#cwac baby snippets

[mvssmallow]

Hanbin:

“Ssh, we have to be quiet okay? Daddy is rehearsing.” 

He doesn’t know why he bothers, not like their son understands him at this age but hey, it’s worth a try. Don’t ask him why he agreed to bring the baby all the way downtown to watch Jiwon’s tour rehearsals. It was a bad idea but sometimes he caves too easily when Jiwon kisses his neck and tells him he’s beautiful. 

Manipulative jerk.

“BA!” 

“Sssh, baby no. Quiet.” He gathers up their son before he tries to make a run for it (again). Jiwon is talking to his live band and even though he’s a fair distance away, a baby’s voice somehow always carries. A few stage techs look up at them with annoyed or curious looks and he knows it really shouldn’t but he feels guilty anyway. This is Jiwon’s work. 

“BA!” The baby yells again, this time pointing towards the stage and looking at him expectantly, as if he wants to be carried down there. 

“Oh my god.” He mutters under his breath. “He’s right there. He’s not going anywhere.”

Jiwon’s mic turns on then and he tests it a few times. 

After that, it’s all pretty much downhill. 8 months or not, a wriggly baby boy is near impossible to contain. His arms are pretty good at catching and keeping their kids by now but even so, this new kid is really testing the limits of his patience and strength by struggling out of them. 

“NO! Stop it.” He whispers sharply. 

The baby stills in his arms, half giving up and then, heartbreakingly, looks up at him with big teary eyes and a confused frown. 

“Ba?”

“No baby, we can’t go down there. Dad’s working. We can see him later, okay?”

He hates this. Hates even having to restrain his son from seeing his favourite dad. He hates feeling guilty that their son is distracting the stage crew. He hates it. Almost as much as he hates pretending he’s just Jiwon’s friend coming to visit him. 

He cuddles their son into his chest as they make their way out of the arena, letting him sulk and pout but feeling exactly the same way. “We’ll see him later.”

It’s always later. After everyone else has finished with Jiwon. 

Why did they think any of this would be easy?

*****

Jiwon:

Tour rehearsals. A necessary evil he just has to deal with now. Jin dragged him into it, kicking and screaming. He had asked Hanbin to come for moral support and after days of cuddles and kisses and straight up begging, Hanbin grumbled and agreed. 

But their son wasn’t in child care yet. He was too young.

Which means that whenever he looks up to the seats in the arena, there he is. The little wriggling blob struggling in Hanbin’s arms. It’s distracting, sure, but he loves hearing his son call out to him and he almost doesn’t care what anyone thinks about it.

But. 

He hates that the crew are throwing annoyed looks into the stands and then at him. He hates that he can’t even get mad at it because this is work. He wants to put his family first but he can’t. He hates that all this is probably making Hanbin feel like shit right now. He hates that he’s forced to even care what people think about his family. 

After mic check, the baby yells out a few more times and then, when he’s in the middle of responding to the lighting guy, the baby babbling just stops. 

He looks up towards the seats but they’re empty now. 

“Finally.” A stage tech says. “Who the hell brings a baby to these things?”

“You got kids?” He asks, trying everything to keep the rising anger out of his voice. 

“Hell, no.” 

“Then you have no idea what it’s like.” He says, walking off and pretending to be engrossed in his mic pack and call sheet. He doesn’t want to be rude but this fucking spotty hipster better keep his mouth shut unless he wants a fight today. 

He wishes he could leave and go looking for Hanbin and their son but he can’t. He knows he’s can’t. So many people need him here and this is all their jobs right now. He’s too much a professional to fuck that up and he knows that Hanbin wouldn’t want him to anyway. 

It’s not till much later, way past lunch break, that he bolts outside and calls Hanbin’s phone. 

“Hey.”

“Hey! Where are you? Are you still here?”

“Yeah, we’re in the car park. He got really fussy and loud in there....”

“I’ll come out.”

“No, it’s okay. I think I’ll take him home. This was a bad idea, Jiwon. He’s not ready for all this.”

“Just let me see him for a bit before you go?”

He hears Hanbin sigh heavily. He hates that sound. 

“Yeah, okay.”

“BA BA BA!” 

He loves it, the way their son automatically lights up and reaches for him as soon as they see each other. Their daughter was growing up so fast and has friends and hobbies now but the baby was still his baby and wanted to be held all the time. He’ll miss it when he grows up too.

“Awww, I missed you!” He says, hugging the warm blob tightly. “Sorry it’s so boring.”

“It’s not boring.” Hanbin says. “He loves it. He wants to be on stage with you.”

“Oh. Then we should-”

“No.” Hanbin replies, shaking his head with a frown. “Everyone got pissed at us. It’s distracting. You know that.”

He does know that. He knows Hanbin’s right but it doesn’t mean he has to like it. 

“This sucks.” He says, kissing their son’s chubby cheeks. “Cutest kid in the world and they plan a bloody tour now.”

“Cutest kid? Man, if your own daughter heard you talking....” 

He smiles at Hanbin. “Come on, she thinks we’re lame now that she goes to school. At least this kid still likes me.”

“He loves you.” Hanbin murmurs, voice soft and warm.

He leans across the car to kiss Hanbin suddenly. Just because he wanted to. 

“It’ll get easier right?”

Hanbin looks between him and their son. There’s uncertainty in his eyes but then, a small optimistic smile. “Yeah, I hope so.”

[mvssmallow]

“I wanna see daddy!”

“No, it’s way past your bedtime. I’m going to tape it, we can watch it tomorrow okay?”

He just stares at their daughter, barely 4 and already asserting a kind of manipulative dominance in the house that he’s half terrified about. She might be in fairy pyjamas but there’s nothing soft and delicate about her glare and pout.

“BUT I WANNA SEE DADDY!”

He’s a father of two now. Discipline is critical for a fiery kid like her. He knows. But fuck it’s hard. As cute as she looks when she’s angry, he’s tired as hell and their son didn’t sleep very well last night so he’s just going to have to shut it down and deal with her hating him in about 2 minutes.

“We use our inside voice! I don’t want you shouting at me just because you want things. Your brother is asleep so don’t wake him up.” He says, as firmly as he can bear, before the guilt eats him alive. 

“But I wanna see daddy......” She repeats in a wobbly voice, the fight gone straight out of her tiny body.

Oh god. Here it comes:  the watery eyes, trembling lips, slumped shoulders....

“We’ll watch it together tomorrow okay? You, me and your brother.” He says, trying to muster up some cheerful energy that he really doesn’t have. 

“But....you said.....you said.....daddy was beforming....” She says mournfully, in between pitiful sobs.

“Performing. He’s performing.”

“So we watch daddy per-forming?” She asks, small mouth trying to say the big word and looking up at him with tears still stuck to her eyelashes.

He’s a father of two now. Between him and Jiwon, he’s meant to the disciplinarian but dammit if this kid doesn’t test him on a daily basis. He knows Jiwon thinks it’s cute and let’s so much stuff fly when he’s at home but he has that luxury; the kids are better behaved when their cool rap dad is at home. A small part of him breaks at the thought that it’s because they know Jiwon will have to go away for work again in a few days and how all the toys in the world don’t actually replace having him around. They’re smart enough to make every moment count.

No 4 year old should have figured that out so fast.

And that’s it really. That’s how he finds himself sitting on the couch at 9pm, feeding their son in his lap (because he woke up after all) and watching their daughter lay on the floor in front of the TV, grinning ear to ear because it’s way past her bedtime and yeah yeah, because she won yet another battle. But oh well, he’ll let this one go. Jiwon’s performing at a big outdoor concert and he knows the song doesn’t actually have any swear words in it for once.

He’ll let this one go because deep down, maybe she can’t articulate it to him d due to her simplistic 4 year old mind, but he knows she must miss Jiwon just as much as he does.

It’s been 5 years, he’s watched countless live music shows and tours by now, but when Jiwon rises up on the stage, dressed head to toe in a black suit, with one purple and one blue Chuck Taylor on each foot and that famous arrogant smirk, his heart flips so aggressively that he feels like a teenager again.

Their daughter is already up on her feet, “It’s daddy! It’s daddy in the TV!”

He smiles right back at her because yeah, that’s her daddy.

[mvssmallow]

“A little to the left Jiwon.” The photographer orders, waving her hand back and forth. “Left a bit....a bit more....okay, perfect. Hold it there.” 

The photoshoot has been dragging on for too long but his album was about to drop and he can’t afford a scandal now, especially not over something like this. He reminds himself to be grateful for his success but with the hot lights burning his eyes and sweat pooling underneath layers and layers of clothes, it’s hard to smile like he means it. 

Hanbin would kick his ass if he ever heard what was going on in his head. He’d probably get the kids in on it too. It makes the corners of his mouth curl up automatically. 

“That’s better Jiwon, hold it there....bit more...bit more....okay, good.” The photographer sighs in relief, lowering her camera and ordering the spotlights to dim down. “Think we got it but Jin wants some shots of you in the suit so maybe we’ll get those done after a coffee break?”

“Yeah, okay.” He nods, already taking off the bulky jacket they put him in. Coffee is banned right now but he’ll settle for a diet coke with ice. 

It’s a sunny quiet day outside and once he’s back in his sweatpants, he finds a shady secluded patch of grass to sit on. There’s an unread message from Hanbin on his phone. 

[He cried after you left. But now he’s eating grass]

[wth? whys he eatin grass]

[How am I supposed to know?! We’re at the park and he’s eating grass.]

[well did u stop him? is he gonna get sick]

[what kind of parent do you think I am!? Of course I did. But then he cried when I tried to take the grass away. I googled it btw. He’ll be fine.]

Hanbin sends a photo through and as soon as it loads, he laughs out loud to himself. It’s their youngest son, in a navy blue onesie, complete with a red hat that says ‘Please take care of this bear’ on it. His eyes are big but his gummy smile is bigger. There’s bits of grass all over his cheeks and a small clump in his chubby fist. He looks so proud of himself and completely ridiculous. 

[fuck hanbin, he’s so cute]

[I know right haha]

[did u dress him like paddngton bear tho?]

[yeah, he likes it]

[he’s like 11 mnths old, just admt that YOU like it]

[I’m his dad. I can do what I want]

Hanbin sends through more photos of their son, each more unbearable than the one before it. The last one is of both of them laying on the picnic rug, Hanbin is in mid-laughter because their son is offering him the clump of grass. 

He sets that one as his phone background. Fuck the rumours. It’s too cute.

“Jiwon?”

He looks up, smile still plastered on his face. “Yeah?”

The photoshoot assistant shrinks back a few steps and bows his head apologetically. “They just sent me to check if you were ready to continue?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.” He nods, sighing inwardly about how much time he misses with the kids. They’re growing up and he’s not even there for half of it. 

[gotta go, see you this weekend]

[ok, me and Spongebob Paddington Bear miss you]

[the other 2 dont?]

[nah, they’re older so we’re really uncool now, it’s ok the baby bear is our best kid anyway]

[omg]

[I raised them, I can say what I want!]

[well, i rlly miss you and all our baby bears]

[i miss you too, stop moping and go back to work dad]

[ok, love you xxj]

[love you too xhxj]

He scrolls through all the recent photos again, past the baby cow-bear shots and to the other ones of their eldest daughter helping Hanbin renovate the treehouse and their middle son playing the piano. He is lucky. So lucky. Two more days and he’ll get to see them all again. Hopefully they haven’t forgotten all about him.

Sighing heavily, he relunctantly turns off his phone and walks inside the studio and back to work. 

[mvssmallow]

She’d fallen asleep some time in the evening. The baby monitor sat on the dinner table as they tried to celebrate New Year’s Eve quietly with their families and friends.

“Not sure about fireworks but that kid could sleep through a hurricane.” Jiwon says, opening up the third bottle of wine.

But by the time it’s nearly midnight and they go to watch the fireworks from their balcony, the baby monitor in his pocket suddenly stirs and crackles into life.

“I think she knows the fireworks are coming.” He says, wishing the others a happy New Year before going back inside and sliding the glass doors closed behind him.

It’s quiet, still and so serene in the blue glow of her room. The music box was still playing Christmas songs in the background because they both secretly love them.

He isn’t really surprised that she’s already completely awake, staring up at him with big dark eyes and that toothless gummy smile. Her pudgy arms reach towards him, wanting to be held.

It makes his heart ache every single time.

He tucks her against his chest as they stand next to the window, listening to the countdown outside and watching the first of the fireworks burst in the night sky.

“Happy New Year baby.” He says, kissing the top of her head and trying not to cry at the way she still smiles up at him and holds onto his shirt.

He can hear unfamiliar voices from all the parties around them. He can hear familiar voices from their own balcony, where there are varying degrees of intoxication but probably the same level of happiness. At least he hopes so.

He loves that they’re not alone. He loves that his daughter has the big family that he never did, with cousins and uncles and grandparents. Life is hard, he loves that she has so many layers of backup.

But he always wanted to be alone with her on New Years, in a quiet moment, away from the noise, as the world swirls chaotically around them.

The bedroom door opens and closes. He doesn’t turn around, he knows who it is, and doesn’t bother to hide the sigh as Jiwon wraps his arms around them both, like a warm security blanket.

“Happy New Year baby.” Jiwon murmurs against his neck before moving to kiss both his cheeks and sliding their fingers together to cradle their daughter’s head.

If only there was a way to make a single moment last forever.

[mvssmallow]

The SUV was huge and unnecessary. Just like the 18 inch rims, tinted windows and customised Bose sound system. But Jiwon wanted him to have it so he just had to live with it. 

“My tunes need to sound good when you’re playing them!” Jiwon exclaimed at the garage. “Chanwoo will hook you up with some fresh sub-woofers.”

He had thrown his hands in the air and surrendered the keys. It was nice though, seeing Jiwon rolling up his sleeves and helping his old garage workmates pimp out the ride.

He really doesn’t see the point of sub-woofers though. Not when he plays Barney and Friends or Sesame Street all day long anyway. The baby seems to like it and if there’s one thing that he hates more than driving, it’s driving in a massive car with a screaming baby. He’ll do anything to maintain the peace.

Sometimes, when she’s feeling generous, she lets him turn on the radio. 

“Hey, kiddo. It’s your dad’s song. Just ignore all the swearing.” He says, looking at her drooling all over the plastic starfish toy. He wonders if she recognises Jiwon’s voice yet. She probably doesn’t. She doesn’t even recognise her own reflection. 

“Daddy is better than Barney right?” He asks, pausing for an answer because his sleep deprived brain gets the wild idea that she understands him. Maybe she does. “Barney can’t even rap.”

She gives him a gummy smile and the Snoopy onesie that was clean 5 minutes ago was now completely ruined again. 

“You’re just as messy as him. Did you know?” He says, reaching to clean her face for the tenth time this morning. “I know it makes no genetic sense but we’ll just blame him okay? You didn’t get all these nasty habits from me.”

Loud. Messy. Drives him absolutely crazy. But there is nothing on earth that he loves more.

Yep. She was definitely Jiwon’s kid.

[mvssmallow]

The Range Rover was excessive, he knows. Hanbin called him crazy when he drove it home but was it really crazy to make sure there was always 5000 pounds of car between the lunatics on the road and the two most precious people in his life? 

It’s crazy he didn’t get them a tank.

“Jiwon. It’s huge.” Hanbin says flatly. “She’s like the size of a watermelon. Why do I need to drive her around in that?”

“It has a 5 star ANCAP rating. If you think I’m gonna let you both drive around in that flimsy car of yours, you got another thing coming.” He says firmly before flipping through the manual to install the baby seat. 

Hanbin just leans against the wall and watches the struggle. Their daughter stares at him from her position against Hanbin’s chest and he swears he saw their matching judgemental faces. They were so alike that it was actually terrifying. He was feeling outnumbered already.

After the third attempt, he’s broken out into a sweat and throws the manual on the ground. “Stupid manual! How can the seatbelt go around the bottom bit? It’s not long enough!”

Hanbin just rolls his eyes and sighs quietly. 

“I heard that.” He says in defeat. 

“Here, take her.” Hanbin says tiredly, handing him the wriggly blob of human before climbing in to install the baby seat with some kind of freakish military precision that he’s not even shocked at anymore. 

He settles for making faces at the baby, who just smiles and drools all over his t-shirt. “Your dad is a genius. Hope you got all his genes.”

[mvssmallow]

Love the snippets. Can you also indulge us in how Hanbyul is with the kiddos? Thanks :)

It’s tricky because she’d be 12 or so when BeeBee comes along. That’s a tough year because of pending high school, hormones, boys (that stupid kid Minhyung), studying, music, ballet, saturday maths classes.......

But. Going over to Hanbin and Jiwon’s apartment will be like a crazy distracting holiday. It’d be like entering an alternate universe where all she has to do is lay on the playmat with the baby and laugh at home sleep deprived her brother is. It’s therapeutic! 

By the time Ele and SpongeBob come along, she’ll be one of the main baby sitters and a fully fledged teenager with her own life to be thinking about. It’s crazy to think that her brother will have three kids and she herself has to be thinking about her future and boys (again, that stupid kid Minhyung). 

BeeBee will love her OF COURSE. Aunt Hani always does her hair the best and gets her started with her own ballet lessons (that Hanbyul will eventually teach). As BeeBee grows up, for obvious reasons, Hanbyul will be an ESSENTIAL female role model and guide for her. Hanbin is very proud of his girls. 

Ele will colour pictures, share his legos and make her watch Space Jam for the 20th time. SpongeBob will sit like a blob and gummy smile at her as usual. What else is new? He’s too cute and expects to be carried around and fawned over all day.  

I’m not sure I’ll be writing CWAC for this long or if anyone will even want to be reading it, but if I get to the end, she’ll be a young lady going off to University and living her very own life. It’s actually pretty cute. 

[mvssmallow]

The video of Bobby with Raon has put me in massive baby mode! Can I request a snippet of Jiwon first meeting and holding Minji or Jaewon? I'm assuming the cwac kids birth/adoption will get to see as part of cwac. No pressure if you're too busy, I just had no idea how much I wanted something like that till I saw the clip.

I DON’T KNOW BUT I WANT ALL THE BABY STORIES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE....

[mvssmallow]

If anyone is wondering, all the short posts about the CWAC kids are now in the tag: cwac baby snippets and in my masterlist under the heading CWAC Kids.

[mvssmallow]

I'm in now way trying to rush CWAC along, but do you have any idea how long it will be before the boys get their baby girl? I feel like Hanbin. Now that you've given us snippets of her, I can't wait till the whole family finally comes together. Also can you give a hint on how the boys will be with her/their dad-style? Jiwon looks so awkward and nervous with the little girls on iKON TV, that I keep imagining him like that with her. Haha

Well, CWAC is a trilogy and what you’re reading right now is Part I (or Phase I). They won’t have any kids until the later phases. I mean, I could speed through but we’d miss so many other things. 

Hanbin will be a protective, neurotic and stressed out Helicopter parent when they have their daughter. He always thinks he’s failing miserably when in fact, he’s not doing that badly at all. I like to think that he’ll eventually be pretty similar to the MV Hanbin. 

Jiwon is the fun parent. He’s got a rap career to juggle with too so it does get a bit hard for him to be there all the time. He might be awkward and nervous with little girls on IKON TV but they aren’t his. It’ll be different when they’re his. And remember that he’ll have practice when his brother has his kid (in cwac and irl)!

[mvssmallow]

omg you're back! kinda?! Did you know how cwac was going to end? Like when you started writing it?! i love it so much!!!

No. I didn’t even know I was going to continue writing it, haha. It was meant to be a tiny snippet to go with some art. I know how it’s going to end now but then, so do all you guys. You know they’re going to have a few kids and Jiwon is going to buy a massive SUV and too many baby nikes. That’s how it’s going to end. Super mega boring. =) 

[mvssmallow]

“You’re too loud!”

“M’not! It’s fine!”

“Are you arguing with me when you’re actually inside me?!”

“Well, I can’t help it! How d’you want me to be when we’re doing this!?”

“You’re going to wake-”

And right on cue, a cry pierces through the night. 

“-her up.” Hanbin finishes with a resigned sigh. 

He attempts to keep going but Hanbin glares pointedly at him until he sighs too and slowly pulls out. 

“I told you it was too loud.” Hanbin says snidely, fumbling around the bed for his t-shirt and boxers. 

“It’s not my fault she has the hearing of a bat.” He mutters. 

Hanbin shoots him another warning look before walking out the room. The baby monitor is still on their bedside table and as he lays back against the sheets, he can hear the crying tapering off to a few hiccupy sobs as Hanbin talks to her.

“Hey peanut, what’s up?”

She must have said something funny because Hanbin laughs and says, “You’re really bent on not letting your dad do anything he likes huh? Maybe you can ruin rapping and gaming for him next.”

He stares at the ceiling and smiles like an idiot. It’s impossible to be mad, not when she makes Hanbin as happy as this. It’s worth the sacrifice. 

Sort of. 

He’s nearly asleep again by the time Hanbin slides back under the sheets and snuggles against his back. 

“She okay? What did she want?”

“Oh you know, she wanted to discuss the global financial crisis.” Hanbin says sarcastically. “What do you think she wanted?! She was hungry and bored. As usual.”

“Hmmm. She asleep now?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” He rolls over and kisses Hanbin on the nose. “Since you’re back and we’re both awake....”

Hanbin rolls his eyes but there’s no malice in it.“You’re both really stubborn and predictable as hell. You know that?”

“It’s genetic.” He says with a shrug. “It’s because we both like you.”

The smile he gets in return goes right to his heart but there’s no time for being sentimental, not when Hanbin sits up to take off his t-shirt and then leans back down to give him the slowest, dirtiest and messiest kiss they’ve shared in weeks. 

“You like me, huh?”

He reaches underneath the sheets to pull at the soft worn cotton of Hanbin’s boxer shorts. “Yep.”

“Get back in me then.”

[mvssmallow]

It’s been a long week but his album was recording on schedule so Jin cut him some slack and let him go home early. It might’ve had something to do with him whining about Hanbin’s new baby but well, whatever it takes to score an early dismissal, he’ll do it. 

The baby isn’t really a baby anymore. He’s nearly 8 months old now. Time really did fly after this kid was born. Their daughter was spending a few hours every afternoon in Early Learning Classes but Hanbin still stays home to watch their newest rugrat. 

He sneaks into the apartment, taking off his jacket and shoes before padding into the lounge room to kiss Hanbin on the cheeks with a quiet, “Hi baby.”

But there he is, his other so called baby, sitting on a playmat in the middle of the room with his back to them, busy and hard at work building a tower of blocks. Their daughter has the hearing of a bat but their son gets so engrossed in his tasks and games that for a few months, they were actually worried there might’ve been something wrong with his hearing. 

“Hi little genius.”

The surprised smiles are always worth it. “Ba!”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He grins, kicking off his slippers and laying down on the playmat. “Did you have a good day with your sister this morning?”

“Beebee!”

“She let you call her that? Are you sure?” He laughs, picking up a yellow block and stacking it on top of the blue pile.

“Boo. Boo!” Suddenly distressed and alarmed, he watches with curiosity as his son reaches for the yellow block, taking it from the tower carefully and then holds out a blue block in offering instead. 

“Thank you. Is that for me? Did I get it wrong?” He asks, taking the block and placing it with all the other similar colours. 

“Boo!”

“Blue.”

“Booo?”

“Yeah, blue.”

“Boo!”

Their daughter picked up words and language pretty fast but their son, well…as clever as he is at the most obscure things, he still has trouble with some letters and tends to substitute them with sounds he already knows how to say. This week he’s been favouring the letter B and it’s the cutest fucking thing on Earth. Whenever he tries to say anything starting with a B, his mouth pouts like a baby duck plushie. 

Just like his dad. 

Hanbin always makes unbearably cute kids. 

Wonder what the next one will be like.

And really, after a thought like that enters his head, he can’t hold back much longer. Lunging forward, he picks up their weird little genius and watches as he giggles and flails in the air. 

“Airplane!”

“Air-bane!”

“Ah, it’s close enough.” He laughs, laying onto his back and letting the wriggly 8 month old sprawl all over his chest. “Geez, you’re getting big now, huh? Since when did you feel like a baby elephant?”

“Jiwon!” Hanbin sighs in the background. 

“Well, it’s true! He’s so big now! I keep thinking he’s still just a little baby.”

Hanbin snorts. “He is still just a little baby.”

“Yeah, a little baby elephant.” He says, pulling faces and trying to get another giggle. It’s always the best sound. 

“Well, he definitely has the memory of one. We went grocery shopping yesterday and they had a promo poster of one of your shows hanging up. He kept saying ba ba ba! over and over until I literally took him to look at your face.”

He laughs and leans up to kiss the chubby cheeks in front of him. “He’s a genius, Hanbin. You made a genius.”

“We made a genius.” Hanbin replies with a contented smile. “A genius baby elephant.”