#but it actually is pretty cool haha. although that function is annoying

[keithbutgay]

...could i convince you to do the way it ends... (also looks over at closer which is a varigo song. well. they're both varigo songs)

w

what

song do you

wanna

cover

( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)

/nf

*bouncing* ooh um well if we're doing something from death note the musical then i think it would be really fun to do a lawlight song. if not from death note the musical or any other musical then i really want to suggest closer by danielle keiko eyer but uh you probably don't know that one... i definitely want to hear your song choices though if you want!! i have no idea what i'm doing like ever

[randompurplepanthergorl]

Okay, so I'mma establish my AU version on this "Tord clone" that takes Tord's place in the end in the theory who I'll now call "Toni" and "Toni" will be it's name in the AU version of this, so I don't have to keep calling him "Tord clone" or "The Tord clone" cause repeatedly calling Toni that gets annoying cause A: He hates that, how'd you like it if you where a clone and it called you "(person) clone" and B: It's just generally annoying to keep typing "Tord Clone"

Okay, so more on the AU version of Toni aka, for the last time cause from now on I'm going to use the name I picked, The Tord Clone

So, Toni is that Tord clone that solved everything with guns, when he was first created he barely had a mind and just went "haha guns go brr" he knew how to breath and walk and weald a gun but that's literally it- He couldn't talk or do, well, ANYTHING OTHER than shoot a gun- So here's pre-Toni in this AU

AKA before gaining a mindset/whats actually canon-

So, in the clone genocide, it just grabbed a gun and just started shooting- Accidentally killing some clones in the process, Toni ended up surviving along side Blue-Matt (Who also exists and is still alive in this universe also yes Toni gets a real name while he's just called "Blue-Matt" *WHEEZE-*)

But after it was over Toni just left without anyone seeing- But it began feeling sadness, which he did not know what was at the time, so he started to gain emotions, soon to evolve into a proper mindset, he remembered what happened and realized almost all of his friends (Well, except Blue-Matt) and "Brothers (The other Tord clones)" where dead, and he was the accidental cause of some of their deaths,

Toni, due to him being originally a clone who just took "I like guns" and made it a whole character, developed an evil mindset,

Once Toni developed a personality and proper mindset, AKA developed into a proper functioning being pretty much, Toni is a lot like Tord but also a lot different,

They both like weapons, they both are good at tech, etc.

But Toni is cold and heartless, the only thing he cares about is guns and the clone friends it had and now lost, He's also chaotic and likes mischief at times

So, Toni developed a plan to get back at the main characters for killing all his clone buddies (Except Blue-Matt but he did not know it was still alive and well-) and clone "Brothers"

Anyways, while Toni was still "developing" Aka still gaining a personality and functioning mindset and learning new things he just aimlessly wondered around the streets lamo, but at this time he learned about the ability's he had (The clones have special traits in this AU, I'll explain later on) and once he fully developed he caught wind of the fact Tord left, thus evil clone plains commence

Basically, Toni's plan was to 100% look like how he last remembered Tord, which is not 100% accurate but close enough to fool someone, and gain info on everyone, but before doing so he rounded up an army, The Red army, no body knows what Toni "Truly" looks like (Air quotes cause his actual true form is, well, a twin version of Tord- But his "true" form is what he chose to look like, (the same but with the "psychotic" eyes and gnarly and cool monster teeth Toni also has a sharp chin like classic Tord cause ew ew ew why the fuck would he want the fucked up round face from EW Legacy-) because he finds himself the most comfortable both physically and mentally in that form because he CHOSE it)

Well, when he "let himself in" under the "Tord mask" they immediately thought he was the real Tord and vola The End ensues as Toni's plan succeeds, although as he was there he found out Tord had a G I A N T R O B O T hiding (Although in this AU Tord would have used it for GOOD and NOT EVIL like Toni did-), and he basically went "Sweet with this I can make technology to revive my clone buddies so I can be complete again!"

I think you can figure out the rest,

Although if Toni was good in this AU, his personality would be almost the same but leaning much towards the "mischief and chaos" traits, and he'd stay in the same chosen looks but he'd wear different clothes (Like Blue-Matt), and he'd hang around/live with Blue-Matt, basically how this version of his story would go is while he was still developing he stumbled apon the house again and they'd spot him and welcome him with open arms and batta bing batta boom Blue-Matt has a frien :D

So now some clone lore and Toni trivia in this AU (Did I seriously make my own lore on the clones for an AU? Yes.)

Clone lore in the AU:

-The clones can "Shapeshift" a little bit, not heavily but a little bit if they all stayed alive long enough they would have found this out but since only Toni and Blue-Matt survived only they know how to do this

-More on the "Shapeshifting" they can minorly shift their physical features but would still mostly look like the person they're a clone of cause, well, clone, the most they can do is change the teeth or eyes and maybe the body build and minorly the head shape if focusing hard enough but that's it, if they want to change their appearance more they got to do it like every normal human

-These fuckers are EXTREAMLY durable, hard to damage and have high pain tolerance, yes they can still die and get scars and injury's it's just harder to kill or at the very least injure one than it is to do so to a human

-They're also stronger than a human, not super strength strong but stronger than an average human same thing with speed but not as much

-If a clone gets scarred it only sticks in "one form" like take Toni as an example, he has a scar covered by a band-aid, well if he shifts to look more like Tord it's gonna vanish somehow? Same thing vice versa with the Red Leader Tord form scars, they vanish if he shifts to look more free-styled like normal

-The clones don't need to eat or drink to live, they COULD eat or feel hungry but it's NOT necessary to eat or drink for their survival, so a note that you can't kill them by starvation cause they can't starve or get sick from not eating-

-But they do still need to breath/they still need oxygen-

-Due to the machine they where made from being made from monkeys being taped together they could also climb objects and trees like a monkey

Toni Trivia:

-Both Toni and Blue-Matt by with "He/Him" or "It/It's" both of their genders being "clone" while being physically male with the other clones it's unknown other than the fact they where physically male-

-In the Evil Toni route, Toni picked his name from watching a TV series, he was pretty much fully developed and did not know the name "Tord" at the time and it did not want to just be called a "thing" so while watching TV he heard the name "Tony" but he hated the Y so he swapped it with an I

-It hates the letter "Y" for some reason???

-In the Evil Toni route yeah the Red Army knows what he really looks like he just shifts into "Red Leader Tord" form when commanding them or making public announcements and all that

-The injury's he received in Evil Toni route in the end of The End only stuck to the Tord form, if he shifts to Tord form it's gonna show those scars on his face but in "true" form poof they're gone :P but shift back to Tord poof they're back :P

-In the Good Toni route he stays in the same room as Blue-Matt, they're roommates

-Toni is technically a defective clone that could have ended up in the rejects room, the only reason he wasn't was because he watched the Evil Directors movie, back when he was only like "Derp I can't do crap cause I have a tiny clone brain rn" and was yet to develop, how he's defective is A: Have you seen how violent the canon version ALONE COULD be?? and B: His voice, it's different/incorrect it works but it's not correct the real Tord in this little AU has the classic Tord voice, Toni has the legacy Tord voice

-In the Good Toni route he got his name from Matt, when he was welcomed in like a lost puppy Matt wanted to name him and Edd and Tom where like "Sure whatever-" and "Well, we do need to call him something I guess-" basically the naming process went with Matt coming up with stupid names and everyone else, including Blue-Matt and Toni denying it, and Matt said "You look like our old friend "Toni" so I guess instead I should give you a similar name-" and Toni picked Toni from that sentence and pretty much went "Yoink. My name."

-In the Good Toni route he's like a goblin at night, once he was completely developed he'd crawl on the ceiling like Spiderman with plungers and grab and eat the most random things from the fridge, sometimes even empty Cola-cans A lot of times Blue-Matt would catch him but he never says anything to the others cause he finds it hilarious

-If Toni had "character themesongs" on the Evil route it would be Monster Ver. Kuraiinu on the Good route it would be FRIENDS - Anne-Marie & Marshmello | Male Cover by ZERØ

-If Tord ever met Toni in the Evil Toni route it would be in the middle of the takeover and he'd be yelling at him about that being his robot and not it's- But if he met him in the Good Toni route he'd most likely just stare confused until speaking up to say "Ah fuck looks like TWO clones survived-"

-Toni really likes Tord's hat/helmet from "Moving Targets" or "The End" or the "FNF Online VS: Challe-EDD" mod for some reason no body not even Toni knows what it is he just really likes it, he won't wear it all the time but he really likes it

-Toni would seriously lick the water from a puddle, sometimes even a muddy one someone has STEPPED in and go "mmmm cave water :]"

-

Well that's all I have for now- Should have I put a "Keep reading" link? Maybe. Did I? No. :P

Toni will probably return but that is all the info I have on him, reminder that this is now an AU and in the hc/theory version there is no character there just "clone" in this here AU version I swear at this point Toni could be a fan character-

[atopearth]

Fate/stay night Réalta Nua Part 2 - Fate Route (2/2)

Day 10 - 15 I don’t think I ever realised how deep the repercussions of Shinji activating the boundary field and sucking up the life force of the people in the school exactly was. Although we got to see (in the anime) people like Mitsuzuri not acting “normal”, when Shirou couldn’t sleep because he kept thinking about the people who had their skin melted, and how the lack of oxygen could severely affect their brain functions or other physical disabilities, it made me so mad that Shinji got away. Someone like him who could do such cruel things yet cry like a baby when he’s about to die makes me so mad and annoyed. Honestly, this is probably where I think Shirou is much more “mature” than Saber, he acknowledges that this tragic event occurred, he was powerless to stop it from happening, but he doesn’t dwell on kicking himself for allowing it to happen and wanting to go back to change it if he could (since he knows that such a thing shouldn’t be done on a whim even if he could do it). Instead, Shirou very logically understands that what he can and must do from now on is to prevent such a thing from happening ever again, and I think that’s really admirable, especially considering how much his guilt must weigh on him for being weak. But I guess that only makes him push himself even when he’s injured… It’s nice to see an explanation of the different Noble Phantasms that are either built to be anti-personnel ones where it’s really strong against people but “useless” against objects or armies and the other way around. Which i guess kinda balances out the different skills of each Servant since there’s no Noble Phantasm that is really effective against everything. I’m glad that Saber forced him to rest when he started looking around for Shinji, now Saber is being the less reckless one haha.

I guess the reason Shirou becomes who he is in “that future” is mainly because of the attitude he keeps up right now. Even Saber has noticed that he puts others before himself to the point that he doesn’t care about himself and doesn’t think about “saving” himself, and that’s probably what caused his life to go downhill when he realised how he sacrificed himself and everything for an ideal that gave him nothing in the end, whether it be satisfaction, happiness or any change in the world itself. He lives to become a protector of justice and yet neglects the importance of “Shirou’s” thoughts and feelings as a person instead of just the Shirou who was the only survivor in the last war, so he should do something with this life he was luckily blessed with by Kiritsugu. Wow, Rider on a Pegasus looked really beautiful, but at the same time eerie, considering she definitely lured Saber to the rooftop because she has a plan to defeat her. I definitely enjoy how Rider is living up to her name as Rider lol, to think she could summon a Pegasus from the times of the Gods and it’s actually powerful enough that its divine protection is even above Saber’s. I guess it was expected that Saber would have to use her Noble Phantasm Excalibur to defeat Rider (who took advantage of fighting in the air against Saber who is accustomed to fights on the ground). It’s just saddening that using it once depleted her mana so much that she might not be able to survive the next fight… It was nice to see Arturia/Saber’s past, I feel like she’s similar to Shirou in the sense that she never lived for herself either, when she was born, although she was tossed to an old knight due to her gender, she always trained properly as a knight knowing what her role in life was. She was born to be king and it was further proven when she was able to pull Caliburn(?) out of the ground. She knew her life could never be normal and accepted that, she knew she had to kill everyone to protect everyone around her, she took those responsibilities to heart so much, she always stood in the front lines to protect the people she felt she was destined to protect because she was the king, and nothing else.

It’s actually pretty cute how Saber has become more conscious of herself as a girl because of Shirou now, it’s nice to see her feel and be something other than a knight. But yeah, I always feel so sad about Archer being left behind to fend off Berserker so they can escape Illya’s castle, soo not worth it for Shirou and Saber🥺 But yeah, he did it to protect Rin so it can’t be helped, especially since there really was no other choice. The whole transplant with the Magic Circuit with the dragon inside of Saber etc was interesting… But what’s more interesting is how embarrassed Saber is towards Shirou now lol. It’s just such a contrast from how she acted before that it’s so amusing lol. It’s pretty amazing to hear that Archer dealt 6 fatal blows to Berserker before disappearing, if there’s only 6 “blows” left, that means Archer himself took Berserker to half health! Kinda crazy especially since Berserker gets enhanced strength and stuff for being berserk (has no rationality etc, even though he regained it for a second from the battle with Archer because of how interesting and worthy of a battle it was) and even Saber can’t match his strength. I love Archer😭

Although it’s super cool that Shirou could reproduce an imitation of Caliburn (the sword Saber pulled out from the ground), it’s still crazy to think that the attack they both used together could actually destroy Berserker’s body seven-fold with a single blow. Ooh I never realised that Masters could actually have more than one Servant, it’s just unfeasible due to having to split up magical power. Although I’ll never like Illya (look at all those deaths in the bad ends!), she is cute and honest, and I do love how she won’t have any other Servant except Berserker. Lmao when she said she’ll take Saber if Shirou loses since she doesn’t intend on allowing anyone except him to win the war, so she’ll win it in his stead if that happens lol. It was so cute when Saber used a napkin to wipe Illya’s cheek when it got dirty as she was eating. But I think when Saber said she did it because she didn’t want Illya’s beautiful hair to get dirty made me think that maybe Saber is so partial to it because of Irisviel (Illya’s mother).

I’m really glad the novel actually expands on Saber’s past, her thoughts and feelings much more, I always thought she was a shallow character in the anime, so it’s great to see this. “Nobody wanted her to be human, but they revolted against her because she didn’t have a human’s feelings”. I find this quote so saddening… Saber worked hard to be nothing but a “king” for the knights and the people around her because they all found it difficult to acknowledge her as one when she was just a kid that pulled out a sword, and yet when she succeeded in winning battles and leading them, they found dissatisfaction in the fact that even though she was capable, she didn’t have the heart to truly move or guide people because all she was, was some kind of being that was so great yet so difficult to understand. What she sacrificed to lead people in the end became what the people revolted against her for. It’s so… ridiculously ironic that it honestly breaks my heart to think about how difficult it must have been for Saber. She gave up herself and lived for these people that ended up going against her despite her doing her best in the only way she knew to lead them. She was always alone, but no one thought anything of it, because she was the king, and yet despite whatever misgivings she had as a king, the knights never questioned her until they decided to just leave her. Just as she never showed them and the people her emotions and thoughts, her people also never wanted that from her until they suddenly decided otherwise. I think by seeing all this, I can much more appreciate how the innocent, cute and sweet Saber acts in front of Shirou. It’s like, because of him, she was able to regain and show a part of herself that she had to always restrain inside because of how unnecessary it was to the world, and yet Shirou from the very beginning always insisted on treating her as a human, as a girl and as just any other person. How ironic it is that she was never treated as a human when she was alive, yet she is treated as one when she becomes a Servant. I think what must have broken her the most was her last battle against the knights that usurped her throne and split the country in two, making her fight in the soil she fought so hard to protect all these years. And I guess that’s why Saber can so assuredly say that Shirou’s way of living is wrong and will cause him grief in the future. Because they’re so similar in that they both completely disregard themselves as “anything” compared to the “importance” of others. On a lighter note, I love how simple and sweet their everyday life is, it’s so cute how much fun Saber and Illya have just sharing boxed lunches together in the dojo, they’re so adorable. Although I do have to really question how useful Saber and Shirou’s training has been if they’re both so reserved towards each other now lol.

The heroic spirit thing is certainly interesting… To think that heroes make a contract with the world in order to become a hero, receive powers beyond humans and then pay for this after death by becoming heroic spirits that could be summoned for the war… But Saber is different because she became a hero with her own powers and not by contract with the world, it was only when she was about to die that she made that contract to be a heroic spirit in order to obtain the Holy Grail (that she sought when she was Arturia). Hmm so right now, Saber isn’t exactly a Servant since her time has only “stopped”, but then when she gets the grail, she will die and become a heroic spirit as per the contract…and that’s why she can’t go into spirit form… it’s actually because she’s not dead😮 And unlike the other Servants who are essentially copies of themselves (so they disappear when defeated), Saber goes back to her own time (the moment before her death) instead. I wondered to what point Saber wants to change things, but to think she believes that maybe the sword chose wrong, so she wants to redo the selection in hope that a more “suitable” king would be found and her country wouldn’t be in ruins because of her. Honestly, although Shirou is mad that she has no regards for herself even to this point, and that he wants the Saber here to be happy (instead of just the Saber that will not be king if she really gets the Holy Grail), I’m mad at Saber for completely disregarding the ten years she fought for her country. Even if it ended in betrayal and shambles, even if that wasn’t the ending she desired, how can she disregard the lives she saved alongside the lives that were lost? What makes her think that this is entirely her responsibility? Just as she chose to pull out the sword, the others decided to follow her (even if it was in reluctance for a bit), the fall of a country isn’t someone’s sole responsibility. But I guess what annoys Shirou the most is that even though Saber tells him that he’s on the “wrong path”, Saber doesn’t even realise she’s doing the same thing as him. She only thinks of herself as the king that failed and must do something to rectify that when she doesn’t even really think of her own life outside of being king. 

Hahahaha, I love Tiger Dojo 9 when Taiga and Illya diss Saber for being weak, getting controlled by Caster and killing Shirou lmaoo. LOL at Saber getting her revenge on them riding a tiger hahahaha, omg these Tiger Dojos are so fun to read. Kinda sad that Caster has to interrupt during the heated conversation, sooo rude lol. Lmao at Saber wanting to use Excalibur against the horde of golems in Shirou’s house, lady, do you want to destroy everything and the people in the vicinity?! Caster feels like such a cheat though, not only can she cast magic without a Magical Circuit and with short incantations since she’s from the age of Gods or whatever, her Noble Phantasm is rigged even if it’s not “super powerful” like Saber’s. I’m surprised that Gilgamesh appeared to “save the day”. But anyway, I guess I’ve never been a fan of Caster and Gilgamesh because imo they kinda ruin the power balance in the story and makes things less interesting. Let’s see if the novel changes my mind for this haha. Maybe now I’ll get to see why Gilgamesh is so obsessed with Saber?

Honestly though, I find Saber so silly to think that if she herself was an incapable king, what makes her think that she is capable of properly selecting an “appropriate king” in her stead? Hmmm, how interesting that the Einzbern family were the ones who initially wanted to summon the Holy Grail but ended up getting cooperation from the Tohsaka family due to the need for their land, and then they got the Makiri family to try and balance things out, but since the first “war” ended in such a bloodfest, the Holy Grail War started changing into what it is now, with Einzbern providing the vessel, Tohsaka the land and model for the Servants, and the Makiri provided the Command Spells. I’m kinda glad that Shirou knows his feelings for Saber though, I mean he’s so obstinate about “saving” her and keeping her here so she can live a life for herself instead of others, it was about time for him to realise how important she was to him haha. Although I do feel like the romantic vibes are rather weak, I do acknowledge that their relationship is something more along the lines of they would sacrifice their lives for the other without even needing to think about it. 

LMAO when Tohsaka asked what Shirou was going to do tomorrow with such a serious face and he says he’s going to go on a date hahahha. Tohsaka was so cute when she burst out laughing at him. Their date was so awkward and yet so cute lol. I really liked their conversation at the bridge, it’s mainly a reiteration of what they both stubbornly want from each other; with Shirou wanting Saber to live her life for herself and Saber denying that because it’s her duty to attain the holy grail. They both care about each other but just can’t find a way for the other to understand what they want or must do. But yeah, I just really liked it because I guess it was nice to see more depth to Saber’s feelings, her pain and how much she wants to do what Shirou wants her to do but is unable to because she feels so bound to her duty. Mmmm I see! Gilgamesh is the king of heroes, a half God half human king that had a whole treasury of weapons (that are now Noble Phantasms because they’re now owned by heroes) and collected them his whole lifetime, and they were only spread through the land after his death. Even though Gilgamesh is infinitely arrogant and overbearing, it was rather respectable for him to use Ea, a sword that only the king of heroes possesses to face off against Excalibur. Although Gilgamesh won and was as detestable as ever, it was great to see Shirou relentlessly continue to fight half dead. What Saber couldn’t do, Shirou did, even if he was weak, even if he was tattered by Gilgamesh, he still stood because he no matter what desired to protect Saber, the most important person to him, and honestly although these scenes are cliche, I still really loved it because I could really feel Shirou’s desperation, and Saber’s hope for him to just give up and not hurt himself anymore. So when he was able to hurt Gilgamesh (and cause him to leave for some reason, probably because he felt so disgraced lol), and Saber held him up realising that he was her sheath (to Excalibur), that scene was really beautiful and heartwarming. Because not only does he really have Saber’s sheath (and that’s why his wounds always heal next to her), it’s already been said (in her past) that what’s more important than the sword is the sheath itself that will always protect her, and it’s kinda cute how Shirou is exactly that.

Oh dang, Saber in her sleepwear?! I’m surprised Shirou wasn’t excited! Hahaha, but I guess the atmosphere didn’t allow that. He kissed her, he showed her and told her his feelings very explicitly, but she couldn’t accept them no matter what, but she at least decided to hug him to sleep as a way to recover magical energy, and to spend one last night selfishly being Arturia rather than King Arthur. I… didn’t think I could get so disgusted with Kotomine. To think that all those children who were orphans from the fire ten years ago were taken in by the church and tortured all this time to give Gilgamesh the power to stay in this world…. Thinking about Shirou witnessing the scene of them all practically the living dead with missing limbs etc yet still “alive” really crushed me, because it’s so true, because Kiritsugu saved Shirou, he didn’t have to suffer like them, once again, he is the true sole survivor of that fire. It’s just so disheartening to think how that must feel and how much it must break him. Honestly, I feel sorry for Lancer that his Master is Kotomine. Although it would have been logical for Shirou to want the holy grail to undo the fire ten years ago, it was expected that he wouldn’t, since from the very beginning, he has never denied his past, he continues to carry it within him and apologise to the ones that died because he survived, but he has never thought that he would want to redo it. He always moved to change the present and only looked back for his resolve. So, I’m glad through him, Saber can understand how strong he is, and how wrong she has been. Just as it is cruel to deny the past, it is cruel to deny everything that happened after such an event. If she truly wants to change things, it should be done in the present. I’m glad she has come to terms with the decisions she made in her past. Even though it all ended in grief, those were her decisions and she did everything in accordance to her oath, there is nothing that she still needs to bear responsibility for. It must feel pretty crappy to be Saber though. She’s been fighting for the Holy Grail in two wars hoping that it would fulfill her wishes, only to realise that it’s just something that provides pure power of destruction to fulfill wishes since it’s the only way it can fulfill wishes. So really, unless she’s willing to sacrifice everything around her then really, this whole war was just pointless. But yeah, I really love Lancer. I love how he’s someone who follows his beliefs more than anything.

It’s nice yet saddening that Saber finally understands that Kiritsugu didn’t betray her. He knew this grail wasn’t what she wanted, not that he thought she needed it anyway, but after knowing what it really was, it definitely wasn’t what she wanted. It must feel terrible to have hated him for so long, only to realise that he was right, and that he wasn’t as bad as she thought. I see, Illya is a human made from a Magic Circuit, so that’s what the vessels are… I guess it’s kinda funny to call Gilgamesh and them OP when I guess Saber is always the OP one when Shirou gives her stuff like her proper sheath and sword. I honestly didn’t expect that the projection of her sheath could actually block Gilgamesh’s Ea and Kotomine’s black mud. I guess it’s a very flexible thing that can protect you from anything huh? Since it is apparently the greatest protection lol. And with that opening, both Shirou and Saber have the opening needed to defeat their opponent~ Shirou needs to thank Rin for giving him her Azoth dagger haha. Honestly though, I think Gilgamesh is less repetitively overbearing in the VN, I think regardless of how he was and how he acted, the grace he possessed after his defeat was definitely refreshing. Although it’s saddening that destroying the grail will lead to Saber disappearing, this is what they want and what is the best for their respective paths, because with this, they can finally accept everything they had done and finally move forward knowing that the path they have chosen is what they wanted. Saber’s confession to Shirou before disappearing was natural yet beautiful. It didn’t make me feel sad that they can’t be together, but instead I think I found a lot of relief from it, because both their existences helped the other come to terms with everything in their past and finally accept it for what it is and for what will come.

Omgg I love how Taiga took Illya in! Since Taiga is childish, they would get along so well! Hahaha. Although I guess it’s mainly Illya bullying Taiga hahaha. It was really nice to see Shirou keep up his normal everyday life yet have matured, it was really nice to see that. It was also really heartwarming to see Bedevere (Arthur’s loyal knight) fulfill Saber’s last wish of throwing the sword into the lake (to end her duty as king) and be able to see Saber/Arthur pass with a peaceful expression believing that her “dream” (of Shirou etc) will continue. Honestly, it felt like the whole route was made just for this to happen, because if it was the Saber before, she would never have been able to pass on in peace, but after everything that happened, this was the natural thing to happen, and it’s pretty worth it to see her be able to be happy about her decisions instead of regretting them for eternity.

Overall, although I did think the beginning was very slow and rather time consuming, I have to admit I did very much enjoy the Fate route. Although I don’t think the 2006 anime is exactly terrible as others say, I do think it really cut out a lot of Saber’s character that was quite thoroughly explored here. I think the thing I loved about it most was that I honestly expected it to be a very romantic route considering how Shirou acted towards Saber and how much he wanted to protect her throughout the whole route, but really, it wasn’t that romantic at all. Mainly because, I think Saber and Shirou’s relationship was there to make them both grow and accept their past, and move forward without regrets about how they could do better, and instead accept that they did what they could, that they did their best and that in respect for their past, they should hope to change the present instead of dwelling on the past. Honestly, I never really thought Saber and Shirou were similar until I played through this route, and it’s kinda cute how absolutely stubborn they both are (which is why Rin is so important to help them understand each other), and how they both refused to allow the other disregard themselves for others. I loved how the way they learnt to cherish themselves and their own lives was through looking and caring for the other so much that they couldn’t help but understand how important they were due to their need and love for each other. They both always put others before themselves because just as Saber was bound to her duty as king, Shirou was bound to his responsibility as the sole survivor of the fire ten years ago. But unlike Saber, Shirou never wanted to change the past, because he understood the importance of accepting events that have occurred, acknowledging mistakes and responsibilities and doing better in the present and the future. And I loved how although Shirou was annoyingly obstinate about stuff like Saber is a girl etc, it was his way of trying to convey to her that she already gave her whole life to being a king, she didn’t need to sacrifice her afterlife to being responsible for other people anymore. I honestly thought Saber’s meeting with Shirou was such a blessing for her, because it was through him that she was finally able to find peace in the decisions she made in her life, and yet was still able to experience a fun “dream” with Shirou and others as “Saber”. Tbh though, when I was reading through the route, a lot of things did feel tedious, but I think it all built up very nicely to the finale, because it was through all those “annoying” moments that I was able to see how worth it it was for Shirou to be so persistent about “saving” Saber, and I’m so glad he was so annoying about it hahaha. And it was nice to see that Shirou’s will to save and help people really ended up saving himself and Saber.

[callmeakumatized]

Sugarcoated - Ch. 3

Prev. Ch. Ao3 FF.net

[[ A/N: So, this was supposed to have a countdown to Valentine's Day, but…I couldn't bring myself to post anything over the weekend. It was…hard? I don't know how to say it. It didn't seem right to go on as if nothing happened. Because something DID happen. And although my world is still turning, it seemed unfair to post something when so many other people's had sudden stopped.

Over the weekend, Maerynn, a pretty well-known Miraculous fanfic writer ("Under Lock and Key", "Bring Me Home", etc.), passed away in a car accident, leaving behind her loved-ones, including her children.

Although I didn't know her personally, something about her sweetness and the way that she seemed to bleed into everyone's lives in one way or another touched my heart deeply. She will be missed. A lot. Not just for her amazing works in writing, but for all the things she did to brighten others' lives. And so I want to dedicate this work to her, and to those who, like this miraculous lady, were unable to finish here on Earth what they started, whether works of art, raising your family, finishing a college degree, or finally saving up enough to travel the world.

This is for you.

And I hope, wherever you are, you know we're thinking of you.

And I hope, wherever you are, it puts a smile on your face.

xoxoxo - Maki<3 ]]

Day 3 Prompt:

“When your OTP is in an intense argument and their faces get closer together but then they stop talking…

…and they look at the others’ lips.”

Plagg was, in essence, naughty.

He was a naughty Kwami with low moral standards and a high interest in wreaking havoc. It was a dangerous combination in the best of creatures. Which Plagg was definitely not.

It took him about two minutes to decide that he was bored with Adrien and start wandering around the room, looking for sweets of some sort. This chick was small and cute, and, historically speaking, small and cute girls had an affinity for keeping yummy things close by. Plagg didn't know why. It just was.

When he spotted the cookies, he knew he was in luck.

Adrien continued to prattle away, but Plagg was enjoying a sound noseful of the delicious scent of warm chocolate. It wasn't cheese, true – not even remotely close on the scale of acceptable entrées for the picky Kwami – but the baked goods were fresh, the chocolate chips still gooey to the touch. But moments away from losing himself completely and sinking his tiny teeth into one of the delectable treats, he saw something that made his belly flip in all the best ways.

Because, of course, she would be here.

Of course his Ward would have a crush on the girl he also claimed was the bane of his existence.

The books exploded off the shelf in Plagg's sudden takeoff to chase the creature who had dashed behind them. Like he hadn't seen her. Like he couldn't smell her now that he knew she was there. Plagg wasn't deterred by a little game of chase – he was a cat. This was playtime for him. He completely ignored Adrien's shout to knock it off, instead zooming into the knitting basket with a fwoomf! Amongst the soft yarns the bounced and cool steel of the knitting needles, Plagg only had eyes for his prey: a little red Kwami, buzzing angrily beneath him.

Plagg threw his head back and laughed.

"String cheese," Adrien muttered through gritted teeth, "for a week if you don't knock it off!"

"Isn't that what I just did?" Plagg retorted smugly, gesturing to the books on the floor and in Adrien's hand.

Adrien scowled. Something in the last minute had caused Plagg have some sort of sudden, gleeful vendetta against Marinette's entire room. After knocking the books off the little shelf and then divebombing into a basket full of yarn, the kitten Kwami had set out to destroy everything, laughing like a maniac the entire time.

Was the little pest trying to get him in trouble with this girl!?

Adrien continued to mutter to himself while going about, attempting to right all the things Plagg had set out to destroy (Marinette hadn't organized her books that specifically that she would notice if one was out of place, right!?) When muttering angrily hadn't worked, threatening did; within a moment after saying the words, Plagg had conceded to Adrien's threat in lieu of low-grade cheese substitution, and was now "helping" (mostly by not destroying things. But Adrien wasn't going to complain).

A wood-on-wood rubbing sound drew Adrien's attention to were Plagg seemed to be having a tug-of-war match with one of Marinette's desk drawers, pulling on the handle with all his might. Adrien rolled his eyes before going over to help. A sudden squeak from under the drawer made Adrien jump; the drawer suddenly popped open, sending Plagg and a large assortment of papers flying through the room. Adrien groaned before scrambling hurriedly to snatch them up.

Now, could he really be blamed for looking at what was in his hands?

And could he really be in any sort of trouble when he looked in the rest of the drawer to see several of the same sorts of well, literal photographic evidence of something that made him incredibly happy? Giddy, even?

"Ugh!" Plagg said suddenly, breaking Adrien out of his reverie. "Take that lovesick look off your face! It's disgusting!"

Though Adrien couldn't very well remove his smile, fixed as it now was, he did rush to finish cleaning the rest of the room.

(Plagg, unbeknownst to Adrien, watched the added kick in the boy's step with a smug smile.)

Though Marinette and Adrien had never set anything in place "officially", the two had always sort of had an…understanding between each other. From the time his umbrella passed into her hands, the two had been somewhat inseparable. Now, there was no talk of "feelings", no DTR between them; the shy pair was too afraid to lose something that they ended up never starting anything. However, they were very exclusive in the sense that they wouldn't go out with anyone else. When someone else asked them out on dates, they would politely refuse. And when there was a school dance or other function, no one was ever surprised to see them go together, though they seemed to toe the line of "platonic" and "something more" every time. Moving past polite pleasantries was not in their repertoire.

For his part, Adrien was…well, Adrien was terrified.

What if she realized how socially inept he was?

What if she ended up not liking his sweet-sauce sense of humor?

What if she thought he was a complete dorkasaurus!?

So, no…Adrien made no move forward. Even though he desperately wanted to.

This, though? This tangible piece of evidence he had just stumbled upon? This gave him some hope in that department. And maybe a sweet stroke to his ego. Because, Adrien mused while he shoved the lot of them back into the drawer, why else would a girl have tons of pictures of a boy hidden in her room?

Without meaning to, Adrien giggled. Then turned on his Kwami, trying to look cross, as the situation demanded of him.

"You shouldn't have shown this to me," Adrien scolded, trying as hard as he could to actually mean the words. "I know you did that on purpose."

His Kwami only scoffed. The little cat had given up altogether in his pretend helpfulness at righting the room, settling instead on the plate of cookies, munching away happily (yes, taking a bite out of each one, just to annoy Tikki). With a loud swallow, Plagg finally answered nonchalantly,

"The drawer was stuck, you were helping me, end of story."

This time, Adrien scoffed in quick reply.

"That is not what happened. How did you even know these were there?"

The next few minutes were spent in an escalating argument, Adrien starting to really lay into Plagg about the mess he had made, and Plagg just rolling his eyes in response, or sassing his Ward with some well-placed words.

BANG.

Adrien let out a very manly yelp when the trap door suddenly smashed open.

Before Adrien could even get a good look at her – and before the lovesick smile could slide back onto his face, she was on him like butter on toast.

…She was smooth like butter, and he was definitely toast.

She had pounced on him hard enough that they went rolling across her bedroom, Adrien having no clue as to what was going on. All he saw were limbs and a hard floor until they stopped. Panting slightly, he looked at the girl now straddling him with arms on either side of his head, and felt his face blanch at the sight of her murderous look.

"This is going to be a really short fight, Chaton, if you don't decide to defend yourself." Marinette purred in a low voice before blowing stray hairs out of her face. "That's the only warning you get."

Haha…cute. She gave me a nickname.

Wait.

NO.

NONONONONONONONONO.

Adrien tried to deny it. He tried to convince every cognitive force in his brain to stop connecting the dots, to stop painting the complete picture in his head. But there it was anyway, a masterpiece framed in blue-eyed fury and midnight hair.

And now…what?

Now…

And now…

Chat had to win this.

Or…escape. Maybe both somehow.

In a practiced move, Adrien deftly flipped Marinette off of him. She landed onto her chaise lounge in temporary shock, and Adrien immediately headed for the trap door.

"Nope!" he shouted over his shoulder. "Not dealing with this right now! I'm out!"

"You are not!"

Ah, apparently escape was not in his cards today.

In a surprising stroke of good luck, Adrien was able to look around before Marinette was on him again. This time, he was ready. This time, it was so. ON.

Adrien casually moved out of the way of her aggressive attack, but instead of her running into her desk as he had planned, the small girl jumped up and scaled the vaulted wall before flipping back onto him. Adrien readied himself, allowing her momentum to take them both down before sliding out from under her and landing a swift kick on her back. With a small "oof!", Marinette skidded across the floor and twirled until she was on her feet. But Adrien was already on her, grabbing her hands behind her back and slamming her face-first into the window.

"I thought gentlemen weren't supposed to attack ladies," she growled out through heavy breathing.

"I'm glad you see me as a gentleman," Adrien retorted, equally winded, "but you are no lady."

Marinette barked out a laugh, dropping so suddenly to the ground that Adrien smacked his face into the window. Not wanting to lose the upper hand, Adrien spun around and dropped into a defensive stance, only to see Marinette a few feet away, ripping some sort of hanging projector screen from the ceiling under her loft bed. Her heated stare made him pause for a moment; the hesitation cost him, though, and in the next second, Marinette leaped up to easily gain the high – though unsteady – ground on the chaise lounge. Marinette swung at him when Adrien started to circle the little sofa like the predator he was.

"I can't believe you tricked me into liking you!" she yelled at him.

Adrien laughed humorlessly. "I can't believe you think I would do something like that." Another swing in his direction, and Adrien slowly made his way back to the disheveled desk. "Gall! I thought you were sane, Marinette, but you really are one crazy chick!"

"Takes one to know one!" she mimicked back at him in a mockingly sweet tone, using his own words from the night before.

Adrien grabbed a handful of books and started chucking them at Marinette. She started swinging her screen thing in her hands like a baseball bat. The books were flying in both directions across the room, creating a messy topping to the overall ruffled appearance of the pink space their tousle had caused. They continued tossing insults and books at each other, only pausing momentarily when Marinette urged Adrien in a suddenly normal voice, "Oh, not that one, that one's my design sketchbook."

Adrien put it down gently, then, in a sudden change of demeanor, dove for Marinette's ankles, succeeding in knocking her off balance. She toppled on top of him, her makeshift weapon, as Adrien had hoped, skittering onto the floor. With a sound shove, Adrien knocked Marinette completely off the lounge on the other side, leaving him free to pick up her discarded…schedule?

Adrien paused for a moment, scanning the detailed agenda curiously. Since when did Marinette have photoshoots? Or take fencing? Or have Chinese lessons…on the same days and times…as…him…wut.

Despite finding out that the constant thorn in his side was also this amazing friend in disguise, Adrien could not help feeling all the creeped-out flattery that came with this most recent discovery.

When he turned to Marinette and saw her horrified face, he grinned cheekily.

"Geez, Princess," he purred, laying his head on crossed arms on her lounge, staring at her. (If he was Chat Noir, his tail would be flicking excitedly.) "I didn't know you were so obsessed with me."

He expected to knock her off guard. He did not expect her to invade his space, leaning on her arms across the lounge until she was almost touching his nose.

"Totally obsessed, Adrien," she hummed in return, her voice low and quiet. "So much so, I'm just begging you to let me kiss your other cheek."

This time, Adrien took the first pounce. In one fluid movement, he had her pinned to the ground, body sitting on her legs, hands holding hers up by her head.

"I think that's enough playing around for you, M'Lady."

She struggled, grunting with the effort, and Adrien would've laughed at the scene if he hadn't had to concentrate every effort to maintaining his – probably brief – dominance.

"I hate that you're so nice to me!" Marinette suddenly shouted out at him furiously.

Adrien scowled, the words somehow making sense to him unlike how they wouldn't to any normal person.

"I hate that you always make me smile!" Adrien shouted back, leaning closer for emphasis.

"I hate your sunshine hair!" Marinette writhed under his hold, trying to wriggle free.

"I hate your pretty eyes!" Adrien spat out through gritted teeth.

Marinette suddenly paused, chest heaving from the roughhousing and probably from the physical pressure he was putting her. She stared up at him, and her face flushed red, though he didn't think it was from strain or effort. Her features relaxed slightly, and Adrien felt his own mouth clamp shut in subconscious response.

"You…think my eyes are pretty?" she whispered.

And yet Adrien could still hear her…because, somehow, they had gotten…so close.

He gulped.

"Yes," he whispered back

The only sound in the room was labored breathing between two teens.

She smelled faintly like sweat, and Adrien realized how hot she was under him.

Okay, not like that, but…okay, exactly like that.

Ladybug in civilian clothes…Marinette…Marinette dressed as Ladybug…covered in tight red spandex and saving Paris. Saving Paris with that dark hair and that fluttered playfully in the wind, the girl tough as nails yet cared so deeply for others. With those big blue eyes…and…a-and those pink…lips…

Without thinking much more about it, his eyes darted down to her lips and back again, in time to see that she had just done the same.

This time, Marinette gulped.

A little red blur suddenly started flitting around their heads, darting in between their faces. Adrien yelped in surprise – and, of course, again, in a very, very manly way.

"Wha – eh hem – what is it, Tikki?" Marinette said in a small voice. Adrien studied her face, noticing that for the first time she looked truly bothered.

"Oh, Marinette," said the tiny Kwami in a sugary voice, laced with…disappointment? "There's a lot I want to say, but right now, you're going to be late for school!"

Marinette looked passed her Kwami into Adrien's face. Adrien stared back for only a second before doing what was second nature for him to do around her, and grinned widely. Marinette frowned before shoving him off of her.

Adrien scrambled to his feet just in time to tug Marinette back by the arm before she descended downstairs. Clearing his throat, he shoved her into her closet.

"Hey!" she shouted and looked like she was going to lay into him again, but Adrien only held up a hand in abrupt dismissal.

"You, uh, you look like crap," he admitted harshly, remembering that she really at just attacked him…after biting his cheek the day before. But…he still cared enough about her to make sure she didn't go to school like…that. "You should change. I'll, uh, I'll cover for you."

Marinette only gave him a hard stare, seeming to be caught in conflicting emotions.

Adrien could relate.

Before Adrien made it down the stairs, though, Marinette called down from her room.

"Adrien!"

He looked back to see her head floating in the opening of her trapdoor.

"Fix your hair."

Five minutes before school started, and Adrien was standing in the guys' bathroom, trying to set his whoosh style back in place and staring at the mark on his cheek again. His Lady's mark.

He grinned  to himself.

Marinette's mark.

Somehow…everything bitter suddenly tasted very, very sweet.

[ihavetoomuchhomeworkforthis]

Alright so since I started basing their blood functionality partially off of honey, my brain immediately wanted them to have some sort of symbiosis with some kind of alien bee. Or really just anything because symbiosis is cool

The part below the cut is really long, but if you have the time and are at all interested, PLEASE read it, because I'm really excited about it.

I also posted a lot of other stuff with the tag "photosynthetic vulcans" if you'd like to check that out.

I don't know how this would work. It isn't like they need to get pollinated, we've already established that they reproduce asexually by growing non-exact clones, even if some aspects of the babies are based off of acorns and sloths.

And that would be pretty annoying and embarrassing and stupid and dehumanizing (devulcanizing?) to have an insect come over and try to f*cking POLLINATE you at literally any given moment.

A good starting point, since I keep comparing them to trees, would be to see if trees have any symbiotic partner creatures.

However, a bit ago, I typed "non-exact clones," which reminded me of something. In the post I made about the baby Vulcans, I said that I wanted them to reproduce by asexually growing clones, but acknowledged that this was bad for genetic diversity, and handwaved it with a "maybe different environmental conditions can make them different enough."

Maybe they don't have to only rely on differences in environmental exposure! Maybe the acorn babies also sprout colorful flowers while growing to attract the alien bees! Maybe the alien bees go around to everyone with flowering acorn babies and spread genetic diversity that way, so it LITERALLY takes a village to raise a child! Maybe the alien bees ALSO go to normal flowers, and this influences the babies as well! Maybe the Vulcans tease each other about what flowers they choose to have around the house while "pregnant," because the effects of different flowers are different!

"Dude, did you seriously just plant [X flower]? While your kids are in FULL BLOOM? Get that OUT of there, that's almost as bad as smoking and you know it!"

"Haha, you actually planted THAT MUCH of [Y flower]? Going to have a reeeal pretty baby, huh"

"Here, I noticed your arms beginning to bud, take some [Z flower sproutlings]. I know you're trying to hide it, you clearly want to keep them and just not tell anyone yet, so I'm sorry I saw, but you really like my daughter right? I had a lot of [Z flower] around the house while she was blooming, and I'm not sure of the effects precisely, but I thought you might like it if your kids ended up with a tidbit of her personality."

Every community probably has a public garden, and you bet that everyone loves the bees and makes sure nothing gets at their hives.

Earlier I mentioned that the bees might "go around to everyone with flowering acorn babies and spread genetic diversity that way," but that's not really necessary if they just have a wide variety of flowering plants. Also it would be pretty unlikely.

It might get embarrassing if more than one Vulcan's acorn babies ARE in the flowering stage at once, because then there's the chance of the parents sharing tiny bits of genetic codes with each other's children, although not NEARLY to the same degree as reproducing the human way. But fortunately that would be really unlikely considering that babies only happen once every 7 years, and even then, many Vulcans probably choose to pick off the acorns before any significant growth starts if they don't want kids, and even if it almost aligned, the blooming periods would probably be different. About the same chances of finding someone who lives near you who not only has the same birthday as you but also the same birth year.

Also it probably affects their appearance! If you have enough of one type of flowering plant around your house, and have a beehive close by enough that that one plant and your bab(ies) are the primary options for the bees, then your baby's eventual foliage will probably mimic the foliage of that plant, or their eyes might come out the same color as the petals of that flower, or their personality might mimic personalities ascribed to that plant. (This last one is almost entirely just superstition, but some examples based on Earth flowers: sunflowers-happy, dandelions-resilient, thistles-antisocial)

Of course, bees aren't normally limited to one type of food source, so your baby will probably recieve genetic code from a wide range of different plants, and that's really better for everything.

But you can bet there would be SO much superstition and advice and stuff surrounding this.

*someone suddenly plants a bunch of purple flowers*

"oooh, is someone hoping to get a purple-eyed baby? Is it because you like [person with purple eyes]?"

"Shut up, no it isn't! I just think purple eyes would be cool, okay??"

Maybe this is why Spock looks like he's got eyeshadow, his parent planted a bunch of blue and purple flowers and it showed up there instead of in his irises.

Maybe humans get really excited about the color of their Vulcan crush's eyes. Maybe heterochomia is really common in Vulcans. Maybe in addition to acorn-related insults, Vulcans get "flower boy" and "rainbow-eyes" related insults.

"You Vulcans and your stupid rainbow eyes."

"You're just jealous some of us get to have red eyes without contact lenses"

"I should never have told you I thought your eyes were cool. They're not, I hate them, shut up."

*smiling internally* "you are untruthfully contradicting your previous statements. This is most illogical."

*smiling aggressively and ignoring the jab* "so what flowers did your eye color come from, huh flower boy?"

*also ignoring the insults* "probably mostly [A and B flowers], why? Are you budding? If you're hoping to grow your own red eyed babies, I can ask my father to send you some." *condescendingly* "oh wait, you can't, hmm?"

So I found this on Google, and I accidentally ended up having a megabrainstorm session with my dad about if Vulcans were actually photosynthetic, or really just how photosynthetic humanoids would work in general and how they'd function on a Starfleet ship? It was more like me ranting excitedly at my dad for a few minutes, but there were some cool ideas in there. (I mean I think they're cool, hopefully you guys do too)

Warning: EXTREMELY long (and nerdy) bullet point list follows under the cut

green skin because chlorophyll

possibly even leafy skin, which might end up looking more like scales, but with patches of softer more leaf-like areas where we'd have more body fat and/or body hair

(they can still have that Vulcan hair though, since it's sort of a defining trait/style of the species in Star trek)

This means they have to absorb sunlight through their skin, and convert it into energy in the form of glucose, like trees

Therefore they'd have to have glucose (not copper) based blood (but the melting point of sugar is really high? Hadn't quite worked that part out)

Their blood would be white then? Amber, like tree sap. Wait actually don't some flowers/green stemmed things have white sap in the stems? (Maybe their blood would change from white to amber as they age? I know flowers aren't younger versions of trees, but it would be cool)

and they'd have to drink water just as much as humans because plants need water (as Chekhov is panicking about) but maybe since Chekhov is worried about "watering" spock, their hair can function like roots or something to soak up extra water as well. Idk if it rains much on Vulcan but when it did they'd all be going outside like the worms do on Earth lol

They wouldn't really have to eat if sunlight is their primary energy source. Their mouth would be just for water, breathing, and speaking. In which case they'd have ALL different organ systems, seeing as our digestive system takes up a good chunk of space in the torso, what would they fill it with? Being humanoid, they'd still need lungs, as well as a heart to circulate the (glucose based?) blood. They can still have a liver as a toxin filter and whatever else livers do (trees have to deal with not-so-clean water, so the photosynthetic Vulcans could probably deal with pretty muddy/questionable water as well. And maybe that connects to a very basic digestive system (liver-filters > short and singular intestine > rectum) which is mostly just for getting rid of the mud (yes, pooping.) And the liver can also deal with dusty/sandy air probably. Oh they might not need to eat (maybe even CAN'T eat since they wouldn't need or have the organs to deal with it) but they could drink liquids other than water, and it might be helpful/necessary to drink sugary fruit drinks if it's been cloudy for a few days, because humanoids expend a LOT more energy than plants probably do. They probably have a "stomach" which acts as a storage and distribution-into-bloodstream area for water and sugar, a little like how a camel's hump works, so it might not only be "OMG did anyone water Spock today!?" But also "OMG Spock fainted, somebody get him fruit juice!" *frantic running to the mess hall* *20 ccs of sugar* "I told you to drink more sugary stuff, our artificial light here just can't give you as much energy as your THREE ENTIRE SUNS back home, you ****ing idiotic hobgoblin!" *definitely not crying over Spock's wellbeing*

Idk what would make up the rest of their torso since they don't need as much space for organs. Heart, lungs, liver, one intestine + waste management, storage stomach, and the rest of ours is primarily taken over by about 15 feet of scrunched intestines, so maybe for them it's all leg, or they could maybe have a redundant extra pair of lungs, and/or another heart, especially to lessen the workload since tree sap is significantly thicker than human blood? Or maybe all the water would thin it out? Or one heart is more connected to the skin where they absorb light energy and cycles the glucose-based blood (which goes from white to amber as they grow up) and the other heart connects more to the water/fruit juice storage stomach and cycles water as well as somehow sends old water off to get peed out? And they should also have an organ that somehow counters sunburn and helps then deal with their world's elevated levels of radiation.

So: two pairs of lungs (for no real reason), two hearts (and two circulatory systems?), one for water and one that's more for the nutrients of glucose from sunlight, a storage stomach, a liver, an organ that deals with radiation and sunburn, a short intestine for the undrinkable parts of potentially muddy/contaminated water, the rectum to poop out the mud, the kidneys/bladder/urinary system for old water, and I think that's it.

I've been occasionally researching (googling) during the process of writing this, and I found that trees actually do have 2 different kinds of sap! Phloem is the "more nutrient rich form, and flows from the leaves bringing sugars and hormones to nutrient-hungry parts of the plant," while Xylem "consists mostly of water" so it's perfectly reasonable for them to have 2 hearts, one for each kind!

But how can we design starships to be more Vulcan-friendly then, if they need so much light? Well first of all, having sugar as an option for hyposprays in the medbay/sickbay, as well as plenty of sugary drinks available in the replicators, and the sugary fruit drinks shouldn't "cost" as much in rations since the Vulcans sort of need it as much as they need water when they aren't able to access direct sunlight. Speaking of which, all the hallways should have strips of light off to the side (one on the floor and another shining down from the ceiling above it) that the Vulcan crewmembers can walk through, and there should be a solarium room which does its best to replicate at least the lighting and radiation conditions of Vulcan (the planet). This solarium should have the light panels be able to slide away to reveal actual windows, and starships with any Vulcans in their crew should be required to spend a minimum amount of time every so often in orbit of an actual sun or star system so that the Vulcans can have genuine sunlight. It would be really funny if Spock just had a spotlight that follows him around like Olaf's snow cloud in Frozen, but it would be more practical if his station on the bridge just had extra light panels which are positioned in some way so as not to shine in his eyes. Also, this photosynthesis sort of depends on their skin actually being exposed to light, so the uniform would probably be modified for Vulcans to be short sleeves and shorts despite how weird that would be, or it would be designed like tinted glass somehow, or... some other way of letting the light in without being immodest, idk

And now for a very important question: some trees are deciduous, yes? Oh dang it I just googled whether Vulcan has seasons and the answer was no. Scrolling down pointed out that Vulcan is a desert planet and so they'd naturally be able to go without water for longer periods of time than humans. That second one is okay, that's why they have a water storage organ sort of like camels, and I guess maybe they wouldn't need so much water after all. More like cacti than trees. But the no axis tilt / no seasons thing sort of cancels out what I was about to write :(

I'll write it anyway. Let's pretend for a second that Vulcan has seasons, because this whole thing can really apply to "photosynthetic humanoids" in general, not just photosynthetic Vulcans in particular. So, I was about to talk about deciduous trees :) When the seasons shift towards winter, the sunlight is weaker, trees go red before losing their leaves and sort of hibernating, right? Well what if Vulcans start going pale, then yellowy, and eventually taking on a pale reddish hue, and since they can't lose their skin to conserve energy, they consume as much sugar/fruit juice as they can over a period of a few weeks, before going into hibernation like bears?

This means that your Vulcan crewmate is kind of useless for at least a quarter of every year, which isn't really a problem unless they're a senior officer, but if they ARE a senior officer, they better have an apprentice or someone who can cover for them while they hibernate. Maybe another Vulcan from the opposite side of the planet, who would naturally hibernate during the opposite half of the year.

Would this Vulcan and their opposite-side-of-the-planet counterpart be best friends, or bitter rivals? Who knows!

Now, starships do not actually have seasons, so the hibernation cycle wouldn't be technically necessary. The Vulcan has two options: either slowly adjust to the year-round availability of sunlight over a period of multiple years so that they don't have to abandon their crew for a few months out of every year (and be SEVERELY messed up if they ever retire and go back to the hypothetical version of Vulcan which has seasons), OR, make sure that the availability of light mimics the seasonal cycle of pretend-Vulcan-with-seasons so that they can have their hibernation cycle properly. (Clearly the better option if they aren't a senior officer, especially if they don't plan to spend the rest of their life on the ship.)

Also it would be really cute to see what kind of pillow fort nest Spock would probably end up making in his quarters to hibernate in. I wonder if they'd visit him.

DO NOT WAKE THE HIBERNATING SPOCK. Google says waking up an animal from hibernation too early can have fatal consequences. On the other hand, it also said bears can wake themselves up immediately to protect cubs if necessary or if they're startled awake, so maybe he can respond to red alerts. However going based off the first point, it might be necessary to completely soundproof his quarters and make sure he remains undisturbed. And yet another possibility is that photosynthetic Vulcans wouldn't need to hibernate at all if they come from a part of the planet which is mostly friendly year-round (which would technically be true, since it doesn't actually have seasons at all, and they would choose to have civilizations in the most habitable areas. Maybe civilizations closer to the poles would have Vulcans that are naturally paler or more reddish, like how the Aenar on the Andorian homeworld are blind and paler.)

Animals coming out of hibernation can have lost up to 30% of their body weight (over a QUARTER), so Vulcans coming out of hibernation would look so sick and weak, and they'd probably take a while to get their full green color back, and the more soft leafy areas of higher body fat would have shriveled into just the small scale-like leaves that make up the majority of their skin, and their uniforms would be all baggy on them, and the human crew would probably be so so so worried for them, especially the first few hibernation cycles

*Spock stumbles onto the bridge for the first time in several months, pale orange-red and extremely skinny* "Oh my god, Spock!" (overjoyed at his return) -- "Oh my god Spock you look like crap, are you alright?" (softer and full of concern upon actually noticing what he looks like) -- "This is perfectly normal, I'll be fine, you need me on du-" *faints*

[zosonils]

Consider this: a SU-style fusion of Sonic and Amy.

As a watcher of Steven Universe and a long-time Sonic fan, I felt like it was my duty to do this. It was a lot of fun designing them, and I’ll probably make more fusions in future (because it’s such a cool concept honestly).

Putting some more information about them under the cut!

I’m not really sure under what circumstances they’d decide to fuse. Probably they’d do it if they were in the middle of a battle where they needed more physical power on their side, but I feel like Sonic and Amy wouldn’t be able to just do it because it’s fun and it looks cool or what say you. They aren’t always in sync, and it’d be difficult for them to maintain any kind of fusion for a long time if they weren’t both in agreement of what to do with it.

Their fighting style would likely be a combination of Sonic’s high-speed antics and fast attacks, alongside Amy’s melee combat abilities. The hammer would function similar to a Gem Weapon of sorts, as something they could take out of (forgive the incoming pun) ‘hammerspace’ when necessary. It works like Amy’s hammer, as a highly powerful weapon that requires very little strength to manoeuvre, as well as gaining the ability to spin at high speeds similar to how Sonic attacks. They can Spin Dash like Sonic can, although the different proportions make it a little less effective than it is when he’s on his own, so they mostly take just his pure speed.

Some facts about them:

-They’re extremely friendly. This comes as a combination of Sonic’s natural desire to help people and Amy’s openness with her feelings.

-Their fusion dance would likely consist of a lot of fast movement and doing cool backflips and all that good stuff. If I had to put a song to it, I’d say Press Garden Act 1 from Sonic Mania, as it has an upbeat tune and electric guitar instruments that give off Sonic’s vibe, coupled with an elegant and dramatic style reminiscent of Amy’s character.

-They will stab someone for Tails. He’s extremely important to both their components, Sonic especially. Tails cares about both the people who make them, and he’s willing to fight for them. Seeing as how they’re twice his height and five times as powerful, his returned protectiveness of them is kind of pointless, but it’s very adorable.

-Although they’re very stable and in sync when they fuse, they usually split up after a while. This is mainly due to Sonic, because he really needs his personal space from time to time, and it’s pretty much impossible to have that when you’re literally sharing a body with somebody else.

-They don’t have a gender, because the technicalities of that are strange and much easier to just gloss over entirely.

-They have Amy’s tendency to get angry quickly and act without thinking, albeit with good intentions most of the time. They also kept her habit of pulling out the hammer in just about any situation where it has any chance of being useful (as well as her skill with it).

-When they’re in a good mood (which is most of the time because they’re stable and that keeps them happy), they’re a great friend, will help you with everything, are great fun, and embody positivity. When they’re angry, though, they will knock you into a volcano for looking at them the wrong way, will bring severe physical harm to anybody who annoys them, and rapidly lose stability.

-They say puns and one-liners and then hate their own jokes.

Fun fact about the process of creating them: I was going to give them four arms at first (like with Opal or Sardonyx, for example), but it was too hard to draw that. I’m so lazy in art lmao

Feel free to ask me questions! I’m actually pretty happy with how this random concept turned out looking, haha

[sheikah]

7.02 Thoughts

"Stormborn” exceeded my expectations in every way. There is so much I absolutely loved about this episode and I think that there was something incredibly moving in each storyline. I think my favorite thing about this episode is that it finally confirmed some things that I have been thinking and also arguing for quite some time! The rest is under the cut because those of you following me know brevity is not my strength haha.

Our first scene was intriguing to me from the very beginning. The sounds of the storm raging outside Dragonstone fit well with the episode title, “Stormborn.” I like that because it emphasizes how far Dany has come! She got that name from being born on Dragonstone during the worst storm in memory, and now she has returned to her birthplace at last.

It was interesting to me that she said it didn’t feel like home at all, that it wasn’t really her home. This lined up with aspects of Dany’s character I have been trying to show her detractors for a long time. Dany cares about taking the throne not because she is hungry for power but because she craves a home and a sense of belonging. 

I’ve been arguing for months that after the war, Dany might realize that the throne isn’t what she wants. That restoring her family’s good name and legacy and righting the wrongs of Westeros is enough for her. What she really wants is “the house with the red door,” a place where she can feel safe, secure, and rooted. And while she might have thought Dragonstone would be that place, it isn’t. I don’t think King’s Landing will be either. Because home to Dany will be family and security, something that has always eluded her and something that she will (I strongly believe) find in the long run with Jon. 

Anyway, moving on! Let’s talk more about the storm. I have seen anti Dany people arguing that the storm foreshadows a turbulent rule for her. I disagree. First and foremost I think the function of the storm is what I have just been talking about--a callback to Dany’s famous birth. She’s Stormborn and this is the birth and beginning of her conquest. But additionally the storm is meant to show the tension of her conversation with Varys. 

This is the one and only negative thing I have to say about the episode--this conflict was very poorly timed and strange to me. Varys has been working for Dany for months now, and while she was a Dothraki prisoner for most of that time, they spent an entire sea voyage together. Why is she choosing this moment to angrily confront him and doubt his loyalty and sincerity?

But we can’t judge Dany for not knowing what we, the audience know: that apparently Varys is a genuine and good man who truly does seek to serve the realm and the realm first. 

But aside from the timing I really enjoyed this exchange and think it was a necessary one. I am tired of seeing arguments that Dany is an evil, murderous tyrant when in reality she is a strong and righteous ruler. This scene confirmed that. When Varys told Dany bluntly that his loyalty only lasts as long as her goodness, she didn’t dismiss him from her service. She ASKED HIM TO CALL HER OUT WHEN SHE STEPS OUT OF LINE! You guys, this is huge! Dany is humble enough to admit that like any human, she can and will make mistakes, and she wants her advisers to be honest with her instead of tiptoeing around issues. Because she genuinely wants the same thing Varys wants--whatever is best for the people. 

Yes, she said she’d burn him if he betrayed her. Is that so bad? People who commit treason die in this society. That rule is by no means unique to Dany. 

So overall I really enjoyed this conversation and what it revealed to us about Dany as a queen in Westeros and Varys’s loyalty.  But my favorite part about the Dany scenes was actually Tyrion! Dany and Tyrion have become my favorite GoT brotp, sadly replacing Davos and Shireen (RIP sweet baby girl, you deserved better). Dany needs Tyrion. I am a crazy Dany fangirl but I’m humble enough to admit that. She’s still young and she needs him to talk her off the ledge when she gets a little too “fire and blood,” and I’m glad she has him. 

The scene in the meeting room when she defended him to Ellaria Sand was really rewarding and I loved how moved Tyrion was when she quoted him and said, “I am not here to be queen of the ashes.” He admires her so much and she is taking his teachings to heart. I love it. 

I also love Dany’s council!!! She has a council of mostly badass women including WOC, a bisexual pirate, and a grandma. Like everyone is represented hahaha it’s AMAZING. And even her men--all three of them have some sort of physical disability. It makes me happy to see so many different people represented in her inner circle. And the moment when she asked if they were with her and they all said yes was wonderful. I almost cried. 

When Dany hung back with Olenna I was surprised by the conversation. I am someone who read the plot leaks and they suggested that this conversation would feature Olenna trying to lure Dany off of the more peaceful and level-headed path Tyrion has set her on and instead try and make her go crazy and be more violent. To me the fact that the leaks interpreted it this way just shows how uncomfortable people still are with assertive women. Especially old, assertive women since Olenna was doing the talking. That talk was harmless and sweet and I loved how Olenna was taking Dany under her wing, telling her to be true to herself, and schooling her in how to play the Game. Because at the end of the day, what she said is true. It doesn’t matter if you’re loved. It didn’t matter that Margaery was. Toughness is just as important as love. 

Okay last part of Dany scenes. Melisandre meeting was really cool. The fact that “prince” is gender neutral is fantastic and huge, and I love that Missandei got to step in and say her piece. A friend pointed out (and it’s true) that this makes no sense because Dany is like a native speaker basically (I know she didn’t live in Valyria but she calls it her ‘mother tongue’) so she should have known this better than Missandei. Anyway, I like that now a theory I’ve been supporting for awhile is basically confirmed--Dany and Jon are both TPTWP. Or rather, Dany is Azor Ahai (having sacrifice Drogo and Rhaego to birth the dragons as Lightbringer) and Jon is TPTWP--and those two are not the same person. Melisandre told us they both have a part to play, and it would be fitting with the story so far for us to have multiple heroes of the Dawn, not just Jon. 

Which brings me to the most important moment of all: Dany already crushing on Jon Snow courtesy of the apparent new captain of this ship, Melisandre. Dany saying, “He sounds like quite a man,” is all of us. Let’s face it. I am so excited for them to meet. This is something I’ve wanted for YEARS. Y E A R S.

Oh and speaking of important meetings at Dragonstone, Grey Worm and Missandei were absolutely adorable. I loved it so much. Grey Worm’s declaration that he never feared anything until meeting her was so sweet and such a memorable line. And as far as GoT sex goes, I thought it was loving and tasteful and much better than what we had in earlier episodes between other characters. I am so happy for them :’)

So moving on to Jon. His scenes were great again this episode. We can now safely say that resurrected!Jon is a much more assertive man than he was before. This isn’t to say he was ever a coward. But I wouldn’t call Jon quiet anymore.

I am so happy that he has fond memories of Tyrion. Their friendship is one of my favorites and I love them both dearly so I am glad that he still trusts him, which we can see from his reaction to Tyrion’s summons. I also really liked that Davos basically told Jon that he has good reason to visit Dany. It’s good to hear one person in favor considering what happened next. 

I am annoyed but not surprised by the Northern lords being so opposed to Jon’s journey South. I really have to wonder what they think they could do against the WW on their own. I know that like Jon said, they haven’t seen the Army of the Dead for themselves. But the North’s forces are seriously depleted ever since the War of the Five Kings and the events thereafter. We know how small the Night’s Watch is, too. 

So they should know that they need all the help they can get, and they should be grateful that Jon is brave enough to ride South in a time of so much uncertainty and political turmoil. I didn’t like Sansa saying that Dany wants to take the Seven Kingdoms and the North is one as if that’s a problem. I don’t think she realized the irony of this statement. The North IS one. They only rebelled because of the Lannister/Stark conflict. Otherwise, the North would be just as much a part of the kingdoms as everyone else, and I don’t think that Northern independence needs to be a priority at a time like this. Northern independence wouldn’t matter if the person ruling the Seven Kingdoms was just, and I firmly believe that Dany will be. (But I also believe that if Sansa is still in charge when Dany comes to power, she will gladly GRANT Northern independence as she promised to do for the Iron Islands for Yara).

But I think overall Sansa has good decision-making and has grown a lot from her experiences. In other words, I think it’s a good idea Jon chose to place her in charge of Winterfell while he visits Dany. She will do a good job, though Littlefinger will do his best to make sure something goes wrong. That bitch. 

Speaking of, Jon choking him out will go down as one of my favorite moments in the history of this season haha it was AMAZING. And not to further reveal my weird Jon thirst but him being angry and rough is pretty much the hottest thing I’ve ever seen so. We are very lucky to have gotten this scene haha. 

Overall I’m happy that 1. Jon was able to sway the Northerners to a grudging agreement with his course of action and 2. He didn’t let them talk him out of going. Isolationism is a sure way to get them all killed. 3. Jon finally admitted what I’ve been saying all along. I have gotten into so many arguments where people claim that now that we know that Jon is a Targaryen, learning this will lead him to challenge Dany for the Iron Throne in season 8. We can now lay that argument to rest where it belongs. (Although while we’re on the subject, even if Jon didn’t confirm that he dislikes ruling, I’m pretty sure that won’t matter in the long run anyway since I am 99% sure he and Dany are getting married at some point).

Meanwhile, the most boring plot point to me was at King’s Landing this week. Cersei’s long speech of lies about Dany was a very “fake news” moment and I hated it. I do think it was interesting that Randyll Tarly, certified douche, tried to gain the moral high ground on Jaime about the Red Wedding. This is the man who threatened to murder his own son if he didn’t go to The Wall because he didn’t want him to be the heir to his house. I think it’s interesting that he and the Lannisters will have this alliance though. But as someone who has read the leaks I know how this all pans out so I won’t say more on the subject. 

Cersei and Qyburn with the dragon skulls PISSED ME OFF. This is such a messed up scene for so many reasons. First of all, that weapon is obviously scary considering what it might do to our dragon babies and I hate that. But the fact that they had a whole room of dragon skulls to test it on, and they chose to destroy the priceless relic that is the skull of the largest and most famous dragon in history, Balerion the Black Dread, is NOT OKAY. I was so angry and I think my friend drew an interesting parallel when he said it reminded him of Isis destroying priceless artifacts. Balerion is a huge part of Westerosi history as the dragon that Aegon used to conquer the Seven Kingdoms and unite them as one kingdom for the first time. He was so cool and Drogon is sort of like the next best thing, so I hate that possible foreshadowing that comes from destroying Balerion’s remains. 

After the Lannisters we got to see what Sam is up to and I have to say this week was much more intriguing than last. Sam has become a certified badass, from stealing Heartsbane, to basically having a woman live with him against the rules of not one but two patriarchal institutions, to PEELING A MAN WITH NO ANESTHETIC. This scene was so brutal and disgustingly gory. I was gagging. It was needed though because it showed us the depth of Jorah’s love for and devotion to Dany. That he would undergo this procedure for her instead of just putting himself out of his misery as--the arch maester not-so-subtly suggested he do--is admirable. Also, Sam’s face during the surgery was one of the funniest things I have ever seen and such great acting from John Bradley-West. INTENSITY! And of course, the cut from the close-up of Jorah’s pus-filled surgery to the creamy pot pie was nauseating and brilliant. Such great editing/directing. 

Speaking of pie, Arya reuniting with Hot Pie was absolutely adorable! I loved this scene so much. It was sweet when Hot Pie called her pretty because Arya is a girl who grew up being compared to Sansa and called ugly and “Arya Horseface” by pretty much everyone but her parents and Jon. So I like that he paid her this compliment :) It was a funny callback, too, when she said she’s made a pie or two herself--something Walder Frey was unlucky enough to sample :P

But the best part was the moment that Hot Pie told her that Jon and Sansa are still alive. Maisie Williams’ face in this scene was absolutely heartbreaking. Such real and believable shock. And about time, too! I think Arya needed some good news. We could see that she was broken and sad leading up to this scene. When she saw Hot Pie, who she hasn’t seen in years, she barely even reacted. She just said hi as if it was normal to run into him. So I think she needed a win, and finding out that her family, especially Jon, is still alive AND in Winterfell, was really satisfying to see. 

Of course the show gives and it takes, so right after this we got the wolf scene. I didn’t know what to make of it at first. But in retrospect I really like it. Seeing Nymeria of course was super emotional and I’ll freely admit I cried a lot when Arya asked her if she recognized her. I was just weepy thinking that finally my fave badass little murder weapon was getting her doggy back. It hurt bad when Nymeria turned from her and walked away. I was devastated. But then Arya brightened and her saying, “That’s not you,” is such a significant moment and I am so glad it was included for a few reasons. 

First one is the one D&D mentioned in the post-episode commentary. In season 1 Ned laid out this scenario for Arya of her growing up to marry well and be a proper lady and have babies. Arya said, “That’s not me.” So like Arya, Nymeria is too wild for this domestic life. This confirms something I’ve been speculating for a while--that whatever happens, the series probably won’t end with Arya happily settling down in Winterfell with her family. I think she’s going to be an adventurer for life. Like her wolf, she’s a leader, not a follower. 

But I also like this scene because I feel like it tells us that “that’s not you” also applies to the argument I keep seeing that Arya has become cold, heartless, or “too far gone” since her training as a Faceless Man. Some people were saying after she killed the Freys that she was dark!Arya now and possibly irredeemable. But I think the Lannister soldier/Ed Sheeran scene + this one showed us that Arya is still fully aware of and in control of her identity and that she’s just as much the Arya Stark we’ve always known and loved. 

This brings us to the Greyjoys and the Sand Snakes on their ship. At first this scene was frustrating to me. I’ve never liked Ellaria and her taunting Theon was really irking me. I think Theon has suffered more than enough and I really like him. I feel horrible for what he’s been through and just want him to be happy and well-adjusted. The punishment he’s received has far exceeded his crimes in my opinion. But I think this episode showed us that Theon will never really stop being Reek.

The romance that was about to start between Yara and Ellaria is cute I guess. I did laugh a lot when Ellaria started feeling Yara up and Yara just looked over at Theon and gave this massive shrug like, “I can’t help it that I’m irresistible, fam.”

But I’m glad it got interrupted because Yara can do better. I think she has more honor than someone like Ellaria.

But the Sand Snakes definitely got some karma for what they did to Myrcella and Trystane. WOW was the battle scene crazy. It was everything I wanted action-wise and the choice to do it at night with the flames just made it terrifying and so cool to watch.

Euron is every bit the deranged killer I was hoping to see and his ship, is SO BADASS OMG. I hated what he was doing but loved watching him do it?!????!

It does suck that two of the Sand Snakes are already dead because I was hoping their story would get better and now it can’t. But honestly they always bored me on screen so I guess at least that won’t happen anymore. Their plot was by far the worst adaptation the show has done yet. 

The fighting during the sea battle was brutal and jarring and the Theon scene was absolutely heart-wrenching. I cried again when Euron had Yara. Because 1. I love Yara more than I can even describe. She is my sexy, badass, patriarchy-smashing pirate goddess. But 2. It really hurt to see Theon so conflicted. I know he wanted to save her but he is clearly suffering from PTSD from his time with Ramsay. 

He was looking around at Euron’s men literally cutting parts off of and out of the defeated soldiers in what was grisly, screaming torture. He was triggered and reminded of being flayed by Ramsay, I’m sure. So I was surprised to see him jump ship (literally) but not angry with him. I totally understand why it happened. But it didn’t make it hurt any less to see that one, lone tear roll down Yara’s face as she realized he wasn’t going to help her, that she was doomed. And seeing Theon floating in the water churning in his own failure was awful.

Overall it was a horrible blow for the Greyjoys and for Dany’s forces in general and I am interested to see how she is going to try and manage damage control.

Lastly, the promo for next week!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe we are FINALLY getting Jon and Dany meeting after all this time. I just. I can’t believe it. And that one brief shot of Jon looking at her on the throne . . . You guys, he’s in awe. Seriously I couldn’t ask for more in terms of his very intrigued reaction when he laid eyes on her for the first time. 

Also, as I mentioned earlier, we have the most outspoken and self-assured Jon we’ve ever seen and a Dany who has finally reclaimed her birthplace. They are both at their prime and they get to meet each other that way and I CANNOT WAIT FOR IT. You could see how much Dany’s interest was piqued when Mel described Jon liberating the wildlings the way she liberated slaves, when Tyrion told her about Jon’s family being butchered by the Lannisters the way hers was by the Lannisters and Baratheons. 

The romance I have been waiting the better part of a decade for is about to happen and I am so blessed :’)

Anyway, as a whole I loved this episode so much, better than last week. And I think it’s only going to get better from here!

If you actually read all of this thanks haha sorry for the EXTRA! LONG! POST! What did you guys think of the episode? :)

[pilawforhire-archived]

"...A date, then?"

[ sms ] Yes. I’ll pick you 1930.

It was a formal business dinner function in one of the most upscale hotels in the country, and although it had been rather last minute, he had managed to obtain an invite, albeit through unlawful means. Since he needed a plus one to blend in, and to fake attempts at being social and amiable, after some consideration, in which he asked himself, who would hate being there as much as he, Law settled on Shikamaru as his ‘date’ for the night—and he wouldn’t have taken no for an answer. He had based his decision on two key factors: a) Shikamaru would suffer as much as he would by being there, and b) Shikamaru wouldn’t piss him off at the same time. Their cover was as potential business partners who were looking to invest in new companies.

It didn’t matter what Shikamaru thought of the ‘date’—it would have been even more entertaining if the contractor had different thoughts about Law’s intentions. Either way, he wasn’t going to give Shikamaru any finer details, unless it was asked of him. There was, however, to be a lot of mingling with the crowd, while he kept an eye on his target. A buffet spread, music, dancing…the dinner party was already sounding like a huge inconvenience.

Who asks for it:

[x] Your muse asks mine

[x] My muse asks yours [ A case? A favor? Tips or intel? Who knows for sure? ]((Definitely, only when he needs Shikamaru’s help or expertise. Or when he wants to kill him, frame him.. [I guess I understand Shikamaru’s paranoia now.] Unless it’s impromptu…a ’stuck in the wrong place together at the wrong time’ kind of situation. Fast forward two years later, if they’re both still alive and on a…’friendly’ as ‘friendly’ can get basis, hey, why not! A date is a date without any ulterior motives except the want for company!!! Or a place to crash while on the run from bad company.))

Type of date:

[x] [‘You want an actual rematch?’ Date] “I don’t know what you mean by ‘actual’, but if you think I’m going to concede to defeat before having tried a hundred times, you’ve got another thing coming, Nara.”

[x] [‘Whose bike goes faster, I know a scenic route’ Date] YES. Cruising through scenic / deserted routes would be cool. “Yours might be bigger, but size isn’t everything.”

[x] [‘There’s an Arms Trade Expo I’m infiltrating and I need a Plus One….’ Date] So is this! “…only if you’re paying for my purchases.”

[x] ‘Things always have a funny way of spiraling out of control when I’m with you’ Date — mishaps involving ending up in the A&E, chased down by wild dogs/animals, on the run from the police, waking up with no knowledge of where they are or what happened just before, ending up as volunteers for some freak circus show/magic show, locked in a room with a bomb, stuck in the elevator, stealing a cop car, stealing a fire truck……. “…how did this happen? I thought I was cursed, but I think this time it’s you who’s bringing about all the bad luck.”

[x] ‘Let’s see how long the peace can last’ Date “Place your bets. I’m giving it an hour, tops.”

[x] A normal, platonic(?) date in your alt!verse, probably a coffee date, which stays pretty chill and all, after having visited the cafe, where Shikamaru works, on a daily basis for a while because they play pretty good music and serve gluten-free snacks, and it’s not overcrowded, the decor is pleasing

Location for the date:

[ ] Movies• [ ] Romantic Comedy• [ ] Adventure Movie• [ ] Animation (Pixar/Disney)• [ ] Horror• [ ] Drama• [ ] Buddy Movie• [ ] ___ (other options)

[x] Restaurant / Clubs / Bars ((mostly for info gathering, I’d presume?))• [x] Expensive/High Class [ I want to see this happen only because it’d be great to have them undercover and eating fancy ] –> ((absolutely..!))• [x] Small and familiar ((after the Jaffal case though…nowhere is safe. probably somewhere with a crowd could be less dangerous. i don’t think they ought to eat at the same place twice.))• [x] Fast Food ((sucks, but can’t be helped, I guess))

[x] Nature ((anywhere in nature would be cool, but I guess they wouldn’t go anywhere like that if it weren’t for a job. then again, what job would take one up to the mountains or to a cottage by the lake, or anywhere scenic? I suppose if they’re both free, somewhere down the road, this could happen, hopefully before they turn 90 and aren’t able to walk well anymore. can’t appreciate nature if you can’t walk on your own two feet—can’t appreciate it as much.))• [x] Beach [ Okay but imagine them running intel in the summer ] –> ((and having to act normal on the beach? being surrounded by the sweltering heat and children screaming and running about. Shikamaru catching beach balls with his head. watching people be happy all around them. getting sand everywhere..))• [x] Park ((tailing someone, attempting to abduct someone, playing Shogi in the park….?))• [x] Forest ((burying dead bodies that need to be hidden, excavating dead bodies that were hidden, following a trail of clues, lost in the forest because…reasons/bad luck, camping to watch/surveil a house in the woods, just taking a jog))   • [x] …and having a picnic

[ ] Visiting a Museum/Galleries/Aquariums/Zoos/Planetariums ((yes to all of these below tbh. wherever the job takes them))

[ ] Visiting an amusement park ((maybe not this…although it’s easy to kidnap people from crowded places))

[ ] Visiting a haunted location ((abandoned places would be cool to discover and explore. abandoned ruins…hospitals, etc.))

[x] Staying at home• [x] Chilling with music• [x] Playing Shogi• [x] Reading

[x] Casinos are great!! ((I think they could make a good deal of money from this.))

[x] Lmao I like the stuck in the hospital idea although they probably can’t do much there

[x] Also, stuck on an island far out with no means of leaving, with several others invited and a murderer on the lose ala ‘And then there were none’ style

[x] Some festival(s)

[x] Just having a drink, somewhere quiet. roof of a deserted building, in a quiet park, past midnight, if they can’t sleep – i think they’d only get the chance to talk then.

[x] Some vacation island, invited to a party, to kill someone there or to find someone. Someone dies. A battle royale between others of similar careers. I’m just rambling now, haha, sorry.

The date might hopefully end with…

[ ] …holding hands [ This would throw Shika off his game, unless that was the intention ] –> ((definitely to throw him off balance. otherwise, it’d only happen if someone falls off the roof, or some high ledge/off a boat/train, and the other saves him on a whim.))

[ ] …a kiss [ ‘Oh look a distraction’ ] –> ((too obvious? well shit. but it worked, didn’t it?))

[ ] …in bed [ without the risk of the other dying? It’s a tricky situation ] –> ((being in each other’s company is a risk on its own. but yeah, too risky. both would only be pretending to be asleep. ‘I promise not to kill you if you’ll give me all the blankets.’))

[x] …knowing each other better ((I’m sure they would have dug up info on each other. Whatever there is to find, at least. I guess this would take a long while, otherwise.))

[x] …trusting each other more would be great! ((it might take amnesia for this to happen though. I guess in their nature of work, trust is easily broken as well. can you imagine, if 2 years later, somehow they’re still alive and keeping in touch, and Law shows up at Shikamaru’s doorstep for no reason, I bet, even if they have established some trust, the first thing to go to Shikamaru’s head might be, ‘Is he here to kill me (again)?’ Similarly, every time they hear from each other, or meet, alarm bells are ringing somewhere, no matter how much trust has been established. I don’t know, though. It could work out.

It would be interesting to see how they could break through that. It might be tough, since both are wary by nature, and the job makes things worse. Unless, it comes to the point where they reach a mutual understanding of— Hey, we can be ‘friends’(?) or buddies, acquaintances. I respect that you do your job well, and I do mine well. However, SO THAT WE BOTH DON’T GO BALD BEFORE 30, if ever we get a job to target the other, we’ll be 100% honest and upfront about it. When that happens, no grudges are to be held. What’s fair is fair. When that happens that one of us is to target the other, we’ll approach the situation like mature adults and professionals. Basically, whoever manages to outmatch and kill the other, “wins”. Until then, let’s drop all this hostility and tip-toeing around each other, having to be so suspicious all the time because that gets tiring.

But I don’t know if that could work! I think they could certainly reach a point one day, one fine day, where they have that mutual understanding and trust. That if there’s a hit ordered on the other, no sneaky biz. Be upfront about it. It’s even more fun that way if both parties know. Because, then, the mind games get more challenging?

This reminds me of Mr & Mrs Smith for some reason))

[ ] …a marriage proposal

[ ] ___ (other options)

With no trouble, annoying clients, or outliers that could otherwise bother their company, how would conversation unfold between them? At what starting point would they begin to talk about themselves? For men married to their work, engrossed with their own inner demons and routines, what would it mean to get involved? It could start with building trust, a simple idea untarnished by bullets, blood, or double cross.  And even then, whose mind holds more mazes? Will it matter?

I think it would take a long while before they opened up to each other about themselves. In the first place, both would have to be receptive to allowing the trust to build. If they close themselves off and bury themselves in work and their daily routines, being similar in that sense, it’s hard to crack through anything. They could likely make it ten years as business contacts without getting to know the other well at all. Will it matter? It would be nice to find the thing that gets them to connect on a more personal level. I would like for them to be able to talk about themselves or their pasts, but I feel like that may not be something they would share with each other. Neither would feel open to sharing, because that would be taken as a sign of weakness. Even if their pasts are similar, I suppose sharing about it would do nothing useful for the present or future, so neither would talk about it in that sense. However, if they found out by some other method, they could end up discussing it in brief.

Talking about present matters…neither would comment on their feelings or their inner demons. The only way either of them would see any glimpse of the other’s would be if somehow, something bad enough happens that they break down. Even then, that would be hard to stumble upon. I don’t think it takes words to understand each other? Maybe after a long while of ‘working’(?) together.

To be honest, this is hard! Thinking about what they would talk about. I would say…nothing really, other than comments about their cases, spur of the moment quips thrown here and there… But I do think it starts with trust, and then being able to relax in each other’s company.

Alternatively, here’s what I think could help them break past the being unable to trust each other part. If they both saw each other in a moment of weakness (in which some emotion from within seeps through the cracks of their masks), I think it could be easier to build that trust. Maybe. Haha. Sorry, this was long.

[words-for-glory]

Sleepless Nights

It’s 12.30 am and you can’t sleep. You’ve been tossing and turning in bed for almost 3 hours without being able to relax. Too many thoughts and feelings are going round and round in your head and your bed feels so big and cold. For the past few years, nights like this one seemed to become more and more frequent and you hated it. Those nights you just wanted to turn your mind off so that your head and body could relax enough to finally fall asleep. This particular night was worse than most though, you feel like the world was crashing down on you and you’re struggling to breathe. Your heart is racing and you have this huge pit in your stomach that just will not go away. You sigh and turn on your lamp; sleep won’t come any time soon anyway. You miss him. When the anxiety gets too much, your boyfriend Dan is the one who usually manages to calm you down, but now he’s away on tour on the opposite side of the world. Your whole life you’ve considered yourself an independent woman and always hated the thought of being dependent on another person, so the thought of needing someone that much scares you. However, Dan has showed you time and time again how he’s always there for you. So slowly but surely over the past years you’ve let him all the way in and you realize that you need him in your life. You would never say it to him, but the months he’s away on tour always takes a big toll on you. Thinking about Dan makes the pit in your stomach grow even bigger and your eyes are close to overflow with tears. You’re wearing one of his old Twin Peaks t-shirt and you’re inhaling his scent to try to relax yourself. *brrr brrr* Your phone vibrates on your beside table and for a second you can’t be bothered to look but when you finally do you see a text from Dan: “Hey, are you awake?” “Yeah can’t sleep…” You start typing out another message, asking him about his day or anything to distract you from your anxious thoughts, when his face pops up on your screen and the ringtone goes off eerily high in the quiet night. “Hey babe, I didn’t wake you did I?” he greets you. You notice he sounds tired. “No no it’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway,” you sigh. “I’m so happy to hear your voice.” “Anxiety?” he asks. “Yeah I guess. Just a million and one thoughts going round in my head and I just wish I could turn it off you know? And the bed feels so big and cold and lonely without you here” you say and your voice breaks on the last word. You miss him so much and while hearing his voice calms you down it also makes you miss him more. “I’m sorry I’m not there for you. Ugh I wish I could give you a hug. Is there anything I can do?” “You’re doing it,” you say in between your sobs. “If you have time, please just talk to me for a while. I don’t want to be alone.” “Love, I’m so sorry I’m not there for you right now. I hate myself for leaving you alone so much, especially when you’re not doing well. I feel so helpless.” You take a few deep breaths to try to steady your voice. This is the problem with Dan; he is such an emotional person and you knew telling him about your anxiety would lead to him beating himself up over it. “No it’s alright. Just hearing your voice helps so don’t beat yourself up. So tell me something fun! How’s the gigs been? Have you seen any cool things?” “The American crowds are so wicked! They’re so loud and all of them know every single word to the songs, it’s so cool. You know we like those loud, screaming crowds. Although sometimes after the shows when people want to see us I have to admit it gets a bit too much.” “Hey, they just love you a lot, you can’t blame them for that. I totally see where they’re coming from” you say with a faint smile. “Haha yeah right” Dan replies with a chuckle. “Anyway so the shows have been cool and we’re currently on the bus somewhere… ugh hang on,” Dan says and you can hear him talk to someone. “According to Kyle we’re somewhere in the desert in Nevada right now. Next show is in Vegas” “Oh Vegas huh? Don’t do anything stupid." “Love, you know me. I would never get drunk and do anything stupid in Vegas, I don’t know what you’re on about” Dan says with that rumbling laugh you love so much. “Ha, right I do know you, that’s why I said it. No but seriously have fun but be safe okay? Oh and say hi to Kyle from me” “Kyle, (y/n) says hi!” You hear him shout. “He says hi back. So what have you been up to this week? I feel like I haven’t talked you in ages” He was right. You have been texting pretty much every day but because of time zones and busy schedules you hadn’t had time to really talk for over a week. “Uni and work is keeping me busy. Nothing really exciting you know. My life isn’t as fun as yours” You say with a laugh. “You know what? Sometimes I envy you and your life. As much as I enjoy this, sometimes I wish I was back in uni, going to gigs and struggling to meet deadlines.” “Yeah I guess I can understand that. Actually, I do enjoy it. Lately I’ve just been feeling really stressed and anxious. I guess there’s just a lot going on, with exam season coming up and everything.” “I know you’re ambitious but you have to take care of yourself too. Try to find time to relax and have fun.” “I could say the same to you actually” You know how hard touring usually is for him and the fact that you could hear the exhaustion in his voice worries you. ”I know how exhausting touring is and I need you to relax too okay?” “Okay deal. Let’s both relax and take care of ourselves, alright?” You look at the clock. It’s 1 am and you’ve been talking for almost 20 minutes. The thought of waking up at 6 am tomorrow morning and go to work makes your heart rate pick up again. Without noticing, you have calmed down a lot while talking to Dan but now the anxiety hit you again. “I have to wake up in 5 hours and then I have a long day with work and uni and I’m going to be so tired and I’ll be irritable and grumpy and I’ll probably fall asleep in my lecture and then I’ll fail the fucking exam,” You ramble on, the anxiety making your head spin and the catastrophic thoughts cloud your mind. “Hey hey, calm down. You can function a day without much sleep, I promise you. It’s okay. Take some deep breaths with me.” You breathe in and out in his calm rhythm. “Listen to me. I know your mind and body tries to tell you otherwise but I promise you are okay and everything will be fine. You’ll get through tomorrow just fine and you’ll ace that exam of yours. Don’t worry.” His kind voice made you tear up again, oh how you wished he was here with you. “I guess you’re right” “No I am right. Everything will be okay. Take a few breaths and tell yourself that” “Okay. You know I love you so much right?” “I know and I love you too. I wish I could be with you right now." “Just a couple more weeks” You sigh, trying to sound brave, but your heart breaks at the thought of not being able to hug him for another two weeks. “Just a couple weeks then I’ll be back with you,” He reassures you. “Can you tell me a story? Your voice makes me feel safe” “Uh yeah sure. Well the other day we…..” As Dan rambles on about some cool museum they visited last week, you can feel your eyelids getting heavier. His voice always has this calming effect on you and for a second you feel so grateful that you get to call this man your boyfriend. The next thing you know is your alarm going off at 6 a.m. and startling you awake. Apparently you fell asleep after all. You find your phone in your bed and shut off the annoying alarm. There’s a text from Dan: “Good morning! Apparently my story wasn’t that interesting since you fell asleep five minutes into it.. Just kidding. I’m glad you calmed down and fell asleep. I hope your day goes well and text me when you’re back home tonight to let me know. Love you” You still have pit in your stomach and you feel exhausted but as you read the text and smile through the tiredness you think to yourself that today might be okay after all. ------anonymous------

[bunnieface]

Check in!!!

Seeing how it’s break and all, I’ve got another quarter down in the books (YEET) and I only have a few months until I move to Spain(!!!!!) I thought I’d do a lil self-reflection, self check-in and just a regular lil entry in my online journalito. 

Mental Health: wow oh  my GoD I’m feeling the best I have in quite a long while!!!!! I’m quite comfortable/happy/content/satisfied with all that’s going on in my mental health. Considering it was just the wintertime, where SAD gets me (baaadly), I can absolutely say that this is the first winter probably since I was in middle school where I wasn’t suicidal or self-harmed. I haven’t really given myself the credit I deserve for this but!!! Ya bitch DID IT!!! I haven’t really felt the need to drink, smoke, or force myself into things I didn’t really want to do. Not only that, but I’ve started to kind of like who I am, actually?? I’m kind of realizing that I’m kind of a cool person(wow??). I still struggle with liking the face that looks back at me in the mirror, but like got damn!! My music taste??? A little off the beaten path, but FLEEKY. The fact that I’m a person of like, substance? Also pretty sick. The excess, wild, crazy energy that I have used to embarrass me. It makes me clumsy, I think it may come off as annoying, and I felt like I had to suppress it with everything that I had. But I’m kind of realizing that my insane, morning-centric, positive energy is a really great thing about me. Maybe it’s not for everybody. Nobody can be for everybody. But to be honest, I’ve had enough of the “too chill for literally everything” and negative vibes that are so much easier to grab onto. I like being turbo!! I like seeing the good in everything!!! I shouldn’t SEEK OUT the negative in something so that I feel like I fit in better. My ADHD is a really awesome part of me. I am learning to forgive myself for the social blunders I’ve made, and even though I still get that near-OCD rumination track on loop in my head, I’m learning to just say “okay, you’re back. How are we going to stop you?” To sum up my mental health, I’m giving myself a solid A in improvement for this quarter (and I guess the school year). (also, stop worrying about the lil weight u put on. You’ll lose it. cálmate.)

Academics/Spanish: yeet, yeet, yeet, and one more for the back: YEET. To be honest, grade-wise I didn’t end up pulling an A like I meant to in my grammar class. It’s okay tho. At the last minute I got lazy with the studying and could only focus on soccer (haha) so I only managed to get a B+ (which is verrrrry annoying considering almost everything else I did this quarter was A level work but whatevs). While I didn’t get exactly the grade I wanted in my grammar class, (my other class was P/F and my 314 I pulled an A) I feel like I improved my spanish SO MUCH. I feel actually functional now. All of my classes were taught in Spanish, and my conversation class forced me to speak in Spanish (which I didn’t really take advantage of as much as I should have, thanks to anxiety). One of the two parties I went to this quarter had quite a few Spanish speakers and I realized that after a drink or two, I’m REALLY good at Spanish! Compliments all over the place, full-ass conversations, people surprised and impressed with the fact I’ve only been learning for a year and a half, etc etc. The thing is though, it wasn’t just the compliments. I felt myself speaking well. I was understanding everything almost as if it was in English, and I was responding without thinking. (Later on, once I realized I was doing really well, I realized that I started getting self-conscious and speaking less and more slowly) SO I really gotta let go of that fear, it’s holding me back SO MUCH. But still. Slammin’ improvement. Not to mention, I can watch Club de Cuervos with only the Spanish subtitles now. I’m understanding basically everything that’s happening with the exception of some of the really colloquial stuff (I’ll pick up on it!!!). And I can watch YouTube videos in Spanish with mostly no problems depending on their accent. Mexican accents are SO MUCH EASIER to understand haha.

Friend/social life: I’ve calmed down. I’ve calmed down so much. Oh my god. I’m not anxious at neearly the same levels. I feel like I’m making connections and friends in a really healthy way and connecting with them very genuinely because I’m much less afraid to be myself. I don’t care if we’re best best buds, or whatever. I’m just happy to be around them when I’m around them and content when I’m not. I don’t really care about partying or drinking anymore. I’m pretty much done with it, except for the occasional outing. (occasional as in TWICE over the quarter), and every time that I have drank, I’ve had such a good time! No tears, no sadness, no crippling anxiety. I don’t ever want to throw all the blame on someone other than myself, and not that I’m blaming them, but god I am so so so happy that I left my old friend group. I haven’t regretted it at all, really. Nor have I regretted stepping down as BSU President. I have grown so much mentally, academically, and emotionally, since I cut ties. It’s not their fault. I was just genuinely uncomfortable to be myself around them. I didn’t feel loved or appreciated, and I don’t really think I was. But I was more than accepting of it because I didn’t think that I deserved it. I ended up chasing acceptance and love from people that didn’t really care about me. In turn, I injured a really important, caring friendship. (although that friendship definitely had its dysfunctional levels). I know there’s a lot of mental health illness in that group, and I really hope they are able to find peace and confidence soon if they haven’t already. Work stresses me out a bit. I think some people (including a bit of the adult leadership.. cough cough) are trifling and I want to avoid them because they seem like more trouble and more into drama than what its worth. But it’s fine. I hope I can catch a Seattle summer job (PIKE) and not work there over the summer.

I, Sarah: well, well, well. Sarah as a unit. Just the me. Lil ol me. I. AM. PROUD. OF. YOu. You’re doing amazing, sweetie!!!! I have the confidence to start learning things just to learn them! To do something just for the sake of doing it, and not for being the best! I’m loving soccer (thanks Club de Cuervos), and I love having the friends that want to make it all possible! I actually want to have an intramural team going, I know we’ll probably lose every game, but I don’t care because I just want to play! Team sports were a literal nightmare for me with my social anxiety, but I actually WANT to do it. I WANT to get out there and play and meet new people. I’m not scared of looking like a damn fool on the field. PUT ME IN COACH! On another note, I am so so so SO much more comfortable with my identity. I am bisexual, and I’m FINALLY accepting of it!! I’m even telling a select few people. I feel like a weight that’s been pressing me down for years has just been lifted. I’ll make a separate post about it. I have SO much I want to say. 

In all, I have a really solid foundation going for me and I’m so happy to be where I am. It’s almost weird, because I never really thought this level of stability was going to be possible for me. Being diagnosed with depression/anxiety in the fifth grade, growing up in an abusive household, and having to get over traumas both from my past and more recent present left me feeling like I was going to be a broken disaster for my whole life. Not really. I’m sure I’ll dip and struggle at times. But I made it through the darkest part of the year for me with barely a scratch. I feel like I can take on the world!!