to crack; he knows they wont leave him in fear of being punished.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

It depends on. Most times hes sweet, caring, almost relaxed, but sometimes he's wild, irrational, and temperamental. His darling just has to hope that neither they nor anyone else has done anything wrong, and that's a tough one. 

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Hes naturally very attractive and his mysterious aura tends to pull people in fairly easily. His darling was most likely attracted from what they saw on the outside and decided to hunt after him. Which resulted in him successfully catching them 

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

No. Tokiya has always been stoic, quiet, reserved, and maybe even a bit dangerous. Of course, no one else knows the extremes he takes, but his personality doesn't do a whole 180° ya know? 

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Torture, starvation, spanking, orgasm denial, you name it and he's probably done it. If it's something ~Simple~ he might opt for a spanking and some rough pounding, but if it's really bad, hes not a stranger to torture devices. 

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

All of them. They completely and utterly become depended on HIM, just like he wants it. If he could without raising any suspicion, he'd also get rid of their arms and legs. 

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He gets aggravated with them VERY easily. Unlike his outside persona, tokiya with his darling does NOT fool around. 

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

You cant escape him so thats off the table. If they die, whether it be from his own hands or naturally, he would kind of become emotionless, the pain so great that he'd numb out completely. 

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Lol no. He picked his darling like a perfect rose in a garden and he does not feel guilty about cutting them off from anyone else. 

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

The need to control, definitely. He has a lot of pride and the feeling of perfection follows him everywhere he goes. Everything has a rightful place, and that includes his darling. Beneath him.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

If it's not his fault, he actually hates seeing his darling upset and tries to cheer them up in any way possible. If it is his fault, he mocks and toys with their feelings until they either give up or get angry at him, so he can punish them. 

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Hes pretty classic yandere plus some torture ya know. 

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

He has no weakness. Hes alert about anyone and everything and knows everyones moves before they're even made. His darlings best shot at living a somewhat livable life is to follow his orders and just submit. 

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yes and has done it before. Not a stranger to using force. 

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

His darling is perfect in his eye; there's no flaw on them, and he tells them so. Body worship, especially during intimate times, and compliments everywhere are his thing. His darling is beautiful and the soft stroke he leaves on their cheek while they cry into his shoulder makes it sound almost believable. 

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As long as it takes him to win their heart. He needs their feelings for him to be real so it'll be easier to manipulate them.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

A perfect darling is a submissive darling, so yes. Unless they're naturally submissive, he very much uses force and manipulation to get them submissive and as perfect as possible. 

[authorofdanger]

Reason Of Survival Part 1

Genre:Angst

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, violence, kidnapping, and death.

Stray Kids Mafia AU

My breathing was ragged as I took another blow to my chest. It was another losing fight for me this week but what was the point in winning? Another day having the shit beaten out of me? To possibly having a full meal once a day and two smaller ones to try to motivate me more? Some clean water? A fucking shower? I dont have a good reason to keep fighting so I kept taking all the hits from my opponent. It felt like hours before I was on the ground with a broken wrist, fractured nose, bloodied face, cracked ribs, and bruises littering my entire body. It's not the worst I have endured in a fight but it's not my best either.

I was tossed back into my cell like a piece of meat and I could barely let out a cry from the pain of the impact. My hair was pulled up harshly which forced me to look my boss in his eyes. "The fuck is wrong with you? You were my top fighter for years and now you cant even win a single fight! And for what? Some cell mate you had for only a few months? Pathetic." My cell mate, Libby, died last week after losing her tenth fight. Boss decided she was no longer useful and.... well you can guess from there. She was my only friend in this hell hole and the only person I wasn't forced to fight. We took care of eachother and became eachothers motivation to keep going and keep winning. At this rate I'm not too far from joining her.

"I'm warning you. Either start winning or I will find better use for you," he warned before releasing my sore scalp and slamming my cell door shut. I crawled over to my personal first aid kit and cleaned myself up the best I could without water or a mirror. My wrist was going to have to wait until my weekly body check from my cell section's nurse. Leaning against the cool concrete wall I listened to the fights continuing the floor above me so I could have an idea of which cells would need to be cleared tonight.

*****

"Let me fucking go," a voice boomed down the hall which ripped my attention away from the fight. I glanced over through the bars and saw a boy being dragged this way by two guards. He looked young, possibly still a teen, but he was well built and looked to be a perfect candidate in the ring. His red hair was messy on top of his head and his clothes were ripped and bloody. He had to be new though because if he wasn't I'm sure I would have fought him by now. I pulled my legs to my chest to make myself small as the three of them stopped in front of my cell and the boy was tossed inside with me and locked in. "I swear to God your going to regret that when my team gets here," he yelled but the guards only laughed before leaving the hall.

I kept silent as I watched him curiously. Nobody in their right mind speaks to the guards like that unless you are a top fighter. A boy like him could get killed here and the boss wouldn't even bat an eye. He ran his hand through his hair before turning around and jumping at the sight of me. I relaxed my legs a bit when I saw all of the violence in his eyes be replaced with concern. "Are you okay," he asked. I let out a small painful laugh. "You're kidding right?" His eyes scanned around my body and stopped when it hit my wrist. "Its not nice to stare you know," I scoffed before shutting my eyes and leaning my head back, "you a new fighter or something?"

"Prisoner. I was captured while on a mission with my team." Prisoner? We dont have prisoners. We have fighters, sex workers, and the guards but not prisoners. "So a fighter? You look too innocent to be a guard and the boss doesn't typically want a baby faced male sex worker." My eyes shot back open in fear as I felt a hand gently grab my wrist but I didnt pull away. "I can wrap this. It might help." Without an answer he had a hold of my first aid kit and made a good makeshift cast. The entire time I kept my eyes on his face which held a sense of focus and care that kept me calm most of the time of contact. "You know it's not nice to stare," he mocked while finishing up. I rolled my eyes but chose to ignore his comment.

"What's your name?" "Y/N. Yours," I asked as he put up the kit. "Jeongin. How long have you been here?" To be honest I'm not too sure. One day I just woke up in this cell with no recollection of my past and I've been here ever since. "Years," was the easiest answer I could give him. I could see his shoulders tense up a bit but his face remained calm and held little emotion. It's odd seeing a newbie so relaxed after being brought in. Normally they would be screaming, fighting, and finding any way to escape. Jeongin on the other hand seems to accept his fate or maybe he has a plan that is bound to fail, either way it's too hard for me to read him quite yet.

"How old are you? I'm seventeen," he asked. He was probably trying to relax any fears I have of him and truth be told it was working but seventeen? And he was talking about a team and he is holding himself together? Something isnt quite right about him but how can I judge in a place like this. "I dont really know anymore. The boss has a file on me somewhere but I had a serious head injury a while back and all I remember is my name and a few scattered memories here and there. It's all a bit of a blur. Hey you said something about a team right?" His eyes shined at the question. Whoever this team is he must hold a good amount of fondness to them. "They're like brothers to me. There are nine of us in total and we run a pretty well known mafia group if I do say so myself. It's a tough job but it gives us all the thrill we have craved since birth. I'm their hacker, I can crack any passcode and hack any electronic device in minutes. Been doing it since I was about fifteen." His hopeful look dimmed as he trailed into a deep thought.

"I wonder if they know where I am." Against my better judgement I reached my hand out for him and led him to sit beside me and laid his head on my shoulder. I dont quite understand what he is feeling right now but I have a good idea. "I wont let anything happen to you Jeongin. Your brothers are coming and they will get you out of here, until then I promise I will keep you alive." Now the question was how was I going to do that? How was I going to protect another person when I can barely protect myself?

*****

The next morning we were woken up by the sounds of sobs and screaming, the usual sounds the morning after fighting matches. Today is the day where cellmates discover that their best friends, lovers, and family members are gone. Today is also the day where if we have any weak links we either move them to the sex worker section or they get killed off. It's always hard to hear no matter how long you have been here and I feel that these sounds will haunt me until the day I die. "What's happening," Jeongin whispered as I watched people being ripped from their cells and new people being added. "They're cleaning out cells. Removing weak links, adding new people, and moving people around. Dont think to much about it." He only nodded his head before taking his body weight off of me and looked around. He mentioned before that he was in the mafia, shouldn't this not bother him at all? "There's kids here too?" Does he expect the boss to have morals? If they can be of any use he will keep them. "Some were born here and some were taken. Again dont think to much into this stuff. It only adds to the depression." He turned his head and looked at me with an unreadable glare. "I'm going to get you out of here," he said more to himself but I only gave him a small smile before fear rose in my chest. I quickly got up and pushed him behind me as the boss opened my cell and slightly chuckled at my protectiveness.

"Well looks who is finally up and moving again," he said darkly while pulling a remote out of his suit pants pocket. I prepared myself for the electric shocks that were about to hit me through my shock collar but refused to stand down, he is testing me I know it. "So I see you have gotten to know our new little addition. I figured he would bring something out in you." I ticked my eyebrow up at him and listened carefully at every single word he was saying and being prepared for any questions he may ask. "I was thinking of adding him to this unit but maybe he would be better as-" "You wont take him," I interrupted boldly, "you want me to win then fine but you cant have him." I know his games and he has done things similar before. He wants his best fighter to win him big bucks in the ring and this is a sick way of doing it. A grin found it's way on his lips as he pressed the button on the remote, nearly bringing me to my knees if Jeongin didnt grab me by the waist to hold me up.

"How about we make a little deal then pet," he laughed before turning off the collar, "as long as you keep winning in the ring he doesnt have to even lift a finger. You continue your little stunt and your losing streak then I trade you two out. Maybe he can do better then you." Jeongin's grip on me tightened and he whispered in my ear "I can handle this. Dont do it." Closing my eyes and shaking my head I felt like there wasn't much of a choice. If I can help it I dont want anyone else in that ring even if it means I have to work myself to death. "He wont be in the ring? Or a part of the sex group," I asked as bravely as I could. "No. You will take up any and all of his jobs I would have pinned him to do. His whole life will depend on your actions." Could I handle that? The extra fights, possibly be in the sex ring as well, any and everything he would have to go through plus my own schedule? "Deal."

*****

"You didnt have to do that," Jeongin sighed while cleaning the dried blood off my face and body since we got our cleaning bucket. "You dont want to be out there. I've been doing this long enough to know what to expect. You just have to trust me on this." I let in a sharp inhale as the soaked rag swiped over my nose which definitely was broken. He mumbled out a few apologies but continued on until most of the blood was off of me and in the bucket. "We should be getting showers tonight for the selections," I explained as he examined the bruises and other various injuries I had. "Selections?"

"Other bosses from other districts come and decide who they want to pin against their own fighters. They also discuss which prize they want if they win. Sometimes its money and sometimes it's the losing fighter. Most of the others here I had fought at one time or another and my boss claimed. I could be fighting about four fighters if I'm lucky in the next three days."

"You call that lucky?" "Lucky as in minimum. Usually on my own I get between two or three and now that I add on your count," I began but stopped myself. I dont need him feeling bad about something that isnt his fault. "You wont be fighting. Chan and the others will find us by then," he assured quietly after a guard passed our cell. I could only give him an assuring smile. How long will it be before he gives up hope? I've been here for years and after a few months I gave up on the thought of escape. Once you end up in a cell there is no leaving, you are no longer a human in a sense but like an animal. Nobody really cares about you as a person anymore and you might as well be erased from the outside world.

"I bet Seungmin has already tracked my location by now," he added "and Chan is probably calling either Sungjin or JB! Oh or Woojin could be calling Jungwoo! It would be a mess if all of NCT came you know," he continued. At some point I zoned out of what he was saying so I myself wouldn't get my hopes up. I thought back to Libby and how right now she would be playing with my hair or how she would be trying to learn fighting strategies from me. Maybe she would have punched Jeongin in the face by now because of his optimism levels, she never was one to see the glass half full.

"Are you even listening to me," he chuckled which pulled me back to the present. "Kinda. Hey Jeongin can we not talk about escaping right now? Maybe you can tell me more about your friends in general?" As if he understood what I was getting at he nodded his head and began to ramble on about all the adventures he has been on through the years. Though he may be a little too hopeful and cheerful he is the perfect amount of light for this dark situation, and in my mind I vow to never let anything happen to him.

Even if it kills me.

[mistersplitfoot-archive-blog]

ughhh no one is sending me reading requests so I have nothing to help me procrastinate finishing up this entry in my grimoire. 

[winchester-reload]

I accidentally drunk-posted this to ao3 last night, so I might as well post it here too since it’s episode-related. There’s a second half I’m not done with yet, but this bit stands on its own as a coda, or whatever.

Pairing: Dean/Cas

WC: 1400

tags: first, kiss, angst, episode 14x12 pre-coda

also on ao3

Cas came into the bunker like a thunderstorm, expression cloudy and eyes hot enough to start brush fires. He dropped the big book that’d been tucked close to his chest onto the library table in front of Dean, and it coughed dust as the water-warped pages accordioned together, fluffed up again. Kicked the old, thread-bound cover back, revealing the yellow vellum page; Possessionem, atque tutelam &, Vatican Ed. 1723, it said.

Dean uncurled from his book, hands slipping to the edge of the mahogany as he pulled in tight. Cas wasn’t supposed to be back yet. Last text Dean got said maybe Tuesday would see him in Kansas, and that meant Dean wasn’t supposed to have to deal with this. He should have already been gone.

Wonderful.

He cleared his throat. “Who’s your friend?” he asked, trying to keep it light.

“Oh, that?” Cas puffed, carelessly spilling into the chair opposite Dean. The airiness of his response was drowned out by the vinegar he had pickling his words. “It’s a book, Dean.”

“Well, shit, Cas. You don’t say—?”

“Yes. It’s a book that Jack and I managed to track to— and retrieve from—a catacomb in New York. Now, ask me why we went to all that trouble.”

Dean hesitated. Then, “Why?” because he was nothing if not a glutton for punishment.

“Well, because we heard it had some particularly potent protection sigils, which, might— ” He pecked an elbow onto the tabletop, twisted his hand in an overly-animated open shrug “—hypothetically—be beneficial to someone harboring an unwanted invader. Why? What did you do this last week?”

It was baited. Dean didn’t need the all caps, period-after-each-word, version of it to see that. He chewed his cheeks, slid his copy of Vonnegut away. Dog-eared pages flat against the table now until someone else bothered to pick it up. “Okay,” he said scratching his neck. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess you talked to Sam.”

“What would give you that impression?”

“Cas, it’s a ma’lik box—”

“Yes—” Cas said, mocking, “I’m familiar with them.”

It triggered that little muscle twitch at the back of Dean’s jaw. “Okay, here we go—” and Cas shot back out of his chair.

“Jack and I were out trying to find literally anything that might help you, and all the while you were out building some stupid, secret box to go bury yourself in— And you weren’t even going to tell me—? So, yes, Dean. Let’s “go”,” he spat, throwing the quotes. “Why are you so impossible?”

“Alright, back off—” Dean bristled. He wanted to keep it civil—fuck, he needed to. The last thing he wanted was to have to ruminate on a fight with Cas for the next forever-billion-years, but the asshole was a button-pusher. Always had been. “I get it, okay? You’re pissed. You wanna be pissed, be pissed, but it ain’t gonna change anything. Billie said what she said.”

Cas rounded on him surprisingly quick, leveled a look so dark, it practically bred its own shadows. “No,” he said, flat, “you’re right, of course, it doesn’t change anything. But do you know what does, Dean? The fact that you’re lying!”

A fingernail of shame suddenly surprised Dean, twisted into his chest. “No—” he stumbled. This was getting away from him quick. Too quick. He scoffed, smiled, tried to brush it away. “Uh, no. You’re wrong—”

“Uh, yes. I’m right—” Cas contested. “See, because if Billie’s answer was to bury you with Michael at the bottom of the Pacific, there would have been no death note to hand you— because, in that scenario, Dean, you’d never die! And maybe Sam doesn’t know that, but I do!” He plucked his chest, tie swinging as he leaned in. It dredged up all those old, angelic chills Dean had filed in the archives of his memory; the weight Cas carried with him like churning ozone when he was all keyed up. “So, why don’t you tell me what the book really said?” he suggested with a low growl. “What you’re actually running from.”

Dean swallowed, tried to hold Cas’ eye, failed. They were close enough now that Dean was all but boxed in his chair, and butterflies played his pulse in response, kicked his heart up into his throat. “Okay, you’re—” he started. Then, “But, that’s totally—” and he stopped, watched Cas’ balled fists turn white at the knuckles. Fuck. “Did you tell Sam?”

“No, but I will tell him. I’ll tell him right now.”

“Don’t—”

“Then what did it say?”

“It said I die old,” Dean muttered, and it was like prying nails from his ribs just to get it out. “ It said I die happy. Natural causes. No Michael. No monsters.”

Cas blinked, caught off guard. The anger in his face diffused then fused again into something so much more knotted up. “I don’t understand—”

“There’s nothing to understand because it doesn’t matter! All the rest of ‘em said I die bad, Cas. All of ‘em! Michael burnin’ me out while he destroys the world—!”

“How does ignoring this one spot of hope fix that?”

“That ain’t hope! I don’t know what to do with that— I don’t even know where to begin to try to make something like that happen! The box is what fixes it! The box, I know how to do!”

Cas’ fingers spread, hands coming up like he wanted to strangle Dean, but couldn’t bring himself to get close enough. “Did it ever occur to you—?” he said slowly. Eyes rolling closed before peeling open again. “—that, maybe, your first step in accomplishing a happy ending, is to stop running? To stop this— suicidal ideation? To just... love, and let people love you?”

Dean shook his head, Cas’ words pooling at the hinge of his jaw and making it hurt. “It wouldn’t matter,” he said, looking at the bookshelves, the corners. Anywhere but Cas.

“Why—?”

“Because no one's gonna love me—” Dean spilled. “Who’s gonna love me like this? An archangel stuffed up in my attic and the rest of me so fucking screwed to hell, I can’t even sleep on a good night!”

Cas balled hands into his own chest, shoulders high and body tight like they were both about to go over some invisible cliff if he didn’t stop the vehicle soon. “I love you!” he pleaded. “Sam loves you! Your family— You are not unloved, Dean!” He had tears in his eyes, but it was easier to ignore them.

Dean shut his eyes, heat washing him. The image of Cas dying on an old couch at the back of the barn flared fresh in his brain— I love you, I love all of you— He tried to swallow it, but it was too sour. Tried to rub it away with the heel of his hand, but it only spread, made speckles. He shook his head, instead, pulled his already loose collar looser. “No, I… Not that kinda love,” he said quietly.

Cas suddenly deflated, arms falling to his sides, weight shifting between his feet. He sunk to the floor at Dean’s knees, looked up, face raw and open and done. “Sam loves you,” he said again quietly. “Jack loves you. Your mother—”

“Cas—”

“—loves you…” He suddenly touched Dean’s knee, stretched up onto his own, wedged between Dean’s legs, quiet and hot, cheeks wet with tears as he pulled all that electric energy in. “But, I—” He grabbed Dean’s face, cradled it between his hands as Dean’s fingers clawed into the fabric at Cas’ sleeve— holding him there, holding him back, he wasn’t sure which. “I love you,” Cas whispered. Something in Dean cracked, split open. He let their foreheads brush. Their noses.

Let Cas kiss him, soft and slow.

Cas kissed like he’d imagined it a thousand times, mapped it. Studied it over and over and over again, until every jump of his lips timed with the thrum of Dean’s heartbeat. The curl of his fingers at Dean’s jaw.

Then it broke, quick as it started, but Cas and all his hasty energy didn’t move back. Neither did Dean. “I don’t know another way to say it,” Cas admitted to the small space between them. His voice finally wavered, broke. His hands uncurled, flat palms drying the tears Dean didn’t know he’d lost. “You have to tell me because I don’t know.”

Dean suddenly remembered to breathe and it came in sharp and unsure. It came in with the smell of Cas and a hit of his blue eyes close enough to taste. Dean swallowed the salt building in the back of his throat and dug his voice out of Cas’ rubble. “That was it,” he whispered back. “You just said it.”

And it seemed utterly ridiculous how everything suddenly felt so simple.

[spring-emerald]

all in a day’s work

Angel!Kuroo and Demon!Daichi featuring Human!Bokuto that won’t leave me alone.

Kuroo peeks from behind Bokuto and sees an elderly couple having trouble with their luggage. There are no police officers around to help, and the people walking were either too busy to notice them or too busy ignoring them. Kuroo huffs, before shaking his head.

“Well, looks like another good deed for you, Bo,” he says, tilting his head to look at Bokuto’s face, still staring at the struggling couple before him. “Go on.”

Bokuto blinks, snapping out of his quick, temporary daze and jogs over to the couple, offering his help. Kuroo watches on with a proud and satisfied smile, even whistled low when Bokuto effortlessly hefted one luggage on his shoulder, and hand carried the other, as him and the couple walk up the stairs of the overpass.

Kuroo follows behind them, hands inside the pockets of his white hoodie, listening and nodding at the praises the old lady is gushing about Bokuto, smiling at his friend’s modest gratefulness.

They reach the other side of the road in no time, Bokuto and Kuroo waving goodbye at the couple now sitting inside the cab that will take them to the train station.

“That felt good,” he comments, looking at Bokuto’s proud smile.

“And definitely deserves a treat,” a familiar voice from Bokuto’s other side speaks up, before Sawamura bends a little forward to get a good look at him. “Don’t you think?” he asks. His suggestion, while innocent sounding, definitely spells trouble especially when matched with that small curl of his lips.

“The kind lady already gave him candies, Sawamura. That’s a treat, on top of their gratefulness.”

Sawamura hums. “I guess,” he shrugs, stepping out from behind Bokuto. He straightens his gray vest then pushes the sleeves of his black dress shirt further up his arms. “But all that carrying must have made you hungry huh, Bokuto?” He blinks his wide, brown eyes up at the said guy.

Bokuto rubs his belly in response.

“Thought so,” Sawamura nods. “You know what sounds good right now?” He moves closer and whispers conspiratorially. “A bacon and four-cheese, double patty burger.”

“No, it does not-”

“With a side of large fries, slathered with ketchup-”

“You’re going to spoil your dinner, Bokuto. Not a good idea.”

“…And a tall glass of triple chocolate milkshake.”

Kuroo glares at Sawamura, who just smirked at him. Bokuto is already biting down on his lips, eyes a bit glazed from imagining the sinfully delicious meal.

“This is ridiculous,” Kuroo huffs, rounding on Bokuto. “Bokuto, it’s not yet your cheat day. If you hold back now, I promise we can have it during then.”

Just as Kuroo thinks he’s finally got Bokuto convinced to let the tempting meal go, Sawamura snorts. “What you did was basically a work-out, Bokuto. And besides, you can always run an extra lap.” He meets Kuroo’s eyes daringly, chin lifted in a challenge.

“Good things come to those who wait, buddy.”

“Why wait when the diner is just a few steps away from here,” Sawamura gestures to the general direction of the said diner, making Bokuto turn his head towards it. “And the walk back home would help burn some of that anyway.”

Kuroo grits his teeth and steps in front of Bokuto to try and cover the path. “Bokuto…” Kuroo protests, but it’s too late because Bokuto’s already got this determined look in his face and Sawamura steps up beside him, making a show of dusting his hands with a smug smile, nonverbally gloating at Kuroo for a job well done. Kuroo just knows that he’s lost this round.

“We were having a good day, Sawamura,” Kuroo glowers at him as Bokuto pass by him, brushing through his shoulder.

“And it’s bound to get better because we’re having a burger,” Sawamura says with a wink, following Bokuto to the diner.

-----

“Good night, buddy. I hope you have a nice dream.” Kuroo says, patting Bokuto’s form under the thick blanket before stretching up as he stands from the bed.

He takes a quick sweep of the room and notice that Sawamura isn’t making any indication to move from his spot, seated with his legs crossed on Bokuto’s swivel chair, chin propped on his hands on the study table and he’s silently staring at him.

Kuroo clears his throat when the staring got unnerving. “All in a day’s work huh, Sawamura?”

Sawamura only hums noncommittally.

Kuroo bites the inside of his left cheek. “You’re not leaving yet?” Sawamura doesn’t stay too long after Bokuto falls asleep, except only during times when something unusual happened to Bokuto and they discuss if it had been influenced by them or something else. They may have fundamentally different motives, but at the end of the day, Bokuto is their human and they both have to take care of him until it’s his time.

Sawamura lifts a shoulder in a small shrug. “I don’t feel like going back yet.”

Kuroo frowns lightly at him. “You’re not planning on giving him nightmares, are you?”

Sawamura rolls his eyes. “Kuroo, you know for a fact that I can’t give him nightmares any more than you can give him sweet dreams. That’s Matsukawa’s job.”

“Then why d’you want to stay?” While they should leave together ideally, there is no hard rule that prevents any of them from staying with their human alone, should they wish it. The necessary paperwork that had to be written in cases like those are a pain to write though, because both Heaven and Hell like to keep up with their records.

Sawamura doesn’t answer him, and Kuroo thinks he wouldn’t even get a proper response and was ready to leave it at that, but Sawamura stands up from the chair and slowly, languidly walks toward him, keeping eye contact.

Kuroo swallows at the glint in Sawamura’s eyes, but he can’t bring himself to look away or to even move back when Sawamura stops, standing too close.

“What if I tell you,” he says in a soft voice, “it’s because I want to stay longer with you?”

Kuroo’s unable to formulate a decent reply and instead lets out a squeak when Sawamura glides his hands up along his chest over the soft material of his white hoodie, snaking his arms around Kuroo’s neck.

“Will you stay with me?” Sawamura whispers, breath fanning across Kuroo’s lips, making it tingle, and he looks down at the deceptively innocent face that promises something sinful.

“Sawamura, we can’t.” Kuroo reaches behind, aiming to unwrap Sawamura’s arms around him, but gets caught off guard when Sawamura firmly presses his lips on his own. He doesn’t respond for a few seconds, but gives into the kiss eventually, closing his eyes whilst opening his mouth to welcome the wet, sensual slide of Sawamura’s tongue against his.

This is another one for the records, he’s sure. But at that moment, he can’t be bothered by the bureaucracy, not when Sawamura is moaning against him like this and his arms that initially intended to pull away, pulls Sawamura flush against him instead. They part for a few, but Sawamura pulls on some hair just above his nape then pushes Kuroo’s head down and it starts all over again.

A loud cough interrupts them and they both pull away quickly from each other, and both look in shock at one unamused Matsukawa.

“Matsukawa, I-” Kuroo begins to explain, but Matsukawa holds up a halting hand. Sawamura grumbles something about getting to the good part that Kuroo and Matsukawa ignored.

“If you’re going to do something like this, please do it elsewhere.” He tips his head to the direction of Bokuto’s bed where the human has been clearly affected by his guardians’ activity. The blanket’s been tossed haphazardly around him, and he’s panting heavily and his face is flushed.

“We…we did that?” Kuroo asks, nervously running a hand through his hair. “Did he dream of it?”

“No, he didn’t. But your human can still sense you, even when asleep.” He waves a hand over Bokuto and instantly, the human relaxes.

“You even gave him a dream.” Sawamura says, peering over to check on Bokuto.

“Gee, I wonder why,” Matsukawa says dryly. Sawamura pouts at him. “Anyway, no thanks for the free show.”

Before any of them can reply, Matsukawa disappears.

They spend the next few minutes standing in awkward silence, until Sawamura breaks it. “I guess I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

Kuroo glances at him hesitantly but nods. “Yeah. See you.” He stiffens when Sawamura moves into his space again. “I’ll ask Suga for suggestions, so we won’t be interrupted, so wear that jeans again, alright?”

He vanishes after giving Kuroo a wink and a quick peck on the cheek.

[jackandmarksavedme88]

The Magic of Love

"Anna!" Marvin called out "Kacey and Caleb are here!" Marvin walked to the door and opened it as his girlfriend Anna bounded down the steps. "Marvin!" Anna's sister Kacey exclaimed as she walked inside. She gave him a hug and then her sister. Her boyfriend Caleb shook Marvin's hand and they all sat on the couch. "Soooo are yall ready for tonight? I cant wait for the pictures im going to get out of this" Kacey said, a glint in her dark green eyes She had talked Anna, Marvin and Caleb into going to their city's cemetery after dark. She wanted to shoot some pictures, and, Marvin knew, see if she could catch something paranormal. Anna thought it was weird, but agreed to go because Marvin wanted to. Caleb tagged along because he was the jealous type...They all walked outside to Kaceys truck and climbed in, laughing and chatting as she took off. ******* "Oh come on An!" Kacey teased "You cant seriously go back to the truck already! We have been here thirty minutes tops!" "I dont care K! I am majorly creeped out and hearing creepy shit isnt helping!' Anna whined. "But i need Marvin for these shots!" Kacey said, annoyed at her sister. They were only 14 months apart and were at times best friends. Except for two years ago when Anna and Marvin began dating....... all the times she told Anna she wanted to make a move on Marvin, only for Anna to do it first..... But Marvin was happy and thats all that mattered to Kacey. She looked over at Caleb, who stood against a tree. "Babe. Do you want any pictures done?" He looked her way, brown eyes staring intently at her and then Marvin. "No. Not really.... If you want i could walk her back to the truck" "Are you sure babe? I just want to get a few more shots of him with the fire and stuff. The colors look amazing right now!" She and Caleb had been dating a year. Sometimes she got the feeling he didnt like Marvin, no matter how many times she told him there was nothing to worry about. He was just her best friend and sisters boyfriend. But hed softened in the last few months. He smiled and walked over and kissed her head "Yes darlin. Im sure. Ill take her back over there and sit with her. Maybe she will want to come back in a little bit" Kacey smiled at him. "Thank you so much!" She went to her tiotoes and kissed him again, then turned to Anna "Ill be done in just a bit. Promise" she hugged her sister 'then we will get out of here. Nothing is gonna hurt you" she teased. Marvin walked over "well duh. Id hurt it worse" he said as he kissed Anna's head. "We'll get ice cream after this babe, ok?" Anna smiled at him. "Ok hon. I love you" she kissed Marvin and then she and Caleb started for the truck. Kacey smiled at Marvin and he walked back over to the old gravestones. "So. Shall i pose like...this" he grinned cheekily and posed with his butt stuck out and a finger to his lips Kacey laughed out loud "oh yeah. That's it. This is the REAL magic" she raised her camera and snapped a picture before Marvin almost collapsed into giggles "Okay. Okay" Kacey said breathlessly "Lets actually finish this" Marvin grinned "good to see i can still make you laugh that way. I was afraid you had forgotten how' Kacey cocked an eyebrow at him "What do you mean?" Marvin looked at her, a serious expression on his face "i dont know. It just seems like since you got with Caleb and i got with Anna, we dont hang as much. We dont....i dont know" Kacey knew what he meant. She and Marvin had been attached at the hip before Anna. More often than not, youd find Kacey asleep on the Septic boys couch. Marvin had been through everything with Kacey. "Well. When youre dating my sister its a little off to just invite myself over like i used to" Kacey laughed. "We are just older" Marvin looked down "yeah. Just...dont forget me. Ok kid? Its not illegal for you to still be my best friend and at least text me" Kacey smiled "ok. Im sorry. I just didnt want Anna or Caleb getting the wrong idea..... How about in a couple of days when Anna works i will come over and we can have lunch and hang out until she gets off?" Marvin's smiled returned "Ok! Ive got a couple of new scary movies we can watch! She doesnt like them, and its no fun watching them alone" Kacey grinned "Deal...now let me get some shots of you" Marvin smiled and produced green flames in both hands "okay. Go ahead" *************** At the truck, Anna and Caleb were talking about life, and Kacey while listening to the radio "So, Marvin and her have always been close?" Cakeb asked "Oh yeah. They were attached at the hip! Shes close with the other guys too. But her and Marvin have that kind of friendship where they can have a whole conversation based of facial expressions." Anna laughed. "You dont ever....worry about how close they are?" Chase asked quietly Anna looked at him for a moment and then shook her head. "No. I mean, i trust that she wouldnt want to hurt me and he wouldnt either" "And if he was with someone else, wold you tell them to worry?" Anna thought on his question and answered slowly "Well....i dont know. I mean... Kacey and Marvin are hard to explain....." She sighed "To tell the truth. Yeah. If he was with anyone that wasnt me, id tell them to worry. Not that they would fall together out of spite.... I think it wouldve happened organically... If you and I hadnt come along" she laughed "When we were younger, like early 20s, the boys would call her their sister-in-law and our mom would call Marvin son-in-law..... The expression on their face when it was *me* that he started dating was priceless". Caleb was quiet for a long time and Anna patted his shoulder "You have nothing to worry about. Im not going anywhere and neither are you." "Yeah. I guess" Caleb grumbled.... Its just that.... He stopped suddenly. "What is that noise?" There was a crackling coming over the radio. Anna frowned and tried changing stations, but it just continued. "What the hell-" she shrieked as the headlights cut on and illuminated a man standing there. Green eyes glowing. Caleb strained his eyes to see the mans face "Who the hell is that???" The man raised his head, an evil grin plastered on his face. Anna knew who it was. She had seen him all of two times ever, and both times one of the guys ended up hurt. "Anti! What the hell-" 'Who is Anti!?" Caleb yelled "Its....hard to explain. Hes.... Well. Hes a glitch demon" He stared at her as if shed grown three heads " What the fuck do you mean by demon???' She swung her head around 'Well theres not a whole lot i could fucking mean Caleb!' She tried the door but the electric locks were stuck fast "Damnit!" She pulled her cellphone out, but there was no signal. In a last ditch effort she reached over and began honking the horn Anti glitched to the side of the car before they could blink. Kitchen knife glinting in the moonlight. He opened the drivers door. Caleb shrinking back into the back seat and Anna in the passenger "Ah. Anna... Good to see you sweet" 'Anti. What the fuck do you want?!?!" He giggled his staticy laugh "oh anna. I just want your little boyfriend to suffer" he smiled a sharp grin. "Now...come here!" A red string shot from nowhere and wrapped around Anna's wrist Caleb went to jump to the front when Antis knife sank through his stomach. Then a few more times for good measure "Ah ah ah. Now now. Look what you made me do Caleb boy.... Shame. I liked this interior" Annas eyes widened in horror and the scream that had been lodged in her throat came loose as he pulled the knife out and Calebs blood sprayed across her and the truck. As he slumped to the floorboard Anti grabbed Anna again ******* Kacey and Marvin had begun walking when they heard the horn. They were at the bottom of the hill and couldnt see anything....as soon as they heard Anna scream they sprinted the last hill They saw the truck with the doors open, Anna was nowhere in sight. Kacey dropped her camera stuff to the ground and tried to get passed Marvin but he kept blocking the backseat view. He could see Caleb slumped to the floor "Marvin move!! Get out of my way. I need to look--" "Kacey! Stop!!!" "Marvin i need to find my sister!" Marvin screamed at Kacey "Shes not there damnit!" "Then what the hell are you block--" she stopoed as all color that had been left drained from her face. She begain shaking her head. "No...no no no. " She shoved Marvin hard enough that he fell to the ground and scrambled over him to the truck. She screamed as she saw caleb and she pulled him from the back floorboard on the the ground. She head his head and cried "Caleb! Baby!! Look at me!" He weakly blinked and shakily raised a hand to her face, blood smearing her cheek "Kay--... I...love you" Kacey cried "baby. I love you too. Dont talk like that. You'll be fine. We can get you to Henrik... Caleb???" He smiled weakly and then his hand dropped and the light went out in his eyes "Caleb?! CALEB' Kacey's screams tore through Marvin. Along with the fear for Anna. He was looking around for anything...any clue....and then he saw it.... A red string tied onto Calebs wrist "Anti" Marvin spat. Kaceys head shot up "you mean....Marvin that psycho has my sister!!!!" "Yeah. And i know where hes going too..." Marvin picked up a small card that had *Warehouse* written on it. He called Chase and Henrik, they started on their way to the cemetery. "I swear he will pay K" Marvin said, his eyes practically burning. He couldn't stand seeing her so broken. And he couldn't stand that he had Anna. He turned and began walking.. "Bullshit. Im gonna be the one to make him pay for Caleb" Kayce said. She kissed Calebs head and laid him down gently and stood up. She ran to catch up to Marvin "No. Kacey, this is dangerous' "Marvin. I dont care. Thats my sister!" She shot back. The look in her eyes he knew there was no arguing with her. He sighed "Promise me when we get there, you get Anna and get the fuck out. Ill text Jackie and he can meet us there. But you will not engage that sonofabitch, do you understand me?" He said authoritatively. "Anna would never forgive me if you got hurt, and id never forgive myself" Kacey glared at him and nodded "Fine. But if he hurts you i swear.." He stiffined "if he hurts me you will run and not look back. Got it?" Kacey glared at him and didn't answer. They began to walk the couple of miles to the abandoned warehouse ********* Anna screamed as the knife cut across her stomach. "Now now. Dont blow out your vocal chords. I want Marvy to hear you cry for him when he gets here" Anti cackeled. "You sonofabitch. Hes going to kill you" Anna spat out at him. Anti threw his head back and laughed. It made Annas skin crawl "Oh anna. No. He wont. There will be death tonight. But not mine. No no.... First im going to carve you in front of him. And if your sister wants to come along, maybe ill let him watch me kill her too..... Orrrr" he said sming evilly "I could wrap him in my strings and make *him* do the dirty work" Anti giggled Annas brain raced. 'Oh God, no. Marvin would lose his mind if he hurt one of us. Even if it wasn't his doing.' She thought "Now." Anti said, placing a rope around her mouth to gag her. "You stay here and be a good little girl, Ill make your death quick" He walked away and shut off the over head light, plunging her into darkness. ****** "There!" Marvin exckaimed as they came over a ridge. "Theres the warehouse" Kacey started to run and Marvin grabbed her, gripping both her shoulders and getting into her face "Kacey...i dont know whats going on in there... I dont know if Im going to come out of this unscathed. But i promise you will. I promised Anna a long time ago, way before we started dating that id take care of you. I intend to keep that promise. You hear me?" Marvin asked, tears in his eyes Kacey nodded her head, crying "Marvin dont you dare die on me. Do you hear me?' She shot back. "I need you....i always have" with that she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. "Eh hem." Thry both jumped and Jackie walked into view "So...are we gonna lovefest out here or go inside and kick that glitch bitch's ass?" Marvin nodded and began down the hill. Jackie stopped Kacey "Dont worry. Ill get him out of there. You and Anna just get to safety" she nodded and hugged the hero and they follwed Marvin down and to the door to the building Marvin slowly opened the door. The three of them stepped inside. Marvin searched the wall and found a row of switches. He flicked one and an overhead light began to burn slightly. In the dim light he could see Anna, tied to a table. He swore aloud as Kacey ran past him to her sister "Kacey! Stop!" She froze.... Suddenly aware of the static in the air. "Mar--marvin?" She whispered shakily "Just walk slowly back to us.Now!" She began stepping backwards and suddenly ran into a body. She turned and screamed as he grinned and grabbed her by the throat. Anna began thrashing on the table and Marvin and Jackie began to come towards them Anti spun and stood behind Kacey and placed the knife to her neck as he stared the magician and hero down 'Ah ah. Dont come any closer boys. I rather like Kacey. I wouldnt want to have to hurt her" Anti said "Anti. Let her and Anna go you asshole!" Marvin yelled "Cmon Anti. This isnt about them!" Jackie said, eyes wide in fear and anger. Kacey shook as tears ran down her face, the cold metal of the blade on her throat. "Now now Kacey girl" Anti purred into her ear "No need to shake and shiver. Its very simple. If Marvin agrees to give me control, you and your sister can go" Jackie's eyes widened "Anti. Let them go now! You know its not going to happen!!" Anti smiled at Marvin and Jackie "Oh? I mean. He swore to protect them. His allegiance for their lives! Thats my offer! Though. It is funny" he sneered and lowered his knife "If i didnt know any better id say the way your thoughts are racing, Kacey is the one youre in love with Kitty Cat. Isnt your girlfriend the one on the table?" Marvin glared at Anti as green flames formed in his hands "Shut up you freak" he spit "Kace! Down!" Kacey dropped to the floor as he shot his power at Anti, catching him off guard. As soon as it him him a bolt of blue exploded into his chest and threw him into the wall. Jackies eyes were blazing and he and Marvin were more than ready to fight Kacey scrambled to her sisters side as the boys began throwing their powers and punches when they got close enough. "An. Im gonna get you out of here. Ok?" Kacey pulled her pocket knife out and began to cut the rope. She got the gag out of her sisters mouth and then cut her arns and legs free. Anna sat up and Kacey hugged her "Im so sorry Anna" kacey cried "Kacey. You didnt do this..... Im so sorry about Caleb. He tried to save me" Anna said as tears rolled down her face The girls turned to watch the fight. Kacey searching for a way to get to the door. Suddenly Jackie was thrown into some barrels and was dazed. Anti started for the girls and Marvin grabbed him, electricity coursing through him as Anti tried to glitch away "Kayce. Take Anna and go!" "No! Marvin I-' "Kacey! You promised! Leave!!!" Kacey shook her head as tears fell and she pulled Anna off the table. They began to go for the door when they heard a sicking crack and laughter They turned slowly. Color draining as they saw Anti standing alone and Marvin halfway through the wall behind him, struggling to try and stand. "Now now girls." The glitch growled "Kitty boy didnt take my offer. Your turn" Kacey barely blinked and suddenly Anti was behind Anna. She tried to pull her away but Anti was stronger. "No!' Anna started to fight with Anti but he backhanded her to the floor. He began to stalk toward her when Kacey tackled him to the ground and started wailing on him, screaming like a banshee "You stupid asshole. Dont touch her! Don't touch my sister ever again. I swear ill kill you! For caleb! For Marvin! For Jackie!" Suddenly her world went black as anti shot a green bolt that hit her in the face *** She could hear her own heart beat. Everything was hazy. Like she was under water. She could see Marvin....he began running toward where Anna and Anti were...and then he went flying back. Jackie was cradling Kaceys head and shot a blue light at Anti, the glitch dodged it and sneered. Then he got a shocked look on his face and turned, a long cut on his arm. Anna had grabbed his knife and sliced him open. He glanced down at it and then growled at her "Dont you hurt Marvin anymore! Or Kacey! " Anna screamed. "You little bitch!" Anti growled. He grabbed his knife from her and backed her into a corner. Across the room Marvin was fircing himself up from a pile of rubble. A piece of rebar had pierced his shoulder. Not deep enough to go all the way through. But hed have to get out of here before losing too much blood. He stumbled up in time to see Anna cut Anti and Anti grab the knife. He saw his girlfriend being backed into a wall and knew what was coming "Anna! No!" He screamed as he ran. Knowing hed be too late. Knowing Jackie would be too late They both almost collided into each other as they raced for Anna. They reached that point a half a second too late. Anti plunged the knife deep into her stomach and twisted it as she screamed and glitched away, disappearing with a cackle. Marvin caught Anna as she fell. "Baby?! An!!?" She began to cough. Blood coming from her mouth 'Kace....Kacey ..wheres Kacey?" She whispered weakly Kacey crawled over to them. Screaming when she saw her sisters injuries and the blood coming from her mouth "Anna! No! No! You cant-!' "Marvin---you-you promised youd take care if her' Anna coughed weakly 'Dont forget that ok...ok?" "Anna. You and me both will. Dont talk like that" Marvin cried out. His heart breaking She smiled sadly. "Marvin. I love you..... Dont ever forget that.... I want you to be happy. When the time is right. Be as happy as you want. Dont be sad on my account babe..." "Anna! Stop talking like that! You are going to be fine. Youll be ok! " Kacey cried as. Jackie wrapped an arm around her She smiled at her sister as tears rolled down her cheek "and you- you take care of him for me....make sure hes happy.... I love you " she grabbed her hand She leaned her head into Marvins chest and began to shake "Im so cold baby" she whispered. Marvin clutched her and felt the life leave her "Anna?! Anna no!!!!!" He screamed, mixing in the air with Kaceys sobs ******************* It had been a year. One year that he started going to that damn grave to talk to her. One year that hed been occasionally sleeping in the graveyard. One year since he stood by Kacey as she buried her boyfriend and her sister in the same week. A year since hed buried his girlfriend. Marvin hadnt come out of that warehouse the same. He never used his magic anymore. He had begun to drink more. He rarely came outaide except at night But one thing he did do was keep an eye on Kacey. They all did After the ordeal the guys had moved her into the house. The nightmares were hell for them all at first until Henrik found the right medicine to give her. Marvin could still hear her screams sometimes. Tonight Henrik had worked late and Marvin had been laying in bed, his door opened and Kacey had walked in, shaking and crying Marvin sat up "Kace. You ok??" She shook her head "I was- i was waiting for Schneep because he had to get a refill of my meds but he got stuck at the hospital and-- i just couldn't keep myself awake and....and" she began to cry. Marvin jumped up and wrapped his arms around her and smoothed her hair "hey. Hey. Shhh. Its ok" he steered her toward his king sized bed "Cmon. Come lay down in here. You can sleep in here tonight. " She nodded and climbed into the bed. When Marvin lay down she scooted over and put her hand on his arm. Craving a human touch. All she could feel when she tried to sleep without the medicine these days was Anti.... Marvin smiled and slid and arm behind her head and pulled her into him. She lay her head on his chest and sighed. Feeling guilty for being this comfortable. Marvin ran his hand up and down her arm and talked to her about her books and movies. Anything to distract her thoughts. "Marvin?" She whispered "Yeah Kace?" "Thank you..... Youre the only one that can make me feel safe...and even though you hurt like i do..you never hesitate to make sure i know youre here' he wrapped and arm around him and hugged him and then yawned. "I love you..." Marvins heart jumped. How many times had she said that to him? Almost none since that night. "I-i love you too Kace. And im always here..ok?' She snuggled into him and was asleep in minutes. Marvins mind was racing. He had the urge to kiss her face. He knew shed freak out so he didnt. He was also freaking out. "What the hell are you doing man?' He thought to himself. "This is Kacey. Your best friend... Your girlfriends"..... He stopped his thought "No. Anna is gone....This is your best friend who has gone through hell and back with you. Don't fuck her up more" He glanced at Kaceys sleeping face. He brushed her hair back. Wondering if she was eating ok. Shed lost about 30 pounds this last year, but she didn't move around as much or go out as much, Marvin made a mental note to have Schneep do a workup on her in the morning and then drifted off holding her *********** Days passed. Kacey was sitting on the back porch. Chase cane outside and sat with her "Hey! How are you today?" He smiled at her "Im ok Chase. Actually i feel pretty good! " Chase laughed "you seem like youve been sleeping better!" Kacey blushed, not knowing that the boys knew shed been sleeping in Marvins room. They knew it was nothing. That it was just that it seemed to help more than the medicine but she was embarrassed Chase smiled teasingly "Yeah. Marv is pretty cozy to lay against. He gets really warm" Kacey smacked his arm "Shut up!" Chase laughed loudly and patted her shoulder "oh calm down. I get it. You feel safer. I know. Dont worry about it" Kacey leaned her head on Chase's shoulder "Chase....can i tell you something?" 'Kacey. You can tell me anything' he said seriously "Sometimes i think if all that hadnt happened... Id have kissed him by now...." She said quietly Chase wrapped an arm around her shoulder "Kacey..... Its been a year . No one would blame you if you admitted to him how you felt...how youve felt for these last few years. Everyone else knows it...hell even Anna-...." He trailed off "Even Anna knew if she wasnt in the picture youd be with him" he finished quietly and Kacey sighed "Yeah. But now its like...... Wrong" "Why? Because you love him. Because you want to see him happy again?" Chase asked "No...because when he looks at me, im afraid thats all he sees, is her" Kacey said "Kace....she was your half sister. She was blonde and had blue eyes and was tall. You are short with auburn hair and green eyes.....youre your own kind of person." She shook her head "Thats not what i mean. Ill say little things that she used to or make gestures that she did. And i never noticed it until Marvin would flinch when i would do it...." She said sadly. Chase turned to look her in the face "Look. All i know is. Anna asked you two to take care of one another. She loved you both and wouldn't want you two moping around. Neither would Caleb. Theyd want you two happy. Even if that meant with each other. You cant help who you love hon" Kacey swallowed hard and nodded. Chase patted her on the leg and looked at his watch 'welp. I gotta get outta here. Im meeting the kiddos at the movies. Ill see ya" and he bounded down the steps and began walking down the street. ***** That night Kacey lay in the living room. Determined to fight the urge to go to Marvin. She needed to grow up. Her phone buzzed with a text She grabbed it and seeing it was from Marvin opened it M: hey...are you mad at me? K:No....why would i be? M: Well youve avoided me all day and its two hours past your bedtime. Whats up? K: i just dont want to be a burden is all M: Cmere. Please? Kacey set her phone down and thought for a moment and decided to go talk to him. She grabbed the phone and walked up to the top floor and walked into his room "Whats up?" She said as she sat down on the bed Marvin was sitting in the chair at the desk behind the door and turned to look at her "Its just...ive gotten so used to you sleeping in here...i dont know" he said sheepishly "I just thought i was bothering you' Kacey said "No!" Marvin said quickly. "Kacey...i.... I havent slept that well until you started coming in here." He admitted. "Its nice having someone close" Kacey blushed "okay.... If youre sure" Marvin stood and walked over to her and crouched so he was eye level with her and out a hand on her leg "yeah.. Im sure. I like having you in here......" Kacey smiled at him and brushed his hair out of his face "o-okay...Ill stay Marvin" Her eyes caught his and her heart jumped. Had they always been that blue? He stared at her a long while and hesitantly leaned forward "Kacey I....." He put a hand on the side of her face Kaceys heart began to race and she leaned forward "Marvin...." When they kissed, Marvin saw fireworks. He always thought that was a cliche...but there it was. Her hand snaked behind his neck and she deepened the kiss, craving his closeness. She pulled him to her and she lay back on the bed, he laid by her and continued to kiss her, stroking her hair, planting kisses on her forehead and cheeks and then back to her lips. Finally they parted and he lay backwards. She rolled to his chest and buried her face "Marvin i...i didnt.... " Kacey stammered. Embarrassed at how she had kissed him him....at how she wanted more Marvin was breathing hard and rubbed her arm up and down before he spoke "Dont apologize. Dont you dare. We are both adults and youre not the only one that wanted that" he said. His voice husky. They lay there in each other's arms in the silence for a while. "Kacey?" "Yeah Marvin?" She looked up at him. He shifted so she was laying and he was propped on one arm 'Can...can i kiss you again?' He asked quietly Kacey swallowed hard and just nodded, then reached for him and wrapped her arm around his neck as he captured her mouth with his. Their need for each other growing more apparent and scaring the hell out of Marvin. He ran kisses down her neck and back to her lips. Craving her. He wrapped his arm under her head and lay on her gently, burying his face in the crook of her neck and kissed her as her hands gripped his hair and she whimpered, not knowing how to feel about how good the kisses felt. Her hands ran under his shirt and and he shivered at her touch. He leaned up and smiled as her and his hand crept under the hem of her shirt, Kaceys head leaning back at his touch. He kissed the hollow point at the front of her neck and then her lips as her hand found his and pushed his further upward. Ready to give all control over to the only man shed ever trusted to go this far. ************* Weeks passed. They never said anything in front of anyone, but every night Kacey was in his bed. And every night Marvin reminded her how much he needed her. It was midday and Marvin and Kacey were the only ones home. She was sitting on the counter as he cut vegatables. "Kacey...im tired of hiding this' he said suddenly She looked at him 'What do you mean?" He walked to her and stood between her knees and wrapped his arms around her waist, her arms wrapping around his shoulders "This. Us." He said seriously Kacey blinked and smiled at him "well. Youve never established an 'us'" It was true. They hadnt labeled it. He didnt call her his girlfriend "I-i mean.... If you want this to be an....us" he stammered She giggled "Marvin. Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend. Because you're floundering" Marvin blushed and took a breath "Im asking you to let me be yours. Let me love you the right way.. ." he said staring into her eyes. Kacey studied him for a moment "Thats the one thing ive always thought id never hear.....ive always wanted to though" she said quietly "Kacey...will you be mine?" Marvin asked. Kissing her nose She smiled at him "Marvin. Ive always been yours. I was just waiting for you to catch up" and with that she kissed him hard "Ehhh heee hemmmm" Chase cleared his throat, scaring the crap out of the both of them. Henrik and Jack stood with him and they all three burst into laughter. "God damnit you guys!!!" Marvin shouted and threw a dish towel at them. You werent supposed to be here for that! "Oh yeah. Like none if us know about yall" Jack said laughing "Please. You two couldnt be more obvious if you wrote it on your foreheads!" "Yeah. Marv. You dont hide lovesick very well" Chase said laughing "Nor de scratches that bleed through the back of your vite shirts Bruder...Kacey. Cut you nails before you give him an infection" Henrik said With that Jack and Chase collapsed on the floor, howling in laughter at Kaceys facial expression and the. She too began to giggle uncontrollably "Schneep you asshole" she sputtered through her laughter "Well-" Marvin said "At least i know they like you!" The five of them again laughed for a long time. And then Marvin walked back over and kissed Kacey on the mouth and smiled. "I love you" She smiled back,knowing she had found her place "i love you too"

[neotericbitch]

a sequel to DarqAnon

part the first

It’s quite abusive, there I said it, how you’re allowed to force a ritual onto a child, whether it be reciting an anthem or staring at the sun, before their brain has developed enough to comprehend the significance. In fact, doing so makes it more likely that as the child grows up, they will never truly find meaning in the action! How sad is that? I’d never force anything on my son.

Growing up, staring into the sun was something I never understood. For a long time I didn’t, I couldn’t conceive of the satisfaction or happiness my family derived from it. It meant something to them, so they tried to teach it to me, but it never meant anything to me. I understood that the sun was their god, but because I never truly believed, I couldn’t grasp how or why it would be important to them to stare up at it, burning their eyeballs out of their sockets. Their god was sending a clear message, do not look at me. Why would they do it anyway?

Oh, but - do keep in mind that that’s all in the past. I understand now. I understand perfectly.

Valkyrie Cain has the most brilliant black eyes. Truly, her every feature is marvellous, her sharp nose, her expressive mouth - but I always go back to the eyes. For Crandall, it’s her hands. They’ve shared many times over many meetings, to the point where I find it very annoying, that they want nothing more than to feel her hands on the sides of their head before she crushes it. I think it’s a nice little fantasy to have, just stop telling us about it. I have only ever shared what I wanted two, maybe three times. That’s an acceptable amount of times! Any more is overdoing it, Crandall! Crandall, I know you’re listening. I’ve been able to feel it even when a very good Sensitive is in my head, Crandall, and you are not a very good Sensitive.

Beside me they turn their head away. Why would they want to listen to my thoughts, anyway, when Valkyrie is here? I suppose I understand their hesitance. Darquesse, goodness - Darquesse wouldn’t stand for anyone hearing her thoughts, absolutely not! To attempt it on her would be a high offence. But Crandall, if you’re still listening, I’d say go ahead for the time being. Darquesse isn’t here. Not yet.

Looking at her, it all makes sense. I want to call up my mother and tell her I understand, I understand wanting - needing! - to look at something, even if it does not want you to. The sun may try to blind you. Valkyrie may glare and scream and curse. But you simply cannot look away.

I cannot call up my mother, of course. She has been dead for a hundred years, and I’m busy right now - and I don’t think there’s mobile phone reception here anyway.

For this week’s Thursday meeting, 6 to 7:30, we have made a temporary move from the community hall to the vault, generously donated for DA’s use by Nicki, who we had to murder. Dear girl, she didn’t want to let me hold the meeting here this week. I suggested it at the end of last week’s meeting and everyone was very excited. A hundred meters beneath the spot where Darquesse opened her portal to another dimension and disappeared - we’re so lucky to have this place! Of course everyone wants to come here whenever we have the opportunity! But Nicki said no. Nicki said to me, “Isserley, these meetings have been really great, you are a good organiser and I’m very happy to have met everyone, but I think what you’re planning is wrong. Please return the vault key to me.” So we had to kill her.

And here we are tonight, and I almost wish Nicki were here so I could say, to think you didn’t want this! The meeting is going very well, I think it’s our best one yet. 6:40 and we’re just about to finish setting up, we’re a neat little group of people. We won’t go over time at all! I’d like to say that I, being an incredibly organised person, have been a good influence on my fellow DA-goers.

Salma finishes painting the symbol on the ground. Her designs are ugly, but she has a steady hand and knows how best to use the petrol paste, a very special concoction. No one else could have done this job - though I must admit, I am a bit envious. Easy, Isserley! Remember, your job is the most important. Without you, this wouldn’t work. Without you, Valkyrie would not even be here.

Salma reaches for Valkyrie. She thrashes wildly - and I can’t say I blame her! I wouldn’t want Salma to touch me, either! Haha. But it really won’t do for her to behave this way, we really need her complete cooperation, so I motion to Respite at the wall and he turns the crank, tightening the chains attached to the bound cuffs at her every limb. She is pulled tight, and by the sounds of it it’s not a very comfortable experience, but now she is tense and mostly still - perfect for Salma to draw the symbol on her wrists and stomach.

She puts up a hell of a fight when Respite disconnects the chains from the wall and reconnects them to the floor, at each corner of where the symbol has been painted so she is now seated in the centre. I can’t help but smile! She reminds me of one of those beautiful shrine maidens. If only I’d thought of that earlier. I would have put this off one more week and gotten an outfit made. But the clothes she put on herself this morning are more than lovely. Darquesse will like them. Darquesse will like being back.

Valkyrie keeps straining and trying to get up, the poor dear! I wish I could go over there and pat her face, like I used to pat my son’s when he was resisting me - I wish I could tell her everything will be alright. But I know, even chained and without magic, she could certainly find a way to kill me if I were within reach. And I don’t want her to kill me until the ritual is complete, of course! Otherwise what would be the point?

“I don’t even know,” Valkyrie growls - what a good word for it! Indeed, she is doing her very best to sound deep, dark and scary. Soon it will come naturally. “I don’t even know what you think this will do. It’s not a full moon, or a blood moon, or any kind of moon. It’s not a magical day, it’s not a holiday, it’s not even a day that means anything to me.”

It’s my birthday, but don’t tell anyone that. It’s my special little secret, my gift to myself.

“This sigil is totally made-up. It’s not going to do anything.” She tries to raise her hand to her face to wipe off some sweat, but the chain is too short. “Let me go and I’ll make it quick - because when Skulduggery gets here, he certainly fucking won’t.”

I crouch down to be on her level, and I’m filled with such...reverence. I understand. I understand. This is what I was supposed to feel kneeling in the sweltering heat for hours on end. I’m glad I feel it here instead.

“You will kill us,” I say. “But we’re not going to uncuff you, you’ll do that yourself.”

“What are you talking about?” She is so exasperated and so irritated and so wonderful. “These cuffs are bound. It doesn’t matter how great you think I am, I’m not that strong.”

“You will be! You will be.” In the corner of my vision I see Salma fidgeting. Salma!!! You’re ruining this!! To make her stop, I gesture at her so she can speak and stop annoying everyone with her movements.

“The sigil you’re sitting on,” she fires off in her horrible, grating voice, “and the sigils that are on you are my own designs. Just because you haven’t seen them before doesn’t mean they won’t work. They’ll work.” Her lip trembles and she bows her head. “I’m sorry you don’t...believe in me.”

Valkyrie stares for a moment. “You’re completely nuts.” Nuts! Aah! That’s the word I use to describe her! How exciting!

“They’ll work, I swear. I promise. We only need to activate them, and...” Salma looks to me. Unfortunately, I have to stand up now and go back to looking down on Valkyrie. It’s okay, though. It’s okay. Soon she’ll be looking down on me.

For now, she doesn’t look at me at all. She looks down at where she’s put her arms on her knees, wrists facing out. Perhaps Supreme Mage Sorrows once gave her a lesson on what certain strokes can mean, perhaps she’s trying to work out how to counteract our symbol.

She’s fabulous and smart, yes, but she won’t be able to work it out. I am confident. I snap my fingers, summoning a bright, orange flame into my hand. She lifts her head, looks me directly in the eye, and I smile widely. Very widely. Not widely enough. I hope, before Darquesse kills me, she at least takes the time to appreciate what I’m doing for her. I hope she recognises how much I love her. No - I don’t hope. I know. She will. She must.

I take a step forward and crouch again, reaching my hand out to the edge of the symbol on the ground. My flame will catch onto the petrol paste and spread immediately. Valkyrie will be burned, but only a little bit! Just a little bit. Long enough for the fire to catch the symbols on her skin, and she will be protected - and Darquesse will be summoned back into her. She will be complete again.

Before my flame touches the paste, Valkyrie shoots her hand out and smudges the line, which gives me just about the fright of my life! Thank goodness I have such incredible reflexes, otherwise I wouldn’t have jerked my hand away in time. The paste would have caught on fire and surely burned her to death! She rubs her wrists together, wiping away the symbols written there, then kicks her legs out from under her so she’s in a more traditional butt-to-ground position, but that means she’s made the ground symbol worse and displaced dirt into my face.

It’s hard to love her when she has literally blinded me. That whole thing about the sun and everything, it was more of a metaphor. I still love her of course! I’m only taken aback. Anything I may say as I fall backwards isn’t really my fault, since she’s the one who kicked dirt in my eyes. It's more of my reflexes. I never would say anything of the sort to her under normal circumstances. Never.

“You bitch!”

What an inconvenience. I don’t get to see any of what happens next! I only hear the door flying open and gunshots, the sounds of my people yelling and trying to fight. Punches, kicks, bodies falling to the ground. When I hear Salma scream and feel her blood land on my face, I can’t help it! I can’t help it but think, serves you right for putting a cent in the collection tray every week!

“Skulduggery, the-”

“Valkyrie. Are you alright?” Is that him getting on his knees? Maybe he understands after all. “Are you hurt?”

“My skin���s burning, let me loose so I can get this shit off me. The crank on the wall, I think that controls the cuffs.”

I roll onto my side and wipe the dirt from my eyes. I hear Pleasant at the wall, turning the crank back and hitting the release. It’s terribly uncomfortable, but I can open my eyes and see well enough - and what I see is Crandall dead next to me! It’s such a shock, my heart skips at least three beats. That rotten Pleasant. What a barbarian. I lift my head as carefully as I can, so I won’t be noticed. Valkyrie has lifted her shirt to get the symbol off her stomach and cannot see me.

This is so unfair. I put so much work into this plan. It was so hard to trap her! I was going to bring Darquesse back. Me. Not Crandall, not Salma. Not Nicki. Her black eyes would have bored into my skull and killed me and I would have been good and happy. Huh! Maybe I'm not too different to those Faceless worshippers who go blowing themselves up in public places.

“Isserley. I thought that was you.” Pleasant. Pleasant is talking to me. “How have you been?”

Valkyrie snaps her head up at him. “You know her?”

“We’ve seen her in the High Sanctuary.”

“Jesus. Is there anyone you don’t remember.”

“No.” He reaches out and wipes the rest of the symbol off her stomach in one motion. I have dirt in my eyes but I see how her tummy kind of curls in a bit as she drops her shirt down.

That should be me. That should be me. I love her more than anyone. I burst into tears.

“She tried to set me on fire.”

“I think a list of people who haven’t tried to set you on fire would be shorter than a list of those who have.” I hear the clink of handcuffs. “Come on, now, Isserley.”

I let my head drop back onto the ground and stare up at the ceiling. I do not take one more look at Valkyrie. I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy. I failed. “Why don’t you just kill me.” I’m not even aware of myself saying it, to be honest! Just one of those things that...slips out...

“She makes a good point, Skulduggery.”

“Can’t be done. We should leave at least one cultist alive to arrest, so why not take the woman in charge?”

“How do you know she’s the one in charge?”

His terrible skull fills my vision as he looks down at me. You know, hearing him talk this much at one time has jogged my memory. And he does happen to wear very beautiful suits. My mouth falls open. “You’re-”

Valkyrie was startled for a moment by the sudden gunshot. Shoulders tensed, she looked over to Skulduggery standing over the woman, gun still pointed into a face that didn’t really exist anymore.

“What made you change your mind?” she asked as he put the revolver away. Skulduggery came over to her and brushed some hair out of her face, went back to fussing over the injuries she sustained on her way here.

“Too talkative,” he said, and she laughed and teased him about being a hypocrite.

[panticwritten]

Writing request! Carl and Sawyer (some version of you, I’m not sure where Carl usually fits in) have stumbled into the same dungeons and dragons forum and become closer through battling together (not 100% sure of Carl’s personality, be him not the type for this or totally the type). This can be a silly throw away or warmup up one since it is me.

Okay, so Cherry sent me this like forever ago. I wrote it, they read it because they live with me, but I forgot to actually post it! The name change to Kane is going smoothly, and I’m ready to never think about that asshole as Karl again lmaooooo

So, yeah, Kane and I play some DnD and he’s not subtle about anything ever at all. 

I’ll have to wait until after I post this to change the colors of the different people in the text chats because lord knows I look at those strings of chat-text and have a time sifting through it. Homestuck has spoiled me.

Word count: 2270

@asinwolves @avi-burton-writing @infinitelyblankpage @no-url-ideas-tho @jade-island-lives @ravenpuffwriter @spirit-wizard-nerd @steakfryday @alextriestowritestuff @cataclystr0phe  @perringwrites @davidvalencia323 @fluffpiggy @dont-trust-the-clogs @authorkimberlygrey @aclassilighthouse @cherrytying

I don’t think Kane knows I know.

If the smattering of ‘kid’ in our correspondences hadn’t tipped me off, it would definitely have been the way he made his character. I doubt anyone else would get the joke or see what he’s doing, but seriously? His character isn’t anything like him, of course.

If he were to be himself, he’d be a tiefling fighter. Either scout (ha) or cavalier archetype. He’d be a faction agent. Making a call between the chaotic alignments might be a shaky one sometimes. His attributes terribly skewed toward charisma and dexterity.

But he’s chosen a true neutral urchin. A mastermind rogue. An eladrin. The attributes are fairly balanced, save for dexterity always hovering above the others and strength a little lacking. Nothing like Kane. Not at all.

No, that’s the point.

He made a character that is exactly what I end up presenting myself as in the damn Cube. How I always play in console RPGs. Behavior just not erratic enough to be chaotic. Snarky and angry, never overtly because of the need to cover every goddamn emotion up. Inconsistent.

I’m not sure when I realized it was him. I thought it might be a member of the Collective when I first got the invitation from an unknown player. With Haz, j355, Hal, and Jax as mods of the server and tag-teaming as DMs, I slowly caught on to Kane’s game.

He’s making fun of me. He must have been playing with this character for some time, with their high level, and I wonder how long he’s been planning this.

It took me a little bit to even realize most of the similarities between myself and the character. My own character, a homebrew ice genesai, a brawler, bonded fairly quickly with them because they’re both urchins and saved each others’ asses when their time in the city overlapped.

He uses my lines, though. The whole ‘I’ll be fine’ shtick and his character has mentioned being a poet several times. After that, it took a few more days of play to start realizing it was him. That it was Kane playing such a long game.

The first time it occured to me, it was a bad call on what the endolin would do. We were looking for the deed to a seemingly abandoned manor. We hadn’t run into anything but low-level scavenging animals. In short, any good player would be a little on-edge and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Halexander (MOD): Alright. The second you both clear the door, it slams shut behind you.Match (SeeSaw): Crap.Videre (ANON): whats in the room?Halexander (MOD): It’s a pretty nondescript room. Pretty small, almost looks like a study with three desks lining one wall and a bookshelf on another. There’s a couch shoved into a corner, looks like it was slept in recently.Match (SeeSaw): Can we roll investigation real quick?Halexander (MOD): Go for it, dude.Match (SeeSaw): 5Halexander (MOD): You notice that, unlike the rest of the place, there’s no dust. The whole room is swept clean of it. That’s it. The epitome of observation.Match (SeeSaw): Okay. Videre?Videre (ANON): nah im goodHalexander (MOD): You sure? Just gonna barge in there?Videre (ANON): the doors locked right what else can we do?Match (SeeSaw): Whatever. I’ll get a closer look at the couch.Videre (ANON): imma look at the closest desk while the kid does thatMatch (SeeSaw): Fuck youHalexander (MOD): I’ll put some form of that exchange as being in character.Match (SeeSaw): GoodMatch (SeeSaw): Now, the couchHalexander (MOD): To clarify, you’re both investigating different areas of the room?Match (SeeSaw): YesVidere (ANON): yeahHalexander (MOD): Excellent.

I was so used to the DMs at least pretending to need time to formulate responses that Hal’s immediate block of text took me by surprise.

Halexander (MOD): The two of you cross the room in different directions, as if by silent agreement. Match is slower, being more hesitant, so Videre gets to the desks first. Before you can do more than peer at the desk, however, there is a cry behind you. The bedding on the couch lashed out and has taken Match captive. Match, a blanket has one wrist and a facemask has bound itself over your eyes due to your proximity when the animation first occurred. Roll Initiative.Match (SeeSaw): Whaaaaat. Not cool. Okay, 16.Halexander (MOD): Enchanted Bedding got 12.Halexander (MOD): Videre?Videre (ANON): am i far enough away that i can stay out of order and keep looking through the drawers?

Uh.

Match (SeeSaw): What the fuck. I’m being attacked here, your rapier would take care of this in like two seconds.Videre (ANON): you dont know that. i have a feeling the deeds in here just give me a minuteHalexander (MOD): You can stay out of the fight if you want, but you still need to roll so we can keep this orderly.Videre (ANON): fineVidere (ANON): 8Halexander (MOD): Thanks for cooperating.Match (SeeSaw): Okay, first off, Match is never going to trust you again.Videre (ANON): he doesnt even know im helping yet. he cant see rememberMatch (SeeSaw): WHATEVERMatch (SeeSaw): Is the blanket pulling on me or just holding me there?Halexander (MOD): It’s tugging something fierce. The rest of the pile of blankets and pillows are writhing as if alive.Match (SeeSaw): I guess I’ll attack the blanket with that dinky little knife.Match (SeeSaw): “you should empty your bag in case you find good loot” THANKS VIDERE NOW I DONT HAVE MY GOOD WEAPONSVidere (ANON): hey you should know better than to listen to me by now kidMatch (SeeSaw): When we finish this, I will find you and kill you.Halexander (MOD): Also canon, in-character dialogue.Match (SeeSaw): YEET, crit. 5 damageMatch (SeeSaw): Don’t think you’re off the hook here, HalHalexander (MOD): I resent that.Halexander (MOD): And that’s including your proficiency?Match (SeeSaw): 6 damage.Halexander (MOD): That’s what I thought.Halexander (MOD): You slash blindly at the blanket. You manage to cut the corner holding you clean off. You’re still blinded, but you’re free to move.Match (SeeSaw): OKAY YEAH I BACK THE FUCK UP AND ASK VIDERE WHAT THE FUCK THEYRE DOINGHalexander (MOD): You stumble back into the door.Match (SeeSaw): Hold up just a fucking second

I scrolled up to reread the chat.

Match (SeeSaw): Can I try opening the door?Halexander (MOD): Unfortunately, you’ve exhausted your turn. The mass of blankets shoots out another piece but cannot quite reach you in its haste. Obviously, you don’t actually see this because: The blindfold begins to tighten around your eyes. That’s it for that, what’s next on the agenda?Videre (ANON): how many of these drawers could i search in one turn?Halexander (MOD): Two.Videre (ANON): how many drawers in each desk?Halexander (MOD):Three.Videre (ANON): ill search two drawers in the first deskHalexander (MOD): Alrighty then. The first drawer is full of vials and tubes. Most of them stand empty, but there is a vial each of blue, red, and orange liquid. The second contains a weathered journal.Videre (ANON): ill snag those three vials and pocket the journalHalexander (MOD):Of course you will.Match (SeeSaw): Can I open the door now.Halexander (MOD): Since Sherlock Holmes over here can’t do much else, I’ll bite. The door, amazingly, shockingly, opens once you manage to find it with the blindfold currently limiting your sight and putting increasing pressure on your skull.Match (SeeSaw): Okay, we’re dumb.Match (SeeSaw): Videre, the door’s open, let’s get the hell out of here!Videre (ANON): im not doneMatch (SeeSaw): Are you serious right now.Halexander (MOD): Better make the rest of your turn good.Match (SeeSaw): K. I cut the string on the blindfold and join that IDIOT at the desksHalexander (MOD): I’m honestly just gonna take that as a free action.Match (SeeSaw): Sweet. Can I search a drawer?Halexander (MOD): You definitely can.Match (SeeSaw): I’ll start on the middle desk, I guess.Match (SeeSaw): I’ll deal with YOU later, VidereVidere (ANON): looking forward to itHalexander (MOD): The drawer holds a dusty lab coat. That’s it.Match (SeeSaw):Why the fuck not, I’ll take it.Halexander (MOD): You done?Halexander (MOD): Just kidding, I know you are. The blanket wraps around your ankle to pull your feet out from under you. Roll for acrobatics to see if you eat shit.Match (SeeSaw): Jesus fuck.Match (SeeSaw): 10Halexander (MOD): You slam your face into the desk on the way down. Take 1d4 damage for that, and your nose is bleeding.Match (SeeSaw): Why are you doing this to me.Halexander (MOD): You chose to let me design this campaign. What did you think would happen?Match (SeeSaw):2Halexander (MOD): While you’re down, another blanket catches you by the wrist. Again. Go, Videre.Videre (ANON): two more drawersHalexander (MOD): The first is full of pieces of metal. Mostly junk, nuts and bolts. The second is empty, so I’ll knock the action down and let you open another one.Match (SeeSaw): IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR HANDS AFTER THIS YOU WILL HELP ME RIGHT NOWVidere (ANON): yeah ill open another drawer. that leaves three left right

They searched every single drawer before helping me, by which time I was almost dead and being smothered by a pillow. They found the deed and I chewed them out on the way back to town. They said they knew I would be fine, they needed to find the deed, and there was no harm done.

Having already seen the parallels this anonymous player was making between their character and myself, I bristled at my computer.

Match (SeeSaw): Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. You won’t stay anonymous forever.Videre (ANON): oh im so scaredVidere (ANON): are you gonna come kick the shit out of me over a dumb game? give it up and find something else to obsess over if youre gonna be like that kidVidere (ANON): im just staying in character

And I had a good idea who was on the other side of the computer after that. Especially after I found out he’d done a covert investigation check with Hal instead of sharing with me. He knew there was an enemy in the room before we even entered. Was likely planning on using me as a distraction from the beginning.

The next time he surprised me, we were working for the owner of an orphanage to find ways to exploit parents interested in adoption. Match goes along with it because why not. Also because fuck adults.

But Videre surprised both me and Jax.

Jaxabandit (MOD): u want to what?Videre (ANON): buy the orphanageMatch (SeeSaw): We won’t get paid if you do that.Videre (ANON): im gonna assume that was in character and not in this whole ‘ooc’ space or whateverMatch (SeeSaw): Duh. The guy’s slimy and gross. But just because you have money doesn’t mean Match does. He needs the paycheck.Videre (ANON): think of it this wayVidere (ANON): if dicks like this werent in power match wouldnt have grown up on the streetsMatch (SeeSaw): That’s not how he thinks about shit and you know it.Videre (ANON): and hes not the one holding a huge sack of gold right now

I didn’t know what to think. By this point, I knew it was Kane. The fact that I asked Haz helps, but I know the way he talks to me. He’s the only one that would do this and keep up with it for so long.

So now, I’m not exactly sure what to do.

Match just died, like D-E-D, dead, and Videre is flipping the fuck out. The two of them had become fairly close friends. They were snarky and prickly toward each other, but they were partners in crime and would likely kill for each other.

Videre gets really scary in the final stretch of that fight.

I didn’t realize Kane thought so highly of my intimidation skills. I didn’t think he thought highly of me at all, not outside of work. I was just a tool and a weapon and something to either give orders to or take orders from.

But Videre is a force of nature toward the end. Being a mastermind rogue, they confuse the ice devil as well as fighting it. They show a lot of skill they didn’t before, turning a few unlucky rolls into happy mistakes. Even they seem surprised when they win.

Videre (ANON): wellVidere (ANON): i guess i know what its like to be you nowThe Old Hazzle Dazzle (MOD): Are you done now, Kane?Videre (ANON): wow cats out of the bagMatch (SeeSaw): You’re awful at hiding who you are, though.Match (SeeSaw): Also, you’re an assholeThe Old Hazzle Dazzle (MOD): Did you want to make a new character and keep going? Or call it quits for now?Match (SeeSaw): I think I’m done. I gotta go challenge Kane to a fist fight.Videre (ANON):gotta find me first

- Videre (ANON): has left the chat -

He’ll have to try a hell of a lot harder than that to get out of actually hanging out with me like a person.

[ogwivia]

Want You Back- Youngblood Stories 1

{This is a set of original stories by Olivia Franklin. Each one is inspired by a song off the album Youngblood. I hope you enjoy, and if you have ideas for the other stories please let me know}

Here you sat, an unopened letter in front of you. It had your name written on it in that handwriting you had grown to know and love; he had even drawn a little heart beside it. How ironic that he would put this in a letter, after all, a letter is what started your relationship.  Here you sat, trying to make yourself open it; but you were so afraid of what it might contain. As you sit there contemplating, your mind wanders back through everything that has happened over the past couple weeks.

When you woke to the sound of your alarm blaring on the bedside table, your first thoughts were not happy. You laid there for a few moments trying to gain your bearings and muster up the will to be awake. Then, suddenly, your brain remembered why the alarm was going off and you quickly shot up out of the bed. Your boyfriend Luke had called a couple days earlier to ask if you would go watch the sunrise with him; mornings are something you absolutely despise, but he makes it all worth it.

You quickly get up, throw on some sweatpants and your favorite t-shirt adorned with roses, brush your teeth, wash your face, then head downstairs to await Luke’s arrival. This outfit did not make you look super cute, but this was Luke. You could show up wearing a trash bag and he would say you deserve to be walking the red carpet at the Met Gala.

He pulls up to your house and you quickly jump into the car. You are reminded why you love this man so much when you see that he is also adorning sweatpants and a t-shirt. He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and you to drive away, bound for the mountains.

When you get up to the top of the mountain, Luke lays out a blanket. He lays down and pulls you into his arms, all is as it should be. You find yourself wishing this moment could never end; everything was perfect.

“Hey, I want to tell you something”, Luke says breaking the silence.

“Okay”, you respond, a little nervous about what is coming next.

“I love you”

As you snap back to the present for one moment, you find this memory has brought a tear to your eye. You wish more than anything in the world you could go back and tell yourself to just say it back to him, but at that moment you couldn’t. You wanted to say it, so badly you did, but because of your past, you couldn’t make the words come out of your mouth. Your brain then painfully continues the memory.

“Luke I-“

“You what”

“You’re so sweet, but I-“

The expression in his eyes changed to one of deep hurt, you could see it in his eyes.

“Don’t you love me too?”

This question pained me so much. He knew you did, he knew the answer to this question.

“Luke, I’m sorry I just can’t. I’m not ready yet, you know why I can’t”

“I can’t believe this”

“Luke I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’m trying to be over it, I really am. I just need a little bit more time.”

“It’s been three months, when is going to be enough time? Am I just supposed to wait forever for you to be ready?”

He rolled over releasing you from his arms. You tried to hold the tears back, but you couldn’t. His words broke your heart. You laid there silently as the sun slowly began to creep above the mountains, but you found no joy in this scenery.

Snapping back to the present, your eye makeup is now completely smeared on your face. You clutch the letter so tightly that you are not sure how it didn’t disintegrate between your fingers. Why, why couldn’t you have just said it back to him that day; three simple words that could’ve saved you a world of hurt. Your sorrow suddenly turns to anger as you remember why you couldn’t make the words come out of your mouth. Your mind takes you back to another memory, three months before the day of your mountain trip to be exact.

Your parents died when you were very young and none of your family members would take you in, because of this you were sent to a group home. They did their best to care for you, but you never felt very special or loved. You spent most of your childhood trying to prove you were worth something, afraid that no one would ever love or want you. After all, if your own family didn’t want you, why would anyone else? You spent your whole life dreaming of the day you turned 18 and could move out, but for now, you were stuck here; you had no choice but to make the best of it.

You were so desperate to feel loved and wanted that you took the first offer that came along. Darren seemed like a knight in shining armor to you when you first met him during your freshman year of high school. You were so desperate to be loved and wanted that you let him treat you like trash. But you stayed, you stayed because you feared if you ever left that you would be alone forever. Eventually, your mind began to wonder if this was what love was all about. You were only 6 months old when your parents passed away, so you had no idea what real love looked like.  At some point, you began to accept that you were stuck, he was probably right, no one else could ever love someone as broken as you.

This was it, this was why you couldn’t say those three words back to Luke. You loved him with all your heart but growing up your mind had been trained to think love meant something very different. When you finally got away from Darren, you made a vow that you wouldn’t say those words again until they meant something again.

When you were seven, the girl’s home you lived in took a trip to Australia; this was where you met Luke. Being so young, you thought of him as a playmate and nothing more. You and Luke played together on the beach almost every day. At the week’s end, you two exchanged addresses and promised to write each other frequently.

You two did your very best to keep in touch and became great friends through the years. Now the little boy you met on the beach was grown up and touring the world with his three best friends. Around the time you began dating Darren, the two of you lost contact. He was busy touring and you were busy trying to graduate high school. After a while, you gave up any hope of expecting a letter and figured Luke had moved on with his life and left you. Goodbye was all you had ever known, so why would you expect this to be any different.

After breaking up with Darren, you ran all the way back to the group home, not knowing what to do or how to handle your emotions. After composing yourself again, you decided you needed to do something, anything! You were not sure what made you do it, but you decided to sit and write a letter to Luke. He always seemed to know how to cheer you up, but would he even reply? Would he even care? It didn’t matter, you had to try.

Looking back now, you are so glad you wrote that letter that day.

A couple of weeks later you received a reply from Luke with tickets to his concert in your town. You went, saw him, and the rest was history. You guys exchanged numbers and from then on phone calls and facetime were a nightly occurrence. After a few weeks of talking, Luke asked you if you would be interested in starting a relationship. At first, you were hesitant, after everything that happened was it a good idea to do this again? Despite your worries, you agreed. Agreeing to be his girlfriend was the best decision you ever made.

Life was so amazing and simple back then, why did that all have to change. Your mind snaps back to that fateful day in the mountains.

You had never seen Luke so upset before, it hurt you to see him this way. The ride home was silent and torturous. He kept his eyes glued to the road, never looking at you. Once you were dropped off at your house, he sped away. As soon as you got in the door your heart shattered; to make matter even worse, it had just began raining. ‘

Through the tears, you heard your doorbell rang; you pulled yourself together and went to answer it.

“Luke”, you said with a mix of confusion and sorrow, “what are you doing here”

“We need to talk”

“Yea, we do”

“I love you, with all of my heart, but I can’t wait around forever for you to be ready to love me back”

“Luke, you know why I can’t say it, I’ve told you a million times why I can’t say. I thought you understood, I thought you were okay with that.”

“I was okay, I really was, but it’s getting a bit ridiculous at this point. You should be over it, it’s time to move on with your life”

“Luke how could you even say that”

“Wait I- I shouldn’t have said that I-“

“You know, I thought you were different. I opened my heart again, which took a lot out of me, and I thought you would protect it and care for it.  I thought you were different, but you’re not. I get it, I get it that I’m broken and come with a lot of baggage; but why can’t you just help me carry it until I’m ready to let go.”

There is dead silence, and in that silence, made one of the worst decisions of my life.

“Luke, I don’t think this is ever going to work. I’m not ready to move on and you can’t wait any longer.

Maybe we weren’t meant to be together, maybe this a sign. I- I think you should go”

You stood there waiting for him to say something, anything, but no words came out of his mouth. It seemed as if you were going to explode in tears, but you held back. Without another word, a teary-eyed Luke walked back to his car and left.

Now here you were, two torturous months later, staring at this letter in your hand. Over the past two months, you had done nothing but cry. You could muster up the courage to take down the picture of you and Luke, yet every time you stared at them, your heart shattered a little bit more. You missed him so much that it caused you physical pain, but at the same time, you knew you still weren’t ready to say those three fateful words.

The main thought crossing your mind was that Luke deserved to be with some who could say that to him, someone who wasn’t so broken.

He deserved someone who wasn’t you.

You fully expected to never hear from him again, after everything you said why would he ever want you back?

You had finally accepted that you would be alone forever.

Then you checked the mail this morning. In it were bills, a couple magazines, and the letter you now held in your hand. You had just begun to move on, maybe it would be better not to read it.

No, no. This was not how the story was going to end. Gathering up every bit of courage you had left, you opened the letter and began reading.

My love,

I know a letter from me is probably the last thing you were expecting, but I figured maybe the best way to get my message across would be to take you back to something familiar. I need to tell you that I messed up, I messed up and I am so sorry.

Everything that happened that day replays in my mind like an old song with a catchy tune. Except this song is full of lyrics that I don’t want to hear, they remind me of how badly I messed up. I think of you every single day, and with each one that passes, I miss you a little bit more. All the memories flash through my mind at a million miles a minute.

I try to move on, I really do.

But then I remember the freckles on your back and the way that I used to make you laugh. Every morning I wake up I still reach for you. I remember the roses that were on your shirt when you told me this would never work. You know even when I say I’ve moved on, even though I know that you’re gone, all I think about is where I went wrong.

I still dream for you.

No matter where I go, I’m always gonna want you back. No matter how long you’re gone, I’m always gonna want you back. I know, you know I will never get over you. You are my light, my life my all. I had no right to demand you move on faster. I know you love me, I truly do.

So here I sit writing to tell you that I messed up badly, but I’m asking for a second chance. A second chance to be the support system you need, a second chance to love you. If you’re not ready to say you love me that is okay because you are worth every single second I will wait to hear those words come out of your mouth.

Love Always,

Luke

 You stood there in stunned silence for a moment while your brain processed the words you just read. Could it really be true? After all that had happened could he really want you back?

It was the last words, the last words that got to you the most.

“You are worth every single second I will wait”

When you read the words, you could feel every wall your heart had built up shatter into a million pieces. The tears streaming down your face turned from those of sadness to those of joy.

Without even a second thought, you quickly ran to your phone and dialed the number you knew by heart.

Ring, ring

“Hey! I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

“Luke I-“

“Did you get my letter? I’m guessing you got my letter, or you wouldn’t have called me. Anyway, I’m so, so sorry and I-“

“Luke…”

You take a deep breath before uttering the next words, it’s time, you’re ready.

“I love you”