#depression defeated by macaronis

[doxiedreg]

Will hopefully jump back into the fight tomorrow

After a good meal i do feel my strength returning and my want to do art to climb again

But its now 11 pm so I should go to sleep and not draw ogciyfiyc

Might sketch some doodles in my sketchbook to ward of the brain bees

Also I might have forgotten to take my evening meds I should check that

But yeah after 2 break days, I hopefully should be back in business tomorrow

Though let's hope I don't go too hard and overwork myself again

Also lets hope I'll catch some proper sleep, I've been sleeping real poorly lately

Alright that's all for my update byeeee

[come-see-our-show]

actual things said at rehearsal for my school play

“It’s okay. Follow your cracker cosplay dreams.”

“Kyles are a rare Pokémon. I have never seen a Kyle before.”

Director: Urine is BANNED from the rehearsal space.

Freshman: Is that a challenge?

“Macaroni in a pol pot.“

“Hail-!” *raises arm like a nazi* “Wait, don’t do that” *lowers hand* “Hail, Caesar!”

“That’s unfortunately homosexual.”

“All I do here is consume and shitpost.”

“C O N S U M E  M O R T A L  S O U L S. T H E Y  T A S T E  L I K E  C H O C C Y  M I L K.”

Freshman: Last night I positioned my giant dog stuffed animal so it was spooning me. That says much about me.

Junior: Were you the big or little?

Freshman: Little.

“Julius Ceasar is either gay beyond compare or hompohobic and I can’t tell which.”

“The mirror is a good substitute when the void doesn’t listen.”

“The French deserve to be hate crimed.“

“I miss my Dunkin Donuts husband.”

“Dictator kin list!!”

*aggressive american accent* “I’M ON SALE AT TARZHAY”

“I’m 4’11” and PACKED with malice.”

Freshman 1: I just got a chill up my spine. What kind of ghost possessed me?

Freshman 2: it’s called anxiety.

“The British deserve to be invaded for their sins.”

“I think we can afford to be a little homophobic because this is the most rep the acting department has gotten.”

“Broke a Brit’s heart… That one’s for Ireland.”

“I haven’t had a thought in the past 32 years.” *is 16 years old*

“I’m mentally falling apart, but it’s cool ‘cause I’m wearing a blazer.”

"Live, laugh, Wawa.”

“Cats the musical but they’re spiders.”

“Property? I didn’t know I was getting colonized again.”

Sophomore: Be the catboy you want to see in the world.

Junior: Would y’all picture me as a normal or a trap catboy?

Director to lead: “Please give more bloodlust in your description of violent revolutions.”

Junior: mic go brrrrrrrr

Freshman 1: my heaters go brrrrrrr

Freshman 2: windows go brrr

Freshman 1: household appliances go brrrrr

Sophomore: my heart goes brrr

“How do I be gay AND French?”

Freshman 1: Washington George High School.

Freshman 2: Their rival high school is Jefferson Thomas.

Sophomore: Their flag is the miku binder.

“Harry Potter and the Rigged Election.” 

“What’s the term for spider furry?”

“I am truly a being from the depths of hell.”

“Julius Caesar is the Adderall of anti-depression.”

“Dictatorship kinda… not pog.”

“Oh no… I have been committing war crimes for the past 30 minutes. Happens to the best of us, not gonna lie.”

“I CAN’T BE A GINGER IN COURT.”

“Three teenagers bully Julius Caesar for his Danganronpa kin.”

“God is dead and we killed him.”

“Why is Fiji the one that defeated me, uwu?”

"Harry Potter and the Return of Nagito.”

Sophomore: All threats of murder are purely hypothetical.

Director: Periodt.

“How to overthrow your uwu in seven easy steps.”

Senior: Uwu?

Director: Get out of my life.

“I open a spreadsheet and immediately start crying.”

Stage manager: No murdering.

Sophomore: Can we commit tax fraud?

Junior: You can ALWAYS commit tax fraud.

“I say this with all the love in my heart: this cast gives the same vibe as a middle school production of Into the Woods."

Freshman: I’m a musical theatre kid.

Senior: I do not hate you. However, I WILL hate crime you.

Director: “Everyday you guys talk about violent crime and I just have to deal with it.”

Junior: Aren’t you a little young to be overthrowing your student government?

Freshman: Yes. Yes I am.

[advena87]

Kaer Morhen shenanigans (but mostly Lambert’s) part 8

Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 and Daily Lambert

also Keira & Lambert’s love story, Aiden & Lambert’s love story and… this.

.

Eskel: Can I keep this goat?

Vesemir: No.

Eskel: Why not? She’s so cute, I named her Lil’Bleater.

Berengar: Because she’ll hurt and annoy everyone.

Vesemir: And she will destroy everything.

Eskel: But you basically just described Lambert!

Geralt: He has a point. If we can keep Lambert we might as well keep the goat. She can't be worse than him.

Vesemir: It's hard to argue with this logic…

***

*brekfast*

Lambert: Give me a vodka on the rocks. 

Geralt: Lambert, it’s 7 in the morning. 

Lambert: And a piece of toast. 

 *a moment later*

Geralt: Eskel, we just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Eskel: They’re for Lil’Bleater.

Berengar: Why are you making pancakes for goat?

Eskel: She doesn't know how.

***

Lambert: Um, guys?

Berengar: What now?

Lambert: Can animal breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Berengar:

Geralt:

Eskel:

Eskel: Where’s Lil’Bleater?!

*a moment later*

Berengar: *leaning against a wall with Geralt while they watch Eskel try to catch Lambert *

Berengar: Amazing.

Geralt: This is the worst chase I’ve ever seen in my life. How has Eskel still not caught him?

Berengar: Lambert is pretty fast, and if he caught him, he would probably kill him. Tbh I don’t think Eskel really wants to touch him. You never know where he’s been.

Lambert: Eskel, calm down! This goat was stinking, someone had finally wash her!

Eskel: YOU CAN RUN BUT ILL STILL BE IN YOUR NIGHTMARES!

***

Vesemir: I can’t believe how drunk you are!

Lambert: I am not drunk.

Vesemir: Yes you are!

Lambert: I am not!

Vesemir: Can you tell the time?

Lambert: Yes *turns to point at clock* I am not drunk!

Vesemir, pointing out of a window: Lambert, do you see that over there? Running between the trees?

Lambert, confused: No, I don't. What is it?

Vesemir, now looking directly at Lambert: It's my patience for your stupid drunk shit, running away from me again!

***

Berengar: Wow, I really like this new, abstract, surrealist, post-modern painting of this depressive and tormented person.

Lambert: Dude, that’s a mirror.

***

Berengar: The fact that I exist literally pisses me off sometimes.

***

Vesemir: What are the signs of teenage depression?

Geralt: Why are you asking?

Vesemir: Berengar was doing laundry earlier and he dropped a sock and I heard him say “why has the god forsaken me”.

***

Vesemir: Where's Berengar? I've been looking for him all day.

Eskel: He’s been in the shower.

Vesemir: All day?

Eskel: Pretty much. He takes really long showers when he gets depressed.

Vesemir: Well, when do you think he’s going to come out?

Eskel: I don't know. He took a chair in there.

*a moment later*

Vesemir and Eskel: *knocks on bathroom door*

Berengar: Who is it?

Eskel: It's us, we just wanna talk.

Berengar: How many of you are there?

Vesemir: Two.

Berengar: Then talk to each other.

***

Vesemir, calling Lambert: Hello.

Lambert: What?

Vesemir: Lambert, you should identify yourself when you answer the phone.

Lambert: Sorry.

Lambert: *thick sarcasm* The Kaer Morhen keep, major disappointment speaking.

Lambert: Better?

Vesemir: *sighs in defeat*

***

Lambert: Hey guys- Why are you all standing on table? Are you playing a game?

Geralt: Yeah, we’re playing “we saw a young arachnomorph in the castle and don’t know where the fuck it went”.

Lambert: *scrambles onto table*

***

Lambert: I’ll think of a plan, I’m the best at plans.

Eskel: No. You’re not.

Lambert: I am! Name one bad plan I’ve come up with.

Eskel: Blowing up the rock troll in the castle tower.

Berengar: Starting a bar brawl because you forgot your wallet.

Geralt: Ritualistically sacrificing Eskel.

Eskel: Putting Lil’Bleater into the washing machine.

Geralt: Throwing bombs inside the castle.

Berengar: Take fisstech and go hunting for a Water Hag in brothel.

Geralt: Ooh, so that's why they kicked you out of there!

Lambert: …

***

Vesemir: I'm disappointed

Lambert: And I'm tired of hearing this shit. You're disappointed? Let's think about it: Brengar has depression and suicidal thoughts, I have drinking problem and anger issues, Eskel's best friend is a goat, and Geralt is a slut.

Geralt: Wait, what?

Lambert: And tell me Vesemir, whose fault is that?

Vesemir: It's not your job to question my parenting methods.

Lambert: Why not? I find some of your methods highly questionable.

Geralt: I'm not a slut!

***

Geralt: Ok Lambert, we need you to distract the guards.

Lambert: Right.

Berengar: What are you gonna do?

Lambert: I'm gonna kill them. That ought to distract 'em.

Geralt: I said distract them, not cut them down!

Lambert: There is just no pleasing you sometimes.

Gerlat: Lambert!

Lambert: FINE. I'll take care of it. No killing, I promise.

*Lambert leaves*

Geralt: What do you think Lambert will do for a distraction?

Eskel: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and all the horses fled*

Berengar: ...or he could do that.

Geralt: …

Geralt: Fuck. It’s time for Plan B.

Berengar: We have a Plan B?

Geralt: No, but it’s time for one.

*meanwhile in another part of town, Vesemir on a date with countess Mignole*

Vesemir, to Mignole: Hah, look at those idiots getting chased by guards.

Vesemir: Wait.

Eskel, Geralt, Lambert & Berengar: *yelling in the distance*

Vesemir: SHIT- THOSE ARE MY IDIOTS

 *later*

Vesemir: I can’t come today, sorry.

Countess Mignole: Why not?

Vesemir: Geralt, Eskel, Lambert and Berengar are all in the hospital.

Countess Mignole: Oh my, what happened?

Vesemir: Varying degrees of idiocy.

***

Eskel: With all due respect Geralt, have you lost your fucking mind?

Geralt: That's with all due respect? And since when you use the fuck word?

Eskel: You took advice from Lambert?!

Berengar: It’s called hitting rock bottom, Eskel.

Geralt: It's called following Vesemir's directions. He always said: „In the unlikely event that you encounter something that is not covered here, find a man named Lambert of Kaer Morhen, get his advice, and then do the opposite.”

Eskel: But you did exactly what Lambert told you!

Geralt: Because it was good advice.

***

Vesemir: Eskel wants to become a witcher when he grows up to kill monsters and help people in need. My other son, Lambert, wants to be a porcupine so he can stab people with his butt.

***

Vesemir, before the young witchers set off on their first independent journey: Eskel, you should look after Lambert.

Eskel: What do you mean? He's a witcher now.

Vesemir: That doesn’t mean he actually knows what he’s doing.

*later on the path during dinner*

Lambert: Okay, guys, who wanted the macaroni and bees?

Eskel: ...

Gerlat: You mean cheese?

Lambert, struggling to keep the bowl covered: That does make more sense, actually.

Eskel: I'm starting to understand what Vesemir meant.

***

Lambert: Your existence is confusing.

Vesemir: How so?

Lambert: Your presence is so fucking annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

Berengar: It's called Stockholm syndrome.

Lambert: Ah yes, another issue on my long, long list.

Berengar: I think you may also have PTSD.

Lambert: Yeah I have PTSD.

Lambert: Proficient Talent for Sucking D-

Vesemir: WE ALSO need to talk about your use of humor as a coping mechanism.

***

Vesemir: Everyone always asks me how I handle running the witcher school.

Vesemir: The truth is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever. This morning, Geralt called my name, and when I showed up to see what was going on, Lambert shot me in the throat with a slingshot.

.

[lovemesomesurveys]

[created by: -ily-ylm]

We meet again, what's one of the best things you did today? Well, well, well. We meet again. ha. Anyway, it’s only 4:17 and so far I’ve just  ate ramen, watched YouTube videos, and now I’m doing some surveys, which  are all things I like to do.

Does your pet ever harass you when your eating food? She’ll sit by you and just stare. 

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, "Oh God, Ew." I avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible for that reason. I keep it short and only when I have to. Otherwise, I avoid looking at myself. And I sometimes use reflective surfaces that don’t make the best mirror because it doesn’t give a clear reflection or I keep my light off when I can see just enough. I’ve become very self-conscious these past few years. More so than ever. 

Name a song that gets stuck in your head now and then:: Random songs get stuck in my head all the time.

Do you have a pair of those big sunglasses? Do you wear them at all? I don’t wear sunglasses.

What’s your favorite flavor or kind of cough drop? The minty ones.

Peanut butter goes best with what one: Honey, jam or chocolate? It goes really well with all 3. Do you like sour candies? What's the most sourest candy you've ever tried? No, not at all. I don’t enjoy the sour taste for one, but also it irritates my mouth.

Is there something you really want, that a friend has?

FREEZE FRAME! Your five years old again...!! - You wake up, and your hungry. What do you want for some num-num's? Probably a chicken mcnugget happy meal.

You're done eating, what toy do you go play with? Barbies.

Your mom is taking you out to go to your favorite place, where is that? Chuck-E-Cheese.

You start crying, what's the reason? What/who made you cry? Probably just from being tired.

It's your 6th birthday! What was the present that made you crazy happy? All things Barbie.

Back To Random Reality... - When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? Nothing.

Are you good at doing your own makeup? How about others' makeup? I was never great it. I didn’t mess with it too much, I just kept it simple. I definitely wasn’t good at doing someone else’s. 

Do you usually have to or want to drink when attending a party? I felt that way when I was younger and used to drink. My friends were doing it and I wanted to keep up with them. And I was like, I’m in my early 20s this is what you do. Bad way of thinking, but it’s true. Are you a fire-bug? What's something you've lit on fire before? No, I don’t mess around with fire. I’m a scardy cat.

What do you think would happen if you drank coke and then ate Mentos? Wasn’t that myth debunked?

What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? I loveeee mashed potatoes and gravy. I like sweet potato fries, but I don’t eat just sweet potatoes. 

Do you like the smell of men's perfume, such as Axe or Tag? I love the smell of a lot of colognes, but definitely not Axe or Tag. Ew. 

What's your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot? I used to love stuff like Pizza Rolls, Hot Pockets, chicken nuggets, pizza, Eggos, and those microwave meals like Healthy Choice and Smart Ones. I ate that kind of stuff all the time, but not so much anymore.

Name one reason why you wouldn’t be friends with someone: If they were arrogant and cocky.

What's your all time very least favorite cereal? I don’t like Special K or “healthy” cereals like that. 

Do you like documentaries? Have you ever watched one and found it boring? Yes to both. 

Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes or pie with your grandma? Sometimes.

Have you ever went into depression just because of one REALLY HORRIBLE day? Depression doesn’t work that way.

Are you easy to get along with? Are you a people person/social butterfly? I think so. No, I’m definitely not a people person or social butterfly. 

What is the one all time most scariest movie you've ever seen in your life? Hm. I don’t know because I’m not scared of horror movies anymore like I used to be. I used to be such a scardy cat. There’s been some I rewatched and I’m like wow, I was scared of that? There are some that are creepy for sure, but I really enjoy horror movies now. And I’m not effected by any of them, like they don’t stick with me or give me nightmares.

We're you ever a fan of macaroni & cheese? Do you like kraft dinner? Yeah. More so when I was a kid, but it’s still good.

Do you and your mom have that motherly daughterly loving relationship? We do. My mom is my best friend.

Do you always like to have a drink with your food? I don’t need to have one, but I usually happen to have something.

Are you scared of online predators, molesters and rapists? Thankfully, I haven’t encountered any of those (that I know of), but I certainly wouldn’t want to. I definitely would be scared.

You have the option to visit Canada!: What place would you like to visit? Lane, where do you recommend? 

Isn't it unfortunate when you get SO sick of a song that used to LOVE? That doesn’t happen much. And if it does, then I just don’t listen to it for a bit but then I go back to it.

What's better, Vodka or Kahlua? Why? Blech.

Do you like Chinese food? What's one of your fave Chinese dishes? I like chow mien, egg rolls, pot stickers, and crab rangoon. I used to love orange chicken, but I can’t eat spicy stuff anymore. :/

Does your tummy make stupid and weird sounds sometimes? Yes, even right after I eat, which completely defeats the purpose. <<< Ugh, same. Or it’ll growl when I’m almost finished and I’m like wtf?? Or it’ll make noises at random times when I’m not eating or feel hungry. I have stomach issues. :/

Do you and your siblings have different colored eyes? My younger brother’s are a lighter brown than mine.

Did the jingle of the ice cream truck annoy you or excite you? I always got excited about it.

Do you think some things are just unbelievably expensive nowadays? Like...? Apple products for sure. I’m such a sucker, though. 

Do you drink to get drunk, or just for the flavor? When I used to drink I drank to get drunk. 

Can you pull off short hair? Do you know someone who can't? I don’t know, but I had really short hair (a “bob” cut) for a few years. 

What's one thing you DON'T have in your purse that you wish you did? I have the things I need.

What do you think of people that talk like a trucker? (Swears profusely): Ehh. It can get to be too much.

Have you ever met a fat man that smelled like a dirty cigar? Uh...

What's your favorite kind of pepper: Green, Yellow, or Red? I can’t spicy stuff anymore. 

When driving, what does the yellow light mean to YOU personally? It means to slow down.

What's the coolest thing you made in sewing class? I’ve never taken a sewing class.

Fave chip brand & flavor: Doritos, Lays, Old Dutch, Ms.Vickies or Cheetos? Doritos Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese. I used to like the Doritos Fiery Nacho and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, but again I can’t eat that stuff anymore.

Does your cat have a really nice coat, or really nice eyes? Why do you assume I have a cat?

Do you like to have ice in your drinks? Doesn't it dilute the drink though? No, I don’t. 

Is the smell of cigars absolutely DISGUSTING? Yes. Cigarettes and cigars make me feel really sick when around them. The smell and smoke give me a headache, make my heart race, and give me nausea. 

Do you get more bad luck, good luck, or a nice portion of both? I don’t believe in luck, but I’ve had my share of hardships and struggles.

Do you like the bands Paramore, Yellowcard and The Acadamy Is...? I DO! =] Yeah. I was really into them back in the day.

Do you like whip cream and chocolate sauce on top of your coffee sometimes? Whipped cream with like mochas and lattes. 

Do herbs, salts and spices seriously make a difference in your meal? Absolutely. Especially garlic. We add garlic to a lot of our foods in my house. It’s just so good.

[thaitung]

Why Banana Bread Is the Official Comfort Food of the Coronavirus Quarantine

Surely, you’ve noticed it: On social media, feeds that not long ago overflowed with pictures of elaborate restaurant outings and dreamy far-flung travels have transformed seemingly overnight. In the age of coronavirus, the endless scroll is instead saturated with images of trapped-inside baking projects, mingled with musings on how to get the most mileage out of dwindling pantry staples. Amidst it all, one baked good appears with particular frequency: banana bread.

Banana bread has always been popular, but something feels different — more important, perhaps? — about these recent loaves. Why do the quarantined masses seek out banana bread with greater fervor than chocolate cake or apple pie? Even savory go-tos like macaroni and cheese fail to stack up. This isn’t just in our collective imagination: It’s backed up by Google Trends, which shows a soaring spike of interest that leaves other daily favorites in the dust.

To understand banana bread’s new role in these strange times, we turned to all manner of bakers — from kitchen novices to professional chefs — and asked: What does banana bread stand for when you’re stuck in quarantine? The most common response might be the most obvious. Unlike other foods, when bananas go limp and mushy, they can be repurposed. Enter banana bread, which is actually improved upon by overripe ‘nanas forgotten in the fruit bowl.

“We’ve been buying more food, which means there’s more opportunity for things to go bad,” said Ori Zohar, co-founder of spice company Burlap & Barrel. Zohar is currently holed up with his family in Baltimore, MD, and banana bread is often on the menu. “Luckily we can save the brown bananas a trip to the compost bin.” It’s a similar story for Betsy Beyer, a homemaker and volunteer who splits her time between Montclair, NJ, and Asheville, NC. “I’ve been spending a lot of time considering how wasteful I’ve been in the past,” she said.

Kyle Hopkins, a Kansas City, MO-based brand ambassador for Boulevard Brewing Company, explained the phenomenon succinctly. “Buying produce is a bit tricky these days,” he said. Bananas, though, are a low-risk purchase. “You eat them fresh or they get overripe and you toss them in the freezer until you have enough to make banana bread.”

Making banana bread as a means of avoiding food waste isn’t a new idea. Although Americans first started eating bananas in the late 19th century, the first banana bread recipe was published by Pillsbury in 1933 in the midst of the Great Depression, another period of historic belt-tightening, as a means of stretching a week’s groceries. Perhaps we’re returning to a Depression-era mindset, a premise backed up by the return of victory gardens, a.k.a. World War II-era fruit and vegetable plots. That’s admittedly not the most uplifting thought, but there are definite upsides to this way of thinking. For one, it’s luring even self-identified non-bakers into the kitchen.

Sarah Tosques, an art director in New York City, said that she made the first loaf of her life this week. “As a general rule, I don’t believe in the consumption of bananas or carbs/sweets,” Tosques said. But all of a sudden, something changed. “I don’t know if the pandemic rewired my brain somehow or if bananas and carbs are just primal survival instincts,” she mused. “All of a sudden this week, it seemed like a necessity.”

Marketing manager Christina Mckenzie in Rochester, MI, said she made her first loaf of banana bread in 20 years after going into quarantine. “It’s just something to do beyond watching TV, working, and reading,” she said. “I have completed six books since we’ve been home these last two weeks. I am a busy person, so baking is a way to do something creative without leaving my home.”

Barrett Prendergast, who runs the Los Angeles-based floral design studio Valleybrink Road, said she noticed the same thing after sharing her one-bowl banana bread recipe on her personal Instagram account. It’s proved wildly popular, particularly with non-bakers. Since her original post on March 18, Prendergast said between 8 and 10 people a day make the recipe and tag her in their own posts. “I think that banana bread is usually a forgiving recipe,” she said by way of explanation. “You don’t have to be a great cook or baker to make it with success. Now that so many of us are at home, people who probably don’t cook that often, are turning to the kitchen and baking banana bread is a great place for them to start.”

It helps, too, that banana bread is the epitome of comfort food. Allison Poris, a New York City-based public relations professional, said she’s turning to her family’s banana bread recipe in these strange times. “While I’m away from my family, and who knows for how long, it brings me a lot of comfort and makes me feel closer to home — even if I’m miles away,” Poris said. “No one can make banana bread like my mom, so I’m trying to follow in her footsteps and master the craft!”

Even some accomplished cooks are opting for comfort right now. Timothy Hollingsworth, the chef of L.A. fine dining spot Otium, said he’s baking plenty of banana bread at home these days. In the past — particularly when he worked at The French Laundry in the Napa Valley — Hollingsworth might have reinforced his loaves with banana syrup, which he makes by gently cooking bananas in a sous vide. But in quarantine, he’s using his mother’s recipe, which doesn’t call for sous vide anything. “I love hers because it is very straightforward, well-balanced, and moist,” Hollingsworth said.

For others, baking banana bread has taken on a more meditative quality. Theresa Talor, a senior data management consultant in Houston, TX, said that baking banana bread has helped maintain her sanity after being furloughed from her job. “I needed to find a creative hobby that used my hands,” she said. “Baking filled that void, mostly because kneading is therapeutic and carbs are tasty.” Zohar agrees. “In general, cooking feels like an active form of self-care, but even more so in these difficult times,” he said.

But maybe the most striking aspect of the dish’s current allure is this: Baking banana bread feels like an easy-to-reach achievement in a time when we’re all feeling defeated.

“Quarantine has definitely changed the way I think about banana bread,” Hopkins reflected. “Everyone is trying to get by right now and it feels good to use the simple ingredients that we have available to us to make a dish that is both incredibly affordable and outrageously delicious.”

Barrett Prendergast agrees. “I love seeing people getting in the kitchen, being proud of their accomplishment, and having the confidence to share it,” she said. In a way, thanks to the Internet, banana bread has become a nationwide baking project of sorts. “There is so much comfort in community,” she said. “I am grateful to be able to connect with people over something like this.”

- Rachel Tepper Paley (kitchn)

[whimsical-jinx]

tagged by my soulbro @sketchingdead thanks bro <3

1. Where is your cell phone? in front of me. playin girls x battle my dude

2. Your hair? on my head lol?? it looks like taeil’s very good era hair but swept to the right

3. Your mom? she fucking appeared behind me just a few minutes ago and scared the living shit out of me

4. Your other half? my ex girlfriend i really don’t believe in someone being “your other half”, like you’re a complete person in and of yourself. but i do believe in someone that complements you, and i don’t think i’ve quite found that person yet.

5. Your favorite food? i don’t fucking know i don’t even eat that often but i like macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes

6. Your dream last night? i don’t think i dreamed last night

7. Your favorite drink? artificially flavored grape juice, sparkling fruit flavored water, and milkshakes

8. Fear? being alone or left behind or forgotten, that which cannot be defeated, the dark, being a disappointment to those that matter to me, and guy fieri

9. Your home away from home? with the people that i love

10. Where were you last night? in front of my computer and then bed lmao what you think

11. Something you aren’t? heterosexual and living up to the expectations set for and upon me as a “talented and gifted” child, only causing me to spiral into a state of deep depression when i could no longer hold onto the pitiful and meaningless achievements bestowed upon me as an impressionable kid and was subject to the so called “positive” stereotypes set upon me just for being born as part of the “smart” race.

12. Muffins? pretty good my dude. banana nut muffins are the best

13. Wish list item? i have so many amazon wishlists. included is the most important: the hatsune miku v3 painted ¼ scale pvc figure with stand included, illustrated by ixima © crypton future media, inc, sculpted by hiroshi aka sakurazensen, manufactured by FREEing, and distributed by goodsmile. also i’d like to have my will to live back thanks

14. Where you grew up? austin, texas

15. Last thing you did? yelled at my horse “friend” duchess of punkcaster for dying while i was trying to look up how to make it not die

16. What are you wearing now? my american horror story tshirt and some shorts

17. Your TV? one is in my parents’ room and the other is in the room right next to the one i’m currently in

18. Your pets? i’ve had over twenty goldfish by now, three turtles that my mom turtlenapped from local ponds, and three lizards i have lizardnapped from my own home

19. Friends? whomst? well i have a lot of people i can call a friend, but the people closest to me are my queer platonic partner @uvirayz and my soulbro @sketchingdead and i love them both dearly

20. Your life? spiralling downhill and out of control. i’m failing four classes, three of which are my core classes, i’m not going to get my algebra 2 credit, that one am suicidal feeling is setting in again, and my toe hurts

21. Missing someone? fuck i really miss one of my best friends. i didn’t hear from him when high school started up until a few months ago and he was really depressed then and i still haven’t heard from him since. i miss my fishbutt so so much

aaaaaaaaaaaa i tag @mrsmorgenstern, @myungsoap, @welldonezico, @scaredycatseungcheol, and @taewoonsgf

[brunhiddensmusings]

let me sit down to three pounds of stone-fruit for my entire caloric intake for one day and have near-fatal diarrhea the entire night and not want to eat the next two days. ill save so much money on food the hurdle is also what some people think of as ‘affordable’ differs wildly some of us would consider a meal that cost 3 dollars or under ‘cheap’, whereas someone else would consider a meal under 8 dollars to be ‘cheap’. some of us may only have a 2 dollar meal some days but other days eat a meal thats closer to 6 but thats less planning and more living life as a human being that shouldnt be judged for grabbing food at the grocery store without first consulting a calculator. the perception of what some people consider ‘affordable’ also clashes with ‘practical’- could i live off of dried beans and rice for about 45 cents a meal? in theory, yes, but then it also takes about six hours to prepare and induces depression from eating nothing but bland starch for a week. could i use a ‘eat cheap and healthy’ recipe for tastier red beans and rice? yes, if i have the seven dollars for the fresh vegetables to add to my dollars worth of beans and rice thus entirely defeating the purpose of eating such cheap food as well as adding another half hour plus of preparation and the risk that half of those vegetables will go bad before i use them. but to the author 4 dollar a serving beans and rice that took 7 hours to prepare is affordable, just not to me whats cheap for the average person? spaghetti, eggs and pancakes, instant mashed potatoes with hotdogs, hamburger helper, canned soup with grilled cheese, egg salad sandwiches, frozen pizza, tuna casserole, halfassed breakfast burritos, macaroni- food thats only a buck or two per serving, actually fills you for a few hours, provides carbohydrates and protein to keep you going, and took less then 20 minutes to prepare what to ‘eat healthy and affordable’ people say? heres a pile of veg that cost nine dollars, will spoil in four days, and you have no idea how to cook in less then three hours. super healthy, so many vitamins, if you want protein stare at some tofu and contemplate your life decisions before trying to apply heat to it yeah, sit down and have half a raw squash for lunch at work i guess its technically cheap and healthy

when will i stop thinking i’m funny tho?

source 

[ecotone99]

[HM] Suicide....

So this is how it all ends. Boxed Lasagna is hanging off the Brooklyn Bridge and staring into the icy cold East River. Not quite the body of water Lasagna hoped to seal his fate with, but by the looks of it, Lasagna has no other choice.

Lasagna wasn’t always a depressed fella. He had high hopes for his life. He always dreamt of the day someone would pick him off the shelf and take him home from the supermarket. Once unpacked, Lasagna would dip into the bubbling hot tub, and a steamy pot of bolognaise would simmer next to him. Lasagna and Bolognaise would then join Ricotta and become the “three best friends that anyone could have.” Oh, how people would enjoy them.

Unfortunately, that hopeful day would never seem to come. Lasagna wasn’t sure why he was never picked. Do they not like me? Am I too tall? Am I too fat? Lasagna grew insecure with each day.

He always looked at Spaghetti with envy. That skinny bitch always gets picked first. And then there’s Macaroni who only gets picked because children like his cute shape. Just throw some fake cheese on Macaroni and now he’s a lifesaver for mom. Stupid Macaroni and his mediocre ways.

When would it be my turn, Lasagna thought to himself. When would someone pick me to take home?

One day, Lasagna sees a frenzy in the grocery store. Everyone seems to be stocking up their grocery carts with food. More importantly, everyone seems to be stocking up on pasta. What could be the reason for this frenzy? Is there a crazy sale on pasta? Is there some pasta making competition with a grand prize for the winner? Regardless of the reason, Lasagna was happy because this meant that someone would finally pick Lasagna to take home.

Lasagna patiently waited to be chosen. Customers hustled and bustled through the pasta aisle frantically dumping pasta in their carts. But still, no one picked Lasagna.

It’s now Day 45 of this shopping frenzy and still, Lasagna collects dust on the shelf. He feels defeated. Rejected. Unwanted. New spaghettis have come and gone, but Lasagna still remains.

Finally, Lasagna has had it and just can’t handle the day-to-day rejection. He decides the rejection is too much for his fragile heart to bear.

This is it. If no one wants me even when everyone is buying all the pasta in the world, then I don’t want to live.

Which leads us back to the very moment Lasagna is about to end it all. Lasagna closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He’s about to jump when he suddenly hears, “Oy, mate, don’t do it! It’s not worth it.” Lasagna looks to his side and sees English Muffin yelling, “Mate, don’t be shhhteeeuupid, get off that bridge.”

Lasagna feels paralyzed. He doesn’t know what to do.

Lasagna’s paralysis is clear to English Muffin, so English Muffin continues, “Look, I know how you bloody feel. I know what it’s like to see all your mates get chosen and you’re left behind. I know what that rejection feels like, but it has nothing to do with you. It’s these shhhteeupid Americans, they don’t understand you. You’re a complex finicky guy who can only be handled in a few ways. These lazy Americans just don’t want to put in the effort. But you have value. Your home country sees your value. Back home in Italy they cradle you between their arms like a cute bebé. They give you the love you deserve.”

“You feel rejected in this place but that doesn’t mean you have to end it all. Look, back home in England I’m the popular guy. Everyone lathers me with the best jam and butter. The Queen requests me for breakfast every day—that’s right, the Queen wants me! Over here, people don’t know what to do with me. I’m usually just part of the Continental Breakfast at the Holiday Inn.”

“But just because they don’t understand us, doesn’t mean we don’t matter. We deserve to live. So how about you step off that bridge and come back.”

Lasagna, moved by English Muffin’s touching words, takes a step back and decides to see another day.

“Bloody hell, Lasagna, you really worried me there for a minute. I’m glad you listened though. You know, we aren’t the only ones who haven’t been chosen. I hear the international aisle is jam packed, but they’re making a real fiesta out of it. Boy do they know how to get through tough times. How about we pop in that aisle and say hello before we get back to our shelves? Sound good, yeah?”

Yeah.

submitted by /u/chef_shamo [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2Kk4eQD

[kidsviral-blog]

Community Post: Ranking The Seasons Of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" From Worst To Best

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/community-post-ranking-the-seasons-of-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-from-worst-to-best/

Community Post: Ranking The Seasons Of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" From Worst To Best

See who lands on top. Warning: Spoilers abound.

1. Season 7

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The WB

Pros: Spike with a soul is a joy to watch (and not only because James Marsters was arguably at his most gorgeous here). His struggle highlights the fine line between sanity and madness and also touches on the shock of change and depression. Marsters is probably the finest actor of the season. Xander hits full maturity and becomes the true hero we all knew he could be. Andrew Wells makes for some pretty quotable one-liners (“Where have you been? This funnel cake is kicking my ass!”). And finally, we got one of the greatest, most moving series finales in television history. Ladies, we know we have the power. Cons: With the exception of two or three actors, everyone felt very bored and tired. It’s understandable, especially from Sarah Michelle Gellar’s point of view, but it still hurts to watch a show that used to be filled with such joie de vie fade out like that. Plus, “The Killer in Me” and “Him” were actual episodes. Best Episode: “Chosen” (7×22)

2. Season 1

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The WB

Pros: Lots of fans are really down on Season 1 and often call it the worst season, but it’s really not that bad. Buffy and her new friends tackle vampires and demons alike, but the stories are representative of things much greater than fantasy adventure. By episode three, we’re deep into mentally abusive parent-child relationships, and by the season finale, Buffy performs her first Christ-like sacrifice to save the world. It’s a solid foundation for the series to come and contains great bits of clever writing. Plus, Buffy’s dress in “Prophecy Girl” is legendary. Cons: The makeup for the demons is pretty bad, and the soundtrack is the musical equivalent of Velveeta macaroni. The quality of the film is worse than even season two, which premiered only a few months after this season ended. “I Robot, You Jane” was an allegory for Internet safety so obvious, it may as well have been a public service announcement. Best Episode: “Prophecy Girl” (1×12)

3. Season 4

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The WB

Pros: Buffy’s in college! This transition was handled realistically – well, as realistically as a show about slaying vampires could be. The drift among the Scoobies was written and performed so naturally, it feels like you’re drifting right along with them. That’s how it happens in real life, too, isn’t it? This is also the first season in which Spike is added to the main cast, and his sudden inability to harm people is one of the show’s best bits. Willow and Tara got together this season in the first female-female romance of network TV, which is still a colossal deal in television history. This was also the only season where the writing was nominated for an Emmy. Cool stuff! Cons: The way Buffy acted around her new boyfriend, Riley Finn, felt a little hollow and un-Buffy. Seth Green’s Oz departed from a show in a terrible cheating scandal. The overall arc of the Initiative and Franken-esque Adam was a little weak and underdeveloped. Of course, the reason behind this was probably because no one wanted to apply that much makeup to the guy… or look at the finished product for very long. Best Episode: “Hush” (4×10, the series’ landmark silent episode), but “Restless” (4×22) is an honorable mention.

4. Season 6

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The WB

Pros: THERE WAS A MUSICAL EPISODE. Better, there was a musical episode that actually tied in with the themes and character hardships and strengthened the sentiment that where words fail, music speaks. Also, the stages of grief and depression that Buffy went through were written poetically and portrayed beautifully by Gellar. The theme of addiction was addressed in Willow using too much magic, which is probably the best and most honest performance Alyson Hannigan gave on Buffy. The fact that Willow turned out to be the Big Bad of the season was shocking yet natural, and it’s still in the top ten most heartbreaking moments on the show to me. Spike and Buffy made for some pretty hot stuff. And the overarching theme that sometimes, the scariest demons are inside you was handled in a way that felt real, not cheesy or forced. Applause, applause! Cons: TARA DIED. Worse, she got shot by Warren Mears, a villain more horrible than Caleb the preacher (Nathan Fillion) from Season 7. She died, and nobody really reacted to her death except for Willow and Dawn, which was a rude testament to the lovely character. Spike tried to rape Buffy in the same episode that TARA DIED. Xander left Anya at the altar when that seemed like the last thing he would ever do. Honestly, Season 6, it’s just depressing. Best Episode: “Once More with Feeling” (6×07)

5. Season 3

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The WB

Pros: Enter Faith, dark Slayer and one of the best examples of character foil I’ve ever encountered. Eliza Dushku has to be one of the best actors the show ever had because when you hate Faith, your blood boils, and when you love Faith, your heart swells. That’s performance, baby. This season featured Mayor Richard Wilkins, the coolest and perhaps funniest villain of the seven seasons. It was also the culmination of the show’s main message: High school is hell. The show was starting to explore more mature themes while also staying in touch with its light, funny reputation, and it was executed well. Cons: Does anyone remember “Bad Girls”? The episode where Buffy embraced her darker side, and she had to try and defeat McDonald’s… I mean, that really fat demon in a Jacuzzi? Yeah, that’s probably season three’s weakest point. That, and Xander and Cordelia broke up when they could have been a Lily Evans and James Potter-type romance. RIP, Xandelia. It’s 2014, and I still have strong feelings about this pairing. Best Episode: “The Wish” (3×09), but “The Zeppo” (3×13) and “Doppelgangland” (3×16) come very close.

6. Season 2

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The WB

Pros: Although not the first season, season two of Buffy was where it all really began. The Scoobies became stronger friends and better fighters of evil. Romances heat up when Willow met taciturn musician/werewolf Oz and Xander and Cordelia finally gave into their sexual tension. Giles fell in love with technopagan Jenny Calendar (RIP). Plus, this was when we were introduced to Spike, who would eventually make the show the legend it is today. The dialogue is on point this season. It’s both witty and emotional, with just as many Buffyspeak quips as truly heartfelt moments (Let’s talk about Whistler’s speech at the end of “Becoming, Pt. 1”, for instance.). The overall plot of the season about Buffy sleeping with Angel and consequently losing his soul is both terrifying and a hyper-realistic portrayal of accuracy. Seeing Angel turn to Angelus is scary, but it’s also kind of fun – props to David Boreanaz in this character. Cons: Because it was the second season and many things were still rough, there were some filler episodes where essentially nothing happened. “Killed by Death”… Buffy gets sick and can only fight while sick. Counterproductive! “Reptile Boy”… Buffy and Cordelia get taken advantage of by a bunch of fraternity boys when they should have been able to tell they were bad news by their frosted tips. I would say “Go Fish”, but at least that was kind of about how attractive Nicholas Brendon is/how well he can pull off a Speedo. Amen. Best Episode: “Becoming, Pts. 1 & 2”

7. Season 5

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The WB

Pros: All of it. Primarily the writing. Season five was the season Joss Whedon and Co. was meant to write. While not my personal favorite season, I can still argue that season five is the most finely crafted year of Buffy that ever was. Everything on the show led up to this season. Let’s zero in on the foreshadowing, shall we? In season three, Faith says to Buffy in a dream, “Little Miss Muffet counting down from 730.” In 730 days, Buffy would willingly give her life to save her sister, Dawn (who in 5×02 is referred to as “curds and whey”). In a season four dream, Faith and Buffy make a bed for “little sis” and in another dream, Tara carefully remarks, “Be back before dawn.” The scrutiny and the detail of this are insane. If anyone tries to tell you that Buffy was just a silly action show, point out these careful details and how well they actually played out. Additionally, season five gave us “The Body”, which according to some critics might be the finest hour in television history (and yet neither Whedon or Gellar received even nominations for their brilliant work). Bravo, Buffy season five. Your writing and acting are phenomenal, bordering on flawless. Cons: Very few, but it was a little difficult at first to accept the Dawn thing. It was that shocking. Once the show made it clear, it was all too easy to hop on board with little Summers. Also, the fact that Riley turned out to have a vampire bite fetish was, for lack of a better term, really gross. And Xander’s hair. It just seemed mean to wear it that way. Best Episode: Since “The Body” (5×16) is TV’s finest, it’s “The Gift” (5×22).

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/bprofitt/all-the-seasons-of-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-ranke-v954

[lillaxtrigger]

The ghostly maid: Dreadful Vengeance

In Pike’s apartment, Trevor was sitting on the couch, depressingly staring into the TV. Pike and his mom stare at the poor sight from behind the corner. “Um, Trevor. Dinner’s ready.” the mom said. “Okay...” Trevor quietly said. The boy rose from his seat and walked over to the table next to the couch. Three bowls of mac and cheese sat warmly as all of the gathered around the dinner table. As Pike and his mom start eating, they see Trevor stare at his meal. “So...How are both of your legs healing up?” the mom asks. “Oh, great. Think a couple more days and we’ll be able to take these casts off.” Trevors head dropped into the bowl of macaroni. “You uh...You enjoy that mac n cheese there buddy.” Pike asked. Trevor simply groaned into his bowl. “I’ll take that as a yes.”. Trevor lifted his head off the bowl and showed that he had some macaroni on his face. “Trevor, I know that your sad that you lost your family fortune to your former company’s executives. But you should feel lucky that we let you stay here instead of on the streets.” the mom said. “I guess.” Trevor meekly said. Pike looked down for a moment before saying: “Hey uh, why-why don’t I take you around town to try and cheer you up? I bet a day of fun will get your mind off this whole thing, waddaya say?”. “Okay….”. After eating, both of them walked over to the arcade. The familiar sight of the bright screens and loud noises coming from the cabinets brought forth a wave of nostalgia. “Ah remember this place? This where we first hung out and nearly broke the pinball table. Hope the staff here don’t remember us.”. “Mmm.” Trevor weakly groaned as he stared at the floor. “Maybe we should pick a machine for you to play.”. Pike looks around and spots a machine with aliens on it. “There’s one you might like.”. The boy dragged Trevor over to the machine and popped in a token. Pike then put his friend in front of the machine and said: “You like these kinds of games, right? Go at it!”. Trevor puts his hands on the joystick and buttons and starts playing. He starts to lift out of his depression the more he played. “Hey, you’re better already.”. As soon as the Trevor was defeated by the game, a loud voice coming from the machine, screaming at him: “You lost! You’ve lost everything! Nobody loves you!”. Those screams sunk Trevor’s uplifting mood back down. Pike walked with him out of the arcade, saying: “Maybe video games isn’t what you need.”. He then took Trevor over to the park, where they saw the lush beauty of the fine cut fields, the cleanly trimmed trees with birds nesting and chirping upon the branches. “Ah, this is more like it. The open air of the city park is perfect for relaxing stroll. To put your mind at ease and away from all the worlds troubles. Even with broken leg, a walk through this place will never cease to relieve. Come on.”. Both of them, with crutches, started limping through the concrete path going across the park. As they strolled, Trevor found the birds in the trees, chirping together in unison. He saw squirrels scurrying along the ground with stuffed cheeks in tow. In the pond, the boy caught glimpses of fish swimming along from afar. These wonders started to lift him up from his sadness. “This...This is peaceful. Maybe I might make it after-”. Out of nowhere, I thunderstorm rolled around, soaking the two of them in the rain. “Never mind.”. The bell to a shop rang as the door opened. The two of them found themselves in the old ice cream shop. “Hey, remember this place, we haven’t been here in a while. How about we get a couple scoops while were here?”. Both of them got their ice cream and sat down at one of the tables. As Pike was eating his scoop, he saw that Trevor was barely touching his. “You know, if you don’t eat your ice cream, it’s gonna melt.” he mentioned. Trevor simply groaned. “Come on. I’ve been trying all day to cheer you up. You’re never gonna get out of this funk of you don’t try.”. “Pike...You don’t seem to understand. It’s not like I lost a game after accidentally throwing it in the fire. I’ve lost everything. My business, my home, and worst of all...my maid.”. Pike starts to look at Trevor with pity. “Simply cheering up isn’t going to fix all this. I don’t know what can fix any of this. I...I have nothing left.”. Pike huffs over to Trevor and says: “Alright that’s it! Stop being sad! There are other people who have lost everything and have only the streets to keep them company at night. They don’t have friends to fall back on like you do.”. Trevor starts to look up to Pike as he speak. “Sure, it may not be the best and you may never get your fortune back, but you can get back up. It may not be instant, but you can recover. We can even get you enrolled in my school. So stop acting like its the end of the world.”. Trevor got up and gave a sigh of relief. “You’re right. I’m sorry I was such a downer before.”. Trevor quickly ate the rest of his ice cream. “Um...”. The boy finished his ice cream and said: “Now lets get back home so get ready for the new dayOw, ow ow ow ow ow ow!”. “I was gonna say you were gonna get a-”. “Brain freeze. I know.”. Both of them got back to Pike’s home when the rain cleared up. Pikes mom saw them come in and said: “There you boys are. It’s starting to pour out there. I was getting worried.”. “Sorry mom. We lost track of time.”. “At least you both are back home. I’ll have dinner ready in an hour.”. “Okay. Imma take a shower.”. As Pike started walking off to the bathroom, Trevor looked at the mom, who was preparing to cook. He walks over to her and says: “Um...Jane?”. The mom looks over to Trevor as he asks: “Can I...Can I help you cook? I’ve never really learned how to make anything other then cakes and stuff.”. “Well of course, Trevor. Why don’t you get me a pot out of that bottom cabinet.”. After getting the pot out, Trevor sat it on the stove as the mom turned it on. “Now, do you see those cans of tomato soup behind you?”. Trevor looks behind him and sees three cans of tomato soup. Jane pulls out a can opener and said: “I want you to use this to open them up and pour them in the pot.”. After the mom put some ground beef on the skillet, she looked back at Trevor to see him inspecting the can. “What are you doing?”. “I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do with this thing. Am I just supposed to hit it with the can opener?” Trevor asked. “No, let me- let me show you.”. She takes both the can opener and tomato soup and shows Trevor how to use it. She clamps the top edge of the can with the opener and starts turning the knob on the other side. As she turned it, the lid was starting to come undone, until the can was fully open. “Oh! So that’s how you get things out of cans? I always thought you just smash them open. It would explain why the chef kept yelling at me for the messes on the walls.”. After dumping the soup in the pot, he sees the mom shuffle the ground beef around, some of the pink meat turning brown. “Um, what are you doing?” he asks. “Shuffling the meat around. It’s how I cook it.”. Trevor looks at the skillet and says: “Can...I try?”. “Well sure. Here, let me show you.”. The boy sees her stirring the beef, with her saying: “See the brown meat mixed in with the pink?”. “Yeah?”. “You’ll want to chop the meat into tiny chunks and start stirring and flipping the pink meat until it all turns brown. After which, we’ll put the meat in the pot.”. “Just like what happened to my mail man.”. When all the meat turned brown, Trevor was about to dump all of it in the pot, until Jane stopped him by saying: “Stop! We haven’t drained the grease yet. You’ll ruin the chili.”. “Oh, right!...how do we do that?”. The mom got out a cup and a skillet lid. “Let me do this part. It’s kind of difficult.”. She grabbed the handle and started turning the pot side way, using the lid to keep the meat inside as the grease poured into the cup. “Ew. That looks like what sweats out of my former bosses.”. “Well that can’t be healthy.”. When she got all the grease out, she titled it back upright and handed it to Trevor saying: “Now we put the meat in.”. Trevor took the meat and dumped all of it in the pot. Jane took out a bottle of chili powder and shaken some out in the mix. “Hmm...I feel like I’m forgetting something.”. “Like what?” Trevor asks. The mom ponders for a moment before exclaiming: “The beans! I nearly forgot about the beans!”. She quickly takes some cans of kidney beans out along with a strainer. “Trevor, here. You this strainer to drain the beans after I get them open.”. As soon as Jane opened up a can of beans, Trevor dumped them in the strainer under the sink, running them under water. “So when they call them kidney beans, they’re not actually kidneys, are they?”. “Of course not. (breaths in) That would be illegal.”. After getting all the beans out, they dumped them in the pot as well. “Whew. Can’t believe I almost forgot about the beans there for a minute. What’s chili without the beans.”. Trevor sees all the stuff in the pot as the mom stirs it around. “Is it ready yet?”. “Oh no no no. We have to let it simmer for several minutes.”. “Like the fat folds of a sunbathing tourist.”. Trevor looks down and hears his growling stomach. “Don’t worry. It’ll be ready before you know it.”. As Pike got out of the bathroom, his hair all wet from the shower, he saw three bowls of chili on the table. “Ah neat, chili.”. Pike started eating as Jane and Trevor began sitting down. Trevor took a spoonful of chili in his mouth and swallowed it. The warmth of the brew dropped from his throat all the way down to the pit of his stomach, making the boy smile. After dinner, all of them went to bed, with Trevor sleeping on the couch. As he looks up to the ceiling, he thinks to himself: “No matter what happens next. Things are going to be okay.”. With that last thought, the boy drifts off into slumber. When they woke up, both Trevor and Pike went into the bathroom to brush their teeth. As Pike brushed, he asked: “So, how do you feel today?”. “I...I feel...I feel good. I feel better.”. “Nice...So what do you want to do today?”. “Hmm...I dunno. We’ve really done everything we can in this town haven’t we.”. “Maybe if Jeff feeling any better, we can see what he’s up to.”. Just then, the mom knocked on the door and said: “Trevor, someone out here wants to see you.”. After spitting out the toothpaste, he lifted his head and said: “Huh, I’m not expecting anybody.”. Trevor walked out of the bathroom and was astonished to see a familiar floating specter. “Bonjour, maître Trevor.” she politely said. Trevor raced to hug the ghost and exclaimed: “Jewely!”. “Ma parole. Was I really gone for that long?”. “I missed you so much. I’d never thought I’d see you again.”. “Well, I would have been back sooner, but you weren’t home.”. Trevor broke off from the hug and said: “Jewely...about the whole Rafortion thing, I-”. “Don’t say another word. After ruminating on the subject, I know that whatever happened back then has no effect on what happens now.”. “It’s not that, it’s just...If I told you about all the stuff we found out, I was afraid you might hate me.” Trevor admitted. Jewely grasped the side of her master face and stated: “Trevor, there is nothing you can do that can make me hate you.”. That statement makes Trevor smile. Pike walks in and says: “Good to see you again, Jewels. You missed a lot of stuff while you were gone.”. “I can tell. I’m guessing you didn’t get those broken legs out of a game of tennis?”. Trevor thought to himself for a moment before saying: “Hey Pike…I know what I want to do today.”. The boy turns to his friend and says: “I want to get my company back.”. The sun was setting on the nice part of town. The birds fly off into the twilight, soaring over a luxurious neighbor hood filled with nice houses. One being home to one of the companies executives. Just as the man finishes his dinner, he puts his dishes away and starts to take off his work clothes to be ready for bed. He heads for bed and starts to lay his head on the pillow, about drift off after another day gone by. The man then hears the sound of something breaking coming from the kitchen. He walks in and sees the plate he just put in the sink smashed to pieces on the floor. As he looks down closer to the broken plate, he sees a shadow rise up beside him. The man looks to his right and sees nothing but the rest of his kitchen. After scoping up the plate shards and putting them in the trash, the business man grabbed a glass of water and starts to walk back to his bedroom. A dark figure stares at him from the window in the hall and soon as he notices, it’s gone. He continues walking down his hallway in a nervous shake. After washing his face in the bathroom, he looks up and sees a hooded kid in the mirror. Upon turning around however, the figure was gone. The executive returns to work a shaking mess, his chair in the board room won’t stop squeaking. “Bob, calm down. I’m sure whatever you saw last night was just caused by anxiety.” one of his fellow executives said. “But...But it-...it looked all too real. I can possibly be imagining it!”. “Relax. Listen, I can point you in the direction of a good masseuse that I know. Maybe a good back massage can get rid of all that stress.”. “Mmm...Maybe...”. The head executive stands up and says: “Great, now if there’s nothing left to discuss on the matter, I would like to turn your attention to blah blah blah blah...”. A thunderstorm falls below a wealthy neighborhood in the dead of night. Another one of the executives was at home, late at night, watching TV. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees something that looked like a person dash through the hallway. He quickly got up from his seat and brisked towards the hall, exclaiming: “Who’s there!?”. Looking inside, he sees the bathroom light leaking behind the bottom of the door. Checking inside, he finds it empty. He hears footsteps behind him and turns around to see somebody heading towards his kitchen. The man heads towards his bed room and pulls out a handgun under his bed. With the firearms fully loaded, he cautiously enters the kitchen pointing the gun straight ahead. He sees nothing when he walks inside, but still being careful. Lightning strikes, showing him a small dark figure right outside the kitchen window. He points straight at it and fires, breaking his window. Looking out, he sees nothing but glass shards on the ground. The power goes out, leaving the house in utter darkness. The man feels around the kitchen and pulls open a drawer. Digging through, he finds a flashlight and upon turning it on, sees something written on the walls in bold dripping red. “You should not have took what was mine!!!”. The screams of the executives could be heard outside the house and through the neighborhood. Two hooded kids stand outside in the streets across the home. Looking in front of theme revealed to be Trevor and Pike under the hoods. “You know, I was against this at first, but it’s actually kinda fun. No wonder famous movie monsters do this for a living.” Pike said. “Told ya you’d warm up to it.”. Jewely phases out of the ground with can of red paint and a brush. “Let us hope that has got the point across. Ce cochon avide!”. “I just wish I could see their faces at their next meeting.”. The executive showed up in the meeting room in a nervous sweat. Heavily breathing as he just told everyone what had happened to him last night. “See! I knew it had to be that kid! Who else could it be!” the previous boss said. Everyone in the room gave one another a nervous glare. “I don’t think I can take this. I’ve dealt with employee strikes and stock crashes, but nobody told me about evil demon kids.”. “What do we do? He might try something drastic next.”. “Maybe we should just give the company back.”. “Absolutely not!” somebody exclaimed. All of them looked toward the end of the meeting table and saw the swivel chair turn around to show the head executive. He stood up and said: “If we give in to these petty acts of terror, then that will show weakness.”. He pounds his fist on the table and says: “I have work far too hard and have stomped on far too many people to get where I am. I’m not about to be knocked of my throne by some dumb brat’s pranks.”. The head executive hit the bed, laying down comfortably on his memory foam bed. He sighed as he covered up under his silky sheets. As he began to close his eyes, he notice that his limbs felt very stiff. He tried getting up from his bed, but couldn’t, as if something he couldn’t see was holding him down. The man struggled in his bed, trying in vain to free himself from his invisible shackles. After a few seconds of flailing about, he stops moving to catch his breath. As he breathed, he saw something rise from the end of his bed, the night sky contrasting with the shadowy figure. Rising fully, it’s head blocked the full moon, casting a shadow over the head executive. The shadowy figure starts to slowly climb up on the bed. The man could only watch, helpless as the figure loomed over his body. It lowered itself above his head, its face slowly coming out from the darkness to show Trevor, giving an eerie grin. “You shouldn’t have took my company.” the boy whispers. The man blankly stares at him, staying completely silent. Trevor’s grin broke to one of confusion as he was expecting some kind of reaction. He poked the mans face and watched it simply fall to the side. “Did he...Did he faint with eyes open?”. As he started getting down, he felt a wet spot and exclaimed in disgust. “Ew!”. In a curious shop outside town, a man in a hood walks inside, seeing robes and trinkets of mystic quality. He walks over to a women behind the counter, who says to him: “Welcome to Madame Rogue’s mystic merchandise, what can I get for you stranger.”. “Um hi, um-uh. Can...Do you have something that can stave off children…evil children with supernatural powers.”. “Hmm…Have you tried black licorice?”. The woman giggles to herself as the hooded man groans. “Don’t-don’t worry. I think I may have something in the back.”. The woman walks through the door behind her leaving the man alone. He see glass sphere with glowing green smoke swirling inside. The man pokes the ball and makes it make a loud wicked laugh, scaring him. “Can’t believe I had to come to this nut shop.”. The woman comes back out carrying a small red statue of a standing tiger in her hand. “This talisman should stave of evil entities from approaching you. Simply have it on your person at all times and you shall be safe.”. “Thank you so much. I’ll take 7 of them.”. Back in the meeting room, the thunderstorm outside started bellowing out like never before. The rain beating down on the back window of the office. Each of the executives carry the talismans in front of them, shaking in the palm of their hands. “Okay, okay. As long as we have these statues. That brat can’t touch us. Now if we can all relax, we can go over the problem at hand. Our employees are still on strike. We may have gotten rid of Trevor, but this only rose their pay by 2%. Apparently, this isn’t enough. We need to find away to make more money to appease them, else risk going into bankruptcy. Any ideas?”. “I have one.”. All of them looked at one another, trying to find out who said that. One of them looked up let out a scream as he saw Trevor’s head, upside down, phasing through the ceiling. The boy came through the roof and flipped onto the table. “I think we should get rid of some excess weight.”. The other executives hold up their talismans in fear as Trevor walks on the table, towards the head executive. “A backstabbing parasite that’s sucking the life out of this company.”. The head executive brandishes his talisman towards the boy, only for Trevor to smack it out of his hands. He then grabs him by the neck collar, lifting him up from his seat, and says: “Somebody like you!” The boy then throws the head executive out the window. The man falls from the window and starts plummet down to the ground far down below. As he could only watches as everything around him rose, he saw Trevor calmly falling down beside. “This can all stop ya know. I could save you from becoming a bloody splat on the pavement.”. The pulls out a pen and paper from his pockets and says: “All you gotta do is sign this form to relinquish the company back into my loving hands.”. “N-Never!”. “Okay, have fun being nothing but a pile of red paste and broken bones on the concrete. Buh bye.”. The executive looks down to see the streets below closing in. “Okay, okay!” he desperately screams. Trevor falls back closer to him, asking with his hand beside his ear: “I’m sorry, what was that?”. “I’ll sign the form. Just stop me from falling.”. “I’m sorry, I can’t here you. What did you say?”. “Please, save me!” the executive shrieks. Trevor gives the man the pen and shows him the contract, quickly signing the dead. Just when both of them are about to hit the pavement, something makes them float gently down. As the man breathes heavily on the ground in a shaking fit, he hears Trevor say to him: “And with those negotiations coming to a close. I have one final word on the matter. The boy lowers himself over the mans face and says: “You’re fired.”. Trevor then flies back up the building, leaving the former executive on the ground, looking up and utters: “...What?...”. The other executives above were looking down the window and saw Trevor flying back up. The frantically backed up as the boy entered the office. He gently lands on the floor, saying to the scared board room: “Gentleman. You’re former boss just signed this contract which gives me all the rights to this company back into my arms. And as my first written rule of acting CEO, if any one of you who dares try to cross me again. You shall leave this company the same way your former boss has, through the window.”. “Um...Okay...B-but there’s still the issue of the employee strike to worry about.” one of them groveled. “Hmm...Tell me, what was the last CEO’s salary?”. Uh, 5-...500’000 dollars a year.”. Trevor whistles and says: “That is a ton. Just enough to distribute to the rest of the employees.”. The rest of them look on as Trevor walks towards the door. “But-but you can’t be the CEO. You’re still just a kid. It’s against the law.” one of the cries out. “Good point. I think I’ll come back when I turn 18. Who runs this place until then I’ll leave all of you to decide. I’ll be returning to my comfy manor, swimming in my giant pool with a cool fruit punch drink on the side, awaiting for that longing day. Don’t make me come back here for a while, boys”. Walking out of the meeting room, the boy made his way to the empty elevator. Where as soon as the doors closed, Trevor starts to giggle, which gradually turns into maniacal laughter. “Oh man! That was so great! You really outdid yourself this time Jewely.”. The ghostly maid came out from behind the boy and said: “Merci, maître Trevor. I was glad to be of service.”. “No no. I really should be thanking you. I couldn’t pull all that off without you.”. “Vous êtes les bienvenus.”. Trevor, Jewely, and Pike walked through the front door. Trevor took a deep breath and said: “Ahh. Glad to see after all this time, the old place hasn’t changed one bit.”. “You’ve only been gone here for about a week.” Pike adds. Jewley floats over to one of the tables and rubs her finger on the surface, collecting a fair bit of dust. “Oh mon cher non. Quite a lot of dust has gathered since I been gone, hasn’t it. I better get back to work.”. She was about to fly off, but stopped when Trevor said: “Jewely, wait!”. The specter turned to her master, who said to her: “I’m glad to have you back Jewely.”. “Glad to be back, Maître Trevor.”. Jewely flies into the halls. Both boys go to the living room, where Trevor flopped on the couch. “Mmm. Good to be home.”. He sees Pike sitting down next to him, who says: “Yep.”. Both of them stare to the light blue sky through the giant hole in the wall. “Weather cleared up real nice.”. After staring out for a little while, Trevor asked: “So what do you wanna do tomorrow, after school that is?”. “Don’t you have something to do tomorrow like extra lessons or work.”. “Doubt it. After the scare I gave those executives, I doubt they’ll try to over stress me like that again. I finally have more time to do fun stuff.”. Trevor exhaled, put his feet up, and said: “Let the good times start rolling in.”. Turning the other way, he sees Hazel sitting in the chair next to the couch. “Hey Hazel. What are you doing up here?”. “I’m up here to talk to both of you about your payment.”. “Um...What?” Pike asks. “That experimental potion I gave you.”. She takes out the bottle the potion was in and says: “You used all of it! I told you to only use a drop! Do you know how expensive this was to make!?”. A gasp could be heard come from in the hall. Jewely flies into the living room, saying: “Hazel!”. The ghost approaches the witch with a smile, saying: “Merveilleux! It’s always a pleasure to see you. Even more of a rarity to find you out of the basement. What brings you up?” “Jewely, darling. It’s always nice to see my favorite ghost. I was just working out a payment with your master.”. Trevor stared for a moment before exclaiming: “Hold on! You knew she was under the basement this whole time?”. “Of course. Hazel has been living under us ever since this mansion was built. Nearly a century now. Who do you think I got la médecine éternelle from.”. “You gave one of my best potions to this brat? What a waste.”. “Oh he’s not that bad, mon amie. He does have his moments from time to time.”. Jewely starts to giggle, while Trevor says: “Jewely, who’s side are you on?.”. After the ghost stops laughing, Hazel looks at both boys saying: “Any who. “Since you’ve wasted all of my experimental potion, both of you are going to pay me back.”. “Lady, I don’t know what else you want? We already gave you all the gold in the house.” Pike said. “Oh no. I don’t want gold from you.”. “You...don’t.” Trevor asked. “No. Instead, the both of you are going to pay me through good old fashion work. The both of you are going to deliver my potions whenever they’re needed.”. “What!?” both of them shout. “Lady. You teleport potions. Why do you need us?” Pike asks. “Because my teleportation magic is not always the most accurate. Some costumers came to me demanding refunds for broken bottles or never getting their potions. Having you two makes the delivery more guarantee they will arrive safely.” “Do you honestly expect us to be potion delivery boys?” Trevor rebutted. “Never fear you two. With me by your side, those deliveries with be easy.” Jewely said. “I’m afraid you can’t go with them Jewely.” Hazel said. “Why not?” Pike asked. “Both of you need to learn the value of hard work. If Jewely helped you, where would the lesson be in that? Starting tomorrow, whenever I need to send a potion, the both of you will make the delivery. Understand?”. Trevor starts to cry out load: “Nooooo!”.