#cw: mess

[grayskies2525]

Inevitable (male sneezing, contagion)

Just wanted to write something super self-indulgent with minimal plot.

CW: This fic includes detailed contagion! It’s gross and I spare no details — we’re talking snot strings and things of that nature. If you’re not into that, absolutely do NOT begin reading this or you’ll have a very unpleasant time. If you do, however, like contagion and messy sneezes, I hope you enjoy this 😊

Part one is just set up, but I plan to continue it with Evan spreading his germs everywhere (unintentionally).

Here are the links to all parts:

Part two Part Three Part Four

*** 

Part One

It’s a sneeze — a single sneeze. A simple bodily function. There’s nothing intrinsically bad about a sneeze.

These words run through Evan’s mind as he picks at his cuticle while his eyes dart to the man across from him. The elevator’s been stuck for several minutes already and there’s an unease settling in Evan’s stomach as he looks at this man. They’d walked on together, smiling awkwardly the way two strangers tend to do. Then the man had immediately snapped forward in an uncovered sneeze. 

It’s probably allergies.

This is a rational thought to have, Evan thought. It is March. There’s definitely pollen in March. But then the elevator got stuck and the man started letting out chest rattling coughs. 

So he’s definitely sick. But maybe he’s not contagious? It could just be a lingering illness — one of those that hang on for weeks but are no longer as easily transmissible to other people. 

“I’m sor — heh — sorry — HHHH! I woke up with an awful c—hh heh! — cuuhhhh hh —  cold. HH hh hhhhh HH! I’ve been sneezing all  — heeh hehhhh — day,” the man says in a trembling voice before reaching up to rub his reddened, swollen nose. It makes a horribly audible squelching sound.

Evan reaches for strength somewhere deep within to will himself not to wince as he stares at the man. Evan has seen him around the college before, and is pretty sure he’s an instructor, though he doesn’t know the subject he teaches. He has dark skin, looks to be in his early-mid thirties and most notably — he’s tall; Evan would estimate him to be somewhere around 6’5. He has a nice build — muscles visible through his tight long sleeved shirt. His silver eyebrow piercing glints under the elevator’s dim lights. On any other day, Evan would find him to be attractive — exceptionally so. It’s clear, however, that Evan is not seeing this man at his best. 

“Oh, uh, it’s okay,” Evan says, sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. He would rather this guy didn’t talk — that he didn’t do anything that could result in more droplets entering the air they’re sharing. Can talking spread droplets? He imagines they probably can.

“I thought it was allergies yesterday, but I woke up today and I —” He breaks off coughing, holding a fist out weakly. Evan can hear the phlegm rattling around in the man’s chest, and again he has to suppress a wince.

“Sounds rough,” Evan says, giving a strained smile as he taps his fingers against his thigh. This elevator usually only stays stuck for a few minutes. He can last a few minutes without catching something off this man, surely. Maybe the germs from that first uncovered sneeze won't take.

“I probably shouldn’t have come in today,” the man says, shooting Evan a smile that would probably be charming if it weren’t for how tired it looks. “But I didn’t realize how bad this bug was going to be. I don’t think I’ve ever sneezed so much in my life,” he says, sniffling thickly. “And my nose is running non-stop. It’s a faucet. I’m not exaggerating —I’ve gone through an entire box of tissues already.”

With these words, Evan finds himself suddenly regretting his choice to go back to school for a second Bachelor’s. Yes, his creative writing degree has been practically useless for the six years he’s had it, and yes, he does want to pursue psychology and therefore needs to continue his education. But, right now, that all seems unimportant as he looks at the sniffling man, whose breaths are beginning to hitch again.

Maybe the sneezes are stuck? Like this damn elevator. Please, please, please stay stuck until I can get off this thing, he thinks to himself while digging his nails into his palm. 

“I hate this elevator,” the man says, giving a nervous chuckle. Evan suppresses a groan as he realizes this man is clearly one of those people who are incapable of sitting —or in this case standing — in silence.  “Breaks down almost every day. I don’t even know why I risk taking it, anymore,” he says, giving another thick, slurpy sniffle. By the way the man scrunches his nose and closes his eyes, Evan suspects the sniffle produced a particularly intense tickle.

“Yeah, I get stuck on it probably once a week,” Evan says, giving another strained smile. 

“You’d think someone would do something about — heehhh —” The man trails off, his eyelids fluttering.

Evan can see the man’s glistening nostrils begin to flare. 

“Do you — do you happen to have a ti — hih — tihih — tihiiiihhhissue?” the man asks, his voice shaking.

“A tissue? Sorry, wish I did, but no,” Evan says.

He truly does wish he had a tissue because this man’s going to sneeze. Not only is this man going to sneeze, it’s going to be a messy sneeze. Rarely does Evan know something with such certainty, but this is one of those times. This man’s sniffles aren’t the soft kind that can be taken care of with a soft blow. They’re desperate sniffles — the “holding back an entire tide of mucus” type.

It will be fine as long as this elevator starts up soon. He needs it to start back up soon, then he can walk off and go home and everything will be fine and — 

“HhH—hHRGG’sschhHHHHEEW!!!”

Evan closes his eyes and holds his breath. He slowly opens his eyes, reluctant to see the inevitable aftermath of the absurdly loud and forceful sounding sneeze. Evan’s shoulders relax, though, as he sees the man lower his arm. He’d clearly managed to cover. There’s an obvious wet spot on the man’s sleeve, but still, it was contained. Evan lets himself breathe. That first, uncovered sneeze when they’d walked in must have been a fluke. This man is clearly polite and understands the value of keeping germs to himself.

Evan allows himself to smile sympathetically as he looks at the man and gives a polite “bless you.”

“Thanks,” the man says with another tired smile and thick sniffle. “Like I said — all day. I don’t think I’ve ever been sick like this. It’s just sneeze after sneeze. I’m sure my students must have been tired of blessing me. I can’t wait to just go home and sleep this thing off. If only this elevator would HH’REEHH’TSHOOO! HRR AHHHH-T’SHOOOO!”

Evan remembers seeing something on the news once about the amount of distance a sneeze can travel and how many droplets a single sneeze can potentially contain. It was something like 20 feet and thirty-thousand droplets. While this was distressing information, it hadn’t exactly been believable to Evan. People sneeze all the time.  He sneezes everyday and it certainly doesn’t seem like sneezes can be that powerful. So, he’d frowned at the information, but ultimately moved on, mostly forgetting it. 

This information now, however, crawls along back to the surface of Evan’s mind as the stranger blasts him with sneezes that can only be described as soaking wet. 

They erupted from the man with absolutely no warning and through the harsh lighting of the elevator, Evan can nearly see each and every droplet — some fine, some large and clearly mixed with thick mucus. With only six feet between them — at best — Evan can now believe without any doubt that sneezes can, indeed, contain thirty-thousand droplets. 

And he’s just been hit with two sneezes full of them — entirely unrestrained. 

Evan wants to wipe himself off, but he doesn’t know how. Every exposed part of him has been doused in infectious spray — his neck, his hands, his face…. He decides he can at least wipe off his lips, so he finds a dry spot of his hand before bringing it up to his mouth.

The man’s head is still bent forward, which seems to be a poor decision because his nose is dripping terribly. Evan watches in something of a morbid type of fascination as the droplets hit the elevator floor before the stranger gives a thick sniff and looks back up at Evan.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, his expression looking genuinely apologetic, though there’s also something about it that’s decidedly sneezy. His nostrils begin to flare again, but this time he brings a hand up before snapping forward.

“HrrRIIHHHGG’shuuuhhhh! HRR’EHHHTSHOOOO! IhhGT’SHOOOOO! MPFFX’TSHOOOO!”

Evan grimaces as the contents of the man’s nose pour out into the man’s hand in thick, visible strings. To the guy’s credit, he does try to contain it, but the sheer amount makes it impossible. He presses his hand firmly against his nose, but Evan can see moisture seeping through the cracks of his fingers. Evan is certain he's never come close to seeing someone lose control of the contents of their nose in such a dramatic way. Usually adults have a handle on containing the more unpleasant aspects head colds usually bring, but clearly this specific virus is a special case. 

Evan averts his eyes because the situation is gross beyond description, but also, this must be the most mortifying moment of this stranger’s life and he doesn’t need someone staring at him.

Evan feels his own cheeks heat in embarrassment for the man.

Mostly, though, Evan is consumed by apprehension. There’s no possible way he can expect his body to fend off the innumerable germs that are surely trying to invade him right at this moment. Even if it could fight off some of them, there’s far too many to hope he can escape them all.

Evan is surprised to find a sort of peace in accepting this as fact. There’s nothing to be done now. He is coated in germ-infested spray, so he’s going to get sick. In the same way he can’t change how tall he is, he also can’t change this. In a few days time, he’s going to come down with this absolutely monstrous looking cold because it’s as inevitable as the sun rising in the morning.

Part 2

[cooldsnz0]

Morning cold denial and take care

This time it's about my new OC Einar

is a soldier who retired because of an accident, so he is in poor health and often catches a cold.He has a little bit hay fever.

[feverfangs]

In The Forrest 🌲😈 [PT. 2] [CW: MESS / N§FT ]

uncensored version if anyone's interested! (bc this looks ridiculous)

RE-UPLOAD! Super Censored Version

firstly, I want to again give a big huge thank you to @snzmeow for commissioning me and for being super-duper patient throughout the entire process. Unfortunately life's been... life-ing lol, and I like I'm sure many others, cannot seem to catch a break. Which resulted in this relatively short comic taking THREE MONTHS to complete... and even still, Min kept encouraging me to take my time and assuring me they did not mind or care how long it took,, which was rly cool & sweet,,, they're the reason this got made :]

second, so sorry for all the stupid censorship, Tumblr would NOT let me upload this without it. It even thought that that Forrest's NOSE - a non-sexual organ that was DRAWN - was too "sexually explicit" so I had to go back and re-censor literally everything. In case you missed it up at the top, here's the uncensored version I uploaded to Google Drive.

[hockeynoses]

"Ugh, mby dose is so f-full... hih-!"

[coldfckrrrr]

cw: mess

only day 2 of this cold and my snot is already green and thick :P

it’s only in my left nostril, my right nostril isn’t congested or snotty at all lmao

no sneezing yet :/

[anythingelsereally014]

I recorded another wav

I definitely have that cold I mentioned, my nose is itching and burning but I can't seem to sneeze, so I induced to try to ease the itchiness (didn't help much)

[selene-and-the-cold]

A is being completely miserable, suffering from the worst cold they had in years, sneezing big, messy sneezes non-stop, as their body tries to rid itself of the illness.

A is home alone as their partner B is on a business trip. A feels so lonely without B that they sleep on B's side of the bed, hugging B's pillow instead of B to comfort themselves. A is sneezing uncovered, messy sneezes all day and all night long, spraying B's pillow and burying their itchy, runny nose into it whenever it tickles too much.

Fast forward to the next evening. B is back home, cuddled up with a shivering A in their arms, cooing soft words to calm A as they fall asleep together, B's head resting on the contaminated pillow, doomed to catch A's sneezing, messy cold.

[fuckin-sick-bih]

Lightning Bugs

Fandom: Stranger Things (Eddie Lives AU) Summary: Steve is coming down with something and Eddie realizes it and decides to do something about it. CW: Mess, mentions of Weed, Eddie has the kink and also mildly disabled from the demobats, & poor Stevie is photic Word Count: 4,915 MINORS DNI Author Note: This is a totally plotless drabble I've just been like picking at trying to fight writer's block and I finally finished it so figured I'd do a quickie edit and post. Enjoy!

“Hah…”

It’s so quiet and soft that Eddie almost misses it. He’s half asleep in the passenger seat of Steve’s BMW. They had just finished taking the kids home from a D&D session that went a bit longer than anticipated.

There was the flash of oncoming headlights from behind Eddie’s closed lids and then he heard it.

“Heh’DIShhuh!”

Eddie jumped from the sudden sound disturbing the quiet rumble of the engine and soft music playing, eyes snapping open to look at Steve. The lighter brunette had a hand shoved up under his nose and one still on the wheel. “Sorry-” he says with a sniffle and rubs his slightly pink nose with his knuckles. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

With a wave of his hand, Eddie brushes Steve off while trying to ignore the swooping sensation in his belly as the sound of Steve’s sneeze replays in his brain. “Don’t worry about it. Wasn’t even asleep, just resting my eyes.” He assures Steve then pauses for a beat before asking, “You alright?”

Steve was still rubbing his nose, just the two of them in the car or else Eddie suspected Steve wouldn’t let himself be quite so vulnerable. “Think so- just tired and my nose has been kinda bothering me all night.”

The admission makes Eddie’s stomach do the swooping sensation again. Like he’s on some amusement ride that twirls and spins unexpectedly. “Yeah?” He manages to choke out and sits up a little. “Think you’re catching the sniffles, Harrington?” It was a valiant attempt to keep up appearances, not wanting Steve to know just how much the one sneeze had affected him.

“Thhhh… Thought we were past the l-last names, Munson?” Steve retaliates, clearly fighting through another tickle that was building up in his sinuses. “Huhuh… God- urgh it’s gonna be stuck again.” He complains with what Eddie can only describe as a very adorable pout.

Soft pursed lips, slightly messy hair, and pinkish and irritated nostrils that stood out against his pale skin even in the dark of the car at night on the back roads. Jesus, Steve really was looking in need of some TLC… When was the last time Harrington had let someone take care of him instead of mother-henning everyone else? Or even slept?

Eddie leaned forward to pull his bandana out of his back pocket and reached over to press it into Steve’s hand. “Sorry, habit, Stevie.” He said it as a way of apologizing and smiled at the other. “You’re not looking so good. Think I got some cold meds at my place, or we can stop at the pharmacy on the way. Either way, I’m taking you hostage.”

The way he says it is matter-of-fact. Leaving Steve little room for argument, but Steve still tries to protest. “Eddie, no, c’mon, man. I can’t i-ihh.. impose like th-thaah…hah-! that.” Now Steve has his black bandana pressed to his nose.

“Not imposing, I’m inviting,” Eddie replies as another car rounds the bend and their headlights flash into Steve’s eyes.

The reaction was almost instant, and Steve kept his hand on the wheel expertly still, foot pressing on the brake to slow down the car. “Hud’TShhuh! Hept’SHhue! Hehhh’TSHHnxt!” The last one sounds pinched off and painful from behind the bandana but if it hurt Steve makes no comment, just sniffles, and speeds the car back up again. “Sorry.”

Eddie blinks a few times, trusting the dark and his black jeans to hide the fact that he’s having his own uncontrollable reaction now. “Jesus H Christ, bless you. You’re photic,” he says like it’s something completely common knowledge and not something he knows because of his stupid kink.

“What?” Steve asks blearily, setting the bandana in his lap to make the turn into the trailer park where Eddie lives.

Eddie can feel a blush creeping up his cheeks and he tries to ignore the way his heart thunders in his chest. “Uh- bright lights make you sneeze. Called photic sneezing or something like that. I dunno I think I heard one of the nerds talk about it after a D&D session.” He covers quickly.

Steve gives a thoughtful little hum, “Really? That’s not a thing for everybody?” he asked, sounding curious as he sniffled, sounding more congested by the minute after the sneezes had finally been let loose.

“Nah. I’ve looked at plenty of bright lights. No sneezing here.” Eddie tells Steve, his mouth feeling dry. The last thing he expected to be talking about to the guy he’d been secretly crushing on for years was his most secret kink. “Just shitty allergies, but don’t worry my immune system is tough as nails.” Just to hammer in the joke, Eddie pretends to flex his arms.

A rough-sounding chuckle comes out of Steve, the lighter brunette turning a moment to cough into his shoulder and lapel of his jacket. Some of his bangs fell into his face and so Steve swiped them back up again with a casual brush of his hand, a nervous tick Eddie had come to adore watching.

Christ, he couldn’t be thinking these kinds of things when Steve was right fucking there.

“Then I’ll be real proud of whatever bug my body cooked up when you catch it.” Steve taunts and parks in front of the Munson trailer, one hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Alright, Eddie, I’ll see you later…” He tries to dismiss him and Eddie’s rebellious streak flares.

Without even thinking, Eddie turns and pulls the key from the ignition with a wink aimed at Steve. “Can’t leave if you can’t find your keys, Harrington.” He taunts back and bolts out of the car.

“Eddie!” Steve shouts, his voice cracking under the strain of what was apparently a sore throat. He fumbles to get out of the car after Eddie and follows him into the trailer but by the time he gets in there Eddie is already standing there waiting patiently. Keys safely hidden somewhere in the trailer Steve would never find them until Eddie deemed him well enough to go back out on his own.

Eddie slung an arm around Steve’s shoulders playfully and kicked the trailer door closed, but nearly buckled standing on his bad leg. The one the demo-bats tried to damn near chew off. He winced and Steve was immediately there holding him up in return. The moment Eddie felt Stable he waved Steve off, “Buzz off, it’s me taking care of you not you taking care of me, remember?”

“Think I can’t multitask?” Steve jokes and lowers his hands slowly but still wraps an arm around Eddie, following his lead. Which happens to be down the hall to Eddie’s bedroom.

This time, Eddie made the smarter decision to use his hand to push open the door instead of his foot. He led Steve inside his bedroom, the whole thing a bit of a mess with some clothes strewn about in places, posters littering the walls in mismatched mayhem, more than a few guitars, amps, and cords around…

After the buckle from his ankle, Eddie limped a little. His pain tended to get worse at night. There had been significant damage done to more than a few parts of him and Eddie tried not to think about it all too much. He was still marveling at his lost nipple every time he looked in the mirror before showering…

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Eddie motions for Steve to come sit with him while he starts taking his boots off. “C’mon. Shoes off. You’re not getting in my bed with your grimy shoes on. You could’ve worn those to the Upside Down and that shit is not coming in my bed.” He rambles to fill the quiet that’s developed since Steve entered his room.

“You want me… in your bed?” Steve croaked out, sounding tired and confused. Like someone had just asked him to do a backflip on a tightrope not sit down on Eddie’s bed.

Eddie turned to look at Steve with a rather unimpressed expression. “That is what I just said, Harrington. Come on. Or I’m gonna beat you to the good spot at this rate.” The metalhead was pulling off his rings one by one to set them down on his bedside table. Next came the chain on his pants and wrist then his watch too.

It felt a little strange to be stripped so bare in front of Steve, but he found he didn’t mind it. He trusted Steve. Enough to take off his armor so to speak.

“Heh’DETShhuh! Uh’TSHHuuh! Ehh’hTSHUh! Ohhh my god…” Steve still had Eddie’s black bandana in his hand, which he pressed to his face in a valiant attempt to contain the sneezes.

Eddie’s heart was thundering in his chest, and it takes his brain a moment to register he needs to speak, “Bless- Jesus. Did you get any air during that fit?” he asked incredulously.

Steve brushed his hair up and back with a particularly thick sniffle. “D’not really…” Another groan came from Steve whose face fell into his hands as the congestion really started to make an appearance.

A soft chuckle came from Eddie who grabbed Steve’s free wrist to yank him down onto the bed with him. “If you wanna get more comfortable, you can get outta those jeans? Borrow some sweatpants if you want?” He offered, noticing Steve was in some rather tight-looking acid wash jeans and swallowing. Definitely not staring. Definitely not.

“Like I s-said Eddie I dod’t wadda i-ihhh ibpose.” Steve struggled to say as his breath began to hitch again, more of his bangs falling into his face as his expression crumpled helplessly for a moment to the itch.

Already Eddie was getting up to get Steve some clothes. He came back with some plain black sweatpants, a surprisingly soft ACDC shirt, and his cozy Zeppelin hoodie all of which he handed to Steve. “Here. Royal treatment for poor sick, Stevie.”

A pitiful sniffle came from Steve as he looked at the clothes in shock that Eddie would so willingly offer them up. “Why are you d-diih… doi’g this, Eddie?” He asked softly and took the clothes as he stood to start getting changed.

“Why wouldn’t I do this?” Eddie challenged in return while crossing his arms and sitting on the edge of the bed, looking away so Steve can change. “You take care of everybody, Steve. You try so damn hard to make sure you’re there for everyone. You never take time for yourself. You never let anyone take care of you. So let me take care of you.”

The shuffling around of Steve getting dressed suddenly stops all at once. Eddie was about to ask if Steve was okay when he finally spoke. “You wadt to take care of m’be?”

That confused Eddie because of course he did. “Yes! Jesus H. Christ, Steve! You think I stole your keys for shits and giggles?”

A soft, pitiful-sounding sniffle came from Steve who was frowning with the shirt only pulled over his arms but not his head yet. His entire torso is on display for Eddie. The scars from the demobats were healed over now. Gnarled, pink, and raised but healed. “D’no ode’s ever… wanted to actually take care of b’me before.” He admitted quietly. Eddie watched his soft belly starting to move in slightly choppier motions while his chest expanded as his breathing hitched.

“Hiih uh… IhhDSHHUH! HupTSHHUh! Snff ugh…” Steve had cupped his hands over his face in a rush to sneeze and tried to snuffle back the mess now trapped behind them. “Uh- fuck- umb… Eddie-? Cad you-?”

The darker haired man raised his brows and then scrambled for the dropped bandana turned hanky on the floor. “Yeah yeah, here, Stevie-” and he carefully pressed the black and white fabric into Steve’s hands. “There you go.”

“Thagks-” Steve said as he cleaned up his hands and face before sheepishly glancing at Eddie. “I’ll wash this for you I probise.” He said seriously to which Eddie rolled his eyes.

Eddie reached forward to gently brush Steve’s bangs back and feel his forehead. “Blow your nose, Steve. I can barely understand you.” He admonished, smiling a little as he got to watch a blush spread over Steve Harrington’s features. Christ, this was like one of Eddie’s wet dreams come true.

Focus, Eddie, focus. Steve first, be horny about it later. He reminded himself and then Steve blew his nose while Eddie’s hand was still resting on his forehead. It took all of Eddie’s willpower not to cream his pants right then and there as Steve gave a wet, gurgling blow.

There must have been some kind of look on his face because Steve spoke up with his nose still buried in the bandana. “Sorry. I kdow this is ki’d of gross. I’ll be totally fide to take care of byself if you let b’me go hobe, Eddie. Seriously.”

“No. Nope. I simply cannot, in good conscience, allow my sick best friend out of my sight.” Eddie said loud and dramatic as he stood slowly with a slightly pained-sounding grunt. He helped get the shirt the rest of the way onto Steve. “There. Bit tight on your shoulders but well… you’re all… jocky and shit.” He waves a hand at Steve and drops back down onto the bed.

Steve gave a quiet, slightly congested chuckle and swiped at his nose with the bandana a few more times. “Yeah, basketball and swimming ki’da does that…” He sniffled a little and sat down near Eddie.

Something else nagged at Eddie and he soon spoke up. “You’re not gross, Steve.” he said softly. “Far from it.” He added quietly and smiled a little as he admired Steve in his clothes for a few moments. So, fucking cute, he thought to himself.

“I ab. I’b all sdotty add gerby add I sou’d like I gargled glass.” Steve mumbled and lifted an arm to cough into it softly as if his body sought to prove his point about his throat being affected.

With a small shake of his head, Eddie guided Steve up to the top of his bed so he could pull the unmade mess of sheets and blankets over him. “You’re sick, comes with the territory, and anyone who isn’t willing to be with you when you feel like crap doesn’t deserve you. Got it?” He tells Steve, pointing a finger at the other man to give him a jab to the chest.

For a few seconds, Steve seems almost frozen, smiling softly at him before he snaps out of it and nods. “Yeah… yeah okay, Eddie.” He sniffles ever so slightly and rubs a finger under his nose once again. “Ugh, do you baybe have sobe tissues, Eds? Thiiihh ugh thi’gk I’b godda s-sdeeze agaid…”

It took Eddie’s brain a second to register what Steve was asking him for before Eddie shook himself into action. “Huh? Ohh tissues? That’s what you said. Yeah, I got you, man.” He assured him, grabbing a mostly full box from the bathroom just next door to his room to toss them to Steve. “Take as many as you need. I have more boxes. My allergies get real bad in spring and fall.” He admits, definitely aware it was nearly spring, and he’d soon be as bad, if not worse, than Steve.

“Hii’RSHuuh! Ehh… ehXT’SHuh! Ugh d’no… cobe od that’s dot all of theb…” Steve groaned and rubbed at his nose with the tissues he’d hurriedly snatched from the box, though not quite in time to catch the first sneeze. The second he’d thankfully buried his face into the tissue as mess had burst forth with the force of it. “Fuck, I’b sorry… yesterday by throat tickled a little add I thought it was baybe just, y’kdow, spri’g bei’g od it’s way…” Steve shook his head and grabbed another tissue to make sure his face was clear. “But I’b odly ever a total bess like this whed I’b sick.”

It was like the cogs in his brain had stopped meshing correctly, gotten jammed or something by all of the horrifically hot things Steve was saying, and caught fire. Eddie twirled and pulled on the ends of his hair a little as if he was trying to use it to ground himself. Or just to cover his ears so the imaginary smoke from his brain didn’t escape.

“Steve, it’s… it’s fine, seriously. You’re fine. Well- no, okay, you’re sick. Buuuut… that’s okay! Because I’m gonna take care of you because that’s what good friends do.” He insisted before spinning around to go searching for something in one of his many drawers. Partly to hide his utter embarrassment and likely bright red face and because he had an idea.

After a few moments, he made a triumphant sort of sound as fingertips connected with plastic. “Gotcha-” He pulled out a flashlight, flicked it on, and smacked it against his opposite palm a few times to get it to flicker on. Then switched it on and off a few times to get it working properly.

Steve’s slightly hitchy breaths were still coming from behind Eddie so the curly-haired man spun around he called out, “Hey, Harrington!” And flicked on the flashlight to shine it into Steve’s eyes.

The moment the light hit Steve’s pupils, they contracted, and his breath hitched in earnest while his nostrils flared. He fumbled blindly for a tissue, his chest swelling as he just barely managed to press one to his face before- “Hhh’TSHue! Hiih’DSHuh! Eddie, what the fuck?” He complained voice muffled from behind his tissue as he cleaned up from the aftermath of that.

“Sounded like you were really struggling with those sneezes, is all.” Eddie teased with a small wink at Steve, bringing the flashlight over to set it on the bedside table in case they needed it later. It was thankfully always pretty dim in Eddie’s room, the metalhead never much one to really brighten the place up.

Steve was busy plucking another tissue to blow his nose, the thick and congested sound of it making Eddie tense. “Ugh sorry, but hey at least I cad breathe a little better for dow.” He sniffed as if to try and prove his point, but it just sounded wet and distinctly like Steve was coming down with something.

Trying to prove he could breathe was almost a little too much for Eddie and he bit his own tongue as hard as he dared to. “Uh-huh. Yeah, you totally don’t sound like you’re drowning.” He teased back, briefly limping back to the bathroom to rummage in the medicine cabinet. After pulling out a package of cold medicine, a jar of Vicks, and a glass of water, Eddie settled down on the bed in front of Steve.

“We got cold meds, vapo rub shit, and water. Sound good?” Eddie asked as he held everything up, already getting out the pills for Steve to pass them over with the water.

The lighter-haired brunette knocked back the pills with a few sips of water and eyed the jar a little suspiciously. “That’s godda bake be sdeeze…” He said warily but let out a little sigh through his mouth. “But fuck I really wadda breathe- alright. Yeah. Screw it. Let’s do it.” And without another wasted moment, Steve pulled up the sweatshirt and t-shirt to expose his chest once again.

The split second before Steve’s bare chest was in his face again, Eddie was still deep in his thoughts wondering just how long of a cold shower he’d need to calm down from the other’s sneezing. His heart leapt into his throat as his big, brown eyes were suddenly scanning over every delicious inch of Steve’s torso once more. Every freckle, old and new scar, curve, and rise of his stupidly gorgeous body-

“Uh-” It was like all semblance of coherent thought and words left him at once and he offered up the jar instead. “I- yeah. Jar. Works. Good. For that.” Already he could feel his face heating up and Eddie wanted nothing more than to faceplant into his pillows and never leave them.

There was a look of confusion on Steve’s pale face as he looked up at Eddie. “You okay?” And when Eddie glanced at him, maybe he caught the hint of a smile, so Eddie cleared his throat and nodded.

Eddie decided in a split second that this was an opportunity not to be wasted. “Yep. Good. Fine. Totally. Just uh-” He was unscrewing the top of the jar and shuffling a little closer to Steve, wrinkling his own nose at the smell of the Vicks. “Ugh, jeez. That smell. Anyway, hold your shirts up and I’ll rub it on for you? Deal? I really meant it when I said I wanted to take care of you, Stevie…”

Because he did. Here was this man who would lay down his life for any of the kids in their group, any of their friends, any of the grown adults in their stupid town probably, and never ask for a thing in return. Never ask for a moment to himself. Eddie thought he was an idiot for it and for not taking the time to take care of himself in between. But fuck was he sweet, thoughtful, caring, and drop-dead gorgeous.

Especially now as his eyes were a little glassy with the slightest hint of the start of fever and more red than pink nostrils. “Deal.” He murmured, raising a hand to turn his head and cough into a fist. “Mh. Sorry. Snff! I really uh… appreciate this e-ehh… Eddie EXT’sHHhuh!” The first of many sneezes had Steve’s whole body going tense and jerking to the side as he sneezed, expression pinched and then settling. “Ngh…” He snatched a tissue with a free hand to swipe at his nose.

Swallowing down his nerves, Eddie scooped up some of the Vicks to carefully rub it onto Steve’s chest. His skin was warm to the touch, but not overly so, and of course, the tips of his fingers brushed the patch of chest hair the other man had. It made him smile as he carefully rubbed in the menthol-smelling goo around it until after a few moments Steve’s chest started to rise and fall in choppy motions once more. “Gonna sneeze, big boy?” He asked, voice soft but he couldn’t keep the edge of hopeful playfulness out of it.

“Y-Yeah hhhang… on HhhT’SHhuh! IT’sHHuh! Huh… HUPT’SHHuh! Oh by god…” Steve shuffled a little to grab a fresh tissue and pinch it over his nose with one hand as he blew. It was productive and Steve grimaced while Eddie felt a pulse of arousal shoot through him. “Ugh, sorry… your hand felt really nice though.”

It looked as if Steve’s eyelids were drooping slightly and Eddie smiled a little again, resuming the small, gentle circles he’d been using to rub in the Vicks. “Yeah? I can keep doing this?” There was the smallest of prickles in the back of his own sinuses from the strong, lingering scent of the menthol so Eddie tried to one-handedly put the lid back on the jar.

Steve spotted him struggling and reached out to hold the jar still for him. “Got it? Snff! Snf! Ugh, shit my nose is running.” He mumbled, still sniffling wetly despite his previous nose blow. Though he did sound a lot less congested already.

Eddie was about to respond when the tickle in his nose suddenly flared to a desperate itch, making his own breath hitch. Fuck, not now. “Ihhh…” His eyes fluttered shut and his hands froze, nostrils twitching as he could do nothing but wait for the sensation to either go away or come forth with a vengeance.

“Eddie?” Steve sounded worried and Christ that was the last thing Eddie wanted to do, worry Steve. Especially when he was already sick. With his eyes shut, Eddie couldn’t see him, so he just vaguely flapped a hand at him as his breath hitched again.

“Ihihh-! IxxT’SHHiew! IehhTshhoo! Heh… Hen’xt’SHHiew! Ugh… heh? Oh fuck more? HeT’SHiew!” Eddie gave a little shake of his head and finished screwing on the lid to the Vicks. “Whew. Fuck, that’s strong stuff. That always happens, don’t worry.” He assures Steve with a grin and a small sniff of his own. Which was true. Eddie and strong scents didn’t really mix.

Once he’d tried to use an incense to cover up the smell of weed and it had made him sneeze so much that by the time Wayne got home, he was still sneezing. And it hadn’t even worked. Not that Wayne had much cared anyway. Just told him to crack a window instead next time.

There was a small smile on Steve’s face when Eddie finally found the courage to look up at him. “Bless you, Eds. That’s pretty cute. That the Vicks makes you sneeze even when you’re not sick.” It was so soft. So genuine. Eddie almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but Steve was looking almost ready to drop off to sleep. How could Eddie argue with him when he was looking so adorably sleepy and cozy?

Instead, Eddie melted and gently tugged his shirt back down before tucking him in. “Thanks, Stevie. Now get some rest. You need it. I’ll be right here if you need me.” He set the jar aside, undid his belt, and kicked off his jeans before curling up under the blankets beside Steve in just his boxers and t-shirt.

“Thanks, Eds…” Steve mumbles, rolling onto his side to face Eddie. The curly-haired man stared in the dimly lit room at the lighter brunette, drinking in his features with unabashed leisure for once. Those twin moles that could have mimicked a vampire bite on his neck made him smile and he felt the urge to lean forward and kiss them rise up within himself. Yet he held back.

Then Steve’s face scrunched. Particularly around his nose and those red, slightly damp, and shiny nostrils that flared. “Heh…” He sleepily lifted a hand to paw at his nose a little. “Eddie?” He croaked out softly, clearly not yet asleep if he was struggling with a sneeze.

The way his heart skipped excitedly at Steve saying his name somewhat breathless and croaky like that shouldn’t be so exciting, but Eddie licked his lips and hummed softly. “Yeah, Stevie? Need somethin’?” His own voice came out a little breathless at first and he quickly remedied it as he continued to sound more concerned.

“Need… ehh-! Heh-eh… need to s-sneeze… can’t…” Steve admits as his breath continues to hitch ever so slightly, one hand still rubbing a little at his nose. “Just waah… eh-! want to sleep.”

Of course, Eddie didn’t need to be asked twice and knew exactly what to do. He rolled right over to grab the flashlight off the nightstand and aimed it at Steve’s face. “Open your eyes for me so we can make sure this works. It’ll just take a second. Promise.” One of Eddie’s hands came up to move the box of tissues closer, pressing one pre-emptively into Steve’s hand that was still hovering near his nose.

Opening his eyes a little, though they were watering with that incessant urge to sneeze, Steve looked at Eddie and seemed to spot the flashlight because his eyes widened in surprise. Exactly at that same time, Eddie switched on the flashlight and got to watch Steve’s sneezy expression crumple lit up in all his glory.

Steve’s eyes fluttered back shut, brows pinching downward, nose scrunching, and nostrils flaring as he sucked in a breath before jerking forward into the tissue. “HahDT’SHH! HenT’SHH! Heh… EHT’SHHuhh! Oh…” Blinking a few times, Steve groaned and snatched some more tissues to give some wet blows.

As Steve blew and wiped his nose, Eddie realized he needed to turn off the flashlight, so he did and set it aside again. He’d been so utterly transfixed on Steve’s sneezing fit that he’d just laid there practically slack-jawed watching the other. “Bless you, feeling better after that?” It took everything in Eddie to try and keep his voice level. Normal.

A few wet sniffles came from Steve as he nodded, “Yeah, yeah I’m good. Snff! Ugh, all thanks to my own personal lightning bug.” He murmurs with a happy little hum and Eddie let out a soft gasp as he felt a warm arm slide around him. “This okay?” Steve mumbled, suddenly pressing closer than he ever had before. Practically up against his chest now.

Where was this cuddly side of Steve Harrington coming from? he wondered to himself. If it had anything to do with Steve being sick, Eddie wasn’t going to go looking gift horses in the mouth. “Yeah, Stevie.” He murmured, feeling like a weight was lifting from his shoulders as Steve’s warmth settled into his own bones. “This is great. You rest. I’ll keep you warm.” His own arm snaked around Steve’s waist while his leg hooked around the other man’s as well.

Eddie trailed his fingertips lazily along Steve’s back, following the beautiful hills and valleys he could only feel through the shirts. Given how Steve seemed to melt under the gentle affections, they were incredibly welcomed and soon Steve was fast asleep snoring congestedly against Eddie’s chest. “Happy to be your lightning bug anytime, big boy.”

[hetchiew]

cw: kinda gross mess mention

The mucinex is definitely working

My cough is productive now, but so is my nose blowing…

I just completely filled a handkerchief (I’m out of tissues) in only a few blows😳🤧

I didn’t realize there was still so much snot stuck up there lol

I sound dreadful but it actually feels good to clear all this junk out of my sinuses and lungs!

[grayskies2525]

Inevitable (male sneezing, contagion) | Part 2/4

And here we continue with Evan facing the consequences of his little elevator ride.

CW: lots of mess

Word Count: 2,900

Part One

***

Part Two

Evan tries soothing the slight soreness he feels in his throat by rubbing his neck. The over baked pizza crust did not go down easily with that last swallow. He’d tried dissuading his roommate, Marcus, from ordering Domino’s for their dinner, but Marcus had been insistent. So, they’d split the little money they had between them to order a simple cheese pizza that, ultimately, turned out to be a major letdown — for Marcus, anyway. Evan figures he can't exactly be “let down” when their expectations were already on the floor. 

Evan takes a desperate drink of his Pepsi in further efforts to ease the discomfort from his throat. The first drink does nothing to alleviate the soreness, so Evan takes another. Then another. He slowly brings up his fingers, again, to lightly trail them across his neck. 

“This pizza tastes like shit,” Marcus comments from his place next to Evan on their living room couch. 

Evan clears his throat. “Yeah, it’s almost like someone advised you to order from somewhere else.” 

“I still stand by the fact that they don’t always burn it. I mean, when it’s good, it’s good, you know?” 

Evan just rolls his eyes then reluctantly takes another bite of his pizza as he tries to focus on Rick and Morty and not on the increasing soreness of his throat. 

At twenty-eight, Evan is certainly not living the kind of life he’d imagined for himself when he’d been younger. He’d hoped to be a prospering author — or even a not prospering one for that matter. He’d imagined marriage — to a nice man or woman — and possibly kids, maybe a house. Yet here he is, eating cheap, crunchy pizza in his run-down apartment that he has to share with a roommate out of necessity. 

After a few minutes repeating the cycle of throat clearing, throat rubbing, and drinking an excessive amount of Pepsi, memories of the elevator incident from two days earlier resurface.

Evan can’t help but hang his head as he realizes what’s happening.

“Do we have any DayQuil?” Evan asks Marcus after clearing his throat, yet again.

“I don’t think so,” Marcus says through his mouthful of pizza. “We may have Tylenol or something. Why? Getting sick?”

“Hopefully not,” Evan says, sighing. Again memories from the man in the elevator flash through his mind. “But, probably, yeah.”

* * *

The next morning, Evan sits at the kitchen table and dabs at his nose with a tissue as he tries to remember what the day even is. His brain is impossibly foggy.

“You know, if you ate something with actual nutrients instead of an overly processed blueberry muffin, you probably wouldn’t be coming down with a cold right now,” Marcus says from his spot at the counter as he drops various fruits into a blender.

Evan sniffles and wipes at his nose again. “I get you’re a personal trainer so you think you know everything about health. And that not getting sick is as easy as taking in some vitamins. But I think even you, Marcus, would be coming down with this thing after getting blasted with sneeze after sneeze from a sick person in an elevator.”

Marcus shudders. “Ew, okay, please don’t bring up that story again. It was unfortunate I had to hear it the first time. Anyway, I’m just saying, you’re not setting yourself up for success with your current lifestyle.”

Evan rolls his eyes. “You ate pizza last night right along with me, Marcus.”

“It’s all about moderation,” Marcus says, shooting Evan a smile, before turning on the blender for his smoothie. 

Evan wipes at his nose. This bug is settling in quickly. Since the moment he woke up that morning, it seems he’s not been able to go a single minute without having a tissue held up to his face. With his head feeling like it’d been stuffed with cotton and his throat screaming in pain, he’d groaned the moment upon waking and had turned over to his side, shoving his face into his pillow as though he could hide from having to face the day. This plan, though already doomed to fail from the beginning, made itself clear as being even more futile when Evan felt liquid pouring from his nose onto the pillow. It had been so much fluid that Evan was convinced it was a nosebleed. But when he’d raised his head to check, he could see that the large, damp spot on his pillow was entirely clear. So he’d sat up and grabbed a tissue from his bedside table and gave a long, gurgling blow. In the hour he’s been awake, he’d estimate he’s blown his nose in a similar way no less than five times.

He hopes this problem eases at least somewhat because he has an eight hour shift ahead of him and, in his experience, there’s not much worse than having to work retail with an incessantly dripping nose. 

* * *

“Yes, ma’am, I understand, but there’s really not much more we can do. I mean, if you had actually bought the curtains from this store, then I’d be happy to return them, but seeing how this isn't one of our products… Well, it’s simply not possible to issue a return,” Evan says, hoping his hoarse, strained voice conveys the mandatory amount of sympathy he’s expected to have for these situations as one of the store’s managers.

The woman says something, but Evan is preoccupied by a sudden radiating tickle deep within his sinuses, so whatever inane chatter she’s likely spouting is lost on him.

“ADT’schhh!”

The first sneeze of his cold. 

He feels wetness coat the back of the hand he barely managed to bring up in time. “In time” may be too generous of a way to phrase it, considering the not insignificant amount of droplets now visible across the POS system’s screen. He frowns at the screen, but quickly recovers, looking up and offering the woman a strained smile. 

“Excuse me, um —”

But the woman huffs out a frustrated breath before turning around and marching out the store. 

Good riddance, Evan thinks as he pulls out a crumpled tissue from his pocket to tend to the ever-present drip. He’s been at work for less than an hour, but his nose has already demanded he use what has to be —  at least — a dozen tissues. He makes sure to thoroughly soak each one, coating every inch of the small white square, before getting a new one. 

With the line of customers slowing down, he leaves the other associates to their work. He begins walking to the break room to get another tissue when he suddenly finds himself jerking his head forward. 

“HH ADT’shuuUHH!”

He frowns. He hadn’t had any chance to even begin the process of trying to cover the sneeze. He feels shame course through him as he realizes he's just launched thousands of droplets from his mouth and nose straight into the air — droplets full of what has to be millions of incredibly contagious germs. He’s usually better at covering sneezes, but this time there had been no warning. He also hadn’t been expecting another sneeze so soon. Even when sick, he doesn’t sneeze all that frequently in a day. If he’d have to estimate, he’d say he sneezed probably 10 or 15 times a day when sick. So, two sneezes within a minute of each other is highly unusual for him.

He shakes his head as if to get rid of the pesky thought and determines to finish his shift without any more incidents.

He makes it to the break room before snapping forward. 

“ADT’shhhuuuuhhh! AH-TSHUUUuuuhhh!”

Evan’s nose had, unfortunately, been full to the brim with mucus before the two sneezes — which means he’s now in what he considers to be an emergency situation. 

He, instinctively, snaps a hand up to his face, clasping it firmly over his nose and mouth as he tries to ignore the wetness that’s now sliding past his lips and onto his chin. He spares a moment to internally thank whatever deity may be out there for the break room being currently empty of any other employees.

He walks briskly to the counter and grabs several tissues with his free hand from the box next to the sink. He winces as he slowly pulls back his hand. One part of his mind is preoccupied with how stringy the mess on his hands is, while the other part is alarmed with the realization that there is a glob of snot on his khakis. 

How is that even possible? 

He reaches out to turn on the sink, but a tickle in his nose has his breaths hitching erratically until he’s once again snapping forward. 

“AHgt’shUUUUUhhhhh!

The sneeze is wet, but in a heavier kind of way. Evan can think of no other way to describe it. It’s thick and bursts out in a cloud that’s visible through the fluorescent lighting. It’s not the kind of fine mist that accompanies the sneezes that come along with his spring allergies. This is like… like germ-laden fireworks. Globs of mucus land on the counter and his shoes. 

Evan, now covering his face with a tissue, reaches quickly for the sink handle as he contemplates how it’s even possible for someone to expel so much from their sinuses in less than a minute. There’s also a fair bit of his mind screaming in alarm at the realization he’d just sneezed all over the dishes in the sink. He quiets that part of himself down, though, because surely those will get washed, anyway, so it’s not like it matters. 

He hears his name being called out over the radio he has clipped onto his pockets — someone’s saying something about “suspicious behavior” in the electronics department.

“Shit,” he mutters. His hands have only been in the water for a few seconds, but he has to get back out on the sales floor right now. He’d washed off the visible mess from his hands, so that’ll have to be good enough. He pulls his hands out from under the water, turns it off and weakly attempts to air dry his hands by shaking them, but ultimately decides they’ll just have to stay damp. He snorts back an egregious amount of mucus and makes his way back out to the floor.

* * *

Evan clocks the “suspicious behavior” instantly. Evan sighs and rubs his temples at the headache he feels coming on.

The guy hovering around the area displaying expensive headphones and smart watches looks to be no older than twenty. He’s wearing a backpack and his eyes are darting around furtively. Evan almost wishes this guy would have been even just a little less obvious because Evan simply feels too tired to deal with this. It’s not like he can even do anything. He can’t accuse him of stealing, or kick him out of the store or do anything at all useful. 

But, still, there’s protocol he’s expected to follow — especially as an associate in a lead position.

“Hi! Is there anything you’re looking for in particular?” Evan asks in the friendliest tone of voice he can currently muster after making his way over to the customer. He holds back a wince at how nasal he’s beginning to sound.

“Uhh, just looking,” the man says, keeping his gaze down at the floor.

Evan holds back a sigh. He is not feeling well enough for this. “Right. Well, I would love to assist you in any way I c-c — hold on — ADT’SHuuuuH! ADT’SHHHH!”

Evan mentally applauds himself at catching the two sneezes into the crook of his elbow. They’re not as productive as before, but they do leave a wet spot on his sleeve. Thankfully, he’d chosen to wear a navy blue button up that morning, so it’s not especially noticeable. It’s still weird as hell that he’s sneezing in twos all of a sudden. He doesn’t recall ever doing that. He doesn’t have much time, though, to ponder on this because he has a situation to deal with.

“Uh, bless you?” the shoplifter says, sounding dubious. 

Evan gives a tight smile. “Thanks. You know, I could tell you about some of our popular — our p — hhh —” 

Oh my god, is he going to sneeze AGAIN?

He quickly rubs his nose with the back of his hand, ignoring the wetness he feels there. “Uhmb —”

When did he start sounding so congested?

He sniffles — or more accurately, snorts before clearing his throat. “Uhmb, I cand tell you a— abo — hh ouut — our mbost popular FitBits if that’s what you’re loogkig for. I’ll oped the case ad you cad take a loogk.” He gives another heavy snort.

The shoplifter is now wearing an expression that looks as though he’s regretting his decision to choose this store to steal from. 

Good, Evan thinks to himself. 

Evan’s expecting — and hoping — the man realizes that it’s useless to keep up the act and go on his merry way somewhere else.

Instead, Evan notices the customer becoming visibly flushed — a splotch of red breaking out over his neck and rising upward. “O-okay, yeah, you can open the case.”

Well, now Evan feels kind of bad for this guy. Clearly, he’s not an expert at shoplifting and he's just so young. He’s probably in a pretty bad spot to be considering it. But, now Evan has to keep up the act too, so he lowers himself down to a crouching position on the floor — the man joining him. The case is small, so the two are practically huddled next to each other, their knees touching.

Evan wipes his nose again with the back of his hand before reaching into his pockets for the case’s keys. Once he opens the case, the man mutters something about wanting to take a look at one of the options, so Evan goes to grab the one he specifies.

He turns his head slightly to look at the customer and intends to prattle on about the product details but instead he — 

“ADSHUUUHHHHH! ADg’shhhHHHHHHHH! AG’SHHHHHHHH!”

Oh my god.

It’s as though his body decided to use every ounce of effort and every drop of mucus inside his body for those three sneezes. 

Three sneezes.

What the hell kind of virus did he manage to catch?

Evan brings his hand to cover his face, though the damage has already been done — to an excessive degree. The poor man's pale face has visible spots of wetness on it. His neck even has a thick string sliding down it.

Evan decides he would, in this moment, like to die. Forget about his plans for becoming a psychologist — forget about his desire to find a partner and to maybe have kids. All that matters now is that he just coated this stranger in three thick and heavy sneezes. 

“I’b so EDT’SshuuuuuhHHHH!” 

It’s another sudden, drenching sneeze that again hits the poor, unfortunate stranger in the face.

“Excudse m’be, uhm… Do you wadt mbe to uhmb… I cad… I cad get somb paper towels or — or heh? EDTShuuuHHH!”

He directs the last sneeze down at his lap, at least, but again has to wonder how much more mucus he has left in him. Evan wipes his nose, leaving a slimy trail along the side of his hand. 

The poor would-be shoplifter genuinely looks like he’s about to cry and Evan has the weird impulse to just give him the FitBit to make up for the mother of all colds he’s surely just passed onto him. Because this guy has to catch it, right? Is there even a miniscule chance he won’t? Evan can literally see droplets from all the spray glistening on the guy’s lips. The sneezes were so thick, Evan swears he can smell them.

“Th-th-that’s okay,” the man says, nervously. “Um, I’ll just go to the bathroom and … clean up. And maybe just order one of these online. But… thanks, though, I guess,” he says, cheeks flushing. “Those sound like bad allergies,” he adds, an almost hopeful tone in his voice.

Evan rubs the back of his neck and tries not to look too directly at the sneeze-soaked man in front of him. “Yeah... definitely really bad, um... allergies.”

The man’s face softens with obvious relief. “Maybe take something for that,” he says before turning around and, presumably, heading off to the bathroom.

Evan should definitely go home. He’s so sick that it’s unreal. He’s not convinced that what just happened actually happened. Because who does that?  What actual real human being sneezes that much and that forcefully? And all over someone else? Surely he’s trapped in a nightmare. 

It’s fine, though, because he’s going home. He’s going home where he can rest and, most importantly, sneeze in his own privacy. 

As soon as he has the thought, he hears another voice over the radio.

“Evan, just wanted to let you know, Courtney’s headed home sick.”

Evan closes his eyes and slowly opens them. Courtney’s the other team lead on the schedule today. It’s protocol they always have at least one of them in the store at all times. 

He can’t leave.

He has a cold that seems to increase in severity with every millisecond, and he can’t leave.

“Evan, we need you at the registers,” says another voice over the radio.

He can already feel another sneeze swelling within his sinuses, ready to erupt at any moment.

Part 3

[softsnzstuff]

you wanted someone to talk to you so... in that shirtless scene, Izzy's midsection looks... quite nice... the way his stomach moves as he breathes. just. imagine how he'd look post-workout while dealing with a cold that's not bad enough to keep him from working out

Izzy’s surprised he finished the workout. I mean, he was determined to so not to look like a fool in front of the crew. But he’d been battling the worst of a cold for a few days now.

He would argue that today - day 4 - was the worst of it. He’d not given up his duties as first mate and so the lingering cold was now charting a path of its own, from his sinuses to his chest. It hadn’t quite reached its destination yet; leaving him a breathless, sputtering mess with a stuffy nose.

“Are you sure you should be working out Iz?” Frenchie asked cautiously when walking by.

The older man was pouring sweat - if not from his workout, from the fever that was plaguing him. He had taken his shirt off nearly half an hour ago to try and cool down.

“I did my job in addition to cleaning up after Edward. How about you do yours and FUCK OFF! I can finish a fucking workout…”

The intensive intervals definitely had him working up a sweat, but unfortunately that also meant opening up his sinuses. He sniffled relentlessly as he tried to continue on.

The familiar prickle started burning in the back of his nose, building slowly as his breath started to catch.

Izzy’s chest expanded once before he snapped forward with a sickly sneeze.

“H’ReeSHHuhew! NGSHHiew!!”

The spray scattered, some catching in his chest hair, making the crew in sight grimace.

“That’s disgusting.” Jim murmured, rolling their eyes and turning away.

“Thought you might need this.” Lucius walked up, holding out a handkerchief but not looking him in the eye.

“I don’t fucking need-”

“TAKE the handkerchief and go clean yourself up. It’s fucking embarrassing.”

The older man snatched the cloth out of his hand and grumbled as he trodded off towards his cabin, passing Ed on the way.

The captain sidestepped Izzy, holding hands up, “Whoa, Iz, you look like shit! You okay?”

His first mate stopped briefly out of respect, growling, “Got sent downstairs by the fucking boy.”

[sammysnz]

someone covering a sneeze with their forearm, but in the aftermath a string of mess connects their nose to their arm. so they have to thoroughly wipe the snot onto their sleeve and try not to get it all over their face

[feverfangs]

Ok, listen… Y’all have heard of fucking in the woods.

Now introducing: fucking in the chilly woods!

Think about it, one (or both, if you’re feeling evil) party’s nose(s) is sensitive to the cold, right? And all of that panting, drawing in repeated gusts of cold air,,, causes them to break out into a fit of desperate sneezes. They’re fighting hard just to catch their breath, but the more they inhale the more they have to sneeze.

until they’re a hot mess of drool, snot, tears, sweat, and cum. I just love nature so much ♥️🌲🌳

[hockeynoses]

Happy Halloween! (a snz fic)

Male - cold, mess!, implied future contagion

~*~

He wakes up to sinuses that are absolutely packed with congestion. He’d gone to sleep last night with a tickle in his throat and a bit of a headache, but he certainly didn’t expect to wake up to this.

His nose starts streaming the second he sits up in bed, setting off a tickle deep in his nose. Still hazy from sleep and a head that feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton, he only manages to get his hand halfway to his face before erupting with a thick sneeze – “heh-nnggK’SHO!” that forces the gunk that had accumulated in his sinuses out, covering his hand in mess, the rest escaping into the air. He’s left with twin trails of clear liquid coating his upper lip as he shivers, dazed.

Leaning over to the nightstand, he thanks his past self for keeping a box of tissues stocked there as he pulls out several of them. He buries his face in the soft cotton and lets out a truly ill-sounding blow. The sound of it crackles through the air as more snot is dislodged, filling the bundle and soaking through to his hands.

He throws the ruined tissues to the floor and grabs the box, setting it next to him on the bed and pulling out fresh ones. His breath scissors in his chest before he snaps forward with a violent – “huh…ha-AHH’EEHGGSHH’IUE!” that explodes out of him.

He doesn’t dare remove the tissues from his face, groaning as he feels the wet mess of it against his skin. He gives a damp, clearing blow, strong enough to shift the pressure in his ears. He’s forced to breathe through his mouth as he crumples up the Kleenex and tosses them to the side.

I’m going to go through the whole box by noon, at this point, he thinks, flopping back onto his soft pillows. He rubs his knuckles against his itchy nose, already well on its way to becoming pink.

It fucking had to be today, he laments, allowing himself a small pity party. It’s Halloween, and he’d been planning on spending the day making treats for the party later tonight, as well as handing out candy to the trick or treaters. He’s just going to have to power through. Maybe it just seems worse because it’s still early and his body hasn’t had time to wake up yet.

As soon as he thinks it, his nostrils flare and he’s surprised by a wrenching double – “ha’GSSHH’IUE! Huh..ha’NGGSSHH’uh!” At the mercy of his own body and unable to cover in time, the viscous spray of it mists the sheets in front of him. “Ugh… oh god,” he groans, swiping at the mess on his face with his hand.

Remembering the box next to him, he pulls out a fistful of Kleenex and releases a gurgling, cold-ridden blow into the waiting tissues.

“Fugg, I don’t wadda be – heh… ha’ERRSSHH’IUE! – SNF. I don’t wadda be sigg today.” Noting the squishy pressure that still clogs his sinuses after so many clearing sneezes, he resigns himself to the fact that he most likely has come down with the cold from hell.

Yet, determined as he is, he’s not going to let it stop him from going on with his plans. He can still make the food for the party tonight, he’ll just have to be very careful about washing his hands and covering his sneezes. If he has to make them one-handed while holding a tissue to his dripping nose the whole time, then so be it.

He should be able to hide his illness enough that no one will be worried. Hopefully he’ll be able to hold it off enough so they won’t take one look at him and decide it isn’t worth the risk. Hell, the way he sounds, even just being in the same room as him might be risky enough. But he can’t let his friends down, and he doesn’t want to miss the party.

Pulling more tissues from the box, he catches a harsh, scraping – “uh…huh…ha’NNGGGSSH’ah!” into the bundle, containing all of the dense, contagious mess that his nose is constantly trying to force out of him. He gives one last marshy blow before getting up to start the day, box of tissues in hand. If he can just keep his nose under control, everything should be fine.

[chongoblog]

So a lot of political scandals just dropped in the last 24 hours

-NC Governor Candidate Mark Robinson's online posts were found, including some VERY graphic descriptions (like seriously, do not read if you're not 18) of him cheating on his wife, calling himself a black Nazi, and expressing support for reinstituting slavery. His email address was also found on Ashley Madison

-Robert F Kennedy Jr was revealed to be cheating on his wife with a reporter (and that isn't even the weirdest thing since federal law enforcement opened an investigation into him allegedly cutting off the head of a whale and taking it home with him less than 24 hours ago)

-GOP Senate candidate who is the CEO of a bank has been found accepting millions of dollars from what seem to allegedly be Mexican drug cartels.

-Finally, probably the biggest bombshell, according to multiple eyewitness testimonies within sealed sworn affadavits, Congressman Matt Gaetz allegedly invited a 17-year-old girl to a drug-fueld sex party

And we haven't even hit October, folks. Again, these are all still breaking news stories, so things are subject to change, but oh man oh man.

[leafyeyes417]

Jeweled Rage

Danny knew he had been staring too long at the guy, judging by the suspicious glances from him and the two he was with. But really his mind was kinda stuck on how the guy had managed to get some kind of supernatural jewelry stuck in his chest.

It didn’t feel exactly ghostly but he knew it was on the dead spectrum. He just knew that this was the reason Clockwork had given specific (if cryptic, like always) instructions when he was going to meet Jazz in Gotham.

He inwardly groaned as the trio made their way over to him, deciding to confront him for staring.

“Is there a reason you’ve been staring at me?” Jason said aggressively.

Danny grimaced. “Yeah… I have absolutely no clue how to start this conversation but I can already tell you it is not heading in the direction you think it is.”

Tim raised an eyebrow. “Well that’s not any less suspicious than before.”

Danny sighed. “Look, I was given specific instructions before I came to Gotham by a guy who is cryptic up the wazoo but knows basically everything. I’m supposed to tell ‘the one with the Jeweled Rage’ that ‘The Hellblazer is the answer to ending the Rage.’ And since you are the one with the Jewelry problem, that is your message.”

Dick blinks, turning to look at Tim. “Jewelry problem? Did I miss something while I was working out today?”

Both Tim and Jason look just as confused, turning to look skeptically at Danny, with Tim asking, “What Jewelry problem are you talking about?”

Danny frowned. “You mean you don’t know about the piece of supernatural Jewelry stuck in his chest?” He says, pointing at Jason.

The three freeze before Jason bursts out, “If there was something stuck in my chest how wasn’t it seen by an x-ray?! I know I’ve broken my ribs more than once over the years!”

Danny deadpans. “Unless it was a supernatural x-ray the chances of seeing it is microscopic. Supernatural shit is weird.”

Dick suddenly reaches out, grabbing Danny’s wrist. “You are coming with us while we get this figured out.”

Danny gives a bare minimum of resistance, face resigned, already knowing something like this would happen. “I better be fed while being held hostage or I will ensure you have the worst minor inconveniences for a month.”