#chowderclef

[doodleswithpaint]

oh my god. Chowderclef is real. He got chowderclef’d.

BTW don’t make shitty AIs like this. Write fanfic like a normal person

[cant-draw-anythin-right]

chowderclef is just an excuse to draw Japanese anime mary sue clef and babygirl bottom gears and roses (my hand is aching from drawing the roses)

[thedeskofaltoclef]

Witty Once Human title. Might talk about some upcoming Clef Projects https://twitch.tv/thedeskscp

[pixie-stikk]

i've been slowly introducing my friends to the scp wikki with the slice of life tales (i.e. the bottledick texts, clef eats ass: the musical, chowderclef, date night and routine psychological evaluations by dr glass.) so now they think that the scp tales are all just silly goofy stories. i have now sent them to read portraits of a father

now we wait

[lol-foundation]

LOLFOUNDATION ASK BLOG

The hub to the lolfoundation can be found here.

This blog is ran by Gordon (#gording) and Al (#albie).

A quick shout-out to other lolfoundation-esque ask blogs that have retired; trashfoundation, lolfoundationsuggestions.

What is this ask blog about?

Asking SCP personnel from the lolfoundation canon, mostly just for shits and giggles. :)

(Featuring pictures this time!)

Which characters can I ask?

We can’t name them all but here’s some off the top of our head;

Dr. Clef, Dr. Bright, Dr. Shaw, Dr. Kondraki, Dr. King, Dr. Glass, Dr. Iceberg, and all mini-versions of previously mentioned characters.

This is cringe.

Then maybe it isn’t for you, let people have fun. <3

Important Information

Any asks that are directed towards an scp/personnel not mentioned in lolfoundation articles will not be answered.

Exceptions; SCP-5555-j instances, Chowderclef, Dr. Glass, and Dr. Iceberg.

This blog uses both Dr. Bright and Dr. Shaw as separate characters due to how there are tales featuring Shaw and tales featuring Bright.

Asks featuring OCs are welcome! Just remember that we won’t always draw them, especially if we don’t know what they look like.

If you think the characters are acting OOC (out of character), no worries, it’s meant to be like that. :)

Any asks purely meant to discriminate will not be answered.. unless it’s so stupid that it’s funny; everyone will laugh at you.

It’s okay to give suggestive, sensitive, or violent asks, as long as it’s not directed towards any real people.

In relation to the above info—asks involving authors or scpblr users will not be answered unless towards the owners of the account.

No ‘ships’ or romantic pairings are considered canon in this blog. They might be mentioned, they might be implied, but they are in no way, shape, or form deemed canon.

Note; You can totally give asks about them, though!

Have Any Questions?

Feel free to message the blog or send an ask.

[aronaax]

Halllooooo…. I went thru ur blog and suddenly the spark of passion for scp as a silly teenage girl on the internet has be reignited … can u give me some scp tales u wanna recommend 2 me? Maybe more doctors or dr clef whatever u want lols 😜😜😜😜

OMG cassketti haii i luv your art… 👋👋 i followed u on instagram last year ur one of my inspirations…

personally my fav tales are (and most of them have clef): yesterday, hawaiian shirts, chowderclef, clef and dmitri hit the road (these r a bit stupid but they’re funny ngl), portraits of your father (that made me sob so hard), incident 239-b, there’s this one with scp 4166 and 166 i think it’s called incident-4166 ? that one made me sob also

you can also read scp 4231 if you know more about clef and 166 but big SA + abuse warning, it’s really heavy . there’s also the scp 8166 canon/eventyr hub and they have a lot about 166 x 105 as well as other characters it’s really cool

i actually haven’t read it yet but scp 3999 seems interesting if you want to know about researcher talloran. there’s also in his own image which briefly talks about iceberg and gears

also if you wanna laugh go read scp 666-j it’s about dr gerald just fuckin. destroying every vehicle in existence 😭 and the chibinator scp that’s rly funny and dumb

ermmm i’m sure there’s wayyy more i’m missing but these r just the ones i like/know . thank u for askin :D i salute you on your journey through the scp universe 🫡

[handsome-john]

soup for hangovers

this is also something I did not feel like putting on my ao3 but i think its funny enough to collect dust here. vague clefdraki/system clef writing 1000-ish words

-

Kondraki opens his eyes and immediately closes them, half blinded by the glow of the TV. Batman Beyond ended half an hour ago so it’s just been looping the first few seconds of music the DVD menu plays. He swears if he hears that music again he’s actually going to lose it this time. 

He’s laying on his side, sinking into the couch cushions, the arm rest digging into his shoulder. On the other end of the couch is Clef, slumped backwards, his straw hat covering his face, snoring like a lawn mower. He has a dirt brown blanket draped across his lap. With Kondraki’s legs splayed across the couch, he’s in the perfect position to kick Clef off.

“Alto,” Kondraki grunts, kicking him in the stomach. “Hey Clef!” The second kick is enough to knock Kondraki off his precarious balance, sending him tumbling into the floor. The force is enough to rock the house, knocking over the pile of half empty glasses from last night's binge. 

“Huh?” Clef shoots upright, his hat falling into his lap. The fabric pattern on Kondraki’s couch is imprinted into his cheek. 

“I fell…” Kondraki whines, voice muffled by the foreboards. “Ugh… can you help me up? Clef? Cleffy? Cleffles?” He holds up his hand, blindly waving it in the hair. 

“Clef…?” Clef says, voice strange, a drunk man’s impersonation of an American accent. Slowly, he sits up straight, eyes growing wide. “I’m afraid you have me all wrong, my good man, for I am-!” he whips Kondraki blanket around his shoulders like a cape, “The Great and Powerful Chowderclef, Defender of the Night!”

“Well would the great and whatever you said Chowderclef like to help me up.” Kondraki inhales deeply, sucking in the floor dust and dissolving into a coughing fit. “Guh- fuck- ack-!”

“I shall!” Chowderclef says, springing forward fast enough to slam his knees into the coffee table. “For I am helper to all good men!” In one graceless bound, he steps over Kondraki’s prone body and takes his hand. “Rise my friend!” 

“Ugh, what the fuck?” Kondraki steps up, every joint in his legs cracking all at once. He blinks the dust out of his eyes and squints, his nose scrunched. “Isn’t chowder like… like the little purple bitch?”

“We s- wh- what?” 

“The little purple bitch,” Kondraki repeats. 

Chowderclef stares at him, not a single thought behind his glassy eyes. 

“Come on, work with me here.”

“No time for your ramblings! There are succulent soups to precue!” Chowderclef bounds towards the kitchen. In his mind he performs a great leap, sliding over the island, across the countertop, and into the kitchen. Unfortunately he is twenty years too old and two hundred pounds too heavy, so from Kondraki’s perspective he just crawls over the counters while wearing one of his blankets like a cape. 

“Are you fucking deaf or something? Stop shouting!” If this is one of Clef’s bits, then it’s certainly at least mildly more entertaining than his usual ones. “Man, I have a headache.” He’s at least conscious enough to turn off the TV before following Chowderclef. 

“Fear not! For with my skills and your resources, I will produce the perfect cure for all that ails you!” Chowderclef says, pointing a finger towards the sky. Kondraki stares at the ceiling, as if expecting to actually see anything. A single stink bug crawls across the wall. 

“If you wanted food you could’ve just said so. Let me see.” He approaches and opens his cabinets. “I’ve got cream of mushroom… some of that fancy ramen… whatever… this is?” He turns around, cream of mushroom in one hand and unlabelled mystery soup in the other, to see Chowderclef wearing a white chef’s hat. “I don’t have a hat like that. Did you bring that here?”

“A good hero always comes prepared for every situation!” Chowderclef’s eyes lock onto the unlabelled can. “Is that-? Yes of course! I would recognize that anywhere! My one weakness!” He snatches the can up and peels off the lip, revealing it to canned clam chowder. 

“Of wow that's…” Kondraki gags, pinching his nose. “Oh boy, that’s a smell. Can can food go bad? Can can- can canned? Can canned food-” 

Chowderclef slams a pot onto the stovetop. Kondraki blinks, having the strangest uncanny feeling that it’s not one of his pots. The soup wriggles out of the can in one vaguely gelatinous blob. There’s a dungeons and dragons joke Kondraki isn’t sober enough to make. 

“So are you like a superhero right now?” Kondraki asks, still holding his nose. 

“I am a Super Hero!” Chowderclef says, pronouncing it as two distinct words. He runs the can under the sink and adds the water to the soup. “Chowderclef! De-fend-er of the nigh-!”

“Holy shit you are loud! I’m gonna kick your ass if you keep yelling at me!” 

Chowderclef’s oddly jovial grin twists into a tight scowl, far more characteristic of the face he’s wearing. With the blanket draped over his arm, he holds it up to cover half his face. “You dare to challenge me in my own domain?” 

“This is my house. I’m allowed to kick your ass in my own home.”

“You are lucky I am far too honorable to accost a man in his own abode. Or else I would gladly have at thee!” He jabs at Kondraki with a metallic ladle. Okay, now he’s really pulling some of this stuff out of his ass. 

Kondraki holds up his hands in defense. No need for a hangover and a head injury. “Okay, none of that. Just make your soup.” 

Chowderclef smiles. “I am so very glad we could come to an agreement!” 

After letting it come to a low simmer over the flame, the chowder starts to look a little more like something edible. Kondraki lays out two bowls on the counter and Chowderclef beams at him, a little too happy for Kondraki’s comfort. 

“Your service will never be forgotten, my friend!” He says, filling Kondraki’s bowl with his ladle. 

“Okay.”

“You may call on me in your hour of need!” 

“Okay.”

The couch is much more comfortable when it’s sat on correctly. Kondraki stares at the blank TV screen, sipping at the soup. Too salty, he thinks, how is a liquid too salty?

Chowderclef plops down next to him, humming as he eats. Kondraki blinks and in an instant the comedic white chef’s hat becomes Clef’s regular straw hat. Clef gags, spitting the soup back into the bowl. 

“What the fuck is this?” Clef growls, voice back to his usual faux-southern. 

“I dunno man, you’re the one who made it.” 

“Well it tastes like shit.” He drops the bowl on the table and slumps back into the couch, arms crossed over the chest. “Man, I have a headache.”

And neither of them ever brings this up again. 

[fictionkinfessions]

to the o5-13 I saw here a hot minute ago: https://www.tumblr.com/fictionkinfessions/752499532739330048/hello-everyone-o5-13-of-scp-foundation-fame-here?source=share

do you remember which council members it was? And who was it? (I would be very surprised to hear it was o5-2. if I hear it was o5-6 then Jack owes me, like $300 and a new hat)

- Dr Alto Clef, aka Fucking Satan, aka ukulele man, aka the smiling man, aka chowderclef, aka agent ukulele, aka That Bastard, aka F███████ W███████████, etc (mpc you do NOT have to tag all that btw. please just tag the first one. don't overwork yourself)

(#🦖🤠, tag as fictive please)

the rules page https://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/rules Ask Responses do not receive source, name or fictotype / fictive tags [eg marvelkin, mollyfictive, fictionkin, fictive, soulbond, etc] unless specifically requested for all encompassing blacklisting purposes.

[girldraki]

somebody please stop alto from continuing its current extended chowderclef bit before we end up with another facet on our hands

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Gotham's Strangest Criminal

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/WYeUGKy by Nykacolaquantum A dumb little crossover I wrote when I was 16, preserved on here because the SCP wiki's crossover content is being purged. Words: 848, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: SCP Foundation, Batman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Batman, Commissioner Gordon, Dr. Alto Clef, Chowderclef - Character Additional Tags: Crossover, I wrote this when I was 16; don't expect anything amazing, archive read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/WYeUGKy

[eldritch-muppetshow]

Dr Monarch once decides to visit the Starbucks Permafrost works in personally, trying to get him back (in his supervillain outfit ofc). But the second it clicks to the other staff he won't buy anything but just wants to harass them into "giving" him Permafrost, they all decide to beat him up (don't piss gay coffee-addicted teenagers off). After that, he decides to stick to good ol' calls

y’know what? this feels accurate enough that i’m gonna say it happened

[cant-draw-anythin-right]

My second try on chowderclef

[iyadiad]

This has been me the past hour I cant get Chowderclef out of my head

[finiffy]

Ukulele will forever be my #1 sexyman material for the polls but wow does Chowder need to win this just to beat up Clef and make him lose

Need a Chowder Sweep miracle

[camerapits]

Oh my god.

I forgot I drew this picture back in 2009.

It’s beautiful. @blaruu and @scp-l4-clef-alto-001, hail the return of ChowderClef in all his sketchy glory.

-Dr_Kens

[trashfoundation]

May I join the chipotle cult?

i guess? i’m pretty sure that’s something for them to decide.