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shadows-and-science-gone-mad · 4 years ago

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The Rise and Fall of the Brouscar Hegemony

Eons ago, a new race reached the level of technological advancement necessary to leave their homeworld and join the rest of the galaxy as space-farers. Locked inside containers of metal and glass, they were welcomed into the universe with open arms. But, soon, their true colors revealed themselves. They began to lay waste to the splendor of the cosmos, pillaging, destroying, and conquering in a reign of tyranny that lasted a million years. Though their bodies were brittle, they ruled with an iron fist. No other species has ever so utterly dominated the galaxy for so long. And yet, while they still live on in infamy many millennia later, what they have since become is less than a shadow of a shadow of their former might.

They were the brouscari. And this is their story.

The planet Brouscar was an odd world. It was about as small as is physically possible for a planet to be, while still being able to hold onto a breathable atmosphere. Beneath pink-tinged skies, this tiny swampy world played host to countless species, elongated and soft-bodied, perfectly adapted to a microgravity environment.

Of these strange creatures, the most fearsome were the beings that would give rise to the brouscari. Though their bodies shared the common radial symmetry of most of Brouscar's life, in one capacity, they were utterly unique amongst their myriad kin. On a world of soft-bodied creatures, they alone developed bodies covered in hard chitin, with sharp claws and knife-like teeth. The gelatinous herbivores of Brouscar were utterly powerless against their nimble, spider-like predators.

With their place at the top of the food chain secured, these proto-brouscari were well on their way to mastering their ecosystem. The wholesale slaughter of their prey sowed the seeds of destruction in their minds, seeds that would one day blossom into the unspeakable atrocities committed in their name. With their newfound diet of flesh, the added nutrients led them down a path leading slowly, inexorably, towards sentience. As soon as they began to harness fire, their dominion of the world was complete, and nothing would stand in their way.

It was only a matter of time before they realized that the only place left to go was up.

The amount of time that elapsed between the invention of tools and the first time a proto-brouscari explorer set foot on an alien world was unbelievable. Within the span of two generations, they had advanced to the point of sending manned missions to the other worlds within their star system. Once those were claimed for their burgeoning empire, it would only be another fifty years before their boldness pushed them to venture even further.

Space is big. It is an incomprehensibly vast expanse, teeming with amazing phenomena and fantastical creatures. However, one must understand that, though the universe is a place of infinite wonder, those wonders are separated by an eternity of absolutely nothing. If one lacks the ability to travel faster than light -- impossible -- or harness wormholes -- very, very difficult -- most of the experience of space travel consists of little more than flying through the emptiness of the void for years on end.

When the brouscari set off into the unknown, they knew enough about the universe to understand this fundamental fact of space travel. They anticipated that the journey would take generations, and that no one who left would ever see their home planet again. This was a risk they were fully prepared to take in the name of bringing glory to their empire.

For millennia, the brouscari scout ships flew, drifting away from their ancestral Brouscar in all directions. Over the years, the limitations of their bodies, so finely attuned to life in their swampy home, began to reveal themselves. On Brouscar, their spiny bodies and hard shells gave them a critical advantage over their soft-bodied prey. But, in the tight confines of a spaceship, a rigid exoskeleton only hinders movement, and long spines have the potential to get snagged on part of the ship, or to tear a hole in a spacesuit.

And so it was that, over time, the brouscari discarded the chitinous armor that so enhanced them back home. Their new forms were not altogether different from the jellyfish-like creatures upon which they once fed. While they retain a hard claw on each limb to this day, all other solid body parts were completely eliminated.

Of course, such a radical anatomical shift was not without its complications. Before, their exoskeletons were still capable of supporting their bodies even in high-gravity environments. But, by evolving in zero-gravity for so long, they became so delicate that they would need protective suits to even survive the feeble gravitational forces present on their ancestral planet. A strong-enough impact could pop them like water balloons.

None of this is to say that their ferocity was weakened along with their bodies. Far from it. If anything, the eons of isolation within their ships only radicalized their zealotry even further. While they were always aggressive, their ruthlessness was mostly an extension of their niche as apex predators -- in a competitive ecosystem, they needed to be more dangerous than their rivals to survive. But, in the sealed environment of a spaceship? Their predatory aggression evolved into something far more sinister. Eons in space made their bodies feeble, but only hardened their hearts, until only a blackened core of seething anger remained.

And, when they finally made first contact, this anger finally found an outlet.

The fortisyph were, in many ways, perfect foils for the brouscari. They had also evolved on a low-gravity planet covered in swampland, and had spent millennia drifting through the infinite. However, while the brouscari's endless isolation turned them into bitter husk of their former selves, the fortisyph spent their time in space studying and trying to understand the universe around them. The descendants of peaceful prey species, the fortisyph hadn't known violence or hardship since they left home. So, when their colony ship encountered the first brouscari vessels, they were expecting to meet their new celestial neighbors with open arms.

This illusion was shattered in an instant when the brouscari actually responded.

The exact records of what occurred in those fateful hours aboard the fortisyph colony ship have been lost to time. But, given the atrocities that were about to be committed in the brouscari name, it is fairly easy to guess. The peaceful fortisyph, extending an arm of friendship, were met with the teeth and claws of violent warfare. The brouscari tore through them like so many of their ancestor's helpless prey.

Then, once it was cleared of all life, the ship was stripped down for parts. Initially, the brouscari invaders had only intended to salvage materials to repair the damage their ship had undertaken in its millennia-spanning journey. But, in the process of scrapping their victim's vessel, they stumbled across the fortisyph's masterpiece: the wormhole drive -- a device which allowed for near-instant travel to any point in the cosmos.

With such a powerful tool at their disposal, the brouscari scarcely even waited for the blood to dry on their claws before beginning the campaign of chaos that would grant them such infamy.

It seems almost unnecessary to discuss what happened next. The millennia spent under the brouscari's clawed tentacles play such a critical role in the politics of the galaxy that they have become a shorthand for tyranny and imperialism. The artifacts of their conquest still litter the innumerable planets they laid to waste -- decaying sentry drones, the wreckage of towers, the smoldering remains of vast machines of war. Countless worlds, harboring countless beings, stripped bare of their life and left behind to rot, all in the name of bringing glory to the Brouscar Hegemony.

Due to their delicate anatomy -- specially honed for life in a zero-gravity environment -- the brouscari were incapable of directly engaging with their targets on their home turf. Even the weak gravitational pull of a small planetoid would crush them to death. So, instead, the brouscari turned the planet's gravity against its inhabitants. By far their favorite method of destruction was orbital bombardment. The ships would drop tens of thousands of projectiles from the edge of the space. These projectiles, aided by their needle-like shape, would pass through the atmosphere so rapidly that they wouldn't have time to burn up, striking the planet below with the force of a hydrogen bomb. Then, with the planet cleared of life, they would instantaneously travel to the next inhabited world, where this ruthlessly-efficient process would begin anew.

The annals of history are marred with the names of those exterminated in their vast campaign of destruction. The fortisyph. The oxcos. The varalans.

And the proto-brouscari.

After three million years in space, the brouscari had diverged considerably from their planet-bound ancestors. They were such different creatures that, when they eventually worked their way back to their ancestral home of Brouscar, they did not recognize their own planet or people as belonging to the same race. The system from which their dire campaign began was just another piece of collateral damage in their endless war against all other life.

But, perhaps, 'war' is inadequate. What the brouscari did was not warfare. It was genocide, on a scale never before seen, and never matched since.

After half a million years, with countless ruined planets and innumerable eradicated species in their wake, at last they had seemingly succeeded. They had conquered all of known space in a way nothing ever had before or since. Every system for hundreds of light-years was clutched within the tendrils of the Brouscar Hegemony.

But, as is often the case with imperialists, even this monumental task wasn't enough. Their entire society had been structured around constant warfare, and a society made for war has no purpose when there are no more wars to fight.

They needed a new enemy, something they had not yet conquered, something they could unleash their churning war engines upon that would give them one last taste of victory. And, lurking in the depths of space, they found exactly what they were looking for.

How unfortunate that it was the deltroi.

The brouscari had known of the deltroi for quite some time -- all spacefaring races were familiar with the bizarre and enigmatic entities. More ancient than all forms of organic life -- indeed, nearly as ancient as the stars themselves -- they had made themselves content with drifting through the cosmos observing the splendor unfolding around them, but never directly engaging with it. From within their crystalline shells, they had watched the rise of the brouscari with interest, but not concern. Concern was not in their nature.

It was only a matter of time before these passive nomads found themselves within the brouscari's crosshairs.

As soon as one of the brouscari colony ships had encountered a lone deltroi in the emptiness between two systems, it immediately broadcast its position to any other colony ships that were listening. Within moments, four other ships joined in the building fight. It seemed that the deltroi was cornered, and that yet another race would join all the others in oblivion.

One of the brouscari fired a single projectile at the deltroi.

And, in an instant, their invincible empire came crashing down.

In order to understand what happened here, one must first understand the exact nature of deltroi anatomy. Their bodies consist of a star-like core surrounded by a crystallized lead prism. This shell serves to keep the ravages of the universe from damaging their cores, but it also keeps the highly-radioactive core *in*, until its dangerous waste products have decayed enough to be safely vented out into space. This system is a finely-tuned balancing act, and any disruption to this balance could have catastrophic consequences.

When the brouscari projectile hit the deltroi, it punched a small hole clean through this leaden shell, providing all that radiation with a new exit point. This sudden depressurization caused the star-like core inside to collapse, triggering a supernova.

Within moments, the explosion immolated the shattered remains of its former casing, and swept through the assembled brouscari cruisers. The crews didn't even have time to register what had happened before a wall of gamma rays and photons ripped through their feeble forms. The force of the blast at such close range ripped the ships to pieces, scattering their wreckage across a light year of space.

In one fell swoop, this lone deltroi had done something that countless other species had failed to do for half a million years. It had proven that the boneless overlords of the cosmos were fallible. They could be beaten. They could be overcome.

They could be killed.

This simple event sent shockwaves through the empire of the brouscari. Naturally, given the enormity of the devastation, word spread like wildfire among the remaining colony ships. In all their millennia of conquest, they had never faced defeat, or even significant resistance. And suddenly, in the blink of an eye, five of their ships, fully outfitted with weapons and crew, were annihilated by an enemy who didn't even try to fight back. This was the first major setback in their campaign, and to have it be such a monumental one, the effects were immediate and drastic.

Almost as terrifying as the reign of tyranny that had preceded the incident was the great silence that followed. One day, the brouscari were the most dominating, ever-present force in the galaxy. The next, they seemingly vanished without a trace. No more planets were destroyed, no more species wiped out, no more technologies plundered. The greatest military campaign the universe has ever known evaporated faster than the crews of the doomed colony ships.

It seemed, for the moment, that the horror was finally over. That, after thousands of generations, the menace had finally been driven off. While things were turbulent for quite some time, eventually they began to calm, and an era of great peace settled over the galaxy.

Then, some twenty thousand years after the failed attack on the deltroi, the brouscari came back.

All sentient races who had survived their previous attacks braced themselves for the onslaught of another war, anticipating that the brouscari would pick things up where they had left off - or worse, that they would fight with even greater vigor than before. But, instead, they were met with beings who couldn't be more different.

Following the destruction of the five colony ships, the brouscari's morale had been thoroughly crushed. They had finally been beaten at their own game, had encountered a foe stronger than they could ever hope to destroy. War, put simply, was no longer *easy* for them. With their great defeat fresh in their minds, they did something their ancestors had not done for millions of years.

They turned away from the universe at large, and took a closer look at themselves. And they were horrified by the monsters they had become.

The time of great silence was, in essence, a self-imposed exile. The remaining brouscari colony ships halted their invasion plans, retreated to an uninhabited region of space, and spent twenty thousand years slowly un-learning the hateful doctrine that had governed their existence for so long. They took on the deltroi's role as passive observers of the cosmos - out of sight, but always watchful. They truly saw the splendor of the universe for the first time. But, where they saw new life and wonder, they also saw death and carnage. And it dawned on them that their entire existence had been built upon the latter.

Of course, one does not completely erase three million years of cultural evolution in a scant twenty thousand. But, while the brouscari are still very territorial and xenophobic, they no longer seek new worlds to destroy and conquer. Their ships have been stripped of both weapons and wormhole drives -- in fact, both of these technologies were offered as gifts to the other sentient races as a last gesture of good will, before retreating into their colony ships forever. These ships, once the lifeblood of the mighty Brouscar Hegemony, are now little more than decaying prisons for the great empire's last remaining descendants.

For the time being, the brouscari remain locked away in their self-imposed jails. While the rest of the universe has begun to slowly recover from their unmatched reign of terror, only time will tell where the next chapter of their turbulent story will take them.

#my writing #science fiction #alliance space #oc: Brouscari #this was supposed to be a quick worldbuilding exercise #it quickly became quite a bit larger than that

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wormmomma · 5 years ago

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MIDSOMMAR SPOILER REVIEW: this movie fucking broke me

CW:RAPE, ABUSE, PEDOPHILLIA

“Midsommar” is a grimm fairytale of sorts. A fairly different homage to the cult film the “wicker man”. “The wicker man” is about a european cult being investigated by a british christian cop, “midsommar” avoids the christian indictment of pagan/occult religious practices. midsommar attempts to be an out and out horror film unlike the a genre bending murder mystery/horror/thriller roots of “The wicker man”. Director ari aster obviously wanted to add to the annals of folk horror by creating an ambitious beautifully horrific and sometimes downright psychedelic film. Ari aster wanted to make a film where you can’t hide from the horror as it all happens in front of you. It's also a breakup movie for some reason? As someone who has seen the theatrical cut twice and the director's cut once I can assure you it misses the mark when taking both concepts. If you're wondering whether not to watch the film i think that on a technical level “midsommar” is beautiful and has amazing cinematography, but the answer is yes, but no. Jordan Peele was shown an advance copy of the film and told Aster "I think you’ve made the most idyllic horror film of all time" that high praise. But that being said for personal reasons this will be my final time seeing the film. I think the director's cut is a gorgeous and amazing three hour film. But as someone personally affected by rape, pedophillia, and the victimization mentally or physically handicapped people i cant reccomend this film wholeheartedly. I'm far from squeamish and love films that revel in shock, horror and extremity but I cannot in good conscious recommend a film I almost walked out on. I think Ari Aster has backpedaled immensely in his ability to create horror that exhibits empathy for his characters and the triumphs and tragedies that he subjects them too. “Hereditary” had an amount of emotional pathos for its characters that was almost completely removed from “Midsomer”. The fim feels unreasonably cruel even for a horror movie. Although enjoyable, proceed with caution “Midsommar” is a beautiful, slow, horrific but ultimately controversial mess of a film. 8/10

(the rest of this review is a plot synopsis and a meditation on the more controversial passages in the movie and is to be read for those who have actually seen midsommar. Spoilers abound!)

So what’s it about?

Midsommar is about Dani, an anxious and vulnerable young woman dating an emotionally abusive and reserved boyfriend named christian. After her bipolar sister commits suicide and murders both there parents, Dani goes on a european excursion with cristian with his anthropologist friends as they study a swedish cults midsommar summer solstice tradition. Dani reeling not only from having her parents taken from her by their favorite child, but also from the lack of any real emotional support goes on a gorgeous, psychedelia, induced nightmare of the cult horror variety. Immediately after touching down on the swedish cult's beautiful grassy commune christian manipulates dani into taking psychedelics. Christian although quite emotionally stunted and quite meek at his core is very sly and amazing at working people. Watching Christian make Dani do psychedelic drugs (mushrooms i believe) to make her clear refusal to take them into something that not only affects christian but also his friends and everyone around them is almost scary in its hilariously methodical toxicity. This leads to dani having a panic attack and from there the hits just keep on coming. Dani then has to watch as two cultist commit ritual suicide. This traumatic incident further escalated when one jumped off the mountain on his leg and needed to have his head crushed by cult members till it turns to meat and dust. To make a long three hour story with icelandic pacing short lets race to the finish line:

Christian begins to be pursued by a cult member named maja. Dani still reeling from seeing two people commit suicide has her worries invalidated by christian and all of his anthropologist bros. The anthropology bro argues about who deserves to break basically every rule of basic anthropology as they try to see who gets PAID for perverting a culture they were invited to study not disturb. Christian eats one of majas pubes. After pissing on a ceremonial tree for the dead, and taking photos of the forbidden religious text (written by an inbred autistic oracle boy) our two american secondary characters are chopped off. Dani and christian are the final outsiders left standing. Dani joins a dance competition (yes really) and becomes this year's may queen. forever to be immortalized in the annals of white female faces shown in portraits plastered in the sleeping quarters of this matriarchal cult commune. Christian is then raped as we discover how all the bodies of our other character are disposed of. Dani, inebriated and vulnerable, discovers christian being raped by the cult and forced to sleep with the 16 year old maja. Disgusted dani vomits and syncs her cries of pain with the cult sister and finally has her trauma validated. She is given the choice to then murder christian as hes trapped in a paralyzed state. Dani decides to burn christian alive in the body of a bear, finally defeating and overcoming her emotional abuser. Dani smiles as the cult writhes in pain from the death of the cult members burning alive with christian.Dani is happy. She has family. She is home.

So lets (finally) talk about maja

“Look at it from an academic perspective it would provide a unique glimpse into our sexual rights.”

“Can i not have a unique glimpse without participating?”

This is a conversation that is awkwardly cut from the theatrical version of midsommar. Christian is being offered to have sex with maja. Maja is a sixteen year old girl. The closest aster ever comes to revealing this fact is offhandedly mentioning maja having her first period. Christian refuses sex and is raped by maja, and the cult while a fourteen year old disabled child watches. There's a lot wrong with this scene. I’ll be honest for personal reasons I was really disgusted by this scene. I feel like im projecting but rape and pedophellia are really delicate topics and should be treated sensitivity. Ive seen alot of extreme very difficult horror films, i've seen rape, pedophillia, and violence explored in meaningful interesting and empathetic ways even ari asters own work like “meet the johnsons”. But watching maja rape christian with what i would assume are her older siblings, aunts, grandmothers, mother and other cult members as a 14 year old boy watches just made me feel fucking dirty. The weird part: it isn't horrific. While cristian was being raped, the audience I was watching it with were laughing. It wasn't scary. it was funny. It's a cognitive dissonance. The audience isn't aware of christians being raped or majas age. Most people assume he's cheating and deserves to be burned alive by dani. Making christian the bad guy of his own a rape is horrific but i shouldn’t need to hunt down that information and watch the film three times to understand that. It makes the movie feel as if its really bad at relaying basic information, at worst it's dishonestly hiding it to make the film more palatable. After putting all the pieces together I was disgusted. Ari aster crossed a line. I felt queasy and never wanted to see this film ever again. The fact ari aster could have made maja of age, or take the disabled 14 year old out the scene entirely, or not have had christian be raped in the first place while reaching a more understandable and tragic ending annoys me to know end, it feel like i watched these characters be used and mistreated for no reason. Just to shock me. It lacks value, it’s gross and uninteresting. much like christian and everyone involved i feel violated and it's really hard for me to enjoy watching what is an otherwise (although flawed) very interesting and compelling work or art. I’m still morbidly curious of the next film ari aster makes but i really hope he learns for this mistake and doesn't objectify children in another weird fetishistic male rape comedy routine. It just leaves me confused, disgusted and only makes it more challenging to analyze the more interesting implications of the film. I really appreciated hereditary as someone who has a very emotionally abusive family and has a very hard time processing death. I found hereditary horrific as it is cathartic. As someone who had to quite recently confront a pedophile, midsommar just left me hurt, and trapped. I was reliving some of the worst parts of my trauma as an audience sits around and laughs at it. It all felt so tragic and meaningless. I want to actually give ari asters work an honest critique but he's produced the only work of film that really hurt me and left me feeling violated. I really love his work and I know I'm exaggerating but I hope art never has such a negative effect on my mental health or anyone else’s ever again. I don't blame Maja or christian or the actor who portrayed them. I respect their performances although I have zero respect for how utterly tasteless midsommar ended up being for me. I think I need to learn how not to take art so seriously and try not to invest myself in other people's work. It's a difficult habit to kick. Needless to say, I cannot recommend this movie. If you're able to separate art from the artist and read this whole review without watching the film you're not a bad person for watching it, midsommar is a compelling, difficult experience.

I hope you enjoyed this review and I'm sorry if it got wayyy too personal in the end there. The movie clearly struck a raw nerve for me. if you enjoy this or any review i've dones let me know. I may reveiw hereditary in the future.if your also having issues with death, rape, abuse or mental health i hope this review didnt make it worse. Everyone is deserving of love, family, community and I hope everyone can find that. Have a good day, and have a safe quarantine.

#movie #reveiw #horror #cults #ari aster #midsommer spoilers #midso #midsommer #film #jordan peele #bear #analysis #critque #hot take #problematic

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twitchesandstitches · 4 years ago

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I like to imagine my character’s powers being detailed in a hypothetical RPG game mechanics (usually Exalted) and this is a good enough metaphor to describe my current basis for Tia’s power set, and potentially other beings like her, with a mind towards potential flexibility, her being able to assume whatever powers make sense for her themes, and in turn making those as limited as I want. The gist is that she, mechanically, could swap out her powers as a dramatic action in her downtime, and allowing more strict limits makes them more controllable, but having more powers taxes her in a way that makes her more prone to monstrous behavior.

This has two chief consequences; firstly, my tendency to rework a character for whatever’s most fun for me at the moment has actual, in-universe backing. The second is that this gives her great flexibility as a character; for example, she can be a wholesome heroine who passively drifts to places and solves problems, but depending on what’s going on with her power set, having too many installed can ALSO make her compelled to hypnotize or mind break anyone that she deems needing to be Helped, or as an accidental consequence of her overpowering might; people who get caught up in the tide have little choice but to be lost in its flow.

here’s how it works, below the cut!

Imagine that Tia has a resource, that she commits to install powers. And then, let’s say that her powers are not singular abilities (’Tia can do so and so’), but broader capabilities in the form of multiple skill trees that each cover some of the things she’s done in the past. Things like shapeshifting, devouring abilities, outright magical powers, energy attacks, crafting powers and general transformative abilities. By installing more of these powers, she can go from fairly limited abilities (such as ‘eat something and get stronger from it’, ‘infuse with power for modest strength boost’ or ‘craft something twice as fast as normal using only your bare hands or digestive tract’) to much more complex and powerful ones, at the cost of those abilities taking up more resource.

So, she could go from eating something to gain a minor strength boost or sustaining herself, to being able to transform her body based on what she eats; she could eat a spring and, for a duration, automatically transform any part of her body into a spring-like form that gives her greater power with it. And a more advanced power would being able to devour emotions or thoughts; what she could transform with THAT is up for debate.

The limitation of this, however, is her resource.

When she goes over a specific limit (set, perhaps, by how much she’s eaten recently; the more she eats, the higher quality it is, the more resource she gets, thus motivating her to seek out better prey), though, she suffers strain on herself. Now imagine a ten dot track meter, perhaps called Dissonance; this measures how much disruption to her stabilized mindset she suffers. It is normally at zero, indicating her form or mind isn’t out of control at all. But as she invests more resource past a safe limit, she gains a point of Dissonance. For every point in dissonance, I would say that she suffers a compulsion or a supernatural consequence.

These compulsions are related to her powers, and generally involve her being compelled to do certain things with them. For instance, if she has powers related to being so hypnotically beautiful or charismatic that she can awe others into viewing her as a divine figure, she is compelled to do so under certain circumstances (Such as ‘whenever possible’). Or if she has hypnosis powers, to employ them whenever someone disagrees or does not immediately comply with her; the more extreme the compulsion, the more points of Dissonance it will cover, and thus allow her powers to be stronger.

This can also account for her more extreme lust depictions; a common dissonant compulsion for her could be the need to constantly have sex with anything she possibly can, whenever a possibility presents itself, or be treated as devouring something for the purpose of her powers that require such.

In short, this gives a mechanism for her contradictory personality depictions; on the one hand, there’s the way she NORMALLY works. On the other hand, with high dissonance, she can gradually start behaving in less socially acceptable, more outright monstrous ways. For example, an establsihed trait is that she prefers not to kill or hurt people. With the right Dissonance trait, though, she may become horrifically violent and savage, relishing the crushing of bone and spilling of blood, seeking out things to kill or smash, or violently reacting to the slightest offense or insult. (With low Dissonance levels, she can resist the impulse if it is clear that there was no offense meant. At high levels, she might level cities because something bumped into her.)

Two schools of thought here: one, she automatically has specific personality quirks or obsessions that come into play as her dissonance rises. Two, she may elect to pick which ones apply. It is assumed the second one is the default!

It is assumed that her powers are the basis for her compulsions, and that they generally come in three flavors of monstrosity: Lust, Violence and Hunger. Lust is probably associated with social-enhancing powers, or ones that directly affect minds in some respect. Violence related to her needing to smash, crush or go RIP AND TEAR, and is influenced by powers that make her more effective at doing so. and Hunger, influenced by powers that relate to her eating things, makes her increasingly more obsessed with devouring anything in sight.

Note that while Tia’s personality may drastically change, so much so that she is unrecognizable, her basic motivations are not. She may still act in a benign way, but her mannerisms become more monstrous. Even at her most violent, she is well intentioned, though she may not be mentally capable of articulating herself or understanding WHY she wants to protect others. Her most lustful is still based on a desire to make others feel good and care for them, in her way.

A possible exception; extremely high levels of Dissonance can measure her completely breaking down and succumbing to her most base instincts, with conflicting personality fragments and mutually contradicting desires rendering her unable to think straight. in this case, she acts purely on instinct, ruled by her most basic drives and desires: a true monster and, with the power available to her, a horrendously powerful one. This makes her the Thing That Cannot Die, the horror that brave men weep to encounter.

(That said, it is tremendously cathartic. She may be required to enter this primal state for a brief period every so often to relieve the stress of fumbling with mortal thought that comes so hard to her.)

The other possibility is that her Dissonant points can be ‘bought off’ by taking on supernatural weaknesses; suffering intense pains when hearing noises produced by specific materials (bells made of silver or gold), needing to stay within a certain distance of bodies of water or needing to be immersed in water a certain amounts of time a day before suffering rapid power loss, extreme vulnerability to electricity and fire that her defensive powers cannot protect against. This also allows her to be VERY powerful while having serious weaknesses.

This can even lead to responses such as unnatural fear from her for people that do not personally know her, causing them to instinctively reject her, in a manner similar to the Disquiet phenomenon of Promethean: The Created. In short, those within a certain radius will sense her and begin to experience feelings of horror, mistrust, escalating to fear and irrational hatred that they are forced to act upon. (Alternatively, this can be manifested as overpowering lust, obsession, and worship, afflicting entire countries at once; she can cause total societal breakdown and civil wars without realizing it.)

It is important to note that Dissonance is probably NOT an in-universe thing... so far. This is essentially a mechanic to measure/justify her getting increasingly more weird and monstrous; people might get a weird feeling coming from her, or even close allies feeling irrational fear or horror when she is nearby, but this is a consequence of her eldritch nature being less masked; Dissonance is a measure of her mortal pretensions coming frayed.

That said, dissonance being a thing all eldritch beings like her deal with would be neat!)

#twitchy!ocs #twitchy!tiashar #twitchy!ideas #queued

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disconnecteddots · 5 years ago

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Notes on Nathan Robinson's Response to J.K. Rowling - The Bathroom Debate

Because of my great respect for his other writing, I have taken particular interest in the response of Nathan Robinson of Current Affairs to the recent J.K. Rowling controversy, entitled "J.K. Rowling and the Limits of Imagination". The essay is a polemical attack on her views and character, calling her a transphobic bigot.

I will mostly be using the traditional definitions of "woman" and "man" in this response ("adult human female" etc.), except when denoting otherwise using the adjective "trans".

Here are some of my thoughts, mostly on bathrooms and changing rooms.

The subtitle reads:

The creator of Harry Potter could imagine the most marvelous fictional universe in children’s literature—yet she can’t imagine the inner lives of transgender people or the radical expansion of political possibilities.

This is a very helpful sentence contradicting the idea that Rowling is of poor character. Yes, the ideas trans rights activists (henceforth TRAs) peddle are indeed "radical". It should come as no surprise that people have trouble imagining radical ideas. This is a common feature of radical ideas, regardless of whether they are true! Whether someone can imagine radical ideas is not very indicative of their character.

She tells the usual fear-mongering tales that conservative Republicans tell about the perils of having trans women in the bathroom:

“When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman—and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones—then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside.”

As my colleague Brianna Rennix has written, this is ridiculous: people who wish to commit sex crimes in bathrooms do not have their gender checked at the door. A person does not have to “pass” as a woman to commit a crime in the ladies’ room, they just have to walk into the ladies’ room.

First off, note the switch from Rowling's "bathrooms and changing rooms" to just "bathrooms... the ladies' room". Changing rooms have mysteriously disappeared in Nathan's response. I have seen this dodge before. Perhaps because it's easier to defend bathrooms, where private stalls prevent voyeurism, than changing rooms, where people may change and shower in the open.

But more importantly, Nathan's retort is easy to dispute. It is very easy to think of impediments that keep men from entering women's spaces. They may be observed, noted as suspicious, and/or confronted inside the space. They may be observed, noted as suspicious, and/or confronted by observers outside the space, such as a waiter in a restaurant seeing a man enter the women's restroom. They may be asked to leave businesses or other establishments. They may suffer social consequences if word is spread of their behavior. They may be ejected by staff or police. With social and physical consequences for trespassing, it would be difficult for a man to use strategies such as repeated entry or lingering in women's spaces, useful for finding opportunities for misconduct. Seriously, what would happen if a man entered a women's changing room with twenty women in it? They'd confront him and chase him out! And all of these possible consequences also creates internal discouragement in the offender: fear. Fear can be overcome by repeated confrontation of the fear - in this case, that would be repeated intrusion into women's spaces. But that's difficult if the intrusions result in consequences.

But with explicit sanctioning of self ID as the only criterion for entry into women's spaces, none of these defensive strategies can work properly. Intruders can overcome their fears through practice. They can enter and linger as often as they like, so long as their behavior wouldn't provoke suspicion if done by a woman. They can't be ejected by staff or police until after they commit an offense, and much voyeurism won't be punishable at all - no one gets kicked out of a changing room for scanning the room. No one gets kicked out of communal showers for showering in them.

There is one remaining defense with self ID: prejudice. If trans women are still observed and noted as suspicious, that decreases the ability for men to intrude and offend. If social consequences are still imposed on trans women for using the women's bathroom, that also serves as a deterrent. But if this prejudice is eliminated in this context as TRAs desire, these defenses will be lost as well.

Does Nathan really think it's a knockdown argument that unless there's a guard at the door, or the door is locked, that that means there is no impediment to going somewhere? Sometimes I leave my front door unlocked at home. But if an intruder were to enter my home, they'd risk running into me, the police being called, etc. That's just a basic fact about life. The threat of social or physical consequences discourages people from certain behaviors even when there's no immediate obstruction to those behaviors.

On to the next quote from Nathan.

More importantly, she does not consider that her own framework for bathrooms, by wanting trans women to use the men’s room, will create the exact abuse situations that she says she is worried about—and every day instead of rarely. We have some data suggesting that forcing trans people to use the wrong bathroom increases their risk of being assaulted, which is what you’d expect. Why is the fear experienced by trans women forced to use a bathroom for the opposite gender not present in her framework? Because J.K. Rowling is transphobic, and trans women’s experiences are seen as less legitimate.

First, TRAs have a really hard time understanding that their Gender Critical opponents don't have a problem with trans people, they have a problem with men - people who fit the traditional anatomic definition of "male" or "man", regardless of how they identify. My guess is that this is because feminists of all stripes have normalized anti-male rhetoric, so to admit that GC feminists are anti-male and not transphobic would be rhetorical surrender. Rowling addresses this specifically in her essay: "Ironically, radical feminists aren’t even trans-exclusionary – they include trans men in their feminism, because they were born women," but Nathan ignores what she says. Excluding trans women but accepting trans men in the women's bathroom is best characterized as anti-male, not transphobic. And demanding that trans women not be called "men" or "male" in any context is using definitions as a manipulative tool by making it rhetorically impossible to refer to human sexual dimorphism.

Second, segregating bathrooms and changing rooms are a probabilistic measure towards reducing sexual misconduct and violence. Not all misconduct will be prevented - the goal is just to prevent some of it. Some women commit sexual or violent crimes against other women - we let them in the women's bathroom anyway. Many men don't commit sexual or violent crimes against women - they're excluded regardless, even if they're in a low risk category (e.g., gay). Men are left to fend for themselves against other men in men's bathrooms and changing rooms - even if they're weak, disabled, poor, or of a marginalized racial group. Many trans women could easily pass as men and go unnoticed in the men's room - self ID means we're not just talking about trans women who have undergone sex change operations that intrinsically draw attention. Should our efforts be devoted to reducing intramale violence and harassment in the men's room, or effectively abandoning the segregation system altogether by adopting self ID? How will the effects of self ID change over time as trans acceptance increases, reducing the social barriers to a non-trans male predator pretending to be trans as an abuse tactic? These are completely debatable questions. It is not bigoted to consider excluding some or all trans women, just as it is not bigoted to exclude gay males. Segregation systems by definition separate humans from each other based on some arbitrary criteria, and I have heard no call for generally integrating bathrooms and changing rooms into unisex spaces.

Next quote.

...in her essay she talks about the problems she sees with letting “any man who believes or feels he’s a woman” be considered a woman, which is very straightforward: she thinks many who claim to be women are not in fact women.

More subtle dishonesty from Nathan. Here's the quote he's referencing from Rowling:

When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth.

That doesn't actually imply Nathan's "very straightforward" interpretation that "she thinks many who claim to be women are not in fact women". It just means what she says, and it is indeed a simple truth. Perhaps there are not many men dishonestly claiming to be trans women now - Rowling actually doesn't comment on that at all in that quote. Nathan just made an opinion up for her so he could trash her. But if transphobia is eliminated from society as both TRAs and Gender Critical people desire, and there is no medical or other gatekeeping preventing males from claiming to be women, then yes, any man may claim to be a woman with zero impediment. We have ample evidence from history that men will go to great lengths to commit crimes against women. So yes, we would expect voyeurism and other abuse rates in women's spaces from opportunistic male intruders to go up. Obviously. If we didn't, why would we bother having separate facilities in the first place?

Nathan’s argument also reeks of what I previously noted: that the TRAs demand that “men” and even “male” be used to refer to gender identity, and not anatomy, is a manipulative tactic to make it impossible to discuss human sexual dimorphism. Nathan writes, “She thinks many who claim to be women are not in fact women.�� Trans women are often anatomically male (I’m not going to debate whether medicine can change sex or intersex people here). Being born anatomically male is why they’re trans women and not non-trans women!

I'll take a moment to note that the TRAs no longer consider gender dysphoria a condition for being trans. That is, even persons that are psychologically accepting of their conventional gender, or who could become accepting through non-transition treatments or growth, can be considered trans. So what's stopping an abusive male from saying, "hey, I would just prefer to shower with women - that sounds more pleasant than showering with men?" Nothing!

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myvoicenottheoneyougiveme · 5 years ago

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And I've seen, I've seen who I'm reflexively drawn to, and I've seen her in many forms now. And I've seen the results of that attraction without fail.

I've also seen who I'm not reflexively drawn to, even if I'd like to be.

And I've seen who my mother is reflexively drawn to, but I've also seen the emotional violence she's capable of.

At the end of the day, you're correct to distill it down to the overarching paradigm. There are those who are more concerned with getting and those more concerned with giving (albeit under the false belief that reciprocity follows). The person that keeps bending and bending and bending and bending and dismissing their own needs while being led like a beast of burden on a leash--being kept on their back foot concerned with repairing and making right their own part in it--that person eventually comes to a place where they've said (as best they can to hold fast to it) that ENOUGH is ENOUGH.

Do you find me in the uncanny valley?

Do you also find a framing in which there are certain assumptions made about what never actually existed in any way shape or form in the first place? A non-existent relationship with a non-existent person but apply, apply all of the same rules of engagement as though, the exchange could even substantiate such a connection. For my part, for my part I have existed and made myself known and real to this "thing" on the other end of the "line", both by and against my will. For "their" part, I have only my imagination to apply over top of someone who could be literally anyone. In fact this has happened and "it" had to correct for this error. "Isn't it such and such a time in the morning where she lives?" I'd ask. Disbelief and disbelief justified to me in multiple ways so as to leave a shadow of doubt I couldn't shake. Stand-ins, stand-ins and messengers and meta-placeholders of every kind you can think of... across time and space. And I'm supposed to have experienced someone and feel connected to them, when half the time they weren't even there at all but instead just some “(flying) monkey” somewhere doing wizardry with a computer merely on "her" behalf.

A connection to another person. Experience of one another, bonded in mutual self-disclosure with a specific person who is uniquely themselves and not someone else. An irreplaceable person who is themselves and not someone else. A person, an experience of a person like the earth under a plant to even put down roots. Instead, I've always felt like I’m adrift at sea holding fast to but a piece of wood that might have once been a boat. Everything anchoring and grounding and substantiating reality and permanence no better than the fluid sea.

And it's always been framed back to me that there's something wrong with ME for an inability to feel connected and a part of something with "someone". And how I've been made to believe this multiple times, a force of guilt like a weight tied to my ankles to pull me under those waves.

The driver behind the wheel of "this" is concerned only with my own half of it and what they feel they are owed. So consumed with getting their share, they are either willingly or unintentionally blind to the fact that just because they can feel connected to ME does not mean I can feel connected to THEM. I of course exist. I am a real tangible person who has both made himself known and whose personal space has been invaded repeatedly (on a level that defies belief) to that end. I exist. I am a real person that can be felt and experienced. "She" does not and cannot. And the closest I ever come to real experience to hold fast to, is showing myself aforementioned media to bring substance and color to an imagined person, feeling which is then immediately gobbled up by "her" for all its worth followed by a vexation as if to say “THATS IT?!”. Like seedlings in the ground, an overtaxed earth, the consumptive force feels a lot to me like an analogy to ecosystems. If the crop, the yield, the resource is overtaxed, it's ability to continue producing is diminished until it's snuffed out--smothered out of existence. The "relationship", the third entity besides ourselves, cannot produce or amount to what is demanded because the inputs are wrong or imbalanced. "Relationship" implies and requires two. a x b does not equal 0 x b or a x 0. What happens when you multiply anything by 0... you get ZERO.

But that's my fault. That's my fault I've been repeatedly told, and I am everything under the sun that is false and predatory as though to the exclusion of the reflection of the one siphoning and manipulating and committing every kind of emotional abuse. Somehow, somehow the one doing these things is not all that and more, but I, I'm the lowest form of scum.

You would hold my subsequent classification of such a person against me? Be my guest.

All I want anymore, all I need more than anything anymore, is an ending. I can’t live this way. I can’t. I’m not. You can’t dismiss the crime being committed and what it’s doing to me. I can’t. I’m not. And I can’t just hold my breath forever, waiting for it to be over.

______________________________________________________

Edit/addition - re:re:

It's as though you just have to get it out, you can't negate, can't invalidate the truth, so you have to play like you always do. Well gee, he's just changed so much you see. It slips in, it implies, it keeps intact your narrative and your impetus for all of "this". He is this monster, he has to be in order for you to be the other. But we can make this concession, I think we can manage that. He's really not that bad... for a monster. One might even say, he's CHANGED.

Beginning to end, nothing has changed, nothing has changed in the least. This is the same exact day repeating to infinitude. You have to be one thing, that means he has to be another. Because there is a mountain of SHIT (and it includes every "him" before me) that someone has to own up to, that someone has to be responsible for and it sure as hell isn't going to be you. “Just cause”. Just cause is your answer to the truth. Just cause, even if the present moment completely blows that out of the water. Well, you see he's just different now, but I was right to do all of this, and I'm going to keep doing this cause you know I just have to protect myself. IM A VICTIM DONT FORGET IT. IM JUSTIFIED. IM JUSTIFIED. "THIS" ISNT WRONG. ITS NOT. ITS NOT.

What part of cease and desist? What part of "ending", don't you understand?

You can't let go, can't let go of "this" game, can't take your fangs out of my life, because you NEED "this" like oxygen to breathe. You need "this", and it's at my expense. You live out a fantasy about yourself at my expense. In order for you to be a given thing, I HAVE to be the other. That's my only use to you. I am a vehicle to the completion of that reflection in the eyes of everyone you sell tickets to... including this "expert" that you only conscripted because I leaned on their expertise for solid ground. You haven’t changed the truth in any of it even if you’ve gotten them to reframe it all as though to be used against me, as though you could assign to me parts of yourself and take for yourself parts of me. Reversal after reversal like reality weren’t reality at all.

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bublp0pr · 8 years ago

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Soul Theory abridged (+ my theories)

So a bit ago I wanted to make this post about Chara and Asriel but i realised i kept having to explain myself when i talk about the nature of souls. It’s so damn annoying to try and explain every time so i figured i should compile my understanding of the game’s pseudoscience on the matter (as well as throw in theories that i operate under). Took me a bit to get it all out but i think it’s worth it (i’m such a nerd).

I tried to be impartial but i am stating my own theories at points so don’t treat everything as fact. I try to state when i’m just coming up with my own opinion though.

I couldn’t help but start a lot of personal notes (using ~italics~) and tangents along the way, sorry (I put headers before and after them so you can skip though, don’t worry :P) .

---

Let’s start with the basics. The soul is the very culmination of one’s being. There are 2 known types of general souls: human and monster. There is also a subclass of monster soul known as a boss monster which acts differently to normal monster souls (more on that later).

Stats

A soul has the core statistic of ‘HP’ which defines its original and current state of health relative to how many hit points it could take before the soul will be destroyed. For example, a monster with A/B HP: this indicates their soul is originally capable of receiving B hit points of damage (the number to the right of the slash) and in their current state they can receive A more hit points before they die (the number to the left of the slash).

Some speculate that HP is short for HOPE.

Monster food, rest, DREAMS and “being filled with determination” are all the ways the game mentions to ‘recover’ HP, or in other words raise the statistic’s current value. With one exception, all forms of increasing HP cannot raise a current statistic above it’s original value, making this the soul’s normal limit. Rest however has the unique ability of raising the current value above this limit.

A soul can increase its original (i.e. maximum) HP by gaining ‘LV’.

LV (plus AT and DF)

Also known as ‘LOVE’, LV is short for level of violence. The normal soul begins with an LV of 1, as any being is in some way capable of committing violence, regardless of their disposition towards it. LV affects the nature of how ‘easily’ a soul is able to defend itself against others and hurt those around them. To me, this implies that a minimum quantity of this statistic is necessary for a soul’s basic survival because it regulates all defensive and offensive function.

~This sounds like weird stuff to be specific about but trust me, I’ve read comics where Frisk has had ZERO LV. Firstly: check the menu at the start of the game!! Second: I mean, come on! Come ON! Seriously? The character who 50% of the time agrees to go along with Chara’s plan has 0 LV to start?? If you had 0 LV you wouldn’t survive your first fight.You would also be incapable of gaining LV in the first place as you would find killing fundamentally impossible. But hey that’s only my interpretation. ~

Numerically, LV increases a person’s statistic values of DF and AT (which reflect that ‘easiness’ to defend and hurt). DF reduces the hit points a soul will receive from attack. AT raises the amount of hit points a soul’s attack can potentially deal. I won’t go further into these however because there isn’t much linking them to the soul.

~ohh i’m tempted to start an extensive tangent [foreshadowing my bad habit...] about what i think DT and AT are really linked to... but that’s not relevant to this bc it’s not about the soul so i’ll just drop it.~

EXP

LV is increased by obtaining ‘EXP’ through the act of killing other souls. EXP stands for execution points. A set amount of EXP is required for each increase in LV, with a larger amount needed for every transition. I like to think this is suggestive of how the more you commit violence, the more desensitised you become to the basic acts; only actions severe relative to your current stance or something you still find to be a large mass count of simple murder can trigger the rise.

The game doesn’t specifically state what variables go into determining how much EXP a kill will result in. From what i can tell based on the game: the strength of emotional attachment, overall difficulty of the battle and brutality/mercilessness in how you kill them all factor in, but this is purely personal opinion.

EXP and LV remain permanent irreversible values within a run that cannot be decreased- only increased.

There is an instance of losing an ‘experience point’ when attacking Naptsablook (whose intangible body makes the action redundant and even counter-intuitive) however note that EXP represent execution points not experience points making this situation meaningless. ~(thanks nochocolate for the blog post about it that cleared things up for me. Almost started a long theory tangent about the loss of EXP without realising the deliberate difference lol. http://nochocolate.tumblr.com/post/152125281314/if-you-tried-to-kill-napstablook-which-is ) ~

No amount of good deeds can remove LOVE gained. However, altercations to the timeline can reverse LV and EXP. This means that these qualities are not transferable with the restoration of the soul on loading/resetting a timeline. Similarly, AT, DF and HP are reset to their previous state when reloading (though, because accessing a save point restores your health before even offering to use determination to SAVE, some consider HP not to be set to its previous state but simply fully restored).

Death and persisting

When a normal monster soul loses all HP, it shatters, causing the monster to die.

Human souls and boss monster souls however can “persist after death”. The exact implications of this are unknown, however evidence indicates that it involves the soul continuing to exist after the body is destroyed (consider Asgore and the 6 human souls).

Irrelevant Non-Canon Theory Tangent Time! ( I will eventually go back to the main point, i promise... or you can just skip this lol)

This being said, when Frisk loses all their HP in the game, their soul breaks in two before shattering into infinitely small pieces that scatter off screen.

Now, their soul is exposed during battle in a way that monster souls aren’t. When Frisk uses FIGHT, they are damaging the monster’s body. After the body becomes dust, the soul then shatters killing the monster. But when a monster attacks the human, their magic is targeting Frisk’s soul, “the very culmination of [their] being”, rather than simply their body. This explains how HP can be lowered as simply a stat without affecting Frisk’s actual physical condition (like breaking their legs or leaving bruises etc.) and how Frisk is able to survive the conditions from attacks that would normally kill someone (bombs, intense heat etc.) What this means however is that a monster damages their actual soul in battle, meaning that by trying to kill them they are destroying the soul.

This does not make sense. The soul of course needs to remain intact for Asgore to use it and break the barrier. The only contradiction to this is Papyrus, who instead captures you when you reach 1 HP. But it is established that Papyrus misunderstands the general objective of monsters attacking humans, so this is not done deliberately to maintain the soul for Asgore. Even Asgore himself, when fighting you to collect your soul, triggers a shatter scenario when he defeats you.

All of this leads me to think that when a monster brings a human’s HP to 0, this is not expected to destroy the soul. That can mean one of three things: A) Frisk’s soul works differently to what the monsters are familiar with, B) The soul is supposed shatter and the pieces are collected because that’s how human souls ‘persist’, or C) Something is destroying their soul other than the monster after their HP drops.

Possibility B is irregular though, because this is not how Asgore’s soul ‘persists’ when you defeat him. For a brief period, the soul remains intact, hovering over the space Asgore previously filled. Note that this time period is longer than any of Frisk’s pauses after they lose all HP. After Flowey attacks the boss monster soul, it too shatters in the same way as Frisk’s and the game treats it as though his soul is now unrecoverable after this action. As humans and boss monsters are both described as having souls that last without bodies using the same term (persist) it would make sense that they function in the same way so possibility B is unlikely in my opinion.

My theory is that Frisk refuses to ‘persist’ in order to return to their save point. In other words, they need to place themselves on the brink of death to reload. An interesting case to correlate this is Flowey, when describing his first experience with resetting. Not wanting to live in a world without love, he chose to kill himself. It wasn’t until he was “leaving this mortal coil” that he began to refuse to die, using his determination to reload the world. Note that ‘refusing to die’ created a paradox where the soul itself had already been allowed to die because Flowey chose to, but determination made this option impossible. This contradiction may be the source of why time is affected to resolve the issue - ‘reloading’ to a point that had similar levels of determination but with a not-destroyed soul.

~but i don’t know a damn about quantum mechanics or what sort of impact determination has on it. So... yeah, the paradox thing might be overboard~

Another reason possibility C could be the case is because Frisk is aware of what happens if a monster catches them. Toriel explains to them in the Ruins about why monsters want to attack them, so it is reasonable to assume they may think this when they die. Using their determination, they refuse to allow monsters to contain their soul and instead shatter it and reload.

Tangent in a Tangent(???) The six souls

I think it is important to highlight the six already contained souls when considering this argument. Recalling possibility A, obviously how these 6 souls interacted with the monsters lead them to believe that depleting their HP still allowed them to collect the soul.

Not much information is given into the specifics of how each ended up in containers, whether Asgore killed each of them or if some were defeated by other monsters before they could get to this point. It is also not known if all the humans could reset.

Like I discussed in a previous post, Toriel mentions having the feeling when meeting all of the humans, she has the feeling they are “already old friends” (implying it isn’t the first timeline they encountered her. Note this is only mentioned after Frisk themself have also encountered her twice) and Asgore nods sadly when you tell him he has already killed you multiple times (suggesting he may be familiar with this from at least one of the previous humans). These pieces of evidence lead me to the conclusions that Asgore personally killed at least one of the humans and that all six had some semblance of determination allowing them to reset.

Why they eventually became captured despite this (again, like i said in a previous post) may be linked (in my opinion) to either a loss of their desire (and therefore determination) to continue - survival seeming impossible or their determination to return home waning - or a deliberate choice to sacrifice themselves for the cause of monsters.

*bringing tangent of tangent back to topic of original tangent now

This idea attributes more understanding into the nature of how determination and reloading works. That the humans had choice in whether to use their determination or could eventually lose that power makes the idea of Frisk also deciding what happens to their soul after defeat sound sensible.

It is also possible that Frisk’s soul shattering could suggest Chara’s intervention. It is of course Chara’s memories of Asgore insisting they remain determined that echo within the reload screen after Frisk dies so there may some sort of link there. The relationship of control between Chara and Frisk however is wholly unspecified for most of the game however so this speculation cannot be conclusive.

~This one webcomic called ‘The Thought’ by TratserEnoyreve has a scene that shows this idea about choosing death and Chara being involved pretty well here : http://tratserenoyreve.deviantart.com/art/The-Thought-45-597910634 (it was cool and inspired some of my idea so i wanted to show it :D )~

* End of Tangent * (finally)

Persisting does not specify if the soul will continue to exist forever unless destroyed or if there is a small period to use the soul before it eventually dies like others.

Boss monsters won’t die of natural causes unless they have children, that is not to say they’re immortal though because we know they can be killed (Asgore, Asriel and Toriel are/can be killed). The rest of soul types, humans and normal monsters, are also mortal and can be damaged and killed.

Composition of the soul

Monster souls are said to be made of love, hope and compassion. Human souls, as far as monsters observe, do not require these to survive and so their composition is not known. Alphys does learn however that human souls possess determination, which she concludes is what allows human souls to persist after death.

~I want to point out that Alphys harvested determination from the existing human souls, so all human souls have determination - NOT JUST FRISK! Siggghhh the amount of people that assume Frisk is the only human to possess it...nm. I’ll save the rant for later.~

A common theory among fans is that the qualities of Determination, Bravery, Justice, Kindness, Patience, Integrity and Perseverance (associated with the colours red, orange, yellow, green, aqua, blue and purple respectively) are what can/do compose human souls. Some fan theories go so far as to suggest one particular one particular trait manifests itself in each person, as the six human souls appeared to demonstrate qualities associated to one of these each.

~Now, i don’t really like going into all that jazz, especially since it’s all based on just the colour of their souls and a snowball mini golf game of Ball. So that’s all i’m going to say about those.~

Unnecessary Theory Tangent Time again! (I’m basically done this section so feel free to skip)

There is one thing about what makes up souls that i tend to theorise about that i haven’t mentioned yet...

Think about Flowey. He possess two things that that gave him life: determination and Asriel’s essence. Now, I’m not using that term lightly. We all probably understand at this point that when Asriel turned to dust - the seeds of the flowers Chara wanted their dead body to be buried with (before they were attacked) dragged back across the barrier with him - his dust became spread across the flower seeds that then grew like in normal monster funerary practices. And we know that the flowers eventually received injections of determination from Alphys awakening the essence of Asriel left there because of this dusting. See, I said the word again! Essence is mentioned specifically from the book in the Library, where we learn about monster funerals:

“When monsters get old and kick the bucket, they turn into dust. At funerals, we take that dust and spread it on that person’s favourite thing. Then their essence will live on in that thing”

Obviously at this point their soul (which is described as the culmination of their being) is destroyed. So what exactly is the difference between a monster’s essence and the culmination of their self?

I’ll be honest. I don’t know myself. In a lot of fan fiction and art I’ve encountered, the term ‘essence’ becomes lost in story and they suggest that Flowey has Asriel’s memories brought to life by determination. Some say that means Flowey is simply a husk of Asriel, like an imperfect replica missing a soul that replaces someone long dead. Others say that Asriel’s consciousness is that essence or memory, and Flowey is in fact truly the original Asriel. Either way, what really fascinates me are the ideas of memory or consciousness being that essence we’re talking about.

These properties sound like the kind of things that come from the soul rather than the body... so what could that mean?

Well, option number one: it’s not linked to the soul. Perhaps this essence is intertwined with their magic (i’m going to be talking about monster bodies a little later), which means it would have to go somewhere when the body turns to dust. Voilà, you have the essence existing inside the favourite thing. I wonder if there needs to be some emotional connection to the object for the essence to be able to make a new connection, otherwise the essence would simply exist in the location they became dust rather than what their loved ones intended.

Option number 2: it is a part of the soul, possibly the shattered pieces or some part of it that becomes dust when it’s destroyed. This then has a similar effect as option 1.

Option number 3: perhaps a monster’s ‘essence’ is neither of these things. What if monster essence is their form of an intangible afterlife. Consider that Chara, like Flowey, was awakened when exposed to a large stimuli of determination. Unlike Flowey, we have no idea how Chara functions. Most consider them to be a lingering memory that now happens to reside in Frisk. Perhaps determination’s residual effects, when powerful enough, draw other beings back from the dead if they can find a host. But this is unlikely.

Relationship with body

A soul establishes an inseparable relationship with a body. This doesn’t mean that the soul must be physically attached, but a body cannot be sentient or function without connection to at least some of the elements of a soul.

Monster bodies

For monsters, their bodies are composed of magic manipulated by the soul. Though this is a broad statement. Ghosts, for example, are fundamentally under this same definition as much as skeletons however there are obvious differences in how this magic manifests.

The physical forms taken by monsters are surprisingly diverse. To name a few: beings made entirely of fire that they can choose not to let burn things, bones composed of and held together by magic that can twist their skulls shape to make expressions, incorporeal expressions of non-tangible magic, inanimate objects possessed by magic to complete corporeal beings... all mixed in with the more normal forms of anatomy that we’d place somewhere between animal and humanoid. All these forms however are made purely of magic sourced directly from their soul.

Because a monster’s body is directly connected their soul in this way, attacks to a monster damage not their form but their soul - which is why attacks affect simply the statistic of HP rather than their physical body.

An exception to this rule is Mettaton, whose body shows sign of physical damage with the loss of limbs when you attack their soul. Though, i feel i should point out that Mettaton is made of both “metal and magic” (as included in the quiz) so parts of him are non-magic, purely physical.

Monsters food is designed to be converted to energy instantaneously on consumption, implying most monsters don’t have a need for digestive systems. Though a monster in Grillby’s does say he intends to try human food on the surface so it is likely that some forms are still capable of it.

Because of this direct connection between the soul and magic necessary for control of a body, all monsters can use some form of magic. It also makes their bodies more attuned to the disposition of the soul - which lets their battle statistics become dependent on their emotional state towards a fight. “If a monster doesn’t want to fight, it’s defenses will weaken. And the crueller the intentions of our enemies, the more their attacks will hurt us.” according to a book from the library.

Regardless of the form of a monster, with their body’s destruction the form shatters apart into s similar dust. There are notable instances from main characters in the game who are able to remain intact after losing their HP to deliver final words before eventually shattering, showing actual injuries such as cuts and losing their head. However most monsters simply just go paralysed for a second, shock on their face, and then shatter.

Human bodies

Unlike monsters, human bodies are composed mostly of water. I assume we all know what a human body is, it represents the actual things we have in real life. Human bodies have advantages over monsters because they are composed of physical magic rather than magic. It makes them stronger than monsters and lets their fighting skill be independent from their emotional state. But it does mean that humans can’t express themselves with magic in the way that monsters can.

This isn’t to say that humans may not have been able to use magic, as seven magicians on the side of the humans sealed the monsters underground. But we don’t see any evidence of humans being capable of magic within the game to ground any arguments on. A book in the library states explicitly though that “the will never know the joy of expressing themselves through magic” so obviously there’s some significant inability on human’s part to ‘express themselves’ with it.

When a monster attacks a human, their magic is targeting the soul, “the very culmination of [their] being”, rather than simply their body. This explains how HP can be lowered as simply a stat without affecting Frisk’s actual physical condition in the game (like breaking their legs or leaving bruises etc.) and how Frisk is able to survive the conditions from attacks that would normally kill a human (bombs, intense heat etc.)

~^ I mentioned this part in my tangent... but who the hell reads tangents??~

Obtaining additional souls

Souls that can persist are able to be absorbed by other beings. Souls of a similar nature cannot be harnessed by each other (monsters can’t possess monster souls and humans can’t posses human souls). Note that Flowey, being a soulless creature that classifies as neither category, was able to collect and use both types in his process to becoming the Ultimate God of Hyperdeath.

When a creature in possession of more than one soul dies, all souls existing connected to them die as well... though considering the only example of this is Chara, who maintains some sort of existence considering they’re awoken by Frisk (at the very least in genocide routes, debatably in all of them), I personally think the term ‘die’ may not be totally correct...

~and no, i’m not going to start discussing the tens of different interpretations for Chara’s role. So i’ll just stay as vague as that.~

Containing more souls makes the being owning them more powerful, manifesting a physical change in appearance and a dramatic increase in strength and attack abilities. The strength of the souls becomes cumulative, with additional souls adding their original strength to the new total.

The combined soul strength of all the monsters in the Underground is equivalent to one human soul.

~(though not including Napstablook for some reason...) As this doesn’t extend to Mettaton or mad dummy, it may have something to with his non-tangible nature~

Examples within the game:

- A human possessing an additional monster soul or a monster possessing a human soul becomes powerful enough to pass through the barrier capable of resisting the strength of any monster or human without this.

- Flowey possessing six human souls is in possession of enough determination to override Frisk’s ability (this is an indication of the irregular amount of determination within Frisk considering this much is necessary). It also gives him the power to entirely destroy Frisk’s save file.

- The power of seven human souls in one being is considered to make the being a god. This power is also the standard needed to break the barrier.

- Asriel, in his true Ultimate God of Hyperdeath form, is composed of six human souls and all the monster souls of the Underground that equates to the strength of 7 human souls. With this power he is able to regenerate a monster form for himself again and shatter the barrier.

Comparing the strength of this form to when he had six souls, we receive an idea of how significantly the increase of a single human soul’s worth of power can raise attack.

Determination

~A fair deal of determination stuff feels like it should really be classified as it’s own field of lore pseudoscience. So i’m not going to go into detail. Let’s just get the basics out here though...~

As previously mentioned, human souls naturally possess an entity known simply as ‘determination’. Alphys describes determination in her research to be “the will to keep living... the resolve to change fate.”

Determination is considered in multiple contexts to mean different things. However, in discussing the element as it relates to the soul, it is what lets Frisk (and quite possibly the other six souls at some point) reload after dying and reset the timeline if they wish to do so.

Here’s an overview of how i understand determination to work:

in a situation or environment that fills Frisk with the emotions and convictions of determination, this determination manifests itself as a physical thing called a save point

Accessing the save point and making use of that power, flavour text for the player provides a description of what filled Frisk with determination and they recover their HP. (determination has been shown to be able to recover HP. Consider dreams in the Asriel fight “through your DETERMINATION, the dream became true. HP maxed out.”)

Using the determination they access at this save point, they can SAVE their progress - a manifestation to their determination to continue on the path they are on (as it saves over any previous files)

They then continue on their way.

When they lose all their HP, their soul shatters and they hear Chara’s memory of Asgore speaking encouragement over their sick bed when they were dying. He specifically tells them they can’t give up, that this is all just a bad dream, and that they should stay determined. This is COMPLETELY personal interpretation but i like to think this is somehow Chara trying to communicate to Frisk through sharing memories to press on.

This reminds them of their determination and Frisk is given the option to continue.

By selecting to continue, their determination to survive brings them back to their last source of determined commitment to their progress (i.e. their save point). This brings everything about them, from their physical to soul-related properties, back to the state they were in when they SAVEd.

~I’m not going to go into quitting. Because that’s a topic for another day.~

Alphys also suggests it is the component of human souls that allows human souls to persist after death, whether this is true or not though is never confirmed.

~if it is it raises questions about how boss monsters persist... do they maybe have determination? Or perhaps Alphys was simply mistaken, assuming it was used for persisting when it actually allowed reloading instead~

---

Annd that’s everything. That i can think of. There’s probably more. If there is i’ll probably edit the original post. But that’s what i understand about souls haha.

And now that this is done i can go back to harmless lyric posts and continue writing my fanfiction because it sorta fell on hold i got so many theory concepts i wanted to back up while doing this lol.

#undertale #undertale trash #undertale theory #why'd i waste my time on this??#meh #atleast i had fun doing it #it raised more questions than answers really #and did you SEE those tangents i went on???#after i'd typed one or two i just decided to do personal notes raising the question and then just moved on #otherwise this thing could've taken weeks lol #i spent days of my life on this #atleast i somehow managed to write a theory without bringing soriel into it this time #dodged a bullet there #i mean #look how much i typed because i wanted to compare monster and human souls #imagine the essay that could be my soriel rant #it would be hell #essay

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realeconomicimpact · 8 years ago

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Let America Be America Again (By Darren Walker)

By Darren Walker, President, Ford Foundation

(reprinted with permission from the Ford Foundation)

Let America be America again. Let it be the dream it used to be. Let it be the pioneer on the plain Seeking a home where he himself is free. (America never was America to me.) Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed— Let it be that great strong land of love Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme That any man be crushed by one above. (It never was America to me.) – Langston Hughes, Let America Be America Again, 1936

In moments of uncertainty, we often return to familiar touchstones.

For me, one such anchor of comfort and clarity is the poetry of Langston Hughes, icon of the Harlem Renaissance.

During recent weeks, I’ve found myself ruminating on Hughes’s Let America Be America Again, especially its astonishing opening stanzas. In these ten lines, Hughes evokes the power of the American promise, coupled with the pain of indignity and inequality. He speaks to the complex mix of rage and hope, of anxiety and optimism, that characterizes the black experience in America—and which I would argue has characterized the experience of many Americans at some point, white, brown, black, indigenous, and immigrant. Over the past year, it has become clear that the noxious swill of rage and anxiety remains as potent as ever. Regardless of which side of the US election each of us was on, we all find ourselves living with a public discourse that has become increasingly callous, contemptuous, and polarizing. So, as we launch ourselves into a new year, I find myself reflecting on where we go from here—how we counterbalance anger and hopelessness with radical hope and optimism, and how we create, in Hughes’s perfectly-chosen words, “that great strong land of love” and dignity for all.

Two reactions to our current moment

Hughes’s poem captures a tension I’ve noticed in many of my daily interactions over the past several weeks, in all kinds of settings and among all kinds of people, including myself: a tension between a sense that our times are dangerously unprecedented, and a sense that while dangerous, they are all too familiar.

On the one hand, many of us feel that the world has been turned upside down. To read the headlines is to see an unfamiliar landscape in which several unsettling trends have converged. The proliferation of fake news and the prevalence of brazen falsehoods on air and online are undermining faith in basic facts. The bourgeoning democratic institutions that captured the imagination of Alexis de Tocqueville nearly 200 years ago—our civil society, our free press, our universities—are increasingly beleaguered and besieged. Rising hate speech and violence across the country has rightfully frightened many people. All of this constitutes an assault on what we thought were well-established societal norms.

On the other hand, some of us look to history and recognize that our current moment is not without precedent. To me, one clear parallel is America’s post-Reconstruction era in the South, when some Americans worked to roll back and repeal the hard-won voting rights, educational, and economic opportunities that brought freedom and dignity to the lives of so many of their fellow citizens.

Indeed, racism, sexism, xenophobia, and all kinds of othering are not new. Identity politics has always been a part of American life. Our founding fathers codified identity politics into our earliest documents, valuing the voices and contributions of white men above all others: Women were denied the right to vote; enslaved African Americans counted as three-fifths of a person; indigenous peoples were exploited and marginalized. And throughout our history, waves of immigrants from Europe and elsewhere were initially met with suspicion and often discrimination. It’s important to remember that over the course of our long, messy march towards justice, women and men—not just our predecessors, but we, the people, of every generation—have endured prejudice and persecution. We have seen it with our own eyes, and lived it in our own lives.

I’ll never forget coming of age as a gay man in the 1980s—watching AIDS ravage our community as politicians stayed silent. I’ll never forget the brutality of Apartheid, and how our own American government condemned Nelson Mandela, Oliver Tambo, and the freedom fighters seeking to end that unconscionable regime. I’ll never forget watching as the marches and protests unfolded in Ferguson in August of 2014, or standing with John Lewis on the Edmund Pettus Bridge a few months later, awestruck as he recounted the bloody Sunday in Selma fifty years earlier.

America’s rich and inspiring history has taught us that progress is not linear. As the dazzling Zadie Smith recently wrote, “progress is never permanent, will always be threatened, must be redoubled, restated, and reimagined if it is to survive.” So while these twin reactions—the sense that our moment is either unprecedented or has clear precedent —may seem at odds, they actually reaffirm a deeper understanding of the persistence of injustice in our world. They also remind us of the strength we must continue to find within ourselves to persevere and fight for our democratic institutions and ideals.

Confronting divisions, affirming dignity

Over the past three years, I’ve written about the ways inequality creates and exacerbates divisions. These include divisions of class, race, gender, identity, and ability, as well as differences in how we make sense of injustice in our lives.

There is no better illustration of this last category than the political binary of an election year, when our two-party system induces us to spend months defining our collective future in terms of us versus them, this stark choice versus that one. This rhetoric reinforces the notion of zero sum outcomes, and encourages us to believe that the gains of one happen at the expense of another.

We must resist this impulse. It is easy to lose sight of what we have in common, but the fact is that all of us share a fundamental human aspiration: to live in dignity. This is true no matter what we look like, where we live, how we worship, who we love, or what our abilities are. Whether by holding a decent-paying job, having agency in the decisions that affect us, or freely expressing our thoughts and creativity, we spend our lives in pursuit of dignity for ourselves and our families. Recognizing this universal quest for dignity is a prerequisite for any meaningful work toward social justice.

I am not suggesting that dignity is guaranteed. There are people and systems that seek to rob people of their innate dignity. They advance narratives that pit communities against one another—that permit some to falsely claim that the only way to ensure dignity for yourself is to strip it from others.

Of course, the dignity of one person does not preclude that of another. We can lift a poor Latina out of poverty and save a rural white man’s factory job. We can fight to protect black lives and the lives of the law enforcement officers who protect us. We can hold up a beacon of light for the “tempest-tost” refugees who seek safety and opportunity on our shores, and feel safe and secure in our neighborhoods and gathering places.

I’m not simply saying that we can do all of these things; I’m saying we must.

Our current context demands we question our assumptions and expand our understanding of who is vulnerable and excluded. If inequality fuels the fault lines of division, then our shared pursuit of dignity must help bridge the gaps. To borrow a phrase from the brilliant artist Lilla Watson, our liberation is bound up together.

The path forward: “America will be!”

It might be tempting to ignore or abandon the mutual obligation that ties us together, to embrace a kind of nihilism of indifference or, worse, to retreat into anxiety or rage. But we can choose a better path forward. With history as our guide, we can follow a path of hope—radical hope.

For Langston Hughes, born in 1902, the gap between America’s promise and its practices was wide. The great-grandchild of slaves on one side and slaveholders on the other—the child of educators and organizers—Hughes lived a life that demonstrated that the overwhelming fact of injustice does not obviate or relieve in any way our responsibility to act against it. He showed that a person can simultaneously feel righteous anger about the world and radical optimism for it. We must affirm the creed to which he gave voice, that the work of creating the America we envision requires optimism and resolve.

“America never was America to me,” Hughes wrote in the penultimate stanza of his masterpiece. “And yet I swear this oath—America will be!”

For as much progress as we have made, America has yet to fully live up to its promise and founding aspiration to be a nation of liberty, dignity, and justice for all. Yet this noble vision remains as profound as ever.

At the Ford Foundation, our commitment to achieving this vision will not change. We resolve to continue fostering a fairer, more just America and world. We remain steadfast and unyielding in our support of the institutions and leaders fighting injustice and addressing inequality of every kind and category. And we are grateful for your leadership—and partnership—during the critical months and years ahead.

Please visit the Ford Foundation website for more information about the organization and its work.

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equalrightsforfathers · 8 years ago

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Seeking no more and no less than legal equality and genuine equity under the law

If you are facing Family Court Abuse and Children Protection Services Agency: CPS-DFYS / DCP&P / DCF / DHHS [whatever name CPS is called in your state] is involved in your case please join us to help defeat their fraud, pain and suffering, emotional, physical, psychological and financial abuse -racket.

United we can! This is NOT Fathers Rights groups but FAMILIES fighting together the system. There are woman and men protecting our children's future that understand that Judges are destroying us all for money.

Men's Rights Internet Statement

– Living Document Born March 2013

General

principles that we believe are a forming, coalescing consensus.

A working group formed in December of 2012 through a variety of men’s rights publications, forums, and YouTube channels. Over four dozen people from around the globe participated in making suggestions and giving general input. Despite the large number of people from diverse backgrounds, and the fact that almost none of the participants knew most of the others, its development was shockingly un-contentious, even on some of the more contentious points.

This is not a document anyone is expected to sign or pledge to. It is an effort to identify a general consensus.

This document is not released with the intention being the definitive statement of goals for all men's advocates, but rather, a set of goals and ideas that we believe represent common sentiments within the movement. People will be free to agree with all of these, most of these, some of these, or only one of these; if they'll work with us on any of them, then we'll work with them on that. Furthermore, other groups are welcome to take these goals and adapt and change them for their own purposes.

The gender war is a destructive social construct. Viewing the other sex as an enemy to be fought, or an oppressor to be overthrown, does not benefit men or women. Only a select few will profit from the hostility and distrust this creates. The interests of both men and women are best served by ending the gender war, and to working together to alleviate the iniquities visited upon all human beings, regardless of sex.

Feminism is not necessarily what feminists say it is

Many prominent individuals who self-identify as feminists espouse ideals of equality and equity, but often act against an ethic of equality under the law. For this reason, many men’s advocates have come to the conclusion that feminist activism is dependent on identifying women as victims and men as perpetrators of oppression. While those not solidly entrenched in the day to day gender struggle tend to think “feminism is about equality,” professionals at universities, in government, and in political action groups often act against legal equality and genuine equity through their decisions and actions--and do so in the name of feminism.

Furthermore, anyone genuinely working under the “feminism is about equality” mentality should be natural allies in the collective fight for men's rights. But those feminists with actual power frequently endorse and exploit sexist ideas in order to promote their divisive ideology, and to raise money, and dismiss, marginalize, or outright mock men’s issues, occasionally even with violence.

For these reasons, self described feminists should not necessarily be considered de-facto experts on what constitutes gender equity. Men's voices must be heard, even if women aren't always comfortable with what they hear.

Traditionalism is a choice, not an obligation

No one can speak for all men's advocates, but most try to be accurate, objective, and honest about masculinity and femininity. They recognize that men and women are different, but they don’t want to promote discrimination, stereotypes, or prejudices that would limit anyone’s ability to exercise their own ability and talent.

Chivalry, a concept in which men have a social obligation to put their interests below women's, is common in many countries. Failure to adhere to this code can result in significant social backlash against men. We reject a code that ascribes greater value to one sex or the other. When men's advocates attempt to describe differences between the sexes, they are not trying to prescribe them. Men's human rights advocates look to the future, they don’t cling to the past, and they agree that your genitals should not determine your lifestyle or your rights. If you want to be a traditionalist, be one. If you don’t, that’s fine too.

Misandry is real, and pernicious

Most

respected dictionaries now recognize that misandry - the hatred or contempt of male humans - is a real word. Some gender ideologues continue to insist that misandry does not and cannot exist, but MRAs, by and large, understand that misandry is real, and is being used to strip men and boys of basic human rights and dignity. Misandric messages invalidate boys and men by telling them that they are guilty by association to all the harmful acts committed by other men, for no other reason than that they are male, but ignoring the corresponding association to positive acts by other men, of discovery, invention, daring, bravery, sacrifice, loyalty, love, and kindness. Misandric messages also tend to ignore negative and harmful actions by women. In general, misandry tells men and boys that part of what defines who they are, their very identity as male, is something dangerous and shameful. These messages are culturally toxic and psychologically harmful to men and boys.

Men

deserve the right to dignity, just as much as women. Men deserve the same right as women to not be associated with despicable actions simply because they were committed by members of their sex. Men’s rights advocates agree that misandry is real, and that it should not be tolerated any more than isogyny would be, and have taken on the responsibility for acknowledging, exposing, and opposing misandry. Because if they don’t do it, then who else will?

Strong, independent women are helpful, not helpless

Most men's human rights advocates love seeing strong, capable, and independent women as part of society. But they are disappointed to see the rise of idealized, infantilized, sheltered, and fearful women. Men's human rights advocates understand that power and authority should come with responsibility and accountability.

Rewards come with risks: if you take credit then you should also accept blame. If you criticize, then you should also be able to accept criticism. Making excuses for bad behavior by women, or blaming it on men, is condescending. Women who want equality should speak out against such attitudes and behaviors. The only way people experience personal growth is through life experience and our present society stunts women’s growth b coddling them.

Men's rights advocates object to feminism’s narrow focus on women’s problems and fears, and to feminism’s track record of treating human issues as divisive gender issues. Men's advocates object to gynocentrism (focusing only on the female perspective) and female supremacism. We respect skill and maturity, regardless of whether the person is male or female.

General Men’s Rights Movement Goals

When it comes to men’s activism, some have already decided that their role will mostly be passive: become Men Going Their Own Way, by refusing to participate in marriage or even cohabitation with the opposite sex, or otherwise defining their own lives outside the dominant gender discourse, and nothing more. This is fine, as we are all free to make our own choices as to what role(s) we would like to play.

Others feel that "defeating feminism" is the only goal. Our view is that even without feminism, many of the problems we face would remain.

As in any movement there will be people with significant influence and authority even if this authority is informal. Who these people are will change constantly. As a result “We” can just mean “I.” There is nothing preventing you from deciding to care about one of these items, or three of them, or half of them, or all of them. The point is, they are goals not dogma.

Some of the goals for the men's movement are (in no particular order):

We stand for all boys and men. Questions of race, creed, color, nationality or sexual orientation are completely irrelevant to us. This is non-negotiable: we are a movement for the needs, well-being and interests of all men and boys everywhere, seeking no more and no less than legal equality and/or genuine equity under the law.

We are a human rights movement, and as such concepts of universal human rights are a part of that movement. Addressing the needs of men and boys is not a zero-sum game. Our focus is on men and boys because we believe men and boys are in particular need of help at this time.

We have no interest in legally denying anyone the right to control their reproduction; however we seek equitable reproductive rights for all persons regardless of sex. As a movement we believe no one should be forced into parenthood by the state or another individual, and that sexual intercourse is not consent to parenthood. As such, mothers seeking arbitration from the courts in order to collect child support from a man she names the father should be required to submit a written instrument of consent signed by him, in which he explicitly accepts responsibility for, as well as defines his rights to, his child/ren. This will allow him to positively establish paternity through a DNA test before signing and allow both mother and father to define the rights and responsibilities of both parties rather than allowing the state to do so. Furthermore, if a mother conceals a pregnancy and subsequent birth from a father and he learns of this afterward without being given the opportunity to negotiate parenthood with the mother then he should have redress to obtain paternal rights and responsibilities.

Development and availability of a male fertility control device, drug or method that is safe, affordable, effective and reversible should be a top priority.

Paternity testing should be a standard practice when a father is added to a birth certificate or otherwise formally (legally) recognized as the child’s father. Where there is a willfully false claim of paternity, prosecution should occur.

If a woman opts to give up a child for adoption, all reasonable efforts must be made to allow the father the option of being that child’s sole parent before the child can be given over to any adoption agency.

Women are frequently pedestalized, and men demonized, when it comes to criminal arrest, conviction, and sentencing. This is an injustice against men and infantilizes women. Laws and legal practices and customs which establish lighter or heavier sentences based on sex should be abolished.

Foster the emergence of a new cultural narrative where all men and women are encouraged to live their lives as they see fit, without preferential treatment, while also being expected to bear the responsibility for their personal choices.

Default physical and legal co-parenting must be the norm where both parents are competent, willing, and do not endanger the child’s physical or mental well being. We wish to promote a narrative of recognizing fair custody arrangements towards fathers as an important issue, both in terms of fair treatment of fathers, and as being in the best interest of all children's healthy development and quality of life. In divorce or separation of non-married parents, daily contact with both parents, and living arrangements which strive to be as close as practical to 50/50 time with both parents, should be the norm.

If there is strong evidence that children shouldn’t be with one or both parents, regular review of the conditions for access and visitation should occur to recognize that circumstances can and do change; the child’s right to both parents must be protected unless one or both has given up the child for adoption (i.e. legal surrender).

False and malicious accusations of rape or other violence, when they can be distinguished from mistaken accusations, must be subject to strict penalty under law. Laws against lying under oath or wasting time (of the police or courts) must be enacted where there are no such laws in place, and/or enforced without gender bias where they do exist.

The presumption of innocence must be seen as a fundamental right for anyone accused of any crime and restored to anyone accused of domestic violence or any form of assault, sexual or otherwise. So-called “rape shield” laws must either be extended to cover the accused as well as the accuser, or abolished entirely.

Debtor’s prison has been abolished in most civilized nations except in one crucial area: men who are unable to pay support payments due to disability or other impoverishment. This practice must be abolished, and debts owed due to support must be treated like any other debt to be paid, and subject to reasonable negotiation and renegotiation when circumstances do not make payment of support practical. Throwing men in jail for being unable to pay not only violates their fundamental human rights; it often robs children of their fathers and leaves those fathers unable to work to pay the debts they owe. This is an abomination and must be ended.

We seek to promote social recognition that men can be victims and women can be sex offenders, and that statements which belittle or marginalize the experiences of male victims of sexual assault, including male victims of female sex predators, are likely based on a worldview that pedastalizes women and demonizes men. Such attitudes are hateful and toxic, and must be opposed.

Standards for what constitutes illegal violence - domestic, sexual, or otherwise - should not discriminate on account of sex or such things as size or weight. Violence is violence. Assault is assault. Sexual assault is sexual assault. The law must be neutral regarding sexual characteristics or physical traits. Zero tolerance policies which fail to differentiate between a heated argument and a crime must be abolished. Mandatory arrest policies must either be abolished or must treat both parties as potential co-criminals and both parties should be arrested. So-called “primary aggressor” policies which presuppose the existence of one “victim” and one “abuser” have been repeatedly shown to be wrong in most cases, and should be abolished as standing policy.

Mandatory restraining orders which isolate and intimidate couples who wish to communicate and cooperate with each other must be recognized as damaging, and the law must be made to recognize that such orders may damage career and reputations and as such should be expungeable if found to be fraudulently or frivolously obtained, or no longer needed.

Abuse of restraining orders by anyone seeking to use them as a weapon to deny access to children or gain an upper hand in divorce or custody disputes should not only be recognized, but subject to penalty under law.

Policies which allow alleged victims to be punished for refusing to cooperate with prosecution must be abolished.

Financial incentives for prosecution of any crime by the state must be abolished.

In divorce or separation of non-married parents, efforts should to be made to promote mediation and solutions that do not involve the court or other state agencies wherever possible.

Recognizing that marriage cannot be abolished by the state, because cohabiting persons will still have disputes over children and finances if they separate, “marriage” should be viewed as an enforceable contract. Couples wishing to marry should be allowed to negotiate what their marriage contracts involve to include issues such as child custody, any theoretical support, education, support payments in case of severance, and so on. Marriages are agreements between people, and contracts should spell out specifically what is and is not agreed to. In the absence of a formal contract, presumption of shared parenting must be enforced as noted above.

Any government funding towards health research and services, should such funding exist, should be allocated in a way that gives equal and fair consideration to the health needs of men, women, and children, recognizing that while maternal health influences the health of both boys and girls in the future generations, so too the health needs of boys and men should be recognized as equally important to all of society. We may argue later whether or how much government should spend on public health measures; in the meantime, men and boys must be given equal consideration under the law when there is such funding.

Government-funded educational programs (such as scholarships), if they exist, should either do away with preferential treatment by sex, or, be expanded to include programs to encourage males to enter fields where they are under-represented and or continue their education as they see it. One way or the other, the double standards in education must end.

Abolish medically unnecessary genital mutilation or surgery on infants and minors. If a person wishes to have their genitals altered, they may make this decision when they come of age.

There are documented and growing gender disparities in education with boys in particular lagging behind girls in multiple areas across much of the developed world. This must be addressed directly by looking at areas where boys as a group may have different educational needs from girls, and where teachers may be discriminating against boys consciously or unconsciously. Conscription or registration for conscription (“selective service”) must either be abolished or be an equal requirement for both sexes. One or the other…

We are under no illusion that all of these items will be automatically accepted overnight by everyone in the world, nor even that every men's advocate will necessarily agree with every word here. Nevertheless we believe it represents a road-map to a better future, and hope others will join, in whole or in part, in helping make these things happen.

This document last revised 3/11/2013. It is now considered “final,” although others remain free to copy and use it to their own purposes. However, modified copies must be clearly marked as modified from this original. Further discussion and debate is not only allowed, it is encouraged!

The initiator and primary editor of this document was Dean Esmay, who is solely responsible for any errors, omissions, or oversights. Others who wish to be identified as having given suggestions, input, or other collaboration should contact the author and let him know if they want to be publicly acknowledged.

3/13/2013: minor typo fixed, “deciding care” changed to “deciding to care,” removal of unneeded colon and a couple of unneeded periods in titles.

3/17/2013: Stray HTML tags that crept into the original removed. Addition of numbers to each of the goal statements, not for priority purposes but solely to make them easy to distinguish in discussion.

4/3/2013: Removed stray tag.

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operationrainfall · 6 years ago

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Title Luminous Avenger iX Developer Inti Creates Publisher Inti Creates Release Date September 26th, 2019 Genre Action platformer Platform PC, Nintendo Switch, PS4, Xbox One Age Rating T for Teen – Blood, Fantasy Violence, Language, Suggestive Themes, Use of Tobacco Official Website

I’ve been a fanboy on the Gunvolt bandwagon long before Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX. Not only did I play the first two games, but I also reviewed them both on the site. So in case there was any concern about my credibility talking about the series, let’s put that to rest. The initial question I had when I heard about Luminous Avenger iX was how far after the second game it took place. As I played, other significant questions came up, though there’s not much I can discuss for fear of spoilers. That said, I will do my best to touch upon those issues for other fans, as well as tackling the gameplay itself. While I’m still a fan of the Gunvolt series after Luminous Avenger iX, there’s also a few bumps in the road I need to address.

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As I stated above, it’s unclear how long after Gunvolt 2’s events that Luminous Avenger iX takes place, but things have definitely taken on new urgency. Now, Adepts are completely in power, and go so far as to hunt down and execute un-powered humans, referred to as Minos. Whereas I used to think of the Azure Striker Gunvolt series as a nod to Mega Man, now I can’t help but notice the similarity to the X-Men. In a way it’s a reverse of that comic series, a world where the super powered rule over the weak with cruelty. At the head of this dynamic is the Sumeragi Institute for the Promotion of Human Evolution, which is a group that should sound familiar to fans of the games. It’s not clear how this came to be, nor where Gunvolt himself is, but Copen’s not about to sit back and watch this atrocity continue. While his primary goal is to find the source of something called the Butterfly Effect, he also elects to protect a group of young street urchin Minos. Despite his often caustic and emotionless exterior, I found this was consistent with his personality. After all, he himself is technically a Mino, and his hatred has always been against Adepts. The key difference between him and your average Mino is his technical genius, which let him build Lola to copy and utilize Septima powers through mechanical means.

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Much like Inti did with previous series such as Mega Man Zero, each installment of the Gunvolt games has become slightly less hardcore and more welcoming to players of various experience levels. That is true in Luminous Avenger iX. An example of this is that the game has gotten rid of individual achievements. You still get graded after each level, so worry not if you’re a hardcore completionist. It’s just now you don’t have to worry about satisfying other arbitrary requests. Much like the last game, I found it somewhat easier to get a good score than in the original Gunvolt game, but not so easy I ever felt I wasn’t working for it. I got plenty of B’s, a few A’s and even one shining S+. The reason it’s still a challenge is that the gameplay is pretty similar to the most recent game, meaning that the bosses are still quite challenging.

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In case you need a refresher course, the game keeps the trend of tagging and then blasting foes. For Copen, you tag foes by literally dashing into them. You have a small window of invincibility when you connect, so you’re encouraged to be aggressive, but don’t be so aggressive you accidentally wander into enemy fire. When you tag a foe, it uses up a Bullit, of which you have 3. Once you’re out of Bullits, your Prevasion turns off, meaning you can take damage again. So combat is a tight balance of dashing into foes, hitting them with homing rounds, avoiding getting hit and rinsing and repeating. One nice new change is if you reload your Bullits in mid-air, you’ll charge down to the ground with a crash capable of breaking objects. Though you’ll have to be careful using it, since if you don’t land on solid ground, it’s game over.

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I’ve said previously how much I enjoy playing as Copen, and that’s still true. He’s fast, furious and frankly brutal. Coupled with Lola’s Septima EX weapons, he’s a veritable Swiss Army Knife of mayhem. Even then, playing him requires great reflexes and better strategy, especially against the bosses. One thing that’s changed from previous games is Copen can’t use credits to buy new active combat abilities. There is a Customize screen, where you can buy things like additional Bullits. You can also buy passive modifiers, such as Regenerator, which restores Copen’s health when he uses his SP Skill, or OD Guard Up, which halves damage when in Overdrive mode. If I sound a bit uncertain about these, it’s cause I didn’t purchase any of them during my playthrough. I like playing a game in as pure a form as possible, and for me that meant learning to master Copen without any extra helping hand. That said, if you’re the sort that likes to tinker, there’s a multitude of options for you to try out. If you’re feeling brave, you can also try out Lola’s new Darkness Trigger, which puts her in berserk mode, attacking with random EX skills until her meter depletes.

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While the combat is most definitely one of the biggest draws in Luminous Avenger iX, it would be meaningless without exhilarating boss fights. This game assuredly carries on that tradition, as it does the pattern of having 7 main Adept bosses you confront. While I normally don’t cover these in detail, I feel I should touch upon all seven Falcons real quick. First let’s talk about Rebellio. He’s on death row for crimes he committed, and Sumeragi decides to offer him a deal – kill Copen and live. His Septima is Energy Wool, which lets him create crimson constructs out of thin air, such as mace balls, gatling guns and more. As for his appearance, he looks like nothing so much as a very angry Ram. Then there’s Crimm, a psychopath who loves explosions and considers himself an artist. His Detonation Septima lets him rain pure destruction wherever he desires, gesturing with crustacean limbs while protected by a circular shield. Then there’s Stella. She may look like a floozy and talk like a sailor, but she’s actually the president of an electronics manufacturer. Her Septima is Gravity, which not only gives her the power to alter your movement, but to also manifest dangerous buzzsaws and energy beams. Of all the Adepts in this game, her transformation is the most mechanical, making her look like a living blade.

More Falcons on Page 2 ->

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If you think Stella’s a hard case, then you should see her android manservant, Dystnine. He’s the only robot capable of using Septima, other than Lola, and his is particularly strange. His transformation makes him look like a mix between a unicorn and a bullfighter, and his Vectored Cloth Septima allows for some very interesting tricks, such as blocking attacks and tangling you up. Beyond just being a skilled fighter, he’s also completely loyal to Stella, to almost a romantic degree. Or take one of my personal favorites, Isola, who is essentially an evil Idol. Think Hatsune Miku but pink and insane, and you’re on the right track. Her Septima is Companion, and while you might not think she’s that dangerous, you’d better watch out before Isola shatters you with bright pink lights and holograms. If you feel like a tough guy, you can try on Bakto for size. He’s essentially a Yakuza boss, and his Spiral Septima turns him into a fierce, blue lion man. Lastly, there’s Blade. Blade is incredibly powerful, and doubly so when outraged and in berserk mode. Unlike the other Falcons, Blade seems to not be entirely in control of their actions. But don’t let that lower your defenses, since you’ll need all your skills to beat this recurring boss character.

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Frankly, I really enjoyed all the Falcons in the game, and felt they added a lot of personality and depth to the story. Especially since they reveal how diabolical Sumeragi has become. Most of the Falcons are only working for Sumeragi cause they’re forced to. Hell, Rebellio is on death row unless he can finish the job. Despite being in power, this shows how out of control and desperate they have become, a fact which becomes painfully apparent very late in the game. I can’t say why, but once you find out the truth behind the Butterfly Effect, you’ll hate Sumeragi with a burning passion. And by the very end of the game, you’ll question a good many things about the Gunvolt universe.

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As much as I loved the Falcons, I’m not sure I can say the same for all the Minos. They’re all adorable, especially self proclaimed pixie leader, Kohaku, but they just don’t feel that relevant in the game. Sure, Kohaku and her history serves a purpose, but the rest of them kind of feel like kawaii Charles Dickens knockoffs. Maybe if they got a bit more development I wouldn’t feel that way, but frankly I feel this is a pattern in the Gunvolt series. We get introduced to a new band of side characters each time, and very few of them actually matter. Which is a shame, since there’s so much I otherwise enjoy about the games.

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Visually, I can easily say Luminous Avenger iX is the most beautiful game in the series. Everything is bold, colorful and full of detail. Though I would never call the original 3DS graphics ugly, everything is so much better on Switch. Even the menus are attractive, and I really like the portrait art as well. As for the sound design, it’s also fantastic. The music is dynamic and draws you in, and the sound effects pop with personality. One of my favorite changes here is that now dialogue happens at set points in the level, and NEVER during combat. This is such a great improvement, and shows Inti Creates listens to fan feedback. It doesn’t hurt that all the voice actors in this game are tremendously talented. If we were grading this game just on the artistry, it would easily get a perfect score.

I know typos happen, but they still take me out of the experience…

Sadly, there are a few areas I feel Luminous Avenger iX falls short. Firstly, it really bothers me that I’m not sure if this game has different endings, as is tradition. While I can’t go into reasons why this bothers me, suffice it to say that some of the late game revelations really have me scratching my head. I would almost go so far as to suspect this game takes place in an alternate universe, it’s that big. But without knowing that for sure, it’s hard to ascertain how much I enjoyed the story at large. Another area that my lack of clarity irritated me was with the Bonus Medals. There’s 4 in each stage, and I’d love to tell you what they do, but I have no idea. While it’s true I did apparently unlock some Special Missions at some point in the game, I’m pretty sure that had nothing to do with the Medals. A more substantial gripe I have is with the translation. I usually don’t point out this sort of thing in the games I’m fond of, but it’s unavoidable here. Not only do some characters have very awkward grammatical flubs, there’s also some weird Westernization that occurs. I mentioned Bakto early, and how he’s essentially a Yakuza boss. I said “essentially” since in the game, he’s called a Mafia boss. Problem is, everything about him screams Yakuza, from his name to his demeanor. This wouldn’t bother me, except for the fact Inti Creates usually waves their Japan flag pretty high and proud. It just struck me as awkward to change that sort of thing, especially since fans of the series can tell what’s up. Lastly, a recurring issue I have is with the leveling system. It still feels too passive and unnecessary to me. It’d be one thing if leveling up did more than increase your base health, such as opening up modifiers you can equip or something. As it is, I just don’t feel that’s necessary at all for a game this fast paced and frenetic.

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I did truly enjoy Luminous Avenger iX, but I can’t help but feel it wasn’t consistently awesome in every regard. The plot left more questions than it answered, and while the combat was definitely a lot of fun, I wanted more of it. Perhaps that’s because the last game had two protagonists instead of just one, but regardless there should have been something more to keep me playing. I managed to beat the entire game in a little over 3 hours, though I spent another 2 and change to try and find a secret ending. While I didn’t succeed in unlocking any new endings, there is still a bit of replay value. Those who like to tinker can unlock a lot of customization options, and truly hardcore fans can try and get an S+ for each stage. There’s also the aforementioned Special Missions, which are basically remixed forms of stages with harder boss fights. For $14.99, you still get an amazing game with Luminous Avenger iX. I just hope that the next adventure does more to explain the setting of this title, as well as to expand on the areas the series already excels.

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[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4″]

Review Copy Provided by Publisher

REVIEW: Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX Title Luminous Avenger iX

#Azure Strike Gunvolt #Gunvolt Chronicles #Inti Creates #Luminous Avenger iX #oprainfall #PC #PS4 #Switch #Xbox One

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jillmckenzie1 · 7 years ago

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How I Got Out of My Toxic Relationship

It’s 2:01am. And, I want to go to sleep. Truly, I do. But, my mind is mulling over the current state of affairs in the Supreme Court nominations. I spent the better part of this afternoon really listening to the testimonies of both Christine Blasey Ford and Brett Kavanaugh.

But, let me be clear, this post has nothing to do with politics.

No, this story is about a 34-year-old female who is finding herself inside a conversation that is questioning whether or not women are truthful when it comes to explicating their experiences. And, be it good or bad, I am now finding a way to attach conscious thoughts to emotions that I felt two, five, ten years ago. Because, what is resonating with me so clearly right now is the word “embarrassed.” Women have chosen silence for fear of not being taken seriously, for fear of being wrong, for fear of saying something that the world may perceive as being different than what is actually true.

So, at 2:01am (make it 2:04am), I’m being smacked in the face by two distinct realizations.

One. We, as humans, love to create stories around how, we think, other people are receiving our humanness. These metaperceptions are generally tainted by our own view of ourselves and our inept ability to reason that no two people in this world think exactly the same way; therefore, our claim that “most people” will feel a certain way about our actions is not founded in any truth. And, worst of all, it silences us from sharing the most authentic version of ourselves and chasing our happiest state of existence because we decide the outcome of a choice before giving ourselves an

opportunity to actually experience it.

Two. There is a deep running understanding in our society that men’s overall treatment of women is poor, but silently accepted. My evidence for this statement is visible in the language that most, if not all, of my male friends use when they speak of having children: “If I ever have a daughter, I’m never letting her leave the house” or “I hope I have a son so that I only have to worry about one male; if I have a daughter, then I have to worry about all males.” Yes, there is a reason for the adage of “daddy’s girl,” but I want to suggest that there is something much deeper happening here, and that depth exists because I spent 99.9% of my current life being completely unphased by such irrational statements. I smiled and I nodded because I, too, would deductively reason the same ideology. Because, gawd, yes, being a woman is really fucking hard sometimes. But, for adults to be able to verbalize that they don’t want to raise girls because they don’t want to carry those girls’ burdens, which are completely centered on how males treat them, is worthy of our analysis and attention. Most importantly, it is worthy of us doing something to change that stigma.

Side note. I have never been a man, so yes, the above comments are jaded by my own bias. And, this is not all to say that women don’t do shitty things. Because, wow, we do some crappy stuff, people. What I’m attempting to do is articulate my experience. I am trying to give a voice to my testimony. Because, for a long time, I willingly bit my tongue. Out of insecurity. Out of fear. I was in constant pursuit of affirmation that what I was experiencing was real. That I was really hurting. That my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. And, if it were true that I was really hurting, then I wanted affirmation that I had a viable reason to hurt. That I wasn’t being soft. Or irrational. Or stupid.

So, I want to unpack a relationship from my life that, for many years, brought me a lot of shame. I want to stand here without reservation to exist only inside of this story long enough to tell it and then also to acknowledge that I was able to walk away from it a far better person for having been there.

Observation Point (Zion National Park)

Let’s begin. If one could earn points in dating, I’m quite convinced I would be in the negatives. I just do not have the genetic makeup or the desire to play the games that, it seems, are characteristic to successful courtship. I operate in two speeds in every facet of my life, and the same is true for people. If I like you, I will love you. If I love you, I will ride or die with you. This ladder is not exclusive to romantic relationships, and I must clarify that I am inclined to have three deep relationships in my life than to have 30 acquaintances. If given a choice, I’ll take depth over breadth. On the flipside, if I don’t like you, I will waste no time with you. Literally. Zero time. So, I repeat, I suck at dating. I fall hard. Or, I peace out quickly. And, a year ago, I would have felt a need to apologize for that. But, I have learned that an apology is altogether unnecessary. I am allowed to be this way because this way is not wrong. The other way is not right. I must simply be conscious of this quality and recognize where I am open to get hurt myself and to hurt other people.

I wish I had gleaned this awareness much earlier on in life, but I suppose this is the joy of aging. If you follow me on Instagram, then you know that I talk a lot about having been in a toxic marriage. I also talk a lot about being out of a toxic marriage. While the vulnerability piece does not intimidate me, I often find it hard to shed light on the actions. For a long time, I struggled to use words like “domestic violence” because I had convinced myself that I needed two black eyes in order to bear this cross.

I am here to tell you that you do not, in fact, have to suffer from any type of physical abuse to be a victim in your relationship. In fact, I recall many nights where I begged for a swift right hook to the face if only to make the verbal abuse end.

And, at this point, we should probably go back to the beginning. When he and I played on the same co-ed indoor soccer team, and we’d all go drink beers after our games, and he’d always offer to be my chauffer. I wasn’t in a place in my life to have a serious relationship. Without turning this into a 5000-word diatribe, I will admit that I had recently been divorced. Yes, I got married when I was freshly 21-years-old to a guy in the military who convinced me that it would be a financially smart decision (don’t do this, ladies). Our hot mess college relationship translated into a hot mess marriage, and we were divorced within the year. In all sincerity, it feels like so many lives ago that I barely even recognize it as being a part of my story, but I also know that we were incredibly immature and lacked nearly every possible tool to “make it” (as they say).

For clarification, this guy will not be referenced further, and any mention of my ex-husband will be directly related to soccer guy from the beginning of the previous paragraph.

Said soccer player was also not in a position for a relationship. He was living in Colorado for work with every intention of one day moving back to Ohio to be near his family. So, I moved to Portland for a job, and six months later he moved back to Louisville for work. I didn’t think we’d speak again (for the record, these are always the famous last words).

We didn’t speak. For about six months. But, he slowly crept back into my inbox (I’m going to age myself and point out that “sliding into the DMs” was not yet a thing). At the end of the school year (hashtag, teacher life) I moved to Kentucky. He immediately prefaced my move with the statement, “I can’t call you my girlfriend.” Perfect. Great. We’ve just been talking every day for the last six months. That makes sense. His inability to commit all along should have been the only red flag that I ever needed, but my damn diehard personality (coupled with my 20-something naiveté) would not let it go.

So, this dance continued for over two years in the Bluegrass State. I became super close with his family, and we honored the fact that they were very religious and did not believe that living together was socially acceptable. We hung out every night, but there were times when I wouldn’t stay with him, and while I believed at that point that he partied a little too hard for his own good, I wrote it off to the fact that he grew up in a strict household and never drank until he was 21-years-old.

It’s a phase, I said. It will pass, I said.

When we got married, I was really exposed to another side of him that I had only glimpsed in our dating life. And, before I even fast forward to this whole marriage status, I want to point out that I clearly felt in my heart that I was making the wrong choice the day that I walked down the aisle. Yes. Nothing sat well with me in the months leading up to this spectacle. But, I had already said yes, and the invitations were sent, and people had RSVP’d, and then, fuck, they were all sitting right there waiting for some grandiose entrance from yours truly. I didn’t want to let anyone down.

Hear that. At the cost of my own life, I created a story of what people would think about me if I backed out on such a commitment, so I followed through because I assumed that the story that they created would paint me in a negative light.

As imagined, it was never what I wanted or needed it to be. We immediately started going to counseling. Our therapist fired him because she said he had a drinking problem that she was not expertly trained to handle. He chastised me for continuing to go see someone who was dumber than him. I went to Al-Anon. I worked the twelve steps. I found a mentor. I begged him to get help.

And, again, I struggled with defining a word that carried so much weight: alcoholism. He was successful. He was well-liked. He didn’t wake up slinging booze from the side of his bedstand.

No. It was a silent fall. It was the seventh shot of Fireball at 1:37am, already eight beers deep, where his eyes would glaze over, and I would quietly hug myself on the walk home in fear of saying just one wrong thing. Because, I had learned that to fight this beast in its natural element was nothing short of a recipe for pure terror. I stopped feeling. I stopped going out altogether. I stopped drinking. Because, how can you beg someone to stop doing something that you are, in fact, doing yourself? Most importantly, I needed control of my every breathe. There was not a single moment that I could lapse on my judgment.

Because, when I lapsed, when I lost my patience or wisdom or sanity, I would unfurl every ounce of pain that was hiding under my skin. I would scream and cry out for every city street that I had ever walked home alone: Nashville, Louisville, San Diego, Cabo San Lucas, Chicago, Nasau, Denver. I can’t recall a single city we visited together that doesn’t also have a story about my 3:00am lost and lonely trek back to a hotel that I managed to find through only a decent sense of direction. And, the screaming and the crying that would seep from my pores would be met with the hatred as deep as the Devil.

Like that one night in December. After the Justin Timberlake concert. When he, at first, wouldn’t let me up the stairs to go to bed. I was actually so scared that I ran into the guest room on the first floor and hid under the flimsy covers of the bed, hugging the dog for dear life as if she could transport me anywhere but there. Unfortunately, despite childhood dreams, covers do not make one invisible. So, he came in screaming, violently pointing his finger over top of me in between my beady eyes. And, I knew I couldn’t cry. Because, I needed every ounce of my own strength to prevent a complete downward spiral into my own oblivion. And, I ran up the stairs, hoping to lock myself in our room (a tactic that I knew would fail) as he forced me into the laundry room. He stared at me with his hollow soul and silently begged for me to cower in the corner. I did not. I pleaded for him to hit me, to give physical pain to the words that were cutting into any ounce of dignity that still existed inside of me. Instead, he slid his hands around my throat. He locked my neck inside of his fingers and pressed me firmly against the wall. He reminded me of all the money that he had made, money that didn’t belong to me, while I pathetically lived in the house that only he could afford. Yes, he reminded me. And, I flung my fists with every attempt to kill until he finally let me go. The next morning, he’d apologize. Like he always did. And, I’d remember that I’m poor. And, I’d be embarrassed that I was weak. And, I’d teach myself not to feel. I’d teach myself to be invisible.

I finally stopped going out altogether. I became a recluse. I lived out the daily façade of having my life put together in my perfect neighborhood. Meanwhile, I was dead. And, for six months (that I know of), he was having an affair with a woman who worked under him. Ironically, I learned about this relationship after leaving him, which oddly brings me a small sense of joy.

I left him because of me, not him.

I looked back on my life in a single moment with him and realized that we had done nothing to grow for 365 days. We weren’t becoming better together, which translated into us not becoming better individuals. I couldn’t sit with that. I finally stopped listening to the voice that told me everyone would judge me so critically for being divorced. I knew that my fear of turning 50 and waking up to someone who caused me so much internal pain, coupled with the fact that I refused to procreate with such an individual and yet I wanted kids, meant making the harder choice between two hard choices.

In all sincerity, I often ask myself, how the hell did I get out of that mess? I’ve come to see this moment of my life a lot like a car accident. It is paradoxically fast and slow. And, I am overwhelmed by people who seek me out for guidance in this stage of life, married or not. I’ve come to believe that getting out of a toxic relationship is as gradual of a process as getting into one. And, I’m awake at what is now 2:58am, because my story matters. Christine Blasey Ford’s story matters. Your story matters. Because, it’s not okay. It was never okay.

I’ve spent over two years reintroducing myself to myself. Yes, reintroducing myself to myself. Because I wanted to be alive. I tried new things, things that I had expressed interest in but didn’t ring true when I was in the relationship, things that I ignored because he made me think that I wasn’t “that kind of person.”

I leaned on my friends and family. I learned to not make up people’s stories for them. Often times, when we are in toxic relationships, the closest people to us are fully aware of our circumstance. And, we will frequently verbalize that we need to leave or that we’re going to leave. But, we do not. Because, staying is easy. Even when it’s hard. Leaving is fucking hard. Even when it seems easy. So, if you’ve tried to leave this person before and you’ve gone back, the trust with your support system may be weak. I have learned to never underestimate your vulnerability. If you show people you want help (even if it is again), you might be surprised.

As expected, I took trips alone. Even when it was scary. Because I really knew that the only way I would be ready for another relationship would be if I were comfortable with myself first. And I had allowed that relationship to make me a version of myself that I never wanted to become again: insecure, fragile, angry.

Humphreys Peak (Flagstaff, Arizona)

Finally, I had to completely remove him from my life to move forward. Alcoholism is deadly. The person has to want to help him or herself. If not, there is no hope for better. It took me going through hell to really resonate with the fact that I was not responsible for him. If you are here, please hear me, I promise there is a great life waiting for you on the other side.

People sometimes ask me how I do it again. How I put myself out there. I want to get defensive about this statement

because I am extremely hypercritical of myself for being a divorcee, but I am open to the idea that they are actually softening their hearts to the fact that they think I am brave for trying again. Usually, they have also been hurt, and they have not been able to open their hearts in such a way that I feel is right for me in order to have the life that I want to have. I don’t think I’m brave. I think I just opened my eyes. I think I just committed to a life of never settling. And, I will always stay opportunistic to the idea that my match exists somewhere inside this crazy planet called Earth. If that means exposing myself to heartbreak, I’ll take feeling everything over and over again than a life of feeling nothing at all.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/how-i-got-out-of-my-toxic-relationship/

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mredwinsmith · 7 years ago

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Just What Is This Spirit of the Game Thing?

Unfortunate – When something bad happens to you.

Unfair – When something bad happens to me.

Prolog

Ultimate is going through an equity, equality and opportunity reassessment right now. This dialog caught my attention and I decided to investigate and write about my findings. Specifically, I was investigating, “Are there performance differences across the game of ultimate by gender?” When it comes to moving the sport forward, it is important to take into consideration the underlying factors and their causalities.

That differences study is complete and is waiting for publishing. The study shows statistically significant differences in the “quality” of ultimate when assessed by team gender. I mean really, really big differences. These differences seem to be far greater than what would be expected considering the observed skill levels of the players.

These differences made me realize that something other than gender/skill level was happening to drive the study results. When I looked deeper into that causality link, I wrote the upcoming, An Acceptable Level of Mediocrity which looks at the issues driving the perceived gender performance imbalance in ultimate from three different perspectives; player commitment, direct leadership & indirect leadership. Not to give the article away, but the issues preventing the game from being what we like to envision it to be are:

Poor enforcement of Spirit of the Game (SOTG) by sanctioning organizations

Weak coaching and a lack of participant commitment

In that article, poor SOTG enforcement seemed to be the single biggest contributor to the current state of the game. But before I can discuss shortcomings in SOTG enforcement, I needed to come up with a more quantifiable definition of SOTG; hence this article.

How do you measure Spirit of the Game?

Actually, you can’t measure SOTG. The term is compound, vague and ill-defined. Current assessments of SOTG use subjective criteria (opinions) that overlook many aspects of the game. Legitimate researchers will typically only investigate things that can be measured objectively. The entire hypothesis/theory basis of the Scientific Method requires it.

The most appropriate scientifically testable analog for SOTG is “selflessness.” Selflessness provides the foundation upon which SOTG is built. Still, there are additional components, for example: respect, sportsmanship, and integrity.

Selflessness is measured on a continuum with one extreme being labeled egotism and the other extreme being labeled altruism. So before we proceed using all these terms, let’s make sure we’re using the same definition of some important words.

Important Definitions

Altruism

“Willingness to do things that bring advantages to others, even if it results in disadvantages for yourself.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Contempt

“A strong feeling of disliking and having no respect for someone or something.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Dishonesty

“A lack of honesty or integrity” – Online Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Egotistical

“Thinking only about yourself and considering yourself better and more important than other people.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Fair-Mindedness

“Impartial in judgment; just.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Gamesmanship

“The activity of trying to win a game by doing things that are not really breaking the rules but are intended to destroy the confidence of the other player.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Integrity

“The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Machiavellianism

“Using clever but often dishonest methods that deceive people so that you can win power or control.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Psychopath

“A person who is has no feeling for other people, does not think about the future, and does not feel bad about anything they have done in the past” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Respect

“Politeness, honour, and care shown towards someone or something that is considered important.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Scientific Method

“A method of investigation in which a problem is first identified and observations, experiments, or other relevant data are then used to construct or test hypotheses that purport to solve it.” – Online Collins Dictionary

Self-absorbed

“Only interested in yourself and your own activities.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Selflessness

“Concern more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Spirit of the Game

“A spirit of sportsmanship that places the responsibility on the players.” – USAU

“Places the responsibility for fair play on every player.” – WFDF

Sociopath

“A person who is completely unable or unwilling to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Sportsmanship

“Fair and generous behavior or treatment of others, especially in a sporting contest.” – Online Cambridge Dictionary

Selflessness

Social creatures display selflessness with a range of variation for each individual within the population. Many of the above terms are measures of selflessness with some being put into a sporting context. Selflessness is measured on a continuum, with altruism being at one extreme and egotism being at the other extreme. We all sit somewhere on this continuum with most of us are somewhere in the middle.

Displayed on a chart assuming the Normal Distribution, these terms look something like this:

Testing Selflessness

The highest degree of selflessness is called altruism. Acts of altruism include; meerkats barking out a predator alarm, someone leaving a tip for the waitperson and calling yourself out when you bobble the disc on that potentially game-winning sideline catch.

Altruism has been studied quite a bit. Here’s a quick count of studies as tabulated by several well-respected research engines using the search parameter “altruism.”

Even more/different search hits can be found by changing the search keyword somewhat.

Altruism Study Results

Since altruism is a measure of selflessness, you have to wonder what level of selflessness is considered altruistic and what level is considered egotistical. Well, there is not a well-defined level of selflessness that is considered altruistic, just as there is not a specific level of SOTG that can define someone as being spirited.

There is a self-report test for altruism available. It seems to be well regarded by the community.1The Altruistic Personality and the Self-Report Altruism Scale, University of Ontario, 1981 For those of you who are curious, Psychology Today has a similar Egoism/Altruism quiz here.

It’s reasonable to say 20% of a random population is considered to be generally altruistic and that 20% would be considered generally egotistical. By the same token, 20% of ultimate players are quite spirited and 20% are not so much fun to share the field with. The rest just go with the flow.

So, if you think about it realistically, in a tournament pool of 5 teams; one team will have great spirit and one team will tend to make the game contentious.

The Value of Selflessness in Sports

Each extreme end of the selflessness continuum brings a different skill set to the table.2Personality Traits of Altruistic People: Empathy and the Big Five Factors, https://ift.tt/2QFlOAJ

Altruism vs. Egotism

Altruism increases your opponent’s enjoyment of the game. Egotism increases your sense of self-worth.

Sportsmanship vs. Gamesmanship

Sportsmanship increases the enjoyment of the game for the participants. Gamesmanship increases a team’s chances of winning.

Respect vs. Contempt

Respect for the rules & the other players make for games that are true to the teams’ relative abilities. Contempt increases a team’s chances of winning.

Integrity vs. Dishonesty

Integrity makes officiating easier. Dishonesty increases the need for officiating.

Good Spirit of the Game (SOTG) vs. Bad Spirit

SOTG increases player enjoyment and lowers game costs. Bad SOTG increases your chances of winning and increases the need for officials.

Bonus comparisons for the curious…

Egotist vs. Sociopath

An egotist, while self-centered, can display compassion and remorse during a game. A sociopath lacks those traits and instead seeks to blame others.

Sociopath vs. Psychopath

Psychopath is not considered a valid medical term by many professionals and has no clear definition. It is a word of convenience used by writers and speakers to describe a combination of personality traits. A psychopath is usually described as a violence-prone sociopath.

Probabilities

Egotist – one in 5

Sociopath – one in 500

Psychopath – one in 50,000

But it’s not that simple

If it were that simple, there would be no need for this article. Those of you who were shaking your head a little while reading the above are kinda right in questioning it. You’re right because there are two kinds of altruism: natural and reciprocal.

Natural altruism is based on our innate tendencies as an individual as described above. Reciprocal (cognitive) altruism, on the other hand, is how our own altruistic behavior changes with how we perceive the behavior of those around us. When we talk about reciprocal altruism, the concept of game theory comes into play.

Game Theory

In mathematics and psychology, there’s the study of Game Theory. Game Theory takes into account the logical and emotional interactions that come into play during a game. The field of Game Theory is all about the decision making processes when presented with multiple options involving cooperation between opponents. Interesting enough, Game Theory isn’t used as often in sports as you would think.

There are three outcomes where Game Theory comes into play:

Positive Sum (Mutual Gain)

Both sides win

Example: Teams decide to delay the game start

Negative Sum (Mutual Loss)

Both sides lose.

Example: Two teams double forfeit the last game of a tournament

Zero Sum

Zero Sum is where one team wins and the other loses.

Example: Pre-game disc flip

During the Game

When used during the game, Game Theory is all about adjusting your decision making based on the perceived altruism of your opponent. It often uses the concept of “tit for tat” in developing a successful game strategy. This concept of “I’ll treat you the same as I think you’re treating me,” comes down to something called Organizational Justice.

Organizational Justice3Game Theory in Organizational Justice: An Experimental Study on Teams, Journal of Business & Financial Affairs, 9/29/2017

During the course of a game each team perceives conflict resolution actions differently. Studies show this perception is often based on three things; perceived fairness of the outcome, perceived fairness of the discussion and the quality of interpersonal treatment. Relative skill levels and observed team effort also come into play. These perception differences often times can make teams feel they’re not being treated fairly and that they must adjust their own altruism to match.

Perceived Fairness4Individual Differences in Person Perception, Principals of Social Psychology, 2014

People do not treat us the way we think they do. Our perception of how we are being treated has a significant component that is completely inside our own heads. People with high altruism tendencies do test as having a better sense of how they are being treated. People with egotistic tendencies can interpret the same actions quite differently, typically in a more self-serving manner.

Bottom Line

Bottom line on developing a winning in-game strategy is that if one team cheats and if there is no authority present to correct the cheating. The other team must cheat to establish a new parity. Simply put, maintaining a higher level of altruism than your opponent is a losing strategy. So if you perceive your opponent is cheating, you must cheat as well. Altruism be damned…

By cheating offering an advantage, I’m writing about calls that can’t be overturned, even when clearly wrong. Things like phantom fouls, non-existent pick calls, offside pulls and false up calls come to mind. These calls give the offending team a second chance by returning the disc to the thrower on a turnover or negating a score. In a tightly contested game, these can result in a 1 – 3 point score swing.

A team with poor SOTG will often try to wear out their opponent by contesting any call that negatively affects them. In the end, if the offended team continues to stand their ground, they will get retaliated against with a strongly negative Spirit score. I see no official recourse for the wronged team. After all, it’s poor spirit to argue your spirit score.

The Third Team on the Field

There’s always a third team on the ultimate field, the sanctioning organization. The sanctioning organization sets in advance the SOTG expectations for the game. Their active involvement in a game goes a long way towards maintaining high SOTG levels and ensuring a level playing field for the teams. By their high levels of altruism and lack of timely SOTG enforcement, they sometimes allow poor SOTG to succeed in the short term. Be sure to read my upcoming article, “An Acceptable Level of Mediocrity” where I go into more detail.

Summary

Putting it all together:

Spirit of the Game (SOTG) has many components.

SOTG is most similar to selflessness and altruism.

20% of the population by nature will have good SOTG.

20% of the population by nature will have poor SOTG.

The rest of us are somewhere in the middle.

Our perception of our opponent’s SOTG may not be correct.

We tend to mimic how we perceive our opponent’s SOTG.

Maintaining a higher level of SOTG than your opponent is a losing strategy.

Sanctioning organizations play a key role in establishing and policing SOTG.

Read my next article.

The post Just What Is This Spirit of the Game Thing? appeared first on Skyd Magazine.

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lasespecias · 7 years ago

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Build Your Credibility

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