#convo i had while fixing a table

[saltmalkin]

furniture

[hotdigitallegend]

astro observations that feel like dropping your phone on your face // neural downloads 🌬️

• aries can suprisingly be very monk-like, like i will not speak for three days but i will build a table without nails. they’re childlike but can be very wise. people get confused by this. the idea people have of them can make them feel smaller than they are. also this depends on where mercury is. if it’s in pisces, then they’re probably more on the silent side but with fantastical imaginations.

• pisces men are like that™ because the world bullies the softness out of them. deep down they want to do things like cry at sunset but then that becomes “get a job!!” they’re trying to merge with the divine but it translates as bad communication skills and spotify playlists.

• aquarius placements get their phone in hand, suddenly their brain goes into in orbit. they’re quite literally addicted to scrolling and watching. leo’s are also on their phone but mainly using the front camera or socializing. they just learned how to Shazam a song. and have like 7 apps.

• cardinal signs had a five year romance plan by the 10th grade. aries had an ideal type and didn’t budge until they found it. cancer was naming the kids first and foremost. capricorn scheduled the wedding. libra made a mood board for it, and an ideal traits note. they treat it like shopping.

• sag venus falls in love in 3 seconds and out in 2 - it’s like teleportation 🤣

• scorpio mercury says “i’m fine” with the same energy as a someone holding a loaded g*n. they’re lying!!

• gemini mars loves a verbal foreplay olympics. flirty texts, three side convos, and they love for you to guess what they meant.

• virgo risings idea of fun is fixing your life while ignoring their own mental breakdown. theyll load your dishwasher while trying not to cry

• taurus rising could sell you dirt and you’d be satisfied

• cancer mercury remembers everything especially that one thing you said in 2019 at brunch. and they forgave you…..or did they

• north node conjunct mercury means your destiny involves a lot of talking. like more than you probably want, but hey!!

• air signs fall in love after lurking on your google search history. earth signs love to see you working in your element. water signs want your birth time and for you to just…. sit on the ground with them. fire signs just want an unlimited pass to touch your face in public.

• sag moons/risings whole concept is basically i’m not avoiding my feelings i’m just traveling to a country where they can’t find me

• libra venus/moon flirt by asking deep questions and mirroring your exact personality. “do you like this?” **shifts entire identity to match**

[dcxdpdabbles]

Hi, sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if your planning on updating Congratulations! It's Triplets anytime soon? Because I kinda wanna see what happens once they actually sit down and talk through their misunderstandings because honestly although jazz is probably too busy to go through with it now she was training herself to be one of 2 courses in college which was either neurology or phycology so I figured she'd be the first to recognize that they need to have a sit down and talk with everything laid out or at least partially laid out, it being a really long really difficult conversion with tears trauma flashbacks and probably cake (because let's be honest this convo needs comfort food) and by the end of it they might not even fixed all the misunderstandings they had but it's a start in the right direction :)

"I'm sorry the kids threaten you. They can be a handful," is the first thing out of Jasmine's mouth. She is holding a glass tray with delicious-smelling lasagna, wearing a teal dress that hugs all her curves and seems dolled up for a night out.

She marches right by him, her long red hair falling into wavy curls down her back like waterfalls. They sway with her movement as she leads the way to the dining room.

On the table is a dinner set for two, red candles lit, and the lights dim. It makes him think of all those silly scenes in romance novels he consumed growing up. Jasmine places the tray in the center of the table alongside a salad. She carefully pours some bubbling water into two champagne glasses, humming.

Once done, she turns towards him, taking off the apron wrapped around her front. It reveals a nice but modest view of a split on her dress ending on the edge of her midleg.

"I told them to get you so we can have a dinner date. Bruce offered to babysit for the night." She proclaims, crossing her arms. "I want to see if there is a future for us or if the god of time is just an idiot."

Jason is so stunned by her beauty that he can't find any words to respond. He feels like she just pulled out a live fish and threw it at his face. While he's busy gawking like a fool, the three children squirm in his arms before he feels little hands fumbling around the edge of his helmet.

He jerks his neck away, a warning of bombs on his lips, only to bite his tongue when Dan bypasses his security to pull off the helmet with a laugh. At the same time, Dani reaches up to rip the mask off his face, fast and stiff enough that he swears she was a professional waxer in a past life.

He lets out a yowl, barely able to shift his words from a swear into a substitute. Danny pats his cheek, apologizing for his sibling's lack of manners. Dan doesn't seem to care because he scrambles off Jason's shoulders, head inside of the helmet that was too large for him, and races down the hallway.

"I'm unstoppable!" He screams in glee. Two seconds later, he rams into a wall, hitting it at full force due to the helmet blocking his view. He bounces off the drywall with enough force. He lands on his rear and a soft grunt.

Dani takes that chance to hop out of Jason's arms. She runs at a speed he's sure kids shouldn't be able to reach without having the Allen family gene, tackling Dan before his son can get up. In a tussle that looks too violent for five-year-olds, Dani rips the helmet out of Dan's hands and books it down the hallway, cackling like a loon.

"No! Dani! Give that back!" Dan demands, leaping to his feet and running after his sister. The voice modifiers of their outfits make them sound darker than usual, but it does not make them sound threatening.

Danny sighs heavily. "I better go stop them before that thing blows up. Treat my mom well, or I'll be forced to hurt you."

He patted Jason's cheek again, carefully climbing down to the ground. Despite his words, he calmly walks out of the room, hands tucked into his Prince of Gotham suit pants as if he were going on a casual stroll. The second he reaches the door, he grabs the handle and tugs to close.

Just as it's about to seal, he points two fingers toward his green glowing mask eyes and then points them aggressively at Jason. Once his warning is received, he finishes closing the door.

Jason is left standing in the room, confused out of his mind. It all happened so fast that he was unsure if the kids planned that exit or if they were honestly just like that. It burns to not be sure.

He should.

He is their father.

"Well, sit down. We have a date to get through." Jasmine commands, pushing some of her red hair out of her face. She levels an even calculating stare on him, making him feel she is more prepared for a business meeting than anything romantic. "Let's see what the god of time has in store for us."

[baronessvonglitter]

Daddy Can Fix It

handyman!Joel Miller x fem!plus size!Reader | wc: 5.4K

Summary: All the housewives in your neighborhood rave about the local handyman. And with very good reason.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Explicit. Reader is plus-size, wears dress and lingerie, has hair and body hair, and manicure. Reader's age not mentioned so there is only as much or as little of an age gap as you'd like. TW - fat shaming, food shaming, infidelity (by reader, and it's technically warranted) Pet names (daddy for Joel; sugar, darlin', baby, sweetheart for reader). Housewife/trad-wife vibes. Totally a bored housewife fantasy. Mention of female masturbation. Breast/nipple play, oral (f & m receiving). Fingering. Body worship. Pussy pronouns. Unprotected piv (Joel is snipped, but still.. this is fiction). Light spanking. Rough sex. Creampie. Joel's kind of a big ol' slut for the lonely housewives but is also really useful around the house, so you're definitely getting a good deal 🛠️

Author's note: it's been a hot minute since I've written a one-shot for Joel but it was impossible to resist. It all started because of this pic:

so yeah, Pinterest strikes again. How could I not write a Joel fic based on this? I hope y'all enjoy 💖

JOEL MILLER MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

"He can come clean my pipes anytime."

Raucous laughter erupts from the group of ladies huddled near the cupcakes at the latest book club meeting. You listen from the other side of the room where one of the older members is asking you to help her with her Kindle. "I never know how to keep up with all this fancy technology," Marion huffs, adjusting her bifocals.

You're trying to be patient with her, but the conversation across the room is far more intriguing. "It just needs to be charged. Your battery is low," you say three times before Marion can even hear you.

When you've managed to extricate yourself from her, you go up to the ladies and, with a friendly smile, join in. "I couldn't help overhearing."

Some of the women exchange glances, as if deciding to let you in on their convo or not. "Becky's just showing us that she got her kitchen cabinets redone," someone finally pipes up.

"That's not all she got," another starts to crack up.

You look at Becky's phone screen. The before and after shots of her cabinets are nothing short of miraculous. "That's great, Becky! I know you've been asking Gerald for a renovation for awhile," you tell her, hoping she'll be pleased you remember the plight she droned on about for weeks.

"It is great," she says, eyeing you with something like suspicion. "I have a very good handyman."

"He does everything," a nicer girl, Isabelle, chimes in.

"Boy does he," another mutters, hiding her smirk behind her cup of lemonade while the others giggle behind their hands.

Amirah adds, "He varnished my dining room table, power washed my driveway, helped organize my garage," she counts on her fingers. "He's good for little things around the house, and his prices are decent."

"It's like he's just giving it away," Becky says with a smirk and this gets the group laughing again.

"Maybe you can give me his information later," you say politely. "I have a laundry list of things that I need help with now that Wesley's working so much overtime."

The women eye one another, and it's Amirah, the leader of the group, who gives the definite nod. "Of course, sweetie. After the meeting."

"Great!" Smiling, you try to make your way through the group, saliva pooling in your mouth at the tower of red velvet cupcakes on the table spread. You reach for a couple more.

"You've already had three," Becky reminds you, casting a not-so-subtle glance at your body. Her voice sweet as honey but her words carry poison. You know you're not as thin or as glamorous as the other women in this room. You dress the same as them, wear your hair perfectly coiffed and your nails are always manicured, but just because you're not a size zero they deem you unworthy to truly be one of them.

You hold your head high with what little courage you have in the face of Becky's bitchiness, your sinful little cupcake in your hand. "I actually had three. And right now I'm about to make it five," you say sweetly, licking a swipe of cream cheese icing before putting two cupcakes on a china plate and going back to your seat.

That night, Wesley doesn't ask about your book club. He doesn't ask how your day was. He doesn't do much except pour himself a drink when he gets home and sit in front of the TV to watch the news.

You're dressed for bed, a modest robe over a red silk babydoll chemise, a purchase you'd made on a whim in the hopes that you could spice up your sex life with him which, truth be told, has never been more than lukewarm from the start.

"Do you think we should.. go to bed?" you suggest, a naughty tone to your whisper.

"It's early," he grunts, barely giving you a glance.

"I just thought we could spend some time together.." you brush your hand across his knee but he impatiently swipes it away.

"Please, darling, it's a weeknight," he looks at you as if you'd just suggested a threesome with him and the milk man. As he leaves the room he looks back at you, but the hope that rises in your chest is soon shattered when he shakes his head upon seeing your lingerie. "Red is for streetwalkers," he tells you before he goes into his study.

Daddy Can Fix It

You run your finger over the business card Amirah gave you, with all the handy man's information. The card shows his white company van with the logo emblazoned on the side: Joel Miller, Handyman At Your Service so it says in black lettering. There's a phone number and a website as well.

You dial the number, expecting to hear a secretary's voice, but you're greeted with a rich, baritone "Good mornin', thanks for callin' Daddy, what can I fix for ya today?"

Jesus, the voice alone is enough to get you flustered. And Daddy? You weren't expecting that. "Um, hi, I got your number through a friend and I'd like to see if you're available to come mow the lawn today." You peek out your curtains, seeing how the grass has grown taller than you'd like since the last time Wesley has cared enough to cut it.

"You got a lawn mower, sugar?"

"Yes, I do, um.. daddy.."

You hear him chuckle on the other end of the line. "You can call me Joel."

"Joel. Yes, I do. Is there anything else you'll need?" New to the housewife lifestyle, you're still unsure of how to make such appointments. Before you met and married Wesley, you just mowed the lawn yourself, but your husband refuses to hear of his good and proper wife performing a menial act.

"Got any bushes that need trimmin'?"

You aren't sure why that particular sentence makes you feel the blood rush to your face. "I typically keep up with it on my own, when I'm tending to my garden."

Joel gives a small chuckle and it warms your insides. "That ain't no problem. Today around eleven good for ya?"

"Eleven sounds perfect."

"Pricing'll be about fifty, but we can come to an agreement once the job is done."

"Wonderful. I look forward to seeing you." You give him your name and address, hanging up with a sense of accomplishment.

His van appears in your driveway just a minute before eleven. You're impressed with his timeliness. What you don't expect is the gorgeous stranger on your doorstep.

Joel Miller is tall, broad-shouldered, skin bronze from working out in the sun, and his dark brown hair is greying handsomely. If you had to guess his age you'd say fifties. He's in a grey tee shirt and work jeans. What stand out to you the most are his eyes: almost black in color, appraising you as you wait in the doorway, prim and proper housewife, lips parted, eyes wide.

He asks for you by name and you nod, chuckling slightly.

"If you can show me where the lawn mower is I'd be happy to get started," he offers, and the voice you recognize from the phone makes you melt.

You lead him outside to the garage and he takes out the mower, filling it up with some gasoline first. "Is there anything else you need?" you ask politely.

"No ma'am," he looks over his shoulder at you as he pushes the machine to the front yard. "Get inside and get outta this sun. I'll handle it from here," he smiles and it makes you want to giggle like a schoolgirl.

From inside you watch him through the window, deftly maneuvering the lawn mower over, trimming the grass to a neat, short length. It's not yet the hottest hour of the day, but you see him sweating, and when he stops a moment to remove his shirt, you suddenly feel your pulse in the deepest part of your cunt. You wonder what it would be like to lick up every drop of sweat off his chest.

Like a slow motion scene from a movie, you watch the motion of his arms, the rippling of his back as he guides the machine over the lawn. Biting your lip you take in the sight of him, the determination on his face redirecting your thoughts to how he would look above you: hot, sweaty, hard, plunging into your drenched pussy.

How long has it been since you've had a man? Wesley prefers his Saturday nights like clockwork. But you want more. Stupidly thinking marriage was the best way to be treated right and fucked properly, you realized it was not the title but the man, and the particular man you chose was lacking in all area which mattered.

You aren't even sure you love him anymore.

But right now, watching Joel is a treat, and fantasizing about him is a little secret you'll harbor for later in the day when you'll inevitably find yourself using the showerhead attachment.

He finishes the front and back yards, and through the blinds you peep him putting his shirt back on, running a hand through his wavy curls before putting the mower away and coming to your door.

You answer it before he knocks. "Thank you!" is the first thing that comes out of your mouth. "Please come in and we can settle payment."

He cleans the bottoms of his boots on the welcome mat before stepping inside your home and following you to the kitchen. "You have a very nice home, ma'am."

"You're too kind," you're modest about his compliment, but it's thrilling to have someone say something nice about the hard work you put into keeping house. "Would you care for some iced tea? I've just made it fresh."

"I won't say no to that," he chuckles lightly, and you're happy to fill a glass with some of the fresh-brewed tea over ice.

Joel leans back against the sink, pouty pink lips pressed to the glass as he tips it back, opening just enough to take a sweet sip. You watch his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows, and you wish you could lick a stripe up along his the length of his delicious-looking neck to collect all the sweat that's beaded there.

"Is there anythin' else you need help with today?" he asks, his question carrying a hint of something more.

You blank for a moment, getting lost in the depth of his obsidian eyes, still caught up in your little fantasy. "No.. no, I don't think so." Taking a look around your eyes dart to every corner, taking mental stock of the upstairs rooms as well. "No," you finalize with a smile.

"If you're sure.." he says in that same low tone.

You give him fifty dollars and chat a little while he finishes his drink.

"If there's nothin' else I'll get goin'. Feel free to call me again if you need somethin' done, or looked at. Ain't nothin' I can't fix," he winks at you on your doorstep and you feel a waterfall in your panties.

Isabelle calls later in the day. "So? You had Joel over today, right? How'd it go?"

Dinner is in the oven and there's about an hour before your husband gets home. Phone on speaker, you start peeling potatoes. "It was fine. He did a great job. I'm sure I'll use him again."

Over the line you hear Isabelle sigh. "Isn't his dick beautiful? I swear, just thinking about it gets me so wet!"

You nearly slice a finger off, shocked by her words. Even though you're alone in the house, you pick up the phone and take it off speaker. "What are you talking about?"

"I think it's at least eight inches, and the way it curves at the end," Isabelle sounds like she's moaning.

"Okay, I'm lost. I hired the handyman that you and the others referred. That's who came over today."

"Exactly, dear! Did he fuck you? You don't have to give details of course."

Your brain is put on pause as only silence fills your throat.

"Oh dear," Isabelle continues. "You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

She sighs, possibly settling herself on her chaise longue out by her pool she's so proud of. "Joel Miller is a handyman, yes. But we also pay him a little extra for other services."

"Oh." You sink onto the living room settee, the closest thing to you.

"Mm-hmm. Mind you, it's not an all-the-time thing. But we've all had him. It's just something fun. You get some help around the house with your honey-do list, and then a good fucking after. Or whatever pleases you."

"And you.. you've.. slept with him?"

"I wouldn't call it sleeping, honey, but yeah I've been with him. It's all for fun. Nobody really takes it seriously."

"And everyone else at the book club?"

"Pretty much. Do you really think any of our husbands could compare to that god of a man Joel Miller?"

No, no you doubt any man could hold up to the stud who'd just helped you with the lawn.

He's on your mind constantly, but as tightly as Wesley keeps his wallet to himself, you can't validate having Joel's help every day. You make the choice to wait until the following week.

And what a long wait it is. Jealously you wonder whose house he's going to. Jackie down the street? Bitchy Becky with her face like a rat, no tits and no ass?

You consider calling Isabelle to beg for the details (which she'll probably give you without a fuss anyway). But a sordid part of you wants to find out for yourself. You already know he's well-endowed. He's at least twice as big as Wesley, who wouldn't know what to do with a big cock if he was blessed with one overnight.

A week to the day since he made his last visit, Joel comes back to replace the batteries in your smoke alarms. It's a job you've done yourself, perching on a stepladder, but it'll be more fun to have Daddy fix it.

The phone call to schedule him was practically foreplay. That smooth-as-chocolate voice had your panties drenched. When he's finally here, inside your home, inside your needy little cunt.

Your eyes rove over his form as he uses your stepladder, only needing the first rung. It doesn't stop you from staying right there with him, holding it steady on the other side. You hear his little grunts as he gets to work, watch his thick, strong fingers handle the batteries with a delicacy you can imagine he uses in other things.

Licking your lips, you realize you're face-to-face with the faded blue denim crotch of his jeans, those Levis hugging him tight in all the right places.

"I'm 'bout done here," he says, putting the smoke detector back in its place. "Anythin' else you need help with, lil' darlin'?"

Your hand presses to the bulge in his jeans, and you're delighted when you feel him twitch in response. "As a matter of fact, I do need your help with something else.."

"That right?" he murmurs, pressing your hand against him, letting you feel him grow hard under his palm. "Been waitin' to see if you'd ask.."

He steps down, keeps his dark eyes on you. "Pretty lil' thing like yourself don't get enough attention, huh?" he whispers, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

Softly you sigh, unashamed at how needy you've been for a simple touch. "No.. but I'd like you to help with that."

"That's what I'm here for, darlin'," he smiles, his thumb tracing your soft plump lips. "What do you want me to do, baby?"

"Everything," you answer quickly. "I'm not.. really sure what the usual is.."

His smile is kind as his hand traces down your neck, leaving goosebumps to rise on your skin. "You want me to fuck ya, give ya somethin' nobody else is doin'.. that it?" He places your hand back on his bulge and you respond by rubbing him, your own cunt pulsing around nothing in excited expectation.

"Yes.. I need to get fucked," you agree emphatically, pulling him into your bedroom.

Now he's here, in your room, and you think you're dreaming. He's letting you take the lead, completely at your service. All the women in your book club were probably more open with their desires, knowing immediately what they wanted and how to get it. All the fantasies about Joel you've created and harbored in the deepest part of your heart are now as impalpable as gossamer.

"You tell me what you want, honey," he drawls in that molasses-rich voice of his. His hands gently trace your waist, smoothing down your dress as he moves towards your curvaceous hips. "God damn, I bet you look fuckin' gorgeous outta this dress. Wanna show me?"

Biting your lip, you nod, tugging off your apron and dropping it to the floor. Not gonna be a damn housewife while he's with me..

A tiny smirk on your face, you gently push Joel back onto your bed, and he rights himself with an equally mischievous smile as he watches you. He palms his hard cock through his jeans as you do a little striptease, tantalizing him as you slip your prim flower-print dress off your shoulders.

"There we go, baby," he growls as the dress falls down to your hips, your scarlet satin bra revealed, your breasts practically spilling over the cups, making Joel's mouth water. You turn around for his help in unzipping the bottom part of your dress, finally feeling free as it falls away, pooling at your feet.

Joel lets out a wolf whistle as he takes in the sight of you in your ruby undergarments, the same you'd tried to seduce your husband in. Now they're finally being put to good use. "Red's your color, gorgeous," he mutters, his hands on your hips, mapping out your generous curves and the soft rolls of your belly.

You've almost forgotten what it was like, this power to entrance a man and make him see you as the only woman in the world. Marriage to an uncaring and unfeeling idiot had left you cut off from your sexuality. Now you're reclaiming it.

Joel's hands travel back up to your waist, fingers deftly unclasping your bra. He unwraps you like you're the goddamn Christmas gift he's been begging for for months. His tongue wets his lips as your plump breasts are revealed. With one hand on your lower back, the other palms your tit with a rough hand. Your nipple rises to his touch and he dips down to swirl his tongue around it, gently coaxing it further with his teeth. Your head falls back as the sensation zings straight to your cunt. "Fuck, Joel.."

He smiles against the softness of your skin. "Sensitive here, huh? Bet these ain't been properly played with in awhile. Gonna change that right now." And with that he gives another hard suck, his dick already leaking when he hears your needy moan. He treats the other breast with the same attention. You take one of his hands and lead it to the drenched front side of your panties, but he stops you.

"Not yet, baby. Want you to see yourself before I fuckin' ruin ya."

You lay on your side on the bed as you watch Joel undress. It's a sight you won't soon forget: skin tan from working outdoors, with a smattering of chest hair that's also showing some grey, chiseled arms, and a happy trail that leads from his navel to the front of his boxers, which are tented. He wears a little smirk as he pulls them off and your reaction is priceless.

Joel is fucking hung.

You've taken big cocks before, but his is formed of pure fantasy, like a dildo from your favorite sex shop. Isabelle wasn't exaggerating about his size. And his cock is so beautiful you want to cry. Watching as he gives it a couple strokes, all eight thick uncut inches, the rosy pink tip glistens with precum, the veins and ridges prominent. Even the curve Isabelle mentioned is sexy, bound to hit all the right places inside you. His balls, rounded and heavy, move with his motions.

Thank God I did my yoga this week.

You beckon him to you, pulling the boxers away completely and dipping your head to taste him. Your tongue laves across the salty slit of his tip, and you relish the hitch of his breath. He's not here for you to please him, but it gets you wet wrapping your lips around his cock, suctioning your mouth and stroking upward from his base. When you start to massage his balls he stops you. "Don't wanna shoot too soon, baby," he says breathlessly.

He pulls you up off the bed and into a kiss, his hands playing along the edges of your panties as his tongue tastes yours. His cock, still wet from your mouth, nudges against your soft belly. "You deserve to feel good," he whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his tongue tracing the outline. At last he pulls your panties down, a rumble in his throat when he sees the sweet glaze between your thighs, glistening in your triangle of hair.

"Sit on my lap, baby. With your back to me," he orders in a soft growl.

His flesh is warm beneath yours, and god it feels good just to be touched again, to feel desired by someone. You haven't known it in so long. He sits back against the headboard, moving the pillows on either side. His arm instinctively wraps around your waist as he leaves soft, feathery kisses across your shoulder.

"So soft," he murmurs. "C'mon, baby, look at yourself," he nods to the mirror in front of you.

When you catch your reflection you're exhilarated at the sight: you, naked, with Joel behind you, kissing your neck, fondling your tits, thumb brushing over them and lightly pinching them to hardened peaks. "Spread your legs for me, baby," he whispers, getting started by brushing his hand from your knee to your petal-soft inner thigh.

It's lascivious, watching all this unfurl before you in the mirror. You're spread open, on full display. Your pussy is gushing over with need, and you trace your folds with your fingers.

Behind you, Joel's cock twitches, and he rubs himself lightly against your back. "Lemme do that.." he whispers, gently pulling your hand away, bringing your fingers to his mouth and sucking your juice off them. "So sweet," he murmurs, and your belly is hot with lust.

His touch is soft and careful at first, exploring you and figuring out what you like, what you need. It feels like he's memorizing every inch of you. His thick fingers glide over your lips, circling, teasing you so you'll beg him for more.

"Joel," you whine, lifting yourself to him, trying to get his hand to position itself where you need it most. But he evades you, a dark chuckle emanating from deep in his throat. "You're payin' me to do a job and I wanna do it right. Not fair to rush me."

Your eyes close in frustration. "Joel, please.."

"Nuh-uh. Daddy."

"Fuck," you whimper. "Please, daddy."

"That's more like it." His touch finds your clit, throbbing and needy, and you nearly see stars at the feeling. He presses once again before sliding two fingers into your warm, welcoming cunt. "Christ, she's really suckin' me in there," he grunts, shifting behind you as his dick becomes nearly impossible to ignore.

"Yes," you moan at the sweet intrusion, the easy glide of his fingers in your drenched pussy. "Just like that."

"So fuckin' tight," he says through gritted teeth. And Jesus, his fingers are thick, the calloused thumb swiping over your clit, making you twitch and your hips arch up for more. "She's pulsin' around me," he mutters, his rich voice in your ear, lips brushing against your lobe. His fingers glide in, stretching you as you coat him.

"Ah, she's gettin' all creamy for me," he coos as he pulls them out a moment, licking off one finger and giving the other to you. You taste yourself, salty and sweet, humming in appreciation as you release his digit from your mouth with a pop.

He returns to his work, his hand pistoning against your folds, the squishy sounds of your soaked cunt beautifully obscene to your ears. Your voice trembles as you cry out, a sweet vibrato that resounds throughout the room as Joel's fingers curl in on your g-spot. He adds a bit more pressure to your clit as he tries to get you there. Moaning, he nuzzles his face into your neck.

It feels like you break open under his touch, hips arching up, swallowing his delving fingers deeper inside you as you spasm uncontrollably around him, a string of curses falling from your lips.

You barely have time to recover before he's on you again, moving in front of you as you lay against the pillows, like Venus in a Titian painting. His hands lift your thighs, softly kneading their thickness as he plants kisses on either side, trailing up to your cunt, your scent all around him.

"My husband never goes down on me," you whisper, heart racing as quick as a hummingbird's wings.

"Ain't he a waste of fuckin' space," Joel grunts, a wicked gleam in his eye as he dives in, flattening his tongue to lick a stripe upwards to your needy, throbbing clit. Your hands grab at his hair, pushing him forward as his groan is muffled by your sweet, saturated pussy.

"God.. damn!" you gasp at the delicious feeling of his tongue on you, lapping up every drop, tracing your lips and tickling your clit. He's relentless in his pursuit of making you come, switching up the tempo, adding a finger and then another, praising you when you cry out again. "Squeezin' so hard on me.. she's just about ready, ain't she?" Before he finally suctions his lips around your puffy clit and sucks, humming around it.

It's as if your soul leaves your body for a precious few moments, muttering monosyllables in sweet relief. You've never come so hard before, ever. And when you look up at Joel you wish you could worship him.

"Like the sweetest tea I ever drank," he says, licking his lips.

"Fuck me, Joel," you whine, still not fully come down from your climax.

"C'mere," he growls, putting you on all fours so you're facing the mirror again. You look at your reflection: hair mussed, eyes shining bright, skin glowing from your orgasm. Joel lines himself up behind you, smiling as you watch yourself. "Got every right to look at yourself, darlin'.. someone as fuckin' hot as you, with these hips, this ass?" He grabs one cheek and gives it a slap. You gasp, jolting forward, then wiggle your ass at him, wanting more.

"You a naughty lil' thing," Joel smirks, teasing your folds with his tip. "Wanna get this pretty lil' pussy ruined?"

"Yes, daddy," you moan, pushing back on him.

"Fuck me, I like the way you say that." He bites his lip as he continues teasing you. "Once I fuck you, you'll never let that limp dick husband of yours touch you ever again, I promise you that."

Your reply is cut off when you feel him nudge inside, your walls breached by his thick cock. "Oh god... yes!" you exclaim, clutching the bedsheets. "Fuck.. your cock is so huge.." You can feel the tip just kissing your cervix.

"Yeah, you like it? Like gettin' fucked by this big cock? Gettin' stretched out? Gonna leave a big ol' gapin' hole for your husband to come home to."

He bottoms out, grabbing your ass cheeks with both big hands, watching the smoothness of your skin as your cunt clenches onto him. "God damn what a pretty sight.. you oughta see this. Pussy's barely fittin' me as it is. Only tighter thing would be your little ass.." and he pulls out all the way to slam back in, glorying in the way you scream his name.

"There she goes, gotta get 'er used to me," he grunts, eyes on your swollen pussy lips wrapping his cock in a vise with each steady thrust. "Jesus, sweetheart. So tight I gotta try not to blow my load."

The sound of his name on your lips, the way your body reacts to him, is like gasoline on an already raging fire. "That's it, sweetheart," he murmurs, his voice thick with lust. "Say my name, baby. I wanna hear it." He quickens the pace, pressing deeper inside you.

"Daddy! Daddy!" you shout in time with each delicious snap of his hips. "My god, you're so fucking deep.." you moan.

"That's it, take all of me. You like the way I fill you?"

"Yes daddy!" Your fingers clutch the sheets as the bed rocks with your movements. "So full of you.."

He presses a hand to your abdomen. "Feel me there, baby? All up in your guts. No one else is ever gonna fill you the way I do. No one's ever gonna come close. This needy lil' cunt's gonna be cryin' for me every day until I come back and give her what she needs."

His dirty talk is getting you wetter, your juices running down between your thighs, making his cock all sloppy, the sound of it making you feral for more. "Fuck me, Joel.. fuck me fuck me fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme.." you mumble, face down, ass up, slack jawed as you drool on the sheets.

He speeds up, hips slamming against yours, balls thwacking under you. "Yeah? Want me to fill ya up, blow all this fuckin' load inside ya? Got snipped years ago, baby, 's up to you."

"Fill me up, make me dirty and messy," you groan.

"You want daddy to give you everything he's got, baby?" he repeats. "You want me to fill you til you're all messy and drippin' with me?"

"Yes.. yes please," you're barely able to get out.

"Fuck," he growls, grabbing hold of your hips as he pounds into you ferociously. Once he has control he places one hand on your back, keeping you pressed down as he angles himself to hit that delicious little spot inside and he knows he's hit it when you cry out, cursing and shivering, clamping down on him like a damn vise right before he lets go, streaming jet after jet of his hot come inside you. There's so much it's already leaking out while he's still inside you.

The rest of the week you make a list of things for Joel to do next time: perhaps check out what's going on with the washing machine, or maybe he could regrout your bathroom, or help you rearrange your living room furniture right before he rearranges your guts again.

Even Wesley notices the bright and cheery mood you're in, and how attractive you've become since taking on some of the home improvements. That weekend he does you a huge favor, and sits back in his armchair as he waits for you to discover it.

"Wesley? What were you doing in the garage for so long? I heard a lot of noise," you tell him, arms crossed, a look of suspicion on your face.

He looks pleased with himself. "Well honey, you've been so agreeable these past few days that I thought I'd cross off some little projects on your to-do list."

"Like what?" you ask slowly.

He lists off everything you've had planned for Joel to do in the coming weeks. Small things, of course, but Wesley has done all of them, leaving you with nothing for daddy to fix.

"I thought you'd be happy," he says, his face cloudy now that you're unhappy again.

"Happy? Not quite." You leave a moment and return with a hammer, heading towards your husband.

He cowers, ducking as you completely pass him by and swing the hammer into the drywall of the living room wall, over and over again. When you've let your anger out and Wesley is rightfully afraid of your next move, you simply smile sweetly, holding the hammer pressed to your apron with your well-manicured hands. "Looks like I'll have to call the handyman after all!"

dividers by @thecutestgrotto 👑

tagging those who showed interest when this baby was still just a wip: @itwasntimethatdidit40 @milla-frenchy @604to647 @inept-the-magnificent @clawdeewritesfanfic @manuymesut @bitccchmood @everybodylovedcontractors

[astro-stars]

First years convos (2)

The potions classroom buzzed with activity as students measured, stirred, and poured ingredients into their bubbling cauldrons. At one corner of the room, Yuu, Ace, Deuce, and Grim had claimed a station, their cauldron hissing and steaming in a way that didn’t inspire confidence.

“Alright, what’s next on the instructions?” Yuu asked, glancing at the tattered potion recipe book.

Ace leaned over, squinting at the page. “It says to add three drops of moonflower extract. No more, no less.”

Grim, perched on the table, snorted. “Three drops? Sounds easy enough for me, the Great Grim!” He grabbed the bottle, tipping it precariously.

“No, wait—” Yuu began, but it was too late. A cascade of moonflower extract splashed into the cauldron.

The potion turned a vivid shade of green and began to bubble violently.

“Grim!” Deuce exclaimed, scrambling back. “You’re going to blow us up!”

“Relax,” Ace said, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s fine. Just stir it or something.”

Yuu grabbed the stirring rod, frantically mixing the potion in an attempt to stabilize it. “You’re not supposed to guess, Ace! Potions are precise!”

“Oh, come on,” Ace said, smirking. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

The cauldron hissed ominously.

“Uh, guys,” Deuce said nervously, pointing at the recipe. “It says if you add too much moonflower extract, it’ll turn into a sleeping gas.”

“Sleeping gas?!” Grim yelped, scrambling to hide behind Yuu. “Fix it! Fix it!”

Yuu flipped through the recipe book desperately. “Okay, okay! It says we can neutralize it with powdered phoenix feather.”

Ace rummaged through their supplies, pulling out a small jar. “Got it! How much?”

“A pinch,” Yuu said, holding her breath.

“A big pinch or a little pinch?” Ace asked, holding the jar over the cauldron.

“A normal pinch!” Yuu snapped.

Ace shrugged and tossed in what he deemed a “normal” pinch. The potion fizzled, its violent bubbling subsiding into a gentle simmer. The group collectively exhaled in relief.

“See?” Ace said, grinning. “Told you it’d be fine.”

“Fine?!” Deuce said, his voice rising. “We almost knocked the whole class out!”

“But we didn’t,” Ace countered, leaning back smugly. “And that’s what matters.”

“You’re impossible,” Yuu muttered, shaking her head as she returned to the recipe.

Grim, meanwhile, peered into the cauldron. “It’s still green. Is it supposed to look like swamp water?”

Deuce flipped the page and paled. “It says it should be blue by now.”

“Blue?” Yuu repeated, glancing between the cauldron and the book. “What did we miss?”

“Not my fault,” Grim said immediately, crossing his arms.

“It’s totally your fault,” Ace said, pointing an accusatory finger at the cat-like creature.

“Let’s just add the next ingredient and hope it works,” Yuu said, cutting off the argument. “What’s next, Deuce?”

“Uh… three crushed valerian roots,” Deuce read aloud.

Ace grabbed the roots. “Alright, watch and learn, amateurs.” He crushed them dramatically in his hands before tossing them in.

The potion turned a murky gray and began to emit a faint, sugary smell.

“That… doesn’t seem right,” Yuu said cautiously.

“It smells kinda good, though,” Grim said, sniffing the air.

“Don’t even think about it,” Yuu warned, catching the gleam in his eyes.

“It says here that if the potion turns gray, we have to dilute it with two cups of distilled water,” Deuce said, pointing at the book.

Yuu grabbed the pitcher of distilled water. “Alright, I’ll pour while someone stirs. Ace, you’re up.”

“Why me?” Ace protested, but he picked up the stirring rod anyway.

As Yuu carefully poured the water, Ace stirred the mixture with exaggerated motions. “Look at me, the world’s greatest potion stirrer,” he declared.

“Less talking, more stirring,” Yuu said, rolling her eyes.

The potion’s color lightened to a pale blue, and the sugary smell dissipated.

“I think it’s working,” Deuce said, sounding hopeful.

Grim peered over the edge of the cauldron. “Still looks like soup to me.”

“One more step,” Yuu said, scanning the instructions. “Add powdered starfruit seeds, then simmer for five minutes.”

“Powdered starfruit seeds? Where are those?” Ace asked, rummaging through their supplies.

Grim spotted a small jar labeled “Starfruit Seeds” and snatched it up. “Here it is! Leave it to me!”

“Grim, no!” Yuu shouted as he tipped half the jar into the cauldron.

The potion began to bubble furiously, glowing with an unsettling light.

“Stir, stir, stir!” Deuce yelled, grabbing the rod from Ace and frantically mixing.

“What did you do?!” Yuu demanded, gripping the edges of the table.

“I improved it!” Grim said defensively, leaping back as the cauldron hissed.

The glow subsided, and the potion settled into a bright cerulean color, sparkling faintly. The group exchanged wary glances.

“It… actually looks kinda cool,” Ace admitted.

“Let’s bottle it and hope for the best,” Yuu said, carefully ladling the potion into a flask.

When Professor Crewel approached their station, he raised an eyebrow at the flask. “And what, exactly, is this supposed to be?”

“A masterpiece,” Ace said with a grin.

Crewel sniffed the flask, his expression unreadable. Finally, he said, “It’s passable. Barely. Next time, follow the instructions more closely.”

As he walked away, the group slumped in relief.

“Passable is a win,” Deuce said, grinning.

“Teamwork makes the dream work,” Ace said, holding up a hand for a high-five.

Yuu swatted his hand away, laughing. “Let’s just agree never to let Grim measure anything again.”

“Hey!” Grim protested, but his indignant huff was drowned out by their laughter as they cleaned up their chaotic workstation.

TAGLIST: @soramcduckahyucky @lunasmisosoup

DIVIDER: me!!

[harrywavycurly]

Boyfriend Harry chats? Miss him a bit 💕

Hiii lovey!! I miss boyfriend Harry a bit as well so I hope you enjoy these convos with him! I did it a bit different this time as all these convos go along with each other, I thought that would be fun! 💖

-find all things Boyfriend Harry here✨

A/N: You and Harry are on a little getaway and these are some convos you two have one day during it, enjoy✨

“Don’t even say it.” “I wasn’t going to say anything love…” “Really? Then what’s with the face?” “What face? This is just how I look?” “Mhhmm…you know I can’t sleep without him Harry so I don’t know why you look all shocked he’s here.” “I’m not shocked he’s here love I’m…just shocked at how you threw him on the bed…you yell at me when I toss him about at home.” “I did not throw him on the bed I gently-” “gently? Baby there was nothing gentle about how you threw that bear.” “That bear?” “Forgive me…there was nothing gentle about how you threw Teddy Snuggles on this bed…look at him he’s face down in the pillows…he can’t even breathe properly because of how you just threw him on here.” “Well then fix him Harry don’t just stand there and let him struggle.” “Oh I’m allowed to touch him now am I?” “You’ve always been allowed to touch him but you’re just rough with him because you get jealous I like to snuggle with him.” “I do not get jealous of Teddy.” “Harry…” “I….well..I don’t get jealous of him anymore.”

“Baby why is all your jewelry in a…sunglasses case?” “I was in a hurry.” “In a hurry? We had this trip planned for a month.” “Yeah but I was in a hurry when I was packing…and I couldn’t find my jewelry case so..I just went with what I could find.” “And what you could find was a…Gucci sunglasses case?” “Yes…while you’re snooping around my stuff can you hand me my silver hoop earring please?” “Sure love…should we maybe get you a jewelry case while we are here? This…this is just going to be a tangled mess by the time we leave.” “You just like buying me things don’t you?” “That and this just really bothers me…I can’t have you using a sunglasses case to hold your jewelry.”

“Put that eyebrow away Harry.” “What?” “You know what.” “I just..he’s staring at you.” “Maybe he’s staring at you? You’re the one dressed like you’re on a red carpet and not just a little dinner date with your girlfriend.” “No I watched him look at you…and every dinner date with you is an event so I like to dress up for you love.” “I appreciate it…but really put the eyebrow away or I won’t be able to focus on eating my pasta and you know how much I love pasta.” “Maybe that’s my whole goal?…trying to distract you so you can’t focus on anything but me?” “God you’re such a narcissist…but at least let me get a few bites in before you really try to distract me.” “Okay I’ll give you a few moments of peace but really did you not notice him staring at you?” “No…I kinda only noticed my incredibly hot boyfriend…and-” “and your bowl of pasta?” “Exactly…talk about a dream combination.” “Yeah? Me and pasta huh? That’s what you dream about?” “Oh yeah…wanna hear one of my wildest fantasies?” “Is it me feeding you pasta in bed?” “How’d you know?” “Just a lucky guess…wanna hear one of mine?” “I do but…I’m pretty sure it’s not dinner table appropriate so let’s save it for our post dinner walk around the resort yeah?” “You know me too well…I love you..have I told you that today?” “Only like five times so feel free to say it a few more…I love you too though incase you didn’t know.”

“Why are hotel beds so comfy? Is it some sort of special cushioning in the mattresses?” “Oh love…I absolutely adore the random things that come to your mind before you go to sleep.” “I’m serious…I bet if we bought this mattress and took it home the moment it got into the house it wouldn’t feel the same…it’s like it only will feel all comfy and squishy while inside a hotel room.” “Do you want to test that theory?” “No…well..no that would be silly.” “We’ve done sillier things haven’t we?” “Who is we? Because if you’re referring to the time you bought that insanely expensive rug from that hotel in Italy to see if it would make you feel like you were on holiday while back in New York-” “excuse me? You’re the one who told me to buy it.” “No I said it was a pretty rug..no where in that sentence did I say buy it.” “Baby you literally were in the tub going oh I’m gonna miss this soft rug it feels so nice on my feet…it’s so pretty…Harry can we buy one like this?” “One like this…that doesn’t mean go down to the lobby and demand them to sell you the one from our room.” “I was four glasses of red wine in and you know you can’t talk to me about buying things when I’m that far gone…besides it does make me think back to that holiday every time I see it..also I didn’t demand them to sell it to me I asked very nicely.” “Right yes…you pretty much told them you were taking the rug so they could just charge you whatever they wanted.” “And they did…bit overpriced I think but it’s worth it because you like it.” “We aren’t buying the mattress Harry.” “If you say so…” “where would we even put it?” “In a guest bedroom?” “How would we get it home?” “Ship it?” “Harry…” “I’m not gonna buy it…I might see what brand it is and buy one that hasn’t been used by a few hundred people though…would that still work to test your theory of it only being comfy in a hotel room?” “I think so.” “Right then…” “what are you doing? Where are-” “Looking for a tag…don’t they usually have-ah ha found it.” “This takes the cake for oddest thing we have ever done after sex.” “Really? What about that time when all you wanted after was a fucking fruit cup and it was bloody three in the morning and I didn’t have any pineapple and you started crying-” “I didn’t cry you asshole I was just upset because what’s a fruit cup without pineapple?” “Anyway…so I had to go out and find a damn pineapple at three in the morning.” “I mean it was in New York so…it didn’t take you very long since the little shop on the corner was open…don’t make it sound so dramatic.” “You’re lucky I love you so much…no one else in the whole world I’d go searching for a pineapple at three in the morning for after having mind blowing sex.” “Ah well maybe it was the mind blowing sex that made you want to make me happy and go get me a pineapple? So I’d want to keep you around?” “Maybe….it did seem to work since you’re still here.” “It did..I love you..now come cuddle me before I kick you out for good and give all my love to Teddy.”

[sea-of-dust]

Unexpected Affection

Kafka, Stelle,Blade x GN!Reader

Summary: They never really showed this level of affection before...

Notes: 🗿 just gonna cram this in so those two people that unfollowed me come back. Had a werid urge to cram asuka in here he looks like one of those little fluff dogs, dude.

Warnings: suggestive humor and scenes, betrayed audience (IM SORRY 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️),Barely proofread

She's always showing you affection

Touching your hand if you were to sit across from her. Offering to carry you home if too tired. She's very happy to do things for you!

You think her being like this is almost her way of repaying you for being patient while she's out stellaron hunting

She'd text you whenever she was free she'd love seeing how fast you'd respond. "The missions taking a while, I'm sorry if I'm late" you'd type almost immediately after she sent that "don't worry about it! Stay safe." With a small thumbs up emoji afterword. Her heart melts, you can't be this cute.

She loves greeting you by getting home first and sitting down on the couch. "Long time no see~" "Kafka..." the way you say her name she wishes to record it. Your greeting smile and small sweets you prepare for her always make her warm up a bit.

"How did you know I was coming back?" She'd lean into the hug rubbing your arms with her thumb. "I don't so when you don't come back I just kinda eat those alone-" She takes a bag of those snacks with her now, how could you say something like that with a smile on your face-

The longest time she's been out was two months barely being able to text you. So as soon as the mission was done, she excused herself. Waiting for you to come home so she could great you.

"Kaf-" You couldn't even finish your sentence before she kissed you suddenly, holding your hands pinning one to the wall. She kisses you with an eagerness, almost a need for you. You pull away to catch your breath, she'd fail to hide her want for more almost hearts in her eyes. She goes back in holding your waist as she enjoys the long kisses in between short gasps for air. She'll get her fix of you,slipping her toungue in feeling yours squirm everytime they touch, she really can't get enough of you only backing off when she felt shes had enough. "I prepared dinner for us" she wraps her arms around your shoulders, leading you to the dining table completely decorated.

She pulls out a chair for you as you sit down with her and catch up. "So how was the stellaron?" "Alot more active than usual took too much work" a sigh escapes her lips. You two continue to chatter on while eating.

As soon as you two finish eating, she helps you clean up. She can't take your hands off you while you wash dishes. She slowly rock your waist to sync with her movements. She takes off her gloves to touch your face. "As unprovoked as ever" she mumbles leaning into you "Why yes it takes alot of focus to wash dishes" she smiles at the joke leaning in to kiss you "Why yes the dishes are quite a vicious foe"

She just likes being near you. You smell nice...also you're able to keep her from turning into the local raccoon.

you would catch her looking at trash, always somehow be there to pull her away last second. "Come on, Stelle!" You drag her away.

She'd like to place small kisses on your cheek whenever you're not paying attention. She almost did this infront of the star rail crew. "The next planet..." You grab her face, holding her there. "heard that place is hotter than 12 volcano" March and Dan Heng would kinda continue to convo with her kinda stuck there

She can't sleep without you nearby. She's like the demon in the dark you run up the stairs from. She'd just stand there in the doorway as the light kinda makes her look like a shadow. "Uhhh Stelle" "..." you're barely awake yet you could tell it was her. You tsk before lifting your blanket lazily. "Come here" she nearly runs into bed with you cuddling into you. "You need a night light...maybe I'll take one from March" you pat her head as she scoots closer to you.

You had a maid run up to you shrieking about someone jumping out of a closet. "I'll go check it out miss I'll contact you if you it's anything serious" you go to check the room walking in and closing the door. You hear something in the closet and peak in only to have the doors fly open, Stelle almost jumping out trying to stop herself realizing who it was. "So you jump scared the room service lady" she nods "....wanna try that on sampo?"

She gets caught up in boxing and actively shows off how good she is. She always looks for you in the audience and shows off her win. "Congrats Stelle, but put him down!"

She won't admit it but she maybe maybe- likes pda. Maybe she does like holding your hand in public or the thought of you kissing her without a care. You'll never get her to say it tho. She just brushes her fingers on yours, occasionally hoping you'd hold onto her hand.

You found her in a trash can as usual but this time one on her head. You looked at her flabbergasted. "Stelle- get that off of your-" you were interrupted by her pulling it up and kiss you. Her tongue slipping in a bit, lowering the trash can down for a bit of privacy. You pull away, "Stelle what the-" she kisses you again before you pull her off gently "wait till we're on the express k?" You blush softly. She pounts a bit but still waits pulling the trashcan lower.

Turns out she forgot when you got back to the express a few days later when she does remmber tho she nearly runs at you slamming your door. "Eh what?" You rub your eyes seeing the raccoon in all of her glory "Stelle?" Your eyes a bit hazy yet you could still tell it was her, she nearly jumps on you immediately taking off her jacket. "Youre always up to something-" she cuts you off putting a finger to your mouth "shush" she smirks teasingly "been waiting for this for a long while now~" her voice is so calm yet you could almost feel mischief radiating off of her.

She kisses you for a long while, only pulling away to catch her breath quickly going back to it moments later. She didn't even care when March came knocking, wondering where she was. If anything, she just became more passionate. She adores your little tired noises every time she does something to fluster you. The infamous rubbing circles in your back always managed to get an embrassed squeak out of you. As soon as you pull her off breathing heavily, she'll notice just how flustered she made you. Her job was complete staying with you that night so she could do it all again in the morning.

He isn't too open even when in a relationship

You know he loves you he just doesn't say it outloud. You usually have to make moves and he'd slowly respond to those things, he's almost confused. "You're so stiff" you hug him from behind "as stiff as a board~" leaning into him a bit. As you hug him he's not really sure what to do. Does he hug back backward? Does he turn around and hug you? Does he just embrace it? So may questions running through a very straight faced man

The quickest way you flustered him is when you ask about the future while laying your head on his lap. "Blade... you think you might settle down with me when there's no longer stellarons to hunt." He didn't move, but it was clear to see the blush on his face. As he softly pats your head, you could almost hear him mumble a "I want to..."

He offen tries to sneakily hold your hand. "Oh?" He would stay straight faced, holding your hand behind your backs. Gripping your hand a bit tighter sometimes. "Is this your way of being flustered?" "No" he'd squeeze your hand. "Uh huh"

He wants you to braid his hair. He'd sit down with his back facing you, and you'd be so confused. When you finally offered, you could tell he almost ran but didn't wanna embrass himself. "Alright, sit -" he sits with his back turned to you in the same spot as usual. "Oh...so THAT'S what you meant." "What did you think I mean?" "That you were mad at me. " "...." he got his hair braided but still sensed undying guilt

He'd be so confused if you bought him any sort of gift. He's grateful, but... how to use it. "Blade...it's a fake flower, and when ya open it!" You carefully twist off the bud. "It's a chapstick!" He looks down at it, then back at you,"are my lips that crusty. " "No! No! I just got it cause I thought you wanted one! Always notice you staring at mine when I use it" he doesn't tell you, but he's been wondering about indirect kissing via chapstick.

All this thinking of kissing is gonna get in the way of stellron hunting it's too the point Kafka picks up on it and starts teasing him. "Bladie~, you seem flustered." "..." she smirks. "Is it that cute person you're dating!" He's pink trying to hide it, but he's blushing just thinking of you. "Your little play thing surprised you haven't given up on revenge just to stay with them longer." she walks in circles around him, annoying him but fluttering him none the less

He caught you asleep while waiting for him, so he tried to sneak into your arms without waking you. He'd fail...horrendously. you'd feel soft breaths and your arms going around a figure patting your head as you slept. Jokes on him, after you caught him doing this for a multitude of times, you just decided to pretend not to wake. Hopefully, making him feel like he's getting better at this.

He hides his cravings to wanna kiss you, but when he wants them, it's so odvious. He stays around you more often with almost no room for air, his frown deepening and eyes softening almost as if softly begging for something.

When he finally acted on this urge, it was only when you figured it out, kissing his cheek as he turned into a blushing mess. "Oh ho~, it seems someone got a bit excited for that," you smirk teasingly, hugging him. "Did you want one of these too?" His breath was heavy, his hair covering some of his face, but you could tell you had him on the ropes. Suddenly, he cups your face and leans in hesitantly before kissing you, slowly getting more passionate as he grips the clothes near your waist. You softly laugh at this, hearing him scoff, taking this chance you kiss him again in a slightly teasing way as he fully embraces your affection. He gets more egar gripping your clothes a bit tighter as his small kisses turn into deep, long ones with short gaps for air. He'd look so ashamed whenever he pulled away for breath. "If you're tired, we could save it for later." You smirk teasingly. "...just one more," you kiss his cheek. "..." You smirk, kissing his lips. "You're cute whenever you want something, you know"

[catzz089]

sorry for leaving you my queen!! FINALLY EXAM ON FRIDAY THOO!!! anyway to the two chapters i missed: idk what stream snipping is?? like am i dumb or is it just cause im not on twitch? WHAT IS THIS? POV SWITCH?? ricoo is this you?? ok so max has been lonley so glad charles has fixed this! OHH YES IM DOWN KILL JOS! wait i might lowkey root for the villain fuck it! so hate to break it to u mr/ms killer not how that works but ok pop off. ok back to max not his head hurting :(( DAMN MUSCLES yess charles catch him! noo you dont have to be perfect your not god your human. how the actual fuck do u set ur table on fire when at a restaurant like ??? AWEE CAT DAD CHARLES using that blood money for good. ok scared me with there was a figure in the alley im terrified. Victoria hmmm. damn CHARLES DONT LET HIM GO ALONE PLS PLS. ok yes somewhere public! as a sister i dont trust sister (i have stabbed my brother and i would do it again jk love him) oop maybe break the new a little nicer tf? wtf if ur gonna fake a suicide dont stab him so much? ok pop off max she has no right to demand anything like what?? LEWIS MAX INTERACTION MY FAVE!! (lowkey love 3344 relationship vibes) awee ok charles so sweet yep bring max to u! yes charles u do this too much but yess cuddles! 10/10 banger chap love the pov like i wanna knoww!!

What race thats in like 2 weeks?? :) jk im down for being mean to george russell. ANOTHER BANGER CHAPTER TITLE!! OK MR STROLL (still kinda scared of you) YESS PROTECT MAX TEACH UR SON (recently became a stroll fan like? i never hated him but i just didnt rlly care? then i saw him wearing a Bunnings hat) AHHH GOOD FATHER OKK!! WHAT ESTIE BESTIE! Get it lance!! lol ok had to explain to my mum what scissoring was while my dad fucking lost it so i feel for lance! AWWE YES THE GANG CUDDLED UP! lol max no need to be embarrassed if that mans keeping u in bed he wants u there!! lol trust charles not to cook well i mean the restaurant is probs mostly a front. AHHH MAKE FUN OF THE RICH MAX (he is the rich but that ok)! DATE! NICE RESTAURANT! PLEASE I CANT DO SLOWBURN! ok causalities so good (has charles physically killed for max yet?) OH SHIT NOT MAX NOT THE CATS. charles ur own men not cool. damn max stop ur self sacrificing ass and go with the rich man tf. AHHH I WOULD DELAY THE WINDOW TOO KING! some great advice from Carlos pls just kiss charles aleeady! Carlos is reflecting how i feel and i live for it! Hah i park better then charles and i have to pay people to go fast (love speeding fines lol). yep gay panic from clothes sharing so real. HAH NO MAX WEAR THE MCLAREN ONE AND MAYBE CHARLES WILL FINALLY SNAP lol! ok wine drunk confession i love it. yes his face is beautiful keep up. ok is it me or is charles just being rich af in this chap like ok u can afford to buy every building i cant buy a house (this is normal im 18 i just wanna live alone). ok prove my point buy talking about wine like that I only belive in good bags! awee hangover plan ahead i love. ok charles being a good person soo good! pls dont let this set us back pls max remember this convo tomorrow!! DAMN CARLOS GO OFF!! yes shovel talk him! NOOO NOT THE DREADED CONVO PLS MAX PLS DONT LEAVE! oop what an ending! I LOVE THIS RLLY WHAT I NEEDED RN THANK!!! 🩵🩵

AHH WELL DONE!!! So lucky... I swear mine are never ending :(

Stream sniping is basically when a streamer is like playing a game or smth and people join the same game with the stream loaded up so they know where the person is and can meet them/bother them/kill them easily, I lowkey forgot who the title was related to (probably Jos? Maybe Max being found by his sister? Maybe Max being found by Lewis? Maybe all three idk..)

YESSS ROUGE POV SWITCH...... I wonder who it could be :D (you find out VERY soon ;) )

FUCK Jos, go for it, root for the villain and hope it's not like, christian horner or smth.

Max is truly God's strongest solider, now all of his worst moments are accompanied by a killer headache and vision fuzz :DDD

Ever since the initial incident (tm) Charles has started to scramble towards Max whenever he looks mildly unsteady. It's saved Max more than once.

YES cat dad Charles making sure his babies (all three of them) are well taken care of

You weren't the only one, Charles panicked when he saw Max finally leave a terrible shift that he should not have kept him for, just to see a suspicious figure, who happens to look a lot like Max and speak Dutch, expect Max is rather tense...

Charles did NOT want to let him go alone, but he's literally never been so clearly dismissed before, not as a Mafia boss and certainly not by Max.

LMAOOOO REAL, true sibling behaviour, except we're on different sides of the spectrum, I have to pick up the chairs to keep my very tall brother away from me when he's pulled out the knife :(

Vic... Doesn't have very much finesse in this scene.

To be fair, mystery murderer man was angry , and he knew damn well he'd get away with it, not one person could find a single bit of evidence. It doesn't matter if people think it's a murder. Not when nobody can find the murderer

Lewis casually dropping in to make sure all is well (it's not) before delicately dropping him at his boyfriends house

Charles just goes too insane whenever he gets his hands on Max, he can't help cuddling him.

tbh, I don't care about Stroll all that much, but I do like the father son dynamic and I LOVEEEE Esteban, and I also love stocon? Lanceban? Estestroll? Ocoll? Idk. I love them

LMAOOO noooo, that's literally so bad. For me it's only ever explaining what the latest new word means or smth

YES YES YES. Cuddles ALWAYS. And Max being nervous about said cuddles, as per usual, despite Charles clinging him closer, bc the mean scary angry Mafia boss wants a hug sometimes too.

Charles can cook occasionally, only if he's practised the recipe before. Usually, it's rather dismal.

rcch!Max isn't rich, so therefore he gets to make fun of the rich :D (help me. I'm coping over my skewed morals)

"I can't do slowburn" She says, after reading 80k+ before a first kiss...

(I know, I know, it doesn't count bc they acted like a married couple from the get go but STILL.)

Yes. Just about every time he's been hurt or affected in some way. EVERYONE has ended up in a river, or harbour, or fed to a dog. Some people (cough cough, four alleyway men) got a nice little batch of torture before they died. Painfully.

Charles is fucking furious they could disobey orders like this, they tried to defend themselves saying they were killing the others, who could've hurt Max. The bullets went through their skulls before they could get that far.

Casual speeding never hurt anyone.

Charles wouldn't stop spending money on Max if you bankrupted him.

He wants everything prepared and perfect so Max can have the best morning ever <3 (I'll cover it!Charles pre-cooked breakfast for his Max... maybe rcch!C needs to up his game...)

haha, omg do you seriously think I'm that mean to mess up their relationship talks 80k in?

Carlos EATS every time idc. What a king

mafia convo HAS to happen for the relationship to have a hope in hell of actually working in practice, unfortunately. It'll be a lot for our boy to take in, but we'll just have to see how it goes...

YOU'RE WELCOME QUEEN!! SOZ THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET I WAS STRESSED THEN I WAS LAZY

[hazienutt]

Chapter 2

Third person’s pov:Over the past few days,Branzy noticed Clown kept getting nervous around him ,something the strongest player on lifesteal would have never done before.Branzy Pov:“Clown?” asked branzy.”Hmmmmh?”replied Clown,busy with his plans.”Why are you so nervous around me these days?”  “Oh,I ,I ermmm , i have a fight scheduled and I’m jumpy because my enemy is stacked.” “Oh , okay.”I said.”I’m gonna go now , I need to work on a project.”

Clown pov: i flew of with my elytra and immediately went to Kaboodle’s base to ask for her help with a dinner  date with branzy. 

Kaboodle pov:who’s that comin through my window wait that’s CLOWN. 

Clown pov: “KABOODLE,CAN U HELP ME WITH A DINNER DATE WITH BRANZYYYYY?” I screamed excitedly.”WAIT UR GONNA ASK HIM OUT” screamed kab.”YES OF COURSE I WOULD,just lemme fix my window.”

Time skip bc I don’t want to write a longer convo

Third person pov: “Clownnnn where are you taking meeeeeee “ “It’s a surprise,Branzycraft.” Clown leads branzy to a small forest clearing which is decorated with flowers and a small dinner table.”branzy,you can take your blindfold off now!” “Awwww clown you shouldn’t have.” “ so want some food?” “Yep,I’m so hungry.” While they were chatting ,kaboodle snuck into a bush and waited there anticipating the outcome of this date.

Clown Pov: “what should I talk about, love?!! I’m panicking!!”thinks clown. “Soooooo” said clown. “Did you ever had a crush on someone?” “No.”replied branzy.”how bout u?” Clown signed saying”branzy I need to confess something to you.” “sure , what’s up?”replied branzy.Clown stared into his eyes and said “I’m….I’m in love with you,since the start of when we started working for me I started to fall in love with you and i tried to protect you and love you as much I can and I really wanted to confess to tell you my feelings to see if you feel the same for me.” Branzy looked at him speechless , before finally saying “I….i don’t feel the same as you….im sorry clown.”clown froze and stared at his shoes and he flew off on his elytra ,tears streaming from his eyes until he was far far away from branzy.

Btw my dumbass forgot about tumblr if you want the whole story, go check out my Wattpad account hazelnutluvsnutella

[wendichester]

𓂃˖ ࣪ 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔟𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤

˚₊‧꒰ა @k-illdarlings ☆ sam winchester ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ⋆˙⟡ where aries, unknown, pieces meets taurus, virgo*, capricorn. ⟡˙⋆

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑✧˖⋆𖤐

ꔛ. meeting each other,

✧ what’s the most likely way for you two to meet?

you cross paths during a small-town haunting that’s a little too quiet for sam’s liking. local reports don’t match the pattern, but you? you do. you’re already there, snooping around, asking too many questions for a civilian. you beat him to the lore and the salt lines.

✧ are you a hunter or a civilian?

you’re not a full hunter—but you’re not clueless either. “involved adjacent.” maybe you had a personal loss to something supernatural and started chasing whispers. a lone wolf on a mission.

✧ what’s his first impression of you?

cautious admiration. you seem emotional but weirdly composed, ethereal yet grounded. he pegs you as someone who’s been through hell, even if you don't show it. he’s intrigued—especially by how your softness masks a steel resolve.

ꔛ. friendship compatibility,

✧ how would the friendship be like?

your moon in pisces and his moon in capricorn aren’t exactly soul twins, but that contrast makes the friendship interesting. you bring empathy, he brings stability. you’re more likely to say “what do you need?” while he’s already making the plan.

✧ how would it begin?

over research and long drives. he lets you tag along one night when you refuse to stay behind. you impress him with your mind and your ability to hold your own emotionally, even when you're clearly breaking a little.

✧ quirks and fun things about it:

✶ shared playlists on cassette, quiet nights researching in motel rooms, deep convos at 3am. ✶ you make sarcastic remarks that crack his straight face. ✶ he buys you random snacks he swears “remind him of you.” (they don’t, he’s just thinking about you).

ꔛ. romantic compatibility,

✧ are you compatible? is there a chance for friendship to develop into more?

yes, but not effortlessly. he’s guarded, and you need emotional intimacy to feel desire. but once that bond is built? unstoppable. your venus in pisces softens his taurus-heavy chart, pulling out his more romantic, poetic side.

✧ what type of relationship would it be?

slow-burn, healing, grounded but stormy. the type that looks like best friends on the surface, but under the table you’re gripping each other’s hands like lifelines.

✧ what are your love languages according to the charts?

✶ you: quality time, emotional reassurance, soft touch, shared dreams ✶ him: acts of service, physical closeness, showing love through fixing and protecting.

ꔛ. scenario, ₊˚⊹౨ friends & partners ৎ ₊˚⊹

you’ve seen him bleed more times than you’ve seen him smile. that’s just how it goes with sam. it’s in the silence between hunts where you find him—curled over books, sleeves rolled up, eyes shadowed but focused. he looks up when you bring him tea, nods like it’s a language only the two of you speak.

one night, after a hunt that nearly kills you both, he patchworks your shoulder with shaky hands. “you scared the hell out of me,” he says, voice too raw.

you laugh because the painkillers are kicking in. “that’s rich, coming from a guy who runs into burning buildings.”

he doesn't smile. not really. but his hand lingers. thumb brushes your wrist. eyes heavy with something more. “i mean it,” he says. “don’t do that again.”

you don’t say anything, just lean your head on his chest. and for the first time in months, he lets you. he wraps his arms around you like he’s afraid you’ll vanish. like he’s finally realized you never will.

ꔛ. overall, score : 8.8 / 10

this is a real one. not the “fireworks and fast sex” type, but the kind that builds quietly, burns deeply, and endures. your charts speak to healing love—born from shared trauma, held together by trust, strengthened by softness in a hard world. you’d annoy each other sometimes—especially with your emotional reactivity and his avoidance—but the bond? it would last. even past death.

and yeah, if we went nsfw… i’d tell you it’s slow, intense, mutual. almost reverent. he’d take his time. you’d make him feel human again.

ꔛ. navigation 𓂃˖ ࣪ all drabbles ; compatibility readings ; support my work .ᐟ

* since the birth time of sam hasn't ever been mentioned, I've placed him as a virgo rising, since it's the sign that makes more sense to me.

[fruitjuices]

uhm 14, 16, 18, 20 BITCH. (did i do this right)

YES!!!!!! baby's first tumblr ask <3

hey i had to put this under the cut. take my hand and come with me there is so much more to read

14. their love languages

you know me you know my heart you know i will be writing a novel on this. however. look at this and tell me its not the most olenna thing you've ever seen

OK JOKES HAVE NOW LEFT THE ROOM.

olenna absolutely shows her love through acts of service (and a little bit of gift giving technically, but it's all under the guise of protection. which she ultimately views as a service) she's fairly clumsy with her words and physical affection freaks her out (consequences of viewing yourself as intrinsically terrible and ruined. anyway). they also both leave a lottt of room for rejection AND require a lot of vulnerability to initiate, and she's willing to do pretty much anything to avoid situations where those things might come up!!

in terms of what she values the most when it comes to receiving love.. hm. okay so on a character level i think she'd draw a big blank and just be like '??? however i can get it. Bitch.' but on a niamh level i know she goes crazyyy for quality time. she just loves being around the people she loves! knowing they're safe! knowing she can keep them safe! knowing they trust her TO keep them safe!! i imagine once she gets a little more comfortable being herself (progress was made when she was with lyudmila and then. The Event happened. and she's back to square 1 LOL) words of affirmation are going to be a big big big hit. but right now she's at the point where they just freak her out. Sorry shes got issues. like its HER fault

enough about fuckass ulrik its lyudmila time <3 i think her love manifests primarily through words of affirmation. while she IS more of an optimist and DOES have a sunnier outlook on life, she's still got a lot of insecurities (mostly around the fact she's a vampire. idk why im being coy you know this.) and around a general sense of like... being likable but not lovable. i think she's almost hyperaware of her vampirism? if that makes sense? like she's just very very careful around people not necessarily because she's afraid she'll snap but because she doesn't want to be perceived as a Creepy Vampire. so when she finds someone she's comfortable with and who is comfortable with HER, it's like a weight is taken off her shoulders. she can gush about how much she loves her! she can share every weird and slightly off putting thought without fear of being judged <3 i think what it really comes down to for lyudmila is being able to like. be kinda messy? like to anyone else having a vampire talk about gnawing on them would be so so scary. but when she loves someone she can say weird shit like that and trust that it won't be taken in a creepy way but instead in a 'i love you so much i want to be as close to you as i possibly can be'. yknow?

which is why her preference for receiving love is. you guessed it! physical touch <3 again her biggest fear is being misinterpreted/stereotyped and having the vulnerability she offers be used against her. and to her physical touch is like... the epitome of vulnerability and intimacy. not even speaking about sex (PERV.) but just like... sleeping/cuddling together. playing with her fingers. sitting in her lap when there's no space at a table and having it feel super natural and normal. she just really values closeness and feeling wanted i fear. and olenna seeing her necklace is tangled and reaching in to fix it while holding a convo with her/just treating it as a super casual normal thing... whew! she's got heart eyes i fear

16. three to five non-sexual acts of intimacy

um ok ignore. that last paragraph. i did not look ahead to see what these question would be. anyway. in no particular order...

sleeping together (or one person sleeping and the other taking watch), showering together (or whatever the fantasy equivalent is. bathing in a river together? sure), dancing together (lyudmila's favorite! she thinks its soo cute that olenna can fight but also has two left feet <3), fixing each others clothes/accessories/etc (this one is just so cute. and i think it's olenna's favorite. she fixed my cloak what are we...), anddd... idk how to explain this but just talking to each other. especially about their pasts. yeah <3

18. one to three other ships from other pieces of media that may remind you of them

this is a CRAZYYYYYYY reach but um. jaime and brienne from asoiaf. WAIT STOP COME BACK WAIT. STOP. bitter swordfighter used only for their skill in killing and treated as nothing but a weapon having their whole worldview shaken by someone who's been shoved to the edges of society for her mere existence but who still tries to be good and kind even in a world that wants nothing more than to beat that out of her. Hey. is this anything.

20. their absolute favorite thing about each other in the whole wide world

omg... ok well olenna literally calls lyudmila her better half so. gun to her head she's saying her favorite thing is lyudmila's existence and how she's lucky enough to be part of her life. but SPECIFICALLY... her resilience. like she hates that lyudmila HAD to go through terrible times and she wishes more than anything she could have been there to protect her but like. wow. she looks at her sometimes and is like 'you've been through some of the evilest shit i could imagine and you still smile. and laugh. and hope.' there's a strength and bravery to that that olenna really admires :)

OLENNA'S LOYALTY!!! sorry lyudmila just really really really values security and for the first time is getting to take a deep breath and let herself relax knowing someone has her back. for the first time she's also being treated as someone worth protecting? if that makes sense? i think its a really positive spin on the whole 'duty is my lifes purpose etc etc' olenna has going on when lyudmila kinda brings the perspective of like... valuing olenna for the person she is, the kind of person who values protecting the people she loves vs. You Are A Weapon And Will Be Used Until You Break. does that make sense. also she really likes how easy it is to make olenna blush.

[explorersaremadeofhope]

I would like to know more about both your Star Trek Terror fic and your Crozier hates tinder fic please 🙏

omg okay so like, these are both a bit old, star trek terror fic is proper old, i think i wrote it in 2021, but im still hoping!! i had so much fun just working out the worldbuilding on that one and how the different characters slot into different roles, but then i ran up against my old nemesis The Actual Plot and was like 'hmm ok, i think i need to know a bit more about Star Trek TOS lore for this', aaaand that's where i stalled. it's fitzier, but like, eventually. very eventually. you'll see why from the snippet 😂

crozier hates tinder fic was me going 'why is there almost no modern au romcom rossier fic' and then having a very funny convo with some folks on discord about science nerds on tinder. that one mostly exists in vague outline form with a scene or two written out plus random details like 'james ross owns not one but several tacky early 2000s mugs from various places in the southern hemisphere, preferably with penguins on'.

snippets mostly below a cut because they got long (sorry about that)!

Star Trek Terror:

francis raised his brows, but said nothing. ignoring fitzjames' confused expression, he turned his attention back to the file in his hand. "i see from your service record that you've received several commendations for bravery in engagements with the romulans and the klingons." he looked up. "out of curiosity, do you speak klingon? or romulan?"

"ah, no, sir," fitzjames smiled apologetically. "i'm afraid i don't."

"i see. so your expertise lies primarily in firing at alien races, not communicating with them."

it wasn't a fair question, nor a fair conclusion. clearly taken aback, fitzjames blinked in open surprise. "sir," he began carefully, "i believe my qualifications -"

"your qualifications, commander fitzjames, are perfectly adequate. even impressive. for war." francis fixed him straight in the eye and held his gaze. "but don't let the repurposed nature of our ship fool you. we are a survey vessel. you will appreciate, no doubt, that the primary goal of any exploratory mission is to avoid bloodshed, not to excel at it." fitzjames drew breath to speak. francis ignored it. "put bluntly, commander, we don't particularly need a war hero. what we need is someone who knows how to calibrate a spectrometer correctly."

"with all due respect, sir," said fitzjames, once he was sure francis had finished speaking, "i think you'll find i have the requisite scientific training to apply for this post." he'd uncrossed his legs while francis was speaking and now sat ramrod straight. his mouth was pinched, his dark brows drawn together.

francis waved that away with a flick of his hand and a shake of his head. "this isn't a twelve-month patrol tour along the neutral zone, commander. we will be five years in deep space. sometimes uncharted space. in that situation, a man's merits on paper will matter far less than his personal qualities."

there was a pause in which fitzjames lowered his gaze to the floor, his jaw working. when he spoke again it was to a point just above francis' shoulder. the affable buoyancy had drained from his voice, leaving a gravel harshness which francis privately suspected was far more genuine. "i respectfully posit, sir," said fitzjames, "that you don't know my personal qualities, seeing as we've only just met."

francis' smile did not reach his eyes. "be that as it may. i'm afraid my decision is made, commander." he set his padd aside and folded his hands on the table. "thank you for your interest. and good morning."

Tinder fic:

“Well,” says Blanky flatly. “That's sexy.”

But as he reads over the message one more time, Francis’ heart is actually slowing down from its panicked gallop – his dread replaced with sheer relief at being given a topic of conversation he's fluent in.

“No, no, it's fine,” he says absently, staring at the words I'm thrilled we matched. “I don't mind.”

“Aye, you wouldn't, would you. What the hell are–” Thomas peers at the screen more closely. “Pinnipeds?”

“Seals. Well. Not just seals.” Francis looks up. “It's one of those things – all seals are pinnipeds but not all pinnipeds are seals. You know?”

Blanky regards him with the look of a man who absolutely does not. "Right."

After staring at his phone for a few moments longer, Francis opens the keyboard. 

Hi, he types out with deliberation. Thank you for – no. That comes off a bit pathetic, doesn’t it. Backspace. 

Thank you; likewise. Exclamation point? Does the full stop look dour? Cold? But he’s never been much of an exclamation point man. Likewise – I’ve always wanted to visit Antarctica. What

He stops typing, seized by a sudden fear. Hurriedly erasing the message draft, he looks up at Blanky. “Can people see me typing on this thing?”

“Fuck should I know, Francis? I’ve been married for twenty years. – Give us a minute, though.” Blanky pulls out his own phone and writes a text. Less than a minute later, his phone pings. “Hannah says aye. Also wants to know if I'm cheating on Esther.”

[tmwcs]

Raeee🤭🤭

How would heethan react if he overheard y/n complaining to one of her friends (h/n) about how bland her and heethans sex life is…

Praying for my girl already 😔

giiiiirll...you just threw y/n under the table lol!

MDNI18+ SMUT mentioned, lots of dialogue but the scenario is drafted with mentions of smut or smut things.

girl would just be casually talking to her friend, obviously playing a prank bc sex life with heethan is anything but bland or dull lol.

"yeah so....um.....girl dont say anything but i dont know how to tell heeseung this..."

*heeseung's ears perks up.....eeeehh...dude has really good hearing when it comes to y/n and closed door convos

"but.....our sex life is just....its so boring...its so bland."

next thing you know, the door slams open and an irked and scary looking heethan is right there with a sadistically twisted smile on his face.

"say that again pretty baby?" he says while biting on his bottom lip and slurping up his saliva out of irritation....soooo irritated that he's smiling. yeah...not good.

You of course show that the phone was either set to h/n with her laughing or it was just blank, signifying that you were pranking him. "haha! gotcha!"

Heeseung's eyebrow twitches as he remains standing with wide eyes and slightly parted lips. just when you thought that he was going to join in on the laughs and be all like "oh no! y/n! you got me! you clever girl you!" nope!!!!

man swoops you by the waist, throws you on the bed, straddles you, and TEARS off every bit of clothing you had on, to include your bras and panties, adn begins to lick you from head to toe....i mean that tongue goes EVERYWHERE girl. and be prepared to get smacked....but not by his hand. oh no.....heethan never smacks y/n with his hands....but he will with his trusting companion.

your face, tits, rear, stomach, your slit and just everywhere, gets a slap from his shaft. he issues each slap with his tip or the girth of his length, he does it as he's kneeled in between your legs, with one hand resting on his hip and the other is delicately gripping the base of his length and each time he 'slaps' you with it, he'll antagonize you with some words like....

"say that again pretty baby....hmm?"

*slap*

"what's boring now? not Mr. Throbbing-python of love, here. can't be him."

*slap*

"so tell me, whose boring you? me? hmm? maybe i should bring out ethan."

*slap slap*

"yeah ethan will know how to fix that....you know nothing is bland with ethan around."

*slap slap slap slap*

"He-Heeseung it was just a joke...it was just a joke you know i dont think that. please untie me. "

😏

"heeseung?"

"wrong name baby doll." > : )

[adreamoverlife]

Hey ur post about gabriel and loki seems rad as hell but im kind of stupid. In your version what exactly is loki switching?? Is lucifer still in the cage in this version?

Hellooooo, Nah trust me you're not stupid, Just my writing brain always takes over while I'm making posts and makes them way more convoluted than they need to be lmao. I'm gonna use this as a jumping off point to explain more about this AU. So to answer your immediate questions, Loki switched places with Gabriel when he was supposed to be rescued in order to pretend to be him and Lucifer is out of the cage while Michael and Adam is still trapped.

And for a more detailed answer heres this:

So, this would happen in season 13 (I originally wrote this without thinking about Jack so I'm just gonna put him off the table for now.) Normal season 13 is Loki - Left Gabriel with Asmodeus and seemingly was playing mafia god in a few hotels before getting killed by Gabriel

Lucifer - Out of the cage and messing around on earth

Gabriel - Was in hell and then was rescued and brought to Sam and Dean

Michael - Still trapped in the cage with Adam

In the AU I Wrote up Loki - Took Gabriel's place in hell when the angel was supposed to be rescued and was taken to Sam and Dean under the guise of being Gabriel. For believability and to tie up a loose end he did still kill Asmodeus like Gabriel did in the show. While his main objective is to make Gabriel suffer it's also a little deeper than that. We know Lokis father had him chained to a rock with a snake dripping venom into his eye but he still speaks fondly of him, He doesn't just wanna destroy Gabs relationship with his brothers (because lets be real it's already dead as hell) but to prove that Gabriel COULD have had his family back and they COULD be happy together. Before eventually destroying it. It should be noted that whether or not Gab ACTUALLY could fix his family is a dubious claim at best, it's more about how Lokis forgiveness of his abusive family makes him toxic to everyone else. (I'll be referring to him as "Gabriel" when he's pretending to be him to other characters)

Lucifer - Still out of the cage but who was sought after by "Gabriel" in order to repair their relationship. This actually managed to tap into Lucifers softer side for a while before he mysteriously vanished after a late night convo with "Gabriel" in the bunker. Sam was the last one to see him before said convo. He is still alive and is most likely the one causing all of nature to start reclaiming the earth.

Gabriel - Was never saved from hell by Arthur Ketch but Loki had him put somewhere "better" aka somewhere he can watch what Lokis doing to his brothers. The idea that he might be literally trapped inside like a radio or tv station is really interesting to me and probably where he is. If Castiel can get turned into a clay figure why can't Gabriel be trapped behind a TVs glass screen?

Michael - Since the cage is canonically damaged by this point in the show I don't find it too impossible a powerful god like Loki could sneak in a wisp of his illusion magic. I imagine Michael and Adam are having their own kinda hell right now. And if Loki managed to break Michael out of the cage after winding him up a bit to cause maximum damage who knows. I'll have to think more on Michael specially.

I've written a few Ficlets for this but I haven't exactly given this au a beta reader so there might be a few plotholes or things im forgetting that happened in the actual season 13 but honestly I'm kinda just having fun with this idea. Hope its not too illegible lmao. If you have anymore questions please shoot me an ask

[hackedmotionsensors]

got the table for AISea.

Talked to my dad about the house situation lol I always worry about talking to him about problems bc he's a problem sponge and makes things about himself lol But it was a good convo

had a burrito

The builders are here and they've already fixed the kitchen window and are replacing the ac unit.

Only one of them is wearing a mask like I asked but I'm wearing a mask until they leave so whatever.

But I also realized that the reason my landlady is doing all this work is bc I was like "I might have to move out bc of this" and like...I DEFINITELY want to. I've wanted to move for a while.

Ive been here for TEN YEARS and asked about the window being fixed and now that I wanna leave she's fixing things lmao for fucks sake

[bullshit-bulltrue]

☆ hawk talk 8/14/23 ☆

so i found out that my school practically treats PDA as The Big Bad Sin™️

like literally in our handbook it says it is NOT tolerated under ANY means

so like

even if i had the courage to hug my friends

i fucking can't

unless the monitors aren't paying attention but like

what if one day i'm like crying in the hallway and my bestie sees me and wants to give me a hug

but like they can't 0_0

and vice-versa

FUCK

okie. anyway.

lanie is out of town visiting family :(

BUT I STILL GOT TO EAT LUNCH WITH SOMEONE

and if you've been following along, you would know the person i ate lunch with is Delgado

✨️✨️✨️

we'll go back to that in a sec, i promise (highlight of my day)

so since it was an odd day i went to history & geo first

so we get there and we have a debate on whether school should start earlier/same time or later

and i of course backed up my reasoning with evidence unlike everyone else

they're all dumbasses

and the sleezy hoebags behind me started trying to fuck with my hair

but then i hit one of them <3

so then mr. m had us go over the fire drill and where to go in case of smth happening during his period

so we went outside and lined up where we would in case of an emergency

and then the desk buddy bitch asked for the answers to a quiz and i gave her the wrong ones <3

so then that was it for history & geo

andddd it turns out that delgado passes the math room on his way to his next period so i have to make sure i don't look like utter shit BEFORE MATH TOO

i felt bad tho bc i almost hit him 😭😭

so when i was walking towards the math room my back was turned to him so i obvi didn't know it was him when he tapped me on the shoulder

and it scared the crap outta me cus the recent school day (last friday) some dick did that to me and i hit him

and i thought it was the same guy

but it wasn't, it was delgado <3

and he just wanted to make sure we were still good for lunch and this is how the convo went:

d: *taps my shoulder* hey so lunch today, right?

me: *puts fist down after i realized it was him* yeah!

d: oh and also what do you have for first period?

me: [insert history & geo teacher's name]

d: oh cool. where you going next?

me: math with Mr. H. right here *points at door*

d: *groans* i just came back from math. that's my first fucking period 🙄

me: *laughs* ahh it's my 2nd. well, technically 3&4 but ykwim (if you need me to explain the schedules lmk)

d: Okay well i gtg

me: yeah me too, see you in like an hour or some shit *smiles and waves*

d: *smiles and waves back*

sooooo

then math

these bitches at my table

are fucking horrible

i'm trying to do a placement exam

and they keep talking

like BITCH I DID NOT MAKE IT TO AN ACCELERATED CLASS JUST FOR Y'ALL TO BE THE REASON WHY I FAILED

TAKE YOUR ASSES AND CHEAT ON THE EXAM SOMEWHERE ELSE HOES

I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT

"wElL Mr H sAiD wE CaN tAlK" "We ArEnT eVeN bEiNg LoUd"

SHUT THE FUCK UP

HE SAID WE CAN TALK ABOIT MATH AND UR LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT YO UGLY ASS FACE

so that was fun.

oh and also Mr. H (the teacher) draws so we can like give him a photo and he'll draw like the outline and give it back to us to color and then hang it up in the room!! so i'm gonna ask him if he can draw Stitch or smth so i can color it and hang it in the classroom!

yk if i remember lol

oh and like towards the end of class i went to the bathroom to fix myself up a little bit™️ bc on odd days i have

✨️english class✨️

after math <3

so i put on my favorite lipstick and tamed my hair a bit more and just made sure my clothes looked alright and shit lol

i also cleaned up my boots too while i was at it <3

i love my boots so much

i want moreee

like

actually i don't want more

i NEED more

if i had the money, i would be a doc martens addict and i'd have hundreds of pairs

but alas

bitches are expensive

*sads*

okeu anywayy

i get back to class and these hoes are still talking about the girliest shit ever i literally was going to kill myself if i had to listen to anymore of it

so then we started packing up and then we left

AND THENNNN

ENGLISH CLASS TIME

so we all lined up outside the door bc the teacher wasn't in yet (Mrs. K)

and i tried to stand next to him (delgado) but this bitch got in line RIGHT before me so she was in-between us :/

but thats alr cus he sorts slowed down in line and i caught up so we walked in the room around the same time

and i was wearing a shirt with a Mexican food place and Mrs. K was like "oh my gosh that's my favorite Mexican restaurant in [insert location]!!" and i was like "yeah its pretty good. well, for white people cooking the food. the only real Mexican food you get is from Mexico, or your mamás kitchen" and delgado looked at me like he knew lol so that's when he sorta started catching on that I'm Mexican too

it's nice not to have to tell someone about my ethnicity for once and them figuring it out on their own

so yeah <3

and we had to finish these state mandated tests bc we got only like halfway done on friday

so me and delgado were writing each other notes and doodles to help keep ourselves awake and not fall asleep during that godforsaken fucking test 😭😭

so after we got done (we finished our tests around the same time lol) Mrs. K let us kinds do our own thing as long as we weren't disruptive

so i read DPS and he was playing some game on his Chromebook

and it was so funny bc he had his chromebook on mute but you can tell when he lost and stuff bc he would make a fist and be like "noooo" really quietly

idk

it was funny to me, at least

and there was someone's alarm going off and it sounded like the beep a bomb makes before it goes off

and ofc my mind immediately went to JD <3

and then me, delgado, baseball guy, and d's short bestie all looked at each other like "you hear that 👀"

and then me and delgado crossed ourselves and said "el padre, el hijo y el espíritu santo" but he said it in english lol

and like he's so sweet

so not only did he double check we were still eating lunch together in the hallway but he also asked again at the end of english class

ik it may not seem like anything to you but it means a lot to me

bc i'm always the one to make sure plans are still plans and i feel annoying for asking so many times and that i'm bothering the other person and it just feels nice to have someone else take the time to ask, yk?

so it also turns out our lockers aren't that far away from each other's so even though he's English Class Crush™️ he also qualifies as Hallway Crush™️

speaking of hallway crushes

yk Luca? his locker and also Mikey's (Michael, but we all call him Mikey) lockers are close-ish to mine

so yeah that's great/sarc

it is, in fact, not great.

BECAUSE THAT MEANS I CANNOT RISK LOOKING LIKE SHIT IN THE MORNING

i mean i make sure i always look somewhat good before i leave the house

BUT STILL

anyway

we go to lunch and his friend Alex comes along and im like ooo cool i get to meet his friend

and i sat down and saved us some seats while they went to get the food from the lunch people

so when they come and sit down i was hoping that i would sit next to delgado bc that was the whole fucking point of eating lunch with him

but Alex sits his ass right in between us

but like ig Alex is a protective friend or smth?? idk but like yeah i didn't take offense or anything bc id be the same way

we were stil able to talk tho <3

and anyway they come and sit down and the lunch for the 14th was grilled cheese

but lemme tell you

that, was in fact, not grilled cheese

it looked like two soggy pieces of bread with orange food coloring in the middle

that cheese? was NOT cheese

and i was like oh hell nah no way is Boy Bestie™️ eating whatever the fuck that government looking waste was

so i was like dude have what you want out of my lunch, there's no way you're eating that on my watch

and i was like hey Alex you can go ahead and eat my lunch too

so Alex took the dragonfruit and smth else i think

and delgado had the tortillas mi mamá packed for me

again, i wasn't hungry at all because i had thrown up earlier but i forced myself to eat something before i passed out

oh and forgot to mention

delgado fr said "AYYY MEXICAN STYLEEE" bc i had the tortillas wrapped up in tinfoil and some chorizo con papas y huevos and i was like "HELL YEAHHH"

idk if the white people understand this or not but like this was a bonding moment for us bc there aren't a whole lot of mexicans at our school

so like to see that we're apart of the same culture is really nice

oh and he was also like "my mom makes that like every morning!" and i was like "my mom made it yesterday and decided to pack me some for lunch!"

i would've given him like a fist bump or smth but i wasn't gon put my arm across Alex to get to delgado cus like

just no

so anyway sometime in the middle of lunch i was eating my food and then

poof

woosh

*shimmery sound effects*

THEY'RE GONE

I DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHEN BUT THESE BITCHES JUST VANISHED

SO THEN I WAS LIKE NO NO NO I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE ALONE FOR THE NEXT 20 MINUTES WHYYY

but i didn't wanna move and go look for them bc not only are we not allowed to i also thought maybe they just needed to go the the bathroom

so i just sat there looking like a kicked puppy with sad eyes because i'm not fucking tall enough to look for them in the crowd of gross teenagers

so i just sit there and text my friend because when i lose my friends (and this has happened since elementary) i get really aggressive bc i get overstimed so yk i texted my friend to calm myself down

anyway

lunch over

i get my shit from my locker and head to gym

we go over where we will sit for attendance

and then we go over fire drill procedures and shit

and then we spend most of our time doing jackshit

and like the last 20 minutes of class coach was like okay you can play basketball with the boys orstand around idrc bc we only have a little but till the end of the day

so i channeled my inner white girl and just watched delgado play basketball

and like he's one of the only guys who actually knows how to fuckin play 😭😭

also this one kid got hit in the back of the head and fell straight forward and on his face like a looney tunes character

comedic gold right there

and at the end of phys ed me and delgado were walking the same direction bc our lockers are near each other's and it looks like we're gonna have lunch again on Wednesday since that's the next time i have 3rd lunch <3

so yeah i hope i was midly entertaining

it's 1:36am and i gotta get up at 6:30am so goodnight and sorry for not Finnishing this earlier, i got caught up in something