#damn. this would make a killer shitpost

[sapphicrot]

Your cycle consumes itself. What have you become?

(ˡᵒʳᵉ ᵈᵘᵐᵖ ᵇᵉˡᵒʷ ᶜᵘᵗ)

SO THIS IS MY INV VS SAINT AU!! It started as a shitpost and uh. Spiralled. Out of control. And now it’s genuine lol.

Enot and Saint are basically mortal enemies, and Saint needs to get Enot OUT OF THE CYCLES in order to continue his work, because this damn horny bastard won’t stop hunting him down…for some reason. Isn’t ascension the greatest gift you can bestow upon the creatures suffering in this barren wasteland? At least Saint thinks that. Inv, on the other hand, does not.

Enot stumbles upon Pebbles while passing through the silent construct, trying to find food one day. He takes a liking to this half-dead pink toaster, bringing him scraps of fabric as blankets and lanterns, and the best part…talking to him. Inv, somehow, can talk to iterators. And despite Pebbles’ very limited ability to reply, he does appreciate the company, and slowly the cycles become less agonizing. Pebbles has a friend. However, when Saint finds him, his immediate reaction is to attempt to ascend him—and he is tackled by a very angry slugcat, hissing and spitting at him in defence of its friend.

When Saint attempts to ascend him, he misses, just barely clipping Enot’s tail and glitching him half-out of reality. He then realizes, to his horror, that his karma seems to be draining. Whatever the hell this thing is, it’s dangerous, and Saint retreats to restore his karma (and heal some of the nasty wounds Enot gave him).

Inv turns back to see Pebbles, staring at him in pure fear, before he simply whispers out a “Thank…you…”. And that’s when Inv makes it his mission to save Pebbles (and everyone else) from Saint.

This leads to Inv running around the map, hot on Saint’s heels, trying to get any and all the iterators to figure out a way to get off their damn strings and LIVE again! Most of them are collapsed or semi-collapsed, so it’ll be an uphill battle, but when a glitchy, teleporting slugcat with the ability to speak tells you to do something…you’d be kinda inclined to do it.

Anyways the reason Enot can’t be ascended is because he is happy to give in to every single one of the great taboos. Wrath, Lust, Friendship, Gluttony, and Self Preservation. He revels in them. And if he can help the others experience them, and become happy with living again, they’ll be immune too! Also he is ridiculously OP to the point of him basically just having DevTools active because I think it’s Funny. He can glitch-teleport and drains the karma of beings around him. He also talks super casually and I think it’s funny.

A little bit of their dynamic hehe:

“Hey, pal!”

“I would like you to stop calling me that, please. You may call me the Saint.”

“Ahah. Not happening.”

“You are incredibly disrespectful.”

“Hey man, I’m not the one calling myself a saint but then running around killing shit and acting like it’s a good thing.”

“You use such vulgar words. I ascend beings, freeing them from the torment of these endless cycles. It is my purpose.”

“Even the ones who don’t want to go? Bro, you don’t even ask. The last robot you almost merked was screaming “no wait” at you, and you still think you’re in the right here? You’re not some kind of righteous saint, that’s called being a fuckin’ serial killer.”

“You do not understand what you are talking about!”

“Whoa, buddy! Are you gettin’ mad? Ain’t that…a lil taboo? PFFT look at your face!”

“I am not tolerating this any longer. Goodbye.”

That’s all I can think of rn! Send asks if you like!

[scoobydoodean]

links to all the crit dramas? plz? pretty pretty plz? with plzes on top?

Bestie that is a BIG ask and I did not keep up with all the links for all of these (nor would it be feasible to link all of the wank that happened in some cases, and I think in other cases, it would be poor form). But here’s a rundown in (to the best of my memory) chronological order.

Poor wet cat failed pacifists Cas

I think this one may have more context than I know—it's a fairly common motif anyway and has been for years. But the disk horse was reignited at some point because Courtney Queermania said that Dean is, in fact, willing to be inconvenienced by Cas. This did not sit well with anti-dean destiels, who went on the post to tell Courtney they are wrong about everything because *looks at notes* Cas was dedicated to pacifism and Dean forced him to be an evil killer or some other made up nonsense. Dean also forced Cas to fall from heaven and poor bumbling billion year old baby Cas can't even take a shit without Dean's say so, so everything is always Dean's fault and he can't even be grateful and is mean and evil and probably abusive too etc etc. Funny stuff from people who ship Dean and Cas. Btw. Elements of this camp had been sending Courtney hate mail for months before this for daring to post a poll featuring canonical events that occur in the actual show.

Deangirl Uquiz

In April, I made a 50-question True/False uquiz called "How sus do you look to a deanfan (me)?" and said you were sus if you got anything less than like an 80 or something. It was supposed to be a silly, tongue-in-cheek shitpost. I did most of my fandom interaction over on @i-make-fun-of-spn-characters at the time, but intentionally did NOT post this uquiz over there (to a much larger audience) because the uquiz I'd made was meant for a small group of like-minded mutuals and followers who would actually understand the context and find it amusing.

Well. It ended up spreading.

Deancrits got ahold of it and were very very mad that I dared to say things like, "Dean is not largely responsible for Sam and Cas's issues" and "People should have laughed at Dean's jokes more" and "Sam and Cas didn't actually deserve Dean's trust in season 4/6 because they were gaslight gatekeep girlbossing and could not be trusted". They grabbed my uquiz to use like a fleshlight, then discarded it on the ground and cried that it was too big around to suit their tiny wieners.

Deancrits drove their followers to brigade my post and my page. I received hate mail. People spewed venom at me directly. Worst of all, someone I don't give a damn about told me I am not funny. :(((( People pushed and made uquizes to "combat" mine. I spawned countless vagues all over spnblr--some supportive, some spewing venom about deanfans violent hatred (???) for Sam and Cas. Whole mutualships were lost between people I didn't even know over this uquiz. It was nuts out there.

I sexily evaded deancrits with my sexy ways while they chased me through the town square, trying to wrestle me into a hair shirt. I edited the uquiz with some more snark since deancrits made it all about them anyway, and changed my icon to flaming Elmo and probably changed my header to say "@ Deancrits Suck my Ass" or something I don't remember. I think I became genuinely angry at one point for about 5 minutes. After that, I remembered a deancrit casgirl took my 50 question uquiz several times in a row, shitting out their insides with rage the entire time, then posted the screenshot of their 0% to all of their followers like the trophy head of some vanquished beast, letting out a warrior howl of victory. To this day, I could not tell you why they thought this would stick it to me. However, this was so incredibly funny that to this day I still risk pissing myself laughing when I think about it. To get that 0, they also had to call Dean their poor little meow meow btw.

Vegan Sam

Every few years deancrit samgirls start this really funny disk horse about how Dean is an evil food tamperer who doesn’t respect that Sam is a vegan. This, of course, is also a violation of Sam's bodily autonomy (see section below). Victoria Angelsdean dared to make an original post stating that Sam is not, in fact, a vegan and never ever has been one. This made vegan Sam truthers really mad, and it was really funny.

Later on, because Courtney Queermania had been receiving a continuous stream of hate mail from deancrits since February, I had lodged a threat (blackmail) to make a second uquiz of evil and villainy in retaliation should any more hate mail be sent to Courtney. During the "Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor" disk horse, I made good on this threat, and featured a question about whether or not Sam is a vegan, which made them mad yet again.

Also this post was fun.

Jesus!Sam

Back in April, tumblr user christ-figure-bracket took it upon themselves to create a poll tournament to determine the ultimate christ figure in fiction. Samgirls have long enjoyed paralleling Sam with Jesus, and nominated him for the tournament. In the first round, Sam was put up against Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia—literal lion Jesus. Samgirls were determined to bring Sam victory. Much of SPNblr endeavored to assist because it would be funny if Sam won. I was a stick in the mud about it, and gave this as my reasoning:

#i’m sorry I know Sam beating Aslan would be funny but I can’t stand the sam = jesus take #worst thing sam girls ever came up with #and that’s a large hurdle to clear #not even because i have a problem with people wanting to read into things and explore symbolism #it’s because some of them get gigantic heads about it and then act like they’re being persecuted for their beliefs

Lo and behold—they proceeded to prove me right.

Very early on, some samgirls started telling people who voted against Sam to kill themselves, and complaining openly by name about fellow samgirls who didn't support their plight. However, the real trouble started when christ-figure-bracket made it clear in a humorous manner that they would prefer not to have wincest shippers in their notes. Enraged, angry wincest shippers began sending christ-figure-bracket hate mail, and adding wincest fic and art to their posts and sending it in DMs, and saying they were being persecuted for their beliefs. christ-figure-bracket could barely block them fast enough. Samgirls cleverly recollected—from a few hours before—that Sam had been placed against literal lion Jesus in the very first round. This and the wincest shipper blocking clearly implied christ-figure-bracket's barely-concealed hatred for samgirls. They were no impartial moderator—no! They intended to skew the poll to destroy Sam!

Anyway, christ-figure-bracket removed Sam from the entire tournament as a punishment. Sonic the Hedgehog ended up winning the whole thing, btw. Also I thought it was funny that Sam got kicked out so I said so in some tags. I got some absolutely batshit mail about my "unfandom behavior" and how I place myself as some "sane anti bully saint" and then the person pinned a vaguepost on their page about me choosing who to bully and who to baby for like a month.

Jesus!Sam disk horse returned for a part 2 when Courtney Queermania said something like, "Making a t-shape with your arms should be called 'Sammying'" and got this shit in their inbox:

Dean winning the best tits poll

People got really mad that Sam didn't win this. There was also a lot of arguing about "tits" versus "pecs" and whether Sam has good tits or good pecs.

Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor

One day, Courtney Queermania dared to say on their own blog, that they were considering whether Sam’s autonomy actually gets violated anymore than anyone else’s, and weren't sure that it does.

This suggestion resulted in a firehose of anonymous hate mail on Courtney's blog, about what a terrible evil person Courtney is for daring to think this, about how Sam is the specialist most autonomy-less adult baby ever to exist, and how deangirls daring to possibly deny this truth or suggest anyone else ever experienced a violation of their autonomy is a violation of samgirls bodily autonomy in of itself.

To be clear, NOT ONCE did any of us go on any samgirl's page to interact with ANY of them in any negative way. And yet, samgirls fully treated all of us as absolutely evil horrible insensitive people who were actually harming them irl by posting things on our own blogs. While their friends spewed absolutely vile hate messages at Courtney, samgirl blogs were making posts about OUR cruelty and how any of us daring to find humor within the onslaught was deeply evil and insensitive toward them. It was literally argued that Samgirls themselves are all super special victims of abuse who all of us (who clearly have never been through anything bad ever) were being insensitive toward. So of course that mode of thinking within the samgirl community encouraged the hate bombing to continue as some justified form of "retaliation" against our cruelty.

Genuinely I think the hate mail on this went on for like 1-2 months. Some really really ugly vile shit was sent mixed in with some really funny shit. Questions were pondered such as, "Wait a minute—how is everyone defining autonomy???" "Is a demon tricking Sam a violation of Sam's autonomy?"" "Do Deangirls just want to give all of Sam's Super Special Traumas to Dean, who has never been through anything, ever?" "How many incidents can PK come up with where Sam violated Dean's autonomy within 3 minutes?" I posted the aforementioned blackmail uquiz, and Courtney gave all of us this incredible baby Sam image that shall live on in infamy (and haunt all of our dreams).

Psychic!Dean or: Sam's stolen valor part 2

I believe it all started when Laura ilarual made a post talking about a funny headcanon they came up with in a discord server, wherein Dean managing to predict the future fairly frequently is actually a display of latent psychic abilities Dean isn't aware he has. Courtney Queermania also joked about it, which is a crime punishable by death, because Courtney (a completely normal, nice person) is actually the devil incarnate according to a variety of hate anons who have targeted them nonstop since February 2023 for literally no fucking reason.

This resulted in this hate mail, and also blended with the general autonomy disk horse that was still going on in Courtney's inbox at the time.

I think what was funny to everyone about Psychic!Dean was how spitting mad it made people for absolutely no reason other than it was somehow perceived as "stolen valor" by samgirls. I started shitposting after that about how Dean can sense hidden rooms. Psychic!Dean has become one of my favorite headcanons since—we're all rather fond of it now.

Gun Safety: A Commentary on pillows and black store clerks

This is two different diskhorses in a trenchcoat that happened with deancrit destiels/casgirls. Once again—me and my friends never went on anyone's page to interact with anyone in a negative way.

This disk horse had two related flavors: is Dean bad and evil and the devil incarnate for 1) sleeping with a gun under his pillow and/or 2) Shooting Jack in the back to get his attention and keep him from strangling a black store clerk to death? Also, are either or both of these things abusive because of... the lack of gun safety?

I suppose you can guess what side deancrit casgirls landed on regarding both of these issues. It was suggested that the sheer possibility that Dean might hurt poor white baby Jack's feefees should trump the life of the innocent black store clerk he was strangling to death in a rage. Naturally.

Regarding the former vein of discourse: Someone got really really mad at Victoria angelsdean and me for making posts on our own blogs that didn't frame Dean as the source of all evil in the world for having a gun under his pillow, and started going through our blogs reblogging things and being an insufferably condescending asshat in tags with a very transparent goal. Among their complaints, were that "The Prisoner" is an incidence of "domestic violence" against Cas, and that Cas shoving his hand into a child's chest to feel for his soul causing him excruciating pain is perfectly fine, but Dean sleeping with a gun under his pillow is *looks at notes* abusive to Jack. Also they thought it was very important to remind all of us that their dad was in the army for some reason.

I was completely unable to take any of this seriously. If you haven't been on my page long, you might not be very familiar with my potty mouth, but it's important here. I've been here a long enough time that I've seen countless kind people get hate bombed by ugly disgusting assholes in this fandom, and this year I simply had enough. Somewhere around the 20th time I saw fellow deangirls get absolutely vile messages from deancrits or obnoxiously condescending reblogs full of nonsense in the year of our lord 2023, I started endeavoring to embarrass them. One way I did this was by equating deancrits who come onto deangirls blogs to police their posts and act like insufferable condescending assholes... with a dude who walks into a men's locker room and immediately whips his dick out. Everyone else is clothed, but this one dude starts running around naked, showing everyone his cock and going "LOOK HOW BIG MY COCK IS. SUCK ON IT" and not only is he being annoying and weird and harassing people—his dick is actually tiny. Basically I began saying, "Stop whipping your dick out on everybody else's blogs, acting like your cock is big and huge and bulging and I need to get down on my knees and suck it. No one is going to suck you tiny cock just because you decided to whip it out."

I used this metaphor with the person who was being a condescending ass on my blog. I promptly got accused of making "violent sexual threats" by one of their friends, and then another one showed up to tell me, "If internet cancellation were real, you would be so cancelled for this." I changed my header to say, “Cancelled by Ligma Balls” and blocked like 6 people and my blog has been blessedly free of deancrit casgirls throwing tantrums and trying to hit me with their babyhands since.

[mmurderviictim]

love a man with fat tits and homicidal tendencies

[whump-queen]

mcu (my chemical universe)

[trashyslashers]

May I get a killer dbd matchup pls? 🖤

Also, THANK YOU BBY I know you doing your best, sorry this dump truck is long ❤️❤️❤️

Looks: I’m 21 F, 5’3 bi. I have moles, lots of scars on my body and 2 tattoos. I’m a bit chunky ngl but nothing too bad with kinda long brown hair. I also dress like those trending grunge girls.

Personality: My personality is very random ngl. On one hand, I’m a patient, hardworking and empathetic person towards the people I really care about. I love taking care of people and nothing makes me more content then seeing them relaxed with me. The other side is once I’m comfortable enough to be loud and open I’m completely different from quiet me. I love risks like once you say no balls I’m doing it. I’m down for mostly anything like shit I don’t judge. Crack up at the most random shit or anything in general, shitpost behavior and humor, no filter at all and does not care what people think about it, and very comfortable with the uncomfortable. I’m not afraid to call someone out if they’re in the wrong and have a great control of my emotions and stress unless someone does something goofy ass fuck. The only bad is that I tend to hide my real feelings a lot and lightly push people away bc I feel like a bother if my negative feelings are noticeable. However, if a person genuinely keeps reassuring it’s okay to let my feelings out I’ll crack eventually.

With a lover: I’m okay with anything my partner will be okay with and understanding their wants and needs. I want them to be my pillar just as I am with them. I include them in mostly everything I do if they are willing to do that and not afraid to show them off if they are comfortable with it. If they aren’t comfortable with physical affection, the most I’ll ask is light hand holding or gentle touches. I hardly initiate fights and do my best to understand their point of view but if they start being disrespectful I’m not tolerating that behavior. My love language is quality time and physical touch, the occasional gifting as well. Ideally want someone to be okay with my menace behavior and have nice looking arms 🫶

Dislikes: I hate when people try to control me and force me to be a certain way bc I’m not letting anybody change the way I am for them. Very spicy food too. 🖤🖤

Hobbies/Interests: E-gurl gaming 😈, cooking meals or baking sweets, reading fanfics, making a shit ton of cute or complex origami. Daydreaming while looking at the sky and smoking that mj as well. Making my friends comfortable with me so we could be crack heads together. Looking at which cute clothes to buy and lastly doing hand made gifts from anything.

Again thank you, I hope this was enough! 😊❤️❤️

I think Danny Johnson | The Ghostface would have a huge thing for you!

Patient and hardworking: both are traits that Danny has, and both are traits he'd enjoy in a partner. The randomness of your personality is something he finds enticing, and Danny loves to find out what makes those he's, uh, interested in, tick.

Risk taking is the name of the game, baby. Though he would not harm you (apart from in trials, of course, where he sort of has to), there's a degree of risk when it comes to being in a relationship with him, both in and out of the Fog. It might not be the type of risk you enjoy, but he appreciates that you aren't judgmental or afraid, and have the guts to be in a situation that many others wouldn't want. Honestly, this is probably what drew him to you in the first place: you stood out in a way that caught his eye.

He's still an obsessive sadist, though. In trials with you, he tends to have a bad habit of focusing and chasing you down. It comes with the relationship. Maybe it's a type of risk you enjoy?

He's damn good at reading people, so even if you do well masking your emotions around him, he can tell when something is off. He may poke a bit to try and get you to open up, but ultimately knows it's up to you to come to him if you so choose to.

It may be surprising, but he is goofy - at least, in a dark sense of humor type of way. He's extremely charismatic and has a pretty good sense of humor - it's how he went so long without getting caught, to a degree - and so this man can and will make you laugh.

Loves that you aren't afraid to speak your mind and call people out for things. If it's directed at him for any reason he might be a bit flustered at first, but honestly, he'll think it's cute seeing you all riled up.

Loves that you show him off, and he'll do exactly the same if you're okay with it. Has more polaroids and photos of you - many of which you didn't seem to notice were being taken - than you know.

More than okay with your menace behavior - I mean, why wouldn't he be? He loves it, and finds you incredibly fun.

Not the best arms, but being a killer does take some physical strength, so his are pretty nice! There are times he may roll his sleeves to his elbow to "unknowingly" give you some glimpses if he catches on that it's something you enjoy (he totally is well aware of what he's doing).

Surprisingly, he's not one to control his partner. Though he likes being the one "in charge", in a sense, that doesn't mean he's going to try to control you and who you are. He wouldn't change you for the world.

[punprincess321]

Hello I never do that xD but I have an idea for a shitpost about Mcree taking care of Hanzo who is under the weather but he plays Tsundere like I only accept your help cause I want get better.. X)

(I don't see overwatch fans often)

I love it!

*Hanzo has recently joined overwatch, but he can tell there's a lot of judgment towards him so he makes the attempt to not be a hassle. One day, Hanzo leaves his room, he's pale, shivering, and looks like a stiff breeze would send him crashing to the floor*

Jesse: *walks past and sees Hanzo leaning on the wall trying to walk* Hey Shimada, what's goin' on with ya?

Hanzo: *violently starts coughing* N-Nothing... I'm fine, don't trouble yourself with me... *he shambles away as quickly as possible*

-

*later, it's team training in the gym and Hanzo is paired up with Fareeha for sparring, everything cheers as Fareeha takes Hanzo down but McCree knows he's too weak*

Fareeha: *has Hanzo in a headlock* C'mon! I thought I was fighting a cold blooded killer!

Hanzo: *tries to get out of her grip but is wheezing badly, Fareeha scoffs and throws him aside, he shakily gets up and walks off, Genji looks at his brother worriedly and glares at his friends for gossiping*

-

*At dinner*

Genji: Fareeha you could have seriously injured Hanzo!

Fareeha: Why are you forgiving him!? Look what he did to you! *the others nod in agreement when suddenly Jesse's fist slams down on the table*

Jesse: I ain't no better than Genji's brother yet y'all treat me like family! And didja all suddenly forget what country the two are from? Japan is doped up on family and honor! They were also mob kids! Of course things'll be fucking up!

Genji: I didn't plan on being that blunt but thank you Jesse. Hanzo was forced to do this to me, we were both raised that way, if you have complaints about it then take it up with my family. *the whole table is silent* I'm going to visit master tomorrow, please treat my brother with respect, I chose to forgive him and I want you all to respect that decision.

-

*the next day, Genji leaves and everyone is hanging out in the lounge*

Hanzo: *walks in looking like he's suffering from the plague*

Lena: Hanzo?... ya look terrible...

Hanzo: *in a raspy tone* I-I'm fine... *collapses*

Jesse: Han! *runs over*

-

*A few hours later, Hanzo wakes up in his bedroom, a cold cloth on his head and a humidifier humming on his dresser*

Jesse: *walks in holding a tray of food* Hey there, you gave everyone a bit of a scare.

Hanzo: *coughs* I know you all dislike me, I doubt I worried anyone...

Jesse: Ya worried me... *puts down the tray and sits next to the bed* Hanzo I know how ya feel, you think you're human garbage and you were treated like it fer so damn long ya don't think anyone cares about you or yer wellbeing... I know whatcha did but I ain't no better, the others think they get t' judge ya because they don't know how you felt about what ya did but they don't, if they had that right I would probably rottin' in a prison cell till I was 80.

Hanzo: *tears up* I didn't want to do it...

Jesse: I know ya didn't partner... *feels Hanzo's forehead* yer fever's still pretty bad, luckily Angela had the decency to give me some medicine t' help ya get better.

Hanzo: It's fine McCree... I can handle myself...

Jesse: Nuh uh, seein' ya up and about in this state is enough of a scare and I don't want Genji bearin' his teeth. I'm yer personal nurse till ya get better.

Hanzo: *blushes* I don't need help, I'm fi- *grabs the trashcan on the side of his bed and vomits*

Jesse: You were sayin'?

Hanzo: *groans* If you help me will this agony end?

Jesse: Pretty sure.

-

*A few days later, Genji returns and finds McCree leaving Hanzo's room*

Genji: Jesse? What were you doing in Hanzo's room?

Jesse: Your brother is sufferin' from a pretty bad flu, I'm helpin' him get better.

Genji: He's sick!? How long has he been sick!?

Jesse: since before ya left, he didn't want to bug anyone so he said nothin', ended up passing out in the lounge, I got him to bed and Angie's been givin' me stuff t' make him better.

Genji: Why isn't he in the infirmary?

Jesse: I got the sense that Hanzo would try t' leave if he was there. He's just reading a book right now, Imma go get some extra blankets. *walks off*

Genji: *walks into Hanzo's room* Anija, I'm back.

Hanzo: *sitting in bed reading, he looks up and smiles before coughing* Hi Genji... How was Nepal?

Genji: It was nice, McCree told me you have the flu, are you alright?

Hanzo: I'm fine, Jesse has been treating me well.

Genji: I'm glad, he's a person I feel I can trust around you, especially in a vulnerable state like this. Anyway you should get some rest.

Hanzo: I will, thank you Genji.

-

*A few days later, Hanzo comes out of his room looking much better but still sniffling and wearing a mask, he walks into the kitchen*

Jesse: *sitting at the counter drinking tea and looking at his phone when he notices Hanzo* Hey Hanzo, feelin' better?

Hanzo: Well I don't feel faint anymore so that's a good sign.

Jesse: I'm glad, I made some chai tea, ya want sum?

Hanzo: that would be lovely, thank you.

Jesse: *pours him a cup and grabs a lozenge before handing him both* ya sound a bit hoarse, maybe suck on this while ya have yer tea.

Hanzo: *smiles and blushes a little* thank you for your concern about my health McCree, I appreciate your help very much.

Jesse: aww, don't mention it, happy to help a friend.

Hanzo: *chuckles and sips his tea, feeling better by the minute*

[shieldfoss]

Epistemology is funny sometimes

So my mother is a GP, and a really good one.

Right?

Except how would I know that? She tells stories from her clinic about some great successes she has had over the years but after (checks notes) 40 years, even the greatest idiot must have had a couple of successes, even if it’s nothing but pure dumb luck.

Right?

She tells me about other doctors whose fuckups she fixes but

like

listen I have some colleagues who make some really dumb mistakes sometimes and think they’re fixing things, and in turn, I have some very experienced senior colleagues whose mistakes sometimes need fixing. Fixing other people’s mistakes doesn’t mean you’re smarter than them - it doesn’t even mean you’re right, or smart at all.

Right?

So how do I know? Am I just blinded by Filial Piety?

But, hey, funny story time: Back this summer (mid-may to early june-ish?) I took a really bad step and sprained my foot weirdly. It wasn't really the ankle? Like, it felt kind of like in between two bones down in the actual foot itself? And there was no swelling? So I went to my GP and he prodded a bit and couldn't really say what was up, and I had an xray of the whole thing taken and there was nothing visible on the xray and I guess just keep it rested for a little while?

And the pain went away after like a week of immobility so I guess that worked.

Different but related funny story: Back this Tuesday evening on a walk I slipped on a patch of slippery sidewalk (ice? in Denmark in December? Not unlikely I guess) and I didn't fall, but by Wednesday mid-day my foot was hurting and by Thursday morning it was bad.

In exactly the same weird way it was this summer, sort of in between two bones - but without swelling? And I could barely walk on that foot. I could "walk," in the sense that I could briefly use my heel and no parts of my actual foot to take my weight. I did all my Cyberpunk shitposting from bed because fuck getting up and to my desk.

And after spending all of Friday in bed, and all of Saturday, and running out of Ibuprofen and dreading walking to the store to get more on a foot that was already terrible, I called her on Sunday morning - at seven in the damn morning like the most ungrateful child - and asked her to please show up with some pain killer and maybe take a look please?

And I had the exact same problems as I had this summer so I feared I'd get the same answer as I got from my GP this summer - "that's weird" and "keep it rested."

Not this doctor, no.

By Sunday midday, barely three hours later, I could walk on the foot correctly. In pain, yes, but correctly.

But. You know. Placebo is a thing, right? "Your mother paid extra attention to you" sure is a thing that could trigger it, especially if you believe she's a very skilled doctor.

My mother is a GP, and a really good one.

...right?

However: She did significantly more detailed and specific prodding than my GP did this summer, found the exact set of movement that would hurt, the exact place it was localized, exercized that specific joint once or twice. "(X joint) is inflamed" "Don't keep it entirely rested, it'll do you good to get a little movement in it." "Ibuprofen is anti-inflammatory, that'll help"

And I said to her, that Sunday morning before things had improved at all, that I was glad she could find a specific thing, my old GP hadn't been nearly so thorough in examining my foot.

And she said "I hear that a lot when I get new patients with old unexplained pains"

My mother is a GP.

She is a really good at it, too.

Epistemology is funny sometimes.

[spnreactionblogging]

INHERIT THE EARTH

SPOILERS BELOW but I guess I’m late to the party huh

oh boy here goes, it's 12/10/2020 as I write this and I've had social media blacklisting SPN tags for the last month so I could get into the headspace to deal with this, I have not heard good things but although I got 15x19 spoiled for me I have somehow avoided 15x20 spoilers so let's see joining me is Two Brothers Pinch of Grace beer and Angel's Envy rum cask rye whiskey a "familiar face" returns? the dog? oh boy it's a buckleming episode I can't wait. how much of this footage was shot after lockdown, is what I want to know. what changed. I am upset that I'm walking into Jack Dying, the episode, on the heels of Cas Dying, the episode the violin is soulful and good at least thank you Jack. thank you for asking where he is. I love this shot of sam against the power lines. he looks so small. dean I really don't want you to be the one pretending you give a shit and trying to "comfort" jack. nice reverse establishing shot of the earth. "hokay. so, here's the earth." oh hey jake abel. I guess I knew that. doesn't mark pellegrino show up too. they're the only PCs left oh sweetheart :( he's trying to pray to him. so buckleming remembered that was an option, huh, just not like. in the ma'lak box jack sitting on that giant retail planter is so damn sad man the fucking uh, the empty news chair with the camera rolling is wild. I love you sam I love rob and every time I see him I'm sad that they made chuck such an asshole calling jack a "lapdog" wow. indeed. okay chuck you're ripping off The Road or whatever, we get it jack has like honest to god pajamas. maybe they were from the dryad or whoever for christmas dean passed out on the floor huh he found a liquor store and he drank it is jack hearing angel radio again doggo "I love you miracle dog" this dog honestly is the best thing oh there he goes :( rickrolled "maybe that's the point. no one left to save. no one but us." sam is better at reading than dean is okay that is a COOL fucking camera angle looking down from above the crucifix this does feel a lot lonelier, like early seasons are we looking at the stations of the cross, is that what the pages were turned to. I couldn't quite see jake abel, I wish I had not missed your baking show with misha that instagram failed to record :( "poor bastard never caught a break" no fucking kidding, RIP adam (finally) michael's been running PR on earth I can't get over how much it looks like jack and adam/michael should be related can michael read the death book? lmao this is how a lot of people seem to feel about books in general, like it's causing them pain to try to read. dramatic music as no one can read it's chuck pranking them again. guaranteed. LMAOOOOO OR LUCIFER so the empty can eject angels back onto earth. fascinating. ah, betty is a reaper. she's gonna come back as death, huh so she can read the book tbh good for her the headbutt was good death starter kit with the decoder ring lmaooooo GOD talking to them like they're petty children is honestly making my day!!! "not a group project" I mean even if she was with them she could just lie about what it says. not okay with leaving jack and lucifer alone "almost-mighty" is really funny the house of cards is good lucifer's right about "fuck god" is betty the empty hahaha you guys got fucked "mikey's a cuck" wow. thanks buckleming. cuckleming? archangel blade??? jack u ok did sam hook michael up with that??? sam is smart. thank fuck. sam'll have it cracked in an hour. sam's got the book of the damned and google translate: enochian (that he cowrote with castiel) sam's a witch wherever they're filming is gorgeous GET HIM, SAM, PUNCH GOD IN THE FACE that was inspired. that was like bobby singer shooting lucifer levels of inspired. buckleming had to get their torture in. last hurrah for the torture train where's jack??? this is what people mean when they say "I like to torture my OCs" you know you didn't have to be an asshole to your grandchild, dude I like when everybody's eyes glow but especially jack's this empty book is trump's COVID plan. just blank sheets of paper stapled together sam is smart. jack's like a mushroom. just soaks up all the good juices in the pan. what if sam and dean make out in the next episode and we find out becky wrote the whole show. maybe you just have to be a regular jackoff, chuck. dean pretty much is the ultimate killer. I mean yeah that is who you are, dean how victorious. you die sick and alone and forgotten with no healthcare. america! this is a bummer. is this victorious? did we win? lmao the sign "ONE MORE!" is that a teal impala over there how do you have extras in this episode, yeesh how much was stock footage, if any "What do we call you?" "Who cares what we call him? All that matters is that we got him back online." fuck off dean at least let jack answer "of course he's coming back" fuck off dean why would he come back with you if he can do anything he wants GO FIND CAS fuck off dean just fuck off dude, you don't get to boss him around how freudian, kill your grandfather who is god very demiurge of you, jack jack's off to be a blind watchmaker I love how he waves, jack is adorable god they're like literally red oni blue oni (red jackass, blue jackass?) over here lmao, these shirts when did cas and jack write their names on the table, they only count now that they're dead? or did I miss something earlier this shot of "what is and what should never be" absolutely breaks my goddamn heart. top fave. fuck. this is a sweet tribute how is this not the end???? I like how kim rhodes and misha collins get special guest star credits for their voicemails/fake phone call literally how is this not the ending to the show. why is there another episode. sans undertale appears to warn me not to watch the next episode. "you're gonna have a bad time." a friend who's not in the fandom asked me "is the tetanus thing for real" and I was like "??????????" and that's the only thing I know going into this. what do they do, drive into toluca lake have a jared and jensen spa day I caught wind of someone saying like "what if sam wakes up to 'heat of the moment' again" which would be BRILLIANT but they're not that clever do they just get stabbed by a regular-ass ghost? do we delete the whole universe and salt and burn the show itself? where do we even go from here. how many sharks are left to jump. someone said "sam gets shot by navient for unpaid student loans" and that is fucking funny and too real sam dies of muscular dystrophy and dean sings "heat of the moment" to congress to allow stem cell research? what. what could you possibly write from here. and why would you. I feel like any shitpost thing I say is still gonna be more clever than what they came up with and I'm not sure I should even watch it. I also hate the idea that buckleming would have the last word but it was surprisingly watchable is this SPN's equivalent of the candy epilogue, but with zero self-awareness? the network swooping in for a final "fuck you" like they did to mark sheppard? what. what even. I don't know if I want to know

[ramblinganthropologist]

Writober 2020 - 20 (Grey)

Summary: An armor test brings up a lot of unanswered questions among the Warden crew... like why the fuck were they called Grey Wardens anyway? Seriously, does anyone know?

(That Dragon Age Actor AU, Dragon Age Origins)

---

“Does this armor make me look more intimidating?”

“You're playing an 18 year old hunter's apprentice. Nothing could do that.”

Nothing like new costumes to bring out the excitement for filming the next season. After weeks of waiting, it was finally time for the four actors known as the Warden crew to try on the armor they would be wearing during the season finale. Today was just a preview – final adjustments would be made after.

Merin pouted a little as he adjusted one of his leggings. “Eli, don't be a dick.”

“That's my job, for I am the bearer of dicks.” Eli crossed his muscled arms over his chest. Since it was just an outfit try on, he had both eyes functioning. Once they had to do it for real, the makeup and contacts would be in to simulate his character's ocular issues. “Though, maybe with the tattoos it would work. You're going to lose some points once they cover Elgar'nan up.”

That only made the elf groan harder as he sat back down. At the moment, his tattoos were on full display, covering half the side of his face in dark blue. They would be covered up the moment he became Cahel again, however. Unlucky for him, the famed apprentice didn't match vallaslin with him. He wasn't Shianni.

“Damn it all, we need to speed it up to Awakening or something.” Merin sighed as he ran a hand through his hair – his undercut was starting to grow in since he was wearing a wig so much. “Remi, you almost done in there or what? We wanna see!”

His question was directed to the curtain they were standing in front of. Their costar had disappeared behind there a few moments prior, citing issues with his breastplate. Judging from how much he was grumbling, he was still having that issue.

No surprises there – idols weren't typically known for being able to get armor on.

“Just...” he started muttering to himself in Orlesian. “There! I got the strap right!”

The curtain parted as he stepped out. Like Eli, Remi had a copy of Warden warrior armor on. It was only fitting, given he was supposed to be playing the future king of Ferelden in his Warden days. The effect was somewhat spoiled due to the fact he was using his actual accent, but he could handle that when it was time to film.

He was pretty good at hiding it. So was the guy who played Loghain...

“Not bad, you make the heavy armor work.” Merin frowned as he stared at the griffin on his costar's breastplate. “Though... serious question. Why the fuck are they the Grey Wardens when they wore silver and blue?”

The question caused both Remi and Eli to look down at their armor and pause. A glance passed among the three men in the room, none of them able give a proper answer. It was one of those things people just... accepted.

But yeah, they didn't really wear grey. What was up with that?

“It's because your skin turns grey before you off yourself in the Deep Roads.”

Their final costar entered on that killer line. Shianni, like Merin, was dressed in rogue armor. Unlike him, she made it look damn good. He cursed that a little as she took Eli's chair, perching on it like some rare bird of prey. Her reaction time was just as good too – he had seen it first hand when they had been in Orzammar.

People were still making gif sets of their group fight. It was kinda endearing.

Merin shook his head at this answer, though. “Nah. That's way too on the nose for these guys. You know they hid the taint thing until it was killing them.”

“Hiding the answer in plain sight is pretty Grey Warden if you ask me.” Shianni sounded almost bored. “Why, what's your bright idea?”

To this, the elf shrugged. “I figured it was a linguistic thing. You know how words change over time. Maybe silver meant grey then or something.”

Truthfully, even he could see that answer fell flat. However, Eli and Remi were quick to remind him of that as they both shook their heads. So, that was another idea shot down by the peanut gallery. Two were still in play, however.

Though... he could tell it was about to get stupid in here.

Remi tapped a gloved finger to his cheek as he thought about it. “Aren't griffin feathers kind of greyish? Maybe it was supposed to represent them.”

“Griffins come in a shit ton of colors, it's only the babies that are all grey and fuzzy.” Merin, ever the ranger, shot that one down pretty quickly. “It's the down.”

Eli rolled his eyes at this. “Only you would know that, Lavellan.”

“Hey, excuse me for doing some research, Rodriguez.”

There was no barb to their words, of course. By now, Eli and Merin were something like friends. It was a natural consequence of having to spend so much time with each other, though it helped the older elf had finally let the stick up his ass go. So he was a necromancer – big deal. It was the digital age, after all. Nobody really minded.

Nobody except them when it was time to tease him on it, mind you. After all, they were only sentient.

Remi knew when he was beat at least. He nodded at the information. “Right... I doubt they'd name them after baby griffins. It's not exactly intimidating.”

“They probably picked the name because they all had hard ons for grey morality.” Eli rolled his eyes. “I mean, that whole take who they want no matter what, get the job done even as your rotting in place, no lands or master thing just screams it.”

Shianni snorted at this response. “It be less impressive if you weren't saying that dressed as the berserker.”

Yeah... the whole conversation was just punctuated by the fact they were all standing around in prop armor discussing the history of a name. This was the kind of thing shitposters on the internet did when they were bored. So... maybe they had more in common with their fans than they thought.

Eli's cheeks turned hot at this as he turned away, pulling off a pretty decent impression of his character as he did so. “Who says Miris wasn't a man of philosophy?”

“Uh, he did. A lot. It's in the journals, check page 30, 56, 120...” Merin started counting off his fingers, smirking a little. “I can keep going.”

“Nobody likes a smart ass, Lavellan.” He paused. “Yeah, except Remi I know. You don't need to remind me.”

That just got him a tongue stuck out from the would-be ranger and his boyfriend. He returned it in kind, which meant civil conversation was definitely lost for the moment. Thankfully, before the battle of the tongues could continue, someone stuck their head in.

“Why do the Wardens have their tongues out?” Kaaras was practicing his Sten inflection, probably because he was in costume as well. The rest of him soon entered the room, coming to rest next to his on-screen girlfriend. Off screen, she was gay and he was a father of two. They played it well, though – they had won a few chemistry awards.

Merin pulled his tongue back in before Eli got the chance, though that was mostly because he needed to use it. “Because Eli is being an edge lord.”

“Hey, you're the one who asked the question in the first place.” Eli turned to the new occupant. “How about it, Kaaras. Why do you think the Grey Wardens are called that?”

All eyes turned to the qunari as he stopped to think about it. He tapped his chin a few times, deep in thought as he mused on the subject. Given he was dressed for war, it was a pretty hilarious sight. However, they wanted the answer more than they needed the laugh. So they waited, pins and needles jabbing into them.

He finally shrugged. “Because the Wardens have a thing for qunari I suppose.”

His response was met with a mixture of groans and snickers. That seemed to be what he had wanted in the first place, because he flashed them a very out-of-character thumbs up that shouldn't have been possible with his gloves. Someone in costuming was really earning their paycheck, no doubt about that.

“Should've seen that one coming a mile away.” Shianni shook her head. “Who knows, maybe it was the first Warden's favorite color. For all we know, they had a lover with grey eyes and the name stuck.”

Merin nodded at this, beaming suddenly. “Sounds gay, I'm down.”

That got Eli chuckling, though it was somewhat exasperated. “You're always down when it comes to gay subtext.”

“Hey,  I was in fandom for how long? Gay subtext is my bread and butter.”

Nobody could argue with that fact. Still, it was clear by that point that it could have been any of their suggestions, or a thousand other ones they didn't have the time to think of. The true answer was probably lost to time, as was many things about the Dragon Age and what came before that.

So... maybe they were all right. Or wrong. Who knew?

Kaaras shook his head as he glanced around the room at the assembled fake Wardens. “Anyway, they wanted you guys out to see how the armor fit. Hurry up and get going or you're going to keep Herah here for ages on makeup once that's done.”

Right... they were supposed to be working. Sometimes it was easy to forget that. The Warden crew nodded as they left, ready to handle whatever came next. With any luck, they wouldn't be seeing the head of makeup that day. It was kind of late for that.

Still...  why were they called Grey Wardens anyway? That was going to bother them for a while. Damn it all...

[lucarioisinthevoid]

AAAAAAAAAA HI LUCARIO- gjufsklkfdvkj ok ok lemme calm down. I'm KittenLatte/CalmCalculators from Wattpad! I just found out you have a tumblr. :,)

Why H E L L O THERE!O L D E S P O R D E !IT’S NICE TO SEE YOU CALMCALULATORS!Welcome to my SHAME. To my BIGGEST mistake. To this NIGHTMARE of a blog where I fuck up ALL the characters.I gotta say, I do regret having made a tumblr, now I gotta worry about things like not mixing up any things that happen here vs what happens in my stories, risk dealing with people who think writing about Serial Killers means you like real life murderers and fight off the temptation to give this place a needless and way too convoluted plot.The joys of making a tumblr blog!You found me! Despite me hiding it on chapter 34 or something, WELL into the damn mess of a story-And well, my description, but who would ever read that? I’M HAPPY TO SEE YOU! HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A GOOD TIME ON THIS FANTASTIC HELLSITE! ENJOY ME RIPPING YOUR BELOVED CHARACTERS TO SHREDS PERSONALITY-WISE UNTIL THEY’RE ONLY ARE EMPTY HUSK FOR MY MINDLESS CONSUMPTION!I A M G O D !Enjoy your stay on the blog, have fun messing with the characters and destroying timelines! Glad you found me, hope to see you around if this strikes your fancy! ;3Honestly, you seem way too excited to have found me, and it flusteres me, but I also very much worry you get a bit disappointed with the low-quality shitposting going. BUT HECK, I’M REALLY HAPPY ANYWAYS, IT’S SO NICE TO GET TO RECOGNIZE PEOPLE! Makes me feel like my story really does make people want to check out all this silly extra material. Okay, but enough of that, you go have a good time! Enjoy your day!

[strigital]

Ventum Tenebris Dramatis Personae

in shitpost format, so i don't lose track of who's who

CHEYDINHALL AND BRUMA SANCTUARIES

Assassin Kassandra Saryn aka Kass

tragic MC disease

literal feral child

flower picking after murder as a form of self-care

Speaker Lucien Lachance

manipulate

mansplain

manwhore

Madam Joselle Monnique

gaslight

gatekeep

girlboss

Silencer Saren Lethallas

not gay, but acts like one

Pretty Boy™

an aprax due to: none of your damn business

Silencer Gwendolyn aka Gwen

big

buff

mommy

Baron Vicente Valtieri

icon of homoerotisism

always ready for a heart-to-heart with tea and cake

will rip your fucken throat out if need be

Matron Ocheeva

strong dom vibes

hates The Lusty Argonian Maid

will ground you

Shadowscale Teinaava

definitely a sub

loves The Lusty Argonian Maid

would kill for a library membership

Infiltrator Marie Antoinette

very gay, doesn't act like one

has a different persona for every occasion

cutie-patootie

Tracker Telaendril Camoran

Green Pact abider

killer cook

lady in the streets, animal in the sheets

Death Knight Gogron gro-Bolmog

absolutely in love with Tel

wants lots of kids

looks like he can kill (and he can), is actually a cinnamon roll

Quartermaster M'Radj-dar

momma's boy

evil bastard

secretly kindest baby boy you ever met

Ex-Companion Havilstein Hroar-Blood

dog person

sexyman

immune to drunkedness

Ex-Companion Fafnir Hroar-Blood

wishes he was half as sexy as his brother

glorified doorman

probably an incel

CHORROL AND KVATCH SANCTUARIES

Speaker Banus Alor

very gay, acts like it too

soft heart, kind eyes

can't stand violence

Silencer Mathieu Bellamont

manchild

def a necrophile

easily manipulated

Assassins Maria and Blanchard

twinsies

a total of one brain cell is being shared 24/7

born together, die together

SKINGRAD AND ANVIL SANCTUARIES

Speaker Arquen of Alinor

fashion diva

big dick energy

wants to fuck Lucien so bad it makes her look stupid

Assassin Salmo

sweetroll king

none of his stock is poisoned, promise!

unironically good baker

Mortician René Korbin

broke ass rich boy

med student

just happy to be there

BRAVIL AND LEYAWIIN SANCTUARIES

Speaker Belisarius Arius

male Karen

too old for this shit

"y'all MFs need Sithis!"

Keeper Alval Uvani

clinically depressed

needs vacation ASAP

BEES

Silencer J'Ghasta

boxing star

buffest kitty cat you ever saw

always sus, always turns out right, always ignored

Seer Shaleez

communicates with the dead

sees future

probably severely mentally ill

BLACKTOWN

Samson aka Shady Sam

if it exists and it's illegal he'll sell it

awake 24/7 yet not a vampire???

knows everything that happens in IC

The Dark Stranger

omnipotent

omnipresent

probably the devil himself

The Inquisitor

like the Gray Fox but for murderers

no idea who tf he is

big daddy of TDB

The Viscount of Blacktown

very sus

probably very corrupt also

who tf voted for this clown?

Baron Emille Du'Cast

either was, is or will be Vicente's bf

just a happy little antiquarian

will sell you any kind of info you may want

IMPERIAL RESERVE

Huntsman Honditar

occasionally does awoo in the night

just a kind old man

misses his baby Kass every single day

Witch Melisande

emigrant from Glenmoril

keeps grumbling about how y'all are a bunch of ungrateful kids

actually just loves everybody

THE MILVAN ESTATE

Lazare Milvan

useless whinny brat

will harass everything that moves

fucken deserved what he got

Gotye Milvan

bezos of cyrodiil

disappointed in his son 24/7

doesn't have a heart

Odette Milvan

doesn't understand her boy is 25 not 5

no fucks given about anything at all

pretty but dumb AF

bonus:

[zephyr-parke-blog]

Anyway here’s Wonderwall Milo.

BACKGROUND

Milo has never lived anywhere outside of their small town. His mother, Gloria, was the local Kindergarten teacher and his father Matthew ran a small law firm. Six years after he was born they had another child, a little girl named Cadence, and then another boy two years after who they named Adam.

His mother died suddenly of a massive brain aneurysm when Milo was eleven. His father was absolutely destroyed, and quickly went off the rails. He developed an alcohol problem and then lost his job and their house over the course of three months.

Milo and his siblings’ childhood was not what anyone would call structured or sticking to any kind of routine. His father’s employment was spotty from that point onwards, and they were constantly getting evicted, staying with friends for a week or so, finding another shithole to rest their heads, getting behind on rent- rinse, repeat every two or three years.

Milo realized that if things continued as they were, both him and his siblings were going to get taken by social services. So he started doing everything in his power to help take care of his siblings, only five and three years old at the time, and keep whatever crappy apartment they were living in at the time in some semblance of order. All the while he was counting down the days until he was sixteen and he could get a steady paying job, so he didn’t have to rely on his father for grocery money that the man frequently spent on alcohol. 

GhostSquad was something that he never expected to take off the way it did- it was supposed to be a fun distraction from his stressful life, a time for him to leave everything behind for a few hours and be social. The ghost hunting was just an added bonus as far as he was concerned. 

When the opportunity presented itself for him to go on that first road trip he had misgivings and almost declined, but his siblings all but kicked him out the door. They were nineteen and seventeen respectively, both had after school jobs, and were more than able to pick up his slack. They’d seen how excited and happy he got when talking about the channel and his friends and refused to let him turn it down for their sake. He still sent them any spare money he had while they were on the road. 

After the last hunt, he and Cassandra continued to try to make videos, but they weren’t able to capture the audience the same way they had when they’d involved everyone. Eventually they decided to stop, but they stayed friends, and always talked about ‘getting the gang back together’ for one last hurrah.

With nothing else to do when GhostSquad split up, Milo moved back home, got a job as a CNA at a the town hospital. His siblings had both gone off to school- his sister to a technical school in town, his brother a state college with a killer scholarship- and he’d be damned if he stuck around and took care of his alcoholic father for the rest of his life. So he decided to go to nursing school with all of his spare time. It wasn’t necessarily what he’d pictured doing with his life, but he liked the work, and it paid decently.

Cassandra died two months after his graduation. thisisfine.gif

PERSONALITY

Milo has always been the Parent Friend (™). He’s just incapable of minding his own damn business, and taking care of people is so second nature to him at this point it’s almost not even a thing he thinks about anymore. A stranger could idly remark they were hungry and he’d be pulling a granola bar out of his backpack for them before he even consciously thought it through.

THIS BOY IS A G O O F.  He plays video games, collects guitars, sings stupid made up songs to himself all the time but especially when he’s scared, and he definitely shakes his butt to said made up songs. Just so ridiculous, honestly.  (He’s also not afraid to make himself the butt of the joke to make someone else feel better.)

 Awkward humor af, constant finger guns, puns galore. He’s just shamelessly weird and goofy, and fond of shitpost humor. Like- picture the weird goofy dad from road trip movies who wears a bucket hat, polo, and shorts, plans singalongs, stops at the World’s Largest Ball of Twine, and calls people ‘sport’. He’s maybe a little cooler than that guy, but only a little. 

(I’ve been joking to Bee (Stella) that he’s going to be driving the bus down the road and someone’ll start fighting with someone else and he’s going to start hitting the steering wheel and yell “I swear to god, I will turn this bus around! I will! I’ll do it! Ghosts are going to be canceled for everyone! I’M GOING TO END THE ENTIRE DAMN AFTERLIFE BECAUSE YOU ALL DON’T KNOW HOW TO ACT!” I imagine it goes about as well as you’d expect it would.)

He tries to keep in mind people’s feelings, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to say what’s on his mind- he’s just going to say it as tactfully as possible.

But that being said, he gets SO!!!! INTENSE!!!! when he has a job to do. He’s a workaholic, perfectionist, and a serious insomniac, so I just picture him constantly staying up super late every night planning things out and looking over footage and things and then being somewhat delirious the next day because he’s sleep deprived. This also means he falls asleep in really weird places at really weird times. They’ve definitely lost him during a hunt and found him passed out snoring in a super haunted room or something.

He’s a fixer. Come to him with a problem and he’s going to do what he can to help you fix that situation, for better or for worse, and good luck getting him to mind his own business after you’ve let him in.

Milo has pretty much decided it’s his GOD GIVEN MISSION to make sure this last road trip goes as smoothly as possible, so I imagine he’s spending basically every waking second trying to do everything he used to do, plus some of the things Cassandra used to handle. Plus he’s trying to smooth things over with everyone. And he’s still a fucking wreck over her death and trying really hard to hide it. And there’s the whole Stella situation. CAN’T WAIT.

[mystery-moose]

5, 15, 21

5. most popular fic this year

That’s Flying V with a bullet, largely based on its length and update schedule, I’m sure. Second place would be Chicken Kiev for the Soul (whose title I am still proud of) but part of that is because it’s been around the second-longest.

15. something you learned this year

I learned that I care very, very deeply about found-family and in particular reluctant-but-sincere-parentage than I ever thought I did. (I already knew I liked asshole-with-a-heart-of-gold.) And I learned that I can get invested in a slash pairing, which was honestly a bit of a surprise to me; I figured that just wasn’t my thing. Turns out I just needed the right characters.

I also learned that first drafts don’t matter, WIPs are absolutely better if you finish them before posting, and having a good beta is super duper important. (Okay I already knew that too. <3)

21. most memorable comment/review

Anyone I single out is gonna leave out all the other HEROES who left killer comments, so I almost don’t want to answer this? But I mean… well, I gotta be honest, @negloves leaving in-depth comments on damn near every chapter of Flying V was some of the most rewarded I’ve felt posting anything, and @gatesofivoryandhorn left multiple thoughtful comments and we actually engaged in a conversation about craft and characterization which is HUGE. (I also traded comments with @anonymousalchemist a bunch and it turns out they’re a tremendously talented shitposter as well as a thoughtful, articulate writer, and that honestly should have surprised me more than it did.)

But they weren’t the only ones leaving great comments! Just the only ones who have a tumblr (that I know about). All the others who did that are CHAMPIONS ALSO. I can’t and won’t link to everyone’s profile here, that would be weird (and a lot of them were guests/anonymous) but CHRIST ALMIGHTY every comment I got that was multiple paragraphs made my soul alight with heavenly fire.

There was one that said, “you put so much time and thought and love into this and it seriously, seriously shows. I’m going to keep this fic and treasure it and reread it to cheer me up on bad days.” And that’s exactly how I felt about all the comments I got. I go back and read the longer ones when I’m feeling down, and it always, always, ALWAYS makes me happy. And a little weepy.

Seriously, the TAZ fandom has killed it in terms of reviews and comments and engagement. I can’t overstate how amazing it felt to get numerous great comments on damn near everything I wrote, even when it wasn’t as popular. Thank you to absolutely everyone. You are ALL diamonds.

[originalsinnamonroll]

3, 6, 10, 12!

3. Which starter sword did you pick? What is he doing now? I chose Mutsu because he’s great.  He’s currently somewhere in the high seventies level-wise; unfortunately, he’s been outshined in strength by a crew of tachi, an extremely popular jackass, a holy sword, and a ghost-killer, but he sometimes goes out on expeditions and front lines stuff anyway.  I imagine he’s trying to bring the Internet to the Citadel.  (Terrible life choice.)

6. Without considering the performance of the swords, which type of sword do you prefer?  Hmmmm... ignoring the gameplay aspects of the swords it’s a tie between the wakizashi, uchigatana, and tachi.  There are just too many great swords!  (With gameplay I’d choose wakis and ootachi.)

10. Have you ever done anything weird to your swords?  Well, I have a habit of feeding Ichigo Hitofuri duplicates of his brothers... and there’s the time I fed Nikkari a duplicate Ishikirimaru... I’m considering, just for grins, making a team that’s all of the Shinsengumi swords plus Mutsu.  The amount of pure rage would probably scare off even the Kebiishi.  A themed team of swords that hate fighting (e.g. Ishikirimaru, Juzumaru, Kousetsu) would be fun and viable, if sadistic; besides, I don’t even have Juzu or Kousetsu.  (This is not counting the shitposts, as those are outside of the game, but making Souza into a magical girl was pretty damn weird.)

12: Who loses troops the most in your Citadel? And who is the most skilled at making troops?  I haven’t really been keeping track of the latter (although I’m guessing Shokudaikiri is among the best at making troops, given that what I can remember of his track record is solid) but the former is a weird question only because of how frequently I use a wakizashi in places I probably shouldn’t.  (Nikkari’s already gone for Kiwame, but he does still lose troops sometimes on 7-2 and 7-3.)  Proportionally speaking, Horikawa’s been pretty bad at keeping troops; it’s a shame, as I like his impact stat, but he’s hard to use when he can’t keep troops.  In terms of pure numbers of troops lost, however, that award probably goes to Nikkari because he has one of the highest scouting stats in the game and he’s generally great, so he’s nearly always in my party.  Tsurumaru may be second only because he gets more troops to lose and I’m trying to beat 7-3 so I can try and get Kikkou (curse that low drop rate, because I want him on my first run).  The other era 7 maps (grinding for the other Sadamune brothers because stats and the appeal of having a lucky sword) haven’t been much kinder.

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen’s Seinen Adventure

Well... it’s finally happening, I’m finally talking about Seinen manga like I said I would last month. This is my first time talking about manga specifically and tagging it, so... hello manga readers and fandom people reading this, as well as my usual followers that like these sorts of essay-type posts I do when I’m not shitposting about Blazblue. For those that don’t know, I’m Allen X, I post little essays about niche fandom stuff I’m into on tumblr called Ramblings, and every so often try to write stories and fanfics when the mood hits me. A month back I made a post saying I was going to talk about Seinen manga since I’ve reached that lovely age of 23 where theses types of manga would interest me given my age group. I’ve been buying more and more manga in this genre as of late and I wanted to give my thoughts on the ones that have grabbed my interest and why I like them.

In my last Rambling on this topic I said I was going to try and make separate essays for each Seinen manga I wanted to talk about, but... I can’t. I just can’t. I realized it when I talked about Symphogear, I really don’t feel comfortable breaking down manga and anime the way I do with video games. I don’t know, video games are more inclusive and universal than anime and manga. When I talk about video games, gameplay, enjoyment factor, and so on, I feel like I’m talking on a level that everyone would get, at least every gamer. With manga and anime... it’s kind of niche genre, especially the stuff I’m into, so to try and talk about them in the same manner of general appeal and interest just doesn’t feel right to me. Plus, God forbid I miss something super vital about an anime or manga from my western perspective and get roasted for not understanding something in context and harping on it... God, that’s a fear I have every time I tag a Rambling. 

In any case, I figured I’d do this in the style I do my Anime Updates. I’ll give a brief summary of each manga, say what I like about them, what I don’t, and if I think others should into it. So, let’s get started.

Oh actually, before I get started, just gonna’ warn everyone now that since I’m talking about Seinen manga, sexual content is bound for all that I talk about. I won’t be showing pics or anything, but just know these are +18 rated manga. Anyway, back on topic... 

So, first up is Murcielago. If I had to give this show a western comparison I’d say the show Archer would be a good one. Now, I’ve only seen bits of season 1 of Archer, but I think the idea is the same. Murcielago is about a State Appointed Executioner named Kuroko Koumori, a former serial killer turned government agent, and the adventures she goes on with her loli sidekick and driver Hinako as she kills, slaughters, and executes criminals just as, if not more, dangerous than she is, as well as attempt to bang every female without a two-mile radius. Actually, now that I think about I think Killer is Dead is better comparison for this manga. Now if only Kuroko gets voiced by Patrick Seitz if an anime comes out... 

I don’t know, there’s just something engaging about watching this sex-addicted, murderous lesbian go about her day. This is sort of a popcorn read, something wacky and ridiculous that just makes you laugh. The gore is over the top, the situations Kuroko gets into are just so nonsensical that you can’t help but laugh at them, and the way she gets out of jams and gives out cheesy one-liners just makes me think this manga is just a hyper-violent, hyper-sexual action movie with an sociopath protagonist. And I'm always cracking up a little when I see Hinako react to all the hyper-violence going on around her. The fact that Hinako is so innocent and carefree despite who she works with is actually pretty endearing. I like how she’s, for the most part, an innocent little loli just having to put up with all of Kuroko’s shit. I hope it remains a running gag that Hinako is at most just inconvenienced by all the violent, sexual nonsense around her and is never truly effected by it.

Like I said, this manga’s a popcorn read, and if you need some crazy, B-tier action movie nonsense in your manga collection, I recommend buying this when you can. The second volume is out and it concludes the Murder House arc. I’m looking forward to volume 3 and seeing where it goes from there.

And since I’m sticking this in the Murcielago tag, yes Murcielago Lamborghini fans, Kuroko does, in fact, drive Murcielago Lamborghini. Well, Hinako drives it specifically, crashes it every other chapter, and Kuroko buys her a new one in the following chapter... I hope that remains a running gag too.

Next up is Ubel Blatt, AKA, Not-Berserk. 

Now, before everyone tells me to stop reading this and start reading Berserk just hear me out. The main thing keeping me from reading Berserk is the fact that it’s currently on volume 38 here in the West, and I’m not sinking money into an on-going manga that’s ran that long. My personal rule for long-running manga is that if it exceeds past 18 volumes I either stop at 18 or whatever arc I feel is a good stopping point and wait until that manga finishes, or I have a damn good reason to pick it up again and sink all that money back into something that could get put on hiatus at a moment’s notice depending on that artist’s health and condition. Berserk... is just too risky an investment for me to get into, and Ubel Blatt’s plot is telling me that this manga’s gonna have a clear ending at some point, likely around the volume 15 mark, so I’m choosing this one for my edgy, medieval, violent story... thing. I was scrolling around the tags a bit for Ubel Blatt to get a consensus on this manga and saw a few people essentially calling this a poor man’s Berserk. Well folks, since I’m poor as hell I’ll glad sink money into what is currently at volume 10 and not play catch up with Berserk until it finishes.

Now, onto the manga itself,  I find Ubel Blatt interesting in that this series has a very clear goal and that main character is making clear strides in accomplishing that goal. The main character, Koinzell, simply wants to avenge himself and his fallen comrades after being betrayed by his former allies. It’s... basically an even edgier Tales of Beresia except with a half-fairy-elf man instead of Velvet Crow. The world is already saved, but the ones that were sacrificed for that end are less than happy about it and want revenge at the cost of screwing the stability of the world over again. I’m on volume 3 at this point and I’m pretty hooked. It really does remind me of Tales of Beresia with out they show the heroes being flawed and even devious, but the public love them regardless... well, those that aren’t being enslaved by their rule anyway. 

I especially like female lead, Aht. I’ve always like the warrior-princess archtype, and Aht is definitely winning me over with her loyalty toward Koinzell, even willing to change her body and appearance to help him in combat. My only regard about her is that we don’t get to see her in that badass black dragon rider armor she was wearing in the first few volumes when she was going to try and kill Koinzell for killing her brother. That armor just hit all my aesthetics for warrior princesses... but alas, I still like her though. 

I believe this manga is up to volume 10 here in the States. Now I say 10, but it’s numbered 9... for some inane reason there’s volume 0 that is not a prologue volume, so please read, as it is mandatory to understand the plot... it’s the one thing I’m gonna’ knock about this manga, but it’s a good read so far. Looking forward to getting the rest on payday.

Alright, time to talk about a manga I’ve been reading exclusively online for awhile now. As of this point I know the light novel of Goblin Slayer is out in the West, but I’m... hesitant to get it since I was hoping the manga would come first, and I honestly prefer manga to light novels anyway, the only exception I made was Magical Girl Raising Project. According to Amazon a physical copy will be for sell around December and there is a digital version out, so I think I’ll get the digital copy as a way to support the series.

 Anyway, Goblin Slayer is basically about... the adventures of a goblin slayer. Yeah, I know it sounds generic, but it’s good, I swear. In Generic RPG Video Game World #492, this fine fellow kills goblins and only goblins after they killed his family. He is basically medieval Batman if Batman killed. He knows everything about goblins and how to kill them, and with his party of a healer, an archer, a shaman, and a dwarf, he’ll make sure all of them pay for taking away the ones he loved. 

This manga is a bit of a deconstruction of typical RPG tropes. If you guys are familiar with anime Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash, then I’d say this is very similar to that, but with more mature themes in it. I found the world of Generic RPG Video Game World #492 rather interesting in how the goblins themselves are enough of a threat that they can kill newbie adventurers who are unprepared (and often are given goblins are seen as weak in this universe), but not enough of a threat for the higher leveled adventurers to bother fight them without high prices. It creates a cycle a of death and tragedy, real depressing stuff as the characters lament on their situation. The Goblin Slayer’s party members slowly start to understand why he hunts goblins and only goblins despite his rank, and the healer is such an endearing character. I like her interactions with the Goblin Slayer. Her innocence really compliments his gruff, silent nature, and she’s one of the few that can get more than a sentence out the guy save for his other love interest the Female Farmhand. 

...

...

...

I know it sounds like I’m giving them generic names and whatnot, but manga really doesn’t give these characters names, like, at all. The Goblin Slayer is just called the Goblin Slayer by everyone in-universe, the healer is called Priestess I believe, and so on. It’s... really weird, but it works. I like where the story’s going so far, and it tempts me to get the light novel to see where things go from there. I’ll skim a few pages next time I head to the bookstore and see if the writing interests me.

In name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Lord grant me strength as I speak about this manga. 

So... Tsugumomo... where do I even begin with this one? I dread talking about this manga. It’s a guilty pleasure of mine, emphasis on guilty. I... don’t know if I can do this, but I’ll try.

Before I start, I’ll say this much, I like the premise. It’s basically a more Japanese version of Soul Eater. Special beings called, well, Tsugumomo, are objects that gain sentience after generations upon generations of use. Once sentient, they can take a human form and weaponize their original form so that exorcist can use them as tools and weapons to battle against evil spirits and demons. So yeah, basically a mix of Soul Eater and Twin Star Exorcist, other manga I happen to enjoy reading. And being the giant weeb I am, anything with a Japanese aesthetic to it is gonna’ get my interest. It’s how I got into Nioh, it’s how I got into Samurai Warriors and the Warriors series, so it appealed to me on a surface level. So when the anime came out, I watched the first episode and... immediately dropped the show there. The first minute had me clicking away to something else since it opened on a boob gag with middle school aged characters. However, episode 3 had a really good fight scene in it, I saw some gifs of it, and being a sap for a good fight scene, I gave it another shot. Episode 2 wasn’t that bad, episode 3 wasn’t either, but... I believe it was episode 5 that had me drop the anime again. I’m not against middle school aged characters discussing sexual topics, but... well, I can’t stand the first omnibus volume of Negima! for a reason. However, much like Negima! I decided to see if the manga was just as bad. After all, if The Sacred Blacksmith had talk me anything, it was that anime spin offs tend to play up the fanservice for the sake of making a quick buck. So i went to the manga to see if that was the case.

It was the exact opposite. The anime turned down the fanservice by quite a degree.

However... despite that, I’m still interested in the story. I’m going to spoil a bit from her, so be warned.

Much like with Negima! I skipped quite a few chapters, starting at around chapter 72, when they went into Kanaka, the main character’s mother, and Kiriha’s, Kazuya’s former Tsugumomo, past and relationship. I didn’t want to bother reading chapters of fanservice to get to what was interesting, so I skips around until I found something worth reading, and boy was this part worth reading. I found Kanaka to be real interesting character. It an interesting take on the whole “Too Strong to be Approached” angle. Or I really liked how she was emotionless until she was able to find a good opponent to fight and then essential became a more cheerful version of Blazblue’s Azrael, her strength being seen as something to be feared to the point of the Exorcist organization literally feeding her demons and evil spirits from their SSS-rank list just to make sure she wouldn’t try to take them out due to boredom. I liked how she trained her kids solely so they could give her a good fight when they mature. Her personality and how she grew in those chapters really hooked me to her character. 

To read those chapters, get attached to those characters, only to realize both Kanaka and Kiriha were dead and that Kanaka’s son had to kill his own mother because of a mistake he made when he was younger... I was shocked by how invested I was already. 

Also, there’s a tournament arc going on as of chapter 100, and learning about the exorcist academy and how they have different political beliefs in how Tsugumomo should be treated interests me as well, so there’s that.

With Tsugumomo I feel like it’s a Shounen manga trying to be a Seinen one by adding a bunch of nudity and sex scenes. Trust me, there are enough bare breast and sex scenes to be a hentai in this. And this very much much hits a nerve when it comes to my limits on fanservice. Dear god, the lewdness of this manga. I swear every chapter someone’s getting naked for some asinine reason or another. The sheer amount of underage nudity and sexual content is just enough to make me [RETRACTED]. Seriously, this the manga equivalent of Shadow the Hedgehog and the Dante’s Inferno video game. The mature themes in this manga detract more than add to the story...  Also, Kazuya’s character design makes me want to stab my eyes out, but that’s a story for another day.

Again, I didn’t read anything else before that, so if anything I think Kazuya’s abilities are a little OP since what was keeping him from his full potential was goddamn amnesia of all things, but... I’ll let it slide since I don’t have the full context. Much like Wanna’ be the Strongest in the World and Ikkitousen, I wouldn’t recommend this manga to anyone, I can’t do it with a clear conscience, but this is certainly a guilty pleasure of mine... and boy do I feel guilty for liking it.

And lastly, to get the taste of Tsugumomo out my mouth, we have a good manga, The Scared Blacksmith. I’m gonna’ be brief with this one because talking about Tsugumomo drained me a tad, but... 

I. Love. This. Manga. 

I just finished it last week and I’m so glad I bought. I’m actually shocked this is a Seinen. Save for a bit of fanservice in a first few volumes and... the stuff that happened in volume 6, this manga’s actually clean for the most part. It’s mostly about the Knight Cecily Campbell and her life in the Independent Trade City... no, that’ really the city’s name. Okay, quick tangent, but what’s with these fantasy Seinen manga and their borderline parody location names? I know the names just serve a means to an end in the grand scheme of things, but... really? 

Anyway, Cecily Campbell is a female knight joined the knight guard since she’s the only daughter of a noble family of knights, and... the story takes off from there. Again, Tsugumomo drained me a tad, but trust me when I say this manga is good. It’s got action, romance, a decent female character. I said this before in some of my other Ramblings, but Cecily is one of my favorite female characters ever. The anime didn’t do her justice... but anyway, this is a good manga overall. It fully out in the West so I recommend you all buy it when you can.

And so... on a lackluster note, I ended my rambling about Seinen manga. I’ll do The Sacred Blacksmith justice a later day. I’m beat now, so I’m gonna’ just... read some manga, maybe draw a bit... feel free to message me if you guys have question... I’m just... gonna’ be here. Phew, I’m tired now...

[bluekitsune]

Sorta late NDRV3 Ch1 Impressions

The “we’re just all normal dudes with different designs and ordinary personalities OH JOKE WE’RE KIDDING LOSERS” made me laugh

Is this ressurected high school talents thing going to be literal? If so, they were..... dead? Then they’re revived to kill each othjer?? Was the kidnapping scene a kidnapping or the people that killed them.......... Im getting way to ahead of myself

The school ambience is REALLY REALLY cool, I think scenery wise this is their best job so far

The start felt really convoluted and unecessarily dragged on? Like ok but fuck me, took me a long time to get over the blabbs

I don’t really give a damn about some characters, but Tojo, Kibo Shinguuji and Gonta I will protect with my life and I have to come in terms that they’re all gonna die because none of them screams “survivor”

(Kibo sounds a bit like Zetsubou Sensei and it makes me really confused )

Surprisingly don’t hate anyone outright

What if Angie’s god is the God of Poop from Oyasumi Punpun

Didn’t expect Hoshi to be so interesting

Amami cockblocked Shirogane like Damnnn my girlll

I’m not one for shipping, but Tojo/Shinguuji speaking right after one another so often is making my heart DOKI DOKI

High School Level hunt, so that’s why they were hidden as normal people? 

 so now they’re just locked up for having a talent? That’s actually a cool twist, or something

I can’t wait for the How the World Ended explanation. There being no bugs around makes it seem like some Fallout shit happened, but I liked the theory of the Despair disease turning people into zombies as well

Saihara’s mention that murder cases started piling up could really tie to Takumi’s arc from Killer Killer and that investigation division branch from FF

WHY IN GODS NAME WOULD YOU START CLEANING omg

I cannot bEAR to hear the word Mastermind one more TIME AND THEY KEEP SAYING IT Dear lord I’m gonna scream

Surprised Angie didn’t make some remark about blood sacrifice with the corpse blatantly bleeding in front of her

Instead of bullshit plot twist I was expecting Iruma to have used the drone for the murder but OK it’s still nice to be wrong no matter how herpderp is the plot twist imho I guess this is really the game where they’ll shitpost into high heavens. I mean it was a very clever trick, and for the first time the “protag” commits a murder, but Idk how to feel about it yet

 ;C Please stop making Gonta cry

Kaito is such a dork. I can’t even handle it

Ouma’s running for the SHSL Troll right. He better be (that adorable gross purple boy)

Shit that excecution was brutal, but so well done. Looking forwards....... sorta.... to the others

I actually don’t...... feel the feels for this one. Kaede is very empathic and the first motive was really overboard, but I just don’t..... feel anything atm

Saihara is nice but I also don’t feel squat for him. He’s just an adorable transboy

I hope my favs become killers so I can see them break down and get accused HHH

Will one of those annoying monokids die each chapter, can’t we just kill them all in one go?