#clark/jason

[messi-mooni]

So mad at how long this took

[arkangelo-7]

I bet the JL has a “how fucked are we” metric that’s literally just how many of Bruce’s kids are there.

Like if he pulls up to the alien invasion or whatever with just Robin, then everything’s fine. More than fine, actually, because Bruce feels comfortable enough to bring his eight year old along for the ride. This battle will take approximately fifteen minutes and they’ll all get shawarma after. Not fucked in the slightest.

But if Red Robin shows up too… hmm, okay, this is getting somewhat serious. Tim is one of Bruce’s most trusted partners; he’s the smart Robin, the tactician, the loyal one, and so if Batman brought him along then it means he’s at least a little bit worried about shit hitting the fan and wants one his advisors around. But the combined brain power of Bruce and Tim is pretty much unmatched (DC plot armor for the win), so everything will be fine, basically. Superman might take a hit, but everything’s going to be fine. Just keep calm and you’ll all make it home in time to Door Dash some Panda Express before it closes. So not that fucked.

It starts to get serious after that. When Signal and Spoiler roll up the scene, shit has definitely hit the fan. Batman’s worried enough to call in reinforcements and he’s probably doubting the League’s ability to listen/obey his orders, so he needs a backup plan in case things go really south. But with Signal’s abilities and Steph’s superpower of turning anything into a joke, chances are you’ll be okay. Maybe impaled or something, but okay. But still, fucked.

When Nightwing shows, the JL knows it’s starting to get dicey out on the field. See, Nightwing’s got his own team, his own issues—the fact that he set that all aside to help out his dad is cause for concern. On a scale from 1-10, they are at a 7. Above moderately fucked.

And… oh God. Black Bat? Most of the time the JL doesn’t even see her, but once she makes herself known and starts fighting alongside her siblings, they all start to silently freak out. Black Bat is a fucking machine and if she’s breaking a sweat trying to fight the Big Bad, things are definitely not going to go well. They start praying that Batman figures something out. They freak out. They are intrinsically fucked.

But God Forbid you catch sight of the Red Hood. The prodigal son is a legitimate killer, and if Batman’s letting him blow out brains then the JL knows he’s desperate. And a desperate Batman is not good. At all. They are definitely fucked.

[pinkiemachine]

I made a thing….

[demonicsuffrage]

Gotham does a Batman lookalike contest and there's no way the Batkids don't participate along with like, half of Gotham. It is simultaneously their boon and bane

Dick, staring at a Batman suit Tim brought him: What am I supposed to do with that?

Tim, in an identical batsuit: There's a batman lookalike contest in crime alley! We have to participate.

Dick, now staring at the suit in disgust: Wear that? Again? I'd Much Rather Die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason, in another batsuit, staring in the mirror, close to crashing out: Why do I actually look like him?

Damian, in an identical, smaller batsuit: It is because you are nearly the same height and weight as Father.

Jason, immediately tearing the arms off the suit so it looks like a tank top: There. That's better.

Damian: It is not.

Duke, in an identical suit with gold highlights, now covering Damian's ears: You look like Batbabe the stripper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephanie, in her robin suit, standing beside cass, who's in a batman suit: We'll win easy

Duke: You realize it's a batman lookalike competition, right?

Steph: There is no batman without robin, duh

Dick:... you're the only fucker in this family I respect

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: This is incredibly irresponsible of all of you. This could give away major clues that we are-

Duke: Don't you wanna look at your kids cosplaying you, without the danger and responsibilities?

Bruce:

Bruce: Carry on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cass, holding the 20$ prize money she got from winning third place:

Dick, grudgingly holding the 40$ he got for second place, glaring at Bruce:

Tim: Wait, if even Dick's second, who the hell won first?

Clark, holding 100$ and a 'Batman forreal!' certificate: Hi Guys

[noodles-and-tea]

Ok but does adult Dick still get star eyes when he sees Superman, as his hero or does he keep his fangirling low key now that he works along side him, as Nightwing?

(I love your art OP thank you for sharing your art with us!)

He keeps it professional on the field but the second superman is out of sight he reverts to fangirling.

[fallen-jpg]

it's december so time to stare at my art output for the year!!!

picked out some stuff that i'm ok with. wish i had more art to show but im trying to let it go since i was gone for 4 months this year. here's hoping for more drawing time next year

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

The Batfam doesn't realize they got pretty privilege.

Like sure, they know they're attractive because duh, they're basically celebrities, their looks is all people talk about. But the small stuff? The opened doors, the free gifts, the extra smiles and good attitude? That, they're completely clueless to.

It doesn't help that it happens to all of them and most their friends, so nobody notices it's out of the ordinary.

Clark goes "The lady at the cafeteria gifted me this cake" and Bruce is like "Oh yeah, she does that"... She doesn't.

Kory gets offered to cut in line to the front at a concert and tells Dick "People here are so nice!", and instead of noticing the favoritism, Dick holds out three STAFF passes and goes "I know right! Look that lady over there is going to take us backstage!", and they laugh while Wally's eye twiches.

Tim goes undercover wearing cheap loose clothes, contacts and a fake nose, and people are just so mean to him, like no manners at all. They bump into him, ignore him, he says 'Good morning' to an old lady, and she doesn't even say it back! ... He comes back ranting about rude people and what not. And Jason is like "Really? But they're so nice in that neighborhood, that old lady is always giving me candy!". Barbara doesn't know how to tell them the nose simply made Tim look average for once.

Damian. Hits. It. Off. At the pediatric unit of the hospital he's volunteering at. Kids love him, and he thinks it's because Jon was right about the 'Always greet them with a smile' thing, but in reality it's because half the kids got a puppy-love crush on him. Jon, just as oblivious is like "Told you sooo".

Stephanie thinks it's the good karma. She gets a whole ass perfume bottle for free at the mall and is like "See Cass? It's that robbery we stopped last week, the universe is giving it back". Cass, with a perfume of her own, knows better but nods anyway.

Duke thinks they're all dumb and unaware, and he's making fun of them when Alfred goes "And I suppose you think Miss Carrington has saved you a seat at the bus for the last three weeks just because". Duke doesn't say anything after that.

[thebat-musicman]

Gotham Gazette: Reporter Clark Kent spotted wearing t-shirt stating “I fucked him before he was a himbo”

Gotham Gazette a few days later: BREAKING NEWS: Red Hood has issued several death threats against Clark Kent

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Bruce: Today I realised I'm old

Clark: What happened?

Bruce: I fell in the kitchen and instead of laughing, all my kids came running to see if I was ok

Clark:

Bruce: I saw fear in their eyes

[dandeliont3aandsageleaves]

Bruce: *putting superman to shame with his workout routine*

Clark: Hey Bruce, is everything okay? Did Bane get out again?

Bruce, without pausing: I tried to pick Jason up last week but I ended up dropping him. I need to get stronger so I can carry all of my kids >:(

[timdrakealways17]

Tim: I discovered who Batman is

Bruce, acting shocked: who??

Tim: it’s… CLARK KENT

Damian, watching from afar: I know we all agreed weed would help Drake calm down.. but this is..

Jason: more importantly why is Bruce playing along?

Dick: I want to hear more about this theory

—-

Meanwhile in Metropolis:

Clark, reading the newspaper, cup of coffee: did someone call for me?

Lois: no? Who do you think did?

Clark: this is going to sound crazy, but I think Tim thinks I’m Batman and is unaware of Bruce’s identity

Lois: ok.. while you ponder that can you do the dishes?

Kon, also listening in, pulling Lois aside: I want it on record that I did NOT supply Tim with weed

Lois:

Kon: and that I would NEVER do so

Lois: I will offer you ten seconds to find a better hiding spot for your stash than under your bed

Kon, running off:

—-

This was the last time Bruce was convinced to allow Tim to consume substances based on a slideshow that Tim had created.

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[pommeauromarin]

Enemies to lovers, but only one of them thinks they're enemies. The other has been entirely obsessed since the beginning.

Only acceptable way for me to read this trope

[demonicsuffrage]

By some supernatural accident, Batman and Superman swap bodies. But the accident was just so embarassing that they collectively decided to NOT tell anyone about, and figure out how to reverse it all on their own. But, unfortunately, this means they now have to keep up this farce in front of their families

Clark, in Bruce's body, wiping some blood off his mouth and wincing at the 15 cracked ribs he now has: Guess I can bleed, huh

Dick, staring in disbelief after the patrol: YES OFCOURSE YOU CAN!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU THROW YOURSELF DIRECTLY ON TOP OF A GRENADE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, in Clark's body, squinting at the bright smallville sun at the Kent farm: This is way too much for 11 am

Jon, staring at his newly grumpy dad: I think batman is a bad influence on you, dad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark in Bruce's body, staring at his reflection in the mirror: The shoulder to waist ratio is insane, such a grabbable waist

Poor Tim, who accidentally overheard this, getting ready to call Arkham: Uhuh it's definitely, insane

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kon: And so I said, ofcourse, i would love the soup-er salad!

Bruce in Clark's body, deadpan expression on his face:

Kon: Get it? Soup-er salad?

Bruce: Yes

Kon, sad puppy expression: You always laugh at soup puns :(

Bruce, now with an Extremely Forced little smile: Yes it was very....funny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark, in Bruce's body, rushing to hug a visibly bleeding Jason who walked into the cave after patrol: What happened?! Are you okay?

Jason, freezing up because the last time Bruce ran to hug him was, never:

Clark, immediately backing up, and speaking with a deliberately gruff voice: I mean. Is the blood yours? Son.

Jason:...no

[prlssprfctn]

Once Clark tells Batkids that if they need a safe space or some comfort, then they can come and visit his farm — he'll do his best to provide some help or support.

And he means it.

However, he is pretty sure that they will rarely use this advice of his. They are Batkids, after all! Independent and uncommunicative at the most.

Well.

Turns out he was wrong.

Damian and Dick are frequent quests in his farm, anyway — Damian hangs out with Jon, always appearing out of nowhere, and Dick visits them here and there — so it takes Clark some time to notice that others are here, too.

Tim starts joining them on occasions first. Mostly with Kon by his side, but he still steals sweets from the countertop that they hide from Jon, and Clark just... smiles. Okay. It is cute. Kon is a part of the family, and he is clearly in a good relationship with Tim. It is not bad at all.

...Until, Cass randomly appears in his study room out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of him, telling that she needed a quiet place to read the book.

And then Lois almost gets a heart attack when she wakes up in the middle of the night to drink water and bumps on Duke and his magnificent glowing eyes, because... Because Duke munches their cereals in four am???

(He was nearby after some mission. Was lazy to go to the safehouse. Whatever.)

Clark finds Stephanie sleeping with his sheep, caged in her hug later that week. When he returns home to tell Lois about it, he finds out that... She stress-bakes with Red Hood himself, while they both loudly shit on the Batfamily for different reasons (but mostly it is about Bruce, of course).

Alfred calls him a few hours later, asking to send the kids home for dinner.

Clark thinks that maybe — just maybe — moving out is not a bad idea, after all!

[londrya]

*The kitchen in Wayne Manor*

Clark, drinking a coffee: And then I was like, i don't need....

Jon walking in, not fully awake yet: Morning...

Clark: Morning? What are you doing here? You where supposed to be at kon's?

Kon walking in with Tim in tow: Well technically he is with me.

Wally sapping in to get something from the fridge: Wow, in what kind of family reunion did I stumble into here?

Roy, also there to get something to eat: I dunno man.

Bruce, appearing out of nowhere: The real question here is, why tf you all are at my house.

Alfred: It seems like the boys had a sleepover. Just like old times.

Roy: Hah, tell that to the hickeys on Jason's neck