#dated. may 1979

[zvaigzdelasas]

A helicopter carrying Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi has suffered a “hard landing”, state television reported, as officials said search operations were under way but were being impeded by poor weather conditions.

Iranian state media said the incident occurred on Sunday near Jolfa in Iran’s East Azerbaijan province.[...]

Raisi was returning from a visit to neighbouring Azerbaijan, where he had travelled to inaugurate a dam alongside the country’s President Ilham Aliyev.

State-linked media said three helicopters were in the Iranian president’s convoy, and the two others made it back safely. [...]

It remains unclear exactly what caused the “hard landing”, or whether any of the passengers in the helicopter have been hurt.[...]

Many of the military aircraft currently in service in Iran date back to before the country’s 1979 revolution.

19 May 24

[chlochette-sunde]

Know your Destiel/Cockles history: a calendar 

As a newcomer on Tumblr and on the Supernatural fandom, I first had trouble following all the past events that were regularly reminded and celebrated.

On this very special day (December 14th, European time), the following post is an attempt at listing those events, focusing on Destiel and Cockles (with a hint of Jenmisheel). Feel free to advise me for more (or less) dates!

Acknowledgement: The idea came from @youchangedmedestiel who also contributed to the content. The present post would never have been possible without @livebloggingmydescentintomadness 's Cockles masterlist. Color code: Destiel / Cockles

Honorary periodic event: FIMMF (Finger In My Mouth Friday)

January

12th: "Mish. Dee." (2021) - 1

16th: Broadcast of 15x09 “The Trap” (2020) - /

17th: ‘Isn't the season you met Misha?’ ‘Taste the rainbow’ JaxCon (2016) - 1

18th: The abandoned Jenmisheel podcast (2022) - 1

24th: Dean's birthday + ‘Jensen's the horse’ HousCon (2015) - / + 1

February

2nd: Broadcast of 12x10 “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” (2017) - /

14th: Destiel wedding anniversary (2021)

16th: Broadcast of 12x12 “Stuck in the Middle (With You)” (2017) - /

26th: ‘Which is funny, because so do I’ JIB11 (2023) - 1

28th: ‘Misha's been working out’ ‘He has though, hasn't he?’ NashCon (2016) - 1

March

1st: Jensen Ackles' birthday (1978) - 1 2 3 4

18th: Danneel Ackles' birthday (1979)

20th: Broadcast of 8x17 “Goodbye Stranger” + Gag reel (2013) - / + 1

23rd: Broadcast of 7x17 “The Born-Again Identity” (2012) + Broadcast of 15x13 “Destiny’s Child” + Gag reel (Jensen's infamous fart joke) (2020) - / + 1

April

1st: Mishapocalypse (2013) + Mishapocalypse 2.0 (2023) - 1 2 + 3

10th: “When Harry Met Sally” JIB2 (2011) - 1

13th: Season 15 EW Photoshoot (2020) - 1 2

15th: Broadcast of 5x18 “Point of No Return” + Gag reel (blowjob+‘we’re missing the gay angel’+‘confetti it’s a parade’) (2010) - 1 + 2 3 4 

15th: Bishagate 2.0 NJCon (2023) + Misha’s Cas essay (2022) - 1 2 + 3

23th: Bishagate ‘I’m all three’ NJCon (2022) - 1

25th: ‘I happen to be straight’ (2022) - 1 2

27th: Broadcast of 12x19 “The Future” (2017) - 1 2 3 4

28th: ‘Balls deep’ CR8 (2024) - 1

29th: Broadcast of 6x19 “Mommy Dearest” + Gag reel (2011) - 1

May

6th: Broadcast of 6x20 “The Man Who Would Be King” (2011) - /

7th: First release of 'Watching Over Me' (2021) - 1

19th: Straddlegate JIB10 (2019) - 1 2 3 4

21st: Jensen's bear underwear reveal JIB8 (2017) - 1

23rd: ‘Okay babe’ (2021) - 1

24th: Misha tenderly rescuing Jensen+’We like you the best’+Hitch scene JIB5 (2014) - 1 2 3

26th: ‘It’s not a subtext. It was clear text.’ PurCon8 (2024) - 1

27th: ‘I talked to Jensen and Danneel this morning because I couldn’t sleep’ PurCon7 (2023) - 1

June

July

1st: ‘I miss my blanky’ + ‘I love you’ VS ‘I need you’ (2021 (yes, on the same fucking day)) + ‘Also, Cas is gay.’ (2023) - 1 2 3 + 4

14th: 'Destiel is Cockles Fault' Day SFCon (2024) - 1

24th: ‘Wow, that was really informative. Thank you.’ SDCC (2011) + ‘How do you know’ SDCC (2016) - 1 + 2

August

9th: Destiel fanfics first ship to reach the milestone of 100,000 stories 'I have to admit, I like being on top' (2021)

13th: ‘I’d love to do a Western…slash romcom with Misha’ VanCon (2017) - 1

17th: Cockles day at sea (2015) + ‘I would probably choose to be the car, because Dean would ride me all day’ SPNDEN (2018) - 1 2 + 3

18th: Destiel winning TV Choice Best Chemistry (2015) - 1

20th: Misha Collins' birthday (1974) - 1

September

8th: Release of "Some things I Still Can't Tell You", poetry book by Misha Collins - Men in the Woods (2021) - 1

13th: First broadcast of Supernatural (2005) - /

18th: Broadcast of Lazarus Rising, first appearance of Castiel (2008) + First release of Jensen publicly singing 'Angeles' (2012) (+Bonus: Jensen serenading Misha at JIB11 (2023)) - 1 + 2 3 4

24th: Broadcast of 5x03 “Free to Be You and Me” (2009) (Bonus: reference of ‘personal space’ at SFCon (2024)) - 1

October

11th: Danneel Ackles, sharing a picture of Jensen, reading "Some things I still can't tell you" by the fire, Misha tagged on his heart (2021) - 1 2 

13th: Broadcast of 12x01 “Keep Calm and Carry On” + ‘You're poking me’ Gag reel (2016) - 1

16th: ‘He’s like an angel plushie’ DenCon (2021) - 1

20th: ‘I can say whatever I want because Danneel is in love with you' HCCB (2024) - 1 

21st: Broadcast of 10x03 “Soul Survivor” + ‘Aloha cowboy’ Gag reel (2014) - 1 2

23rd: ‘I should have said ‘I love you too’ and hugged him’ VanCon (2022) - 1

28th: Broadcast of 11x04 “Baby” (2015) (Bonus: reenactment of the CasDean scene at JIB7 (2016))

November

5th: Broadcast of 15x18 "Despair" - Destiel's anniversary (2020) - /

8th: ‘Homosexual declaration of love’ Darklight Online Con (2020) + 'I live it' (2021) - 1 (no official proof because the panel has mysteriously been deleted from social medias around the 26th) + 2

11th: Broadcast of 10x05 “Fan Fiction” (2014) - /

12th: Broadcast of 9x06 “Heaven Can't Wait” (2013) - /

16th: Broadcast of 13x06 “Tombstone” (2017) + ‘Release the tapes!’ Day (2020) - / + 1

19th: Broadcast of 15x20 "Carry on" -> Last episode of Supernatural (so far 🕯🤞🏻) (2020) + Misha sharing by mistake (?) “The epic love story of Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins” blog (2013) - / + 1 2

24-25th: 'y yo a ti' (2020) - 1 

24th: ‘His ferret goes other places’ (2024) - 1

26th: Misha having to live stream and do PR during Thanksgiving, in mid divorce, following 'y yo a ti' (2020) - 1

December

1st: Danneel sharing a post to promote "The Adventurous Eaters Club", featuring Jensen and their kids (2019) - 1 2

5th: ‘I love you, not like a brother, but like a lover’ CCXP (2024) - 1 2

6th: ‘Cas was supposed to have his arm around Dean in the bar’ CCXP (2024) - 1 2

14th: Cockles anniversary (2009) + Introduction of 'Eyes Like The Sky' beer (2020) - 1 2 3 + 4

19th: Jenmisheel holiday package (2017) - 1 2

[project-sekai-facts]

Only one date is ever mentioned in-game, that being 2021. Considering that the Virtual Singer Fan Festa seems to be a stand-in for Magical Mirai 2021, we can assume that the Scramble Fan FESTA! event takes place in September 2021 (the real-life MM2021 was delayed to November due to covid-19, but the pandemic doesn't exist in-universe and MM Tokyo usually takes place at the beginning of September). There are Leo/need Daily Life social media posts that show them attending Magical Mirai, and do state the year of the event, but these can be considered promotional material for the event itself rather than canon material, especially since the characters address in-game that only one year has passed since the start of the story (despite the fact they have celebrated new year's day 4 times now. Timeloop things).

Based on this date, we can actually place exactly when every main character was born. The cutoff date for Japanese schools is April 1st, making Ena the oldest main character, being a 3rd year with a birthday of April 30th, followed by Tsukasa on May 17th, so on so forth all the way down to Kohane, a 2nd year with a birthday of March 2nd.

Considering when Scramble Fan FESTA is set, Ena, who was a 2nd year at the time, would be 17 years old. That would place her date of birth as April 30th, 2004. Additionally, while Kohane, a first year at the time, should be 15 during the event, the game considers her to be 16 due to using a set age for every grade bracket. Regardless, the event setting places her date of birth as March 2nd, 2006.

Based on this, we can conclude that:

Ena, Tsukasa, Rui, and Shizuku were born in 2004

Mafuyu, Kanade, Airi, Minori, Saki, Toya, Nene, An, Ichika, Mizuki, Emu, Haruka, Honami, and Akito were born in 2005

Shiho and Kohane were born in 2006

This also means that Ena, Tsukasa and Rui are all older than the MEIKO software (released November 5th 2004), and everyone except Kohane is older than the KAITO software (released February 17th 2006). Every main character is older than Miku, the Kagamines, and Luka based on this information.

Using the information around set ages*, we can also work out rough estimates for when the side characters were born. For example, Arata, who was 19 during the first 3 years of the game, is 3 years older than the members of VBS who were all considered to be 16. Since the members of VBS were born in the April 2005 - April 2006 school year range, Arata was likely born in the 2002-2003 school year range.

* based on how characters like Youta and Miu, who are said to be the same age as Leo/need, were both confirmed to be 16 years old before the 3rd anniversary age-up. Also Haruka's age is confirmed as 16 at a point in time when she shouldn't be 16. Timeloop things.

Based on this, the oldest living side character, Kounosuke, who was 55 pre-3rd anniversary and 39 years older than Emu, was probably born between April 1966 and April 1st 1967. On the younger side of things, Hanano, who was 14 pre-3rd anni, was likely born between April of 2007 and 2008. I've put the rest of the estimated side character DOBs under the cut.

assumed age as of 3rd anniversary in brackets (literally just pre-age-up age + 1)

Rakunosuke Otori - April 2nd 1922 ~ April 1st 1923 (98 (at time of death. would be 100 if still alive))

Hinako Arisawa - April 2nd 1956 ~ April 1st 1957 (66)*

Kounosuke Otori - April 2nd 1966 ~ April 1st 1967 (56)

Jean Riley - 1967~1968 (55)

Harumichi Aoyagi - 1968~1969 (54)

Shin'ei Shinonome - 1973~1974 (49)

Mr Yoisaki - 1975~1976 (47)

Mr Asahina - 1976~1977 (46)*

Ken Shiraishi - 1978~1979 (44)

Taiga Kotaki - 1978~1979 (44)

Mrs Asahina - 1980~1981 (42)*

Yoshiki Shindou - 1982~1983 (40)*

Shuichi Hiiragi - 1983~1984 (39)*

Yuuka Kazamatsuri - 1990~1991 (32)

Keisuke Otori - 1991~1992 (31)

Shousuke Otori - 1994~1995 (28)

Daigo Kijima - 1994~1995 (28)*

Tatsuya Okazaki - 1999~2000 (23)

Yuuki Akiyama - 1999~2000 (23)*

Ayaka Saito - 2001~2002 (21)

Hinata Otori - 2001~2002 (21)

Iori - 2002~2003 (20)

Mio - 2002~2003 (20)

Arata Tono - 2002~2003 (20)

Souma Miyata - 2002~2003 (20)

Asahi Genbu - 2003~2004 (19)*

Reki Bakuno - 2003~2004 (19)*

Kotaro Mita - 2004~2005 (18)

Sakurako Seiryuin - 2004~2005 (18)

Nanami "Nanamin" Hayakawa - 2004~2005 (18)

Futaba Natsuno - 2004~2005 (18)

Arisa Higure - 2004~2005 (18)*

Ayumi Tabata - 2004~2005 (18)

Hibiki Miyake - 2004~2005 (18)

Shuuta Hayashi - 2004~2005 (18)

Ibuki Taniyama - 2004~2005 (18)

Yuu Hagiyama - 2004~2005 (18)*

Yuina Uchiyama - 2005~2006 (17)

Shouta Hayashi - 2005~2006 (17)

Miu Takagi - 2005~2006 (17)

Youta Yoshizaki - 2005~2006 (17)

Riho Hasegawa - 2005~2006 (17)

Saku Kousaka - 2005~2006 (17)

Akari Enosaki - 2005~2006 (17)*

Chiharu Tsubaki - 2005~2006 (17)*

Mai - 2006~2007 (16)

Hanano Yoshizaki - 2007~2008 (15)

Additional notes (mod is rambling atp):

Rakunosuke died when he was 98 years old. In the WxS main story, Emu says that he died a year ago. Assuming Emu was 15 at the time, they have an age gap of around 83 years. The year of birth listed here was based on that assumption.

We know that Kanade's mother died aged 30, but we do not know when she died. She is still alive in flashbacks set roughly 10 years prior to the events of game.

Characters marked with an asterisk had their ages officially given as one year less than they are given in this post. The reason for me adding a year on is because of the confirmation in a livestream of Daigo's age being 27. Daigo is meant to be the same age as Shousuke, whose age was given as 27 prior to the 3rd anniversary. Based on this we can assume that NPCs from the Brand New World era have their ages taken from the same time frame as characters from the Journey to Bloom era, i.e, pre-3rd anni (and this also confirms that NPCs inexplicably don't age but we'll ignore that for continuity reasons).

We do not have confirmed ages for Nagi, Sakaki, Ohara, Cedric and Slade, Natsuomi and Shuji, Suzu, Elena and Rebecca yet. Shuji is in university so is likely in his early 20s. Suzu is said to be around the same age as Nene and Emu. Cedric and Slade are said to be close in age to VBS (possibly a little bit older).

Nagi's age is left blank in the fanbook due to it not being revealed that she was dead at the time of publication. She is younger than Taiga, but we don't know by how much, but nonetheless she was likely born in the early 1980s. It is unlikely we will ever know her exact age.

Ohara is stated to be in his mid-30s, placing his birth year as somewhere in the 1980s, likely around 1986-1989. Sakaki is an old friend of Ohara's, so he is likely a similar age.

No NPCs are given exact birthdays

[seungkw1]

heroes — chs [TEASER]

💿 heroes - david bowie 🎶

🪐 pairing: chwe hansol x gn!reader 🪐 theme: sci-fi au 🪐 teaser wc: 2.2k 🪐 teaser warnings: none, but the full fic will contain elements of horror 🪐 a/n: this fic is loosely based on the movie Alien (1979), one of my all-time favs!! and who better to star in it than our favorite Movie Guy™️ chwe hansol. i'm honestly having a blast researching and writing for this one, so i hope u guys enjoy it as much as i do :) p.s. release date is tbd, i’m gonna be v busy these next several weeks but i am hoping to post by end of may, pls bear with me <3

You’ve been Captain of the Atlas IV for five years now, so a months-long interstellar cargo haul like this one is standard work for you. But when you’re mysteriously woken prematurely from your cryogenic sleep-stasis to find yourself still in the middle of deep space, nowhere near your destination planet, it’s up to you and your Pilot to figure out what triggered the Emergency Revival System - before it’s too late.

hisssssss

Your brain begins to awaken as you re-enter consciousness. Somewhere in the back of your mind you recognize the sound of the sleep pod unlocking, signaling your long journey through the depths of space must be coming to an end - but right now the only thing you can think about is how dead you feel. Waking up after such a long, artificial sleep is always physically challenging, but nothing you’re not used to by now. You give yourself a couple minutes to lay there, still half-lucid, letting your body slowly readjust from the months-long cryogenic sleep cycle. You listen to the ambient sounds of the ship. The noise is loud, but low - mere background noise that you’ve grown accustomed to. The mechanical rumbling of the engine amidst the otherwise silent ship brings you a strange sense of comfort, a contrast to the usual chatter of the crew and beeping and blooping of machinery. You decide to take a few more moments to enjoy the peace and quiet before you have to get back to work.

Suddenly, you are flooded in the sterile brightness of the ship’s interior lighting as the capsule lid is opened - nearly blinding you even behind closed eyelids. You reluctantly open your eyes to, to see-

A face, staring down at you.

You jump a little. You blink a few times as you sit up, still processing the identity of the face’s owner. Then it registers: it’s your Pilot.

“Jesus Hansol, you fucking scared me.”

“Sorry, Captain,” he apologizes. He just stands there, upright, so still that he could be mistaken for a mannequin if you weren’t paying too much attention.

“Why are you standing over my pod?" you grumble, still adjusting to being roused so abruptly.

He looks at you, his demeanor calm as always - but based on the concerned look in his eyes, you guess he’s going to tell you that there’s a bit of a problem. 

“We have a bit of a problem.”

“Yeah, I guessed that much. What-”

Before you can ask anything, he’s already spun around on his heels, making a beeline back to the cockpit. You stumble out of the pod and quickly don your coveralls before hurrying after him.

You enter the control room, its many processors and screens humming all around you. At first glance, everything seems fine - all machines are fully operational, no blinking lights, no alerts going off. Somehow, you find this more worrying than if all the alarms were blaring.

Hansol hovers over the main computer. You join him, stepping up next to him to get a good look at the screen. To an untrained eye it would be incomprehensible, but you could interpret the map in your sleep. You take one look at the coordinates and the issue is glaringly obvious.

“Shit.”

Your whisper is barely audible, but Hansol gives you a stoic nod.

“Yeah.”

You’ve captained the Atlas IV for five years now - you’ve been on so many of these routine, months-long cargo expeditions that you’ve stopped keeping count; every last detail of its operations is ingrained in your memory at this point. The ship is programmed to wake up the crew in stages upon entering a 0.5 parsec orbital radius of the destination planet (Pilot first, Captain next, and then the remaining crew), allotting plenty of time to communicate with the ground crew and prepare for landing.

However, the blinking blue light indicating the ship’s position is nowhere near the destination planet. It’s not even near any planet - you are in the middle of fucking nowhere.

The system is designed to wake the crew early if an emergency arises - a critical built-in safety measure - but there’s no emergency. Aside from the fact that you’re deep in interstellar space, there doesn’t even appear to be a minor issue at hand.

You look up at Hansol, who is patiently awaiting your response.

“Why was the Emergency Revival System triggered?” you ask hesitantly.

He stares at you for a second before responding.

“I don’t know.”

“And is anything malfunctioning? At all?”

He shakes his head.

“I’ve run all diagnostics twice - nothing. If there’s a problem somewhere, it’s undetectable.”

You grimace. Hansol lets out a sigh. You both know you only have one option here.

“Well, guess we better start combing the place. Find the problem ourselves.”

He nods resolutely. You head to the supply room together, gearing up in silence. You grab as many tools as you can carry - anything you might need to repair… whatever the issue is. 

“Alright, I’ll start at the fore, you start at the aft. Take your comms - radio me if you find anything, no matter how trivial.”

You prepare to head out, but the silence filling the room stops you. You turn around to see Hansol, geared up head to toe with supplies, holding two pulse rifles. He extends one to you.

“Why-”

“Just in case.”

“We’re the only ones here, and everyone else is still in stasis. Who would I possibly need to shoot?”

“Nobody. But you never know what you might come across.”

“Hansol if there was anyone, or… anything else on this ship we would know about it,” you reply, but not confidently. You know he’s right. Weird shit happens in deep space sometimes - better safe than sorry. You take the rifle. 

“Be careful, y/n.”

Normally if a subordinate addressed you informally, you would scold them. You have a good camaraderie with your crew, but you still demand respect. But you and Hansol have known each other for years - although you were never super close, you were still in the same class at the Academy. You did all your basic trainings together - and that kind of shit builds an unspoken bond. You wouldn’t necessarily consider him a friend, but truthfully you do see him as your equal. Being on a first name basis with him just comes naturally.

You give him a firm nod. “You too.”

He clips his rifle to his utility belt. “Meet you in the middle. Unless I find something first.” He shoots you a playfully-smug grin. “Which I will.”

You roll your eyes, but you grin back at him. “Hey, take your fucking time, it’s not a competition.”

“I know,” he says as he exits the room. His voice echoes from the hallway. “But I’m still gonna win.”

[two hours later]

You wipe the sweat from your brow as you shut the large panel door. You’ve checked what feels like a million controls and systems at this point, but - frustratingly - everything appears to be in order. Still no insight into what’s going on.

With an exhausted groan you sit on the ground, leaning your head back against the wall. You grab your canteen and chug some water. This type of work isn’t hard, but it’s fucking tiring. Not to mention boring as hell. At least you have an old mp3 player to keep you company, but you’re still too alone with your thoughts for your liking. As level-headed as you normally are, your mind can’t help but wander, imagining every terrible thing that could possibly happen. You try to push those thoughts aside, knowing you’re probably overthinking it. But the worries still linger. 

You close your eyes, zoning out to the sound of David Bowie’s voice in your ears:

I, I can remember (I remember) Standing, by the wall (by the wall) And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads) And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall) And the shame, was on the other side Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

“Captain! Come in Captain!”

You jolt upright. You curse yourself, realizing you must have drifted off to sleep for a bit. It takes you a moment to process where the voice is coming from - but then you notice the red light of your comms lighting up on your wrist. 

“Hansol, come in.” you reply, bringing your arm up to your face.

“Geez, I was starting to think something happened to you.”

“Sorry, was just taking a rest. What’s up?”

“I found… something.”

“What do you mean ‘something’?"

“It’s easier if you see for yourself. Meet me in Cargo Bay 7.”

“Roger, on my way.”

The large pneumatic doors to the cargo bay open with a deep whoooosh. The coldness of the hangar stings your face as you step into the freezing room. Hansol’s head pokes up from behind several rows of large crates, his breath visible in the frigid air. He waves you over to him. 

“What is it?” you inquire as you approach him, but as you step around to where Hansol is facing, you see it. Along the side of the crate, where the door is meant to be sealed shut, is a large hole ripped through the multilayered titanium walls. The shredded-up metal protrudes outwards in a peculiar manner, almost as if…

You lean in to get a closer look at the busted door. Hansol’s arm instinctively shoots out in front of yours to stop you from getting too close.

“Be careful - we don't know what's in there.”

You give him a firm nod. You retrieve a crowbar from your toolkit, sticking it into the small opening. Hansol lifts his pulse rifle into position, pointing it at the crate. Slowly you heave the large door open. 

The beam of your flashlight illuminates the crate’s interior. In the center of the crate sits a biocapsule - not unlike the ones you use to enter stasis during long journeys, though notably larger. The capsule’s exterior is fitted with several, heavy-duty locking devices that appear to have been inadequate, given that the glass lid is almost entirely missing, accounting for the thick shards of broken glass strewn all over the floor. Dozens of tubes and wires connect the capsule to various bizarre pieces of machinery, presumably keeping its former occupant in stasis or something of the like. But now, it is vacant. Whoever - or, whatever - was in there, is gone. 

“Okay, this is fucking weird,” you say, turning to Hansol. “Live cargo isn’t even permitted on this ship. What do the logs have listed for this shipment’s contents?”

Hansol lifts his arm and activates what looks like a sleek wristwatch. The watch projects its hologrammatic display into the air in front of his face, featuring a small keyboard. He types in the crate’s serial number into the interface.

“Um,” he starts, his face remaining placid, but you can see the confusion in his eyes. “There’s no record of this container in the system.”

“Like… at all?”

He types in the number again, checking if he made a mistake. But the projected screen once again only says 0 results found.

“Nothin’.”

You furrow your brow. That should be impossible - crates go through two checkpoints to ensure they are registered correctly before they are even allowed on the ship. 

“Search the lot number.”

He types AT-07 into the device. It brings up the general cargo bay information - shipments are sorted into different bays depending on the type of contents they carry.

“‘General Plumbing Equipment’,” he reads from the screen.

You let out a short laugh.

“Plumbing equipment my ass.” 

“Yup,” Hansol agrees. “This has gotta be contraband.”

Despite all the weird shit that’s been going on, the man has remained cool as a cucumber the whole time. You’re reminded why you’ve hand-selected him to be your Pilot for the last six missions.

“So, we have no idea what this is or where it even came from.” 

Hansol nods. “Affirmative.”

You take a closer look at the hole. Crude, jagged edges line the gashes where the wall was torn asunder. Worse, however - deep scratches lay engraved around the hole’s perimeter, distinctly made in sets of three; they look eerily like claw marks. It looks exactly like what you’d expect a titanium crate to look like if something large broke out of it. But, the impenetrable thickness of the walls renders the crate nearly indestructible. Whatever being was held here - it is capable of gargantuan strength. 

“What could have possibly done this?” you ask - not necessarily to Hansol, for you know he doesn't know either. You really would rather not find out, but that doesn't seem like an option at this point. 

Hansol stares into the bizarre crate, mind racing with theories and questions. 

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it.”

You turn to face your Pilot. His demeanor is unchanged, but he looks undeniably concerned. As are you. 

“Well. What now?”

Hansol gives a slight shrug. 

“It's your call, boss.”

“Right,” you sigh. Being in charge of decision-making is something you've gotten very good at over the years, but it certainly is a burden sometimes.

A sudden few beeps resonate from Hansol’s wristband. He lifts his arm to read the notification. 

“The rest of the crew is waking up now,” he informs you. 

“Shit. We better go brief them on the situation.”

Hansol nods in agreement. He puts his flashlight back on his tool belt and pulls his pulse rifle up again - safety still on, but ready to fire if needed. You do the same, silently praying to any god who might be listening that you won't need to use it.

But you're not too optimistic about that. 

TAGLIST: @miniseokminnies @kyeomiis @tinycatharsis @hannieween @smiileflower @exomew 

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[henrysglock]

So...How Old Is Jane, Really?

Following up on this post about some time messiness I've noticed during my rewatch of ST. Again, if this has been talked about before, I haven't seen mention of it. So...bear with me.

1983, less 5 years, is 1978. That throws an initial wrench into "Terry tried to break El/Jane out of HNL in 1974".

It means all this ought to have happened in 1978:

However, Becky also says:

Terry has had Jane's nursery put up for 12 years. That means Jane should have been born in 1971, which means Jane should have been seven years old when Terry broke into HNL, which aligns well enough with El in ST4 being 7 years old mid-1979:

Okay, so let's say Terry did break into HNL in 1978 rather than 1974. What's the big whoop?

Well. The little blonde girl in Kali's rainbow room was played by Clara/Charlotte Ward, both of whom were 3-4 years old at the time (born 2013, ST2 was released in 2017).

So it's either Terry broke into HNL around 1974, saw 3-4 year old Jane (1971), and has been mind-broken for about 7 years, with Jane being 12 years old in 1983...or Terry broke into HNL in 1978, saw 3-4 year old Jane (1975), and has been mind-broken for 5 years, with Jane being 9 years old in 1983.

Someone's lying here...or mistaken.

This begs the question, at least from my end:

What if I've been thinking about it the wrong way? What if there's more than one Jane, rather than one Jane and one El?

What if we're dealing with two different Janes, one of whom is El?

So...what if this blonde girl is some other Jane, a girl who's years younger than Becky's Jane (1971)? This girl would have been born around 1975, which is congruent with one of the newspaper articles El leafs through in ST2 about Terry and baby Jane:

"...culminating in the abduction of Ives' baby daughter in the mid-1970s."

1971 is not the mid-1970s. The mid 1970s is 1974-1976. If Jane was born and abducted in the mid-1970s, then Terry's break-in would have to be after that point. So...Definitely not 1974. It's not physically possible, and it's not plausible, either, given the dates I laid out above from Becky. It's more likely to be around 1978.

This is later corroborated by the newspaper article we see during Terry's dream circle, when she's retrieving her gun from the safe:

"...as a special inquiry into a covert CIA operation, code-named MK Ultra, has expanded the extensive details about that which has been haunting the nation for the past decade."

MK Ultra was revealed to the public at large in 1975-1976, which means Terry could not have been retrieving her gun to break in before 1975 while also having this article exist the way it does.

The newspaper shown in that screenshot simply cannot exist before June 11th, 1975. It is physically impossible, given that MK Ultra is mentioned by name. Terry could not have broken in in 1974.

Additionally, the fact that the article mentions an expansion of details, especially when paired with that the article specifically says "that which has been haunting the nation for the past decade", leads me to believe it may have been written closer to 1977:

...given that MK Ultra was officially halted in 1972:

...meaning that any article written around 1977-1978 would have been referencing about a decade's worth of material/the nation would have been haunted by a) an article on other non-MK Ultra CIA operations published in December of 1974, b) the Rockefeller Commission's report in 1975, c) the Church Committee's report in 1976, and d) the FOIA discovery in 1977—in other words, as I said, events from the majority of the 1970s, aka "the past decade".

This same text (though in a different article...what is this, their Lorem Ipsum? Look how they duplicated the right-most paragraphs in the pic below) can be seen in ST1 as well:

We can even see both Richard and Martin Brenner being named in these texts, both of which create a network of "Jane was born in the mid-1970s, meaning Terry could not have come looking for her before the mid-1970s" and "MK Ultra was revealed to the public in 1975, meaning Terry could not have broken in before 1975 at the very earliest", which means regardless of which Brenner you're reading about...Terry broke in later than the fandom has been assuming.

This leads me to believe, given a lack of solid contradictory evidence, that Terry did, in fact, break in around 1978.

This is corroborated by the accessory comic Six, which states that Terry broke in in 1978. Accessory comics and novels, while not strictly canon, have been known to have small canon details peppered in before those things actually appear in canon (like Will seeing what appears to be Vecna's mindscape in a comic released years before ST4).

Terry could not have broken in before June of 1975, and yet...fandom wiki says 1974. And based on what?

An Instagram post.

When the actual show explicitly says differently? This is why we don't blindly trust the Wiki, kids. It doesn't tell the full truth.

Canon says Terry broke in after 1975. Canon specifically says she broke in circa 1978.

Anyway, the real questions remain:

Was Jane 6-7 in 1978, or was she 3-4?

Was Jane 11-12 in 1983, or was she 8-9?

Will Jane be 15-16 come 1987, or will she be 12-13?

The answer is...yes! (depending on which Jane you're referring to)

Which circles me right back around to the usual culprits.

Which like. Let me cook, ok?

An age gap of 12-13 (actor age)

and 15-16 (character age)?

Plus, some other bits and bobs linking Nell to Jane:

Alice in Wonderland

Casting and Costuming choices #1

Casting and Costuming choices #2

I'm wondering if I wasn't more correct here, here, and here than I originally thought.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Autofiction

Autofiction - (short for autobiographical fiction) is a genre of literature that combines elements of autobiography and fiction.

In autofiction, details of the author’s life blend with fictional information, characters, and events.

It often reads as like a published first-person account of the writer’s real life.

The line between fiction and fact might not always be clear to the reader, leading to a sense of instability in the narrative.

Autobiographical novels are novels that use elements of autofiction.

Characteristics of Autofiction

The specific characteristics of autofiction are subject to interpretation, but some common features in autofiction works include:

Life proximity: Beyond character names, the work will contain similarities between the author’s life and that of the protagonist. The most important one tends to be the role of writing in the protagonist’s life. Often, the protagonist is a professional writer. Some autofiction is a type of autobiographical metafiction, which focuses on the writing and storytelling process.

Name sharing: Authors of autofiction will sometimes share the same name as the protagonist of the novel or short story.

Uncertainty: Much of the tension in autofiction comes from uncertainty about what is real and what is fictional. Some details will be verifiable, but others may be difficult or impossible to determine by a reader, causing speculation.

Examples of Autofiction

Autofiction is a fairly popular genre, and there have been several recent examples of this blend of the real and the fictional:

Every Day is for the Thief (2007): The first novel by Nigerian-American writer Teju Cole, this account of a young man’s journey to Nigeria has a diaristic form, reflecting Cole’s own journey to discover his roots.

My Struggle (2009-2011): In this epic cycle of novels by Norwegian writer Karl Ove Knausgaard, the author tells the story of his own life. Knausgaard made up details to fill in the blanks of his recollection.

How Should a Person Be? (2010): Canadian writer Sheila Heti constructed this work from interviews with various personal friends, offering a unique version of autofiction.

The Outline Trilogy (2014-2018): Rachel Cusk, a British-Canadian writer, has worked in both fiction and essay form. Critics consider her trilogy of novels, Outline, Transit, and Kudos, to be autobiographical fiction. Unlike most autofiction, the narrator in this trilogy relays information about other characters and not much about herself.

Motherhood (2018): This work of autofiction by Canadian writer Sheila Heti focuses on her struggles about deciding whether or not to have children.

The Topeka School (2019): In Ben Lerner’s work of autofiction, the author describes experiences that closely mirror events from his own life, in scenes set in Kansas and then New York.

A Brief History of Autofiction

Autofiction dates back to Ancient Greece, and its popularity continues to rise.

First-person narratives: First-person narratives with an autobiographical component are nearly as old as literature itself. Some scholars credit “I,” a lyric poem by the Archaic Greek poet Sappho, as an early example of this type of text.

In Search of Lost Time (1913-1927): Scholars consider this seven-volume work by the French novelist Marcel Proust an early version of autofiction. It involves many details and characters from Proust’s own life, although much else is fictionalized.

Autofiction: The term “autofiction” first surfaced when the author Serge Doubrovsky used it to describe his 1977 novel Fils. Sleepless Nights (1979) by Elizabeth Hardwick and I Love Dick (1997) by Chris Kraus were instrumental in popularizing the genre and the use of the term in scholarship and book reviews.

Source ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[detcobookclub]

How is everyone faring with the first week of reading?

To add a little extra food for thought, here is the first entry in our Case Notes, a semi-regular (read: when Mod B has time) write-up of various bits of trivia, translation notes, and personal musings that we hope can spice up your reading!

These will, of course, not be comprehensive in the slightest; there's FAR too much to cover to create something truly encompassing of something as old and long-running as Detective Conan. What you'll find written here are my own curated notes, some more obviously well known than others, so feel free to add on any bits and bobs you may know, whether it be in a reblog or in the tags!

Without any further ado, let's crack open the notebook.

1) Of The Times

File 1 of Detective Conan is named Heisei Holmes. Some six or so years ago, you may remember the big commotion when the Japanese emperor passed away, leading to the shift from Heisei to Reiwa. These terms are official calendar terms, used to mark imperial eras in the Japanese calendar.

That might make you assume they're largely ceremonial, but this is far from the case. These era names are in common use in nearly every facet of life in Japan, from government records to newspapers.

Speaking of which... early on in File 1, there just so happens to be a newspaper!

It's somewhat cut off, but there's enough of it there to read the date in the very top left corner: 平成六年一月十二日. Heisei 6, January 12.

The Heisei era covers the years 1989-2019, meaning Heisei 6 is 1994... so this newspaper is dated a week after the first chapter's release!

2) Names!!

Here we have the first of a string of trivia we'll likely see: character names! We're given a hint as to how Shinichi came up with his "Conan Edogawa" alias in the story, but there's plenty more characters outside of it that have interesting facets to their names. We've been introduced to four of our core characters in this first volume, so let's take a quick look at where their name inspiration comes from.

Shinichi Kudo: Believe it or not, this name is Vibes Based, with Gosho apparently admitting he chose the name largely based on how it sounded when spoken out loud. “Kudo” comes from Shunsaku Kudo, the main character of Tantei Monogatari, a 1979 Japanese TV series. Shinichi is from Shinichi Hoshi, a mid-20th century SF writer.

Ran Mouri: A snippet of sounds from the Japanese reading of Maurice Leblanc (モーリス・ルブラン). Mo-risu Ruburan.

Kogoro Mouri: Take Mouri from above, and combine it with the first name of Kogoro Akechi, a fictional private detective created by Edogawa Ranpo.

Hiroshi Agasa: “Agasa” is from Agatha Christie. “Hiroshi” is an alternate name reading of the noun 博士, hakase, which loosely means “professor.” His name is even written with the very same kanji!

But where names are concerned, we also have to consider Yoko Okino's intro case! As it turns out, each of the four case specific characters introduced in these chapters have names that share a common theme:

Yoko Okino: Oki (沖) can refer to the open sea.

Yuko Ikezawa: Ike (池) means lake.

Yamagishi: Gishi (岸), or kishi, refers to a shoreline.

Akiyoshi Fujie: E (江) refers to an inlet.

3) Detective Trivia

Another quick and easy one we'll probably see a lot.

When Shinichi tries to prove himself to Agasa, he refers to a meal the professor undoubtedly ate at the restaurant Columbo.

Columbo is a 1970s American crime drama that saw international success, being syndicated in more than 40 countries. In Japan, it aired throughout the 1970s and was one of the first foreign TV shows chosen for reairing after Nippon TV shifted their Wednesday night movie block to the “Friday Road Show” (the currently very popular Friday night movie block that has featured a number of Detective Conan movies) in 1985.

4) Japanese Language Quirks

For this first week, I've pulled two examples. The first is a little more cultural, while the second is a little more linguistic.

Aniki

Though we don't know their names yet at the time of this reading, there were two pretty obviously shady characters introduced in File 1 that subsequently pounded and poisoned our protag. Over the course of the chapter, the stockier of the two refers to the other with the term "aniki."

"Aniki" is from a subset of familial terms (in this case, "brother") that can be used to indicate certain societal or hierarchical relationships outside the scope of family. It's a particularly versatile one, but context is important here: their shady garb, and their shady behavior. The use, combined with these factors, immediately pegs them as either involved in or directly adjacent to organized crime. Though it can be a fairly soft term of endearment outside this context, when used IN this context it refers to a member worthy of respect who has the backing of their leader.

As a result, it's a term that's difficult to localize. It's less immediately hierarchical than "boss," but a little more formal and full of admiration than "bro."

Furigana

This is the very last panel of the volume in Japanese:

You might notice that the furigana, the much smaller text normally reserved for a pronunciation guide, also includes kanji... which seems to defeat the purpose.

This is a common practice in literary works that aims to double up the meaning of the printed word. When spoken, you'll often hear the smaller furigana text spoken instead. As it's the word that's spoken, you'll also often see it prioritized in translations, which may or may not leave some of the meaning lost in the process.

As such, a simple translation that wouldn't over-complicate things would use the phrase "real voice" (ホントの声) here, since that's the furigana. "[When that time comes, I'll let you hear] my real voice."

What this is functionally modifying, though, is the word 本音. If you've done any digging into Japanese culture, you may have seen honne discussed historically or culturally with the contrasting ideas of "honne and tatemae" - the idea that we provide a front (tatemae) to the world, while keeping our true motives (honne) hidden.

All that to say that when Shinichi thinks about letting Ran hear his "real voice," he's also insinuating that he'll simultaneously let her hear how he "really feels." A confession, perhaps?

5) MAGIC KAITO REAL?!

I know Magic Kaito isn't part of the reading homework yet, but I simply can't ignore these Easter eggs.

The first and most obvious reference is probably Tropical Land itself. The theme park that started it all in Detective Conan actually first appeared in Chapter 4 of Magic Kaito: "Kaitou Kid's Busy Day Off" (1987). If you've seen either the TMS adaptation or 1412, this episode was adapted in both.

The second super blink-and-you'll-miss-it reference is in File 6. While Agasa is rifling through his various gadgets in search of his new voice-changing bow tie, you can just barely see one of the tiny robots that chase after Kaito in Chapter 9 of Magic Kaito: "I Am The Master" (1988).

This chapter was NOT adapted for either anime, for reasons that will probably become immediately clear if you ever wanted to read it (early Magic Kaito is WILD).

6) Food For Thought: Sherlock Holmes

For Shinichi, the Sherlock Holmes influence can be discussed in both Doylist and Watsonian terms. In other words, it can be discussed both from without and within the story. There are many aspects that can be fun to discuss in both of these categories (his playing the violin), some that may lean closer to Watsonian (his justification for playing soccer), and still more that are probably a little more Doylist (a little crime can be forgiven if it's in service of a greater good...but this may also have some of Gosho's love of Arsene Lupin to thank as an inspiration).

In this moment, though, the most interesting (Doylist) discussion is the idea that Shinichi’s poisoning could be read as somewhat analogous to The Final Problem. This story is probably one of the most famous Sherlock Holmes stories, given it's the very story that killed Sherlock. It also introduces Professor James Moriarty, a crime lord who is very talented at making the deaths he orchestrates look like an accident and finding ways to physically distance himself from the deed.

Outside of Moriarty's talents resembling the way the drug used to poison Shinichi is said to leave no detectable trace in its victims, Gosho has also previously stated that Ran is Shinichi’s Watson. She, like Watson in The Final Problem, has been left behind while Shinichi went off to "die." But... at least Shinichi has told Ran he's alive instead of ghosting her for years like Sherlock did to Watson, right?

...That's a good thing, right?

[deadmotelsusa]

Tropicana, the second-oldest resort casino on the Las Vegas Strip, is closing.

On May 9, 2023, it was announced that a 33,000-seat baseball stadium will be built on the Tropicana site. It has to be removed by late 2024 so construction can start.

The Tropicana dates back to 1955, when hotelier Ben Jaffe, part owner of the Fontainebleau in Miami Beach, purchased the land. Gone is the original showroom where Les Folies Bergère dancers danced for 50 years, where Siegfried & Roy made their Vegas debut in 1967 and where Muhammad Ali held public training sessions for his fight against Ron Lyle in 1975.

Pictured here in the 1950s, 1990s and 2023. Two of my favorite features are the ornate stained-glass ceiling (built in 1979) above the blackjack tables and the bright orange carpet.

[disastrouscanasta]

A GUIDE TO PHIL OCHS

So, you’re interested in Phil Ochs? Great! You want to learn more about him? Awesome!

Where to start? …good question.

I started my Phil Ochs-learning journey by mindlessly skimming his little Spotify Artist bio, then, one day I got curious and read his entire, yes, entire Wikipedia page. This was months before I would be gripped by an overwhelming need to know absolutely EVERYTHING I could get my hands on about this guy. And while those are good jumping-points, it would have been nice to have a gentle hand to guide me in a vague direction, and that’s what this list is for!

Documentaries:

Phil Ochs: There But For Fortune (2010), a documentary by Kenneth Bowser, with interviews from Ochs’ family members: Meegan, Michael, Sonny, etc, as well as other names from his folk community, such as Joan Baez, Jim Glover, Larry “Ratso” Sloman, etc. It’s not very in-depth, but it’s where most people get their starting info.

(Can be found on youtube)

Chords of Fame (1984) was the first “documentary” made of Phil Ochs, less than a decade after his death. It’s part doc, part reenactment (Ochs is played by Bill Burnett) and honestly not the best iteration of this story. It’s heavily inspired by the Death Of A Rebel biography, and I would suggest reading that instead of watching this, as it has more context.

(Found on youtube in three separate parts, I’ve put the first two in this playlist, the third can be found here)

Writings:

Death of a Rebel by Marc Eliot (1979)

A well written book, released only a few years after Ochs’ death, so the info is relatively fresh at the time. It gives more insight than Schumacher’s biography does about some of the people in Ochs’ life, specifically his romantic partners (and by that I mean specifically Alice, with some extra mentions of Tina Date, and some vague dialogue about “Karen”)

(I read it on the internet archive)

There But For Fortune: the life of Phil Ochs by Michael Schumacher (1996)

This is a good one, which covers a lot of information, very educational. My main critique with this is that Schumacher doesn’t always seem to actually be a fan of Ochs, and especially not a fan of his music. That being said, the outlook that it presents information is to the point, while still being captivating and an all-around good read.

(I read it on the internet archive)

Phil Ochs: a Bio-Bibliography (1999)

Incredibly informative, and points out the faults from the other two books mentioned, such as the accidental title-swap between Ochs’ short stories “The Fight” and “White Milk to Red Wine,” which were both published during his schooling in the '50s. That’s how good this thing is with facts. Even still, it’s a good read, and an even better reference book with plenty of information included!

(you can read the pdf here)

The 100-page booklet from the compilation CD set— Farewells and Fantasies (released 1997), includes details from his life, pictures, lyrics, sections by people who knew him, and information about his discography

(I read it on the internet archive)

Writings by Ochs

The War Is Over, songbook, (1968)

This is specifically a wonderful zine-ish publication released by Ochs himself. It’s got articles written by him about folk, politics, etc. As well as writings by Judy Henske and Andy Wickham, photos, and artworks by Ron Cobb, as well as actual sheet music and lyrics to round out this songbook. Compared to other pieces where Ochs’ view is almost entirely speculative, this was put together by Phil Ochs, and provides a bit more insight into his ideas.

(You can buy an original copy online for $700 USD! or access it here on the Celebrating Phil Ochs website)

I’m Gonna Say It Now: The Writings Of Phil Ochs, book, (2020)

I read this recently, it’s not an essential read by any means but it’s got some interesting stuff that you may not have seen before.

(you can read the pdf here)

[morphean42]

And here it is! My personal timeline of the entirety of The Marvin Trilogy. I have more notes in my doc about particulars of Marvin’s life, but you’ll just have to read my fic to learn those… which… I will update soon. I swear. Don’t come at me.

@alebanana we were talking about timelines so I hope you don’t mind me tagging you, I’d love to see your ideas and compare!

If anyone has questions or comments please tell me I need to talk about this with people!!

Timeline below the cut

-June, 1941– Mother and Father graduate high school

-November, 1941– Mother and Father get married

-April, 1942– Father gets drafted and soon after sent away

-February 21st, 1943– Marvin is born

-December 8th, 1943– Trina is born

-July 1944– Father returns

-1945– Mendel is born

-1948– Charlotte is born

-October 27th, 1949– Whizzer is born

-1952– Cordelia is born

-Feburary 21st, 1957– Marvin turns 14 (How Marvin Eats His Breakfast, Marvin’s Giddy Seizures, The Rape of Miss Goldberg)

-November 4th, 1957– Marvin is cast as Columbus (My High School Sweetheart, Set Those Sails)

-March 17th, 1958– Marvin acts in the show (How America Got Its Name)

-May 20th, 1960– Sweetheart wants to have sex with Marvin (I Swear I Won’t Ever Again Pt. 2)

-June 14th, 1961– Marvin graduates high school (High School Ladies at Five O’Clock)

-February 3rd, 1965– Marvin and Trina meet (Love Me For What I Am)

-March 29th, 1965– Marvin and Trina begin to date

-June 14th, 1965– Marvin graduates college with a bachelors in history or some shit

-June 14th, 1966– Trina graduates college with bachelors in teaching

-February 14th, 1968– Jason is conceived (Nausea Before The Game)

-April 25th, 1968– Marvin and Trina learn she’s pregnant and Marvin proposes (My Chance To Survive The Night)

-July 8th, 1968– Marvin and Trina get married (I Am Wearing A Hat, Wedding Song, 3 Seconds, Wedding Song Pt. 2, How The Body Falls Apart)

-October 16th, 1968– Jason is born

-June 24th, 1970– Jason is a fitful sleeper like his father (I Can’t Sleep, Helluva Day)

-December 20th, 1974– Marvin thinks about his family while with Mendel (I Swear Won’t Ever Again Pt. One)

-November 3rd, 1976– Marvin sees Mendel and reveals the truth (I Have A Family)

-November 3rd, 1976– After therapy, Marvin walks in front of a gay bar and debates going inside. Whizzer sees him and brings him home (Marvin’s Giddy Seizure Pt. Two, I Swear I Won’t Ever Again Pt. Three, Marvin Takes A Victory Shower)

-August 7th, 1977– Marvin is off sleeping with some rando (Your Lips and Me)

-November 5th, 1978– Marvin and Whizzer sleep together again after accidentally getting family photos from him (I Feel Him Slipping Away)

-December 8th, 1978– Marvin and Whizzer ‘get together’. Marvin views their relationship from their first encounter, Whizzer from here, creating the nine/ten month thing (Whizzer Going Down, Another Sleepless Night)

-July 6-7th, 1979– Whizzer and Marvin have sex and Trina comes home, Marvin comes up with the excuse of Whizzer staying over for Shabbat. The whole gang goes to shul, then go back home for dinner sans Mendel (Four Jews In A Room Bitching)

-July 7th, 1979– Trina catches Marvin and Whizzer, (Goodnight No Hard Feelings, A Breakfast Over Sugar, Packin’ Up, Been A Helluva Day)

-????????— In Trousers The Dream

-August 26th, 1979– First dinner together after the separation (A Tight-Knit Family)

-August 31st, 1979– Trina starts seeing Mendel (Love is Blind)

-September 3rd, 1979– Marvin and Whizzer are living together in a new apartment, not the one Marvin stayed with Whizzer in when he first left Trina (Thrill of First Love)

-September 13th- 27th, 1979– Marvin sees Mendel (Marvin At The Psychiatrist)

-October 7th, 1979– Jason being Jason during family dinner, which Whizzer is supposed to be making at the Whizzvin apartment. Trina and Jason go over (Jason brings chess obviously) and Marvin meets them there after work. Whizzer hasn’t made dinner, Trina and Jason go home, Marvin yells at Whizzer for not being home (My Father’s a Homo, Everyone Tells Jason To See A Psychiatrist, This Had Better Come To A Stop)

-October 8th, 1979– Trina and Marvin both go in to Mendel early, Whizzer is in the waiting room (This Had Better Come To A Stop)

-October 9th 1979– Trina cooking dinner for Jason and herself (I’m Breaking Down, Please Come To My House)

-October 15th - November 19th, 1979– Jason’s therapy sessions with Mendel (Jason’s Therapy)

-November 25th, 1979– Mendel has joined family dinners before now, Marvin and Whizzer arrive to eat, they see Mendel propose to Trina (A Marriage Proposal)

-November 25th, 1979– After Mendel leaves that night, Trina ponders a lot on what saying yes would mean (Trina’s Song, March of the Falsettos, Trina’s Song Reprise)

-November 29th, 1979– Marvin goes to Mendel for the final therapy session (A Tight-Knit Family Reprise)

-Buy a dog in here somewhere

-December 14th, 1979– Marvin and Whizzer just had a nice anniversary, then they break up (The Chess Game)

-December 14th, 1979– Whizzer packs up his suitcase and gets a call from Jason– no one has picked him up from school. Whizzer gets him and brings him to Trina and Mendel’s new house which they are currently moving into (Making A Home (first night of Chanukah), The Games I Play)

-December 14th, 1979– Marvin comes home from wherever he went and finds the wedding invitation, he goes to Mendel’s house and blows a fuse (Marvin Hits Trina, I Never Wanted To Love You)

-December 14th, 1979– Father son bonding (Father to Son)

-May 27th (at eight), 1980– Mendel and Trina get married

-March 10th, 1981– Mendel and family yapping because he can (Falsettoland)

-March 19th, 1981– Sunday night, Trina coming to pick Jason up, then everyone starts arguing about the bar mitzvah… as always (Year of the Child)

-April 4th, 1981– Jason’s first baseball game (Miracle of Judaism, The Baseball Game)

-April 14th, 1981– Whole cast doing their things (A Day In Falsettoland)

-April 26th, 1981– Whizzer hasn’t moved in with Marvin yet, but they’re much happier this time around. Of course, everyone is still fighting about the bar mitzvah (Round Tables, Square Tables, Everyone Hates His Parents)

-June 11th, 1981– Whizzer has long since moved in with Marvin, and they are literally sleeping together (What More Can I Say)

-July 5th, 1981– Charlotte reads the CDC and New York Times articles published on July 3rd (Something Bad Is Happening)

-August 24th, 1981– Whizzer and Marvin play racquetball before going to pick up Jason. They never get to Trina’s to pick up Jason (More Racquetball)

-August 24th, 1981– Trina goes to the hospital (Holding To The Ground)

-September 28th, 1981– Everyone comes to visit Whizzer, who is getting worse. They lie to him (Days Like This)

-September 28th, 1981– Jason talks to his mom (Cancelling the Bar Mitzvah)

-September 29th, 1981– In the hospital (Unlikely Lovers)

-October 6th, 1981– In the hospital, Jason is visiting Whizzer while Marvin talks to Charlotte. Neither of them admit they heard the other (Another Miracle of Judaism, Something Bad is Happening Reprise)

-October 16th, 1981– Whizzer knows he can’t keep holding on (You Gotta Die Sometime)

-October 16-17th, 1981– Jason turns 13 and Whizzer dies (Jason’s bar mitzvah, What Would I Do)

-October 18-25th, 1981– Shiva (Falsettoland reprise)

-ALTERNATIVELY October 20th, 1982– Grave unveiling, Marvin is noticeably sicker (Falsettoland reprise)

-December 28th 1983– Marvin dies at 3:09 in the afternoon

[noralia20]

Unsaid... (Brian May)

Words count : 12k

Sum up : You never really talked about your family. But after a traggic event, everything comes back to you and you have no choice but to explode and tell your lover.

London, 1979. The city bustled with energy and a sense of renewal, the air crisp with the promise of winter. The streets were adorned with twinkling lights, shop windows displaying festive cheer, and a gentle snowfall added a touch of magic to the scene. Despite the chill, your heart was warm, brimming with a joy that surpassed anything you had ever known.

You had been dating Brian May, the iconic guitarist of Queen, for the past six years. It felt surreal sometimes, but it was your reality—a beautiful one at that. Brian was the love of your life, a beacon of light in your otherwise tumultuous past. Your relationship was a sanctuary, a place where love, trust, and mutual respect flourished. You shared everything with him, your dreams, your fears, your daily musings. Well, almost everything.

There was one part of your life that remained untouched by Brian's understanding gaze—your past. It was a shadowy place, filled with hurt and memories you had no desire to revisit. You had never spoken of it, and somehow, Brian knew not to pry. He respected your boundaries, and for that, you loved him even more.

This winter was special. Queen had just released "Don't Stop Me Now," a song that quickly climbed the charts and became a new anthem for many. The boys were ecstatic, their hard work paying off in spades. The success called for a celebration, a moment to bask in their achievement and let loose. For once, Brian wasn't consumed by tours, recording sessions, or interviews. He was taking a well-deserved break, choosing to spend his time with friends, family, and most importantly, you.

To celebrate the success of 'Don't Stop Me Now', you all decided to gather at Fred's house for a relaxed evening. The prospect filled you with happiness, especially since it meant spending time with Veronica and Dominique. Perhaps Mary would be there too, given her amicable terms with Freddie. As you stood in front of the mirror, attempting to tame your hair, Brian waited patiently for you, ready to head out.

Winter always held a bittersweet place in your heart. While it brought the joy of the holidays and moments like these with friends, it also reminded you of colder times spent alongside your family. One particular night stood out, etched in your memory like a scar that hadn't quite healed.

You remembered the biting chill creeping through the cracks of the walls, the frost painting intricate patterns on the windowpanes. It was a night filled with tension, the kind that freezes the air and stills the breath. Your family, wrapped in their own turmoil, seemed distant and unreachable. That night, words were left unspoken, wounds left unattended, and you found yourself retreating into a cocoon of solitude, seeking warmth where there was little to be found.

As you adjusted your hair in the mirror, a pang of longing mixed with apprehension washed over you. Winter had a way of stirring up buried emotions, reminding you of what you had left behind and what you had chosen to keep hidden. Yet, in Brian's reassuring presence and the anticipation of a cozy gathering at Fred's, there was a glimmer of hope, a chance to thaw the icy memories that still haunted you.

With a deep breath, you turned away from the mirror, meeting Brian's gaze with a soft smile. He reached out, his hand finding yours, a silent understanding passing between you. Tonight, amidst the warmth of friends and the glow of shared success, you hoped to forge new memories that would overshadow the chill of winters past.

"Hey, ready to go?" Brian asked softly, his smile revealing those endearing little fangs you had come to love. When you first met, he had been insecure about them, but over time, you helped him learn to embrace and accept every part of himself.

You took a few steps closer, leaning up to plant a kiss on his cheek, a gesture that required a bit of effort given his towering height of 1.87 meters. "As always. Let's go before Fred scolds us and we never hear the end of it," you teased lightly.

Brian chuckled quietly, knowing all too well the playful antics of his friend Fred. With a gentle squeeze of your hand, he led the way out the door, the promise of a warm gathering and cherished company awaiting you both at Fred's house.

During the drive, Brian was enthusiastically explaining the intricate process of creating music. His eyes sparkled with passion as he spoke, and you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride for him. Yet, despite your efforts to stay engaged, your mind kept wandering, and then a flashback hit you like a truck.

"Luke, you can't just live off this!" The living room was filled with screams and shouts, a cacophony of frustration and desperation echoing through the small space. It was a cold February night, the kind that seeped into your bones and stayed there. The flickering candlelight cast long, dancing shadows on the walls, turning the scene into a surreal, almost dreamlike tableau.

Your throat burned from the relentless screaming and arguing, the words spilling out like an unstoppable torrent. This wasn't what you had envisioned when you and your brother escaped, hoping for a new life. The promise of a fresh start had seemed so tantalizingly close, yet here you were, caught in the same cycle of conflict.

"You don't understand, Y/N! It's only the beginning. We can make really good money," Luke pleaded, desperation lacing his voice as he stepped into the living room. But you were too blinded by anger to hear the hope in his words, too consumed by your own frustration to recognize his struggle.

"Oh, now I don’t understand? What I do understand is that you just dropped out of university, sold my car, and all of that for what? To buy a stupid guitar because Mr. Luke is in a band now," you mocked, your voice dripping with sarcasm. Luke's face flushed with frustration, his jaw tightening as he struggled to keep his composure.

"Where’s this going, Luke?" you continued, your tone sharp and unyielding. He opened his mouth to respond, but you cut him off. "Let me tell you where this is going. Nowhere. Right into the wall. This… music isn’t bringing you anywhere."

Luke’s fists clenched at his sides, the tension radiating from him as he listened to your harsh words. His eyes flashed with a mix of anger and helplessness, but you were too consumed by your own fury to notice.

"This isn’t what I had pictured when I told you we should run away from the house," you pressed on, your voice trembling with emotion. "We agreed that we would work through it together."

Luke seemed to shrink before you, his shoulders sagging under the weight of your accusations. "And we are—" he began, but you cut him off again.

"No, we're not," you snapped. "What you just did was a selfish move, Luke. It was about you and not us. If it was about us, you wouldn’t have thrown your studies away."

He looked utterly defeated, the spark of hope that had fueled his dreams now dimmed by your relentless onslaught.

"And have you ever cared about what I wanted?" he mumbled from behind you, his voice barely audible but loaded with emotion.

Those words sent you over the edge. Without thinking, you turned around and struck him across the face. Luke stumbled back, his hand flying to his cheek in disbelief. The shock in his eyes mirrored the immediate regret that washed over you.

"Luke, I'm so sor—"

"You're just like Dad," he interrupted, his voice cold and final. The words cut deeper than any physical blow. Grabbing his bag and guitar, he shoved past you.

"Luke, wait!" you cried, desperation seeping into your voice. But he was already heading for the main door.

You ran after him, ignoring the icy bite of the pavement beneath your bare feet. The cold air stung your lungs, but all you could think about was stopping him. Luke was already on his bike, pedaling furiously down the alley.

"No, no, no!" you screamed, pushing yourself to run faster. But he was too quick. As he turned onto the main street, you tripped, falling hard onto the cold ground. Pain shot through your knees and palms, but you barely noticed. Your eyes were locked on Luke as he continued to roll away without looking back.

You lay there, helpless and heartbroken, watching him disappear into the distance. The realization of what you'd done settled over you like a heavy blanket, suffocating and inescapable. Tears blurred your vision as you begged him to stay, your voice hoarse and desperate.

“Y/N... Y/N?” Brian's soothing, soft voice called you back to reality. You blinked, momentarily disoriented, and turned your head to the side. Brian was looking at you with concern from the driver’s seat, the glow of the red light casting a soft hue across his face.

“O-Oh, sorry. What were you saying?” you asked, your voice still a bit shaky as you tried to reorient yourself to the present.

Brian studied you carefully, his eyes searching yours for any sign of what had been troubling you. He repeated himself, speaking slowly and deliberately, “I was saying: I hope the song will work out.”

You forced a smile, pushing the dark memories back into the recesses of your mind. “Of course it will. You guys are legends. I’ve heard the song multiple times, and I’m sure it’ll be timeless.”

Brian smiled at your answer, but the uncertainty in his eyes lingered. He could sense something was off, though he chose not to press the issue. Instead, he reached over and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

Brian knew it happened quite often during this time of the year. You seemed always absent, a part of you perpetually searching for something or someone to appear. When you walked the streets, your eyes would scan the crowds reflexively, as if expecting a familiar face to emerge from the sea of strangers. At shows, backstage, you'd often find yourself studying the audience, your gaze lingering on each person as if waiting for one specific figure to materialize.

There were nights when Brian would find you awake, staring out the living room window with a cold cup of tea forgotten in your hands. Your eyes would wander, filled with a quiet yearning that spoke of an absence you couldn’t quite place. It was as if your very soul was looking, longing for something or someone that wasn’t there.

Brian had noticed this pattern over the years. As winter set in, your demeanor would change, and you became more introspective, more distant. But he never pressed you about it, respecting the boundaries you had set. He understood that there was a part of your past you weren't ready to share, a shadow that came alive with the cold.

He tried to offer comfort in small ways—through a gentle touch, a comforting word, or just being there when you needed him. He wanted to be your anchor, your safe harbor during these turbulent times. And he hoped that one day, you would feel ready to share that hidden part of yourself with him.

As winter melted into spring, Brian watched the change in you. The somber cloud that hung over you during the colder months would lift, and the vibrant, joyful person he loved would reemerge. Life would go on as always, the shadows of the past retreating once more into the background.

Brian finally parked the car in front of Freddie’s house. As you reached for the door handle, his warm hand and long fingers gently stopped you. Confusion flickered across your face as you turned to look at him, only to see a sight you hated: worry etched into his expression. You despised causing concern, especially for someone as dear to your heart as Brian. And then he asked the question that made your heart squeeze even tighter.

"Are you okay?" His voice was gentle, his concern palpable.

The simplicity of those words carried a weight you struggled to bear. Of course, you should be okay. Why wouldn't you be? Because you hadn’t seen your brother in seven years? Because he seemed to despise you, echoing the rift with the rest of your family? Because, in a way, you felt like an orphan now? But no, you couldn’t burden Brian with those thoughts. He deserved your strength, not your vulnerabilities.

You forced a small smile, hoping it would reassure him. "Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry," you replied, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. "The weather tires me lately," you added as an excuse, hoping to deflect his concern.

Brian took a moment to study you with his hazel eyes, his gaze lingering on your face as you attempted to reach for the door handle again. The concern in his expression was evident, and it made your breath catch in your throat. You knew he could sense when something was amiss, and the thought of burdening him with your inner turmoil weighed heavily on you.

"But... would you tell me if you weren't?" he asked quietly, his voice gentle but tinged with worry.

The question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken implications. Truth be told, you knew you wouldn't tell him. Not because you didn't trust him—Brian was indeed the person you trusted most—but because you couldn't bear to see the hurt and helplessness in his eyes. It was easier to pretend everything was fine, to shield him from your own pain.

"Of course I would," you replied softly, mustering a smile that felt brittle on your lips. "You're the person I trust most."

It wasn't a complete lie. You did trust Brian with your heart, but there were depths within you that even he hadn't fully explored. There were wounds you carried silently, scars from a past that still haunted you. And while Brian had seen glimpses of your struggles, you couldn't bring yourself to burden him with the full weight of your pain.

"Let's go?" you suggested, hoping to shift the focus away from the tension that hung between you.

Brian nodded slowly, releasing your hand with a reluctant squeeze. His eyes held a mix of understanding and lingering concern, but he respected your choice not to delve deeper. Together, you walked towards Freddie’s house, the soft glow of warmth and laughter beckoning from within.

You looked at Brian as he paused at the door, a loving smile spreading across his face before he rang the bell. As you stood beside him, he draped an arm around your waist, drawing you close with a gentle pull. Your heart fluttered at his touch, and you couldn't help but suppress a giddy smile as you looked up at him.

Brian returned your gaze with warmth and affection, his hazel eyes sparkling. Leaning in, he kissed you sweetly, the moment filled with tenderness and a shared intimacy. Just as the kiss deepened, the door swung open, revealing a grinning Freddie.

You both pulled apart abruptly, caught in a moment that felt both exhilarating and slightly embarrassing. Freddie’s teasing raised eyebrow only added to the amusement of the situation. "Well, hello to you too, darlings," Freddie greeted with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, clearly enjoying the sight before him.

You felt your cheeks warm with a blush, feeling momentarily like a teenager caught in a secret moment. Quickly regaining your composure, you took a step forward and greeted Freddie properly. "Hello, Freddie," you said with a smile, trying to ignore the lingering warmth of Brian's touch and the playful glint in Freddie's eyes.

Freddie hugged you back warmly, his voice low as he whispered teasingly in your ear. "If you two really can't keep your hands off each other, remember I have a spare room upstairs. Just don't be too loud for the kids."

Your eyes widened in surprise, and your cheeks flushed crimson, a blush that could rival a traffic signal. You turned to Freddie, pretending to be outraged, and playfully hit his arm. "Freddie!" you exclaimed in mock indignation, though the playful grin tugged at your lips.

Brian, standing beside you, looked between you and Freddie with a mixture of confusion and amusement. He chuckled softly, clearly catching on to the good-natured banter between you and Freddie.

"Oh, but you must be freezing! Come on in!" Freddie said warmly, guiding you both inside.

The immediate sounds of laughter greeted your ears, a lively mix of adults and children enjoying themselves. You shrugged off your coat, hanging it neatly by the door before following Freddie towards the living room.

You hadn’t even had a chance to introduce yourself properly before a small figure came running over to hug your legs. It was Robert, John and Veronica’s lively three-year-old son. Not far behind him toddled Michael, who had just turned one. The sight of their innocent joy brought an immediate smile to your face.

"Hey, bud! It's nice to see you too!" you exclaimed warmly, kneeling down to greet Robert. He squealed with delight and threw his arms around you in a tight hug. You laughed, feeling Brian’s amused gaze on you as he watched the interaction.

Brian joined in the fun, bending down to Robert's level. "Hey, Rob, how's it going?" he asked with a grin.

Robert glanced up at Brian, his face lighting up. "Uncle Fred was ranting that you two were always late," he declared with all the seriousness a three-year-old could muster.

You chuckled at Freddie’s antics, knowing exactly the kind of playful teasing he was capable of. "Robert Deacon! You little traitor," Freddie boomed in a mock deep voice, tickling the boy’s sides playfully.

Robert giggled uncontrollably, squirming in Freddie’s grasp. The room filled with laughter, the playful banter easing any lingering tension.

"You have quite the spy network here, Freddie," you teased, standing up and brushing off your knees. Freddie grinned mischievously. "Always good to have informants," he quipped, earning a playful swat on the arm from Brian.

Together, you and Brian finally made your way over to the group seated on the couches. Mary was already there, chatting animatedly with John and Veronica, who were nestled comfortably with their children nearby. The Deacons were also present, leaving only Dominique and Roger yet to arrive.

"I see we're not the only ones late," Brian remarked, drawing the attention of your friends. They greeted you warmly, and you ushered Veronica to sit back down, considering she was now five months pregnant with baby number three.

In the background, the TV played the news quietly, a mundane backdrop to the lively gathering. John, ever the curious one, leaned forward slightly and asked with a hint of teasing, "What took you guys so long?"

Brian glanced at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes before answering, "Well, Y/N here wasn't satisfied with her hair."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "Says you! You spent an hour in the bathroom taming yours, Mister May," you retorted, your tone teasing and light-hearted.

Laughter rippled through the room at your banter, the familiar sound of friends enjoying each other’s company filling the air. The tension from earlier melted away, replaced by the warmth of shared jokes and affectionate teasing.

Mary leaned forward with a smile, pouring Brian a glass of wine and teasingly adding, "Someone's got to keep up appearances." Brian mockingly feigned offense, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Guilty as charged," he admitted with a grin, earning another round of chuckles from the group.

As you all chatted and caught up, the atmosphere was relaxed and filled with camaraderie. Finally, Roger and Dominique arrived, their presence adding to the lively energy of the gathering. Roger, ever the epitome of cool in his leather jacket and sunglasses, grinned as he greeted everyone.

Roger's casual demeanor earned him a playful scolding from Freddie about their tardiness, to which Roger responded with a nonchalant shrug and a wink.

With everyone now assembled, the dynamics of the group fell into place seamlessly. Roger and Freddie bantered back and forth, their teasing laced with fondness and familiarity. Brian played the role of the calm mediator, injecting humor when needed to diffuse any escalating jokes. John observed the interactions with a quiet amusement, occasionally chiming in with his own dry wit.

Amidst the cheerful chaos, Dominique caught your eye and gestured discreetly towards the garden. Understanding her silent invitation, you quietly excused yourself along with Mary, Veronica, and Dominique, slipping out of the lively room and into the calm of the garden.

Outside, the air was crisp and cool, a refreshing contrast to the warmth of the crowded room. You found a secluded corner of the garden, away from prying eyes and eavesdropping ears. Surrounded by the soft glow of garden lights, you exchanged knowing glances with the other women.

In the peaceful solitude of the garden, surrounded by the quiet rustling of leaves and the gentle glow of garden lights, the conversation turned to more personal matters. Mary's voice carried genuine concern as she asked, "So, what's on your mind?"

Veronica smiled warmly, her hand tenderly resting on her growing belly as she sighed softly. "I just needed a moment away from the noise," she admitted, her expression softening with a hint of relief. "And to catch up with you all."

Dominique nodded in agreement, her thoughtful gaze scanning the garden as she spoke quietly. "It's good to have these moments," she reflected. "To remind ourselves of what's important."

You felt a surge of gratitude for these women, for their understanding and unwavering support in both the joyful and challenging moments of life. As you exhaled into the chilly night air, you added, "I think it's important for the boys. They're constantly together. But they also have us, and we're all in this together, you know."

Mary and Dominique nodded in understanding, their expressions reflecting solidarity and empathy.

Turning her attention to Veronica, Mary gently asked, "So, Veronica, are you feeling alright?" Her eyes drifted to Veronica's hand brushing over her bump.

Veronica's face lit up with a radiant smile. "Never been better," she replied warmly. "I hope it's a girl. John would love a girl, though he would never admit it, frankly."

You couldn't help but smile at the thought. "John would be such a daddy's girl," Dominique added with a chuckle, imagining the stoic John softened by the love of a daughter.

As the conversation continued, you felt a sense of peace settle over you. Here, in the quiet embrace of friendship and shared moments, surrounded by the supportive presence of these remarkable women, you knew that whatever the future held, you would face it together.

Veronica's playful comment about weddings and babies nudged the conversation into more personal territory. She winked at Dominique and you, her warmth and teasing nature filling the air.

"You know Rog, he loves freedom too much for now. But trust me, I'm working on it," Veronica added with a knowing smile.

You chuckled nervously, feeling a slight tension knotting in your stomach. The idea of starting a family had always been a complicated topic for you, especially given your own tumultuous past. What if Brian wanted children one day? Could you give him that future he might dream of, or would your uncertainties hold you both back?

"Me?" you replied, forcing a smile. "You know me, Veronica. I can't even picture what I'm going to eat for dinner. So, I'll just let the future come when it's ready."

Your attempt at humor masked the deeper concerns swirling inside you. Veronica's next question, however, cut through the light-hearted banter and struck a chord.

"But are you ready for the commitment, Y/N? Because I see how Brian looks at you. It's as serious as it was years ago," Veronica pressed gently, her tone thoughtful and sincere.

You glanced over at Brian, who was engrossed in conversation with Roger and John, his expression animated and relaxed. The love and adoration in his eyes were unmistakable, and a warmth spread through your chest at the sight of him.

"I... I think so," you replied softly, your voice wavering slightly. "Brian means everything to me, Veronica. I just... I want to make sure I can give him everything he deserves." Dominique placed a comforting hand on your arm, her gaze filled with understanding. "Y/N, it's okay to have doubts. It's okay to take your time," she reassured you gently.

Mary nodded in agreement, her voice kind but firm. "Just remember, whatever path you choose, we're all here for you. Brian loves you, and that's what matters." Veronica smiled warmly, her eyes reflecting unwavering support. "You'll figure it out, Y/N. And when you do, we'll be here to celebrate with you."

After a while of chatting in the garden, you all returned inside the house, only to find that the boys were no longer in the living room. Instead, the sound of their voices drifted from the kitchen. Curious, you and the other women exchanged glances and quietly followed the sound.

As you approached the kitchen, you could hear snippets of their conversation. "What about Bri, meet the family to finally ask her hand?" Roger's voice came through clearly, causing you all to freeze in place just outside the doorway. Fortunately, none of you had entered the room yet, and it seemed the boys hadn't noticed your arrival either.

"What an ungraceful way to speak of a proposal," Freddie remarked with a hint of mock seriousness. Brian hadn't spoken yet, but his silence spoke volumes despite his usual easygoing nature. You felt a flutter of nervousness mixed with excitement in your chest.

"Come on, Bri, don't be shy. We all know how much you love her. You were already planning on marrying her before you even asked her out," John reassured Brian, his voice gentle and supportive.

Inside, your heart skipped a beat. You leaned in slightly, trying to catch every word, your emotions swirling with a mixture of surprise and joy. It was both overwhelming and heartwarming to hear them discussing such a significant step.

Mary glanced at you with a knowing smile, her eyes filled with understanding and encouragement. Dominique squeezed your hand gently, silently conveying her support.

Veronica leaned closer, her voice barely above a whisper as she murmured, "Looks like our boys are planning something big." You nodded slowly, unable to tear your gaze away from the kitchen door.

As you stood outside the kitchen, listening to Brian's heartfelt words about your relationship and the hurdles he faced, your emotions threatened to overwhelm you. His voice, tinged with a mix of longing and frustration, cut through you like a knife. You had carefully guarded the painful memories of your past, shielding them from Brian and everyone else. The thought that your reluctance to open up was causing him such anguish tore at your heart.

"I know I do, but like Rog said, I want to meet her family and she’s so closed to the subject," Brian confessed, his voice laden with vulnerability. You felt a pang of guilt knowing that your avoidance of discussing your family history had put him in this position.

"Still?" Roger's surprised exclamation echoed in the kitchen. It dawned on you that Brian had likely confided in his friends about his desire to take the next step in your relationship, a step that involved meeting your family.

"I mean, I know she’s uncomfortable talking about it. But I... I thought that after so many years, she would open up," Brian continued, his disappointment palpable in his tone. The weight of his words settled heavily on your shoulders, filling you with a profound sense of remorse.

"That hurts like shit, you know? It’s like she’s not on the same page as me. That makes me doubt when I should propose," Brian admitted, his words piercing straight to your core. The realization that your silence was causing Brian pain left you feeling utterly helpless.

The girls exchanged apologetic glances, understanding the depth of your turmoil. Mary placed a comforting hand on your arm, her eyes filled with sympathy. Dominique squeezed your hand gently, offering silent support.

Inside the kitchen, the conversation continued, oblivious to the turmoil it had caused you. You struggled to find the right words, the knot in your throat constricting your ability to respond. How could you explain the scars of your past, the reasons behind your reluctance, without reopening old wounds?

In that moment, surrounded by the loving concern of your friends and the distant murmur of Brian's conflicted thoughts, you felt torn apart. You wanted nothing more than to ease Brian's pain, to reassure him of your love and commitment. Yet, the fear of reliving past traumas held you back, trapping you in a cycle of silence and guilt.

The girls understood you just wanted the moment to end as you stared into space. So Dominique faked a laugh and entered with Veronica playing along as if they had heard nothing from before. The weight of Brian's words lingered heavily in your mind as you re-entered the kitchen with Mary's supportive squeeze. Dominique and Veronica seamlessly shifted the conversation, their easy banter providing a welcome distraction from the emotional turmoil you were grappling with.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself before approaching Brian. Despite wanting to show affection, you kept a safe distance, planting a quick kiss on his cheek. His confusion was evident, but he played along, perhaps sensing your need for space.

As the group chatted, your thoughts continued to drift back to the conversation you overheard earlier. The pain of your family's betrayal and the scars it left were raw and unyielding. You couldn't help but feel like your trauma was casting a shadow over your present happiness, threatening to rob you of the love and joy you found with Brian.

Your brother's face flashed in your mind once more. You wondered how he was doing, whether he had found peace or was still haunted by the past like you were. The longing to reconcile, to apologize and seek forgiveness, gnawed at your heart. If only you could have one more chance to make things right, to hold him close and say the words you never had the courage to say before.

Lost in your thoughts, you struggled to stay present in the conversation. Brian's concerned gaze occasionally flickered towards you, his expression reflecting his confusion and concern. You knew he sensed something was amiss, but you couldn't find the words to explain the storm raging inside you.

The kitchen buzzed with laughter and conversation, but for you, it felt like you were drowning in a sea of unresolved emotions and regrets. You wanted to break free from the grip of your past, to heal and move forward with Brian by your side. But the wounds were deep, and the fear of confronting them seemed insurmountable.

Brian's concerned touch on your hand brought you back from the tumultuous thoughts that had been plaguing you. With effort, you managed to muster a half-smile and gently squeeze his hand in reassurance before refocusing on the light-hearted debate about the gender of the future Deacon.

As the evening progressed, you found yourself in the living room once more, the comfortable ambiance and the gentle buzz of champagne providing a temporary respite from your inner turmoil. You sipped on your second glass, enjoying the warmth it brought to your head without crossing the line into intoxication.

Despite the jovial atmosphere around you, the conversation from earlier continued to replay in your mind like a broken record. The weight of Brian's unspoken concerns and your own unresolved emotions pressed down on you, urging you to seek solace in a familiar but unwise habit.

Excusing yourself quietly, you slipped outside onto the porch, craving the solitary comfort of a cigarette. You had fought hard to overcome this vice, but tonight, the familiar ritual offered a brief escape from the complexities of your emotions. Wrapped in your coat against the winter chill, you lit up, inhaling deeply as wisps of smoke curled into the cold night air.

The rhythmic rise and fall of your breaths matched the soft glow of the cigarette's ember, a fleeting moment of calm amidst the storm raging inside you. Each exhale carried with it a mix of regret and relief, the nicotine temporarily soothing the ache in your chest.

As you stood there, gazing out into the quiet night, you felt a pang of guilt for indulging in something you had worked so hard to leave behind. Yet, part of you knew that tonight was different, that sometimes coping meant returning to old comforts, if only for a fleeting moment.

The porch offered a sanctuary of solitude, a space where you could gather your thoughts away from the prying eyes and well-meaning concerns of your friends. The cigarette burned down slowly between your fingers, each passing moment bringing a sense of clarity and a renewed determination to face the challenges ahead.

"I though you wanted to quit." As Brian joined you on the porch, his presence brought a mix of comfort and tension. You sensed his disapproval as he mentioned your effort to quit smoking, a habit he had always disliked but never openly criticized. His concern for your well-being was evident in his voice, though tempered with an understanding that tonight was different.

"Yeah, well, I was feeling like letting go for tonight," you responded defensively, taking a seat on the porch stairs. The soft glow of the cigarette illuminated the space between you, casting shadows that mirrored the conflict within.

Brian sat beside you, his gaze fixed on your profile as you avoided meeting his eyes. His concern deepened as he observed your distant demeanor throughout the evening, a stark contrast to your usual closeness.

"What's been up with you all night? You seem distant with me. It's unlike you," Brian gently probed, his voice carrying a note of hurt beneath the worry. The weight of his words struck a nerve, reminding you of the emotional distance you had inadvertently created.

You scoffed bitterly, your gaze drifting to the night sky that seemed devoid of stars. "Well, a lot of things are unlike me since you don't seem to know me," you retorted, the words escaping before you could soften their impact. The bitterness in your tone cut through the chilly air, leaving an uncomfortable silence in its wake.

Brian's expression shifted from concern to confusion, then to a trace of hurt as your words sank in. The accusation in your statement caught him off guard, and a frown creased his features. "What do you mean by that?" he asked softly, his voice tinged with a mixture of disbelief and concern.

You let out a frustrated huff, feeling the weight of the evening's revelations and the unresolved tension pressing down on you. "You should know," you replied, your voice betraying a hint of vulnerability beneath the bitterness. "After all, we're not on the same page."

His eyes widened in realization, a flicker of defensiveness coloring his tone. "You heard earlier. You eavesdropped on our conversation?" Brian's voice held a note of accusation, his own hurt surfacing as he processed the breach of privacy.

The air between you grew heavy with unspoken words and unaddressed emotions. You knew you had crossed a line, yet the words had spilled out in a moment of raw emotion and frustration.

The tension between you and Brian escalated quickly as the weight of unspoken words hung heavily in the air. His initial shock at your revelation about overhearing their conversation morphed into frustration, evident in the way he stood tall before you, his frustration palpable.

"Oh hush, we did not. We just arrived at the exact moment you said you weren’t sure about ever asking me to marry you," you countered, your voice tinged with a mix of defiance and hurt. Snuffing out the cigarette, you tossed it aside, trying to rein in your emotions as Brian spoke of wanting to meet your family properly before proposing."Just because I haven’t met your family. I want to do things properly and ask for your hand," Brian insisted, his tone a blend of determination and exasperation.You shook your head adamantly, cutting him off before he could delve further into a topic that struck a raw nerve.

"Stop right there. I don’t want to talk about it," you stated firmly, your eyes meeting his with a mixture of defiance and vulnerability.Brian, frustrated and at his wit's end, rose to his full height, towering over you. "You’re always so closed about that subject. For fuck’s sake, y/n, I’m your boyfriend! Not a stranger!" His voice carried a note of pleading, laced with the sting of feeling shut out from a part of your life.Feeling the heat of the argument rising within you, you stood your ground, matching his intensity with your own. "I fucking know that! But maybe if you considered my feelings, then you would understand that topic is sensitive," you shot back, your voice rising with each word. Brian raised his hands in frustration, his usually composed demeanor showing cracks under the weight of the unresolved issue. His hair danced in the wind, a visual echo of the storm brewing between you. "I understand, I always try to understand. But I can’t walk on eggshells every time I speak about your family if you don’t at least explain why!" His words were a plea for clarity, a plea to bridge the gap that had widened between you over the years.

“Well I don’t want to explain because I don’t trust you and myself.” The weight of your words hung heavy in the air, leaving a palpable tension between you and Brian. The hurt that flashed across his face cut deep, a stark reminder of the damage your unguarded words had caused. You immediately regretted pushing him away with such harsh honesty, knowing you had crossed a line from which there was no easy return.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have…" you began, but Brian had already turned away, his silence a clear indication that he needed space. His terse suggestion to go back inside echoed in your ears, leaving you to follow him quietly, your head bowed with remorse.

As you reentered the house, the atmosphere felt strained, the group's lingering glances and hushed tones revealing their awareness of the argument. Brian settled into a seat, choosing a spot as far from you as possible, his body language closed off and distant. It was clear he needed time to process, and perhaps to heal from the wounds your words had inflicted.

Feeling the weight of guilt and regret, you tried to refocus on the conversation swirling around you, attempting to engage despite the emotional turmoil brewing inside. The effort felt futile, each attempt at normalcy overshadowed by the tension that hung in the air.

Just as you struggled to find your footing amidst the group, Robert approached you with a bright smile, clutching one of his favorite toys. His resemblance to John in that moment melted some of the heaviness in your heart. His innocent joy and the simplicity of his gesture offered a brief respite from the complex emotions swirling around you.

You knelt down to his level, returning his smile with a gentleness that belied the turmoil within. "Hey buddy, what have you got there?" you asked, allowing yourself to be momentarily distracted by the warmth and innocence of the child's presence.

Robert eagerly showed you his toy, his enthusiasm contagious even in the midst of the strained atmosphere. For a fleeting moment, you set aside the weight of the argument and the uncertainty that loomed over your relationship with Brian. Instead, you focused on the simple joy of connecting with a child who knew nothing of adult complexities.

As Brian watched you laughing with Robert, unaware of his gaze, John caught his friend's contemplative expression. Leaning closer, he offered a comforting perspective on the complexities of love and the weight of unresolved pasts.

"Love and the past are complicated. But that doesn’t make them worth less in our eyes," John reassured Brian, his voice carrying the wisdom of someone who had weathered his own storms. "One day she’ll come around when you least expect it."

Brian listened intently, absorbing John's words with a mix of hope and uncertainty. "But what should I do then?" he asked, his voice tinged with a hint of desperation.

John shrugged gently, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Love her, as simple as it seems unreal. Just be patient, everything will be fine."

Brian nodded thoughtfully, his gaze alternating between John's reassuring presence and you, still engrossed in playful banter with Robert. Despite the turmoil of emotions swirling within him, Brian found a measure of solace in John's words. He understood that rushing or forcing the issue would only push you further away. Instead, he resolved to continue loving you, giving you the time and space you needed to confront your past on your own terms.

Meanwhile, Freddie interrupted the poignant moment by enlisting Roger to fetch a bottle of champagne from the kitchen. Roger, ever the reluctant participant in domestic tasks, grumbled under his breath but complied nonetheless. With a dramatic roll of his eyes, he headed off to locate the requested bottle, muttering about being the group's designated errand boy.

Robert's excitement over the fire truck on TV momentarily distracted you from the tense atmosphere in the room. Smiling at him, you pointed at the screen and remarked, "Yeah bud, just like your toy." His eyes widened with fascination as he watched the flashing lights, oblivious to the weight of the conversation that had just transpired.

Turning your attention back to the television, you noticed everyone in the room had also become captivated by the breaking news. John reached for the remote and increased the volume, the urgency in the reporter's voice drawing everyone's attention.

"...it seems to be one of the most violent episodes that has happened in years in London," the reporter's voice echoed through the room. "The night took a bitter turn for those students who only came to enjoy a gig at the Orpheum in west London. Two hundred of them were here to watch a few bands but mostly one: Sunset Curve."

The mention of the band's name sent an unexpected pang through your heart. Sunset Curve — a name you hadn't heard in years, yet it carried a weight of memories and emotions you had long tried to bury. Brian noticed the change in your demeanor, his concern evident as he glanced at you from across the room.

As the news report unfolded with chilling details, your friends murmured in disbelief, their voices a backdrop to the tragic events described. The room filled with a heavy silence as the reporter's words pierced through the air, each sentence delivering a devastating blow.

“On these images you can see the remnants of the Orpheum after that tragic event. Around 9pm, as the band was in the middle of their song, 24-year-old Chriss Klain entered the bar and started to shoot aimlessly though the crowd.”

The words hung in the air like a shroud of despair, the gravity of the situation sinking in deeper with each passing moment. Your heart pounded in your chest as the reporter continued, each word dragging you further into a nightmare you desperately wished wasn't real.

“It’s to be trusted that the man was highly intoxicated. A few people were hurt and the police counts three dead already. Two young ladies from the crowd and the lead guitarist of the band: Luke Patterson.”

The world seemed to come to a standstill as the name echoed in your mind — Luke Patterson. Your brother. The lead guitarist of Sunset Curve. It felt unreal, a cruel twist of fate that shattered everything you thought you knew.

In that moment, time ceased to exist. Your thoughts whirled, grappling with the sudden and incomprehensible loss. You clung to a desperate hope that it was all a mistake, a terrible mix-up that would soon be corrected. But as images of your brother flashed on the screen, reality crashed down around you like a tidal wave.

Everything you had built, everything you hoped for, crumbled in an instant. The pain was raw, engulfing you in a sea of disbelief and sorrow. Your mind struggled to process the magnitude of what had just been revealed, unable to reconcile the vibrant memories of your brother with the horrific news unfolding before you.

As the reporter's voice continued, detailing Luke's role in the band and the tragic loss, your mind swirled with memories and regrets. The ache in your chest intensified, a physical manifestation of the pain that gripped your heart. Around you, the group began to discuss the horrific event, their voices distant and muted against the overwhelming weight of your grief.

"It was a horrific event," someone murmured, their words barely registering as the reality of Luke's absence settled like a heavy fog. The thought that you would never again have the chance to apologize, to reconcile with your brother, tore at your soul. He was gone, and with him went any hope of healing the wounds of the past.

Images of Luke flashed through your mind — his infectious laughter, his mischievous grin, the way he always looked up to you despite everything. He had been your baby brother, someone you were supposed to protect, yet your own pain and anger had driven a wedge between you. Now, those wounds felt irreparable, a gaping chasm that stretched beyond reach.

"The young man, only 26, was the writer and leader of the band. He wrote their most famous hit: 'Unsaid N/n,'" the reporter's voice continued, each word tightening the knot in your throat. "N/n" — the nickname Luke had given you when he was just a toddler, a playful twist on your name that had stuck throughout the years. The mention of the song he had penned brought forth a flood of memories, memories you struggled to contain.

Suddenly, the familiar melody of "Unsaid N/n" filled the room, its haunting notes weaving through the air. It was his creation, his voice immortalized in the music that now surrounded you.

Tears streamed down your cheeks uncontrollably as the music played, each note a painful reminder of the loss you couldn't comprehend. The melody that once brought joy and comfort now echoed with grief and shattered dreams. In that moment, the weight of your guilt and sorrow overwhelmed you, paralyzing your senses and drowning you in a sea of regret.

As the room buzzed with discussions and condolences, you felt detached, as if trapped in a nightmare from which you couldn't wake. The memories of Luke flooded your mind — his laughter, his antics, the moments shared and the moments lost. He was supposed to be here, alive and well, not a name on a news report, not a haunting melody on a television screen.

Through tear-blurred vision, you saw Robert trying to get your attention, his innocent voice lost in the cacophony of emotions crashing within you. Part of you wanted to respond, to comfort the child who looked up to you, but another part couldn't bear to face the pain any longer.

"No, it's not true," you whispered to yourself, the words barely audible amidst the chaos in your mind. "He's not gone. He can't be gone." Denial and disbelief clawed at your heart, refusing to accept the harsh reality that Luke was no longer with you.

With trembling steps, you rose from your seat, the weight of guilt and failure heavy on your shoulders. Every fiber of your being screamed for escape, for solitude away from the suffocating grief that surrounded you. You couldn't bear to hear his voice, his music, not when it only amplified the emptiness in your soul.

You made your way towards the exit, your movements mechanical, driven by an overwhelming need to flee. The room blurred around you as tears continued to fall, your chest tight with anguish and regret. Each step away from the sorrowful symphony playing on the television was a step towards numbness, towards a darkness where the pain might dull, if only for a moment.

In that moment of shattered despair, you felt like a failure in every role you cherished — as a person, as a lover, as a big sister. Guilt gnawed at your conscience, accusing you of failing Luke when he needed you most. The ache in your heart was unbearable, the void left by his absence echoing with the memories of what could have been.

As you moved towards the exit, your vision blurred with tears and your mind clouded with grief. The weight of the tragedy and the guilt of unresolved conflicts with Luke bore down on you like a heavy shroud. Each step felt like an eternity, a desperate attempt to escape the haunting melody that played on the television.

Just as you reached the threshold, Roger's voice cut through the haze surrounding you. His concerned tone pierced through the din of the room, but it was as though his words were underwater, distant and muffled. He stood in your path, blocking the way out, his eyes searching yours for any sign of comprehension.

"Y/n, are you okay?" His voice reverberated in your ears, but it struggled to penetrate the fog that enveloped your thoughts. The bottle of champagne he had found lay forgotten on the side as he cautiously reached out towards you, sensing your unstable state.

You tried to respond, to reassure him that you were fine, but your body betrayed you. Waves of dizziness washed over you, the room spinning relentlessly. Roger's concerned face appeared doubled, and the lights overhead seemed unbearably bright, adding to your disorientation.

Your breathing grew ragged, shallow gasps escaping your lips as your legs wavered beneath you. It felt as though you were on a boat in a tumultuous sea, unable to find your footing. The voices around you melded into a distant hum, indistinct and surreal.

Then, as if in slow motion, you began to sway uncontrollably. Your knees buckled, and you started to fall to the side, towards the unforgiving floor. Panic surged through you, but before you could hit the ground, Roger's reflexes kicked in. He moved swiftly, his strong arms catching the side of your head, preventing a harsh impact.

"Y/n!" His voice was urgent now, filled with alarm as he held you steady. The room seemed to tilt around you, sounds echoing strangely in your ears. You struggled to focus, to grasp onto any semblance of stability amidst the chaos swirling within you.

Roger's voice sounded distant as if coming from the end of a tunnel. The room spun around you, colors blending into a dizzying whirlpool of confusion and anguish. Your body felt weightless and heavy at the same time, limbs unresponsive as if disconnected from your will. The world tilted dangerously, threatening to plunge you into darkness.

The last thing you registered before slipping into unconsciousness was the sound of Roger's panicked voice calling your name, his hands catching you just in time to prevent a harsh impact with the ground. His urgency echoed in your ears as your vision blurred and faded, swallowed by the overwhelming tide of emotions and the crushing weight of grief.

In that fleeting moment between awareness and oblivion, you felt a strange sense of relief. Relief from the pain, relief from the suffocating sorrow that had gripped your heart moments ago. It was a fleeting respite from the unbearable truth of Luke's absence, a moment of fleeting peace in the tumultuous storm of your emotions.

As darkness claimed you, the world slipped away, leaving behind a void where thoughts and memories swirled like distant echoes. The echoes of Luke's laughter, of shared moments and unspoken words, lingered in the recesses of your mind, haunting yet comforting in their familiarity.

And as you drifted into unconsciousness, a single thought lingered — a hope, fragile and flickering, that somewhere beyond the veil of darkness, Luke's spirit still lingered, watching over you with the love and warmth that transcended life and death.

The room fell silent, all eyes now on the unfolding scene. Concern etched deeply into Brian's features as he rushed to your side, followed closely by Mary and Veronica. Dominique hovered nearby, her hands clasped in worry as she exchanged a frantic glance with Freddie. Roger's grip was steady as he held you upright, his voice a mix of urgency and reassurance. "Stay with me, Y/n. Can you hear me?" His words were urgent yet gentle, trying to anchor you in the midst of your overwhelming turmoil. You weren’t conscious anymore, your body all limp in his hold which made Brian’s heart twitch in panic. Through the haze, Brian's voice cut through, filled with concern and determination. "Let's get her to the couch," he suggested, his hands moving to support you alongside Roger's. Together, they guided you back into the living room, where they eased you gently onto the couch amidst a flurry of worried murmurs.

Mary knelt beside you, her touch light yet comforting as she checked on you. "She looks in shock, lift her legs up," she instructed softly, her voice a soothing anchor in the chaos. Veronica hovered nearby, her hand resting protectively on her belly as she exchanged worried glances with the others. Freddie appeared with a glass of water, which Brian held and splashed some on your face. "Wake up, my love," he urged gently, his hazel eyes searching yours with deep concern. Hoping the cool water would bring you back and provide a fleeting sense of clarity.

The atmosphere was thick with tension as everyone watched Brian's increasingly frantic attempts to rouse you. He shook you more violently, his voice growing desperate. "Y/n, please wake up. You're scaring me," he implored, his hands trembling as he tried to elicit any response from your unresponsive body.

John knelt beside you, checking your pulse and breathing. "She's breathing fine," he reassured, though the calmness in his voice couldn't mask the underlying worry. Despite this, Brian's panic only deepened, his calls becoming more urgent. "Y/n, please, you need to wake up," he repeated, his voice cracking with fear and desperation.

Freddie, unable to bear the sight any longer, sprang into action. "I'll go call an ambulance," he announced, his tone decisive as he hurried out of the room to get his phone. The urgency in his steps mirrored the collective anxiety gripping everyone present.

Mary continued to hold your hand, her grip firm yet gentle. "Come on, Y/n, we're here. You can do this," she whispered softly, trying to provide comfort and hope in the midst of the growing panic.

Veronica and Dominique exchanged worried glances, their concern palpable. Roger stood close by, ready to assist in any way he could, his usual confident demeanor replaced by a somber seriousness.

Brian's heart pounded as he held onto you, willing you to wake up with every fiber of his being. The moments stretched into an agonizing eternity, each second filled with the silent prayers and hopes of your friends surrounding you.

Just as Freddie was about to exit the room, Brian spoke up in a cracked voice. "Come on, Y/n," Brian whispered, his voice breaking. "Come back to me, please." His eyes never left your face, searching for any flicker of consciousness. The worry etched into his features was mirrored by everyone in the room, each silently praying for your return to awareness.

Finally, there was a faint stir. Your eyelids fluttered slightly, and a soft moan escaped your lips. The room collectively held its breath, the tiny movement a beacon of hope amidst the darkness. "That's it," Brian encouraged, his voice trembling with relief and continued worry. "Come on, you can do it." Slowly, your eyes began to open, the world coming back into focus. The faces around you were a blur of concern and relief, their voices blending into a chorus of reassurances and gentle urgings. Mary squeezed your hand gently, her eyes brimming with tears of relief. Veronica exhaled deeply, her hand resting on her belly, while Roger let out a small, shaky laugh of relief. As you blinked and looked around, Brian's tear-filled eyes met yours, and he let out a shaky breath. "Thank God," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "You're okay."

Brian's hands cradled your face gently, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had started to fall from your eyes. "You scared me," he admitted softly, his voice raw with emotion. "I thought I lost you." His eyes were filled with a depth of concern and love that only added to the weight of the moment.

Freddie, standing just behind Brian, exhaled deeply and gave a small nod, his usual flamboyance replaced with a rare look of genuine concern. "Welcome back, darling," he said softly, his voice unusually gentle.

John, still kneeling beside you, gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You gave us quite a scare," he said, his tone only being sincerity.

The room, which had been filled with tension and worry, now began to relax, the collective sigh of relief almost tangible. The atmosphere started to lighten as your friends saw signs of your recovery. However, as the moments passed, the earlier events that had driven you to the edge started to resurface in your mind, bringing back a flood of memories and emotions.

Without warning, you violently sat up, provoking a concert of disapproving sounds from everyone around you. "Whoa, take it easy!" Roger exclaimed, his hands hovering near you, ready to steady you if needed.

Brian immediately tried to push you back down gently, his concern evident in his every move. "You need to rest," he urged, his voice a mix of worry and insistence.

But you swatted his hands away, your own hands trembling as you spoke. "Please don’t touch me—" The words got stuck in your throat, choked off by the sobs that were beginning to rise. Everything came back all at once: the news report, the image of your brother, the unbearable grief and guilt. It was as if a dam had broken inside you, releasing a torrent of emotions too powerful to contain.

The room was filled with an overwhelming sense of concern as they watched you spiral into a panic attack. Your breaths came in rapid, shallow gasps, and your eyes darted around the room as if searching for an escape from the suffocating fear.

Brian, noticing the signs of your escalating panic, reached out once more, his hands trembling slightly. "Y/n, look at me," he said, his voice a mixture of urgency and tenderness. "Focus on my voice. You're safe here. Just breathe with me, okay? In and out, nice and slow."

Freddie, sensing the gravity of the situation, crouched down beside you, his usually flamboyant demeanor replaced with a calm, grounding presence. "Darling, we're all here for you," he said softly. "Just listen to Brian and breathe. You've got this."

Roger, still kneeling by your side, gently placed his hand on your shoulder, offering a steady anchor in the storm of your emotions. "You're not alone," he reassured you, his voice steady. "We're right here with you."

Mary, Veronica, and Dominique exchanged worried glances, their eyes reflecting the shared concern of the group. They moved a bit closer, forming a protective circle around you, their presence a silent yet powerful reminder that you were surrounded by people who cared deeply for you.

John, trying to reassure little Robert and Michael, knelt down to their level, speaking in soothing tones to keep them calm amid the tension. His eyes, however, never strayed far from you, his concern evident.

As you struggled to catch your breath, the room felt like it was closing in on you, the walls pressing closer and closer. Your chest tightened, and a sense of dread threatened to engulf you completely. You felt trapped, unable to escape the overwhelming fear and grief.

Brian, still focused on you, started to take slow, exaggerated breaths, hoping you would mirror his actions. "In through the nose, out through the mouth," he instructed gently, his eyes locked onto yours. "You're doing great. Just keep breathing with me."

Freddie nodded, his gaze unwavering. "One breath at a time, love," he said encouragingly. "We're all here for you."

Gradually, their calm and steady presence began to pierce through the fog of your panic. You found yourself starting to match Brian's breathing, each inhale and exhale becoming a little more controlled. The tightness in your chest began to ease, and the room started to come back into focus.

With each breath, you felt a bit more grounded, the overwhelming tide of emotions slowly receding. The faces of your friends, filled with concern and love, reminded you that you were not alone in this moment of darkness.

Brian continued to hold your hand, his grip warm and reassuring. "That's it," he murmured softly. "You're doing great. Just keep breathing."

As your breathing steadied, the reality of the situation began to sink in. The grief and pain were still there, but they were no longer threatening to consume you entirely.

Once your breathing calmed down, the weight of the world seemed to press on your shoulders. You collapsed into Brian's chest, the sobs wracking your body uncontrollably. "It's my fault," you repeated between gasps, the words heavy with anguish. The rest of your friends, still unsure of the cause of your distress, exchanged concerned glances, their worry deepening.

Brian held you close, his arms wrapped around you protectively, as he tried to soothe you. "Love, what is it?" he asked gently, his voice trembling with concern. "If I had held him back, he would still be alive. It's all my fault. He was right. I'm just like Dad..." You spiraled deeper into despair, and Brian's grip on your shoulders tightened gently, trying to anchor you.

"Y/n, what are you talking about?" Brian's voice was tender, his own tears matching yours as he witnessed your heartbreak unfold. Tears streamed down your face, and in all the six years of your relationship, he had never seen you so shattered.

"Luke..." you managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper. Brian's expression softened in understanding. "The guitarist who just died," he said softly, realization dawning on him. His heart ached for you, knowing the pain you were going through. He held you tighter, letting you cry out the grief that threatened to consume you.

“What about him?” you asked, shaking your head as tears continued to stream down your face. “He’s not named Luke Patterson. His real name is L/n. He’s... he was my baby brother.”

Brian froze, his eyes widening in shock as the weight of your words settled in. His arms tightened around you instinctively, pulling you closer in a protective embrace. “Oh my god, Y/n,” he murmured softly, his voice filled with sorrow and disbelief. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

The room fell into a stunned silence, each of your friends processing the revelation with heavy hearts. John, Freddie, Roger, Mary, Veronica, and Dominique exchanged somber glances, their expressions reflecting deep sympathy for your loss.

“You couldn’t have known, Y/n. None of us could,” Brian reassured you, his voice gentle yet firm. He held you close, offering silent support as you struggled with the weight of your grief.

“I need to go see him, Brian,” you whispered urgently, your voice trembling with a mixture of desperation and determination. You needed closure, to confront the reality of your brother’s passing and find a way to reconcile the guilt that weighed heavily on your heart.

Brian nodded solemnly, understanding the urgency in your voice. “Of course,” he said softly, brushing a tear from your cheek. “We’ll go together.”

The rest of the night felt like a haze, blurred by grief and shock. Roger drove you and Dominique to the hospital in silence, the weight of the situation heavy in the air. The waiting room was a blur of sterile white walls and anxious faces. When they finally brought you in to identify him, your heart shattered into a million pieces.

Your cries echoed through the morgue as you saw him lying there, pale and cold. You reached out, touching his hand as if hoping he would wake up, as if it were all a terrible nightmare. But there was no response, just the harsh reality of his lifeless body. The wound through his chest was a cruel testament to the violence that had taken him away from you.

In that moment, part of you wished he would sit up and scold you for disturbing his sleep, for waking him up from some silly dream. But deep down, you knew that would never happen. He was gone, and you would never see his vibrant blue eyes open again.

That night felt like the longest of your life. Brian stayed by your side through it all, his comforting presence a lifeline amidst the overwhelming grief. Finally, in the quiet hours of the morning, you found the strength to share everything with him. You spoke of the abusive household you both endured, how you had run away together to escape the pain, and the fateful night he disappeared after a heated argument.

You poured out your guilt, your sorrow, and every raw emotion that had been buried deep within you for years. Brian listened, holding you close, offering words of comfort and understanding. His love and support gave you the courage to confront the painful memories and begin the long journey toward healing.

As the sun rose on that tragic night, you held onto Brian tightly, knowing that despite the pain, you were not alone anymore. Together, you faced the darkness of your past and began to navigate a future where healing and hope could eventually replace the overwhelming grief.

The rain fell steadily, casting a somber atmosphere over the cemetery as the mourners slowly dispersed. You remained standing in front of Luke's grave, the wet earth underfoot and the gray sky above mirroring the heaviness in your heart. The flowers and photos around the grave were a testament to the love and impact Luke had left behind, even in the moments you weren't there for him.

Luke's bandmates had approached you with the offer to buy the rights to "Unsaid N/n," but you declined. Deep down, you knew Luke wouldn't have wanted his personal message to you turned into a commercial endeavor. You found solace in the lyrics, the last words he wanted to say to you—a silent apology that you now cherished, even though you never had the chance to hear it from him.

Your friends, respectful of your grief, stood a distance behind you, offering silent support. Amidst the grayness, you noticed a figure in the distance. It had been a decade, but you instantly recognized him—the man who had inflicted so much pain on you and Luke, the man who had shattered your family and your sense of security.

He stood under an umbrella, watching you quietly, and then nodded in your direction. The gesture felt like a cruel mockery of the agony he had caused. You turned your head away, refusing to acknowledge him or give him the satisfaction of seeing your pain

"I love you, Luke, and I always will. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from the world. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the life you deserved," you whispered, your words carried away by the falling rain. Silent tears streamed down your face, mixing with the raindrops, unnoticed.

Lost in grief, you hadn't realized you had let go of your umbrella until a small hand grabbed yours. Looking down, you saw Robert standing beside you, holding out his own little umbrella, trying to shield you from the rain. His innocent gesture touched your heart, and you crouched down to his level, managing a small, tearful smile. "Thank you, buddy," you said softly, taking his umbrella as he ran back to his parents, leaving you alone again with your thoughts.

Brian appeared beside you, his expression soft and understanding as he watched you silently. He didn't say anything at first, respecting your moment of grief. The rain continued to fall steadily around you, creating a gentle backdrop to the heavy emotions that weighed on your heart.

After a few moments, Brian reached out and gently squeezed your shoulder, offering comfort through his touch. "He was lucky to have you as his sister," Brian said softly, his voice barely audible over the sound of raindrops hitting the umbrella. "You did everything you could."

You nodded, grateful for his presence and understanding. "I just wish I could have done more," you whispered, your voice catching with emotion. Brian pulled you into a gentle embrace, holding you close as you let yourself lean against him, seeking solace in his warmth and strength.

"You gave him love," Brian murmured against your hair, his arms steady around you. "That's the most important thing."

You held onto Brian tightly, finding comfort in his words and his presence. Together, you stood there in the rain, surrounded by the memories of Luke and the support of your loved ones, finding a small measure of peace amidst the storm of emotions.

Brian held you tightly, his heart breaking as he watched you spiral into despair. "Shh, love, it's not your fault," he whispered, his voice steady despite his own turmoil. "You are nothing like your dad. You're kind and loving. Please, just breathe and tell me what happened."

The rest of your friends exchanged worried glances, feeling the weight of your pain without fully understanding its depth. They stayed close, their presence a silent support as you continued to unravel.

With trembling hands, you clung to Brian's shirt, the fabric dampening with your tears. "Luke," you choked out, the name a jagged shard in your throat. "He was my brother. My baby brother, Brian."

"It's all my fault," you repeated, the words a mantra of guilt. "I should have protected him. I should have been there. But I pushed him away."

Brian gently lifted your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Listen to me, Y/n," he said firmly, his voice filled with unwavering conviction. "You are not responsible for what happened. You did not cause this. You did everything you could with the love and care you had."

Freddie stepped closer, his usual flamboyance replaced with a rare, quiet empathy. "He's right, darling," he said softly. "We all have our regrets, but blaming yourself won't bring him back. You have to find a way to forgive yourself."

Roger nodded, his expression solemn. "You loved him, that's what matters. And I bet he knew that."

Mary, Veronica, and Dominique gathered around, each offering a touch of reassurance and understanding. Their words mingled with the falling rain, a gentle chorus of support that surrounded you in your darkest moment.

Together, your friends formed a circle of solace, reminding you of the love and strength you still had despite the devastating loss. Brian held you close, his embrace a lifeline amidst the storm of grief, promising to stand by you as you navigated the painful journey ahead.

And life went on, the earth kept spinning, and gradually, the pain began to soothe. The ache in your heart remained, but with each passing day, it became more bearable. One thing remained steadfast amid the sorrow: your love for Brian and the memory of Luke. Nothing could change the past, but you were determined not to let it define your future. You clung to the lessons learned from Luke's tragic departure, vowing to cherish every moment and to honor his memory in every way possible.

As time passed, you found solace in Brian's unwavering support and the comforting presence of your friends. They stood by you through the darkest moments, offering understanding and empathy without judgment. Their love became a source of strength, helping you heal and slowly rebuild the shattered pieces of your heart.

In the quiet moments, you often found yourself listening to Luke's favorite song, "Unsaid N/n," the lyrics a poignant reminder of his spirit and the bond you shared. Each note carried a bittersweet melody, weaving through your memories and filling the void he left behind.

Looking toward the future, you held onto a quiet hope. Perhaps one day, there would be a Luke May who would carry on Luke's legacy, honoring his uncle in ways you had dreamed of. You envisioned a future where his memory would be celebrated, where his spirit would live on through the love and stories shared by those who knew him.

And as you gazed into Brian's eyes, seeing the depth of his love and understanding, you knew that together, you could face whatever challenges lay ahead. With him by your side, you found the strength to embrace life again, cherishing each moment and carrying Luke's memory in your heart forever.

[solofanatic64]

It’s June 8th today which is my headcanon birthday for Tigerclaw so happy birthday to him 🥳

And while we’re on the subject of birthdays, I’m gonna share my hc birthdays/ages for all the henches, along with reasons as to how I chose their birth dates

(also; this is gonna be how old they are in 2015/Season 3 bc that’s when Anton and Ivan joined and I needed a reference date for birth years and such)

🎉Xever: 24, November 10th 1991 (why: I felt like either a Virgo or Scorpio birthday felt right, and luckily Never Say Xever aired on the same day)

🎉Baxter: 28, December 16th 1987 (why: I realized he was born the same year TMNT 1987 came out so his birthday is basically the same date A Thing About Rats, his 1987 counterparts debut episode, aired)

🎉TC: 32, June 8th 1983 (why: a summer birthday felt right for him, luckily The Wrath of Tigerclaw aired on the same day)

🎉Anton: 36, May 21st 1979 (why: the official TMNT Instagram posted a “Your Zodiac Sign Your 2012 Character” thing beginning of 2024 and Bebop fell under Gemini, so I gave him the same birthday as my birthday (as a little treat for me)

🎉Ivan: 54, February 1st 1961 (why: kind of the same thing as Anton, in the same official TMNT Instagram post he fell under Aquarius which was perfect because I always saw him having a winter birthday, and luckily Serpent Hunt aired on the same day)

🎉Chris: 64 (claims he’s 32), July 13th 1951 (why: to go with my Family Cultist Bloodline headcanon (which I will talk about at some point, don’t worry), I thought it would be appropriate if his birthday landed on Friday the 13th; even more lucky that dates a Cancer birthday, which also felt appropriate)

…

…

…

“Wait, Bebop’s birthday is on the same day as your birthday plus he’s your favorite, how the hell did you miss it?-“

I WAS BUSY AND HAD A LOT OF WORK TO DO, OKAY‼️‼️‼️‼️

[runchiarun]

Sims 4 Gravity Falls AU Based on this timeline *Some events and dates are moved in this AU*

Might be forgetting some details here and there but generally: 1950 - Stan and Ford are born

1962 (12) - Fiddleford moves to New Jersey and lives with his aunt and uncle

1962 - 1967 (12 - 17) - Junior High and High School - Fiddleford becomes BFFs with them both - Fiddleford starts crushing on Ford (common interests) - Stan crushes on Fiddleford (Stan just finds Fidds cute) - All are pretty close and cuddly with each other, boundaries aren't an issue

1967 (17) - Fiddleford moves back home (Aug 31) - Fiddleford reconnects with an old childhood friend from his old neighbourhood Emma-May - Stan gets kicked out, not knowing what to, he calls Fiddleford (Nov) - Fiddleford offers Stan to stay with him and his parents - One 6 hour drive later and Stan is finally at Fiddlefords home

1967 - 1969 (17 - 19) - High school days - A few small romantic moments between Fiddleford and Stan here and there but nothing official or serious - Stan still really likes Fiddleford - Emma-May does not like Stan (jealously over how close Stan is to Fiddleford)

1969 (19) - College - Ford turns out to be their roommate - Emma-May goes to the same school too

1970 (20) - Emma-May asks Fiddleford out, he says yes but feels unsure

1970 - 1972 (20 - 22) - Stan in and out of jail for petty thefts (Expelled from college due to his crimes and bad grades)

1974 (24) - Stan gets arrested in Colombia - Ford and Fiddleford graduate from college - Emma-May asks Fiddleford to marry her - Ford moves to Gravity Falls

1974 - 1979 (24 - 29) - Ford explores Gravity Falls and writes journal 1 & 2 - Fiddleford works business and builds computers part time

1979 (29) - Stan released from prison, lives in his car / motels

1980 (30) - Fiddleford marries Emma-May (after 10 years together) (she weaseled her way in more with Fiddleford while Stan was gone) - Fiddleford wanted to wait for Stanley to be released to get married (Emma-May was not happy about that) - Lives the family life with Emma-May

1982 (32) - Ford meets Bill - Bill manipulates Ford - Ford starts to fall in love with Bill

1983 (33) - Ford calls Fiddleford to help him with his project - Leaves Emma-May during her early days of pregnancy - Fiddleford misses a lot of doc apts - The married couple begin to argue - Strange incidents and creatures start to traumatize Fiddleford - Builds the memory gun and becomes leader of the Blind Eye - Overwhelmed and stressed + portal incident, Fiddleford leaves Ford - Ford has a big fight with Bill (Starts to distrust Bill just as Bill is truly falling in love) - Ford sends postcard to Stan (early nov '84) - Ford gets sucked into portal - Stan decides to take Fords ID and place in Gravity Falls - Fakes his death

1984 cont. (34) - Tate is born (may '84) - More arguing from the married couple - Fiddleford leaves the Blind Eye - Emma-May kicks Fiddleford out - Fiddleford takes Tate with him (late nov '84) - But with no where else to go, Fiddleford goes back to Ford - However, it's not Ford, but Stanley - Already using the memory gun, Fiddleford barely remembers Stan despite growing up with each other - Stan offers Fiddleford and Tate to stay with him

1984 - 1987 (34 - 37) (0-3) - Stan and Fiddleford attempt to repair the portal - Not a lot to do with the other journals still missing - A few adventures to look for them but no luck - Divorce precedents start with Emma-May (after 18 years) - Years later, Stan still cares very much for Fiddleford - Stan automatically treats Tate as his own - Fiddleford co-raises Tate with Stan - Stan opens the Mystery Shack - Overtime, Fiddleford sees how kind Stan is with his son and finally realizes Stan has always loved and cared for him - Fiddleford starts to fall in love with Stan

1987 (37) (3) - Stan and Fiddleford get married (private wedding) - Legally, on paper, Fiddleford is married to Ford as Stan faked his death

1987 - 1990 (37 - 40) (6 - 7) - Fiddleford's PTSD and addiction flares up and he starts using the memory gun again

1991 (41) (7 - 8) - Fiddleford lost his memory completely and wonders off - Stan continues to raise Tate on his own - Both take Fiddlefords absence hard - As "Ford" Stan pretends to not know Fiddleford in public, and just writes him off as the town kook like the rest of the town - This doesn't bother Fiddleford, as Fiddleford doesn't even know him

1991 - 1999 (41 - 49) (7/8 - 14) - Tate in elementary and middle school - Gets teased / bullied about who his dad is (Everyone assumes "Ford" and Fiddleford were just "roommates" and thinks its so kind of him to take in of his crazy friends child)

1999 (49) (14) - Dipper and Mabel are born - Tate works part-time at the Mystery Shack

2000 - 2003 (50 - 53) (14 - 17/18) (3/4) - Stan and Tate visit the twins a few times of the year (its a 12 hour drive so just birthdays / holidays)

2003 (53) (18) (4) - Tate graduates from high school - Leaves town for college

2003 - 2007 (53 - 57) (18 - 22) (4 - 8) - Tate comes home during college breaks - Tate has a girlfriend

2007 (57) (22) (8) - Tate finishes college - Gets married to college girlfriend (Stan and twins are involved in the wedding) - Tate starts his own family

2007 - 2012 (57 - 62) (22 - 27) (8 - 12) - Stan lived and ran the Mystery Shack alone since Tate went off to college for 5 years (holidays with Tate and his family)

2010 (60) (25) (11) - Tate has his own son

2012 (62) (27) (12/13) - Twins come to Gravity Falls - Miscellaneous adventures over the summer - It breaks Stans heart everytime he's involved in adventures with the twins that involve Fiddleford - Fiddleford begins to regain his memories back after the Blind Eye ep - Ford comes through the portal (married to Bill for the past 25 years) - Weirdmageddon (result of a big fight with Ford and Bill) - Same events happen, Ford erases Stans memory - Bill in theraprison (a few weeks pregnant, Ford didn't know)

2012 cont (62) (27) (12) - Ford and the twins bring out photo albums to run his memory - Dipper finds dusty albums hidden under Stan's bed - They discover that Stan was married to Fiddleford. (They had no clue) - Stan starts to regain his memories - Fiddleford comes by, with his memories coming back as well - Sappy reunion (after 19 years apart) - Tate also runs over when everything is settled to find his dads

2012 - 2015 (62 - 65) (27 - 30) (13 - 16) - Ford changes his mind and let's Stan and Fiddleford stay (wants to keep an eye on them since they both have memory issues) - The twins come by every summer - Stan, Ford and Fiddleford go sailing on and off during the other months

2015 (65) (30) (16) (3) - Bill is released and on house arrest - Comes back with a toddler (Abigail Pines) - Ford is a mix of emotions, happy and full of love to see his husband again after 3 years, mad and betrayed about weirdmageddon, and hesitant and confused about "his" child (doesn't believe Bill that its his)

2015 cont (65) (30) (16) (3) - Ford barely deals with Bill at first - Mabel really believes in Bills rehabilitation and loves playing with Abigail (finally a girl to share interests with) - Stan, Fiddleford and Dipper are skeptical about Bill but gives him the benefit of doubt - Stan even gives him a part-time job at the Mystery Shack - Takes a few months for Ford to warm up to Bill again and to accept that Abigail is actually his child

[cartermagazine]

Today In History

Willie Mays, “The Say Hey Kid” baseball legend, was born in Westfield, AL, on this date May 6, 1931.

Mays is sixth on the all-time homerun list with 660 homeruns, and was elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame in 1979.

Willie was also the National League MVP in 1954 and 1965. He is considered by many to have been the best all-around player in the history of baseball.

CARTER™️ Magazine

[rock-and-roll-hell]

July 25, 1980

Unmasked Tour

Palladium - New York City, NY

Eric Carr’s live debut with KIϟϟ wearing the first version of his “Fox” makeup. While heavily featuring the 1979 and 1980 studio albums, it is somewhat strange to consider that the set included three covers: “2,000 Man,” originally recorded by the Rolling Stones; “New York Groove,” originally recorded by Hello; and “King of the Night Time World,” originally performed by the Hollywood Stars (though never commercially released). “Is That You?” while not written by the band had also not been commercially released by the writer or other artists. The only United States “Unmasked” era concert and contemporary performance of material from that album. This show marked the live debut of three songs from “Unmasked” including “Is That You?,” “Talk To Me,” and “You’re All That I Want.”The Palladium was the renamed Academy of Music, where KIϟϟ had made their industry debut in December 1973. KIϟϟ spun their appearance at a smaller venue: “It was a night of nostalgia for Ace, Paul and Gene. And a dream come true for Eric Carr. KIϟϟ planned a special performance at the Palladium in New York to introduce Eric to its staunchest home town fans. There was very little publicity. The one-night-only show was mostly a word of mouth affair. Although small for KIϟϟ today, the hall was chosen for sentimental reasons. Most of the fans, as well as the band, were remembering the historic night KIϟϟ played its first important New York performance on that very stage… the show was a resounding success”.

From local press: “KIϟϟ performed at the Palladium on Friday night, which was unusual; the group usually plays venues the size of Madison Square Garden. Slipping popularity may account for the Palladium date to some extent, but KIϟϟ could certainly have filled the theater several nights running and chose not to do so. The show’s primary purpose seems to have been the introduction of Eric Carr, the new drummer, to the band’s hard-core fans. A few diehards yelled for the departed Peter Criss, but not for long. This listener kept trying to remember what Mr. Criss used to sound like, but the effort proved fruitless. Before long, he became accustomed to Mr. Carr, who played a somewhat elaborate drum kit and was sometimes a little floppy but kicked the music along nicely. The band had installed its flashy stage set and resorted to a number of its tried and true visual gimmicks, but with the scale of the event reduced, one tended to focus more on the music. It wasn’t bad. It was heavy-handed, macho to an almost comical degree, rife with bombast and excess, everything one expects heavy metal to be, but the playing was tight – much tighter than the last time the reviewer heard KIϟϟ, at the Garden – and most of the songs weren’t padded with unnecessary solo noodling. Whether KIϟϟ fans will take to Mr. Carr remains to be seen; one would think they’d be satisfied with Gene Simmons’s tongue-wagging and fire-breathing and Ace Frehley’s flaming guitar. In any event, and for what it’s worth, Mr. Carr’s addition to the band seems to have been a positive step, though it isn’t likely to make KIϟϟ’ music ‘genuinely important to life’” (New York Times, 7/27/80).

Another: “Carr proved to be a capable drummer but no Peter Criss. The show wasn’t quite the visual extravaganza I’d anticipated, nor was it the Sodom and Gomorrah meets 'The Night of the Living Dead’ I’d feared. Instead, it seemed like the 'Wizard of Oz’ gone awry” (Aquarian).

From a mainstream review: “It was apparent from the appearance and playing of Carr that KIϟϟ one of the most successful rock acts of all times, was not taking any chances with the music or the formula now that original drummer Peter Criss has departed for a solo career… So it was almost the typical KIϟϟ show. But with the new drummer now more in the background, the focus was more on the front three… And although performing on a smaller stage than usual, the show was basically the same” (Billboard, 8/9/80).

From a regional review: “KIϟϟ concerts are a little like Christmas. The anticipation is half the fun, and everyone was up for this one… KIϟϟ crashed through their 20-song set with the delicacy of a chain gang” (London, CT, The Day, 8/1/80).

[strange-anni]

Mayor Larry and the events of the 22nd of March 1979

Mayor Larry and Wills father Lonnie Byers are heavily paralleled. Therefore I think it can be worthwhile to examine him and the events of the Fun Fair on July the 4th to possibly get some clues as to what happened on Wills birthday on March the 22nd in 1979.

This is meant response to the birthday gate theory by @greenfiend and you can read up on it here. It's also aligned with the Will Byers has DID theory

Long post ahead and warning for discussions of murder

First let's look at some more general clues a to why I think the two events (Wills birthday in 1979 and Mayor Larrys Fun Fair in 1985) are connected starting with Billys magazines

Penthouse

The first clue is major as it tells us of how One killed 360 people. It's the most chilling interview ever. (He likes it cold) 360 may be a bit much but I'll come back to the 36 later. That's an obvious hint for a massacre.

Then we have some other headlines like Sex, drugs and scandals and then something with the lid on Wall Street (Can't make that out exactly but this could refer to the general situation; or it could refer to a Street leading to a wall -> The Demogorgon coming out of the wall or will communication with Joyce through a wall)

How even you can save 100,000 Dollar (A guide to save a lot of people)

An unholy alliance between fascist (?) feminists and the moral majority (That's an interesting one! Was Joyce friends with a woman who wanted her to leave Lonnie? Plus there is the unholy alliance which could indicate that this friend of hers tried to align herself with authorities like the police)

___USE

Crime of Passion: The Professor and the prostitute (Did Joyce have an affair or did someone suspect her to have an affair? I'm also thinking of Neil suspecting that Billys mom was with another man)

Does Mark Breland have the right stuff? (Not sure about this one but it could relate to drugs)

April Fools - The greatest jokes ever (Not sure either)

African slaughterhouse (I don't even want to comment on this)

The war on elephants (not sure either)

can't read the last line

Also the fact that USE is the only word we can make out makes me think that these are things Lonnie might have used in one way or another. Either directly or indirectly.

Then there is this poster at the swimming pool which gave me the idea how the entire plot of S3 may be connected to the massacre in 1979 in the first place.

These posters right there give us so many clues

3rd Annual reworks it says but the 3 is cut in a way where you could also think it's actually an 8 (giving us the 8th annual event show or Wills 8th birthday in 1979)

Erica on Parade (You can't spell America without Erica; makes me think of Erica of cause and all of Wills alters)

76 - 1985 (It started in 76 and it still lasts to the present day in 1985 in Season 3)

Happy Birthday USA (because what is the 4th of July if not a celebration of the birthday of the United States, am I right?)

He held on tight to his Dream (I am sure young Will did, didn't he?)

Thursday 4th of July at 3 PM on Main Street (they give us the exact time and date of the parade)

This is what both the 22nd of March 1979 and the 4th of July have in common. Both are on a Thursday, both celebrate a great event/ a birthday and both bring great festivities.

Therefore I think whatever happened in 1979 was already somewhat foreshadowed in Season 3. I can't piece it all together so bear with me but I will try to collect some clues.

First things first. It didn't start at the 4th of July. It started earlier when Mom and Pop stores started to disappear which caused a lot of upset among the people so they decided to protest. Mayor Larry though thought they're a nuisance and successfully got rid of them.

This however could have had long time consequences as it could have put his reelection in danger so he thought of a trick to make the people forget what happened. He organized great festivities on July the 4th as a distraction. To lift their spirits and make them forget why they were upset in the first place.

It's noteworthy that Larry specifically mentions the disappearance Mom and Pop stores. This happened because Larry was selling off property to the Russians (This could hint that something happened to two people who might be Joyce and Hopper - "mom and pop" - before the party even started.)

Larry and Lonnie share the same name.

The Russian guy Grigori who visits Larry rides a motorcycle just like Lonnie.

As for the property: Well... Lonnie doesn't have property but he does have sons.

So my guess is that Lonnie did something terrible shortly before Wills birthday in 1979 which caused Will to get really upset and to placate his feelings Lonnie organized a birthday party for him. So all bad feelings will be forgotten and only the positive ones of the party will remain. It's a manipulation tactic.

Before we go on I want to make a quick Interlude to remind us of what Joyce said happened on Wills 8th birthday in 1979

Joyce: Do you know what March 22nd is? It's your birthday. Your birthday. When you turned eight, I gave you that huge box of crayons. Do you remember that? It was 120 colors. And all your friends, they got you Star Wars toys, but all you wanted to do was draw with all your new colors. And you drew this big spaceship, but it wasn't from a movie. It was your spaceship. A rainbow ship is what you called it. And you must have used every color in the box.

Will got a big box of crayons from his mom and drew a big space ship while using every color in the box. His rainbow ship. This is important and this spaceship will play a big part later.

So back to the preparations for the Fair

50s One is here as well as three frogs, two bears who seem to wear traditional Bavarian clothing. A Dirndl which is woman's clothing. Men would wear Lederhosen which would look a bit different.

Another brown bear is in the back as well as something which I cannot make out entirely but looks like a bird to me.

Three frogs make me think of Mike Wheeler who is called Frogface by Troy but he is not the only one here. There are two more members of the frog family which makes me think that Mike wasn't the only one who attended or was supposed to attend the birthday party (My best guess as to who the others are is Nancy and Karen BUT it could also just be Karen and Holly if she was already pregnant at the time)

The two almost identical bears in Dirndl do make me think of the Byers. Bavaria where these clothes are sometimes worn at festivals is called Bayern in german and it's almost pronounced like Byers. As to why they are both wearing traditional woman's clothing I have no idea. There is only one woman in the Byers family and it's Joyce.

The brown bear and the other bird(?) I cannot make sense of.

There is also a Silver Streak Ride and a big bear in the back of a car.

Here we have our Spaceship but it's not turned on yet and Grigori who is the one with the motorcycle is right in front of it.

There is also a 6 printed on the spaceship as well which may indicate that this was used six years prior to the current events (1985) in 1979.

1985 - 6 = 1979

Larry: My friends in state PD, highway patrol, they're all on the lookout. I got eyes everywhere. The second he pops up I get a call. Grigori: A call? Larry: Yes. A call. I mean, what more do you people want me to do? Grigori: We want you to find him.

Larry and Grigori are going inside to talk about Hopper. Grigori and the Russians want to find him. Larrys choice of words is rather interesting. "The second he pops up" Larry gets a call and refers to Hopper who is pop. Remember the disappearance of mom and pop stores? Yeah, that's suspicious. Not to mention the whole phone thing. Larry constantly wants a phone in his vicinity while Will is afraid of phones and phone calls.

Nevertheless while inside they accidentally put the spaceship in motion and get booted into space/ the UD. The ship wasn't meant for them but it brought them there anyway.

It also happens before the big event even starts.

Just after the Fun Fair starts as Major Larry announces the fireworks, Ted, Karen and Holly go on the Farris Wheel. They are riding clockwise to the top. Right when they are at the peak, the ride stops giving them the best view of the fireworks.

It's Ted Wheeler who notices that they stopped and it's Karen Wheeler who's responsible for it. Karen slipped Jimmy a five. She bribed someone with a five to get the best seats in the house. It's Jimmy who took the bribery and this makes me think of Hopper.

But what about the five? I'm not sure but Will was five years old when it all started in 1976. If Karen somehow found out something wasn't right and told the police/Hopper about it it could make sense. (I'm also thinking about the fascist feminist in Billys magazine here. If Joyce had a female friend before it was most likely Karen. Plus Karen also knows it's very dark at night in the Byers driveway making me think she's been there before at night. Most likely to pick up Mike but I do wonder if she saw something else as well)

Then there is still the disappearance of mom and pop before the events. Karen is also a mom. Therefore it might also refer to her.

It's Holly who notices the trees moving in the distance but Karen doesn't want her look at them. She should focus on the fireworks instead. The trees which are moving because because of the Mind Flayer who is a shadowy representation of Lonnie.

Meanwhile Hopper and Joyce also arrive at the Fair and then notice Ted, Karen and Holy broad the Spaceship. They decide to jon them.

Karen thinks it's funny to see Joyce in the ship. She seems happy to see her but is surprised as well. It's almost like Karen thinks Joyce doesn't belong there. I do think it's noteworthy that she asks this while they on the spaceship. It's the spaceship that is meant to take everyone in and bring them to the UD/ save them so they can live on.

The only thing Joyce wants to know though is where the kids are. They are obviously not on the spaceship. Perhaps this indicates that they should have been there but for some reason aren't. We as the audience do know where they are and what they are occupied with though. They are trying to beat the Mind Flayer in Starcourt Mall.

According to Karen the kids are also not yet here (at the Spaceship or the Fair in general) This could also indicate that they are to arrive later in events that happened in 1979. First some adults died and later a lot of kids also got killed. I am pretty sure though that Karen Wheeler was among those who died back then as she is the only one who seemed comfortable on the ship like she belongs there.

Here we do get a look at the passenger seats and it does remind me of the number of people who were killed by One according to Billys magazine. Seat No. 33 is empty while No. 34 belongs to Karen, No. 35 to Holly, No. 36 to Ted, No. 37 to Joyce and then there is Hopper who's seat number is 8 (because the 8 is the only visible figure)

It's tricky to find out what this means though because if we were to go back in time to 1979 Holly either wouldn't have existed yet or she would have shared her seat with Karen. if Karen was even pregnant back then she must have been in her very first weeks.

Yet according to Billys magazine One killed 36 people meaning that it could have been Joyce who survived for real after all. Or she died at an earlier date and wasn't supposed to be on the spaceship. Again it's the disappearance of mom and pop which make me wonder. (Mom is either Joyce or Karen I'm sure)

Then the spaceship lifts off into space/the UD without the kids but with the parents and Holly instead.

Later on as Alexei gets murdered by Grigori at the Fair he notices two clowns and a mime. I do not know what it means but I do know that young Will was afraid of clowns.

Alexei being Russian and Grigori also being Russian make me think that there may have been a traitor among the Motorcyle gang Lonnie seemed to have dealings with who then got shot at Wills birthday party by his own men.

However with the exception of Murray who then calls for Joyces and Hoppers help no one seems to have noticed Alexei die.

In the end the kids never arrive at Larrys Fun Fair and never entered the Spaceship but that doesn't mean that they are safe as the news tells us that the Mall, the Mayor and a power supply were also turned upside down (were lifted into space and the UD)

I might continue this at a later date but for now I've almost reached picture limit and this post is already too long as it is