#contest prep

[fastwhippets]

Cody Montgomery

[somelazyassartist]

HOLY SHIT, WE HIT OUR GOAL OF 300 SALES!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

I'M GIVING OUT SOME DISCOUNTS N' FREE STUFF* TO PEOPLE WHO BUY FROM MY SHOP FOR THE REST OF MAY!!!!!

*(eligible orders only, details below)

[plain text: DISCOUNTS N' FREE STUFF!! MAY 10TH-31ST!! • spend $10 and get 10% off your order + 1 free mini size sticker • spend $20 and get 15% off your order + 1 free regular size sticker • spend $30 and get 20% off your order + 1 free button pin • spend $40 and get 25% off your order + 1 free jumbo size sticker • spend $50 and get 30% off your order + 1 free glow in the dark sticker . (Discounts do not stack - you will receive 1 free item per eligible order. Free items are picked at random from my current stock and designs for free items cannot be guaranteed). End of plain text]

Feel free to come check out my shop for the 300 sale celebration from now until May 31st when this promotion will end!! Thank you all for your support for all this time!! 💖

[clockworkreapers]

Not normal art but... clock is cooking

[good-to-drive]

When I was in high school I was president of history club but literally all we did was argue about which historical figure would win in a fight so to this day I have little meaningful knowledge of history but I do have an uncomfortably detailed theory on why Lincoln could kick Eisenhower's ass

[muscleworshipmx]

Ismael Martínez

[sae-mian]

april showers

[unclefungusthegoat]

.

[malesexualizer]

WOOHOO YIPPEE YAAY

[sunnycanwrite]

for some reason my brother had been given partial control of a comic convention, like planning and executing the thing. Who look at this wimpy man in his early twenty's and went. "yes, you are perfect"

this will either be a train wreck or glorious. Oatmeal boy don't mess up or will come for you.

[oceanicairways]

someone mentioned bruce’s contingency plans in the tags and that made me very curious about what an updated version of them would be. because in the original tower of babel bruce’s plan for him is to hypnotize him into believing that he’s blind while he’s sleeping so that when he wakes up the ring makes it happen. but why i think that plan worked is because kyle was still new to being a GL when that story took place. with his lack of experience, of course being unable to see would be a huge problem. but now, after everything he’s been through, i don’t think it would be nearly as much of a handicap, certainly not enough of one to render him completely incapacitated. green lantern: war journal even features a version of kyle that was permanently blinded who is at peace with it and continues to act as GL. so bruce would probably have to come up with a new plan, and one that would work on a shorter notice than the original. hmm.

Batman VS Everyone

If Batman gets prep time, so does everyone else

[pinkautist]

the instagram phenomenon of "you don't have a picture of yourself posted publicly / as your profile picture, so what you're saying is invalid" is very frustrating for me. i don't have pictures of myself posted publicly because i value my privacy and safety and anonymity on the internet. who knows what someone could and would do with photos of me? especially in the rising age of ai -- i don't think it's worth the risk.

[altkys]

Everyone’s obsessed with big cocks. "Guys getting ruined over massive dicks" this, "size kink supremacy” that. Like size is some kind of fucking contest. Like only a giant cock can break a sub.

Fuck that noise.

He’s never had anything in there before — no cock, no fingers, no toys — nothing but his own fingers fumbling, fingers too shy to go deeper. So when you slide that tiny little toy inside, barely three inches of semi-hard silicon, you watch his body fall apart.

His eyes go wide, breath catches, and then it’s all trembling limbs and whispered cries he can’t control.

He swears he can take it. Laughs it off like a joke — but it’s not.

You push it in just a little more.

His whole body jerks. His hips snap back like he’s trying to escape something, but he can’t. Not yet.

That little toy is a devil in disguise — meant to prep him, to train him for what’s really coming. But right now? He’s ruined. Sobbing soft little whimpers because he’s so fucking full of something he barely even registers as real.

He clenches around it like it’s ripping him in half, legs shaking so badly you’re sure he’s about to collapse.

“P-please, s-stop… I-I can’t—” he chokes out, voice trembling, barely a whisper. “I’m — i-it’s too — too much…”

And it’s not even three fucking inches inside him.

He’s already torn, stretched raw, dripping around you like he’s been wrecked by your actual size. The thought of a bigger dick? No fucking way. He’d be shredded, a bloody mess, broken beyond repair.

But here he is.

His little hole clenches tight, desperate to squeeze it out, but it’s no use. He’s ruined.

“J-just… slow… please…?” he begs, voice cracking. “I-I never… n-never had this b-before. It hurts — b-but I want it! I want you… I’m yours, p-please…”

Bullshit. You know he isn’t ready. That’s why you’re here.

You drag it out a fraction, then push it back in, slow and deliberate, watching his body betray him with every inch. The tight squeeze, the desperate gasp, the low sobs that start slipping out when you don’t give him a break.

He’s fragile. So fragile.

The toy isn’t even close to the size he’ll have to take later. But his inexperienced ass is already wrecked. Already trembling around something so tiny, so insignificant.

You grip his jaw, force his eyes to meet yours. “You wanna see how fucked you’ll be when the real thing slides in?”

His cheeks flush crimson. He can’t even nod, breath hitching so hard he’s nearly choking.

He’s ruined.

From a cheap sex toy less than three inches long.

You can’t wait to slide your actual dick in — it’ll tear him apart. Rip him open and break him in ways he can’t even imagine yet.

But for now, you have him like this. Clawed open and leaking sobs on your bed, begging you for mercy he doesn’t deserve.

Pathetic.

And delicious.

Venti, Xiao, Wanderer, Heizou, Gojo, Geto, Anaxa, Adventurine + your favs!

[firjii]

lads it is a FINE day for dysfunctioning about creative projects and I'm stuck in a loop of talking myself out of doing things despite having a fair chance to focus on that stuff for basically the rest of the week, is this perhaps a sign I need a nap first?

[bberry005]

shoutout star wars skeleton crew for creating the most middle school characters i have ever seen. like yeah those losers are some random prep school 12 year olds who don't know anything and all think they're right in pretty much any given situation. there's half a braincell and it's kb's but fern and wim pretend it's theirs and neel just does not want it anymore. they have an obvious, self appointed friend group leader (fern) but someone (wim) is always trying to contest that. they swing between petty drama and "i would die for you no questions asked" within seconds. in their minds there's no way in hell the adult knows anything but they still trust him. it brings me so much joy thank everything they are all just so Private School Twelve Year Old it makes it all so much better

[hotvintagepoll]

Congrats to the ultimate winner of the Hot & Vintage Movie Men Tournament, Mr. Toshiro Mifune! May he live happily and well where the sun always shines, enjoying the glories of a battle hard fought.

A loving farewell to all of our previous contestants, who are now banished to the shadow realm and all its dark joys and whispered horrors—I hear there's a picnic on the village green today. If you want to remember the fallen heroes, you can find them all beneath the cut.

What happens next? I'll be taking a break of two weeks to rest from this and prep for the Hot & Vintage Ladies Tournament. I'll still be around but only minimally, posting a few last odes to the hot men before transitioning into a little early ladies content, just like I did with this last tournament. The submission form for the Hot & Vintage Ladies tournament will remain up for one more week (closing February 21st), so get your submissions in for that asap! Once the form closes, there will be one more week of break. The first round of the Hot & Vintage Ladies Tournament will be posted on February 29th, as Leap Year Day seems like a fitting allusion to leaping into these ladies' arms.

Thanks for being here! Enjoy the two weeks off, and send me some great propaganda.

In order of the last round they survived—

ROUND ONE HOTTIES:

Richard Burton

Tony Curtis

Red Skelton

Keir Dullea

Jack Lemmon

Kirk Douglas

Marcello Mastroianni

Jean-Pierre Cassel

Robert Wagner

James Garner

James Coburn

Rex Harrison

George Chakiris

Dean Martin

Sean Connery

Tab Hunter

Howard Keel

James Mason

Steve McQueen

George Peppard

Elvis Presley

Rudolph Valentino

Joseph Schildkraut

Ray Milland

Claude Rains

John Wayne

William Holden

Douglas Fairbanks Sr.

Harold Lloyd

Charlie Chaplin

John Gilbert

Ramon Novarro

Slim Thompson

John Barrymore

Edward G. Robinson

William Powell

Leslie Howard

Peter Lawford

Mel Ferrer

Joseph Cotten

Keye Luke

Ivan Mosjoukine

Spencer Tracy

Felix Bressart

Ronald Reagan (here to be dunked on)

Peter Lorre

Bob Hope

Paul Muni

Cornel Wilde

John Garfield

Cantinflas

Henry Fonda

Robert Mitchum

Van Johnson

José Ferrer

Robert Preston

Jack Benny

Fredric March

Gene Autry

Alec Guinness

Fayard Nicholas

Ray Bolger

Orson Welles

Mickey Rooney

Glenn Ford

James Cagney

ROUND TWO SWOONERS:

Dick Van Dyke

James Edwards

Sammy Davis Jr.

Alain Delon

Peter O'Toole

Robert Redford

Charlton Heston

Cesar Romero

Noble Johnson

Lex Barker

David Niven

Robert Earl Jones

Turhan Bey

Bela Lugosi

Donald O'Connor

Carman Newsome

Oscar Micheaux

Benson Fong

Clint Eastwood

Sabu Dastagir

Rex Ingram

Burt Lancaster

Paul Newman

Montgomery Clift

Fred Astaire

Boris Karloff

Gilbert Roland

Peter Cushing

Frank Sinatra

Harold Nicholas

Guy Madison

Danny Kaye

John Carradine

Ricardo Montalbán

Bing Crosby

ROUND THREE SMOKESHOWS:

Marlon Brando

Anthony Perkins

Michael Redgrave

Gary Cooper

Conrad Veidt

Ronald Colman

Rock Hudson

Basil Rathbone

Laurence Olivier

Christopher Plummer

Johnny Weismuller

Clark Gable

Fernando Lamas

Errol Flynn

Tyrone Power

Humphrey Bogart

ROUND 4 STUNGUNS:

James Dean

Cary Grant

Gregory Peck

Sessue Hayakawa

Harry Belafonte

James Stewart

Gene Kelly

Peter Falk

QUARTERFINALIST VOLCANIC TOWERS OF LUST:

Jeremy Brett

Vincent Price

James Shigeta

Buster Keaton

SEMIFINALIST SUPERMEN:

Omar Sharif

Paul Robeson

FINALIST FANTASIES:

Sidney Poitier

Toshiro Mifune

and ok, sure, here's the shadow-bracket-style winner's portrait of Toshiro Mifune.

[secretidentie]

A rumor about Superman and batman dating starts making the rounds in the hero community and everyone goes crazy. Primarily, a group of heroes who don't approve of the relationship . Their reason? They don't approve of the relationship's "large power imbalance"

Some heroes don't think the imbalance is a big deal while others say it's the reason they can't support the relationship but regardless everyone thinks the imbalance is there and no one elaborates on what this power imbalance is because it seems so obvious to them. It's however not as obvious to Bruce and Clark.

Bruce: I do understand why people are concerned

Clark: Yeah but I would have thought people were over the fact I was an alien by now. I would never abuse that power

Bruce: .......Wait you think you're the one they're concerned about?

Clark: Well....yeah. Why else would everyone be making such a big deal

Bruce: well not only am I funding the league I also own The Daily Planet. Maybe they're scared I'm leveraging power over you

Clark: Bruce I literally have superpowers. No offense but they obviously mean me

Bruce : I have more contingencies for you then you could count and a larger hoard of kryptonite then Luther. They obviously mean me

Clark: I can move mountains and planets. I've fought the worst in the Galaxy. I'VE REVERSED TIME BEFORE, BRUCE . I'm pretty sure I could kill you easily (if I were to abuse my power which, you know, I wouldn't)

Bruce: No you couldn't. I'm batman

Clark: that's not a valid argument and you know it

Bruce: yes it is. I'm batman *Smoke bombs away*

This whole back and forth leads to the most annoying and petty dick-measuring contest you could imagine until a week later someone explains that everyone was concerned that two of the most powerful members of the league dating would make them overall much more powerful than anyone else in the league.

This whole thing is solved by batman giving a presentation on relationships in the workplace and how it will not affect how they work and a follow-up presentation on how he could totally beat superman in a fight if he had enough prep time.

Superman walks out soon after the second presentation starts and that sparks conversations of how a superbat break up would affect the league