#but im also doing soooo much good model work...

[infin-8-morphosis]

I need to post more here I do actually do stuff...

Anyway I just wanna say since I switched to Linux and Painttool SAI is a lil jank to emulate I switched to Krita

And I was nt really enjoying its layout until

I realised

You can basically do whatever you want with its toolbar customisability

Ive never seen an art program with this much flexibility!

So Ive basically recreated my SAI setup but even more convenient because I can put the menus I use most often into buttons

Its really nice~

[rhaenella]

idk if ur reqs are open but im obsessed with ur account. i was wondering if u could do a smau of any driver (other than danny ric) x pbr!reader. like shes the only woman to ever compete at NFR in bull riding. shes also 19 and doesnt ride with a helmet (just a cowboy hat) shes also like yhe biggest rodeo barbie you could imagine.

Firstly, I’m sorry it took me so long to get to work on your request, end of the year stuff and other wips got in the way 🫠 Anyways, I decided on Max for this because I almost immediately thought of him and his little Texas outfit 🥰 Also, I have to admit that my (non-American) knowledge of professional bull riding consisted primarily of The Longest Ride so excuse any inaccuracies, but I tried my best to read up on it! That being said, I hope it’s to your liking :) 

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

MV1 | Season of Champions

pairing: max verstappen x pbr!reader

genre: social media au

summary: you and max are each other's biggest supporters as max tries to secure his 3rd world championship title, whilst you're fighting for your 1st in a previously all male dominated sport

masterlist

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Liked by wagsf1, user3 and 135,092 others

mv.y/nupdates: Tomorrow our girl can secure one of the few select spots in the NFR finals!!! Unfortunately Max can’t be there due to his own race in Qatar, but we’ll be sure to cheer them both on ❤️

View all 712 comments

user1: they’re gonna kill it on both sides of the atlantic

user2: POWER COUPLE

user3: omg i hope y/n wins 🙏 she deserves this so much

user4: my alarm is set for 4 am to support y/n 🫡

user5: are you taking a nap between their races??

user4: lol obviously

user5: same 😂 it’s a tough life stanning max & y/n

7 October

Liked by y/n, mv.y/nupdates and 112,363 others

pbr: y/n y/l/n becomes the first woman in history to qualify for the NFR finals in Las Vegas in December! Congrats on this incredible achievement, y/n. See you in Sin City⚡️

View all 674 comments

user6: OMG SHE DID IT ❤️❤️❤️

user7: i’m so proud of her, i’ve literally been here since day 1

user8: remember when she used to do rodeo and everyone told her she could never go into pbr… look at her NOW 🔥

user9: she gave her hat to the little girl in the front row 😭❤️

user10: yep i cried

user11: y/n is not only the best, she is the SWEETEST

8 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 805,298 others

y/n: There aren’t words to describe how it feels to finally have my childhood dream come true. I’m not gonna lie, it was a tough road, especially as a female in this industry. Working my way up through rodeo to where I am today: a NFR finalist!! It’s a real pinch me moment… Little me would be ecstatic (just like present me 🙈) To all the other little girls that share the same passion & dream, it’s possible! Never stop believing in yourself ❤️ Now, let’s get that trophy!!!

View all 3,238 comments

maxverstappen1: My girl 😍 You’ve 100% got this 💪

y/n: Thank you baby 🥰 But first, Texas!

landonorris: GET INNN

Liked by y/n

lewishamilton: Legend in the making 🤍

Liked by y/n

user12: you’re gonna inspire so many girls to follow their dreams 🧡

user13: ✨role model✨

user14: soooo… idk if anyone’s seen the other finalists but she’s going to absolutely annihilate the competition just saying

user15: fr, they ain’t ready

8 October

Liked by user16, user17 and 658,512 others

f1: Howdy, y’all, it’s race week 🤠 Austin, here we come! 🇺🇸

View all 520 comments

y/n: Looking sharp sheriffs!

carlossainz55: Muchas gracias

charles_leclerc: Have to look our best this weekend, don’t we?

y/n: I wonder who for 🤔

charles_leclerc: 😉

user16: UHM FLIRTY MUCH??

user17: easy there sharl, she’s taken 💀

user18: cota the soap opera, i’m here for it

16 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 778,543 others

y/n: Switching my bull gear for that other bull gear 💙 COTA LET’S GOOO

View all 2,160 comments

maxverstappen1: Blue looks good on you

Liked by y/n

danielricciardo: Yeeeeehaaawwww

redbullracing: Team Bull. Always.

y/n: Hell yeah!!

user19: you can pull off literally anything 😍

user20: y/n is at cota this weekend!!!!!

user21: omfg finally some y/n & max content

user22: we’ve been STARVED

user21: exactly 🥲

user23: GIRL WAIT YOU SWITCHED TO THE CAP??

y/n: Don’t worry!! It was only for the pic 😊

user23: oh thank god

18 October

y/n's story

Seen by landonorris, alex_albon and 2,436,712 others

19 October

Liked by y/n, victoriaverstappen and 728,451 others

maxverstappen1: Austin ready 🇺🇸💪

View all 1,934 comments

y/n: There were so many cool hats to choose from but he insisted on wearing mine…😈

landonorris: Initiating the cowboy hat rule just in time before the race… Clever girl

alex_albon: Oooohh everybody watch out

schecoperez: 😂😂😂

y/n: You know it ;)

maxverstappen1: Wait what?

landonorris: Nothing, mate 🤠 You’ll find out soon enough

user24: BYEEEE AHAHAHA

user25: y/n and the whole grid ganging up on max 😭

user26: he’s so oblivious i love it

19 October

Liked by sophiekumpen, redbullracing and 654,281 others

f1: VERSTAPPEN WINS AT COTA! 🏆

View all 2,017 comments

user27: 🔥🔥🔥

user28: the goat does it again

user29: little sad that max didn’t wear the cowboy hat on the podium tho

user30: lmao y/n is probably as well

22 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, alex_albon and 768,311 others

y/n: WHAT. A. WEEKEND. 15th win of the season & 50th altogether!!!🥇Proud of you Maxie 😘😘

View all 2,108 comments

maxverstappen1: Love you 😘

user31: MAXIE??? i’m sobbing

user32: i need to know all her nicknames for him NOW

user33: and i need her to be at every one of his races

user34: same she fitted right in with the crew in the pitbox, joking around and everything :’)

user33: truly one of the few wags who are actually into the sport…

22 October

Liked by y/n, danielricciardo and 734,161 others

maxverstappen1: It’s incredible to win my 50th Grand Prix here today. I feel very proud to achieve this! Amazing job by everyone in the team 👏 And special thank you to y/n, the hat indeed brought us luck!

View all 1,998 comments

y/n: Always trust the hat, you should wear it more often

maxverstappen1: Unfortunately we cannot all break the helmet rules

y/n: 🙄

user35: lmao y/n is like you either die trying or you don’t try at all

user36: she has an aesthetic to look after 💅🏼

y/n: 🤣 You got it!

user36: OMG OMG

user37: BROOO

user38: well at least we’ve got that confirmed now

22 October

y/n's story

Seen by charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,766,192 others

23 October

y/n's story

Seen by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 2,541,384 others

23 October

Liked by user39, user40 and 31,476 others

mv1jet: Verstappen’s jet just touched ground! 🛬 Nevada, United States of America 🇺🇸

View all 508 comments

user39: oh god everyone get ready

user40: this can only mean 1 thing

user41: MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN, 3-TIME F1 WORLD CHAMPION, COMING TO SUPPORT HIS GIRL AT THE BIGGEST PBR EVENT OF THE YEAR HELLO YES I AM SAT

28 November

Liked by mv.y/nupdates, pbr and 275,021 others

wranglernfr: Today marks the start of the 65th NFR Finals! Newcomer and fan favorite y/n y/l/n has a good shot at winning the championship this week. However, will she decide to adhere to the mandatory helmet regulations or will she risk disqualification and still wear her self-proclaimed good luck hat? We’ll find out soon, folks. Stay tuned!

View all 1,454 comments

user42: i bet she keeps to her aesthetic

user43: oh def, she basically said it herself already

user44: but but but would they really disqualify her when she wins…??

user45: technically it is against the rules to ride without a helmet during the nfr’s so… yeah they might

user44: 😥😥

user46: please y/n don’t jeopardize it all 😩

2 December

maxverstappen1's story

Seen by landonorris, schecoperez and 3,014,839 others

11 December

Liked by maxverstappen1, mv.y/nupdates and 301,294 others

wranglernfr: NFR 2023 Champion y/n y/l/n⚡️Despite sticking to her famous but controversial cowboy hat, y/n becomes the 65th winner in Las Vegas at just nineteen, beating the runnerup and last year’s champion Billy Youngster!

View all 1,778 comments

user47: SHE DID IT!!!! 💪🔥

user48: i’m bursting with pride i’m so happy for her 🥰🥰🥰

mv.y/nupdates: two world champions this is almost too good to be true 😭❤️

user49: their christmas is gonna be one helluva party

user50: well deserved, that billy kid had it coming

user51: he only won last year because of dumb luck!

user52: FACTS

user53: this year we have a winner who’s worthy of the title ❤️

user54: can’t get over how y/n was so far up ahead they literally couldn’t disqualify her for the hat thing lol

user55: imagine if they had, people would have rioted

user54: omg they would have, with max at the front hoisting his pitchfork in the air, leading the pack

user55: 😂😂

11 December

Liked by maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,219,748 others

y/n: Cowboy hat + racing gloves = champions of the world 🏆

View all 4,193 comments

maxverstappen1: ❤️

sophiekumpen: So proud of both of you 🥰

victoriaverstappen: Coolest auntie (en oom natuurlijk🙊)!!!

Liked by y/n

landonorris: Congrats on making champion, champ!!! And wow… Max has got his own hat 👀

y/n: Yup! He deserved it after his triple US win 😍

charles_leclerc: Does this mean that your hat claim has lifted…?

maxverstappen1: Unless you want another inchident, back off

y/n: Uhm... He knows what it means now…

charles_leclerc: 😳

alex_albon: RIP Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc 🪦

Liked by maxverstappen1 and y/n

12 December

Liked by y/n, landonorris and 1,182,853 others

maxverstappen1: Wear the hat…

Comments have been disabled

12 December

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

a/n: translation of “en oom natuurlijk” > “and uncle ofcourse”

Happy holidays! x

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

[only-kiwi]

Can I be on the tag list?

part 13 - obvious

it’s been a while since i updated 💀 never doing a series again i’m so bad lol but i might still post here and there (i probably won’t). but also eternal sunshine is giving me soooo much inspo idk 😭😭😭

positions masterlist

2,782 likes

ynupdates Y/N via Instagram stories earlier today!

View all 327 comments

ynfan1 she’s so funny

ynfan2 hope she’s okay and not too stressed out

harryfan1 she must be so stressed :(

yourinstagram hey guys thank you for your concern but i am more than okay!! of course i have a lot going on but you know i like to keep myself busy. i’m also not planning the wedding alone <3 i love you so much but there’s no need to worry my loves.

Liked my harrystyles, victoriamonet and 5,892,781 others

yourinstagram positions merch modelled by my muse 🤍 also new single ‘obvious’ out tonight :)

View all 89,771 comments

ynfan3 pls im broke

ynfan4 they’re so hot i can’t

harrystyles I’m my muse’s muse? Pinch me x

yourinstagram @/harrystyles crying

harryfan2 pls never break up

harryfan3 i guess i have to buy the mech now

selenagomez Get married already

yourinstagram @/selenagomez working on it 😭

Liked by yourinstagram, gemmastyles and 5,282,029 others

harrystyles My love is free.

View all 98,028 comments

harryfan4 need me a man like harry

harryfan5 he’s SO in love i feel sick

yourinstagram not dad chilling in the back lmaoo

harrystyles @/yourinstagram he’s just here for a good time

ynfan5 if you guys ever break up i’m personally coming for you

[dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition]

hater ask prompt: share your hottest writing workshop format takes/other hater adjacent writing workshop opinions and experiences with us

i was lucky in that during grad school (not undergrad LOL those workshops were. very Messy often; I was once told by another student that my poetry made me "sound mentally ill" which like, i do have mental illnesses and my poetry is often influenced by my experiences with them, so, like, sure) i had mostly good workshop experiences (i would say 3/4 of my proper workshops were good). my last semester actually had a really innovative take on the workshop as a form but that's not a hater's take. here are my hater's takes:

i mean it's not a hot take IME bc i went to hippie school but. iowa model deeply flawed at best. i can see its merits and i celebrate those merits--I don't think a defensive author does much to help a story become better--but I think that the workshop setting is one that should facilitate discourse rather than solely criticism, and i think that emotional reactions are just as important to a work's development as any other aspect. these are obvious facts. whatever.

so: i received a fellowship to attend a private university's MFA program. i am very grateful for this; I love my program and the people I met through it. but. as one expects, wrt private institutions, there are people who just straight up cannot write well in the mix. And I don't think I learned how to deal with those people in a particularly productive way. there are systemic solutions obvi--ones to do with the very nature of private universities and "higher education", etc--but as it stands, this is how things are. i don't think that it is polite to tell someone "this piece is bad and fundamentally i do not respect you as an artist" (if you're someone from my program who has miraculously found my tumblr and you read this--this is not about you; this is about very specific people who do not know enough about me to find my tumblr) but i wish I had been equipped with the tools to handle Bad Art. i am happy to talk about specific examples of Bad Art in DMs LOL.

fuck you if you're in a writing program and you're unwilling to engage with theory. wish i didn't have to say this because like the first take this is pretty obvious but like i met multiple people who got mad that we had to read and analyze theory in a master's program.

personal thing: smallgroup workshops don't work for me. productive workshop needs at least 5 readers/critics, and should spend at least 1 hour on a given piece. otherwise you're barely hitting surface level.

SFF specific thing: i know i am part of the problem but i am soooo tired of "feminist body horror" like. particularly heinous changed my life don't get me wrong but can we please hop off of machado's dick. Can we please stop acting like she's god's gift to #writing about #womanhood and #abuse. can anyone hear me

also kind of old news but: i don't like that queernorm/aracial-unless-the-story-is-explicitly-about-race is becoming a default among SFF writers to the point that it is. and i do write stuff in that realm on occasion, so it's not something i'm against. i'm just tired.

[mashedpotatosinacup]

HELLO IM VERY INTERESTED IN THE D1 LORE TELL US TELL US TELL USSS

RAGHHHHHH TY MY SAVING GRACE

okay okay so my big main idea for the lore is Connor was one of the original VKs to be chosen for Auradon . because they chose some of the more presumably violent VKs like Mal and Evie they wanted to balance it out w someone who came from villainy but not like . killing people villainy (I love Kronk but he’s . not smart enough to be a rlly bad villain) SOOOO Connor was invited along but because of that he’d have to leave Harry and his crew behind and although the rest of the gang is hesitant they eventually send him along because they have the same idea as the other villains to try and get an inside look at Auradon to eventually get them of the Isle . Connor doesn’t rlly get along w any of the other VKs early on because they came from different crews on the isle but eventually learn to work together because they have the same common goal of saving the Isle by getting the wand (just for Connor it’s to see Harry again and for the others it’s for their parents) . D1 is pretty uneventful and doesn’t take up a lot of space in my mind but it has a lot of set up that I’ll go into eventually when the hypertension is more hyperfocused (I’ll rewatch it soon and do all my in depth analysis stuff) but yeah he goes along w their plan at the end which of course ends up failing but YAY happy ending

also during the whole thing because there’s much less signal on the ships instead of calling Connor writes letters to the crew (esp Harry) but every time he brings them to the post office to mail they throw them away without Connor knowing so he thinks that he’s been in contact with his friends while they think he abandoned them for the good life on the Isle :3 (I have an angst wip about them reuniting in D2 where Connor is all excited to see his friends again and they resent him bc they think he abandoned them and never thought about them again after finding a better , cleaner life on Auradon with their childhood enemies who bullied them all the time that I’m super excited to write more of)

ALSOOOO he gets rlly close w Carlos and Jay and they have a good bro relationship:3 he’s semi-close w Evie (she sometimes has him model her masculine clothes) and has probably the least close relationship w Mal just because he’s from the pirates and she grew up picking on them but they slowly realize they’re not so different (Connor tries to befriend her golden retriever style throughout the whole movie as kind of an overarching B plot where she keeps rejecting him and disliking him because he’s w the pirates but eventually realizes somewhere around D3 that, like the rest of the pirates , he’s just another VK)

anyway thank you for coming to my Ted Talk there will be more posts like this and hopefully more writing soon because I am once again loosing my mind over Harry and I need to talk about him forever and ever

[respitelocklyre]

Catch up with Respite🌹💀⚰️'s latest story!

[The following series of tweets was added to the previous thread on Respite's private account.]

>SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATE OMG I LIVED GUYS PLS STOP DMING ME 😂

>I made it out of the dollhouse! I found a magic mirror that lead to the outside and also made me normal-sized again so everything is totally cool now i prommieeee

>ok maybe not TOTALLY cool, but im riding on the back of a dragon rn with my bf to go rescue my party so like it's PRETTY cool [attached is the image of Respite and Jav, riding on the back of a dragon. Several other students are also in the background, including Mire who looks as though they're trying to dodge out of the picture, Thad struggling to grab his baseball hat that's flown off, and Nora who is focused on a serious conversation with her other party members]

>my phone broke but i found a new one in my pocket when i woke up outside the dollhouse? it's soooo pretty but i don't recognize the model at all. i would show it off but idk how to take a picture of the thing i use to take pictures???

>anyways check my insta & dinkdonk for the full story time soon. ty all sooo much for the concern in my mentions tho LMAO sorry if u thot i died 💀

[Additionally, the following story/live was added to Respite's public socials. It begins with Respite recording a video from his dorm room once again. They begin talking as they style their hair and do their makeup.]

You guys, last night ended up getting so crazy. I don't even know where to begin! For those of you who don't know, I went to a cute pop-up market with my boyfriend last night. It was really fun, with all sorts of artists and performers and shops. And, like, I know the fae get a bad wrap for being tricksters or whatever, but it really seemed like just a quirky fair.

But ooooh my gods, it took such a steep turn so fast. This video will be 80 parts if I go into all of the details, but it turned out that a hag had taken over the market years ago and was, like, controlling everyone- including the DRAGON who used to own the market!- with a bunch of magical contracts. That was obviously, like, problematic on its own, but my friend recognized her missing sister working as a performer in the circus. Isn't that totally crazy? I swear, I could pitch this to one of those, like, true crime shows.

Anyways, we were gonna try to save the other workers or at least, like, alert some teachers at Strix about it but once it directly involved my friend it just became, like...so much more timely, y'know? They weren't going to stay in town long, and it wasn't like WE had a way to find them again afterwards. She was obviously gonna try and save her sister, so it wasn't like we were just gonna let her do that alone.

So we did the stupidest thing and decided to split up- I know, I know- but we were just supposed to be gathering some info! One of our groups was supposed to go watch the circus act to make sure it was really our friend's sister, while the other group- the one I was with- was just trying to snoop around to find out more about the hag and all the contracts. The plan was to regroup before anything dangerous happened, but like...of course that didn't happen.

I'm not sure, like, HOW much I can say...but I did get trapped inside a magical dollhouse at one point. And my friend obviously leapt at the first chance she had to rescue her sister, even if it wasn't a good idea since we were all still separated at the time. I can't blame her, though, all things considered. It was just, like, one of those emotionally charged decisions, which I totally get.

But the hag, like, immediately caught them. I wasn't there, but my other party members tell me she, like, trapped them all behind some forcefield thing and they ended up making a deal where they challenged her to some games. If she won, they'd be trapped, but if they won, she'd free them all and my friend's sister as well.

Meanwhile, I managed to get out of the dollhouse with some of the worker's contracts, so the rest of my party and my boyfriend's party, who came to help out, started trying to destroy as many of the magical contracts as we could to set them free. We figured freeing the dragon was, like, top priority, so we did that right away. Not without, like, a TON of resistance from a bunch of the hag's lackeys first, of course.

With the dragon- oh, her name is Pazidrone, by the way!- freed, she offered us a ride and we were able to get to the hag and our friends right as they were playing a tiebreaker game. But they didn't get to finish, since we crashed their party big time! Like, literally crashed into the hag's magical forcefield on the back of a dragon and started an all-out brawl.

I think my friend's sister is doing better now, but the healers here said it would probably be a while before she was back to her old self. It's probably hard to recover from the effects of a hag's contract, I'd bet. We did check in on some of the other workers, and most of them seemed much happier but, like, drained. So I figure there's hope she'll be okay, right?

Which...again, maybe wasn't the smartest decision our party has made. We're still, like, freshmen, after all. But I kinda figured with a dragon, it would be a cinch, yknow?

Unfortunately, Pazidrone went up against a big, chicken-y monster that, like, turned her to stone SO fast. I'm not sure we would've made it out if Willow hadn't managed to turn up that magical charm of hers and convince the hag to leave us and the market behind. But luckily, she did, and we got to live on top of freeing the workers at the market!

[Respite pauses to do their lipstick, thinking.]

It was, like, a lot if I'm being honest. I'm still kinda processing everything. I know it probably comes with the territory of going to a magic school or whatever, but it DOES feel like sometimes even our classmates can't relate, y’know? I mean, I've nearly died...what, 5? 6? times now. And that's only counting the times I was fully knocked out. It just seems like a lot for my first semester. I dunno. Weigh in if you think that's weird or not.

Oh! And I STILL have to take finals! Isn't that CRAZY? Like, why can't "save an entire marketplace from a hag" count as our final? Or at least some extra credit? I feel like it should count for SOMETHING, even if it's not part of the curriculum. Ugh, whatever. I'm sure I'll find some way to pass my exams.

Keep you guys posted- feel free to ask me any questions but also keep in mind I might wanna keep some of the personal details to myself!

[End video transcription]

[The following is the latest thread on Respite's private Twitter]

>I ACED MY FINALS?? 💀

>if i can do it anybody can do it, babes, keep ur chins up 🌸 don’t let the haters winnnn ✨

[minisugakoobies]

imho kpop doesnt particularly need english songs its just that they saw a chance and made the most out of having int fans and i get that but i like kpop groups also for their own language too. if im being honest i didnt watch much of le sseras stage. i think the only issue is that they are aiming for america only as if there isnt a good european music scene and or they just shoved them on stage almost like sm expected negative backlash to further boost the groups promo :( i think that some newer groups are less likely to be suitable for such a festival and perhaps they shouldve focused on small stages until they build up their vocal abilities. but it do be like these kpop companies set some groups up for backlash tho like they just knew but i think it going to backfire on sm cause they was greedy for that groups promo, i dont think it was worth it for le ssera sadly. its not that they arent talented they just rushing it for the success yaknow? bts took years now every group want a grammy nomination

It feels like the gens are getting shorter & shorter, and there are soooo many new groups debuting all the time. There's so much riding on these groups to hit big as fast as they can. I can't imagine the pressure these artists feel! I know I couldn't stand it. BTS had the time to hone their skills before they became huge international stars, but that doesn't seem to be the model anymore. It's always so gratifying to see a group like Ateez gaining attention, knowing all the hard work they've put in. 💕

[zemnarihah]

okay i'm officially fully done with this semester i think this semester was a turning point for me honestly i think i've learned what putting in full focus and effort looks like for me and i think im taking it more seriously than ever and i've also been more social than ever (in college) anyway it's really good i'm glad. i actually love it i was getting kinda scared that i just was going to keep not caring and not putting in effort bc for the longest time i could notttt get myself to try hard at stuff and i have evidence now that i'm able to. i have that stupid fucking post gifted kid syndrome where if things don't come naturally to me i don't want to put the effort in to learn them and this semester i spent sooo much time in blender like doing things that were so hard for me and i never half assed it not even once. maybe i didn't make that good of stuff but i cared and worked hard the whole time and THAT is a skill that will benefit me a lot even if i never touch 3d again. I really think that working hard and being focused is a SKILL that you can improve at and i still am and will get even better at it!! and i honestly love it like i had multiple days these last few weeks where i went to school in the morning and holed up in an empty computer lab and didn't come home till 11 at night and NO i don't think that's healthy or would be sustainable and i don't plan on making that a regular thing buttttt for those days i actually loved it... i was so exhausted by the end of it but it feels so much better than sitting around doing nothing which is what i would probably do otherwise. it wasn't just 3d modeling btw in my media tech class i had to do a bunch of acrylic painting which i had done before in high school but never cared to actually get good at the MEDIUM of it and this semester i actually paid attention to technique and all that dumb shit and i made some pretty good paintings honestly and even though all i did was complain about it towards the beginning i actually discovered i really love it and want to do more. it actually is kind of a really good medium.... and i learned so much about process i never had a solid beginning to end artistic process before and now i really do. i need to rep it a bunch like even the process is something i have to practice just in general but i have it now and it works and it makes creating feel soooo much more straightforward. anyway i think a lot of stuff just kinda clicked this semester i think it's partly bc i actually put in the effort and i think it's partly bc i had a really really amazing prof who taught TWO of my classes this semester and i also think it's bc i had friends in my classes. anyway if you read this whole thing.... idk. wish me luck ig to not lose my momentum and to keep learning a lot next semester. and i love you forever and ever

[mekatrio]

literally have no idea where to start so im just gonna randomly rapid fire :] here are my thoughts on 999 in general + the last ending in particular

which is basically that im a bit :T with just how much was left unexplained and also the lack of a 'veil lifting'... like ok ill explain what i mean by a 'veil lifting' first, so essentially ok alright akane and santa are the masterminds right? ok thats cool thats crystal, but its just... it just feels so odd how we never really see them drop their facades at any point. like ok santa briefly drops his and goes 'haha ya got me. im the secretary lol' but then he dips out and we Never See Him Again. and its even worse with akane like ok sure i dont need to see her acting like zero thats whatever but its just like.... man it wouldve been really nice and rewarding to see santa and akane act like the siblings they are yknow. like i get that it was all an act but its just so unfulfilling to never see them drop their act and show how much they care abt each other, at least not in the present day. and like jeezzz in the ending... when i thought like oh hey look the games actually going to show me akane and santa! .....it turns out to be butt-naked alice. like.... dude. like Dude did we not JUST have a whole moment where the game was like 'Yeah alice was just a red herring haha gotcha good'. like alice's appearance was just bewildering and not in a very funny or relieving way and it just like, left more questions than answers and not in a good way, especiallyyyy considering just how much was left unanswered like.... like just how exactly did santa and akane even manage to pull any of this off like. are they secret millionaires or something what the fuck. or lotus! what the hell is up with lotus huh! why is she involved in any of this! whats her backstory w being a former cyber security expert for some firm huh? or whats with snake's new cult outfit?! AND HOW IS JUNE ALIVE....??? like ok i skimmed thru this famitsu interview w the director where he explains a bunch of unexplained things and its like... naw i do not believe what hes saying cuz they hardly make sense. saying that 'june is a living breathing human whose 100% alive and not a walking paradox' like ermm.. i have more things to say abt this but im sleepy + hungry sooo ill post them as i think abt them haha. but in spite of my complaints i did enjoy this game very much, aside from the first puzzle with that bitch of a hidden bed, i had no other troubles with any of the other puzzles ^_^ incredible art atmosphere and music and the writing, in spite of its shortcomings, was still really intriguing and fun to play! it was a good game 👍

so in general i loved the art direction of the game, it was very grungey edgey the 3d backgrounds and models worked super duper well with the illustrated sprites and and the atmosphere of the game was just top notch the entire time, the music was super good too like it was the right amount of funky tense and scary when it needed to be i loveeed it... as to that LAST ENDING... okkk so.. i got teary eyed quite a number of times OFC like when snake and clover reunited QwQ and when i learned of how akane horrifically died Q_Q and when she finally got saved.. QuQ and likeee i really really do like that akane turned out to be zero i was not expecting that!! i wasnt completely on board w the prev route's conclusion that santa was zero but like i said there were just so many possibilities and i really didnt know who on earth zero could possibly be!!

but with that said i really do like the reveal that its akane and that shes saving herself in a way like seriously i think thats soooo very very cool and probably the best part abt this ending and the game in general, which is that the heroine set up all this messed up shit just so she could save herself from a really cruel and terrible death. i really love that. i reallyyyy love a girl who saves herself... THATS AWESOME... although shes saving herself thru a guy but shes still saving herself in a way yknow i like it a lot. and its the fact that its just so incredibly awesome how zero has been akane this whole time and has been saving herself is this whole time that does a lot of heavy lifting for my less favorable complaints w this ending and the game in general..

[randomositycat]

Artist/animator brain telling me to pick apart each episode for subtle differences in comparison to the show as a whole

What seems like it could be on model and what feels like it was pushing boundaries to developing a semi-new style for the anime

Rant under cut bc hi I do this a lot in my head,, and I could go through each episode and pick them apart but I've got e 17 on the brain so we'll stick with that for now and maybe I'll check out the older ones later

I only bring it up now bc,, well I didn't want to before

In e 17 (since it's the one freshest in my brain) the art differences I notice are purely in the chibi style, and minorly in the closer shots of characters

This shot specifically feels like it belongs to a different show! But still suuper super cute all the same!

And we go back to something more fitting with the other similar style shots from previous episodes! Not to say that it's all and all the same style every time, but again the differences are subtle and you have to look very closely to even say "huh, that's a bit different!"

I also noticed that usually they don't skip out of drawing fingernails? which sure most animes dont but it feels different here? If that makes sense,,

They really upped their detail game compared to other episodes! all the little things that pain me to even think about doing as an animator! The work put into some of these shots is super impressive! They even shaded the fake mole?? Come on!! The idea of doing what they've down with these shots makes me tired,, kudos to the artists for having the nerve

The fingernails stand out the most to me bc there is so much detail in them!

From the cuticle to the beautiful lighting and shading when she was applying make up to his face (I don't have a gift sorryyy 😣)

And we already know the eyes are beautiful, but my favorite attention to detail is Jinshi's eyes. Maomao never fails to comment on his beauty, and artistically it shows as much, emphasizing it to no end really, but he's so subtly feminine that I find myself studying his eyes quite a bit! His long eyelashes really draw you in...

You can see they dulled it down a little, for his Jinka disguise, but even then he's got such gentle eyes that could easily be mistaken for a woman's if he were to hide his face :) (looking at you Hunting arc, missed a chance! I'll tell you!)

Maomao's expressions in this episode really take the cake too LOL

There's no shortage of good maomao faces, especially not here >:)

As each new episode releases I'm just soooo enamored with how steady the improvement is! Artists finding their rhythm with the characters and sprinkling little things here and there that can go unnoticed but definitely enhance a shot! It's amazing!

And it brings me to talk about e4 which yes I agree is gorgeous animated, but im someone who prefers consistency rather than quality in my animated shows

(quality is good yes but to go from very fluid to standard fluid is jarring to say in the least)

I adore the fluidity in e4, obsessed with it. I was under the impression that an entirely different director + team was in charge (I wasn't wrong abt the director)

My favorite bits have to be the expressions,

And how each movement feels less like a show and more like a movie, like we got a spontaneous budget increase for this episode alone!

Lip syncing too, REALLY on point! I love angry Maomao and I'm a sucker for lip syncing any time!! When she was scolding Lihua's lady in waiting, the animators really hit every keyframe on the nose! (generally makes e4 dub a bit of a hassle for me to watch) I rewatch the sequence again and again because of how well done it is :) a spectacular moment indeed

Another episode with really fluid moments is episode 10, I think 🤔 when she confronts Lady Lishu about Fengming. The entire scene is wonderfully done, with Lishu's expressions and her ladies-in-waiting being excited to talk to Jinshi :) all things I gladly pay attention to

All in all the show has a gorgeous art direction 😊 I hope they continue to enhance it little by little with subtle things like everything i mentioned above

Makes an artist's heart flutter thinking about the dedication and care put into its production

[pussyslaycatboy]

1 2 3 4 5 7 8 10 20 22 23 25 30 36 41 e f and g with august :)

and i love you SOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SO SO MUCH BABY

HELLO BABE I LOVE YOU!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!! KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS!!! also you're insane for this im putting this under the cut its so much

he straight up can't, because he needs a constant distraction from his thoughts, otherwise he'll start spiralling. he literally does everything he can not to think, so he can't just sit there. he'll explode.

surprisingly easy, despite being sick in the head he's actually pretty easy-going with most people, and he has a good sense of humor. if he doesn't laugh at a stupid joke then you KNOW something's wrong.

he very rarely goes to bed sober. again, because of the "needs a constant distraction" thing. so more often than not, even if he's sober beforehand, he'll take a few shots to get tipsy before he's comfortable enough to sleep.

it really depends. august has this huge mistrust of authority figures, so he won't trust anyone who's even moderately related to therapy or counseling or teachers or cops or anything. HOWEVER, if he likes someone he's got a bad habit of completely ignoring all their flaws and trusting everything they say (bpd moment), and it'll take almost no time. and he's aware of this flaw, and tries really hard to be mistrusting so he doesn't get hurt again, but. well. it doesn't really work.

again, depends who you are. on the off chance he becomes close with an authority figure, even the slightest fuck-up can cause him to immediately shift back into distrust. however, someone he likes can lie to him over and over, and august will fall back into trusting them if they just apologize and promise they won't do it again. kind of pathetically easy to gaslight his ass.

anything home-y triggers nostalgia for his family--home-cooked food, suburban white family decor, stuff like that. the feeling's kind of bittersweet, because he did have a fairly happy childhood (even including the time he was getting groomed, unfortunately) but it also hurts because he knows he'll never have that again. he also gets nostalgia for church-related stuff like sunday mass, but that's less pleasant because it just makes him think about harper (for not-chad, the priest who groomed him as a teen) and how he was abandoned by him.

august was a pretty normal good kid, but he was. a little bit gay. so he'd get reprimanded for stuff like staring at male models at the mall or doing "girly" stuff and shit like that as a kid (which sucks, because he was never taught to cook or clean because of that). tbh otherwise he was a really good kid--his grades were average, but he made up for it by being really faithful, and he was usually pretty quiet and polite.

when harper left him, august learned really quickly that he could NOT tell therapists and shit that being groomed was the best thing to ever happen to him. because they'd always go "oh my god, that's terrible! i'm so sorry that dirty man did that to you!" but. august was genuinely at his happiest while being groomed (obviously it wasn't healthy, but he was really happy). so he learned really quickly not to talk about it at all, or lie and say that it was soooo awful. it doesn't haunt him per se, but he built a lot of resent towards authority figures for that reason, because nobody would ever listen to him and always tried to make harper out to be a bad guy, which august does not agree with. and it fucking hurts to pretend he doesn't love harper.

he honestly can't really differentiate them. his family loved him, but he always felt like it was conditional, so he'd consider familial love to be fake. and he can't tell the difference between romantic or platonic love--the closest thing he could tell is that romantic love is when you want to fuck a person you love, and platonic is when you don't want to fuck them.

when he's jealous, august becomes EXTREMELY insecure and clingy. he has huge abandonment issues that are already worsened by his bpd, so he'll dig in his heels and do absolutely anything not to be abandoned. which. does include hurting people he loves and acting in a super unhealthy way.

he gets sooo bitchy, or will mope and whine around the person he's envious of until he gets what he wants. like a fucking 8 year old.

he wants to get married one day, but has trouble imagining someone sticking with him long enough to get to that point. as a kid, he really really wanted to marry harper, and a part of him still hopes he can. he's kind of bitter on the subject of marriage because it's basically inaccessible to him.

probably anim, because it's their fault that he learned all these terrible things about harper. he would have been more than happy to live completely ignorant forever, but now he can't do that.

he seeks out romance constantly, because he's unable to not be in a relationship. he needs to feel wanted and useful, and if that means he needs to pursue people who treat him terribly, he will. it's not really "romance" in a healthy sense, it's more like looking for attention and sex and affection under the guise of a romanic relationship.

he's neutral on them. he doesn't want them himself, and thinks they're kind of annoying, but they also make him nostalgic for his own childhood. because he wishes he was a kid again so bad, because he was so much happier.

e. i think i'd like sharing hot gossip with august but i could NOT be close with him. way too much drama involved, and he's basically just a more intense version of my mental illness so i think it would suck. plus i think he'd find me boring.

f. he makes me so fucking sad. because i think he's so tragic but also he's kind of the oc that's closest to me in terms of. many things. so his shit hits a little close to home. i love him.

g. he refuses to fucking get therapy. get normal loser boy.

[butterscotch-brigade]

the Mario Movie Post

ok SO heres a more expansive post listing my Thoughts on the mario movie. HUGE spoiler warning under the cut btw

it was....good! i keep comparing it to the sonic movies in my head bc thats what ive seen a lot of other ppl doing, and i think, compared to those movies, this one is a “safer” adaptation of the source material; and ofc this isnt an inherently good or bad thing, but it may influence ur opinion if u were expecting a more derivative adaptation like the sonic movies, which take more risks and creative liberties. id rank the mario movie below sonic 2 (the greatest movie of all time btw), but idk if id put it above or below sonic 1; ultimately, like i said, it depends on whether u prefer the adaptation thats “safer” or “riskier” in terms of what its trying to accomplish.

anyway, here r some things i rly liked abt the movie!! warning for me gushing abt bowser bc im in love with him btw ASDLJKADS

bowser is the greatest character in the entire thing ofc. not surprising at all ASLKJDSLKJDS my big beautiful monster husband he is SOOOO GOOOODDD like.....hes the most expressive, full of personality, and jack black gives an AMAZING performance as him. his fucking song???? the princess peach love song??? beautiful. lovely. i love bowser so fucking much......like yeah he “kidnaps people” and “tries to kill innocents” or whatever but errmmm he does it in the name of love so its ok uwu my big strong cuddly ferocious teddy bear i love him I LOVE HIIMMMMM KLASJDKLJASDLKJ HES SO PERFECT HES A SWEET LOVEY DOVEY DORK BUT HES ALSO FUCKED UP EVIL AND POWERFUL AND WILLING TO CRUSH ANYONE WHO STANDS IN HIS WAY GOOOODDDDD I WANT HIM SO BAD

animation is gorgeous, including the environments and character models. say what u want abt illumination but u have to admit their actual animation game is pretty damn good and this film is no exception

i rly appreciate all the references and easter eggs! i like how they used music from the games in various ways, and how they incorporated the different worlds/levels.

i LOVE the little additional bits of lore they added!!! ive been a huge Mario Lore Enthusiast pretty much since i first learned how to use the internet so this was very satisfying to my autistic brain ALSKJLKDASJ

as far as specific lore elements go, i loved getting to see mario and luigi’s parents (+ extended family!!!). u dont understand for the longest time the only CANON picture we had of mario and luigis parents were these images from the end of yoshis island ASKLDJSLAKDJ so im very happy we got more detailed designs for them

i love the backstory they gave princess peach!! ive always wondered why she rules the mushroom kingdom despite not being a toad. i hope they expand on her story more if they ever make a second movie bc i think it would be rly interesting to know more abt where she came from!!

i LOOOVE the kongs so so much......ty mario movie for finally ending the debate abt whether or not dk is cranky kongs son or grandson SALKJDALKSJ also i love dk’s characterization in this too, his friendly rivalry w mario was rly funny

i love love LOOOVVE the sibling dynamic between mario and luigi. Bro They Are Bros

i like the incorporation of the power-ups and how they work

king bob-omb is there. i like him :)

and now for some criticisms (note that these r all pretty minor, there wasnt rly anything i Disliked abt the movie which is admittedly more than i can say abt the first sonic movie actually LKSAJLKD):

a lot of the characters just kinda felt flat, especially compared to bowser who has the most personality. luigi is the only one i can think of who has any kind of significant “arc.” peach, toad, and dk dont rly have any kind of significant character growth, while mario’s arc is just kinda....He Learns To Get Better At Fighting And Navigating The Mushroom Kingdom i guess. to be fair mario games in general arent rly known for focusing on character development (w some exceptions like the rpgs, but none of that development is rly focused on mario himself), but that ultimately just made this movie’s writing pale in comparison to the sonic movies (which arent perfect (except for the second one) but still)

luigi didnt rly do much throughout the whole thing.....i liked him a lot in the beginning, but he spends most of the movie being captured. i DID like the fight scene at the end where mario and luigi team up to beat the shit out of bowser tho!! i just wish we got to spend a little more time with luigi so his arc had a more satisfying conclusion

Why didnt they credit grant kirkhope for the dk rap. wtf nintendo/illumination

but yeah those r my Thoughts. overall it was a pretty good movie, id maybe give it like....7/10? 7.5/10? it wasnt Great but it was good. definitely better than the Other mario movie thats for sure LKASJFLKJS

[i-love-you-all]

for OTP meme, Breach Reyna 3 and 6? (if you dig that ship) Im assuming you'll get a lot of tremorbolt stuff so tries to mix it up lolol

Tbh I think I'm down for most Breach ships (not that there are that many LOL... poor dude)

Who gets caught staring at the other all the time?

Breach! He’ll find his gaze travelling the room, only to look over Reyna and pause to linger there for a little longer. He just can’t get over how beautiful she looks, and yet just how deadly she is on a mission. He likes watching her facial expressions as she goes through a conversation, completely and purely her.

When Reyna catches him, it goes one of two ways. If it’s a casual environment, and she’s in a good mood, she’ll play into the attention, posing for him, smiling at him, all that good stuff. If she’s either busy or in a bad mood, she might snap a little, things like “Stop looking at me and start doing your job.” Course, he plays it off because he knows she doesn’t aim to hurt him, just get him focused on the job at hand.

Who cooks dinner and who washes the dishes?

Tbh I think Breach is a great house spouse. He’s been on his own for a while since his family was imprisoned, and likely w/o money for the first year or so. So, he’ll cook dishes that he knows best, and after Reyna even mentions that she misses Mexican food, he’ll do his best to cook that for her. I think he also does the dishes, doesn’t want her hands getting rough from scrubbing when he has metal ones. Sometimes she’ll insist on helping whether it’s just putting them away or something because he does do a lot of the house work, and doesn’t he deserve a little bit of a break? Even if Breach doesn’t think he needs one?

Describe their relationship dynamic.

I think they’re pretty close to puppy dog love since Reyna will indulge him, but not chase him. But you have a capable couple, one who’s loud and can be destructive, but good at his job, and a lethal, self-sufficient killer who is desperate to save her sister. Def also a power couple :))

What do they love about each other?

Breach loves how straightforward she is, also  pragmatic, and with clear priorities. It’s respectable, impressive, and soooo sexy. She is one of the few agents who will take what she wants and that ambition, which he may or may not know is for her sister, and for someone who has likely been unable to earn the respect he deserves, she’s more than just his love, probably also a role model he wished he had met earlier.

Reyna loves the more lighthearted side of Breach more. She sees past what others can’t, namely the loud voice and metal arms, and she can appreciate his humour and his way of doing things, as it’s basically the same theme as her own methods, just with much less finesse. But when she’s down, stressed, or on rare occasions scared, he just seems to know how to cheer her up or rest with her. And it’s nice to have that sort of partnership where she doesn’t always have to ask. Sometimes it’s just given :))

[faorism]

somehow @darkfinch your undercover eliot au made my brain jump a couple of beats and now im like. fast and the furious au aka we drop the leverage crew into what camp looks like if designed for straight men. (characters and the relationships from the saga dont perfectly align, but! they serve as a reference. and sorry im ot3 obsessed so this touches on that even tho your au finch doesnt mention ships.)

eliot is not a narc but instead moreau's top dog in what is a very dynamic criminal enterprise. moreau wants to expand his operation from los angeles to the bay area, and has sent his lieutenant to look into the competition and what business prospects look like. he aims him at one of the major players' known fronts, a bar named mcrorys owned by a guy named nate ford. eliot will have to send updates to chapman, who will be put in charge of the expansion because even though eliot is higher ranked and trusted enough to give moreau the clearest analysis of the bay's situation, moreau wants eliot close and secure and his, so! eliot has to lay the groundwork for fucking chapman.

at mcrorys, eliot orders a burger like a NORMAL FUCKING PERSON and its god fucking awful, and he complains at his server, a handsome af chatty dude who is curious about this beauty bruiser of a man who showed up in a suped up challenger. hardison flirts teases that if eliot thinks he could do better, hardison was gonna talk a break for a late lunch and wouldnt mind being fed well for once. eliot takes him up on the challenge and goes to the back where parker (the gorgeous, the fuck is everyone a model around here cook who is also the bartender) is moping because the big boss has her and hardison to cover the pub during slow hours to "keep them humble." she's suspicious of eliot but! eats the food he makes for her too. its soooo good and ugh, why doesn't nate hire real cooks instead of having them there. at this, eliot is like... oh shit you know ford? i had business with him, parts to sell.

and thus, eliot inadvertently gets his "in" with nates crew.

from this meet-cute, plot unravels and eliot learns the inner workings of the crew's leadership as he picks up hours at mcrorys as a cook.

what he reports back to moreau (via fucking chapman) is this: nate is head of the crew, but after losing his kid to crossfire gone wrong, he drinks too much to drive even a hot wheel. hes the planner and the numbers guy, but the face/driver of the organization for the past few years is now parker. shes the best driver the bay may have ever seen and her name is whispered like the demigod we know she is, even by their rivals. she is very suspicious of eliot not for any particular reason, but because shes protective of her family and how easy this stranger fits in worries her (they are just... so alike and she knows how hard it was for her to join in, why is it so easy for eliot).

her boyfriend hardison, however, is so trusting (too trusting) and even if at first he and eliot play at irritation (or feel it, actually) theres a quick friendship budding that further rubs parker the wrong way. hardison is too important to let drive because he is the man behind the tech and motors of their operation: he just knows how to make a car purr before pouncing on the nitro.

he works closely with sophie, nates... wife? girlfriend? years long eye fuck partner? eliot also doesnt quite know what to name her role because she's a chameleon. she has got an eye for aesthetics so she gives hardison instructions for car detailing, but also she does orders and somehow gets huge discounts, but then she turns around and sells at a huge profit. she also races and she's goooood.

as eliot establishes himself into the crew, and as (against parker's suggestion) he joins their thievery, what eliot reports back becomes this: nates crew may be pulling a lot of attention because of their success in the races and because they do their elaborate heists... they really arent moreaus competition. they dont push drugs or sex work or guns. they are big time for their field of car shit but small time for everything else. theres the triads you really have to worry about. and the cops out here are dirty: the commissioner blackpoole, in particular, is an asshole. this crew doesnt even kill anyone wtf. they are basically a bunch of conmen and grifters. not serious players.

chapman accuses eliot of "going native." eliot tells him to go fuck himself. moreau decides to trust eliots judgment.

plot plot plot and also racing and also eliot earning the trust and companionship of everyone, even parker. but basically, moreau eventually sends some people in (including chapman) to start interfering with shit, once eliot reports on a score against the triads nates crew is looking into thst is very very tempting indeed. eliot finds out and realizes this big heist (big enough to require nate on scene) is going to go really fucking bad with the interference. so he tells hardison, the only one of the main crew left behind to coordinate shit and... god, hardison is crushed but they have his family to save.

eliot's warning and hardison's assistance means the difference between life and death for nate, sophie, parker, and the few others they got helping them (quinn? peggy? hurley? and do harry and bre make an appearance somewhere? idk). particularly nate eliot saves, because chapman and two guys had cornered nate and was gonna shoot but eliot kills them first.

and here... now everyone knows what eliot is and who. and... nate yells at him and hardison (now) cam be pissed and sophie knew he was lying but not Like This and parker... parker (who tore her ACL but could have fucking lost a leg) is the softest with him, and each person's reaction just tears eliot apart. but yet. but yet they offer him a place. a refuge. but he's moreau's man. a loyal dog. and moreau is already recalling eliot, saying they need to regroup after this unfortunate (but acceptable) loss and try again later. and what eliot doesnt report to them is that if he doesnt go back, moreau will send everyone in after him. (its safer, better... this way. this family was never his.)

and so they let him go. they have to. and eliot cant even look at hardison and parker, who he... they... had something. they did. or could have had something. maybe. at the end. but... he leaves. he has to. for them, and for nate and sophie, and for the whole crew.

and well, nates crew was small time before, yes, in comparison to moreaus operation. but as the screen fades to black, they look at each other and go yeah, apparently, we gotta go big because we have an eliot to steal (back).

[elytrafemme]

hello it is me the same annon who was too tired for their own good last night talking about cough syrup!

so hi, i’m still not fully caught up and i’m a little scared to be left off at a cliff hanger at this point (i just finished chapter 20)

but i’m here once again to say holy smaker doodle i love your writing soooo much!!!! like it’s hard for me to pin down but like every character feels so full??? i guess three dimensional but that just makes me think of floating geometric 3-d models.

this is one of the first things i’ve read where i’ve imagined distinct houses! huzzah!!

also i am loving cs!beeduo (the dynamic and the individual characters)

a random note is that when reading chapter 20?? 18??? (i’m forgetting which chapter has what specific event but i think it was 20) i noticed the random note that cs!ranboo had like been blessed with extra testosterone. and i was like yo!!! because im afab and actually have like a large “excess” of testosterone and for a bit i was put on hormone pills to counteract it? idk it was a while ago and i don’t go to the doctor about it because i don’t care about the side effects (got that not cis swag or whatever)

anyway the point of this (which i apologize if this above is tmi, i’m bad at recognizing stuff) is that i keep finding more and more ways to relate to cs!ranboo in very obscure ways but also i feel seen in obscure ways so hey, that’s a win!

also just everything in cough syrup feels so colorful??? like the descriptions and stuff, specifically of emotions and internal thoughts. colorful is the best word i can think of to describe it

i’m just having a great deal of fun and stuff reading, so i’m ever so grateful that it was written! i’m very excited to see this series through to the end!

(also as a last note im in love with the qpr rep and stuff because i never see it often, and i rarely see it portrayed in a relatable way)

OMG HIIII ANON HI!!! good 2 see u again!

fwiw the chapter coming out on tuesday isnt too much of a cliffhanger i would say? i am not great at cliffhangers so i dont tend to do them a lot LMFAO

OH MY GOD THANK U SO MUCH!!!!! i try to flesh out the characters as much as possible-- i felt honestly a bit bad having secondary characters just being flat, so i tried my best to give all of them a bit of story whether they're static characters (like techno) or dynamic ones (like niki)!! so that means a lot thank u so so much!

my pal sophia told me a while ago that they envisioned like a specific house too and thats honestly so so cool to hear cos like i only barely have a vision of what everyone's place looks like? so hearing that means loads <333

YES YES YES YES I'M SO GLAD U NOTICED THAT DETAIL! not too ramble too much about myself but i also have some health issues that may possibly pertain to my chemicals (that's yet to be seen) but that kind of set me thinking, like. i dunno i never really read anything that talked too much about that and i wanted to see how that element would intersect with cs!ranboo's perceptions of his own gender (not in like that being what controls these perceptions, rather if that gives him euphoria/dysphoria/nothing etc)! i'm trying to work on including more like diverse perspectives and experiences especially ones i haven't fully had and i do think in some ways that cough syrup lacks a lot of representation (wish i had written more physically disabled characters but i definitely think retconning in that is worse, just kind of a note for future me to work on) i've been working on that. and that's just something that i felt very alone in with my own experiences but even though it's not the same for csranboo as it is me i think that's even more reason to include it. if that makes sense? anyway i'm just glad u liked that <333

ohhhh im so glad... i love colors :D

im so grateful for U this made me so so happy thank u friend!!!

(ofc! i never knew a ton about qprs until i got into this fandom and learning that helped me with figuring out i'm arospec! i definitely try my best to write them as realistically as possible, there's a lot of variation in qprs but i def do my best yeah!!! really happy people like it ik everyone has their own thoughts on how cbeeduo is best portrayed in terms of relationships but i like switching it up and for what cough syrup is about and how i wrote those characters that felt really important to me.)

[wsgeon]

hey everyone! ummm this is peyton (also the mun of lee hyeon) taking a second shot at a second character — i have a lot of muse for this one, so i swear he’ll be around for a while… 🥵 this is ryu geon, yes his name rhymes with hyeon’s & no i do not care ♥️ he’s the lead guitarist/vocalist of meta and also the son of a former nobody rockstar, but i’ll get into all that below! like this post if you’d like for me to come into your ims to plot, click the read more for more info on geon, and/or click here to be taken to his pages: CAREER, DOSSIER, PINTEREST.

HISTORY.

born in autumn ‘97 to a “budding rockstar” (translation: “no yeah i swear our band’s really starting to take off, we sold twenty-three tickets to our last show!”) & a woman with commitment issues ♥️ geon’s dad always told him that his mom left because she had some dire matters that needed to be taken care of and SWORE that she cried the last time she held her dear baby boy, but all of his dad’s bandmates say that she was just some groupie and had to be persuaded into carrying her child to term… who can say for sure?

naturally, there are no pictures of this mystery woman. there was one (1) of her holding infant geon, but then he found out that that was actually a sound tech who worked for his dad’s band… and he just never corrected geon’s assumptions LOLLLL

anyway! he was always really close to his dad, considering they were a two-person family. he has a set of grandparents, an aunt and a couple cousins but they were never involved with geon’s life because his dad is the #blacksheep of the family. geon and his dad against the world, am i right?

uhhh geon was also kind of a black sheep growing up, but he didn’t really notice? he was a happy kid, very energetic and enthusiastic. a lot of adults in the area looked down on him & his dad, but he was SOOOO blind to it because his dad’s a god in his eyes and HE’S always been nice to everyone, so why would they not like him??? because his clothes smelled a little like dad’s cigarette smoke??? big deal

wasn’t troublesome (beyond talking too much), but a lot of people still expected bad things from him :/ “his father’s a dirtbag, i’ll be surprised if that boy doesn’t end up in jail by 20”, “he won’t amount to anything without a proper role model in his life”, “his dad is teaching him how to slack off”, “he won’t contribute anything to society”, etc. he kindaaa picked up on this as he got older but pretended not to because it was more rewarding to play dumb and keep being a good kid(tm) to prove them wrong

was basically a mini version of his dad. same style, similar features, birthmarks in the same places, same “live today, die tomorrow” approach in life, same affinity for singing & playing rock music. ummm he loved his dad a lot. a lot. a lot. wanted to make him proud SO BAD, started his first band when he was 15 and they sucked so bad but his dad was their biggest fan… you know how it is. a lot of people misunderstood him, but he was a very good guy and such a great parent

TW DEATH unfortunately he passed away just shy of geon’s 18th birthday and your boy still hasn’t forgiven the world for taking his dad when he was in the middle of his angsty teen phase — had he known that their time together was dwindling, he would’ve been so so so much better to him END TW

his dad’s band actually rocketed into the charts after he passed & suddenly they were getting loads of publicity, lots of “what a shame that he went under-appreciated” which pissed geon off SOOOO bad because why couldn’t they have had that energy when he was still alive? he’s still mad about it five/six years later

this is getting kinda long, so uhhh tl;dr, he ended up staying with the drummer of his dad’s band until he was old enough to live alone/READY to live alone, but he changed quite a bit. was really going through it, quit his band, stopped putting effort into school. barely graduated. went from being a social butterfly spending every weekend at a gig or with friends to spending all of his time on a pc or in front of a tv, playing console games. the internet comforted him when nobody else would/could and then he met the future members of meta <33333333 #newbeginnings

present day geon is still struggling, has to go to counseling bi-weekly but he’s coming back out of his shell! he wants to fall in love with life again, just wants to tread carefully... outgoing & will talk to absolutely anyone, but he still spends most of his time alone. hard to reach by text, so if you wanna talk to him, you better call/facetime LMAO. talks a mile a minute, especially if you get him going abt something he really likes. laughs a lot, smiles a lot, more habitual than actual signs of happiness but yk. ummm he has a really loud voice, mostly controlled nowadays but he still gets carried away sometimes. an absolute menace during long drives/flights, sorry meta.

funny but only when he’s in large groups. feeds off of other peoples’ energy, really good at reading a room and breaking the ice/making everyone comfortable, but if you meet him 1-on-1, none of his jokes land quite the same.

i envision him as being the kind of guy who carries himself in such a way that you’d assume he’s really popular/out of reach/maybe even full of himself, but he’s... not like that... at all... in fact, he’s kinda irritating when you get to know him. the personification of a flood followed by a drought and vice versa, always either too much or not enough. gets used/ghosted/dropped/dumped/whatever a lot because he’s soooo fun in the moment (if he isn’t in his feelings), but draining long-term.

really emotionally intelligent, in touch with his feelings in a way that a lot of people never thought he would be (probably thanks to counseling tbh). he’s very very rarely the type of person who will make you wonder what your place in his life is — he’s communicative, kind, honest. ummm he thinks that intimacy between friends needs to be more common, so he’s really affectionate with the people in his life. type of guy to tell you he loves you every chance he gets (calling you when he’s drunk, sounding like a clingy ex type beat) & greet you/depart with a hug. losing his dad kinda fucked him up in the way that he won’t leave/hang up until his friends say “i love you” back, gets kinda (re: very) upset if he’s denied that and/or a hug.

TRIVIA.

has been playing the guitar “longer than he’s been walking” (not really, but he swears it’s true).

uhhh he really likes nail art, but he’s kinda hesitant in what he tries? mainly sticks to black polish (or other plain colors), but sometimes he’ll get little designs added in as well. mainly does it himself because he still doesn’t feel comfortable in salons... if his work looks bad, leave him alone <3 he’s trying

inspired by people like kurt cobain, nicky wire, yungblud, billie joe armstrong & damiano david in the fact that he’s not against wearing dresses or skirts on stage. doesn’t do it ALL the time, but often enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. some people say that he does it for attention because he doesn’t dress like that elsewhere and tbh they’re probably kinda right

interested in history (only SOME... dinosaurs, ancient civilizations, specialized areas like the history of circuses/clowns/skateboarding/punk, stuff like that yk), stand-up comedy & documentaries. could spend a whole day watching documentaries and would say he had fun, has a lot of useless knowledge that nobody gives a fuck about and is kinda dumb when it comes to things that matter

when it comes to music, he prefers playing really fast and heavy rock or punk over anything else, but he actually listens to a lot more soft indie on his own time... he’s too tense these days to be listening to anything else RIPPP

the vibe: homemade tie-dye, ripped slipknot t-shirts, frosted tips, neon crocs with alien & peace-sign charms, chipped black nail polish, calloused hands, cheesy pick-up lines used NOT to land a date but to pull a smile, driving until he’s lost, stupid socks paired with pressed suits, dramatic poetry in an iphone note, etc. 

PLOT IDEAS.

people he met through online support groups about coping with grief

uhhh an on & off relationship that’s been going for who-knows-how-long. the reason for this is up for discussion, but i imagine that he hasn’t given up yet because the constant highs and lows are a good source of inspo 🤪 artists must suffer for their art!

opposite side of the coin — someone he’s interested in, but he’s NOT disloyal so it’s a pattern of persistent courting when he’s single vs intense friend-zoning when he’s not and they’re getting tired of trying to figure out what he wants from them

someone else who likes nail art & can convince him that NOBODY cares if he goes to a salon

someone (probably female but doesn’t really matter tbh) who feels like his feminism is entirely performative… maybe they attack him directly for it or maybe they just REALLY don’t like him and they’re super vague about it idk. either way, please tell him that activism is much more than recommending one female artist a year and saying “clothes have no gender 🤪” so he can be praised for the bare minimum (his heart is in the right place but his skull is empty)

someone super introverted who comes out of their shell with geon! uhhh maybe they think that he’s the one doing them a favor, but in reality spending time with them has been doing wonders for his mental health

other people who like to skate. let’s congregate at the local skatepark and scare the middle schoolers away

someone who inspires him musically, for whatever reason. lots of late nights in studios, idly strumming his guitar and writing lyrics that definitely aren’t about how their eyes look in these dim lights… umm maybe he thinks he has a crush on them but really doesn’t and ends up hurting them eventually, maybe he really DOES have a crush but will (probably) never do anything abt it or maybe it’s entirely platonic and he just admires them a ridiculous amount

someone who likes to make music as a hobby, prob won’t publish/release any of it but it’s fun to imagine. spontaneous meetings with geon in the middle of the night, recording songs together and keeping the WORST takes for the laughs. there’s probably a diss-track of them going in on each other floating around somewhere even though geon can’t rap for shit

night owls who keep him company on the phone, even if they can’t be there physically. them talking really quietly vs geon shouting at them while he plays games LMAO

gaming buddies. come over, maybe you can carry geon through his game of the week or you can both fail but have fun while you’re at it… or you can scream while he fends off that hoard of zombies behind you

i’m typing this at the last minute (literally) so i’m gonna stop here, but i will get a proper plots page put up asap with a wider variety of connections!!! but as always, please do let me know if you have any other ideas. i’m always happy to plot and write with you all 🌚