#but i just keep losing the motivation and courage to do that...

[notsodailycake]

Guuuh I've been so tired for absolutely no reason. Evern with a good night's sleep, not staying up late, anything I tried this past week, I've just been getting more tired each time

I wanna sleep everytime, the whole day I just think about sleeping, and when I go to bed? I ACTUALLY SLEEP! That doesn't usually happen, I stay up late even when I'm tired!

But apparently, I'm tired enough that I actually sleep, but not enough where I don’t feel tired during the day

[cinnamongrl2006]

Ferrari driver!Jason Todd x Journalist!Reader⋅ ౨ৎ  ‧₊ .ᐟ 

a/n: here’s part two

warnings: Reader's appearance is not described but she is referred to as a woman, idk not much else?

Summary: It's your first weekend working at a f1 paddock and you interview Jason after a bad race.

────୨ৎ────

It was your first weekend in the formula one paddock after your internship at a newspaper. It was the first weekend you had an actual grown up job, the first weekend you couldn't fuck up. It was just your luck that you'd been selected to interview Ferrari driver!Jason Todd after his race.

Ferrari driver!Jason Todd had a very bad race, his pit stop lasted a second longer than it should've, his engineer called for team orders and he finished right outside the podium. If he'd overtaken his teammate at some point he'd be standing there, covered in champagne with a trophy in his hands and a medal around his neck.

But instead he pads over to the post race interviews, hair tousled from the helmet, pupils blown wide. His assistant steers him towards a reporter and he braces himself for the same sour, intruding questions as always. He doesn't look up from his hands, fidgeting with his watch and bracelets.

Ferrari driver!Jason Todd who is known to have a temper after a tough race, which unnerved you.

"Good morning, mr. Todd!" You greeted him with a poster smile and introduced yourself, stretching out a hand towards him. He shook your hand and straightened up in front of the camera readying for the turmoil to come.

"How was the race?" You asked, glancing down at your notes and back up, meeting his gaze. He grumbled under his breath but answered politely.

"We had a good start, getting both cars in the podium— I honestly think we could've won the race, or at the least get both cars in the podium, but...strategy is what it is. You win some, you lose some. We'll keep pushing."

You nod in acknowledgement.

"How do you mentally process the difference between a race well won and a race narrowly lost? Do you see it as a lesson, motivation or something else entirely?" You breathed as you pushed your microphone towards him.

Oh. He thought. That's a fucking good question. It wasn't the type of question the hours of Ferrari media training taught him to answer or deflect, it was different. It let him think.

Ferrari driver!Jason Todd is taken aback by your question. Your words cut through his foggy, scrambled mind like a block of butter. He opens his mouth as if to answer but he just sighs and closes it again.

He regards you with curiosity for a second before finally answering, "Well, to be fairly honest it depends on the race; it's not the same to finish fourth in a championship opener than after getting p1 the race before..." He hummed. "Yeah, I guess I do see it as motivation, us athletes need to strive to be better, that's how we make a living." He fucking winks at you.

You blink, startled, before laughing it off awkwardly.

You don't have time to process what's happening before Ferrari driver!Jason Todd is pushed away from you and onto another journalist. In the same manner, a short Japanese driver is shoved towards you, quickly.

Your eyes don't linger too much on Jason, and that's a shame, because you don't notice how his eyes stay glued onto you, how his gaze, so sharp, so blue, could cut a hole through your skull.

Ferrari driver!Jason Todd is not smitten, that's for teenagers. He's not blushing at a complete stranger who is not even looking in his general direction; or so he tells himself.

It takes him a persuasive phone call with Roy to muster up the courage to ask you out on a date.

Ferrari driver!Jason Todd runs into you in the hotel lobby (it's not like he's been pacing around it for the last hour) and invites you over to dinner with his friends. When you ask him why he grumbles a little and admits he was rude to you.

"You asked a good question, our time was cut short." He says, matter-of-factly.

"Well, yes, but—"

"I also think you're beautiful, is that good enough a reason?" He asks, leaning down closer to you.

────୨ৎ────

masterlist

co written with @prettywritergirl2 !!

[tteokdoroki]

happy valentine's day!! thank you so much for your lovely writings ❤️❤️ may i swipe spicy (breeding kink :3) for nagi + ring? thank you again!! i hope i'm doing this right ;-;

⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚⟡. — SEISHIRO NAGI. swipe spicy: bound forever.

about. boom, it’s a match! after a perfect proposal, nagi decides to make you his forever in a more sinful way ( 2.3K ).

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! nsfw, smut, characters aged up to 20s, established relationships, engagements, light choking, cum play, unprotected sex, breeding kink, pro player!nagi, fem!reader.

・:〃⤥ bumble date, swipe right event !

seishiro nagi is effortlessly good at everything. 

with his friends — his aloof charm and easygoing nature is enough to keep them entertained. they don’t find his shy and laidback nature too off-putting or boring. with soccer, his talent is natural — born from nothing but a spark of interest. when he’d first started, nagi was a level above the rest without any of the extra hard work and training…but he’d craved to be better, to win above everyone else. so, at times, soccer was worth the hassle.

and with you, well, being with you was as easy as breathing air. 

effortless is exactly the word the white haired striker would use to describe his relationship with you. on good days and bad, you and nagi fit together like perfectly made pieces of a puzzle. there’s something about the way that you love him, that motivates nagi to push himself past his limits. he’s better because of you, wants to be better for you — always. there is no feeling of hassle or tiredness when it comes to making you happy, your laughter fills nagi with life and a passion akin to what he feels whenever he’s on the pitch.

seishiro has no idea what it is about you that made him this way. but what he does know now is that he can’t live with you — the way you smile at him, hold him, love him, kiss him. it’s something he can’t bare to be without now that he’s tasted what it’s like to live life with you by his side. that’s why he finds the courage to propose to you on Valentine’s Day — uncharacteristically serious and nervous as he sinks down onto one knee in the cosy corner of that restaurant you like. 

what if you reject him? what if you say no? bringing back the ring would be a hassle but the thought of losing you is even worse…

though, when you realise what’s going on and your eyes light up with such undiluted love and adoration — the words of little speech nagi had prepared for this moment slip from him easily as if he had been born to ask you to marry him. to be with you forever. and now, for the rest of your lives — you will always be his and seishiro nagi will always be yours. 

a promise that is commemorated with the biggest and most blinding diamond ring nagi’s hefty soccer player paycheck can buy. 

romantic dinner plans were quickly thrown out of the window as soon as your engagement ring took residence on its rightful finger. after ringing up the bill and abandoning your half-finished meals, the both of you find yourselves stumbling home to celebrate the beginning of forever. your movements are frenzied and fuelled by the high of your engagement as you make it over the threshold, hands tugging and tearing at the fancy clothes inconveniently in the way while your lips meet in passionate, ravenous kisses — your tongue running over nagi’s pearly white teeth as he pours hungry moans and love and adoration into you.

“sei—!” you whimper, soft and needy as your back hits the wall behind you. your newfound fiancé uses the entirety of his strength and height to lift you into his arms, wrapping your thighs around his slender waist whilst his hips pin you to the cold surface. lines between love and lust are quickly blurred when the heavy outline of nagi’s dick presses against the treasure hidden between your perfectly plush thighs — your dress pushed up just enough to reveal them to greedy cool-tone grey eyes. “seishiro…mph, i love you…”

“y’love me, angel?” the striker’s entire body trembles with pride at the way you call his name, keening into his closeness and the way that he towers over you. your fingers rake through his silvering hair, the band of your diamond ring icy on the back of his neck as you tug him even closer as though his proximity is not enough. “s’that why you’re gonna marry me? let me…fuck, let me have you forever?” nagi coos his sinfully words quietly, tucking his face into the alcove between your neck and shoulder — kiss swollen lips dragging over your heated flesh and fluffy white lashes fluttering against the spot as well. 

you’re so soft, so warm underneath him and nagi can hardly resist the siren’s call of your body — ripe and fresh for the taking, much like the fruit in adam and eve’s garden. he can’t help his innate desire to take you, and it’s just a little bit frustrating. 

his dick pulsates behind the layers of boxers and slacks, desperate to be sheathed within your silken walls. and in response, you clench around nagi’s tip through your thin cotton panties almost as if you’re coaxing him into making love to you. right here, right now. each time he drags his hips back and forth, slow and steady, against you, your thighs tighten their grip around his waist and your body twitches to life in seishiro’s hold. his chubby erection, leaky and hard, slides through your panty clad folds at your sensual bump and grind, only adding to your exertion. 

“‘m gonna keep you as mine...” blood rushes through seishiro’s ears and shoots through the rest of his lean body, carrying adrenaline and lust hormones via the red blood cells teaming under the surface of his skin. he needs you, he can hear how much you need him too. it’s evident in the way you gasp and mewl out for him — your own body following your fiancé’s lead. 

“uh huh, wanna be yours…” the tail end of your words fall away into a whistle tone whine, layering over the sound of a clinking belt and shuffling dress pants which give nagi the room to pull his girthy cock out. 

he noses his way up the side of your face, breathing growing erratic and unstable against your ear as he positions himself at your quivering entrance — sliding into you with very little resistance. “ngh…so t-tight, angel. can’t…can’t wait t’be the only one who gets to fuck you open for the rest of our lives.” seishiro sighs dreamily. his hips jut upwards, filling you up with his milky cock in one swift movement. you stretch around him deliciously, walls rippling around him to accommodate for his size — despite having been taken like this many times before. “don’t…don’t clench down on me like that. s’not fair, you’re gonna milk me ‘n we’ve barely fuck started.” 

the white haired player stutters with both his words and his hips — struggling to set a steady rhythm to the way he grinds into you. like that of a wet dog slipping into his rut. sometimes nagi thinks he’s being selfish, snapping a girl like you up and making you his for the keeping…but it’s times like this — where your cunt squeezes down on his seedy cockhead every time it pulls out of you — that nagi is reminded of his ego. the selfishness that’s been born into him with every play on the field and every precise, lax movement he makes to help you reach cloud nine. 

he can’t stop running his mouth, lustful and debauched gibberish slipping and sliding over his wet tongue as he builds up the momentum behind the forceful juts of his hips into yours. “unless that’s what you want, yeah pretty girl?” seishiro continues to grunt even when the length of his creamy cock slips out of you, running through your puffy folds. “f’me to knock you up… make you take all of my cum.”  your dainty fingers reach down between the slow rolls of your body to push him back in, sending a shudder down your fiancé’s spine. 

no matter how many times you touch him, fuck him, love him… he will never get used to having you wrapped around him like this. dripping so sweetly down his heavy balls. “make you even warmer in here… s’warm and wet all for me. ‘m so lucky. you’re so good.” 

a symphony of wet slaps from skin on skin echo throughout the hallway of your apartment — for every slothful plunge of nagi’s sloppy, seedy dick against your gooey and sensitive insides reverberates in the heated buzzing between your heated and temperate bodies. nagi, and all 190cm of him, curls over you protectively — lips tacked to yours as he chases your sluice, salacious pussy for more than you can give him. an impossible closeness that he craves now that you’ve agreed to marry him. 

it’s ungodly how much control you and the ring on your finger have over him — reducing the mighty, notoriously undefeatable striker to a drenched, sweaty and sex-driven mess. “i want you inside…” pressing his forehead to your own weakly, nagi’s white hair sticks to your skin and his hot, heaving breath coasts over your cherry-bitten cupid’s bow as you speak — dampening the surface. “need you to cum inside, sei. m-make me yours…please!” 

all the striker does is moan low and sexy in response, the husky sound sending thunder-strikes of dopamine across your loved-up brain. all he can think about is breeding you, stuffing you full with so much cum and so much of him that you can’t walk for days. impulsively his hips twitch upwards rapidly,  so fast that your eyes disappear into the dark depths of your skull and nagi’s cockhead bears down on that needy, spongy little spot inside of you. 

everything grows wetter, hotter and nastier. amidst your surprise from the uptick in your fiancé’s usually languid pace, your fingertips on your right hand sink into the broad expanse of his back while your left ( the one with the ring )  suddenly ensnares the colum of nagi’s throat — pulling him down so that your faves are only a breaths width apart. the cooler press of your engagement ban against his feverish skin only eggs him on, driving the pro soccer player to pursue the intoxicating squelch of your count around his thick base, a white mixture beginning to foam there from how vigorously you’re fucking each other.

nagi is loving and lazy, but greedy when it comes to you. he plans to be that way forever, if it means he can witness the look of delirium on your face whenever he has you fucked out like this. and you’re the same, a perfect match, bucking into him as though to match his strong pace — so that you both can see stars and reach new heights of insanity together. 

you’re overwhelmed, the both of you are. senses being worked into overdrive from the way nagi’s cock shines each time he pulls out of your snugg, wet sex to the way that your needy gripes and laments harmonise into the night. “g-god angel, ‘m gonna cum…g’na let go inside’a you…fill you up,” seishiro rambles in warning, losing his rhythm and tripping over his words. he could cream your cunt right now, selfishly reach his high before yours — but nagi loves you; loves the feel of your diamond engagement ring cutting into his cheek when you move to cup his face through the final moments. “spread your legs a little more f’me, ‘m gonna touch you…”

so instead, he pulls back the hood your clit with the hand on the arm that keeps you steady against the wall, and burns the letters of his name into the puffy nub. “‘hmygod, s-sei!” you squeal at the new found pleasure, groping at your man as your head falls back against the wall. it begins to creak under the pressure of sex, tinging nagi’s skin a soft pink while his dick throbs in the warm hug of your addictive walls. “‘m close!” 

“i-i know pretty thing, i know,” spreading the filthy mix of your arousals over your slit while he pumps in and out of you lewdly, nagi whimpers your name loud and proud. everything is so messy, so fucking raw, his shaft is doused in an opaque white that clings to the oretty blue veins spiralling around his cock while your mound seeps and weeps a wetness only he can bring out of you. “you gonna cum? you g’na cum f’me baby? drip d-down my cock…let me cum in you after?” the pitch of nagi’s moans rise in octave until they’re enough to rival your open-mouthed bleats. 

“y-yes! please sei, p-please!” fat droplets of precum and your juices along between your bodies and crudely drip to the floor, and it’s not long before the tickle at the base of your spine becomes a bright spark — your orgasm breaking dawn first. 

waves of your precious nectrar and liquid gold gush from your fluttering entrance before you even realise it — so fast it almost forces the white haired striker out of you. “y-yeah, yeah, yeah…fuck! that’s it angel, c-cum all over me…” nagi’s cock never relents, bullies it’s way through your blistering hot walls to nudge at  your g-spot all throughout the ordeal while the world of colours flashes behind your eyes. 

you’re such a good girl, you’ll be such a good wife — letting nagi use you and continue to canter into you until your rippling cunt push him over the edge into his own high. “c-cumming!” he gasps as if he’s taken a bullet to the chest, thrusting into you as if it’s the last thing he’ll ever do — intent on keeping you bred and full. seishrio’s load pours into you like a never ending stream of thick white, warm and viscous as it coats your mound copiously. painting you in his claim. 

he doesn’t budge even as you both fall back down to earth from your heavenly highs — making sure that not a drop of his cum is wasted on anything else except for you. a lazy giggle escapes you as your hand slinks down from nagi’s cheek to his plush lips, leaving a pink-ish (yet pain free) mark from your ring on his cheek. 

“i love you, sei,” you whisper in tired amusement as he kisses the ring on your finger.

seishiro hums happily, squeezing your thighs in his hold. “i love you back, forever ‘n always, angel.” 

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[lawchwan]

the man of my romance book (ace)

summary: just ace giving you the most mind-blowing sex requested: @weasleyjumpeer reader: fem!reader disclaimer: piv, references of stalking, reader wears glasses and reads books, squirting, very rushed, reader is slightly shorter than ace, confusing timeline wtf, references of cunnilingus, Ace is referenced to have a big dick (but nothing's explicit about it because it's about technique, not size), unprotected sex-reader might get pregnant uh oh!, manhandling, dirty talking, references of filming/recording, did i mention that it's lowkey rushed... i'm sorry genre: smut a/n: hi, hello... its been a minute... so i had multiple factors on why i disappeared, one being that i am a busy woman with a job, went through the loss of a dear family member and other factors I don't want to get into. furthermore, i had a draft ready for this, and i accidentally deleted it, which led to me losing my shit and motivation. but here i am rn, and i hope i don't disappoint thanks to my hiatus. I do sincerely apologize, however, to keep you waiting for three—almost four months. i hope you enjoy this piece :)

crossposted on ao3

The night bloomed with the moon's gleaming essence shining through the room as it highlighted the discarded clothes thrown due to the immense desperation and lust shared by the two individuals who had known each other not too long, yet not too short.

Ace has had his eyes on you for so long, his friends and crew were just mere muffled background sounds, as you were sat across his with a book laid in front of you on the other side of the cafe. His gaze juxtaposes admiration and lust, with your figure, your hair, your perfect skin, and your facial expressions when the little words on the stack of papers cause you to react subtly, he has been examining you.

Unbeknownst to him, you did catch up to his examination and tried your best to keep your attention away from him. But how could you? You would be lying if you said he wasn't candy to your eyes. Shirtless with tattoos painted all over his body, cowboy hat that concealed the greasy top of his long curly hair, manspreading with his arms splayed across the booth seat behind him and his crew, freckles that can be seen from afar that speckled across his face; he was the embodiment of the protagonist you would read in your dark romance.

His crew set sail on your island for a while and you would see him frequently, wherever you went, it was guaranteed that he'd be there, almost as if he was intentionally stalking you and knew where you were going.

Still, though, you kept your eyes on your book, not giving him the satisfaction of providing him the attention he sought and instead hoping he could grow the courage to come over and ask for a date, or a good fuck.

Ace suddenly stood up, eyes still glued to you, causing his crew to look up at him curiously, as he moved out of his seat and walked over to you, almost like you've entranced him to come over without looking at him.

You sensed a tall presence looming in front of you, resulting you in getting out of the reading world and going back to reality to meet with the fine man standing in front of him. You two held eye contact, almost like you’ve unintentionally entered a staring contest, waiting for one of you to speak. Ace gaped his mouth, wanting to say something but his voice failed him as it cracked, making him clear his throat and scratch his neck, his flustered pink tones radiated up to the surface of his tan skin. You began laughing as you covered your mouth, making Ace’s skin crawl in embarrassment.

“God dammit, I fucked up,” Ace thought to himself, nerves getting the best of him. He should have walked away and faced the music of mockery from his crew, but what he didn’t expect was you extending your hand, signaling him to sit while you pushed the seat away with your foot.

Ace looked down at the chair and then back at you, bemused like a dog getting a new command from its owner, before sitting down while you simply closed the book and put it in your bookbag. You smiled at him as Ace nervously tried to recollect himself.

“Sorry, I am not usually one to stumble on my words… or go through a second puberty,” He muttered the last sentence, in an attempt to make it incoherent for you, yet you heard him loud and clear, making you chuckle in response.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, besides, I think that voice crack was adorable,” You teased, making Ace scoff back at you. You got closer, placing your arms on the table, extending your arm for a handshake, making Ace look down at the hand then back up at your beautiful yet alluring smile.

“I’m (Y/N)”

The curly-haired pirate reached out and shook your hand back, mirroring your grin.

“I’m Ace, but I guess you know that already, since y’know…” He shifted his eyes and cocked his head, which you nodded back as you scrunched your face with a smile as you found him endearing right then and there, pirate or no pirate, he was adorable.

—

Adorable.

Time passed and you once thought he was adorable, and he was, but you assumed he was a nervous wreck with a deceiving look. You certainly didn’t mind breaking his shell, but he certainly exceeded your expectations when he slowly leaned in to kiss you when he wanted to drop you off from your guys’ date. You were astonished by how good his lips were on yours, for a nervous fellow, he sure kisses like he isn’t. When he pulled away, your lips were chasing after his, causing him to smirk as he held your chin firmly, almost like he caught you underestimating him.

“I can do more if you want to, but I’ll save it for another time…” He husked his voice, as he teasingly leaned in, running his thumb across your bottom lips before he leaned back and walked away backward.

“Good night, babe,” His departure almost felt like a mixture of goading yet exhilarating anticipation of what’s to come the next time you see him.

He might be the death of you.

—

Some more time has passed and the term “adorable” is not a word you would give at the moment when he has you wrapping your legs around his hips as he carries you to your bedroom with his lips attached to yours with sheer fervor. As soon as you mentioned that you lived alone, Ace jumped at the opportunity to get closer to you however he wanted. It was a risky move from your end, letting know a man you knew.

He has you where he wanted you to be as you are to his. You gripped the back of his neck and tugged on the hairs revealed from his cowboy hat. With the feverish atmosphere, his hat was tipped back to his back as he pushed you onto a wall and began his attack on your neck. You gasped a beautiful sound that Ace intentionally tried to extract as he nipped on the sweet spot by your neck, making you throw your head back as you began to let out breathy moans.

Ace pulled back and looked down at you, his freckled face was flushed with desire while his eyes had lust and plead shown between his bangs as he pants.

“Where’s your bedroom?” Ace whispered, lips still close to yours and his thirst was quenching the more he looked at you in your most lustful state. You told him where it was through your huffed tone and he didn’t hesitate to carry you into the bedroom before he threw you into the bed with such strength.

He carried you and threw you onto the mattress like you weighed nothing—it seemed as though his muscular physique was not for show after all. You were astonished by his roughhousing, yet he left you no room to react as he pinned you down onto the bed, his large hands encapsulating your wrists with his lips remaining attached to your lips. Your breaths were shaken with anticipation as his lips began their exploration across your soft skin. He tongued from your jaw down to your collarbone, while his calloused fingers reached for the hem of your shirt and began lifting it to expose any skin. With your shirt out of the way, his lips began attacking your body again, this time he began grazing his teeth around the soft skin of your breasts, just above your bra line. You arched your back to allow room for him to reach around and remove your bralette, only for him to pull away, hold onto the fabric, and begin ripping it from the center, leaving the piece ripped in half. You gasped at the sudden motion while he just groaned at the sight of you sprawled half-naked with eyes wide and blown with desire.

“Oh, fuck, baby…” He growled, before reaching down again and began open mouth kissing your supple breasts, making you whine at the exhilarating sensation of his warm mouth around your nipple.

“Ace…~” You breathed with hooded eyes as Ace roamed lower with his hands following along, goosebumps arising from your skin.  Ace didn’t respond immediately instead he just smirked looking up at you teasingly as he nipped at your mound.

“Hold on, baby… we’ll be here all night, I just want to give this sweet…” Ace paused looking down at your breasts again and began kissing the side of it and massaging it before leaning onto the other breasts to give it the same attention, “Breasts of yours some love… you’ll let me right?”

—

And some love your breast was given by him, and he meant it.

And many more, as time passed and Ace showed no sign of stopping. His gapped and moaning mouth was covered with nothing but your sweet nectar while his rough hands were gripping your hips as he was thrusting into you at such a pace no man could maintain. His hair fell forward while his necklace swayed along with the beat of his thrusts. Your legs spread as you began screaming out his name while the tip hit a pleasurable spot you never thought existed, a promise that Ace had mentioned while he was getting ready to eat you out.

“I’ll make sure your neighbors know of me as the guy who fucks you good instead of a criminal, no good pirate,” he chuckles darkly as he placed himself between your legs, face inches away from your glistening pussy, “I know you like that shit, I know girls like you would love to be fucked by pirates who do nothing but wreak havoc, am I right, pretty girl? Tell me I’m right because I know I am…”

And Ace maintained that promise as you attempted to cover your face with a pillow due to the volume you were producing thanks to Ace’s rough yet pleasurable thrusts, only for him to chuck the pillow across the room with such aggression and grounds your wrist onto the mattress, leaving you no room to wiggle yourself away.

“No, no, baby, I need to hear you, I need to hear you become a mess for me.” Ace gritted his teeth as he groaned out strings of curse words while you were calling out his name like a prayer.

“Oo~ Ace~ Fuck yes!” You whimpered as the heated sensation was enflaming your insides—a funny correlation with having fire fist Ace ramming his hard cock into your pussy. A pussy that craved nothing but a specific type of pleasure that only a man like Ace can achieve, a one-of-a-kind man, and Ace knew of that and he relishes the fact that your body craves him and him only.

Even though you two don’t know each other for long, you gave him a sense of confidence no girl ever gave him. He knows he’s a good lover, but you made him a lover that a pornstar would envy to have. Especially with how you were writhing underneath him, whimpering out begs and his name.

Ace…

Ace…

Oo fuck me, Ace~

Sounds like he would love to have recorded, it’s a shame he left his den den mushi somewhere in the apartment and a camera back on the ship, he would have used it to his advantage.

The sounds of squelching skin-to-skin sounds, dubbed with your combined moans of pleasure were music to Ace’s ears, especially with how you were approaching your orgasm.

“I’m—fuck—I’m coming!” You whined out as your moans started to border onto panting, making Ace hit a deeper spot as he tried to keep with your pace. He nodded with a smirk as he panted out, “Same here, baby… come on, come for me and I’ll come for you…”

And with those words, you arched your back as Ace sent you to a space where you could only see white with how you rolled your eyes, thanks to the overwhelming pleasure he had put you through. Ace nearly fell on top of you as he landed on your shoulder, biting onto it as he came inside of you. After the two of you began catching your breaths, Ace pulled away to look at you before he placed his forehead and gave you strings of passionate kisses.

He pulled away, not after you bit his bottom lip to bring him back close to you, making him chuckle. You smiled up at him shyly as he just looked at you with such glamor and adoration.

“Wow… no one has ever fucked me like this…” You whispered, making Ace snort out a laugh as he shook his head, “You thought it was over?” Ace responded with a menacing smile on his face.

You widened your eyes, he fucked you this good, and there’s still more?

Your shock state unsettled Ace, his smirk dropped due to the lack of response, “unless you want us to stop—”

“No!” You exclaimed, making Ace flinch and you tight-lipped your mouth shut after you made a fool of yourself. Thankfully, Ace only chuckled and kissed your lips, the intention undetected yet the ardent intensity was present.

“You’re so cute,” Ace comments after pulling away from the kiss. He pulls himself up, only to look down at the scenery below him with a gasped delight. Your eyes followed his, and there you saw was a puddle of your essence staining your bedsheet, mixing with Ace’s pearly cum that fell out your pollen.

You gasped as you felt a rush of embarrassment coursing through you, yet you oddly had no sense of shame in your system. You looked up at Ace, shyly, hoping he doesn’t give you a reason to feel otherwise. Thankfully he leaned in again with another feverish kiss, before pulling back with a smirk, lips barely touching.

“Want us to create more of a mess in the shower? The floor? Or more on the bed? Anything you want, baby, because I’m not done…”

And you hoped it wouldn’t end anytime soon…

characters are owned by oda. i will not tolerate nor accept translation, reposts on other websites, or plagiarism. divider made by mmadeinheavenn.

[foolinafable]

man i love ur fics smsm keith kogane 🔛 🔝

Thanks, here's a gift to show my appreciation!

Home is where you are

SYNOPSIS: You have finally returned to earth, but is it still home? PAIRING: Keith x reader

–

You thought you would feel more. This was the place you dreamt of every night while in space, the thought of one day coming back being what motivated you to keep going. But now that you're actually home, you feel nothing. A void replaced what relief, joy and tears you’d expected when your feet hit the tarmac of the garrison. You thought that after saving them from Sendek, it would change, that you were simply too worried to be happy, but now that Earth was safe from him and the prospect of leaving again to finish the job off appeared, you still felt nothing. Your bleeding heart seems to have clotted over.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Keith slowly made his way towards you, words quiet as if to not startle

“Don’t think that's the currency anymore” Shrugging your shoulders, unsure, he smiled in reply, something he had been doing more recently, as he manoeuvred into the space next to you, eyes daring for a comment when he shuffled close enough for your arms and thighs to touch 

“Don’t be coy”, he nudged your shoulder when it became clear you weren't going to look back at him “You understood the sentiment” 

You nodded “I did” it almost wasn't fair how mature he had become, being a leader does that to people

“So tell me what’s wrong and don’t say nothing because we both know that's a lie” You bit your lip in contemplation, leg furthest away from Keith shaking slightly, still trying not to meet his eyes, knowing that you’d lose any resolve left if you did

“I thought..” you finally met his gaze, eyebrows furrowed “I don’t know what I thought”, words barely above a whisper 

“I know it’s different from what we believed it would be, coming home. I don’t think anyone could have imagined coming back to a war and having to leave again so soon after, it’s not fair” his hand reached out to your shaking limb, stroking despite the awkward angle

“That’s not it” you admitted voice barely above a mumble

“It’s not?” he asked, shuffling around to try and find a more comfortable position, not once removing his hand from your shaking thigh

“No…” you trailed off, trying to gain some semblance of courage “If anything, I can’t wait to go, maybe distance will make the heart go fonder or, in this case, grow some fondness within me for this place”, you gestured to the space “Because this, our home, it just doesn't feel that way anymore”

“Feel like what?” Keith pressed his lips together in thought, clearly not following 

“Home” you admitted teeth pulling at bruised lips, pulling his hand away from your now steady legs so he could once again sit normally instead letting him continue his ministrations on your hand. 

“I get it” he admitted and you smiled, happy to not be alone in this feeling “I’ve not got much to miss when away from Earth. Everyone I care about is coming with me” You looked at him then, meeting his soft stare “I mean that’s what a home really is, the people”

You squeezed his hand “You're right”, scoffing at the look on his face “What?” 

“Never thought I'd see the day” he smiled, cheeky 

“Oh shush”, you laughed, missing the way his entire demeanour brightened at the sound “Maybe it wasn't really earth that I was missing”, you admitted, a new hypothesis coming to light in your mind “I mean, the homesickness only really started around the time of the Voltron shows, I just thought I was missing earth because lance said he felt the same, missing the oceans and the sky but maybe I was just missing you” 

“You think” he teases

“I mean, it makes sense, I felt a lot better on the journey back to earth and my lack of care for leaving and even being here. I guess Earth is not really my home, you are” You try to look away, somewhat embarrassed, but Keith doesn't let you, hand quickly grabbing at your jaw and pulling your face close to his, he kisses you softly, only for a moment before moving away a mischievous look in his eyes

“Well then technically you were homesick” he confirms

“I guess I was”, you admit, letting him win.

[canisalbus]

Salutations! I hope you are having a wonderful day, and/or night. I feel sheepish to ask, since I feel it might be a silly question, but do you have any tips for how to get over anxiety about posting artwork? Especially when first starting out posting, and having the feeling of nobody liking it. And then having the slow wait and the uncomfortable moments where you want to delete whatever you posted. This might be a loaded question, and I apologize once again, but I thought it was worth asking, since you have talked about having anxiety about such things before. It's something I'm having to tackle at the moment, and thought to ask about. You are always very mindful about things, so I just wanted to know if you had anything to say. Once again, thank you for your time. You're an amazing person, and have an amazing week. 🖤🖤🖤

Hi! I'm flattered you value my thoughts enough to ask! I'm not very good at giving advice but I can try. I'm only speaking for myself and how I look at these things, so don't treat this as universal truth or a big motivational speech or anything.

But yes, I know exactly what you mean, the feeling of anxiety and awkwardness about posting art. Finally collecting the courage to do it and then being hit with a wave of self-consciousness and a visceral urge to delete it. I don't think I have any quick and practical tips for overcoming it, I'm afraid.

I'd encourage you to try to avoid deleting your art posts, even if it feels bad looking at them. Working hard on something and seeing that it isn't getting the response you hoped for hurts, understandably so. But you have to keep in mind that building a gallery, finding mutuals and attracting an "audience" is a slow process, it takes time for the right people to find you. If you keep removing stuff those people will never have the chance to connect with your work. Imagine them coming across your account, stopping to look around briefly, seeing that there's not much to see and leaving. If you have more artwork to show (even if some of it is not perfect), you may be able to hold their attention longer, and they might follow you because they have a reason to believe you will make more.

If it gets truly unbearable, you always have the option to go back and delete the post that's causing you anxiety. It's your art and your account, your choice and your right to do that. But doing it regularly can turn into self-sabotage quickly, and prevent you from getting past the uncomfortable entry level.

It gets easier over time. You build a tolerance for that uneasy, exposed feeling. I know everyone says this and it's practically impossible to do in reality, but try not to get discouraged by numbers. They don't determine the value of your work or the level of your skill. Don't think "nobody likes this", think "the people who would like this haven't seen it".

Virality is often short lived and disloyal, don't compare yourself to hit posts. People who get famous overnight lose the majority of their following as soon as their fans find the next cool thing. Focus on the people who are actually invested in what you make long-term. It sounds cliche, but a comment or string of thoughtful tags will most certainly motivate and inspire you more than any number of anonymous likes.

Try to be patient, engage with people who have similar interests as you to build a meaningful online circle that you enjoy sharing things with, and do your best to learn to love your art more than the amount of notes it gets.

[danikamariewrites]

Falling

Cassian x reader

Note: sorry for my absence, I’ve been busy and unmotivated the last weeks. I don’t like to talk about politics but I want you all to know that I’m very unhappy with the election and it’s upset me. I really have nothing else to say because quite frankly im speechless. Know that my blog is a safe space and you can reach out to me any time if you want to vent because I will vent right there with you.

On a slightly better note, this has motivated me to keep being creative. Writing and being in a creative space has truly kept me going over the last few years and I refuse to stop. Mainly because if I stop I think I’ll just give up. And I’m not fucking giving up because this has been the best distraction. Sorry for the long note but I just wanted to get that out there and know you’re not alone in your frustration. ❤️

Warnings: some angst

Cassian was exhausted. He knew he was when he looked into your bright eyes as you excitedly waited for him to pick you up to fly home and couldn’t bring himself to lift you.

His mind wasn’t in the right place to enjoy the closeness of you in his arms. You always deserved him at a hundred percent, especially when your life was in his hands. Not while he was still actively thinking about Devlon getting in his face about their disagreement.

Even now, only minutes away from home, Cassian was still clenching his jaw, ruminating about the words Devlon spat at him.

Cassian was pissed that Devlon ruined his day. He had big plans for you that included a dinner reservation and him finally telling you how he feels about you. Only took him two years to gain the courage to decide he would tell you how in love with you he is. And now he’s too in his head to even fathom saying “I’m in love with you y/n.”

Azriel flying next to him with you in his arms wasn’t helping his mood either. Every time he heard you and Az talk or laugh his jealousy grew. It was his own fault though.

Flying over the Sidra the House of Wind finally comes into view. The monstrous house on the cliff had relief flowing through Cassian. Almost home, Cassian tells himself over and over.

Looking over at you and Azriel he sees a smile bloom on your face as you look down at the glittering water, you point out the fish jumping from the surface, making ripples that you can see from way up in the sky. The sight of your joy eases Cassian’s anger.

A gust of wind hits them hard enough to knock Az and Cass off balance. Without your added weight Cassian has no problem balancing himself out, controlling his wings on instinct.

Your scream has him pivoting against the gust, whipping his head in time to see Az lose balance as you tumble from his arms.

Azriel tries to dive but the wind fights against his wings. Cassian wastes no time to dive for you. Tucking his wings in as tight as he possibly can, he free falls with his hands reaching out for you.

You don’t stop screaming until Cassian grabs on to you, pulling you flush to his chest. You cling to Cassian, wrapping your arms tight around his neck.

“I got you,” he murmurs in your ear. “I got you, baby, it’s okay.”

Without looking back at Azriel he flys hard for the House. Cassian should check on his brother, he feels guilty not doing so. But the love of his life just tumbled from his brother's arms and he couldn’t care less if Az was in the Sidra right now or behind him.

Landing on the balcony closest to the bedrooms Cassian readjusts you in his hold. He can feel you trembling as he rushes to get you in a comfortable place.

Cassian kicks your door hard, rushing over to your bed. Gently placing you down he pulls away to see you staring off, a blank look on your face and teeth digging into your bottom lip.

He backs away to get you a change of clothes until you grip his arms tighter, letting out a small whimper. “Don’t,” you plead. Cassian wraps you in his arms, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

The two of you sit like that for a long, long time. Once your trembling stops you slightly lean away from Cassian, shaking out your arms and rolling your neck.

His heart breaks at the sight of fear still lingering in your eyes. Cassian slowly brings his hands up to gently cup your face, resting his forehead against yours. “You’re ok, you’re safe. That’s all that matters.” You nod, molding yourself into Cassian’s body.

“Thank you for catching me.” You whisper. Cassian squeezes you tighter to his chest. “I’ll always catch you, y/n. Always.” The fierceness in his tone sends a chill down your spine.

You won’t let Cassian leave you, even long after the sun sets. The only time Cass left was to get you dinner and to change into his pajamas. Once you’re asleep Cassian can’t find it in himself to leave you.

Tomorrow, he decided. Cassian will tell you everything tomorrow.

[bloomzone]

2025 : #21 Hope.

✒️..hope. It’s something we all talk about, we all need, and yet, we seldom understand in its full depth. We hear phrases like “Keep hoping,” or “Don’t lose hope,” but what does hope truly mean, and why is it so vital to our well-being?

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪs ʜᴏᴘᴇ?

Hope is more than just wishful thinking . It’s not simply wishing that things will get better without any effort. True hope is the belief that a better future is not only possible, but within reach. It’s the feeling that even in the darkest moments , there is potential for light to shine through (we often see this in sad dramatic moment or anime lmao ). Hope is both an emotional state and a cognitive mindset that enables us to see beyond present circumstances, empowering us to take action towards a brighter tomorrow it's not motivation ! There is a diff ! (motivation is the drive to act and hope is the belief in possibility ) so It’s the force that keeps us going when life feels overwhelming, the quiet but persistent whisper that says, “You can do this, just keep going.”

Unlike optimism too , which is the general expectation that things will improve, hope involves a more active, personal belief in the possibility of change. It’s rooted in the understanding that our choices matter, that our actions can lead us to a better outcome, and that we are not at the mercy of fate alone.

ʜᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ɪs ʙᴜɪʟᴛ

Hope is not something we are born with . It is something we learn and develop over time. It is cultivated through experience, through resilience, and through the belief that no setback is final. Just like any other muscle in the body, the more we exercise hope, the stronger it becomes. It’s built in the small moments when we face challenges and choose not to give up, when we take that next step even though we don’t have all the answers, when we look at a failure as a lesson and not a limitation.

It is fostered by connection. Having supportive relationships, where we feel understood and encouraged, helps build our belief in a positive future. Hope grows when we see others overcome difficulties and when we learn from those who have faced hardship and emerged stronger. In this sense, hope is contagious when we see someone else hold on to hope, it reminds us that we can too .

But most importantly, hope is built through action. It’s easy to feel hopeless when we are stuck in a state of passivity. When we take deliberate steps forward, even in small ways, we send a message to ourselves that we are capable of making progress, no matter how incremental. And with each small success, hope is reaffirmed.

ᴡʜʏ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʜᴏᴘᴇ

Hope is the antidote to despair frrr It gives us a reason to get out of bed in the morning, even when the weight of the world seems too much to bear. Without hope, we can easily fall into apathy or worse, depression. It is hope that helps us find meaning in our struggles, to see them as part of a larger journey rather than insurmountable obstacles. It is also crucial for mental health. Hope has been shown that individuals who cultivate hope are more likely to bounce back from setbacks, maintain a positive outlook, and experience better overall well-being. It is linked to resilience because when we have hope, we believe that we can navigate difficulties and emerge on the other side, stronger and more capable. is essential for personal growth. It fuels ambition and provides us with the courage to dream beyond our current limitations.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴀ ʜᴏᴘᴇғᴜʟ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴠs. ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴀ ʜᴏᴘᴇʟᴇss ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ

The difference between a hopeful person and a hopeless one is in the way they perceive the world. A hopeful person sees opportunities in challenges. They look at a difficult situation and ask, “What can I learn from this? How can I grow from this experience?” They understand that setbacks are temporary, and that their present situation does not define their future. Their mindset is one of possibility, of determination, and of a belief that they can influence their outcomes through effort and perseverance.

On the other hand, a hopeless person sees only limitations. They view challenges as insurmountable obstacles, and they feel powerless in the face of adversity. When things don’t go as planned, a hopeless individual may become paralyzed by fear or despair, believing that nothing they do will change their circumstances. The hopeless mind is often stuck in a cycle of negativity, where every setback is seen as proof that things will never improve. This mindset becomes self-fulfilling: the more they believe things won’t get better, the less they take action to change them.

✒️.It’s important to note that hope is not about denying reality. It’s not about wearing heart glasses or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It’s about seeing beyond the present difficulties and understanding that change is possible. A hopeful person acknowledges challenges but believes they have the strength to overcome them like when u pass a final test and u have hope to pass the final test of next semester even u have to face the same difficult but u have "hope" to pass again

ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴜʟᴛɪᴠᴀᴛᴇ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴǫᴜᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀʀʀɪᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ ɪᴛ

The good news is that hope is something we can cultivate, no matter where we are in life. It doesn’t require an innate ability or perfect circumstances. It requires intentional effort and a mindset shift.

To start, one of the most important things we can do is to ..

change our language

ur monologue intérieur bro need a mise à jour 🦅 . We must stop using words like “I can’t” or “It’s impossible” and instead adopt language that opens up possibilities. Even if you’re unsure about the outcome, saying “I’ll try” or “I can figure this out” signals to your brain that you are not giving up, that you are willing to take action despite uncertainty.

setting small, achievable goals.

Hope thrives when we experience progress, no matter how small. When we accomplish even the tiniest task, it reinforces the belief that we can make a difference, that our actions matter. This sense of achievement builds momentum, turning hope into a habit.

Surround yourself with inspiring stories

NGL I do this all the time when I feel hopeless. listening , read , or watch stories of individuals who have overcome adversity can be a powerful source of hope. These stories show you that no matter how dire the situation seems, it’s possible to rise above it. They can inspire you to believe that you too have the strength to get through tough times.

Surround ourselves with people who uplift and encourage us.

Hope is contagious, and when we are surrounded by individuals who believe in us and in the possibilities of the future, it becomes easier for us to believe the same. Our environment plays a significant role in shaping our mindset.

Find Purpose in Your Struggles

One of the most powerful ways to build hope is by finding meaning in your struggles. When you view challenges as opportunities for growth or as stepping stones to something greater, you begin to see them as part of your journey rather than obstacles. This shift in perspective can help foster a deeper sense of hope and resilience.

Reconnect with Your Core Values

Hope is strongest when you are deeply connected to your core values. When you live in alignment with what truly matters to you, even in challenging times, hope becomes a natural part of your life. Reconnecting with your values reinforces your sense of purpose and reminds you of the bigger picture, which can fuel your drive for the future.

Set and Focus on Bold Goals

Hope is driven by vision. Having a clear, compelling vision for your future helps you move forward with purpose, even when the journey is tough. The more you envision your future and set bold, exciting goals, the more hope you generate for what’s possible. It’s about seeing a brighter future and actively working toward it. For example u want to be a doctor and when u face struggles in ur study .. remind urself of the goal to keep going

💁🏻‍♀️: Set long-term and short-term goals that align with your vision for your life. Write them down, break them into manageable steps, and celebrate progress along the way. The clarity that comes from goal-setting provides a roadmap for hope.

Hope It’s the thread that connects us to a brighter, better tomorrow, even when today feels heavy. Hope is the fuel that powers our dreams, propels us through adversity, and reminds us that no matter how difficult the road may be, there is always a way forward.we can create a life that is not only full of potential but rich with possibility. Because when we hold onto hope, we hold onto the belief that no matter what happens, there is always something to look forward to.good luck 🍀

@bloomzone

[wallpaperflower92]

Irondad fic prompt #1

ok so I’ve had this idea in my head for years and while I would love to write it myself, I have no motivation and even less time to do so😭

that being said, if someone wants my sub par irondad fic idea, please feel free to use it and tag me so I can read :3 or if this already exists plspls tag me on that

Prompt:

a hydra based fic

basically where Tony and Peter are chilling doing their thing being father-son goblins and whatnot

and then Harley keener shows up out of nowhere to rekindle his friendship with Tony

Harley says he’s gonna be in New York for a while so tony invites him to stay with him and Peter and whoever else is in the tower

and Harley agrees

as time goes by, Peter spends some time around Harley

and he doesn’t know why but something is just off about this kid

like every time he’s around Harley, his spider sense is just buzzing

but Peter honestly wants to be friends with Harley, so he chalks it up to him being jealous (jealous of this new kid who looks exactly like Peter, is smart, and has known Tony for longer, who Tony probably likes more)

but as time goes on, his spider sense gets more and more intense, and he starts noticing Harley acting shady and sneaking around

he eventually works up the courage to bring it up to Tony

and Tony kinda believes him? Peter didn’t have any solid proof, but Tony’s not one to doubt his kid or say he’s lying, so he says he’ll keep an eye on it

and he stays true to his promise, but becomes more and more doubtful cuz Harley seems perfectly innocent

until one day Peter’s spider sense goes bonkers, so he does some recon

he’s in the vents or something and watches as Harley goes around messing with and changing security procedures

and he’s like wtf?? cuz it’s not outright villainous behavior but it’s definitely fishy

so Peter follows him around for a while and as Harley is seemingly finishing up, he mutters “everything is ready to go” or something

and Peter’s like uh oh that can’t be good

but luckily he made sure FRIDAY was recording everything so he could have proof to show Tony

so he rushes to the lab to see what all she picked up

and as he’s downloading what he needs to a usb or something his spider sense like.. explodes

and he’s like oh hell no what’s goin awnnnn

so he rushes back up to the penthouse where everyone was at, only to find the tower on lockdown

and he has his oh shit moment where he realizes Harley hacked all the security codes so he could trap all the avengers in one room

so he suits up to go help and scales his sticky self all the way up to the penthouse and slips in through a vent or something (thanks Clint)

and as he’s stealthily making his way there, he starts hearing this faint beeping sound

and it gets slightly louder as he reaches the locked penthouse area

and he has his second, very large oh shit moment when he realized that beeping sound is a bomb that’s ticking down

but of course only he can hear it, so he has to go kinda ape shit and use all his strength to get through the HEAVILY reinforced walls of the tower

after doing the impossible, he busts in to the penthouse to find everyone just like.. chillin

and Tony is like “…you good spider-man??”

and Harley is like, “yeah, you good spidey?”

Peter just looks to Harley and his spider sense goes haywire

and then Harley gets this sly grin on his face because he knows that Peter knows

so Peter just- loses it and pounces on Harley and starts kicking his ass and yelling “WHERE IS IT? WHERE DID YOU HIDE IT?”

but the avengers think Peter is just jumping this random kid so they step in to get Peter off of Harley

and it takes like 4 avengers to hold him back cuz of course

meanwhile Peter is just seething with anger and clawing to get out and yelling at Harley

tony is trying to calm him down and ask him what’s going on and Peter manages to get out that Harley planted a boom boom somewhere

and the avengers are all like “are you crazy kid?? of course he didn’t do that have you lost your marbles-”

but since Tony knows his kid better than any of them, he turns to Harley and is like “is this true?”

and then Harley proceeds to go on his villain monologue- how Tony ‘left him for nothing’, how he was all alone, yada yada

but most importantly, how hydra found him, gave him a purpose, and gave him a mission: to kill the avengers

and while he’s yapping he gives a hint to where the bomb is so Peter takes off to go disarm it while the others apprehend Harley

so peter uses his super duper hearing to find the bomb (meanwhile Tony is screaming in his comm to come back, let the adults handle it, and other worried dad™️ sayings)

but Peter knows he’s the only one who can do this, so he shuts off his comm and gets to work

and he does it!! he almost poops his pants but he disarms the bomb in the nick of time

all the avengers are safe, the tower is safe, and the day is won!

Harley is taken to the raft

cue a very angry/worried irondad lecturing his spiderson for being reckless but nonetheless praising him for his bravery and apologizing he didn’t do more when Peter first mentioned it

double cue some fluffy heart to heart moments cuz I’m a sucker for that stuff

and boom! that’s the fic!!

I wanna say that in no way do I hate Harley!! I just thought making him a hydra agent was a different take on his character that I could have fun with

so yea if you like this idea and decide to write about it (or put your own spin on it), please please tag me!! I’d love to read anything you have to offer

⎊ more to come soon. goodbye for now my lovelies!! ⎊

[helluvabinge]

Ok, but let’s talk about the fact that they can’t hear each other, because that means that everything they are saying is either internal monologue or things they wish they could say to each other, but these thoughts are independent from what the other person is saying.

So let’s split them up.

Stolas:

Why am I throwing my freedom away for this idiot? I would rather be dead than live life without you by my side. So if it keeps you alive…I am the mastermind, the master of my fate. Sure as the stars have shined, I’ll give my life to clean your slate. You’re my light. Only death can rend our love apart

Stolas’s motivations are the focus of the song, so there’s not a lot of surprising stuff here, but let’s break it down.

Stolas is definitely acting on a whim here. He only has seconds to come up with a plan based on very limited information about what the court knows (remember, he didn’t see any of the trial, just the announcement of the execution). He makes a decision that may be a bit brash and he definitely hasn’t thought it through, but the song gives him a moment to reflect. What am I doing? I am so frustrated and heartbroken by what this man has done. Why am I throwing my life away for him?

And of course, there’s a very simple reason. Stolas loves Blitz. He loves him so much that he can’t imagine a world where Blitz is completely gone. Despite his recent heartbreak, there’s still hope that they’ll find their way back to each other, however distant that is. Blitz’s death would be the end of that hope, and Stolas would rather give his own life rather than lose that tiny hope.

He reaffirms that he is the master of his fate. He is doing what Blitz has always given him the courage to do. He makes a decision for himself, based on his own wants and his own happiness. He chooses his fate, rather than letting others decide it for him. He can do this one good thing, this one redemptive action for this mess that he has made. He can clean Blitz’s slate and take his place.

Stolas’s fate up to now has been to watch distant lights and divine prophecy from them, but Blitz is his light, warm and present. He’s the only future Stolas wants, the future he gets to chose rather than one that is chosen for him. How could anything but death come between that love?

On the other side…

Blitz:

What have you done? I can’t live life without you by my side. What are you doing? I don’t deserve this! I realized too late. Don’t give your life to clean my slate. You’re my heart. Only death can rend our love apart.

Blitz’s vocals echo Stolas’s, but I think they reveal even more when taken on their own.

Blitz is just starting to realize what Stolas’s plan is. As it dawns on him, he starts to panic. Like Stolas, Blitz knew prior to the trial that their relationship was likely irreparably damaged and that they were definitely not getting back together. But also like Stolas, he had that tiny distant hope that maybe they could find their way back to each other. He doesn’t want to go on without Stolas by his side. He genuinely loves him and the thought of being without him has been heartbreaking. The thought that it could be permanent is unbearable.

And of course, Blitz’s self worth issues rear their ugly head as he begs Stolas to stop. What are you doing? I don’t deserve this! I’m not worth this. I’m a piece of shit. I have hurt so many people, including you. Why would you give your life for me? I did this, and so much worse. Why are you taking my punishment?

(He also says he realized too late, but it’s unclear if he’s referring to his feelings or that he realized Stolas’s plan too late to stop him. I don’t know. Let me know what you guys think.)

He pleads with Stolas, his heart, the person who finally made him want to feel, to be a better person not just for Stolas, but for all the people in his life. Stolas is his heart, and he will love that stuck up horny owl (affectionate) until the day he dies.

I love that they twined these lines together, as it does a great job of showing their relationship dynamic of constantly talking past each other. Even in this moment when they are in perfect sync, they have no idea how much the other’s feelings mirror their own.

Anyway, I love this song and I’m going to go listen to it again.

[sunflwrrw]

Salvaged Souls - one

A/N: Hello everyone! This has been an idea of mine for a while now, I just haven't been motivated to write it. But here it is, I hope you enjoy. This is based off the TV Show version of The Last of Us, Episode 8 and beyond. I try to follow the story (plus my own twists to it).

=================

CHAPTER ONE

"Revelation 21: And I saw a new heaven and a new Earth. For the first heaven and the first Earth were passed away. And I heard a great voice out of heaven say, 'Behold..."

I hear his steps start to come closer, but my eyes are focused on the tips of my covered toes on the floor, avoiding the creepily stare burning on the top of my head.

"-the tabernacle of God is with men. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes."

Sniffles are heard from across the room and immediately David's focus was away for now, as his concerns are for the young girl not being able to hold in her tears. Another life lost. Overheard from a few people about him being killed, either by infected or raiders. There wasn't much information about what happened, they have been keeping it hushed. I hear others comfort her in the distance and his footsteps are now getting quieter and further away.

Finally having enough courage to look up knowing the coast is clear to see David standing across the table from her, him taking off his glasses and sighs,

"I've read this passage too many times," then seeing him going over to the young girl side, kneeling down to her, "Do you remember what comes next?"

The girl shakes her head 'no', then he continues, "And God will wipe away all tears from their eyes, that there will be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither will there be any more pain for the former things are passed away. Do you know what that means?"

Then she nods her head yes. The way his hand rests on her shoulder might seem comforting to everyone else, but a chill went down my spine, knowing very well what he was capable of.

"When can we bury him?" she asks. Poor girl, if only she knew.

David quickly composes himself after finding James' eyes then back to the girl, "The ground is too cold to dig. We'll bury your father in the spring."

The feeling of burning acid starts to come up my throat, but I'm able to keep it down. If there was something I was able to do, to expose him, to give that girl a chance to bury her father properly, especially after the way he went. But after my outburst last time, I learn to keep still, not say a word. The bruises on my ribs are finally not aching anymore. His eyes find mine at last, sending me a stare I knew better than to retaliate against.

'Just keep to yourself, you can survive this' my mind thinks. But for how much longer? Being a part of this group for roughly a year now. At first was not bad. David took me in, praising his thoughts on God and our true purpose during these dark times. I never grew up in a religious setting myself, but I was willing to adapt. They gave me a roof over my head, food on the table, a sense of somewhat normality. Thought, maybe I do have a purpose, can start new. But after a while, there was an uneasy feeling in my stomach, like all of this was too good to be true.

Sure, I knew David had some sort of attraction towards me, was at first harmless. I was willing to go along with it because what else could I lose at this point? I didn't have anyone else. Maybe it was desperation but during these times, really what else was I supposed to do? But I started becoming skeptical a few months back when he became more secretive with his buddies, people slowly disappearing one by one, how even if there were no animals in sight, but still had meat with dinner every night.

When I started to catch on and refused to eat, David immediately got suspicious and rather angry in fact. The first night he showed his true colors...

"Let go of me!" I yell as they threw me in a cage. Looking around my surroundings to see the cage is located in the kitchen at the steakhouse. On the right side outside of the cage appeared to be a butcher's table, with reddish brown stains scattered over it, immediately realizing what it is and my head became dizzy.

Coming through the doors is David, a scowl on his face. His legs start walking towards me and my instinct is to back away from him, but my back was up against the wall behind me.

"I try to be nice," he snaps, "I gave you a home, I introduce you to the light, our savior, our family.."

His face is up against the cage, "This wasn't what I wanted, you know? I'm not a monster. I do this for our people, our family-"

"You're eating people you sick fuck-" I started but his hand smacked the cage which caused me to jump.

"Language!" he yells. He then tilts his head to the side, eyes following my body from my feet back up to my face, "You are lucky I like you so much."

My body went cold. What am I going to do? Fuck, fuck, fuck...

"I-I won't say a word, I pr-promise. You can let me go, I'll fend for myself out there. You don't h-have to worry about me coming back," I trembled.

He chuckles, "I know you won't say anything, sweetheart. But as far as letting you go well," he clicks his tongue, "You need me. Just like I need you. The lord has sent you to me, to be my guide. But you need to see that for yourself before I let you go."

I slowly was able to earn his trust, anything I can do to get out from there. Even if I had to earn it by hiding his truth, hiding how awful of a person he is. Even if he and his crew used me for their own satisfaction from time to time. The memories will haunt forever in my brain, don't know if any of this is worth it anymore. Why do I keep going? Why when I don't have anyone left. Maybe I should've went out with a bang and him killing me right there and then.

The crowd starts to wither away from the building, people going up to David, shaking his hand, thanking him for his comfort, thanking him for his guidance, thanking him for things he does not deserve. But there he is with a sympathetic smile, giving them all what they need, the reassurance. Then I see James going up to him, murmuring to themselves, hopefully distracted enough to go past them, but his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Louisa."

I turned around to see them both staring. A soft smile plastering my face as I walked towards them, ignoring the pit feeling in my stomach when around him. I feel his arm going around my back once I'm next to him.

"We're goin' huntin'. Follow James to gather what we need," he states. I nod my head without saying a word and follow behind James.

————————————-

The feeling of the snow crunch beneath me as we're walking around in the forest, careful to not make any sound to scare off whatever lead us out here. Apparently, James was told there was a deer spotted out here, but just like the other times, no trace of life out here as of yet. I go out hunting when there's nobody else able to help out, especially short notice like this. One of the perks on getting on David's side is he helped me with my shooting. I would say I'm pretty decent at it, good to prepare myself if that time comes...or even if I ever have a gun on me without him knowing. My patience is thinning the more I'm starting to lose feeling in my toes. The worn winter coat and beanie I have was able to keep in some heat, but definitely not as much as I would like. My gloves were very worn with small holes in a couple of spots. Doesn't help we've been out here for who knows how long.

Then a loud gunshot fires from the distance. David and James turned to each other in curiosity and headed towards the direction of the noise, myself following shortly behind them. We eventually finding what we've been searching for, but with blood seeping out of its body staining the snow red.

"You think we can just take it?" James asks. Both of them looking around at empty parts of the forest to see anyone coming through the trees but no luck. My eyes were distracted by the lifeless eyes of the deer staring back at me.

"Yeah. Quickly. Whoever shot is probably nearby," David responds. David nods his head for me to go to him, holding out his gun, assuming for me to take while they're planning on grabbing the deer. Before my hand reaches the gun, a voice shouts, "Don't!"

The voice was a female. Maybe younger. Couldn't tell with my back towards the sound.

"Drop your rifles! Now!" the voice shouts. David looked over at me and nodded his head, same goes from James. We all slowly put down our rifles.

"Turn and face me, slow," the voice speaks again. My body steadily turns around to see the person the voice belongs to.

The person was a girl, young teen age probably. Her rifle up and aimed between the three of us, inching closer at us.

"Any sudden moves, I put one right between your eyes. Ditto for buddy boy and blondie too"

She's got some spunk; I give her that. I smiled slightly, hopefully not enough for them to notice. She reminds of me of Anna..

I look over at David to see wheels turning in his head. What are you thinking there?

"You're quite a hunter. We didn't even hear you coming," he says but she doesn't respond to his comment.

She aims back at David, "Turn around and walk away!"

"Okay, all I ask is ten seconds of your time," he starts. My eyes pierced right through him, what are you really thinking?

"I won't say it twice!" she snarls back. Good for her. Don't fall for it, kid.

"Please," he continues, "My name is David. These are my friends, James," he motions to him then over at me, "And Louisa. We're from a larger group...other women there...children...and we're all very, very hungry."

Please leave while you can, kid. I don't have a good feeling about this.

Her face shows she's hesitant but continues to keep her guard up, "I'm from a large group too. Also hungry."

She's lying. No doubt about that. Even a smaller group wouldn't send a child out here to gather food. What is she hiding? I could tell they weren't believing it either.

"Well even so," David speaks, "Ya can't drag this back on your own," he motions to the deer.

The girl's body shifts, but aim is still on us without question, "We're not asking for charity. We can trade you for some of the deer. We have boot, or-"

"Medicine?" She asks urgently. The concern in her eyes is visible, but she appears to be well, so somebody is sick or hurt that is with her.

"Like for infections?" Yep was right.

I look over at David and his eyes perk up, "We do. Back in our village. You are welcome to follow us back there."

"I'm not following you anywhere. One of them can get it," she snaps. Smart. Don't fall for it. "When they come back, you get half the deer. Anyone else shows up, I put one-"

David interrupts, "Put one right between our eyes."

He looks back and forth between James and I then finally settle his eyes on me, "Go talk to Howard. He's got a case with some penicillin. Bring two bottles and a syringe."

Her eyes found mine and I couldn't help but look away. This is where I should step up, tell them to let it go, let her go, find something else. Anywhere away from here to get their attention off of her. Why can't I say it? Such a fucking coward...

"Not her," she starts then motioning to James, "Buddy boy over there. He's just standing there with his mouth open."

James starts speaking up, but David looks right at him, "It's fine, James. You go. She can stay with me. Nothing going on, right?" He looks over at me with that look I know better than to question and I nodded my head. James looks at him warily and then gives in, leaving us. I don't blame her. If I were in her situation, alone out here, I wouldn't trust them either. Not like she trusts me, maybe because I'm a female maybe there is some sort of comfort perhaps.

One it was just us, the girl's aim went back to us both, "Take ten steps back." Which we did, trying not to trip over the deer.

David speaks up, "Is that your dad's gun?" She ignores his question, bending down to one of our rifles on the ground and grabbing the ammo from it, "He's the one that's sick? That's why you're out here alone?"

I try to get his attention, but he ignores me, "Well look, uh, it's a four-mile round trip back to our settlement. It's gonna be a while before James gets back. I have some oil and matches in my pack. We could," he motions over behind him, "take shelter, start a fire. What do you think?"

I don't know if he's planning anything, but the idea of getting warmed up and getting some feeling back in my body does sound nice. The girl looks over at me and maybe my visible shivering convinced her that was a good idea. She motions to the deer, "Bring him with us."

We eventually found a spot to start a fire, in an abandon home with half of the roof gone, settle in until James comes back. I rest my hand near the fire, rubbing my hands together to heat up hopefully quicker than what it's doing now. My body is right up against David's, even when scooting slightly away from him subtly, he managed to get even closer. Looking up to see the girl still aiming her rifle at us, waiting for the attack, but it never does. She still doesn't let down though. Good for you, kid.

"You know, you really shouldn't be out here all on your own," David speaks up, focusing on his hands. He's still thinking he can change her mind about him and putting her gun down, but I don't see that happening anytime soon, nice try.

She responds, "From where I'm sitting, you shouldn't be out here on your own."

Her response made me chuckle slightly, which earned a glare from him, but I don't even look his way, just focusing on the fire ahead of me. I'll probably get punished for that later, but I couldn't help it.

Silence lingers for a while, then of course he speaks up again, "So what's your name?"

Silence continues. He doesn't think she's going to give him any information about herself, does he? He should get the hint but he goes on, "It's hard to trust strangers, I know. But honestly, we mean no harm. Louisa here," he wraps his arm around me, "Took her in with open arms. She's doing just fine as you can see."

'Just fine' my ass. That's not what my bruises all over my body say. The damage that him and his men did to me. All what I had to deal with, what they put me through, and I have to sit here with a smile on my face, fearing what comes next or what happens if I overstep. I hope she can see the disgust on my face that shows maybe I'm not 'just fine'.

"And who knows, there's room for you in our group, if you want of course," he says. The look he's giving her; That possession look. I know that look very well. Come on, just yell out something, anything for her to just shoot him then I'll be free. That's until James comes and sends a search party to kill and who knows what else with us. It's useless.

Of course, she denies his offer with a smart remark, still not letting that guard down of hers. I try to tune out his convincing, cringing at his attempts to persuade her and failing, just focusing on the fire ahead of me, feeling the warmth in my fingers again. Now it's easier to move them around a bit. I hear him talking about him being a preacher, explaining his thoughts of the aftermath of the world ending and him finding God, the same story he tells all the newcomers. Then there was something that caught my ear during his rambling.

"I sent four of our people to a nearby town to scavenge what they could and only three of 'em came back. The one that didn't was a father, had a daughter just like you. And her dad was taken from her."

Flashback of the young girl crying earlier during his sermon popped into mind. Why is he bringing this up though?

"Turns out, he was murdered by this crazy man. And get this, that crazy man was traveling with a little girl."

It was her and her dad that killed the father? I see the girl's posture change slightly, but gun was never lowered. David's face plastered a smile, a frightening one I know too well. The one that is up to no good.

"You see? Everything happens for a reason. James, lower the gun." That's when I noticed James coming out of hiding, his gun aiming at the girl's head. Oh shit.

"James-" I started but he yelled 'shut up' at me which made me lower my head, still seated next to David. He doesn't move an inch from where he's sitting.

"Easy, my dear. And no, she didn't kill anybody. Lower the gun," he calmly ordered, which James did listen.

He then asked if he brought the medicine and then ordered him to give it to her. He's letting her go? Or is this another one of his tricks? James was hesitant, but did throw bag towards the girl's direction. She then tells him to back away.

David talks to the girl again, "I know you're not with a group. You won't survive for long out there. I can protect you." Do not listen to him! Take the medication and go as far away as you can!

She grabbed the bag and walked backwards with the gun aimed at us till she is out of vision. She escaped, thank God.

James scoffs, "So you're just gonna let her get away?" David doesn't reply, just goes over to the fire to put it out. James' eyes dart over at me and stride over in my direction, then out of nowhere his hand raises and a burning sensation lingers on my face. The fucker slapped me. I hold my cheek out of shock and fear.

"You're lucky that's all you get for attempting to question me. Try it again and see what happens," he's now up close in my face, trying to intimidate me. I gulp, trying to avoid his eye contact. Just leave me be please. I am actually thankful for David to distract him enough by needing help moving the deer.

I hope that girl and her father get as far away from here as they can. If only I was able to do the same...

======================

**Yay chapter one is done! Hopefully the more I write, the easier it'll get. I tried proof reading it as much as I could so I apologize if some things don't look right. May edit along the way we'll see how it goes...There will be more to come. Have a lovely day <3

NEXT CHAPTER

[pascalisnopunk]

Across the Room III FINAL - Joel Miller x reader

Again, thank you everyone for the great response on the first two parts. As I said, this is my first time writing and I've been so motivated to write more! So yes, Thank you!

Across the Room III - Joel Miller x reader!Jackson

Warnings: Slow burn, near-kiss, mutual pining, emotional tension, canon-typical violence, major character death, grief, unresolved feelings.

Summary: You’ve lived in Jackson for a bit over a year now, but there’s one thing you haven’t quite figured out: Joel Miller. Everyone knows him. Everyone respects him. You? You can’t seem to stop watching him, and tonight, for the first time, you think maybe he’s watching you too.

Across the Room III

You see him before he sees you.

Joel’s standing by the stables, back to you, adjusting the strap on his saddlebag. His breath fogs in the cold morning air, curling around his face before fading. His horse paws restlessly at the ground, leaving deep marks in the frost.

You tell yourself not to stare. It’s been three days since that patrol. Three days since his scarf still carries his scent. Three days since that look across the bar, quiet, unspoken, but impossible to ignore.

And since then?

Nothing.

He’s gone quiet. Slipped back into his silence like it was armor. Like he didn’t hand you something delicate the last time he looked at you. But you still feel it. Like a ghost inside your chest.

You almost turn around, give him the same distance he’s kept, but then he glances up.

He sees you.

His expression shifts. That near-imperceptible flicker in his eyes. The small clench of his jaw.

“Hey,” you say, barely above a whisper.

“Hey.” He wipes his hands on his jeans and stops a few steps away.

You nod toward the horse. “Going out?”

He nods. “Tommy’s got us checkin’ some old lodge past the river. Supposed to be clear, never know.”

You hesitate. “Who’s riding with you?”

“Jesse. Couple new kids. Owen’s one of ’em.” He says the name like it doesn’t matter.

You hum. “They’re lucky. Riding out with Joel Miller.”

He huffs a half-laugh. “Don’t say that too loud.”

Silence again. Not uncomfortable, not quite. Just heavy. You look at him, really look. At the crease between his brows. The scar over his nose. The faint wear in his jacket where he always carries his rifle.

Something about him feels unfinished. Like a thought left mid-sentence. You gather your courage. Force the words out.

“You could’ve said something. About leaving.”

He looks down for a beat. Then back up. “I almost did.”

You swallow. “Almost.”

Something cracks in the quiet. Barely a sound. Just a shift in the air. But you feel it, sharp and sudden, like breath after holding it too long. Joel steps closer. Not enough to touch, but enough that the heat from his body cuts the cold between you. He lifts a hand. Hesitates. Like he’s weighing the whole world behind his fingertips.

“I didn’t wanna make it harder,” he says. “Didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

“I did,” you say, voice unsteady.

He stares at you.

There’s so much unsaid in his eyes. Regret. Want. Fear. All of it coiled tight and trembling.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he admits. “It’s been a long time.”

You try to smile. It doesn’t quite land. “For me too.”

His eyes drop to your lips. Just for a second.

Then, he leans in.

Your breath stutters. His hand almost touches your face. Fingertips ghosting the edge of your jaw. You close your eyes.

And then—

“Joel!”

The shout cuts through the cold like a knife.

You flinch. Eyes snap open.

Tommy’s at the gate, waving him over.

Joel stiffens. Jaw clenched. His hand falls.

“I have to go,” he says.

You nod.

He hesitates. Like he might say something else. Something important. But he doesn’t. He just reaches for the scarf still wrapped around your neck. Fingers brush it gently, like a memory he doesn’t want to lose.

“Keep that,” he murmurs.

Then he turns and walks away. You don’t move. Not for a long time.

You don’t sleep that night.

You lie awake beneath your quilt, fists curled tight in the fabric, listening for hoofbeats. Every creak of the wind sounds like boots on wood. Every shadow is a silhouette.

By morning, your gut tells you the truth. Even before the whispers start. Even before the questions begin.

By midday, the gates are still closed. The patrol’s not back.

And by late afternoon, Tommy’s riding out with a search party. He doesn’t let you come. Won’t meet your eyes when you ask.

The sky turns bruised with dusk. You sit alone in the Tipsy Bison, staring at a drink you haven’t touched. Around you, the noise feels wrong—muted, shaky. Like everyone’s just waiting to exhale.

When the gate bell rings, you’re already halfway to the door. Outside, the wind bites hard.

And then, you see it.

Jesse’s horse. Riderless. Lathered and limping. Then Tommy. He’s shouting. Blood on his coat. Blood on his hands. Not all of it his.

Your legs lock up.

You see them pulling something from the cart.

Someone. Joel.

His body is half-wrapped in a tarp. His head lolls to the side. One boot’s missing. His hand is smeared with red. His face, God.

His face is broken.

Not just wounded, gone. Caved in and ruined and wrong.

Someone screams. Maybe it’s you.

You try to move. Try to speak. But everything inside you shuts down.

Maria grabs Tommy. He’s sobbing now, knees in the snow. People are shouting. Someone calls for a doctor, like it matters.

And you, you just stand there.

Frozen. Empty.

You stare at the blood soaking through the tarp, dripping into the snow like it belongs there.

You reach up with trembling hands and clutch the scarf around your neck. It still smells like him.

Still warm from the day he almost kissed you. Almost told you something you would’ve carried forever.

Almost.

Sorryyy, I know it's sad, but I'm a sap for these kinds of stories and I love the pain, so yeah, it is what it is! Hope you enjoyed it at least!

[404daydreams]

I OWN YOU

The motive of your life is only me. Only, in a very negative way because you lack accountability and accepting your own darkness. You have to hide to hurt me, you have to gather hundreds of people and turn them against me, and in reality, which by the way you don't like at all; I OWN YOU. I will not turn bitter because my love for you is greater than anything in this world one have ever felt. You should be ashamed for hurting the person who hurt himself for you.

You shied away from your responsibilities and there's nothing badass about it. There's nothing to be proud of, there is NOTHING. If you're such a badass my dear, do what makes you a realbadass, not a phony one whom the world fails to recognize. You'll be considered badass when you adapt kindness, that you speak of so much but charity begins from home and you should start being kind first.

All you have is sex. If that makes you human, and you think your god complex is fed through, you're the most delusional human being in the world.

If its war, that you are manipulating me into moving on try it, I won't.

You'll have to come back. Because you left, I am still there, show how badass you are by not just posting online but turning them into actions. Can you step out of that world? Do you have the courage to do so? Do you have a sense of love, responsibility and care? Do you even care? Show it, otherwise know one thing for sure, if you know me well, I don't lose battles. I never did, and I won't, mark my words.

Don't take my love and kindness for weakness. I have learned from my mistakes hence I keep my cool, god forbid if I lose it none of you will survive. Know that. You're such a badass.. Hahahahaha. Hidden squirrel, trying to instigate me into negativity but I won't. If I smash you guys, you will win. I will keep my calm.

My positivity will kill you all anyways. Forget about me going down.

[pakunod-a]

Idia Shroud, who..

...can't fathom how you ever got around to talking to him. He was convinced you were too good for him.

...seems to be a bit more gloomy than usual.

—oh, no, it's not you. He just can't process how such a lovely human being could ever be his friend.

...can't believe it's been so long since you've first DM'ed him. He didn't even have to do anything at all.

...has a hard time believing you wouldn't up and find someone else to befriend. You're.. probably his first genuine friend. Why wouldn't you want to stay good friends with him?

...is your closest online friend. You've met a little short over a year ago, and now he's a little too attached.

...is one of your closest confidants. Despite not being friends with you in person, you trust him with major things, like your game accounts, your Magicord account, your IP address <3

...is your duo on most games. You support him, and oftentimes, he lets you carry.

...doesn't trust you when you say that your "friends" are only with you to hang out. They must have ulterior motives, no?

...is very, very fortunate he installed an app that lets him see through your webcam. You were so ethereal, it was unbelievable.

...thinks you look like a masterpiece crafted by the very hands of a god themselves. This is who he's been talking to all this time? He's breath-taken.

...starts slowly getting insecure every time you try and turn down his offers to game together. His mind starts going to the worst possible places imaginable.

...can't have you getting any ideas of leaving him. You're basically his best friend, dare I say his platonic? lover. You put your Minecraft beds together. You went to the Heart Island on Genshin Impact with him. He does all your dailies for you whenever you aren't available, and vice versa. You're practically married at this point.

...is waiting for the right time to strike. Not now, but soon. You shouldn't suspect it. If he fails, he risks losing his beloved friend.

...monitors you closely. It's just a matter of time, you know. After all, you're playing hard to get. And Idia does love a good challenge.

...watches your every move. You like to sing in the shower, don't you? You sound so talented.. undeserving of someone like him. You enjoy the company of cats? How coincidental.. he does too. You have so much in common already.

...has your room set up next to his. You'll live with him, eventually. When he finds the courage to do it.

Idia Shroud, who will forever be your Player 1. Won't you be his Player 2, too?

long note below here, skip if not interested

A/N: hello :)

it's been a while, how have you all been?

i apologize for being on a hiatus of some sort. and for the rushed and short idia post T-T

it's going to be the start of a busy year for me, i am graduating after all.

i have lots of posts i need to publish and rewrite, but unfortunately my schedule is too packed, and the only times i feel free enough to write are after-school hours, which are 8 pm - 12 am for me.

i might just end up reuploading more fics from my old blog, or writing a bit more for other series i'm into. (hxh, obey me, twst, mlbb, genshin, and hsr <3 perhaps trese if anyone's heard about it? 👀)

but if i ever come back to posting, what kind of content would you guys like to see?

my requests and inbox(?) are always open. please do drop by and say hello, or drop a request you would like to see written by me. i find that requests or ideas from others often get my brian going.

if you wish to find me elsewhere, my tiktok and my discord users are both pakunod.a :)

i would like to come back again with posts for you to read, or a few of my practice drawings for you to see.

perhaps in the future. :)

as always, stay safe, keep yourself healthy, stay hydrated, and always love yourself. <3

- 1, Yuan

[tomorrowxtogether]

HUENINGKAI: “I learned to love myself thanks to MOA”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback interview

2024.11.13

He cleared out his favorite hoodies and learned how to handle Cubase with ease. While many things keep on changing, some things are forever constant: the music, the group, and MOA. They are the true passions of HUENINGKAI, whose confident tone reassures us of his commitment to forever.

You cleared out some of your hoodies and stuffed toys—what you called your “horcruxes.” HUENINGKAI: Well, the hoodies were way too small for me anyway. (laughs) I wanted to try out some new styles, too, so I cleared them out. I decided I needed to ditch the hoodies first and try something prettier, including buying some knit sweaters. I also felt I could do away with my old stuffed dolls and replaced them with some new fluffier ones. It’s hard the first time you get rid of stuff, but I found it gets easier after that.

You’ve made a lot of big changes in different areas. You’ve been keeping up with your exercise, even throughout the ACT: PROMISE world tour, forming the TXT Exercise Team and regularly taking “TXD” [today’s exercise done] photos. (laughs) HUENINGKAI: I always take TXD shots. I share them in our group chat. I started working out to boost my self-esteem since they say it helps, and it definitely helps keep my mind off things when all you can think about is how tiring it is! (laughs) You can’t help but lose weight if you box. It’s the only thing that makes me sweat as much as performing in concert. There’s someone on staff who’s been doing CrossFit for a long time, so I recently started too. My goal was never to bulk up and get these huge muscles in the first place but to have a slim build with lean muscles, so CrossFit seems like a good fit for me. And MOA, you don’t have to worry—I’m not going to overdo it. (laughs)

A lot of MOA were surprised the way you threw the guitar during the performance of “Growing Pain” on the ACT: PROMISE tour. HUENINGKAI: My image sure underwent a transformation. (laughs) I wanted to show how even someone like me, who’s usually so pure and soft, has some rock star inside him. I looked up different ways of capturing the idea of smashing up the stage. I initially thought about breaking the guitar, but I figured throwing it would be better. That was all I did early on in the tour, but by the time we took it to the US, I experimented a lot, throwing the pick and flipping my bangs back later on. I was happy I got to show off a different side of myself through all that.

You’ve always had a knack for playing instruments and like playing them for fun. How do feel now that your YouTube series HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band is over? HUENINGKAI: I love playing instruments and being in a band, so I was thrilled to be able to make it. Just holding an instrument in my hands makes me feel happy, and actually interacting with and jamming with a band felt like a quintessentially youthful experience. The whole thing was fun to shoot. It never felt like work to me. I approached it like I was going to hang out with a school band.

What do you think makes being in a band so uniquely appealing? HUENINGKAI: I think it comes down to the eye contact you make while playing together. I think chemistry’s the most important part of a band, and when you’re looking each other the eye and having a good time together, you feel fully united. I feel like rock has the power to make unforgettable memories for both the band playing and their audience. I heard MOA saying they’re interested in playing in bands now or want to get back into learning an instrument. HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band was a huge motivation for me, and it makes me happy thinking it planted the seeds for some great dreams among MOA. I hope they challenge themselves to pursue whatever they want and achieve their goals, whether that’s playing in a band or something else. Just the act of trying something new takes a lot of courage, and if they build up some experience, they can truly enjoy their youth.

What form did that sense of youthfulness take on when you were making the show? HUENINGKAI: It’s the kind of youthful experience you can only experience during your university years, full of excitement, sorrow, and happiness all mixed together. The song “Kitto Zutto” is actually supposed to be about how I felt filming the Yonsei University episode of HUENINGKAI Wants to Start a Band. I seem to remember working on it between filming episodes two and three. I tried to make the chord progression feel both bright and also have a refreshing, youthful vibe. The very first thing I made was the piano track, but it felt a bit bland, so I turned up the BPM and then it sounded great! The funny thing was that I tried to play at that higher BPM but my fingers couldn’t keep up. (laughs) Since it would’ve been a little bland with just the piano, I felt like it’d be nice to have a catchy melody, so I had a guitar riff repeat from the intro onward. That’s the main highlight of “Kitto Zutto.” The drums gradually build up the sound and create a sense of flow.

How do you think it compares to the first song you produced, “Dear Sputnik”? HUENINGKAI: I’ve grown so much since then. When I was working on “Dear Sputnik,” I didn’t know how to use Cubase, but I used it to make the song this time. It was easy and convenient once I got the hang of it and got better as I used it more and more. Actually, for “Dear Sputnik,” I created the basic structure, but I got a lot of help from other people since it was less than two years since I debuted. I really wanted to contribute a greater share after that, and I did contribute significantly more to “Kitto Zutto.” It’s the first on a path of hard work towards being able to make a song I can truly call my own.

When you had just debuted and you were on Section TV, you said, “Ever since I was a trainee, my one goal has been to make and perform songs that can move people.” To what degree have you achieved your goal? HUENINGKAI: With “Dear Sputnik,” 30%—“Kitto Zutto,” 60%. Right from when I was first writing “Kitto Zutto,” I was thinking about how fun it would be to sing it with MOA in concert. Nothing makes me feel more fulfilled than when I see MOA enjoying a song I produced. When I performed those songs in concert, I went around in front of the audience on the moving stage and could see MOA up close and personal. They all looked so happy. I’m glad I made these songs that MOA can really get into singing along with and that we can touch their hearts with. I think singing them together gives them their final touches. I want to keep making and performing songs that everyone will love and can make them feel happy when they listen to them.

In many ways, the past year has been an excellent showcase of how you’ve grown musically. You really got people talking when you were on Lee Mujin Service and when you performed “BETELGEUSE” on the Nippon TV show THE MUSIC DAY. HUENINGKAI: I got lots of messages from people I know. (laughs) It’s the first time so many people have reached out to me like that. I was grateful but there was something indescribable about it because I feel like I’m still in the process of finding my own voice. I’ve tried singing with something more like rock vocals, and even though I don’t have difficulty hitting high notes, I’ve been thinking carefully about how to make them sound even better. I’d like to find vocals that are a little more unique to me. Obviously being a good singer is important, but I feel like sometimes that individuality is even more important.

You’ve always been a kind person, but you seem pretty strict with yourself. HUENINGKAI: Only when I feel like I’ve perfected a skill can I say that I’ve truly made it mine. I’m sort of a worrier so I practice on my own outside normal rehearsal time. Our new single “Over The Moon” is hard. (laughs) My feeling is, if you want to dance well during live shows, it starts with singing perfectly before you ever even stand up. And when I’m performing onstage, I just think, Just do it like we practiced. I might just end up making mistakes if I try to go beyond that.

I guess “Over The Moon” would’ve been hard since it’s more about making it feel romantic than unfolding a clear sense of progression. HUENINGKAI: It’s not a sad song, but it doesn’t exactly feel cheerful either, so I was aiming for a kind of longing middle ground. I start out singing softly to MOA, almost like a whisper, then add in a touch more of that longing in the chorus. I see “Over The Moon” as me removing the gravelly vocals from “0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You)” featuring Seori and keeping it light.

When watching “Over The Moon,” it reminded me of “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away).” HUENINGKAI: Exactly! It’s got the same ear-tapping move on the line “whisper me my name” as in “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away),” so I ended up watching our old performances for the first time in a while. My image back with “9 and Three Quarters (Run Away)” was meant to evoke the excitement of school days, while in “Over The Moon,” I tried to convey something a little more mature, like a university student.

You also came across as mature the way you led the older members in the 144th episode of TO DO X TXT, “Abandoned Stars,” even though you’re the youngest in the group. HUENINGKAI: That’s probably the most they’ve ever needed me. (laughs) It was scary at first, but I helped them because I felt like they wouldn’t even be able to go in if it weren’t for me. And anyway, it was less scary the second time around. I guess it’s because I’m a levelheaded person. They were clinging to me so desperately I thought my clothes would come off. (laughs) That was a first. But on the inside I was actually kind of glad and thinking about how much they need me.

You also paid YEONJUN a visit when he was shooting the music video for “GGUM.” HUENINGKAI: YEONJUN was the first one of us to do a solo project, and since I wanted to show my support and express my gratitude anyway, I brought some dakgangjeong we could eat together. (laughs) But most of all, I really wanted to learn from him. The stage presence he had as he sang from start to finish all by himself, and watching how naturally he ad-libbed towards the end, was all pretty amazing. (laughs) His solo was a good experience for us, too.

You’ve always emphasized in interviews how you want to be dependable for the rest of the group. What does trustworthiness mean to you? HUENINGKAI: Teamwork. The greater the trust between us, the stronger our group becomes. As a member of a kind of team, it’s always my hope that the other members can continuously rely on me. That’s what being a team is, after all.

And honesty is crucial for mutual trust, of course. In an interview with W Korea, when asked what it takes for a group to last a long time, you said, “Teamwork. Being open with each other about feelings.” HUENINGKAI: I actually never used to talk much about my feelings. I thought things would just work out over time, but now I talk things over with the people I’m close to, like the other members, my family, and the protocol team, no matter what it is. I really listen to their feedback, too. It just feels better that way. But it’s not at all easy to open up about what you’re feeling inside, of course. You can never just be like that from day one. So I just started slowly, and now I’m more open than I was last year.

You posted a letter on weverse for the fifth anniversary of your debut, and in it you talked about how you’ve always been careful to hide your feelings away because you didn’t like to talk about them. What made you decide to open up to MOA? HUENINGKAI: I never wanted to let MOA know when I was having a hard time. I always wanted to show them the good sides only. But the longer we were together, the closer we became, and I realized that also talking about those things was the right way to further develop the relationship. That’s why I was honest and open in what I wrote on weverse on March 4. I resolved to be more honest and open from then on.

It takes a lot of courage to be open like that. How did you find it in you to find the courage? HUENINGKAI: It’s all thanks to MOA’s love. Every time MOA opens up through their fan letters or in person, I can sense their love. The phrase, “my youth is TOMORROW X TOGETHER,” is beautiful, and hearing, “I’ll love you completely for who you are, no matter what—I love you so much,” absolutely fills me with strength. All these people around me were showing me love, but I felt like I didn’t love myself. I learned to love myself thanks to MOA.

It’s clear that you have an immense amount of love toward MOA, too, like when you said, “It may have been hard doing what it took to debut, but I could do it all again 100 times if it meant I could be with MOA.” HUENINGKAI: I wanted to show them just how much I love them. There were a lot of times I felt like giving up before I debuted, but MOA helped me forget all about it. I know what it means to find happiness as an idol thanks to them. I think MOA is what’s made TOMORROW X TOGETHER whole.

[diegeticdivinity]

I just realised that the thing that makes me FURIOUS about Epistle 3 killing off Mossman the way it did is that right before it does that, it shows the insane/+ culmination of her character growth, only to snatch it away and make it mean nothing the moment Alyx pulls the trigger.

For the majority of half-life 2, Judith Mossman is motivated by fear, fear for her own life, yes, but mostly fear of losing the people she cares about, especially Eli. She betrays Gordon because Breen promised that if he can have Gordon, Eli won’t be harmed, and even when Breen broke that promise she was so terrified of both sides turning on her that she made another desperate decision. She was never at Black Mesa; with no firsthand proof of Gordon’s status as a symbol of hope combined with her rational mind, she can never truly believe in him the way the rest of the Resistance seems to. It’s what made her the easiest target for Breen among the Resistance’s inner circle; Breen runs on the logic that surrender is the only way for humanity to survive at all, and Judith was already dangerously close to that reaching that conclusion herself.

When Judith turns on Breen in the Citadel, it is most likely for a combination of reasons. She, too, has gotten the news of the uprising that the Resistance have started over the course of that week, so the hope that had touched them could have been a factor as well, but I believe her primary motivator to still be Eli’s safety. She just realises that Breen has no intention of keeping Eli safe and that, perhaps, he will be safer pursuing his wild dream of resistance, which she realises may not be entirely hopeless. Judith gains hope, yes, but never becomes a true ‘Freeman devotee’, which is good because I think that’d be quite out of character for her. She’s just a woman who wants to protect the people she loves, and her faith in those people (and, perhaps, in herself!) has finally outgrown her fear, giving her the courage to do ‘what she could never do alone’. That courage is so strong that she goes to a top-priority location for the Combine, the eye of the storm, to search for the Borealis, because she wants to do as much as she can to give Eli and his Resistance the best chance she possibly can.

And you know what happens at the end of Episode 2? Despite everything, despite all of the hope Judith gains at the end of HL2, despite the fact that she turned on Breen to save Eli, it still wasn’t enough. Eli is dead. Her worst fears have come to pass. Theoretically, this should break Judith. This should make her more willing than anyone to follow Alyx’s tunnel vision plan of at least honouring Eli’s legacy and destroying the Borealis. But she isn’t. She’s more hopeful than ever, willing to argue with Alyx that studying the Borealis and using its technology to take the fight to the Combine is the best path forward, echoing not only Eli’s general faith in humanity but Kleiner’s faith in human science and ingenuity. Judith has suffered a terrible loss, her entire prior motivation for even attempting to fight back died with Eli, but she finally understands him, understands what drove him, and to her, continuing that legacy of hope would honour his legacy better than fulfilling his dying wish, made from the same kind of fear that once drove her, ever could. Freeman’s return didn’t give her the hope she so desperately wanted, but she found her own hope where there once was none.

Then Alyx shoots her and all of that doesn’t matter anymore. Now, obligatory ‘Epistle 3 probably wasn’t intended as a serious Episode 3 plot and is essentially a coded meta-rant about the hopeless state of the franchise in 2017’, but it still saddens me to see how great Mossman’s character arc could have been, and I really hope they do something cool with it in HLX/3 even now that Eli is no longer dead.