#choice validated. now…. for her stage name

[feywhimsy]

u know. i was kinda leaning towards nyssa as the name. and it absolutely steamrolled in that poll LMAO

[oneatlatime]

The Crossroads of Destiny

Strap in folks it's finally finale time!

I'm getting a bad feeling from the 'previously on' segment.

*gasp* Song's bird horse!?!?!

Toph gets some serious speed with that earth tongue walking.

Ty Lee's flattery gets less and less subtle. I get the feeling that a lot of Azula's more worrying tendencies could have been curtailed if someone had stuck her on stage as a child.

Is Zuko taller?

The cuts between these scenes are getting ridiculous. Some of these scenes are maybe 15 seconds long.

Zuko knows what's up. He and Iroh have teamed up on that particular fire breathing party trick before.

"It's time I face Azula." Buddy. No.

"You're so dramatic." POT. KETTLE. BLACK.

The last time Iroh and the Aang Gang teamed up, it was also against Azula. She has a way of uniting enemies.

The longer I stare at this the more I giggle.

"Good inside him isn't enough. Why don't you come back when it's outside him too, ok?" Congratulations to Sokka for articulating one of the fundamental human truths. Intentions can go take a hike when all that's visible are actions.

I love that! Iroh says he brought someone along in a tone that very much implies that he asked for help from a friend! Then you go outside and see he kidnapped a dude! And then they just leave him there!

I see your fake meditation. No one as rotten inside as this guy actually meditates properly.

The Dai Li be like

Katara? Why are you ripping into Zuko? Why is Season one bitchy Katara back? I don't want season 1 bitchy Katara to come back.

"No offence." "None taken." Iroh loves his nephew, but Iroh knows his nephew.

The one time Iroh's advice is explicitly solicited is the one time his advice is corny crap. That sucks.

Ba Sing Se is a tel? That's neat.

Hey Toph? Now would be a great time for that new metal bending trick of yours.

Avatar inadvertently validating my fear of subway grates.

I know this is life or death serious and all, but isn't the Sokka and Ty Lee dynamic cute?

MOMO!

This episode's thesis statement boils down to "what happens when you cancel arts programs and theatre kids don't get a chance to monologue in controlled conditions."

Honest question: Is Azula actually so deluded to believe that Divine Right of Kings crap she just spouted, or is she saying what the Dai Li needs to hear to side with her? Usually I think everything out of Azula's mouth is a calculated statement for manipulating others, but the way the show framed that monologue makes me think she actually believes what she's saying.

This conversation between Katara and Zuko, aside from showing that Katara is as capable as Sokka at sticking her foot in her mouth, is actually showing Zuko's growth well. So many of the things that he waves away with an "it's ok" are things that would have made him explode back in season one. It's about time he redefined that scar of his too.

"Aang! I knew you'd come!" "Uncle! The fuck?" Zuko truly has a way with words.

Hey Iroh maybe save your heart to heart until after you've exited the prison?

Wait so this episode is named after Zuko's arc? It's Zuko's destiny this finale is dealing with? Poor Aang's not even the main character in his eponymous show's season finale? Dang.

What was I saying about waiting to chat until you're outside the prison?

So every word out of Azula's mouth here is definitely a lie. She doesn't need Zuko at all. She's got a whole army and already has possession of the throne. What does she need with someone she considers to be an inferior firebender?

Father's love? That guy who burns off faces? The audacity.

"You are free to choose." Is it really freedom of choice if choosing the answer Azula doesn't want to hear ends with Zuko in a crystal cage?

Gotta say I'm intrigued by how quiet Zuko's being for this whole episode. Compare it to the volume of his confrontation with Azula at the Spa place at the beginning of the season.

This is so awful. This is so skin crawly. This is so going to end badly.

Toph can turn doors into ping pong balls. I like that. And what does she need Sokka scouting for Dai Li agents for? She can sense people for miles.

I love the line read on the "I'm not leaving without Bosco!" But does this guy really think he's in a position to make demands, after all the stuff he's ruined in the last, what, two days?

This is a cool move. Full body air bitchslap.

Katara cut her hair! That's kind of like what she did to Pakku with the ice disks.

How has no one been knocked out yet? Everyone in this fight should have at least 5 concussions by now.

I don't know what to make of it, but when Zuko says "I have changed" he sounds more calm and confident than he has all season.

I love the dynamic between Sokka & Toph and Mai & Ty Lee. Everyone involved knows they're second string and no one's really that invested. So they're all kind of chill.

I don't know what's going on in this fight, but Zuko is far too talented and Katara and Aang are both going down too easily.

And this right here is why this fight is only going to end badly for Aang. As soon as Azula's tired of playing, she'll call in reinforcements. Aang doesn't have those.

I hate Azula so much, which means I'm very annoyed to say that she and Zuko actually make a good fighting team. Did they practice drills together or something back in the day? They way they tag out and back in, and exchange fights, flows so well.

Jesus

Crap ok

She nerfed him in the power up sequence! That's not allowed!

So help me god if the writers hook these two up after pulling this crap I will riot.

Iroh could have been helpful if he'd been there earlier. Guess it takes a while to break out of crystals. Although I do like the detail that he stops fighting as soon as Aang and Katara are out & safe.

I was wondering why the magic water was randomly brought up earlier after disappearing for the entire season. I figured it had been lost in the desert with the rest of the stuff on Appa's saddle.

I'm so sorry, but the way Aang's arrow flashes once to confirm that Katara's saved him makes him look like an external USB device confirming successful connection.

I'm loving how immediate the regret from Zuko is. Proof that he has learned over the last two seasons.

"The Earth Kingdom... has fallen." AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? This King rubs me the wrong way. Consistently.

I'm fascinated by the fact that they managed to securely transport a bear on Appa's back.

Final Thoughts

Poor Aang has been demoted to secondary character in his own show. This finale was all Fire Nation.

Well done Azula. No matter which way you look at it, she won. If Azula was the main character, this episode would be the crowning glory series finale.

Sokka and Toph spent the whole episode running around putting out fires, only for five more to spring up in their place. I honestly don't know how they and Appa reconnected with the rest of the Gaang to fly out at the end. There's this feeling the whole episode of being consistently one too many steps behind, and I think it's most obvious in their incessant side quests.

Poor Katara went through about seventy billion emotions this episode. I take back my anger at her bitchiness. She deserved a vent session, although I don't think Zuko quite deserved to be the recipient of it. But he took it well.

Congratulations to Zuko for falling backwards into the only right choice for all the wrong reasons. This episode was only going to end with Azula victorious. She recruited an army and successfully executed a coup without breaking a sweat - that is not a level of enemy that Aang and friends has ever faced before, and not one they can realistically win against. Like with Long Feng, this is not a threat you can hit. You can't bend at ideologies and loyalties.

Zuko was going to end this episode siding with the Fire Nation as a free man, or in Fire Nation custody. This way, someone with an actual semi-functioning conscience now has access to the upper levels of the Fire Nation. This could be really interesting.

To be clear, I fully believe that Zuko chose to side with Azula because he swallowed her offer hook, line & sinker. For the guy who invented "Azula always lies" he sure does fall for her lies a lot, especially when she's saying exactly what he wants to hear. I believe Zuko believed her about getting his honour back bla bla bla, chose to follow her because of that belief, and has already realised at least some of what she said was lies by the end of the episode. Which is promising! It looks like there's potential for a Zuko mole next season!

I'm worried for Iroh. Firelords who burn their children's faces off with no shame don't strike me as the type to shy away from executing their brothers.

The Aang fakeout death at the end was not remotely believable unfortunately, mostly because kids' cartoons don't ever pull a Psycho and kill the nominal main character half way through. It probably would have freaked me out if I'd seen this episode as a kid though.

Azula hitting Aang during his power up sequence was inspired. A very well done subversion of expectations, which finally validates my frustrations with the concept of power up sequences in general. Few things bug me more than the mooks politely waiting their turn while the good guy does a quick wardrobe change.

So... is the war over? The Earth Kingdom's fallen, the Southern Water Tribe have been functionally out of the game for a while now. There's only the Northern Water Tribe left, which are only still standing because of a Hail Mary that I very much doubt Aang can pull off twice. So is next season's focus going to be defending the Northern Water Tribe from a final Fire Nation push? I think that's the only place that isn't conquered by the Fire Nation in name at least. On the bright side, this means the Gaang won't be returning to Ba Sing Se. Good riddance. I hate that place.

I've never seen a show with a finale that focuses so intensely on the conflict of someone other than the main character. I don't really know what to make of this episode. I think I liked the one before it better. To be clear, everything that happened made sense - characters were in character, events unfolded as expected (if you handwave an elite force of earthbenders preferring a 14 year old over their seasoned leader), but something about this episode is just a bit boring to me. Maybe they telegraphed it too hard in the previous episodes? I don't know. I'll have to chew on this one a bit.

[jungkoode]

I’m really enjoying FMU so far! I love how we’re slowly discovering more about the characters in each chapter, it’s really clear that you’ve put a lot of thought into each character even the side characters and I can’t wait to read more !!!🤩 not to mention the smut is absolutely 🔥 there’s just something about cocky Jk 🥵

This is kinda random but I saw that you avoid writing “yn” and I was just wondering like when jk and oc get a bit more serious with each other is he still never gonna say her name? Like I can’t imagine them confessing to each other or being close to that stage and him not saying her name, idk I’m just wondering because she says Jungkook sometimes like when they’re alone or when they’re intimate so I feel like it would be weird if he never says her name.

First of all, THANK YOUUUUUU!!! This ask made me so happy, I love knowing that people are actually picking up on the slow reveals and the depth I try to weave into every character (even the side ones!). I put an insane amount of thought into everyone’s motivations, histories, and dynamics, so seeing someone appreciate that? I will now be holding onto this comment forever. Also, I see you with that cocky Jungkook agenda. You are seen. You are valid. You are absolutely correct. He is criminally hot, and it’s unfair.

Now, onto the nickname thing! You’re absolutely right to wonder about it, and I’m so glad you asked because it gives me an excuse to nerd out over one of my favorite writing choices.

So, the thing about me is—I don’t do “Y/N.” I just don’t. It completely shatters immersion for me. It’s like I’m in the middle of a scene, deeply invested, and then BAM—suddenly, I’m ripped out of the moment because my brain is reminded that this is a fill-in-the-blank situation instead of an organically flowing story. And immersion? If you’ve read any of my work, you know how much I prioritize realism and immersion. I will micromanage every single detail of a scene, every microexpression, every shift in body language—because I want you to live it, not just read it. So, for me, “Y/N” is a hard pass unless it’s absolutely necessary.

But beyond that, nicknames mean something. They’re not just placeholders; they’re part of the story’s fabric. They carry history, weight, evolution. And FMU is built on layers of meaning. Jungkook calls her Phoenix because of something that actually happened. That moment wasn’t just a throwaway line; I made you experience it because I wanted that nickname to be part of their world, something real, something that sticks. It’s a small, insignificant thing—she dropped the flame while lighting a candle. But that tiny moment? It mattered. It became something only they understand, something that lingers between them without them realizing it yet.

Same with Rogue. She doesn’t just randomly call him that out of nowhere. She names him, assigns meaning to him, because she sees something in him that aligns with that title. He’s reckless. He pushes buttons. He doesn’t care about rules. And I didn’t just drop that nickname on page one—I waited. I let it build. By the time she actually calls him Rogue for the first time, it’s an earned moment. And again, only she calls him that. Just like only he calls her Phoenix. That’s the beauty of it—it’s theirs.

And it will evolve. That’s the thing—right now, these nicknames are playful, teasing, but as they grow closer, those names will take on new layers of intimacy. Right now, they don’t realize how much meaning these nicknames hold, but one day, they will. Because that’s how real nicknames work. They start as jokes, or accidents, or little moments of randomness, and then suddenly, they become part of something bigger. They become the way you call someone, and anything else feels strange.

So no, Jungkook probably won’t say her actual name, at least not often, because that’s just not how their dynamic works. But what he will do is make Phoenix mean something more.

Anyway, I love that you asked this because it shows you’re paying attention to the layers of the story, and I love readers who engage like this!! Thank you for your brain!! I appreciate you deeply!!!

[richincolor]

3 YA Black Horror Books for Spooky Season

Now that spooky season is in full swing all around me, it's time to turn to some spinechilling reads. It's been an amazing year for Black horror in YA, from an anthology (out October 17th!) to exciting new books that will keep you up all night long. Here are 3 YA horror books with Black protagonists for you to check out!

I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me by Jamison Shea

There will be blood. Ace of Spades meets House of Hollow in this villain origin story. Laure Mesny is a perfectionist with an axe to grind. Despite being constantly overlooked in the elite and cutthroat world of the Parisian ballet, she will do anything to prove that a Black girl can take center stage.

To level the playing field, Laure ventures deep into the depths of the Catacombs and strikes a deal with a pulsating river of blood. The primordial power Laure gains promises influence and adoration, everything she’s dreamed of and worked toward. With retribution on her mind, she surpasses her bitter and privileged peers, leaving broken bodies behind her on her climb to stardom.

But even as undeniable as she is, Laure is not the only monster around. And her vicious desires make her a perfect target for slaughter. As she descends into madness and the mystifying underworld beneath her, she is faced with the ultimate choice: continue to break herself for scraps of validation or succumb to the darkness that wants her exactly as she is—monstrous heart and all. That is, if the god-killer doesn’t catch her first.

From debut author Jamison Shea comes I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me, a slow-burn horror that lifts a veil on the institutions that profit on exclusion and the toll of giving everything to a world that will never love you back.

You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight by Kalynn Bayron

At Camp Mirror Lake, terror is the name of the game . . . but can you survive the night? This heart-pounding slasher by New York Times bestselling author Kalynn Bayron is perfect for fans of Fear Street.

Charity Curtis has the summer job of her dreams, playing the “final girl” at Camp Mirror Lake. Guests pay to be scared in this full-contact terror game, as Charity and her summer crew recreate scenes from a classic slasher film, Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. The more realistic the fear, the better for business.

But the last weekend of the season, Charity's co-workers begin disappearing. And when one ends up dead, Charity's role as the final girl suddenly becomes all too real. If Charity and her girlfriend Bezi hope to survive the night, they'll need figure out what this killer is after. Is there is more to the story of Mirror Lake and its dangerous past than Charity ever suspected?

All These Sunken Souls: A Black Horror Anthology by Circe Moskowitz (Anthology editor) -- Out on October 17th!

Welcome to the Dark. We are all familiar with tropes of the horror genre: slasher and victims, demon and the possessed. Bloody screams, haunted visions, and the peddler of wares we aren’t sure we can trust. In this young adult horror anthology, fans of Jordan Peele, Lovecraft Country, and Horror Noire will get a little bit of everything they love—and a lot of what they fear—through a twisted blend of horror lenses, from the thoughtful to the terrifying.

From haunted, hungry Victorian mansions, temporal monster–infested asylums, and ravaging zombie apocalypses, to southern gothic hoodoo practitioners and cursed patriarchs in search of Black Excellence, All These Sunken Souls features the chilling creations of acclaimed bestsellers and hot new talents, with stories from Kalynn Bayron, Donyae Coles, Ryan Douglass, Sami Ellis, Brent Lambert, Ashia Monet, Circe Moskowitz, Joel Rochester, Liselle Sambury, and Joelle Wellington.

[your-bigender-big-brother]

Hi big brother! i recently came out as a trans guy to my sister and her response was very supportive but i'm kind of scared bc i feel weird abt it. this happens every time i come out to someone who's known me a long time, i get this period of time where i think "augh what if i'm not really trans after all and ive just made a huge mistake coming out" and it usually does pass eventually but i never know how to deal with it, and theres always a part of me thats like "is this even a normal thing to feel when u come out? isnt coming out supposed to make me feel better? is the fact that its making me feel bad right now, even when im accepted, a sign that i'm not really the gender i came out as?"

i don't know what i wanted to get out of sending this ask i guess what i want to know is have you or any other trans ppl ever experienced this? i feel like i'm alone in feeling this way :S

When I first came out as "some kind of nonbinary" (which is exactly how I worded it), I definitely had that same feeling. I thought that maybe my nonbinary experience wasn't quite enough to call myself nonbinary, because I also still considered myself a man. It took me a while to settle into the label and feel valid in that choice.

Coming out isn't always what we expect it to be. Sometimes, there might be some hesitation or doubt. I think the feeling of "Maybe I'm faking it" comes from too many expectations, whether it's what we expect of ourselves or what others expect of us. When we say we're trans, it often feels like people expect us to fit the label in a very specific way or else we don't feel like we really are trans. And we can very easily fall into the idea that if other people think we're faking it, then we need to think we're faking it.

It could be that maybe you're in the very beginning stages of transitioning (if that's a goal for you) and maybe you don't feel like you're quite where you want to be on that journey, so it feels like you're coming out as someone who is still just getting started. At least, that's sort of what I felt when I first came out as trans. I thought that since I hadn't done any kind of name change or gotten on hormones, people might treat my coming out as a joke. it's especially true when we come out to people who have only ever known us one way, only to suddenly have to view us differently.

It could also be that you need to give it time to settle in and for people to start making changes in how they view you - a new name, new pronouns, different gendered terminology, or whatever else you would prefer to change. You only just came out, so people haven't had the time to refer to you in any new way.

Either way, doubting is normal. Feeling unsure or invalid is normal. These things always take time and I'm sure with time, you'll start to feel that relief you were looking for. - 💙💚

[inspireland]

If anyone's willing to have a civil discussion about this, please read. if not, please move along.

I'm not a loustat girlie, they're more or less on the same level as loumand to me, but I do have to say that imho both interpretations can be valid with the elements we were given in the show.

Since you described one of them, I'll explain the other, which is one I tend to lean more towards after giving the scene some thought.

It's not because I need Lestat to be the One True Love or some bs, but just because at that point, it has been canonically confirmed more than once that Louis simply didn't feel that deeply about Armand, which is a whole reason why Armand wasn't willing to risk it all for him and sided with the coven, instead. As expressed by Armand himself.

Besides the whole "companion?" "yes" "no" "call it whatever you want" "you don't even know my mother's name" thing, we also have Louis telling Armand he loves him while Dreamstat, which has been confirmed as being a projection of Louis' conscience, makes fun of it. Same as making fun of Armand romancing him.

Point is, Louis said the words "I love you" to Armand easily, but clearly not fully meaning it.

While he's never said them to Lestat, despite meaning it fully. And that's not debatable, no matter what ship you ship, his feelings for Lestat being so deep and important to him are at the root of the whole show. And it's been called out by Armand himself, and Claudia, and Daniel.

I do believe that Louis by that point felt genuine affection for Armand, but it's not farfetched at all for the deep sentiment that Madeline picked up on, being one aimed at Lestat instead of Armand.

Louis just finished talking about the maker-fledgling bond, which we know has some pull, and did so while trying (and failing) to use the same exact wording Lestat used when he explained it to Louis, back when things were good between them.

It's not stretch at all to see how Lestat being on his mind, and the love that it sparked, would be picked up by Madeline who, without context, would obviously think that the love felt there was for the partner present at the table. They're feelings, not words, not images. There's simply no way for Madeline to know who it was aimed at, so she'd go for context, except context is missing for her aka Louis' whole thing with Lestat and that "the architects of our creation..." is something Lestat told Louis.

That would explain Louis acting flustered when she points it out. He'd already said "I love you" to Armand more than once, he didn't act flustered when we saw him say it, so why would he act THAT flustered and defensive over it now?

"That's a bit personal. He knows. He KNOWS."

It's not a matter of being closeted in public bc they're talking among themselves at a table with a couple of queer women. But if it was exposing a sentiment he's never been able to openly express to the man he fully meant it for? Well.

And Armand, perceptive and mind reading master that he is, picking up on that, would take it as confirmation that, indeed, choosing the coven was the safer choice, hence him putting distance between himself and Louis.

It's not about putting Lestat/Loustat on a pedestal, but about the way the two relationships were presented and, more than that, the way Louis' approach to them was shown.

So yeah, at the end of the day, this theory has its own merits. Personally, I feel like it does fit well within the context and I do not think it demeans the affection between Armand and Louis in any way, it just builds on the fact that they were at different stages emotionally at that point of the relationship. And then shit goes down.

I dislike when people reduce loumand to a relationship devoid of genuine feeling. I don't think that's the case at all. But I also don't think Louis had the same level of emotional investment that he's had in the relationship with Lestat, for better and for worse.

I knew I didn’t want to interact with most of this fandom when I came online after the betrayal scene in 2x06 and people were saying Madeline sensing Louis’ love for Armand was actually her sensing his love for Lestat.

First off, that narratively makes no sense. The point of the scene is that Armand gets confirmation about the depth of Louis’ feelings for him right before betraying him.

Second, how would Madeline not be able to tell that the love she’s sensing isn’t directed at the person directly across from her but across a fucking ocean?

Lastly, this show is actually not subtle when things are about Lestat! When things are about him he literally will show up lmao.

[la-femme-en-rogue]

Cereza

Believe it or not, I do remember you all the time.

My mom also does and she would ask me how you are.

I would just answer her,

“She’s fine.”

I hope…

Because it has been long since the last time we talked.

I remember your feline-like eyes, your giggles, your lovely and wide beams, the times when we used to walk side by side with the other girls, then eat our lunch and share some laughs at a single table.

Talking about life, our own and people’s stupidity, the exams we aced, what would happen the next day, the older lads in the other room born in 1998 because we didn’t like the boys in our class, and more that I can barely remember now.

You were effervescent and had a very bright face, and you had a high-pitched, cheerful voice that you used to greet people you liked.

Your cheeks would grow scarlet, either from laughing too hard or from seeing your crush. So much words I could associate those moments with—like roses, hearts, rubies, and cherries.

Your parents made a wise choice in naming you.

Who would have imagined you growing up to blush so easily at almost anything? 

You’re not you without that. It made you stand out.

I hope you never hated that.

Do you remember when you invited only three classmates to your father’s birthday?

It was the two girls and me.

I forgot the reason why you had to bring only three people.

But I felt special, seen, loved, and you gave me cupcakes.

It’s such a shame. What was I thinking?

Those were the days where I valued most the gold, silver, and bronze, the merit and people’s applause.

I would bask in the adulation of my family and everyone who linked my name with brilliance and victories.

I was a trophy child, a perfectionist, terrified of failing.

Then something died inside of me.

Remember when I became 11th for the first time?

I wished I hadn’t learned I was originally 7th—deservingly, from the calculated class record.

I could’ve accepted it easier.

You knew about my introversion and how I disliked joining activities outside of school. I detested having to make up missed lessons and exams; I’d rather focus being present in classes.

Little did I know that would cost me everything I worked so hard for.

From 7 to 11 was a big gap.

I felt like a big part of me was taken away. I was silently condemning whoever had thought it was a good idea.

I was fighting for it in my head - that the goal was supposed to be on class performance rather than who received the most certs and had more funds for extracurricular travels, that there should’ve been a separate recognition ceremony for that.

But no words came out but uncontrolled cries and a lump in my throat.

Many would contend it wasn't a huge deal.

No, they didn’t understand.

Girls our age at the time get heartbroken over unreciprocated love and breakups, while no boy could break mine but a grade that was insufficient to make it to the cut.

Ultimately not because of neglect but because I knew I did very well—but in return didn’t bring me glory and I was the young girl who felt her first and biggest injustice.

You saw me cry in the room just before we took the stage to wrap out the school year.

It was still too much for my little heart to handle.

We were sitting face to face, both hands covering my face in an effort not to make others hear my sobs.

You didn’t say much, but you were stroking my hair and told me in the most reassuringly gentle voice possible,

“It’s fine. It’s fine.”

We were both teens but you were like a mother comforting her child. You acknowledged my hurt and that my feelings were valid.

If I recall well, you were rubbing my hand to calm me before taking it so we could go together.

You were the only person who was there.

It’s such a shame. What did I do?

The old adage was right.

We are all villains in someone’s story.

I was one in yours.

I threw it all away—for reasons I can no longer tell exactly; ashamed for how ruthless I was.

Your goodness didn’t matter to me.

My words were like swords and the effect was worse than a crimson slash wound in the skin. Like the most evil villain to exist, I aimed your heart.

I was conscious of the words I was saying, yet I found myself stoically looking at you.

Like the look in the face of women throwing old pictures in the fire to completely wipe out their memories of people once dear to them.

But you were in front of me.

The gleam in your eyes had faded and flooded with tears.

You were speaking with me in between sobs, yet I didn’t bother to touch you.

Finally, you asked if you could embrace me for the last time…

and I didn’t allow.

It still haunts me.

It’s my karma.

It’s almost been a decade and I know I’m no longer one of the most relevant people in your life.

But I would go back in time and be kinder to you—even if that means trading everything I was terrified to lose during those days.

I would if that means there were no hurt on your part.

I would if that means keeping our friendship.

But the damage has been done, no?

All I can do now is to write this while hoping life doesn’t get harder on you.

I’m very sorry you had to meet me.

We’re 23 now.

I’m still growing up, but I’m adult enough to know that you deserve the best in the world.

This is what my heart has been wanting to tell you for years.

I know we’re fine now—no more downpours and tremors. 

But wherever fate brings you, I honestly hope and wish there’s always a reason for you to blush.

[candygalaxyyy]

I realized something very important about msp and the screenwriter/director’s choice in building the plot. And episode 10 is a great example.

As i was rewatching the brilliance that is episode 10, I thought to myself if this was any other standard bl it would have gone differently. A tumor is such a serious matter, especially when it’s your mother, the only immediate family Gun has, he’s only 17/18 and he lost his father at a young age in such a sudden way. So of course he is going to be upset or even mad when his mum keeps this from him. And Tinn being in on it too, because in a relationship being open is so important and trust/honesty is everything.

I also noticed that Gun may have felt insecure (or possibly threatened) by the fact that his mum and Tinn kept this secret from him (which are valid feelings). Mostly because he says things like: “stay the hell out, she’s my mum”, “I’m your son yet i had no idea you were sick”, “what did he do for you?” and “why are you adoring him so much?” (He doesn’t even say Tinn’s name because in this situation he’s an outsider, he’s not her son or family member). And at this point Gun doesn’t know that his mum knows about Tinn and him or about all the sweet things Tinn has done for his dream. So him being confused/insecure/upset is warranted because he only has his mum. He is possessive of his mum, because they only have each other and her trusting someone else who isn’t family with such a important thing is puzzling for Gun (even more with him thinking she doesn’t know). And the best part about all of this is that both Tinn and Gun’s mum knew it would upset him, so they came prepared for his reaction. Gun’s mum explains everything to Gun instantly and makes him realize how deep and true Tinn’s love is for him, plus she emphasizes that this type of love is rare and must be cherished. Tinn doesn’t get angry or hurt by his reaction, he understands it and even reassures him that he would react the same way.

GMMTV could have easily used this to create tension for drama and conflict. They could have thrown in some trusty miscommunication, a heated conversation where people say or do hurtful things, a gateway to the ‘cursed ep 11 breakup’ and they could have milked the f out of this conflict. But they didn’t!!! Instead they turned it into a touching episode about love, friendship, family and being thankful for the people around you. They used it to highlight six things:

1. The beautiful relationship between Gun and his mum. They rely on each other, care for each other and love each other. They are mother and son, they are family.

2. The deep and pure love Tinn has for Gun. It is unconditional. Tinn did all these things for him without expecting anything in return. He just wants his crush/now boyfriend to be happy!

3. Gun realizing that Tinn is precious and he means much more to him than he lead on. That this is not some little high school relationship, it’s much deeper and heavier than that. So deep that he comes to the revelation that he’s only singing his song for Tinn and not the competition.

4. Gun’s mum supporting her son in everything whether it be his dream or love life. And the growing mother-in-law and son-in-law relationship between her and Tinn, like this woman already trust him with her life. She’s planning the wedding as we speak.

5. Their friends are amazing. Tiw constantly supporting his bestie and giving him advice. The chinchillaz boys comforting and hugging Gun on stage when he finds out his mum his safe and the surgery went well.

6. TINNGUN ARE THE HEALTHIEST, SWEETEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL SWOONWORTHY BOYFRIENDS IN BL HISTORY.

‘My school president’ is truly a gem and GMMTV hit the jackpot with GeminiFourth. Case closed.

[iatethepomegranate]

Matthew Mercer, Will, and Player/Character Needs in C3e34

Now that I've typed out the Will/Orym scene including Matt's narration, I have feelings. Namely, how Matt used this scene to satisfy player and character needs in a situation where there was potential for the two to conflict. I will also probably ramble about Will as a character in another post because he fascinates me more with every piece of info we get about him.

Obviously, spoilers for c3e34 are here.

We're at a stage in the game where no one's stories are really complete. Once the decision is made to resurrect a character and the roll succeeds, it then becomes Matt's job to weave a satisfactory scene for a player/character in a way that allows their story to continue, while respecting the way that character is feeling in the moment.

With Ashley/Fearne, Matt didn't have to give her too much. Fearne is a creature of whim and everyone she loves is alive, as far as we know. Matt did offer a confusing and even a little scary peek of an afterlife for her, which Fearne naturally rejected.

Liam/Orym needed more. Because clearly Liam wanted Orym's story to continue, but Orym died with a heavy sense of failure and defeat. And he was clearly hoping to see Will and Derrig again. He had very valid reasons to throw in the towel.

Orym knew that he needed to go back, but he was so torn between a task he was carrying out for the sake of his loved ones, and between getting to stay with them (Will and Derrig both) after having lost them under horrific, violent circumstances that still haunt him to this day.

So, what did Matt do? He gave Liam the tragic reunion scene, knowing he would eat it right up, but he didn't stop at Will telling Orym to go back.

He had Will choose for him.

In sparing Orym from that heartbreaking decision, Liam is able to continue this story. Would Orym have chosen to go back if he'd had to make the choice himself? Probably, especially if Will was still telling him to.

But Orym has been through a lot, and I imagine Liam and Matt discussed at length the balance between what Orym's narrative needed vs what Orym himself needed as a character. Orym needed to be pushed (i.e. lovingly tossed) by the very person whose death put him on this path to begin with.

As a result, we can already see Orym rallying himself, digging deep to give himself and the Hells fresh motivation and drive to keep pushing onward. He was quite assertive in the remainder of the episode, offering up huge solutions (let's go Kiki!) and even stepping in to threaten Treshi when their designated intimidator fell short.

Is it all sunshine and rainbows for Orym from here? Of course the fuck not. But this decision to have Will take charge in that scene and do what would have shattered Orym to do has not only allowed his story to continue, but to do so in a way that galvanises him.

I also foresee Orym potentially opening up to the rest of the Hells about Will in the not-too-distant future, especially since he's indicating feeling kinship with Imogen over the way she's feeling and acting about Laudna's (hopefully fixable) death.

[codename-adler]

Death of Heroes

Because not even Neil can outrun the ephemerality of men.

Renee is the first one to go. 

Nearing sixty but never reaching it, she is outlived by Abby and Wymack. At least Stephanie Walker is waiting for her at the gates of Heaven, but for the rest of her Foxes, the loss is heavy.

It’s cancer. Leukemia.

It started with the bruises from her sparring matches with Andrew not healing very well. Then not at all. After decades of maintaining these monthly meetings, of keeping her body healthy, Renee finally has to give it up. She knows something is wrong, and she knows that these sessions won’t be of any help, now.

Then the extreme fatigue starts. Still, Renee doesn’t do a thing about it. Or at least, she lets life go its own course. She looses weight, which she already doesn’t have much of. But then the nosebleeds begin, and it’s no use telling Allison to stop worrying. The diagnosis is unsurprising, yet still shattering. And it’s not a good prognosis either, but it’s still not bad enough for the doctor to give up the Five-Year survival plan.

Renee has to speak up. Ally, I don’t want to do this. She has to put her foot down. Allison, my love, it’ll be okay. I won’t get better, you and I both know that. But it can be okay. It can still be good.

Renee doesn’t get treatment. Renee doesn’t tell anybody, except Andrew. Because Andrew knows, somehow, that she made a terrible, irreversible choice. Because Andrew only deals in truths. Because Andrew is Andrew, and just as he needed her all those years ago, she needs him now.

A little more than six months pass, with less and less outings from Renee and more and more excuses from Allison, and Renee gets sick. Really sick. It starts like a regular cold. Then it looks more like the flu. And suddenly it’s pneumonia, and respiratory difficulties, and lung failure. She’s in that hospital bed, wearing that gown, breathing in that mask. Renee finally nods to Allison, giving her consent.

Ally makes the call.

Only Andrew and Dan make it in time.

Renee Walker goes out like a light.

The Foxes, who had once upon a time been used to murders, life-threatening schemes and acts of extreme violence, had never really known Death itself. The simple, yet inevitable fate of human lives. Of going quietly into the night. It’s all so quiet. So anticlimactic. It’s so quiet, too quiet, too heavy with silence. This time, there is no one to blame, no one to punish, no one to take responsibility.

It’s just life. It’s just death.

Wymack and Abby can’t believe that one of their Foxes, on of their kids, left before them. Renee’s Korean roots made her look barely a day over forty, which made it all so much worse. Renee’s death takes a toll on every single one of them. Because it’s Renee, the best of them. Because all her papers are in orders, her will to date, her wishes known; just as when she was alive, she leaves no chaos behind her.

There is nothing and no one to be mad at, except life.

In the cemetery where Stephanie Walker is buried, Andrew buys a large lot of land. (Large enough to one day welcome all the Foxes) The tomb is moved over there, and Renee’s name is added. A tree is planted above her scattered ashes. It’s very small, very fragile, but with the years, it grows strong.

For the first time, the Foxes realize that, despite going through Hell and back in their youth, they are not immortal. There is nothing to be done about that, but it hurts. It hurts to lose their angel this way, so soon, so suddenly. It hurts to lose, period. It feels like a failure, like giving up. They lost her. They lost.

But somehow, they gained something else they might never know about. Renee might have been the only religious one among them, but that didn’t stop her from becoming their Guardian Angel. Because somehow, from then on, the Foxes were spared.

Let me show you.

Just as Bee had a few years before Renee, Abby, then Wymack, simply die in their sleep, no fight, no agony. None of them have to see another Fox go before them. They don’t have to go through that indescribable ordeal ever again. They are spared the pain.

Then decades pass, enough for the remaining Foxes to grow very old, and live very long. Not infinitely, but long enough.

Matt is the next one to go.

Matt has worked hard all his life, both mentally and physically. It comes to no surprise, then, that arthritis chose to invade his body. For the first few years living with the diagnosis, natural medicine and osteopathy are enough to keep the pain at bay. It doesn’t stop Matt from doing anything. He babysits his 9 grandchildren with Dan every week; he goes on roadtrips with Dan every summer; he goes on a light jog with Dan every day.

It’s just that one day, it’s not enough anymore. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the pain becomes too much for Matt to do his day-to-day activities. And really, the pain, he could take; it was an old friend, a familiar feeling, almost like a sixth sense.

It was the mental toll of it all that he couldn’t take. To have to say no to seeing his grandchildren. No to driving around endlessly and aimlessly for hours. No to waking up in sync with Dan every morning, and no to their routine, and no, and no, and just- not living.

For the first time in a long time, Matt doesn’t want to do this anymore.

But he does, still. He smiles, and he lies, and he tries to will away the pain.

It all comes down to one afternoon, when he takes his painful walk of the day around the neighborhood. There are three little kids playing Exy in their driveway, when suddenly a ball escapes their racquets and rolls down in the street. The smallest kid runs after it, runs and runs and runs, without looking. Kind of like Neil, Matt thinks to himself before his body acts of his own. The kid doesn’t see the car, and the car doesn’t see the kid. Matt sees both.

The BMW is going way over the limit, its sleek black sides reflecting the sun too brightly. Despite his pain, despite his age, despite his now slow reflexes, Matt leaps. He screams at the kid to stop and turn around, to let the ball roll away, but to no avail. 

Matt pushes the kid away in time for the car to hit him instead, and only him.

The rest becomes a blur, but the final verdict is as such: broken hip, shattered leg, probably won’t walk ever again, even with surgery. The doctors and surgeons warn Matt that with his age, his pre-existing condition, and his drug history, surgery might kill him. But Matt refuses to be bedridden for the rest of his already miserable life. Dan knows that. She knows that he has to try. Knows that he might not pull through. She also knows that Matt wants to go, has wanted to for a while now. 

She calls Neil. She calls Allison. From there, all the Foxes are bound to get the news. Matt promises to wait until their arrival before going into surgery. In the meantime, the nurses start a morphine line, after warning the couple very strongly about the side effects and the risks. But Matt is in pain, terrible pain, and it’s a compromise to wait for his Foxes. It takes about a week for all of them to come to his bedside, with Nicky being last, coming all the way from Germany. Neil and Allison barely leave his room; Dan doesn’t at all. The others take turns, leaving as much space for Matt’s kids and grandkids as their hearts can allow.

The open spot for Matt’s surgery is on a Friday.

Matt Boyd does not make it to Friday. 

The morphine is too heavy on his heart. It was a possible outcome, not as alarming as the upcoming surgery, but... Matt had secretely wished to go ever since and- maybe, up there in Heaven, someone heard him... 

Dan and Matt had had a mutual understanding, that it was okay, but it doesn’t make it any more easy to let go. 

Two months into Matt’s departure, Allison moves in with Dan. She walks her through every stage of grief. She grieves all over again herself, too. But they make it.

Same goes for Andrew with Neil. Neil doesn’t know loss like this. Death like this.

And yet. And yet. Deep, deep down, Neil is scared. That after all his years of running, and fighting, and lying, he won’t get that peaceful ending Matt was granted.

But Neil lives.

And Nicky leaves.

A few months after Matt, he and Erik simply stay in the States. They say it’s because they want to be close, because they don’t want to miss anything, because they don’t want to risk a Fox leaving without a chance at saying goodbye. Because Nicky misses his Aaron and his Andrew.

Which are all valid and true motives. It’s just not the whole truth.

Nicky has dementia. Alzheimer’s, to be precise. Diagnosed about a year ago. It’s not bad yet, but- It’s the endless back-and-forth between the house and “der Supermarkt” because Nicky forgot what he drove there for in the first place. It’s forgetting words in all the languages Nicky speaks. It’s freaking out at all the Germans speaking German, because Nicky sometimes believe he is still living in America. It’s not finding the Columbia house and panicking when Nicky can’t get a hold of Andrew or Aaron.

It’s hard, it’s heartbreaking, it’s terrifying, but it’s manageable.

Once Nicky and Erik settle back down in North Carolina, they both wonder how long it’ll take before the twins figure it out, because there is no way Nicky is telling them, but he also knows nothing can get past his twins.

And he’s right. Between Aaron’s acute knowledge of Medicine and Andrew’s reknown lie-detector skills, it takes about 14 days for them to take Nicky hostage and demand the truth. 

As the year comes to an end, Nicky’s dementia doesn’t seem to progress that much. He seems to escape the worst. He doesn’t forget anyone. He doesn’t become aggressive, doesn’t go missing, doesn’t lose any function of his body. Without looking too closely, Nicky is simply getting old. 

The twin girls he and Erik adopted get to move back in for a little while, having lived in the U.S. all their lives and seeing their parents fly to Germany after their retirement. They know, too, and try to make the most of it. They are lucky. They are so lucky. Nicky is a miracle patient.

In the end, though, it’s Nicky’s body rather than his mind that gives out. Once you reach a certain point in time living with the disease, but without the general complications of it, eventually the brain has trouble managing all the organs of the body. So instead of forgetting to eat, or forgetting names and faces, sometimes your brain doesn’t remember how to make your heart beat. Or how to make make your lungs breathe.

Nicky Hemmick stops breathing in the middle of the night, after having wished his twin daughters goodnight, texted his other set of twins goodnight, and kissed his husband goodnight. Nicky had thought, then, that it was indeed, a good night.

Just as he had remembered his Foxes until the end, he was remembered by them as the big-hearted lover that Heaven had just gained as its new angel.

Too soon after him, though, it’s Allison’s turn. 

It’s not that she’d simply been waiting around for the day she could be reunited with Renee. She just didn’t understand why her Foxes kept leaving, and why she was still stuck here without her other half. 

She didn’t just wait, though. She helps Dan out with the grandkids, and sometimes the grown-up kids too. She volunteers a lot. She gives back to the Columbia community, and all around the world. She travels to places she’s never been, places that remind her of Renee, but are void of painful memories. She empties their bucket list, and much more. The last thing Allison has yet to do, the only thing left to do, is mending her relationship with her parents. Or parent. Singular. In spite of everything, including the death of her husband, Francesca Reynolds was still standing strong at the head of the Reynolds empire. 100 years old was nothing when you lived in spite. 

In a twisted way, Allison believed that maybe her mother was the last piece she needed to mend before she was allowed to go. That despite being gone for years, Renee was still there somewhere, looking out for her and making sure she didn’t have any regrets. 

So Allison accomplished the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the impossible. For the first time in decades, she flew back to the Reynolds estate and spoke to her mother. In person. 

It was not the emotional reunion Renee might have hoped for, but it was a reunion still. That was more than enough for Allison. They didn’t talk about the big things. The important things. But they talked. They talked. And they scheduled another talk. 

Back home with Dan, Allison embraced her friend and let the tears fall. She was grateful for her friend, but both of them knew that these were not the arms Allison wished to be held in. She went to rest a bit before dinner, and she tried to imagine how it would feel like to have Renee hold her again.

For someone as loud, as present and as strong as she was, Allison Walker slipped quietly from time. 

When Dan found her, she could only smile tearfully. She played with her hair one last time as she called her Foxes.

Allison left Dan in charge of her finances, and so she took over her charity duties and went above and beyond to honor her friend’s memory. Her sister.

Dan thought she would be next. She wished, she hoped, she prayed to be next.

She wasn’t.

Kevin was.

He might have been the biggest and hardest loss to weather. It wasn’t a feeling that could be explained. As painful as it had been to lose Renee, and Matt, and Nicky, and Allison, losing Kevin was... the great and terrible 10, as they’d say.

Kevin should have died way sooner. His liver should have given out because of all the alcohol it had endured in Kevin’s youth. His heart should have given out because of all the stress it had faced for most of Kevin’s life. All the bad things that could happen with old age should have happened to Kevin, but they didn’t. They didn’t. 

Death came knocking one day, and politely asked him if he would please follow them, and Kevin simply took it as a sign that his time was up.

That day, Kevin had felt a numbing pain in his chest all morning long. Used to little injuries here and there, he hadn’t thought anything of it. And he certainly wasn’t about to worry his doctor of a husband... 

However, as the sun reached it’s highest in the sky, Kevin couldn’t really hide his pain any longer. He had lain down on their couch for a bit, but he couldn’t seem to get back up. It was too exhausting. So he called for Aaron, as loud as he could in the state he was. 

As Aaron stumbled into the living room, Kevin tried to use his softest voice to inform his husband of the situation. Aaron immediately called an ambulance, and when the vehicle took them both away, he reached for his phone again to make, once again, a terrible call to their Foxes. But through his oxygen mask, Kevin reached out to grap his wrist and whispered, with difficulty, just Neil... just Andrew...

Because here’s the thing: Kevin loved his Foxes, and his Foxes loved him back. Immensely. 

He loved them so much he had married one, with another one of them as best man (Neil), another as his husband’s (Andrew), and yet another one as their celebrant (Renee). 

They loved him so much that it was only short of worship by a hair or two. And Kevin knew that. He loved Dan like a sister. And by extension, he loved Erik like a brother, too. And he loved all the Foxes’ children and grandchildren like his own, despite never being a parent himself. 

But Neil and Andrew... There were no words for what they were to him. He knew that he wouldn’t have to talk them through it. He knew they would be the only ones strong enough and close enough to hold Aaron up in case it all turned to shit the moment he passed the hospital doors. 

And being the History nerd he had always been, Kevin had written letters, a long time ago. To his Foxes. Most of them had left before him, and so he could never give them their letters, but Dan, and Erik for Nicky, could still have those letters. Kevin poured everything into these letters. It had taken him years, ever since Renee’s departure. He wrote, and threw away, and started again, until he got it right. Nine letters, for his nine Foxes. Andrew knew about it. He’d give Nicky’s and the upperclassmen’s to Dan and Erik, and they’d understand. Kevin didn’t want them to be there, at the very end of it all. He just wanted Aaron. And Neil. And Andrew.

Those three had letters waiting for them, too. Andrew would hand them over a month later. But he would never open his.

Andrew and Neil arrived just before 1 PM. Kevin was hooked on all sorts of IVs and still had the oxygen mask on. His heart monitor was beeping very, very slowly, erratically. He was still Kevin Day in all his gloriousness, but he was much more Kevin, their beloved Kevin.

On one side of the hospital bed, Aaron never let go of Kevin’s hand. On the other side, Kevin removed the mask and weakly motioned for Neil to take the other hand. But Neil was stunned. Frozen. So Andrew came up behind him, and held Kevin’s hand. 

It would be the first, and the last time.

Just as Neil finally sprung into action and went to put a hand on Kevin’s shoulder, feeling his wiry muscles and his fragile bones underneath the hospital gown, Kevin closed his eyes. 

The heart monitor began flatlining.

Neil looked at the monitor, then to Kevin. He looked at Andrew, then back at Kevin, and then at Aaron. His eyes couldn’t stay focused on one thing. He was still hoping. He was still refusing.

Aaron lowered his head. Kissed Kevin’s hand.

Andrew held on tighter to Kevin’s other hand. Gripped the back of Neil’s neck.

Kevin took Death’s hand, which felt a lot like Aaron’s, and Andrew’s, and Renee’s, and walked away.

Aaron unplugged the monitor. And called it.

Time of death: 13:01.

It took exaclty one month, day for day, for Aaron to leave as well. They called it the Broken Heart Syndrome. On the surface, Aaron had held it together. But Andrew knew. He saw. That he was losing him as well. 

Some could say that, by handing over Kevin’s letter, Andrew killed his brother. But those who would say that didn’t even begin to understand the complexity of the bond between twin brothers. Especially not the Minyards. 

Because what Andrew really did, with that letter, was gifting Aaron with relief.

Peace. Quiet. 

Love. 

Aaron could exhale, now. He would see Kevin soon, now.

And so in the same room, in the same bed as his husband’s, Aaron Minyard forced Death’s hand and demanded to see Kevin again.

And then there were three.

Dan lived for so long that she started to fear outliving her children. She felt old, so old. In her head and in her heart. She did not believe in a God, but she often found herself praying to someone, anyone. She did not believe in angels and demons, but she often wondered how long they would keep her from Death.

So she waited. For the days to go and the nights to pass. She barely ate anymore. She barely moved. She was only feeling okay when she slept outside, in her chair in the backyard, the sun shinning on her beautiful face. She could sleep for hours there, surrounded by her lively garden. The wind swayed her skirts, the trees whispered in her ears. It was okay.

And at the same time, it wasn’t. 

She was tired. She was lonely. Even Erik, a couple of years ago, had gone to rejoin his husband. Neil visited her at least once a week, but he still had Andrew. He couldn’t understand, nor could he stay away from him for too long. He would miss him too much.

Every year she celebrated another birthday, and every year she blew her candles wishing they were her last.

And at last, her wish came true.

Dan was expecting one of her kids to come by in the afternoon. The Carolina sun was shinning quite hard on her, so she had placed her chair in way that let the sunlight hit the back of her head, turned away completely from her house. Her daughter knew exactly where to find her when she arrived, and so she didn’t wait for a response to her presence before making her way down into the garden. She had called her mother multiple times, and had assumed she was sleeping when she hadn’t answered.

Dan was not sleeping.

Dan Wilds had left this world, the sunlight pouring down on her like the radiant goddess that she was.

Being one of the last Foxes, it took a day before Neil and Andrew got the news of her death. They don’t get involved in the funeral preparations, but they show up. And that’s enough. 

People don’t really bother them anymore, so they can bid farewell to their Captain in relative peace. They come by Dan’s house aftwerwards, too, and help her kids out with everything. Yes, even Andrew. 

Dan’s death makes them reflect the most.

About the Foxes. About each of their departures. How they all lived a good and long life. How they all died a good and quiet death. 

They think about how they were always the ones nearing death, always fighting to stay alive. About how they died a million deaths before the age of 18.

They think about how they are the last ones standing, even after everything. 

They survived. They lived. 

(They loved)

Neil and Andrew should not have gotten this far. They should not have lived this long. They shouldn’t have. But somehow, somewhere above, someone has watched over them and made sure that they didn’t get the ending they should’ve had, but the ending they deserved.

Neil and Andrew don’t really want to die. They don’t really want to live on either. But they take every day that they are given, to be with each other, to mend their hearts still, to breathe. 

They take every breath they can.

They wonder who will leave first. Who will have to say goodbye and stay behind, who will have to wait. 

It’s a fear neither of them had ever thought they’d have. Not like that.

And it’s only a matter of time before they get their answer. They are, after all, getting very old. It is both a blessing and a curse.

After decades of partnership, Neil and Andrew still go to bed the same way they did when they were eighteen. Both facing each other, their hands joined in the middle, their nose a breath apart.

After decades of peace, Neil and Andrew still wake from sleep at the slightest abnormality.

Which is why the minute Neil Josten gives out his last breath, Andrew awakes.

Neil’s hand in his is still warm and his skin is still soft. His hair, although completely white for quite some years now, still have that bronze glow to them. They’re still curly, and soft to the touch. Andrew passes a hand through them before resting it on the back of Neil’s neck. 

He looks at Neil like it’s the first time, tries to memorize every detail of his beautiful face. He rubs circle in his skin, and takes in everything that was, that is Neil. His husband. His junkie. His rabbit. His pipedream. His lover. His love.

Andrew doesn’t move from their bed. 

When he has finally spoken everything that he feels to Neil, from the safety of his mind, Andrew moves closer to him so their foreheads touch and noses align. He takes Neil’s lifeless hand again, and kisses it. He sets their hands back down, between the two of them, and looks at Neil one last time.

And slowly, Andrew Minyard closes his eyes, forever.

[drpg-global-archive]

DRPG - EVENT - GET BACK! CAT CAFE CRISIS

2/5 Partnership

Virunga, the manager, has regained his composure. But why did Virunga open a cat cafe in the Netherworld?

The Plan Goes Wrong

Xenolith: So, you're trying to use cats to weaken the demons so as to ensure the safety of Celestia?

Virunga: Exactly.

Etna: But we did nothing wrong!

Virunga: It'd be too late by the time you invade Celestia. One should always make preparations for a rainy day. But waging a war is the last thing that Seraph wants. That's how I came up with this idea! Demons will surely be obsessed  by adorable cats and therefore realize the splendor of love! The healing nature of cats will plant the seed of love in demons' hearts, and demons will no longer pose a threat to Celestia! My plan was flawless…

Xenolith: I see. That's really a terrifying plan. The charm of cats is irresistible... This plan makes perfect sense.

Etna: It makes no sense at all! Ah, that's enough for me. That's why you opened a cat cafe in this Netherworld. I think he has learned his lesson, brother. It's a shame we didn't get the desserts, but I think we're good to go.

Xenolith: Yeah.  Now that their plan is foiled, they won't harm those adorable cats... Well, I mean, the Netherworlds.

Virunga: W-Wait! I'm humiliated to ask demons for help, but I don't have a choice. Please! Please help me... No, help those cats!!

Stage 1 - The Angel's Wish 1 Stage 2 - The Angel's Wish 2

Terms of Exchange

Etna: Why should we help you with your wicked plan? We're here to enjoy the superb desserts!

Virunga: Do you care about desserts more than those adorable cats?!

Etna: Of course I do! You were planning to make demons obsessed by cats, but I think you're the one who is obsessed.

Virunga: ...What?! Speaking of which, I don't remember when I started to obsess over cats...

Xenolith: Cats' charisma must not be underestimated.

Etna: What are you so proud of bro...?

Xenolith: Maybe we can help him, Etna? He's an angel after all. We do him a favor, and he'll pay us back.

Virunga: Huh...?

Xenolith: Of course, we won't do it for free.

Virunga: B-But I'm an Archangel!  Why do I have to pay demons?!

Etna: Okay. Then I'm leaving. Are you okay with that?

Virunga: A-Alright. Here's a single-day dessert coupon…

Etna: Awesome! A desserts coupon valid for one whole lifetime!  That's really generous of you, Archangel! ♪

Virunga: No! I said "single-day"...

Etna: Well, if it's for free desserts for a lifetime, then I'm in. I'll help you with this!

Virunga: Ah... How on Earth...

Xenolith: ​​So, what exactly do you want us to do?

Virunga: The truth is, since we opened this cat cafe, a demon named Barbara has been coming here and stealing the cats away from other customers. Others seldom came here because of her.  As if that weren't enough, a mysterious organization has been putting pressure on us, too…

Etna: That sounds terrible. Why don't we just beat Barbara up  and kick her out of this cafe?

Virunga: B-But she's our customer. Just don't go too far, all right? She's in the VIP room. Let me show you the way.

Stage 3 - Inside the Cafe 1 Stage 4 - Inside the Cafe 2

VIP Treatment

Celestial Host A: My lady... This is the black tea you ordered. How many sugar cubes would you like?

Barbara: Hmm... How am I supposed to know? Tell me how many sugar cubes I should have!

Barbara: You should give me an order about how many cubes I should add, how they should be put in, and how to mix it properly!

Cat: Meow…

Barbara: Oh, you've stopped playing with the cat toy. So, you want me to scratch your chin, right? I love the way you give orders to me!

Celestial Host B: ​​E-Excuse me, my lady? I'm so sorry for bothering you, but… You've been hogging all the cats.  This is disturbing the other guests.  May I ask you to leave…

Barbara: Leave from where? Where am I expected to go?  How am I supposed to follow such an obscure order? You really should learn from these cats and give me a more precise command!

Etna: Whoa! That lady is definitely picking a fight. I thought I heard the name "Barbara" before.  As I suspected, it's you, that annoying Order-Taking Demon.

Barbara: It is you, Etna.

Etna: It's been a while, Barbara. I'll give you an order, then. Stop seizing all the cats.

Barbara: I'll not take such an unreasonable order. I'm not seizing them. I'm just playing with these lovable cats.

Xenolith: Sure, this is what we do in a cat cafe. But I think it's inappropriate to hog all the cats to yourself.

Barbara: Why is everyone trying to take my lovable cats away from me?!

Etna: It's because you're hogging them all.

Barbara: I'm doing nothing wrong! They give orders, and I obey them! You'll leave me no choice if you insist on ruining my sweet time. For my lovable cats, I'll have to drive you out from my cat cafe.

Virunga: But this is MY cat cafe!!

Stage 5 - Barbara the Cat Demon

Boss - Barbara: Don't disturb the good times between me and my cats!!

The Next Incident

Barbara: Why...? I was just following their orders and playing with them happily…

Xenolith: Barbara, is it? Sometimes you shouldn't feed the cats even if they ask you for food. If this cat cafe goes bankrupt because of you, these cats will lose their home, and you'll never be able to see them again.

Barbara: Is that so. I see... I was so absorbed in these lovable cats that I neglected everything else. I'm so sorry. I didn't even notice that. I'm really an incompetent demon with an empty heart.

Virunga: That's what we've been saying…

Barbara: R-Really? I was so caught up in these lovable cats  that I didn't hear anything else... I'm so sorry.

Etna: So, this problem is solved, right? Where is the one-lifetime free coupon you promised-

Celestial Host A: I-It's an emergency, Archangel!!

Virunga: Wh-What's going on this time? Speaking of which, where are the cats Barbara had?

Celestial Host B: That's precisely the problem.  While you were fighting, our cats were taken away by guys from the Association for Feline Rights.

Virunga: Whaaaaaaat!?

[warrmonger]

*taps mic* hi hello good night! I'm here to talk about Magnar Valerio Heidegger because of course that is his canon name and I don't care what SE has to say about it. :) No, but really - I know I've said this in the past but Heid is an emotional muse for me and I'll do this again.

I don't think I was prepared for how much you made me care for him - it's fair that the remake made him more than a lil pixel in a green coat and thick beard, but I had no feelings or thoughts for Heid until I met you. I remember being a weird choice of a muse - Reeve and Scarlet (even Hojo with the yucky factor) were such popular directors, why would someone pick Heidegger?

All I can say is that I'm glad you did it because HOLY FUCK. I remember reading through this incredibly long and detailed bio and just... Fully seeing Heidegger as a fully-fleshed character. The abuse at the hands of the father he failed to recognize as such; the intense pressure to succeed and to please him nonetheless; the marriage that ended in heartbreak with two daughters he didn't spend nearly enough time with; the worship of Shinra Sr.; his views on world politics and how he so clearly sees himself as a man with the guts to do what needs to be done to achieve results.

With your writing, I just went from someone who largely ignored him to someone who frankly adores the character. There is just so MUCH room for growth, complicated themes to work with and you just turned him into this layered, complex asshole I love? That Melissa would definitely marry no matter the verse? I just cannot get enough of how much history you've given him, how plausible it all sounds and the fact that you write a villain we can relate/understand his reasoning without ever woobifying him.

You are THE Heidegger writer to me and I'm forever amazed and wowed by your headcanons and super well detailed posts. It all tracks to the OG or the remake in some way and it's just so good I forget it's not canon. Or fuck that - you're better than canon. PLUS Heidegger gave me you and 3 years later (3 years??? omg) we're here and having fun and I will never not love the husbando for it.

You're amazing and your Heidegger is a work of art. *mic drop*

hey…how’s my portrayal? ♡

(( MARI. WHAT THE FUCK ----

i legit saw the start of this and thought 'ooohhhh, a nice tasty lil ask for heidegger & mel to have sexy times in' AND THEN I KEPT READING AND I WAS LIKE 'WAIT A SECOND'. you know something, i'm not much of an emotional bear - i think we both know this because i have n e r v e s of s t e e l but...this got my eyes damp? like, what the hell???

i feel emotional reading this, it's like how i mentioned to light; it feels good to have been given the platform and supported by you guys in writing heid. like, i feel as though these headcanons and storylines and stuff come out because of you guys. i sometimes feel so embarrassed by my love of this guy because he isn't cloud or sephiroth or even one of the lesser but still popular characters (ala rufus or tseng). like, who the hell would like heidegger? haha. well, me apparently :P

but it feels great because i get this support and this validation by people like yourself. you just DIVEBOMB into my inbox with this absolute love letter of goodness and it honestly has me feeling so warm and fuzzy. ive been so down these last few weeks just due to various bits and pieces and you know, when you reach a stage where you can't even cry* because you feel so shit? well, now i'm sat here with lil happy tears beading in the corners of my eyes - like, bruh- you did that, i love you for it.

of course - i can't just fawn on how much i love you and how sweet you are, mari. because our friendship is special and i'm so forever grateful to have started to write with you that one day and i'm so glad that everything from there has happened and we've always stayed in touch but like -

melissa. you KNOW i wouldn't have half the characterisation of heid if it wasn't for her. that initial meeting - the INITIAL plots we had with the blackmail and stuff before these two coconuts fell in love. their son and retirement to costa del sol. remember the bitchy neighbour that mel HATED? edlyn and dwayna befriending mel and mel restoring their relationship with their father? all of the smut and all of the wonderful things we've written together? mari, you're such a special writing partner to have. you're one in a million. your girl is the best and i (and my lil collection of men) will forever love her. i don't even need to tell you how much i adore your writing because you know i could read a novel of your works. please write mel into a book, i NEED

my final thing i wanna say is just -

suns out, guns out - i love them and i love you ♡♡♡♡

[organic-guacamole]

HSMTMTS SEASON 3 EPISODE 7 REACTION

i just finished watching the paw patrol movie so at the end of this episode I can see how they compare 👯‍♀️

ooo a Maddox opening

why did they do that cut with EJ saying "I wish I could" to Gina. THERE IS A VALID EXPLANATION DONT DO HIM DIRTY

no one gonna mention how hot these campers all are? ummmm I'd be down for a shallow lake spin off because every camp I've been to cannot compare.

Ricky didn't finish the crust though🤨🤨

just when I thought they couldn't break ricky any more than they already have....

ASHLYN

wait her name is Valerie?

ASHLYN

she looks so happy and I'm happy eeeeeee

so was Maddox and Madison's thing why the rule was implemented? 👀

AWW JET

I don't understand why Maddox couldn't go with Jet to talk, like now these kids are outside in their dressing gowns and she's fully dressed 🚶🏽‍♀️

"you can come out now"

"no I already did that"

cOMEDY IM WHEEZING

oo JoJo Siwa *acts shocked like I didn't know she'd be in this 2 months ago*

this episode is something omg

"I want David Bowie not Rupaul"

"I have never shown this much cleavage"

who's writing the scripts and when can I meet them

2 things: love the running joke of making assumptions on the theme and LOVE Carlos in headbands thank you stylists.

no because I like Jet but why would inviting an ex with no warning be good. also MADISON YOU BROKE UP WITH HER. YOU KNOW HOW SHE FELT(probably) WHY DID YOU AGREE.

I can't stand the way everyone's getting upset with EJ for working. they are literally at a party and he has no choice but to perfect the musical. like, ???

"yes, sir" I do not understand.

brother stop gawking at the man's girlfriend please.

Richard I like you too but if you don't stop rn I will give a standing ovation when EJ drop kicks you out the window.

this MadMad scene is nice and all but I can't say anything funny about it, nor do I have enough history of their trauma to talk about it so: they're sweet. I love them now. the end.

OMG AWW Carlos and Ashlyn needs to be a friendship we see more though

wait wait wait is EJ gonna bring seb? cuz....I would very much like that...

I like seeing EJ be meaningful and considerate, which feels weird to say.

NVM SEB'S HERE IDK HOW BUT YES

DUDE A SECOND SEBLOS KISS

SEB SBE SBEBSHAKA

HE DRESSED LIKE HE'S IN HIS 70'S I LOVE SEB I MISSED SEB

EJ babe you're hurting me

but also they did have less than 2 weeks to learn the lines so

Maddox telling her whole life story one stage is such a Disney movie thing. I love it.

SEBLOS HAS A SONG YAY

THIS IS SO CUTE I love the sibling storyline surprisingly

Saylor is so pretty.

no but like I just realized, no one here knows Seb except for the wildcats, how weird is this for them to see a random 15 year old on your stage.

ftr, I'm not entirely against Rina objectively. I just HATE how they're trying to make it happen.

EJ's trying, so hard. like I'm sure I can see grey hairs showing up on his head because of all this stress he's under.

aw he even wants to play a song so they can have their dance

since when is a summer 14 days long ?🤔🤔🤔

this thing Gina keeps going back to, "were having different summers"... I have something to say but I'll make a separate post for that. maybe. depends on how badly I want to be ripped into by fans ig.

the way they all use metaphors and weird wording for break ups in shows has always been funny for me. is is just me or does literally no one say "solo" in normal speech...

NO I ABSOLUTELY HATE HOW HE JUST ACCEPTED THAT WITH A NOD AND A SMILE BRO WHO HURT YOU

Cash Caswell

Unnamed mother Caswell

Unrealistic societal expectations due to his family

Nini Salazar-Roberts

Richard Bowen

His own mentality which has been programmed to believe he has to be more than he is to matter

right, nevermind.

AW I LOVE SEB HIS TIMING IS SO AMAZING AND HE'S JUST IN SHOCK OVER EJ'S NAME WHY DO I ALWAYS USE CAPS WHEN TALKING ABOUT SEB? HE DOES SOMETHING TO ME I SWEAR

not Richard Bowen telling a stranger about his own show, High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, now streaming on Disney plus 🤨🤨🤨

why did Gina walk in between the people's conversation? legit just step around them

her crying makes my heart hurt.

AH THERE'S KOURTNEY FINALLY

I'm actually crying. this scene with all the girls is probably the best one all season. there's depth, emotions, love, an amazing song, Maddox fitting in with them and just the most beautiful and interesting storylines and characters coming together.

Dara Renée deserves an award for this.

THE BOYS OMG THIS IS SO MUCH MY TEAR DUCTS ARE IN OVERDRIVE

someone added that guys water scene self indulgently I think

"I was born to be brave" the callbackkkk

"Bro" coupled with the high note can we actually not do this to me? you know how I feel about the "bro" since last season

the timing of Ashlyn walking by when Maddox and EJ are talking, man I love this show.

How did Val find that out though.

anyways the finale will be fun...

[sepublic]

Meta Marcy Wu

           Marcy really does have that energy of like. Someone who doesn’t have a whole lot of ‘opinions’ on bigger matters (such as the conflict between Toads and Newts, Sasha and Anne, Maddie and her sisters, etc.) so she just sort of. Awkwardly waits and sits off to the side, kind of biding her moment for when it’s finally over. Letting others take charge so long as she gets her own little space to function in. She’s not against or for anyone in particular, she just needs people to decide for themselves who she should follow, Marcy prefers to be a follower and ONLY that- Her debut has her asserting her own control for herself, but she doesn’t seem to care much else about others, I’m afraid.

           Contrast that with Anne, who needs her own control- BUT she also has the Heart, so she cares about others, she’s proactive and has agency despite initially being told to be reactive and not stand up for herself. Even if she can’t stand up for herself, she will stand up for others… And I think she was lowkey influenced by Sasha’s obsessive desire to protect the girls, and that played into Anne being a little bit toxic, but ultimately learning and having that inner fire to take a stance on things based on moral reasons, whereas Sasha seems more concerned for power than the actual social plight of the Toads- So even if Anne isn’t with the rebellion, it’s ultimately something she WOULD fully dedicate herself towards, like when we saw her stand up for the Frogs against Bog and the other Toads.

           And like, I have to wonder if Marcy’s more hands-off, simple follower approach is lowkey what contributed to Sasha’s belief in controlling others, because it validated that- But at the same time, we talk about how Sasha might care more for Anne than Marcy, and we see how Sasha is frustrated by Toadie, who is but an echo chamber for her. So maybe while Marcy is convenient to her, she’s just a bit too passive and thus not as ‘fun’ as a friend as Anne, who is also a concern because she has genuine motive to question Sasha not just on the basis of their friendship, but people OUTSIDE of it, which Marcy doesn’t.

           Anne being fiercely loyal and protective and sticking up for others, it also could’ve fed back into Sasha’s own tendencies as well. And of course these more proactive, in-your-face girls, always on the frontlines, are going to clash, while Marcy the forgotten follower, the wall-flower, the one in the background focused on more ‘nerdy’ things that are less glamorous, like logistics and whatnot… SHE’s the lynchpin that actually tips the scales- Because she’s the third girl who ‘sides’ with Anne between the initial conflict from Season 1. She’s the one with Andrias, flipping things up when Anne and Sasha are going to fight, contributing to that prophesized endgame.

           Marcy is the one, ironically, with the power –albeit as an extension of Andrias really- and so she’s the antagonist who’s clashing with Sasha, who is also power-hungry, but really beginning to learn as well. Marcy is caught up in her own little fantasy land and world, both literally and figuratively, happily enjoying and watching as a witness and bystander, almost detached in a sense to really participate and appreciate it as a very real thing… And being separate and an ‘audience’ member, Marcy is of course forgotten by Sasha and Anne, who play the part of characters; Fitting, because in that one flashback, they were Captain Hook and Peter Pan, while Marcy worked back-stage, literally pulling the strings (well, rope) for Anne!

           It’s Marcy who’s obsessed and fascinated with the meta of fandom and fiction, so of course she’s the one who steps back and observes it like media, takes the time to comment on it as if it were all tropes, watching and enjoying while for Sasha and Anne they participate directly without that kind of detached meta awareness, the kind someone like Andrias would have, because for THEM it’s real, there are stakes, power for Sasha and people for Anne! And Marcy is the backstage audience, fourth-wall crewmember, unnoticed by all who forget and ignore her, and she’s used to it. Maybe Marcy even enjoys and prefers it that way, and/or learned to- And it’s too late to pay attention, to see themselves as characters in that wider play and story and plot, unlike Andrias who notices and takes advantage… And may have been writing since who knows HOW early?

           If I could get into meta, Marcy playing that quiet, unnoticed support role, doing whatever’s convenient- It reminds me of how the visual basis for your typical Ninja in black garb… It came from plays where performers in black garb would maneuver props, and the audience was supposed to intentionally ignore them, see them as separate from the actual story; But every now and then, one play might have a ‘twist’ where that background actor actually IS a character, and assassinates someone to reveal themselves as the hidden Ninja!

          So maybe Marcy is like that… The background crewmember, not calling attention to herself in the acting role- In plain sight but we figure we’re meant to ignore, and so we’re utterly blindsided when she DOES strike! It’s Marcy who appreciates the little technical know-how and details, valuing the role that Frogs and agriculture play, considering Newtopian infrastructure, working back-stage in a Peter Pan play… Appreciating the writing conventions and tropes of her favorite games and fantasies, and so that in a way enables her to ‘game’ the system in a sense, play into it with her own hands, or even set up that game and story in the first place, because she knows how to make one!

          She is the drummer while Anne and Sasha play guitar and sing, not as glamorous or recognized amongst a crowd, but just as vital as the rest… She’s a very META kind of person, befitting her choice of METAmorphosis as part of her drummer costume! You don’t pay mind to a caterpillar, but then little do you know, it becomes an even more unnoticeable cocoon… Only to sprout into a brilliant butterfly! But while the BLUE butterfly is associated with Anne and her connections back home through Pearl Paddock, who is representative of familial bond, remembering who you are… Marcy is disconnected, she’s a GREEN butterfly, green like the lilypads of Amphibia, and she wants to stay there!

          And the best part, I think? I don’t think Marcy herself is even fully aware of what she’s doing… I doubt she sees herself as some clever manipulator. She’s just doing what she can, having her fun plans and machinations like in New Wartwood, but she’s not ACTUALLY approaching this as some devious mastermind- She’s literally just a kid! She gets caught up in her own things, because she is an autistic mood, and I get that! I resonate with that! And so it’s so easy for Marcy to be blindsided by HERSELF, by her own flaws and borderline antagonistic role in the story, to realize what she’s doing is kind of messed up and trivializing- Because we know that she WANTS to care, but it’s so easy and convenient for her to forget and play into the fantasy… Especially with someone like Sasha, and especially Andrias, to enable her, to provide that safety and support net that MARCY doesn’t complain about or take for granted, unlike that ‘ungrateful’ Anne, as Sasha might’ve one said!

           And if Marcy isn’t really self-aware of her own issues or even the full messed-up scope of her actions, to take a look back and critically examine herself the way she might a character or even her own friends; Then that can also make her a victim to her own antics, just as Sasha kept burying herself into a deeper hole. And it’s hard to do the right thing, if you don’t even realize you’re messing up in the first place- Recognizing your fault is kind of one of THE foundations of actual reform, growth, and redemption. I think Marcy needs guidance, and she needs to show more initiative and take a stance not just for herself, but regarding others as well… And that can lead to her choosing between Anne and Andrias.

           Andrias, whose name is like Anne’s but more fantastical, who is blue like Anne’s motif… And who looks after her like a good friend, makes things easier and promises they will be! And he’s invested into the fantasy, he doesn’t want to go home and complicate things, get into fights with Sasha, because it’s the person in charge who decides how it is, right? Which is why True Colors continues to concern me… Amidst, you know, the many OTHER issues as well.

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

Uppast's Cats Tour Comments: Act 1

note: i'm referring to the cats by their show names, however I may use the actor's name for a specific comment!

Overture

They did this SO well! I definitely missed seeing the cast in the aisles, but they projected the green eyes onto the stage, and it was the perfect amount of creepy/weird/hypnotizing.

I absolutely love the lights slowly being raised while shining all the spotlights, it sets the vibe PERFECTLY

also saying this now: the orchestra was incredible!

Prologue: Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats

right off the bat, we’ve a super sweet Demestrap moment, with Munkustrap checking on Demeter after the car! It was adorable!

Devon's voice is SO good for Munkustrap, also the man is TALL OH MY GOD

Tugger didn't get his "can you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark" line, which I was a little disappointed about. However, Zach as Bill Bailey is absolutely 10/10.

Brianna… the babiest Sillabub… so precious... so small...

There were some Victor and Gus moments, with them either standing near each other or sharing looks/touches, so if anyone ships them, y'all got your rarepair moment!

THE BOOT WAS SO LOUD LMAO

They use the set so well!

The Naming of Cats

creepy, wonderful, everything I want from this number

A handful of the cats got right to the edge of the stage where the lighting was, so they were all glowing, and it was the BEST vibe.

Taylor was staring into my soul during the last verse so now I can say I've been vibe-checked by Coricopat.

Invitation to the Jellicle Ball

Hyla is the PERFECT Victoria!!!!! She's so incredibly graceful, she had the sweetest expression on her face, and ugh it was flawless.

Paul is also just an amazing Mistoffelees.

Munkustrap had literally the sweetest moment with Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer and I almost started crying. Right before Jennyanydots' song, when everyone's getting into place, Mungo and Rumple immediately went to Munkustrap and were cuddling his legs, and he gave them pets, and just oh my god T_T

Gumbie Cat

OKAY SO I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE KITTEN SQUAD SO MUCH MY HEART

When everyone's setting up for Jennyanydots' song, after the nuzzles, the lights start to switch, and the kitten squad was trying to catch the lights on the ground while Munkustrap was looking at them with the fondest expression and i swear i cried a little bit over how cute they were.

SKIMBLE LOVES HIS WIFE SO MUCH AND WAS HELPING HER GET THE KITTENS INTO THEIR MICE COSTUMES

Plato, Alonzo, and Mungojerrie were great cockroaches, 10/10

The Gumbie Trio was so good! Their voices sounded amazing together, and they were all just having so much fun!

SO MUCH MAMA JELLY AND SON TUMBLE I FEEL SO HAPPY

I'm going to go more in-depth in my Kitten Squad post!

Rum Tum Tugger

The way Zach said "Who will it be?" was absolutely amazing, i loved it, 10/10 character introduction.

Jennyanydots stomped off when he interrupted her accolades, she was very upset.

Zach and Devon nailed Tugger and Munkustrap's sibling dynamic PERFECTLY, Devon was the best Tired Older Brother Munkus.

Yeah, this number pretty much confirmed Zach as my favorite Tugger.

Mistoffelees and Cassandra did some lounging together in the background on the car.

Chelsea's Bomba is absolutely *chef's kiss*, I adore her

Obviously Tugger and Mistoffelees did their little dance, and it was wonderful. I'm not sure if other shows had Mistoffelees do this, but he went between Tugger's legs at the end of his little solo and Tugger was just vibing.

MY FAVORITE MOMENT THOUGH had to be near the end of the song, Munkustrap was 100% getting into it, and Tugger went over to him and was teasing him, poking him, and it was the cutest brother interaction.

They did have the camera! Zach did some very Tugger poses, and it was great.

Grizabella the Glamour Cat

haha Tugger went to hide behind the metal bars on the furthest side of the stage away from Grizabella, I'm in ✨pain✨

Sillabub goes to touch Grizabella, Grandpa Skimble pulls her back and starts scolding her, I want to hug the baby.

No, but I did really love that moment. It's off to the side, but you can see him giving her a talking to, and she's trying to say something back, but he's very firm.

Mungojerrie egged George on to scratch Grizabella, George sweetie don't be mean.

Taylor has such a perfect voice for Grizabella, and I loved her look!

OKAY SO LAUREN AND CHELSEA'S VOICES

Lauren's voice is so smooth and suave, and Chelsea's voice has a little growl that almost made me pass out, like ma'am i'm in love? But their voices mixed together, as well as how slightly different they are was such a great choice, and I kind of hope that other future productions take note and have two actresses with vastly different vocals for Demeter and Bombalurina.

Bustopher Jones

Mistoffelees and Victoria go to great Bustopher together and it was the cutest thing, they were so excited to see him!

Munkustrap immediately grabbing Mungo and Rumple by the necks and steering the gremlins away from the Very Important Cat.

Tugger was keeping watch so Munkustrap could be silly with everyone else during Bustopher's number, and that's not something I'm forgetting. Usually, obviously, Munkustrap's sort of in the background, standing, watching, and not really interacting. But Tugger switched places, and was up on the scaffolding watching, and it was CUTE!

My Tuggandra crumbs, thank you Zach and Lexy, I'm indebted to you both.

Tugger literally was just lounging on the car during the end of Bustopher's song, just waving his arms around, and I love him.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

Elana (Teazer for this show) had the PERFECT Rumple giggle!

They're so silly, I love them

They made the best facial expressions, especially when Mungo "stole" Rumple's pearls.

Very dramatic gremlin twins, jumping all over the place, not caring about anything!

They were so confident at the end of their song when they went to walk off, and immediately went into "oh shit" mode when Munkus, Plato, and Alonzo came out.

Run through the legs of Munkus! See Munkus, this is why you need to not stand with your legs apart when you're attempting to control kittens.

Old Deuteronomy

Saying it again, Devon and Zach are SUCH a good Munkustrap and Tugger.

The babies were so excited to see Old Deut! They could barely contain themselves, and then got cuddles! (Also Tanto was with the kittens and i love that for her, let her be a kitten!! I definitely got "big brother Cori/little sister Tanto" vibes)

Everyone's getting Deut nuzzles!!

Tugger did a VERY dramatic shimmy at his dad, and Deut laughed, and I cried.

Tugger and Munkustrap standing on either side of their dad!!!! He's so proud of them!!

Jellicle Ball

Sillabub was hiding on top of the oven before the Ball, sweet baby T_T

George got to sing with Old Deut!! Happy boy!!

TUMBLE FLIPS TUMBLE FLIPS TUMBLE FLIPS

Jennyanydots and Skimbleshanks being the Supervisors!!

There was a really sweet Jellylorum and Alonzo moment (def going to talk more about it in the Alonzo post), but my "Jellylorum is Alonzo, Tumble, and Pounce's Mom" hc is feeling SO VALIDATED TONIGHT

I've said this so many times, but I adore that Plato and Victoria get their own little solo before their Big Solo. It's so sweet, and Hyla and Adam have wonderful chemistry!

Tugger chases Bomba offstage before The Moment, and I love that for them

CUDDLE PILE!!!

Munkustrap and Demeter cuddled together in the corner away from the pile and I want to sob because they were just so sweet, her head was on his shoulder, and he was holding her, and literally everyone in this show has such good chemistry with each other.

Tugger looks up with the psychic twins during Grizabella's reveal, once again making me think that Tugger and Munkustrap have magic like their brother.

OH AND TUGGER DID THE STUPIDEST LITTLE DANCE WHERE HE WAS SHAKING HIS BUTT AND HAVING FUN AND MUNGOJERRIE LAUGHED AT HIM AND THEY HAD A MOMENT AND IT WAS GREAT

Memory

ouch ouch ouch

Jennyanydots blocks the stairs up to Deut's tire so Grizabella can't go to Deut, my heart

steering the babies away from Grizabella even though Silla wants to give her a hug.

Taylor you hurt me in the best way possible

I always get emotional over Grizabella's dance before her song, it's such a telling moment, but unfortunately I don't think everyone understands that it's supposed to be a serious moment and not funny.

Deut sits on his tire the entire song and it's HEARTBREAKING

At the very end, Grizabella does the reaching back, and Deut reaches forward, and if you're sitting in the right spot it looks like they're touching and i'm NOT OKAY

[junicai]

Relationship with SuperM

➣ BAEKHYUN ☾ baekaria

before being thrown into a supergroup together, aria and baekhyun hadn’t really spoken 

they’d seen each other around the building, and aria was an avid supporter of exo so of course she knew who he was but she wasn’t expecting him to know who she was 

so when aria walked into the practice room and was greeted by baekhyun waving her over and calling her name

sue her if she was a little stunned 

their relationship was a little stilted at the beginning

between the age gap, and baekhyun not having a girl member in a group before, it took a few weeks for the two of them to figure out their dynamic and where they fit around each other 

eventually though

they settled into a pretty comfortable situation

baekhyun tries to put her at ease as much as possible 

there is 8 years in the difference, but you’d swear that its less than half 

although he’s playful and generous with the teasing like he is to other members 

he’s careful to avoid certain topics when it comes to aria, just out of respect for her and not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable

this came to fruition after kai unknowingly made a small comment on how aria “must have been hungry”, considering how fast she was eating

baekhyun knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but he watched aria slowly put down her chopsticks and reach for the bottle of water beside her instead

he didn’t see her eat for the rest of the evening

did kai get in trouble? no but he did get hit lightly over the head

when aria does something cool - like a spin or a trick - baekhyun is the first to say “that’s my child. i raised her, look how well i taught her” 

ten: “heY-”

tldr: although they’re not the closest, aria’s slowly grown more comfortable around him, and he’s looking out for her all the time 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

200829 Knowing Brothers: when baekhyun brought up the members of superm all showering together to get closer quickly, heechul quickly pounced on aria - the girl slowly moving to put her head in her hands. 

“and where was aria during all of this? don’t tell me you brought her to?”

baekhyun: “well of course we did-” 

aria: “NO I STAYED OUTSIDE HE’S A LIAR DON’T LISTEN TO HIM!”

*cue baekhyun laughing his ass off*

➣ TAEMIN ☾ arimin

aria thought she was going to die

there was absolutely no plausible reason that she should be in a group with The Taemin

he was highkey the reason why she had even accepted her position in sm at the very beginning of her training

this man convinced a fifteen year old to give up the sport she’d been doing her entire life 

his impact  (*¯ ³¯*)♡

please stand by while aria tosses herself off a bridge

she was So Formal at the beginning

he honestly was the member she took the longest time to warm up to - because she had idolized him for so long

will still refer to him as taemin-ssi occasionally, but now its less a formality and more of a tease

this boy was shook when he found out how young aria was - mark and lucas he can deal with because at least they’re 1999, but aria....

“2000??? 2000?” 

he said :O

despite their rocky start, they’re quite comfortable around each other, especially after spending a few nights rooming together over the tour

does aria still look for his validation in a lot of her work? yes, but she’s more open about asking for it now then she would have been 

taemin definitely doesn’t have a favourite kid and it’s definitely not aria no why would you think that

aria really out here collecting parents like pokémon 

gotta catch em all~

he looks out for her a lot during their schedules, mainly because he knows what its like to be the youngest in a group and how it can feel a little like you don’t really have a place there

so he always makes sure to include her where possible 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

sitting in a circle in a waiting room while mark toy-ed around with the guitar in his lap, aria sat curled in the corner, humming lightly to herself as taemin sang softly along with mark playing “view”.

quietly, she began to sing soft backing harmonies along with taemin, her eyes still attached to her phone in her hands.

when she felt the device being tugged out of her hands and her being pulled upright by another hand on her arm, she looked up to see taemin smiling brightly, still singing 

cue the impromptu concert of a lifetime: with god tier vocals

➣ KAI ☾ kairia

so, they met

and kai just kinda went: mine.

and that was that really 

its like a puppy refusing to give up its favourite chew toy 

“nooo but its my turn to room with aria :(”

never really did the whole awkward, getting to know each other phase? 

not that aria had any real say in it

but jongin point blank refused to engage in small talk with her

so they ended up spending their nights on the superm tour talking about stuff ranging from why the sky is blue to why aria stopped ice skating

she started crying and he did not handle it well, bless him

although he’s super chill and fun to be around

he’s also the only non-nct member that seriously scolds her 

when he found her in a practice room lying on the ground (she was Resting, thank you very much) at three in the morning, he dragged her out without a word and brought her back to her dorms in silence 

aria knew he was mad at her, but she thought it was because he had to borderline carry her four blocks down to the nct dorms 

“no you idiot, im angry because you thought that instead of coming to one of us for help with the bits you’re struggling with, you figured hey. let’s pass out instead.” 

he’s so affectionate with her

you know how lucas and kai have Intense Brothers Energy

well aria has that, little sister vibe that makes kai want to wrap her in a blanket and carry her everywhere

she’d hate that, if he tried that she’d scream (he did try that, this is coming from past experience)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

kai chucking aria like a cannon ball into the pool during the filming of mtopia when she refused his hugs.

“oppa, oppa no im sorry ill give you all the hugs you want, oppa, JONGIN-OPPA NO NO NO NO -”

*sploosh*

➣ TAEYONG ☾ ariyong

taeyong took one look at aria the first time she showed up for group practice and immediately adopted her (not literally but he would if he could)

eomma meets highly protective brother meets life coach type beat?

so so soft for her its sickening 

says he doesn’t have favourites and will then spend an hour cooking for aria because she’s been in the studio the whole day and he knows she hasn’t eaten yet

when aria was given a duet to do for the sm stages, she had to pick another member to do it with and her first choice was taeyong 

she always has said that taeyong is one of the pillars keeping her upright and sane - without him she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to complete her training 

because of all the schedules they share together, if aria isn’t rooming with mark then she’s definitely rooming with taeyong

whenever she does his makeup (more often than you’d think) she point blank refuses to cover his scar, even when he asks her to do so

“please? i don’t like it.” “*gasp* how dare you.”

sleepy aria! snuggling into taeyong’s shoulder when a schedule ran late!

he gets uncomfy when the stylists put her in too revealing clothes, and has spoken to them on numerous occasions about dressing her in age-appropriate attire, no matter how “sexy” the concept might be

he keeps little bags of sugar-dusted strawberry sweets in his bag incase she forgets to eat and feels faint after the last time (they used to be blueberry flavoured but he heard donghyuck throwing out any and all “blueberry-contaminated” food one evening)

taeyong doesn’t tolerate hate towards aria, especially in person, so he always makes sure to sit down the line from her so that he can see when people skip her intentionally 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

taeyong had just been awarded the single bedroom on the last night of the mtopia series, and was staring off into the corner looking rather uncomfortable. aria, who was meant to be rooming with baekhyun, looked over and saw his mouth curled downwards slightly. 

“baekhyun-oppa, is it ok if i room with taeyongie-oppa tonight? i ran out of my tablets, and he has some in his bag..”

baekhyun looked down at her with a small smile and agreed, while the edited captions on the video appeared with the words, “a cute maknae asking to room with a younger member..”

➣ TEN ☾ tenaria

Whipped™

so so gone for her its upsetting actually

yangyang and aria share the position of his baby

except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop

ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria

he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby  ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right…(눈_눈)”

such an enabler for her bad ideas

aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream

pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day

when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket

its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost

he just wants to hold her hand

yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault

ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby

“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ”

if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor

hugs n kithes all around

only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing

anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby

sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her.

➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei

besties

please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(

bear hugs

he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up

complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball

someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll

singular braincell energy

don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart

so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it

she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour

so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day

lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back

nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria”

and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her

lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys

he’s so proud of her

and she’s so proud of him

they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together

sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit. 

“luc-LUCAS?”

“you had to move :)”

➣ MARK ☾ mari

½ of the best friend crew

honestly at the beginning, mark and aria weren’t very close, having only really seen each other in passing or with johnny

but after being dropped into training together the two quickly became fast friends, and now they’re borderline inseparable

you thought you knew pain? watch aria’s reaction to mark’s graduation from dream :)

mark’s the reason why aria felt confident enough to pitch some of her lyric ideas to the team, after staying up until 4am to help her make some edits so she was as confident as possible

kinda just, rests his head on her shoulder? and wraps his arms around her waist when he’s tired

mari being confused in foreigner: ???

aria said once in a vlive that she finds mark really comforting to be around - when she feels stressed or worried about something she’ll go to mark’s room and just sit on his bed for a while

aria is so close with his parents - “ahh, how’s my favourite child” “i’m doing great mom.” “no not you, how’s aria?” “wh-hu-MOM?”

you’d swear sometimes mark is younger than her, considering the pout he puts on and how much he whines when they’re not on the same team together for promotions

mark big protecc boi but also little small cuddly boi

they’re so soft for each other ( ╥ω╥ )

in one of the fancams for mark’s solo stage during superm, someone zoomed into aria singing along with him in the wings and dancing to herself with the Proudest Smile™

he’s! so! proud! of! her! constantly! she could be walking and he’d be like “omg get it”

when aria refuses to get up and make herself food (this happens way too often, she just gets into the groove of her work and doesn’t want to move) mark gets her to by threatening to do it himself

consistently caught by czennies just standing behind her and holding her hand in crowded areas - airports, waiting rooms, etc.

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

mark and aria were standing off to one side as the mc explained the rules of the game they were about to be playing. mark looked totally confused, and elbowed aria in her side before looking down and mouthing “what?” to her. aria opened her mouth, before closing it and looking down at the ground, muttering to herself, “결합… 結合….. le chéile…. le… le.. oh oh - combined! we have to put them together, markie.”

and thus, a new confusion meme was born