#but idk how to remember/understand all the functions

[trif333cta]

i hate the adderall because of many things but i do not want to stop taking it because of many things

[lesbianpegbar]

i love the arts and animation obviously but when i hear my sister talk about her research and her work it does make me yearn for the sciences again

[paleepeaches]

Happy Valentines Day

(Connor Rk800 x Fem Reader)

Warnings: Idk NSFW so 18+

Word count: 2422

Summary: It's Valentine's Day and instead of making Connor dinner you let him fuck your brains out.

A/N: This took way longer than it should have. It's pretty mid.

Tags: If you're still interested @joelsfavoritegirl

You were a festive person. Always have and always will be. Valentine's was your favorite holiday not only because of the pink and red strewn across supermarkets and stores but because it was a day of love: a reason to celebrate you and Connor’s union. You were sentimental. Sensitive and a bit of a sappy girl when it came to things like that. Connor was fully aware of it. He made note of it when you first got together. How you pouted up at him. Your bottom lip jutting out slightly covered in your lipgloss. When things didn’t go your way your pretty doe eyes would water with tears and coat your spiky lashes. Seeing you so whiney and needy all the time was an adorable sight. Especially when it came to him. You’d pout every time he had to leave for the DPD every morning. Today was no different.

“Do you have to go?” You fluttered your lashes up at him. 

Connor turned his head to look at you while he did his tie. His hands skilfully mastered it. He felt his resolve waver seeing you so like that. You’d just gotten up. Hair was a bit messy, eyes a bit tired but what you wore got him. It was the babydoll nightdress. Baby pink in color and the cups on it hugged your tits so nicely. It was sheer and cut off at the top of your plush thighs. He had to resist throwing you on the bed and just fucking your brains out. Poor baby girl didn’t know what you were doing to him.

“I have to. Hank needs me for another case. Plus who’s gonna make enough money to take care of you?” He cooed down at you with his signature smirk. 

You huffed out a sigh nodding in understanding. “Okay but are you gonna be home on time to celebrate? To eat dinner and do….other activities?” You blushed at the hint you threw out. Connor had been balls deep inside of you, lapped viciously at your pussy, and had you whining and calling him daddy yet you were still so timid. He nodded his head trying to hide his amusement at your shyness. 

“Of course,” He smoothed out his jacket and reached a hand out to you. He cupped your face, his thumb brushing your cheek and relishing in its softness. “I’ll never keep you waiting. You know that.” He leaned down and placed a peck on your lips. He could taste that lingering lip balm on you. Cherry. You always had to have it cherry-flavored. He licked his lips tasting it and hummed. He reluctantly let you go as soon as he felt his cock begin to throb to life. Just kissing you was enough to send him into a feral mood.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He promised you and grabbed his car keys leaving you wanting and yearning for him.  

You filled your day with meaningful tasks despite the growing ache of Connor leaving you high and dry. You were dedicated to making this Valentine’s Day one he would remember. 

You had decorated your shared home in heart-shaped garlands and had a few scented candles going. If it was any other Valentine’s Day involving a human with functioning organs then you would have made a delicious meal and set wine out. However, this was Connor an RK800 model who didn’t need food or water to keep functioning. So you had to get creative which was why when he came home he was happy to see the festive decor, the soft glow of the candles around the living room, and the trail of petals leading to the bedroom.

You knew it was a bit cheesy of a tactic and overused but what other things could you have possibly used as a romantic trial? Connor had come home with flowers and of course, a gift for you held in the other hand. “Y/N…” He called out softly as he pushed open the bedroom door. If he had lungs they would have surely strained and stopped his breathing. He’d seen you in proactive wear before but this was the cherry on top. 

You sat knelt on the plush soft bed with each leg under you. You wore a babydoll lingerie top that cupped your breasts, making them sit so pretty on your chest. The top was thin, sheer, and baby pink bringing out the color of your skin. A pretty bow sat in the middle between the valley of your breast effectively accentuating your body. A thong was keeping your pretty puffy lips in place from falling out. Connor could see you went all out this year. He set the gifts for you on the dresser and walked meaningfully towards you.

“You like it?” You giggled softly a playful smirk on your pouty lips. Connor sat down next to you, the bed dipping in the process. “Of course I do sweetie.” He moved your hair aside with his hand and leaned in kissing you on the exposed skin of your neck. You inhaled sharply your eyes softening and body feeling like putty. 

Connor was programmed to analyze and interrogate deviants. So, naturally, he was able to figure out what aroused you and what didn’t. He knew of all the special spots on your lovely skin. His lips skilfully kissed your neck leaving hot wet kisses. You mewled delightfully for him making his cock harden.

He leaned into your ear whispering, “You sound so fucking pretty.” 

It caused a pink shade to cover your supple cheeks. He never ceased to make you blush even when he wasn’t trying to fuck you.

“Lay down, I wanna taste you.” He lightly pushed you down to lay on the bed. Your hair was sprawled across the sheets and your arms were at your side. Connor spread your legs and dragged you towards the edge of the bed. He kneeled before you, slipping your thong off. His fingers skillfully spread your puffy folds revealing your wet slick cunt. 

“I haven’t even touched you and you're already soaking.” He smiled cruelly at you. 

“Connor…” You whined out, hips bucking up to get him to taste you, finger you, anything. 

He laughed at your desperation, “Always so needy.” Connor didn’t want to give in to you just yet. He wanted to draw it out, have you begging for him to touch you. His plans quickly changed when he saw your pleading eyes and fluttering lashes. You looked so docile and cute that he couldn’t help but give in. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” He spread your pussy folds further getting a good look at how drenched you were before giving you a long lick. He was hungry for you, tongue swirling around your clit and lapping at your puffy folds. 

“Fuck C-Connor-” Your moans were broken and rough as he continued his assault. Your eyes rolled back and your hands immediately tugged on his hair.

“You taste so good.” He muttered the vibrations of his voice over your clit caused you to throw your head back. 

He took your whines as fuel and dipped his tongue deep inside your hole. He groaned feeling it grip and clench, greedy for anything to fill it. He retracted his tongue humming and relishing in the sweet taste of your juices. 

“Shh baby you’re doing so good for me.” He cooed to you and before you could reply he plunged two long and slender fingers into you. You gasped for air, body squirming under him. He had to hold you in place to keep you from moving.

“Connor I-I think I’m gonna cum-” You choked out, voice cut off by his fingers slipping out with a loud squelch. He smirked down at you and you knew he’d refuse to give you an orgasm. At least not with his fingers.

“Connor, please.” You whined out for him desperately clawing at his trousers and tugging his belt. You wanted to see him, stop this torture, and have him fuck you raw.

He smiled down at you, tilting his head slightly to the side. “You’re so needy Y/N.” Connor slapped his hand down on your cunt making you yelp. It came out breathy and far from painful. His hand smacked you again, hitting deliciously against your throbbing clit.

Connor engrained your reaction into his hardware, studying, and learning. He yanked off your babydoll lingerie, pulling it over your head and leaving you in nothing but your bare skin. 

Connor was quick, fingers deftly opening each button of his shirt. His belt was next, his hands deftly moving to unbuckle it. He threw it on the floor, making it clang against the hardwood. He pushed down his trousers and underwear down and his face fell in relief. His cock sprang free, the head was swollen and leaking pre cum. 

At the sight of it, you felt your hole flutter and clench around nothing. You squirmed on the bed, withering in need. “Connor please, please, I’ve been a good. girl” You mewled out, batting your sweet lashes up at him.

There was something so thrilling and almost primal about you laying before him so vulnerable. The way you begged for his cock had him hardening even more. You never ceased to make his heart clench and cock jump from how sweet you were.“Shh, baby it's okay. I’ll give this pussy what it needs.” He cooed to you so softly.

Connor pumped his cock a few times, his pre cum seeping from the tip and spreading over his shaft. He pushed your legs up to your chest and lined his cock up to your hole. He could see your pretty pussy tighten up in anticipation. An amused exhale left his nose as he looked up into your eyes. They were foggy, glassy with lust and pure need. 

Connor pushed the head of his cock in and he groaned, hand coming down to the side of your head to brace himself. He gripped the bedsheets below you two and his face scrunched up in restraint. He knew first penetration was always hard for you. Your poor pussy couldn’t take so much cock so he had to take his time. He struggled to keep his composure and just thrust his full length into you. He knew if he did you'd cry out, sob, and claw at him. It was thrilling.

He sighed out and smoothed the skin on your hip with his palm. "Relax baby." With each second that passed he slipped in further and further in taking his time to stretch you out.

You were a mess below him, clawing at his shoulders and back. If he were human you would be sure he'd have red claw marks on his porcelain skin.

You panted like a bitch in heat, cunt clamping hard on him. “M-more, more Connor, I can take it.” You pouted up to him.

Connor chuckled at your bold statement. “You can take it huh?” 

“Y-yeah I can take it-”

Connor slammed his cock into you causing a yelp to escape your throat. The big stretch was painful as his tip bumped your cervix. Your body jolted upwards away from him but he just pulled his cock out and shoved it in again.

“Thought you could take it, princess. This is what you’ve been whining about?” Connor smiled down at you cruelly. He folded you in half, pushing your legs farther up to your chest. His cock slipped further in, making a lewd squelching sound.

“Y-yes!” You cried out in response.

“Then stop fucking complaining and take my cock like a good girl.” Connor leaned down and kissed you roughly, tongue slipping into your mouth. His hand gripped your chin as he pumped his cock into you.

His heavy balls slapped against the plump flesh of your ass. The noise echoed around the room, bouncing off the walls and into your ear. Your juices leaked out of your cunt, coating his cock and dripping down his balls. He could feel it warm them and groaned into your mouth. He pulled back from the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours. “That’s my good princess, fuck clench down just like that.” 

You blushed, your pussy clamping down on him just from the compliment. “Ahh! Mphm! Fuck…Connor!” You were loud letting high-pitched moans fall from your pouty lips. Your eyes rolled back and you bit down on your lip relishing in the sweet bliss of his cock.

“Don’t do that. I wanna hear you.” Connor smacked your face lightly and you released your bottom lip from your teeth. 

“C-Connor I’m not gonna- I can’t-” Your words were chopped up, as you struggled to speak. They came out in whiney babbles and Connor couldn’t help but become amused. He thought you looked so cute like that. Your face controted into pleasure, words not even forming sentences just sounds. He loved seeing you completely drunk on his cock. 

“Good girl, just like that.” He praised you. He pressed the pad of his thumb to your swollen clit, rubbing slow and tight circles around it. You cried out, clawing at his back. Your bambi eyes brimmed with tears. You blinked, lashes fluttering and coated in the wetness. Fat tears rolled down your pink cheeks as you came.

Connor noticed but didn't fret. You would cry often due to the pure delight of cumming. He leaned down, cooing to you and licking them up with his tongue. He could taste the bitter and salty flavor of your tears.

That simple act made your walls clench down on his throbbing cock. Your legs locked him in place, wrapped around his waist and not letting him retract further than he should. He pounded into your soaking wet heat. “Fuck!” He cursed as you milked his cock. One final thrust into your spongy sweet spot had Connor spilling ropes of cum deep into your pussy. He gave a few sloppy thrusts helping you both ride out your orgasms. Your cream and his cum oozed out as he pushed his cock deep in, making it overflow and spill. You poor pussy was a mess. All fucked out and painted white.

Connor panted for a few seconds but recovered quickly due to his android body. He placed sweet soft kisses on your red cheeks and your forehead. “You did so good for me baby.” His voice was soft and sweet as he spoke.

You smiled up at him, panting softly, “Happy Valentine's Day.” 

[luveline]

I would love to see more of badass reader x Spencer, but maybe reader gets hurt on a case (like a concussion or something) and only wants Spencer and we get to see more of reader’s soft spot for Spencer. Idk if that made sense or if that’s anything you’d be interested in writing. Love reading whatever you write!💕

thank you for your request and for reading babe!! —your singular soft spot for spencer rises to the surface when you get hurt in the field. fem!reader, 1.1k

Emily's foot tap tap taps hospital linoleum. The nurses are getting worried about you —your CAT scans are fine, but you're lethargic. Mildly concussed with moderate symptoms, you winced at the lights, told Emily to turn them off, and haven't said much since. 

She frowns. It's not nice to see someone who's usually so closed-off openly pained. "You okay?" she asks. 

"I wanna see Spence," you murmur. 

Emily nods slowly. She's had this conversation with you already. You have a spot of amnesia, nothing to worry about, decidedly temporary. 

"Why hasn't he come to see me?" you ask. Your voice trips and tumbles, your eyes glowing with a glassy sheen. "I thought he'd come to… make sure I was okay. But he doesn't want to see me." 

"Spencer's on the way here. He was an hour away with Hotch, remember? They're on their way." 

You twitch like a displeased cat under your sheets and turn away from her, sniffling weakly. Your shoulders heave with slow tears. Emily gets up to rub your back but thinks better of it when you stiffen. She doesn't understand how you function, doesn't know what it is about Spencer alone that you can be vulnerable with him and not the others, but she won't judge you for it. She just wishes there was more she could do. 

It's an untold amount of time between your tears and Spencer's awaited arrival. You're worse than lethargic, depressed, hand lax behind your back and unresponsive to the sound of the door. 

"She's asleep?" he mouths. His hair is limp either side of his face, flattened by anxious hands. 

"Upset," she mouths back through a frown, drawing a tear down her cheek with her pinky finger. 

He doesn't give Emily a second glance after that. 

"Hey," he says softly, rounding your hospital bed, touching the tips of his fingers to your hip and drawing a gentle line up your side. His head dips down, bending at the waist to see you better in the dim lighting. "Hey, what's wrong?"

You make a small keening sound from the back of your throat. It's so cleaving that Emily wants to leave, so painful that she wants to stay. You're her friend too. Emily cares about you, even when it hurts to do so.

"I don't feel like me," you say. 

Spencer doesn't shy away either. His expression is open, reassuring as he pops into a semi squat that can't be comfortable. His hand closes around your arm, thumb feeling the naked skin there sweetly. "It's normal to feel confused after a head injury. I promise it won't last." 

"I don't feel well," you say, small, like a scared kid. 

"I know." 

You reach for him. Emily knows Derek would never believe it, your hands stretched out almost desperately, the pleading noise yanked from between teeth normally gritted. Spencer wraps long arms around you with the ease of someone who's done it before, maybe exactly like this. 

"It's okay," he says. He's speaking with pep he doesn't feel. Emily can see he's stressed in the high pinch of his shoulders, but he's putting on a show for you. "You don't have to be scared. It's okay." 

The perpetual line carved between Hotch's brows seems deeper as he enters the room. Neither of you look up, your back loosening under the lazy back and forth of Spencer's hand. 

"Concerning, right?" Emily asks. 

Hotch ignores her, but not for lack of agreement. "What do her observations say?" 

"Mild to moderate head injury, post-concussion amnesia, fractured index and middle finger on her left hand." 

"Where are her clothes?" he asks. 

"They can't check her out until she gets her fingers cast and all she brought in her go bag was slacks." 

"I'll get her some pyjamas," Hotch says. 

Emily's not sure what's funnier, the idea of you in pyjamas, the image of Hotch choosing a pair, or the word pyjamas in his stoic murmur. He lingers to make sure you're okay, his eyes tracking the tremble of your arms as Spencer talks too low to hear in your ear, having sat down on the bed and curled himself around you protectively. 

You moan something sad and Spencer laughs, your hospital gown crinkling as he massages the top of your shoulder. "Why would you say that?" he asks lightly. "You think you know better than me? Really?" 

"Of course not," you say. If it were anyone else, you'd have knocked them off the bed already. 

"I don't remember you having an eidetic memory," he furthers. 

You actually manage to laugh for the first time since your initial injury. "I don't remember anything right now," you say. 

Emily leans over to Hotch. "You know, when we first came in, I suggested to the nurse that she might have amnesia because she kept asking me where she was, and she looked me dead in the eye and said, well, good thing you're not a nurse." 

Hotch scoffs a laugh. "It's a little surprising even now. Seeing them together, you'd never think it." 

"Think what?" Emily asks, fond rather than judgemental. "That she's as emotional as a China teacup?" 

"I'll remember for both of us," Spencer murmurs, stroking your face. "Okay? So calm down." 

Derek once told you to calm down and felt the cold of your icy attitude for a ragged week. Spencer says it and you take a visible deep breath, your head laying back in your pillows, his hand quick to cup the side of your neck. "Okay," you say quietly. 

"It's not just that," Hotch says, failing to explain further. 

He doesn't have to. Emily knows what he means. You can be snippy, aloof, unfriendly. But it's not just your softening that's surprising, it's Spencer's growing confidence. The ease with which he handles you, hands unabashed in their comforting. 

"Want me to find you something to wear?" Spencer asks. 

"We got it," Hotch interrupts. "Take it easy, Y/N. Rest." 

You nod obediently. He and Emily leave, hearing a last snippet of conversation as the heavy door closes behind them. 

"You wanna sign my cast, when they do it?" you ask hopefully. 

"Are you kidding? I'd love to. I've always wanted to sign someone's cast, and it's good for your morale." 

"Will they be in a cast long, do you think?" 

"They should be healed in about six to eight weeks, but you may not regain full strength for another two months afterward. There have actually been studies…" 

[akanemnon]

Ok so, I decided to re-read the comic, and there's something I don't understand, how the "puppet limbs" Kris and frisk have work exactly?, I don't mean their origins but how they work function.

They are hyper mobile yes, but, since they aren't literal puppet limbs, could Kris for example spin their head infinitely like if their neck was a real ball joint due to some weird magical thingy? Or is there a limit to how much they can move before something snaps? Even if that limit is far greater than regular humans

Their hypermobility is close to real-life contortionists, but WAY more extreme

The thing with these two is they sort of function under cartoon logic. Though it's more or less determination-based. If they are convinced they can do something and they want to do it, then they simply CAN do it.

It's very bizarre, I know. Picture it like a character like Wile E. Coyote being stuck in a down-to-earth, slice-of-life cartoon like... idk Doug (if anyone remembers THAT show)

So, under that logic, their limbs would act more rubber-like. Not in the way that they can stretch like Mr. Fantastic, but that they will simply snap back into their original position. They ONLY get injured or unable to do it to this extreme that way if they're doubting themselves.

Basically, all their abilities and skills rely on determination, with doubt being their weakness. Which is something you can actually see in the comic with Kris.

[ksnzuy]

OMG PLEASE CAN U DO A CHUUYA FIC

Basically where they have 4 kids (genders your choice) but the youngest wants to be an older sibling (idk why but I just see Chuuya wanting a lot of kids anting to start a BIG family) but chuuyas into the idea BUT reader isn’t saying how her shops closed

Idk I just want something funny nothing sexual just a fluff and unhinged fic:p

If your not feeling up to it no problem <3 it would be nice to see u write it BUT NO PRESSURE I understand you have a life out of tumblr :)

🩷🩷🩷

୨ৎ Fours A Crowd.

୨ৎ auth: Hihi, I’ve been busy with stuff for my upcoming birthday which is in a week, soo sorry for delays in posting!! Sorry yall had to see a baddie almost get political will NEVER happen again

୨ৎ Summary: Having four kids is enough as is, but when your youngest wants to be an older sister and INSISTS on you having another child(and your husband feeding her little head) one can genuinely feel insane.

୨ৎ: one shot | fluff | Children | maybe slight unhinged | meant to be funny(my humor may suck to some)

୨ৎ Characters Included: Chuuya Nakahara

Chuuya Nakahara has fought in underground wars, stared death in the face, and drop-kicked mafia scum in three-piece suits without breaking a sweat. He’s led operations in the rain, in suits worth more than some people’s rent. He’s survived Dazai.

But what he can’t survive?

Parenting four gremlins under the age of ten.

Especially when the smallest one starts talking like she’s got reproductive rights over your uterus.

⸻

It starts over breakfast.

The kitchen is chaos, per usual. Orange juice is on the floor, someone (probably Kaito, the third-born and certified feral) is trying to use the toaster to heat up a Hot Wheels car, and the oldest—Kyouko, your pre-teen with the attitude of a tired single mother—won’t stop yelling that this house is a social experiment. All while Chuuya’s trying to sip his coffee and pretend it’s not a war zone.

And then there’s Hana. Your five-year-old. Your baby. The tiniest terrorist in a frilly pink tutu and a juice mustache.

She hops onto a chair, slams her little palm on the table like she’s starting a family meeting, and announces:

“I WANNA BE A BIG SISTER.”

The entire room goes silent. Like; Hot Wheels-car-melting, yelling, cereal-flying silent.

You blink at her. “Come again?”

“I WANNA BE A BIG SISTER,” she repeats, louder. “Kyouko gets to be one. Kaito and Kenji too! It’s MY turn.”

Kyouko looks up from her phone. “You are a big sister. We’ve talked about this.”

“No, I mean a BIG BIG sister. Like, someone littler than me. I wanna boss someone around. I WANNA HOLD A BABY.”

You sip your coffee. “Get a doll.”

She gasps, offended. “DOLLS DON’T POOP. I WANT A REAL ONE.”

“…What kind of sales pitch is that?”

But Chuuya? That traitor?

Chuuya’s just standing there, smug smirk tugging at his lips, doing that thing where he leans against the counter like he’s on the cover of stupidly priced magazine and says;

“Well, we have talked about a fifth, babe.”

You freeze mid-sip. “We have not.”

He shrugs, sipping his coffee way too casually for someone who just got betrayed by his own sperm. “We have, though. Kinda. That one time. Remember? After Kaito got his head stuck in the railing and you said, ‘we’re not ready for another yet’ and I said, ‘yet?’ and you glared at me? That’s basically a convo.”

“That was not a conversation. That was a threat. And the answer is no. Absolutely not. Shop’s closed. The bakery’s burned down. My oven is out of commission.”

“You’re not even thirty! The oven’s still fully functional.”

“Oh my god, stop calling it that. I am not making another tiny version of you.”

“Why not?” Hana pouts, now tugging on your pajama pants. “You make cute babies.”

“Stop complimenting your way into a sibling,” you snap, putting down your mug. “Chuuya, please tell her no.”

Chuuya lowers to Hana’s level, all dad-voice and soft smiles. “Sweetheart, Mommy’s just tired. It’s a big decision, y’know?”

You glare daggers. “You make it sound like we’re debating on getting a puppy.”

“I mean,” Kaito mutters, still trying to microwave a Capri Sun, “puppies don’t cry for three months straight.”

Kenji, the calmest middle child ever, chimes in thoughtfully: “Babies also poop on your lap. Again.”

“EXACTLY!” you gesture dramatically. “We’ve been in the trenches already! I have served my time! I want peace! I want quiet! I want to be able to sneeze without worrying about bladder betrayal!”

Hana’s lip wobbles. “But… I already picked the name…”

You narrow your eyes. “What name.”

“Pickle.”

You blink. “Like the.. the food?”

“Yeah. Pickle Nakahara. Isn’t it cute?”

Chuuya chokes on his coffee, wheezing. “It’s got a ring to it, honestly—”

“Do NOT encourage this..”

“Pickle would be the best baby ever,” Hana insists, now on a full-blown campaign trail. “She’d wear bows. I’d teach her how to hold a spoon. I’d share my gummies, except the red ones, and I’d be nice! For one whole week!”

“That’s a lie,” Kyouko mutters.

“YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE.”

Chuuya wipes a tear from his eye from laughing. “You gotta admit, she’s persuasive.”

You cross your arms, exasperated, staring down your husband like he just suggested naming your fifth child Brine Jr. “This womb is done, Chuuya. Over it. On strike. If you want more kids, go split like an amoeba.”

“But babe—”

“No.”

“Baby—”

“Nope.”

“What if I do all the night feeds this time?”

“You said that the last two kids and still fell asleep face-first in a diaper.”

Hana gasps, now looking at her father like he’s a fallen soldier. “You lied to Mommy?!”

Chuuya’s panicking now. “I DIDN’T LIE I WAS JUST—!”

Kenji holds up his hands. “I don’t think babies are a good idea. You guys yell a lot.”

“We are passionate,” Chuuya argues.

“About Pickle,” Hana whispers dramatically.

Kyouko rolls her eyes and stands up with her cereal bowl. “I’m gonna start packing now for college. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.”

“I am never giving birth again,” you hiss, grabbing a banana and dramatically peeling it like it’s an act of war. “I’ve earned my freedom.”

“…So you’re saying there’s a maybe?” Chuuya grins.

You chuck the banana peel at him. “I said no.”

[meanbossart]

Just thinking thoughts about Orin and Drow lore, and idk if this has been asked already, but

If Orin had just disappeared for like a year, not even Sceleritas could find her, with how obsessive pre-tadpole Drow was how would he handle that? Aside from being prideful and murdery, I don’t remember in the pre-tadpole Drow lore about any instance (after he made it to the temple) of him expressing anything else. Did the two ever have a wholesome moment?

Hmmmm not wholesome, no. I'm sorry to disappoint people who might wanted to see a more explicitly vulnerable side to both of them at that stage in their lives, but that's just not... How I envision things. I don't think anyone born into the temple would have had much room to express themselves in the way average people do.

What they did have was an undeniable connection and mutual understanding. This lasted for about 7 years, so between ages 18-25 for DU drow. (Canonically he's currently 28, give or take). I think that, sometimes, they also silently understood among themselves that things weren't always fair or good.

This might sound like a whole load of nothing to some people, but based on the culture within the cult, Orin's story, and the behavior of everyone involved in it, it seems huge to me that two people who were essentially groomed to be the embodiment of murder would harbor any kind of care for one another, even if it was subtle. The fact that they could share a bed, talk shit about Sarevok, and seamlessly work together and share in the glory of their deeds as equals is what intimacy looked like for them - before DU drow's ego (and the very need of a more explicitly intimate connection with someone, to be fair) got to his head.

They killed together, they rolled around in blood together, they bickered and fought and one time Orin stabbed him in the gut and DU drow punched her jaw out of it's socket. Then they flopped down on the ground and cackled about it while Sceleritas rushed in to stop the bleeding. Is that wholesome? I think for deified bhaalspawn who know nothing but that life it's the closest it gets.

There had to have been quiet moments I'm sure. Like Orin waiting around while DU drow got ready to go somewhere, him adjusting her headpiece, Orin slicing her brother's long hair off when he first arrived and looked like some sort of sinewy wood's creature. At night, they probably laid in bed in silence and sometimes stared at each other until either fell asleep.

I am very interested in not inventing an obscured, soft side to Orin that we didn't get to see, you know? While she wasn't always the level of manic we see in-game, she was completely unfit to function normally due to her upbringing, and this reflects in her relationships. DU drow is also undeniably emotionally stunted, just in a slightly different way.

I got off rambling to no one's surprise LOL but to answer the first part of your question - I don't think he would have been quite as dramatic about Orin just up and vanishing, as there's no explicit suggestion of death in that. He would have been insufferable to be around for a while, but in that scenario I could see his duties keeping him busy.

Not to mention that, while through death, she would be leaving him unwillingly - disappearing with no trace implies the uncomfortable possibility that she truly, honestly, just didn't want to be around him. That allows room for contempt and bitterness to fester until you wrongly convince yourself there was never any love there at all, even if just to soothe your own conscience.

He would have just become a much, much worse person that way in the sense that he would have nothing to focus on besides for his lord's will - as horrific as his attitude towards Orin was, it is very much a human feature to desperately cling to connection. With Orin around, he had a little bit of fucked up tenderness and love in him - it was a personal desire completely separate from his "job", a vestige of free-will. Without her, he just has Bhaal and whatever Bhaal wants.

Orin has always unwittingly anchored him, and then, later freed him. And he never ever deserved any of it.

🤷

[yuyu1024]

Escape

Pairings: Yoongi × y/n

Genre/tags: Arranged marriage

Warning: 🔞🔞 smut/angst, mention of food/eating, cursing, sensual touching, making out, needy/clingy, Pet name, lies, kink, unprotected sex, Smoking, jealousy, insecurity, mention of weight&food/eating, oral (m/f receiving), mention of blood/violence

~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 5.8k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: continuation of Prisoner.

I hope this is a good part 2. 🙏🏻 took me a while coz idk if i should or not. 😅 sorry guys.

(This may continue a bit more...? But please be patient 🙏🏻 as I do have work & usually I try to write before i sleep but lately i've beeen so tired and drained that I cant even function 😅)

***

Another day, another event to go to. You are wearing your best 'pretend' smile. The smile you have practiced for months, to be your default expression whenever you meet anyone in any formal event. It's not that your trying to be fake. You just want to represent your husband the best that you can. And being a shy person, this is what you can do to help yourself.

Although, you wish, that even just one time, Yoongi would show up to these events with you.

At the first month of your marriage, he did. He did that to introduce you to everybody. You could still remember how you two were holding hands and always together. Those were the days when you have spent so much time with him.

But... Now, it's just always you. Alone. Amongst everyone in the whole place, you are the only one who always arrives with no partner.

"Excuse me?"

You twirl around and find the prettiest girl you think you have ever seen in your life. She looks like a goddess.

"Ahm, yes?" Your voice sounded so weak. You haven't said a word in the last hour.

"You are the only one wearing a corsage with a hint of lilac flowers in it... I'm guessing... you are Yoongi's wife?" She asks

"Ah, yes. I am." You look down at the flower pinned on your chest

She's smiling at you. She looks sort of happy to see you. "Finally... I've met you."

You haven't said a word. You are not sure how to approach this. You have no idea who she is and why is she approaching you. Plus, You are sort of intimidated by her. She is a beautiful, a sophisticated woman. She have this energy from her that says she is different than anyone else. You could feel your difference with her. Though you are covered with all highend brands of clothing and accessories. You can still see it.

"Oh, sorry... if I'm invading your personal time..." she says, "I am a friend of Yoongi... well... an old friend... from University" she explains. "Sarang."

"Oh." You smile and bow. "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Y/N... I'm sorry... I've not met any of his friends yet so...I didn't know..."

"It's fine. I understand."

She looks like she came from a regal family, the same level as Yoongi. Also, her beauty.... takes your breathe away. She remind you of how you reacted the first time you saw Yoongi. In awe.

"Thank you for coming here also..." she says as she walks you around the gallery. "I hope you find something to your liking here that... would be a part of your home or either a gift to anyone you love."

As you two talk more, you learned that she's the one that threw this charity event. She gathered all these arts from known artists, to auction. She says that 100% of the earnings from it will go to the children's hospital that she have been donating ever since.

You have just met her and you are already at amazed by her. Not by just her prominent looks but also the way she talks and speaks her mind is very inspiring and uplifting. Because of her words you find it easy buying two items in the collection. You know all of the money will go and be used for something good.

You chose the items, the two that caught your attention the moment you entered the gallery. Both are paintings of a beautiful flowerfield which reminds you of your past. The field where you would always go with your friends and have picnic during summer break.

Such beautiful memory that you wish you could've not taken for granted. You wish you could re-live those moments again. And the paintings, those paintings you chose might go well in your own study room.

"It's nice meeting you..." she says, cutting you from reminiscencing your past

"Thank you too for inviting us.. though... my husband couldn't come..."

She smiles, lips pressed together. "He hasn't changed at all. Not very social and just focused on just working..."

Hmm.. The way she talks, the way she describes your husband is very detailed. She seem to know him pretty well. 'They are friends' you say to yourself but then at the back of your mind, a thought, just a tiny thought about him and her, is peaking through.

'Is she an ex of his?'

'If not an ex... probably... someone who liked him?'

I know, this is no place nor time to think about these but you can't help it.

Look at her and then you look at yourself. You two are totally opposites. From status to looks. And probably from personaly to intelligence. She is more than you. She is perfect. You think that he and Yoongi might or will get along more than you and him.

"Ahm... I ahm..." you start to feel uncomfortable with all of your self pity thoughts. You need to get a hold of yourself. "Sorry... I'll... I'll just go to the bar and have some drink..." you say as you clutch on to your dress.

"Oh. Okay." Sarang says. "You want me to accompany you...?"

You shake your head, "No... thank you... don't mind me... please go ahead and tour the rest of the guest." You say pointing at the newly arrived guests.

You turn around immediately before she could response again.

This is weird. You're not sure why you suddenly have the urge to drink. Even though you don't drink. Also because, you can't. Literally, can't.

You only drink red wine when you are offered to drink, by Yoongi of course. It's only when he asks you to join him during nights when he needs company or if you two are to discuss things about the family.

You don't drink also because you are a lightweight. You get tipsy and red easily. One time when you had more than three glasses of red with your husband, you instantly changed personality. You have no idea how and what changed besides the stories that your maid said the day after which were embarassing.

You have no recollection of anything besides the fact that you were on the sofa, inside Yoongi's home office, butt naked and only have Yoongi's blazer on you.

"Mrs. Min, what can I get you?" The cute guy behind the bar asks as you reach your destination.

"How... do you know who I am?"

He smiles, "We had the lists of the guests coming tonight... with photos." He pours water into a glass

"With details...? who can and cannot drink... I suppose?"

He nods. "Your husband noted... to not serve any alcohol to you Miss."

"Even... I want to? Or... pay?"

"I'm sorry Miss..." he says, "If you like we can offer you our non-alcohol champagne?"

You sigh heavily. You badly want to drink. Even just one glass to calm yourself. But...you can't. Yoongi have rules and you cannot avoid and disobey them.

He does give you the freedom to do whatever you want but when it comes to what not to do or what he likes, he have a handful.

1. Don't cut your hair short

2. Don't drink when he's not present nor ordered by him

3. Don't leave the house without atleast one body guard

4. Don't wear perfume (he gets dizzy)

5. Use the safeword during sex

And etc.

The rules are quite simple. Nothing to weird nor to hard to follow. It's just you compromising. And also, you do have a hard time saying no to Him.

"Thanks." You mumble, sighing as you take the glass of water and walk away from the bar.

After figuring out you can't drink to calm yourself, you decide to just go somewhere outside, away from the crowd and peaceful to get fresh air. Lucky you, you found an exit that leads you to the garden.

As time have gone by, you're not sure how long have you been there, staring at the fountain, the flowers and even starring down at your feet every now and then. You thought being out here will leave your head empty. Not worrying about anything. But then you'd catch yourself pouting and comparing yourself to all the ladies you have seen in the event, especially the last person you have talked to.

Your self pity and low self-esteem is thriving today than usual. Is it the lack of sleep? Or because of the one guy from earlier giving you a judging look that made you regret wearing the dress you picked? What happened?

These thoughts are not very helpful. Especially lately, well probably more on daily basis, you do wonder why Yoongi chose you. To marry.

They've said, more particularly his parents said, that he didn't like the ones they suggested for him; so he decided to pick you. To marry you instead of those women who is on the same level as him or close to his family's wealth.

Odd isn't it? Why would someone like him, an elite bachelor, pick a girl from a lower class family to marry? What did he see in you? What made him randomly pick you? You are not special, inexperience about life and not alluring as the other girls in his world. What did he saw? How did he even saw you? You were sure you two never met before. So did he hire someone to find a daughter from a poor family or what?

Instead of clearing your mind, you suddenly had these outburst of questions.

"What are you doing here?"

Your eyes widens after hearing a familiar voice. You didn't dare to speak. You just slowly turn your upper body around to see him, walking slowly towards you.

He's wearing a tuxedo. His hair is slightly slicked back and his scar. His beautiful scar. It's him.

You can't believe what you are seeing. He's really here. Why? He's been away for a week because of work and when did he came back?

"Y-yoongi..." you mumble, standing up

"I asked you..." he says as he stands right in front of you. Then you see his eyes darts down at your glass of water, sitting beside you. "Your bodyguard said... you asked for a drink." He looks back at you, his expression is so serious.

"I ahm... sorry..." you lower your gaze.

"You know... you can't drink."

"I'm sorry..." you whisper softly

"Let her have fun." A woman's voice says. "She just wants to have a glass of wine. It won't hurt."

Slowly raising your eyes, you see her, Sarang, standing from afar from you and Yoongi.

Her stance at this moment is unidentical to her persona earlier. It feels like she is a completely different person, though her appearance is the same. Something shifted.

"She did an amazing job.. representing you earlier." She adds

Your eyes then goes to Yoongi. You want to see his reaction to the angelic woman speaking. You are curious. No one talks to him directly like that, blunt and straight forward, even you.

Sarang is brave to talk casually to him.

"Ready the car..." Yoongi finally speaks after a monent of silence. Ordering one of his men to move.

That was it?

"I'll return the items. Keep the money. I don't care." He says while he's looking at you, straight into your eyes. Though you know, even his eyes are on you, he's not actually speaking to you.

"Yoongi le---" she tries to speak again but he didn't allowed it.

Yoongi just slightly turned his head to give her a side eye. He is not pleased. "My wife and I are leaving..." and then takes your hand to hold onto. "Let's go home..." he says that only you can hear.

"Ahm...ahh... okay." You say, lost by the sudden fierceness from him

***

"Get in." He orders you

Carefully climbing in the car, you move to the other side making sure there is a space betweem you two.

"Home please." Yoongi says to his driver as he shuts the door.

"Sir." The man answers, nodding and then pushes a button that closes the opening between the driver to the passenger seat of the car.

We are now isolated.

He looks so tired. Looks like he just came back and went straight to event to pick you up.

"I have my driver with me... you could've rested at home." You say

He sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm fine."

Did he purposely pick you up because he wants to see you? Did he missed you while he was away for a week?

Your mind is filled with questions and curiosity but you cannot dream of these questions to be real. You have to remember, he just married you because he have no other choice. There is no love in between you two. You are married by paper only that is worth a lot of money. Everything you are doing for him is to repay all of his kindness to you and your family.

This is all just a fantasy. A beautiful fantasy.

"Come closer..." he softly says. His eyes are still shut but his arm is arching, gesturing for me to take place in then. "Y/n..." he opens his eyes, calling my name. You scoot over his side. He immediately puts his arm around you, making sure you are close. "You're shaking..." he utters as he goes back to closing his eyes, resting his head back. "You're almost naked with that dress of yours..."

"Sorry..." you say looking down at your knotted fingers. "I thought it will look good....that's why I wore it."

He sighs. "You do look good..." then he shifts in his position and makes sure you're looking back at him. Then he starts leans in, to kiss you.

"Wait..."

He pauses, confused by your reaction. You have never denied his kiss before.

"I'm sorry..."

"What for?" He asks

"Well..." you look to the front, where the driver is. "Do we just kiss or..." you whisper

Yoongi didn't expect your question which made him smile. "It depends." He is looking straight into your eyes, your face are just inches away.

"He might hear us..." you whisper

"I don't fucking care." He moves forward and finally catches your lips.

***

After travelling for almost half an hour, you finally reach home.

"Welcome home, Miss..." The maid greets the second you slide out of the car. she then sees Yoongi, coming out from the other side of the car. "Master!" She bows again. "Welcome..."

They are suprised to see him. They didn't expect him to arrive with you. Looks like none of them knew he went to pick you up.

"Do we have anything to eat?" You softly ask the maid, then you realized that it's already late and that they have to rest too. "Oh... Sorry... never mind... you may go and rest." You give her a faint smile.

Then slowly walking towards the elevator, you could see your husband's reflection through the glass doors. He is busy already with his phone.

"Y/n..."

You glance up, peaking through the reflection. He is walking towards you. So you wirl around and waited for him to stand in front of you.

"Ask your assistant to remove all charities or event under the Lee's tomorrow. Even parties." He says as he undo his bow tie. "And... to not accept any invitation from them...again"

"Why?"

He didn't answer. No answer means he's serious.

"Okay..." You just answer before turning your back at him again.

Thinking about what you are in his world is heart breaking in a way. You are nothing but someone he owns. You just go with the flow of his world.

Yes you do had an idea what you've signed up for but its still shocking nonetheless how everything is unfolding and is doing.

"Aren't you getting in?"

You look up and see that he is in the elevator already, waiting.

"S-sorry..." you say before entering. You try your best to not make eye contact with him.

After both of you settled in, the maid follows and taps on level 3. That is where both your rooms are.

Oddly, Yoongi taps on the Upper ground after her. "Can you please cook something light before you leave? My wife needs to eat." He orders

"Yes, Master." She answers just in time when the elevator stops on UG.

"We'll both be down after we shower and get rested a bit."

"Understood, Master." She exists the elevator, bows and immediately walks off.

'My wife'. It is the second time he said that today. He never says that.

"Don't skip meals." He mumbles as the door closes

You didn't answer. You didn't mean to skip a meal or two today. And maybe a few days before too. You were nervous. One main reason is the dress you're wearing right now is very revealing. A satin black backless maxi dress. You wanted be perfect in the dress thats why, even though you know it's not achievable.

*pings*

The elevator door opens on level 3. You step out and about to turn to your wing when you hear him call your name again.

"Where are you going?" He asks

"T-to my room..." you sound so weak, "To shower..."

"Shower here." He says, suggesting the shower in his wing. Meaning in his room. Meaning his bathroom.

"Hmm?" You are lost in translation. Why is he asking you to shower there all of a sudden.

"To my room." And then he undo the first two buttons of his shirt.

"W-what? Why?"

He didn't say another word. He just continued to walk off towards his room leaving you.

"W-wait..." You take two steps forward but then stops.

"Y/N...." you hear the heels of his shoes stop hitting the marbled floor. His back is facing you. "I said, shower here. I didn't ask you to decide." he then turns around and you see his white top basically open now. "Will you go and shower with me or do you want me to peel that dress off you and carry you to my room?"

Flusttered by his remark, you just released an unsolicited shaky breathing. "Ahm... yes... I'm... I'm coming..."

***

[Flashback to Yoongi's side]

(Earlier... as soon as Yoongi arrived at the charity event)

Some of the people in the event went silent for a few seconds the moment they saw you enter the building. They all didn't expect you to show up since your wife was already present. But of course, they still greeted you with a smile and tried to make small talks. They want to be on your good side. They know what you are capable off. What power you hold in this world.

However, you don't care about these fuckers. You dropped by because you received a call from your wife's bodyguard that Y/N is not looking okay.

"Where is she?" You ask the man standing behind you.

"She just left the bar, Sir. And went out to the garden." He reply.

"I see."

One step, you just took one step and somebody already stands in your way to your wife.

"Look who's here."

"Sarang." You say her name, bitterly. You are not expecting her to be here.

"You have been ignoring my invites for quite some time now... I thought, helping others is one of your goals in life that's why you work 24/7?"

"I thought this event was by the Lee's?" You hiss at your male assistant.

"It is, Sir. By--"

"Lee Do-Hyun..." she cuts off the assistant. "My husband..." she proudly says. "Aww.. That kind a... hurts my feelings...that... you have no idea I got married..."

"I don't keep tab on people who's not important to me."

She scoffs but she sounded a bit insulted and her ego got hurt. But she's good at pretending that it didn't bothered her. "You say that now...but a few years ago... I was your muse..." she tries to move closer to you but your body guards stands in between quickly.

"Was." You look away from her and try to search for your wife through the window not far away from where you stand. "My mistake for socializing to a liar, back stabbing... leech like you." You say, then giving her a side eye. "I wish your husband good fortune... or that he loves spoiling you... or esle... he'll found out his wife's true color..."

You're about to walk away, again, but this bitch still wants to talk to you.

"You think... she'll not get tired of you? Of you controlling her? Especially getting married with you... with no love at all?" She snorts a laugh again. "Or maybe... she will not..." she mumbles under her breathe, "Now... It figures... why you picked someone from a low class family... someone with no choice but to stay with you because her family needs your money. I see..." she laughs again, "poor girl... if I were her, I would milk you all of your money so it will be worth it... after all she married a controlling, dominant, and a freaky person like you."

You know Y/N is not like her. She is a nice person. She's not into money like this bitch is. However, you do think about how Y/N thinks about you and her marriage to you.

You admit that you are very controlling when it comes to her. It is one of your negative trait that you cannot put away. It comes natural with you because of the life you have been brought up and your business. You want things to happen in your way and you are also possessive. You do try to controll it when it comes to her but you are not sure if you are doing it right.

Well how could you know, you never talk about it. Even with your wife. You never asked about her feelings and opinions.

"Watch your mouth." You mumble. "You might think you know me from the years we've been together. But you haven't seen half of what I can and would do... if anyone picks a fight with me.." you glare at her. "Consider this a warning."

[End of flashback from Yoongi's side]

*************

"Miss..."

Slowly opening your eyes, your eyes carefully adjusted to the light. You could see the ray of sunshine peaking through your dark thick curtains.

"Miss..."

You turn your head to the side and see your maid bowing.

"It's noon Miss..."

"Oh."

It has been a quite a few days now, since you start waking up this late. You are usually up early. You are a morning person. You also do jogs or walks around the property and sometimes go to the home gym to move, always. But something shifted in your routines.

You are tired, less motivated and no will to get up your bed.

"I think we need to call the family doctor now, Miss." The maid suggested. "You've lost a bit of weight and you look pale."

"I'm fine." You say as you push your duvet off your body and slide down off your bed. "I'll take a quick bath..." you mumble

"Understood." She is ready to come along with you.

"No... I'm fine... I'll just go alone... just prepare food for me please."

"But... Miss..." she usually prepares your bath and always stays with you there. After the little accident you had a year ago when you first experience a hot bath on the tub. You fainted because you fell asleep. Too much enjoyment and you forgot it is not good to stay long in there.

"I'll be fine." You smile and requested for her to leave

"Okay Miss... but... I will be back after half an hour to check."

"Sure."

You slept last night, wearing your silk robe and your fancy cream nightgown, his favorite. You were expecting Yoongi to come home last night as per usual schedule. But he didn't. He didn't even informed the staff that he'll not be home for a longer period.

What happened? You don't know.

The last time you talked to him was the night he asked you to come to his room and shower with him.

Everything that night was magical. For you atleast. But then you ruined it.

When you both entered his dark room, he immediately clung onto you. He held you like everything depends on it. It was more intemate and hungry than the usual and you liked it for some reason. After all the self doubt and insecurity you felt in the party, the intemacy made you feel more than what you feel.

And when he peeled off your dress from your body, you didn't expected him to go down on his knees and lick your soul out of your body. His tongue did more than you know he could do. It brought you to another level of high. And you didn't know you could screech like an animal because of it. He really made sure you are on cloud nine or even beyond that.

"Fuck me... please..." you begged him after you knees weakened and fall down the floor where he is.

"No." He said. He was sturn. "No request for tonight." He said and then he positioned you underneath him where he could properly see you crumble because of him.

"Y-yoongi... please.... I need... I want to come..." you begged

He brought you to cloud nine but then hold onto your pearls when you were about to orgasm.

"I'm punishing you right now..." he said as he lowers down and starts to run his tongue from your chest up. "Next time... don't wear any sort of revealing clothes...when I'm not around.. do you understand that Y/N?"

"Y-yes..."

"Another rule to add... are you okay with that?" He hummed the last words on your ears before he let both his hands squeeze your breast. "Answer me..."

"I don't... mind..." you were squearming underneath him. He was playing your nipples then. "I... I don't mind... Yoongi..." you repeated, pleading.

His punishment continued for another few minutes. It was too much. You were struggling catching your bliss but he's playing you. However, you are patient. You know his kinks and you know what he wants and so you do whatever and accept whatever. Coz you know it is from him.

"Scream my name." He grunted as he pounds you with no mercy.

You were holding on to his massive bookshelf on the wall, your legs were lifted and hanging over his forearm whilst he was thrusting deep in you. You were getting hurt from your back hitting the shelves but it didn't matter. You don't know why but for some reason you can endure everything just for Yoongi. Even pain.

"Nnggghhaaa..." you threw your arms around his neck as he went faster. "Please!" You cry on his neck. "Aaaahhh!!" You screamed the orgasm you have been keeping for a while. You felt relieved and content.

And as you two were catching your breath. You uttered words that surprised the both of you. You said 'I love you' to Yoongi.

It should not be a surprise. You two are married right. However since yours are different from others, those words were never said or mentioned ever after the wedding. It is like a forebidden phrase though there are no rule about it. It's like an unspoken deal that no one says those words since THIS.. YOU TWO... is just a fantasy. You two got together with no love. It is not real. You are just one of his property.

And so, after that night. That magical night for you ended up into this cold, quiet and empty prison. Again. You are back to nothing.

You thought you are on a journey escaping that confinement. You thought that something is going to change. You thought... that you were wrong about him. But who are you kidding? You were just having sex like you used to. It is nothing special. It is the same crap. So you saying you love him is... worthless.

"Did I even mean it?" You ask yourself as you lay down in your hot bath. "I said it... after sex.." you are trying to understand how those words slipped out of your lips. If it all just happened because of such high from the sex.

You can clearly remember how you said it. You paused, looked into his eyes and carefully said it. You know you said it with the intent for him to hear it but when you saw his reaction. It made you realize what a big mistake it was.

"Am I having feelings for him?" You mumble as you lower yourself more into the water. "I should not right?"

You know the answer to your own quesion. Look at him even ignoring you for almost two weeks now. Who are you even kidding thinking it will have an effect on him?

After the 'I love you' incident, He eat dinners without you or he let you eat first before he comes out of his home office. And then when he leaves, he does not inform you now. You just get the news of him flying off somewhere from your maid. Even his men are being cautious with you. He must've ordered them to be distant but at the same time protect you.

How funny that these are his responses to you. You know you deserve it but you're a little bit hurt, your not going to lie.

"Who am I for him to love?" You sigh. "Maybe... I should just prepare myself for the ending of this fantasy..."

*********

"Master." The maids bows as they suddenly sees Yoongi enter the main entrance while they are all cleaning.

Yoongi have not been home for a while. He has been... busy.

"Give them all my clothes." He says to his right hand man. "Sorry if it's quite a lot today." He then says to the maids as he removes his black coat revealing his white button up shirt, stained with blood. A lot of it. No one reacted to the visual that is shown. All the staff are used to it. They know how his world is.

"Where is she?" He asks as he loosen up his tie

All the maids in the corredor suddenly turn heads to the youngest one at the end of the line. She is Y/N personal maid.

"Master." She steps forwards and bows again. "Miss is in her bath."

Yoongi frowns. "Alone?"

"Ahm..." she suddenly stutters. "Sorry, Master! She... Miss wanted to... alone... but I told her after half an hour I will go back."

"How long has she been there?" He then throws his tie on the ground.

"Twenty."

"Okay." He takes a deep breathe and tries to collect himself. "Just go and be on standby in her room. She can't stay any longer."

"Okay, Master." She bows again and briskfully walk back to Y/N wing.

"Are you not going to... visit her Sir?" His male right hand asks. "She have been messaging you since..." he pauses for a bit. "And calling too."

He didn't answer. "Ready my bath please." He orders and just continue walking his way to his room.

"Understood." The man replies

"She can't see me like this." Yoongi mumbles as he walks

"I see..." his right hand man smiles at his master's response.

"Why are you smiling?" Yoongi asks, one eyebrow up.

"Nothing, Sir."

"Just spit it out."

The right man, Mr. Kim have been Yoongi's right hand man ever since he was in his teens. Mr. Kim saw him grew up and be the man that he is now. And for sure, if something changed he would be the first one to notice

And now, the tiny changes in Yoongi's mood and decisions, He might not know or see it but it is obvious for Mr. Kim. He knows it is something about his wife.

"2nd week of your marriage, Sir. She saw you coming home with a bloody lip and injured knuckles. You said you don't give a damn if she sees you looking like a murderer."

"So? What's your point?"

"It's just lately...."

Yoongi pauses and turns around to see Mr. Kim, wearing a smile.

"What are you implying? Just... say it."

Mr. Kim bows and says, "Nothing Sir."

"Hmmm..." rolling his eyes, he continued to walk.

*****

"Miss..." your personal maid rushes in your room, "Master have return." She says.

To her suprise, she sees you standing in the middle of the room, wearing your bathrobe and a towel in your hair already.

You take a deep breathe, not letting your eyes look away from the view you are seeing from your window, a clear blue sky.

"Miss.. shall I prepare your clothes?"

You close your eyes and then removed the towel wrapped around your long hair. "Please..." you softly answer

"What do you prefer to wear today, Miss?" She asks she she begins to walk towards your walk in closet.

"A black dress..." you say as you follow along. "Maybe the one with the longer sleeves."

She nods and then continues to search for the dresses you have that matches your description while you on the other hand looks at yourself in the full length mirror while you undress from your robe.

You stare at your body and see how you thin you are. Not super thin but thinner than what you used to.

It's your own fault. You have been skipping meals when you are stressed and it's not good.

"Miss?" She then lays three dresses on the sofa in the middle, for your choices.

"The middle one." You says.

You then open the drawer for your undies to grab a black lace matching underwear.

"Ahm, Miss...?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to eat with Master, in the dinning today?"

"Hmm... what did he say?"

"Nothing. He just asked me to stay with you when I told him you are in your bath."

"Did he say if he wants to see me?"

The maid didn't answer.

"I guess not." You scoff as you getting into the dress. "Just bring my food in my study room. I'll eat there while I do some reading."

"Understood." She bows and exists the room.

"I'm not gonna wait for him anymore." You say to yourself while looking onto the mirror. "If he's going to avoid me or ignore me... then... that's what I'll do as well..."

Starring once again at yourself on the mirror, you look at your face and then your eyes goes down to your belly.

"I have to learn to go on with my life... with or without him..." you mumble. "I should start to escape this fantasy... a dream that maybe the 'us' will be something."

Part 3 - Twilight

[chil-aglia]

𝐃𝐨 𝐈 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐦? |ROTTMNT| (Male OC)

[So, I'm stuck with you?]

Be sure to read the tags on my Ao3 so you guys know what you’re getting yourselves into.

Art above is done by me. PLEASE feel free to make your own art and idk tag me in it or something—

Warnings: None really

And of course, a quick thank you to my awesome beta reader @cimmerian1275 who helped me out a lot with this chapter! Very talented and please, go give them a follow, like their work, etc.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Young Leo had never been so cautious, yet so curious in his life before until now. He was kept on strict bed rest with hourly check-ups from the turtles and Draxum, it took him about a week and a half to get used to their sudden visits and to remember all their names.

He was bored but lacked the energy to actually get up and move around, mostly because he was a little…hesitant on walking.

He… hadn’t actually walked before, and he didn’t know how to function or control his body properly. He barely spoke unless he asked a question that he had to answer, such as if he was in discomfort or if he remembered anything.

That… that was another thing he was still trying to comprehend. The brothers (as he learned that they were family) kept referring to him as ‘Leo’. And had told him that he was their ‘leader of the Resistance’.

…

Honestly, he had to tell them to stop the information dumping as it gave him a pounding headache whenever he tried to take in all this knowledge in such a short amount of time.

‘Leo’… it didn’t sound right to him. He wasn’t sure why or how, but he just had a strong sense that he wasn’t this Leo that they kept calling him by. 

He wanted to tell them that. But…

Maybe he didn’t have the heart to tell them how he felt, maybe he didn’t actually know if he himself was right about that gut feeling. He could be Leo…right?

Nights where everyone had left him alone were the most bizarre thing for him. Because every time he figured he was drifting off to sleep, he would just… feel a presence hovering somewhere nearby. As though they were right next to him. And he swore… he swore he heard a voice every now and then distantly talking, but he could never pinpoint where it was even coming from.

Which was the predicament he was currently in right now. It had struck 11:00 pm according to the clock on the wall (how could even tell the time? He didn’t remember learning how to read it when he would wake up still in stasis and Draxum was there, talking to him before he would go back to sleep).

Young Leo couldn’t keep his eyes closed for very long, sleep constantly seemed to elude him.

He felt that presence again. This time it was stronger, like it was actively trying to grab his attention. What was it? 

He shook his head a little out of frustration, and tightly closed his eyes just trying to will himself to sleep out of sheer determination.

Sleep… sleep… sleep… slee—

He gasps, eyes flying back open, but his vision wasn’t met with the dim landscape of the med room like it should have been. No… he was in some kind of dark place. No light seemingly visible.

He felt in a strange way, detached, like this was some sort of trippy dream.

Except he knew it wasn’t. Or at least, it didn’t feel like a dream. 

He took a step forward through the void—

Wait, a step?

He looked down at himself, blinking in utter puzzlement. How was he standing? How was he walking? Perhaps a trick of the mind, he didn’t quite understand.

”Weird…” He mumbled under his breath in confusion, before he froze upon a strange tingling feeling that prickled at the back of his neck. Someone was watching him. Somewhere in this void space. He sucks in a sharp breath, gulping as he opens his mouth to speak.

”Show yourself…!”

He coughs; his inexperienced vocal cords weren’t quite ready for him to be shouting, even in this weird head-space. “Show… yourself.” He demanded again, less shouting involved as he wearily gazed around at his surroundings, turning in a circle in hopes of spotting someone.

“—is way…!”

Huh?

It was faint, but there was a voice echoing to him. He turns around, this time recoiling in surprise when ahead in the distance he spotted a blue glow, pulsing in and out as it captured his attention. There was a tugging feeling in his gut that encouraged him to creep closer, like he was tied to an invisible cord pulling him forwards.

He hesitantly walked one step. Then two, and finally set course. He was slow though, clearly unsure about this strange light that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Or… was it even a blue light?

The more he seemed to get closer, the more he began noticing a silhouette beginning to take form, standing still, waiting for him to approach and be at arm's length.

”—almost… to me!”

They were shouting for him. Waving their arms out in his direction.

Who…?

He stops, suddenly becoming aware that maybe… this could be a trick.

A trap of some sort, or a very trippy dream. What was going on? Who even was this? And why… Why did they feel familiar but also unfamiliar? Like a stranger that he had never met before, but also had?

His legs were moving again. Closer and closer and closer…

He halts, stopping to stand directly in front of what he first presumed was just a blue light. But upon closer inspection, it wasn’t. It was clearly a turtle, a very tall and broad turtle.

One that looked… quite unnervingly similar to him but older, but with less stripes visible on his arms. From what he could briefly remember that Draxum spoke to him about when came in and out of consciousness during stasis, his specific species of turtle is known as a Red-eared Slider.

And it was unmistakable that this older turtle was the same species as him. They both had lime green skin, a mustard yellow plastron, and a green-blue carapace with a teal pattern. Two red crescent-moon-like stripes arced over their eyes, yellow stripes on the upper arms, black eyes, three fingers on each hand, and two toes on each foot.

But this turtle was donning a blue bandana with tails dipping down his shell, dark blue fingerless gloves, and a similarly blue belt. Attached to the belt were a pair of blue pouches (one on each side) and a familiar-looking emblem that he noticed the three brothers wore on their clothes somewhere, but with this turtle, it was placed in the centre.

They wore dark blue pants, dark blue footwear, and white wraps on their arms and calves. 

Tying it all together, they wore a blue hooded scarf.

With black eyes staring directly into young Leo’s, they opened their mouth.

”So… you’re the one I’m stuck with?”  

Whether they meant it to be sarcastic or lighthearted, young Leo just couldn’t seem to understand, let alone process what he was looking at. He knew who this was, he didn’t know how, but he somehow did.

What?!

How should he respond? Fearful? Surprised? It was pretty much a given that he must have looked utterly shocked to the other turtle in the void.

“Y… you’re—“

“Leonardo? The one that my brothers have been calling you, for the past couple of weeks now?”

Oh, he sounded agitated. Wait… why is he mad?

“You’re the one inside my head.” Young Leo bit back, glaring slightly as the older—no, the real Leo, who blinked down at him, probably not expecting such a sharp response or tone from the total stranger. “Trust me, I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to be. But, it would seem like I don’t have much of a choice.” 

No choice?

Ah, right… Mikey did mention that he’d saved Leo’s soul and transferred it into his younger body. So, that must mean he literally has no way of leaving now. Not that he would know how to get him out.

Hold on… since this is Leo, who had turned away from him, seemingly mumbling under his breath about ‘getting stuck here’ and ‘the Resistance needs me’.

Young Leo froze upon a realization.

He wasn’t Leo. How could he be when the ‘leader of the Resistance’ he’d been hearing about was standing right in front of him?

If he wasn’t Leo… then, who was he?

“Hey, kid? You okay? You’re kind of staring off into the nothingness right now.”

Young Leo—hm… maybe he should call himself something else—blinked and focused back on the actual Leo, who had been watching him carefully, arms crossed and invisible brow raised in mild curiosity. The way he acted and even held himself gave off the impression that he was quite the important figure, so sue him if he was a little lost upon discovering Leonardo apparently lived inside his head.

“I’m fine.”

Leo didn’t say anything in response, as though he was thinking deeply about whatever it was that scratched at his mind. With an exhausted sounding sigh, Leo shakes his head and rubs at his temple, “This is the worst… I need to get back to doing my job, but I can’t like this.” He grumbled under his breath, tapping his foot repeatedly on the floor as he spoke.

Young Leo—who still needed to pick a new name for himself since that was taken— could only observe, biting his lip, feeling as though he was maybe somehow at fault for Leonardo getting stuck in this situation they’ve both found themselves in…

Was he supposed to even be here, instead of Leo?

Was Leo going to take control of his body?

Was he stuck here permanently?

What is he supposed to do in this situation??

Leo gazed down at him, staring wide eyed as he groaned and placed a hand over his face, shuddering briefly. “Kid, I can’t read your thoughts, but from what I can tell, I’m able to sense your emotions. So just… calm down for a second and let me think.” He somewhat snapped, narrowing his eyes at the young mutant who nervously stepped back, squinting his own eyes indignantly back at the older turtle.

Before either of them could speak, they were interrupted when a muffled voice could be heard calling out, it sounded familiar, the two turned to try and figure out where the voice was even coming from, but both were suddenly blinded when there was a bright light shining at them.

When they did manage to get some of their vision back, rapidly blinking to clear the daze out of their eyes. Leo noticed what appeared to be a control stand of some kind in the middle of the vast void, resembling a podium of sorts. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but it felt rather important and not something to ignore, he walked over before stopping just in front of it, tilting his head.

Young Leo followed after, standing next to Leo as he observed the foreign object. What was it?

He was the first to reach out, grazing only the tips of his fingers against the middle of the glowing… screen? Panel? Before jumping back when a blue light shot out from the middle. Neither of the two had even managed to think about what was happening when two hazy circular holes opened up ahead, the sudden brightness briefly burning their eyes as the two circles blinked open and shut.

It was like they were eyes.

No wait… they are eyes.

“—eo! You with us?”

What?

Young Leo stared up at the two larger eyes ahead of him, recognising a familiar face in view. Donnie was waving his hand in front of him, shining a little penlight at his eyes.

Young Leo briefly recoiled from the strange transition before he finally felt like he was back in the real world. No void surrounding him. And no Leo standing next to him.

He blinks, flinching back and slapping Donnie’s hand away from his face, grumbling to himself as he rubbed at his eyelids. Donnie leans away and quickly pulls up a holographic screen from his tech gauntlet on his wrist.

“You were out of it for 15 minutes. I was becoming worried. How do you feel? Tired? In any pain? Do you know where you are right now?”

Shut up… my head hurts.

Is what he wanted to say, but he kept his mouth closed, still processing what he just went through back in that mindscape of sorts he seemed to now be sharing with Leo.

Leo!

That had him sit himself up straight and grabbing Donnie’s arm, looking wide eyed up at him. “L-Leo!” He coughs out, clearing his throat as it felt dry and raspy still. Donnie only watched, looking at him in both concern, yet suspicious of his behaviour.

“Are you remembering that you’re Leo?”

In response the young mutant couldn’t help but glare, shaking his head slightly as he tried to figure out how to say what he wanted to tell him.

“Leo’s..n-not..me!”

He hoped that statement got through to Donnie. And judging from the conflicting look he was receiving from the soft shell, it seemed Donnie had heard what he said. But what he said seemingly wasn’t the response he was exactly hoping for.

Donnie pulls away, humming to himself and typing away on the holographic purple screen. “Subject is experiencing what sounds to be a severe case of amnesia and possible delusion. Subject also seems to be having difficulty understanding who he is. Strange… his vitals seem to be in working order—“ Donnie began to rant to himself, standing up and pacing around the room. The young turtle felt a little like he hadn't truly been heard.

He’s not Leo. Leo was inside his head, yes, but he wasn’t him!

“D-Don—“

Because of his inexperienced vocal cords, he couldn’t say much without stopping to cough, sounding as though he was choking on his own words. He lifted his hand towards his throat, the feeling of having difficulty breathing in and out straining his body.

Breathe, damnit!

His vision gradually became a little blurry, like he was on the verge of passing out.

Breathe, breathe, breathe—

A harsh pat on his shell had him gasp in a greedy and sharp breath of air, his eyes widened and flickered around to see who did that, but no one was near enough, Donnie was in the corner mumbling to himself, focused on his note taking.

“I got you, kid. It’s all right.”

Leo? How was he able to help him breathe normally again? He actually felt someone slap him on the shell, but… but that was impossible.

….right?

Taking in bigger gulps of air, he calmed down as much as he could, body trembling slightly from the overwhelming pressure but he was able to keep himself propped up right, watching Donnie turn back to look at him, his face furrowed.

“Leo—“

“Not… Leo..”

Donnie paused, and looked a little bit baffled at him. “…Um, okay, if you don’t want to be called Leo, then… what should I call you?” Donnie asks, whether it was because he just wanted to make him feel more comfortable around him or for some other reason that he couldn’t quite understand, the younger mutant thought about it.

What should he call himself?

His eyes narrowed down at his lap in deep thought, beginning to recall bits and pieces of memories he had when he woke up from time to time in that tube.

…..

………

Oh, he knew now. A faded memory of a time Draxum was reading to him. The first time he woke up.

He’s surprised he can even recall that.

He didn’t recall the exact story of whatever book Draxum was talking to him about, but a name kept popping up that seemed to grasp at his attention quite a bit.

Caden.

He didn’t dislike the name, if anything it sounded pretty cool, and it wasn’t even difficult to say, so there was that too.

“Caden…”

Donnie hums in acknowledgement from the name. “Caden, huh? Very well.” Donnie agrees, nodding his head and clearing his throat. “So, Caden, are you feeling all right now?” He inquires, mentally taking note of every detail, no matter how minor, that he spotted as he observed the turtle in bed.

Young Leo—no—Caden, shook his head. “Not… really.” He replies, wincing a little bit at the headache he felt, “Head… m-maybe?” He adds, noticing the way Donnie nods along with him, “Your head hurts? Did you bump it?” He asks, leaning over and gently guiding Caden to lean his head down so that Donnie could look at the back of it.

“Not sure…”

Donnie didn’t like the sound of that, but he didn’t want to potentially alarm or trigger anything by mentioning it to Leo… ah, guess he should call him Caden now, huh?

“We’ll keep an eye on it. Here, have some water, get some rest. And we’ll continue to monitor you more tomorrow.” Donnie explains the plan, handing over a cup of water to Caden who hesitantly takes it and sips at the beverage.

Donnie pauses for a moment to observe, before he sighs and walks away, heading for the exit. “Good night, Leo.” He says, walking out and leaving Caden in the dark.

“….I’m not Leo.”

-----

Mikey always was the one to try and cheer up his brothers, and offer his help wherever he could. He’s always been a nice guy, and the Resistance really helped him show off the caring and empathetic nature of his.

Mikey knew Leo must’ve been terribly bored sitting in that med room all day, for the past couple of weeks. And he could tell something was eating away at him, sometimes he’d walk in and just see him staring off into the distance with a blank and distant look on his face.

Donnie had told them of his recent discovery a couple days ago, where Leo kept insisting to be called Caden. Mikey didn’t quite understand, but if it somehow made Leo feel more comfortable for the time being, then he’ll give it a try.

The mystic warrior wandered the halls, heading towards the private med bay where those with more severe injuries or illnesses resided. It was also just far more spacious than the usual med bay they had. Leo often said that he wished to make the medical rooms bigger and more comfortable for everyone, but Donnie would shut him down about it and call it wishful thinking, also something about not having the space or equipment for it at the moment either.

Mikey hums along to a tune from one of the opening scenes of a Jupiter Jim movie that he’s adored since he was a teenager. Such a shame he didn’t have time to watch movies these days.

What he would give to have an old fashion Hamato movie night marathon again…

Arriving in front of the door to Leo’s room in the med bay, he carefully creaks the door open, poking his head inside, in case his older brother who was in a younger body was asleep.

He froze when he noticed the bed was empty, making him panic inside as he urgently scanned the room.

Oh no! Donnie’s gonna be so pissed at me for letting Leo escap—

His mind paused mid panic, looking over at the corner of the room in utter bewilderment and disbelief. Leo was standing. Or trying to at least, using the wall as support to hold himself up as his legs trembled like a newborn deer’s.

Leo was panting and sweating, gritting his teeth and gripping at the bare wall for something to hold onto. It was both fascinating and concerning to watch. Mikey figured that Leo probably shouldn’t be trying to walk by himself, but he also knew that he was incredibly stubborn and that this was also potentially a great big first step for recovery.

He’s shaking…

Mikey frowns, watching how the young mutant's body was shaking and trembling quite a lot. Even letting out a shuddering exhale. He most certainly had to be cold, given how he wasn’t in the warmth of the blankets in the bed and had little to cover himself with right now.

Mikey wondered what he could do to both help Leo from freezing his tail off and to hopefully help him gain back his memories.

His cloak!

Mikey beams at his idea, quickly turning back around and scuttling down the hallway towards the direction of Leo’s bedroom.

He felt rude for passing by members of the Resistance without stopping to say his usual hello and check in on how they’re doing, but he could do that another time when he wasn’t so busy with something else more urgent.

Reaching Leo’s room, which was far from where the usual sleeping quarters were for the Resistance members, Mikey flings open the door and looks around.

It was clean, surprisingly. Raph probably tidied it soon after Leo was transferred to the underground lab, floating in that stasis tube of his.

Mikey walks to the wardrobe, opening it and scanning the area for a certain shade of fabric. He remembered putting it in here when they first brought Leo back from the battlefield.

Please don’t tell me Raph moved it… oh, here it is!

Mikey picks up what he was looking for. The big cloak that Leo would always wear. But it was dirty and still had some dried blood staining it.

Mikey grimaced at the pungent smell of it too. It was a good thing he was going to wash it, otherwise Leo might actually die from the stench alone.

Mikey jogged out the door and headed towards the laundry room, which was mostly just a room with cubicles of running water and soap for people to come in and wash their clothes if needed. The brothers shared a small cubicle for their clothes, less of a hassle and gave more room for others who had to clean their clothes.

He eagerly dips the blue fabric into the water, grabbing a bar of soap and scrubbing it as hard as he could to clean off the grime and blood. Oh, how he misses washing machines that would do it all for you.

He didn’t quite know how long he had been scrubbing for, but it was long enough for his arms to begin aching something fierce. He pulled out the blue fabric and was satisfied with the end result. No blood. All clean looking, and smelt fine.

“Now for some mystic dry cleaning.” He muttered, using his abilities to wring out the water, drying it off in an instant. Draxum often told Mikey to not waste his powers on ‘frivolous things’ and simple tasks like drying off clothes, but it wasn’t like this was actively hurting anyone.

Proud of his work, he exited the laundry room and made his way back to the med bay. He wondered if Leo was still trying to walk or if he gave up and went back to bed.

Guess he’ll find out when he opens the door that he soon found himself standing in front of, once he’d turned the corners of the hallways in the direction of the med bay.

He grabs the handle again and opens it carefully, peeking inside to see that Leo was currently still struggling to keep up, he didn’t look like he had moved all that much and he was mumbling to himself, like he was talking to something. Should Mikey let Donnie know about that?

His body was shaking still, and that was more than enough reason for Mikey to confidently waltz in, smiling down at young Leo and draping the cloak over his shoulders. Young Leo, who insisted on being called Caden, stilled at the sudden feeling of being engulfed in something so abruptly. Blinking, he looks over towards Mikey who smiles down at him.

“I cleaned your cloak. Figured it could help with your memories having something familiar, and stop you from shivering so much.”

Caden could only stare, flabbergasted that he didn’t even sense Mikey coming into the room or even approach him. He was so distracted on trying to get his body to move and obey, that everything else was obsolete and unimportant for him to be paying attention to.

Wait a second, his cloak?

Caden tilted his head in confusion. He didn’t have anything that belonged to him. Coming to the conclusion that this was Leo’s cloak, and that Mikey was still claiming that’s who Caden was.

“Thanks…”

Mikey smiles, perking up in hopes that this was helping with the memory problem.

“But I’m not Leo.”

Mikey slumps his shoulders, frowning before he catches himself and instead chuckling awkwardly, rubbing the back of his nape. “Right, Dee said you’re going by Caden now, right? Cool name, where’d you pick it from?” He asks, hiding away the disappointment he felt at the lack of progress, but Caden catches the look, which causes him to tilt his head away from the young Hamato in guilt.

“A book… Draxum read to me.”

“Barry read to you?”

“In the tube…”

Mikey ‘ahh’ at the comment, before softly chuckling. “Is that how you’re able to talk? Normally if someone was in stasis for a long time, they’d have trouble talking, right?” Mikey hums in thought at his own question, whereas Caden just shrugs his shoulders.

“Maybe.”

He grips the cloak around his shoulders, his legs wobbling a bit from lack of support of the wall as he turns around to face the direction of his bed, he hesitantly steps forward, clenching the cloak in his hands tighter as he quietly made his way back to the safety of the mattress. Mikey watched, hovering nearby in case Caden collapsed or needed some support.

But he didn’t, and managed to climb into bed without assistance, dragging the blue cloak across to rest in his lap. “Um… you did well for your first time walking! Been practicing?” Mikey curiously wonders, as Caden hums in response. “I wanted to get used to walking. I don’t plan on staying in this med bay the whole time.” He sternly states, his face briefly morphed into one of grim determination.

Mikey for a moment saw Leo. That was the same face he made when he was set on something. It made Mikey’s heart flutter happily, Caden, as he liked to be called, may insist he wasn’t Leo, but that familiar expression alone had given Mikey a spark of hope.

“Sure, whatever you say bro.”

He ignored the indignant look he received from Caden as Mikey walked by, patting Caden on the head and waving goodbye as he skips out the room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thus the start of pain begins

APOLOGISE FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES THAT WERE MADE, I TYPE PRETTY FAST AND OFTEN DON’T SEE THEM UNTIL I ACTUALLY PUBLISH THE CHAPTER. THEN I’D TRY AND FIX ANY MISTAKES WHEN I SEE ONE.

Quotev - Do I Look Like Him?

Ao3 - Do I Look Like Him?

First Chapter here

Next Chapter here

Taglist:

@turtl3sk3tch3s

[t-a-a-1]

More Than Meets the Eye

Ch.2: RedStar Rising Pt.1

TFA Optimus X F!Reader

5k

Summary: Being a rising journalist is difficult. Especially when you have to live a secret criminal life. Things get worst when you start to fall in love with your enemy, Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and hero of Detroit City.

You believe the feelings can't be mutual. Yet, he slowly starts to notice that you are more than meets the eye.

A/N: Lots of yearning. Jealously. Enemies to lovers?? You are a journalist who is also a criminal. Idk. Takes place between Season 1 and 2 of TFA.

Chapter 2 : RedStar Rising Pt. 1

...

Cleaning up the city was not on the Autobots’ favorite thing to do-list. But as they continued to destroy things, there wasn’t much they could do. As Earth’s stemmed guests, and to keep a good Cybertronian-Human diplomacy, they had to do things they weren’t fond of. 

“Come on guys! We can’t slow down!”

They started working in the morning. Non-stop. The sun is starting to die down and the stars are rising. They didn’t have an Energon break. Prime was way too focused on cleaning everything to perfection to even care about his programing demanding fuel. 

“But Boss-Bot, we have been cleaning up piles of junk for hours! We need a break!”

Bumblebee was the first one to complain, but it’s all it took for the rest to follow along. 

“I would certainly need some oil after this,” Ratchet says as Bulkhead smiles at the thought. He too would be delighted to drink some good quality oil.

“No, we need to finish this first. By tonight.”

Optimus insisted, his voice not like his usual self.

“Optimus, the mind and body needs to be properly rested to continue functioning,” Prowl steps forwards, talking directly to Prime who wasn’t acting like his usual self. “Unless, there is a certain urgency or reason behind why you want to finish this up so quickly?”

Yes, he had other reasons. But that doesn’t mean he is ready to tell them. It was hard to express. He can’t tell them that he wants to cause as little disruption as possible to the humans. More specially to a woman he met not so long ago. Now that he has a broader perspective on things he understands how every single doing has an impact on the city. Tragically, you were right. Earth was a safer place before they arrived. 

But he can’t tell them that. He can’t tell them that the reason behind his desperate need to repair what is broken is to help … even if that help is significantly small. 

“You guys are right, but you all go ahead. I’ll stay and finish this up.”

The Autobots look at each other. With wondering and confused faceplates. 

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely.”

Without much objection the Autobots transformed into their vehicle form. 

“See you at the base then.”

They roll out, leaving Optimus to finish things up. 

He looks around. What used to be a hospital building, a place that was made to heal, was turned into debris. They were lucky that they were able to evacuate the humans that resided inside. But after that, not once, he wondered what happened to them. Were they alright? Were they able to continue their healing process? Were they still … alive?

Up until now, he had paid no attention to that matter. His spark feels ashamed as he remembers his past. 

Ultra Magnus was right … He was no hero. 

Optimus keeps working. Moving big rocks, wires and dust. It was getting late. The night had fallen and the stars decorated the dark sky. He thought of going home, recharging and then coming back early in the morning. But as he was moving the last debris of the night, he found something shining underneath it. A small fragment of the AllSpark. 

He holds it on his servo and before he could call it a night, he feels something impact him from the back. 

Optimus falls to the ground, the fragment escapes from his servo, rolling away from him. Turning slowly, his optics focused on a tall purple figure. 

“Slipstream."

Optimus' voice is weak, the strike behind his back still affecting him. 

The femme bot walks past Optimus, making her way to the fragment. Slowly, picking it up, a proud smile decorated her faceplace. Her snarky pose infuriated the Prime but he was too hurt to do something about it. 

“Well, I’ll be taking this.”

Quickly transforming into her jet form, she flies to the sky while Optimus curses for not being able to keep up with her. 

“Looks like you are not good with lady bots either.”

It’s a full moon. But all he could see was strings of short red hair. Black suit with a white mask and red lipstick that could be as bright as the sun. The figure uses a line-launcher, sending a rope and attaching it to the forehead of the bot who was still laying on the group. Ziplining her way, fearlessly, she ends up right in front of Optimus optics. 

“Thankfully, for you, I could teach better manners.”

A villain or a hero? Optimus couldn’t tell but he had his suspicions. He has the suspicious lady right in front of him. He watches as she elegantly steps in the ground, bringing back her line launcher to her belt. Finally allowing him to stand up straight. 

“And you are?” 

Optimus asks, this was not the best time to be bothered but the woman’s appearance caught his interest. 

“That’s not of importance. I know you and that’s all that matters.”

She speaks in a seductive voice. Her confidence was admirable, being able to stand in front of a giant robot whose intention is unknown was something to be applauded for. 

“And how do you know me?”

Without notice, the mysterious figure uses her line-launcher again, this time pointing at Optimus’ shoulder. Quickly, she moves through the wind and closes the massive height difference. She takes a seat on Optimus’ shoulder, his face-plate quite close. 

“I read about you in the newspaper. Besides, where else would I find such a tall, handsome mech?”

Even when he was aware of his aesthetically pleasing appearance, he still wasn’t used to compliments. In Cybertron, saying such things to other Autobots was not fit in society. On Earth, it was a different story. It was a sign of interest, of courting. And he didn’t know how to feel about that. 

“What do you want?”

“I think we can help each other,” she says, enjoying the fact that she made the Leader of the Autobots blush. “Slipstream and I have unfinished business. But I am kinda small and can’t fight her myself. You help me take her down and I can tell you where she is.”

“What if you just tell me where she is and I do the rest?” Optimus still doesn’t dare to look at her. Instead he focuses on her warm body on his shoulder and her voice near his audio receptors. “No offense but I don’t enjoy putting humans in danger. Much less involve them in Autobot and Decepticon affairs.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little bit too late for that?”

She looks to the side and Optimus follow’s her eyes. The hospital building was destroyed and still a proof of the irreversible damage the Autobots have caused. Simply because they couldn’t keep their ‘affairs’ within Cybertron. 

“Besides, I am no regular human. I can take care of myself,” she says. “I just need a ride and you need directions.”

Optimus keeps looking at the building. He can rebuild it many times but how many will it be torn down again? How many others would be injured because of his actions? If he accepts, then he might endanger another human life. But if he lets Slipstream have the fragment of the AllSpark, he would be endangering many more. 

“Where to?”

.

.

.

The roads are quiet, especially when there is no path to follow. Just trees and a few hills to go around. This time, Optimus has decided to take more into consideration a person’s safety. This time including a seat belt for the passenger and driver seats. Even when his guest didn’t seem interested in them. 

“You can go faster if you would like,” she puts her legs on his board. Now he notices her heels, pointy.  “I want to get there soon.”

“I would feel more comfortable speeding if you put on the seatbelt.”

Optimus takes a moment to inspect the lady who sits comfortably on his passenger seat. She wore a short black dress made of a fabric that looks shiny but durable. Adjusting to her body, enhancing her curves but also flexible and easy to move around. She also wore black gloves with the palms being red just like the bottom of her heels. 

“Oh, it's the Leader of the Autobots concerned about my safety?” She puts her hand on his shift gear. “I am flattered.”

It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling but he would rather feel the flesh and warmth of human skin and not the coldness of gloves. It’s not like he was craving contact but he wouldn’t mind either. Especially when she was being so gentle about it. 

“Not so long ago, I had a not so pleasant experience with a human who got hurt while she was inside my vehicle mode,” he says. “I just don’t want a repeat.” 

“How considerate of you,” she has a certain curiosity. She touches him in a peculiar way, as if she was afraid to hurt him.  “Are you like this with everyone or just people you like?”

“Does it make a difference?”

“More than you think, bot-boy.”

He can’t believe he is getting nervous. 

“Just tell me what you know.”

The mysterious woman smiles as she stops with the touching. Leaving him wanting for more. 

  “Slipstream has secretly been building copies of herself with an abandoned government laboratory. All she needs is a fragment of the AllSpark to turn her plans into reality.”

“And how do you know this stuff?”

“That’s my job, I just know things. You just have to trust me.”

There is a beeping sound coming from her GPS device. Signalling to them that their desired location was nearby. If they weren’t on a mission, this place could be a nice hangout place. Optimus likes the city but he also enjoys the pretty views of nature. 

“Well, I can’t be very trusting if all you say is vague responses, lady.” 

“Alright then, what if we drop formalities?” she takes her feet off the board, excitement in her voice. “I’ll call you Optimus. Calling you by your first name should build a stronger sense of trust.”

“And what should I call you, then?”

“If we make it out of this alive, I’ll tell you,” she makes a little pause and then puts a string of her hair back in her ear.  “A little something to keep you motivated. Unless you want me to give you something else?”

“What else could I want from an organic?”

“Well, a little affection wouldn’t hurt you,” as if she was reading his mind, she takes one of her gloves off and slowly passes her fingertips through his board, brushing a few buttons on the way.  “When was the last time someone caressed your chassis?”

“That’s not a topic to be discussed with a lady!”

His headlights start blinking, his processor stops functioning for a second. 

“You are so fun to tease, you must be really popular with the femme bots … and ladies alike.”

She whispers way too close to his window, the warmth of her breath against the coldness of his window made him feel … uncertain. 

“Just concentrate on the mission at servos.”

.

.

.

The cave was well hidden. It would have been impossible to find if you didn’t have a localizer. 

Optimus takes a look at the lady in front of him, who blended perfectly with the night. Only the moonlight and the stars illuminated the area. 

“Would it be too late to ask you to stay here and let me handle things?”

Optimus asks once again.  

“The fact that you are even insinuating such a thing is an insult to my persona.”

Optimus ex-vents and looks inside the cave. It’s dark but from here he can hear the steps of Slipstream. 

“You handle Slipstream and I’ll get the AllSpark fragment. Sounds good enough for you?”

She takes out a large metal stick and moves it skillfully. Her eyes land on him, waiting for an answer.

“Let’s do this.”

The element of surprise was their best option as Optimus uses his integrated ion blaster to shoot anything that didn’t look Autobot friendly. Starting with the many duplicates of Slipstream in many capsules. The femme copy of Starscream was not expecting this but she wasn’t going to let him demolish everything she worked for so easily.

“If you are destroying this place, I’ll take you down with it!”

Slipstream clicks a few keys on her massive computer, on the screen, a timer appears. 

One minute until detonation. 

But it was just not that. It had become too late and the Slipstream copies had become alive. 

You were nowhere to be seen but the fragment of the AllSpark was right in the middle of the base. Encapsulated in a crystal case. 

Using his ax, Optimus looks around only to find himself surrounded by copies and not a single trance of you. 

Had you left him behind?

As one of the copies points her integrated laser gun at Optimus, he knew he won’t be able to cover himself from the attack. He just hoped that it wouldn't be strong enough to take him down. 

But as the projectile was about to impact his face plate, he saw a tiny human protecting him. Directing the bullet to the crystal box the AllSpark fragment resided in, shattering into pieces and free to grasp.

“That is as much force as my energy pole will be able to take!” the woman takes out a gun. It didn’t look human-made but as she shot, the damage of the bullet made the same impact as a Cybertronian weapon would. “Get the fragment, I’ll cover you!”

He didn’t hesitate and felt strange at the thought of feeling safe with a human. Regardless, he quickly stretched out a servo while he used his axed to protect any other incoming projectiles. 

30 seconds. 

“A good leader knows when to retreat.”

Slipstream transforms into her jet mode, flying out of the cave with a stream of chemtrails following behind her. It was hard to see now. Projectiles were coming from all directions as the other bot copies kept shooting their ion cannons. 

Optimus gets a hold of the AllSpark fragment. And as soon as he does he transforms into his vehicle mode. Moving in a way where she ended inside on the passenger seat, he adjust the seat belt for her and starts driving.

10 seconds. 

But another projectile was following them. Without taking into consideration Optimus' wishes, the woman in black decides to take off the seatbelt and come out of the window. Climbing on top of him. 

“Are you crazy? Get inside!”

She takes out her energy pole and using all of her strength, she swings it. All the kinetic energy that had been stored from the previous attack has been released by impacting it by the incoming projectile. Not only destroying it but also giving them the impulse that they needed to get out of the cave just in time. 

.

.

.

“Did you see the Slipstream face?! She leaked her exhaust pipe for sure!”

Optimus moves freely as he was excited that this mission went so smoothly. 

“You weren’t too far behind, you looked so worried the moment I didn’t show up.”

The sun is starting to rise. 

After the mission, she insisted on going sightseeing. She knew a spot. An abandoned handing bridge. It wasn’t big compared to the other populated ones but it was peaceful. With pine trees on the side and a small river passing under. The sunrise in front of them. 

Optimus had to mass-displace. Not because the bridge was unsteady or small but because he felt the need to feel a bit closer to her and see the world as she does. 

They sit on the edge of the bridge, their feet hanging as they look into the horizon. 

Both looking at the vastness of the sky, she decides to break the silence. 

“Do you ever miss your home?”

“Yes, all the time. But I know I am doing a greater good for Cybertron if I stay here,” Optimus doesn’t look at her but instead looks at the beautiful scenery in front of him. It was peaceful, something he wanted to protect. 

“The Decepticons are out there planning something. Cybertron and Earth will not be safe if we don't stop them.”

“Would you leave Earth, once that’s done?”

“Well, if there’s nothing left to do here and its people are safe, then yes,” Optimus feels the wind on his faceplate. It’s cold but he doesn’t mind. But he unconsciously gets closer to the lady, shielding her from the winds,  just in case it was too cold for her. “Don’t tell me you’ll miss me?”

“We only met a few hours ago, do not flatter yourself.”

“You have to admit, I think you and I make a good partnership,” Optimus says. “I wouldn’t mind adding an extra member to the team.”

“Sorry, but I do things solo most of the time,” she lets out a heavy sigh, alamo enamored of the view. “Besides I have other things I want to do.”

“What other things, lady?”

She seems hesitant as she takes a few seconds to respond to the question. She took so long to respond that Optimus thought she might not answer. Feeling awkward, he was about to change subject until she spoke again.

“I want to become a writer. Someone who tells the truth,” she says and Optimus finally dares to look at her. He has never been one to find organics to be aesthetically pleasing to look at. However, he has seen humans as squishy and soft looking. He didn’t think of the females to be as winsome as femme bots.

But right now, her eyes shine with the sunlight. And for a moment, Optimus believed he could see the entire universe in her eyes. 

“But to do that, I have to do something first.”

She looks at him, breaking his trance and making a look away. 

“Is there any way I can help?”

She stands up and Optimus immediately hopes she won’t leave him. He had enjoyed their time together and he wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet. 

Instead, she stands in front of him. Even after had mass-shifted, he was still 10 feet tall. But he was sitting and this allowed him to see her face to faceplate. She is getting close and she reaches out a hand. Touching his cold frame, moving her fingers through his faceplate, expecting it. Looking directly at his optics, he didn’t mind. Not one bit. 

“Maybe you can … But in a different way.”

Her face gets closer and closer. Her lips touch his faceplate, leaving trails of red lipstick. Optimus was surprised he is letting her have her way. Shouldn’t he feel repulsed? Shouldn’t he have pushed her away? Maybe he has been on Earth too long and has missed the warmth of a partner. 

This wasn’t right. He couldn’t allow himself to indulge with someone he barely knows. But Primus, he was enjoying it too much. Her warmth was a special one. Not even the fragment of the AllSpark on his servo could compare. It was just a speck of heat compared to the touch of your bare lips.

How much he craved for her to just finish his torment and allow him to taste them. 

And as he looks at her, wishing for more, he closes his Optics. Allowing her to do with him as she wished. He just needs a single kiss–

He can’t move. 

“My theories were right,” you say as you give him a small pat on his faceplate. “Men and male bots are so easy to use.”

Optimus tries to move but is unable. Feeling rather dizzy and sleepy. 

“The pheromones on my lipstick can make any living being enter a state of paralysis,” she walks in front of him, effortlessly moving on the edge of the bridge, with agility that made Optimus know that she trained a lot to be able to make moves like that without being afraid. “With some side effects of sleepiness but don’t worry it only lasts a couple of hours.”

“I must thank you. I didn’t expect it to work on Autobots so you were a great test object. But due to your height, I had to use more product,” she makes her way next to him. Grabbing his restarlueus and her hands make her way to his servo. He is helpless against her touch as much as he tries to fight it, he can’t move. 

“Good thing I had built an immune system against it. Otherwise I would also be falling asleep as of right now.”

She opens his right servo, revealing the AllSpark fragment.

“You were absolutely amazing. I’ll be taking this,” she says “And thank you for the help.”

The lady starts to walk away as Optimus’ optics start to slowly close. He can’t believe he had fallen for this. His confusion starts to become anger and betrayal. Two things that should never be mixed together. 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” she turns to look at him. A devilish smile decorates her face. Now all Optimus wants to do is erase her memories. “A deal is a deal.”

“RedStar.”

She says and that’s all Optimus could remember before falling on his back and drifting on a deep sleep.

.

.

.

There was so much shame on Optimus’ shoulder to even mention what happened to the Autobots. 

But of course, he had to explain in some way or another why he had arrived home until the next day. 

He didn’t mention certain details. Just the basics. And everyone else deemed the night as a simple ‘Boss-Bot Shenanigans.’ Meeting Slipstream, meeting a mysterious lady, teaming up with lady to defeat Slipstream, winning, lady turning out to be a bad person who just used him for her own benefits, lady taking the AllSpark fragment, Optimus paralyzed. The end. 

And Optimus was more than happy to accept his mistake, learn from it and never do it again. 

However, the shame was still present. It was his fault after all. Supid enough to believe that he could ever …

“Do you agree, Prime?”

Captain Carmine Fanzone had invited the Autobots to the police station  to request for their help. He had called a meeting in which all the Autobots had provided their undivided attention. All except for Optimus who was too deep in thoughts. He thought he could ask for details later. It’s not like he can’t say no when humans ask for aid, that's the reason why they are here after all. 

“Yes,” he simply says but that answer didn’t seem too convincing for the Head of Detroit’s Police Department. 

They couldn’t go inside as the place was too small for them. However, they prepared a table for them outside the station. With donuts, and oil. The table was small and they couldn’t eat the donuts but it's not like they were expecting to get a 32 feet tall table just for them. But the warm oil was a nice touch. 

“Well then, just to recap … The American Government has warned us that an anti-robot terrorist group called S.T.E.A.M. plans to launch different attacks on Detroit city to protest against Sumdac’s creations taking over the city,” Fanzone had a white board, explaining the situation. “But we have someone who has an insider on S.T.E.A.M. and they are willing to release information about the location of the attacks.”

“So, you want us to escort this person to meet with the insider?”

Ratchet asks who, although he usually is the one to careless about humans, he knows when something is important and deserves his attention. 

“Yes but to also be ready to dismantle any attacks that might endanger the city.”

“Won’t it be easier for the insider to just tell us the information and we can just go and take down the bombs in the city or whatever?” Bumblebee raises a servo as he looks down at Fanzone. He didn’t have a particular thought about the Captain. He wasn’t good or bad in his opinion. But the fact that he had reached out for help when he wasn’t found by ‘machines’ spoke volumes of the seriousness of the situation. 

“No, they are only willing to talk in person and with the individual they have been exchanging information with,” he points at the board to a picture of a faceless person. “If any police officer goes or is seen, the deal will be off and we will be risking millions of lives.”

He moves his marker to a drawing. A very comical depiction of the police and money. “Whoever decides to escort this person, they also need to keep in mind that you will be escorting 5 Million Dollars. It’s all part of the deal.”

Everyone looks at Optimus who seemed deep in thought. He doesn’t have the luxury of time to think things through but he thought of the many possibilities. Of what could go wrong and how each team member would handle things in case he can’t communicate. 

“I’ll go,” the Prime finally speaks up.  “Bumblee, we will need your speed in case there are multiple bombs to deactivate. Ratchet stays alert in case anyone gets hurt. Prowl, you’ll stay in base to be our main source of communication in case my Comm-Link gets intercepted. Bulkhead, protect Sari and any human who might need assistance. Things might get really bad.”

“Loud and clear Boss-Bot,” Bumblebee salutes as everyone agrees with his plan. 

“Who’s the person who I have to escort?” 

He looks at Fanzone who looks at the entrance of the police station. At the perfect timing, you come out of the doors. Quickly looking around the area, only for your eyes to land on the Autobots and one in particular you did not like.

“...You have to be kidding me.”

Optimus says to himself but it was loud enough for his teammates to hear. 

“Nop,” you say as you walk towards Fanzone.  “Not happening.”

“Ms. (Y/N), we talked about this,” he says. “A police officer can’t go with you, we don’t know what kind of security measures will be taken. If they find out, we’ll be risking the whole city. And you can’t go alone either. What if something happens to you? An Autobot is the perfect cover and protection.”

“Protection? He almost killed me last time we did illegal c–”

You stop talking. Knowing that probably it wasn’t a good idea to tell a police officer about doing illegal car racing with a robot alien. 

“Make out!”

Optimus quickly intercepted, as he also didn’t want Fanzone to know you two did illegal car racing. He didn’t want to give him another reason to dislike the Autobots. 

“We illegally make-out!”

You look at Fanzone at the horrified look on his face. Then there was confusion and then a combination of the two. 

“It’s not what you think!”

Trying to save your reputation, you stand in front of him. But it was futile, in his mind, you had already done other things with the Autobot Leader. 

“I would never do such things with him!”

You point at Optimus who although didn’t know why you were so hectic, he enjoyed your display of distress. 

“Excuse me? You were touching me all night long!” He acts unfazed and even offended. His words only made you redder on the cheeks, it was pleasing to look. “You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.”

“Shut up!”

“What is make-out?”

Bumblebee suddenly asks. 

Optimus wished he knew the answer to that. 

.

.

.

Against your will, tomorrow, Optimus and you will go on a small trip to meet with the S.T.E.A.M insider. 

You lay on your bed, looking at the ceiling as if it had the answers to your problems. 

Your phone rings again.

“I am not doing this anymore.”

You quickly say, you didn’t need to look at the caller’s name. He never missed to call you at the same time. 

“That’s fine but just remember that Alex and his family might receive a visit from us if you don’t cooperate.”

As you hear your ex-lover’s name, your heart aches. They had threatened you with his life before, this past mission you did it because of him. Now his family is getting involved. You had promised a very long time ago to protect the peaceful life he worked so hard to get. 

 “And it won’t be a nice reunion.”

You were tired. You thought you had left your old life behind, that you could start new. But no matter where you go, it always catches up to you. 

“How much more do I have to do for you guys to leave me alone?”

“If you do everything we do, you  might be out faster than you think. You just have to trust us.”

“I have trusted you before and where has that led me?”

“It’s your only option,” he says as he makes a small pause. “Besides, wasn’t the monetary compensation we sent enough for you?”

You look over at the table next to you. Yes, they had given you a good amount of money to live well for the next couple of months for successfully obtaining the fragment of the AllSpark. Dirty money you think of never using it or just donating it to charity. 

“Just a couple more missions. And everyone will be safe.”

You look at the money on your bedside board, next to it, a picture of you, Alex and his family. Your hands were tied. 

“...What kind of mission?”

“I’ll send a package soon with the details.”

Adverting your sight from the picture frame to your wall, you see your black dress. Boots, a pair of gloves, a mask and a short red wig. A symbol of your past. Always a part of you. 

“Welcome back, RedStar.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N: I’ll get back to the Darkest Hour, it’s just that I finished watching Transformers Animated and it has taken over my brain-rot. 

Sorry for any grammatical and spelling mistakes, I don’t proofread. 

And thank you all for the lovely comments and support! It really helps me to stay motivated to continue writing things that I like to write and you all like to read.

That’s all for now. Until the next story!

Ao3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62083819/chapters/158785846

Previous:

https://www.tumblr.com/t-a-a-1/772153325477117952/more-than-meets-the-eye?source=share

[amnesiaguy]

top 5 fic recs

you didn’t specify fandom so this will be all over the place 🙂‍↕️

out of the dead land (captain america) — what can i say? dead best friend back from the dead, trying to pretend like he remembers. the double bluff of it all. a visceral and violent headspace that curdles into something softer as he decides who he’s gonna be. idk. the prose is truly incredible, and the ending is just as satisfying as the beginning

sheppard’s law (stargate atlantis) — i’m always a sucker for time travel & this one reinvented the whole trope. what happens if, through sci fi shenanigans, your best friend’s whole timeline gets fucked? and you, who are (at best) an acquired taste and (at worst) an absolute trial to endure, had to go back in time a dozen times to methodically save him & fix his timeline? and he doesn’t know who you are, so who will you become to him, a mysterious figure who only shows up when he’s in dire straits? and how will that change your life when you finally catch up to him in the present?

sky verse (spn) — ok look. it’s long. it’s sprawling. it’s insane. it’s about a civil war in heaven, through the eyes of people who can’t possible understand the breadth of what’s going on, but have to try anyway. the show never cared as much about how the hierarchy of angels works, in heaven or on earth; this story actually world-builds what it’s like to be an angel in a garrison among many garrisons that are entangled in conflicts as old as the world itself. also dean is there :)

one of the crazy ones (almost human) — everyone has a one season television show that obsesses their mind & its wasted potential haunts them. this is mine. and this story unpacks all of the aforementioned potential in its entirety— what it means to be recognized as a person by the state and what happens when you aren’t; if it’s possible to fall in love & have a functional relationship with someone when there is an inherent power differential that is no one’s fault but cannot be overcome by love alone; the overlap between being disabled and being a robot; what comes next after you take the first step toward wanting to start a revolution. also it’s a cop procedural :)

wherever you will be (that’s where i’ll call home) (inception) — i’ve read this story so many goddamn times, and usually after i have to go home and see my complicated family. it reads really, really true. i love when people move in together accidentally & arthur having a messy jewish family just makes sense to me! the long slow burn of two deeply traumatized individuals admitting they’re in a romantic relationship (while actively living together and navigating their lives together) compels me. also, at one point arthur googles “how to comfort a grieving loved one” and then gets so mortified at himself that he develops a tension headache. this is peak repressed guy literature

[ghostdiva]

TADC Ep 4 Trailer Dropped

I've taken many screenshots, and it's time to theorize about how I think the episode will go.

if I'm right, then there will be spoilers ahead, so read at your own volition.

now, I think that for this adventure, Caine utilized the Suggestion Box, after getting the feedback from Zooble that no one really liked his adventures.

However Caine, ever desperate to keep his guests happy and entertained, takes multiple suggestions at once, and turns them into the retail hell the circus crew is about to experience.

before that tho, I think Gangle gets some advice from Ragatha

This advice might backfire considering what happens later.

Gangle is also given a new mask by Zooble, who brings her to their room to give it to her.

Gangle Checks out the new mask, figuring out how it functions in comparison to her comedy mask. my personal guess is that it makes her more confident and assertive, which might boost her moral, but change her attitude in a possibly negative way.

also a small side note that's completely unrelated: there's not a single shot in the trailer that shows Kinger in this adventure. So it's possible he either sits this one out, or just straight up doesn't get much screen time. We got a small clip of Kinger in the circus, but that was it.

Anyway, as Gangle is trying out her new mask, her and Zooble's absence prompt Pomni, Jax, and Ragatha to go see what's up.

Jax and Ragatha will likely question Gangle about the new mask. Pomni might voice her curiosities on how it works too (it's only Pomni's 3rd day in the digital world, so there's a lot she still might not know yet).

Nonetheless, after checking in with Gangle and Zooble, they all head back to the main area, where Caine sends them to work at Spudsy's.

Orbsman is probably the "quest giver". though this time it's not really a quest, it's more like minimum wage food service hell. despite that fact, he still assigns the employee roles to everyone, making Gangle the manager.

Gangle, I think, would be sheepish about this role at first, however the assertiveness and confidence from the new mask helps push her to step up to the plate. So Gangle starts assigning different tasks to everyone. Ragatha, Jax, and Zooble seem to take on tasks like prepping and making food for the orders, like frying the burger patties, assembling the burgers, etc. and Pomni, who can't cook to save herself, ends up running one of the tills at the counter.

and Jax runs the drive-thru for a bit.

eventually, customers start to come in, most of them being wooden artist dolls. However, Caine did reuse some NPC's for this one, which is unfortunate for those who remember them.

idk how to make gif's here, but aside from the gloinks pulling up to the drive-thru, I think Pomni will end up taking Gumigoo's order. Pomni is understandably surprised to see the NPC she bonded with in the second episode, as she literally startles so hard she falls over.

Incidentally, Gumigoo probably doesn't remember Pomni at all, and Pomni might struggle to hold herself together when she realizes it.

Like, look at her. she looks like she's emotionally breaking, but forcing a smile because well, customer service. She also could just be happy to see him alive. I think she might try to sneak off to see if Gumigoo remembers her at all.

idk what else this image could be, outside of like, picking trash up from the ground or something.

Jax also seems to genuinely hate the Fast Food Adventure, in fairness, very few poeple enjoy the fast food industry.

he also takes a moment to cause some mischief

Anyway, onto the main plot. this episode is about Gangle. and with the pressure of being a manager, Gangle might start to boss people around a bit.

there are a lot of shots of characters looking like they need a break, especially Ragatha.

I think it's possible that Ragatha gets tired and worn down from milling about and completing orders. and despite Gangle trying to hype her up, Ragatha just can't summon the energy to keep going. Poor Ragatha is clearly exhausted, and needs a break to like, put her head down for a bit and relax.

Gangle continues to be somewhat bossy, her behavior worsening as time goes on. we see this as Gangle get progressively more unsettling, almost acting crazed whenever someone complains or voices a problem they're having.

Gangle probably starts off trying to hype up the others to get them to do what she needs them to do.

However, none of them really see Gangle as a source of authority, and thus don't take her seriously until she starts to lose her composure.

in this clip, she seems to say the word "now". and look at her. she's clearly struggling with the stress of wrangling everyone, and getting them to do what has to get done for things to flow properly.

However, (except for maybe Pomni) everyone on this adventure hasn't worked in the food industry, or any job for that matter, in years. they've gone on wild adventures every day instead, which is wildly different. on adventures, everyone is kinda left to their devices, to do what they want within the general confines of the adventure. Following orders, and doing monotonous, intensive tasks, both physically, and mentally, is not something they're used to doing. at all.

Thus Gangle struggles to get everyone to do what she needs to, and snaps from the stress.

I think after she snaps, the mask breaks, leaving Gangle with her tragedy mask. so she goes outside to get some fresh air, startling Pomni.

I think Pomni and Gangle chat for a bit, since that seems to be a theme. Maybe Gangle will just be expressing remorse for treating everyone poorly while wearing the mask. she might feel guilty for pushing them all as hard as she did.

and Gangle carries that guilt with her after the adventure ends too.

it seems Zooble has words to share with her tho, so it looks like she gets to have 2 heart to hearts, maybe.

[fictionkinfessions]

not a confession, but im just curious! mpc, have you ever seen a confession on here that's made you want to get into a certain source?

surprisingly yeah!

homestuck, too dated to read as an adult with a functioning brain in the year idk 2020? ish? I tried the semi official audio book / read along and hated the voice actor sorry couldn't do it. Love the concept but its impenetrable to me. the music is excellent though, I recall spending one full year of listening to nothing but the soundtracks on "repeat 1" for various songs. dance of thorns, eternity served cold, austin Atlantis , creation, violet prince, rex duodecim angelus,, lifdoff, pumpkin party in sea whatevers water apocalypse, THE LORDLING,three in the morning, ok stop typing before you list all the songs!!!

the final fantasy xvi? the one that has ignis and gladiolus, good bird doggies. loved the car 😘

orv, which confused and disgusted me. I dont understand the literary device. it's like explaining a nuclear plant to a bird.

this one childrens horror novel about cursed dolls, cant remember that title sorry. It was ok. I think I'd enjoy it more if I were in the intended age audience for the novel.

the coffin of andy and leyley: amazing story telling about a capitalist hellworld. I can't remember the let's player but def check if it's the latest playthrough since theres been updates.

look outside: fantastic cosmic horror video game btw. dodges stale tropes, no racist lovecraft stuff, as charming as it is repulsive, does not shy away from including child as victims of this horror. I watched this full playthrough commentary. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLANLy0-qcuzTv9L_YAFiHu6edccTsND7J the let's player, CullenDaGaDee, also has a thread on the SA forums which goes into more detail about the game: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4087411

clair obscur: stunning, sad, didnt care for the fighting parts sorry. hated the one black character died at the start but like. I know how french people are like. 👤

I also almost got into danganronpa, but I've never found a good sslp.  I'm not watching 300 hours of vlp, my brain does not allow that.

sort of related but shout iut to Maeltopia folks. I tried your source, could get into it, and was surprised to see you all popping up here. of all the podcasts, that one?!? most people dont like Horror, unless that's just my attention bias.

oh theres also some niche indie horror video games but I can never find the time to play them or the let's plays for them.

so yeah anyways if you also got into a source via this blog, do share?

[paper-possum-party-pal]

Meet The Narrator!

And it appears that there are two other characters to unlock in this lineup!

I’ll give you all the lore for main tsp AU once I reveal the design for the final character, but for now you get to learn about my Narrator!

The Narrator is a being known as an Informis Voxumis that has spent years observing humanity. The Narrator and other beings like him do not have natural physical forms, they’re just a voice/consciousness stretched across planes of dimensions and reality. This existence intersecting these planes can allow them to build physical forms for themselves, but it’s incredibly difficult to do so considering the matter that needs to be pieced together in a functional manner. It’s a miracle that The Narrator would eventually manage to pull it off. Informis Voxumis, or ‘Voices’ for something simpler, existed across the galaxy since near the beginning of time, but their numbers have dwindled to the point that The Narrator and his two cohorts have only interacted with each other, and while there’s still probably more out there, it’s unli they’ll ever meet. There are two more Entities similar to the Informis Voxumis that are also watching over Earth and the three Voices, but that’s a story for another day.

The Narrator’s Bio!

(The Narrators fear and disdain for humanity is completely warranted. Not only are living things, to him, gross meat things that do awful gross stuff, but intelligent mortal beings are fully capable of killing or controlling the Informis Voxumis. How? Oh I definitely totally remember how and am certainly not stalling to tell you when I figure it out)

After spending years watching humanity The Narrator begins to grow bored, and while he’s weary about interacting with any aspect of Earth, he’s become insatiably curious. The Narrator gets the clever idea (in his opinion) to create a human and place it in a little sandbox he’s created to study the idiosyncrasies of humanity.

This is the start of The Parable.

Unfortunately for The Narrator, he doesn’t really know what he’s doing and while he thinks he’s making a completely original human, he’s actually plucked the recently deceased soul of one Stanley and has begun fiddling around with it. The original Stanley is mostly lost in this process, and beyond the few remanents left of Stanley, he is nothing more than a shell of what he once was, so at first he doesn’t really do much. The Narrator then has to tweak Stanley until he can move around, understand orders, etc. This creates a new Stanley with no memories of the past beyond what the Narrator has shoved into him for his character. This new Stanley starts out curious and optimistic, but you know how the story goes by now. He loses that optimism, starts doing everything he can to go against and irritate The Narrator, and they start butting heads. This begins their on again off again friendship and rivalry.

I’m still deciding when in the timeline it happens exactly, but The Narrator eventually makes his human form, partly to prove that he’s better than humanity and that he’d make a great human. Another repressed part of him did it because he was curious and lonely, and the most repressed part of him did it because he noticed how lonely, depressed, and touch starved Stanley was becoming. He doesn’t use it for a long time after making it, he hides it and doesn’t tell Stanley, but eventually he’s given the push he needed to try it out and finally greet Stanley in person.

He is immediately punched in the face.

Stanley doesn’t apologize, which is warranted, but that’s the moment they really start over and try to get along better.

That’s one(ish?) part done. Sorry if I’ve rambled on too much or if it’s disjointed. I’m honestly not used to writing things down like this and I needed to put what I had in my head out into the world. I’ll probably write a more comprehensive document or something, maybe answer questions, idk. It probably doesn’t help that there are certain aspects of this AU that I’m still trying to develop. I’ll need to make a separate things so I can make it clear exactly what’s going on with Stanley.

One final note, my Narrator does share a human name with one of @shinakazami1 Narrator’s from her lovely Ao3 fic “Destiny Surely Likes to Play Tricks” that she made with Taking_L’s. I wanted to make sure they got proper credit, and if you haven’t read it already, you really should! I’ll be posting a link to the fic separately since this post is already long enough.

Congrats if you managed to wade through my idea speghetti, good job! And thanks for all your lovely words in my last posts, it really makes my day!

The first image but without the character shadows

[youremyheaven]

The Absorbent Nature of Venus: An Astrological Exploration

I was inspired to make this post when I saw pictures of Bella Hadid with her new boyfriend, Adan Banuelos.

For context, Adan is a professional cowboy and Bella Hadid used to be an equestrian (she trained for the Olympics back in the day). Bella's new pictures (after a long absence from social media) feature her in all her horse girl glory. But I couldn't help but notice how Bella has a tendency to morph into her boyfriend(s).

This is not to say that she adopts a persona that is entirely alien to her, but more so that she channels one aspect of her personality and lets it take centre stage. With Adan, she is the laid-back horse girl, channelling the side of her that grew up on a farm in Santa Barbara riding horses.

Prior to this, she was dating Marc Kalman who is an art director. Idk how many of you are familiar with those "pov : you're talking to an art director at a party" reels/shorts/tiktoks but Marc fits that bill to a tee. He's the edgy, weird alternative androgynous guy and in the 2 years that Bella was with him, she morphed into a caricature of him almost.

her y2k style had a huge impact on fashion trends/pop culture but it soon kind of became a parody, as it seems a bit over the top to be wearing 25 things that do not belong together.

There was also a drastic shift in Bella's public image; she was more earnest & open; this period also saw her at her fashion nerdiest as she openly spoke about her love of finding and collecting "vintage" designer pieces from the 90s and 2000s. He was the weird edgy art director, she was the weird edgy art kid.

The only other man she dated publicly before Marc was The Weeknd and if you look at her style/persona from this period, you can see a tendency to opt for darker, grungier aesthetics. She herself has called this her "sexbot" era.

Its crazy but almost every picture of the two of them together feature both of them wearing black😂😂

This brings me to what I hope to discuss today, which is the absorbent nature of Venus.

Bella Hadid is Purvaphalguni Moon & Rising and is a Venusian. Venus is the planet of beauty, harmony, love, creativity etc. Venus exalts in Pisces ("exaltation"= it functions at its best). Pisces being a watery sign and the final sign of the zodiac is very telling in this context. Pisces is the culmination of the zodiac and contains the qualities of every preceding sign (this is why they're so chaotic lol, they have too much going on) and in water, which is where life originated, everything is at home. Pisces thus has the unique ability to find beauty in everything; water signs are known for their empathy, intuition and psychic abilities, this is because water holds the qualities of everything within it. Scientists have purported about "water memory" and water's ability to remember is linked to its natives high sensitivity, more than literal memory, its a kind of cosmic memory or inner knowing that I refer to in this context. Pisces natives tend to report psychic abilities more than any other sign in my observation and to be psychic/clairvoyant/clairsentient/claircognizant/ clairaudient is essentially to have a higher degree of empathy/sensitivity than most people. Although in some cases it may apply to tropical Pisces natives, what I'm speaking of here primarily applies to Sidereal Pisces natives.

Its easy to see how water absorbs information and retains memory but we must ponder upon why Venus, the planet of love, beauty etc exalts in a water sign and why so, in Pisces specifically. Pisces' all consuming all absorbent nature is the essential or true nature of love, beauty & harmony, to absorb, hold and possess all that there is and all that there will be, without trying to restrict it or limit it (water has no shape or form, it takes the form of whatever its poured into, pointing to the adaptability of these natives to get along with anyone or belong anywhere). Understanding love as devotion means allowing yourself to be consumed by it, it borders on religious fervour because you're losing all sense of yourself and giving your all. Its to give until you yourself are lost in it, with no sense of boundary between you & God or you and your lover (Sufi poetry extols this).

Only someone who has the ability to have this kind of all encompassing, profound divine kind of love for others, for creation, for source has the ability to connect to the ether and make art. there is a reason why the most spiritual art often tends to be abstract, there is much that cannot be expressed logically or in a straightforward way. much can be said without using language or words, some things are understood in a far more abstract way, its understood by the senses, by the subconscious, not the rational, thinking mind.

Beauty then, is the ability to perceive beyond the surface, there is nothing shallow or superficial about it, it is to understand the sum or whole of something, its essence, its core and understand its value and why its separate from the rest. True beauty then is rare but there is immense beauty all around us. Both these things are true. This is the true nature of Venus which is also the planet of refinement, it sees value in things that are unpolished, raw and original wholly but also in what is practiced, deliberate and refined. Venus is a planet of immense contradictions as the themes associated with the planet itself are contradictory in nature. To know or experience love, beauty, creativity etc one must also be well acquainted with its opposite. There's no middle ground and there's nothing lukewarm, you have to go all in. To understand and appreciate beauty truly, one must face brutal ugliness, to know the nature of creativity or to access it, you must first experience the lack of it. Its out of nothingness that things manifest but this means nothingness must first be experienced.

Sorry to have gone off on a tangent (me with everything I post lol) but its important to understand the nature of Venus in this specific context because its not the other attributes that makes Venus so absorbent of others influence. Its such a creative energy for the same reason, it absorbs and is influenced by absolutely everything. However, it can be hard for Venusian natives to feel as though they have a strong sense of self.

Granted that the "self" is an illusory concept and we are all an amalgam of numerous influences (people, places, culture, literature etc), Venusian natives are more susceptible to lacking true individuality since they absorb projections far too easily. This is also why Venusians are so highly desirable. You can always tell when someone's Venusian or has an exalted Venus, they are projected onto HEAVILY by others, but by having desire projected onto them, they become more desirable. We fall in love with the reflections we see in others and dislike those who project our shadows (this is literally a Jungian concept, v fascinating pls look it up). Venus inspires others to project unattainability, mystery, romance, beauty and desire and the more they see it, the more it manifests.

However this has its pitfalls. Without solid grounding, Venusians turn into chameleons who are constantly morphing into their environment; they are known for their hospitality and pleasing demeanour because of their innate ability to pick up on these cues and behave accordingly. Bella Hadid herself is self admittedly a "people pleaser" (Venusian natives struggle with this a lot).

What does it mean to not have a solid sense of self and constantly be serving as a mirror to others?

We see Bella's shifting style/demeanour/persona with every boyfriend. There is rather embarrassing clip of her speaking with a French accent (juxtaposed against an old clip of her using AAVE). Venusians are more prone to picking up accents/emulating the behaviour of those around them.

The Venusian tendency to absorb can extend to picking up accents, mannerisms, style, self-presentation, persona etc it can sometimes be very superficial but in some cases natives immerse themselves in it so deeply than they live their lives under the guise of a pseudo persona borrowed from someone else.

This video of Bella is a good example. If you've watched her in other videos you'll know that she does not usually speak/present herself this way. If you watch this video of Carla Bruni also discussing her iconic looks (it came out in the same year 2021, several months before Bella did hers) you can see how Bella is emulating Carla in her video.

Now its quite well known that Bella Hadid "copied" Carla Bruni's face through plastic surgery. This is what I mean by some Venusian natives taking the absorption thing too far. We imitate the things we want to embody/what we're inspired by, Venus is a planet of constant refinement/self improvement, while its good to be inspired by people we look up to, it does not bode well for one to embody them completely, stripping yourself of your own identity. This is also why Venus in 12h (Pisces) is said to be illusory. Its hard for these natives to discern what love really is, since their natural inclination is to simply embrace things at face value. This is why they are susceptible to abusive and toxic relationships, simply because they are blinded by their own loving nature and cannot see the faults in their lovers even when its plainly obvious to others (think Bella & The Weeknd).

Let us look at Miss Ariana Grande. She has Mars in Bharani atmakaraka.

Ariana has gone from baby voiced teen star to blackfishing r&b singer to vaguely asian looking in the span of her career.

She's also changed her voice, speaking style & mannerisms MANY times.

I don't think enough people talk about how Miss Grande essentially stole Victoria Monet's mannerisms, voice tone, speaking style etc

Ariana essentially emulated this woman and that was her at the peak of her career. She's to Ariana what Carla Bruni is to Bella.

Its really unfortunate that Ariana changes races every few years like they're a passing fad and this is a really unfortunate manifestation of her Venusian influence.

Her Venusian influence is also really obvious in her music, especially her Bharani Mars because her music is very sensual but also straight up crass and horny, there's also a tendency for her to use revenge-y themes (break up with your gf im bored?? yes, and??)

Claire Nakti had spoken about how this purple blue-y iridescent esque lighting is very Venusian and consistently used in films by Venus natives. I found this true of Ariana's stage sets/design when she's on tour.

god is a woman is a very Venusian coded song/music video, from the colour palette to the Yonic imagery at display.

Brad Pitt is a male Bella Hadid in the sense that he has a tendency to morph into his girlfriends. He went from Cali stoner surfer guy when married to Jennifer to humanitarian serious filmmaker when he was with Angelina. He likes to switch up his persona based on his partner at the moment. He has a Purvashada Stellium (Mercury, Mars & Ketu)

Johnny Depp is known for his broadly European/British accent despite the fact that he's from Kentucky/Florida. He's a Purvashada Moon

Madonna is another celebrity who is notorious for her fake accent. She lived in England briefly after marrying the British director Guy Ritchie and spoke with a British accent.

Many have accused Madonna of being a wannabe Angelina Jolie when she started to focus on humanitarian work & adopted several children in the mid 2000s. She is a Purvaphalguni Moon and Rising.

Camille Rowe (Purvashada stellium; sun, mercury and saturn) is often accused of having a fake French accent as she mostly grew up in America.

Hilaria Baldwin (Purvashada sun) is infamous for pretending to be Spanish, speaking with a fake Spanish accent and giving her numerous children Spanish names despite the fact that she's a plain old white woman.

Austin Butler is by now infamous for speaking like Elvis (he's now working with a coach to lose his Elvis accent lmao), he has Mars in Purvaphalguni as his amatyakaraka.

Lindsay Lohan (Bharani Moon, Mars in Purvashada amatyakaraka) has also switched accents and often spoke with an Arabic accent and has had an on & off relationship with Islam. Its unclear whether she's still practicing the faith but at one point she did convert. I do not mean to ridicule someone's faith or use it as an example of Venusian persona switching but a lot of Hollywood celebrities have a tendency to experiment with Eastern religions/traditions/culture like its some trend or fad and drop it when they lose interest. I do not have enough information to make a clear judgement but LiLo has had an unstable public image to say the least. I sincerely hope she is peaceful and safe.

John Malkovich is another celebrity who passes off as a European even though he's from mid-western America. He has a hard to place accent. He is Purvaphalguni Rising

Aishwarya Rai is known in India for being fake or "plastic" (I'm Indian) she has an unnatural non-Indian accent despite the fact that she's lived in India her whole life. She is a Purvashada Moon.

Numerous celebrities whose public image/persona is incongruent or at odds with their real personality also tend to have major Venus influence in their chart.

Charlie Chaplin is the father of slapstick comedy and is very well known by the persona he created for himself but irl he has been described as "sadistic" (by Marlon Brando and others) and he's known to have been a terrible person all over (multiple teen wives, abusive to his children among other things). He has Bharani Venus conjunct Mars and Jupiter in Purvashada conjunct Ketu

Elisabeth Moss is known for having played several iconic feminist characters but irl she's a scientologist. She has Ketu in Purvashada

This absorptive quality of Venus can also manifest positively. Meryl Streep, Bharani Moon is known for her uncanny ability to do just about any accent and completely blend into her character.

I will add more examples as I find them but for now this is it!! If you think of any others do let me know!!<33

[virginiaisforvampires]

Hi, V! It's been a while since I read the PL books so maybe I'm forgetting something, but why do so many people insist Loumand's 'Trinity Gate' era was overtly romantic? iirc we don't even see them interact. Fair enough if some want to read it that way, but the fact that Anne didn't clarify the dynamic or dwell on it at all made it seem like kind of a non-event in context. Whereas the Loustat reunion got a ton of narrative focus and was explicitly romantic. So idk why some Loumand shippers act like Trinity Gate is this big gotcha, when even in the book it's ambiguous at best, and in the context of the show it would be nonsensical? I wouldn't care but it's mostly coming from show fans who dislike the books, and yet they're clinging to (& imho misinterpreting) obscure VC lore to try and justify their "soft Loumand" headcanons. Even though the show itself decimated those headcanons more brutally than Anne ever did! Not only was show!Armand's betrayal far worse, Louis was never in love to begin with, he found Armand boring & was longing for Lestat the whole time. The writers wouldn't have made these choices if a romantic rekindling was on the cards (& the idea of a Loumandstat "throuple" is just laughable atp). I swear, some of these fans don't even understand the show they claim to love, let alone the books.

Hey!

It’s because they’re desperate for Loumand to be on the same level as Loustat, and it’s just not and never was and never will be, and the show has crushed that relationship even more than Anne ever did in the books, and they’re big mad and grasping at straws.

I explained the Trinity Gate fanon here and explained what was actually happening with Louis and Lestat in the Trinity Gate era here.

It was not a second Loumand romance. Louis and Armand were not “together” or “raising kids” together. That family dynamic only ever existed between Loustat and Claudia and Rose and Viktor, and Anne was very clear about that.

You could literally read the phone book and it would contain the same amount of “tender-loving Loumand” as Prince Lestat does. 😁

It’s also not lost on me that they do actively hate the books, yet will pull out of context quotes and twist them into fanon to try and further their narrative, but oh no. Those books are the devil when it comes to the actual facts. 🤭

But I digress.

You know how I said the show crushed that relationship? In the books, Armand genuinely loves Louis and would take care of Louis and protect him when Lestat couldn’t, and Lestat was grateful for that. David even remarked in Merrick that he would have to answer to Lestat and Armand should anything happen to Louis.

The show….is not that. In the show, Armand has been systemically abusing Louis for decades and taking his mental faculties and violating his bodily autonomy by warping his mind and erasing his memories.

All of that ^^ after Armand was seemingly going to kill Louis too with Claudia at the trial. He was also going to kill Louis in 2x03 when he cornered Louis in the tunnel. Louis was in danger with Armand, and Louis was visibly scared of Armand in Dubai. This fear can most notably be seen in 1x07 when Louis looks scared as Armand is revealing himself and in 2x05 when Louis is terrified Armand will come back from lunch to find them remembering San Francisco and is urging Daniel to please hurry and remember the call with Lestat before Armand gets back.

The dynamic between those three — Louis and Lestat and Armand — can no longer function as it did in the books. Louis cannot trust Armand. It was a huge violation and a huge betrayal. By extension, Lestat will not be thrilled with Armand either due to what he’s done to Louis. When Lestat finds out how Armand kept Louis all those years, he will be livid, and this isn’t even accounting for the fact it’s been hinted that Armand was more involved with Nicki’s death than he ever was in the books. Combine that with Lestat’s words to Louis about “I gave you to Armand you tell me if that was saving”, and it’s just setting up a very very different Loumandstat relationship than what the books did (no it was never a throuple), and I don’t see Louis or Lestat forgiving him for a very long time, if ever.

And because of all that ^^ and the fact Louis has already attempted suicide, which moves him into the place he arrives at in Prince Lestat, the Trinity Gate era in the show is no longer necessary or even feasible, and I think Rolin did that on purpose.

So if people want to fanon the book version of Trinity Gate? Whatever. But in the show? Yikes.

I would back away from that delusion and especially if they truly love Louis like they claim. 😬