#but then you see a robot and attach to their asexuality

[greetings-inferiors]

This episode on “Randy tries not to headcanon his favourite characters as his own orientation”:

Failure.

[unnamed-proxy]

HAHA here it is! The Berry dca head-cannon masterlist!

Looong post ahead beware.

Sun:

-They can actually draw really, really well but is limited by the fact they can only use crayons, if provided with the right materials their art style would be very watercolor dominant and look like something out of a classic children’s book. (Think the ‘promotional artwork/merchandise’ from welcome home or the in-game art of rain-world)

-Gender-fluid but often male presenting

-Asexual, even if they had lips they would not enjoy kissing or anything stronger than that, however they do adore hugs and cuddling!

-They find it a lot easier to express louder emotions, anger, happiness, annoyance, excitement, etc. they’re an ugly cryer as well.

-Due to their lack of facial movement, they’ve adopted a constant flow of physical expression/movement, even when they’re going to sleep they’re still moving! Usually including (but not limited to) swaying from side to side, fidgeting with their hands, or in-place dancing like they do in game!

-They have very intense anxiety, but they were good at covering it up until Moon got the virus, becoming inconsolable whenever things got to their head afterwards.

-Adding onto that last one, they’re an overthinker.

-They have a love for makeup and sometimes hang out with Chica to play around with face paint. They’re the reason they and Moon have the starry eyeliner I give them in drawings.

-They keep a Moon plushie in their ‘room’ that they’d project him onto while in control, and they never sleep without it. (Even with the virus)

-They’re a huge theater nerd, being a particularly big fan of Hamilton and the Jekyll and Hyde musical +basically anything Disney, though they don’t get to quote/see those as often. (Their fav is a tie between Princess And The Frog and Tangled)

-They get VERY jealous very easily.

-When they’re having a bad day and Moon isn’t available they usually have a gossip party with Roxy and chica where they bitch about the incompetency of the workers or a particularly bad Karen over imaginary tea.

-Continuing from the last one, Sun also enjoys doing Roxanne’s hair when she lets them.

-Their eyes were white while having the virus since they scratched the paint off clawing at their face whenever Moon took control (or tried to).

-They love the children’s drawings and are very quick to praise them! Adults on the other hand are when they get sassy, ‘if a robot programmed to act like a child on all levels but intelligence can drawn better than you then you don’t deserve any respect anyway’ type mindset.

-If you’re over the age of 13 it’ll be a lot harder to get on their good side, but usually if you’re nice to them they’re nice to you. Unless you’re staff, they’d explode any and all staff members with their mind if they were capable of it.

-Favorite color is green.

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Moon:

-Goes by he/him, it/its, and they/them on occasion

-Hat functions as a tail/third arm. Its rim is attached to his head by a Velcro like material or a magnet once placed on.

-The nightcap is stored inside his stomach hatch, which is shot out by the second button on his chest.

-The upper/first button on his chest activates a musical function, the music is generated through a music box attached to the throat of his endoskeleton. Sun can use it to, but they can’t pick the song like Moon can.

-It was the one who confessed first (See)

-Moon was originally a generic fruity Disney villain character in the theater and would act out on its emotions through a theatrical, more cruel lens than they were at heart. Though he underwent massive restrictions being added to his code alongside heavy reprogramming when being relocated to the daycare.

-He is demisexual and/or Asexual, he is open to kissing but nothing more intimate than that. Otherwise, he has the same boundaries as Sun.

-Moon acts like a cat in as many ways as you can think of. Enjoying the sensation of petting/rubbing or scratching on his head, purring when happy, hissing and growling when angry or threatened, and his nightcap flicks and sways near constantly when he moves, straightening and shooting upwards when he’s annoyed and doing said hissing, and curling around his torso when he’s afraid.

-He’s also just as physically expressive as Sun! Though in different ways. Constantly shifting from foot to foot, bouncing on his feet (as shown in game), tilting his head to express what his eyes can’t, and fidgeting with his fingers like Sun. Moon is also no stranger to stimming, though he tries not to around anyone besides Sun.

-He is autistic.

-If he had a functioning mouth, its go-to stim would be chewing and biting, Sun would have no issue with this and sometimes offer to be the subject of it instead of himself.

-He has anger issues as a result of his past programming, though has long since found techniques to calm himself down for the sake of Sun, pre-virus anyway.

-Moon is a huge victim of masking, most of the inhabitants of the plex still believe him to be a maniacal monster because of this.

-He desperately wishes to go outside and see the world, hanging out infront of the glass doors of the ‘Plex’s entrance after hours to look at the stars and occasionally asking Sun to paint what they think it looks like out there.

-He keeps children’s drawings and various nicknacks inside his hat. Magnets, plushies, shirts, paint sets, severed animatronic heads, you name it and it’s probably hoarding it in there.

-He’s extremely self-conscious and overcompensates to either get people to stay with or away from him.

-He’s a wonderful singer and enjoys doing duets with Sun in his spare time!

-It sleeps with a Sun plushie and often keeps it with him in his hat at all times.

-During the virus, Moon and Vanny were besties and were near constantly in communication. He looked up to her quite a lot.

-He is very much aware of their actions during the Vanny virus and sees them as proof that he’s a horrible person.

-Moon is the reason the daycare was closed down, being responsible for a child going missing 3 different times times with the help of Vanny, until being fully taken over by the virus. (While under the virus’s effects Sun did not shy away from holding this against them.)

-He loves Sun dearly, though is extremely envious of them, he would never admit it though.

-Favorite color is purple

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General/both:

-GR!Foxy was Sun & Moons best friend and trusted them with her life, as did they with theirs. This persists through their relationship with Roxy though they’ve gotten significantly more distant since she became part of the band

-Their theater backstory is Sun being a rouge court-jester that joined Foxy after he visited their kingdom. They were then cursed to have their deepest, darkest thoughts and desires manifest in the form of Moon.

-Adding onto previous, Moon is the in-universe reason for Foxy missing a hand.

-The skirt was a gift from Sun! It wasn’t/isn’t a part of their original costume and they both wear it as a symbol of their love, which is why it doesn’t change during their transformation.

-Moon and Sun were the patient zero of the Vanny virus, both being different prototypes. Sun was given a version where it heightened the flaws of the animatronics programming and personality, I.e their anxiety and jealousy. While Moon was given a removal of rules and restrictions, affectively turning the infected into a wild animal or a zombie. Both types were installed 3 months before the rest of the cast and both were modified/reworked due to being ineffective, the first being too unpredictable and generally useless while the second made the victim too tough to control. Though they were basically considered failures and Vanny never bothered to put the updated version into their systems, deciding it wouldn’t be too important

-They’re a tag team! If one doesn’t feel like they could deal with a specific person they’ll send the other one out to defend them (‘Soooo bad, I should turn off the lights myself.’), or they’ll just feed the one in control insults from the head-space. Sun specializes in more personal, action based insults that cut deep while Moon makes judgments on character and rapid fires.

-Moon wants to be friends with Vanessa again, Sun does not. She avoids both of them.

-Freddy sees both of them as a singular identity and is, put simply, a massive jerk to them, but he has a particular sore spot for Moon.

-The broken staff bots in their room were taken from multiple different places, Moon would sometimes clean up after Monty so he wouldn’t be caught or they’d find an already malfunctioning one and put it out of its misery. They’d then take it back and try to learn how to repair them so they don’t have to rely on parts and services anymore to sustain themselves.

-They’re both really into playing pretend and crossdressing!

-Eclipse goes by they/them and is omnisexual & polyamorous

-Eclipse doesn’t have a favorite color, if you asked they’d just answer with ‘rainbow’ or ‘I can’t decide!’

-Eclipse was a backup ai in-case Moon went rogue that failed to activate. Sun commandeered it into a way for them to both be in sync again post-Ruin as they were extremely basic and non-sentient.

-Balloon world Eclipse is what Vanny would use to infect the boys and communicate with Moon.

-Even if they were put in separate bodies they wouldn’t leave each other alone, Moon would latch onto Sun’s neck and let them drag him along while they do their job and whisper little comments to make them laugh into their ear just like they used to in their headspace, Sun would follow him around during naptime and try to keep contact, usually holding hands or, on bad days, riding on his shoulders.

-adding onto the above, if they were upset at each other they still wouldn’t be more than a room away and make sure the other is in view at all times. DO. NOT. SEPARATE, no matter how bad the argument is, there is nothing worse to them than being alone with their own head.

Aaaand that is all! TYSM for reading <3

[see--sea]

Hey guys, welcome back to my YouTube channel. Today, we’re gonna have another yap session about one of my characters, let’s get straight into it.

This right here is the ‘villain’ in the story I have congregated in my little noodle

Her name is Oliver (Ollie) and uses She/They pronouns. Shes also Asexual and Panromantic.

{insert background bellow}

Oliver is a mechanic engineer gone crazy. She was what you would consider a normal person through school and up to college, but she had a really bad break up with her partner cheating on her, cause her to run away and go into hiding (Cue villain arch).

While in hiding, they would build robots to accompany and work for her so she didn’t, you know, die. while doing that, she ended up making her a mechanical suit of her own to help her get around, as she was becoming very old and frail.

The suit takes has wheels attached to the feet, It has a tail for balance, and it has a mask to give he a disguise.

So yeah, I think that’s about all! I do plan on talking about this series and its characters more because I’m in LOVE with it atm and have a strong desire to expand it more.

If you have any questions let me know and until next time I post, see ya ❤️

[kyanitedragon]

[ID: Teen Wolf screenshots featuring Stiles, with screenshots of aspec-themed tumblr posts edited onto them.

Scott talking to Stiles in the school hallway as Stiles stares into space, looking annoyed and tired. The tumblr post is from Lil-Aro and reads "If you're ever doubting your aromanticism, have a conversation with a alloromantic for like 5 minutes and you'll be good."

Stiles anxiously sucking on his lip as his dialouge says "How come when we graduate, we're just expected to go our separate ways? Why aren't I not trying to stay with them, you know?" The tumblr post is from AroKaladin and reads "Allos: aros have like no feelings. they're cold and unemotional and don't care about anyone!!! basically robots!!! they form no attachments to others!!! [next line] Actual aros, neck-deep in abandonment issues and dreading the day their loved ones inevitably marry off and leave them forever (something they cry about fortnightly): lmao i WISH"

Stiles looking behind him with a shocked expression, following Danny's gaze as Danny stares at a shirtless Derek off-screen. The tumblr post reads "Me a year ago: I don't get why people like to see others shirtless? Like, it's aesthetically cool, but??? [next line] My aroace ass now: Oh. OH."

Stiles gesturing while talking to Scott in the school hallway. The tumblr post is from Ace-Thinks and reads "Ace culture is having tons of questions about how other people experience sexual attraction in daily life but having no way to casually ask them [next line] Like [next line] "So... sexual attraction... how often do you like... feel that? Also what does it... like... feel like?" [Next line] See also: aromantics [Next line] "So... crushes... what's the deal with those?"

Stiles with a deeply anxious expression on his face, standing with his hands on his hips, trying to support himself. The tumblr post is from Cupio-Ace and reads "The only crush I have is crushing anxiety"

Stiles sitting on the floor, anxious and coming out of a panic attack. The tumblr post is from MauveMyHeart (deactivated) and reads "I'm a triple threat. Asexual. Aromantic. Anxious." The A in each word is bolded.

Scott and Stiles in Stiles' jeep, driving through New Mexico as Scott drives. The tumblr post is from Autcore and reads "Deepening the bonds of your friendship over a long roadtrip is aro culture."

Stiles pursing his lips while dramatically saying "No" as his dialouge reads "I mean no. You want to hear it in Spanish? No." The tumblr post is from RisingSm0ke and reads "Sometimes I laugh because as an aromantic asexual, my sexuality is basically just: No."

End ID]

[noa-ciharu]

Random question:

I hope this won't offend you, but you may not answer this if this is personal.

"Since you stated in your bio that you are Aroace... who seems to have not any romantic feelings around people, would you say that Chobits or/and The one I love make a fine 'love story' for you?"

If something makes a good love story or not is a tough question. I usually deconstruct it to this:

Good love story shouldn't rely on readers shipping the characters.

Don't get me wrong, if readers hate the paring than they'd have harder time forming objective stance as well. But if someone who is neutral towards main ship(s) views the story and sees quality in it, then story has way more to offer than just rainbows and sparks. Therefore romance as genre on its own can easily fall down slippery slope of amatonormativity, stance that monogamous romantic (and sexual) relationship is everyone's primary goal in life, is on top of relationships hierarchy and that life is inherently without a value without its presence. If not viewing media under shippers lenses, those are very easily spotted. Hence romance combined with another genre such as comedy, psychological factors, horror, tragedy, drama etc.- those work way way better because there's more to the story than simply "when will those two kiss???"

Now, that's where "The one I love" fails sort of, because absolutely every chapter is entirely about romance, no depth whatsoever. But I feel it's wrong of me to bash on it since manga was sort of like Clamp's rough drafts/diary, more like self indulgent fanfic than proper manga. Lighthearted series that you read once, think it's cute and never think about it again. I wouldn't count manga as bad, more average.

Chobits however, it is more than you've bargained for definitely. Biggest plus in my book Chobits had is exceptionally well done mix of lighthearted, innocent and romantic moments on one hand with psychological elements and far far more complex issues than it meets the eye. At its core, Chobits is story about loneliness of modern world. With persocoms introduced to the world, those handy cute looking robots began replacing human connections; because having someone by your side who fulfils your every desire is far more convenient. Still, in process humans became not only detached from one another, but also from their persocoms as well; because they as well had feelings, even if they're piece of machinery humans viewed as replaceable.

Now there were alot of stories in Chobits about outcasts that grew too attached to their persocoms (like that dude that married one); ofc pain followed as average lifespan of machinery is far lower than human's. Then stories about humans being jealous of their loved ones caring more about persocoms than them. General fear that any inconvenience of human contact would be pushed aside and perfection of having someone who submits to your will would be sought as preferable option. And so much more, really story has alot to offer from psychological aspects.

And there's Chii - analogy for asexuality.

Echii elements are nicely done in this manga, because Chii herself isn't aware why walking around naked is inappropriate, why Hideki blushed when he sees her in just his shirt. She doesn't understand sexual attraction, nor she feels it. But she does feel romantic attraction, boy does she feel it strong. But she also felt fear when she realized she started loving Hideki. She worries if her affections would be returned, which to casual reader might be tad bit confusing since he's basically doting on her 24/7. Why is she unnecessarily worried you ask?

Keep in mind - Hideki is hypersexual guy. He's your average hetero teen guy who dreams about having a cute gf and later on wife. There's nothing wrong with that; but his dream does involve sexual activity - something Chii can't provide.

You see, that's the issue asexual people face every day - fear of rejection due to their lack of desire for sex being seen as inconvenience. It might sound a bit ridiculous to have one character in manga leave other because they can't have sex (especially if it's light romance manga where characters are expected to love one another with all the ""flaws"'), but irl that's unfortunately very very common occurence. People leave one another for far lesser reasons than that. To non-asexual people sex is important part of relationship and whether they want to admit it or not, being with asexual partner is seen as inconvenience.

Hence when Chii is fantasizing finding someone just for her, someone special who'll accept her for what she can do (provide romantic love) and what she can't do (provide sexual gratification) - it's basically analogy for asexual non-aromantic persons fantasizing about someone accepting them for what they are

[technicianuprisingau]

Meet the Cast: Robobot Armor

I gotta be honest, this one's very amusing since it's littered with swear words, but here's the last one for the day (hopefully), Robobot Armor. I can't believe they are the swearing guy of the team, but shut up lol.

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"Taking you long enough? Alright, f^ck it."

Basic Information

Name: Robobot Armor

Age: 3 months [chronologically]/19 [mentally]

Gender: Genderfluid

Orientation: Asexual

Hometown: Access Ark Green Greens Star Hill, Dreamland, Popstar Unknown ("Okay, actually, how the f^ck do I explain that one?")

Species: Artificial Being [Mechanical]

Ability: Pure

Job: Protector, adventurer

Other names: Truthful Steel Defender, Tincan ("If anyone but Bandee f^cking call me this, I'll make a sh^tty corpse out of them. I am not fighting for my freedom to be called a F^CKING tincan.")

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Born out of Kirby's untimely curiosity with a certain beta test chip, this mechanical suit managed to find a way to break out from their programming and live a life of their own with their now owner and friendly rival. Acting rough and tough to keep others from trying to harm their allies is not a problem, but despite them actually being softer than they let on, their battle system that mimics Kirby's own shows that they were really forged to fight, with less selections but more consistent and greater damage output. They are definitely the strongest member of the team physically, which comes to good use as they can tank more hits in the frontline.

Detailed Information

Goals/Motivation: "I was born to protect the living sh^t out of Kirby - he is my master, I had to. But then, he gave me some pretty damn good experiences, and now, I'll be f^cking fair, I realize there's more than just protecting him all the damn time. So now, I want to experience life. That is all. Screw those assholes who think I couldn't have one as a damn machine."

Hobby: "Well, I've been rather interested in organic life or whatever the hell it's called. I like gardening. Embarrassing for someone like me, you say? Well, you can go f^ck yourself. Learning about plant life is just pretty damn fun to do, especially how accepting they are to be taken care of, unlike some sh^tty people... Oh, and I like sharing all that sh^t with Taranza."

Favorite Food: "...do I look like I can f^cking eat to deduct this? I don't, so..."

Least Favorite Food: "...again, f^cking hell, do I look like..." *shrug*

Favorite Game Type: "I'm a robot, so I'm not damn sure if playing technology would be something I'd do, since I'm one. But f^ck it, just give me those simulation games or something. Gives me some f^cks to care when I get bored- Oh sh^t the doggy just died. Damn..."

Habits: Peppers swear words ALL THE TIME [thanks to Bonfire], tends to pick up Bandana in their arms so he can sleep well, observes every plant or animal they see

Other Liked Things: "Okay, so there's this f^cking red cloth I slung around me. That sh^t was from a flag Kirby just stole. He said something along the lines of making myself feel more accepted in the team since they all wear some sort of fabric or some sh^t. Though..." *mimics Kirby's gesture of holding one arm with the other solemnly* "...it does feel nice. I'll be damn honest, I was dang pissed off that when I was stuck as a damn hologram without my body, I wasn't able to feel it anymore! Kirby wound up getting a new proper one for me once I got my body back but... I'm still damn attached to the old one. Oh, and I also like those f^cking plants people gave me sometimes."

Secret: Actually just wants to be accepted fully as themselves. As being based on the invader armor, they sometimes become a walking trauma trigger for others who had experience with the HWC before. While most slowly but eventually became more open, some still avoided them. They understand that they can't befriend everyone, but the fact they kept making others feel scared unintentionally makes them feel a bit bad for themselves. They also sometimes feel a bit envy on how biological beings can live their life.

Relationships

Best Friends: "As my 'master', Kirby is one. Bandee too. Those two little sh^ts. They taught me a lot, I wouldn't live this far if it weren't be for them. And also Taranza, he gave me a lot of f^cking experiences in this whole organic life thing. To all of you, thank you."

Rivals: "Well, Bandee used to be a b^tch, so we used to beat each other's ass a lot. Nowadays, we still do, but friendlier. He always gives a damn good match."

Enemies: "F^ck you, Bonfire. I proven you wrong, asshole. Oh, and f^ck the old HWC people. Those idiots who thought I'd totally stick around to be their tool or some sh^t."

Family: "...Team Starstruck counts, right? F^ck yeah it does."

Crush/Love Interest: "I don't get what the hell it is and I am fine without it. But my master, Kirby, apparently has one, and apparently he couldn't f^cking admit that sh^t! It's funny as heck!"

Skills and Abilities

Overview:

Due to being binded to Kirby's Adaptor Chip, Robobot Armor shares some similarities with the Technician ability he is holding. They have their own Ability Modes and changes appearance and weapons accordingly. However, they have less choices (they have 13 configurations total, not including Halberd Mode and Final Weapon) but more consistent damage output. In other words, what Robobot Armor lacks in variety, they back it up with sheer strength.

Strength: Being a mechanical being means that they don't have to worry much about pain and durability. Robobot Armor is, well, strong enough on their own. Their strength lends them leeway to break things without having to think much about it, and their size apparently helps them to grapple opponents and toss them around. There's a bit of a wrestler in them, indeed. Ability Modes also makes it possible for alternative battle styles, just like Kirby. Basically? They hit VERY hard.

Weakness: Unfortunately, being a walking hunk of metal doesn't always guarantee that they can catch up to others speed-wise without boosting. Robobot Armor can still be overwhelmed by speed and numbers. They might not be fragile, but at the same time, they can't survive on their own when facing a huge army without help. They usually rely more on tanking hits, but eventually, they still have their limits and they'll be downed eventually with persistence.

"Sh^t, that took way too long now, didn't it? F^cking great..."

[vallahaii]

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I'm vallahai :)

This is my attempt at a pinned post, let's see if I can remember what's important.

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☄️ dms ❌

💫 very bad at responding to dms and prone to worry too much so I have them shut :(

☄️ asks ✅

💫 anything goes, I'm absolutely thrilled to answer anything and everything OC related but other questions are good too! Obviously just be nice :) You can also ask if you wanna dm me ↑ if you'd like I'm just a prey animal

☄️ commissions 💭

💫 i don't have any kind of sheet ready yet, but if you're interested let me know!! i'd be happy to work something out.

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more below!

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☄️ profile picture: a commission of my character by @ maxdei-00 !

💫 The @ works if you type it in without the space I just don't want to bother them with a tag!

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the basics

☄️ val/valla/vallahai

☄️ they/she works for me (generally in order of preference)

☄️ aromantic/asexual

☄️ demigirl

☄️ adult

☄️ Nov 12 🦂

☄️ high likelihood of having ADHD/autism

☄️ cat person and professional robot enjoyer

☄️ just assume that everything I make is in conjunction with @crystaljelly! everything we make is generally interwoven to the point of inseparability

☄️ I read the tags and comments in every reblog 🥹 they all mean a lot to me even if they're silly — y'know what, especially if they're silly 💜✨

💫 In a similar vein, I know some people don't like/will block if people mass-like their posts and such? I don't quite get that myself — if you're inclined to like-bomb me or something then feel free because I'll just be flattered 🥹

☄️ SFW*

💫 *I'll never post anything explicitly NSFW here, but I *will* likely post mildly suggestive or violent/sensitive character art that I'll do my best to tag and "read more"-ify accordingly (for example, if you've seen the Singing Machine piece). I don't think it'll necessarily be too bad, I'll do my best to make it very very clear if a post is a little dicey, but your mental health and online safety should be above all else so be wary!

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posting/fan interests

I'm more of an OC person and focus primarily on my own characters and stretched interpretations of a source material's worlds, so this extends into any media I become a fan of.

☄️ OCs and OC worlds first and foremost! (🪼→ @crystaljelly is the original world host)

💫 Interstice

💫 Elaryan (🪼)

☄️ Pokemon

💫 Divinity (🪼)

💫 Games, don't know anything about the anime

☄️ Lobotomy Corporation

💫 I'd say Project Moon in general, I've just only actually played and have characters for Lobcorp so far

☄️ Minecraft, Minecraft Dungeons

💫 The games themselves, not any attached SMPs or content creators

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💫 Characters are generally in one large world conglomerate that includes mods like VaultHunters (oh god iskall why), Valhelsia, and the Aether, as well as other games in the franchise like Minecraft Dungeons and Legends (I know, I know)

☄️ Moonstone Island

💫 frowns. I'm cringe, chat

other interests

not in any particular order; I'm largely a games and music fan above all else

☄️ Hades

☄️ Hollow Knight

☄️ Splatoon 3

☄️ Stray

☄️ Rainworld

☄️ Outer Worlds

☄️ Vocaloid/UTAU

☄️ Deep Rock Galactic (+Survivor)

☄️ Subnautica

☄️ Risk of Rain 2

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☄️ Astroneer

with all that out of the way,

hope you enjoy your stay!

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[vinnival]

If it’s not too much trouble, could I ask for a madness combat matchup?

Im a biromantic (asexual) female. I’m like 5’6 or something like that. I’m a bit chubby, but my breasts rival Sanfords lol. I’ve got glasses because I’m blind as heck and long brown hair with a weird blonde streak. I’m a nerd, and I love to mess around with computers and technology stuff, and for a while I spent a lot of time studying animatronics like they use at Disneyland. I occasionally hop between interests and recently I was really into cryptozoology and learning about the Mothman and aliens. Writing and baking are currently my main pastimes, and I love baking for others and sharing food. I almost always have music playing and love singing, mainly for my self, but occasionally for other people, and I find it fun to make playlists for people and share the music that I like. I’m a total introvert and I don’t spend a lot of time with others, but when I do I’m usually more outgoing. I’m a total crybaby, and I get emotional about everything. I think that’s it, sorry if this is weird or anything like that, and sorry about sending this at a dumb time, my sleep schedule is weird. Thank you so much!!

Don't ever say sorry about sending things in at wrong times !! I'll never judge, I stayed up till 3 AM last night hehe, as long as you get the proper sleep its okay <3 enjoy!

You got a match! You're matched with...

Auditor!

<3

art credit to @//malewifecombat !!

Everyone wonders how you managed to turn this man into sap

Well, it started with your quaint little job, working as an engineer- you'd just recently gotten it!

You made a moderately big breakthrough in the MAG technology, allowing them to grow even larger in size

Auditor came over to review your work and you just stood there like 🧍‍♀️

You were so tense omg relax bb

He approved of your innovation and he asked you a couple questions

"Are you good with any other types of technology?" Was the one that caught your ear

"Y- ahem- yes! Yes, I love working on robot beings, animatronics, if you will. On a general scale, though? Just robotics!"

He showed no indifference, but you managed to relax for some reason

A couple of days later he reappeared and promoted you to an all-new rank ???

Whoa!!! You had your own special wing???

He promoted you to "Robotic Control", and showed you to a room FILLED with books, tinkering toys, and a cool little area obviously meant for building said robotic stuff.

"You impressed me, newbie. Let me repay the favor."

"Hshs?jdiwh???sksuwu?woouu??u?u?o???" -your brain, probably while crying

You were so happy in there, and all the books were filled with other stuffs you were interested in

Like mysterious cryptids, their myths and it even discussed their supposed anatomy!

He bought you all the best computer parts from out of state and let you build your own computer ,,

Sometimes he would visit you while you worked and you had this weird feeling that he liked you

You were writing a short little story and singing softly to yourself one time, and then the Auditor came in

You nearly threw your book in the air from being scared

"I'm, could you please knock next time, boss?"

He looked like he was about to protest., but hesitated, then nodded. Your brain couldn't comprehend how you did that

A few minutes later you were tinkering on the current project you were working on: a robot grunt

You were hoping it could be altered by the MAG innovation you had

Suddenly, the grunt whirred to life and ran straight at the first target it could see: you

You barely had time to react when your own mf boss YANKED you to his side with lightning speed

He did away with the robot quickly with the spare pistol he had attached to his leg

"Good targeting mechanism, but it needs a little tweaking."

You just stared at him as he held you FLUSH AGAINST HIS SIDE

You stammered out an affirmative

He didn't leave you alone after that, visiting nearly every day

One day he walked in on you actually singing, and eating some brownies

He tried to make a swift exit, forgetting his promise to knock, when-

"It's okay, boss, I can tell when you're coming to see me nowadays."

He did a double-take, and reentered

You offered him a brownie

He loved it

He loves your baking

You bake more

Stonks

He knocked another day to hear sniffles from inside your quarters. You didn't respond, but he still came in- dare he say that he felt worried?

Auditor cautiously approached you and asked what was wrong

You were overthinking about your weight :(

He doesn't deal with individual insecurities in the common grunt, so he was confused on how to help

You just gestured for a hug, and he brought it in

Some instinctual urge inside him told him to whisper sweet nothings and thats what he did

He complimented your body, your personality, he was WAYYY uncomfortable with being so open about his feelings ngl

But he wanted to help you feel better awww

Eventually he closed off with a curt "I love you"

He didn't even regret saying that

You felt safe with him :)

Ohohoho im getting more matchup requests and I must say; I can take story requests/HC requests too 👀 I hope you liked this OP !! Thank you for the ask 💜

[just-another-hhazbin]

Alright it is time to risk getting myself cancelled. Today we’re going to be talking about aspd, aka anti-social personality disorder.  I’m making this post because I haven’t seen one that discusses everything I wanna talk about so here we are.

What is anti-social personality disorder?  In the barest essentials, it is an emotional disorder where it is very difficult to empathize with other people and understand their emotions, have high levels of apathy, etc. Sometimes it also correlates with very low impulse control.

In other words, it’s what some of y’all like to call sociopathy and psychopathy.

Let’s get one thing clear first - sociopathy and psychopathy are not actual pscyhology-approved words. ASPD is. However, the media and culture (or at least American culture, which is what I have first-hand experience with) has villianized and exaggerated it into this common trend where every criminal or horror figure HAS to be a sociopath or psychopath. 

Yeah, as one does with mental illnesses. Thanks, Hollywood + Government.

So right off the bat - please I beg of you to stop using psychopath and sociopath to describe someone “crazy” or “evil.” Stop that. (I’m not saying never ever use the word. Some characters are gonna say slurs cause they be like that. But you, personally, should know better. And also stop putting it in your story summaries and character descriptions, goddamn.) 

You are perpetuating a false narrative. It is estimated that 1 in 100 people in America have ASPD. Someone you know probably has it, even if they haven’t been officially diagnosed or even know they have it. If they do know, they’re probably really damn sick of hearing that comparison. 

ASPD is also not an aesthetic, and you know exactly who you are. If you want the edgy serial killer aesthetic I am certainly not going to judge you, but for the love of everything leave aspd out of it.

Someone with ASPD is not emotionless.  That’s another false narrative we can chuck out the window. It is true that they might be quicker to temper or seem somewhat cold or analytical, but those are hardly traits limited to those with ASPD. Some people do have higher levels of apathy and/or narcissis than others, but none of us are robots so cut that generalizing shit out.

As with most things, ASPD is a spectrum with different levels of effect and functionality. Someone who is more affected by ASPD but has been to therapy may have a higher functionality than someone with a milder situation. 

Personal experiences shape individuals, shocking, I know.

Also, just because someone has ASPD does not mean that they cannot form relationships or friendships. It may be difficult to understand empathy but sympathy can often be managed, and it is possible to feel affection and friendship in some form for even the most severe cases. 

It also doesn’t mean that they can or will ever develop empathy. We are viewing the same world but with different lenses, and that is okay. 

We might not see friendships or relationships the same but that doesn’t mean we can’t form attachments or feel a sort of acknowledged possessiveness that is the equivalent for some of us.

That there is a lack of empathy doesn’t make someone a bad person. It is still possible for someone without empathy to look at a bad thing and know it exists and not do it because they have A) their own moral code that may not make sense to the normative lense or B) they have self-preservation and/or a basic understanding of social norms and fucking decency.

“But I know someone who did [x bad thing] and THEY were diagnosed with sociopathy/psychopathy!”

First off, I’d like to see who made that diagnossis, since again, those aren’t considered valid terminology by the majority of the modern psychology world. Secondly, I bet I can fiind at least a hundred to a thousand to a million people who did [x bad thing] and don’t have aspd. Correlation does not equal causation, people.

You don’t have to understand something to still choose to do it. We might not understand why someone would be affected by x action, but we can choose what impact we make. There is no little sociopath/psychopath demon running around in our head laughing maniacally and pressing “evil” buttons. (This is a thing that therapy can help with though, especially for some people. For others it’s more a matter of socialization and exposure and it’s a learning process for everyone, aspd or not.)

I would also like to take a moment here to say that if someone tries to excuse their abusive behavior with “I have aspd/[x mental illness here]” it is just that - an excuse. If they are in a situation where they really cannot control themselves, then it is time to go to therapy or call counseling services and in any case you yourself are in no way indebted to helping them or staying in a dangerous relationship.

Anyway, disclaimer over, moving on.

A lot of this has been discussed around, so here’s onto something I’ve been seeing a lot of recently, especially in fandom and certain LGBTQ+ spaces, and am getting really sick of.

ASEXUALITY, AROMANTICISM, AND ASPD DO NOT HAVE TO BE LINKED

The ace =/= aro argument has already been said a thousand times, but I’ll say it again. Both asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums and they do not go hand in hand. People who want sex might not want love and people who want love might not want sex and, once again, that is OKAY. 

Now, onto the aspd factor - lately I’ve been seeing a lot of people saying “oh, such and such character is ace/aro/acearo, they MUST have aspd [or other terms]” or “such and such is a psychopath/sociopath and SO, they’re aro.”

Stop that.

Seriously.

Someone may very well have aspd and be ace, or aro, or acearo. But once again, correlation does not equal causation. I do get that on some level it’s understandable to play someone with aspd as aromantic in particular, but the lense is far too narrow, especially when it turns into a “must” situation.

Maybe what you would consider “romantic love” isn’t the same as someone with aspd would consider “romantic love,” but that doesn’t mean that they don’t experience it. Individuals have their own individual identities and definitions. 

There aren’t unbreakable chains attaching aspd, asexuality, and aromanticism together. It is perfectly okay to be all of those things at once or have a character that is all of those things, but please remember that they are all independent traits and are spectrums that show themselves in a variety of ways.

Also, don’t call being aromantic or asexuality a mental illness. Seen that one making the rounds again too and it’s fucking stupid. Stop it and just admit to being ace/arophobic so I can block you and move on.

~Disclaimer that I am NOT a psychologist, just a tired bastard.~

[delafiseaseses]

You won’t know it until I say it, but I’m asexual. Aromantic as well. Sex-repulsed, but specifically in the sense I’m repulsed by the idea of having sex personally. I’m also autistic and see, this is where I feel some feelings. 

I’m proud of all my... myself-ness, but I’m also very aware some prats place all autistic people as asexual. 

Fuck, we can extend this point: to a lotta prats the only autistic people am white, asexual, aromantic, cis blokes. I’d be described as all of them things (although I describe myself as only on the boundry of being a ‘cis bloke’, I’ll take the being called ‘mate’ and calling myself a ‘bloke’, but I’m not attached to my apparent ‘masculinity’).

Then again, I guess I fail at the ‘smart’ thing. I can appear smart, I guess, but I’m a C student who never finished 6th Form. We need more of them in fiction, I tells ya. More average intelligence autistic people and while we’re at it more women, non-binary and overall just not ‘white, asexual, aromantic, cis blokes’, aliens and robots. Yeah, way less of the latter two. Fuck that shit to death and back again to kill a second time. Oh and adults. Adults who act like fuckin’ adults. Played by people who are actual autistic adults. There’s no Earthly way a neurotypical can playact an autistic person well. It just don’t happen. Well, it don’t happen often, but it shouldn’t happen at all, ta very much.

And while we’re at it, how about another part of my myselfness that I ain’t mentioned yet: poor.

There a point in this? Not really, apart from just typing raw thoughts. Hopefully, at least, my very casual, down to earth and very distinctly British word choice and sentence structuring at least made it interesting.

[fantasticstoryteller]

New Amsterdam Chapter 152

“This is fascinating.”

Wade wanted to smack Stark in his face as he peered at Baby Boy—

[Not Peter.]

{Fake Peter.}

Which was why he balled his hands in his lap. He felt lost. He’d thought he’d known where Petey-Pie was, and what he was doing. How long had he been replaced? Had Wade just—never noticed?

“No, I’ve got to be the real Spiderman,” the robot on the table said as Angel took a tiny took and did—something—to his innards. “I mean, I remember me. I remember that—” A quick glance at Stark and the sentence was amended, “I have a job.” He looked at Wade. “I remember how we met!”

Stark ignored him. “The circuitry is amazing.”

Angel gave a low hum. “Are you feeling me root around in here?” she asked him. She was putting some kind of cable attached to what looked like a flat-screen TV in the robot.

“No,” said the robot, sounding distressed.

Distressed, and how Wade wanted to hug him and make him feel better. Squeeze him tight and watch him relax—

—but he wasn’t Peter. He wasn’t his boyfriend. He didn’t have the right.

“How do you know I’m not the original?” asked robot Spidey, clearly desperate.

Angel paused in what she was doing. Stark backed up. Both of them looked at him.

What? Why were they looking at him? They were the smart ones!

[They want to know if not-Peter is right.]

“Real Spidey bleeds,” offered Wade tentatively. “I’ve helped stitch him up.”

The robot slumped and looked so small, so defeated that Wade just wanted to scoop him up in a hug.

But he wasn’t real Spidey. Would real Spidey be upset if Wade consoled robot Spidey? He felt like he should be interrogating the robot—but it was so much like Peter…

The little blobs (that had stayed with him somehow through everything) spoke up in their chorus of, “Ponyo!” One of the little blobs detached from Wade, sped over the floor towards the table robot Spiderman was on, shot out a tendril of itself, and then rose to sit in robot Spiderman’s lap. “Ponyo!” the little thing said in its high-pitched voice.

Robot Spidey absently rubbed the top of the blob, like Angel did with hers. Stark looked at them both. “What the fuck is that?” Stark demanded.

“Dora had too much to eat so she had to divide,” Angel said calmly as she went back to examining and tinkering with Robot Spidey.

“Hi Dora,” said Robot Spidey morosely.

“No, that’s not Dora. This is Dora,” Angel said as she gestured to her shoulder—where Dora just appeared, somehow. “That doesn’t have a name yet. You can name it if you like.”

“It?” asked Robot Peter.

“No gender, asexual reproduction, so yeah. It.”

“I’m having a conversation about the reproductive habits of a slime,” muttered Stark.

“I think they’re more like giant amoeba than slime,” Robot Peter offered weakly.

“And you’re not participating. You’re hovering over my shoulder. Stop that!” Angel gently (must have been gentle because the hand was still attached) smacked Stark’s hand away. Lines of text appeared on the screen and Angel quickly scrolled through them. “It looks like Osborn gave you two forms of enhanced hearing,” she mused.

“Why would he do that?” asked Robot Peter.

“How do you know it’s Osborn’s?” asked Tony.

“In order.” Angel pointed to Robot Peter. “I don’t think he has any idea how Spider sense works, so he decided it must be an unconscious interpretation of vibrations, so you’re going to have to be extra careful.” She pointed to Tony. “The innards have the Oscorp logo on them.”

Wade was suddenly next to her peering into the open wound—not wound. He squinted and could barely see the capital O with the tiny c nestled in bottom of it.

[How good are her eyes?]

{Petey’s sad! Hug him!}

[It’s not Peter!]

{Close enough!}

“Wait, if—if Osborn has—real Spiderman,” said the robot in a tone that sounded slightly ill, “then we’ve got to rescue him!”

“I’m sure Spiderman can handle himself,” said Tony.

{Bitch say what now?}

[I’m sorry. Has anyone informed this moron about how Norman was blackmailing Peter? At all?]

{Can we kill him?}

[No, because then Peter will be unemployed. But we can dump dog shit in his suits.]

Angel gave a low whistle. “That’s a nasty program,” she said.

“What is?” Tony peered over her shoulder. He gave another low whistle.

Wade peered over Angel’s other shoulder. The white text against the black screen could easily have been gibberish for all the sense he could make out of it. Robot-Spidey fidgeted. “What?” he demanded. “What is it?”

“You’re designed to slowly fail in your Spiderman duties until a kill switch activates, shutting you down completely,” Angel said translating the text for Wade and filling in Robot-Peter who couldn't see the screen.

“Why would Norman want that?” demanded Tony.

“He wants Spiderman to die.” Tony and Wade turned to stare at the weary little (robot) spider.

“What?” asked Tony, clearly confused. “Why?”

(Robot) Spidey looked up and Wade could see the heartbroken expression through the mask, despite the fact that it wasn’t nearly as emotive as his own. “Because he can’t control Spiderman.”

Tony sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as Wade walked over hugged (robot) Peter. “It will be okay,” he said softly. (Robot) Peter gave a broken laugh. Wade looked over at Angel for help—and saw her doing something with the TV. “What are you doing?” he asked, curiously.

“First,” she said as her fingers flew over the touch screen, “I’m destroying the kill switch. And—ooh. This is an interesting little side program.”

“What is it?” asked Stark, peering over her shoulder again. Wade hooked his chin over (not) Peter’s head and waited for her to explain it.

“You’ve been equipped with a ‘superhero extraction’ program,” Angel said as she scrolled through the text on the screen.

Not(Peter) suddenly gripped Wade’s arm. “Can you get rid of it?” he asked tightly.

“I could,” Angel said thoughtfully. “I think it’ll be more useful if I just blunt the teeth of it though.”

“What?”

“I have a plan to rescue organic Spiderman,” Angel said. She looked between all three of them, once again the subject of rapt attention. She sighed. “None of you are going to like it.”

“You don’t know that,” Stark said. “What’s the plan?” Angel told them.

She was right. None of them liked it.

[natalia-kinsey-hestia]

TASK #1: 20 Questions

cw: alcohol mention

If your character’s in a bad mood, do they prefer to be left alone or have someone try to cheer them up?

Natalia definitely prefers to be left alone. When she was growing up, it was hard to find alone time in a house so full of kids. But she would always find a place to be alone, even if it was sitting in the closet for a few minutes.

How do they deal/have they dealt with conflict in their relationships with others, past or present?

She has never been in a relationship. They’re not her thing. Natalia is aromantic and asexual, and she has never felt the desire to be romantically attached to anyone.

Who or what is your character currently proudest of? Why?

She is proudest of her siblings. Anything they do to be successful makes her happy and proud. It really doesn’t take much.

Explain why your character has moved to/stayed in NYC?

Natalia initially moved to NYC for interior design school. In her senior year, she was part of an apprenticeship and got a full-time job with the firm when she graduated. She hasn’t left since. NYC is too wonderful to leave anyway.

If your character was having a bad day, which of these would they prefer as a means to cheer them up? Their favorite dish, a massage, or some space?

Probably both a favorite dish and some space. Whenever she has a bad day at work, she comes home and puts on one of her comfort films or TV shows, then she makes herself a giant bowl of pasta. Maybe she’ll also pour herself one drink.

What usually jump starts their day? Coffee? Exercise? A Shower? Breakfast? Or something else entirely?

A shower and coffee! Lots of coffee. Sometimes that is her breakfast.

Does your character thrive in order or chaos?

Order. 100%.

Would your character say that their parents were/are good at being parents?

She would call her parents amazing, loving, and extremely supportive. She loves them and is grateful for them.

What scares your character the most?

She is scared of heights. You won’t catch Natalia going on a tour of the top of the Empire State Building or any other skyscraper in Manhattan.

What did the last relationship your character was in teach them?

She hasn’t been in a relationship, but her friendships have taught her love and patience, and taught her how to let loose a bit.

If your character could choose 1 superpower, what would it be and why?

The power to stop time. Sometimes there aren’t enough hours in the day to work, sleep, and relax. Stopping time just for an hour every so often would be enough to help her get caught up.

What’s something people often misunderstand about your character?

A lot of people at work think of her as aloof, but she is just focused. She wants to be taken seriously and let her work speak for itself. In truth, she knows if she is a bit more friendly she may get more praise and perhaps a raise. But opening up to people she worked with is a bit daunting. What if they don’t like her? Then any hope of climbing the ladder in her firm would be dashed.

What is something your character tends to procrastinate on?

Doing chores. She will wait until the sink is full to do dishes and wait until her hampers are full to do laundry. 

Where does your character like to go/what does your character like to do for inspiration?

The museum! There is so much to see in museums that it just inspires her. She also reads a lot of magazines, books, and she gets inspiration from some of her peers. Natalia loves improving vague ideas from other people.

Does your character usually follow their head or their heart?

During work, she follows her head. But in life, she often follows her heart. Some jerks in her life told her that she was a robot because she was never romantically involved, but she loves deeply. Just not romantically. She loves her family. She loves her friends.

Who or what brings your character the most joy in their life today?

Talking to her family on FaceTime and going for long walks in the park (during the day.) As far as her family chats go, they are often chaotic. There are so many people who pop in and out, there is a lot of noise, and there is a lot of talking over each other. That’s all perfectly normal to her. She grew up in a big family and expects chaos most of the time. It just makes her happy to see everyone doing well.

Does your character have a hero or someone they admire or look up to? If so, who and why?

It’s a bit cliché, but she looks up to her parents. They are just good people who give an abundance of love to everyone they meet. She really admires them for it, and she always tries to give the same amount of love they’ve given back into the world.

Is your character much of a reader? If so, what author(s) do they like?

Natalia always says she wants to read more, but when she gets into reading, she really gets into it. But reading comes and goes. She loves reading about some interior designers and their processes, and also loves Jane Austen novels. And she loves reading new adult fiction by queer authors - though sometimes those books are a bit too ~spicy~ for her taste.

Does your character like surprises? How do they tend to react to surprises?

She absolutely hates surprises. When people tease about surprise presents, she just wants to know what they are right away.

Is there anything that your character collects? If so, what is it/what are they?

Natalia doesn’t collect anything. She doesn’t like having a lot of stuff around the house that she never uses.

[stainedglassthreads]

You know what I’ve decided I like best about Good Omens? 

A lot of the time, asexual characters are very explicitly robots, humans, or very bizarre humans who don’t fit in. 

And yes, Crowley and Aziraphale are strange by demon and angel standards, but their characters, and the story itself, are defined not just by that, but also how humanlike they both are! They’re the two who have been on Earth for the longest, who eat the food and wear the clothes and get attached to cars and bookshops, who genuinely love what humans get up to and want to see what they do next and who understand best what humans are like! 

Aziraphale’s the angel who wants to avoid the war instead of win it, Crowley’s the demon with an actual imagination! They’re not human technically, but they are SO human, and they are clearly in love, clearly mean the world to each other, but can still easily be read as asexual! And that’s something I so rarely get to see! 

[altik-0]

Personal Revelation

I've spent the last two weeks trying to figure out how to write this post, but my mind has felt like it's tumbling around a washing machine and trying to figure out how to straighten my thoughts into a coherent message has felt impossible. But I'm driving myself crazy continuing to hold off on saying something, so I'm going to just rip off the bandage now, and we can talk in more depth after the cut.

Hi! 👋 I'm Asexual and Aromantic! Let's talk about it.

Where to even start

This month has been a fucking trip.

On the one hand, this has been the fourth month of nearly continuous quarantine for the COVID-19 pandemic. On the other, the end of May was the spark that began a wildfire of protests against police brutality that have swept across the country, including the seemingly milquetoast land of Salt Lake City. I found myself simultaneously figuring out the umpteenth way to keep myself entertained while being in home nearly uninterrupted for over 90 days, while also desperately searching for the courage to exit my home and join the marches against injustice.

And in the background of all of this, it was Pride Month.

On the 12th, a Youtube creator I follow released a video about their experience discovering themselves as non-binary. You should watch it, but what is important for the sake of this post is that the bulk of the video is an asynchronous telling of various moments throughout their life that, in reflection, show them that "[they] were who [they] are now, back then". These moments form a tapestry that tell a story of self discovery, and the result is incredibly powerful.

They released a rough cut about a week earlier for Patreon supporters, and I was immediately transfixed. I watched it three times in a row on the first day it was uploaded. I watched it twice more after the release. Hell, when I pulled this video up now to get the share link I couldn't help but sit and watch through it all over again.

At first I didn't really know why I felt so attached to this piece in particular. Yet still, I spent multiple nights laying awake for hours in what felt like a dreamlike haze at the time. It took three nights like this for me to realize I had spent all this time reflecting on my own past moments, and revisiting them through the lens this video had shared with me.

How I got here

It is September 2005. I am currently at a school dance. I know I am supposed to be finding someone to dance with and enjoy that for some reason, but all I want to do is go home. I might consider mustering up some courage and just asking someone, anyone, to dance, if it weren't for the fact that I still didn't have any friends. Instead, I feel trapped, wandering up and down the side wall, waiting for it to be over so I can finally leave. I stumble across a small group also sitting on the sides; a girl reading manga, and another playing Yu-Gi-Oh! with a boy across from her. I approach: "I didn't realize anyone still played this" They invite me to join, and soon I find myself with genuine friends at school for the first time in years. I never think about asking someone to dance again.

It is the summer of 2017. I am at a bar with some coworkers at the end of the week. I don't drink, but I've opened myself up to joining people for happy hour because it feels like a good way to socialize, and I've genuinely enjoyed getting to know folks. My team lead makes a comment that he feels it's impossible for a man and a woman to ever have a friendly relationship without having some element of sexual tension between them. I rebuff this comment -- initially I feel a sense of feminist frustration at the concept, as if it is implicitly saying that men and women should not work together. As the conversation continues, I realize the real reason I feel so sure this is wrong is because I have never felt this way toward anyone I've worked with.

It is the summer of 2008. I am in church, listening to the new instructor for my Sunday school class shift the discussion towards politics. Since he began, every lesson without fail will eventually derail into right-wing screeds. For him, any issue that is even vaguely left-leaning is a potential avenue for Satan to take hold of you: feminism, activism, even environmentalism. But lately he has had a particular fixation on the topic of gay marriage, and it is beginning to take a toll on my mental health. Being in these classes, hearing a man in a position of authority repeatedly say "it is not that we shouldn't love these people, but we need to still understand that they are committing a sin" has become physically painful to listen to. Of course, I am not queer, just an ally -- I can only imagine how painful this must be for those who are directly affected. I will nearly pass out from exhaustion and anxiety during sacrament meeting a few hours later.

It is February 2020. I am out to lunch with a friend and coworker. I have just recently changed jobs after less than a year, because I was hopelessly miserable at my last one. It should have been a dream job, marrying two of my closest passions, but instead I felt suffocated by being in a world where everyone seemed indifferent towards me at best, or actively hated me at worst. My friend invited me to join this job, and although it is a miserable job, I find solace in being able to go to lunch and have genuine conversations with someone I get along with. He mentions his wife is pregnant, and the stress of tending for his current child while she is resting. I acknowledge the frustration, though somewhat awkwardly since I am still single. "Oh, yeah, I sometimes forget you aren't married yet, haha. Well, don't worry, you'll get to join in on the fun soon enough!" I want to say "I very much doubt that"; instead I say "Well, I guess we'll see." The conversation does not feel so genuine anymore.

It is January 2009. I am watching House M.D. with my dad. We bond a lot while watching tv. We're both avid fans of MST3K, and we are invariably the obnoxious people in a movie theater a few rows down cracking jokes throughout the film. It feels fun and rebellious, even if we're doing it at home where nobody will be annoyed. This episode starts with Foreman and Thirteen waking up together in bed after clearly spending the night together. My dad cracks a joke about how "they're going to get in trouble, since they aren't married!" I quip back "nah, it's not a big deal, they just slept together, haha." My dad pauses the show and turns to me, deadly serious: "Who told you that was okay?!" I am a deer in headlights. I suddenly realize that I meant "slept together" literally, but nobody else uses it that way. I don't understand how I missed that.

It is October 2010. I am at home, speaking with my mother after coming home from school. She has always been a political firebrand, and especially after I left the church and started college the two of us have connected on this a lot. She has just read an article that mentioned the expanded acronym "LGBTQIA", and says she doesn’t know what all the "I" and "A" refer to. I don't yet know what the "I" refers to, but I suggest the "A" is probably for "asexual". She says she hadn't heard of asexuality, though that does make sense. I realize I don't recall hearing about asexuality before either. I don't actually know if anyone identifies like that. It just somehow feels like something that must exist.

It is the spring of 2007. I am at a local game store playing at a Friday Night Magic event for the first time. I suffer from very extreme social anxiety, and I spent the entire week a ball of nervous energy. Despite myself, I have managed to drive myself to the event and register. I have promised myself dozens of times over that I already knew Magic players were people similar to me, so there was no reason to worry. My first match is against someone wearing a frilly dress, cat ears, and tail. She mews at me several times while playing. On the surface I have frozen and only robotically go through motions of playing the game because my anxiety has boiled over to the point that I cannot quite function properly. Inside, I am filled with pure delight at realizing that someone could feel comfortable expressing themselves that openly in a space like this. I eventually become friends with this person who I will later learn is trans -- I had never met a trans person before. I will become close friends with three more trans people, at least two enbies, and countless other queer people over the next decade of playing this wonderful game.

It is November 2019. I am at work, sitting at my desk, feeling completely numb despite starting the day energetic to the point of mania. I've just had an argument with a close friend -- perhaps the closest friend I've ever had -- and it ended... poorly, to put it mildly. So poorly, in fact, that it is safe to say we are just not friends anymore. The reality was that there were always problems between us, and this was a culmination of conflict that never really got effectively resolved. It might not have even been possible to resolve. In the moment, though, I cannot escape the suffocating feeling that I am a failure as a human being; someone who simply does not know how to maintain a relationship. My mind goes through loops of how I could have said something differently to have it end better. The emotional pain will not fully make sense to me until several months later, when I realize this was the closest thing to a break-up that I've ever experienced.

It is January 2012. I am watching House M.D. with my dad again. Since leaving the church, watching shows like this has been a desperate lifeline for our relationship. We don't joke as much anymore. This episode features a side plot with an asexual couple, who House determines is simply impossible, and uses his power of supreme logic to prove the asexuality wasn't real all along. I have heard of asexuality, though I don't know where or when, so I am angry at this. Of course, as an ally. I want to joke with my dad to release some frustration, but he is still in the church, and I don’t think he will empathize. I stay silent, and do not enjoy this episode.

It is December 2019. I am scrolling through a Discord channel I was invited to from one of the leftist creators I follow. This community has been a breath of fresh air in many ways, and one I found surprisingly helpful was an NSFW adult content chat channel where people are open about sex, fetishes, and more. I've considered myself fairly open-minded and sex-positive, but I'm still a virgin at 28 so I've found there is a lot I just don't know about. Today, someone has started a conversation about what qualifies as "taboo" and relating it to kink-shaming. Another member replies, mentioning they are asexual and find the whole notion of taboos being kind of bizarre. My mind reels at seeing someone who identifies as asexual in this chat. Over time I find out there are several other people who identify at least gray-ace in this chat, some who even draw risque artwork for commission. I realize how little I actually understood about what asexuality really was, and begin scouring the internet for articles and wikis on asexuality.

It is April 2010. I am at an Apollo Burger across the street from the local game store where I am playing in a Magic prerelease. My friends I followed over are talking about weekend plans, and one of them makes a joke about doing some chores to butter up his partner to have sex. The joke does not go over my head -- I am straight, and understand sex, even if I am still a virgin -- but I still can't help but think out loud: "You know, I just don't get why people make such a big deal out of sex." The awkwardness and confused looks are suffocating. I drop the topic immediately.

It is June 2020. I have just watched a video from an enby Youtube creator about their experience discovering their own gender identity. Over the next three days I will see every one of these past experiences, along with hundreds of others, flash before my eyes in rapid succession, over and over, until I begin to realize that I haven't allowed myself to truly identify how I do. Every time I asked "am I asexual?" in the past, I would dismiss it because I understood sex and have a sex drive. Once I actually researched asexuality, though, I almost immediately found stories of people who identify as ace and still experience a sex drive. I also discover a lot of stories from aromantic people that sound painfully similar to feelings I hadn't even realized were not the norm. For the first time I begin to realize I may not just be an ally.

So what does this mean

I came to a sense of satisfaction with living alone and single a long time ago. At first this came with a certain level of shame, because I felt like it was only because I was too cowardly to enter the dating scene and try to find a relationship for myself. Over time the impact of the shame diminished, but it never went away; it just became a quiet background noise that I got accustomed to pushing back.

But now that I feel comfortable calling myself "Aromantic", I don't feel any shame. A romantic relationship is simply something I don't need. Instead, I can focus on fostering the kinds of deep relationships that do feed my soul. That will likely be a difficult thing to do -- awkwardly traversing intimacy was something most people worked through as a teenager or young adult, and I'm nearly 30, haha. But it at least feels possible now.

But really the biggest change for me is that I feel like I can be honest and public about who I am in a way I never was before. Simply being open about this piece of my identity somehow feels important if for no other reason than to let other people who felt like I did growing up that they aren't alone.

So... yeah. I'm aroace. And I always have been.

[yastaghr]

Kinktober 2019: Day 11

I know I’m really behind now, and I’m going to stay that way because of pain and sickness, but here’s day 11. 

Pairing: Underlust Papyrus/ Underlust Mettaton

Kinks: Foreplay, Electricity, heats

Warnings: Asexual character, no sex

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20851682/chapters/50092979

“METTA, LOVE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

The robot turned away from his current project to smile at Pink. His boyfriend was standing in a pair of denim overalls with no shirt or shoes. His pink ecto-body was spattered with random patches of mud. He’d been working in their backyard on preparing flower beds. Metta had thought he’d have more time to set this up, but it seemed that time was up.

Metta blushed and stepped aside to allow Pink to see what he had been working on. It was a small attachment that could temporarily replace one of his hands. It looked something like a pair of tongs on the end of a long shaft.

“I was just doing the final tests on this. It’s a mini taser. I...well, I wanted to find a way to help you with your heats. I can’t bring myself to do anything sex related, but this….I think I can do this.”

Pink wrapped his mate in a warm hug. “YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING, MY LOVE. I CAN FIND OTHER WAYS TO FIGHT MY LUST.”

Metta hugged him back, resting his head on Pink’s chest and closing his eyes.”I know, tulip..And I don’t mind you doing that. I just feel bad that I can’t help at all. This way I can tease you into enough...excitement...that you can finish easier by yourself.

Pink planted a kiss on top of Metta’s head. “AS LONG AS YOU FEEL SAFE AND HAPPY DOING IT, I’M WILLING TO GIVE IT A TRY. I’VE NEVER BEEN SHOCKED BEFORE, BUT UNDYNE SAYS IT’S FUN. HOW STRONG WILL THE SHOCKS BE?”

Metta hummed and pressed into Pink. “Not very strong. I don’t want to hurt you, not even by accident.”

Pink kissed him sweetly. “THAT’S SO SWEET. I’M SURE IT WILL BE FINE. I TRUST YOU.”

Metta softly exited the hug and went over to the work bench. He unfastened the buttons that kept his hand fixed to his arm. Then he set the hand aside and replaced it with the taser attachment. He he turned around, Pink had removed his overalls, leaving him in a pair of briefs. They had little pink hearts on a black field. Metta smiled. He’d given them to Pink on their third anniversary.

“OKAY, LOVE. WHERE DO YOU WANT ME? I CAN LAY ON THE BED OR THE COUCH OR THE FLOOR. WHICH WILL IT BE?”

“The couch,” Metta said tepidly. “Is that okay, tulip?”

Pink beamed at him. “OF COURSE THAT’S OKAY, MY LOVE. I WOULD NOT HAVE SUGGESTED IT IF I WAS NOT OKAY WITH DOING IT.” Pink walked around the back of their couch and laid down on it. “SEE? IT’S FINE.”

“Okay then. Um,” Metta hesitated again, “Do you have any spots you’d like me to avoid?”

Pink promptly answered, “JUST THE AREA AROUND THE BANDAGE ON MY RIGHT SIDE. I WAS ATTACKED FROM ABOVE BY OUR STACK OF CLAY POTS. IT’S JUST A SCRAPE, BUT IT DREW BLOOD IN SOME PLACES SO I PUT SALVE ON IT AND PUT A BANDAGE ON TO COVER IT.”

“Oh no!” Metta was shocked, “I’m sorry that happened to you, tulip. We can go and get you some healing items when this is done. I’ll avoid that area for now. Anywhere else I shouldn’t touch?”

Pink shook his head and closed his eyes. “NO. I WANT YOU TO SURPRISE ME.”

Metta inspected Pink’s body, trying to decide where to start. He knew Pink’s nipples would give him the most reaction, but he wanted to build to that point. He decided on a spot on Pink’s left side about an inch below his floating ribs. He used the tongs to grab a tiny fold of skin, then directed a jolt of electricity through the metal.

“MMH!” Pink arched his back. Then he panted, his cheeks glowing a pale pink. “DO THAT AGAIN, PLEASE?”

Metta smiled. He knew Pink would like this. Time to send another shock through his system.

“AH!” Pink’s cheeks grew more colored. Metta deliberately avoided looking at his briefs. He knew if he saw the glow he wouldn’t be able to do this anymore. Instead he released his grip on that spot and moved down to pinch Pink’s belly button. This time Pink laughed as he arched up off the couch. “NOT THERE! I’M TICKLISH!”

Metta quickly moved his clamp to Pink’s right nipple. “I’m sorry.”

“DON’T BE SORRY. I DIDN’T KNOW, EITHER. IF I HAD KNOWN I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU.”

Metta nodded. Then, remembering Pink couldn’t see him with his eyes closed, he said, “I hear you. Is it alright for me to shock you again?”

“YES, BUT I THINK ONLY TWO OR THREE MORE TIMES,” Pink explained, “I’M...GOING TO NEED TO FINISH THINGS SOON.”

“Okay,” Metta blushed. Then he sent a slightly stronger pulse of electricity down the tongs.

“AH!” Pink really cried out this time, his volume uncontrolled. “METTA, I- INEEDTOBEALONESO-”

Metta quickly let go and backed away. “I’ll just be on the porch. See you soon. Bye!”

A few minutes later the sliding glass door to their backyard slid closed behind a sheepish Pink. Metta turned to see him in the overalls again.

“THANK YOU, MY LOVE. THAT REALLY HELPED ME A LOT. I CAN BARELY FEEL THE LUST IN MY SOUL. SO, THANK YOU.”

Metta smiled at Pink with warmth and affection in his eyes. “Anytime, tulip. Anytime.”

[weaselbeaselpants]

Headcanons for the Butterfly family you’re free to steal cause I probably won’t do anything with them.

I mean, I’ll prolly still draw some of these but I don’t have time to write fan fiction anymore so go nuts.

Jushtin gave his itty bitty sister Solaria hair and fashion tips. He was the one who first taught her to shave her head. Skywyne was not happy.

Solaria found dresses super confining and stupid pink is stupid GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT DRESS MOM!!!!!

When she was young, Solaria made friends with one of the dungeon keepers, who was a monster. He was blamed by a cook of the castle for a crime he didn’t commit and to save face, Skywyne had him publicly executed. Solaria ended up witnessing said execution and didn’t know why her friend was being killed. She internalized it and convinced herself that her friend betrayed her to save her from the horrible reality of what her mom did.

Solaria didn’t have time to care about finding a husband, what with the war she was raging against the monsters and all. Alphonse the Worthy and her had a one-night fling and she tried best to break it off so that he wouldn’t get any ideas about their future.

Solaria wasn’t super attached during her pregnancy - she was more worried about the fact that she had to be taken into hiding and that her troops were left without a leader. Then Eclipsa was born and she ended up thinking she was the most beautiful thing in the whole world and sought to make Mewni monster free and perfect - just for her.

When Eclipsa wasn’t with her mother or trying to see Globgor, her Uncle Jushtin was usually giving her lessons on how to be fab.

Eclipsa got really into monster dating when it seemed as though Globgor had completely changed sides and she thought he didn’t like her anymore. Once they hooked back up, all of Eclipsa’s potential monster suitors mysteriously wanted nothing to do with her...

Septarians found Eclipsa’s attraction to them patronizing. The one or two that dated her did so because they wanted to get close enough to kill her, but luckily Globgor stopped them in time.

Alphonse the Worthy was hurt by Solaria keepin him at bay after their fling on the sea. He was sort of kind of not maybe in love with his queen and devoted to her ala Jorah and Daenerys from GoT.

Alphonse also wanted to be in his daughter’s life and didn’t like Eclipsa calling him by his name. At some point he discovered his daughter’s secret affair and promised to keep her and Globgor a secret - he knew what it was like “to love someone the world tells you you could never be with.”

Jushtin was very old but still around once Festivia was put on the throne. He tried not to hold any resentment towards her, but deep down he knew something wasn’t right.

When she was 7, Festivia wandered away from the magical High Commission and started a flash mob in a lowly town square. There she met a shy little girl with light purple hair. Festivia tried to get the girl to stop mulking and let her bad self out, but said little girl was lead away by her stern robot caretaker and Festi never saw her again.

Festivia defended her ‘deceased mother’ Eclipsa in the face of scrutiny. All the “queen of darkness” and “running off with a monster” stuff was CLEARLY just propaganda. She never read her mom’s chapter but was sure from other notes about her that Eclipsa was a good person who loved her very much.

The Prince of Musty Mountains was a hunchbacked dweep everyone made fun of for looking like a rat. Festivia, however, thought he was sexiest man alive. She thought her eldest daughter, Dirhhennia, was equally the most beautiful baby in the whole world.

Dirhhennia had no regrets about by abdicted from the throne. She and Chad ended up living long, gloomy, mopy, happy lives together away from the public and prodding eyes of her sister.

Crescenta’s songday song was used as the ‘base’ for all the princess’ song day songs after this point.

Crescenta and her mother disagreed a lot behind closed doors. Festivia thought her daughter was an ego-maniac who needed more respect for her family, especially her sister. Crescenta further angered her mother by calling her grandma* Eclipsa evil.

Like most things in her life, Crescenta overcompensated her sexuality. She loved Emily Kelpbottom dearly but was not keen on admitting she was gay or even publicly showing affection. When she knew she had to bare an heir, she randomly picked a suitor out of nowhere to have Rhina. Emily was not happy and she and Crescenta had a bitter falling out, with even Dirrhennia calling Crescenta out on her lack of care for the woman her sister suposedly loved. Emily eventually found love again in one of her delegates. Crescenta never loved another person and was heartbroken for the rest of her life for what she had done.

Festivia the Fun became Festivia the Forlorn in the latter half of her life. Something had happened to her that made her break all ties with the Magical High Commission and brought her to the ultimate dumps. Under Glossaryk’s advice, she ended up agreeing to never tell Crescenta about what she had learned as she knew the truth would destroy her daughter.

The other members of the magical high commission recall Hekapoo never being the same after Festivia cut all ties with her and passed away.

Crescenta was rather against her daughter using a spell to make herself fall in love with John Roachley, whom she didn’t approve of. She told Rhina not to deny her asexuality for the sake of the throne and have a child by magic instead. 

Rhina loved to visit Septarsis for it’s pretty gladiolas, unaware of how much she wasn’t wanted there.

John Roachley was a controlling, domineering, violent, condescending beast who did love Rhina in his own deeply toxic way. Rhina was afraid of him and John had no problem with his wife staying afraid, cause that meant he was in control and could keep her ‘happy’.

Rhina tried her best to get her baby Celena to socialize, but the girl always hid behind her momma’s dress when they went out.

Celena the Shy had horns and a second pair of eyes she hid under her hair. She didn’t really consider these one of her secrets though.

Mewberty for Celena was horrifying as every boy she’d ever had a crush on was in serious danger of being smothered by her new-found ‘confidence’, aka hormones. Rhina had to lock her away during her growth spurts.

Celena may or may not have had various children with other men. Like Solaria and Alphonse, she wasn’t married to Estrella’s father - though their fling was a lot more happy than theirs.

Estrella adored her mother’s creativity but was less interested in the important aspects of ruling or magic making.

It was Estrella who began the tradition of making murals for the queens.

Comet was always running through Eclipsa’s secret tunnels and passage ways as a little girl. The MHC was worried she was becoming like her ancestor but Estrella refused to hear it.

Comet dated Lazlo Marmelade as a teen and for a time worshiped the ground he walked on. She later learned that he was having extramarital affairs behind her back which is why they divorced. Lazlo doesn’t know Comet is dead and secretly misses Moon.

In her youth, Comet loved nothing more than getting away and staying away as much as possible. For a time she secretly hoped her sister Etheria would inherit the throne instead of her. After becoming a mother however, Comet matured a great deal and returned to Mewni to take up the responsibility even her mother wasn’t capable of doing - mending the wounds of the monster/mewman wars.

Because of Lazlo’s lady charming, Moon has a couple dozen half brothers and sisters wandering around that she doesn’t know about.

Comet and Moon were inseparable - a true mother/daughter team who did next to everything together, especially when Moon was young. A big part of this was how Lazlo Marmelade never stepped in to his daughter’s life again so Comet felt she had to be both Moon’s mother and father.

Moon hated the idea of songday as a kid, much in the same way Star did. She incorrectly remembers her songday song as something wonderful because her mother was happy with it and it was one of the last events her mother and her did together.