#could really use a hug and prayers/good vibes

[monkberryfields]

So much has changed for me in the last couple of days I feel entirely like crud

[khship910]

User Reviews Playlist

I've never made a playlist for a fic before (I've only ever made like, three playlists at all), and I'm really proud of how this one turned out. It flows so well, and there's music from multiple genres, across six decades, in four different languages. It represents me as much as the story!

Each chapter has a song, and I'm going to be sharing the part of the song that represents each chapter in this ongoing post! (Spoilers, of course, so you should probably read it first 😏)

Chapter 1: Lovefool by the Cardigans

So in chapter one, Atsumu gets dumped by Shouyou Hinata (man, I love them as exes) and he's begging not to be single again, and the part that really struck me about this song was when it says "leave me, leave me, just say that you need me," because Atsumu doesn't even care if the relationship is real, he just wants to pretend someone loves him.

Chapter 2: My Little Town by Simon and Garfunkel

In chapter two, Atsumu talks about color, and about how the population no longer can distinguish it, from a lifetime of disuse. Everyone except the artists sees the world in grayscale. And that just reminds me of the black rainbow from this song. The colors are there, but no one can see them, because they lack imagination. And truly, without art, the citizens of the Hub are the dead and dying.

Chapter 3: Androgyny by Garbage

Welcome to the Night Market, where you can find so many treasures, that glitter (which is what's in the second verse). This song is just a happy vibe, also about subverting expectations, freeing your mind and accepting androgyny, which just scream Night Market to me. I chose this verse to highlight because Atsumu is feeling like his Reviews are set in stone, but really, there's nothing that can't be turned around.

Chapter 4: Eventually (いつかは, itsukaha) by Kvi Baba

This whole album is completely amazing. I got turned onto Kvi Baba after becoming obsessed with the opening song for Trigun Stampede. This song, Eventually, is my one of my favorites from the album, and I don't speak Japanese, but I could tell it was full of longing.

This specific part is translated (according to Google, anyway) as:

I feel like I'm betting on a future I don't know My thoughts reach God Poropolo's tearful prayer Should I celebrate? Because if it were me Reasonable accident property bottom rapper I guess at most I could be considered a bitch. But you were famous

The idea that Atsumu is praying for a better future? It fits so well. And he repeats the idea that he's "celebrating," by going to the Sex Club. Unfortunately he gets more than he bargained for when he hooks up with SunaRin6969, a fairly well-known anonSex streamer.

Chapter 5: Everything Has a Price to Pay by Paul Weller

You just asked me, what I'm feeling Should I tell you? Nothing is for free Can't you see - can't you see? Everything has a price to pay

This chapter should be a happy moment. Atsumu finally sells an art piece, but more exciting than that, he gets to leave the Hub for the first time in his life. This is huge. He gets drive in a hovercar, gets to see where all the Night Market vegetables are grown, he gets to see TREES, and a house made of wood. But when Josefina and Martín seduce him, he realizes he's nothing more than a commodity to them, not a person or even an artist. He's got a price, just like his art piece or one of their couches.

Chapter 6: Mother by Tori Amos

We all deserve someone in our lives we can go to for comfort, someone who will hug us when we're disgusting, someone who will wipe our tears and never tell us we're better off dead. That person for Atsumu is his mother, who loves him unconditionally, who always sees him as her baby, no matter what he gets himself into. Growing up, this song always made me long for a person who would be there, who could comfort, who would leave a light on for me. I'm glad Atsumu has his Ma.

Chapter 7: Fountain (I Am Good) by Mosaic MSC

I am good, You say I'm good I am worthy, wanted, loved by You This is living breathing proof That I am chosen, wanted, loved by You I'm undone with love for You

The Speaker reminds Atsumu that he is good, and that beyond the love she has for him, there's the love of God, that's always accessible. But she also reminds the other Members that they have to be the light and love of God in someone else's life, and challenges them to love one another. I love this song because it's such a declaration of God's love, without conditions or requirements, something we all need and yearn for, but may not experience from others.

Chapter 8: Always Remember Us This Way by Lady Gaga

Shinsuke Kita is so many things to Atsumu. The person who taught him about colors, sure, but more than that, he taught him about a whole world that he didn't even know existed. Atsumu finally had someone who saw him, who liked him, and sure, maybe not *in that way* but our boy needs SOMEONE to understand him, damnit (a definite theme in this story). When Shin sees him drawing and recognizes him as an artist? He found the light in him that Atsumu lacked the vocabulary to describe. Plus, they're meeting as adults, and this whole song is just about how we want to remember our past loves. Atsumu wants to remember Shin not as he is today, away from him and living his dream, but preserved in amber, always his teacher, lover, and friend.

Chapter 9: Te Felicito by Shakira and Rauw Alejandro

I don't buy that cheap philosophy I'm sorry, I don't ride that bike anymore I can't stand two-faced people I used to put my hands in the fire for you And you treat me like one more of your whims Your wound didn't open my skin, but it opened my eyes I've got them red from crying so much for you

Well, I love Rauw Alejandro (one of my favorites is Todo de Ti, ofc, that song is perfection) but I love this song because it's all about the roles we play. What do we represent to the people around us? And what do they represent to us? In this chapter, Osamu realizes he truly has no idea who Atsumu is. He'd had him playing a part in his mind the whole time that turned out to be false. He isn't a fuckup with zero job and ambitions; he has a rich inner and outer life that's different from his own, yes, but no less valid. There's a mourning here, for the previous way things used to be. But by burning down the old assumptions, their relationship can rise from the ashes to new life.

Chapter 10: Mañana Será Bonito by Karol G and Carla Morrison

Because tomorrow will be beautiful Because even the sky turns blue And all the fog was a little while And no one can dim your shine Because tomorrow will be beautiful Because the lion was just a kitten Because today the sky looks clear And no one can dim your shine

So the reason I chose this song is because Karol G is fully the Queen, but also, because it has such a hope to it. Tomorrow will be better. Even when we're wading chest-high through the bullshit, we can remember that no one can dim our shine.

Atsumu is an eternal optimist. Those of us that are artists have to be. If we only focus on the ugly, how can we create beauty in the world?

He's hoping Sakusa can help him rewrite his User Reviews, turn his lion into a kitten, take his fog away, turn his sky clear.

Chapter 11: Eve, Psyche & the Bluebeard's Wife by Le Sserafim

Atsumu Miya is a mess, full stop. Hot, but a mess. A hot mess, if you will. And what the fuck do you do about an android you're trying to teach to be human? There's no good answer here.

Chapter 12: That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore by the Smiths

When Sakusa tells Atsumu, "you're useless," Atsumu laughs it off, but he's not laughing on the inside. That joke isn't funny. Most of Sakusa's interactions with him aren't funny.

Does Sakusa even know? Does he even care?

He'll learn. I promise.

Chapter 13: Hunger Strike by Temple of the Dog

Atsumu would love to steal some bread from the mouths of decadence.

Hell, he'd love some ACTUAL BREAD.

But what he gets is one of the worst meals he's ever had, with company that drives him mad.

I included the second part here because truly, all the rich folk out here feasting on the blood, sweat, and tears of the proletariat. Playing games with their lives as if they were nothing more than pawns.

Chapter 14: Ode to My Family by the Cranberries

Understand the things I say Don't turn away from me 'Cause I've spent half my life out there You wouldn't disagree

Do you see me? Do you see? Do you like me? Do you like me Standing there? Do you notice Do you know? Do you see me? Do you see me? Does anyone care?

I chose this for Chapter 14 because even though Atsumu and Osamu have had somewhat of a reconciliation over the food Atsumu made, it wasn't really a reckoning for the pain Atsumu's caused his brother over the years. How Osamu had to carry him, financially, emotionally. Had to be the stability and responsibility that Atsumu didn't have. Now, for the first time, Atsumu sees his brother, and understands that he does care, he's not being a stickler or an asshole. He's doing his best, just like Atsumu is.

Chapter 15: Working for the Knife by Mitski

Atsumu has to get a job. There y'have it, there's the whole post. LOL. But seriously, this song embodies the despair that comes with giving up on your dream and being forced into a soulless nine-to-five. (Or in Atsumu's case, eight-to-eighteen). I chose this part, because in UR Atsumu's twenty-nine and it just stood out to me, this hopeful hopelessness that "next year will be better." I also really like the part of this song where she talks about how she wished she could make things too, but no one wanted to hear her stories. That's Atsumu too, all he wants to do is create, but no one's buying what he's selling, at least not to the point where he could sustain himself. So he gets a "real" job, working for the knife.

Chapter 16: Best of You by the Foo Fighters

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best The best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best The best of you?

Are you gone and on to someone new? I needed somewhere to hang my head Without your noose You gave me something that I didn't have But had no use

I was too weak to give in Too strong to lose My heart is under arrest again But I break loose

My head is giving me life or death But I can't choose I swear I'll never give in I refuse

In Chapter 16 we are reacquainted with one Shouyou Hinata, Atsumu's ex-boyfriend. Atsumu loved him, the same way he loved all of his "romantic encounters," the same way he falls completely for anyone who gives him a scrap of attention. But Shouyou didn't feel the same for him; Shouyou dated him as a performance art piece and then abandoned him once he heard his reviews. Shouyou didn't really see Atsumu as a person, but he's very interested in TO-b10, who isn't a person at all. Shouyou rechristens his android friend as "Tobio," and is more welcoming and caring toward him than he'd ever been toward Atsumu. Which is why I chose this song, about the feeling when someone you've loved has moved on, and is giving someone new their best. I chose this section because it has that quiet desperation to survive that Atsumu's known for. That even when the odds are stacked against him, a thousand to one, in love and in life, he won't go down without a fight.

Chapter 17: Everything Counts by Depeche Mode

The grabbing hands, grabbing all they can, is the foundation of any well-run capitalist system. It's all about taking more, more, more. Chapter 17 is Atsumu at work, and in his "job" he's responsible for analyzing data and figuring out ways to make humans less complicated, so the Corp doesn't have to work as hard to make more money. Atsumu's so good at his job that he's responsible for the collapse of an entire consumer subset in this chapter, giving the lies and deceit a little more power, 4% more.

Chapter 18: Blue Monday by New Order

There's two reasons I chose this song for the scene where Atsumu goes with Tobio and Shouyou to the check-in. Sakusa's always making assumptions about Atsumu, which is the reason their first "date" went so poorly. He's a man of science, but instead of looking to the subject for data, he had preconceived notions that he was trying to substantiate. Good ol' confirmation bias. But his check-ins with Tobiobot have taught him that people aren't always going to fulfill the roles they've played in the past. That human beings (and Tobio!) are dynamic and can change. Which brings me to the second reason I chose this, Shouyou's assumption about Atsumu and how it pisses Sakusa off. It's a bit hypocritical, considering how he assumed he'd known everything about Atsumu as well, thanks to his "data." Of course, Atsumu calls him out for his hypocrisy. But in the end, they've reached a bit of a detente and are on their way to actual reconciliation.

Chapter 19: Send Me an Angel by Real Life

Open fire! On my burning heart I've never been lucky in love My defences are down A kiss or a frown I can't survive on my own

I think we can all agree Aran Ojiro is an angel. Especially in this story! He sees Atsumu so clearly, sees his worth even when Atsumu can't see it himself. And in this scene, he is literally there for him, calming him down when he hasn't taken the time he usually takes to prevent his mind from being overwhelmed by the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings of the Night Market.

Chapter 20: Plastic Love by Mariya Takeuchi

With a sudden kiss and a passionate gaze Do not cause a malfunction to the love program Type in encounters and separations well When the time comes, it ends Don't hurry!

I'm sure it's a translation choice but the idea of a "malfunction to the love program" is just perfection to me for UR. The part about this moment being a sudden kiss and a passionate gaze spoke to me, of course, because this is Kiyoomi and Atsumu's first kiss, as the result of a passionate gaze! LOL sometimes I'm so literal it hurts. The part about not hurrying is also so sweet. They both want this moment to last.

Chapter 21: Euphoria by BTS

Take my hands now You are the cause of my euphoria

Atsumu's always wanted someone to hold his hand. No one's ever understood him enough to want to touch him "for no reason." But Kiyoomi saw him struggling in his panic attack and reached out to him, offering to anchor him in his storm. Not only that, he reached for Atsumu on the street, to walk him home. It isn't just in times of crisis that Kiyoomi wants to ground him. He wants to be there for him always.

Chapter 22: Fall Into the Sky by Zedd, Lucky Date, Ellie Goulding

This song perfectly encapsulates the terror of running from the CorpsCorps and the excitement and anticipation of first-time intimacy. The driving beat, the breathlessness, the danger, the climax. It's all there.

Chapter 23: Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie

In this chapter, Atsumu reveals the reasons for his scars. This song is so hauntingly beautiful to me, and I've loved it ever since I heard it, nearly twenty years ago.

The reason it stands out to me is because Kiyoomi didn't just fuck him and leave. No. He's the first to stick around. Not only that, the only one to love Atsumu and want to be with him. To know all his secrets. To find out where his soul meets body. His first and always.

Chapter 24: Love by the Smashing Pumpkins

What I love about this song is how distorted it is, but how it's still about love. The crackle and static reminds me of the technological advancements Kiyoomi's using to make sure he can love Atsumu right. This line in particular stands out to me because Kiyoomi was lost in his vision (simulation) but now he has Atsumu in front of him, and he realizes pretty quickly that IRL surpasses the virtual, every single time.

Chapter 25: Titanium by David Guetta and Sia

This song reminded me of Atsumu's rant at work, because in his mania, he finds himself invincible, like nothing can hurt him. As we find out later, things can definitely hurt him. He's talking now, but not saying much. They fire him, and it's a relief. That job was sucking the life right out of him and he's glad to lose them. Fire away, fire away.

Chapter 26: Juban District by Ginger Root

I don't know where You've been out again sometimes But is it a shame To throw out the things you thought were right? Well I know what I can do I know what I can do I know what I can do I know what I can It's so good to get down at the Juban District I'm choked up but you'd maybe pass me up

Full disclosure: when they're at the Night Market, the live music is being performed by Ginger Root.

There was a band playing, a young guy with long straight black hair and thick fashionable glasses on a variety of keyboards and synths, backed by a bassist, drummer, and guitarist. People were dancing to the funky beat, although it lent itself to swaying artistically rather than any sort of specific steps.

Yeah. That's my guy. And Atsumu's dance to the beat? Chef's kiss.

Chapter 27: Miroh by Stray Kids

Lots of thorny vines, need to push down my cuts But there's no time to rest I'm alright, I'm holding on and I keep on going I just need to look ahead and run Run through the maze like a beast I'm avoiding all the familiar paths Though inexperienced, it's a new challenge Imma Bear Grylls anything that blocks my dream I'm going to eat it up I run, it's the adventure for my dream

This chapter is all about RUNNING. Running from the night market, running from the CorpsCorps, trying to find a safe place like rats in a maze. No time to rest. The prize at the end? A life free, full of art, love, creativity. A life worth living.

Chapter 28: In the Dark by Tiesto and Christian Burns

In this chapter, Kiyoomi is alone, in the quiet, in the dark. It's silent, it's not stimulating. It's nothing he's used to. He looks to Atsumu for comfort. Atsumu knows what loneliness is. And he holds his man, and helps him understand: we're in this together. We'll be together in the dark.

Chapter 29: Connection by Elastica

This chapter has two major connections. Tobio finds Kenma, which leads to the most powerful figures in the Hub joining forces. Later on, the connection between the CorpsCorps and Kiyoomi is revealed. Really, though, this song is more related to the former rather than the latter. I love the electronic buzz of the distorted guitar, it reminds me of a scratchy phone connection. And yeah, I know Kenma and Tobio aren't talking on the PHONE gaaah what YEAR IS IT but still. A connection is made.

Chapter 30: Malibu by Hole

This song is always bittersweet to me. There's a longing as well as a celebration. And that's what this chapter felt like to me. They're going to save the city, rescue everyone, but it's a huge risk. All they have is each other to rely on, to care for. It's true of both Atsumu and Kiyoomi and Tobio and Shouyou.

Chapter 31: Skin by Rihanna

So this is a realllllly sexy song. And honestly, this scene between Kiyoomi and Atsumu requires so much trust that my Demi heart might think it's the hottest one in the whole story. Kiyoomi's scared, but Atsumu keeps the lines of communication open, takes control, holds nothing back. Seriously if you haven't heard this song, make sure you're in private when you listen to it...

Chapter 32: Parallel Universe by Red Hot Chili Peppers

This song is a DRIVING SONG to me. Like, I just see the open road, hand on the steering wheel, wind in my hair. And in this chapter, Kiyoomi and Atsumu are driving back to the Hub, the unknown waiting for them. There's a suspense and drama to this song that I think is perfect for this chapter. Plus. This story is an AU. I couldn't resist parallel universe.

Chapter 33: Compliance by Muse

Ah, yes. The song from my trailer, that I heard one day at kickboxing and couldn't get out of my head. And two years later, here we are.

Obviously, Shikyo wants compliance. The whole CorpBoard does. And the question is: will Kiyoomi and Atsumu choose to live, even if it's as slaves? It's one thing to damn yourself to the recycler, but will Kiyoomi choose that fate for his love? Will he stay the Corps' toy soldier and continue to do their dirty work?

Chapter 34: Could You Be Loved by Bob Marley & the Wailers

This was the "breggae" song I was thinking of, when I wrote this chapter. Atsumu needs a ray of sunshine, and Shouyou sends him one, in the form of the song they'd always shared. In the darkness, there must be light. In this moment, Atsumu realizes he's not alone, that he's in prison with others who love just as much as he does. Ironically, he's sent to reeducation shortly afterward, so they do try to school him.

Chapter 35: Exit Music (for a Film) by Radiohead

This song has always haunted me. It's epic, but also melancholy. Which reminds me of Tobio heading off to save the world. Xe doesn't know if xe's coming out of this okay, but the overwhelming need to save the man xe loves outweighs any other consideration. I wanted to encompass the gravity of the situation, not just for those in prison, but those orchestrating the prison break.

Chapter 36: Robot Rock/ Oh Yeah by Daft Punk

I love the celebratory nature of this song. Because this chapter IS a celebration, both the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. The Bots and Humans are on the same side, at least, some of them are. More and more join together to make New Hub, every day.

Epilogue: Settle Down by Kimbra

Everything's settled now, here in the ending, and Kiyoomi and Atsumu may not have a family in the traditional sense, but they are raising a child together. What will the future hold? As long as they have each other, they'll face it with the same snark and hope that they faced their past.

Thank you, if you took the time to read these ramblings, and even more so if you read all nearly 200k of User Reviews. I worked harder on this story than I have on any other fic. None of the others got a playlist! This one is special. See you at the Night Market, y'all.

[butterflydm]

More WoT s2 thoughts based on the new pics

The last time I really speculated on anything WoT S2 was ten months ago, so it's very exciting to have new thoughts! So, thoughts based on the new pictures:

The first photo contains a lot of exciting new information: Ishy openly working with the Seanchan! In the book, this was represented as more of a metaphysical tie (as Rand fought against Ishamael in the sky, his battle mimicked the fight going on against the Seanchan on the ground) but Ishy being an ally or aligned with the Seanchan right away is very intriguing (and it makes me wonder: are we sure that Semirhage was one of the figurines represented by the prayer statuettes? Maybe Ishamael is taking over her storyline and we actually are going to get Mesaana in the White Tower; or it could be that the reins on the Seanchan get handed over to Semirhage in future seasons).

I love the Seanchan Look so much. The Teal/Rust color combination works really well for them and their look is just so unlike any of the other looks we've seen in the show. I love how Ishy's collar feels like it's evoking the same ribbed vibes as the Suroth's shoulder-gear. And we have a good look at a Voice here, potentially (since she has no long nails to indicate that she's of the Blood) -- not Alwhin, since she was chosen as Suroth's Voice post-Falme, iirc.

Loial being dressed up behind them is also very intriguing, and I wonder if he's going to be one of the ways that we'll find out more details about how Seanchan culture works through Loial's potential conversations with Suroth. There's so much information in this first still! Very exciting!

The Lan photo doesn't really give us any new information but he Looks Great. <3

The Moiraine photo has some neat things going on: Cairhienin fashion! Implied confirmation that Moiraine & Lan will be with Rand in Cairhien specifically (so my guess is that Verin will be introduced in Perrin's plotline and travel along with him). I love the belt, and we have the high collar for Cairhienin modesty, and the kesiera. It's also a Great Look.

My guesses for Egwene & Nynaeve is that they are both at the White Tower -- Egwene is doing some novice chores while Nynaeve is stripping down (maybe only to her shift and not all the way?) for the test to become Accepted.

The Mat photo is the same view that I think we got of him in the teaser trailer but he looks so sad! I want to give him hugs!

The Rand one is fun because it looks like he's already done his Cairhieinin arc, because that is a very fancy white collar that he has on underneath that cloak. So I think this is him entering Falme (I feel like the background also tracks for that).

Perrin with Aviendha and... I think the guy in the background is Masema? Aviendha is veiled and ready for a fight but Perrin does NOT look ready for a fight at all. Is this also Falme? This isn't when Loial was taken, because I think we saw that moment in the teaser trailer and it looked like it was out in a more rural-ish area, though that might be an angle issue.

People we did not get any hints of: no Elayne! I want my girl! But we also didn't get any hints of Padan Fain, which is intriguing. No Alanna or Min or Siuan this time.

But very exciting! September 1st! So excited to finally have a date!

[yostresswritinggirl]

Abandoned By The Altar

Part 3.1; were you really meant to be? VIBE

A timeline oriented story focused on your once perfect childhood relationship as Diluc’s bride to be, soon becoming estranged after the death of his father and his neglect. You only wish now that he looks at you the same way he did when you heard you were supposed to be together forever when you were young.

Pairings -> Diluc x Reader

Word Count -> 3510

Themes -> Reconciliation, Cyno was here, estranged relationships everywhereee

Series -> Part of Sojourner and Bonafide (event masterlist) Part 2

Warnings -> Goddamn violence

In the winery empire of the city of wine and freedom, this world is ruled by two unmatched tycoons that never fall from the top pedestal, with the mastery over wine-making and business marketing. Truly when it comes to this matter, Diluc Ragnvindr and (Y/N) (L/N) are the scariest and most charming duo to befall such economical prowess.

So when parties and gatherings are held in the Winery, noblemen and businessmen all over Teyvat scramble for a chance of invitation to level themselves to at least a humble chat with the prestigious business duo.

Yet even if they were witness, they will never be privy to the true secrets those two hold within.

"Apologies, esteemed guests. Master Diluc must excuse himself for a while," your stare shifted to the side over the rim of the glass you were cradling. His ruby eyes meeting yours after sparing the wine glass a stare, a meek nod you then reciprocate as he goes past your side with the Fatui Harbinger, the Seneschal and all other company joins him at a private room.

"But there is no cause for concern. The party shall continue under the supervision of the Mistress," you set down your drink upon hearing your name, stepping up to offer a humble yet radiant smile. You hope things work out on his end, was your thought as you finally entertained the remaining guests who recognize your prowess.

Behind your back you flicked your wrist as the Albino silently slinks away from the limelight to prepare.

The intervention was not as long as it was in terms, and yet the moment was painstakingly slow for your side. Many noblemen seeked not only your prestige as the master practitioner of economics but also the perfect wife ready for the taking. Your fingers uneasily fumble with the infinity ring on your hand, something they barely paid mind to as they continued their attempts to woo you, something you can only sigh over.

Unfortunately your 'relationship' with Diluc was still something only a few people know. There was no need to make it public yes, but it also caused a lot of unpleasant interactions that you wished you could easily avoid by telling, something you couldn't do to ensure your safety. Diluc was still a huge mystery to you despite the assurance of your encounter in the garden of cecilias.

But you thought to yourself with a sigh, a promise ring is different from an engagement ring.

A hand suddenly slides around your shoulder as you were distracted, and your head whipped to the side where the presence was with your elbow read to break a rib- "I hope I'm not intervening an important discussion," Diluc’s eyes bore straight ahead to the Fontaine businessman you were half-heartedly conversing with and your arm immediately drops to your side, "But I must discuss an urgent matter with the lady as well."

The Fontainian grumbles as he pries his head away from the hand on your head, producing his best smile in forced understanding as Diluc sweeps you away to the back. This is for a serious matter but the consistent grip on your shoulder had your mind reeling. It was only when he revealed his equipped Delusion did you have the mind to finally focus and work on your own attire.

"Guards! Take down the assassin!"

The blunt end of your polearm smacks painfully against the back of the chest plate of the guards, knocking three out as you look over to the Darknight to see him dispose the two nearest him. You then watch in awe as he summons chains from thin air, gripping them as he expertly throws it at the escaping Master Krupp, and like a lasso he was captured by the slithering cage.

Diluc's power always intrigued you since the day you were first witness of it. Not a Vision but definitely not far from it. He's also in the dark of its true meaning but even you know that he had a little bit of information from his four years of isolation, something he didn't want to tell you.

As your raise your head from staring at his Delusion, hearing their grunts of interviews, a glint to your right suddenly alerted you of another presence. "Wait-!"

"Master's planning to-"

You muffled your horrified gasp at the sight of the blood shooting out of Krupp's side, your polearm shakes in your hand before tightening your grip once again as you two turn to the assassin. Il Dotorre stands there in great poise two giant needles hovering by his sides.

He just killed his own companion, such thoughts made your face twist under the black veil that covers your identity as much as it could. And those thoughts distracted you from the one-sided conversation in front of you, "Keep up the good work and hone your unimpressive powers.

But this visionless one," an arm slinks around your waist in a blink, a masked face inches away from yours that forced you to hold your breath, "is much more remarkable than you."

Before Diluc could even reprimand him, he disappears within seconds after bidding his farewell. And your knees would have buckled if not for your fiancé catching you in the nick of time, collapsing at the tense situation that had passed.

You could have died like Krupp.

But the feeling of Diluc's arms squeezing you protectively reminds you of your existence.

Not even a day old of cecilias were swept off the stone slab in place of newly harvested ones, both batches can be mistaken to be the same with how healthy they still seem to be. This was Diluc's observation as he watches you replace the flowers on his father's grave. Crepus Ragnvindr.

Perhaps it was his own neglect and adamant refusal that made him forget about this isolated cemetery. He expected the grave keeper or at least a member of the Winery to keep it well-kept, not you who seems to have come to this place on a daily basis.

The smile he enjoys and dreads is wiped from your face as you offer a silent prayer. Eyes closed and hands together. Next to you Diluc only stands with his arms crossed as his gaze continues to linger at the engraved words.

Lisa was at the mansion earlier to investigate about the recent Fatui incident, and as the interrogation ensued by the gazebo of the Cecilia gardens, Diluc realized that you lingered in the distance to eavesdrop. In the span since your arrival and before his, did anyone else explain the accident to you? What did you hear? Did anyone actually tell you anything?

And maybe these questions were the reason that he willingly accepted your invitation to visit his father's grave just like that.

Four years without your constant touch and smiles had broken Diluc into who he is now, an empty shell of a man who once had high hopes. A helpless puppet who struggles to grasp the man he was before. And as he moves closer enough for your shoulders to touch, it was an unconscious gesture that cries for your help in the turmoil that spirals in his head.

But when you look at him with a reassuring smile— Diluc's walls fortified by four years of hatred and isolation all came crashing down with the heavy wave of his tears. The pain of that day pours out of his lips as he felt small within your arms, eyes painfully avoiding your face.

The true story of his father's death, the disaster that lead to his resignation from Ordo Favonius, his quest to find answers in all the years he had abandoned his life in Mondstadt.

There were details that you were unaware was truncated from his confessions, the only ones that mattered were those he spilled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," words the both of you repeated for the pain you two couldn't confide to with one another ever since that day.

No, things wouldn't be fixed in one day. Hearts destroyed for years cannot be melded back today, but it is that moment that solidifies the trust between you two:

That deep within the abyss of your souls lie the desperate desire to reach out to one another like they used to before.

The petals of the Cecilias on Crepus' gravestone tilts in respect, but within it blooms a new hope you were both not witness to.

Only the elderly and close acquaintances knew of your original existence in Mondstadt, and only a few ever recognizes your prior occupation and childhood before you left for Sumeru. Even if you had only been gone for two years, changes so drastic happened in your wake.

The most painful one always lingers in the back of your mind, never failing to bring a frown to your face.

"You loved Ludi Harpastum when we were children, so what's with the long face?" Your eyes that lingered on Amber and her new friend looks up to the ones next to you, eyes also distant as it comes upon yours.

You couldn't tell him or even ask about Crepus, not now at least. But the words he spoke washed away the melancholy off your face, smile brightened at the idea that he still remembers such precious memories. He looks away immediately. "I do, but I'm not a kid anymore, the festival caters to children's participation."

Diluc hums in agreement and the talk ceases like so. He's not into small talk but the short conversation still had you feeling light and euphoric.

Soon enough Amber had come over to introduce the two of you to her demure friend Collei, shy and hesitant but still trying her best to be polite. An imagined arrow pierces through your heart at the cute child in front of you, and you couldn't help but coo and oogle at her.

So adorable with beautiful green hair, unique and paired perfectly with her wide eyes. Every compliment makes her face redder. This only makes your fangirling worse, already hugging the flustered child who's having an internal mental breakdown.

"Oh, I wish I could have a child as pretty as youuu!"

Amber looked up upon the sudden shift of his posture, absolutely baffled at the sight of Master Diluc's face as colorful as his hair as his gloved hand desperately tries to hide it. The knight felt like she had witnessed something she shouldn't, immediately snapping her head back to you and Collei with her lips trying its hardest not to break into a smile.

You were on your knees to be eye-level with Collei as you held her hand, placing on it a bag of mora as you told her to use it to enjoy the most out of the festival. Her previous embarrassment still lingers as evidence on her still flushed cheeks, yet her eyes had in it a gaze of awe.

There was hesitance when Amber finally dragged Collei away to venture through the festival more, leaving you in exaggerated tears at the departure of 'a little angel' with a still silent Diluc next to you. The sun had already set, and yet you two stood in place for a little longer.

The thought of having children passing by your minds.

If there's a recipe for a good time in Angel's Share, Kaeya knows what it is.

A cold glass of Death After Noon, raucous laughter spurred on by joyous tunes, and just the right company. It was a while since he'd last felt such comfort with company, he thought as he holds back a smile and grimace as he sips the sour grape juice in his mouth, eyes twinkling as he watches your already flushed face intensify as you down your drink.

When Kaeya had heard from multiple yet scarce accounts from the servants of the Winery on how you act drunk, he felt it was his mission and privilege to find out how such moment happens. And so one night when you two had the time to sit down at Angel's Share, what should have been a night of a single drink and grape juice after switched around to nothing but liquor.

"You've been looking at us weird the whole day, do you want to fight?" The Cavalry Captain reached for your hand to settle down your glass, but when you literally threw your drink against the wall with a loud bang, he knew he was done for when at his peripherals he saw the horrified look of your Fiancé as he was immediately alerted with the breaking of glass.

"Oh shit, she's feral," Kaeya breathed incredulously with a small, small hint of awe as he watched you pull up your sleeves to throw hands.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Luluuuu!" The swordsman did NOT miss the minute detail of Diluc's red stare recognizing the switched drinks on the table, exposing his involvement on the matter. If it were not for your intoxicated self barreling towards your fiancé, he would have been given a scalding glare.

A jumbled mess of a conversation transpired before the captain, made up of hushed grumbles and slurred whines sometimes filled with begging or with rage from the random person you'd set pure hatred upon seconds ago. Your hand clutched his sleeve as his other one was placed on your shoulder to ground you, somehow this proximity and interaction... made Kaeya remember the first time he met you.

"Alright, that should be enough for tonight," the third wheel clapped his gloved hands together as he stood from his table. "This commotion is on me, I'll take her home-"

"What gave you the idea that I'd let you?"

The same hostility that started four years ago made the man of frost- freeze where he stood, challenging the accusing glare with a playful squint. The mini stand-off already made the other patrons too curious as all attention was caught by the trio, while you had your face buried to Diluc's fluffy ponytail as his bargaining chip for calming/distracting you.

Diluc isn't familiar with taking care of a drunkard, only kicking them out. If he were to leave you at your current state, he'd be clueless as is on the mistakes that would pile up.

Kaeya raised this point as he reached over to take your arm, the redhead publicly wrapping his arms around you protectively in response. The blunette wasn't even wary of the increasing agitation his sworn brother wore but the scandalous gasps and gossips the customers around them now speak at the action.

Get a grip, Diluc, you wanted to keep this hidden, didn't you? By some miracle, he managed to communicate this telepathically through side glances and gritted teeth.

But if there was one thing the Ragnvindr had inherited from being with you for more than ten years:

It was your stubbornness.

...

When you roused from your slumber, you were in an unusual place yet one so familiar. The nostalgia hit you tenfold more than the headache your hangover dangerously inflicted, "How did I get here even?" It was four years since you've last seen this place, set foot in this room even.

The moonlight hitting through the room's balcony tells you it's around midnight.

The room didn't change a bit last you remember it, as if it was well-kept despite being abandoned. The lamp that was tilted a little bit, books of stories you've read long ago were arranged the same way you'd left it. Not a single dust catches on to your soles as your feet touched the wooden floor of your room in the Ragnvindr's home.

It was still creaky at some parts of which you expertly maneuvered around bare, shoes discarded in place for stealth as you exited to the corridor. No sounds or light emanates from the underside of Diluc's room across from yours, without checking you weaved through the hall to climb down the main stairs.

You find your man seated by the fireplace. You may not live here anymore but even you were well aware of his insomnia that stretches past sunrise.

"You're awake," he speaks when you reached the main floor.

"Look who's talking," you mumbled cheekily as you sat adjacent to him, noticing his quick glance at your bare feet.

Tight lipped as it may, you saw a little quirk to the edges of his lips that lifted up your spirits through the small chatter and mostly silent time after that. The crackles and embers of the furnace was good company too, and yet it was not enough to distract you from the obvious stare he was giving to your leg.

Anxiously you hid one your foot behind the other, folding your legs under the chair's shadow when his gaze didn't waver. Perhaps it wasn't that bright of an idea to leave your room barefoot, maybe it was too childish, for him especially if it was bothering this much.

You opened your mouth to excuse yourself, or maybe defend your actions,

"Can I touch you? Nothing- Nothing sexual, there's just something I need go check."

You didn't have to ask, was what you wanted to say. But you held back your tongue in favor of giving a meek nod, curious and faintly doubtful of whatever it is that he would do.

Yet when he kneeled down and gently took your leg upon his hold, you can't help but smile solemnly as his gloved touch reached your thigh where the scar from long ago lingers. Diluc's eyes stayed on that spot, soothing the long lost pain with rubbing circles.

Ticklish, as he leans down to graze a soft kiss to it. It almost made you cry with how gentle this Diluc is in front of you.

"I promise... I'll do better. With every heartbeat I have left, I will defend your every breathe."

You're crying now.

One faithful morning in a miraculous setting where Diluc was the only one available to tend to the reception, a young man presents himself by the entrance with a passive look. This unfamiliar man was someone he knew, something he realized when he finally looked down for a better view past the black hood.

"I am here in the guidance of an old address. Is this where (Y/N) (L/N)?"

"I'm (Y/N)'s fiancé, what do you want?"

"... That does not answer my question, but I am only here to see how life has been faring since two years past."

Diluc never felt discomfort in silence as heavy as this. Having to walk with Cyno the whole way to Mondstadt from the Winery was not part of his itinerary, nor did he wholy agree to the arrangement. Perhaps it was because he knew how you two were good friends back from his 'observations' in the Academia that he felt responsible.

Or it was his pride to not let the shorter guy know that you were in fact, not resident to his home despite being betrothed.

It would have been very weird.

"What the actual- Cyno?! Is that really you?!" Why you were near the gates that day was a mystery to them both, but at the sight of the familiar figure had you barreling towards the foreigner, tackling him into a hug with a laugh so carefree it almost pained him.

That was your signature move to when you always met him excitedly in your childhood. Diluc shakes away the thought as he stood at the side to watch and eavesdrop. You're around the same height as the Sumerian, although the hood and ears? makes it hard to distinguish who was taller between you two.

"What are you doing so far out from the Academia? Aww, did you miss me?" Playful as always to those you are close to.

Scarlet eyes found its way to him in a split second. "I came here under the request of Lisa, she needed scholarly help over an important matter," your pout had him smile a tiny bit, "but it is relieving to meet you once again."

In a honesty, it was a curious case as to why he was even there, lingering. He has work to do, the Tavern's first shift was his. But when he took a step away Diluc found it very difficult to leave you be, to leave you with this... person.

He has no business here.

He shouldn't idle.

He's not the type to idle.

You turn your head at the sound of footsteps as you realized Diluc approaching, who you honestly thought already departed during your reunion with Cyno. "Ah, senpai, I wanted to introduce to you my-" full and pale lips captured your words in a quick swift dip, a grip on your waist to steady you before he stood back too quick for you to react.

"I'll get going, stay safe."

Quick and concise like his kiss, Diluc left in hurried steps as you stood there, a mess. He'd never- he has never-

"How amusing," the words the Sumerian uttered barely registered into your short-circuiting brain.

I can't believe this. I'm actually cutting this to a fourth part what the fuck, I swear the next one is the last,holy-

@optimestick @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @creation-magician @hanniejji @gojos-baby @just-some-stars @volleybloop @mortifiedmoon @dankchikorita @endeavors-big-dick @karlitaburrito @bunniesrorange

[itsbeenahellofayear]

what we got, it don't come easy

Summary: Some things are easy, some things aren't. It can take time to learn what is important.

Warnings: Smut. Maybe not as much as you'd expect from a story thats pretty much only about sex. Some feelings. Language.

Author's Note: It took a while to get this one across the line. The first segment has been written for weeks, but I lacked inspiration, motivation, and was a little burnt out on anything Leaf related for a little bit there. RIP 2021 season....

Thanks to all of you who kept checking in and were enthusiastic about the little snippet I posted. Kind of kicked my writing into gear today!

I crave your feedback - this is weird and disjointed and very personal in a lot of ways, so I'd love to hear what you think!

---

Sex with Auston is easy - that's never been the issue between you.

This thing started with sex - you connected on tinder, got to talking for a couple of days, then went out for drinks.... That wound up with him in your bed, having arguably the best sex of your life.

That first night, lying hot and sweaty and completely satiated, you'd be lying if the thought didn't cross your mind that you could do this for the rest of your life.

It was that good.

-

You don't keep a list of things to try, but you kind of keep a list of things to try.

-

Some things that make the sex with Auston so good:

He's the first guy to encourage you to use your vibrator on your clit while he's fucking you - it's not every single time - sometimes coordination isn't possible when he's fucking into you so good but those times when he's pressing deep into you, hands on your breasts, grip firm just the way you like, and you've just got your vibe pressed to your clit on a low setting and you just shake apart.... Those are good times.

His dick is huge. Like he's big to start, but then he grows. It honestly took a bit of work to find angles that didn't have him ramming your cervix each time, but once you did... He fills you up so good.

He loves to eat you out. You've had your fair share of mediocre oral, but there's something about the way he just goes for it, lets you twist your fingers in his too long hair, makes these little noises into you, that just really does it for you. He'll open you up with his thumbs and just dive his tongue deep inside of you, then move up and basically caress your clit with his tongue. If you're honest you can't even fathom what he's actually doing, it just feels insane.

He lets you ride his face. Now, it's not an every time thing, mostly because if you're going to expend energy on riding him, really what you want is his cock buried inside your aching slit. But sometimes, he'll settle himself on the bed, and you'll just climb on top of him, grip the headboard, and just ride.

-

You might love him.

(Maybe that's why it's good)

-

So the sex has never been the problem.

The problem lies in the in between bits.

In the moments when you're feeling insecure about his fame, and his looks, and the company he keeps. You're not a party girl - you'll go out to the bar once in a while, but people, everywhere, is not really your scene. You know he likes to go out, especially after wins. You know he likes to drink. And sure, sometimes he'll text you, and he'll end up at your place late at night. But sometimes he won't. And so you wonder.

It's also the moments where he just shuts down, internalizes, and won't communicate. You're not one for talking about your feelings, but you do believe in communicating when it's about things that affect someone else! Case in point: you send him a message in the morning on what you know is his off day - he doesn't even read it let alone respond until 8pm. You had asked him if he wanted to meet up for afternoon drinks.

It's also the moments when he says stupid immature shit, when you realize that, no matter how great a family he comes from, he's still a rich, entitled man-child that doesn't really understand the value of a dollar. And that irks you.

A lot.

-

But.

You're just fooling around - keeping it casual.

But.

-

He takes you out to the cottage with some of his boys. The season ended in heartbreak, they're splitting up for the summer, they want to blow off some steam.

You spend the days lazing by the lake, lying in hammocks in the yard, sneaking off for a "picnic" in the woods. And by picnic you mean Auston laid you out on a blanket and ate you out until you couldn't take it.

You spend the nights getting high sitting out by the fire, leaving unsubtly to go back inside to fuck.

It's probably around day 3 when you realize you're legitimately, 100% in love with this guy.

Day 5 you head back to the city, and haven't really talked to him about how you feel.

He leaves for Arizona the next morning.

-

He's not your boyfriend.

He doesn't know you fell for him.

-

The first night you had sex with him – the first night of the rest of your life – you remember thinking you've never felt this full.

Now, months later, you feel like you're empty.

Anytime you think of him, it's like your pussy just clenches involuntarily around what it thinks should be there, inside of you.

You want him so badly, so deeply, and you don't even have a real claim to him because you couldn't open up and tell him that something had changed.

You catch yourself scrolling insta late at night, looking to see if he's posted something that might hint he's out with someone else.

You hate that you're like this.

-

(You never see anything, for the record)

-

He comes back to Toronto in August.

That honestly catches you by surprise.

More so because you're just home on a Saturday afternoon, watching TV when he knocks on your door. Pretty much the last person you were expecting to see, but you can't deny that your heart ends up in your throat at the sight of him, tanned, bulked up, and looking at you like THAT.

"What..." you start.

"Faith" he breathes out.

You don't understand.

He walks forward into your apartment, crowding you back against the other wall of your tiny entryway.

You're still so caught up in him being here. The way he said your name...

You look up at him.

He just presses himself against you and crushes you to him in a hug. You feel him everywhere. The faint spicy scent of his cologne, the heat of his body, the puff of his breath against your neck where his head is pressing.

Engulfed - your brain provides.

"I missed you" he mutters into your neck.

-

Your brain is going a mile a minute.

How is he here? Why didn't he tell you he was coming back? He doesn't need to be back for weeks. Why is he here? What is happening?

You push him back a little. Not off of you entirely, just enough to give you some space to breathe.

"Auston, what?" You try again.

He looks down at you.

Swallows.

"I..." He starts.

Swallows again.

"I needed to see you, Faith."

He looks... Nervous?

"Aus... What's going on?" You ask him, heart racing out of your chest.

He swears.

"I might be reading this thing wrong, this thing we have, but... I want you to be mine."

You feel like you've been hit with a brick.

All you can do is stare at him as your mind struggles to keep up. You feel yourself reaching for him.

"Aus. Yes. Of course."

He blinks. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You reach for his hand and pull him to the bedroom.

-

Sex is easy, with you and Auston.

You've never been afraid to ask for what you want. He's never been shy to ask for what he wants. And usually that lines up.

But for the first time since all this started, you feel almost shy with him.

Without discussing it, you both get naked pretty damn quickly. There's a second or twenty where you're just looking at him, drinking in his broad shoulders, his stomach muscles, his trim hips and his thick thighs. God, do you want him.

You might say that last part out loud, from the way he laughs and just picks you up and tosses you on the bed.

You've been soaked since you opened your door, and you're impatient to feel him again. He looks at you and you just whimper his name and he smiles, hitches up your legs, and slides slowly, so slowly, inside you

“Fuck, Aus" you hear yourself.

"You feel so good, baby" he groans out, letting you get used to him stretching you out, leaning down to press a filthy open-mouthed kiss to your lips. He bites at your lips as he starts to move, driving into you in a rhythm that makes you feel so good, hitting you just right.

It’s not enough.

But before you can say anything, Auston pulls back, and changes the angle that your hips are lined up with his and suddenly he’s impossibly deeper, and you just can’t breathe with how good he feels and his hands are on your breasts, and he’s pinching your nipples just right, and you are moaning his name almost like a prayer, and it just slips out.

“Aus, I love you.”

You don’t even realize what you said until he stills for a moment, eyes snapping to yours, and he makes this noise.

“Do you mean it,” he asks.

Its not the time for it, but you’re never going to be his open another time so… “Yeah.”

“God, baby. Yes. I love you too. It’s why I came back. I just wasn’t sure…”

He moves back so he can kiss you, deep and filthy. You feel him, deep inside you, and you just… cling to him. He starts fucking into you in earnest - hard and fast, kissing you the whole time, though it ends up being more like just panting into each others mouths but you can’t get enough of him.

“I’m so close,” you manage to get out.

Auston gets a hand between you and presses his thumb to your clit and you just hear yourself keening.

“I love how you feel around me,” he groans out. “Come for me.”

It doesn’t take long.

You shake apart underneath him, and you feel him pulse inside you and it’s just so much and you can feel tears leaking out from the corner of your eyes, and you just feel so much in that moment.

It’s so much.

-

So sex has never been an issue.

But now it is so much more.

[goldenkirstein]

hello raf!!! first off, I wanna say that I love your blog and your fics. tysm for sharing them with us you are incredibly talented!

second, do you have other blog/moot recommendations for users who write for jean x reader? I wanna follow all of you you're all so amazing!

only if you can! :) have a nice night!

hi nonnie !! ty for the kind words!! yes i do, some of these are my moots, some are not but regardless they are all incredibly talented writers. there are so so so many writers that have jean fics, but i chose these ones because they have more than a few jean x reader !! these are also just based on my preferences, so if there is a writer not included here, i apologize !!

Please read all of these authors rules/dni’s as ik a few of them interact or post dark content and are 18+ blogs !! respect writers and their rules !!

@whats-her-quirk - what can i say that hasn’t been said, literally the reason i write on here and responsible for the first jean x reader fic i ever read, i love june. Absolutely phenomal, so fucking cool and talented. her writing makes me happy, to put it simply.

my fave fic: midnight ride & below freezing

@jean-does-not-have-a-horseface - the username speaks for itself, again i read her fics when i still was a ghost blog so i am quite sentimental lol, i think she might be working on a jean rockstar au series, im not sure tho, but regardless just a super talented writer !!

my fave fic: sketches of you

@welcometotheclubhoe - jay, oh my god, i love them and their blog, all of their jean fics are so. fucking. amazing. like chef’s kiss, have me sweating, screaming and crying, genuinely need to take a five minute break to walk around my room and contemplate the meaning of life. so yeah, jay’s a jeanius (shhhh i know its cringe)

@bakugohoex - a fellow jean simp, ria is not only the sweetest but just so fucking good at writing jean, fluff, angst and smut, her brain is so big because she’s responsible for one my favourite jean series and playlist tbh ahem:

my fave fic: stay & put on a show

@mikaberries - Mika is also one of the first aot writer blogs I followed, I found her first on tiktok and then followed here. super fucking talented, idk how she does it tbh. also just an all around good person and very sweet, I have nothing but respect and praise for her and her work.

my fave fic: innocent & car quickie

my fave fic: unrequited series

@fiaficsxo - i love fia and her writing, she is so talented and just an absolute gem. she also happens to be another fellow jean simp, which i love ffhkjhg. but fr her jean smut leaves me sweating. 

my fave fic: jersey girl

@seraphdreams - title of blog: jean love club. thats it. what more can i say. ceo of jean simping and being just remarkable, like honestly, seraph was the first one who popped into my mind when i read ur ask nonnie. do me a favour and read all of their jean fics, you will become enlightened.

my fave fic: mornings w/ jean & face sitting

@alert-arlert - genuinely adore ryn, for their writing and their presence here, i really love their headcanons for jean and honestly aside from fics, i really do get happy when i see them on my dash, coolest person ever omg, follow them for the vibes and the amazing writing

my fave fic: jean relationship hc’s & nsfw alphabet

@odmlevis: riz my loveeeee, so talented and so amazing, top notch writing and top notch person, i admire her so much, made me fall in love with fuckboy jean what more can i sayyyyy

my fave fic: jean + friends to lovers & falling in love w/ fuckboy jean

@dancingazaleas - crazy fucking talented, i cannot believe that i can just go to their blog and read for free. like i astral projected when i first read their work, transcended planes, i was dr. strange for like three minutes, thats what sorrels writing did to me. so go forth nonnie, unlock the secrets of the universe.

my fave fic: primrose & obedience (includes eren n mikasa)

@jarmeen: i love jas, they are sooooooo cool and their writing is just next level. just a super sweet individual, and helloooo read the title of their blog, and then read it again because they are right and everyone should go read their works !!

my fave fic: see you again

@valxeren: dilf jean. thats it. two words. deserves the nobel prize just for writing those fics, tbh tht shit changed my life, i was wandering my dashboard lost and unmotivated and then val graced me with dilf jean and im a better person now

my fave fic: clandestine

@kirschtienz: aman makes me happy, i love her, and her writing so much, if i were to choose a piece of writing to hug, it would be hers. i could go for days just praising her and still wouldn’t be enough, like the way she writes is just incredible

my fave fic: frats with benefits

@emepe: i thought to myself one day, hmm it would be nice to have friends to lovers fics for jean, and then tumblr said raf, baby, let me show u something and they pointed me towards mimi and said here is the answer to all your prayers. idk how to thank tumblr but fr only two chapters in and IM HOOKED. go read nonnie, goooo.

my fave fic: you and me and nothing more (includes eren)

i have realized that a good handful of these are smutty bshdsbhbf sorry not sorry. again, im so sorry if i missed anyone these are the writers that i could think of at the moment, and if you yourself are a writer then know that i love you and respect youuuu !!

happy reading nonnie :)

[thetrap]

why i think deancas just might go canon

i’ve been wanting to write this for a bit, but i haven’t really had the time until now. basically this is just a super unorganized collection of thoughts i have on why i think that dean and castiel actually have a fairly decent shot of becoming canon (and by decent shot i mean like.....a solid 5% chance. and that’s being generous). this is based off of the show itself (obviously), quotes from andrew dabb, and other things.

1. andrew dabb is deancas positive

i made a post a while back that never made it out of the drafts, but it was basically a summation of all the good deancas shit dabb has given us as a writer. here are the bullet points:

- the hug/"i'm not leaving here without you!" moment in purgatory (8x02) 

- "don't lose it over one man"

- "he's in love.....with humanity"

- cas/colette parallel ("dean. stop.") in 10x22

- just the fight scene from the prisoner in general like......wow

- sam/jess and dean/cas parallel in 12x23

- "we've lost everything......and now, you're gonna bring him back" + dean's just generally overwhelming grief in 13x01

- "and how is it that you lost dean? i thought the two of you were joined at the.....you know, everything"

and these are just the big moments.

also notable is the fact that an activist sent dabb (and some of the other producers of spn i think) a book about dean and cas and why the fans want it/why it would be a good thing for the show. a few years later, meghan fitzmartin (who wrote the most recent episode!) was hired as dabb’s assistant, went into his office and posted a tweet a with pictures of the book, saying something along the lines of “doing some reading for work!”

the fact that dabb actually kept a fanmade deancas book for years.....the fact that he’s consistently written episodes with really strong subtext for years.....the fact that the dean and castiel romantic tension has only picked up since he took over as showrunner (mixtape, lily sunder, cas’s death, dean’s grief arc, the entirety of season fifteen, etc.)......idk i just think it’s really interesting that there has been such a marked shift since he was put in charge.

2. the mixtape

i know this was a few seasons ago, but it’s still relevant because like. a mixtape is not platonic. this scene was not platonic. full-stop.

and it’s not even the act by itself; it’s also the dialogue!! “it was a gift. you keep those.” this is more than likely a direct callback to aragorn and arwen in lord of the rings (that’s the first thing i thought of, at least).

the fact that dabb let this slide, like......he knows what this looks like. berens and glynn, who wrote this episode, know what it looks like. they knew precisely how this would be perceived, and then wrote and aired the scene anyways.

and that’s not even getting into the camerawork. like what?? was this shot???

yeah so. definitely not platonic.

3. the trap

honestly i thought about just posting this part of this overlong essay thing, because to me, this is the episode where i went okay, so this might actually happen.

there are SO many things in this episode that made me go insane the first time i watched it (”i left, but you didn’t stop me”) but the thing that stuck out to me the most was dean’s reaction to castiel saying, “you don’t have to say it. i heard your prayer,” when dean tries to tell him something.

like?????? he does not look relieved!! nor does he look particularly happy!!

hell, if you go back and watch the video you can literally see him swallow his words down like....jensen ackles is the master of micro expressions and that shit is Not Accidental. this moment 100% gives the vibe that there is something that is not being said. the camera following dean as he gives cas a lingering look is really interesting too.

3. dabb’s comments about dean and cas in season 15

this part is actually sort of related to the point above, since a lot of dabb’s comments are in reference to “the trap.” here are some interesting ones that i want to point out:

But the Leviathan won’t be the focal point of the purgatory story. Rather, it’s about what Dean and Castiel are going through. “They’re not going to resolve the emotional stuff, but it allows them to redefine their friendship a little bit in light of what’s happened especially earlier this season,” Dabb says. (x)

the key thing here is that dabb said that, in 15x09, dean and cas are “not going to resolve the emotional stuff.”

now. i don’t know about you, but dean falling to his knees, praying to cas and weeping feels a lot like emotional resolution to me. like, sure, things will probably be awkward between them for a while, but surely this is the peak moment of their emotional vulnerability with each other, right? surely this is the moment where they’ve resolved the issue between them? like how the fuck does it get more intensely emotional than this??

yet dabb seems to be implying that it will, which leaves us with the million dollar question: what is left about dean and cas’ relationship to resolve?

keep in mind that as of 15x16, there hasn’t been much forward movement on that front; that is, we’ve had some cute moments between them, but in terms of serious conversation about their relationship, there’s been basically nothing. so we can assume that this development, whatever it is, will occur in 15x18, since dean and cas will be separated for most of 15x17, as cas will be off with sam.

aka the episode where cas will likely get yanked away by the empty. aka the episode with the teary (!!!) conversation we saw in the promo between dean and cas.

also notable from the above quote is dabb saying that dean and cas are redefining their friendship. like....redefining how? to what?? that wording is just really interesting to me.

another quote from dabb re “the trap”:

(x)

it forces them to “start that process.” indicating yet again that the prayer scene between dean and cas is not the moment where whatever is between them is resolved. yet, from where we are right now, dean and cas seem mostly fine. which means that whatever they have yet to work out doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with their fight.

lastly:

a really significant chunk of what happens to dean in 15x09 is him confronting his issues with cas. don’t get me wrong - there are other important things that happen in the episode - but the fact that an episode where so much time/emotional energy is given to dean and cas’ dynamic is considered a turning point for dean is very notable and, to me, speaks to the importance of their relationship for the rest of the season.

4. dean/cas and sam/eileen being set up as units

i’m of the opinion that sam and dean will (by choice) go their separate ways at the end of the show. i think this for a variety of reasons that i wrote about here, and to add onto this, i think that dean/cas and sam/eileen are, in a way, being set up as two units.

this theory comes from two points:

1. the fact that eileen got brought back at all

this isn’t to say that eileen isn’t an interesting character all on her own/outside of her romance with sam, but the fact that they brought her back and then proceeded to set her up in this romance feels really significant to me. what’s especially interesting is how, even after she leaves in 15x09, we get a continuation of their romance in 15x14. i don’t necessarily think that she’s sam’s endgame in the sense that the final episode will show sam going to her or whatever, but i do think that part of the reason she was brought back was so that sam would have someone who he loves/someone he could potentially build a life with after he and dean defeat chuck.

2. the way the two couples were portrayed in “the trap”

like....just watch the future scenes in the bunker. there’s very much a sense that these are two couples living together. and “ever since the mark made cas go crazy, ever since i had to bury him in a ma’lak box.” note the use of i, not we. and then dean/cas and sam/eileen are directly paralleled when dean tells sam he needs to give it up after eileen’s death, comparing it to how dean has given it up after having to bury cas in the ma’lak box.

5. dean does not do Well without cas

this is probably an understatement. there have been a couple of notable instances in this season where the viewer is given a glimpse of what happens to dean when cas dies/is in danger of death/is separated from dean (in case the whole ass widower arc in s13 wasn’t enough).

two of these are from “the trap”:

1. dean freaking out/crying/praying when he’s separated from cas in purgatory

2. dean giving up on life/hunting after burying cas in the ma’lak box in the future world

3. dean’s reaction to cas temporarily going to the empty in 15x13

the one i want to spend the most time on is number two, in large part because sam was witness to it and i think that this might get brought up in 15x17.

part of my spec for that episode is that cas will tell sam about his deal/sam will find out somehow, and in reaction sam might tell cas about how dean reacted to his death in s13 - a conversation that was notably absent from the show when cas finally returned in 13x05. i also think that he might mention no. 2 above, basically telling cas that if he dies, dean is done. that he won’t be able to handle it/move past it. the show has been telling us this over and over for a while now, and it’s only been emphasized more in season 15. i think that 15x17 is the episode where this will finally be verbally expressed.

to me, all of this emphasis on dean giving up when cas is gone isn’t for nothing. in my opinion, it’s being done very purposefully to set up an endgame where dean and cas are together in some sense of the word. and a lot of what i’ve said above is what makes me think it’ll be a Romantic together.

5. bobo berens’ three part deancas saga

so we all know that berens is pretty much spn’s foremost deancas warrior, and what i want to point out here is how this season has been utilizing him as a writer.

this season, berens has three solo episodes (he wrote “galaxy brain” with meredith glynn):

1. the rupture

2. the trap

3. despair (formerly known as “the truth”)

so far, these first two episodes have had major deancas moments. you could even label them as:

1. the rupture (the breakup)

2. the trap (the reconciliation)

3. depair (???)

keep in mind also that berens wrote 14x18, where the dean and cas sort of had a preliminary breakup. he’s been in charge of this arc for a while, and the fact that so much of his writing this season has been deancas focused.......i don’t know, i just think it’s significant in part because, while berens has always been deancas positive, he also writes plenty of episodes that aren’t focused on dean and cas. but now, in the final season, the dean and cas emotional arc has been handed to him, and it’s been the primary focus on his writing.

(sidenote: berens was promoted to executive producer for this final season)

to me, this is all leading to a big moment between dean and cas in 15x18 - and the fact that it was at one point called “the truth,” only to be switched back to despair - makes me think that there will be some sort of confession involved. my money is on cas being the one to say it (especially since this would line up with the leak), especially given the glimpse we saw of (what might be) this moment in the promo. which leads me to...

6. cas does not cry

i saved this for last because the promo where we see teary-eyed cas is actually what pulled me back into this shitshow.

cas does not cry. like. ever. he got a little teary in 15x15, when jack told him of his plan to sacrifice himself, but we have never - never - seen him shed actual tears. and in the promo, particularly that shot where cas says “you have fought for this whole world,” it 100% looks like cas is about to cry cry.

cas has seen his son die. he has seen dean die. he died himself, over and over and over. and we have never seen him cry.

yet for some reason, in this moment of vulnerability with dean, he’s crying. i find it highly unlikely that cas would cry because of his impending death, for a number of reasons (for one, he wouldn’t want to upset dean more than he has to). so, assuming he’s not crying because of his own death, then what is making cas so emotional that he is genuinely crying for the first time in the twelve seasons he has been on the show?

my guys.....i can only think of one thing.

[mistresstrevelyan]

Another update on my Dad

Warning: It’s really, REALLY bad. (He’s still with us though) I’m putting it under a cut for reasons.

I don’t even know how to write this. My heart has been so numb and yet I’ve cried so much since yesterday.

So originally we had hoped that my Dad’s cancer was taken care of with the radiation therapy he had had a few months ago. There had been no negative reports, even the friend who temporarily took care of him felt relieved enough by his improvement to fly back home to Spain to sort out some adulting. (And I don’t blame her at all) Now remember how my sister called Austria’s version of 911 bc his speech was diminished and he was too weak to hold/use a TV remote? Well, he didn’t have a stroke and it wasn’t just dehydration or a medication his body was unhappy with. His cancer metastasized into the lungs and the Drs indicated he’d need palliative care aka it’s terminal and...yeah, I know this story from my Mom.

Now after crying for hours and calling all the people I knew I could trust to comfort me, I’m slowly getting hopeful again. Because there are people out there living with incurable/terminal cancer FOR YEARS. IE Shannen Doherty. IE MY MOM (And that was TWENTY YEARS ago!) The Drs haven’t even given us an estimate/the full story yet. (My sister has an appointment with his Dr. tomorrow)  And in Austria there IS a difference between palliative care (Which the Drs. advised) and hospice care (Which is End of Life care). Sometimes it just means around the clock care for a vulnerable ill person whose healing chances are diminished due to age/illness. And melanoma grow slowly, or so I read? IDK. I will know more details tomorrow.

Not knowing is like a knife to the heart though. Please keep my Dad, my siblings and I in your thoughts/prayers and/or send good/healing vibes our way. My Dad is such a kind, generous soul. The idea of losing him at only 70 is unbearable. I just want to go home and be with him but my disability and the pandemic make flying/travelling damn near impossible to me. What haunts me is that when he flew home in 2019 he didn’t wake me to say Goodbye in the morning bc he and I thought he’d be coming back by March/April 2020. And we know what happened then. Did I just lose my last opportunity to hug my Dad Goodbye? I just...I am so distraught and heartsick with grief.

Please be gentle with me in the coming weeks/months. I’m in...a very bad way. I just...I just wanted to hug my Dad one more time.

[gaymershigh]

Bruh. When I finished writing, I accidentally pressed draft and when I posted the work, the other half of the post disappeared + the tags. I even lost the ask too! This is my first scenario request and tumblr really ruining my vibe! I.. Whatever man, guess I have to restart everything. 😊🔫

Requested by an annonie

Triggers: None

Jade and Floyd's boyfriend who wants to surprise hug them

It's almost the end of the day and you still haven't seen your boyfriend at all. Sure, he already texted you telling that he had some business to do but that doesn't stop you from missing his presence. His calm demeanor always gives you shivers that is filled with fear mixed with excitement, how those long and slender arms wrap your figure, how he tells you how he appreciates you being his wonderful boyfriend. Ahh, you really do missed him. You wish you can just fling yourself the second you see that handsome beast.

“Dude! Snap out of it, Dingus!” Ace smacked the back of your head, making you flinch. “Geez (Y/N), we've been screaming your name and you didn't hear anything? The Hell's up with you anyway? You're creeping me out.” Ace added worryingly. You've been standing in front of your locker like a cursed mannequin and creeping out every unfortunate soul that had to pass by.

“A-ah.. Sorry about that. It's just that it's been almost a day and I still haven't seen him at all.” You scratched the back of your neck as you use your other free hand to close your locker. “Him?- oh, do you mean Jade?” Deuce asked which you nodded.

Ace just got cringe shockwave from that. He's cool with you dating that guy it's just the fact that you're being lovey-dovey grinds his gears. Well, at least your relationship is promising. “Ok dude whatever but can you at least send Grim back home? I don't think he would like to see you morons make out.” The ginger added.

“Speaking of Grim, he's been awfully quiet.” Jack said, making all of you know exactly what's going on. The four of you grunted in unison. Of course that furballs gone, he always disappear when he gets the chance. Everyone agreed to split up to find that bastard of a raccoon.

As you walked along the corridors, thoughts of Jade popped up again and you felt like daydreaming again. You wished he could appear out of nowhere and love the crap out of you. He said that he's finished with his shady business but where is he then. You're praying that he's not already at Mostro Lounge and getting ready.

Thank the Lords that they heard and answered your prayers positively. There he was, the man of sunshine, your lover, your boyfriend strolling down the halls, alone and just s few meters apart too, he doesn't notice your presence you think. That's where you get the idea to surprise him.

“SUPRISE!” You tackled and wrapped your arms around his torso tightly, the feeling of your bodys being close is so soothing. Jade looked at you with a slightly shocked expression which turned into the soft smile you always loved. “Ah, my darling. It seems you are eager. Is it perhaps that you missed me?” Jade returned the hug as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Of course I do! Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.” You chuckled as you lovingly gazed at him. You are so happy that you forgot about your current main objective. Oh well, just hope the others find Grim for you.

Actually, he already knew that you are behind but sometimes it's nice to go along for a while.

You were supposed to meet up with Floyd but your friends just had to ruin it with they're general shenanigans of causing trouble. Not only is it difficult to solve it, you had to listen to the headmaster's speech about how valuable the thing you broke is and how you shouldn't do this and that. Basically, almost facing expulsion, again.

“See you tomorrow, (Y/N)!” Deuce yelled. “See ya~” Ace added as Jack just waved before the three of them left to their respective dormitories. “C'mon (Y/N), lets go home! I feel so hungry.” Grim whined as you can hear the usual monstrous growl from his stomach. “Ah about that, I'm gonna go back here. I'll send you back, ok? Just don't set the house on fire.” You mentioned as you both are on the way to the Ramshackle dorm. “I know! I'm not dumb!” The raccoon roared back. You're surprised he didn't even asked you why you're going back.

You went back to the campus as soon you were done sending Grim back home and giving him a few tuna cans so he wouldn't moan about how you don't care about his hunger since you have heard enough from the headmaster.

No matter how tired you are, you will never betray your words when the subject is about Floyd. You love him to bits and when he called you saying that he's finished with his business work, he also sounded a tiny bit exhausted. With all the shady businesses plus Mostro Lounge, he definitely deserves some praises and love from you.

The thing is, Floyd doesn't tell you exactly where you're supposed to be hanging out so right now you looked like a lost fawn in the middle of the forest. Mostro Lounge will open up in a few hours and you want to spend all the limited time with him and not miss every single bit. You could ask people where he is but the thing is, there's nobody here to begin with so, no avail.

Luckily, the gods didn't want you to look like a moron walking around the campus. Floyd is there, walking pass by the halls while whistling. You suddenly got a great idea, why not give him a little surprise? You thought yo yourself as you already sneaked into the closest room nearby which is coincidentally your classroom.

You hid under the auditorium desks and luck was in your side as Floyd enter the same room your currently in. He stand around a spot that's very easy for you to access through. Ah, isn't this just perfect!

Without warning, you lunged at his back, causing him to gasp. “Ahh! Angelfish!” he giggled as he hugged you very tightly. Thank god he's in a good mood if you can't tell. He ruffled your hair excitedly. “You're late! You better apologize or make up something! Or I'll squeeze you~” He cooed at you lovingly. You sweated at that statement, you can't tell if he's serious or not.

“Alright, alright! If we do something fun, will you forgive me then?” Your offering seemed to work as he smile grew wider. “Oh? Something fun? Of course, angelfish~” he chuckled before softly kissing your lips.

I'm really making Jade's s/o sounding like a Pomefiore student here lol~

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[bailey-whalieee]

Things Are Different Now.

WARNINGS- this chapter depicts gun violence, shootings, & murder. Please do not reader if you are triggered by any of that!! And please reach out if I forgot to add something!(also, this is not edited so beware) 

ONE

✮

In the Rogers-Barnes household they had three simple and easy rules, and usually Maggie had no problem following them, until now.

No parties: they can lead to misunderstandings and are usually unsafe.

Be honest, nothing you’ve done will ever make us love you any less.

Always stand up for what you believe in and never back down from a challenge. 

Her hands were entangled with her friend’s as they danced in somebody’s random kitchen filled sweaty, teenage bodies and alcohol. The haze of cannabis flavored clouds blurred the room adding to the vibe.

A loud laugh erupted from the both of them as they finally stopped the horrendous dancing and came back to their senses.

Maggie’s gut filled with shame the moment her phone buzzed and it was her father.

Daddio

having fun, kiddo??

10:37 pm

She huffed and groaned, “why did my parents have to make me such a guilt-filled child..?”

“Because Cap and Sarge are what you call helicopter parents, Maggs. You just gotta break the rules and not tell them, simple as that,” Emma snickered, watching the girl roll her eyes, “you know I’m true.”

Maggs-a-million

yes! love you and pops!

10:42 pm

Maggie and Emma had been best friends since they were in pre-school, and since then, they were practically inseparable. Either Emma was at the Rogers-Barnes household or Maggie was at the Anderson household. They spent vacations together, holidays, summer break, etc… If anything, Steve and Bucky felt as though they had adopted Emma too.

“C’mon! Let’s go get a drink, maybe that’ll loosen you up,” Emma suggested, winking.

She didn’t even want to be here. It didn’t feel right, something just didn’t settle right within her. Maggie didn’t break rules, there was always a reason rules were put into place so why break them.

Breaking the party rule and now Emma wanted her to drink, it overstepped way too many boundaries.

“Em, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why don’t we just go back to your house and eat the rest of the cheesecake?” she furrowed her eyebrow, stumbling as the other girl practically dragged her throughout the house.

She moaned turning on her heels, “oh c’mon, Maggie. You’re sixteen and you’ve never been to a party or even kissed a boy! Let alone had sex! Let loose, have some fun! You’re always uptight, why can’t you just have fun?”

Immediately, it was a blow to the chest. Maggie’s face dropped at her words, they stung like a smack across the cheek.

Emma covered her mouth regretting the words the moment they left her tongue, “wait, maggs- holy shit…”

“What Emma? What?” Maggie muttered, trying to keep the spite in her voice low.

And the moment the first bullet rang through the air, Maggie dived towards Emma pushing both of them to the ground.

Chaos expelled from the crowd within the four walled house. Fear overrode logic as the two tried to exit. Another shot fired. More screams. Then another shot. Cries and begs of help emitted.

“Do you wanna fucking die?! Get the fuck down!” the shooter shouted, aiming the gun all around the room.

Maggie crawled behind the island in the kitchen, finding refuge from the man. Panic arised in her chest after noticing Emma was no longer beside her and left vulnerable to the psycho. Her knees were tucked to her chest, trying to conceal as much of her as she could. “Awe! Is someone scared? Guess what, I don’t give a fuck, bye-bye!” the armed man smirked underneath the mask and pulled the trigger.

Maggie flinched, covering her ears to avoid hearing the awful pain filled screams and cries. Everything felt nightmarish. It didn’t feel real, the whole event didn’t feel real. She didn’t want to actually want to think this could happen.

“You know who did this? You all did. This is all your fault, all your fucking fault!”

The voice grew closer and closer to her. Heavy footsteps vibrated the flooring around her, making her heartstop within her chest. Maggie’s lips parted saying her final prayer, this was the end or so she thought.

Her eyes opened to find black cargo pants and heavy military grade boots, mocking her every being.

He chuckled, crouching down to her height. Maggie flinched and clenched her glassy eyes shut. This is the end. This is the end. This is the end. This is the end. Like a mantra playing over and over again, she awaited for the pain, for the bullet, but nothing came.

Nothing, but a leather covered hand wiping the fallen tear off her face.

“You were always super nice to me and look, it saved your life,” he sneered, patting her flushed cheeks softly, “also, be careful in the living room. Wouldn’t want you to step in some blood. Now leave.”

Maggie didn’t need to be told twice, and she didn’t really feel like sticking around to find out. The living room was an absolute bloodbath. Teenagers, her classmates, friends, people she grew up with, were lying dead on the carpeted flooring. Lifeless. Gone.

Her stomach churned unpleasantly at the site, but nonetheless she exited the hellsite. Emma had found her way out of the house, and stood by a street sign trying to keep herself together.

“Maggie? Maggie! Holy shit! Are you okay?” Emma’s hands found her shoulders, shaking them softly, “Maggs? Hey, can you hear me?”

She pushed herself out of her hands, shaking her head, “I'm fine..”

Maggie couldn’t think straight. The amount of blood that stained the carpets and their lifeless eyes staring up at her as she exited the house. And the military grade boots thumping against the tiling flooring as he got closer to her.

“Where the fuck are you going, Maggie?” She shouted, throwing her hands up in an exasperated motion.

“I… uh, I’m going home. I need to be alone right now. Please be safe, I love you Em,” Maggie turned around, answering the girl.

“Are you crazy? Maggie! Maggie for fucksake! It’s midnight! You are so damn infuriating!”

She didn’t listen to her ramble on about how bad of a friend she was, instead, Maggie ran. She ran until her lungs burned and the cramp in her side became unbearable and eventually, she spilled all the contents in her stomach on the pavement a couple feet from her home.

As if, Maggie spewing chunks on the walkway wasn’t suspicious enough, now she was about to walk through the door at eleven thirty-six pm. Perfect. Her two super-soldier for dad’s totally wouldn’t think any of it..

Her hand twisted the knob of the door open and walked through the threshold. Steve and Bucky were both half asleep on the couch when she walked in. Bucky practically smothering Steve’s body from laying completely on top of it.

They were only awakened because the AI system let them know that Maggie walked through the door. “Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, Miss. Maggie has arrived home,” JARVIS announced making her cringe.

Steve and Bucky flinched from the volume of the system, but turned their attention to their daughter who stood in the doorway as white as a sheet of paper.

“Maggie, sweetheart, what are you doing here? And how did you even get home?” Steve yawned, stretching, “I’m not upset with you, but a text would’ve been nice, doll. That way we could’ve come and gotcha’.”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrow, “why are you so pale? You look like you’ve seen a ghost..”

Glancing down at the dirtied sneakers, Maggie struggled to come up with an excuse, “I got sick.. And Emma drove me here, sorry dad.”

Steve and Bucky’s faces fell and they rounded the couch to meet her in the doorway. “Awe, Maggs, what happened? Do you need something? I think we have theraflu in the cabinet?” Steve rambled, placing the back of his hand on the top of her head.

“No, no, no, just a little bug. Nothing too extreme, promise. I’m going to head to bed, okay?” she muttered, sighing.

“Okay, doll, goodnight and sweetest dreams,” Bucky gave a small smile before kissing the top of her head.

She nodded, hugging both of them bidding her goodnites and she ascended up the staircase. “Maggie, if something happened, please don’t be afraid to talk to us, angel. Nothing is too severe to stop us loving you, okay?” Steve reminded, lifting an eyebrow.

“I know dad, I know,” she nodded, almost whispering.

Tears pricked in her eyes when the door to her room finally shut. Violent sobs wracked her body, spilling down her cheeks and onto the pillow.

The worst part was knowing the fact she couldn’t even tell the people she loved the most, what had happened. If only she hadn’t gone, if only Emma settled for the night in instead of the night out, things would be different.

Maggie Rogers-Barnes learned that sometimes nightmares are actually people..  

✮

[collecting-stories]

Church - JJ Maybank

Request: maybe a obviously super fluffy and sweet church date with Jj? or they are leaving y/n’s church and JJ planned a brunch for her and gives her a speech how much he loves her?

Request: ik he’s not a cowboy (as a nc girl i love a good cowboy and a good surfer boy) but i feel like cowboy take me away by the dixie chicks gives off jj vibes. i feel like that would be him and his girlfriends song. don’t ask me why because i honestly don’t know, i just get jj vibes haha

A/N: I gave myself some serious OBX style Footloose vibes while writing this and now I really wanna go watch the Julianne Hough/Kenny Wormald Footloose remake. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

///

Set me free, oh I pray, closer to heaven and closer to you.

You sat in the front row of church, knee bobbing anxiously as you listened to the sermon. Your mom reached over, laying a hand over your knee to stop the movement, “cross your legs dear.”  

“Sorry,” you crossed your knees, smoothing down the atrocious dress your mom made you wear to church. It looks like something a Bates kid would wear and you felt stuffy in the warm nave, high neckline and elbow length sleeves itching.  

There was little you could do about the situation. Your father was the senior pastor of the church and it wouldn’t look good if his only daughter were off running around the island on a Sunday morning when he was here, leading his congregation. He had no idea that you’d been out all night at a kegger on the beach with your boyfriend or even that you had a boyfriend. You could imagine the absolute horror he and your mother would feel if they found out that you were dating or who you were dating.  

“Go in peace,” he announced, stepping away from the podium as people began to stand. He walked to the doors as ushers opened them, standing in the entryway to greet each parishioner as they left. You grabbed your backpack from beneath the pew as you stood up, following your mother to the vestibule where people were lingering to talk and have after-service refreshments.

You gave your dad a quick hug as you came up to him, “hi daddy-”

“Did you enjoy the sermon? You looked a little preoccupied.” He said, cutting you off.  

“No it was wonderful.” You replied, “would it be alright if I left early? I promised Sarah that I would meet her for lunch.”

Neither of your parents were particularly fond of Sarah Cameron because of her style of dress, the boys she dated, and the rumors they heard about her partying, but they would never tell you to not hang out with her because the Camerons had money. She was a good scapegoat. You weren’t actually going to see Sarah at all.  

“Be back early tonight alright, I want us to have dinner together.” Your father replied, giving you a kiss on the cheek before you hurried down the stairs, waving to a few people as you left.  

You had parked your car out of the parking lot, down the next street so no one would see it. Or see the sleeping blond in your passenger seat. When you got back to your car you knocked on the passenger door before opening it, JJ sitting up as you handed him your backpack.  

“You look like you’re Amish.” JJ laughed, handing you the pair of jean shorts from your backpack. After spending the entire night at the kegger you and JJ had passed out in the back of your Jeep and when your alarm had gone off this morning you’d driven to church, changed into the dress you kept under the seat for emergencies, and practically sprinted to service. Now that you could change back into the clothes from last night you were relieved.

“My mom would murder me if she caught me in any of the stuff I usually wear.” You replied, pulling the dress over your head to reveal the bikini top you still had on from last night. JJ let out a low whistle and you tossed the dress at his head. “Shut up.”

“I’m being appreciative of how attractive my girlfriend is.” JJ countered, tossing your dress in the back seat. “Are you getting in here?”

“Yeah, you can drive.”

JJ slid over the console and you got in the passenger seat, putting your backpack in the back. The seat was still reclined all the way back from JJ taking a nap while you were in church and leaned back, positioning yourself so that you could turn your body toward JJ while he drove. He took the back road leading away from the church so no one would see the two of you together.  

You stopped for food at the market before the continuing on to the Pogue. John B was with Sarah all day and JJ had proposed the idea of taking the boat out onto the marsh.  

“My dad said he wants me home early for dinner.” You mentioned as JJ untied the boat to push off.

“Well I can’t make any promises.” JJ replied, grinning when you glared at him, “what? The Pogue could mysteriously just stop working or something. She’s old.”

“And if you wanna see me before I’m old you’ll have me home early.” You replied.

“Fine, fine.” He promised, “don’t suppose there’s any chance I could go?” He had asked before, about meeting your parents. He knew how strict your family was and he knew that there was little chance they would ever approve of you dating him but he still wanted the chance to prove himself.

“I tried talking to my mom yesterday about the possibility of me dating and she told me that when I’m old enough to think about marriage...basically once I graduate high school, there is a very nice boy on the mainland that they want to introduce me to.” You replied.  

JJ looked over at you, frown evident on his face as he thought about what you said.  

“I think, when I graduate, you and me should just up and go somewhere.” You proposed, walking over to where he was standing behind the wheel and wrapping your arms around his waist.  

“I’m down. Anywhere there’s a beach.”  

“The west coast?” You asked, “we could live that surfer/skater life. Riding around in a van, vlogging about weed and organic living.”  

“I think you’re still drunk from last night.” JJ teased, giving you a quick kiss.  

“Why do you wanna meet my parents so bad?”

He shrugged, pulling you closer to him while he steered the Pogue through the marsh with his free hand. “Not a lot of things in my life have really worked out and I know I’m not exactly the church-going type that your parents want you to be with...and maybe I can work on that. If they want me in church every Sunday I’ll be there. I don’t know...I love you and I know you don’t put pressure on me or expect more of me than I can give but I wanna be able to be there for you when you need me and I don’t want you going through all these...sneaking around shit just to be with me. I want to be somebody you can be proud of.”

“I am proud of you. I’m not sneaking around cause I’m not...my parents are pretty close minded. You can come to dinner but I can’t promise it’ll be what you want it to be. I love you though, just keep that in mind. Nothing anyone else says can change that.” You promised, tilting your head so you could kiss him.

“I feel like I need some kinda bible cheat sheet.”

“If, and it’s a big if, my dad doesn’t freak out and lets you stay for dinner, he’ll probably make you pray over the meal,” you replied, “I’ll teach you the lord’s prayer, you should be fine passed that.”

“I stuck as memorization.”

“I’ll give you a reward if you get it right.” You replied.

“I do love rewards.” JJ grinned and you couldn’t help laughing when he pulled you in for another kiss, this one longer than before.  

-

taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @howdyherron @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @tragicmisfits @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @ssprayberrythings @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @jjsthumbring @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jolomez @timotaychalabae 

[sanktnikolais]

Used To Be

A/N: Me writing for another ship, which is my second favorite one after Zoyalai. The power they hold is just too strong ladkjfhsj i love them sm.

And also bc Tiff said that they have ex-girlfriends vibes, and when I thought of it, they really did have. 

ZENYA NATION, PLEASE RISE.

for Sapphic Saturdays hosted by @wafflesandkruge and @grishatober 

Did anyone ask for that blonde Zoya scene? No? Okay, here you go.

Word count: 1891 

It wasn't entirely inappropriate. But if one were to see two members of the Triumvirate getting drunk on a hidden balcony somewhere in the Grand Palace, word would surely go around. 

          Zoya winced as the taste of whiskey hit her tongue, blenching as she felt it burn her throat. "Where did you get this demon?" She tried to glare at the redhead across the small table, but her spinning vision made her unsure if she was really glaring at her companion instead of something else. "I am never trusting you with alcohol again." 

          Genya had the audacity to snort. "Admit it, you're just a light-drinker," she slurred before drinking another shot. There wasn't even a hint of disgust on her face when she downed the liquor. "I outdid the General in drinking tonight." 

          "Not in a million years, Safin." Zoya poured herself another drink. Or tried to. Her hand was already swaying from the rim of the glass, causing some of the liquid to spill on the table. 

          "You can't even pour shit in your glass." The redhead laughed, the sound unexpectedly distracting Zoya more from trying to pour another drink. "Nikolai could drink better than you." 

          "Please, His Idiocy can't even go near a glass of brandy without retching." Zoya rolled her eyes. The whiskey was starting to make her tongue loose. "At least I can handle two glasses before trying to hug the floor." 

          "Did you just admit you're a light-drinker?" 

          "No, shut up." 

          Genya raised an eyebrow, an amused smile on her lips. Zoya didn't know why her eyes focused on them for a second. "So you admit Nikolai is better?" 

          "Double no," she muttered, grabbing the glass in front of her and downing the drink. "We both know I am infinitely better. Make me blonde, I dare you. I would still look better." 

          "Yeah, sure," Genya drawled, "you would look good in blonde too."

          Zoya huffed, but said nothing more. The spinning in her head was starting to get worse, and she put a hand up to her temple. 

          It had been a while since she last got drunk. Problems were coming in all directions, requiring their full attention to address them otherwise they'd go deeper down the drain they're already in. 

          A short break was definitely out of their list. 

          Zoya turned to Genya, ready to concede from their drinking when she noticed the latter narrowing her eyes at her. 

          "What?" Zoya slurred, squinting at the redhead. There was still a playful glint in her eyes. "I don't like it when you look at me like that." 

          "Like what?" 

          Like the way you look at me back then. "Like you're planning something bad." 

          Genya laughed, and Zoya tried not to remember those lonely nights and eager touches. It was already in the past. "But it's not a bad idea," the redhead said, and then smiled slyly. "I wonder how you would look in blonde." 

          Despite her drunkenness, Zoya pieced out what the Tailor was trying to say. "No." When Genya's sly smile only became wider, Zoya raised a threatening finger. "Safin, no. I was just joking—" 

          But the redhead was already standing, walking towards Zoya with unexpected determination, her steps firm as if she hadn't been drinking for hours. 

          Genya was behind her in three quick strides, forcing Zoya back down to her chair when she tried to get away. "No, Nazyalensky, I am definitely intrigued now," she said. "My curiosity needs to be sated." 

          If it weren't for her swaying vision, Zoya was sure she would have whipped up a wind to stop the redhead's advancements. "Saints," she muttered, shaking her head. "I'm so going to murder you tomorrow." 

          Light hands started to work on her hair, and she tried not to lean on them. It was totally bringing back memories from years ago. "Please, General, you were the one who dared me," she said, "and besides, we both know you adore me to do that." 

          Zoya snorted. "Be thankful I do," she said. She had forgotten when their flirtatious lines stopped being awkward and just became normal, like the playfulness of two old friends. "Otherwise you would be expecting a lightning bolt coming for you." 

          "Ever the cruel one."

          “Ever the rational one." 

          Genya chuckled. "Do stop moving your head, General, I might do it wrong and suddenly turn your hair pink."

          After a few more moments, the redhead went around Zoya, crouching in front of her chair. She was obviously stifling a laugh. 

          "Genya, I swear if you did something atrocious with my hair—" 

          "I absolutely did not," Genya countered, kneeling up as she reached a hand to her hair. She was suddenly so close. "Wait, let's make it a bit lighter. Hold on." 

          Zoya waited another minute  before Genya leaned back. She frowned when she noticed the redhead's lip twitching. "What?" 

              A beat, and then Genya was doubling over, laughing as if it was the last day she was allowed to. Zoya glared at the Tailor. But if she noticed it, she didn’t bother stopping. 

          Sending a short prayer to the saints for more patience, Zoya let Genya laugh for another minute. "Are you done?" 

          Genya was wiping the tears in her eyes as she sat up, her hand going to the pocket of her kefta. "Saints, if Nikolai sees this—" Another series of laughter escaped her, and Zoya was tempted to strangle her. She took out something and handed it to Zoya. "Here, have a look." 

          Zoya snatched the small mirror from the redhead's hand with a frown, putting it up to her face.

          The color of her hair was almost white under the moonlight, and it contrasted with her brown skin. But seeing Nikolai’s gilded head every single day must have been tiring because she winced at her own reflection. 

          "I look cheap," she said, and somehow, this only made Genya laugh harder. 

          "You look glorious," the Tailor wheezed. 

          Zoya gave her another glare. "Turn it back," she said. 

          "No," Genya whined, "you asked me to. How dare you back down." 

          "I'm not backing down. Just—" 

          Her words died in her throat when Genya leaned forward and reached up to her hair again, a deep furrow evident between her eyebrows. The tailor was staring intently at something on her forehead. Zoya suddenly found it hard to breathe. 

          "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice not more than a whisper. She didn't particularly like how breathless she sounded. 

          "There are still a few dark strands standing out." Genya's hand continued to move lightly on the side of Zoya's head. The Tailor's touch was sending shivers across her skin. 

          She was suddenly reminded of one particular night, at least two years ago, in the wake of the destruction of Novokribirsk. Zoya had come back to the Little Palace in her worst mood, the air around her crackling with so much energy that the other Grisha had stayed away from her the rest of the day. 

          Except for someone dressed in red. 

          Zoya was in the arena, mercilessly beating a training dummy with her fists. Zoya barely remembered how long she had been there, but she knew she didn't stop until the skin of her knuckles split open and her eyes were too tired of crying. 

          She had sat on one of the benches at the side, her shoulders hunched forward as she glared at her hands. The same hands that had failed to save her aunt and her niece that day. It had been so loud in her mind that she didn't even notice Genya approaching her until the Tailor was kneeling in front of her. 

          Genya had taken Zoya's hands from her lap without question, slowly healing the patched skin of Zoya's knuckles with her abilities. If it were some other time, she might have pulled away and fought with the Tailor, but the touch of her hands had been too comforting and gentle and warm for Zoya to take it for granted. 

          It was the first time Zoya was around with the redhead without them trying to verbally murder each other off, and she was surprised with the kindness that Genya showed her. 

          She still wasn't scarred at that time, but there was the look of anguish in her amber eyes that mirrored Zoya's own. 

          "Brave through the pain, Squaller," Genya had said, but the usual poison in her tone that she had whenever she talked to Zoya was gone. "It would all be worth it in the end."

          They ended up in each other's arms that night, finding comfort in the same pain they shared. 

          Neither of them admitted throughout the years who had leaned in first that time, but it had been the start of their nightly tryst that lasted for quite a while. 

          Now, as Zoya looked at the Tailor's remaining eye, the same one that never lost their fire even after everything she had been through, she was thankful that she hadn't turned Genya away back then.

          Genya must have noticed her look, because she stopped her movements, her eyes catching Zoya's. For a moment, neither of them spoke nor moved, both aware of the sudden change in the air between them. 

          Would Zoya still dare close the distance? She knew it was entirely inappropriate, as Genya was already married with someone else. But it must have been her drunkenness that drove her forward, reaching a hand up to the Tailor's face and pressing her lips to hers. 

          It was only a chaste one, something that spoke volumes of unsaid feelings of gratefulness and appreciation, and Zoya felt Genya holding on to their kiss a moment longer before she pulled away. 

          Genya rested her forehead against Zoya's, her eyes closed and an easy smile on her lips. "Getting sentimental, aren't we, General?" 

          Zoya shoved at the Tailor's face, who laughed before standing up. The moment was gone, and replaced with the usual comfortable air between them. "Shut up, Safin."

          The Tailor gave Zoya's hand a squeeze before letting go. She narrowed her eyes at Zoya, an amused smile on her lips as she eyed her work. "Nikolai really has to see this."

          "And not hear the end of him annoying me with his teasing?" Zoya chuckled. "Ravka still needs a king, dearest Tailor." 

          Genya laughed. "Ah, yes. A good point," she said. She went back to her chair, pushing the half-empty bottle of whiskey to Zoya. "Drink three more glasses and walk on a straight line. If you can do it, I will turn your hair back. But if you fail, we're barging into Nikolai’s chambers and showing him that." 

          Zoya scowled. "What kind of atrocity is that?" But she still poured the drink in her glass. "It sounds very one-sided." 

          "Take the bet, General."

          "I will win this, anyway."

          Genya laughed, and Zoya found herself laughing back with the silliness of their muddled minds. 

          Even as she pondered on their past, she never thought that Genya would be one of the constant people around her, someone she trusted with her life and someone she could turn to in times of need, even if they didn't end up together. 

          They were much better off this way, and Zoya didn't mind one bit. 

          It was already more than enough. 

***

She ended up winning the bet. 

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

Can I also request The Words I Said Only For You, for Kyojuro please!

I... hurted myself by my own hc like hnghhhh, the pain is real. I already made the Taisho Timeline and if you didn't read it yet, find it here

You had to read it first if you wanted to understand what is going on, but yeah, you could skip that and went straight to this.

Rengoku Kyoujurou x Reader (Reincarnation vers. The Words I Said Only For You)

"Hey you!"

"-I'm sorry I suddenly grabbed you but... It's me! You don't know?! I'm your-"

"...oh right."

"How rude of me. My name is Rengoku Kyoujurou, I'm a history teacher. Oh, you are the new literature teacher on this school. I see, well, it's nice to meet you."

"This is your first day and yet, I scared you. I'll treat you lunch later, will you come with me? Great!"

"Huh? This student? Yeah, he's smart but sometimes made problem."

"...you have Dejavu about the hairpin?"

"If you sad, scream 'Wasshoi! Wasshoi! Wasshoi!' Yes! Like that! You will not be sad anymore."

"It's weird because I looked like someone you really know? Well, I don't know... Unless..."

"Uh, I'm sorry! Did I wake you up? I swear, I didn't mean anything!"

"Yomoya, quite famous aren't you! It's good to see you loved by the students!"

"Are you down for drinking with fellow teachers tonight? Great! I'll tell Uzui."

"Are you cold? Here, let me lend your jacket. Hm? It felt nostalgic to you? Well..."

"You drank too much, you know. Are you okay?"

"...I love you. Ever since we met, it felt like... How should I describe this... I've been falling love with you for a long time. No, I'm not drunk. I'm serious."

"Good morning, sweetheart. Ah, you suddenly collapsed after I confess to you and luckily, you're saying yes! No one knew where did you live so I brought you to my house. That's... Kinda embarrassing hahaha. Wait- I didnt do anything weird!! Really!! ...not yet."

"You don't live around here because you don't like train? Why? It... give you bad vibe huh..."

"Mm, your food is so delicious! Can you cook for me again?"

"That face, that blushing face of yours really ticked me. Yomoya, do you really have privilege for always being cute?"

"Uzui, stop teasing her like that."

"Stop with the Rengoku-san already, call me Kyoujurou. You don't want to? Because Rengoku seems cool? Hmph, so you said that my given name isn't cool. Just kidding! Call me Rengoku-kun then!"

"Ah hey, why are you mad at me? I just kiss you. We are in public? I wanted to show my love in front of everyone!!"

"Students! Today we're going to do collaboration between teachers! Your literature teacher will give you the details about the collab. Hm? You- you guys know we will be a couple. Yomoya..."

"It's okay. I will always escort you when you take the train."

"You trembled. The cramped train always give you anxiety and stress? Hey, look at me. Everything is alright, there are no demon- there are nothing to worry about. I'm here. Make me as your anxiety reliever."

"Ops, are you alright? You can't reach the handle? Hang on my arms. Or hug me."

"Haha, you really hugged me hard huh. It's like hugging teddy bear? I really wanna kiss you right now but it's too cramped."

"There is one seat available. It must be tiring right? Sit there, I could stand- you won't? You don't want to be separated from me? God, you are so cute."

"You want to dry my hair? Sure! Not want to brag it but my hair is really fluffy, you know!"

"This marks on my stomach? Yeah, it... It's just my birthmarks. Nothing to worry about."

"I actually felt uncomfortable when other people trying to touch my stomach, including my own family. But you... It made me at ease."

"I just realize there is one cut-mark from your wrist. Did... you do self-harm? No? It's your birthmark?"

"Don't tell me... You killed yourself... In the past..."

"Why are chuckling?! If you did this again I won't forgive you! I'm dead if I really cut myself, you said? But- uh, nevermind. Why I can't angry to you."

"I like everything about you."

"Which one do you like, silver ring or gold ring? Hm? No, I don't want this to be a surprise, I just want to straight knowing which one is better for you."

"Your lips taste sweet. Did you just eat strawberry candy?"

"Caught you! You won't go anywhere until you confess that you made my hair like... This..."

"You like my cheek? It's soft? Haha, stop swirling it! It tickles!!"

"Are you my whole new world? Because you look shining, shimmering, splend- Ow don't hit me, I'm not teasing you! I'm being serious here."

"You still have works? Please don't stay up too late. It will be bad for your skin."

"Good afternoon, (y/n)- wait, you don't look good. Are you okay?"

"Your forehead is hot, you know. Take a rest. What do you mean by 'I'm fine'? You're clearly not."

"Don't push yourself too hard. Should I accompany you to home?"

"No, I'm following you to your class. Your face reddened."

"We almost reach our home, are you okay? Your hand felt so hot."

"You sure you could take the stairs alone? I will take the cooling pad."

"(y/n)!!! Hang on!"

"You awake now? Thank God. You fell down on the stairs and it's a good thing that I caught you in time. Please tell me if you can't- why are you suddenly crying?! Is it hurt? Which part is in pain? I'll call the doc-"

"You- you called me with Kyoujurou..."

"... You finally remember everything?"

"You remembered our past? About the demon slayer? About me as a Pillar? About us being married couple?"

"About my death too?"

"Don't cry, sshh, it's okay now. I'm here. I won't go anywhere. I will always be by your side."

"We live in a peace world now. There is no demon, no need to fight again with nichirin. I promised I protect you in the past. Now I will pledge that promise and won't break it anymore."

"You really screaming my name... Right at my ear. You said that again, and again like a prayer."

"...stop crying and shout my name like that. I'm glad too, I live with you in the same period."

"I'm glad. I'm really glad."

"It's your fault that I'm crying right now. Don't cry anymore, okay? Your face isn't suitable for crying even though you're still beautiful in it."

"Haha, that smile is what I waiting for!"

"You- you could release your hug, you know. You don't want to? I won't go anywhere. I had to take care of you, remember? Take a rest until tomorrow. I'll tell Ubuyashiki-sensei."

"You should rest and get better. Then, we could talk more."

"Yup, looks like your fever finally go down."

"You- you want to feel me tonight? Yomoya, such impatient girl."

"Ah, hey. I will be in trouble if you touch that place."

"No, you still haven't recovered. So, no is a no."

"Don't pout, it make me wanted to smushed your cheek."

"Uh-hum, I love you too. So, get better will you?"

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Crimson Shadows 2

Jercy Vampire AU: Percy

masterlist; information post for fic

I was debating whether i should change traditional things like greetings but then i realised this is my fic and im writing it for purely self indulgent purposes so like i could if i wanted. Thanks for joining in on my hedonism! Please enjoy.

Perseus steps onto the creaky wooden floor of his ostentatious 16th century mansion and mentally reminds himself for the two-hundredth time that he needs to get someone in to fix it. The worst thing about being immortal, he has come to learn, is that he procrastinates everything ten times harder. At least his teenage self would be impressed with his tactics, even if his mother was rolling in her grave.

The house is unusually quiet for an Orion morning and he strains his already sonic hearing to catch the sounds of silent footfalls and bustling bodies. But the wind rushes through the space and there are no other noises. A flutter gives in his chest as he steps into the kitchen to find breakfast waiting for him and a note folded neatly next to it.

Hey Doc,

Twins have gone to Bharatanatyam class and Hoku went to the beach. I’m just picking stuff up at the grocer, be home in a jiff.

- Keeya

He releases a breath and sits down at the table with a smile. The delicious smell of eggs and blood hit him as he takes off the cover to reveal a plate of eggs benedict, hash-browns and a small glass of ichor. He shoots down the blood, content to let it work through him as he gobbles down the heavenly breakfast. He knows Keeya cooked because she was always experimenting with food, always in here creating dishes and making them beg to eat whatever is giving off that sublime smell. Just as he cuts into a hash brown he hears the door shut and hurried footsteps rushing towards him.

“To the Sun,” Keeya flurries into the kitchen, face blocked by brown paper bags stuffed to the brim with what he’s sure to be her latest concoction.

“Amongst the Stars,” His lips twitch in amusement, “Early morning?”

“I couldn’t sleep so i-” Her voice muffles as she busies herself packing items in the pantry, “-thought I’d start on breakfast but while i was looking for an eggs benny recipe i came across this golden cake and-” Her head pops out of the pantry, black eyes flashing with excitement, “Doc when i tell you i almost died right there, it sounded so good. Anyway of course i had to leave immediately to get all the things we didn’t have.” She finally collapses onto a stool across from him and takes a breath.

He hides a laugh and waits for the rest of the story, because with Keeya there is always more. 

“Anyway i get to the shop-” She starts. He covers his inescapable laugh with a cough. “And they don’t have desiccated coconut. Can you believe that? I mean it’s the main ingredient in the damn cake. So I was panicking a little because it’s the closest shop open at that time, the others I'd have to take a train for which is so inconvenient?” She gives him an incredulous look. He nods seriously; inside he is fighting off giggles. “But they found some in the back, thank the stars, and then I just grabbed a few things because it’s ‘make your own pizza’ night and I think some people from the Araw house are joining us.”

“Sounds fun, is Elouan going to be here?” He pops the last bit of poached egg in his mouth and looks at her expectantly.

She makes a disapproving face, “No, he’s off with his new partner. I don’t trust them at all.”

“Why?” Perseus is on guard immediately, fingers curling, hair sensitive, and gums stinging with the need to unsheathe his fangs. 

“Their vibe is off,” Her nose scrunches up, “Like they’re used to getting into trouble and bailing out.”

“I’ll tell Elly to be careful but maybe go with him next time Kee,” He suggests, a tentative look in his eyes as her own widen.

“All we’ll do is argue, and besides, he hates me hanging out with his friends.”

“Ever asked him why?” He has a feeling about it but he’ll never voice it. No, the two can come to their own conclusions. After all, they had forever to figure it out.

“I don’t care why. He’s a dick and I'm not interested in anything he has to say.”

He shrugs but leaves the conversation, and the kitchen, so Keeya can do her thing. He has some admin to do anyway; a dreary task but one that must be done all the same. Besides without the twins and Hoku the house is absurdly silent, so he needs something to occupy himself.

His study is actually a little desk situated in their library. It’s his favourite room in the house for the opulent fireplace that stays lit through Baridi and serves as a soot-slide in Caldu, and of course the books which although he doesn't read many of, remind him of his mother. He has been alive for almost three hundred years and there is hardly a day that goes by when he doesn’t think of her. For every part of him that isn’t human, there’s a part of her that makes him so. He stares up at the portrait of her hanging near the doorway, painted by a friend long gone and with a loving smile gets to work.

He sorts, and signs, and stamps, and notes in an endless cycle until finally his finances are in order, his donations are chequed and his letters are sealed. He’s sure Hoku will groan endlessly about receiving yet another letter under their pillow and try to explain that email is much more convenient and faster for everyone. Perseus tilts his head to the ceiling and watches the stars dance as he plays out the conversation in his head.

“Doc, I really appreciate the effort you put into sending us letters but this is not the eighteenth century, just use email.”

“Hoku i like the letters, they’re personal and calming to write.”

“Doc, emails are more convenient and i can take them anywhere.”

“Okay I’ll stop giving you letters. I’ll just give the others.”

“What? No? That’s a terrible idea. I still want my letters.”

And they would have the conversation every month without fail. It is a rather amusing part of the routine and sometimes Perseus purposefully makes Hoku’s letters a little longer, just to bother them. A secret best kept as such, but funny nonetheless.

“DOC!” A voice screams through the house, shattering his ear drums.

The twins.

He steps out of the library, and half jogs to the source of the noise, which he discovers is coming from the entertainment room. 

“To the Sun, you two.”

Serafina looks up first, her brown eyes shining with never-ending energy. The anklets on her feet jingle as she runs towards him and slams her body into his. He holds firm as he catches her and wraps his arms around her shoulders.

“Amongst the Stars,” She mumbles, face buried in his shirt.

“How was Bharatanatyam?”

She gasps, stepping out of his embrace and squealing with delight. “Doc we have to show you what we learnt! Aaru come!” Her dark eyebrows knit together as she focuses on her brother.

“Tusa Aarush.” Perseus smiles, squatting down so he’s level with the boy. A little hand, the colour of cherry wood, reaches up to give him a high-five. A standard greeting for the quiet brother; a complete opposite to his outgoing sister.

“Aaru are you ready?” Serafina comes to stand beside them, after setting up the sound system.

He nods and moves so they’re in the middle of the room. Quickly they do the opening prayer before Serafina bounces to the sound bar and presses play. The sweet, sturdy music fills the room and then they're going through a whole routine. Stamping their feet in a rhythm that matches the beat perfectly. Aarush pinches his fingers and fans them out. A closed flower opening, he recognises. They do a series of moves all impressive and beautiful, before the music fades and they pose, breathless with exertion and excitement. 

He claps enthusiastically and opens his arms for hugs. “You did wonderfully!” Serafina slams into him. Aarush gives him another high-five. “When is the performance?”

“Not for a long time Doc.” The little girl says, as if he should know this. She heads off to fiddle with the speakers. 

“In two months,” Aaru answers. His voice is clear and even. He is quiet but not soft. “In Pluto.”

“Ah, I'll make sure I have it down in the calendar.” The little boy's face lights up like a stadium and Perseus’ heart clenches with love. The twins had only been living with him for half a century but within the first year they had him completely wrapped around his fingers. Their claimed age is ten but their true age is one hundred and two. He found them shivering behind a dumpster in Orman, their skin stretched across their bones and that rabid look of underfed vampire in their eyes. He had taken them in and given them blood and a bed for the night, which turned into a week, and then a month. Before he knew it he was bringing them to this house in Roshani where they had immediately fallen in love with the city and made it their home.

“Fina, i’m going to shower.” Aarush states and without further flurry he leaves.

“Is everything okay with classes? All of them, not just Bharatanatyam.” Perseus asks the talkative twin.

“Yes,” She nods, unclipping her anklets. Her voice lowers, serious bleeding in. It is hard to forget their age, true or claimed, when this happens. Because suddenly their bubbly little girl who flits around the house and talks your ear off and throws herself into everything with the vivacity of a ten year old, disappears. In her place is the century old girl who has experienced more of life’s pleasures and hardships than most of the world can only begin to imagine.

“We’re covered for everything. And Aaru starts teaching a new linguistics course on Monday so he’ll have some cash to fling around. Although,” She rolls her eyes, “We all know he’ll just put it in his account and let it sit like a fat cat.”

He laughs, flicking her nose at her distaste for her brother’s complete lack of spending. “He likes to invest in stocks and give it away. You know he doesn’t hoard.”

“I know i know,” She grumbles, scrunching her nose, “I just wish he’d spend some on himself.”

“I think he thinks you spoil him enough.”

“I don’t spoil him nearly enough. Most times I try to buy him something and he just shuts it down. Like last Draco i tried to buy him that new puzzle he was talking about and he just slammed my laptop shut.”

She looks so put out he can't help but giggle, and when she scowls at him for it he pulls her in for a hug and kisses her head. “He likes to do things with you. Maybe try getting things you guys can do together.” She brightens at that, and he can see the gears turning in her sharp mind. “Alternatively, save up all the buying for special occasions like Birthdays or Turning or Koro day.” She hums in acknowledgement but her thoughts are still going a mile a minute so he steps out and lets her work it through.

The house is alive again: Keeya is still in the kitchen, and by the sounds of it Hoku too, begging for something. Elouan still isn’t in and he cannot stop the trinkle of worry that falls between his ribs. Trying to keep it out of his mind he walks towards the noise and is greeted by the site of countertops covered in dishes filled with all sorts of delights. The smell is enough to put him in a coma. And Hoku sits on the counter, pale blue eyes puppy-wide with pleading. He glances to their wrist and sees the sunshine yellow band. She/her today then. It gets exhausting, she had told them, to continuously have to announce yourself to the world, especially when you didn’t know how the world would react. 

“Hoku,” Keeya sighs, “I am not giving you the poli until you go and change. You smell like seaweed.” The coconut-stuffed pastry pockets sit on the counter, still piping hot from the oil they had just been fried in. 

“Awww come on Kee, i just need one. I’ll pass out in the shower if i don’t get it and then it’ll be all your fault.”

Keeya’s eyes roll so far back he’s worried she’ll get them stuck behind her sockets. But they roll forward and give Hoku a very pointed glare.

“Get your ass out of my kitchen and go and shower, you irritation!” She scolds; rendered a little ineffective by the flour smeared across her cheek which is a startling contrast to her brown-scapolite skin.

“You are the absolute worst.” Hoku sulks as she slides off the stool and trudges to the entrance. "Tusa Doc.” The sigh is heavy and he struggles to keep in the laughter threatening to spill past his lips. It is never a dull moment in the Aarde House. Perseus collapses onto the stool Hoku had just vacated and lets loose the smile he had been trying to hide. Keeya returns it with one of her own and then launches into a conversation about her latest creations.

Hours later they had moved from food talk, which made him unfathomably hungry, to her teaching, to his own escapades and ideas. She laughed as he recounted the night out he had some weeks ago and the beautiful blue-haired person he had taken a bodyshot on. But soon the sun is sinking to the city floor and the people in the house emerge from their various rooms to congregate in the kitchen, which serves as the house hangout spot. Keeya had packed most of the food away, save for a loaf of fresh bread and the poli Hoku had been begging for. She puts the kettle on and starts up the coffee machine, chattering away as she did. 

Aarush shuffles into the room and immediately takes up a spot next to Perseus. Serafina and Hoku walk in next talking about knee pains and sore feet.

“Did you guys bother to put ice packs or kinaesthetic tape on?” Keeya raises an eyebrow. They both stick their tongues out at her, and move to sit on the opposite side of the table.

“Hoku,” Aaru settles his brown eyes on her, “Will you teach me how to do the splits? My Bharatanatyam teacher says i need to learn to be more flexible.”

Hoku is already nodding enthusiastically, “Of course A, i can absolutely teach you. But you should know flexibility doesn’t come from doing the splits it comes from muscle control and ligament manipulation.”

“I read up about it but i don't feel confident enough to try on my own.”

A gleam enters Hoku’s blue eyes, “You should come with me to a ballet class. Elouan is doing piano for us next week in preparation for our concert coming up. We’ll be able to get the studio to ourselves for a little while.”

“Sure,” Aru shrugs, “Sounds fun.”

“Why didn’t you ask me for help?” Serafina tugs her twin's sleeve, looking at him with hurt in her eyes.

“I didn’t want to bother you, and besides Hoku teaches ballet I figured she’d be the best bet for me.”

Serafina looks like she’s going to say something, argue maybe, but then the last of their little household walks in and conversation drifts.

“Past the Moon, Elouan,” Perseus smiles at the oldest of the group, save for him.

A floppy smile transforms a pasty face. As he hobbles towards them, leaning heavily on his walking stick, he mumbles a round of greetings.

“How are you?” Keeya asks once he’s settled into a chair next to her.

“I could do with some food and maybe some blood but otherwise just peachy.” His moonlight white curls fall into his face and he pushes them back absentmindedly.

“Can we finally have the poli now?” Hoku glares at their baker, rebellion already flashing in her blue eyes.

“Dig in you little heathen,” Keeya shoves the plate towards her and they all descend. 

Tea and coffee are passed around as well as small glasses of blood for any of them that need it. Perseus and the twins refrain, having had their fill at some point during the day but they happily dig into the coconut pastry and drink copious amounts of coffee.

“So,” Elouan says around a mouthful of poli, “Who’s coming with me to the Red Queen tomorrow?”

“Me!” Hoku shouts immediately. Ever the party animal.

“I’d love to.” Keeya mumbles behind her tea, suddenly shy.

“No thanks.” Aarush pulls a face and goes back to stacking the knives into a precarious tower.

“Fina? Doc?”

“I have to work on stuff for varsity but maybe next time.” Serafina shrugs a shoulder, her brown eyes glazing over as her mind goes back to working a mile a minute.

“I’ll let you know after our dinner tonight. I think some of the Houses want to call a meeting tomorrow to discuss funding and housing in a few cities.”

“You should invite them along,” His white eyebrows knit together in thought, “You guys should invite anyone you want.”

“What’s got you so friendly?” Keeya gives a suspicious look.

“Arrow said they wanted to meet you.”

Her face pulls into something resembling horror, “Uh never mind i think i have stuff to do, maybe next time.”

Elouan pins his honey eyes on her and they look more like the sting of the bee than the gold of the nectar. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“I don’t trust them.” She bites out, setting her mug down with a hard crack.

“You don’t even know them. You’re just being judgmental because they’ve turned a few innocents.”

“It’s not just that Elouan,” Where he is the sky, Keeya is the earth. “They are leading you to the dens and soon you’ll be following in their footsteps.”

Perseus was content to ignore their argument and continue talking to everyone else or eating his way through the feast, but that angered whisper steals his attention. “You’ve been going to the dens?”

“I went twice and i didn't even do anything.” He rolls his eyes.

“It’s not about what you do El,” Keeya’s voice is lethal with fury, and worry. “It’s about what gets done in there.” 

“It’s not safe Elouan. Not only for you but if something happens you put a target on all of our backs. And I will not have you endangering anyone in this house just to look cool for your new partner.” There is no compromise in Perseus’ hard green eyes.

The younger vamp sees this and nods once. “I won’t go to the dens again, Doc.”

“Right now that we have that sorted,” He leaves no room for further say on the topic, “What do you need us to do for dinner before the Araw House gets here, Kee?”

He sees her hide the emotions still burning in her eyes before she claps her hands and puts them to work. And when the members of the Araw house arrive there is no lingering anger suffocating the kitchen. It is bright and loud and messy. It is home.

“Tamo, tamo, everyone!” Musical greetings come from the front of the house and a few seconds later Drew Tanaka and Charles Beckendorf appear in the doorway, as radiant and deadly as always.

Drew looks devastating in a blood red jumpsuit and a gold choker glittering at her neck. Charles has a hand wrapped around her and looks just as sinful in an emerald green suit lined with the most startling azure. His wedding band glints in the soft yellow lights of the kitchen and the two rubies encrusted in it match the band around Drew’s finger.

“Towards the Moon, old man,” Drew sits down with the grace of a dancer who has been perfecting their art for centuries. 

“Who are you calling old man?” Perseus scoffs, “I’m only one month older than you. Besides Charlie is the old man.” 

The subject in question rolls his eyes and shoves both their shoulders, flashing his fangs. His wife just laughs waggling perfectly sculpted eyebrows that suggest more than any of them are willing to interpret.

“Where’s the rest of your chaotic crew?” He motions to the lack of people that usually surrounded them.

“They’re all busy tonight, something about the Safe Haven Sound.” Charlie shrugs, “I’m actually surprised none of you guys went. It was apparently some big event.”

Hoku makes a face that means trouble. Nobody stops her. “It’s mostly for new vamps trying to enter the world. There’s a lot that can go wrong. We tend to stay away.”

Drew turns to her sharply, “Who runs it?”

“The Underboss.” Hoku makes another, more disgusted face.

“Actually,” Keeya says quietly, “It’s the Underboss’ lackey that runs it. The Underboss just owns it.”

“Ugh i hate that slimy little shit more than my ex.”

“Hoku,” Serafina frowns, “Give Luke some credit. At least he was hot.”

Perseus lets a smile loose at that. “Octavian is not ugly, he’s just ghaunt.”

“Doc,” Elouan raises a brow, “He is a ghost.”

“Literally? Aarush frowns, the first thing he’s said since their guests arrived.

“No,” Drew has a contemplative look on her face, “At least i don’t think so.”

“He was part of the Trials.” Charlie adds “That’s what i’ve heard anyway.”

Perseus shudders inwardly as he remembers those dark times. Power-hungry people, people who had no right to participate in their world, had taken it upon themselves to try and create their own supernatural creatures. It was a horrible, terrifying time for humans and duniyarall alike. They had stopped it before it had become the war it intended to be but it was deemed unethical to kill the products of those experiments. So, even today, a century and a half later, there are still Triallers- as they had been so creatively named- roaming, existing, living. For the most part they seem to be peaceful, despite being created for violence, but there are some like the Underboss’ lackey that still give an off-vibe; like feral is just around the corner, one blink away.

“How about we make some pizzas?” Keeya interrupts their conversation before they dive into what will inevitably become a two hour discussion.

“Let’s!” Serafina claps her hands, and Hoku matches her as they hop up and dive towards the fridge where cut and readied ingredients sit.

The evening is chaotic, and bright and full of laughter. They discover that between all their years of life, none of them had ever learnt how to toss pizza dough. Charlie and Keeya make a deal to go to Italy and learn before the decade is out. Drew sees the trip as a chance to get a tan in the beautiful Italian heat, and be fed delicious food straight from her husband’s hands. They make the most of the evening, a rare and peaceful one that recharges the energy in them like bolts of lightning. Perseus hasn’t felt this content in many many moons. 

Soon enough, however, it is just Elouan, Charlie, and Drew sitting on the velvet couches of their lounging area, chatting quietly as they sip various expensive liquor.

He looks at his friends, the gentle glow of the chandelier striking their features. They are beautiful. It is a warm kind of beauty, noticeable in the softness of an expression, or the happiness of a moment. They’re angelic.

“Doc?” Elouan drags him out of his quiet admiration.

“Sorry?”

“Drew and Charlie were just discussing what to do about the hotel on Palace road,” The moonlight caught in his hair ripples as he speaks. “They wanted to find out if you’d be okay with extraction?”

Perseus nods, considering the angles, the necessities

“I don’t feel it’s right to go in armed.” Charlie looks around the room, that composed intensity washing over them. “They’re children, and they’re probably scared.”

The frown between Drew’s perfect brows deepens. “I heard there’s cubs and sangrinos inside.”

“Who’s getting them food? How do they leave? What’s keeping them there?”

A loud ding sounds from someone in the room, and Elouan scrambles to reach his phone. The screen is bright in the dimly lit space and he has to blink hard to adjust his eyes, but then he lets out a curse and rushes towards the door, leaning deeply into stick as the anger worsens his limp.

“Everything okay El?”

“Just Arrow.” He waves it off, “I’ll be back before sun.”

Perseus just nods, watching as the large wooden doors slam shut behind the vampire. When he hears the front door bang, he stands, bowing to his guest in a sign of quick return and steps out of the room in search of members of their household.

“Keeya, Aaru.” He calls from the parlor.

They arrive within seconds, her with a face mask on and her dressing gown half tied, and him with charcoal smudges on his cheeks, and a loose paper in his hand.

‘Doc?” Keeya frowns, sensing the urgency in his aura.

“Elouan just stepped out to help Arrow. Please will you two trace him, make sure he isn’t going to the dens. Don’t make yourself known until you know it’s safe.”

“Armed?” The steel reflecting in Aarush’s dark eyes calm Perseus’ nerves.

“No.” He doesn’t need to cause trouble with the Underboss. “Just make sure Elouan is okay. No violent blood is spilled tonight at your hands.” The volatile expression on the little vampire’s face lessens only a fraction. They both nod at him and disappear into their rooms to ready themselves.

He goes back to the lounge, and continues his discussion with his friends. When he hears the front door close, the quiet click echoing in his mind like a drum, he tells Charlie and Drew what is happening.

Drew, ever the mother, is immediately righteous, demanding she send out some of her pack as scouts. Charlie just holds her hand and looks to him with that expression that so often graces his face: how can we help?

Perseus smiles at Drew and her anger, understanding how she feels. “It is okay Tanaka,” He reassures her. “I’ve got it covered. We should talk about the children.”

She growls, and he can hear the wolf in her throat. “You will let us know if you need help Perseus.”

“Yes,” Even Charlie looks adamant, unstoppable. “We will not be in the dark again. Not when it comes to our own.”

He breathes, and it has taken two centuries to get here. To this moment. “I will ask for help if the time comes.”

“The Underboss is holding them in the hotel, and bribing them with food to join her army.” Just like that they move onto the next problem. The next call for help.

“Well then,” Perseus grins, and it looks like the first signs of destruction, “i guess we’ll be paying the Queen a visit.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elouan my love what are you doing????? Also: Who do you think the Queen is? *sus eyes*

Tags (if you want to be added to/taken off the tag list all my channels of communication are open):

@msdrpreist; @sparkythunderstorm; @aalikun; @crazy-stupid-bean; @queen-of-demons-and-hell; @pjo-hp-things; @nishlicious-01; @spoopylucy; @larrikin-is-a-himbo; @cyra04​; @leydiangelo​; @elecsinnerz​

[rosemusic18]

Spoilers Ahead for Stargirl S1 E9 (Brainwave)

 I am tempted to just start doing youtube channel, but for now I am blabbing to a post on tumblr about Stargirl episodes from Episode 7. But let me just get to everything I want to for this week. 

All the spoiler will not only this week be in my opinion on the episode but will be also just spoilers over the 41 minutes of this episode. 

Overall episode: 9/10, I enjoyed this one more than last weeks. It had more moments with some of the character, and went more in depth of some of the storyline. Along with Brainwave, so I am excited for next week to see what happens. 

Summary: Alright, so we start the episode off with Henry King not Henry King Jr. with him starting to learn about his powers in a lab full of experiments. We see him getting muggled until he reads the thoughts of the man and then gives the man a seizure and then the man falls on the ground and dies. And then we see him go in front of a camera filming or documenting about his powers after experimenting on himself. Then we see Henry pulling out the tapes from his fathers vault and starting to watch that video which was marked Day 1. Next we see Courtney talking about how she wants to recruit Henry Jr. to the JSA, and use his powers to figure out what Brainwave’s Power is. Pat at first is weary and we see a picture of the Seven Solider’s Of Victory. Which of course Pat was apart of. But he explained how the stopped Cindy’s father or Dragon King in New York once since I have forgotten Cindy’s father name. Then we see more of the Janitor which I suspect he is either a JSA member or apart of the Seven Solider’s Of Victory. Because he sees a vision of him holding the staff which is his mop. Next we see Beth looking at Cindy’s house with the goggles and it says she went to study overseas with her mom which isn’t true as her father the Dragon King locks her in a chamber in the underground tunnels are. And then she talks about how she killed her mom. Her Mom seriously. And then her father puts gas that makes her go to sleep. Bye Cindy for just this episode. Then we see more of the videos or tapes Henry is watching, and then him using his telekenetic powers. And then we see the JSA fight due to Courtney wanting to recurit Henry and Yolanda storms off after what Henry did to her. Beth agrees with Courtney while Rick sides with Yolanda. (Civil war vibes). Next we see more of the Tapes, and Henry watching them. Later to see his dad’s hate for humans. And then he talks to his maid, and after that he hears her thoughts, and then hears his dads. Then we finally see the plans of the ISA when Dragon King annonces that Henry Jr has his fathers telepathic abilities. Which then the satelite would work and would make people fall under “the perfect world” under mind control across six states to make a perfect america. Like super serious villain vibes. Then we see a moment of Jordan in his office until Barbra interrupts him on his mission that he finished, and then she invites him to dinner. Like seriously I swear he will kill Pat. Then we see Henry reading minds of people when he goes to the hospital. Then Courtney and Henry have a moment where she is trying to recruit him and trying to tell him that their is good to every bad person and their bad thoughts you just got to look deeper because everyone loves. And she told him he can come to her whenever and help her. And then leaves. And PS. yes now henry knows Courtney was the one that did that to his father. Then we see that Pat wants Beth and Rick alone to do some research about the underground tunnels. So they get alone time but Beth reads all the books, while Rick tries to see more of his father’s journal since Pat needs to go to this Dinner. Oh I already told about the whole Courtney and Henry which goes after this but anyways it happens. Then we see more of Barbara and Pat talking as he almost tells her about everything that him and Courtney are doing before Courtney stops him and the guest arrives. We see the Mahkent’s enter and I just lit up when I saw Courtney see Cameron and his father and grandparents at the door. I just love the two. And then we see Henry get pulled into a room which is Yolanda doing it because she tells him or warns him she will kill him if he messes with her friends you know who the JSA. And she will kill him, but he reads her mind and I feel like she may be the reason next episode he helps since she said she loved him, past tense. Then we skip back to the dinner seeing that Courtney and Cameron are sitting next to another and then they say a prayer which only Jordan and Cameron’s grandparents know because it is in Greek, and he could only speak French or learned it. Then we see Pat get jealous like seriously death glares at Jordan, I want to see those two fight fist fight. Because I swear Jordan wants to kill Pat because he likes Barbara who is a married women. And then we see more of Rick and Beth (Hournite)  which Beth found something calls Rick who are then sitting together really close on a couch as Beth is reading over the history of Blue Valley and the tunnel and when they are built. And then we see how both of them talk about another to each others parents. Like oh my gosh they are so cute! Then Jordan asks about Pat and let me say I swear they are trying to rival another. Then we hear about “why Pat moved to Blue Valley” which is partily true. Then we hear a small bit of Barbara hating a bit of her childhood in Blue Valley. Then they both talk about remaking Blue Valley with what they are doing for families and Jordan and Barbara smile at another. And then we hear the grandparents talk about how Courtney worries them and how they might have to kill her basically. HELL NO! I love Cameron and Courtney and two those Grandparents need to go. They are speak Norwegian. And then Courtney does go get more food since she gets up then grabs the hot pot of food, and then she gets the gloves on since it stings her. Once she goes back and hands it to Jordan it doesn’t effect him at all. Then let’s go smaller we see Courtney and Pat talking in the kitchen on how Jordan could pick that up without gloves and with his hands.Then they talk more about him being icicle and then she suspects Cameron. Like ok I get it would be hard not to since Cindy is bad. But hey I love them together so please writers don’t let them flop. I NEED THEM TOGETHER. Then they leave and we see Cameron basically asking her out to hang out again, lets hope it isn’t at his place. But they do hug which is cute but I need more. Then we see Jordan and Courtney interact as he says he wanted to meet her and supports her basically giving her his blessing to date Cameron. Hey at least even though he is a villian he supports them dating. I love that. Then she runs down grabs the staff as Pat goes after her and she is about to go but Pat says they need to tell her mom. And in the end boom! Barbra sees it and she drops the staff which stops glowing. THen we see Henry in the hospital room with someone who says about a Will that is more trying to steal his family money. Then he does the same thing his father did by killing the man. Then at the end after that HENRY KING not HENRY JR. Wakes up from his coma and talks to his son. THEN End of episode. I don’t think this a summary more than a full recap because I swear this is the whole episode. 

HOURNITE SCENES FINALLY MORE BREADCRUMBS GUYS THEY MIGHT GIVE US A LOAF OF BREAD SOON.

YOLANDA BEING A BADASS!!! Like she goes after Henry and threatens him about her friends. So can she be my friend? 

Cameron and Courtney Scenes, I don’t want her to judge Cameron based on his father, I need them together and I want him to be good. 

HENRY READING MINDS AND KILLING A PERSON. Like yes he kills someone but I do suspect that is why he helps them too not only because of Yolanda, but because he didn’t enjoy it he wants to help people and sees what Courtney means. 

PAT BEING JEALOUS OF JORDAN!!!! I loved it so much the jealousy and tension between the two at the dinner was crazy funny and I want Pat to beat him up even if it’s in his Stripe suit. 

Learning more about Brainwave was cool because backstory time. 

DID I MENTION HOURNITE SCENES. 

BARBARA FINDING OUT COURTNEY AND PAT’S BEGINNING OF THE SECRET. Not fully but she saw the staff and heard a bit of the arguements between the two. 

HENRY WAKING UP HIS FATHER. I loved that scene because I knew it would happen I guessed it. I knew Brainwave would wake up. HE IS BACK AND READY FOR STARGIRL’S BLOOD IN REVENGE. 

I DON’T KNOW IF BRAINWAVE REMEMBERS YET IDK NEXT WEEK MIGHT TELL ME. 

HENRY NEEDS PROTECTION BECAUSE I FEEL BAD FOR HIM. RUDE AND HARD ON THE OUTSIDE BUT A CONFUSED MARSHMALLOW ON THE INSIDE.

Can you tell I’m writing this at midnight my time, and I’m tired but I wanted to get this done since I watched the episode 10 my time. 

What I believe and want in Stargirl S1 E10 (Brainwave Jr,)

To see the JSA kick some butt for once and get back in action.

Did I mention Training scene before, hmmmm YES YES I HAVE. I need just one scrap of a proper one from the team. 

When the JSA enters the tunnels and finds out about the plans that the ISA has. 

Barbara and Pat fighting about everything and how she was lied to. And how Jordan is flirting with her. 

More scenes of HOURNITE even if it’s just a loaf of bread this time. 

Cameron and Courtney scene like where she goes on a date with him. 

Henry Jr. decided to be good because he didn’t like killing the person and doesn’t want to be like his father or hurt the world so he decided to join or help the JSA fight the ISA. 

See Henry apoligize to Yolanda and where she can at least stand him for two minutes to listen to him. 

A kiss scene not long but just one not saying which ship it doesn’t matter I just need a bit of romance since things will get ugly once E11-13 hits us. 

More of Dragon King. I need to know more about him, and this Janitor. 

Thank you guys for reading it. Me and tumblr on my phone are fighting since I finished this last night and it wasn’t posting. But now it’s out, and now I can stop trying to save it on my phone when it doesn’t. I have tried posting it, so they’re are no fun colors really for me to play with on my computer. Ok but for now enjoy. I’ll be back next week for E10.

[hms-chill]

The Long Way

A nice fun Liam/Spencer fic, because these boys deserve the world.

Summary: (Alternately titled “SOMEONE GIVE LIAM A HUG” or “Stronk Farm Boyfriends”)Liam’s just finishing up vet school, and he’s a month shy of achieving the thing he’s been working for since he was a kid. When he gets called out to a farm to witness a calf birth and notices something wrong, under-researched, and curable, it’s the perfect thing to treat and document so he can write a paper that will jump-start his career. Of course, the fact that the calf is owned by a cute dairy farmer doesn’t hurt, either.

Chapter one //  On AO3

Chapter two

Liam leaves before breakfast the next morning with a promise to be back to check in that night, and they fall into a routine together, finding ways to add Annie to their already busy schedules. Liam sleeps at the farm the first few nights, studying next to her and sleeping in the barn despite Spencer's protests, while Spencer takes massage shifts during the day, helping her out to the calf pen so she can be around other cows and make friends who encourage her to stand up and play. Liam is there the night she gets up to run for the first time, and they celebrate like first time parents, showering her with cuddles and treats for the rest of the night. Even she seems proud of herself, standing up again to head butt them and follow them around until Liam collapses into the hay, and she settles down half on top of him, right at a place where he can rub her face the way she likes. It makes them both laugh, and Liam relents, giving her all the cuddles she could ever want. She's doing better than he ever would have guessed, and he attributes that to Spencer's hard work. He tells him that from under Annie's face, how he knows a lot of farmers might have given up on her but now she's doing better than ever. Spencer just joins him in the hay, plucking a particularly big piece of straw out of his hair before giving Annie some love. He knows, the way he knows the sky is blue and the grass is green, that it's because of Liam, too.

With how well she's doing, Liam stops spending the night. He still comes by after work, all easy smiles and gentle hands as he becomes more comfortable with the farm, greeting other cows as easily as he greets Annie. Still, as comfortable and happy as he seems on the farm, he has a whole life outside of it. Before too long, he stops visiting every night, resorting to video calls as he leaves work for the day. So Spencer gets to see Liam's office space at work, gets to see the outside of the building and every now and then a dog who's had to stay overnight, but he stops getting to see Liam as often.

At first, he doesn't realize what's wrong. He just realizes he's lonely at night sometimes, just him and the cattle and the rest of the ranch, even though he's been alone there with them for a few years and it's never been a real issue. Then he realizes how much he's gotten used to something different. He's gotten used to helping Liam study at night, or learning about cow diseases and hoof treatments over dinner leftovers. He's used to talking about cattle dipping techniques and how often he should do it while they massage Annie's legs, or asking about Liam's day at work while they muck out a box Spencer hadn't gotten to. The first few nights, he even sets aside an extra serving of whatever he's made for dinner before he realizes that Liam isn't coming. It hasn't been that long, but he's become an automatic part of Spencer's life, and missing him is harder than Spencer would have guessed.

They do plan for him to come out again, though. He wants to check on Annie and maybe get some more measurements to document her treatment, and he offers to bring dinner with him. Spencer is probably more excited than he should be. He plans on meeting Liam in the barn, so he brings some work out to the box where they've got Annie on her own at night, and she greets him with a soft moo and a treasure hunt for the treats hidden in his pocket. When she finds what she's looking for, she puts her whole face in the pocket of his jacket to get at the stale bread, making Spencer laugh.

"You're a spoiled baby, you know that? Spoiled rotten," he tells her, scratching her forehead as he sits down in the hay. She lies down next to him, her knees apparently working fine, and cuddles up as if it's the most natural thing in the world for her to do. Spencer grins, then yawns. It's warm in the box, and even if he doesn't want to admit it, he's tired. He's been fighting a headache all day, and he does have some work to do, but staring at a computer screen won't help it. Surely it won't hurt to close his eyes, just for a bit.

--

Liam's running late, and he hates it. He'd gotten stuck late at his last call, which meant he'd been picking up dinner in the middle of the rush, so that kept him even later. It's starting to get dark by the time he pulls up to the barn and texts Spencer he's there, and he's already brainstorming apologies. He goes to check on Annie, and he finds her asleep, draped across Spencer's lap. Spencer is draped across her, his head on her back, snoring softly.

He looks young, somehow. Liam knew he was young, but this Spencer, the one who falls asleep in barns with a laptop open next to him, looks younger than he usually does. He certainly looks too young to be running a farm like this by himself. He looks softer, too, less focused on being taken seriously. that probably goes along with looking young; he seems more approachable. He looks more like the Spencer Liam's been getting to know these past few weeks, the Spencer who talks to his cows and takes the time to massage their legs and cuddle them when they're lonely. He looks like the Spencer who'd be sleeping in the barn every night, looking after Annie, if Liam wasn't.

Still, he's always saying that no one should sleep in the barn. There's a perfectly good farmhouse he won't stop trying to get Liam to stay in, after all. So Liam rolls his eyes and goes into the box, moving the laptop to a safer place and rubbing Annie's forehead as he begins the careful process of getting Spencer out of their little cuddle puddle. He manages to do so without waking either of them, which is a feat in itself, then slips an arm under Spencer's knees and the other under his shoulders, gently tipping his head forward so it flops against Liam's shoulder instead of hanging down. Spencer curls into his chest like it's the most natural place for him to be, and Liam can't help the smile that spreads across his face.

"You're cute," he tells Spencer, softly enough that he won't risk waking him. He's smaller than he seems, especially curled up like this. When he's awake, he seems to stretch across the whole ranch, looking after everything and knowing exactly how it all fits together. But asleep like this, he fits well in Liam's arms, snuggling up to Liam's chest like he'd been snuggling Annie. Somewhere, the fact that Spencer is a cuddler infiltrates Liam's psyche. It's not a fact he needs to know, but it burrows into his brain and carves out a little Spencer-sized space for itself between what he knows about crooked calf and Liam's sister's birthday.

Getting through the doors with Spencer in his arms is a bit of a challenge, but when Spencer starts to wake a bit, Liam shushes him, and he just curls in closer. They make their way to what must be the master bedroom, as it's the only one that really seems lived in, and Liam tucks him into the bed gently. Spencer rolls over and curls around a pillow, and Liam smiles, trusting that he'll be alright. He tries his best not to snoop, but on his way out of the room, a rainbow in a picture frame catches his eye. It's a picture of Spencer at what must be a pride parade, rainbows painted on both his cheeks beside a girl with bi pride hearts on hers. There's another girl with them, also decked out in rainbows and kissing the middle girl's cheek.

So Spencer's gay. Huh.

Liam lets himself think on that as he goes to bring the laptop in from the barn and dinner in from his car, putting one bean burger in the fridge for Spencer later. The Spencer in the picture looked so happy. He'd been younger, though not by much, and he doesn't seem nearly as worn as the Spencer Liam knows. He was more like the Spencer who'd fall asleep cuddling a calf, though the version of Spencer in the photo didn't seem like he'd ever be tired enough to fall asleep in a box on accident. Still. Liam eats his burger leaning against the counter, waiting for coffee to brew, and wondering how Spencer went from the carefree boy in that picture to the overworked man he is today.

Absently, he pulls out his phone and looks for Spencer's name on Facebook. His is the fourth profile down, and it clearly hasn't been updated in years. There are some pictures of him from what look like early in college, and he's laughing. He looks at least ten years younger in a picture taken five years ago. Still, aside from pictures that make his heart hurt a bit, there's nothing about what might have made him change so fast. But there is an Instagram linked to the profile, and it's been updated more recently. So Liam scrolls absently past pictures of barns and sunsets and cows before he finds one of a man in a hospital bed. He's smiling and offering the camera a thumbs up, but the caption is asking for prayers or good vibes as Spencer's dad, presumably the man in the picture, heals.

Below that, the page looks different. There are more pictures of Spencer, some with animals and some with friends, but he's smiling in all of them. It's a smile Liam's pretty sure he's never seen on the real Spencer's face.

There are footsteps on the stairs, and Liam looks up with a start as Spencer appears a moment later. Liam shoves his phone into his pocket, feeling weirdly guilty.

"Liam? Sorry, I... I wanted to meet you in the barn," Spencer says. He's still rubbing at his eyes a bit, and he yawns massively, the sleepiness still overpowering some of his usual fierce independence.

"It's alright. I brought bean burgers. I put yours in the fridge a few minutes ago; it might still be warm. If not, we can heat it up no problem. I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's fine. Thank you for dinner. Did you look at Annie yet?" Spencer asks, finding his burger. He yawns, then sneezes twice. The fact that he has a cute sneeze nestles into Liam's memory, too, right next to the fact that he's a cuddler. Liam shakes his head, both in answer to Spencer's question and to make himself focus on what matters.

"I wanted to eat first; I'm starving. I'll go out and take a look at her in a bit."

Spencer nods, poking his own burger a couple times before apparently deciding it’s still warm enough and taking a bite. “Thank you for bringing dinner. And did… did you bring me inside?”

"Yeah, uh, I did. You're always talking about how it doesn't make sense to sleep out in a box when there's a perfectly good farmhouse right here. I thought I'd make sure you slept well, since you're tired enough to fall asleep out there."

"Thanks." Spencer looks flushed, and for a moment, Liam assumes he's embarrassed. Then he rubs his forehead with another yawn, steadying himself on the kitchen counter. Liam frowns.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Bit of a headache I haven't been able to shake, but it's nothing." He's definitely a bit flushed, and the headache and tiredness together with the sneezes aren't good signs.

"Come here?" Liam asks, and Spencer rolls his eyes, but he comes over anyway. Liam rests the back of his hand on Spencer's forehead, earning him another eye roll, but not one that's warranted. "Dude, you're burning up."

"I'm fine. Just..." he trails off, reaching for Liam's shoulder with one hand and his own head with the other. Liam reaches out to steady him automatically.

"Spence?"

"It's nothing. I'm fine; just... got a little dizzy for a second there. It's nothing."

"Nope, that's not gonna fly. Let's get you upstairs, and I'll see what we can do for you." Spencer starts to protest, but Liam just shakes his head, physically turning Spencer around. "No, you don't get to argue with me; listen to the doctor. You can bring your burger, but we're getting you to bed."

"You're not a people doctor," Spencer mumbles, but he gets his dinner and lets Liam take him upstairs with minimal complaining.

"I'm close enough. Do you have a thermometer anywhere? You... probably don't want to use mine."

"There's a first aid kit under the sink in the bathroom I think; it should be in there." Spencer's already looking better cozied up in bed, but the bags under his eyes are just as deep, and Liam doesn't like the look of them one bit.

"Okay. How long have you felt like this?" he asks, going into the bathroom. He just catches Spencer's shrug.

"I... woke up with the headache, and I've been tired for the past few days. I don't think it's anything." He finishes the sentence with another massive yawn, and it’s Liam’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Okay. Well, we'll see, and if it is something, we’re going to get you better, don’t worry.” He finds the thermometer, then opens Spencer's medicine cabinet. It's all but empty. There's a dusty, empty box of what used to be painkillers and half a bottle of Tylenol, which expired two months ago. Liam starts a mental shopping list of things Spencer needs, but for now, he takes the thermometer back into the bedroom to find Spencer asleep, half-eaten burger abandoned on the end table beside him. Liam just smiles a bit, slipping the thermometer into his mouth and holding it in place until it beeps.

101.

He sighs, then goes to get ibuprofen from his car. He checks on Annie while he's outside, massaging her legs a bit and waking her up so they can take a few laps around the barn and he can see how she's walking. She's not exactly moving quickly, but he’ll chalk that up to her having just woken up, and once he gets treats in the mix she’s a bit more willing to follow him. They take a few laps, and she seems to be walking great. Spencer's said she's been playing with some of the other calves during the day, which is a great sign, so Liam leaves her to sleep relatively soon, stopping by his car for ibuprofen and his backpack before heading back into the farmhouse, pouring himself a coffee, and going back up to Spencer's room. Spencer's still asleep, so Liam leaves the meds with a note about how many to take if he wakes up, plus a glass of water. He plugs Spencer's phone into the charger, then takes the burger downstairs and puts it into the refrigerator for the second time that night. He can't find saltines or Seven-Up anywhere, so he adds them to the list of things he needs to buy and brings Ritz crackers upstairs instead in case Spencer wakes up hungry.

Once everything's set up for Spencer to look after himself if he wakes up, Liam settles in the hallway outside his room. He'll go out to the barn or his car to sleep, so Spencer can have his privacy, but he does still have the NAVLE to study for, and this way, he'll be nearby if Spencer wakes up and needs anything. He's tired, but he's got coffee, and between that and his overwhelming fear of not passing this test, thereby wasting the last four years of his life, plunging himself into debt for nothing, and setting himself on a downward trajectory for the rest of his measly existence, he's sure he can get in at least a few hours of studying. So he rubs his eyes, slaps his face, connects to Spencer's wifi, and pulls up a practice test.

The next thing he knows, he's waking up to the sound of someone throwing up. It takes a minute for him to remember where he is and what he's doing in Spencer’s hallway of all places, but once he does, he’s on his feet, shoving notes aside to go into the master bedroom. There's a light on in the master bath, and Liam knocks gently on the door as he goes in, more to let Spencer know he's there than anything. When Spencer looks up, he looks awful. His face is pale, the sheen of sweat apparent and the bags under his eyes more pronounced than ever. Then he turns back to the toilet and throws up again, and Liam grabs the water from the end table and crouches beside Spencer, rubbing his back gently. Spencer spares him a ghost of a smile, then he's back to leaning over the toilet, though it's mostly dry heaving at this point. He sits back a moment later, taking the cup from Liam with a grateful smile, swishing water around his mouth to get the taste out before he says, "Sorry. I didn't... I didn't realize you were still here. Or, well, I guess... close enough to be bothered. Thank you."

"Of course. I think I sort of accidentally fell asleep in the hallway outside, but I'm glad I was close. Being sick on your own sucks."

Spencer nods. He looks exhausted, and when Liam rests a hand on his forehead again, he's not sure anything has changed. He helps Spencer up, and Spencer wobbles a bit, and that's the final straw.

"Hey, why don't I take care of the chores tomorrow morning? I've seen you do them enough times; I think I know the list. Milking, feeding, all that good stuff, right? That way you can sleep in. And I can... I don't think I can afford to take the whole day off tomorrow, but I could take a half day and come back to make soup to keep you company?"

"I... I appreciate it, and the morning chores would be nice, but my parents live nearby and they can get the afternoon ones; you shouldn't have to take off work for me."

"Oh. Yeah, that... that makes more sense. I'll do the chores in the morning, but you call them when you wake up and you'll be good. I'll check on Annie in the morning and see if she needs me at night, and if not, your parents can just take care of things." Liam's glad they're back in the darkness of Spencer's bedroom by now, because this would be a different conversation if Spencer could see how red his face is. Of course Spencer has parents nearby; Liam knew that. He’d talked about them, and how much they miss the farm, so of course they’ll want to help him. Of course he has other people who can help him; of course he doesn’t need Liam. The only reason he's helpful now is because he was here. He gets Spencer in bed, but before he can turn away, Spencer grabs his arm.

"If... if you want to come by after work, I probably won't be much fun to be around, but I wouldn't say no to soup. We could maybe watch a movie or something, if you don't think I'm too contagious." And now the darkness of the room is working against Liam, because he could swear there's something happening on Spencer's face, but he can't for the life of him figure out what it is. He turns to the end table to get Spencer some ibuprofen and buy himself time to figure out exactly how to react to that.

Eventually, he says, "I'd like that. I could hang around and do the chores that morning, too, if you need me to."

"You're a blessing; anyone ever tell you that?" Spencer yawns, handing back the cup of water and rolling over in bed. "Goodnight."

Liam laughs a bit around the sudden lump in his throat, wishes Spencer a good night, and makes his escape.

A blessing.

He swallows hard. Even if it's just for something he can do for Spencer, even if it's something anyone would do to help someone who needed it. Even if it's just because he's in the right place at the right time, to be called a blessing.

Nothing about him has ever felt like a blessing in the slightest. He and his family were curses on each other, and as much as his friends insist he’s not, he’s always felt like a burden on them. He’s a decent student and a good employee, but that’s what he does, not who he is. Who he is has always been a good friend, but a temporary one. A friend who gets left behind, remembered when you look through a yearbook or old photos and casually wonder what happened to them. A friend for losing touch with, ultimately, and a child meant for not talking to, and a classmate good for a study session or a set of notes but not for hanging out with after class.

But a blessing.

He goes back to studying until he falls asleep against the wall, hone alarm set to get him up bright and early enough for chores before work. But that little word, that 'blessing', bounces around his head like a '90s screensaver all night.

--

A sickfic? In my slowburn? It's more likely than you'd think.

--

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