#chris tester

[redbatchedcumbermayned]

It all started under a duvet held up by an oar

Not so long ago I emailed Chris Tester, the voice of Heinrix van Calox in Owlcat’s recently released CRPG Rogue Trader, and asked if he would like to sit for an interview with me. Having some experience in interviewing people I like, most famously Oscar winner and all-around sweetheart Eddie Redmayne, this was not a completely nerve-wracking endeavour. And within a day of sending my email, Chris said yes. And what a pleasure it was interviewing him: Chris was so generous with his time, that the agreed upon 30 minutes turned into 50 minutes as we brushed upon many topics from his start as a theatre actor to his first voice-over role in a video game to his recently discovered hobby of playing D&D. Of course, we also spoke about all things Warhammer 40k, his new found fame brought on by voicing Heinrix and the insights he could share about the character.

I will publish this interview in three parts over the next week in text form and with the accompanying audio file (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

Part 2 of the interview

Part 3 of the interview

Fran: Thank you very much for taking your time.

Chris Tester: That's no problem. No problem at all.

F: So then let's start. You graduated in 2008.

CT: I did. Yes.

F: You started out as a stage actor. Did you always want to become a stage actor or an actor in general? Tell us a bit about your career.

CT: I always wanted to be a stage actor. Yes, as soon as I knew that I wanted to be an actor, which probably wasn't until I was a teenager. But yeah, my first passion was always the stage, and that was kind of borne out in my career. I would have been open to TV and film of course, if it had come along, I'm a huge fan of TV and film as well, but I never got an audition for any TV or film work.

I think I literally did about three short films in my 10, 12 years of actually professionally acting, and it is one of those industries where the more you do of one thing, the more you seem to find yourself doing the same thing to a degree. So yes, watching Shakespeare from an early age was one of my first passions.

And that was what first planted the seed of wanting to do it myself. The whole aspect of live performance is still something that I'm very passionate about. Up until 2020, when the world changed, I was trying to do two or three theatre shows a year, but since 2020, I haven't been near a stage and I doubt right now, especially with the way that the UK theatre scene is going, that I'm going to be back on stage anytime soon. I am resigned to that, but at some point in my career, I know I will be on stage again, because I can't live without it, but only for the right thing, both financially, but more importantly, creatively.

F: Your production company is currently on hiatus?

CT: I was the producer of a theatre company, which was run and was the baby of the director of the company, a guy called Ross Armstrong, who's one of the most talented writers and directors that I've ever worked with. I was helping out with a lot of the administration stuff so that he could still put me in plays. Instead of creating my own work because I'm not a very good writer or the best writer in the world, I support those people who will write me good parts. So yes, it is currently on hiatus, but never say never, we would always be looking to get back. It's difficult right now. It's difficult for all of us, because arts council subsidy, that way of being able to fund stuff, is drying up. We were doing a national tour of the UK when we were doing that [with the support of a subsidy]. There's even less money, there's even more people. I won't bore you with anything more than that, but it's kind of tough. We'd like to come back, but in the right way, and that's tricky to negotiate.

F: It's always hard as a stage actor to earn a living.

CT: Well, I've been spoiled by voice-over as well, and whereas when I was in my 20s and 30s then you're all about your art. And of course, I'm still all about my art, but I'm also about my wife and my cat and the mortgage and the bills and wanting to have nicer things to a degree as well. I've come to terms with that and voice-over does facilitate that as well as it opens you up to different roles and working with different people. So, I can't complain.

F: It's quite similar with making a living as a writer, because with a steady income you get used to a certain standard of living and once you have obligations and bills to pay, I think the stress on your mental health being creative and having all the stresses of regular life thrust upon you brings with it a challenge.

CT: It's a cliche we can very easily fall into: if I'm suffering, then it means I'm an artist. And that's not necessarily very true. It very often means that the art that we create only reflects one aspect of our lives, and it's usually a very tortured one. I am also about having wider experiences and broadening myself out. Whereas I think when I was in my twenties, I was thinking a bit more like: Oh, I'll experience the world and life through my art and just purely through my art. Whereas now necessarily I need to have a life outside of it as well, and then I can justify like I have the life so that I can feed my art or not, whatever. You know, I'll be a better artist by having a bit of a life outside of it. Maybe.

F: But that's what your twenties are for.

CT: Yeah, indeed.

F: Doing the crazy stuff, doing the band stuff 

CT: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, there was certainly an aspect of that in my twenties.

F: So, what brought you to voice acting or voice-over work initially?

CT: Money. Video game stuff is kind of sexy and cool, and I'm a gamer, so that's important. Before I was a video gamer, I was a board gamer and off the back of that, I was a voracious video gamer, partly because I wasn't very good at team sports at school. I was always the person who was picked last in the football team. So that becomes part of your identity for better or worse. But video games, I was pretty good at, not amazing, but I was pretty good at, and I enjoyed it. And it gave me a different form of escapism as well, and off the back of that I always had an interest in them. 

So, the very first voiceover job was a video game: Dark Souls, which is quite a big franchise. At that time, I was your very typically jobbing actor. My acting agent came in and said: I got something for you. And so, I went in with that. But it was only in 2016, 2017 that I realised it was something that you could actually do yourself. People had recording studios at home and they were contacting people directly, not just going through agents. Because I'd basically written to the same 20 voice agents in the UK, mainly in London for like eight years in a row and not received anything. So, you keep knocking on those doors hoping. 

Before I'd even graduated from drama school, I'd burnt a CD and made these cases with my headshot on it and sent them all off at what at the time felt like great personal expense and didn't get anything for eight years in a row.  So, I was a bit like, I'm obviously doing something wrong, but I don't really know what, because I'm doing these workshops and getting good feedback. Then I found out through a couple of online courses, that there were ways and means of doing it myself, and that was a bit of a game changer for me, and within six months of having started, I was earning more through voice work than the bar job and the box office job that I was doing combined. Within six months, I was kind of like: “I gotta quit because I'm actually holding myself back from things.” So that was quite a big shift.

F: Somewhere you said, you started out under a duvet and with an oar.

CT: Yeah. On my website, I do have an image of it. [Dear reader, I could not locate this elusive photo] I literally had to take the duvet off my bed and put it into the living room, which was the quietest space in my then shared flat. I also had to wait until after one flat mate had watched TV and another one had used the table that had their washing on it. One of my flat mates had stolen an oar from some night out and that was perfect in order to be able to erect it over my head and the duvet as a frame. 

I did probably the first four or five months of voice recording like that. Probably about 10, 15 voiceover jobs that I actually got paid for, I was using that because it worked well enough. Since then, I've gone through various different iterations of a setup in the bedroom, to a setup in the hallway, to my current setup. In 2020 we moved to our first house, and this is the spare bedroom which I've had converted into a studio, which means my cat can be here asleep on me or near me getting fur everywhere, but it's fine. I can thrash around and I've got natural light to work in at the same time, which I find quite important. [Pictured below Chris' current setup.]

F: Very pretty. That's good. Guide us through a typical day of yours, if you like.

CT: Oh, sure. I mean, there is no typical day. And yet, and yet, and yet. A typical day for me is, because I am spending the vast majority of the day sitting in this room or somewhere close to this room, because I may need to record at short notice, because the vast majority of jobs are quite short notice. My priority is exercise for mental health more than anything. I've got some weights at the bottom of the garden, and I will get up first thing, and I will go there and I will do that after breakfast. And that's my minimal routine of physical activity done. 

And then I'll come back, and this is so rock and roll. Now what I do is, I spend like an hour on LinkedIn. And that's what you dreamed of as a creative person. Isn't it as an actor? I spend time on LinkedIn regularly every day, because it's a really good networking place for a lot of my types of work, and first thing in the morning, I'm a bit mentally sharper. So that's when I come up with a quick post that may be inspired by a bit of content that I've made elsewhere. That probably takes about 20 minutes and then I spend another 45 minutes to an hour engaging with people and saying hi and introducing myself and asking questions, whether that's with video producers or game developers or documentary makers or pretty much anything and everything. There are a lot of people who are active at that time. And so I do it.

And then after that, if I already have some recording lined up, then I'll prioritise mid-morning, because I've warmed up physically a bit more then, and I'm focused. So, you're going through the scripts, annotating the scripts, recording the scripts, editing the scripts. But then there could be live sessions at any time within that as well. I try to keep hours from nine till six. But occasionally, like with Rogue Trader, that was recorded at various different times of the day because we had people in New York, we had people in mainland Europe, and we had people in the UK. So all different time zones, so that can happen at any time. 

And then I try to do other kinds of bits and pieces of marketing whenever I've got free time to. I do use really exciting productivity hacks, like time blocking. Again, not something that as a creative individual, I was like: Oh God, this gets me so excited, because it doesn't, but it works. It's finding a system that works for you, but still has a certain kind of flexibility and fluidity. I'm trying to make sure that I get outside of the house, and that kind of stuff. 

Recently, over the last year, I’ve started doing audiobooks as well. That long form type of thing is quite nice to be able to dip into because sometimes you don't record for two, three days. You don't get the work. Nothing’s coming in. So, you’re marketing, but it kind of connects you back to the performance side of things to go: I can do a few chapters and you know, that kind of thing. So that's probably it. I try to formalise it, but you know, every voice actor’s day is radically different. There are people, some of the biggest names, going into different studios every week or every day. I very rarely, despite being based in London, I very rarely go into external studios. Like I would say 99 percent of the work I just do from home.

F: So how do you find the right voice for the specific type of voiceover work you do, maybe start with how did you find Heinrix's voice?

CT: Thankfully, Owlcat sent through quite a detailed casting breakdown. So, you get a picture, and that's pretty crucial, as well as a short bio, in terms of the background of the character, but not too much, because you have to sign an NDA, a non-disclosure agreement. But even if you do sign an NDA, I think developers are always slightly hesitant of giving you too much info about the game because things could still be changed. But I think I did get a picture of Heinrix, if not in the first audition, then certainly on the second one. From that you immediately think about the physicality and what might affect the voice, and there was also some direction in terms of what they were looking for. Anybody who has heard the character and me, they do not sound radically dissimilar. There's not a transformative process that I needed to go through, other than his sense of authority and the space that he takes up and the sureness that he has in that he has a kind of divine right from the emperor, so that level of confidence being brought through.

The other part of the audition was about the void ship [the Black Ship] that he'd been raised in and the horrors that he'd seen. And you as the actor have to do the detective work to go like this is showing another side, the more vulnerable side, the side that underpins all of his life choices up to this point. It's essentially playing the opposite to a degree. So it was kind of knowing when to let those elements bleed through a little bit. I think I had probably about a page worth of scripts, quite a lot of script actually to audition with. 

But I don't like to listen back to it a lot, because I think you get into your head. My biggest thing is stage work where it's ephemeral. You say it once and it could be different the next night. The whole point is that there's no one definitive way of doing things. Not quite the same with voice acting, where it's being recorded and you've got to get used to hearing it back. But I try not to overthink it. Just like record it two or three times with different impulses and then review and go like, those two seem pretty contrasting. I'll send those along and hope and then never hear anything back unless I do.

[cawyden-gaming]

Christopher Tester (Heinrix VA) voice acting a part of my fanfiction Immortalium.

It is a scene that isn’t posted yet that follows the game event in act 4 where the Rogue Trader can disappear again on a companion quest (spoiler for the companion below and in the video).

While sadly not in the game, I think we can imagine the emotions Heinrix must be going through at this moment:

He is angry with himself, that he wasn't able to prevent this from happening, angry with whoever is responsible for the Rogue Trader to disappear

He is emotionally hurt and in great pain as he just lost the woman (again), that he fell in love with

The sheer helplessness that he can't do anything to help her come back

There are moments where he clinges on hope and where he tries to keep control over his emotions, to distance himself from the pain like he always does

He is remorseful over things he said and did that hurt her, and the missed opportunities to make it right (this is specific for my fanfic)

The voiced scene is Heinrix trying to write a letter to his beloved Rogue Trader, even if his words might never reach her. While writing, he voices his thoughts about the whole ordeal.

I hope you enjoy Christophers very emotional performance as much as I did:

The whole text (as I mentioned, this is while he is trying to write a letter):

“Dear… no.”

“Lord Captain...”

“I... I lost you.”

“And now we are dragged against our will along the unpredictable currents of the warp, unable to steer a path of our own, to break away into realspace once again, a plaything of volatile forces. But we shouldn't even be here, it wasn't planned and the usual protocols and rituals were not done. What were you and Lady Cassia doing in the sanctum? Why was no one else informed? What were you hiding? Would you have told me if things had been different between us?”

“No. No! Right on this ship, right under my nose ... what am I not seeing?”

“Gone. How many hours have I spent in front of this accursed painting, looking for a sign, a trace, wondering if something would drag me through it like it did with you? Granting me relief by uniting me with you or a slow death of agony in the horrors of the warp.”

“Nothing. Despite everything I tried, everything I did, all the investigations, interrogations...can you believe that I even asked Idira for help, to listen to the voices in the warp against my better knowledge and judgement, still leaving me with nothing that brings me closer to you, to help you return.”

“What good is the authority of my position, years of experience that refined my skills and abilities, all my collected knowledge, even my sorcery, if it can't help me protect or save the one who matters most to me?”

“Trap after trap after trap we went through - with open eyes. Even the one I knew was coming. Whatever happened now, took me by complete surprise. It shouldn't have.”

“I can't sleep and I am too tired to think clearly anymore. I am at a loss.”

“No. Focus, van Calox. I won't give up - there must be an explanation, a solution, a better way than just waiting for another miracle to happen. I have to do something, anything to bring you back. It can't end like this.”

“Every day can be the last … I learned this lesson far too well – why didn't I act like it? Letting valuable time run through my fingers as if we had eternity to spend. As if there was for sure a tomorrow to tell you what I need you to know, to make things right, to get another chance to hold you, to be with you.”

“I only ever wanted to protect you. I failed. Again. Trying to keep you safe but all I accomplished was to push you away and to hurt your feelings in the process. I was blinded by revenge against the Xenos, for all the pain and suffering they had inflicted upon us. By my concern and fear it could happen again. If I had done things differently maybe... but now it's too late.”

“Hope. How often is it used as a tool, perverted in a cruel attempt to increase the pain of suffering? I have seen it countless times. Did it myself. And yet, it is all I have left. I hope for your safe return. For another chance for both of us, one I would dare not waste again.”

“Commoragh. We returned, against all odds. Maybe we were just pawns in a game of gods. I like to believe the Emperor watched over us in this forsaken place. I hope he still watches over you and helps you return once more, wherever you are. Because I, apparently, can't.”

“Please come back to me.”

[noelle666]

I'm just gonna post it here because sometimes you need good voice acting. And cats. :)

[indigo-scribbles]

Isha von Valancius for @redbatchedcumbermayned

She recently uploaded Cameo of, the one and only, Christopher Tester reading her "Heinrix letter to Isha" that she wrote. Come and check it out, and be at awe of both talents, writer and voice actor

[unsupervised-threat]

Damn, that hits hard.

[magicmalcolm]

Another something-something that's probably going nowhere (note that names haven't even been assigned yet), but enjoy the imagery in potentia?

[slowcatsworld]

Blue Lock Master Striker Headcanons

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France’s PXG: Julian Loki

My sweet

Julian definitely is an older sibling (literally made a 3 post long argument on how he is one so TRUST he is). His favorite memory of his little sibling is when they first said his name. The small ‘Julian’ mumbled in multiple breaths (ju..julian yk) made him pause his homework and look them straight in the eye. They stared back with a big, innocent smile. Julian broke out into a smile of his own and grabbed the little guy for a hug.

Julian has such a carefree relationship with his mom, he gives off such mama’s boy vibes. They are a duo that would stay up late watching tv shows even though he has school in the morning and his mom has work. When his mother would cook something Julian was always her taste tester. He lost count the amount of times he would go back for seconds just to “get a better taste” and receive a wooden spoon to the hand. Julian’s mother would adore his girlfriend, especially since she can tell what a good impact you have on her son.

Julian would work well with someone who has a lot of energy but doesn’t need to be monitored or babysat. For example, say he is out at an amusement park with his friends and significant other. His girlfriend sees a game stand that piques her interest and hurls away from the group to investigate with determined steps. Julian isn’t worried about her getting lost or in an altercation with someone. he knows she’ll be back soon and give everyone a detailed report of the stand, the game set up, and the prizes offered. Whether or not she will ask him to spot her some cash to play the game is a whole other story. (Brother is loaded just from playing football)

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England’s Manshine City: Chris Prince

I hate him

Pathetic man baby vibes

Chris is very aware of his personal hygiene and is ridiculously active in taking care of his body. He has a personal massager, esthetician, chiropractor, waxer, the works. He loves his physicality too much to let himself rust in any capacity. He almost never skips brushing his teeth or washing his face. If he isn’t fueled with a type of passion or desperate enough, he won’t kiss you in the morning until you both at least have some mouth wash. He carries two different deodorant scents in his practice bag. This is nice because you know he won’t ever smell bad, but sometimes he becomes cologne nose blind (especially on high end dates).

He has a beef with Americans. (I don’t know if he’s confirmed English but he is today) He doesn’t mock them or become outwardly rude to them, but he’s thankful to be in the European League and not the North American League (is that a real league? Google isn’t helping and I don’t know shit abt professional soccer leagues-) Chris goes bonkers when someone jokingly calls him an American; as he will be whining and waving his arms about how he’s so much better than them and how it insults his legacy to be compared to an American and not be acknowledged as an English man.

When his hair isn’t cooperating with him he cries out of frustration.

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Spain’s FC Barcha: Lavinho

Lavinho loves the feeling of dancing with his partner. It’s intimate and free, no matter what style nor if there was music or not. Lavinho is so fond of holding your hips and gently swaying the two of you in the silent hours of the night that he has a pep in his step when he walks home from practice. Your scent filling his nostrils, the heat he can feel coming from your neck and shoulder as he rests his head there, it’s all too perfect as he begins to hum a song to himself.

Lavinho would want to get a tattoo reminiscent of you. If yall ever were that serious. At first he was thinking of your name, but you shot that down quickly. Something more primal and colorful was more his style. He wants something that represents you, though. Y’all compromise on a couple things that fit both of your wishes. Your favorite flower, a kiss mark, and a woman dancing with a pair of wings emerging from her back. (Picture this omg. The woman could be bowing, in the middle of a dance move or smth and the wings are halfway out of her back. Or something like the woman looking up and outstretched and welcoming to the feeling around her. With the wings spread out powerful and graceful. Okay I’m done I’m done)

Lavinho loves being barefoot. If he can’t be barefoot, Lavinho is wearing open toed shoes. Chanclas, flip flops, Birkenstocks, doesn’t matter. He grew up like this, and doesn’t quite want to conform his freedom and customs to the world of Europe yet. Even if he has been living there for years. He gets so happy at feeling sand under his feet as well, it reminds him of his younger childhood days in the best way. (This is prolly canon bc the first time we see him he’s barefoot right?)

Am I becoming a Lavinho girl..?

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Italy’s Ubers: Marc Snuffy

I don’t like him but I don’t hate him-

He says ‘shitty brats’ too much in the same breath at the end of the Ubers vs BM match I think he unlocked his previous degradation kink or smth idek maybe that’s why

Okay focus

Mick Moon’s death still haunts Snuffy. He hasn’t truly let it go, and even though he seems to make progress during the Ubers vs BM match, he has a long way to go to fully come to peace with his best friend’s death. Most times Snuffy can’t drink alcohol without thinking of Mick and becoming guilty. All the thoughts of how he could have saved Mick from his fate, how he did try but it wasn’t enough, how he allowed for his best friend to ruin his own life- even though that meant Mick stayed true to his philosophy. It hurts Snuffy. It’s the main reason why Snuffy cares so deeply for his teammates now, and why he goes out of his way to make sure they are okay mentally in his own way.

Snuffy wasn’t that interested in the luxury of lust that came from women when he first started out on his dream to being a professional footballer. It wasn’t until Mick that he started indulging in being a lady’s man. While it was almost always lustful and physical, the women that tugged at his heartstrings were the ones that would compliment Snuffy’s nose. The ones that would hold his face to their chest and give him slow, loving kisses to his nose while their hands moved further up into his hair. The ones that knew his eyes were actually orange and not brown and how those women looked into his sharp, big eyes like he was the reason for all their happiness was surreal. Those instances it would become all too real for Snuffy. The lines between lust and something more would get blurred and blurred until he got scared and backed away and moved to the next lady in the next club with a smaller smile than before.

Snuffy is very proud of his black belt in Jujitsu. Especially with the way it helps him on the football field. His understanding of his own body and abilities mean more to him than the average person too. Also because of Mick and how Mick ignored his body both before and after getting let go as a footballer.

Okay, Snuffy isn’t that bad I guess-

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Germany’s Bastard Munchen: Noel Noa

My man my man my man

Let me give you a big smooch

Noel sunburns so easily. He never tans, he always burns a hot pink. He has but an ounce of melanin in his skin that prevents him from being totally albino. Because of this, he is very serious and methodical about applying sunscreen. He applies daily, especially when he knows he’ll be outside for practice or a game. He also isn’t that fond of costal activities because of the sun exposure, even more so because he can’t swim that well. (OMG I read a little blurb about Noel not being able to swim but his wife loved to I don’t know who wrote it but it was so cute I’ll try to find the writer)

He does interviews for football, but finds them rather bland and not that important. He likes to discuss football strategies and profile analysis he’s done of other players, but most of the time reporters aren’t that interested in his words. They always want to know more intimate details about him, it feels like to Noel. Just not his exact cup of tea, but he knows other players are always willing to talk in an interview so he leaves the chitter to them if he can. He likes for his actions on the field to speak for him.

Noel makes an effort to acknowledge stray animals if he can. The cat sitting on the restaurant sill? He gave it some head scratches before continuing his walk. The dog that always lays in the same sunny spot of concrete on the sidewalk? Noel has given him some water just yesterday. It feels as though he’s paying homage to their sacrifices by giving them small acts of domesticity as he was once a stray too. He still feels like one sometimes. At night when he’s awake in his bed thinking, he ponders the possibility of taking one of the many strays home with him. He won’t allow himself to though. He can’t stoop so low as to take an animal into a home that he knows he’ll be absent enough from them (his football commitment sigh) to not properly take care of them, his head reasons, even if his heart wants him to act so unrationally.

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This biscuit is just for you, mwah 😽

8.6.24

[sturnmeovr]

♡‧₊˚ February Au Special

ఇ 'Let Us Happen' | 02/03 | Blurb | Angst | Fluff | {neighbor!Matt x brat!Reader} | Brat has always been known to hide behind her tough exterior, Matt is the only person who can break her out of her shell. Being stuck in a constant loop of Matt breaking down her walls just for her build them back up as soon as he says or does the wrong thing, it has Matt overwhelmed and ready to crumble under pressure.

ఇ 'Will you be my Valentine, mommy?’ | 02/23 | Blurb | Fluff {babydaddy!Chris x sweetheart!Reader} | A look into the future; Chris helps their son, Bear, make a Valentines present for Sweetheart.

ఇ 'Be Mine?' | TBD | Fic | Fluff | Smut | {neighbor!Matt x brat!Reader} | Matt and Brat spend the night making their own heart shaped pizzas and watching chick flicks together. When Matt asks her to be his valentine thru the pepperoni cuttings he decorates on his pizza, Brat is in awe and quickly calls for a food fight, making things a bit steamy.

ఇ 'Take Me Back' | TBD | Fic | Smut | Angst | {babydaddy!Chris x sweetheart!Reader} | Secretly, they both missed each other but were too stubborn to admit it. Sweetheart knew Chris wasn't good for her, Chris did too - he was just too stuck in his ways to admit it. When Valentines Day rolls around, she ignores Chris all day unless it's about their son. When Chris starts to overthink her lack of communication on a special day like this, he winds up at her doorstep.

ఇ 'Cat Daddy' | TBD | Blurb | Fluff | {neighbor!Matt x brat!Reader} | After a long weekend of watching friends reruns and eating junk food together, Matt declares his love for Brats cat, Wendy. He promises to love her as his own and become the best cat daddy in NYC.

ఇ 'Locked In' | TBD | Blurb | Fluff | {babydaddy!Chris x sweetheart!Reader} | Chris lets his intrusive thoughts, getting Sweethearts named tattooed in an attempt to win her back.

ఇ Neighbor!Matt Bot | 02/22 | {neighbor!Matt x brat!Reader} | Based off of the relationship Matt and Brat share; a constant cycle of Matt getting Brat to break her walls, opening up to him fully, only for her to build them back up, brick by brick, as soon as he does or says.

ఇ Babydaddy!Chris Bot | 02/15 | {babydaddy!Chris x sweetheart!Reader} | Based off of Chris and Sweethearts relationship; as guilty as he feels for cheating on her when she was nearly 7 months pregnant with his son, Chris loves the chase, and he’d do whatever it takes to win Sweetheart back. He just wants his family back together.

♡‧₊˚ Cheys Note -I wanted to surprise you guys with a little special since I recently hit 800 followers which is so surreal so me cause I was just thanking you guys for 600 a few posts ago 🥰🫶🏻 I'm so grateful for every single one of you, I can’t even put it into words! 🥹 I'm still figuring out all the dates, but I will be updating soon! Still working on the bots, they'll be my first so go easy on me lol. I’m actually looking for not tester so if anyone is interested pls lmk know!! And don't worry, I'll still be posting outside of my February Special. Send me feedback or ideas?! I would love to add to this and I'm open to suggestions! <3

© sturnmeovr - Please do not copy my work.

[redbatchedcumbermayned]

"I didn’t even know that there was the possibility of a romance option when voicing Heinrix" - Interviewing Chris Tester part 2

We're continuing our interview with Chris Tester, the voice of Heinrix van Calox in Owlcat's CRPG Rogue Trader. In this part we speak about insights into Heinrix's character, how the process of recording voice lines for a video game works, if Chris would romance Heinrix in game, and interacting with his fans.

Part 1 of the interview

Part 3 of the interview

I will publish this interview in three parts over the next week in text form and with the accompanying audio file (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

F: So, you already talked a bit about Heinrix as a character. What drew you to the character or what hidden depth did you find in the character?

CT: Well, I hope I found some depth to the character. That contrast between principles or values that you seem to be holding onto and lots of unprocessed trauma going on underneath. Sure, that seems interesting, that seems like a really interesting thing to find. Because you can understand, therefore, the appeal of an ideology, which gives you the answers and it tells you what to do. Essentially, it gives you a role, authority, it gives you status, you completely understand the appeal of that. Just like I find voice-over incredibly appealing and exciting: it gives me structure and authority and the illusion that I know what I'm talking about and what I'm doing. 

And then there's the flip side: you could make him heretical in some way, shape or form. And you know, I love, obviously, the fact that he belongs to part of that world which I'm sort of familiar with. Where a lot of the more interesting characters are the ones that have disavowed this God Emperor kind of like status in one way or the other, they tend to have a little bit more going on. They're not two-dimensional villains, not all of them, not all of the time anyway. Whereas on the one hand he's not going full chaos, there was just an interesting tension there to explore. Also, it kind of reminded me a little bit of the Eisenhorn series, which again, it's an Inquisitor that through his pursuit of different things starts to question and use the powers of the warp for his own purposes. A very different character, but still, there are those parallels that I really liked, that fallibility, that vulnerability to a degree, but I wouldn't say too much because I didn't really know how vulnerable or how much of a journey he was going to have in the early stages. I didn't know that until we were recording, I'll be honest. 

And I didn’t even know that there was the possibility of a romance option, until we were like: Oh, these are romancing lines. And I was like, you what now? So, sorry, I appear to be saying some quite forward things, from his point of view anyway, that's slightly taken me aback. They were like: oh yeah, you're romanceable, you can have a romance. I was like, oh, okay, right. I'll just think back to the five hours or so of recording that we've done up to this point and pray that I've made the right choices. So that was a bit of a crazy ride, but thanks to Olga, the writer of my character, she gave really astute directions. She wasn't in all of the sessions, but the majority, especially when there were big plot beats to explain to me what the hell was going on, however, roughly. She was great. And also the technicians at 3B. I was working with a lot of different members of the group technicians slash directors as well. And they were great in terms of giving me not exactly the bare minimum details, but the bare minimum details that I needed in order to be able to make choices quickly, but strongly and relevant to the game. So yeah, it was quite a trip.

F: Thank you. Since you have been trained as a stage actor do you bring a certain physicality to voice acting? If you embody Heinrix, do you puff your chest? Are you rigid?

CT: Definitely. I think there's the reason why rather than having a small booth, I record in a room is, that I can explore those dynamics as much as possible. And the fact that I was able to record standing and very upright and taking that space was vitally important. Obviously, there's the action stuff that really helps when you're actually making fighting noises. That's one thing. But I think in terms of real subtle differences to be able to, as well as mic proximity when he's speaking under his breath and that kind of thing, that's obviously incredibly vital, but even the subtle things of being able to have that big open physicality because he is so often so imperious because he thinks he's absolutely right. That was a vital aspect to explore and just being able to be upright and expressive in that made such a huge difference. 

And also when, without wanting to give too much away, he's in more constricted circumstances, shall we say, trying to do that just purely through the voice means that it all becomes about the sound that you're making as opposed to the truth of the character's journey without wanting to be, again, too much of a cliche, but focusing on that rather than am I making the right gurgling noise?

F: Were you offered any other character to audition for Owlcat? Or if you could, which other character would you like to voice?

CT: I couldn't say any of the other characters. I do play a couple of NPCs randomly. I think before even I had Heinrix. There's some cockney London geezer in there that is immediately disposable. That was me. That was my kind of guaranteed role. I was like, great, fantastic, because I did the audition for Heinrix and then there was quite a few months before it was actually kind of confirmed. I thought the role had gone to somebody else. As with many of these things, you just don't hear back. If you don't hear back, you just assume it's dead and then suddenly it'll come back up or it won't or you'll see another voice actor posting on Instagram going “amazing session” and you slightly die inside and then you move on. 

But in terms of the other characters, I mean, I've met, at least digitally online, the vast majority of the principal companion cast and they're all lovely and amazing and I associate them with their performances. For better or worse, Heinrix is very much my kind of casting and I loved it. Not because he's pretty in a particularly posh kind of way, but that helps. Sure, I'll go with that kind of slightly emotionally constipated. I'm very well cast, very well done, but I think so is everybody else. Throughout the entire game, it's a bit of a who's who, they might not be all household names, but in terms of for myself, the actors that I know in some big parts and some really small parts, the actors that I know in the UK and in the U.S. voice-over scene, so much talent, so that it was just an honour to be included in that really.

F: So now I have to ask you a question from our discord server. Would you romance Heinrix if you were playing a female Rogue Trader? 

CT: I think that would be a bit weird. No, I'll just watch videos of other people romancing him slash me. Is that more or less weird? I mean, I'm 42 years old. I've spent far too much time playing with myself already. So, let's just draw a line under that, but other people are welcome to. That's absolutely fine. My only thing, without wanting to overstate it too much, is that I was very surprised that there was anything around any character that I've been related to but as with so many of the other companions as well, that's a testament to the writing. Credit to the whole Owlcat team in that respect.

F: Would you like to continue working with Owlcat in the future in another capacity?

CT: Oh, God. Yeah. They've not made me sign an NDA, so I can say, not name a thing, but there's DLC for one of their other titles, which I'm going to be in, and that's in a completely different world. There's that thing of once you've had one really positive experience with the developer and the type of games that they create. The ones that are very story focused, that's the type of games that I'm passionate about. I was brought up on these things like the Mass Effect Trilogy. You know, that absolutely iconic kind of stuff, and so to be a part of someone else's experience to facilitate that kind of longer storytelling stuff is exactly what I would be after. They've got a great process, amazing writers and I also think that the games themselves look fantastic. So yeah, I'm a fan of that.

F: So your fan base has certainly expanded since the release of the game. Do you mind having a female fan base now? Have you noticed that there is a bit of a shift because Warhammer 40k for the totally uninitiated looks like a male hobby and unfortunately some part of the male fans are very aggressive against female fans.

CT: Are absolutely ridiculous. Idiots, essentially. Because my relationship to the whole Warhammer 40k thing is like, I played it when I was really young, and then you put away your childish things. I'm saying that in inverted commas, that's kind of ironic or whatever, and then didn't really get back into it until someone gave me a book and I realised that the lore was actually quite good, quite interesting, and then actually really good and really interesting, and I therefore have done some novels for them and a couple of video games as well. 

But to your question, do I mind? No, of course I don't mind. I'm very happily married and well adjusted, so I definitely don't mind as long as it's all respectful, if that makes sense. Surprise, surprise, female fans seem to conduct themselves with that level of respect or if there is a server which is going into crazy, crazy character scenarios and that kind of stuff, no one's sending me a link to that. And even if it is, it's the character, it's not me, and so that's all quite healthy and good. And I think I'm definitely not in a position where I should be censoring any of that kind of thing at all. I think it's all positive and very, very healthy and everybody that I've interacted with has been incredibly respectful. So, I think that's great. 

And I think being able to portray these characters that offer that level of connection is great. We're in a post Baldur's Gate world, I suppose. Not that there weren't other games that did this, but on that scale and everything. I think the value that the games can offer in that. Rogue Trader is hugely valuable and I definitely wouldn't want to censure any of that at all.

F: Yeah, it was nice. I reconnected a lot with people who have this fandom experience again that I had in the Eddie Redmayne fandom more than 10 years ago when it was small, when you have a rather small group of fans and then a very nice person that you're a fan of, and you can interact with.

CT: So people have contacted me via Cameo, for example. And, you know, they've had a certain particular playthrough and then they say, well, I would like you to voice this letter from Heinrix or whatever.

F: That was me.

CT: There have been more than just you is what I'm saying, but sorry, not to say that I'm a whore and I'll just do anything, but you're not the only person who has come to me with that kind of thing. And that's great. That's a pleasure, because it's continuing to tell the story on a wider scale. But also the fact that you can personalise and make it your own. And that's the brilliant thing. 

That's part of the whole appeal of a video game, as opposed to it being a theatre piece or a film or something else is that it was very much your experience, your playthrough. You can have multiple versions of the thing that you kind of like one but you can really structure your own narrative. And that's a fascinating thing. You get to iterate on it yourself. You know, if one stage of that is also being able to call upon the voice actor to facilitate that, I think that's a cool thing, you know, as long as it doesn't get too weird or too whatever, but you know, whatever two consenting adults want to exchange money for or time, great, fine. I think that's less weird than getting an AI to do it personally. I think that level of storytelling is a great thing.

[cawyden-gaming]

Rogue Trader - Heinrix voiced lines for mobile phone etc.

I have asked Christopher Tester on cameo to read some lines to be used as alerts and ring tone on mobile phones (or other devices). The video (if you like to watch him) is here (google drive - you might need to get the app for this).

Alternative link for MediaFire

In case this is interesting for you:

He was already so kind to provide the single files as mp3 and I converted them for iPhones to mr4.

Both formats are available here.

Here are the texts:

Ringtone

Lord Captain, we don't have much time - there is an incoming vox call for you. I assure you, this is not a corrupted vox cast. According to preliminary data, it seems to be important and the Inquisition requires your cooperation in accessing this information. Allow me to remind you that you are under orders from the Lord Inquisitor to provide support in deeds great and small that serve to safeguard our interest – well, this is it. Are you really sure you can allow yourself to not accept this call? By the throne, can you please respond to the vox call? What will it take for you to finally act? This ends now, Rogue Trader.

New voicemail

Rogue Trader, I have discovered a vox recording that might be of shared interest for us both.

New SMS

Lord Captain, I happened to be present when the astropaths received a new message. I have already decrypt it for you, no thanks required.

New Email

Lord Captain, I was asked to deliver this letter to you. I would ask you to read it as soon as you find the time.

Calender event/reminder

Lord Captain, something very important is about to happen. Steel yourself and be prepared. Trust me - you do not want to miss it.

[ajoure]

well so that's a question I get sometimes

I actually don't mind if Chris Tester (Eddie), Baldwin (Sawyer), Nola Klop (Stella, if I'm not mistaken) or Robin Nelson (Leith) find my stuff somehow. I suspect Baldwin already did, because you know, Doctor has his eyes everywhere, and not even the ground beneath our feet is safe. Or if they check out the 4cmit AU. Like, they are just people too. Pretty important, inspiring, with amazing voices, but people (and half of them prolly don't have Tumblr so why would I worry)

I'm in this fandom to have fun and I'm doing great. It's all that matters

Would be awkward if White's va founds my au tho because man I did your boy Bruno dirty /hj

[sturniololuvz]

Can you do one where the triplets are filming a baking video and Chris two year old, innocently picks up a knife not knowing any better and cuts her finger and the video ends with them in the hospital sitting in Chris’s lap crying while she gets stitches, while matt and Nick try to make her laugh or make light of the situation

“Just a Little Cut”

The kitchen was full of flour, laughter, and the chaotic energy of a Sturniolo baking video.

Chris’s two-year-old daughter sat perched on a stool by the counter, giggling at the mess her dad and uncles were making. Her tiny apron said “Official Taste Tester,” and she was mostly just there to steal spoonfuls of frosting.

“Alright, you mix that—” Chris pointed at Matt.

“Why me?” Matt groaned. “I’m the worst at mixing!”

Nick laughed behind the camera. “And yet, you never stop volunteering.”

Chris leaned over his daughter. “Alright, peanut, what do you think? More chocolate chips?”

She nodded enthusiastically, smearing frosting on her nose.

It was perfect chaos—until it wasn’t.

The camera was still rolling when Chris turned to grab something from the fridge, and Matt and Nick started bickering over the amount of baking powder.

In those ten seconds, Chris’s daughter climbed down from her stool—curious eyes locking on a shiny paring knife left too close to the edge of the counter.

She reached for it.

“Hey—” Nick caught it just as she grabbed the handle, but it was too late.

A sudden, sharp cry rang out.

Chris turned in a split second. “What happened?!”

She was crying—sobbing, actually—clutching her tiny hand as blood welled up from a shallow cut on her finger.

Chris’s heart stopped.

“Oh my God—baby—” he scooped her into his arms immediately, voice trembling. “It’s okay. Daddy’s got you. You’re okay.”

Matt’s face had gone pale. “Shit—shit, I didn’t see—”

“Turn off the camera!” Nick barked, already grabbing a towel and pressing it gently against her hand.

Chris held her close, trying to stay calm even as panic pulsed through him. “We’re going to the hospital. Now.”

⸻

At the ER

She wouldn’t stop crying.

She was tired, scared, confused, and in pain—and the bright white lights of the emergency room didn’t help.

Chris sat with her in his lap, rocking her gently as her small body trembled against his chest. His hoodie was soaked with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered over and over, kissing the top of her head. “You’re okay now. Daddy’s here.”

Matt sat across from them, head in his hands. “I shouldn’t’ve put that knife there.”

“It was all of us,” Nick said quietly. “She’s two. She doesn’t know what’s dangerous. We should’ve been more careful.”

Chris didn’t say anything—just stared down at his daughter, brushing her curls back while the nurse cleaned her hand.

She whimpered when the doctor mentioned stitches.

“No stitches,” she cried. “No, no, Daddy, no!”

Chris hugged her tighter. “I know, baby, I know. It’s just one, okay? Just a little stitch, like a Band-Aid. I’ll hold your hand the whole time. Promise.”

Matt, trying not to tear up himself, knelt beside the chair and gently poked her nose. “Hey. You’re braver than your dad, you know that?”

Nick grinned. “Yeah, he almost passed out when he got stitches once.”

Chris let out a shaky laugh. “Thanks, guys.”

His daughter blinked through her tears, a small smile breaking through. “Really?”

“Really,” Matt nodded. “He cried like a baby.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

By the time the stitches were done, she was still sniffling—but her eyes were drowsy, and she clung to Chris’s shirt like it was the only thing tethering her to safety.

“You did so good,” Chris whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “So, so good.”

Nick grabbed a sticker from the nurse’s station. “You want the sparkly unicorn or the space rocket?”

She pointed sleepily at the unicorn, tucking it in her hand.

And on the way home, as she slept against Chris’s shoulder, her hand wrapped in gauze and her favorite blanket over her legs, the triplets didn’t say much.

But every now and then, Chris would tighten his hold just a little — like he was making sure she was still there.

Because accidents happen. Life gets messy.

But she was safe. She was okay.

And that was all that mattered.

⸻

[saviinika]

Rogue Trader mutuals!

Have you seen the very good boy?! Abelard, get the pupper. We’re going walkies.

I am unreasonably excited for this expansion. Chris Tester also posted that he was doing last minute v/o earlier this week and I am even MORE UNREASONABLY EXCITED for new Heinrix dialogue!

[dramaticallytotal]

TDWT Headcanons: PT. 6

Part 1 Last Part

• Lindsay definitely is bringing some of her Admiral Lindsay Her Hotness attitude back for this season, just not as intense. She liked being respected for once, and she liked being relied on. So this season, she vowed she would find the in-between for herself.

• This season, she is even wearing a navy blue jacket that looks kind of like her admiral jacket along with a thick navy blue ribbon headband to replace her usual blue bandana.

• Heather actually has friends this season! Because as much as I love her Queen Bee, lone wolf thing, I think she deserves to make some friends. Leshawna is, of course, one. Harold is surprisingly another. And Noah.

• Leshawna and her have gotten closer, though there are still moments when they argue with each other. Harold respects her game, and they both relate to each other about their siblings, not liking them. It's sad, but it's nice to have someone relate to. Noah was a surprise for her, but it was a little after Action that he reached out and gave her his sister Nila's contact info since she knew what it was like to go from super long hair to short very abruptly. Plus, Nila had tips for growing her hair! Plus, plus, the two like to talk shit about other people with each other.

• It's why Heather hates Alejandro so much. Like, yeah, they need to try and pretend to have crushes on each other, but it's hard to do that when he got Harold to vote himself out. When he got Leshawana and her to fight worse than they ever have before, and when she could tell Noah had a crush on him and the guy flirted with him only to go and flirt with her. It created a lot of space between her and her favorite snark.

• No one is supposed to know about their separate deals with Chris to make the show more interesting, but some people have guessed who has a deal and who doesn't. Though Noah has guessed most of the deals, he doesn't know that Aleheather is scripted.

• Yes, Lindsay and Beth got attested in Paris, but not for what Celebrity Manhunt reported. She never touched the Mona Lisa, but Beth did trip over the ropes, and the security guard was yelling and Beth looked so scared, so Lindsay reacted, and by reacting, I mean , she slapped the security guard.

• Beth's mom, Clara, did bail them out because Lindsay's family were on their own vacations, and she couldn't get a hold of them. When they did hear what happened they of course, paid her back, but Lindsay felt like it's her responsibility to do it, so she agreed to pretend to forget what Tyler looks like and his name. It's to get the money to pay Clara back.

• Courtney, Noah, DJ, and Sierra are all published authors.

• Courtney writes guides on how to make study guides and other self-help type books. Noah writes video game guidebooks as well as coding books. He's actually paid to make the video game books. He's also a beta tester, but no one knows that. DJ writes cookbooks with his Momma. Sierra wrote, of course, books on Total Drama. Basically, guides for those just starting to watch. Like the who's who, the challenges, the teams, secret little Easter eggs she found.

• If Noah gets hurt during an episode, Chris makes sure to call his family and tell them how he's doing. He is friends with Noah's parents, so he feels like it's his duty to let them know how their kid is. (He definitely doesn't count himself in that 'their' no siree.)

• Alejandro is definitely trying his best to make the showmance happen, but every time he goes to flirt and make it seem like he and Heather have something going on, he gets distracted by Noah. Like the way he only wears his glasses when he's sure the cameras are off even though he looks positively adorable in them. Or the way he pouts when something in his book displeased him. Oh! Or the small smiles he gives Alejandro when he strikes up a conversation with the bookworm about his thoughts on books he himself has read.

• At some point, he does want to tell Noah that the showmance between him and Heather is just that, a showmance, but then London happened, and Noah was voted off, and maybe Alejandro feels guilty for letting his emotions take over seeing as Noah was actually a strong competitor.

• He also overheard Chris and Chef talking about how Noah had planned on getting voted out and how the kid did great! "I mean, he saw an opportunity and took it, Chef!"

• That's when he realizes that Noah had planned to get out and used him to do it. Now, normally, that would have probably pissed him off, but nope. It basically makes him swoon. He's whipped.

• Owen does actually hold a grudge against Alejandro for voting off his little buddy. (He doesn't know Noah was planning on it). Noah had told Owen that Alejandro didn't like being called Al before he left, and Owen knows his friend didn't tell him so Owen could mess with the guy. His little buddy told him and asked him to go easy with the nickname since he didn't want Owen to become a target. Target be damned! Owen made it his personal mission to call Alejandro, Al, as much as possible.

• Chris and Chef pseudo adopted Noah together, but Chef definitely pseudo adopted Izzy in his head.

• Izzy has shown Cody her hiding place she made in the vents for when he needs space. Look, she may be crazy but she draws the line at stalking/stalkers. (I know in her biography it says she's stalked boys, but I have elected to throw that out of my canon)

• Yes, Noah planned to get thrown off, but when he realized the producers/network wanted him to basically be a miracle worker after he was done with Aftermath, he was like, "What if...no? UwU" and wanted them to suffer, so he won his way back onto the show. Oh, he'll come back to his job after the show, but he expects a big raise.

• Trent feels bad about Noah being voted off because he finally realized that someone else was suspicious of Alejandro, but Noah told him to vote for him so he wouldn't be made a target. He made a real convincing argument, but Trent still felt bad.

• Trent is trying to lay low, but he does warn Gwen about his suspicions, but everything gets crazy with the cheating plot. Which pisses Trent off because he knows there is no way Gwen would cheat on anyone given what happened with her mom.

Next Part

[sylusonychinus]

Episode 6: A Bitter Taste of Reality

Series Masterlist

The day started as any other for Reader—early mornings, endless tasks, and her uniform already wrinkled from bending and scrubbing her way through the hotel floors. She wasn’t a stranger to hard work, especially not in Onychinus Hotel, where nothing less than perfection was expected. Working in one of Sylus Qin’s five-star establishments meant high standards and even higher stakes.

She was in the middle of cleaning one of the upper rooms on the non-VIP floors when the pager at her side buzzed. Her heart sank immediately; it was a direct summon from the penthouse. The familiar number flashed on the small screen—a message from Sylus.

“Looks like your boss wants you,” Chris, her cleaning partner, teased, leaning against the cart of supplies. He’d been working at the hotel longer than Reader, and while he was generally easygoing, he loved poking fun at the fact that Reader was now assigned to work under the infamous Sylus Qin. “Better not keep him waiting. You know how he gets.”

Reader groaned as she shoved her cleaning cloth into the cart. “I was finally making progress with this room.”

Chris waved her off. “I’ve got this. Go deal with your fiancé—sorry, boss.” His grin was playful, but his tone carried an edge of curiosity that Reader didn’t dare address.

“Thanks, Chris,” she muttered before grabbing her pager and making a hasty exit. She knew better than to make Sylus wait. If there was one thing she’d learned about the man in the short time she’d been working directly under him, it was that he had no patience for delays.

By the time she reached the penthouse, she was slightly out of breath. Sylus was lounging in the living room, a picture of ease and elegance in his tailored shirt with the top buttons undone, revealing just enough of his collarbone to make her flustered. He barely acknowledged her arrival, instead swirling a glass of amber liquid in his hand.

“Took you long enough,” he said without looking up.

Reader resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “What do you need, Mr. Qin?”

Finally, his crimson gaze met hers, and that familiar smirk curled on his lips. “You’re going to accompany me to the casino bar.”

Reader blinked, confused. “The bar?”

Sylus stood and placed his glass down on the table with a deliberate motion. “The in-house bar just launched a new line of drinks. I need someone to taste-test them and give me feedback.”

She gawked at him. “You want me to be your taste-tester? I’m just a maid.”

“And my fiancée,” he added with a smirk, clearly enjoying her discomfort. “Your opinion matters, darling.”

Reader sighed, knowing better than to argue. “Fine. Let me grab my things.”

“Good girl,” Sylus said, the teasing lilt in his voice making her cheeks burn. He strode past her toward the elevator, expecting her to follow.

The casino bar was one of the hotel’s crown jewels, a glittering space filled with ambient lighting, sleek furniture, and an air of exclusivity that screamed wealth. As they entered, Reader couldn’t help but feel out of place. This wasn’t a world she belonged to. Yet here she was, walking beside Sylus like she belonged.

The bartender, clearly used to Sylus’s presence, greeted him warmly and began preparing the first drink. Reader took the offered glass and sipped cautiously. It was sweeter than she expected, with a hint of citrus that lingered on her tongue.

“It’s good,” she said, glancing at Sylus. He was watching her closely, his gaze unreadable. “A little strong, but I like it.”

Sylus chuckled, leaning back against the bar. “Strong suits you.”

Reader set the glass down, hesitating before speaking. “Can I ask you something?”

Sylus raised an eyebrow but nodded, intrigued.

She took a breath. “Why did you open Onychinus? You’re already rich, right? You could’ve just relaxed and lived off your fortune, but instead, you run this empire like you have something to prove.”

For the first time, Sylus looked… thoughtful. His usual teasing smirk faded slightly, replaced by something more contemplative. He swirled the drink in his hand, watching the liquid move.

“I grew up with nothing,” Sylus began, his voice quieter than usual, like he was peeling back a layer of himself he rarely let anyone see. “I was an orphan. Left in front of a church when I was barely a few days old. No name, no family—just me and the world.”

Reader blinked, stunned. It was impossible to imagine the polished, sharp, and powerful Sylus Qin as a helpless, abandoned child.

“I spent my childhood bouncing from one place to another,” he continued, his tone calm but distant, like he was recounting someone else’s story. “Orphanages, foster homes, streets. You learn quickly that people only care about what you can do for them. Love? Family? They’re just words. What matters is survival.”

Her heart clenched as she watched him speak, his red eyes reflecting something raw, something painful.

“Then one day, I got lucky—or so I thought.” He chuckled darkly, a sound devoid of humor. “I was adopted by a wealthy man, a so-called philanthropist who paraded me around like a trophy. To the world, he was a savior, giving an orphan a chance at a better life. Behind closed doors, he was ruthless. He taught me that everything—people, loyalty, even kindness—had a price. He built me into a businessman, a strategist. And when he passed, he left me everything—his fortune, his empire, his rules.”

Reader couldn’t look away, her chest tightening with every word. “Sylus, I—”

He cut her off with a wave of his hand, his lips curving into a smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t pity me. I’m not telling you this for sympathy. I just want you to understand.”

“Understand what?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He leaned back in his seat, his gaze fixed on her. “The casino, the hotel, the underground business—they’re not just about money or power. They’re about control. Connections. If I own the game, I never have to play by someone else’s rules.”

His words hung in the air, heavy and unshakable. Reader’s mind swirled, trying to process everything he’d revealed. For a brief moment, she saw the cracks in his armor, the vulnerability he hid beneath his mischievous smirks and calculated demeanor.

But before she could respond, the door to the bar swung open, and Maria’s overly sweet voice pierced the air. “Sylus! There you are!”

Reader instinctively took a step back, the moment between them shattered. Sylus’s expression shifted instantly, his walls snapping back into place as he turned to face Maria with an almost tired smile.

“Maria,” he greeted smoothly, though Reader caught the faintest flicker of annoyance in his eyes.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Maria said, though her presence did exactly that. She slid into the seat beside Sylus, her gaze flickering toward Reader with poorly masked disdain.

Sylus glanced at Reader, his eyes lingering just long enough to make her stomach twist. “Reader, you can go now. I’ll handle things here.”

Her chest tightened as disappointment bubbled to the surface. She nodded stiffly, forcing a polite smile. “Of course. Enjoy your evening.”

As she turned to leave, she couldn’t help but glance back once, catching Sylus’s expression—calm and unreadable. For reasons she couldn’t fully understand, the sight left her with a hollow ache in her chest.

The heart-to-heart they’d shared only moments ago felt like a fragile dream, already slipping away.

Taglist: @nezuswritingdesk @beaconsxd @seris-the-amious @paninisstuff @mysticcollectionvoid @animegamerfox @mcdepressed290 @fries11 @placeholdddddd @madam8 @demon-master-zero @the-reaper472