#cw: vent

[hamsternamedskippy]

Found this somewhere but he had really impressive gear to me.

[shhquietmoths]

feeling some kind of way lately cw: blood, cartoon violence/gore

[indiestsnake]

I don’t know how you all tolerate me

[skylargoesbark]

Why can't I stop until I smell your tears and taste your blood in my mouth?

[goatgoesmbe]

sometimes i hope i'm the one getting birthday surprises, getting asked to movies, or just hangout in general, being the one people come to talk about anything- instead of the other way around.. where i feel like i'm.. the only one doing the effort to keep relationships, planning suprises, asking for hangout, checking up on how they doin, or just texting them first about anything

..maybe those are hints about them not wanting anything to do with me and i should just move on? Yea prolly..

I miss my highschool friends :( but yea, i think i shouldn't feel sad seeing them posting abt doing many activities with new friends they encounter- and always leave me on read

But also, me lonely, i barely have anyone irl. So why is everyone straying away from me. I feel unlikeable sometimes..

and i wanna know why so i could change to be more idk.. friendly.. so id have more friends(?) or also, perhaps i should just accept id always be unlikeable to some people.. maybe it's better to make peace with that fact and stop trying

im talking abt ppl irl btw, yall cool af

[drowning-in-cabbages]

Loyal Fucking Dog

The piece is meant to look unfinished and messy because it is a vent

Vent below the cut. If you don't want to read it, enjoy my Vanitas art

Drew this picture because of my current anxiety over the future. I'm unfortunately one of the people living under Flonald Dump within the USA. I'm scared for my reproductive rights as someone with female anatomy.

I'm tired of hearing the statement "we'll get through the next 4 years together" because it doesn't do anything for me. I've heard it so many times from my mom who doesn't stay anything against the Propaganda Machine that is my dad, even though I know she doesn't believe what he says.

My dad who believes the lies the people in the government tell him and then feeds it to my brother who is also believing his words. He eats Ben Shapiro's and the Daily Wire's words like a meal from the best restaurant around.

I can't say anything without him telling me I'm wrong for not having evidence without having any evidence for his claims. I feel like I'm always in a 2 on 1 argument with him and my brother while my mom bows her head and says nothing.

And when the arguments are over, he acts like nothing happened.

And I have barely a support system because I no longer have a therapist for my diagnosed anxiety because of school. Having ADHD in here is hard enough because my dad doesn't believe it and won't let me get an autism diagnosis (which I'm pretty sure I need) because he thinks it's just to sell medicine.

So, without therapy which I'm sure I could get (but without a driver's license yet, that nulls any option besides zoom, but i don't want anyone in this family overhearing me), or medicine for anxiety or ADHD, I'm left to roll through the next 4 years crying at midnight because it's the only time I get the house to myself for peace and quiet.

I hate that we're only 4 days into hell and I'm already feeling hopeless. I'm scared that if I go to sleep, all my rights will have been silently cut out of existence and that I'll be forced to go to my 7-3 shift working customer service and doing my schoolwork for college like nothing happened.

Everything is moving too fast to take any sort of break from it all unless I'm dissociating in a video game. And if I dare to stop playing my game for more than 10 minutes than the world around me will come crashing down, revealing its ugly truths and I won't be able to do anything but watch and stare.

I feel so hopeless.

[stardstschlar]

.

I wanna apologize for being so silent at this time. The entire month of June has been a hell of a rollercoaster ride for me, and my living situation is...not the greatest again. As y'all know: my stepdad had a heart attack at the beginning of June, and we've been making some life changes for all, to help him acclimate into what he's dealing with.

I have also been looking for another job, as the one I'm currently with hasn't been the greatest. Plus, hours are just not working and neither is the income. Saturday was my last straw with said job and at this point? It's all getting dumb.

So, I continue to ask for your patience. I'm well aware I owe some people replies and such, and I'm hoping things smooth over for me this month.

I'm also around on discord, if you'd like to add and talk and write there.

fated.stars

[jjinx1998]

xxtc-96xx Callout post

To start I want you to know I didn't want things to have to come to this but after recent developments and discussions from others I cannot ignore what's been going on for years now. This is a problem revolving around the user @xxtc-96xx , the comic Endertale, and the Undertale fandom. I will try to explain what I know and offer proof when I can, but there might be some sloppiness as this is my first real post on Tumblr. If there is any technical issues about this post, please let me know so I can fix it.

Let me start from the beginning. I have been a long time fan of xxtc-96xx since about 2016 (I will refer to them as TC to make it easier). I have enjoyed looking at the art they create for many years, mainly the ones revolving around Endertale.

Endertale is a fan comic that TC made of the game Undertale. It's a very decent story with a pleasant art style. I would recommend it but I cannot and I will get to why. You see TC has suffered from something that just about any creator can relate to, burnout. The most recent comic page being posted in 2021 though there was already a hiatus established before that.

While they made it long clear that they needed to go on break for personal reasons, people wanted to ask for when they will continue it. Some of them calm and reasonable and other's were very much not nice. TC answered them honestly at first.

Then it started to devolve into troll responses or just not answering.

Not just on Tumblr but people kept asking on Deviantart as well. In fact people are still asking today in 2024. It has gotten so frequent that TC felt it necessary to change their profile header to this:

And it has stayed that way for so long I lost track of when it started. To be fair, even I found the frequent questions to be overwhelming and they just like every artist who makes stuff for free is entitled to take a break from their work. However this post isn't a complaint about how long it takes to finish a comic, it's about something that started because of the wait.

See, their original reason to take a break was because they were too busy with personal matters for them to commit to an actual comic. But as their history up to today has shown that's no longer a valid excuse. As time went on they started to show an interest in the Pokemon fandom. specifically the pokemon known as Mewtwo. To make a long story short, what started as small doodles grew into a whole bunch of fancomics and animations. To compare, they have drawn nearly four times as many Pokemon drawings compared to Undertale. Now, it is perfectly fair and acceptable to find an interest in a different fandom. And while I personally prefer Undertale over Pokemon I completely supported their decision to focus on other fandoms and enjoyed what they made. I also understood their issues with the fandom at the time, some people were rather aggressive, rude, or demanding the comic to be completed, a comic that's completely free that they make no profit out of. I even recall one point they tried to unsuccessfully drag a different content creator into this issue as if it would somehow work.

However I started to notice they had a warped perception on the fandom. Rather than blame the few people that harassed them online with constant asks, they believed that the entire fandom as a whole is to blame as declared it all toxic. Something they insist on repeating to all their fans and making them believe their opinion as fact.

Now for the record I am very aware of how toxic this fandom was and can be at times. I was around since the beginning and have seen just about every drama that has come. From the fans harassing you for not doing the pacifist route in the first time playing, people arguing if either Frisk or Chara is a really bad person, arguing over Frisk's and Chara's gender, is genocide the right choice, is Toriel the bad guy or Asgore, and a controversy revolving around a certain creator of the au Glitchtale (the last one TC coincidentally emulates their "Delay work for one week for every ask" and finds it amusing). I know this fandom is not the best but I love it all the same, it's as much a part of my life as it is for TC. I know I am not perfect at showing my interest for Undertale, as this image of a private ask shows.

Or this time I made a obviously joke ask and apparently I didn't realize a lot of people don't understand sarcasm.

Or when I tried to ask this sincere and nonaggressive question, one of the few times TC isn't putting up some kind of attitude.

Or this other ask from me.

At the end of the day this is just a comic. No one has any right to demand them to continue it or make death threats, this is completely unacceptable. However, at the same time this doesn't mean the creator should dehumanize the entire fandom or punish the few that are being respectful. They wait and what do they get, people mocking them and bullying them. That's what I realized in the past week when I engaged in the comments of a few posts. TC allow their fans to bully the fandom.

I tried to be as calm and reasonable as I can and yet I get called out as a toxic fan. And in the end did TC scold everyone else, no, they basically told me to shut up. I overestimated the fans intelligence and if they could handle basic logic, read the comments for yourself to see my point. As someone with Asperger and anger issues, it's a god given miracle I am still trying to maintain my composure within this insanity that has been going on for years. I have spoken with several content creators who asked to remain anonymous about this entire fiasco and we have similar conclusions about TC.

TC has been through a lot of painful and hurtful comments over the years that they did not deserve in the slightest. They are entitled to do whatever they want with their comic and works. Saying a fandom is or isn't toxic is unhelpful as you fundamentally miss the mark on how fandom culture works. As a creator, it is not right to hang this hiatus over people's heads and string them along. TC does not respect their Undertale fans in the slightest and mocks those who is still waiting. They indirectly encourage their other fans to bully and dehumanize the rest.

I held back on making a comment about all this for two reasons. One, TC's fandom terrifies me. They are complete smug hypocrites who spend way too much time on the internet that they don't realize that if they use their words in real life they will get punched in the face for it. Two, despite everything I still believe that TC can change. I like to believe the best in everyone and that there is hope that maybe this time TC will realize they have become the very thing they hate. That hope has faded to cinders. I'm done with TC, my only concern is the people remaining to wait for the comic.

To everyone who is waiting for Endertale and/or following TC because you like their Undertale stuff, leave them and never come back. They do not respect you, they look down on you, they laugh watching you wait, you deserve better than them. Even if they do finish the comic eventually it will not be made out of love or passion.

DO NOT harass and bully them because of my words. I will not tolerate any attempt to do so.

My final words are for TC if they even decide to read this:

TC, I know we are not friends, you made that clear long ago but I was hoping we could've been. You were a huge inspiration for me in the past and was what pushed me to attempt learning about art. I looked up to you and tried to support you when you were feeling down. You are no longer that person.

You do not have the right to condemn an entire fandom as toxic and declare it as a fact of life. It's people like you that keep the fandoms so divided to this day. It's because of people like you I am scared for my life if I ever mention Undertale in public. Your fixation on the sins of the past prevents us from moving forward. I do not excuse what happened but the past is in the past, get over it and grow up, you are an adult so act like it.

You say you don't owe us any comic or works, well at the same time if you want to mistreat the fandom I care about then I or anybody don't owe you any respect yet I did for nearly five years.

Why? Because I cared about how this all made you feel. What do you see when you look at me, another obsessed toxic fan who should keep their mouth shut or a PERSON with their own thoughts feelings and beliefs?

One of your problems is that you think nothing ever seems to be your fault, just the fans who keep asking. Well maybe they wouldn't have asked if you didn't leave them hanging for almost five years. To me, it no longer matters if you finish Endertale or not.

Maybe you still think it isn't your fault, then that makes me the idiot for hoping you can be better. You hurt me, really hurt me. I don't think I can ever trust someone like you again.

Do you know what I really want?

Your apology. I want you to make a genuine apology to me and the fandom at your actions over the years. I won't block you because being the idiot I am I hope my words mean something to you and you'll want to chat.

But until you wise up ask yourself this familiar question,

Do you really think you are above consequences?

[alienfromthedeepsea]

I’m kinda feeling really sad and shitty, but it’s summer, I’m on break, I’m with my family, I get to travel, etc, so I don’t think I have the right to be unhappy, especially now

[brunchrodent]

With how things are going, it’s probably for the best that we the populace move to a mass civil declaration, stating that we do not respect nor recognize the authority of this so-called “government”.

From here on going forward, I refuse to recognize the diseased presidency, the sycophantic gaggle of morons known as the Supreme Court, or the masturbatory powerfantasy of a wimp-ass brainless richboy known as the cringeworthy DOGE department (Elon should’ve been caned publicly for that bullshit). All departments can firmly pucker up and kiss the darkest part of my ass.

You want me to respect you? Then respect the people instead of fucking them 24/7.

Fuck off, Donny. Fuck off, Alito. Fuck off, Roberts. Fuck off, Elon.

And firmly fuck off to the cultists that worship the taints of these shit heads. Y’all can kindly do this society a favor, and die like the dogs you are. May my words be a hateful hex upon your fascist lives. May you suffer the sickness of dogs long passed from this world. And may no one recognize your gravestone when you pass from this mortal coil.

(Listen, I apologize to everyone if all you’ve seen is me angrily ranting, it’s just that this is good therapy for me and it keeps me from bottling it all up and getting stress migraines.)

[tw1nkee28]

CW: Eyestrain, Blood, Vent(ish) art

"A weary heart seeks solace in the quiet moments."

[indiestsnake]

hey. tumblrs pspsspspspsps

can I just. have the nice words please

it’s been a rough day and I think you all like me more than I do

[goatgoesmbe]

stop being depressed bitch, i have so many shits to do

[z0mbiew00d]

I wouldn’t wish celiac disease on my worst enemy it is truly the worst thing that has happened to me. It’s not something I can heal from it’s not something that goes away with time it’s not something that creeps up on me during a bad day, it’s fucking permanent and there’s nothing I can do. There’s no cure, there’s no meds, there’s nothing. I just have to wake up every day knowing there’s nothing I can do and the people around me won’t take the protective measures to keep me safe.

Doctors, chefs, workers at cafes and fast food restaurants, friends and family. They all don’t care about gluten, and I’m stuck having to deal with the consequences.

[johnathancactus]

just putting this here bc im feeling a bit frustrated with myself right now & talking at nobody helps

cw: not eating enough, & thusly not feeling great; general health; body health; venting

i always feel bad about being so concerned about my health when everybody says im healthy bc i know im not--for context: i probably have arfid & have big issues w food texture to the point where i struggle to eat much of any meat/protein & other vitamins

in the past (before i started taking vitamins & iron supplements) i used to always be dead tired. i knew i wasnt depressed but it was more just that i could barely make my body do anything?? it even got so bad once that i couldnt move my arms for like 3 minutes (which was fucking terrifying bc it came out of nowhere). i used to feel like i was hollow--like there was nothing behind my face but skin & bones. i used to feel sick looking at my body bc i felt like i looked more like a skeleton than a person. i lowkey felt like my body was corroding & eating itself--i wasnt dying but it felt like it

so i was like "oh shit" & started taking vitamins & iron (even though my doctor said my blood work was fine??), and stopped feeling quite as much like death, yay! but even still im usually exhausted & feel like shit... like i still struggle to eat enough and its just frustrating bc i dont want to talk to people about it a ton? i have a bad habit of obessng over my health (prob bc i dont usually feel awesome) & i get by enough to where i seem fine? sometimes im not even sure if im just making this bigger in my head (granted, while im typing this my hands are shaking bc i havent been getting enough to eat lmao) but most people think im making it a big deal? idrk man... like i know i get anxious, & my doctor keeps telling me that im fine, but i still usually feel like shit (not like im dying any more, though! win!)... like people tell me i need to stop worrying about my health but like idfk.... its hard to not worry when i feel like im in the lowest possible bit of qualifying as "normally healthy".... ugh

like i qualify as "fine", but if i eat a meal too late my abdomen becomes concave?? like i know this is a Thing, but it happens to me pretty regularly which makes me tweak tf out because like??? is that realy normal????

its also hard because as a woman, people always go "omg ur so skinny!!! ur so pretty <3 <3 i wish i had ur body!!!" (i'm 5'8" & 104 lbs) because i feel so guilty for wanting to gain weight? i should want this right? like so may people want to be like me--even though i feel sick & dead all the time... like you shouldnt want this--or should i not want to change? sometimes i wonder if i should give up bc it took me 2 years to gain 10lbs...

maybe i just should talk to my therapist about it sometime instead of my ocd idfk... i just want to feel Healthy again.. i feel like its been years since ive felt energized and alive... since i havent felt like i could die if i ended up missing a meal... since i havent been able to see my hip bones stick out like im dying (looking at them makes me feel sick to my stomach)... since i havent felt as if my own body was eating itself... ugh

[bustybounty]

Feeling Invisible (Vent Post)

I've just been feeling so mediocre, so worthless recently and I hate that I have been going through those kind of spiraling thoughts. It's been going on for a while now, and it's a mix of various things, today it's hitting extra hard though. Be it from unemployment, my mom's mood and scheduling often souring my day, body pains, the new invisible braces i have to put on that are very uncomfortable and make snacking and food scheduling difficult, my brother coming over, having fun with him but then he had to go immediately, so we didn't even spend a day together, just half of one (the time he spends here is becoming less and less and it saddens me), maybe some of it has to do with the bad weather, who knows, that could also affect my mood. Another big thing is my frustration with creative stuff now. Drawing, long form stories, all that, has been frustrating to me recently because I feel like nobody actually cares about anything creative I do. A story I wrote did pretty alright a while back because a friend put a hype badge on it, but after that, the 2nd story fell flat in almost every way. I used to do asks on my Tumblr blog, but it became either overwhelming to me or not creatively fulfilling as I wasn't writing about any of my favorite kinks anymore, so I ended up closing them recently. I feel like I can't go back to it before all other 'creativity' aspects of my life get sorted.

I posted my stories and OCs to my tumblr for the first time, and as you might imagine, it didn't go well. I sent asks, some that involved my OCs, because I felt brave in sharing them around in this place, but it's clear the asks were very unappealing as they were all left unanswered. I'm NOT blaming people for not responding to them mind you, it's still saddening though and a blow to my confidence. Other attempts of socializing and friendmaking in this site have been falling flat too, for the same reasons of being ignored/invisible/not good enough. I'm sorry, again, I don't want you people to feel responsible at all because it's not your fault. You're under no obligation to respond! Even if you're not interested, you can just avoid me without saying a word and that's fine too. I promise.

Still, it's hard to know how I'm supposed to feel good and not just unmotivated and let down in my life when things keep going this way, every single day...

I apologize for the vent. I won't be posting more vents, this will be the only one. I hope you all have a rest of a wonderful day, and tomorrow goes well too.