#chapter 28 plant

[renee-writer]

June Prompts Chapter 28 Plant

AO3

She wonders later, when she has a chance to think about it, why they grew where they did. It seems a strange place for anything to grow, so close to such a massive stone.

 

Forget-me-nots. Poetic in their simplicity. Did God place them there to draw her in? Did he? If only she thought to ask him before.

 

It is to late now. Whoever did, she is grateful. For despite the heartache and struggles, she wouldn’t  change a thing about it. Well, maybe one. Stopping Culloden.

[plantcomic]

first ll prev ll next

Not much to say about this one. Paavo namedrop? About time.

[lookwhatyoumademelou]

.

[hellsitegenetics]

Blast the Book of Genesis, Chapter 1 from the Bible so we can finally know what was the first creature God created.

[1:1] In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth,

[1:2] the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters.

[1:3] Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light.

[1:4] And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.

[1:5] God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.

[1:6] And God said, "Let there be a dome in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters."

[1:7] So God made the dome and separated the waters that were under the dome from the waters that were above the dome. And it was so.

[1:8] God called the dome Sky. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.

[1:9] And God said, "Let the waters under the sky be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so.

[1:10] God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good.

[1:11] Then God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation: plants yielding seed, and fruit trees of every kind on earth that bear fruit with the seed in it." And it was so.

[1:12] The earth brought forth vegetation: plants yielding seed of every kind, and trees of every kind bearing fruit with the seed in it. And God saw that it was good.

[1:13] And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.

[1:14] And God said, "Let there be lights in the dome of the sky to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years,

[1:15] and let them be lights in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth." And it was so.

[1:16] God made the two great lights - the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night - and the stars.

[1:17] God set them in the dome of the sky to give light upon the earth,

[1:18] to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good.

[1:19] And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.

[1:20] And God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the dome of the sky."

[1:21] So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, of every kind, with which the waters swarm, and every winged bird of every kind. And God saw that it was good.

[1:22] God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth."

[1:23] And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.

[1:24] And God said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures of every kind: cattle and creeping things and wild animals of the earth of every kind." And it was so.

[1:25] God made the wild animals of the earth of every kind, and the cattle of every kind, and everything that creeps upon the ground of every kind. And God saw that it was good.

[1:26] Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth."

[1:27] So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

[1:28] God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth."

[1:29] God said, "See, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food.

[1:30] And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food." And it was so.

[1:31] God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

String identified:

[1:1] t gg G cat t a a t at,

[1:2] t at a a a a c t ac t , a G t t ac t at.

[1:3] T G a, "t t gt"; a t a gt.

[1:4] A G a tat t gt a g; a G aat t gt t a.

[1:5] G ca t gt a, a t a ca gt. A t a g a t a g, t t a.

[1:6] A G a, "t t a t t t at, a t t aat t at t at."

[1:7] G a t a aat t at tat t t at tat a t . A t a .

[1:8] G ca t . A t a g a t a g, t c a.

[1:9] A G a, "t t at t gat tgt t ac, a t t a aa." A t a .

[1:10] G ca t a at, a t at tat gat tgt ca a. A G a tat t a g.

[1:11] T G a, "t t at t t gtat: at g , a t t at tat a t t t t." A t a .

[1:12] T at gt t gtat: at g , a t ag t t t t. A G a tat t a g.

[1:13] A t a g a t a g, t t a.

[1:14] A G a, "t t gt t t t aat t a t gt; a t t g a a a a a a,

[1:15] a t t gt t t t g gt t at." A t a .

[1:16] G a t t gat gt - t gat gt t t a a t gt t t gt - a t ta.

[1:17] G t t t t t g gt t at,

[1:18] t t a a t gt, a t aat t gt t a. A G a tat t a g.

[1:19] A t a g a t a g, t t a.

[1:20] A G a, "t t at g t a g cat, a t a t at ac t t ."

[1:21] G cat t gat a t a g cat tat , , t c t at a, a g . A G a tat t a g.

[1:22] G t, ag, " t a t a t at t a, a t t t at."

[1:23] A t a g a t a g, t t a.

[1:24] A G a, "t t at g t g cat : catt a cg tg a aa t at ." A t a .

[1:25] G a t aa t at , a t catt , a tg tat c t g . A G a tat t a g.

[1:26] T G a, "t a a ag, accg t ; a t t a t t a, a t t a, a t catt, a a t aa t at, a cg tg tat c t at."

[1:27] G cat a ag, t ag G cat t; a a a cat t.

[1:28] G t, a G a t t, " t a t, a t at a t; a a t t a a t t a a g tg tat t at."

[1:29] G a, ", a g at g tat t ac a t at, a t t t t; a a t .

[1:30] A t at t at, a t t a, a t tg tat c t at, tg tat a t at , a g g at ." A t a .

[1:31] G a tg tat a a, a , t a g. A t a g a t a g, t t a.

Closest match: Naumovozyma dairenensis CBS 421 chromosome 11, complete genome Common name: Budding yeast

(I could not find an image of this organism, so here is an image of Naumovozyma castellii instead.)

[salemrph]

"Let the World Burn"

Chapter 3: Prove to me that you're stronger

Navigator: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | AO3

A night of celebration ends in chaos—you vanish without a trace. The ransom demand arrives, but Sylus knows this isn’t just about money.

Chapter 3 summary: Something is wrong. You feel it. A weight settling deep in your bones, a fog clouding your thoughts. Despite your injuries, you need to escape. If you can’t trust your own strength, then at least trust him. Somewhere in the facility, the twins are closing in—but will they reach you in time?

Characters: Sylus x MC/reader/you, Luke and Kieran, Zayne, Caleb

Genre/Warning: descriptions of violence and blood, hurt/comfort, injuries, grief, romantic, drama, action, slight sexual content, angst

Word count: 6,909 | Reading Time: 28 min | AO3

RECOMENDATION: There is a part with a hint to BGM, I highly recommend you to hear it while you read.

Tag list: @voidsylus @thechaoticarchivist @syluscrows @likewhyareyousoobsessedwithme @syluskisser @fortunekookie07 @crimsonlittlecrow @mochibunnies3 @gazelover666 @fancyhawk45 @sorryimakira @paninisstuff @deathrye @tinyweebsstuff @sxderia @yunhogrippers @sylusqt @darkesky @an-ever-angry-bi @atinymekanie @bruisedchickensoup @thatonegenderfluidwhore @certainduckanchor @the-girl-who-used-to @reika-desu @f41k47 @beezabuzz @mentaltrouble2201 @bl00dsuccker @blorbohunter @gianchan-de @fortunekookie07

You wake up again, disoriented, the dim light above flickering weakly. Your entire body aches, but the sharp, searing pain in your chest is what pulls you fully into consciousness. You clutch at it instinctively, your breath coming in shallow gasps. What have they done to you? The memory of the lab floods back—hands gripping you, cold voices, the violent sound of the cardiogram. The pain from before was unbearable, and now it holds on you so tightly, a cruel reminder of whatever experiment they’ve subjected you to. Did they mess with your Protocore Syndrome? The thought churns in your mind.

The cold of the concrete floor seeps into your bones, making every movement feel heavier, but you force yourself to move. Your fingers scrape against the rough surface as you try to push up onto your hands and knees. The effort is agonizing, your muscles trembling with the strain. Your head spins accompanied by a stabbing pain.

You focus on your breathing, forcing the pain to the edges of your mind. The room around you is nearly empty, stripped of anything that could be useful. A prison bed sits in one corner, its sheets rumpled and stained. A table and chair are pushed against the far wall. It seems that it is not the same room as before.

You’re lying in the middle of it all, sprawled on the floor like discarded trash. The realization sends a wave of anger through you. Grimacing, you plant your feet firmly against the ground and push yourself upright. The world tilts dangerously, your vision swimming as your body protests, but you grit your teeth and stay standing. Weak or not, you’re leaving this place.

You steady yourself against the table, taking a moment as your breath, every inhale a reminder of the soreness radiating from your chest. You scan the room, looking for anything, a vent, a weapon, a weak point in the door.

The walls are concrete, unyielding and blank, but the faint hum of machinery vibrates through them. The only exit appears to be the heavy steel door across the room, but there’s no handle on your side, just a small window. Maybe you could break it with the chair. Your instincts kick in, years of training fighting against the fog clouding your thoughts. Think. Act. Survive.

Your gaze lands on the chair. Breaking the window would attract a lot of attention. The legs are thin if you can get enough leverage, maybe you can break one off. You limp toward it, every step a battle, and crouch low. Then you turn the chair around, you place one foot on the base, wrapping your hands around the thin leg, muscles trembling as you pull and push. The bolt resists at first, but you dig your heels into the floor, using your weight to force it. Your hands sweat and shake, in that state, they slip on the metal.

“Come on…” you say with effort. You end up slipping and hitting your hand. “Fuck!” 

Your body trembles as you curl into yourself on the cold ground. You have no strength left to fight. Tears build up in your eyes, blurring your vision but you don’t bother wiping them away. What’s the point? Can you really escape? Or is this it? A broken laugh escapes your lips, more like a sob strangled before it could fully form. Maybe it would have been easier if you had died in that explosion. Maybe it would have been kinder if Caleb had buried you instead… All this shit you've been putting through. Half-truths, dangerous missions, and yes, yes, of course you wanted to be a Hunter. Save the world, protect the people… But who protects you? Occupational hazards, you tell yourself. Good equipment, high-tech weapons, sharp instincts and grueling training. That’s what keeps you alive, day in and day out... And yet, everything can still go wrong. Like now. Especially now. 

Your head pounds, a brutal, unrelenting pain that drowns out everything else. Your body is numb, the torment pressing down so heavily on you that it’s hard to even tell where the pain ends and your own thoughts begin. 

Trapped in a godforsaken hole where they treat your body like an experiment, pushing you past the edge, over and over. Needles pierce your veins, flooding you with something that makes your heart race too fast, too erratic—teetering on the edge of failure. You’ve worked for this. Fought for it. With all the effort you've put in with Zayne. Training, check-ups, medication… everything to keep your heart strong enough to survive the impossible. To take on the toughest missions. To win. Your body trembles, muscles locking up as the foreign substance tears through you. You gasp, fighting to stay present. Cold sweat clings to your skin, accumulating lightly on your forehead. 

How much longer can you take this? You know perfectly well that this was just the beginning. They’ll come back. A second round. Maybe a third. Your fingers twitch against the cold floor, useless, trembling. You try to move, but even breathing feels like a battle. You force your lips to move, a weak whisper.

“Sylus…” His name escapes, slipping past cracked lips like a plea. Fuck… Shouldn't he be here already? Always stalking you, having Mephisto eyes on you basically 24/7. Or even Luke and Kieran… and now he's taking his fucking time to find you. What a shitty boy— Wait. The call. Rudy was walking to him before. He knows. Just as quickly as you felt some relief, the concern for him comes at the same instant. You close your eyes for a moment, imagining Sylus' face.

The familiar sound of gloves hitting the heavy bag, the rhythmic thud and pull of the rope, that brings you back to the gym. Sweat dripping down your face, the sting of a punch still fresh in your knuckles. Sylus standing next to the pushing bag. Eyes locked on you, always serious when it comes to your workouts.

“Again.” he commands, pushing you through limits you didn’t know you had. “You can do better. You’re not here to just survive, you’re here to win. So act like it.”

You feel the burn in your muscles, the exhaustion accumulating, but his words echo in your mind, cutting through the fatigue. You’re stronger than this. You glance at him, sweat running down your body, your heart racing. His eyes don’t waver from yours. There’s no doubt in them. It’s the way he always looked at you, like you were capable of more than you ever gave yourself credit for. He holds the punching bag and gives you a sign.

“Don’t stop, prove to me that you can be stronger.” 

In that moment, you let go of all of the doubts. You throw another punch, this time with purpose, with power. You do more reps, hitting the bag harder. You hear him nod, approving. “Use your whole body”. You adjust your stance, feet shoulder-width apart, knees slightly bent—stable. You exhale sharply as you throw the next punch, twisting from your core, driving the movement from your hips. Power doesn’t come from just your arms; it flows through your entire body, from the pivot of your foot to the snap of your wrist. The bag shudders with impact.

“Now kick!” Every muscle is screaming for rest, but you don’t stop. Not with him beside you. Not when he believes in you more than you believe in yourself. You grit your teeth and throw a solid kick at the bag, feeling the impact vibrate up your leg. “Harder. Come on, Kitten!” Determined, you shift your weight, pivoting on your foot. With a sharp breath, you twist your hips and launch into a spinning kick. The force sends the bag swinging, and Sylus instinctively takes a step back, his eyes gleaming with pride. He smiles. “Good job.” 

With that, your training is over. You sit down on the bench, gulping down water as you struggle to catch your breath. Sylus approaches, offering you a towel.

"Your training is getting harder" you say tiredly, wiping the sweat from your face. 

“Or maybe you're finally reaching my level. Took you long enough, kitten." You smile at him. Even though it is tougher than the Hunter Association training, every extra mile you take will make you stronger. You take a sip of water, smirking over the bottle. 

"If this is you pushing me to the limit, I expected more. Don’t tell me you’re holding back?" Sylus smirks at your comment. You stand up stretching your sore muscles before turning away. “I will take a shower… Are you—” Before you can finish, Sylus sweeps you into his arms effortlessly, making you gasp as your feet leave the ground. You drop the water bottle and the towel around your neck finds their way to the floor. “We talked about this, Sy” you pout, swatting his chest. He only chuckles, leaning in, resting his temple against yours.

“We did. I… just love to have you in my arms.” Will you ever get used to those sweet words he always drops without warning? The way he looks at you with the purest sweetness you've ever tasted? You avoid his gaze, because you know you're turning red, and even though you wanted his attention, now you want to run away from it. He loves seeing you like that. “So, you were saying?”

“Nothing, put me down” you start to squirm but his hold tightens playfully.

“But kitten, weren't you about to invite me to take a shower with you? I’m not going to let that offer slip away.” 

You groan, pushing against his shoulder. “Don't you have anything more important to do?” 

“My schedule just became free” he murmurs, and before you can argue, he captures your lips in a kiss. 

The sound of running water fills the bathroom, steam curling in the air. He helps you take off your sweat-soaked clothes always with overwhelming care, then after he guides you into the shower. Sylus watches you, his gaze burning even hotter than the water cascading down his skin. You stand with your back pressed against the cool tiles. 

“You look tense” he muses, stepping closer and leaning casually in, one arm extended over your head. Droplets slide down his toned chest, glistening under the dim light. He reaches out, fingers tracing a slow path down your arm. “Maybe I should help you relax.” His gaze moves slowly across your face, down over your shoulders, chest to where he's touching right now. You swallow, feeling your pulse stutter as he trails lower. Your skin prickles beneath his touch, heat blooming in its wake. 

“Is this your way to cool down?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. His lips brush against your temple, then your cheek, trailing down until they hover just above the corner of your mouth. The water drips down his jaw, onto your skin, and the sensation sends a shiver through you. The heat building up in your core accompanies the throbbing of your clit, a mix of pleasure and the sweet ache of being so desperately horney. You could throw yourself into his arms but you enjoy the push and pull you have. The game of who falls first.  

Sylus chuckles, low and deep. “No.” His hands find your waist, thumbs stroking lazy circles against your damp skin. “You put in a lot of effort… I think you deserve a reward.”

The heat from the shower is nothing compared to the way his lips find your shoulder. He takes his time, savoring the way you gasp under his touch. He grabs one of the shower gels and pours a generous amount into his hand. The cold gel makes you whimper when he expands it over your skin. 

“You enjoy spoiling me too much” you murmur, trying to sound annoyed, but the way your body leans into him betrays you. His hand is already cupping your breast, creating slight friction on your nipple. His breath ghosts against your neck before he nips at your skin, making you whimper again. Your hands press against his chest as if to push him away, but instead, you tilt your head, granting him more access. Wishing he'd bite down like he always does. His fingers slide up, tilting your chin, leaving you with no choice but to meet his gaze.

"Tell me to stop" he challenges softly. His glowing eyes are piercing you. You don't answer. Instead, your fingers curl against his skin. You want more. Sylus smirks. “That’s what I thought.” His mouth finally claims yours, slow but searing, like fire melting through every last thought you had. “Don’t worry I will give you a proper massage after.”

The steam fogs up all the glasses and the sound of your moans are drowned out by the splashing of the water. Everything else fades—until there’s only him.

You get up, slowly, painfully, but you get up. Sylus’s voice is still with you, urging you forward. And this time, you listen. You try to breathe, focus on anything but the pressure in your chest. If you don't fight, you die. And if you have to die, may it be fighting. You can hear a door closing and footsteps in the distance. They're coming back.

You need to get a weapon, and the leg of that stupid chair is the best thing you could get. So you try again. Planting your bare feet firmly on the ground, trying with all the strength you have left in your body to break the rusted metal. The first creak is faint, but it sends a rush of hope through you. You keep pulling and forcing the metal, ignoring the strain in your arms and the screaming protests of your chest.

Finally, with a sharp crack, one of the legs snaps free. You stumble backward, clutching your makeshift weapon. It’s short, blunt, and uneven, but it’s something. The sound of footsteps in the hallway makes you freeze. A shadow passes the small window in the door. Panic threatens to take over, but you force it down. This is your chance.

You drag yourself to the side of the door, pressing against the wall just as it swings open with a mechanical hiss. Someone steps in, his gaze scanning the room. He doesn’t see you at first, his attention on the empty bed. You don’t hesitate. Using every ounce of strength you have left, you lunge forward, the broken chair leg swinging with all the force you can muster. It connects with a sickening thud, and the guard crumples to the ground, unconscious.

You collapse against the wall, gasping for air. The pain in your chest flares again, but you shove it aside. You kneel and search frantically through the guard’s gear. A keycard hangs from his belt, and a small comm device is clipped to his collar. Your fingers brush over it and what follows is a sharp sting pierces the side of your neck.

A prickling sensation spreads through your veins. Your breath hitches and your vision blurs at the edges. The room tilting and spinning as your body sways. No. No, no, no—this can’t be happening. You blink rapidly, forcing yourself to move, but your limbs grow heavy, sluggish, like you’re wading through thick tar.

“…routine check in the lower levels. Lab secure…”

A shadow looms over you. A voice muffled seeps into your consciousness. The headache hits you like a sledgehammer, pounding at your skull. Everything feels wrong. The air, your own movements, even the memories clawing their way to the surface—they crash into you all at once.

“Did you really think it’d be that easy?”

Your fingers tighten around the keycard, but your grip weakens. The strength you just fought so hard to reclaim is slipping through your fingers like sand. You try to push yourself up, to resist, but your body betrays you, your limbs refusing to respond. The floor rushes up to meet you, and the last thing you register before darkness takes you is the sound of footsteps approaching and a cruel chuckle echoing through the room.

A voice echoes in your mind, high-pitched, trembling. “Gran? Granny, where are you?” It’s your voice, but younger, frightened. The sound reverberates in your mind, pulling you back to a different time, a different place.

It’s 2034, and the sky is bleeding. Rusty red rain falls in thick, viscous drops, staining the earth as the air hums with an unnatural energy. You could only see the shadow of it then—a Wanderer, towering and formless, its presence bending the very fabric of reality. Its scream pierced through you, splitting your world in two. The memory fades into another, sharper and closer.

"You must press on." His voice, calm and commanding, had echoed through your very soul. 

“There is so much blood” Your chest heaves as more images flood in. A sea of blood glistens before your eyes. It coats your hands, warm and sticky, dripping from your fingers. The sight is suffocating, and the grief hits you like a wave. You don’t even know whose blood it is, but the weight of it feels unbearable. A field of red flowers stretches endlessly, glowing under the amber light of a setting sun.

"Why not? You're also mine now."

It’s familiar, tugging at something deep within, but the name, the face, the connection—it all slips away, maddeningly out of reach. A melody creeps into the back of your mind, you begin to hum along. The echo of an organ resonates far away in a cathedral. 

"Our souls are bound. We will never betray each other."

The words pierce through you, the field darkening as the voice grows louder, more commanding. Who is it? The pain in your chest, the memories tearing through your mind, the disorientation, it all builds to a breaking point.

"After all, you and I—we are the same. True kindred spirits."

You want to scream. A harsh, burning sensation courses through your veins as you slowly come back, your head lolling to the side. The world around you is a blur of cold metal and dim, flickering lights. Your body sways—not of your own accord. You’re being dragged. The sound of footsteps scuffing against the floor echoes in your ears. Your sluggish mind struggles to catch up, but as the grogginess lifts, reality slams into you like a freight train.

You’re barely conscious, yet instinct takes over. You thrash, your legs kicking out wildly, hands clawing at the air. A deep, familiar chuckle rumbles above you.

Background music

“I knew you’d try to escape” the voice sneers, and the sound of it—gravelly, amused—makes your stomach turn. It’s him. The same bastard who beat you bloody in the cell. The one who took pleasure in every hit, every drop of your blood staining his knuckles. A new wave of adrenaline surges through you. You twist violently in his grasp, elbowing him in the ribs.

“Little fighter, aren’t you?" he sneers, barely flinching. He hoists you up, slamming you onto the operating table with enough force to knock the breath from your lungs. The cold surface bites into your skin. One of his hands clamps down on your wrist, shoving it toward the leather strap. You thrash, clawing at his face with your free hand. Your nails rake across his cheek, drawing blood.

“Fuck!” He jerks back, his grip faltering for a second. A second is all you need.

Using what little leverage you have, you kick out, aiming for his knee. He stumbles, just enough for you to yank yourself free. But your balance is shot. Your foot catches on the leg of the table, and before you can stop it, you’re falling.

The edge of the operating table slams into your ribs as you crash onto the floor. Dragging the tray that was nearby. The loud sound of metal hitting the ground makes you cringe. Pain explodes through your side, but you grit your teeth and push past it. You scramble to get up, but he’s already recovered, already reaching for you with murder in his eyes. And you are not going back onto that table. The room erupts into chaos.

Movement flickers at the edge of your vision—something metallic skidding across the floor. Scissors. You lunge, fingers closing around the cold steel just as heavy footsteps close in behind you. A sharp yank—your hair is wrenched back, exposing your throat. Making you stand up. The big bastard snarls, his breath hot against your ear. 

“You just don’t fucking quit, do you?” He has you in his grasp, his arm around your neck, his big body pressed against your back. You drive the scissors backward. You sink the blade into his forearm, hot blood spilling between your fingers with that you tear from him a guttural scream from his throat. 

He recoils with a snarl, clutching the wound, his grip on you lost. You don’t hesitate—you twist onto your feet, muscles coiled, ready to tear him apart—

Then, out of nowhere, a blur of white lunges at you. Was there anyone else in the room? You barely register the scientist before he’s on you, his face twisted in wild panic, a syringe clutched in his trembling fist. He lunges. You try to twist away, but it’s too late. The needle slams into your shoulder. Fire floods your veins. You gasp, your vision pulsing at the edges. No. No, no, no, I can’t go under, not now. 

The scientist is still there, scrambling to retreat, but your rage surges past the spinning and racing feeling in your body. Snarling, you grab him by the collar and slam him into the nearest counter. Vials and instruments clatter to the floor. Glass breaks. You pull the syringe out, the vial is half empty. You throw it to the ground as far away as possible.

But the real threat is still behind you. The big man is back on his feet, blood dripping from his forearm, pure fury contorting his face. Your limbs feel sluggish, like you're fighting through quicksand. But you don’t stop. You quickly search for something to finish the bastard off. Where are the scissors you had before? No time. Your eyes dart to the floor—broken glass. You look around, and you grab a stool and throw it at him. Then you run towards the broken cupboard. You grip the glass firmly even if it makes you bleed. 

“What? Are you going to scratch me again, bitch?” The guy cracks his fingers. He launches into the attack. “Come here!”

With a sharp inhale, you swing the glass, aiming straight for his throat. Just as the blade slices through the air, a deafening alarm erupts, drowning out everything. You failed. Red lights flash, painting the chaos in eerie bursts. The whole fucking facility just woke the hell up.

"You're really starting to piss me off." he growled, a fist slams into your ribs, you hear a crack while you scream. Footsteps thunder outside the lab. Reinforcements. Shit. The scientist had pressed the emergency button near the computer. Now emboldened by the incoming backup, staggers toward the console, fingers flying over the keys. The speakers crackle, a robotic voice echoing over the alarm:

"Subject breach detected. All security personnel to Lab 2."

You barely have time to process before the big guy is on you again, grabbing you by the wrist, twisting it hard until the glass clatter to the floor.

“End of the line” he sneers, shoving you back against the table.

Your heart pounds, your vision sways, but your mind screams at you—MOVE. You don’t have a damn choice. With the last burst of strength, you swing your head forward—smashing it right into the bastard’s nose. Pain explodes in your skull, but it’s nothing compared to his. The big guy stumbles back with a strangled curse, blood gushing from his broken nose. 

Adrenaline drowns out everything else as you pick up the glass from the floor, finally driving the glass into his thigh. He roars, dropping to one knee. With a brutal kick to his chest, you send him sprawling to the floor. The scientist yelps, making a break for the exit, but you’re faster. You grab the metal tray from the floor and hurl it across the room. It collides with the back of his head, sending him crashing into the ground.

You don’t wait. You stagger toward the nearest workstation, grabbing whatever the hell looks useful—a scalpel, any weapon, anything that might get you out of here. The big guy groans, trying to push himself up, but you don’t give him the chance. You grab a chair and slam it down over his head. He goes limp. Wasting no time, you drop to your knees, rifling through his pockets. Your hands shake, slick with sweat and blood, but you find what you need—a keycard. Bingo! And a gun. Then you run.

The dim corridors flash in rhythmic pulses of red light, sirens blaring a relentless warning. Shouts echo from every direction, boots pounding against the floor. You run as fast as you can, trying to escape from guards crossing your way. Your breath comes in quick, panicked gasps. Your heart pounds in your chest, adrenaline pushing you forward despite the pain. A guard rounds the corner ahead. You don't hesitate—you raise the gun and fire. A sharp cry. He drops.

The guards’ voices echo behind you. You don’t know where the exit is. You need to hide. Your eyes dart wildly, searching for anything—any way out. Then, a door. A card reader.

Please, please work.

Your hand trembles as you slide the card through the reader. The door clicks open, and you rush inside, slamming it behind you. Silence, except for your ragged breaths. You press your back against the cold metal, straining to listen. The pounding footsteps outside slow. Voices murmur, searching. You hold your breath. You might be able to get rid of a few more but it doesn't look good if you don't have any more ammo.

“I don’t plan on dying here” you remind yourself.

The footsteps grow louder, closer. You crouch behind a table, the shadows hiding you as best as you can. You load the gun, the sharp click of the bullet locking into place echoing softly in the silence. Inhaling deeply, you steady yourself. Your finger hovers over the trigger. Just a little longer. The door creaks open and a figure steps inside. You count down, ready to come out of your hiding place.

3..

2..

1..

____

Kieran moves quickly through the arsenal, his sharp gaze scanning the rows of weapons and supplies stacked in metal racks. The room is an arms dealer’s dream—a vault packed with everything from high-powered rifles to explosives, enough firepower to arm a small army. Rudy wasn’t just using this warehouse as a hideout; they were stockpiling for something big. He lets out a low whistle. Kieran isn’t the type to leave good weapons behind, especially when he’s in enemy territory. He takes a moment to scan the arsenal, eyes narrowing as he spots a row of high-end firearms. 

“Would be a shame to let these go to waste.” Kieran moves down the aisles, grabbing a few throwing knives and extra flashbangs. Then he spots something even better—a sleek, custom-made sniper rifle with a silencer already attached.

“Yes, baby. You’re coming with me” he murmurs, slinging it over his shoulder.

Then he gets to work.

Pulling out the small detonators from his backpack, Kieran starts placing them in key locations—near fuel canisters, along structural support beams. He kneels beside a stack of crates, pulling out some other compact explosives from his vest. His hands move quickly, attaching them in strategic points—where the blast will cause the most destruction. 

The comms crackle in his ear. "Luke? You’re there?" No answer. Kieran focused on syncing up with Luke's vision. Seems to be busy in the basement. 

A sound near the doorway makes him freeze. The connection snapped. Footsteps. Kieran presses himself against the crates, fingers hovering over his knife. He doesn't breathe as the guard steps inside, scanning the room. One second. Two. Three. The guard turns away. That’s his chance. In a flash, Kieran moves. His arm hooks around the man's throat, cutting off his air before he can make a sound. The struggle is short. A final twitch followed by a crack, then stillness. Kieran lowers the body quietly, checking the hall before continuing. No need to kill the other two. Sneaking out sounds like a better option right now.

Kieran exhales sharply, already picking up the pace. The detonators are set, now he just has to make sure they don’t all die before they get to enjoy the fireworks. He is halfway to the exit when the sharp wail of an alarm slices through the air. Red emergency lights flood the hall outside the arsenal, flashing in rhythmic pulses that make his surroundings feel even more claustrophobic.

“Shit!” he breathes, pressing a hand to his earpiece. “Luke?”

He flattens against a crate just as a squad of armed guards storms past. Their voices are clipped, urgent. He’s sure he didn’t trip the alarm. He was careful. There’s no way they noticed him.

Static crackles in his ear before Luke’s voice cuts through, tight with agitation. “Did you mess up?”

Kieran exhales sharply, keeping his voice low. “No…” His eyes flick toward the exit, calculating his next move. “Was it you?”

Luke scoffs, followed by the distant sound of a scuffle—grunts, a body hitting the floor. “It’s not always my fault.”

“Sweep the lower levels! Secure the perimeter!” one of them barks. Kieran’s grip tightens around his stolen rifle. 

Kieran clenches his jaw, peeking over the crate as the guards disappear around the corner. “Well, then who set off the damn alarm?”.

A loud crack comes through the earpiece, followed by Luke’s irritated grunt. “Not me, genius—I’m kinda busy.” Another muffled oof. The unmistakable sound of a punch landing.

Kieran huffs. “Oh, yeah, sounds like you’ve got it under control.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Luke deadpans, followed by another thud—presumably someone hitting the floor.

Kieran scans the area, heart pounding. “Well, it wasn’t me.”

Luke scoffs. “Right. And I’m the damn Pope.”

Kieran rolls his eyes, moving swiftly between cover. “I know how to stay hidden.”

“Uh-huh.” A grunt. A sharp snap. Someone groans in pain.

Luke exhales. “That’s debatable.”

Kieran bristles. “You got caught last time!”

“That was one time—”

“You shot a guy mid-sentence—”

“He was monologuing, Kieran! Who does that in the middle of a fight?”

“Oh, fuck you—”

Another silence. Then it hits them both at once. Neither of them tripped the alarm. Their bickering stops cold.

Kieran’s stomach twists. “Wait.”

Luke exhales sharply. “Oh, shit.”

Their eyes widen in sync. It must’ve been you. Which could only mean one thing. You got out. You’re alive. For now.

Kieran moves fast. Knifing one guard in the side before he can react. Stealing his keycard as his body crumples. By the time the others notice, Kieran’s already gunning them down. The hallway clears, but he knows more are coming. He swipes the stolen keycard at the nearest panel, overriding a security door, and sprints inside. 

“I’m en route to your position,” he says into his earpiece, breath controlled despite the chaos.

Luke’s voice crackles through. “Hurry the hell up—things are getting real fun down here.”

A guard rounds the corner—too slow. Kieran’s knife is already in his ribs, slicing upward. The man chokes on a wet gasp, his body shuddering before going limp. Kieran barely spares him a glance and lets the corpse drop. The moment stretches—then another guard spots him.

"Intruder—!"

Kieran fires before the man can finish, a precise shot between the eyes. The other guards react instantly, raising their weapons. He fires as he moves, two shots to the kneecaps of the nearest enemy. The man collapses with a scream, but Kieran is already springing up, slamming the butt of his gun into another’s jaw. Bone crunches. A third guard rushes him. Kieran twists, using the momentum to drive his knife deep into the man’s throat. Blood sprays, warm against his arm. He shoves the body aside and turns just as the last remaining guard raises his rifle.

Kieran doesn’t hesitate.

He fires twice—chest, head. The guard slams back against the wall and slides down, leaving a smear of red in his wake. Kieran exhales sharply, rolls his shoulders, and keeps running.

___

You freeze, the gun still raised, your eyes wide with disbelief. Fuck... For a long moment, neither of you moves. Your grip tightens on the gun, your mind racing, muscles locked in a desperate fight-or-flight response. Then the light shifts, illuminating his face. Your breath catches. Then recognition dawns. You lower the gun, your heart still racing. 

“Thank god, is you” your voice hoarse from exhaustion. The weight of your injuries catches up with you as the adrenaline fades, and your legs give out. You sink back onto the cold floor, leaning against the table, clutching your side where pain flares white-hot. 

"Miss, you’re good at hide and seek, but boss is worried" Luke says, stepping closer, his tone teasing but with a hint of concern. His eyes flick around the room, scanning for threats before finally kneeling close. You look like hell—worse than he expected to find you. 

“How have you found me?” 

“Following a trail of blood on the wall” you nod. Right, your hand is still bleeding. 

“Sylus? Is he here?” Your voice cracks slightly, a mix of fear and hope lacing your words.

"Of course.” Luke responde. “Let me see.” His hands hover near you, waiting for permission. You hesitate, then exhale shakily, letting him peel your fingers away from your side. The world tilts slightly as fresh pain ignites, but you grit your teeth.

“I think I have a broken rib” you say while you wince in pain. You reach out, showing him the cut on your hand as well. 

“You look like shit.” Luke growls. You glance down at yourself, the thin hospital gown that barely covers you, is stained with blood. You begin to notice the cold, your bare and dirty feet point out the reality of your situation even more. “I’ll patch you up." His voice is firm but not unkind. You don’t argue—not like you have the strength to, anyway. Instead, you simply nod, swallowing down the mess of emotions bubbling inside you. Luke shrugs off the small backpack, rifling through its contents. He has the basics, but when they packed, they weren’t expecting broken bones. He also takes a pen out of a case and inserts a cartridge filled with liquid. Luke notices how your body tenses at the sight of the needle. 

“Don’t worry, it's for the pain” With all the things you’ve already in your system, another dose won't hurt, at least if it helps relieve your aching body. He places the pen against your arm and presses the needle into your skin. You let Luke take care of everything, you didn't expect him to treat you so tactfully. 

“It seems like you have a lot of practice,” you say, trying to distract yourself from the upcoming pain that the alcohol will inflict on your skin. “Argh” you yelped. The pain stinge your hand, and you feel the wound pullsing. His hands move with practiced efficiency, cleaning the cut and wrapping the bandages with just the right amount of pressure.

“Sorry...” Luke whispers as he secures the quick bandage. "I have enough knowledge for moments like these" he adds. He exhales sharply, eyes flicking back to you. "Pull up the gown. I need to see how bad it is.”

You hesitate only for a second before obeying, lifting the fabric slowly up. Every shift sends a fresh wave of pain through your ribs, forcing you to suck in a sharp breath. This is no time to be embarrassed. The moment the bruise is exposed, Luke's expression hardens under his mask. A deep, blue-purple blotch spreads across your side, angry and swollen. He reaches out, fingertips ghosting over the bruised skin before applying the lightest pressure. Even that makes you wince. Tender. Definitely bad.

His brows furrow slightly. "I’ll need more bandages."

He searches the small room you're in, lighting a small lantern he's carrying. Aside from a lot of dust, empty boxes and bottles, an old cupboard, there's not much else. On the top shelf there are expired medications, bottles with weird stuff inside, and an old first aid kit. 

Without wasting time, he grabs the remaining bandages from the battered first aid kit. His hands work quickly, wrapping the fabric around your ribs. The pressure is uncomfortable, but it keeps the pain from worsening. 

“You need a doctor, so we need to move.” You grit your teeth, forcing yourself to stay still as he secures the bandage in place. At least there’s no sign of internal bleeding. For now. But the bruising is severe, you need to get proper treatment soon.

Luke sits back on his heels, scanning your face before saying, “I’ll inform Boss.” 

“Wait!" You tug at Luke's sleeve, your grip tight despite the weakness in your limbs. His body stiffens for a moment before he looks down at you. You know perfectly well that if you escape now, you might not be able to access the data. You know Sylus, he'll blow up the building the moment you step foot outside. It wouldn't be the first time he's done that.

He was already rising to his feet, ready to move. "We can’t stay here."

You shake your head, panic curling in your chest like a tightening vice. "No. I need to know what they’ve done with me.”

“No way! We are leaving.” His jaw clenches. 

“Luke please…” Your fingers tremble as they clutch at his sleeve again, your breath uneven.   “I… have the protocore syndrome.” you confess. Luke freezes. The boss never mentioned this. Never. “I need the data” you plead.

Luke sighs, and his voice softens, though his words are as blunt as ever. He can empathize with what you feel. "Fuck! Boss will kill if…” he mutters.

“I’ll talk to him after, this is on me.” The boy continues to hesitate, trying to find some way to persuade the idea. "Stick to the plan" were the instructions, clear and precise. Deviating from it could lead to multiple scenarios where no one comes out alive. Luke growls. After a long silence, the boy sighs.

“We find the data and get the hell out of here. Okay?” you nod quickly. “But first, we need clothes for you. Stay and be quiet." He approaches the door, the sirens continue howling, through a small opening, he checks if it is safe. Then, without a word, he slips through the gap and disappears into the shadows. Leaving you in the silence. 

You close your eyes for a moment, what a crazy night. You feel relieved that at least they found you. You know it's risky to go get the data, but leaving without it could be a death sentence. You need to show the files to Zayne. Fuck, he’ll probably get mad at you again when you show up in the ER like that. Honestly, you'd rather he scolds you about how careless you are and get hell out of that damn lab or whatever they are keeping you in. You smile bitterly. Thinking about your favorite doctor, you're already feeling bad to drag him into this. Whatever they have done, it feels wrong.

The pounding in your head hasn’t stopped. The images you saw earlier are still a blur, impossible to fully make sense. The voices, the deep pain in your soul and that feeling that escapes from your mind. Your face contorts as you struggle to contain the pain surging through your veins. You put your hand over your mouth, stifling the scream threatening to escape. In the center of your chest, your heart slams against your ribs, each beat more violent than the last.

When Luke returns, he’s holding a guard uniform, it's dark fabric hanging loosely in his hands. He probably knocked out some random guy. 

"Maybe too big, but better than being half-naked—" Luke stops mid-sentence, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studies you. “Are you alright, Miss?” You take the uniform from his hands, gripping the fabric tightly, your fingers trembling slightly. You shift to stand, and the moment you straighten, fire shoots through your side, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs.

“Yeah, don’t worry. It’s just the pain.” you lie smoothly, forcing a weak smirk before quickly slipping into the oversized clothes. Even with the mask you know that Luke doesn’t look convinced. You force yourself to move normally, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from making a sound. “You know,” you murmur, adjusting the sleeves, “I’ve told you and Kieran plenty of times to call me by my name.”

Luke exhales through his nose, amused but noncommittal. “I’ll try next time.”

He moves to the door, his stance shifting into alertness as he scans the dim hallway beyond. The distant wail of sirens still echoes through the facility.

“We don’t have much time. Let’s go.”

Navigator: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | AO3

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this part. I'm still working on the next one, therefore it will take me some time since it’s a section I hadn’t originally planned. I'll appreciate your patience. And a big thank you to all who wants to keep reading and or have reached out to me. Is amazing!

Released date: ~2 weeks. Chapter 4: Extraction Point

[plushiesssforcrying]

Bluebells.

୨୧ chapters ┊ memories. / day 2.

୨୧ character ┊ telemachus.

୨୧ pronouns ┊ she / her.

୨୧ contents ┊ reader is so mysterious. majority of this is from telemachus' pov. takes place a bit after song 28. slowburn esque... happy valentine's ig.

A cloak wrapped around his figure, Telemachus made his way through the bustling crowd of the market. He scanned the different stalls with furrowed brows, simply trying to find a distraction. A distraction from all the pressure at the palace.

The pressure to be like his father who he's yet to know and meet, who he's still conflicted whether he should resent him for leaving his mother or praise him for being brave enough for heading into war head on as the king of Ithaca.

The pressure to protect his mother from the suitors who had overrun the palace. He had gone above and beyond to make sure that the suitors never bothered her, especially since she started weaving the shroud. While she never demanded him to protect her, he always felt like it was his responsibility.

Although today was different, he had an eventful day of getting beaten up by Antinous and meeting the pallas Athena— who decided that she'll train him and aid him in finding his father.

He only sighed, finding most of the stalls to be of the norm. That is until his eyes landed on a lone shop in the middle of the marketplace. Behind the stall stood a hooded figure busying themselves by rearranging the plants with gloved hands, the other stalls even distanced themselves from them.

He stared in interest and curiousity. It did look a bit different than the other shops, with signs of caution placed around it. What kind of booth would need those? Not long after, he approached with caution just as the signs warned.

The figure took notice of him almost immediately, “Hello and welcome.” she called out in a calm tone. Most of her features was concealed by the hood, her smile being the only visible part of her face. She waited patiently as he takes in the vibrant, colorful floras on display. On the side, he noticed a few strange liquids in glass bottles.

As Telemachus reached for one of the flowers, the shopkeeper was quick to gently grip his wrist. She held up a finger, slowly letting go of him. “Careful now. I have signs for a reason, young man.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” He sheepishly retracted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck. Curiously, he asks. “But... these flowers. Are they really that dangerous? And why are you selling them?”

The shopkeeper's smile never faltered, instead looking more entertained at the young man's questions. They brought a hand under their chin, thinking of how to answer him.

“Well, they're not to be dealt with recklessly that's for sure. As for why I'm selling them... these are flowers I've collected from my travels. They aren't as easily found here.”

He nodded in acknowledgement, finding her reasoning strange but who is he to question what strangers do in their free time. His gaze fell on a vibrant blue flower, hung like a bell. He curiously pointed at it, never taking his gaze off as he asked.

“Does this one do anything?” The shopkeeper followed his hand before gently picking up the flower with her gloved hands. He swore he saw some scales that spotted her arms when she reached out, but they were quickly covered up as she presented one of the many she had on display.

“Indeed. The bluebell is highly toxic to most living beings, I don't recommend them as a gift. Perhaps just a decoration to keep pests away.”

“Although, funnily enough,” She continued, her fingers softly brushing against the petals of the flower. “Bluebells represents gratitude and everlasting love.”

“It is said that if you turn a bluebell flower inside-out without tearing it, you will win the one you love.” She remarked dreamily as she intertwined her fingers with the stem between her hands, though it seemed she had a joking tone underneath it, it's hard to tell for sure under the cloak.

She turned to the young man once more, the flower in hand being held in front of his face. Close enough for him to smell it, yet far enough for him to not touch it. Telemachus was caught off guard, the sickeningly sweet scent of the bluebell overwhelming his mind.

She spoke, her tone suddenly shifting into a more eerie, yet still cheerful tone.

“Such a strange mix, isn't it? To be the symbol of immortality, only for people to be unable to gift you as a present without risking the life of the one they love.”

Before he could respond, she pulled away and gingerly placed the flora down in its place again. He watched her movement carefully, intrigued and cautious of her fluctuating mood and words. The prince's hand couldn't help but instinctively graze the handle of his sword under his cloak, a motion that didn't go unnoticed by the woman but wasn't acknowledged either.

There was a strange air surrounding this cloaked woman and Telemachus was more than aware of it. Their interaction the past ten minutes had been nothing short of odd antics after another. With light suspicion, he tried to keep a light tone in his voice.

“Well, that is a... grim take on it..?” He remarked with a hesitant smile after what felt like, hours of silence. He sounded a lot more uncertain than he'd like but she didn't seem to mind it.

No, not at all. She was thoroughly entertained, evident in the cheeriness in her laughter after his comment. Whether she was laughing at his underlying fear or simply at his awkwardness was something he didn't, but desperately wants to know.

The woman simmered down, waving her hand dismissively. Her other hand busied itself with rearranging some pouches behind the booth that Telemachus couldn't see. “Ah, don't let me bore you. Please, feel free to ask anymore questions and if you prefer, I have some... potions too.”

“They're mildly safe.” She leaned in closer, a hand cupping one side of her mouth. She couldn't help the hint of teasing in her words and if Telemachus wasn't wary of her before, he definitely was now.

He glanced down at the vibrant assortment, the vendor waiting patiently and humming to herself as she await for him to make a choice. His grip on his sword only tightened under his cloak.

It seemed that she's skilled in some kind of witchcraft since she mentioned potions, so why not sell potions instead and make a profit instead of bothering with dangerous flowers that rarely anyone would bat an eye at? Although, admittedly, they are quite eye-catching.

Instead of picking something to bring home, he pointed at the plants. His brows furrowed and expression doubtful. “I don't mean any offense but... is there anyone that's even buying these..?”

She let out a hum at his question, as if mocking a thought but she already knew her answer. “Once or twice, if I'm lucky that day.” Despite the pitiful words, she didn't seem upset, only continuing to fiddle with other plants behind the counter.

“Most come here for these.” She swirled a strange concoction that also had a few petals inside a round bottle in her hand. She doesn't explain further, putting the glass down as she pruned some plants hanging on the stall.

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. She took notice of his action however and tilted her head curiously.

He bit his lip, “Nothing. Um, thank you for... indulging in my questions at this time.” He wanted to further interrogate her but he didn't want to look too suspicious. Other than her strange way of talking, she seemed pretty harmless anyway. What she was selling wouldn't be deemed as harmful either, considering she's put up warnings and has made it a point to make sure her surroundings were well observed so that no child could touch it.

“Why, of course. If you have any more, you know where to find me.” He swore she was winking under her hood with the way she moved.

He can't help but bit the inside of his cheek as he walked away, glancing behind him only to be met with the woman's curious smile. He quickly turned away and sped up his pace, flustered that he was caught.

Meanwhile, the cloaked woman stared at the prince who was quick to disappear into the bustling crowd. A curious one, she thought to herself. Perhaps troublesome, but it could be fun, wouldn't it?

She chuckled to herself at the thought, amused at how wary he was with her. She takes a seat on one of the baskets holding several other of her amenities. Guess only time will tell.

my favourite genre of x readers is making reader the mysterious one like wtf is up w this bitch?? ohh that's wtf is up w this bitch

[thearchivesofhalcyon]

DEMO (Updated: 14/02 / Chapter Two) | FEEDBACK FORM

You are living a good life, you can’t complain. As a government agent who works for a national security intelligence firm called Halcyon Tech, your position is the beginning of a bright future ahead and a name to hold, and you’re happy with that until your boss decides that it’s time for the Government and the Company to part ways. It was the day of your 24th birthday when you were caught in the middle of a war you didn’t want to be. And as if the gunshots were fireworks, they wished you a Happy Birthday, turning your life upside down. Now you find yourself entangled in a conspiracy theory that you thought could only be real in movies, and you have to fight against that to have your life back together along with your new team formed with old and new partners. Are you willing to protect the Halcyon secrets with your life? Or are you going to blow them up for the world to see?

Rating: 16+.

Content Warnings: Violence, Death, Alcohol, Sexual Content, Strong Language.

Select your gender, pronouns, appearance, sexuality, personality and backstory through your choices.

Have a little companion robot!

Be a proud owner of a pet that suits you, or be a plant parent.

Choose to take revenge on the ones who got in your way, or help them clean up the mess you all are involved in.

Build up your goals and motivations and see them grow real, or drag you to your failure.

Romance and befriend five companions: the stoic CEO of the Halcyon Tech Company; your charismatic, but stubborn best friend and sidekick; your unpredictable, ambiguous and charming commander; a shy, but overburdened agent with a mysterious past; and an genius with an easy-going personality and a tendency to make the wrong choices.

CONNOR/CORNELIA SUTTER | 28 | July 17th | PLAYLIST

While Connor has short straight black hair, Cornelia uses her hair in a short classic bob blunt cut, both sharing a bang that falls exactly at the beginning of their eyebrow. They have a pointed nose with triangular shape, dark eyes slightly angled to the sides with a gray glow in them, just like the shade of the clouds when a storm is forming. You also always take notice of the little mole under their right eye. They have sharp features, pale skin, and a slender body. Connor is 6'1", and Cornelia is 5'7".

Professional, reserved and distant, it’s a little too hard to extract any information from them besides what they care to give you about work since they’re undoubtedly cold every time anyone tries to approach. You always think they probably don’t have a life, since they often call you late at night for missions.

OLIVER/OLIVIA MADDOX | 26 | August 9th | PLAYLIST

Their appearance is made to stand out, especially due their height, Oliver is 6'4" and Olivia is 5'11", and their strong arms and broad shoulders. Their skin is tanned for the time they spend in the sun training, and while Oliver has straight short light brown hair although kinda messy, Olivia has shoulder length hair that often is seen in a messy ponytail, with a lot of strands escaping and covering her soft features. Their eyes are in a gentle amber shade, with long and charming eyelashes. They’ve a perfect smile with protuberant fangs.

Your partner in crime, and against crime too. Their charm is hard to resist, and they know how to use it. Without this facade, they are fiercely competitive and tease you all the time, being annoyingly possessive and protective.

ELLIOT/ELEONORA ADAMANTIS | 31 | September 7th | PLAYLIST

Elliot has medium length dark brown hair with a ghostly bunch of curls, and Eleonora has wavy long hair that ends around her waist, along with a long bang. They have eyes with a mix of green and brown depending on the light, but often the green wins. They are tall, Elliot is 6'2" and Eleonora is 5'9", and their body is noticeably muscular, with broad shoulders and back. Their left eyebrow is decorated with an evident scar, and normally Elliot has a bit of stubble on his chin and jaw.

Blunt, sarcastic and unpredictable, something in your mind always says that you shouldn’t trust them. They have the smile of someone who’s hiding the world, but still can convince you to do anything for them. You really don’t know how they manage to be so popular and part of the government, since they really don’t look like they care about people.

ALEC/ALEXA ORION | 25 | April 12th | PLAYLIST

They both have light blond hair, but in Alec’s case it is combed back with so much care that you don’t really know if his hair is straight or it’s just the gel, while Alexa is always with her wavy hair secured in a perfect bun. Sky blue eyes, beige skin with some freckles along their nose bridge. Medium height, Alec with 5'8" and Alexa with 5'4", skinny and with a vulnerable aura.

They always seem to be on edge. Contrary to what you might think about them because of their appearance, they’re a little stressed and impatient, and don’t like to be judged as a weak person. Even so, they usually try to hide their temper and keep a cool attitude — although it doesn’t work most of the time.

LUKE/LUNA ADLER | 22 | January 23rd | PLAYLIST

Dark brown and perfect clear skin, short height, Luke with 5'5" and Luna with 5'1", and a chubby frame. Luke has wavy shoulder length dark red hair, and Luna has long micro braids down until her waist, also dark red. Their irises are big enough to make the rich tone of their light green eye color almost glow, contrasting with the deep dark circles under their eyes. They have a few tattoos on their arms and puffy adorable cheeks.

They like to talk, especially when it’s something about their job or anything they understand well to form an opinion. Quick-minded, empathetic and perceptive, it’s hard to hide something from them, but it’s not like you need to. They are like a child. Or like a dog. Or like the two of them: a puppy.

[dunmeshistash]

Dungeon Meshi - "Dungeon Meals" from volumes 1 to 4

More info under the cut

Decided to compile the dungeon meals anyway. These are from chapter 1 to 28 (Volumes 1 to 4)

There were a total of 24 "meals" (counting the special panels) in the 28 chapters. Meal is anything that gets the named panel, so kelpie soap giant frog suit and Falin skeleton count (cause that's funny). I'm using EHScans pages because they have a better resolution usually (and for consistency)

Anyway here's the meals of each chapter and who made them.

Chapter 1 - Hot pot Meal: Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot Cooked by: Mostly Senshi but Laios started it.

Chapter 2 - Tart Meal: Man-Eating Plant Tart Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 3 - Roast Basilisk Meal: Roast Basilisk Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 4 - Omelet Meal: Mandrake & Basilisk Omelet Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 5 - Kakiage Meal: Mandrake Kakiage & Giant Bat Tempura Cooked by: Senshi and Chilchuck

Chapter 7 - Living Armor II Meal: Living Armor Full Course Meal, consisting of: Dwarf-Style Stir Fry, Steamed Living Armor, Living Armor Soup and Grilled Living Armor Cooked by: Senshi (Others helped with prepping)

Chapter 8 - Simmered Cabbage Meal: Vegetable Lunch, Fresh off the Golem Fields, consisting of: Simmered Whole Cabbage and Turnip Salad. Cooked by: Senshi (Others helped with prepping)

Chapter 9 - Orcs Meal: Stolen Vegetables, Simmed Cabbage & Chicken with a side of Plundered Bread Cooked by: Senshi, Marcille, Laios, Chilchuck, Zon and other Orc Ladies

Chapter 10 - Snacks Meal: All Natural♡Delicious Treasure Bug Snacks, consisting of: Treasure Bug Nest Jam, Coin Bug Crackers and Pearl Centipede Skewers Cooked by: Senshi (Laios helped by.. watching)

Chapter 11 - Sorbet Meal 1: Deluxe♪Multicultural Holy Water Cooked by: Senshi Meal 2: Protective Ward! Spirit Dispelling Sorbet Cooked by: Senshi and Laios

Chapter 12 - Palace Cuisine Meal: Palace Cuisine Full Course Meal, consisting of: Sautéed Fish with Soybeans, Pumpkin Soup, Fruit, Golden Wheat Bread, Golden cow Cheese and Roast Duck Cooked by: Palace Cooks? Painter? Magic?

Chapter 13 - Boiled in Salt Water Meal: Boiled Mimic Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 14 - Kelpie "Meal": Kelpie Tallow Soap Cooked by: Marcille

Chapter 15 - Porridge Meal: Zosui Made from Dropped Barley Cooked by: Laios

Chapter 16 - Broiled with Sauce Meal: Giant Parasite from Giant Kraken: Grilled Plain and Kabayaki Style Cooked by: Senshi (Laios Helped with prepping the skewers and ate one raw and suffered)

Chapter 18 - Grilled Meat Meal: Grilled Kelpie Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 19 - Tentacles "Meal": Tentacles With Vinegar Dressing Cooked by: Namari (with Laios instructions)

Chapter 20 - Stew Meal: Tentacle & Kelpie Stewed in an Undine Cooked by: Marcille (With Senshi's help)

Chapter 21 - Giant Frogs Meal 1: Tentacle Gnocchi Cooked by: Senshi Meal 2: Frog Suit Cooked by: Laios and Chilchuck

Chapter 23 - Red Dragon I Meal: Let's Cutlet the Dragon to Pieces! Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 27 - Red Dragon V "Meal": Falin & Warg Skelletons Cooked by: Laios & Marcille (Red Dragon helped clean up the bones really well)

Chapter 28 - Red Dragon VI Meals: Roast Red Dragon, Pizza Bread with Onions and Dragontail Soup Cooked by: Senshi

The chapters that had no "meal is done" panel were chapters

6 - Living Armor I

17 - Raspberries

22 - Above Ground

24 - Red Dragon II

25 - Red Dragon III

26 - Red Dragon IV

Mostly the multipart chapters, there was food eaten in 17 and 22 but no special panel for them, 17 is the titular raspberries and 22 the barmaids serve them a meal they eat right at the end

The chapter with more than one "meal" panels (not more than one meal prepared just more than one special panel for the meals) were:

11 - Sorbet with Holy Water and Sorbet

21 - Giant Frog with Gnocchi and Frog Suit

And the party stats are:

Senshi: 17 meals cooked, all of them food

Chilchuck: 3 "meals" cooked, 2 of them were food, 1 of them was a Frog Suit

Marcille: 4 "meals" cooked, 2 of them were food, 1 of them was soap and 1 of them was Falin skeleton reconstruction. She made the soap by herself and the stew mostly by herself

Laios: 5 "meals" cooked , 3 of them were food, 1 of them was a frog suit and 1 was Falin skeleton reconstruction. He also helped with 4 other meals (kinda) and 1 of them he made by himself (The zosui)

Out of the 24 meals in these 4 volumes, 21 were food and 3 were "other"

Out the 21 food meals Senshi made 17 of them, Laios made 1 Marcille made 1 and the other 2 was Namari and Living Painting Cooks.

I often get confused with numbers so if I said anything wrong feel free to correct me! Might do less volumes for the next post we'll see

[killpetewhite]

I hate this useless piece of shit animal I've spent all afternoon trying to beat his stupid face in with the magic of friendship or whatever this games tagline is and I keep on getting screwed over by his flying stars I hate him if I see a SINGULAR image of him with his roast beef vagina hanging out in the coming swarm of hype once whatever popular youtuber does a LetsPlay of this chapter I'm reporting the post and the blog and I'm gonna call a swat team on myself so every single screen within my abode gets demolished during the raid while they;re looking for the bomb WHICH I do have built but is already planted inside of Markiplier's home with the help of my L.A. gang connections and will be going off in abooout 30 seconds. 29 seconds. 28 seconds. 27 seconds. 26 seconds. 25 seconds. 24 seconds. 23 seconds. 22 seconds. 21 seconds. 20 seconds. 19 seconds

[aettuddae]

HONEYCOMB — chapter 1.

— summer, 2004.

꩜ synopsis: the lavier-choi's, a french-korean family from seoul's elite that runs an electric vehicle production business, has been preparing to face a looming economic crisis that could crumble their empire, and it all takes a turn for the worse when, unexpectedly, their patriarch, who headed the company, suddenly passes away. at the news and her mother's desperate call, albany, the eldest daughter, is forced to abandon her life in paris representing france as a professional fencer and return to her homeland to face her mom's old-fashioned whims in order to help the family. amidst all the frenzy, the only positive thing she finds is that, after years, she will be reunited with her siblings and all the friends she grew up with, especially the yu family from across the street.

masterlist | next

there are certain things that, as time goes by, you stop questioning. after your twenty-somethings it doesn't really matter what your favorite color is, or that kind of trivia you learn to ask as a child to start a conversation, there are different things to worry about, serious, adult things, like how you position yourself politically or whether you have a place of your own to live and grow old in, or what names you have in mind for your children. it's because of this abrupt reality in which she lived that the question of what her favorite season was hadn't come up in albany's head for years.

if she had to devote any of her time to that dilemma, perhaps now, at 28, she would choose fall. summer in paris was chaotic and as the years went by it seemed to get hotter and hotter, meanwhile winter was gray and depressing. fall was fine, damp at times, but still quiet and cozy at the end.

what she could be sure of was that as a kid she told everyone how much she loved summer.

in all honesty, everyone she knew in her hometown hated summer in korea. it has all the hallmarks of the worst summers you can think of, but albany used to love it.

when the vacations started, her parents would take them to spend it at the family villa in namyangju, it had been one of the many traditions they had for as long as she could remember.

two years before minho was born, the choi parents had bought this big house in gyeonggi, in the middle of the mountain and close to the river, in order to create memories with their children while they took refuge away from all the noise and frenzy of seoul.

of course, the chaos was still with them, it was just a different kind. as albany began to grow up and become more aware of her surroundings, she began to doubt that her mother as elegant, delicate and whiny as she was would have agreed to spend the wettest time of the year surrounded by nature, water and bugs. each year was accompanied by her squealing and annoyances that her father, an adventurer and lover of anything that required physical prowess, was unaffected by, as he was always on the move, ready to set off to embark on a new activity.

summers in namyangju were not relaxing, they were an annual survival camp.

and albany loved it that way, for most choi children had inherited, to a greater or lesser degree, their father's fearless nature. it was fun, it was exciting, for a moment she felt like one of those forest fauns she loved to read about and not the millionaires' daughter with a monotonous predictable life that she really was.

one of the things she loved most was hiking in the mountains, walks on which she always found fruits. her father had taught her about some that could be eaten and some that couldn't, and then she deciphered the others, as well as plants she learned to identify. she took them back to the house where she gave them to the chef to use, and by watching that lady she learned to replicate those recipes.

time also brought her minjeong, who even with that small body ate what sunwoo wouldn't consume in a week and loved the raspberry pie albany made. the little girl was not a good friend of nature, she tried, but it seemed that the outside world was too rough for her little legs still lacking in strength, so every summer, that her parents spent in the namyangju village of her best friends the choi's, she spent eating the dishes that the blonde-haired french girl had learned to make over the years.

thinking about her family also included thinking about the yu's, her parents' best friends who had such separation anxiety that they bought houses just one street away to spend all their life together. her father, choi junmin, had met yu suwon when they were both in high school and from there their friendship only thrived.

summers were spent with the yu's, christmases were spent with the yu's, the meaningless days of the dullest weeks of the year were spent with the yu's. of course the adults were always busy, but the children had been forced to fraternize to such an extent that they too became accustomed to it.

albany didn't know a life where she didn't cook for minjeong, even when she grew older, every time she returned to paris after a few days back home, she found herself baking raspberry pie with no one to offer it to. she couldn't go that long without making her angry or chatting with her about all the fantastic things they thought inhabited the universe apart from humans.

and then, there was jimin. albany didn't know a life without yu jimin.

her best friend in the whole world, her partner in adventure. the girl who climbed out of her window late at night just to talk until they both fell asleep, who had accompanied her to her first gala and who also went with her when she escaped from it. jimin who was there when her last baby tooth fell out and when she had to help her furnish her apartment when she had just moved to france. who used to accompany her to look for elves and who gave her her first 'spiderwick chronicles' book. in all her important moments, jimin had been there and vice versa, her first crushes, kisses, partners, her academic and personal frustrations, her achievements, albany's first fencing tournament, jimin's CSATs and the moment she found out she had gotten into the college she wanted.

when they started to get along, albany was a little older, always going everywhere with wendy and minho, but she didn't really talk to many other people who understood her impatient need, as an eight-year-old girl, to find a fairy among the flora of namyangju, so for three summers in a row, she kept running around, disappearing into the trees and bushes by herself.

until one day, in late july 2004, she wandered farther than usual from the house, finding herself at the entrance to a grove. albany was choi junmin's daughter, she had no reason to be scared, so with a firm step she headed for the logs, ready to catch this fairy she claimed she had seen a week ago, but who kept running away. the problem was that albany was not minho, so she was not completely junmin. she was also her mother eveline's daughter and she carried some of her fearful, sedentary genes in her, so when she saw a figure in the distance that was shorter than her, hunched over and with big ears, she froze in fear. she didn't dare go to capture it or attack it as her older brother would have done, she just stood static, keeping silent so the being wouldn't notice she was there. she crept away until she shot out of the trees and ran back to her family as fast as when she was playing soccer with the neanderthal she had for a brother.

but she couldn't leave it at that, she had found a strange creature in the foliage, she had to go back to investigate what it was, and if it was an evil entity, she had to make sure it didn't attack her siblings. so every day for a week, little albany went back to the same place, ready to face whatever that thing was, which was always waiting for her in that exact position she found it on. but she would freeze, couldn't get close, and ended up returning terrified and frustrated to the house.

one afternoon, now in early august, she returned to the grove. it was the same scenario that had been repeating itself lately, and the same reaction on her part. try as she might, she couldn't get her body to move in the direction of the critter that was standing there. disappointed in herself again, albany turned on her heels ready to go back to where everyone was. she was no longer running from fear, yes, she was still scared, but now she was just walking back crestfallen, berating herself for not being able to face the forest monster. but she couldn't run away that day.

"why you always come here?" a high pitched voice made her jump in place in surprise, followed by a terror running down her spine at the thought that perhaps the creature had heard the girl or her outrage.

"what are you doing here, jimin?" the older girl asked altered, rushing towards the newcomer to get her away from what she thought was dangerous.

"i followed you." she confessed, wriggling out of the blonde's grip and taking a few steps towards where her gaze used to be fixed, in seconds reaching much farther than choi ever had.

"viens ici!" —come here —. she whisper-shouted, rushing over to pull her away.

"what you do here?" the little girl spoke in vaguely understandable words. she had always been intelligent for her age, but she was missing a few teeth, making it difficult for her to enunciate.

"jimin, you can't be here." she took her arm and tried to walk in the opposite direction, but she got away easily.

"are you doing something bad?" an excited giggle accompanied her assumption, she wanted to be a part of it.

"no." she folded her arms. "it's dangerous."

jimin's eyes suddenly expanded and her posture shifted to a rigid one, her pupils probed the area for the threat. she brought her gaze upward, to albany's face, who because of the age difference was quite a bit taller, she looked uneasy. "what happens?" she muttered.

the older one just raised her arm and with her finger pointed to the figure that hadn't moved all week, leading the blackhaired's attention to it, who after analyzing it for a moment squinting her eyes trying to make sense of it, just said with a discouraging tone, "that short thing?"

"how dare you?" albany reproached in agitation. "it's small because it's a gremlin." she reported in a very low tone.

"what?"

"a gremlin." she repeated in the same volume.

"kremin." she tried to echo.

"gremlin."

"kemin." she failed again.

"nevermind." she dismissed. "they're little creatures that make mischief." she explained, holding the subsequent silence for a moment to look up and down at the eldest of the yu sisters. "just like you." she joked, causing jimin to squeal in annoyance and start hiting her shoulder. "se calmer, calm down!" she took advantage of the girl's closeness after her tantrum to tug at her clothes and hide behind a trunk with her. "it might hear us." she warned.

"you're bigger." observed the younger girl.

"and?"

"you can step on it." she assured.

albany contemplated it for a second, but her foot wasn't big nor her leg strong enough, so she shook her head. "i can't." she looked down in defeat. "gremlins are mean." she explained.

jimin turned to look at the taller one, crossed her arms resting her elbow on top of the other and bringing her fingers to her chin to hold it between her thumb and forefinger while emitting a steady 'mmm' sound that indicated she was thinking. "you and i." she pointed to the opposite and then to herself. "there are two of us and he is one."

"what about that?" replied choi confused.

"it can't beat us." assured the girl hurrying to walk in the direction of the creature, sure that albany was coming behind.

jimin walked with confident steps as her eyes scanned the ground for something, while the older one followed closely behind, her body bent over as if she wanted to use the smaller girl as a shield, anxiously letting out strings of words quickly trying to convince her to stop, but jimin was mischievous, the kind of child you would find hanging from the top of a tree without knowing how she got there, she didn't listen and when something got into her head, she wouldn't stop until she did it.

the older yu bent over to the ground to pick something, straightening up with a long branch held in her small fist and raising it in front of her with a proud smile to show it to albany.

"what's that?" the blonde inquired, still terrified.

"a sword!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"be quiet!" she took quick steps to her to catch her face and cover her mouth with her hand. "that's not a sword." she said softly.

"yes it is." she reiterated when she was allowed to speak and immediately gave albany a gentle whack on the forehead with the stick, pushing her away. "we will kill it with the sword." she reaffirmed.

jimin, again, slipped out of the blonde's grasp and dashed towards the gremlin with her branch ready to finish it off. "jimin, soyez prudents!" —be careful —. albany could be heard chasing after her quickly to stop her, but by the time she was close, jimin had already struck the creature with her so-called sword.

they both stopped suddenly, confused as they saw a large pile of leaves scatter in the air after being hit by the small yu and fall to the ground around the small trunk that seconds before they swore was an evil individual that was going to attack them.

"it's a tree." realized albany in embarrassment, realizing that her gremlin was just the base of a tree with some grasses around it that were tall and wide enough to look like ears, and the leaves that jimin had swept away created a hair-like shape.

"i don't think so!" denied the younger girl in a confident tone and impacted the trunk with the branch again. "yes it is." agreed when nothing happened.

"i got scared for nothing." lamented the blonde, annoyed with herself, and dropped down, sitting on the grass beneath her, an action that jimin copied. "thanks for helping me, though." she added after a few minutes without saying anything.

"it's nothing." she gave her a big smile without many teeth. "i protected you like a knight." she commented confidently.

"you don't look like a knight." she refuted with a laugh. "you're pretty and small." jimin furrowed her eyebrows and gave her a displeased sideways glance, she didn't like being called small. "you're more like a fairy." she corrected.

"then," she thought. "i'll be a fairy who protects you." she nodded her head, confirming her words. "what do you think, abany?" she had trouble pronouncing the letter L, so the name came out funnily.

"it's albany." she emphasized the letter she had missed.

"abany." she tried again.

"no, that's not it."

"bany." she sentenced. "what do you think, bany?"

"fine." she agreed. "you will be my guardian fairy." she put her hand on the top of her head, rubbing it and messing up her hair, but jimin stopped her by tapping her wrist with the branch she used as a sword. "can i borrow your sword?" she asked looking at the object.

"i'll teach you to use it." she smiled sideways.

and ever since that confrontation with a gremlin in the summer vacation of 2004, albany choi has not existed without yu jimin.

(!)

taglist [OPEN] : @cwpiqwon

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Chapter 29 - All My Bets On You

Series Masterlist

Author's Note: Think of reading things I write like a scavenger hunt where only I know what you're looking for. <3

Chapter Title from Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party.

Word Count: 26.8k

Chapter Summary/Warnings: You and Ben return home, and it's time to work. Usual warnings.

Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, fluff, angst, established relationship

Read on A03!

Chapter 28 - Chapter 30

Ben didn’t like having to hide Her.

He didn’t like keeping Her fucking secret. She shouldn’t be secret. Ben should be able to hold Her high to the sun, so she can be in a warm, clear, unwavering light that didn’t flicker or wash out a single feature of her perfect face. The lights of the airplane cabin and airport were too fucking blue, flickering and making everything have a sense of being artificial. None of this shit should be artificial, because this was the realest thing in Ben’s life, and he wanted to tell the sky and stars and every space between about it.

Ben should be able to stand up and fucking roar that She wanted him. That they were going to get married, and there wasn’t a single goddamn thing any pussy fucker could do about it, because She’d chosen him. She was wearing the ring Ben had bought her, and holding his hand, and sleeping against his chest. There was a little drool falling out of her perfect mouth and staining Ben’s shirt, and her arms were wrapped around his torso, and her completely relaxed face was pressed into his body. Because She’d fucking chosen Ben. He kept her safe, and happy, and made her feel loved like she deserved to be, so She’d chosen Ben.

And he wanted to fucking scream that. That the most perfect, beautiful woman to ever grace this stupid fucking planet wanted him. That every fucking way, She wanted Ben. And now Her beauty was everyone’s to see, but only Ben’s to hold. To care for and adore. Only Ben got to see Her wild, glossy eyes and her parted, swollen lips when he fucked her. Only Ben got to touch the softest, most vulnerable and delicate pieces of her heart and mind, because she trusted him to tend to them and sooth them over. And only She got to see the parts of Ben nobody had been ever meant to witness. The storm that she’d coaxed out of him, that would sweep over his body and make him momentarily so fucking weak, and that she’d wait out with him until it passed. She’d let Ben rest his head near Her heart—where he could be a little more certain she was real—and sing to him until there wasn’t a swell in his throat and the world wasn’t blurred around him. Until he stopped making wrathful, pathetic fucking sounds he muffled in Her skin, and then could stay there a long while after.

Forever. She was going to be able to hold Ben like that for fucking ever. She’d have likely done that anyway—Ben was never going to let that piece of Her, alive inside him, wither and crack and shatter—but now he’d be able to walk into a stupid, disgusting gas station and know that everyone could see She’d chosen him. Ben could pick her a million flowers, plant Her a goddamn garden—have MM plant Her a garden, Ben didn’t actually know how to do that—and if people tried so say something he could shout that it was for his wife. He was allowed to do whatever the fuck he wanted for his wife. Whatever She asked of him, Ben would do.

Because She’d still give all Her beauty away to whoever asked for it—She’d cut herself open and offer kindness to assholes who didn’t deserve it and motherfucking pussies who wasted it, wasted Her—but Ben would throw it right back into her. He’d give Her all the good things he had to offer, because he still didn’t really deserve her, but he did fucking love her, and Christ, he had to make that worth something. Make it worth what She was, which was everything. She was fucking perfect, and she was Ben’s, just as he was Her��s. Ben had Her, he’d always have her, and he would never have to be alone and hated again, because She’d looked at him and decided that he was worth loving a little more than she loved everything else.

A lot more. Ben was pretty fucking certain She loved him a lot more than everything else. That when She’d cling to his arm like he might drift away, or kissing over his beard with soft lips and mumbled words of affection that made Ben’s whole fucking body even more of a tool for her to use, it was because she loved him a lot more than anything else.

And now Ben had a hacked and carved out path ahead of them where he could keep loving Her until the world burned out. And everyone should fucking know. Everyone should understand that Ben loved Her, and She loved him, and that was that.

But he had to hide Her. Ben had to keep himself angled to block her from view, keep his own baseball cap tilted down to hide his face from view. To hide from every television in the Airport, all playing the same fucking lie, all with Sage’s eyes seeming to track them through the screens. 

The news had broken while they were still in the air. They weren’t even halfway over the Atlantic when She froze at Ben’s side, and he started to feel cold and sick. He’d turned to press for what the fuck was wrong—why her heart was set to a pace that kicked his own up and made blood pound in his ears—and she’d passed him the phone without a word.

On the screen was a photo of Sage standing at a news podium—her expression grim and dramatically pained—and a headline that made Ben’s teeth almost crack.

Sister Sage Accuses the Anomaly of Treason.

The article itself was long and pointlessly detailed. Half of it was just a useless and incorrect timeline of everything about Her, and it took Ben almost two fucking minutes to find what Sage had actually goddamn said. 

She was a terrorist. She had been behind the Believe Expo attack, and Tek Knight massacre, and deaths of Black Noir and A-Train. She was responsible for destruction of numerous properties—Vought, Government, and private owned alike—was a Deep state leader, and had been the mastermind behind the assassinations of Victoria Neuman and Grace Mallory in order to clear the path to the White House. She’d been intending to help her stepfather, Secretary Todd Muller—Sage had implied some truly fucking disgusting things about their relationship that made Ben see red—gain the VP slot, and Her next victim would likely have been President Robert Singer himself if Sage hadn’t outsmarted her and blocked Her plan.

But now Secretary Muller was out of the running—and under federal investigation for co-conspiracy—so Homelander was in contention for the position. And the only way to keep America safe was to appoint him to the White House, because She was evil and powerful, and wanted to take away American liberties.

Sage had apologized for keeping this information secret, but claimed that she’d been trying to prevent public distress or panic. That Vought had been working on a private operation to apprehend Her and bring her to justice following her betrayal of America and Homelander, but had decided She was too dangerous to be allowed to roam freely and without fear of consequence.

Ben was mentioned. She’d run away with Soldier Boy, and turned America’s Son and former greatest patriot into a socialist with the same manipulation tactics she’d used on Homelander. Gotten Soldier Boy to fall in love with her when She’d decided Homelander wasn’t enough for her, and was now trying to use him to fuel her fascist overtaking of the government. She’d gotten Soldier Boy to kidnap Ryan, and he was willing to work with the very people who’d betrayed him in the first place because She’d just sunken her claws that deep.

That last part wasn’t entirely a fucking lie. Ben was working with Butcher and MM and Annie, but Christ, he’d accepted that was his life a long fucking time ago. They weren’t going to put him back in the box, they didn’t even really seem to hate him anymore, and Ben didn’t really hate them anymore. They made Her happy, and that was what fucking mattered.

So She did, in a way, have Her claws in him. Ben would fucking burn the world for Her—he’d do anything for her—so he might have spared Sage’s words a moment of thought if they weren’t fucking stupid. Of course Ben would do anything for Her. She’d do anything for Ben. It wasn’t like she’d just smiled at him once and he’d become a pathetic fucking lapdog.

She’d been something angry and wrapped in fire and smoke, all of it turning Her hollowed and scarred and broken inside, and Ben had been atomic and vigilant and wrapped in blood and wrath, serving him like a shield that kept every pussy who’d try to use him out.

And She’d seen the rotten, furious and bitter parts of him, and not walked away. And Ben had touched Her fire and not flinched. Ben wasn’t worried that he’d ever start to burn without Her there, because he was more fucking worried She’d try to burn without him.

Sage hadn’t put that in her fucking speech. Sage hadn’t mentioned that She was kind, and hilarious, and perfect. That She was self-sacrificial and intelligent, and didn’t manipulate people because She loved people. Sage didn’t mention that She hadn’t stolen Ryan so much as offered the kid some fucking care and affection, or that She hadn’t gotten Ben to fall in love with Her so much as existed near Ben, and been too fucking perfect to not fall in love with.

But Sage hadn’t mention most of the truth. Truth didn’t seem to be something Sage was at all fucking concerned with. Sage alleged that She demanded Homelander give her the V, and only grown more power-hungry after. Sage still didn’t fucking admit that She was stronger than Homelander—who hadn’t been seen since Boston—only saying that She was “dangerous, unstable, and if seen in public should not be approached.”

All of which meant Ben couldn’t fucking tell everyone he was marrying Her. They were wanted terrorists—fucking again—so it wouldn’t be the smartest move to tell everyone in this parking lot that Ben loved with Her and was going to make sure everyone knew that forever.

The team would hear about it, when they got home. They’d probably want to talk about the current, pressing disaster, but they’d have to also hear about how She and Ben were getting married. It would take two goddamn seconds, and if Ben didn’t tell someone by the end of the day, he’d explode.

He’d grumbled that to Her in the car, somewhere on the tree-lined highway, and She’d giggled.

“You know we’ll still be engaged after we deal with this? It’s not something that’s going to expire.”

“When we’re finished with this,” Ben had grunted, squeezing Her thigh under his hand. “We’re getting married. Immediately. And I don’t want to deal with Hughie’s fucking bitching about not getting to be a bridesmaid with Annie on the day.”

“Huh,” She’d still been grinning, and titled her head in mock thought. “I thought you were going to take Annie. She looks good in a suit, and I think her best man speech would be really funny. But if you’d prefer Butcher-“

“Butcher is not my best man.” He’d muttered, shooting Her a glare. “I’ll eat a fucking bomb first-“

“Well he has to go somewhere. My personal vote is flower girl, but I think he’d be a little bitch about it-“

Ben had snorted, and tried not to get too fucking lost in this. How She was talking about it like it was real, and they’d actually have to figure out what to do about Butcher at their wedding, because they would. Ben got to live in a world where he’d have to have William fucking Butcher at his wedding, but he’d be getting married to Her, so it was still goddamn worth it.

And when they parked at Edgar’s farm, he’d kept his hold on Her firm, waiting for her to meet his eyes before he spoke.

“I’m going to tell them.”

She sighed. “I mean, I’m not going to stop you, but I promise you’ll still be able to do that when there isn’t a possible government coup to prevent.“

“I don’t care.” He grunted. “We’re getting married, and they should fucking know that.”

“They will know that, Ben, but it’s not the most pressing issue right now-“

“Yes, it is.” Ben scowled, leaning down to hold Her gaze with his, trying to fucking show her how serious this was to him. “I love you, and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem, Sunshine. Right goddamn now.”

She flushed, mouth falling slightly open, and nodded. “Oh. Okay.”

Ben hummed in triumph, pressing a small, soft kiss to her lips. “Good. Now let’s-“

He had to cut himself off with a groan, because Her hands shot into his hair as she began to try and climb onto him, deepening the kiss. Ben reacted immediately—grabbing her waist and hauling her onto his lap—and let her grind onto him as he matching every roll of her hips with a grunt and thrust until they were dry humping like teenagers.

And he didn’t fucking care. Every breathless sound and gasp of his name was more fucking proof that they belonged to each other. This could be sloppy and uncoordinated and made of pure fucking need and want, because it felt fucking good, and every touch of Her skin—in any fucking form—got Ben high and fueled his love into a roar in his chest he never wanted to silence.

Then Ben heard something crunch on the grass outside, and pulled Her tight into his chest. Sat up with her caged safely in his arms, his body blocking fucking anything that might try to hurt them. Ben might not have a gun, but he had himself. He had this strange new feeling of fucking harmony is his body, where the nuke didn’t feel like a parasite, and the drums didn’t pound and invade his head, but it was just a hum and rush of power. White-hot, blinding fucking power that was hanging off his ribs and alight in his veins.

She’d been instant they should train more, back here in Maine. Where if Ben blew something up, it would just be a tree and not a fucking house or city. And he was ready to get started right fucking now, if whatever was coming dared to even look at Her wrong.

There was a rapping sound on the window, Ben’s fury and instinct of care for Her. Protect Her and love Her and keep her safe prepared itself to shatter the glass and grab the threat by the throat, then immediately faded into the background as he saw Kimiko and Frenchie staring down at them. Kimiko waved and Frenchie tried to hide his rocket launcher behind his back, and Ben sighed.

Ben, who-

Kimiko and Frenchie.

She pushed off Ben’s chest with a whack of his arm, and twisted in his hold to sign at Kimiko with an apologetic expression. Kimiko signed back, pausing halfway through a gesture with an open mouth, and began to sign in fast, frantic movements.

Ben heard Her heartbeat pick up as she and Kimono continued their silent conversation—Frenchie mostly just looking between them and Ben—and frowned.

What the fuck is going on.

She didn’t look away from Kimiko’s movements as She responded in Ben’s head. Frenchie set some silent alarms around the property, we set one off and-

No, Ben grunted Her name in the silence, and Her flush deepened. Why the fuck does Kimiko look like she’s just been hit by a damn car.

She might have seen the ring.

The smug, wide grin that crossed Ben’s face—born from how fucking beautiful she was, and how stupidly goddamn alight his whole body was—could’ve powered a fucking country. It was all energy, all fucking love and visceral goddamn joy. It must have been contagious or something as well, because it made Her whole body relax in Ben’s arms, even as her heart picked up and she made a small, airy, needy sound that only Ben got to hear.

He started to stand, keeping Her carefully against his body and pushing the door open slowly enough for Kimiko and Frenchie to step backward, Kimiko’s gestures coming to a halt and her attention turning to Ben.

“Where the fuck is everyone else.” He grunted, stepping out onto the dirt road. “We’ve got news.”

She rolled Her eyes, Kimiko gave Ben an almost dry look, and Frenchie was very fucking obviously trying not to look at Her hand.

“Ah, we are up there by quite a bit.” Frenchie pointed further down the road, frowning at the tree line. “It is a little bit of a walk-“

“We’ve been sitting for like, fourteen hours,” She squirmed out of Ben’s hold, but still pulled his arm over her shoulder, holding him against Her. “I could go for a walk.” 

“Bien, and the car, Madame-“

“We’ve got bags in it,” She frowned at their stolen Honda, Her fingers tapping over Ben’s. “And they have some, uh, important stuff. So we probably shouldn’t just leave it-“

Kimiko’s hand shot up, and she made a quick gesture with a bright smile.

Frenchie shook his head, his voice tense and apologetic. “Mon Coeur, you cannot drive-“

“It’s not like there’s anyone else on the road.” She gave Kimiko grin and shrug, reaching into Ben’s pocket to pull out the keys. “She can go five miles per hour for all I care. As long as she doesn’t drive into the river, she’ll be fine.”

Kimiko nodded eagerly, gave Frenchie a smug look, and moved into the driver’s seat.

“I’ve got my fucking clothing in there-“

She cut Ben off with a wrinkle of her nose. “So have I, Benjamin. It’ll be fine, and you can either be a baby about it here, or come with me and tell everyone that we’re engaged.”

Ben scowled down at Her, and all She did was smile up at him, making his mouth twitch and that radiant feeling grow nuclear in his chest. It was golden, and simple, and so raw and natural Ben couldn’t remember what it was like to have it not living in his body. It was like a star that flared a little brighter under Her attention and love, and it was older and more powerful than any pussy fucking star could dream of.

“Brat,” he muttered, and even his voice sounded like it was crafted from pure goddamn adoration. Like Ben had taken every furious and rough part of himself and turned it into something better. Fury that wasn’t born of hatred, but love and a resolve to keep that love. Of a jagged, stone-like feeling in his mouth and throat that had existed from the start, but had been eroded and found an exception. Ben was wrathful and immovable, but he couldn’t be mad at Her. She giggled, leaning into his side, and Ben moved for Her. He took careful, measured steps that She could always keep up with, and never once let her think she needed to be anywhere but here. With Ben, going to tell their friends that they were going to get fucking married.

Ben had been ready for it to be the first words out of his mouth. To push open the screen door to Edgar’s rickety old farmhouse and yell we’re married, you asshole pussies, so come and tell Her you’re happy for her—They weren’t married yet, but that was just fucking semantics—but he hadn’t accounted for Ryan. The kid was bouncing on the stone stairs, his whole face lighting up when She and Ben came into view, and running at a slightly alarming speed to greet them.

“You’re back!” Ryan slammed into Her first, wrapping her in a hug that had to be a little fucking painful, but only made her smile and squeeze Ryan tighter.

This was very fucking dangerous to Ben. Watching Her smile at Ryan—running her hands through the kid’s hair and hum a soft song that made the whole world seem like it was glowing—made it feel like a real option to drop off the V, tell Butcher to get his shit together, grow some fucking balls, and kill Homelander himself so She, Ben, and Ryan could catch the next flight back to Rome. They could fix up the house more, Ryan could get first choice of a bedroom, and Ben could use retirement to fill up the rest of the house with happy kids that She could sing to.

But Butcher had also been trying to kill Homelander for more than a decade, and hadn’t gotten goddamn close until She and Ben came along. Mostly Her, but Ben had gotten pretty fucking close himself. Butcher, really fucking annoyingly, needed them to help, and the pussy wouldn’t even thank them, but Ben didn’t need his thanks. He needed Butcher to do his goddamn job, so Ben’s whole life could be watching Her and Ryan be happy, and giving them more reasons to be happy.

The rest of the team was starting to walk down the old road to join them, with varying levels of welcoming expressions on their faces. Ryan moved to hug Ben—the radiant feeling in Ben’s body flashing and making his skin feel clean and his chest feel prideful—as She moved a few steps forward to meet Annie’s hug, Hughie waiting sheepishly off to the side until She gestured for him to join them.

“How was Rome? MM said the villa wasn’t a trap, but was it, you know,” Annie pulled out of the hug with a tight expression. “Livable?”

“It should have been. Stan kept all his properties in condition, even the one’s he never visited.”

Ben head shot up at the even, cool voice of Victoria Neuman, and felt his arms tense around Ryan as he leaned forward in an attempt to get just a little fucking closer to Her. Neuman wasn’t a real threat anymore, but he still didn’t fucking trust her, and didn’t want her anywhere goddamn near his family. Ben could certainly fucking feel the wired, taut feeling in Her body as she took Neuman in, and hear the stumble of Her heart in her chest.

“Um, hi.” She pried Herself away from Annie, taking a small step back. Closer to Ben. “What are you doing here?”

“They did an evac operation.” Neuman shrugged. “While you were off in Rome getting engaged, we had to deal with the Mallory fallout. You guys never think about the wider consequences of all your various murders, so now everything is compromised, and the safe house isn’t an exception.”

“Meant to tell you before you got back, but shit got-“ MM cut his tired words off, turning to frown at Neuman. “What did you just say?”

“You idiots don’t have the foresight to be in the business of meddling with politics-“

“Nah, Head-Popper.” Butcher snapped, eyes narrowed and back stiff. “I heard that shit too. The bloody fuckin hell did you say about America’s horniest twats.”

Neuman let out a long, labored sigh. “I’ve told you not to call me head-popper, Butcher, it’s not even true anymore-“

“Right then, Vicky. The fuck you mean gettin engaged-“

“I mean that they got engaged. Does engaged have a different meaning in Britain that I’m not aware of? I mean,” Neuman looked around the group with a surprised expression, attention landing on Her. “You’re wearing a ring. You don’t wear jewelry, and that looks expensive, but you’re wearing it anyway.”

It had been expensive. It had cost a small goddamn fortune, and while there was a flash of satisfied, bright pride that Neuman had noticed, Ben was also going to fucking kill her. Neuman was not meant to be the one that told everyone about this. It was either supposed to be Ben or Her, and because Ben knew his wife—more importantly, because he knew that the only place words seemed to ever fail Her was in relation to Ben—it was supposed to be him. Now everyone fucking knew, and they were gaping like idiots, and Neuman was going to fucking die.

“I, um,” She took another step back as she spoke, directly blocking Ben’s warpath and keeping Her attention on Neuman. “I don’t wear jewelry because it will probably melt. And actually,” She looked to Frenchie, and Ben saw the flash of the metal as she pulled the ring off. “Can you work your magic and make this fireproof? I really don’t want to lose it and we might have already had a,” She cleared her throat, and Ben smirked at her pretty flush. “Close call.”

Her voice had been soft, when Frenchie nodded Her heartbeat slowed, and it made something in Ben yield his wrath. He couldn’t kill Neuman. He probably hadn’t actually been going to kill Neuman—mauling or terrifying had still been on the table—but now She seemed mostly just happy, and that’s all that Ben fucking wanted. 

Annie’s eyes moved to the ring—now in Frenchie’s hands—and she nodded slowly. “Wow. I mean congratulations, but also-“

“Wow.” Hughie echoed, offering Her a close-lipped, anxious smile. “Good job? Is that something I should say good job to? I don’t, uh, I’m not really sure.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” She said, kicking Ben’s shin as he opened his mouth to say it was a damn good job. Not the time, Benjamin.

They should be saying shit. Why the fuck do they all just look like dumb fucking pussies who’ve never heard of marriage before-

They’re probably just surprised-

Why the hell would they be surprised. Ben glared around the group, speaking with low, gruff words before She had a chance to stop him. “Are any of you fuckers surprised.”

A resounding, annoyed no echoed through the woods and fields around them, and Ben shot the back of Her head a smug grin that She must have felt, because he got flipped off a second later.

Not a word, Benjamin, unless you want to lose my favorite part of you.

Ben chuckled, his grin spreading. I fucking knew it was your favorite-

I was talking about your tongue, Pretty Boy. She took another backwards step, stopping at Ben side and looking up at him with a fake-sweet smile. What were you talking about?

Brat.

Cunt. Her gaze turned back to their friends, and there was a small, pretty frown tugging on her lips. “You guys aren’t surprised at all?”

“Nah, Love,” Butcher shrugged, shooting Her a wink. “I was in the hotel room next to you twats in DC. I’m mostly just fuckin shocked you came back from your sex vacation.”

“It was not a sex vacation, Butcher-“

Frenchie nodded in agreement, cutting Her off with a bright tone. “Oui, Madame, you do not need a vacation for sex. Sex can happen anywhere-“

“Like in my fucking gun range.” MM muttered, and Her face flushed.

“How did you, um, how did you know about that?”

“I told him,” Hughie mumbled, scratching the back of his neck as he gave Her an apologetic look. “I mean, not that you had sex, but that you were in the gun range and being kind of weird.”

“We were not being weird-“

MM scoffed. “I saw the security footage,” he said Her name with a pointed expression, She looked down at the floor, and Ben thought it looked a little like a father scolding his daughter for sneaking out of the house. “You motherfuckers were being incredibly weird. I almost threw up before you even started blowing him, and I had to clean my eyes with goddamn bleach after. And I only saw the first three seconds.”

“That’s,” She sighed, tapping her fingers against her palm. “Fair. Sorry.”

“Well, let’s fuckin hope you got it all fucked and out of your bloody systems,” Butcher’s grin becomes a little colder, more set and tight on his face. “Cause this place ain’t soundproof, and if you wake me up with your disgustin fuckin sex, someone’s gettin shot.”

“It’ll probably be you, Butcher.” She said, voice dry and bored. “I don’t think interrupting my husband while he’s balls deep in me is going to end well for anyone.”

Ben tried not to get lost in how fucking good everything felt. How the radiance in his body felt atomic, and might actually fucking be atomic. It felt in time with the nuke, like everything had a goddamn glow that Ben could reach out and grab and use to serve Her. Shield Her and fight for Her and bleed for Her. Protect his wife with, because at this point it was just a fucking formality that they weren’t married. If She was going to call Ben her fucking husband, he’d call Her his wife and never goddamn apologize for it. He’d fucking glow and burn and explode for Her, and then kiss her stupid and moaning after. Make her burst into flames below him and never flinch because the glow in him was for Her, and couldn’t be deterred by stupid shit like fire-

“Are you,” Ryan was looking between Her and Ben with wide eyes, and Ben almost missed his quiet, nervous tone. “Are you already married?”

“No, but husband is easier than fiancé.” She offered Ryan a smile, the kid’s whole expression relaxed, and Ben was going to fucking die. “Don’t worry, Ry,” Her voice dropped to a mock whisper, and suddenly nobody else was in the world but Her, Ben, and Ryan. “Ben isn’t going to let it be a secret wedding. Expect something very stupid and dramatic.”

Shut the fuck up, Sunshine-

No. She stuck her tongue out at him, Ben felt fucking high on how beautiful She was in front of him, and how bright she was inside him, and if Annie hadn’t started talking right then, he probably would’ve started fucking Her on the grass.

“Do you have plans?” Annie looked between them, her voice a little fucking weak, but still genuine. “For the wedding?“

“It’ll be after all this,” She gave a vague gesture to the air, Her beautiful face falling slightly. “Is done. I don’t want to get in the way of the mission-“

“Are we going to talk about the mission?” Neuman cut in with a dry, flat voice. “Or just keep standing here and talking about sex and weddings?”

MM let out a low, tired huff, and looked at Her with a weary expression. “Neuman’s right, we’ll have time for all the damn marriage talk after. Right now, we’ve got some heavy shit to go over. Let’s,” MM paused, looking around the sprawling farm grounds with a frown. “Where the fuck is your stuff.”

She sighed, looking down the road with a hesitant expression. “In the car, with Kimiko.”

“Kimiko ain’t able to drive, Love-“

“It’ll be fine,” She dismissed Butcher with a wave of Her hand, but Ben could still sense the anxiety around Her throat, constricting over his own lungs. “I can talk without props. Ryan,” Her gaze turned down, growing warm and soft as she reached out, holding Ryan’s face with a gentle hand. “Ben and I will find you after, but you can’t be in the meeting with us.”

Ryan’s eyes fell to the ground as he nodded, and She sighed.

“We trust you,” She whispered, offering Ryan a small smile. “But this isn’t something for you to worry about. If you have questions, I’ll answer them, but after. Okay?”

“Okay.” Ryan mumbled, glancing back to Ben—he gave a firm nod, that always seemed to help the kid’s anxiety—and sighed. “We can talk after.”

“After.” She said, and that was the voice She used when she made promises she intended on keeping. “You can ask whatever you want, and we have some stuff to give you-“

“Some stuff?” Ryan frowned, looking back to Ben with an uncertain gaze. “I don’t need anything-“

“They’re gifts.” Ben grunted, the radiance in him growing at how fucking adoring Her smile was, and how open and bright Ryan’s eyes were. “Go with Frenchie, kid. We’ll find you when we’re done.”

Frenchie nodded at Ben’s implied order, gesturing for Ryan to join him. As they both walked away—Frenchie rambling to a wide-eyed Ryan about fireproof alloy infusion—Ben wrapped his arm around Her waist and pulled her fully against him, kissing the top of her head as he glared around the group.

“Are we going to go the fuck inside, or just stand out here like idiots.”

Butcher snorted. “We been waitin on you, Soldier Boy, and your fucking emotional shit-“

“Inside.” MM cut Butcher off with a glare as Ben’s eyes narrowed, his hand clenching over Her stomach. “Let’s not murder each other before we even get to Homelander.”

Ben could agree with that. He would kill Butcher later—Ben was allowed to be fucking careful and gentle with his family, and Butcher should be real fucking grateful he was even allowed to witness their goddamn happiness, the bitter fucking pussy—but right now, killing Homelander was more important. Killing Homelander meant She and Ryan would be safe and She and Ben could get married without any fucking secrecy, so nothing was more important than killing Homelander.

Ben guided Her into Edgar’s rickety, piece of shit farmhouse, sitting tall at Her side around the well-worn, wooden table, and kept his hand on Her thigh as everyone settled down and the briefing began.

“The villa wasn’t lived in, and it didn’t look touched,” She started, tapping her fingers on the table as she spoke. “But it was clean. You said Edgar kept all his properties clean?”

Neuman nodded. “He might have had a crew come in just to make sure it didn’t fall to ruin.”

“That’s what we saw. A lot of things looked like they’d been dusted, but hadn’t been moved in, well, my lifetime. Most of our lifetimes.”

“Not Soldier Boy’s,” Butcher muttered, and She shot him a glare.

“Or yours, dickfuck.”

“I ain’t the one marryin you-“

“Watch it.” Ben hissed, and the radiant feeling becoming hot. Vigilant and loud, waiting for a reason to launch out of Ben with a boom and spread over the world.

MM sighed, running his hand over his face. “Can you motherfuckers try to keep it civil and not antagonize each other?”

She hummed in agreement, continuing before Butcher had a chance to make another jab or Ben could split Butcher’s head open on the table. “Butcher, I’m a big girl. I’m well aware of the age thing, and it’s probably the least fucked up thing about our relationship. Also, I think it’s hot, so you can shove it up your ass.”

Ben smirked, sitting up a little straighter, and squeezed his hand against her. I fucking knew it-

I already admitted that, Pretty Boy. And I’m mostly trying to shut Butcher up, so don’t get too smug.

Ben didn’t care what She’d been trying to do, because not only was everyone’s reaction more than he could’ve hoped for—red faces, surprised coughs, and picked up heart rates—but her words set off sparks in his gut and made something bloom around his heart. It was his usual, completely fucking unbreakable and wrathfully attentive love for Her, but also a raw and strange glow that was getting harder and harder to ignore. It was hidden under the radiance, and Ben didn’t want to glow—he wasn’t a pathetic fucking pussy who did things like glowing—but it was almost painful to pretend he couldn’t feel it at this point. That it wasn’t created and fed by how She was just as biting and avenging when someone stood against Ben as he was for Her, and She was fucking marrying him, and She adored him, and nothing could take that away from him. No one would ever be able to call Ben worthless again, because She’d kill them. Just like he’d kill people who called Her weak.

She looked like she was about to start talking again, but the door banged open and everyone started in their seats, guns clicking and raising, bodies bracing to fight whoever the fuck had just interrupted their meeting-

“You assholes are paranoid as shit, huh.” A-Train muttered, walking over to the table with a fearful Ashely a few paces behind him. “And thanks for telling us we were having a meeting.”

Annie scoffed at A-Train’s obvious, dripping contempt, crossing her arms as he and Ashley sat down. “We didn’t know where you were, and this is time sensitive. We didn’t have time to look.”

A-Train rolled his eyes, and Hughie cleared his throat with a shaky cough.

“Where, uh,” he swallowed, words sounding forced out of his mouth. “Where were you guys?”

“On a walk.”

Hughie blinked at A-Train’s flat answer. “Oh. Why?”

“None of your business, Hughie-“

“Can we please focus.” Neuman leaned back in her chair with a dramatic sigh, throwing her hands in the air. “We can all do group therapy after Homelander is dead.”

A-Train didn’t stop glaring at Hughie, but nobody pushed anything, so She took the cue to keep talking.

“Right, um,” She shook Her head, the tapping on the table picking up tempo. “The villa was in good shape, and we found Dr. Vought’s old study. Like I told MM, there was a large stash of compound V, which we brought about twenty vials of back-“

Hughie frowned. “How did you get V through security-“

“We didn’t go through security.” She said, looking around the table with a vaguely bored expression. “I mean, there was no world where we’d get through legally, V or no V. We’re walking weapons who don’t have passports. Sneaking onto a plane isn’t even in the top ten crimes we’ve committed, I think it will be fine.”

“But you’ve got it?” Annie asked, leaning forward on the table. “You’ve got the V here?”

“It’s in our bags.”

“Shit.” Annie turned to MM. “Has Frenchie told you when the drill will be ready?”

“What drill-“

“Frenchie’s been working on a needle drill or some shit,” MM told Her, and she nodded slowly. “Get the V into Homelander in one shot. He said a week, but I don’t think we’ve got a whole fucking week-“

“We don’t.” She muttered, and there was a faraway, set on Her face Ben recognized to be an idea. The final moment of Her clever fucking brain turning and clicking things into a pattern Ben never understood, but—usually—fucking worked in their favor. “If Homelander really is being tapped by Singer for the VP spot, from congressional pressure or not, we can’t wait for him to even get a confirmation hearing. But,” She swallowed, and whatever fucking insane thing she was planning settled in Her head, and all Ben could do was wait for Her to say it. “We need that drill. All we have to do is delay Homelander, and buy Frenchie enough time to get it right.”

Ben knew where this was going. Her breathing was falling into a mechanical rhythm, and the tapping of her fingers had started to leave marks on the table as curling smoke rose from her hands, Ben knew where the fuck this was headed.

You don’t fucking have to do that-

I do, my love. She gave him a small, sad smile, dropping Her searing hand over Ben’s. It didn’t fucking hurt at all—even when it might have before—so when She realized what she’d done and tried to pull away, Ben caught Her wrist with a scowl. Ben-

Doesn’t hurt. He searched Her beautiful, impossibly perfect and exhausted face for whatever words he could use to talk Her out of this, and couldn’t find a single goddamn one. Sunshine-

I’ll be okay. And it’s long overdue. She looked back to their slightly watching team, all wearing similar expression of blank confusion. “I need to come out of hiding. For good.”

There was a beat of silence as everyone stared at Her, and before they had a chance to erupt with stupid fucking opinions, She continued.

“I can do it here. We can find a blank, unidentifiable wall to film in front of, and I’ll say all of it. What Annie said, a little more, and what’s happened since. It will be a clear, obvious accusation of assault, abuse, and torture, and it will at least slow everything down.” She took a long, deep breath, her voice dropping to a whisper only Ben could hear. “It has to slow things down.”

MM was frowning, but he seemed mostly concerned. “It’s not a guarantee,” he muttered Her name, scanning over Her face with a firm, slow gaze. “And there will be a massive fallout. Fuck, Annie had a fallout, and that wasn’t a formal story. And Sage literarily just said her shit, people might call bullshit just on that-“

“People were always going to call bullshit.” Everything in Her—in Ben—felt exhausted and sick. Twisting and rotting in Ben’s chest as Her words became slightly choked and he had to just wait. He couldn’t kick everyone out to hold Her and remind Her she was safe, he had to fucking wait. “There was never a time or place I could say my piece, and have a perfect success rate. If there was, none of this would be a problem to begin with. And I can acknowledge Sage. I can admit that I am related to Muller, but also point out that he kicked me out and we hadn’t spoken for thirteen years. I can talk about everything. I don’t have careful moves to make like Sage does, I don’t have anyone I need to lie about or steer public attention away from. But,” She paused, a flash of panic shooting through Ben’s veins and up his spine as Her heartbeat sped up. “I want to get my siblings out. If I’m saying everything, standing in direct opposition of Vought and Singer, they’ll need to hide. Fuck, they probably should’ve already been hidden-“

“We can take care of that.” MM cut off Her spiraling, and Ben shot him a curt, appreciative nod, pulling Her a little close against him and rubbing patterns on her leg as MM continued. “Butcher and I got some contacts we trust with that shit, we can hide them. And Frenchie-“

“Oui?” Frenchie pushed open the door like he’d been fucking summoned, Kimiko right behind him. “What about moi are we discussing?”

“Frenchie,” She said carefully, eyes narrowed. “Where’s Ryan-“

“With the little Neuman.” Frenchie reassured Her, Kimiko nodding behind him with a kind smile. “They get on quite well, do not worry. What news have we missed?”

Butcher said to Her name, his smirk more tense than cruel. “Found a way to buy you time, Mate. Got the V, just need that fuckin drill.”

Frenchie gave Her a grateful nod before turning back to MM. “Is that all?”

“We’re gonna need to get her family out first,” MM grunted, and Frenchie seemed to understand in an immediate fucking second.

“Ah, operation Harrison Ford. Easy as a cakewalk, Madame,” Frenchie said Her name with a grin, and she blinked.

“We have an operation Harrison Ford?” Hughie looked around the table with an almost indignant expression. “Why didn’t anyone tell me we had an operation Harrison Ford?”

“You ain’t ever been a fugitive, Mate. Didn’t need it.”

Hughie gaped at Butcher. “I have definitely been a fugitive! Like, five fucking times! I’m a fugitive right now!“

“It’s for when we haven’t got anyone but each other.” MM explained, his tone slightly apologetic. “Last time we got people into hiding before we were wanted. Operation Harrison Ford is for when there’s no CIA to fall back on.”

Hughie looked almost crestfallen—Annie giving him a pat on the shoulder that was severely fucking undercut by her amused expression—and She cleared Her throat, pushing on.

“Do I need to do anything for operation Harrison Ford?”

MM nodded. “Get them all together and pass them on to me. We want this done sooner rather than later, though, so if you can round them all up-“

“They’ll be at my mom’s.” She muttered. “It’s just past the 4th, they always stay with her in July. We can go tonight-“

“Tomorrow.” Ben snapped, making his words stern and final, because She needed fucking rest. “We’ll go tomorrow.”

She sighed. Ben-

We promised Ryan, he grunted Her name between their heads, and Her tight expression faltered. It’s less than 24 fucking hours, we’ll be fine.

She nodded slowly—for once just letting Ben be right—and returned Her attention to MM. “We’ll go tomorrow afternoon. Anything else we need to deal with?”

MM frowned, his voice slow. “Maybe. You told me there might be the V formula there as well, you manage to confirm it?”

“No,” A brief glint of red appeared and dried on Her lips as she chewed them with her words. “But it would explain what Sage is after. If all she knows is the Cornucopia as an idea, she wouldn’t think it has multiple things. She’s after the formula.”

“Wouldn’t Sage know the formula?” Hughie asked, sounding doubtful his own question. “Her whole thing is smart, she could probably replicate it-“

Frenchie shook his head. “It is not that simple, Petite Hughie. Compound V is remarkably complex. There is a reason it took Vought so long, with so much money and testing, to perfect. My attempt was weak itself, and I am still not sure what I did wrong.”

“Well, no offense Mate, but you ain’t Sage-“

“Non, I am not.” Frenchie shrugged, seemingly unbothered by Butcher’s words. “But Sage is lacking the unethical testing Vought was granted by the Holocaust. And his first batch was, ah, famously unstable.” He shot Her and Ben apologetic expressions, words slowing. “It is not outside the realm of possibility that even Sage can be stumped. She may have hit a wall, or Vought may have done something odd enough to drive her cuckoo-“

“Sage doesn’t go cuckoo.” A-Train muttered. “She’s a vindictive fucking robot-“

“I’ve confused her.” Everyone’s attention turned to Her, and Ben’s could feel the sick feeling returning as she spoke. “She doesn’t follow things that aren’t in logical line. She doesn’t understand, um, love all that well, because it’s irrational.”

Butcher scoffed. “That’s bloody sad for the ice bitch, what’s that got to do with the fuckin V.“

“I’m not sure.” She sighed. “My point is more if there are things Sage doesn’t understand, things she can’t predict, and it’s usually things related to emotions. So,” She paused, frowning into the air, and turned to Ashley. “Who made the V at Vought? I’d imagine they had an NDA, but Sage and Homelander would be able to make them talk-“

“Nobody knew the whole recipe.” Ashely’s voice was unsteady, watching Her like the wrong word might end in blood. “When I got the CEO job they explained that it was manufactured in random patterns and parts, specifically so nobody could duplicate it. I think they even had fake factories and steps, just to throw people off.”

She nodded, fingers sitting suddenly as she turned to Frenchie. “I need the suppressant back. Soon.”

“Of course Madame, but I cannot recommend you, ah,” Frenchie glanced at Ben’s violent glare. “Continue with it-“

“It’s still not for me.” She squeezed Ben’s hand on Her leg in silent reassurance, and he felt his grip on her loosen. “Trust me. Please.”

Those words were mostly for Ben. They were Her asking him not to push back on her with this, pair with an implicit promise that she wouldn’t hurt herself like that again. So Ben slightly pressed his knee against Hers, holding Frenchie’s anxious expression, and gave a curt nod.

Frenchie nodded slowly, looking back to Her. “Oui. I will put it in the room.”

“The room? What room-“

“We’re stuck here indefinitely, Love.” Butcher drawled. “Lucky us, Edgar was a rich prick with a huge fuckin house, but we still gotta fit thirteen cunts in five bedrooms. You twats are bunkin with Ryan and I.”

Ben scowled. “Sleep on the fucking couch, you cockhead-“

“Nah, Gov. But if I wake up to you two humpin near my virgin ears-“

“We’re not going to hump in a shared space. With a child in the room.” She hissed at Butcher, and he shrugged.

“Caught you fuckin the bathroom before, shared bedroom ain’t a stretch-“

“Yes, it fucking is-“

“Hey!” MM hit the table, and her mouth closed with one last glower at Butcher. “Time limit, motherfuckers. You,” MM grunted Her name, glaring between her and Ben. “And your asshole get the day, then we’re driving to go get your family tomorrow morning. Frenchie, work on the drill, and the rest of you.” MM’s jaw tensed, his face somehow growing more fucking grim. “Get ready to fight. Once we’ve got it all out in the open, Homelander’s not going to take it down easy. And if Sage is after the formula, we don’t know why, and we certainly don’t have a goddamn clue how she’ll retaliate. So look alive, we’re going to have some work to do.”

They did. In the fucking morning—and not a moment sooner—She and Ben would have a lot of work to do. But until then they could spend the night however they fucking wanted.

“If we do want to fuck,” Ben lowered down to whisper in Her ear, well aware he could just use their brain connection, but enjoying the slight shiver of her spine and flutter of her heart too much to bother. “I’m sure we could find a spot in all these damn trees to do it.”

“Forests aren’t for sex.” She muttered, giving him a flat glare, and he winked right back.

“I’d fuck you anywhere, beautiful. I’d fuck you in a parking lot, or a shitfuck subway, or in the middle of a goddamn earthquake.”

She hummed, giving it fake thought with a tilt of her head. “I feel like the earthquake would actually help. With the tremors.”

Ben snorted. “How about a dumpster.”

“That’s disgusting, Benjamin.”

“And that’s my damn point.” He kissed the top of Her head, smirking against her hair. “I love you enough to fuck you in a dumpster.”

“Romantic.” She guided them up the stairs, looking up and down the halls with a frown. “As much as I’d love to have forest sex, we do need to find Ryan-“

Ben nodded—he’d find a place for them to fuck later, when everyone else was distracted and Butcher couldn’t be a massive fucking ass about Ben having sex with his goddamn wife—and latched onto the distant sounds of everyone’s moving about the house. It didn’t take long to find Ryan’s—another floor up and a little down the hall—and when Ben started to walk, She let him guide their path without a single step of hesitation. Just watching Ben with wide-eyes and clinging to his arm around Her shoulders, every feature on her perfect face relaxed and fucking adoring. Ben had a feeling they could be walking to goddamn hell and not just a bedroom, and she’d still let him lead the way.

And he had to keep fucking earning that. It wasn’t a task or trial that would ever be done, because Ben had created so many fucking messes that he could throw himself at her feet to be used as weapon and he still wouldn’t have fully earned Her. Worse, She wouldn’t accept that offer. She’d frown at him and ask what the fuck he was doing. Tell him that She didn’t want him to be a weapon, just to be hers.

He already was. There was nothing fucking better than it, than being hers. All She asked of Ben was to stay and listen, and those were the easiest things to do in the goddamn universe. All She wanted from his wasn’t glory or blood, but love and effort. Two things that should have been horrible and trying to give, but weren’t. It wasn’t work, to love Her—it was fucking natural and impossible to remember what anything had been before he’d loved her—and all his effort was poured into figuring out a way to fucking deserve this. Deserve the most beautiful, perfect woman being alive with him, choosing to be near him, choosing to love him, choosing to fucking marry him.

It could come in blood. There would be times where it needed to be blood on Ben’s hands and skin under his nails, brutally clawing and beating and bruising to keep Her safe. But it would more likely be things like this. Like hugging Ryan when the kid jumped up to great them—it was also easy to hug Ryan, it made Ben’s whole goddamn body feel prideful and his heart feel right in his chest—and meeting Her soft, happy gaze with a grin of his own. Listening to Her and Ryan talk about all the history shit in Rome as he sorted through their bags—trying to hide all Her soon to be destroyed lingerie from Ryan, and the semi all his ideas were giving him from both of them—and pulled out their gifts. Stuffed fucking animals, so simple and goddamn stupid, and entirely goddamn worth it from the surprised look of pure goddamn happiest on Ryan’s face as She passed him the lobster and lion. Happiness that somehow grew stronger when She made Ben show him the other lion and Her tiger. It leaked into the air of the room like helium, making everything higher and nothing in danger of coming down.

“Do you,” Ryan looked between them with a nervous expression, his words quiet and uncertain. “Do you think I could come visit you? When you go?”

She froze—her face sad and gentle and soft, full of something that looked like grief and felt like a warm ache in Ben’s body—and Ben answered for Her.

“We’re not going, kid. And if we do, you’re coming with us.”

Ryan’s mouth parted, and he still looked so goddamn nervous. As if Ben would ever fucking lie to him. “I am?”

“If you want.” She offered Ryan a sweet, loving smile, and Ben was in fucking danger again. “And if not, we’ll stay here.”

“With,” Ryan swallowed. “With me?”

“We’re not sticking around for fucking Butcher-“

She threw a pillow at Ben’s head, her attention held on Ryan. “Of course with you. We’re not leaving you.”

“Would I, um, why?” Ryan looked almost confused, like this was a trick. Like She and Ben were measuring his reaction, and this was some sort of fucking test. “You don’t have to, if you want to go to Rome, just for me-“

“We don’t have to. But we want to.”

“You want to.” Ryan repeated Her words slowly, still looking fucking lost and nervous. “That’s it?”

She looked over at Ben, and he nodded. He wasn’t even really fucking certain what he was agreeing with—he was too fucking lost in how beautiful She was and how good this was, how everything in him felt peaceful and content and nothing wanted to explode out of his chest—but She was easy around his head and always fucking right, so Ben trusted her to say what he didn’t have words for. That he wouldn’t say properly, say in a way that really helped Ryan. Ben didn’t know how to explain that this radiance in his body was about not feeling like he had to go. That it wanted—Ben wanted—to stay right here, and keep watching the two people who were goddamn worth anything be happy. Wanted to keep them happy. Wanted to let their happiness crawl into him and keep making him a weak fucking pussy who had a stuffed lion because his wife insisted he should get it for their son.

So when She started talking again, Ben knew she’d understand all that shit, and get Ryan to understand it as well.

“That’s it.” She echoed without any caution or reservations in her voice. “You’re a cool kid, Ry. I like you and so does Ben.” She dropped her voice to a mock whisper, leaning forward to Ryan like her words were a secret. “The lobster was his idea, but don’t tell him I told you.” She gave Ben a sharp, bright and sweet expression, and he rolled his eyes as her voice raised. “We’re staying with you, because we want to, and we like being around you. Simple as that.”

“Around me?” Ryan stared down at the floor even as he leaned a little further forward. Closer to Her. “But I mess up-“

“We all fucking mess up, kid.” Ben grunted. “There’s not a single damn person in this house that hasn’t fucked something up. You never tried to hurt people, Homelander was just a weak fucking pussy who didn’t know how to teach you shit.”

“But I messed up in Boston too-“

“Boston as well,” She gave Ryan a gentle smile with the correction, and somehow it made him look more comfortable. Ben didn’t get that, but it did. “And none of us were perfect that day. You wanted to help, and you couldn’t have been expected to know Homelander would follow you. At least you didn’t take a dangerous, volatile drug, unlike certain people.”

Ben got a pointed glare with no real anger behind it, and rolled his eyes. This wasn’t a real argument, it was meant to distract Ryan, and Ben could play along easily.

“Don’t act like I didn’t save your fucking ass with that, Sunshine. And now I’m fireproof, I should be getting twice the goddamn thanks.”

She gave him a teasing smile. “Why is that, Pretty Boy?”

Ben opened his mouth to snap because now when I fuck you, I can get you to burst into flames and nobody gets hurt but the pussy fucking mattress, realized he couldn’t say that in front of Ryan, and scowled. “Shut the fuck up.”

“You’re fireproof?” Ryan looked at Ben with fucking awe, and Ben felt his body grow a little easier to exisit in. “Is that your new power?”

Ben looked to Her for explanation, and she wrinkled Her nose at him.

Really, Ben-

You’re the brains, he grinned, saying Her name between their heads. Use them.

Cunt. She turned to Ryan, her expression immediately becoming sweet and gentle as she met his curious gaze. “It seems to be one of them. Or at least a higher resistance to the heat and flame. We mostly think it’s the nuke, in here,” She tapped Ben’s chest. “Fusing fully into his body.”

Ryan nodded slowly, looking over to Ben. “Does it hurt?”

“No.” Ben grunted. “Taking the V felt like shit, but I lived. Now it just feels normal.”

He’d probably have to give more detailed answers to MM and Annie later, for stupid fucking team purposes, but that was enough for Ryan, whose expression became eager.

“Are we going to train together? Can I help you with practicing stuff? If you want help, obviously, I just think I could throw targets, and be a target-“

“I’m not making you a fucking target, Ryan.” Ben made his voice stern, because this was the same fucking nuke that wiped out V and Ryan shouldn’t be anywhere goddamn near it. “But we’ll keep training.”

Any crestfallen defeat at the first half of Ben’s words were wiped off Ryan’s face by the second half, and the kids face lit up again. “Really? Even after my dad is gone?”

“As long as you fucking need and want it. Like she said, kid, we’re sticking around.”

Ryan got it. A small, nervous smile crossed his face, the conversation moved on, and Ben knew that—even if they were liars, which they weren’t—they’d keep this promise. Ryan would always have Her and Ben, and that wasn’t any fucking labor either. None of the things Ben had to do for Her or Ryan ever felt like labor. Doing things for them didn’t require thought or work, because it was simple and fucking right. Acts of retribution that were so small and fucking worthless alone, but build up and up and up until Ben was closer to their easy warmth. Never being afraid they’d toss him out or sneer at his offerings, because they weren’t like that. That was what the callous, greedy people Ben had surrounded himself with had done. Had never let it be enough, had made it obvious that acts of care were for the weak, and worth was won from spat words and traded blows.

But this worth—good worth, that was glowing and alight and content along Ben’s ribcage—was born from these small acts of service. From going to the strange, odd dinner with the team and sitting with his hand on Her thigh and his food offered silently to Ryan when they didn’t have enough for seconds. From playing the stupid fucking card game Hughie suggesting, and helping Her cheat because he’d help Her do anything. Taking Her and Ryan’s dishes to the sink and trying not to lose his fucking mind when She followed him without question, just to stay at his side.

Moving to the living room with most everyone else—Ashley and A-Train leaving to go do whatever the fuck they did, and Neuman muttering about getting a headache, but telling Zoe to just be in bed before midnight—and sitting in watchful, easy silence as She and Kimiko had a conversation made of giggles and smiles, and She moved herself into Ben’s lap, holding his arm over her stomach and sighing happily when he kissed Her neck. Listening to Ryan and Zoe tell them about how Neuman had lined up their curriculums, and now Ryan could learn to play the piano.

“I played the piano,” Ben grunted, and was met with shocked gapes he did not fucking appreciate.

“You did?” She leaned back on his chest, looking up at Ben with a sharp amusement dancing in Her pretty eyes . “Did you also play the trumpet?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Shut the fuck up-“

“Make me-“

Ben’s own grin grew to something that felt a little feral, and Butcher scowled.

“Don’t you fuckin dare make her, or you horny dumbasses are sleepin outside.”

She stuck Her tongue out, wiggling further into Ben’s hold and not fucking helping him at all. “You’re just bitter you can’t play the piano, Butcher. You can’t even keep a beat.”

“Fuck off, Love, you ain’t better than me-“

“On this I am,” She shrugged, a smug smile on Her face that made Ben’s own body start to flood with pride. “I can’t play the piano, but I can sing.”

“Singin from the V don’t count-“

“I could sing before the V, asshole.”

“You can sing?” Ryan’s face was covered in wonder, and Ben understood that. His face whenever he looked at her likely looked wide and a fucking dumbstruck as well, but also probably a lot less innocent.

She nodded with a soft, slightly tense hum. “Yeah. I don’t a lot, because things will, um, happen. If I do.”

Ben didn’t have to look around at the team to know that they were either flushed or grimacing at the memory of the illusion of Ben, dancing on the stage with Her in a way that friends or coworkers certainly weren’t supposed to. Ben was fond of that memory, because it was the first time he’d been fucking certain that if he tore through the crowd, picked Her up, and slammed his mouth to Her’s in a brutal and demanding kiss, She’d match every single touch and moan until they were fucking on the floor of that stupid club. He could also get that their friends might not have the same almost liberating light painted across their thoughts of it, just because nobody ever seemed to appreciate that She was a lot more of a horny fucking brat than they gave her credit for. Any jabs at Ben’s constant innuendos and hard-ons when She would so much as smiled at him would never really land the way anyone wanted them to, because She was worse.

Even right fucking now, as the conversation continued, She was squirming in Ben’s lap. Her heartbeat had picked up as he kissed a gentle, careful pattern over her jaw and kneaded at the skin of Her thigh, and Ben got a weak slap on his knee as Ryan pressed on with his questions.

“Like what?” 

“Illusions, essentially.” She shrugged. “As far as I’ve understood it, I can let off a pheromone that warps everyone’s senses within its radius. It happens when I sing, and, um,” She flushed, fingers starting to tap on Ben’s forearm. “Get excited.”

Fortunately for fucking everyone, Ryan didn’t press about what excited meant. He just swallowed, watching Her with a hesitant, hopeful expression. “Could you sing for us? If you, um, if you want-“

“I could.” She looked around the room, her heart picking up to a nervous, stumbling pattern. “If that’s okay with everyone-“

“Long as nothing happens like last time,” MM mutters. “I don’t give a shit.”

There was a low chorus of agreements, and she cleared Her throat, leaning further into Ben as she began.

It was a slow, sweet song that filled the room with golden light and an overwhelming smell of pine and vanilla and coffee. Her voice was just as beautiful as every other time She’d let Ben hear it—if anything it only grew stronger, steadier and more certain as she eased into the music—and Ben didn’t ever want to fucking leave this place. Didn’t want to stop feeling the perfect warmth she was creating around and inside him, or move from this place where the world was made of illusions, but She was still fucking real. Where Ben could hear Her voice echo and fill the room—sounding like everything good he’d ever known—and feel Her heart fall into a controlled but natural pattern with every breath and note. Where he could bury his face in Her hair and still manage to smell flowers and smoke and apples.

They had to move eventually. When the song finished, Ben could grin at Her and bask in how her own, cautious smile grew full and toothy as everyone offered her the praise and admiration she goddamn deserved. But then he had to carry Her to bed—She let him, resting her head on his shoulder and falling asleep before they’d reached the top of the goddamn stairs—and spend a restless night carefully covering her body like a shield. Keep Her safe from the creaking of the summer breeze and buzz of the night, kissing her brow when she rolled to face him and carefully wrapping his arms around her to hold Her in the dark. Ben knew every threat to Her was nothing but eyes blinking open and lost sleep before a long day, but it still felt right to be here. To keep Her peaceful, relaxed and content body from Butcher’s view, even if the pussy didn’t look at them as he shuffled into the room. To know that when She woke up, the first thing She’d know was that Ben was here, with Her.

At some point the sound of Her heart must have lulled Ben into rest, because when he dragged his eyes open after what felt like only a second there was cool, morning light past the blinds and climbing into the room, and She was watching him with an open, adoring expression.

Hi, Sunshine.

A small smile crept over Her face, and Her voice in Ben’s head was so full of love it was going to goddamn knock him out. Hi, Benjamin, my love.

He leaned down to kiss to space between Her eyes, letting his lips linger against her skin. What time is it.

Early.

What time do we have to go.

I don’t know. She chewed on Her lips, and Ben watched to run his tongue over them to soothe and slow her movements. MM didn’t actually tell us, he just said ‘in the morning’.

What the fuck are we supposed to do, then.

Can you hear him? Is he awake? 

Ben paused, moving his attention to the sounds of the house. Slow heartbeats and low breathes, soft shifting sounds as people tossed and turned, and-

Someone’s awake, he looked back to her, raising his brows. Don’t know who. 

She sighed, giving Ben almost a pout. We should probably get up, then.

Ben grunted an agreement, and neither of them moved. It was like that for a long while, Her and Ben the only two people in the universe, sitting in each other and not really caring to do much else. Only when Ben heard a second heartbeat pick up to a waking pace, closely followed by a second pair of footsteps beginning to move around the house, did he kiss Her on her brow and guide her out bed. They grabbed their clothing and moved to the bathroom, getting ready in silence and slow, deliberate movement so as to not wake Ryan or Butcher.

When they were dressed and—mostly—awake, Ben reached out his hand and She took it with a smile. Kept it in hers down the stairs and into the paint-peeling, gas oven kitchen, smiling when Ben kissed Her knuckles before rising up to kiss his cheek.

MM re-entered the kitchen, seemed to immediately understand their silent ritual, and gave them both short nods. There were four thermoses on the counter that MM filled with coffee—She frowned at them, then at Ben, and all he could do was shrug—and Ben grabbed two for them each, following Her out to the driveway.

The likely owner of the fourth thermos was waiting for them next to Butcher’s car, greeting Her with a bright smile and wave, and Ben with a nod that didn’t look like an effort.

She signed to Kimiko with a smile of her own, translating their conversation into Ben’s head.

Kimiko’s coming for operation Harrison Ford, as MM’s muscle. Once we get my siblings on board you and I will have to come back here to get the ball rolling against Sage, and she and MM will go through with the operation.

Got it. Ben frowned. What the fuck is the operation.

She gestured to Kimiko, who gestured back with what seemed to be careful, thought-out movements, and She nodded.

She says it’s mostly just hiding them in a really complex way. They’re going to take one of my families cars, swap it halfway, take the bus, change directions in a stolen car, and get them to some people MM trusts. She sighed, leaning Her head onto Ben’s arm. Overall, just get them somewhere safe so I can do my speech.

Ben grunted, looping his arm around Her waist to keep her steady. I’m driving back.

The fuck you are-

I’m driving. Ben smirked down at Her, tracing pattens on her hips. Or I’m not talking to you the whole ride so you can goddamn focus and not get us into a fucking crash.

She snorted. That’s a worse threat than withholding sex, you talk more than I do.

That’s fucking bullshit-

To me. She corrected herself with smile, leaning back to bump her nose against his jaw. You always talk to me. You wouldn’t last two hours without talking to me, or trying to get me to talk to you.

You willing to bet on that, Sunshine?

Feels like a pretty boring bet-

Whoever talks first gets head from the loser.

She gave him a flat look. Where. Because I am not fucking in the house-

Winner gets to choose where. He winked, kissing the corner of Her mouth. Get ready to give a blowjob in the forest, beautiful, I’m going to knock this shit out of the fucking park.

Ben knew that would do it. Her eyes narrowed, determination flashed—wild and sharp—over her pretty face, and she was on board.

Rules. She scanned over Ben’s face with an almost frightening focus, fingers tapping on his arm. Mission stuff doesn’t count. If we’re in a group we can talk, but it has to be relevant. No inside jokes or innuendos, and no nicknames. Nothing we wouldn’t say to each other as co-workers.

He nodded, dropping his mouth to Her neck. Touching?

She shrugged, even as her hand moved to grip at his bicep and Her voice in his head became breath. Long as you don’t talk about it.

What about this. Ben pressed his brow to the side of Her head, and she smirked at him, her voice becoming mock innocence.

What about what? Is there a name for what you’re referring to, Benjamin?

He rolled his eyes. Shut the fuck up-

That’s the idea.

Brat. 

Cunt. Say it. 

Ben scowled, and grumbled the word between their heads, doing his best to make it sound painful. Ben’o’phone.

She hummed, eyes dancing with a joy Ben could feel behind his eyes and along his spine. No talking on the Ben’o’phone.

Any other shit?

Nope. You’ve got a deal, Pretty Boy. She twisted out of his hold, extending her hand for Ben to shake. Get ready to never speak to me again.

He laughed, because there wasn’t a goddamn chance he’d let that happen. And Ben knew his wife. He knew that as stubborn as he was himself, She was worse, and was more than capable be a spiteful pain in his ass. If they got back to the farm from Boston and She still hadn’t said a word, Ben knew he’d end it. There were damn well worse fates than eating out a perfect woman who he loved, and one of them was never hearing Her voice again.

But this made the four hours stuck in the car with MM and Kimiko a fuck ton more interesting. MM had given the mission orders before they took off—this is a delicate motherfucking operation, so no murder, don’t be idiots, and listen when I tell you shit—and Ben had felt Her start to tug away from him, making a play to grab shotgun and keep herself physically detached from Ben.

Physical shit was Ben’s one fucking advantage. She could outwit and outlast Ben all she damn pleased, but She’d crumble if he touched her right. Turned Her into a soft, hazy-eyed mess in his arms, played with Her perfect fucking body until she caved and started begging him to just plain fuck Her.

So he’d kept Her body firm in his hold, and chuckled when she shoved his chest and stomped to the backseat as Kimiko dropped into shotgun. When Ben followed Her—scooting along the bench until their bodies were pressed together—she plain refused to look at him, and he started to run his hand up and down Her thigh. Rubbing Her skin until her breathing became ragged, but neither of them caved.

Most of the car ride was like that. Ben teasing Her in silence, Her pretending he simply didn’t fucking exist, and both of them pretending they weren’t constant goddamn seconds from caving. Ben knew for a fact that every smile he caught on Her lips and every flutter of her heart sent him barreling closer to asking what the fuck she and Kimiko were talking about and why she’d pointed at him. He wanted to know what the hell She was planning on telling her siblings, what She was planning on telling the fucking world, to drawl to Her about all the ways he wanted to fuck her with his new powers, because he’d been brainstorming, and he has some pretty goddamn amazing ideas.

And he was sure she’d want to hear them. Given that he could almost fucking feel Her own will bending and dissolving—warm in his gut and soft in his head as he teased and squeezed Her skin, moved his hand to just rest at the apex of her thighs—and her heart had reached a rhythm he usually heard during sex, Ben would call it a safe fucking bet that she was just as close to giving in as he was.

But neither of them did. And when MM cleared his throat, they’d made it three whole hours without saying a word.

MM grunted Her name, and she looked over to him with a frown.

“Yeah?’

“I still had Violet’s number from March, and I gave her a call last night.” MM glanced up to Her in the rearview mirror. “Gave her a quick brief, she sounded a little pissed you faked dead again, but understood. She’s bringing one of your brothers, but says the other one and your sister aren’t in Boston with your mom.”

“Where are we meeting them?”

“Coffee shop. Had croissants, and God knows I could use something like that right now.”

“Did she say which brother she’s bringing?”

“Got a name, don’t remember-“

“Henry or Sterling.”

MM paused. “Sterling.”

“Okay.” She sighed, slumping down into Her seat, into Ben. “What did you tell her, exactly?”

“We got you back around late May. Had you since, but couldn’t let anyone outside of our immediate team and contacts know for security. You’ve made a complete physical recovery, and are mentally stable enough for fieldwork. We’ve seen Sage’s propaganda, none of it is true, and we’re making a play against her and Homelander soon, so we’re putting them in hiding until this is done.”

She nodded with a small frown and slow words. “What about, um,” Her eyes flicked to Ben—just enough to make him really fucking regret this bet, because she hadn’t looked at him in hours and Christ, she was beautiful—and she swallowed. “Ben and I? I know Sage has said some stuff-“

“Violet asked. I told her you were together but I didn’t mention the engagement. That shit’s not my place.”

“And um, what did she say about that?”

Ben wanted to grab Her perfect face between his hands and tell her that there wasn’t a goddamn chance this was going to be an issue. If Violet had some sort of fucking opinion about it, Ben would do everything in his power to prove that he was serious about this shit. About Her. There was nothing bitter in him about it—he didn’t deserve Her, and he knew that Violet’s acceptance of this probably meant something to Her—but it still made Ben’s whole body strain. Scratch and twist to give up on this stupid bet and just pull every part of Her back to the ground so he could take care of them. Take care of Her.

It was real fucking lucky MM answered Her quickly, or Ben would’ve lost.

“She just asked when it had been official, I said a few weeks after we got you back, and that was it.”

She blinked. “Really?”

“Mentioned that she was surprised it wasn’t before all the shit in April, but that’s it.”

“Surprised-“

MM said Her name in a flat voice, eyes fixed on the road. “I still don’t think you fucking idiots understand that you were the last people to know you were dating. I’d bet Mallory’s agents knew before you did.”

“Oh.” She flushed, her hand wandering to hold Ben’s, and he wasn’t even damn certain she knew she was moving it. “Sorry.”

Ben’s jaw clenched, and MM did his work for him.

“Stupid thing to be sorry for. We’re all adults, we knew how to handle your lovesick bullshit without killing you.”

“I don’t,” She frowned, almost fucking pouting. “I don’t think it was that bad.“

MM scoffed. “You were oblivious. We had to pretend we couldn’t see you eye fucking each other over dinner.”

“But-“

“No but,” MM shook his head, and Ben saw his frown flash in the mirror. “What’s important is that you did figure your shit out, and that no matter what the fuck Violet thinks now or thought before, she’ll come around on it.” He let out a labored, slow breath, his voice dropping to a hushed, pushed-through-teeth tone. “I did.”

Her mouth fell open a little, her hand squeezing tight over Ben’s, and her words became soft as she whispered, “you did? Really?”

“He’s still a fucking dick man-baby, but his old ass heart seems to be beating. You’re not a shell of a person with him,” MM muttered Her name, looking between Her and the road. “It’s good to see. Even when it makes me want to throw up, which is all the goddamn time.”

Her body relaxed with her pretty features, she made a small, happy noise of content, and Ben couldn’t even be mad MM had called him a dick man-baby or old, because She was happy.

Ben tangled Her fingers between his, and—still in complete silence—she fully curled into him as he kissed the top of Her head. Ben didn’t bother with taunting, riling touched for the remainder of the car ride, because She looked so goddamn peaceful at his side and this silence didn’t feel like part of their bet. It felt like sitting half inside of each other, easily and comfortably fused against each other without the need for a single other goddamn thing. It was one of the moments where Ben could really fucking feel Her within him out of just an instinct. Feel Her—just so fucking clearly Her—inside his body. Alive and bright, lining Ben’s skull and burrowed so deeply into his whole goddamn world that She flickered in perfect harmony with everything Ben could see or hear or touch. She hummed inside his blood when Ben trailed patterns on Her skin, settling over his bones when he dropped his head to rest against hers, and grew sharp and colorful behind his eyes when she looked up at him a soft smile.

It wasn’t a smile that said anything expect I love you, but not in their old silent words. It told Ben She loved him because it made every piece of Her in his body sing. Ring like church bells announcing something that didn’t need to be announced, reaching further and further into Ben’s body that he didn’t know where his own joy stopped and Her own—built of a million things jammed and melded together that reflected around Ben’s mind like stained glass—began.

And Ben realized that She may feel him like this all the time. That there might never be a moment where Ben—and however the fuck he felt to Her—wasn’t tangible and natural in Her body.

He hoped She did. As almost fucking mind-numbingly consuming as She was inside of him—making it hard to concentrate on the trees blurring past into brick buildings and sidewalks—Ben hoped She felt him all the goddamn time. It would mean that She really, fully understood that Ben started and stopped with Her. That there wasn’t a single fucking moment where he wasn’t tracking the sound of Her heartbeat, or studying her face to try and figure out her insane, maddening, perfect mind. That he was never angry he couldn’t figure Her out, because it was simply another excuse to keep looking at Her beautiful face.

She knew that Ben loved Her—because apparently fucking everyone did—but he still needed Her to know it more. To understand that when he moved to help Her out of the car it was because he’d dedicated himself to knowing how She moved and paced and shifted so as to best leave small offerings of actions and service for his worth.

That learning Her had been the only thing that had ever come easy. The only thing he’d ever learned and never wanted to stop learning. That Ben picked up every strange, seemingly useless piece of information and trivia that fell from Her pretty mouth and used them to keep building his alter to Her. A large, careful place to worship Her that kept this piece of Her inside him safe, made it feel loved.

And Ben really fucking hoped She could feel that, for Ben, she lived every reflection of sunlight on the puddles, gathered on the pavement near the gutter. That She felt how Ben looked at Her—tucked at his side and tapping on his arm—and knew that his love could never be pried or ripped from him, because it was more important to keep than his own fucking hands.

His hands were already Her’s anyway. Brushing hair from Her face and lingering on her cheek. Holding Her own as they walked after MM, along the street to the coffee shop. Opening the door and guiding her inside. Ben needed Her to fucking feel that too.

Needed Her to feel how something in Ben grew wrathful and bloody when she froze at his side barely a step through the door—Her face washing in fear and her nails digging into his skin—and how everything in him narrowed to Her. What’s making Her cave in with hollow eyes and shallow breaths, and what did he need to do for Her to smile again.

The area was mostly empty. A barista with some of the pinkest hair Ben had ever goddamn seen, an old woman with a dog that was too fucking tiny to be useful, and Violet, near the back with two other people Ben didn’t recognize.

One had to be Her brother. Sitting next to Violet, with Violet’s softer features, a slightly different nose from them both, and Her sharp, infinitely amused eyes. They even widened the same way Her’s did, when she was in true, genuine shock, making their whole faces open and animated, lips parted with a gleam that said they didn’t fully trust what they saw.

But Ben didn’t have a fucking clue who the woman was. There was gray in Her hair—so probably fucking old—and her back to the door was rigid and straight, giving off a feeling that she thought she was better. That whoever the fuck this lady was, she was above everything around her, above everyone. That even the damn chair wasn’t worthy of her sitting on it. The whole fucking air of it reminded Ben of his father. Made him taste cocktails that were still sour because he’d been so young, and hear nothing but a ticking clock in a long, empty hall this father didn’t care to grace with his presence.

The person Ben had ever met who deserved to look down at everything was Her, and She was never fucking like that. Ben had called Her art before—beautiful in a way that extended beyond just what Ben could see, sinking into his skin and stirring his whole body with things only She knew how to pry out—but art wasn’t supposed to be touched. And Ben really fucking loved touching Her, the same way She loved touching everything. Settling in wherever she sat, tapping and running her hands over every surface available to Her, holding Ryan in Her arms and letting Ben hold Her in his. Letting Ben touch Her everywhere, and touching him right back. Fingers in his hair, and brows pressed together, a hand holding his arm over Her shoulder’s and legs tangled together under sheets.

Everything Ben had seen his father touch had been with movements of vague disgust, as if the lesser object or person would infect him. It was the same way this woman was keeping her fingers light and raised off the table, only moving in a rhythm Ben recognized. A rhythm that he’d learned to recognize anywhere, just one off-beat from the pattern being tapped on his hand on Her hips.

The woman turned in her chair as it clicked in Ben’s head, and fucking hell, She looked just like her mother. It was the almost same face Ben loved and could look at for a million years without ever feeling the need to stray his gaze or move, but with something inverted. Something so imperceivable that was altered between them, that made Ben feel like there was bile filling up his lungs and something churning in his gut.

Because the longer Ben looked—the whole room heavy and wired, time seeming to slow as they all stared at each other—the more he realized there was nothing alike about them at all. It might be the same face—a goddamn duplicate, everything from skin to eyes to lips to hair right where it was supposed to be—but there was something fucking off about Her mother’s. It wasn’t something obvious, like the fact that Her’s was trapped in youth and Her mother’s was lined with age. It was deeper. Something fundamental on Her that Ben adored and devoted himself to caring for, that was just wasn’t fucking there on Her mother. Not missing, not a hole or hollow Her mother had never filled. Just not there, something wrong where it was supposed to be.

It lived in their eyes. Ben knew Her face better than he’d ever known fucking anything, and her eyes were sharp but filled with light. When She was being herself and not falling or breaking, there was always something magnetic in them that spread over her every other feature, and made Ben want to get as close to her as he possibly fucking could. Reach out to hold Her, to sit in any warmth and life she offered him, to just fucking love her and love her and hope that, though she shined on everything, in the end she was really just alight for Ben. That for all the love She held, her love for Ben was different, because the light in Her eyes burst and flared and turned to pure flame for him and only him. That she’d never deprive the rest of the world of this kind beauty, but She’d also allow Ben to touch her and serve her, in a way no other pussy fucker got it.

Her mother shouldn’t be touched or cared for. There wasn’t anything in Her mother’s eyes that called Ben forward, because they were like a wasteland. They weren’t sharp, but they were still cutting. Invasive and so fucking horrible to look into. And where She was something strange and sacred, Her mother felt like a statue. Something that had been designed to be elegant, to be perfect and idolized, but hadn’t fucking earned it. It was only cold, too clean stone that had never crawled through mud or remained beautiful through trial and torture. Everything about Her mother seemed to demand everything bend for her will, but Ben had no fucking desire to do anything for this bitch.

The only goddamn thing she’d get from Ben was hatred. Cold, furious loathing while every warm thing he had to offer was pushed into Her. His hand held Her steady, his whole body tensed and half-wrapped over Her’s, fucking ready for whatever the hell came next.

They’d all silently agreed not to make the first move. She seemed frozen in place, Ben wouldn’t fucking leave Her side, and MM had muttered a low shit that told Ben he’d realized what was going on. Violet just looked sad and fucking guilty— eyes locked onto Her’s with shifting expression’s Ben couldn’t understand—and their brother looked just as frozen as She was, everyone seeming to just be fucking waiting for what Her mother would do.

Ben was only seconds from just fucking stomping over the room—keeping his body a pace before Her’s—and getting everything moving so this could be done, but then Her mother said Her name, and it was the worst way Ben had ever heard it. This had a scolding familiarity to it that felt practiced and deliberate. The Bitch said Her name like she was a fucking dog. Even fucking Homelander had mostly said it like She was a person. The wrong person—a hateful and fake idea of Her that held her face but nothing that made Her her—but a person all the same. Her mother said Her name as if She was a doll, and worse, it fucking worked. She folded back into Ben, Her heart racing and her nails digging into his skin, and Ben had to just hold Her.

Until he got the clear to start breaking spines and shedding blood over the tiled floors, Ben had to just hold Her.

The Bitch said Her name again, and Ben was going to rip out the bitch’s tongue and feed it to her. “Come sit down. I’m sure,” The Bitch’s gaze drifted to Ben, MM, and Kimiko, all silent and rigid behind Her. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

Ben squeezed Her hand, and it seemed to spark her into action. She nodded and moved to the table, tugging Ben after Her.

What the fuck is your mother doing here. Ben muttered between their heads, and if She was surprised he’d made the connection himself, she didn’t show it.

Violet says she got tricked. They said they were going out to get lunch, but Mom told them she wanted to come. They agreed with the plan to just drop her off and run, knowing she’d be fine, but then when they all got out Mom moved to the driver’s seat and said she knew they were going to see me. They had to bring her, or they wouldn’t get here themselves. No murder, let me do the talking.

Fine. Ben kept his eyes narrowed on the Bitch as they dropped at the table. But if she fucking tries anything-

I’m serious, Ben. No murder-

They were snapped out of their silent words by the Bitch, clearing her throat as MM and Kimiko joined them.

“It’s good to see you. You look quite healthy for being dead.”

She shook Her head slowly, taking a long breath before speaking soft words that didn’t sound right from her mouth. “What are you doing here, Mom? Why did you make Vi and Sterling bring you.”

“You’re my daughter, of course I wanted to see you-“

“We both know that’s not true.” She muttered, her voice rising slightly. “Please just tell me what I’m supposed to do, so I can get it over with.”

“There’s no need to be rude.” The Bitch sighed Her name like a wounded fucking animal. “We’re in no rush, and you haven’t even introduced us to your, ah, companions.”

“MM, Kimiko,” She pointed to them as she spoke—MM giving a cold, curt nod Ben appreciated, and Kimiko offering a nervous wave—before looking up at Ben with a slightly softer expression, made of something calm. “And Ben. Now can we-“

“Ben.” The Bitch repeated, and Her heart picked up pace. “How exactly did you meet Ben?”

“I kidnapped him. Mom, this is really important-“

“You kidnapped him?” The Bitch laughed, like She was some sort of fucking child. “You can’t kidnap Soldier Boy, sweetie.”

“She did,” Violet mumbled, still shooting them apologetic, anxious looks. “She’s a supe now, Mom. She’s strong.”

“I am well aware of that, Violet, but all she can do is party tricks. That isn’t enough to kidnap the world’s strongest man-“

MM snorted at that. “It’s not just party tricks.”

“Excuse me-“

“Sorry, ma’am.” MM shrugged, not flinching under the Bitch’s glare. “But I’ve seen her blow up buildings and make a whole building of agents collapse. Your daughter can do a hell of a lot more damage than party tricks. And she’s certainly stronger than this asshole.”

The Bitch followed MM’s gesture to Ben, and made another disbelieving sound. “I know my daughter, and it is incredibly unlikely she’d be stronger than Soldier Boy-“

“She is.” Ben snapped, barely thinking about the words as they left his mouth. “She’s stronger than fucking Homelander. So watch it.”

“Watch it.” The Bitch smiled, looking Ben up and down, and he didn’t bother to hide the disgust on his face. “You seem to be quite close with her, Ben-“

“Don’t call him that.” She leaned forward over the table, Her voice finally regaining to hot venom Ben fucking loved, and knew to mean she wouldn’t pull punches or dance around words. “Don’t talk to him, Mom. Just tell me what the fuck you want.”

Something shifted in the Bitch, and any formal, fake fucking niceties vanished. “I am here for answers. I am here for the reason you have put your father and I-“

“He’s not my father-“

“He is your family. And you have put him, put us, through hell these last few months. Media harassment, airing out all our misunderstandings like dirty laundry, painting yourself to be a victim when all you have done is behave like a child. You’ve hurt us,” The Bitch said Her name mock, cold disappointment. “You’ve been incredibly selfish, and I want to know why you’re now trying to take my children away from me.”

She gaped slightly, shaking her head. “I’m not trying to take anything from you, they’re in real danger-“

“Danger you created. There would be nothing to worry about if you could just bite your tongue and keep a good, strong head on your shoulders. But no, you have to turn this into some sort of spectacle-“

“I didn’t fucking do anything-“

“You most certainly did.” The Bitch sneered. “Just in the past month you’ve peddled manipulative lies, murdered that poor woman in cold blood, embarrassed Todd at work, and threatened him with, your loyal little guard dog. You’ve ruined everything, and have seen yourself fit to drag this strong, powerful man down your level. If you had just listened to me, none of this would’ve happened you know. You’d be taken care of, even if you were still just a weak little girl-“

The wooden table splintered as Ben hit it, shutting the Bitch up with a bloodless face.

“Last fucking warning,” he hissed, leaning forward so the Bitch could hopefully fucking feel the wrath and hate starting to bang around Ben’s chest in an even rhythm, trying to get out and protect Her. “I couldn’t give a goddamn fly pig’s ballsack that you’re her mother, if you say another word about my wife, I’ll fucking kill you.”

There was a long moment of silence, and Ben only realized his exact words after he’d said them. When MM muttered fuck, and She stared at him a wide, half adoring and amused, half pissed off expression.

Wife?

What.

Don’t play dumb, Pretty Boy, you’re bad at it-

I’m not going to fucking take it back-

I’m not going to tell you to take it back, but now I have to answer questions-

Almost on perfect fucking cue, Violet coughed.

“Are you, um, did you get married-“

“No. But someone,” She shot Ben a pointed glare, and he winked back. “Is a huge fucking dumb dumb with a big mouth.”

A big mouth you love-

A big mouth that’s going to get punched later-

“So you’re,” Sterling finally fucking spoke, and his voice sounded more like Her’s than Violet’s. With an accent that wasn’t placeable, but just them. Impossibly distinct, with every goddamn word they said sounding smart. “You’re not married to Soldier Boy.”

“Yet.” Ben grunted, and the looks on Her family’s faces were more than worth the heated slap to his leg.

“What exactly,” the Bitch said, her voice weighted and low. “Do you mean by yet.”

She gave Ben one last daggered glare before meeting the Bitch’s eyes, Her perfect face turning into something almost fucking prideful. “He means we’re engaged.”

Something flashed across the Bitch’s face that Ben didn’t understand. “To be wed.”

“That’s what engaged usually does mean, Mom-“

“Hell.” The Bitch shook her head, but she didn’t sound or look angry. She mostly just seemed inconvenienced. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to that woman.”

She, MM, Ben, and Kimiko exchanged similar what the fuck is she talking about looks, and Her words were careful and slow.

“What woman.”

“That haughty, annoying one with Vought. Sister Sage.” The Bitch waved her hand, frowning into the air. “I didn’t think you’d manage to surprise me and pull this off yourself, but you did, and if I wasn’t going to give her a piece of my mind before-“

“Mom,” She said, leaning across the table with a sharp, silent wrath in her eyes. “What the fuck did you do.”

“It’s what she did, dear. Breaching on our deal, turning against me just because of Homelander gaining what she called sense, but I call temporary cold feet-“

“Deal?” There wasn’t anything fucking hollow or nervous in Her voice. It was urgent, dangerous, and would be fucking hot if Ben wasn’t putting together all the pieces to reach a conclusion She already seemed to have. “What deal did you make with Sage.”

“Well, there’s no need to take that tone. And I didn’t think you’d be able to do this yourself-“

“Mom-“

“And it was a deal. We made a promise, a commitment, and there’s never a valid reason to go back on that. And especially not to throw us under the bus for their mistakes-“

“Ma’am.” MM jumped in, his face holding an equal anger Ben could feel in his body. “It is incredibly important you tell us exactly what Sage promised you, and what you promised her.”

The Bitch rolled her eyes, but huffed, “It was a handshake deal. I’d use Todd to make sure she got what she needed from the defense department and government, provide some chemicals she said were annoying to make or whatever, and she’d ensure your marriage to Homelander, which is all I’ve ever wanted for you! There’s no higher status than Homelander’s wife, but then they backed out, and Todd lost the VP slot! I never wouldn’t made it if I’d known she’d betray us like that, if I’d known your relationship with Solider Boy was real!”

Ben’s vision was lined with red, and he might break his own fists. That golden feeling over his ribs—atomic and wrathful and dedicated to fucking protecting Her all the goddamn time—was beating against him, trying to burst out and reduce the Bitch to just a fucking imprint on the wall.

But Her hand squeezed on Ben’s knee, and Her voice in his head was cold and steady I’ve got this. No murder. 

Ben grunted an affirmation—not caring if it was aloud or between their heads—and She took a labored breath Ben could feel the fury of before speaking.

“Are you insane.” She hissed. “You sold your soul to the fucking devil, and all you can think is that, if you’d known I was going to get married anyway, you might not have?”

The Bitch’s eyes narrowed. “I was doing what’s best for you. Even when you’ve been cruel to me, I’ve only wanted what’s best for you-“

“And you think that’s what’s best for me is marrying the man who kidnapped, raped, and experimented on me? And selling out the whole fucking country in the process?”

“Don’t be dramatic-“ 

“I am not being fucking dramatic. Because of what you did, stopping us from getting the federal supply of V, we had to get creative. Getting creative killed Grace Mallory, which lost Todd the VP slot, and now Singer might give it to fucking Homelander. Who is, in case we’re not clear, a fucking monster.”

“Please,” the Bitch gave Her a pointed look, and Ben wondered why he hadn’t already pulled out her tongue. “It’s not like Soldier Boy is an angel either, I’ve read the official Starlight reports-“ 

“Do not speak about him like that.” She leaned forward, her words almost spitting out of her mouth. “He makes me happy. He loves me, and takes good care of me, and doesn’t fucking try to lock me up and control me. He likes my temperament, he thinks it’s hot because he’s fucking insane, and I love him, and after I kill Homelander I’m going to marry him, and you’re never going to be part of our lives. You’re going to go with Violet and Sterling, and let MM hide you so the very people you sold your fucking daughter to don’t kill you, and then I’m never going to see your fucking face again. Violet-“

“We’ll go with him,” Violet said quickly, glancing at the Bitch—who looked like a gaping and cruel idiot—before looking back to Her. “But Mom-“

“She agrees to go with you, or she sticks around and dies.” She stood up, and Ben followed without a fucking thought as she continued, looking between her siblings. “I love you, and you’re going to be okay. I promise you’re going to be okay. I’m so, so sorry-“

Her voice cracked slightly, and Violet shot up, rounding the table and pulling Her into a tight hug. Sterling was close behind, and Ben kept a close fucking eye on the Bitch, in case she tried to interrupt this. But she just looked at her children, still in shock, and they pulled apart on their own time.

“You’ll be safe,” She whispered again, and when she took a shaking step back, Ben caught her and held her up. “I swear you’ll be safe. And when this is over, I’ll explain everything. But right now-“

“You have to go,” Sterling nodded, and he didn’t sound angry. “Violet told me what she knows, and we get it. You have to go.”

She nodded, giving them a soft, sad smile, and let Ben guide Her onto the street. MM and Kimiko didn’t need goodbyes—they’d see them again by fucking tomorrow anyway—and the Bitch looked like she wanted to say something, but was smart enough not to.

The Bitch should count herself lucky, that Ben cared about how he was beginning to feel sick and empty and cold—which meant that She was in pain, and needed him—a fuck ton more than he cared about wasting time on vengeance.

Right now, nothing mattered more than Her. Then getting Her into the car, and far, far away from what Ben couldn’t even fully fucking comprehend. Keeping his hand against Her thigh, trying to tide over the cracks he could feel beginning to lines his vision and the horrible sense of dread and wrong living in his blood.

Then, when She made a small, choked sound, pulling Butcher’s car off the highway and helping her climb into his lap. Letting Her bury her head in his chest and shatter there, where she’d be safe. Where Ben could hold Her in silence as she fell apart, then do whatever needed to be done for this to become fucking bearable.

Ben, I- Her words were almost fucking inaudible between their minds, Her gasps and strangled tears muffled against Ben’s body. I don’t know what to do. What do I do. 

He didn’t know. Ben didn’t have a goddamn clue what to do with what they’d just learned. But he’d be damned if he just let Her break further than she needed to. 

Whatever you have to. Tell Butcher, include it in your address, keep it a secret for the rest of goddamn time. Whatever makes this shit livable.

She sold me, Her sob wracked her whole body, and Ben almost broke his fucking teeth. She fucking sold me to Homelander, and I’m not even sure when she did it. It could’ve been months ago. It could’ve been when I first resurfaced, or right before the tower, or when I first fucking met Sage-

I know. Ben grunted in the silence, drawing circles on Her back. I know, Sunshine. I know.

She nodded against him, and Her breathing, slowly, began to ease. Her heartbeat became what it was supposed to be, and they stayed there until this she let out a soft, breathy laugh, turning the fabric of Ben’s shirt between her fingers.

“I’m not,” She shook Her head in Ben’s chest. “I’m not sure who lost. The bet.”

He let out a dry chuckle. “We could call it even and just fucking start over-“

“No.” Her answer was frantic but hushed, her face shooting up to look at Ben with wide eyes. “I don’t want to not talk to you. Not now. Please.”

He nodded, leaning down to kiss the space between Her eyes. “Okay, Sunshine. It’s off.”

She hummed, her hands moving to hold Ben’s face. “I could, maybe I could still give you a blowjob?”

“Do you want to give me a fucking blowjob?”

“Um.” She swallowed, flushing slightly. “Yes.”

“Do I get to eat you out?”

“Yes, please.”

Ben snorted, muttering an agreement, and he still wasn’t fucking sure how he’d gotten here. Having to pull his perfect fucking wife off his lap—but keeping their hands tangled together and resting on his thigh—so he could drive her home. Bring Her somewhere safer than here, so he could hold her right and clear her head while he still had the time. Whisper promises in Her ear that he’d die to keep, about how he’d give her better than that. About how, whatever came after, Ben would keep holding her and loving her, in a way that felt almost fucking pure.

Twisted and scarred and forged somewhere dark and burning, but still pure. Incapable of ruin, incapable of being tainted or broken, just fucking love. Just a future that was brighter than what was behind them, and a life where She’d always feel safe enough to break, and always be able to get back up after.

A future Ben really damn wanted, where Her and Ryan’s smiles were never in danger of being wiped from their faces.

Where Ben just kept loving them, and they felt it, and that was the whole fucking world.

—————————

There’s only one light, flashing from Hughie’s hand as he begins the recording, but it’s still blinding and cold.

You take five deep breaths, one for every good thing that you want to do this for. Everything you want to hold onto when after comes.

Ryan. Music. Stuffed Lions. Gardens. Ben.

Hughie gives you a thumbs up—a signal to begin—and you look to Ben. A step behind Hughie, watching you carefully with a grim, set expression. Everything between your bodies is straining to make you stand and move to fall against him, but you have to do this alone. Not fully alone, never fully alone again, but standing alone. With Ben inside you—rolling around the top of your chest and rumbling in a rhythm that feels like your name—but still too far to touch. To seek the comfort of him warmth and solid certainty.

But you can still feel his love and devotion. You’re wearing the ring again—twisting it on your finger as you take one last, long, steadying breath—and it’s just another way in millions to know Ben is her, and loves you, and will burn with you. No matter how this goes, Ben will burn with you.

So you can fucking do this. You have the slightly crumpled paper in your hands with everything you need to say, and now all you have to do is talk.

You start with your name, just for clarity and the fuck of it, and begin. “You know me as the Anomaly. And I am, but not by choice. I am the Anomaly because Homelander decided I should be. Because, four years ago, he kidnapped me, faked my death, and held me hostage on, likely, Vought property. I spent first two years in complete isolation, only seeing Homelander when he visited me to rape me.” Something starts to taste vile in the back of your mouth, but you have to keep talking. If you stop now, you won’t get through this, and you’ve barely even started. “I was kept locked up for the intention of breeding, like fucking cattle. Then, after Soldier Boy returned to America, Homelander became obsessed with immortality and I was moved to a Vought lab, and experimented on by Vought scientists in order to recreate the original formula of compound V, which slowed the aging process.

“It was a successful experiment. I was given my super name, the Anomaly, because I was injected with V four times, and developed four completely isolated powers. The pyrokenesis I am known for, which I used to escape captivity, a healing factor that has made me unkillable, empathy, and sensory manipulation. I am stronger than Solider Boy. I am stronger than Homelander. For the past year since my escape, I have been fighting Vought alongside Starlight and William Butcher, but have not stood in direct opposition to Homelander due to the former volatility of my powers. I was afraid of the man who spent four years sexually, emotionally, and medically abusing me. I am not afraid anymore, and I am ready to corroborate every accusation Starlight has made against Homelander, Sage, and Vought, and talk. These are my words. I wrote them, I am saying them, and nobody is making me. So, please, listen.

“I have been working with Butcher, Starlight, and their former CIA funded team, the Boys, since June of last year. In November, after we failed to locate a possible bio-weapon against Homelander, I pitched to then President elect Robert Singer and former Deputy Director of the CIA, Grace Mallory, that Soldier Boy be woken up and used as a weapon. My plan was approved, and he was woken up in early December. Per the plan, was to I live with him in a CIA safe-house and keep him in line until Ryan Butcher was removed from Vought Tower and we had a direct, clean shot at Homelander. Soldier Boy would remove his powers with the V-wiping bomb in his chest, and then be pardoned and sent off American soil to live in exile. Nothing went…” you trail off, glancing at the continually formal speech in your hands, and give up on it. It matters that this sounds real, and none of these words sound real.

Ben is real. You’re real. This pain is real, and so is your love. 

So you crumple the paper up, and look back directly into the camera.

“Nothing went as we intended it to. I fell in love with Soldier Boy. He fell in love with me. My original plan to extract Ryan Butcher went to shit, and I had to make another. That one worked, but I ended up back in Homelander’s captivity. My team found a way to safely kill Homleander, but Sage destroyed it all at the Believe Expo, which, for the record, was not a terrorist attack. It might have technically been a robbery, but it became a play to fake A-Train’s death, and help him escape. I remained with Vought to find an alternative location of our weapon, but failed to, and escaped. Once I was safe, I didn’t want to be in the public eye. I was broken, and weak, and too fucking tired to face this myself. I helped Starlight plan and write her address in June, and it was my idea to remain away from the public eye.

But more things kept going wrong. When we found another avenue to get our hands on the weapon, we were blocked by Singer and Secretary Muller, who, As Sage has said, is my step-father. I had not spoken to him in thirteen fucking years, and he has been in direct collaboration with Sage. She has tried to paint him as a villain, and he is a terrible man, but he’s also an idiot. I would never want him in a position as powerful as Vice President of the United States, and neither would Sage, which is why she has turned on him and paved the way for Homelander to take federal office.

“Homelander cannot be allowed to take federal office. He cannot be allowed within a hundred fucking miles of the White House. He is a monster. Since both my and Ryan Butcher’s escapes, he has not stopped trying to take us back, and has been willing to kill everyone we care about to do it. And I have not been fucking innocent in this. I destroyed the rec center at Victoria Neuman’s rally. I killed Firecracker. I did not commit the Tek Night massacre in New Jersey, and I did not kill Black Noir or Grace Mallory, but I was in immediate proximity to both events. Because of Homelander. Because I have been trying to save people from him, but I have cared, and he has not. He wants to control me, control you, and kill everyone who stands in his way. But we can stop him. We found our weapon. So, Vought workers, around the world, this is for you. Get out. Jump shipwhile you still can. If you have anyone you love, anything you care about, run. Now. If you take anything away from my speech, make it this.

“Almost every plan we made got fucked. Almost everything I said I’d never do, I did. And we’ve kept going. It didn’t matter what our public image was, or has been, or will be after this. The world will not be safe until Homelander is dead. And there will be work to do after, but right now, that’s all that matters. That’s what’s coming. And Homelander,”  you narrow your eyes at the camera, leaning forward. “Ben and I are ready for you. None of us are martyrs or heroes, but this is it. I’m stronger. Ben’s stronger. And we both have something to live for, and something to die for. You don’t have either. You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me, and this is it.” You raise your chin high, staring Homelander down without seeing him. “You turned me into the Anomaly. You drove Ben and I together. If you weren’t such a narcissistic sociopath, I’d probably be halfway across the world, writing academic papers and dating some foreign, normal guy. But now I’m going to kill you, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.” Your face curls into a twisted smirk, born from something like liberation. Like a million pieces falling into place as you turn your attention to Ben—pounding and rioting in your body—and see your expression mirrored on his face. “I’ll see you soon, Homelander.” You look back to the camera. “We both will.”

The light of the camera turns off, the video finishes, and that’s it. You’d done what you could, said what you needed to, and now all that was to finish it. To actually, really, kill Homelander.

Hughie’s talking about how he’s going to watch the video over and upload it. Butcher’s muttering that it wasn’t half bad, and Annie’s giving you a tentative thumbs up and saying words that are probably reassuring praise.

You can’t hear any of them. All you can hear is an off-key ringing in your ears, and the pounding of your own heart as your eyes start to blur and your head starts to turn faster than you can follow. You’d missed things. You don’t really remember anything you said, but there’s so way you got everything. The speech was too short, because you’d missed things that you probably couldn’t afford to miss. No, it was too long, because you’d spent time on semantics and details that didn’t matter. It was okay to mention A-Train was alive, you’d cleared it with him first, but you hadn’t mentioned Neuman. But Neuman wasn’t a supe, and she couldn’t defend herself. And she has a kid, A-Train doesn’t have a kid. But you also hadn’t mentioned Ashley, but she’s not that importance really, but she could be. She could provide key testimony when this is done, and you need that testimony, but you’ll also need A-Train’s testimony.

You didn’t think long term. None of this had been thought in the long term. You just accused Singer of something, by saying he’d blocked the V, and he’s still going to be president after this. You should’ve mentioned the Boys more, try to exonerate them of some of their crimes, so Singer wouldn’t turn on them as well. On you. You’d just confessed to murder. Multiple murders. There’s blood on your hands and there’s a crack that’s reaching down your spine and now there’s nothing left to stop Homelander from hurting people you love.

You’d confessed to loving Ben. You’d told the world you loved Ben. And you did. And you wouldn’t take it back. Everything is cold and you can’t really breathe, but you won’t take it back. You can fight Homelander now, but it still comes in waves, and you’re still afraid. You’d said you weren’t afraid.

It was a lie. You’re so cold and tired and afraid, and you strong but not strong enough for this, and you’d just said everything and now you can’t control what happens. You’d just strung up your guts and organs and skin for all the world to see, and they may not be as careful with them as Ben is. As you need right now.

Nothing is in focus, and everything feels like it’s being knocked out of and away from you, and there’s no more light here. There’s something good that’s touching you—rubbing circles on your cheeks, holding your face between big, warm hands—and something that sounds right saying your name, but you still can’t hear anything but the blood.

Blood. So much blood on your hands and this ringing is get a key off from something that’s haunting you, and you don’t feel broken but you’re still weak. Weak and covered in blood-

You hear your name in your own head, like a thought that you didn’t create, and things start to come down as it’s repeated. Over and over like a prayer until you begin to down to earth and you’re staring at a green that you know belongs to Ben.

Ben-

You’re going to be fine. You’re going to be fucking fine. It’s an order. He’s telling you that you’re not fine right now, but you will be. That, eventually, you will be fine, because there’s not another option. Ben won’t let there be another option. I’m here. I am right goddamn here, Sunshine, and you’re going fucking fine.

You nod, and drop your brow to Ben’s because it’s the only thing you know how to do. You’re still figuring out how to breathe—it helps to listen to Ben do it, because he does everything in such a firm and certain manner it has to be correct—and you can’t remember how to stand, so all you can do is fall into Ben. Stay here until your chest is falling into a pattern with his, and fold against him as he moves your head to his shoulder—pressing a soft, reverent kiss on your brow as he does—and pulls you into his arms. Let him stand up, cling to him like a lifeline, and listen to the grumbled exchanges around you.

“Is she-“

“She needs a minute.” Ben grumbles, his voice rolling through your body as he cuts Annie off. “You pussies do the plan, and we can hear it after.”

Your hands curl on Ben’s neck as you shake your head, finding to will and strength to move your head and meet his gaze.

I’m okay. You aren’t convinced by your own words, but you push on all the same. I’m really okay. We need to do this.

Ben scowls, and you can feel his ardor concentrate into something that’s coating over his ribs and trying to wrap over your skin. You are not fucking okay. You went fucking catatonic, that’s not goddamn okay-

I was not catatonic, you dramatic cunt. And I can make it through a meeting.

You can. You’re pulling yourself together. Wrinkling your nose at Ben—trading sharp words that have no edge with him—is something that you’ll always know how to do. That, somehow, grounds you just as well as Ben’s own stone resolve. You think it’s because it’s certain. You will always tease and mock each other, and Ben will always roll his eyes and glower, and you will always stick out your tongue and pout at him. And no matter what, he won’t go, and neither will you. There won’t be any lines for what you can and can’t say, because you both know it would probably kill you to hurt each other.

So you’re coming back to yourself, and it’s because Ben is scowling, and alive and loud in your chest.

I could fucking feel you, he growls your name in the heavy silence of the room, his hold on your body tightens. You need to rest-

I’ll rest after the meeting-

Or you could rest right fucking now-

Or I could rest after the meeting. Your hands move to hold his face, running his beard between your fingers as you offer him a sad but easy smile. We’re so close, Ben. We’re really, really close, and I need to do this. You can carry me upstairs and pin me to the bed to make me rest, after, but it has to be after. Please.

Swear it. Swear you’ll rest.

I’ll rest. I promise.

Ben’s jaw is clenched so tightly you’re worried he’ll break it, but you get a stiff nod as he sits down. Keeping you in his lap as he looks up, glaring at something over your head.

“Go get the rest of the fucking dumbass pussies. You get ten minutes before we fucking leave.”

“Ain’t you gonna say please, Gov-“

“No.”

You hear Butcher’s huff, and twist in Ben’s arms just in time to see him stomping away. 

It doesn’t take long to gather everyone. Annie, Hughie, and Frenchie are already here, Neuman, Ashley, and A-Train had just been waiting in the kitchen, and MM and Kimiko are still with your family, so within three minutes you’re all settled the living room, watching each other in a weary silence.

You do really want to just go rest with Ben, for all of this to be done, so you speak first.

“I have a plan-“

“Ain’t that a surprise-“

“Shove it up your ass, Butcher.” You flip him off without looking, and continue. “I’ve had a plan. It’s, it has kind of adapted to the cards we have, but it will work all the same. You guys,” your attention turns to Ashley, A-Train, and Neuman. “Need to make me a promise first, though.”

Neuman frowns, sitting up a little straighter. “What kind of promise could you need from us-“

“Mostly one about honor. Keeping your word.”

“That is so fucking vague-“

“It’s meant to be vague, Ashley.” A-Train mutters, glaring at you in a way that feels more cautious than hateful. “She’s trying to feel out how likely we are to agree.”

Ashley looks to you with wide eyes, and you sigh.

“I am.” Your words gaining a more urgent edge, because this is important. “But forgive me for not fully trusting you-“

“You tell us what sort of promise you need,” A-Train snaps over you, foot bouncing in his seat. “And as long as it’s not something really shitty, we’ll make it.”

You examine him, and he seems genuine. He mostly just looks tired. Done with all of this. You understand that, you can feel it in your bones and muscles, so you keep talking.

“I want your word that, when this is over, you’ll stay on our side. Go on the record and say everything you’ve seen and witnessed, about Vought and the government and Homelander and anything else. All the Red River shit, how you,” you nod to Neuman. “Were the Head Popper, and anything Sage ever told you. Say it again, under oath if necessary.”

Neuman’s eyes narrow. “And why would I possibly want to admit to be the Head Popper. Why would any of us want to admit anything-“

“Because this farm is about to be a war zone.” You keep your words casual and bored, but your gaze sharp. “And if you agree to work with us after, we’ll keep you out of danger and make sure your families,” you look to A-Train. “All your families, aren’t caught in the crossfire. We can negotiate your pardons and deals before we bring you out of hiding, or we can testify about all the crimes we know you committed and you just get locked up.”

“That’s not fair!” Ashley’s words are frantic. Panicked. “You’re trying to fucking blackmail us, that’s a fucking crime-“

“All of this is a crime.” You snap, giving Ashley a daggered glare. “But we’re about to be the people that killed Homelander. You can either work with us, or not. It’s up to you.”

There’s a moment of heavy, painful silence, and you’re not sure if they’re trying to call your bluff, but there isn’t one. You’re past bluffs, here. Now it’s just about survival, and knowing if you can trust them with anything.

Finally A-Train coughs, and something like lead dissipates in your blood.

“Fine. Deal.”

His tired, flat voice spurs Neuman and Ashley into action, and you get two more reluctant agreements. There will be more time for details later. What deals you can cut and what you’ll need them to take the stand on can wait, because now you have to talk about the plan. It’s immediate and so fucking fragile, and you finally have your shot. You can’t waste valuable time before you take it.

“Good.” You look around the room, tapping your fingers on Ben’s arm as you calculate every word, every risk, everything that could go wrong and everything that will go wrong, and still know that this is your best bet. This is what has to be done. “We’ll get them to a safe house with Zoe until this is over, and Homelander will come to us. It’s empty up here, and Edgar won’t miss this place if it gets destroyed in the fight. All his livestock died in November, and he’s not getting out of prison anytime soon, so I’m comfortable making this collateral. We’ll lure him, booby-trap the fuck out of the grounds, and disorient him enough for someone to get the drill into him. Frenchie-“

“It will be ready tomorrow. A projectile, and I can make many.” Frenchie looks around the group with a grim expression. “One shot. A single hit, and it will if my work is correct, wedge in his skin, and the V will be shot into his system by a trigger.”

Butcher frowns. “We got enough of this shit for mass production-“

“Oui.” Frenchie gives one, firm nod. “A small amount, a micro-dose, will be more than effective. Just one,” Frenchie makes a sound, miming a syringe. “And the fucker will go down like it is nap time, and he is having a sugar crash.”

“Awesome,” you chew on your tongue, squeezing your hand on Ben. “Then all that we’ll have to do-“

We. Ben grunts in your head, and you can feel something in him grow powerful and bloody. You’re not getting fucking near that Star-caped pussy-

It was the royal we, Benjamin. You twist in his lap, giving him a pointed glare. And I can fight Homelander. I’m stronger-

I fucking know that. I am not worried about how fucking strong you are, I’m worried about you-

“You twats care to involve us in your little fuckin spat?” Butcher drawls, and you turn to see him looking more annoyed than angry. “Cause if it’s ‘bout the bloody mission we’re all riskin our asses for, we should put it up for vote-“

“None of your goddamn business-“

“You don’t want her near the fight, Gov, ain’t that it?” Butcher smirks, but there’s something hollow behind it. “Worried she may get hurt when Homelander decides he ain’t playin nice? That you might lose ‘er because she’ll make some stupid fuckin sacrifice and you ain’t gonna have nothin left to live for?”

You think Ben is going to murder Butcher. And you might have let him, is you couldn’t feel the powerful and bloody thing start to rot. To twist and cave in on itself, and swing back and forth between a fury that’s pushing around his chest and out of his body, and a molding, aching pain that’s climbing up his spine and into his heart.

Ben. Is Butcher, you pause, waiting for Ben’s violet glare to turn to you and soften slightly. Is he right.

He’s tearing himself apart. There’s something like a tornado or hurricane in Ben’s body, and you can almost hear how it’s hurting him in his grunted, Yes.

I’ll be okay, Ben. I can’t die-

I fucking know that. It’s not- His scowl becomes mostly lines on his face, and his whole body is only made of the aching storm. I am not losing you.

You won’t lose me-

And I fucking know, and I don’t fucking care. He’s not yelling between your heads, but his voice is loud, and almost fucking hopeless in a way that breaks your heart. You’re more than damn stronger enough to fight him, and I don’t fucking want you to. You are goddamn capable and brilliant and strong, and I don’t want you anywhere fucking near this shit. You can’t start fucking breaking again and expect me to just be fine with throwing my wife into a goddamn fight with Homelander. A cowardly fucking pussy psychopath who’s not going pull punches, who’s going to try and take away the only two people I give a fuck about, the only people I’ve ever fucking loved, and if I lose them it will be my own goddamn fault for letting them get hurt when I should’ve fucking kept them safe-

You can’t let him keep doing this to himself, because you understand. You and Ryan are all Ben has, and he’s not going allow himself to put you in harm’s way. You can fight him on this, and probably win, and if something does, somehow, go wrong, Ben won’t ever forgive himself. He still hasn’t forgiven himself for the first time, and the second time would destroy him, the same way your second time had broken you.

And you’d stay with him. When you found your way back to Ben, you’d stay with him until the storm passed, even if it took a hundred years. He’d grow paranoid and wake you up with explosions of golden light from his chest, but he’d still be Ben, the same way you’re still you.

But if you can do anything for him, offer him anything that’s truly vital, it’s sparing him that pain. It’s bending, just for this, because you know Ben will fight with a clear, determined, focused wrath if he knows Ryan is safe with you, and you’re both far away from Homelander.

You don’t really want to see Homelander die anyway. There’s nothing sadistic or bloodthirsty in your body, because you’re so tired of pain and sick of blood on your hands. Hearing the words Homelander’s dead, seeing his small husk of a body, and marrying Ben in a world where Homelander will never hurt anyone again will be all you need.

So you kiss Ben in a soft, gentle way that makes his hands on your body relax and the mold in his body start to fade as the glow grows, and look back to your team. Waiting silently for you and Ben to finish.

“I’ll take Ryan. He and I will go with them,” you nod to Neuman, Ashley, and A-Train. “And hide until the mission is done. You’ll get the V into Homelander, Ben will blast him, and Butcher will shoot him. And that will be it.”

There are small, nervous nods, and Hughie clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck.

“What about, um, what about Sage-“

“I’ll take care of it. I just need a day.” You lean back into Ben’s body, looking around the room with your most firm, immovable expression. You might have copied Ben’s—a set jaw, deep lines on your face, and an unspoken glint in your eyes that says I know what the fuck I’m doing—but it does the trick all the same. Nobody pushes you, and that’s it.

You have a fucking plan.

Everyone shuffles off to eat or talk or pretend that Homelander won’t be here in before the week is over. That everything isn’t either going to have crumbled or begin to grow again, and it all rides on getting this right. On not missing, or fucking up, and having each other’s backs. 

It would be easy to spiral again. To drown in what’s coming, and every way I could go wrong. But Ben doesn’t waste any time, and before your brain can invite the doubt or panic knocking against your skull to be explored, he’s moving. Carrying you upstairs to your bedroom, kicking the door closed behind you, locking it without a word, and lowering you both carefully onto the stiff mattressed, itchy blanket bed that’s still comfortable, because Ben is here with you. Warm  and strong under your touch, muscles flexing whenever he breathes, and the only thing you might ever really need.

Neither of you look to move, or go further. All that feels necessary right now is to have Ben. To feel to drum of his heart when you rest your head on his chest, and the soft hair of his beard when your fingers drift over his face. To smell pine and coffee and strawberries and know that he’s here. That he’s safe and solid, and nothing is going to take this instinct of Ben away from you.

You think it’s all he wants as well. His hands are moving over your body, but the only heat they leave is made of affection and care. Ben’s touch always makes you feel loved, but this makes you feel needed. Like there’s a direct line from Ben’s fingers tracing up your spine and over your hips into your nerves, and it shoots every single piece of his love right into your brain. Assures you that Ben is as natural as breathing, and he loves you, and every beat of his heart belongs to you because every turn of your head belongs to him. That, no matter what comes, you really will be safe, because there’s no other option when you’re loved like this.

It’s silent for a long while—only the sound of bird-song out the window and Ben’s breath near your ear—and you’re not sure how much time has passed when Ben’s low, rough voice sounds in your head.

You find a way to get yourself fucking killed with this, and I’ll leave you, Sunshine.

You let out a soft laugh, propping your chin on Ben’s chest to meet his attentive, wrathful, painfully in love gaze. No, you won’t.

The fuck I won’t-

You won’t. You’ll get all angry and violent and sad and kill a bunch of people about it, and then get even sadder and angrier because you’ll remember I would’ve been pissed at you for doing that, and then you’ll go cry at my grave for the third time that day. You’ll be the mean, old, handsome graveyard coke-snorter, right up until the inevitable heat death of the universe finally gets your ass.

Ben scowls, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Everything in his eyes is made of that bitter feeling, but under it you can still feel the glow. Shining out and rushing through your body, making everything inside you soft and restful, but still alive. More alive than you’ve ever really been before Ben, and as alive as you plan to feel for the rest of time.

Nobody’s given me any fucking coke. He grumbles in your head, and you know he’s trying to change the topic. That the bitter feeling is born from the thought of your death, no matter how impossible that is, and you’re more than willing to abandon that conversation. You’d think for a bunch of goddamn criminals, these pussies would’ve found some coke-

I bet Frenchie has some. You smile at him, kissing a gentle line over his jaw. And if you asked very, very nicely, he might share with you.

Ben grunts, and hand moving to your hair to guide your face up, hovering right over his. “When this shit is over, I’ll get that coke, and we’re doing it together.”

“I love you, Benjamin, but I am not doing cocaine-“

He cuts you off with a soft, long, easy kiss, chuckling at how fast you fall onto him. How easy it is for him to touch your right and make you fold without any struggle, and how you have no desire to fight against that.

“It won’t do a damn thing to you, Sunshine, you’ve got a higher tolerance than I do.” He presses another, almost sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth, muttering against your skin. “And if it does, I’ll get to see you all fucked up again.”

You flush, dropping your face into his neck. Can we please forget that happened-

Not a damn chance. You can feel his smile as he kisses the side of your head, hear his amusement in the silence. Fucked up you was very open with me. She told me I was beautiful.

You are beautiful. You mumble into his head, tangling your fingers into his hair. So shut up.

I’m hot as fuck, darling. He chuckles, tracing patterns on your back. But you’re more beautiful. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever goddamn seen.

Ben-

You are. Don’t get all fucking modest on me-

You rise back up, holding Ben’s face between your hands and studying his face. You already have it memorized, every deep line and rugged feature and bright color, but you’ll never get tired of looking at it. Of looking at him.

I’m not modest. You kiss the tip of his nose, and Ben’s hands on your body still. I get to marry a very grumpy man who’s the most attractive cunt in the universe, and who’s willing to share his cocaine with me. Why would I be modest about that?

A low growl rumbles from Ben’s chest, and he flips you onto your back with a yelp. Caging you between the bed and his body, kissing everywhere he can reach on your face and neck and collarbone, grinning as you let out a high, needy sound and tilts you head back to grant him any access he wants.

Such a fucking brat, beautiful. He moves his knee between your legs, groaning as you start to grind against him. I love you so goddamn much, you drive me fucking insane-

“Ben.” You try to pull his face back to yours, your voice a breathless, pleading gasp. “No sex in the house-“

He crashes back up, his kiss bruising and turning your body into something molten and desperate for more. Singing just for Ben, Ben, Ben, who cares if Butcher walks in because Ben will shield you and you’re unraveling under him and you’ve never felt safer-

“You owe me a blowjob in the forest,” he mutters against you. “And I get to eat you out wherever the fuck you want-“

You gather all your will through your haze of Ben, and shake your head weakly. “Not here. Not now. But later, Ben, please, please fuck me, please-“

He pulls back, grinning down at your likely ruined and lustful expression, his love made of an awe you can see on his face and a devotion you can feel in his chest.

“Christ,” he says your name, and it’s the best thing you’ve ever heard. “You’re confusing your fucking self. You want me to fuck you, yes or no.”

You whine, and his grin grows, even as his tone becomes stern.

“Words-“

“I,” you pause, reaching up to just touch him, and shake your head. “Not now. After.”

He nods, and catches your wrist, moving your hand to his mouth and kissing over your knuckles. Where.

Can I think about it?

Ben laughs, and drops down to kiss you in an easy, slow way that doesn’t need to be more. You’re fucking going to anyway.

You will. Later, you’ll dedicate a whole hour to figuring out where you want to see Ben’s head between your legs, and where you want to scream his name. You already have some ideas, but it will need your full attention, which is something you can’t quite spare today. Because—once Ben decides you’re fully rested, and removes his weight from over your body—you have work to do.

Your speech hadn’t been a bait for Sage, but it would function as a lure. Something for her to latch onto, and want answers for. And sure enough, when MM and Kimiko return, it’s with news that Sage had called and demanded a meeting. Just you and her, on neutral ground, with terms of no Homelander, no Ben.

“There is not a fucking chance-“

You squeeze Ben’s hand, giving him a sharp but gentle glare. “I can handle this, my love.”

“I’m not worries about you handling it,” he hisses. “Sage is a manipulative bitch, and we don’t know what the hell she wants-“

“It won’t matter what she wants.” You shrug, looking back to MM. “Find somewhere quiet, maybe in Vermont, and tell her to meet me there.”

Ben growls your name, and you ignore him.

“I’m not stupid enough to fully go alone, so I’ll drive, drop you and my very grumpy, overprotective husband off somewhere close but not obvious for backup, and pick you up after.”

Everything in Ben stumbles and bursts into a consuming, bloody glow, and you know you’ve won. The moment you called him your husband you’d felt all of Ben’s will and fight dissolve, and you’re going to have to figure out a way to actually marry him by the end of the month, because his face might be the best one you’ve ever seen, this feeling the best one you’ve ever experienced. All you ever want to experience again. 

It only takes a day for MM and Sage to make arrangements. Sage keeps insisting to speak with you directly, MM keeps refusing, and eventually Sage relents with the condition that she gets to choose the location.

A little roadside diner in upstate New York, right off of a postcard and shielded from the sky by a green, overgrown forest that makes your breathing a little easier. The air is warm and a little humid from a storm that had left puddles in the parking lot and glittering drops on water on the windows, and when you park the stolen car—Ben and MM waiting at a gas station about ten minutes away and, hopefully, not killing each other—you take a long breath.

You have everything you need. You know everything you need to say. This will be hard, and then it will be over. All you have to do is move.

When you push the door of the diner open, small bell rings and the diner is mostly empty. You didn’t expected Sage to be here, you arrived an hour early in the very hope she wouldn’t be, so you sit at a corner booth that faces the door, and mostly just wait.

When Sage does arrive, she sees you immediately. A cold smile crosses her face as she drops down across from you, examining the table carefully.

“There’s no trap.” You say, keeping your voice bored and neutral. “It’s just a table.”

Sage looks up, her smile becoming snake-like.

“I’d apologize, but both you yourself and the company you keep hasn’t been known to be honorable. I’d have to be stupid to discount you putting a bomb under a public table, and I’m not stupid.”

You let out a dry laugh. “Big talk about honor, when I know the deal you made with my fucking mother.”

“I won’t apologize for taking an open opportunity-“

“Because you’re a fucking bitch.” You shrug, holding her gaze with your own, tired, flat one, tapping your fingers on the sugar shaker. “We both know you’re not sorry about any of this, and we both know that you’re a heartless cartoon supervillain, so what do you want.”

Sage’s lips curl into what might be the only real grin you’ve ever seen on her hateful face. “I really do like you,” she says your name, and you believe her. “I think, if you’d become a supe when you were a baby, we’d have been friends.”

“I like to think I’d still have a soul if that happened-“

“We all like to think things that like. But we’re just animals. Well, they’re just animals. You’re just an animal.”

You tilt your head, flagging down the waitress for two coffees. “And you’re not? You’re a god, like Homelander?”

“No.” Sage’s sounds almost amused. “Gods are still dependent on humans. To be created, maintained, remembered. I don’t care for that. What I care for is perfection. Something far better than humanity, something free of their selfish ignorance-“

“With the V.” You can’t stop your whisper as you put it together, watching Sage with a sharp, careful attention. “That’s why you want the V formula. To make more, and finish Vought’s plan with it.”

“Not Vought’s exact plan. He was caught in the primitive, pointless ideology of race supremacy. But this is about species supremacy. About human’s being ungrateful for what they’ve been given, and needing to be eradicated like the disease to the world that they are. But nobody is meant to know that yet. You…” she trails off, and her face curls into something that chills your bones. “You found the Cornucopia.”

Your silence is her answer, and she lets out a laugh that makes your skin crawl.

“I must say, you’ve managed to surprise me again. Putting that together yourself, and that video.” She shakes her head, looking you up and down. “That was one of the smarter moves you’ve made. I’m impressed.”

You hum, holding her gaze. “But?”

“But it was still reckless. I’d already planned for it, and although you said things I’d counted out, such as admitting to your affair with Soldier Boy, or to killing Firecracker, but I’ll adapt, and you’ll still lose.”

“I wouldn’t call it an affair,” you hum, frowning at the sugar shaker. “I’d call it falling in love.”

Sage makes a sound of amusement. “Love isn’t permanent. As I’ve tried to tell you, Soldier Boy will be a violent, angry man for the rest of his life. You’re the most powerful supe alive. You have the public in the palm of your hand, and you could spend all eternity making something perfect. You could go play house,” she gives the ring on your finger a pointed look. “With Solider Boy and the son of your rapist, or you could see what you can really do. Create a world without pain,  create a world with only pain, fix human’s messes for the rest of time or finally give up on them. I could cleanse you of your little pestilence of a team, hiding like roaches in Maine, and you could fight Homelander one on one. Give him the gruesome death we both know he more than deserves. You could even keep Soldier Boy as a pet, and still be-“

“If you say interesting.” You drawl. “I’ll punch you again. And Ben isn’t my pet, and Ryan isn’t just Homelander’s son.” You lean over the table, narrowing your eyes. “They’re my family. All of them. I don’t really want to see what I can do, Sage. I think I just want this to be done.”

“You truly do believe your love for Soldier Boy is an exception, don’t you. That it’s not just a temporary chemical reaction, that can be manufactured just as easily as a spoon, or diaper?”

You sit a little taller in your seat, staring down the obvious disgust on Sage’s face. “I think that you were right. That by all logical sense, I shouldn’t have ever loved Ben. But I do. And I will, long after this over. So speak very carefully when you talk about him, because I’m very forgiving of things you say about me,” you drop your voice to a hiss, letting a little bit of fire light up in your eyes. “But I will not be forgiving of things you say about him.”

“And that’s the thing, isn’t it.” Sage looks you up and down, and her voice almost sounds disappointed. “In the end you’re still too human. Too emotional. A worthy opponent, but still just a little too weak.”

Love hasn’t made you weak. If anything, love might be the only thing you’re certain makes you strong. Pulls you apart before putting you back together, just a little better and sturdier than you’d been before.

So you don’t break. You take your coffee from the waitress, and look back to Sage with your best, innocently curious expression.

“Can I ask you a question?”

If Sage is surprised by your pivot, she doesn’t show it, only nodding for you to continue.

“How smart do you think you’d have been?” You watch her carefully, leaning back as you add sugar to your mug. “If they hadn’t given you the V?”

Sage only shrugs, taking the sugar as you set it back onto the table. “That doesn’t matter, because we can trade hypotheticals all day, but in the end, I am smarter. Better. In the end, I’ll win. I’ll work out how to get rid of you when you become more of an annoyance than interesting, and you be dirt in the ground with your precious Soldier Boy. Just as love says you should be.”

“Or,” you watch as Sage pours the sugar into her cup, and look up at her with a wide smile. “I could marry him. And like an impossibly long, incredibly interesting life with someone who I love. I’d never be bored, but I would be happy.” You pause, looking Sage over with your best gentle concern. “Are you happy?”

Sage almost scoffs. “I am not concerned about happiness-“

“You should be.” You shrug, stirring a small spoon in your mug. “I’m happy. There are long, horrible moments where I’m afraid and in pain, but then I’m happy again. And I wasn’t ever sure I’d get that. A life where I get love someone like this, and they love me back, and, I mean, have you seen the Princess Bride?”

Sage’s mouth tics, and you know she’s noticed you’re running the conversation. “I don’t watch many movies. They’re pointless, and I have more important issues-“

“It’s a great movie. It was put into failed production several times before 1987, but the key was you couldn’t take it too seriously. It’s a love story, but it’s also an outright ridiculous drama-“

You’re cut off as Sage sneers your name, but you don’t drop your easy, blissful smile. “I know we both enjoy speaking, but I do have a company to get back to. Work to do. So if we could move on to discussing your video-“

“Just one second.” You keep your voice sweet and dreamy as you continue to ramble. “I got Ben to watch the Princess Bride. I think he might have already seen it, because he wasn’t paying attention, but he never pays attention. He mostly just stares at me and tries to pretend he doesn’t have a boner. I love him so much.”

Sage snaps your name, you ignore her, and she dumps half the canister of sugar into her mug.

“See, he thinks the whole pirate thing is cool. He told me that he’d make the best fucking pirate, and come right back to me. There wasn’t a damn reason to stay away for five fucking years.And I’ve told him that I agree. He’s fast and skilled enough to win the duel, and strong enough to beat the giant, and he already has the drug tolerance for iocane powder. He has the drug tolerance for most anything. There are actually only two things he can’t tolerate. Your gas, and my empathy suppressant. Nobody can tolerate my empathy suppressant except for me. Frenchie said it makes brains leak out of ears.”

Sage hums, looking vaguely interested. “An empathy suppressant? Does it severe the limbic system-“

“Bombs it. Entirely.”

“Which you would obviously survive.” She muses, taking a long, slow sip of her coffee. “But I would likely survive as well, given my targeted healing factor.”

“Maybe.” You prop your elbows on the table, your bright smile dropping to a crude grin. “Let’s find out.”

You see the moment it hits her. Just a second after the words leave your mouth, her eyes widen and she starts to cough. To try and push the coffee out of her system, her entire face covered in hatred and angry and fear—real, primal fear like a deer in headlights or a child who’s had a nightmare—and then nothing at all.

Frenchie had been right. It was instant, and something red was leaking out of Sage’s ears as she slumped forward, onto the table.

It hadn’t been fool-proof, your plan. You’d made Ben crushed up the suppressant with a knife—he was good at that, and you liked watching his arms flex as he worked—and filled up one of Edgar’s saltshakers. Swapped it onto the table, and prayed that Sage wouldn’t think you were that stupid. That if she thought you were going to kill her, that’s you’d be more calculated and careful about it. That she didn’t believe you’d do something so obvious and blatant, that you’d want more information out of her, that this whole thing was a genuine meeting and not an assassination.

Her brain shouldn’t regenerate, there’s none of it left, but you’re not going to take any risks. You drag Sage out of the booth—ignoring the silent, petrified attention of every other person in the diner and taking the sugar dispenser with you—and into the parking lot, finding a spot with no cars, no grass, and no wood before dropped her onto the pavement. You spare the sugar dispenser, and the suppressant inside it, only one look before they’re tossed onto Sage’s body, and you send both up into flames.

You can still feel Ben. You won’t be able to soon, you’d drank the suppressant as well, but you can know. He’s silently furious and made of a zealous, focused care that’s been bouncing around your chest since you’d separated.

I’m done. You mutter down your line, letting the flames move to your feet, letting people crowd at the windows and only focusing on how there is one less thing to be afraid of, and how Ben flashes through your blood as you speak. I’ll be there soon.

Did you-

She’s dead.

Good. Ben’s voice grunts in your head, and you can almost feel him. Over the smoke you can smell pine, and feel something warm that isn’t born from you, but still a part of you. Fucking bitch.

You let out a small, easy laugh. She was, wasn’t she.

Damn right she was. There’s a pause, and then, I love you. I really fucking love you, and I am ready for this to be fucking over. We’re going to kill Homelander, and never hear the word Vought again. Deal?

You probably look insane. You’re standing over Sage’s twisted and brunt corpse and letting the flames climb back over your body, sink back into your skin, and turn your clothing to scorched ash as you smile. A wide smile that covers your whole face as you live only inside your body, with Ben. In all his love, and how certain he sounds that, by next week, Homelander will only be a body with empty, cold eyes and you will live a long, happy, perfect life with Ben.

Deal.

End Note: Sage your funeral will be the most pathetic one in history mark my words. Also someone let Ben yell about getting married he's gonna lose it.

Thank you for reading!! If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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[gmasttin]

Really Good, Actually | Kylian Mbappé

| Summary: A Madrid-based creative unexpectedly finds herself leading the rebranding of Kylian Mbappé. Between cold coffees, impossible deadlines, and tense creative sessions, something more than just a campaign begins to take shape. An ironic, intimate, and emotionally sharp story about the chaos of feeling alive just when you thought you were only surviving.

| Chapter 2 is already out!!

| 3.6k words

| A/n: I read the book “Really Good, Actually” by Monica Heisey and after binging a bunch of romcoms, I decided to finally start and post one. A lighthearted story, with some romcom vibes, that I’d actually been thinking about writing for quite a while. I hope you enjoy it, and sorry for any mistakes, it's the first one I've ever written and as it's obvious, English is not my first language. Enjoy <3.

Chapter 1

Back when life was simpler, and all you had to worry about were Tupperware containers, briefs, and whether you’d make it to the 7 p.m. Pilates class.

Some mornings, you wake up with this strange sense of clarity, like everything’s aligned. The coffee’s just right, the subway arrives on time, no one crushes your toes with a pair of impossible stilettos in their rushed way to their fancy offices.

This is not one of those mornings. You’re not sure if it’s because of the weird dream (the one where you’re marrying Louis, your ex, except he’s the one wearing that wedding dress you kept eyeing, and of course, his mother steals your spot at the altar), or because you ended up arguing with your own mother again, over text, at 12:47 a.m.

But something’s off.

You feel it in the way your toothbrush slips out of your hand, at least three times. Or how your coat gets caught on the door handle right when you’re running late. Also in the fact that, for some reason, you’re wearing two completely different shoes and don’t notice until you’re already in the elevator.

You don’t go back to change them. After all, no one looks at your feet in a marketing agency. Unless you work in fashion. And you don’t work in fashion.

You work in “emotionally driven brand storytelling strategy.” Which is just a fancy way of saying you come up with excuses for people to buy things they don’t need.

At 9:08, you get to the office. You know this because the biometric check-in clock reminds you, like a threat. You throw on your jacket with the defeated air of someone who already knows there’s no hot coffee left for her.

There are two people in the office's kitchen: Lucía, who always looks like she’s either about to cry or fall in love, and Guillermo, who speaks with an exaggeratedly British accent that no one really understands.

“Morning,” he says without looking up from his phone.

“How are you?” you reply, not because you care, but because silence feels even more aggressive.

“Busy. So busy. We have that pitch with the Swiss skincare brand at eleven. And then there’s the meeting.”

Ah. The meeting.

Your boss had announced it yesterday on Teams with the gravity of someone introducing the new Messiah:

“Tomorrow, we have an important meeting. Very important. Like, potential long-term strategic client important. I need your best brains, team. Bring attitude.”

You head back to your desk, a white table that’s far too small, which you share with three other people and a dying plant everyone pretends not to be turning their backs on.

On your screen, thirty-seven tabs are open. Nine are unfinished briefs, three are online clothing stores, and one is a search for: “how to tell if you’re having an emotional breakdown or just sleep-deprived.”

You take a deep breath. Open your calendar. The event is there:

10:30 – Confidential meeting.Subject: Project Star.Attendees: Management, PR, you.

You. Lowercase. Like a typo someone forgot to fix.

You try to focus. Take a sip of your coffee (cold). Open the Excel file with your corporate smile, the one you once practiced in the kitchen mirror. But it doesn’t last.

Because at 10:28, you get a direct message from HR:

Marta (HR): | Head up to Room 5. They’re all here. Including him 👀

Including him.

Who is him? And why that emoji?

Room 5 is the good room. The one with the Scandinavian sofas and the fancy capsule coffee machine. It’s almost always empty, as if reserved for things that matter. Or for people who earn more in a year than you will in your entire career.

When you walk in, the first thing you see is your boss, wearing that smug “I closed this deal even though I didn’t do anything” smile. Then three people you don’t recognize. Suits. Serious. A woman holding a folder full of documents, and two men who look like they haven’t laughed since 2017.

And then you see him.

He’s sitting in the corner of the sofa, staring at his phone like it’s blowing up. White shirt, sleeves rolled up, expensive watch. The kind of person who doesn’t need an introduction because you’ve already seen his face twenty times—on bus stop billboards, Nike campaigns, and a live-through nightmare involving penalty kicks and your grandmother’s best friend, who is Argentine.

Kylian. The footballer. That one.

Your first thought was: He’s even better looking in real life. Your second was: Don’t look impressed.

Your boss catches your eye and motions for you to sit down.

“This is Y/N, our trusted creative director,” your boss says in that tone he uses when he’s trying to sound cool and young, despite he is entering his middle 50’s. 

You smile as best you can. Your heart’s pounding like it’s doing cardio on your behalf.

Kylian looks up. And for a fraction of a second, he looks at you.

Not in a “who are you?” kind of way, but more like “right, so you’re the one who’s supposed to fix this.”

You sit down on the opposite end of the sofa. Far enough not to seem intimidating. Close enough to pretend you’re not trying to seem anything at all.

Your boss clears his throat. That thing he always does right before saying something that sounds like a headline but means absolutely nothing.

“Well, as I was saying, this is a special project. A unique opportunity to… rewrite the narrative.”

“Rewrite the narrative” is his new favorite phrase. He’s been using it ever since someone said it at a networking event and he jotted it down on his iPhone, right next to gems like “pivot from authenticity” and “emotional capital.”

“Kylian is entering a new chapter,” he adds, as if talking about a divorce or a spiritual awakening. “His team wants to work on his personal brand from a more honest place. More connected. Something… human.”

Kylian says nothing. Still staring at his phone. Like none of this matters. Like he’d honestly rather be out training in the rain or under 600-watt studio lights.

One of the women across the table finally speaks. She looks like she handles PR. Her voice sounds like one of those self-help podcasts that tell you everything happens for a reason while selling you a course on productivity.

“We want people to meet the real Kylian. Not just the athlete. The boy who grew up in the suburbs, who loves art, who’s investing in cultural initiatives for young people.”

The boy who loves art. Right. Like every bored millionaire who collects neon sculptures and Warhol prints they don’t even understand.

“We’re thinking of a series of documentary-style content—something intimate but visually strong. Also, a small social media campaign where he speaks directly to the audience. No filter.”

Your boss nods, enthusiastically, as he adds.

“And that’s why we have Y/N. Our top creative. Brilliant. With a unique sensitivity. She knows how to connect with difficult audiences. She’s worked with NGOs, tech start-ups, an inclusive pottery workshop…”

Your name, your career, your work, it all sounds like it’s being read out loud at your professional funeral. You smile. Because that’s what’s expected.

You turn toward Kylian. He looks at you. Finally. As if he’s only just now mentally arrived in the room.

“You write the scripts?” he asks. His voice is deeper than you expected. Like someone who doesn’t rush his sentences.

“I write the ideas,” you reply. “The scripts too. But if everything goes well, no one will remember the words. Just how it made them feel.”

You’re not sure why you said that. Maybe because it sounds like something a brilliant creative would say. Maybe because you’re just a little tired of being treated like a walking PowerPoint.

He nods. Says nothing else.

Your boss clears his throat again. There are more details, of course: deadlines, photo shoots, potential trips, a budget no one dares to say out loud. Words like “engagement,” “authenticity,” and “rebranding” hover in the air like LinkedIn mosquitoes.

And you, meanwhile, are sitting there wondering how this even happened. How you went from creating ad campaigns for titanium frying pans to looking into the eyes of someone who’s probably going to be the next football legend.

At the end of the meeting, he stands and everyone follows.

You stay behind a little longer, unsure if you should head back to your desk or pretend you need to go over your notes.

He turns at the door. Gives you a quick glance. Like he’s not sure whether to say goodbye.

“So, I guess I’ll see you soon,” he says.

And without thinking too much, you reply: “Looks like it.”

Later, in the office kitchen and dining area, Lucía looks at you like you just had dinner with Brad Pitt, her eternal crush.

“So? What was he like? Was he nice? Did he talk to you?”

“He asked me one question.”

“And? How was it? Can you tell he’s French?”

“Not really. You can tell he didn’t want to be here.”

She laughs. “So basically, just like you. Soulmates.”

You pour yourself more coffee. Even though it’s already noon and you know you shouldn’t. But you need something to remind you you’re still awake. That this wasn’t just a celebrity reality show fever dream.

Your boss messages you on Teams:

“Great impression. He liked you. Work your magic.”

Work your magic. As if it were that easy. As if magic weren’t, almost always, just logistics and anxiety.

You spend the afternoon going through the briefing. They’ve sent you a 17-page document titled: “A New Era: Humanizing the Legend.”

The title alone makes you want to jump out the window.

The phrases are full of vague objectives: — Position an emotional identity. — Connect with non-sports audiences. — Turn notoriety into relatability.

There are black-and-white photos of him. One with a vintage bike. Another reading a book with no title. A third holding a little girl (his niece, according to the caption). You wonder which parts of all this are real. And which ones you’ll have to invent.

You start jotting down notes. On a post-it, you write:

What if instead of pretending he’s “the guy next door,” we show him as someone who also had to fight for what he truly wanted? Distance as truth. Fame as fracture.

You like that sentence. Fame as fracture.

You stick it to the edge of your monitor. Right next to another post-it that says: – Call the dentist. – Stop stalking Louis. – Buy tampons.

The next morning unfolds like the mornings of the past six months: fast, half-hearted, with a light drizzle of anxiety—which today, for obvious reasons, feels slightly more intense.

You’ve been summoned to a more intimate meeting. Proposed by his PR manager. Just you, the PR manager, and him.

It’s in a coworking space in Chamberí that looks like a Pinterest café with people-pleasing issues.

When you arrive, they’re already seated. He’s wearing a cap. And sunglasses. Indoors. As if he didn’t want anyone to recognize him.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hi,” he replies. Dry. Tired. Then silence.

The PR manager talks for eleven straight minutes. You know it because you count it mentally. He nods occasionally, as if he’s listening. But you watch him and know he’s not really there. So you go for it.

“Sorry. Can I ask something?”

They both turn to you. The PR manager, with a thin smile, the kind that expects you to compliment her long monologue where she’s said everything and absolutely nothing. The kind of monologue that’s made you consider requesting medical leave and handing this project off to someone else, if all future meetings are going to be like this.

“Do you actually want to do this?” you continue.

He blinks. “This?”

“Yeah. The campaign. The rebrand. Are you actually interested in it, or are you here because someone told you to be?”

The PR manager shoots you a look that could be categorized as brand sabotage.

Kylian, however, laughs. A short laugh. But a real one.

“Does it matter?”

“A lot. If you’re not into it, it’s going to show. And if it shows, everyone’s going to see it. And if they see it, they’ll call you fake. And, then we’ll have to redo the whole campaign, but this time using the drama as the hook.”

He looks at you. “All right. I’ll try.”

“Try what?”

“To care.”

You nod and make a mental note: Functional sarcasm. Potential sense of humor. Possibly shy (or just reserved, does he not like me? If so, bad start). Possibly just fed up.

They send you clips of him “for inspiration.” Interviews. Matches. Viral moments.

There’s one in particular. A phone-recorded video on a plane. He’s on his phone. Someone off-camera asks if he’s nervous about the final. He answers:

“No. I’m tired.”

Tired. Not in a physical sense. Existentially tired.

That’s the crack. That’s where you can slip in.

The next day, he shows up at the office. Unannounced. Wearing a watch that probably costs more than a year’s rent on your flat, and the look of someone who Googled “how to dress normal” this morning and gave up halfway.

It’s four in the afternoon. You’re working the late shift today, you swapped with Mireia so you could work in a quieter environment, with fewer people to distract you while you try to figure out how the hell you’re supposed to frame this project.

“I’m here to work with you,” he says, walking toward your desk. The desk you’ve been saying for over a month now that you’ll tidy up, because honestly, it’s starting to get embarrassing. And now the embarrassment is fully devouring you from the inside out.

“Did you bring ideas? Proposals? Do you want to change something in the project?” you ask, because you’re not entirely sure why he’s here.

He doesn’t trust me, does he?

To be fair, your boss didn’t exactly sell you very well. And you wouldn’t trust someone either if they looked like they hadn’t been laid properly in five months and seventeen days (which, if asked, wouldn’t be too far from the truth), to run the documentary that’s supposed to reinvent your public image.

“No.”

You raise an eyebrow. Definitely doesn’t trust me. You think. Or maybe his PR manager sent him to spy on you, because she also doesn’t trust how you do your job, especially after you, let’s be honest, gently shredded hers the other day.

He grabs a spare chair and sits next to you, stealing Pablo’s seat, who’s now watching the interaction from the water machine like it’s a live episode of something he didn’t know he needed.

“These ‘meetings’ usually happen with PR,” you tell him. “You don’t have to be here. They can send you the details.”

“I don’t care,” he shrugs. “It’s a project about my life, right? I should know what’s being said. And what’s not.”

Then, with just the right amount of cheek: “Got any coffee? Pour me one.”

You stare at him. Did he just tell me to make him coffee? Like I’m his assistant?

And you stare a little longer. He holds your gaze, half-smirking, half-testing. That kind of expression that doesn’t fully commit to being rude or polite. As if he hasn’t decided which version of himself is most useful in a Madrid office on a Tuesday afternoon.

You inhale. Slowly.

“We don’t have personal assistants here.”

You get up. Walk toward the coffee machine without looking back. Spine straight. Jaw set. Your version of saying don’t mess with me without saying it.

“Then make us both one,” he adds from your chair, like that somehow makes it better.

The laugh escapes before you can stop it. Dry. More of a stylish snort than a laugh, really.

“Sugar? Or do you want me to draw your logo in the foam?”

“No sugar. I'm in season, gotta watch the sweets.” He says it softer this time. Almost like an apology.

When you come back with the two mugs, he’s already leaned into your monitor. Arms crossed. Eyes fixed on the project timeline you’d left open.

“All this... you do it alone?” he asks, not looking at you.

“Did you think I had a team?”

Now he turns. Looks at you fully. Something’s shifted in his face, like irony was the password to get into his world.

“No. It’s just... a lot.”

You shrug.

“It is. But hey, at least no one makes me chase a ball for a living.”

He laughs. An unexpected one. Brief. Almost sweet. And that’s when it hits you: He’s not just looking at you. He’s watching you. Like he’s trying to figure something out about you that’s not in your resumé.

The next forty minutes, you work in silence. Or at least, what passes for “working” when two people are hyper-aware of each other and there's a quiet tension in the air that neither of you knows how to name yet.

Every now and then, he asks something. About the script tone. The order of the clips. Whether his accent is “too French” for a voiceover.

“Do you think I should speak Spanish in the videos?” he asks.

You consider it.

“If you want people to see you’re making an effort, yes. If you want to sound perfect, no.”

“I want to sound real.”

“Then leave it as it is. With mistakes. With pauses. With ‘ehh’ and ‘I don’t know.’”

He nods. And something opens there. Just a crack. A window slit. But it’s real.

He’s smarter than he looks. You realize that somewhere between the conversation on narratives, social media, and how to show vulnerability without sounding like a performance. He has opinions. He asks. He listens.

And you... You’re confused. Because you don’t know if this is still work. Or if you’re slowly being pulled into the gravity of it all. Of him. Of this moment.

At some point, he laughs at something you say and looks at you like you’re brilliant. Not beautiful. Brilliant. And for some reason, that disarms you more than any physical compliment.

The next day, at 10:36 a.m., the unofficial break time for Lucía, as if the universe had conspired for this conversation to happen, Lucía shows up at your desk with a cookie in hand.

“Was it real? He was here? Pablo told me.”

You raise your gaze to meet Lucía’s eyes, like she’s reached the juiciest part of a novel she can’t stop reading. You simply nod and turn your attention back to the monitor of your computer.

“So, how was it?”

You glance at your empty coffee cup resting next to the mountain of discarded post-its, all with ideas that still don’t quite fit this project. Ideas that seem to wander like echoes, failing to capture the essence.

“Strange.”

“Strange good or strange bad?” Lucía insists, now sitting on the edge of your desk, making it feel like an interrogation. 

You sigh, gathering your thoughts.

“Strange ‘I want him back.’” You admit, letting yourself be pulled into that mix of confusion and realization you’ve been keeping to yourself.

You told her about that strange back-and-forth, that feeling you couldn’t quite describe, but Lucía, after hearing it, defined it as “professional flirting in disguise.”

“We’re not flirting.”

“Of course you are. It’s just that instead of telling him you love his smile, you told him his current storytelling is weak and redundant.”

“Because it is.”

“And he looked at you like he wanted you to write his biography and emotional resume.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Girl, I’m telling you, as a friend and as someone who’s seen all the seasons of The Bold Type, that guy cares more about your feedback than winning the Ballon d'Or.”

Exaggerations aside, something was there. A subtle thread of mutual curiosity, something that was growing without you realizing. And now, here you were: immersed in a project that would last several weeks, working alongside him. Defining the tone of his communication, developing digital pieces, planning interviews… All while trying to maintain your composure and stay focused on your workday.

You’ve come to the conclusion that it all boils down to the fact that you were bored.

You could say it was the algorithm. You could blame a well-executed digital strategy. You could use any excuse, really, and not be lying. But deep down, you know it was that. Boredom. The deadliest of mental states.

And there you were, last night, a Wednesday, with your emergency bun and a lopsided dinner in front of you, watching a video of Kylian Mbappé talking about motivation in a square format with black-and-white subtitles. He wore a white shirt, the collar a little stretched, and several buttons undone. And you wore what was left of your self-esteem and a glass of supermarket red wine.

The worst part is, the video wasn’t bad. The worst part is, it actually seemed sincere. It was in English, with a strong accent and a hesitant intonation, like he was afraid of offending the language. He said things like, "you can’t be your best version if you don’t know who you are," and you nodded. YOU NODDED. After that, you turned off your phone as if it had slapped you and went to bed without washing your face. Because boredom doesn’t just make you vulnerable; it also makes you lazy.

You told Lucía the story as if it were some ridiculous anecdote. Something to laugh about during her unofficial coffee break. But Lucía, who is not just your coworker but your version with steroids, looked at you as if you’d said something important.

“Girl, what if this is a sign?”

“A sign of what?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That you need a change. Or a quickie. Or both.”

[notablenotions]

Chapter 28: Mask's of noblity

Once again, Hans Capon stood before his wife’s door, heart caught somewhere between his throat and the pit of his stomach. Against all common sense, against the warnings of his own dignity, here he was again.

Praying—genuinely praying—that tonight wouldn’t end in another libido-crushing reenactment of military siege tactics as a metaphor for reproduction.

A sentence he never imagined would plant itself in his mind and grow roots.

He raised a fist to knock. Hesitated.

Then knocked.

Jitka answered almost immediately.

Her hair was loose, falling in soft pale waves over her shoulders. She wore no formal gown tonight—only a simple house dress the color of forget-me-nots, the shade tugging more blue from her eyes than seemed fair. She looked utterly unguarded, almost domestic, and for a heartbeat Hans forgot what he’d come to say.

“You were here yesterday,” she said flatly, arms crossed. “Why are you here again? We’ve maintained the illusion of being bedded.”

“I need to speak with you,” Hans said, voice soft.

Jitka narrowed her eyes. “Two minutes.”

The door shut in his face.

A cacophony of noise followed—furniture being shifted, something wooden dragged across stone, a loud thud that might have been a shield being tossed under the bed.

Then, the door opened again.

She stood there, composed, though slightly flushed—cheeks touched with color, like someone who’d just wrestled a bear and won but refused to speak of it.

“Come in,” she said, a little too casually.

Hans stepped inside, eyes darting around the room for siege equipment, exposed blades, or overly aggressive herb arrangements. Finding none, he settled on a chair across from her near the hearth.

She sat opposite, curling one leg beneath herself. She tilted her head, watching him, biting her lower lip in that way she didn’t seem to realize she did. And God help him, it made something stir in his chest—a slow thud, unwelcome and undeniable.

Hans cleared his throat. “This isn’t a conversation I particularly want to have,” he said, “but it’s one we… need.”

Jitka said nothing, but her face shifted, the line of her mouth tightening. She was bracing herself. She always did.

“You know that at some point,” he said, forcing the words out, “we’ll be expected to produce an heir.”

There it was. Heavy. Cruel. Real.

She stilled.

And guilt bloomed in his chest like a spreading bruise. Because he didn’t want this—not like this. If the world were just, he’d still be curled in the Devil’s Den inn, in that awful lumpy bed with Henry beside him, wrapped around him like armor. There, no one cared who touched whom, or how. There was no performance, only warmth. Only truth.

But they weren’t there. They were here. Wearing crowns of glass, draped in duty, expected to love and breed and smile for portraits.

They hadn’t chosen this life. But they bore it.

“I want you to know,” he said, his voice trembling despite himself, “that after the other night—when I saw you… scrubbing your hands, red, raw, bleeding—I realised how blind I’ve been. You’re not just a sharp tongue and a brilliant mind. You’re not this untouchable noblewoman I couldn’t begin to understand. You’re… human.”

She made a face, the beginning of a snark forming—but he lifted a hand, gently.

“Please. Let me finish. I’ll lose the nerve.”

She stopped.

“I realised, in that moment, that I’ve failed you. That I’ve been cruel—not out of intention, but ignorance. I let my grief, my pride, my fear blind me to the truth: that neither of us chose this. That we’ve both been trying to survive it. And when it comes to… making an heir, it would be unforgivably cruel to just do it out of duty. Like crossing something off a ledger. To you. And to me.”

He looked down at his hands. They trembled faintly in his lap.

“I’ll never love you like I love Henry. He’s my breath. My sanctuary. The reason I bother with any of this. But I want to try something, with you. Not love. Not desire. Just… care. Trust. So that when the time comes, we’re not strangers walking into something cold. I don’t want to hurt you.”

His voice broke. He dropped his head into his hands, the truth heavy and aching.

And then—

A hand. Small, bandaged, warm. She touched his cheek, coaxed him to look up.

Her eyes were luminous in the firelight. Blue like glass over water. She looked at him like something fragile and burning.

“I’m very grateful,” she said softly, “for the respect and kindness you show me. Most men would have taken what they felt they were owed. But you didn’t. You never have. You are kind in ways few understand.”

Her voice didn’t tremble. It was calm. Solid. True.

“You remember the names of every servant. You smile at stable boys like they’re dukes. You say you hate Mutt, but I’ve seen you slip him sausages and whisper goodnight. You shine like a fool when someone tells you you’ve done well. And I think that’s beautiful.”

Hans could barely breathe.

“This marriage,” she continued, “was never meant for people like us. But here we are. And yes—we will have to create an heir. And you’re right—we should build something first. Something gentle. So our child isn’t born into ice and silence.”

She looked into the fire.

“I cannot give you passion. Or lust. That’s… not how I’m built. But I can give you loyalty. Kinship. Respect. I can promise to love you as family, even if the world calls us more than that. And I can protect what you and Henry have—because it’s sacred. And because he is part of me too, in a strange way.”

Hans stared at her, something unfamiliar and aching blooming inside his chest.

“I see our marriage as… partnership,” she said at last. “Not in the way they want. But in the way we can survive. Two people, not made for this world, but trying—because we care. About him. About each other. About the people who follow us.”

She leaned forward, rested her forehead gently against his.

“When the time comes,” she whispered, “we’ll face it together. As partners. As kin. We will not break.”

Hans closed his eyes. A tear slipped down his cheek, warm and aching.

He didn’t wipe it away.

He let it fall.

And in that moment—in her warmth, her strange tenderness, her honesty that cut sharper than any blade—he realised something he hadn’t dared admit:

He was beginning to care for her.

Not as a lover.

But as something stranger.

A partner. A soulmate, not of passion, but of shared wounds and chosen survival.

And maybe, just maybe, that could be enough.

[alloftheimaginesblog]

at world's edge - chapter fifteen

plot: Cassidy 'Cass' Vega is losing the fight with herself and with the Infected when Tommy Miller finds her and brings her back to safety. There she finds a new purpose; to live. Along the way, she makes friends and starts to find herself falling for a man almost thirty years older than her.

character: female!OC x Joel Miller

fandom: the last of us (tv show)

cast: joel miller - pedro pascal, cass vega - adria arjona, ryan winnick - brandon sklenar

note: cass is 28, joel is 51, ellie and dina are 16/17, jesse is 19, ryan is 31, tommy is 46. themes of a sexual nature: erection, wanting to masturbate but doesn't

It had been a week since the kiss.

One moment - one fragile, powerful, beautiful moment - had rewritten everything between them. Changed everything. Their lips had met like it was inevitable — not frantic, not rushed, just true. Cass had felt it in her bones. The kind of kiss that seemed to echo into the marrow of her. And then, just as quickly, Joel had taken it all back without a word.

He hadn’t said anything at all.

Not that night. Not the next day.

Not once since.

The change was immediate — a sudden chill in the air that hadn’t been there before. He stopped looking her in the eye. He stopped stopping by. Would walk the other way if he saw her coming. Wouldn't say 'morning' back to her, just curt nods or simply ignored her. The easy rhythm they had built — cautious but growing, steady and true — collapsed like a house too hastily built.

He didn’t vanish from Jackson. No. That would’ve been too clean. Too easy. He was still there, in the distance — chopping wood behind Tommy’s, walking with Ellie to the stables, at every patrol debrief. But if she stepped into a room, he stepped out. If she called his name, he didn’t turn. He looked through her like she was glass.

The silence was a punishment. The space between them stretched like a fault line ready to crack open and swallow her whole.

Cass tried, at first.

She’d catch him near the town hall, brushing shoulders with him just enough to remind him she was still there. She left a cup of coffee on the porch of his house one morning, hoping for something — anything — in return.

But it never came.

At first, she gave him space.

She told herself that he just needed time. That Joel wasn’t the kind of man who rushed anything. He was cautious. Wounded. She understood that. God, didn’t she understand that?

But days turned into a week. Then two.

Cass hadn't felt invisible like this before.

Ellie had asked her in the greenhouse in the middle of the second week if she was okay. Cass said nothing. Ellie went on to tell her how Joel had been weird recently. Grumpier. Quieter. Constantly staring off into space as though deep in thought. Cass turned away from her. Ellie didn't ask after that.

Cass threw herself into working. She was devastated, heartbroken, and angry all at once. But on the cusp of the third week, she decided to stop yearning after someone who couldn't love her; someone who wouldn't allow themselves to love her. She deserved better. She deserved more.

On day twenty one of Joel Miller ignoring her, Cass decided to move on. She was doing well. For one whole day, she didn't think about him. Didn't yearn for him. Didn't even think about the kiss.

On day twenty two, she was forced to stay the night in his house.

So much for moving on.

No one expected the storm to hit Jackson so hard. Cass had seen the clouds roll in while tending to the plants in the greenhouse but she assumed all would be fine. Her hands were in the soil, dirt under her fingernails, sleeves rolled up past her elbows. She hadn't wanted to stop. Hadn't wanted to go home to that little green house that didn't feel like hers.

By the time she left, the rain was torrential, wind howling. Cass clutched her hood up as she ran down the muddy lanes but was shortly stopped by a guard, "Power's down in your sector. We're locking access until first light. Too dangerous to have people with no heat or hot water in these temperatures."

Cass frowned, almost having to yell over the pelting rain, "But I live there, where am I meant to go?"

"Maria's orders. Anyone from that sector either goes to the main hall where bunks will be set up or find someone's to stay at for the night. We don't want people moving about much tonight. Ground's slick and this storm ain't letting up any time soon."

Cass groaned.

The guard shrugged, "Your call. Main hall or a friend's."

The way Cass looked at it, she didn't want to be in a hall with a couple hundred other people, but she didn't really have another option unless... Ryan - no, he was the opposite end, she'd probably get taken to the main hall by a guard if she trekked that far.

"Fuck."

The only other option was Joel Miller.

Joel Miller who had hated her, kissed her, confused her and then hated her again. Yeah, him.

The walk to Joel's was short but miserable. She gave up trying to jog after slipping in the mud a few times. Rain soaked through her clothes, head to toe she was soaking and cold to the bone. Her hair was plastered to her forehead and cheeks by the time she stepped onto Joel's front porch.

Thunder rolled distant and low, like it was still deciding if it wanted to rage or rest. Cass hesitated, fist inches away from knocking the brown wooden door. Was the main hall really that terrible? She looked back, seeing another Jackson guard speak to other passers by, and then she knocked.

Joel opened the door a moment later. His face dropped and then hardened with a deep frown, "Cass."

"Power's out in my sector."

Joel nodded once, "Right."

He was going to make her say it, wasn't he? Cass fought the urge to roll her eyes, "Can I stay here tonight? It's either here or the main hall and I don't-"

Joel stepped to the side wordlessly, allowing her access to his home. She stopped talking and with a small, genuine smile, entered his home.

Cass peeled her jacket from her, Joel hung it on the hooks that were drilled into the wall. It dripped a puddle onto his floor, "No Ellie?"

Joel shook his head, "She went to Dina's before the storm rolled in. She'll be staying there."

Damn. She'd been hoping that Ellie would've been here to make things less awkward but no, luck just wasn't on her side. Cass nodded, looking around. Joel's house was simple, worn. Lived-in. But clean. There were shelves lined with books, old records and record player, a guitar propped in the corner, and another hanging carefully above the mantel. It looked like a home. Two framed photos on the mantle piece. A much younger Joel with a young girl she didn't know and a polaroid of Joel and Ellie.

"You play?" Cass asked as she took a few steps into his living room.

Joel followed her gaze, eyes landing on the guitar, "Yeah."

She wandered a little, trying not to look like she was snooping - even though she absolutely was. On a low table near the window was a small, beautiful wooden box. The craftsmanship was delicate, thoughtful. Her fingers ghosted over the smooth surface, "Beautiful."

"Thanks," Joel said uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck, "Took three days to complete."

Cass blinked and looked to him with wider eyes, "You made it?" He nodded, "Ellie mentioned you did stuff like that but this is lovely." He didn't reply, instead he just watched her from his spot, jaw tight. He liked the way she looked at the things he'd made, awe and full of admiration. He wanted her to look at him like that; like he was the most perfect thing in the world.

He turned and walked into the kitchen, "You hungry? Was just about to make dinner."

"If it's not too much trouble." Her voice was meek. She was just as uncomfortable as he was being here.

"Hope you like venison."

"I'd eat anything. Can't be worse than Ellie's attempt at scrambled eggs." Joel gave a soft laugh and a slow smile stretched onto Cass's face. The ice began to melt.

"You'll be freezing, you can go dry off or go have a bath to heat up. Dinner will be a while-"

"You have a bath?!" Her whole demeanour changed. She suddenly became animated with childlike excitement all over a bath.

"Yeah...?"

Her whole face lit up, "I've only ever had a shower. I've not had a bath since before." That smile - unfiltered, wide, toothy, excited - did something awful to his chest. He wanted to remember her in that moment, so pure and joyful. She looked at him with warm eyes, "Can I-?"

Joel smiled, small and soft, "Yeah. Course. Knock yourself out."

When she scampered off to the bathroom, Joel turned away, taking a deep breath as he tried to calm his heart that suddenly picked up in pace the moment she smiled.

"Dinner," he muttered, "you're making dinner."

Cass took her time.

There were two bottles of soap on the edge of the bath, one smelled like pine and one smelled like lavender. Cass, who hated the smell of lavender, opted for the woody pine scent. She poured a little in her bath before stepping in and sinking beneath the water.

It felt so nice, so comforting and warm that tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

She sunk below the depths of the water, relishing the way the warmth cocooned her body, before pushing herself upwards and taking a deep breath. She lathered herself in the soap, scrubbing the soil and dirt from her skin, and washing her hair until her whole self smelled of pine.

Joel sat at the kitchen table trying not to think about it. Tried not to think about the way the house suddenly felt warmer. How he could hear the soft creak of pipes as she filled the bath with water. How he could hear her softly humming and singing songs from the past, songs he knew. How she could have went to Ryan but she chose to come here. How it had been weeks since they'd spoken beyond what duty required.

Since he kissed her.

And now, she was in his house.

In his bathroom.

Naked in his tub-

"Joel?" Her voice floated down the hall, hesitant.

He stood, walking to the bathroom, where she had the door cracked open a little bit, "Yeah?"

"I don't... have clothes. Mine are soaking."

His mouth went dry, "Hang on."

In his clothes.

He found the softest things he could - grey sweatpants, grey t-shirt, and a faded blue hoodie with frayed cuffs. All of them too big but unmistakably his.

He turned his head away as she opened the door wider to accept them, "Thanks."

His breath caught when their fingers brushed.

"I'll plate dinner." His voice was thick, she didn't notice.

She emerged a few minutes later, her hair wet and loose tumbling over her shoulders. The hoodie swallowed her. The pants were cuffed twice at the ankle, drawstring pulled tight to tie them at the waist. And he couldn't - couldn't - look at her without the weight of something old and sharp pressing into his chest. And when he smelled her, the smell of his soap on her, he turned his body fully away from her, all too aware that his jeans were becoming tighter at his crotch.

The things you do to me.

"Smells good," she commented as she padded into the kitchen, "Didn't know you could cook."

Joel swallowed, trying to calm his heart and his erection which pressed uncomfortably against the denim of his jeans, "Barely," he said with a clear of his throat, "picked up a few recipes that aren't half bad over the years though. I'm no chef."

He plated their dinner in silence. Cursing himself out for the effects she had over him. He felt like a damn teenager. Hard from seeing her in the most unflattering clothes but they were his clothes and smelling him on her...

Fucking hell.

He rubbed a hand over his face, "Need a hand?" She didn't even know the effect she had on him; the hold she had over him.

He shook his head, "All good." With a deep breath, he turned to finally look at her and sat down across from her, dinner warm in front of them.

It was awkward, absolutely. Neither had much to say. There was a lot that could have been said but neither wanted to touch that conversation. Not yet. They ate in near silence, the only noise being the clank of cutlery on the plates.

When she was finished, she pushed the plate away, puffing out a long breath, "That was so good."

"Yeah?" Something about feeding her, giving her clothes; something about taking care of her made his chest swell.

She nodded, "And you said you weren't a very good cook. Gimme your plate."

Joel frowned at her, "Sit down, Cass." He went to stand and take her plate but she wouldn't let go, "What kinda man would I be if I let you wash dishes in my house?"

"But you cooked me dinner. You're letting me stay here."

Joel rolled his eyes, "Sit down, Cass." His voice was quieter but firm. She released her grip on the plate and sat back in the dining chair. He moved to the sink, turning the tap on and soaking the dishes.

Cass watched him. It was her first time really seeing him like this. He wore a dark t-shirt which allowed her the chance to see him; the shape of his arms, the flex of his muscles, the shine of the scars. Dear god. She swallowed, cheeks flushing, and looked away quickly before he noticed that she was getting hot and bothered over his forearms.

"Thanks," she said after a minute, "for letting me stay and cooking for me."

Joel nodded, "Don't have to thank me."

She wandered off again, exploring his home freely. She soaked in every detail of his living room. Her eyes lingering on the picture of Joel from twenty years ago. He would've been close to her age in that picture, few years older. She wondered what he was like back then. Back when the world was safe. Back before the world ended.

She hadn't realised he'd left the room until he was coming back. He began to set up the couch. He had a quilted blanket and a cushion. She went to take them, "Thanks, I'll set it up. You've done enough."

"You're not seriously expecting me to let you sleep on my couch."

She gawked at him, her cheeks betraying her and heating up again, "You're not seriously expecting me to take your bed. I'll be fine on the couch, Joel."

He looked at her, "Doesn't matter. You're taking my bed."

They stared each other down again, "Why don't I take Ellie's-"

"Ellie's weird with people being in her room when she's not there. She likes you but not enough to sleep in her bed. She likes me but again, not enough to sleep in her bed." Cass breathed out a laugh at that, "You're taking my bed."

Eventually she sighed and threw her hands up, "Fine. But I don't want to get the blame for your back pain tomorrow."

He sunk into the couch, pulling the blanket over his legs. She lingered in the hallway for a moment, watching him, heart loud in her ears. For a moment, she thought she might bring it up.

Instead, she gave a soft, "Night, Joel."

And then she closed his bedroom door behind her.

He looked up, "Night, Cass."

Joel's bedroom was plain, more bare than the living room but it suited him with dark, earthy tones and smelled of cedar. She sunk into his sheets trying not to think about the fact it smelled of him.

Yesterday, she made a promise to never think about Joel Miller again.

Today, she was encapsulated by him. In his house. In his bed. In his clothes.

Cass rolled over and closed her eyes, willing herself to go to sleep. But sleep didn't come.

She tossed and turned. Her mind wouldn't shut up. She couldn't shut her brain off. Couldn't stop thinking about his stupid face, the kiss, the way he smelled, the way his arms looked, the way he said her name.

Eventually, after an hour or two of trying to sleep, she gave up and padded out into the living room. Joel was awake, sitting in the dimly lit living room. A book on his knee.

His head raised, "Couldn't sleep?"

She shook her head.

He stood silently, gesturing for her to sit on the couch. He moved to the kitchen and made tea. No questions. He filled two mugs and handed her one. She sat on the couch, legs curled under her. He sat beside her, a careful distance away, "Meant to help you sleep," he muttered. She thanked him softly, taking small sips.

They sat like that for a while. The wind was still strong but the rain had softened. The fire clicked low in the hearth.

"I saw you looking at the pictures above the fireplace." His voice was quiet. Cass turned to look at him. He wasn't looking at her. Just the flames as the orange and yellows danced together, "Obviously one's Ellie and me. The other... that's my daughter. Her name was Sarah."

Cass's throat tightened.

"She died. The day the world ended, she died." He swallowed and was silent for a bit, "I held her as she died. Part of me died that day too."

Tears burned in her eyes and she did the only thing she could think to comfort. She reached across the couch, fingers finding his and curling around them. He didn't pull away, instead his grip tightened.

"She was everything. You would'a liked her. Funny. Made people better by just being around." He smiled and it broke Cass's heart, "I... I couldn't save her."

Cass was quiet for a minute before she said, "Micah. My brother's name is Micah." Joel looked at her, glow of the fire casting shadows on his face, chocolate eyes glowing in the light, "He's younger by three years. He's the question I wanted answered... We were in a camp, a small one but had good people. Raiders came. Tore through it all like it was nothing. Killed most of the people, knocked me out. Took Micah. Last thing I remember before I blacked out was Micah screaming my name. They took him... I tracked raiders for weeks, infiltrated one of the camps, made them trust me. No one seemed to know anything. There were too many, was a much bigger job than I thought. Then I found you and Tommy. Still haven't found Micah."

"You will." Joel's quiet conviction made her breathing catch in her throat, "You'll find him."

Cass looked at him then — really looked — and saw something in his eyes she hadn’t dared believe was there.

Warmth. Hope. Pain. Something raw and unspoken.

They sat in the stillness for a long time.

Eventually, softly, she asked, "Will you play something for me? On your guitar?"

Joel hesitated. Then he nodded.

He stood and walked to his guitar before settling into the chair near the fire. Cass drained the last of her tea before placing the mug down on the table. His fingers moved over the strings with reverence. The song was soft, unfamiliar - something old, something from before - but it was beautiful. Soothing. He didn't look at her as he played. He couldn't. If he looked at her now, curled in his clothes on his couch, he would break. He would move to her and kiss her and he wouldn't be able to stop himself. So, he stared at the guitar.

Cass leaned back against the cushions, listening contentedly, until her eyes slowly began to drift shut. By the time he played the final chord, her breathing had deepened. Asleep.

Joel set the guitar down gently.

He walked over. Stood above her for a long moment, unsure. Then - with a softness no one else had ever gotten from him - he slid one arm beneath her knees, the other behind her back. Lifted her effortlessly. She curled into his warmth, murmuring something in her sleep against his shoulder. He swallowed.

He carried her to his bed. Placed her down gently, pulled the blankets up.

Paused.

His hand reached out and brushed a piece of hair from her forehead. Let his fingers linger just a second too long.

Then, silently, he stepped back. He returned to the couch.

He lay in the dark, listening to the rain, trying to ignore the fact that her scent was all over his house.

Trying to forget how it felt to hold her.

Cass. In his home. In his clothes. In his bed.

And he couldn’t stop picturing it. Couldn’t stop replaying the look on her face when she’d stepped out of the bathroom, skin flushed from the bath, hoodie sleeves pulled over her hands like she didn’t know what to do with them. Her eyes had met his—bright, a little unsure, a little too soft—and he’d had to look away before his ribs cracked under the weight of it.

The worst part was the smell.

Not a bad smell. Not even close.

His soap. His house. Warmth and pine and skin and her. That scent clung to the air now, and it was driving him out of his goddamn mind. It filled the space like a whisper pressed against his throat: She was here. She's still here.

And Joel — despite every mile he’d walked, every loss he’d endured, every layer of armour he’d welded over himself in the years since Sarah — couldn’t do a damn thing about the way it undid him.

It was too much.

The way she looked at him when he played the guitar, like the music was something sacred. The way she spoke about her brother, voice shaking but steady. The way she listened to him when he talked about Sarah — not pitying, not afraid, just there, with him. Grounded.

Present.

Joel hadn’t felt that in a long time.

And he sure as hell didn’t know what to do with it now.

He leaned back against the couch with a groan, scrubbing both hands over his face. His joints ached. His back protested. He was too old for this, too broken, too tired. His cock ached, throbbing with the desire to be touched; for her.

She’s too young. That’s what he’d told her. That was the line he kept throwing out like it explained everything. Like it excused the way his pulse jumped when she smiled, the way his stomach clenched when her fingers brushed his hand. Like it excused the very real, physical reaction his body had to her.

But it didn’t explain anything. Not really.

And it sure as hell didn’t stop the wanting.

Joel stared at the hallway where the bedroom door was now closed. He imagined her curled up under his blanket, breathing deep, face soft in sleep. Maybe one hand tucked under her cheek. Maybe the hem of his hoodie rising a little when she moved.

He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

He couldn’t sleep. Not with that picture in his head. Not with the knowledge that if he took just ten steps forward, he’d be able to see her again.

He wouldn't, though.

He couldn't.

Because if he did — if he let himself go there — he knew he wouldn’t be able to walk it back. Not with her. Not this time.

And she deserved more than a man who was halfway to ruin.

So Joel stayed on the couch. Awake. He didn't touch himself, didn't dare to palm his erection. He wanted to, god he wanted to, but he didn't want to give in. Didn't want to tarnish the night. Didn't need the guilt.

Listening to the slow rhythm of rain and the distant hum of her breathing.

Counting the reasons he shouldn’t want her.

And coming up empty every damn time.

[us3rnam3-r3dact3d]

the world (it burns through me)

Chapter 28: Angel, Sweetheart, Darlin'

Ao3 | 4.5k Words | Angel, Sweetheart, and Darlin's POVs

Angel would know their husband anywhere. The world isn't right when Asher isn't smiling. David says goodbye. Sweetheart has their teeth around the problem. Milo's betrayal blossoms. Porter gives advice on a clean murder. Darling is ready for this to be over. Sam proposes.

TW: Medical stuff, blood and injury, smoke inhalation, intubation, mentions of death, grief, arguments and conflict, murderous intent.

Everything went fuzzy after the bathtub, and you were pretty grateful for that fact when it came down to it. A fire slowly encroaching on you as you laid helplessly and bled… that was a vision you didn’t want to visit you in your dreams. 

What you remembered was heat and smoke and the pound of palms on your chest. Everything was strange and muddled, the twist of fingers in your skin, the ground pressed into your back. You were lost in the movement and burn of your surroundings, but you knew Davey was there the minute his hands were on you. You would know your husband’s touch no matter how lost you found yourself. You would feel him pressing gentle pleas like compressions into your rib cage until it cracked under the pressure. 

Things shifted back into focus bit by bit. You managed to open your eyes to a light like nothing else, bright and cold and sterile. You groaned but it didn’t escape your throat. Someone spoke over you and Davey responded, but you couldn’t make out the words. You still had one foot in unconsciousness, even as Davey dragged you back from the brink. 

More words, hands on your face, not Davey’s, covered in rubber and freezing fucking cold. Something pressed against your jaw and them forced its way into your mouth. Plastic slid into your throat. 

Intubation. That was not a good sign. 

Your mind and body reconnected inside the hospital. Pain slammed into you, certain and unrelenting. You couldn’t deny it, couldn’t escape it. You struggled against your own body, throat flexing around the tube inside of it, as hands pressed down on your chest and hips to keep you steady. You wanted to comply, to do as the paramedic said, to calm down, calm down, to be a good patient, but you didn’t have much choice at the moment. The pain was impossible, and the only response that was appropriate was to thrash against it like a snake with the head cut off. 

Someone had done compressions. There was a tube in your throat. Dying gasps. 

You’d put it in writing in your twenties. You didn’t want to live on machines. You didn’t want a ventilator to be in the same fucking room as you, let alone breathe for you. So if they couldn’t straighten this shit out, this was it. 

It would be okay. Davey would be okay. This would shatter him for a few years, but he was not alone. 

Please, you tried to say, but your voice was choked and missing, please, Ash. Take care of him. Take care of him. 

Davey’s hands were still on you, planted on your chest, unrelenting. There was shouting by many strange voices. Orders given and followed. Doctors and nurses surged around you as you blinked your eyes open. 

“Sir, you should say goodbye.” One of the doctors instructed while cutting the remains of your shirt to free up your chest. Somebody attached sensors to your battered skin. 

“What?” David snapped, fingers flexing against your ribs. “What are you talking about?” 

“This will be very intensive surgery. We recommend you take a moment before they go into the operating room.” The doctor replied. David’s face went red, and he looked like he might start screaming again. 

Asher appeared like an answer to your prayers, soot smeared across his cheek.

“Hey, guys,” Ash raised his voice, drawing attention in the way only a leader could, “I know time is of the essence, but can we slow down for a sec?” Movement slowed, voices silenced. Ash turned to Davey. “Say goodbye.” Ash ordered. “You’ll regret it if you don’t. So say goodbye.” 

Davey turned to you, his dark eyes wide and wet, plain terror spread across his features.

Davey had known his mother was Navajo for all his life, but he hadn’t started learning about that part of him until after he met you. You were given the chance to watch as he unraveled the complex webs of his relationship with his culture. You watched him learn his language, bit by bit from distant cousins. You watched him grow his hair out. You learned to tie his tsiiyééł.

He had told you once, in the middle of your endless curious questions, that there wasn’t really a word in Diné bizaad for ‘goodbye.’ He said that it was too final, too much of an ending. The closest thing he had translated more closely to ‘alright then- see you later.’ 

“Hágoónee,” he said anyway, finality in his tone, an ending spread across his features. You blinked up at him, smoke choking out your voice, bruise and blood pressing into your head and chest. 

Alright then. 

You watched as he was shuffled away, as the doctors descended on you from all sides, smothering out every other sense with the smell of rubbing alcohol and hunter green scrubs. You couldn’t see Davey anymore, but you blinked your goodbye into the sterile ceiling. 

See you later. 

When you came back to yourself, the first thing you were aware of was a pounding ache in the back of your throat. You swallowed, uninhibited. No tube. Thank God. Davey had been going crazy lately, and you were afraid, somewhere in the depths of you, that he would override your medical directive and put you on a machine just to keep from losing you. 

You could see the haze of lights through your closed eyelids, and you could hear the buzz of fluorescents and the beep of machines. Still in the hospital, it seemed. 

“You need a break.” It was Asher’s voice, hushed and gentle. There was another person, too. A gentle drag of breath. Davey. You would know your husband’s heavy sigh anywhere. “Some food. Some sleep. A shower.” 

“I’m fine, Ash.” Davey replied. He sounded so tired, right back on the defense. Asher, though, was better at this than you were. He had been unwinding Davey’s bullshit for the entirety of their shared lives. 

“No,” Asher said, voice quirking at the end like he was teasing, “you are not. Your spouse is lying in a hospital bed after surviving one of the worst house fires we’ve ever seen. So I seriously can’t imagine how in the world you could be okay. But you are not helping yourself by perching over their bedside like a freaking gargoyle. So go get a cup of vending machine coffee and breathe for a few minutes.” 

Another sigh. A chair creaking. Footsteps receding. 

It took you a few minutes to gain back control of your muscles, but when you did, you turned your head, neck twinging, and cracked your eyes open. Asher was still at the door, staring down the hall, his face uncharacteristically severe. The world just didn’t seem right when Asher wasn’t smiling.

You opened your mouth and only air came out, a rush of cracking lips and lungs. Asher’s head spun around, eyes wide. 

“Oh my God!” He barked, tripping over himself to get to your bedside. “Oh my God!” He said again as he paused over you, hands hovering. You managed to gain control of your right arm and waved towards the water cup that was sitting on the rolling bedside table. Asher snatched it and helped to guide the straw to your mouth. As you tensed to sit up, pain sparked through your chest. You gulped down water anyway, brow furrowing. 

You cleared your throat, swallowed as the straw retreated. 

“Hey, girl,” you croaked, your voice barely a whisper. Asher laughed. The world righted itself. 

“Hey,” he replied. His smile stayed but tears sprung to his eyes. “Hey.” Just when you thought he was about to cry, a shadow cut through the light from the hallway. 

Davey looked tired. Worn down, more accurately. The smell of house fire accompanied him. The cup of vending machine coffee that was in his hand crashed to the floor. 

“Angel,” he breathed. Tears sprang to your eyes at the sight of him. The terror of the situation slammed into you all at once. You couldn’t catch your breath. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping that, if you couldn’t see Davey staring at you like you’d just risen from the grave, you could go back to the numbness you’d woken up into. 

Hands framed your throat and face. You would know your husband’s touch, eyes closed or dying or hyperventilating from delayed shock. 

“It’s okay,” Davey’s voice sucked up your attention, grounded you in your spot. “I’m here. I’m here, Angel, I’ve got you.” 

You focused in on that voice, that low rumble, and let it drown out the drill of your heart monitor and the chatter of nurses rushing to check on you at the news that you were awake. Fuck everything else, your husband was telling you that everything would be alright. 

Despite yourself, despite your instincts, despite the thrum of pain in your chest, you believed him. 

__

You were spending far more time inside of Dahlia General than you were comfortable with lately, and the cafeteria food wasn’t getting any better. You poked half-heartedly with your plastic fork at the cold coffee cake that Milo had snagged from the overnight cart for you. He was sat across from you, his eyes downcast. He still smelled like smoke. Colm paced the length of the deserted cafeteria, phone to his ear, as he coordinated with the team on the ground outside the Shaw house and his detectives at the station. 

“Quinn’s little friend ratted out a few more hidey holes,” Colm stepped back towards your little rickety table, slipping his phone back into his coat pocket. “And I’m sure we’ll get more out of him in the next few days.” 

“Please remember,” you said into your coffee cake as you broke it apart with your fork, layer by layer, “that Ben is a victim in this scenario too. No untoward interrogation techniques.” 

“He set you up,” Milo pipped up. He sipped at his vending machine coffee and winced like he did with every swallow. Snob. “So, he’s a fucking asshole and whatever you want to do to him is fine by me.” He raised his styrofoam cup to Colm in cheers. 

“Quinn tortured him.” You said. “He put Ben through the same things he put Trouble through. Let’s not forget that someone we care about could have turned out similarly. Ben is somebody’s son. So let’s talk about him like he’s a human being.” 

Silence from both Greers. It was a familiar speech to you, something you had to repeat to cops often enough it was almost passionless at this point. Or perhaps that was due to how exhausted you were. 

In truth, the sight of Ben’s face still brought a spark of anger and dread to the forefront of your mind. His features, daring to look apologetic, had been the last shred of safety you’d known before Quinn carved you up. It was burned into your mind, and when Colm told you that Ben had been picked up and charged with accessory to attempted murder, you felt sick satisfaction churn in your stomach like bile. 

Milo cleared his throat.

“So we got more places to flush out?” He asked. Colm nodded.

“And they’re awake,” Colm said, “so once I can take their statement, I’ll have more information.” You let out a sharp sigh. 

“Thank God,” Milo breathed, “I thought David… you know.” 

“That kid can’t take another loss.” 

“Don’t question them tonight.” You said. “We’ll bother them in the morning. Let them both rest some.” 

“Every second counts in this.” Colm protested. You set down your fork and stood, rolled your shoulders back. 

“I don’t intend to waste them.” You huffed. “I need those addresses.” Both Greers stared at you, mouths similarly agape.

“No,” Milo said at the same time Colm said:

“Not on your own!” 

Always the challenge with them. You snagged your phone from your pocket and started typing out a message as you finished addressing them. 

“Ansel is already at the first location, I’ll meet him there.” You brushed your curls from your face. “You’re right, Colm, we have limited time, and I’m wasting it here, easing your anxieties. Please find a way to handle those on your own.” 

You left your coffee cake on the table and turned to the winding corridors of the hospital. You knew them well by now, and you paced through the hallway steadily. 

You were a bloodhound and you had his scent. You had your teeth around his fucking throat and you just needed to bite. 

Milo caught up to you halfway to the guest parking lot. 

“Hey!” He snapped, grabbing your shoulder. You bit back a wince as the skin on your stomach protested to the strange movement. The knots of scar tissue were firming and growing stiff. Your body rejected small twists and tugs on the skin with tight discomfort, sometimes jolting you with pain you couldn’t ignore. It was inconvenient at best and dangerous at worst, catching you at the worst times. You really had to get that dealt with. 

“I’ve gotta go,” you murmured. Teeth around the problem, if you lost the scent he’d slip away. He had been slipping away from you for months. Enough. You were ending this tonight, you were putting him behind bars tonight. 

“Sweetheart,” Milo’s voice called to you, pulled you from your singular focus. He was a liability to your work. When he commanded your attention, he got it, no matter what else needed it. “Slow down. Talk to me, please!”

“I am not letting him get away with this.” You hissed. “David built that house from the fucking foundation. They almost-” you choked around the words. Tears burned at the back of your eyes and you growled in frustration. “He almost killed my friend tonight and I am taking him in for it. He’s going to face a jury and I’m going to lay out every crime he’s committed and he’s going to fucking fry!” 

You’d raised your voice more than you intended. A handful of hospital employees were glancing your way as they carried on with their business. Milo stared at you for a long, tense moment. 

“California got rid of the death penalty in 2019.” He finally said. 

“That was an executive order from the Governor.” You seethed. “Not legislation. So that could change.” 

You didn’t believe in capital punishment before Quinn Fox. You also didn’t understand why people had the urge to kill before him. But now, with scar tissue pounding with your pulse and your friend nearly dead a few floors up, you got it. The pleasure of killing twitched in your muscles. You wanted to introduce Quinn Fox to his fate personally. You wanted to wrap your hands around his throat and squeeze. You wanted to watch the burn in his eyes go out. 

“What is this guy doing to you?” Milo asked. His face held the ingredients of betrayal. You swallowed.

“Guys like Quinn Fox have always been out there, Milo.” You said. “Serial killers and rapists and child molesters. This one just happened to hit close to home. He’s not doing anything to me, this is the world I live in! This is the shit I worry about! The shit I wanted to keep at bay but they just keep coming!”

“Baby-”

“Everytime one goes behind bars there’s ten more! Like fucking roaches, they just keep popping up! And I’m doing what, exactly? Following around cheating spouses? Investigating insurance fraud? Waste of my fucking time! I blew it in the force and now I’m being fucking wasted while these guys are killing people!”

“Hold on, can you-”

“But I can take care of this. I can take care of him.” Milo went silent as your hatred quieted. You felt it bouncing around in your core. It kept you going, kept your body moving even as it begged to stop. 

“You’re gonna get yourself killed.” Milo said it softly, as though it were already true. 

“Then I’ll take him with me.” 

Betrayal blossomed fully across his features. 

It was better this way. If you burned out on this case, it would be easier for him. If he was pissed, the grief would pass him by. You turned and kept walking, hand pressed into your stomach. The pulse of your scars kept you centered, focused. 

“So I guess all that talk about forever was bullshit.” His voice was quiet when he spoke again, but you still heard it over the pound of your heart. 

You didn’t turn back to look at him. You didn’t have to. When you closed your eyes, it was always him; his face smiling back at yours as he spun you around the empty living room of your house. As you each agreed that you didn’t need rings. That you didn’t need a marriage certificate to show what you meant to each other. That you both knew what forever looked like. 

You swallowed. Teeth around the problem. You’d bite down and be done with it. Forever could wait until then. 

You kept walking. 

__

You had second degree burns on six percent of your body, and Dr. McDreamy was peeling back necrotic skin and debris from the patches across your back. 

You were no stranger to burns, and despite your wealth of experience surrounding injuries of all kinds, you maintained that burn debridement was the most painful experience a human could endure. You’d seen grown men scream and cry during them, chief among them being Gabriel Shaw. 

Of course, that didn’t mean much. Gabriel Shaw cried during sad movies. Gabriel Shaw cried when he thought a bit too hard about how much his son had grown. Gabriel Shaw cried when a baby was just a bit too cute. He might have been a big and burly firefighter, but what he was at his core was a cry baby, and a proud one at that. 

You didn’t cry. You didn’t scream. You gripped your hands into fists so hard your too-long nails cut into your palms. You pressed them in and out of the crescent wounds, let that ground you, pull your mind away from the feeling of being skinned. 

“Almost done here,” McDreamy spoke for the first time since he’d greeted you on his way into the room. As chatty and casual as he had been upon your first meeting, he was equally quiet and reserved now. He must have sensed how volatile you were at the moment. 

You didn’t reply. You closed your eyes. You ran through your plan one more time. 

You knew a guy who could get you a gun in three hours. You’d call him as soon as you were done here. It would be registered stolen, so nobody else would be implicated. You’d contact Quinn, ask him to meet you back at the Moonbound. Tell him he'd proven his point and he could have you. Maybe you would get lucky and it would work twice. You’d kill him as soon as he walked through the door. Someone would hear the gunshot, but you’d call the cops yourself just to be safe. Maybe laying out his own abuses would help you in court and you’d get off easy, maybe you’d rot in a cell for the rest of your life. You weren’t sure whether you cared which eventuality came to pass. 

Either way, this would be over. You just needed this to be over. 

“I can feel you brooding.” you could hear the shit-eating grin in McDreamy’s voice. “I know this is unpleasant, but don’t plot my murder for helping you.” 

“Not yours.” You growled. You knew it was stupid to announce your plans, but you couldn’t help it. It had been your intent all along, when you’d started looking for Quinn with more purpose. He needed to die. He needed to die for what he had done to you. He needed to die for what he was yet to do. He would hurt people, your people, other people, until he was dead. He was in perpetual motion, always toiling away at the object of his obsession until they broke and he got bored. But you had never broken. Maybe that was why he had fixated so fiercely onto you, so fiercely that he tried to destroy everything around you. 

Mission accomplished. He had broken you. What you were certain he hadn’t bet on, however, was that you were much more dangerous in pieces than you were whole. 

“If I may suggest,” Porter said from behind you. His tweezers dropped into his metal tray. Something cold smeared across your back. “A syringe full of air. Stick it in a vein, empty it. Once the air bubble circulates and reaches the heart… cardiac arrest. Bloodless. Clean. It’ll look like a heart attack and no one will ever need to know.” 

You twisted, surprised. He had that answer ready real quick. 

There was a knock on the exam room door. It cracked open a second later. Sam stepped in, his face drawn. 

“Hey,” he said softly. He ran his eyes over you, taking in the burns. Those brown eyes flicked from you to Porter. 

“Second degree.” Porter reported. “Six percent. Debrided, and I’ve started in on the silver sulfadiazine.” He stepped around you and flashed Sam a white-toothed smile. “Care to finish up for me, Dr. Collins?” 

“Don’t call me that.” Sam sneered. “Go. I got it. Please check in-”

“Already done.” Porter snapped off his gloves and snagged a chart from the counter above the scrub station. He handed it over and made his way out of the room. “If either of you need anything,” he said, his front half stuck through the doorway, “you have my number.” The door clicked closed.

Sam flipped through the chart ravenously. He shook his head, tutting softly before letting out a sharp breath. 

“Are…” you swallowed and tried to take the bite out of your voice, “are they okay?” Sam glanced up at you. 

“Um…” he shook his head, “they’re alive and all their parts are attached.”

“I guess that’s something.” You sighed. 

“Broken sternum,” Sam said, “which was what their surgery was concerning. That’s bound to be from the compressions. Usually that break doesn’t require surgical intervention, but in combination with the three broken ribs on their right side, we had to go in and maintain the structure of their chest.” He swallowed. “Alexis supervised and made sure their cardio thoracic system was intact. All good there. They… okay, respiratory arrest at the scene was due to smoke inhalation. The cardiac arrest was due to lack of oxygenation. They lost enough air that their heart couldn’t pump anymore.” 

“I know what oxygenation is.” You snapped. You closed your eyes. He didn’t deserve this. Sam, to his credit, acted as though you’d never opened your mouth. 

“We’re treating the smoke inhalation with an oxygen drip. They were intubated at the scene but indicated in a medical directive they didn’t want to be ventilated. They’re responding well on just the drip and we’ll make adjustments as needed. No carbon dioxide poisoning, that would have been the primary concern. That’s good, that bodes well.” He flipped a page. “Damn.” He sighed. 

“What?” You looked up, hungry for what had surprised him. 

“Their arms were bound, right?” He asked, brown eyes meeting yours. You nodded. “They were cut on the scene. Sometimes, when circulation has been cut off and you suddenly reintroduce it, patients can develop something called compartment syndrome. The blood rushes back into the limb and causes it to swell. By the time they got to the hospital, it was pretty bad, no time for a clean release of pressure. Our orthopedic surgeon was concerned we were too late and noted that he recommended amputation of both arms at the elbow but…” Sam shook his head. “Alexis wouldn’t let him. She and Porter performed simultaneous fasciotomies. Two seven inch incisions down both forearms. That… that’ll be a bitch to heal and we don’t know if they lost function in their arms yet. We’ll just have to wait.” 

You puffed out a breath. It was bad. Really fucking bad. Sam nodded and closed the chart.

“Sammy,” you croaked. When you heard your own voice, you realized from the tone of it that you were going to cry. “I can’t keep doing this.” 

“He can’t do this forever,” Sam said softly, 

“He’ll keep hurting people,” you whispered. You weren’t angry anymore and you couldn’t pretend to be. “I’ve gotta-” you swallowed a wounded sound. “I can’t just wait for him to stop. He’ll outlast me.” 

“What do you wanna do?” He asked. He was closer now, his hand sliding along the back of your neck, cradling your head. 

“I want to kill him.” You said softly. No anger. No pretense. Just factual intention. 

Sam was quiet for a very long time. He pressed his lips to the crown of your head. 

“I will not lose you to this.” He said, and it sounded like a vow. 

“I think…” you shook your head, rubbing your awkward buzz cut into his face. He breathed you in, smoke and all, “I don’t think you ever had me. I think he’s been… holding me hostage.”

“Bullshit.” He withdrew before kneeling, knees on the creaky metal step up on the exam table, looking up at you from between your knees. It was his turn to be angry. “Bullshit! Are you kidding me? You are not some half person who’s been torn apart by this mother fucker. Now you say you want him dead, and that tells me you’re about to do something real stupid. I don’t blame you one bit. But a judge is gonna take one look at you and throw you in a cell somewhere. No. I will not have it. You want him dead, I’ll kill him.”

“Sammy,” you breathed, “that’s romantic and all-” 

“Well thank you, I am a charmer.” 

“Sammy.” 

“Stay with me.” He said. He rose to lock his arms around you, avoiding the burns on your back. “Stay with me. I won’t lose you. I can’t lose you to this.” 

“Okay.” You relented. You were so tired. You wanted this over with. And you knew that if you left him to his own devices, Quinn would keep coming. Eventually, he would come for Sam. He would try to force you to choose him or he would kill Sam to drive the final nail in the coffin. 

But Sam begged you to stay on his knees and sounded like he was proposing marriage. When you closed your eyes, you could envision lips wrapped around the words I do. That image was enough, for now. You would kill Quinn whenever he came and hold on to that image as long as you could. 

“I love you.” you said, and it didn’t whiter in your mouth. “I love you. I love you.”

Once you started, you couldn’t stop.

[writingforsimps]

Midnight Fang - Poly BTS x Reader (Chapter 0.5)

Summary: The werewolves thought they found all their mates. They never imaged they’d met another, let alone that she’d be a vampire.

Warning: Blood, Alcohol, Mate Au Supernatural AU, Poly Au, Unrequited Love, Rejection, angst (Specific Warnings not mentioned will be made in each chapter this is just a small none specific overview)

[Series Masterlist] -> [Prev] - [Next]

Hungry…

You liked the forest. Trees make only 28% of the oxygen you breathed when you were alive, but the plants and flowers gave a certain life the ocean just couldn’t. The bunny nibbling on bitter lettuce was proof of just how much life these plants brought with them.

The food chain, without those plants a bunny couldn’t eat, and without the bunny a fox couldn’t and so on till the biggest predator dies.

You’ve liked the forest since you were human. Your friend use to call you a forest hippy, going on hikes with you once in a while. The two of you didn’t have the slightest clue anything about nature. All you knew was you loved it, and she tagged along because of that reason. It just felt right. The sun in your face and the dirt in your nails.

Hungry…

Now the sun of your face burns hot even in cold weather and the dirt in your nails feels too odd, to new. The feeling lost to the habit and need to keep your hands clean. So you sit, with muddy white cloth gloves on, a white lacy sun dress that was covered in mud and tears, and torn shoes tied by their laces together on your wrist in a mock, heavy bracelet.

White, light, flow-y, breathable.

Stained, dirtied, cold, exposed.

You were cold, dirtied and your legs were exposed to the elements. The pristine angelic color assigned to you long ruined by the brown mud and dirt. Your dignity falling low, but never low enough to hide behind a trash can. What if a human found you? No, instead you’d die in the woods.

Hungry…

When was the last time you’ve eaten? Three weeks… A person can bleed to death in just five minutes. You knew that. Vampires feed on people’s blood because they cannot supply their own. So while the blood running through your veins and in your cheeks aren’t your own, you try and preserve it. Try not to run out of it.

A person can bleed out in just five minutes, but it took two months to die without food. For you, it’s like a small mixture of the two. Blood leaving your body, you were burning it like it was the energy food was to humans.

You sweat, panting heavily and leaning against a tree. The confusion and anxiety getting to you as you felt your more important organs finally start to shut down.

You knew you wouldn’t survive without a Nest… but that didn’t make it less painful to die.

No.

You couldn’t die. Not with your life like this. Not when you gave up so much to live in the first place. So, in a finally last ditch effort to live.

You screamed.

-

-

-

Jimin heard the screech before any of the his mate did. His ears just worked better then there’s, it was a curse. A curse he thanked every full moon for because that’s how he met his mates. The scream was primal, life or death. Jimin’s head immediately flung in the direction and it was like his body moved on its own when he started running.

Namjoon ran after him, tripping over his own paws at the suddenness of the boys new behavior. He just… took off! It was seconds later he heard the scream as well. A second wave before the quiet. But… why did the quiet make his heart squeeze more then the screams did?

They both raced to the voice. It was odd, usually when you hear screaming you run away but it was like their instincts took over.

_______________

Hi! So I made this chapter as chapter 1! Then I realized I didn’t want it to be chapter one (reasons). And I also couldn’ add it to the prologue! So I’m making it chapter 0.5! Or a teased kind of thing. It’s cannon to the storyline placed in the middle of chapter 1 and the prologue…. Do with that what you will!

It’s really short because it’s half a chapter, real chapters will be longer. dw