#derpy author

[tanyabadtime159]

More @lyss-butterscotch 's iterators! I hope you don't mind me drawing more of your cute designs in my derpy art style 😅

[lilithrebellion]

It’s Amaya’s birthday! ....Which means I drew Yui!😂😂

Duality of Yui is just very....*swoons*...yeah.😊

Best present I could ever give myself.

[pengwenstudios]

I'm trying to fill the last two pages of my sketchbook and this derpy man is born. Say hello to West Skyward he is a no thoughts head empty and will go for the eyes kind of guy!

[stardust-andwine]

Writing is weird because one day you'll have an idea for a character in your head, then you get to writing them and try adding in elements of the romance subplot you know is gonna be there because that's how you roll and then for the first time ever find yourself just flat out struggling with it. Like, there's a chemistry, but it's decidedly not romantic and you know forcing it will ruin it so you move on. Maybe they are meant for their best friend? Their banter is sweet.

But that doesn't work either.

So you sit down and have one of those mental heart to hearts authors have with their characters and listen to what they have to say instead of trying to put them in a certain box and get smacked in the face with the biggest duh moment ever.

OR: How I figured out my MC was Ace.

[speedworker]

Oh yes, more sketches! Processing summer drawings. My wolf Natra, her sister Ren on first art. On second - PONY! And me. My pony Dynamica and An. In addition to them, Derpy and Rainbow Dash

[theinkymystery]

I am so sorry!

Hahaha! I did a dumb trying to answer an ask on my phone! I didn’t get to answer! So I’ll do it here!

To anyone that wants to give us art but don’t know how, send it to mercoweeditor@gmail.com

M handles all the beautiful art that you all have gifted us! And if you rather we don’t post it on the blog or at the end of chapters please tell us when you send the art.

Thank you so much! You are all amazing!

[teresalace]

🥵The Bastard Takes You Home (Courtin Cowboys the bastard x G.N Reader)

• Words: 4.2k

• Triggers: Usage of word Member, non consensual humping, In the woods, Minor spoilers, Ditzy reader

Author notes: WHere's the bastard x reader fics at?🍳👄🍳Back from My long ass hiatus and now it's studying season for abit, going to work on unfinished stuff for yall, hope you enjoy guys! (tho this isn't the most satisfactory story I've written so far personally 🥴🥴 Or maybe I wasn't in the mood anymore) As always, minors beware AND SUPPORT @ffishstickks COURTIN COWBOYS!!!

~~~~

It's 1863 and you're on a journey with an old friend to the western town of Summerfair.

Luckily or not for your incredibly charming friend, they managed to win every heart from left, right and center while you were settling down and becoming a decent inn's cook. Last thing you heard from your dear friend, landing themselves in some love scuffle before ending up with a dopey shepherd, was having an all lovey dovey time in that barn. . . 

The clink of a beer infront of you pulled you from your thoughts, full and chilly when you grabbed it.

Downing it immediately, the noisy world around you came bubbling back to life. The bar, ever so lively with patrons chatter and piano tunes, made you feel less alone. 

"Thanks bartender," you smiled with a bright buzz, "I'll cook you up something good next time for the free drinks." HIC.

You stood from the bar seat. A solemn head nod from the bartender bids you farewell.  

Out of the saloon you went, a pleasant buzzing throughout your body, still in the middle of the quiet town.

Just as you walked a step to balance yourself, something below stopped you. Looking down at the ground by your shoe, you couldn't believe it!

You picked up the 100 coin pieces, quickly pocketing it into your pouch and gave it a pat. A cheerful smile making it's way on your derpy face.

What a good omen! 

Maybe it could mean it's time for you to find somebody to spend the rest of your days with. Good omens don't always come your way. 

.   .   .

Hah, what funny things were you thinking now, the sun has barely set. 

The loneliness must've begun to sink in after overhearing a married patron brag about one of the multiple lovely times he's had in the saloon. Oh how suddenly you wished to be living in those romantic stories, to be the one held sweetly underneath moonlight and stars. 

It would be so nice, you thought wistfully.

In your slightly drunken walk down town, head high in the clouds, you smacked right into a charming familiar face who you haven't seen in a while of a week.

"(Name)! Great timing, I've got so much to tell you– What are you doing daydreaming outside the inn– you'll get all sweaty and red." Not waiting another second or for a response, they dragged your bubbly-self into the shelter of the inn. 

Your body felt cooler already, calming you down as both you and your friend plopped on the reception seats. The buzz in your blood slowly going away. 

HIC. 

"Thanks, buddy," you pushed down an incoming burp from ruining whatever you wanted to say. "Thought you were busy loving that Shepherd."

"I was, just LAST night." They chuckled, looping their arm around yours. "But never too busy to visit my dearest friend, so tell me, what's gotten you looking so glum? I hope this town hasn't bored you yet." Oh no this town was the most exciting thing to you since you weren't close to anyone besides your friend and the friendly inn keeper (who provides rare ingredients for your cooking per request), barely boring but then again you were simple to entertain.

The one and only friend loyal enough to stay with you through hard times while disappearing into thin air when not needed. The friend you needed right now to make a life-changing decision, drunk as can be.

HIC.

"I've been wanting to settle down you know. Maybe in this town or the next one, I don't wanna keep–" A large burp from your guts interrupted your heart-to-heart talk.

"Burping?" Your friend teasingly finished the sentence.

"–Being alone after a long day."  You breathed out a sigh as they watched, sobering up slowly. "It sounds nice enough to imagine having somebody to go back home to." You hoped you didn't sound ungrateful to them but it just isn't the same anymore, you couldn't always rely on your friend for emotional support. Both of you knew that. 

A short pause. 

Giving their earnest attention to you, your dear friend pulled your hands into their lap and held them. "I truly hope you find what you're looking for, (Name), take  your time and see what or who life can surprise you with!" 

When they comfort you like this and talk sweetly, it's no surprise they've got the whole town smitten for them in an instant. Even though you were generally known as their best friend, it still came with some advantages– free drinks sometimes– and more if the time of day was right. You were proud to have a wonderful friend like them and hope to have an equally amazing partner too. 

Wishing that day came sooner.

"(Name)," their voice brought you back to earth and to a pair of concerned eyes. "I think you need to down a cup of water or two, you must've had too many drinks." 

Smiling unashamedly, "only one but guilty." Your answer was followed by a snort response from them. 

Your friend's eyes twinkled like an idea popped in. "I'll tell you what, after you have some water, why don't we go fishing together? Might as well when the weather is lovely and the sun is still out." You took a brief minute to think. Fishing wasn't the most fun activity, you've tried before and preferred to buy your fishy ingredients from the market but with your friend as company? It started sounding not too bad of a plan.

"Hmm. Alright, let's do it," you agreed, shrugging. What could possibly go wrong other than feeling boredom and being sprayed with water or slapped by some fins if unlucky. They cheered loudly and shook your hands together in theirs, earning a glance from the ever-smiley handsome inn keeper.

"Don't you worry, it'll be fun!" They grinned enthusiastically, getting to their feet and pulling you up along. "A warning, you'll need some patience and a strong grip because some of those fishes are slippery fellows." Too late to back out now when you heard that. 

"Great. I could use a challenge now and then," was what you said until both you and your practically beaming friend left the inn, following the forest path and arriving at a creek they discovered in the woodside of the town. 

Fresh minty breezes, vibrant greenery and shrubs surrounded you in every inch though you didn't expect for the fishing spot to be at an unimpressive small creek. 

"This place is where I usually fish! You can even forage some of them delicious berries if you walk a bit and turn right." They squeal showing you, delighted and setting down their basket full of fishing supplies near the creek edge, not too close to be worrisome.

Its deep and calm blue waters glittered in the sunlight while both you and your friend settled down on the flat grassy patches (that you assume have been made by their many trips here), under the cool shades of the forest. 

Curious, you stared at the creek then asked them. "If you've been fishing here a lot of times then there's no way there'd be any fish left, right?" They turned their head to face you, giggling as if you said something funny, pointing to the basket.

"You'll see, (Name). Just give it a try and wait, this town never seems to run short of anything. Really." That felt like they weren't referring to the fish anymore but something else entirely you couldn't understand. 

Moving on from that before the small talk ate away the remaining time before sunset, you and them began unpacking stuff, each person equipped with a sturdy, metal fishing pole in both hands. Looking back at the waters then to the wriggling worm on the hook of your fishing pole, some part of you doubted this would work and be a waste of time. 

Sure you couldn't see through into those unclear waters but could there really be fish swimming in there? 

The answer, a shocking yes with a side of boots and weeds. 

No kidding patience was important, you fished more junk than actual fish whereas your friend beside you managed to capture the most. 

"Really wasn't expecting this much fish, wow," you exclaimed at the sight of the bucket full to the brim with a colorful variety of fish, some you've never seen before in all your years of cooking. 

"What did I tell ya?" They set side their fishing pole, grinning, barely a drop of sweat on their shining face.

"You were right." 

"Psh, of course I'm right," they teased, leaning against a tree. "Told you to go exploring the town some time, there's plenty of surprises to experience. But a word of caution, don't go exploring at night. There's nothing much to see than maybe a pervert here and there doing their business."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

Everything was peaceful, with your friend relaxing beside the full bucket, you laid on your side on the soft cool grass, bare feet pointed towards the creek. 

"Remind me to bring more buckets next time we go fishing," you slurred, lips slowing down in movement.

"Hah, will do, (Name)." Their giggles fading into the breezes.

Gentle rustling of bushes lulled you to doze away and drape your eyes from the world, no longer hearing the shrills from the birds overhead. 

It felt like nothing could ruin this perfect day. So you decided to fall asleep, waving off your persistent friend to go on back without you, trusting that they would leave some fish behind for tonight. Though fishing alone wasn't fun, they were right about the weather being lovely, almost too lovely to not take a nap.  .  .

Unfortunately the short nap you originally intended for, lengthened to an hours long coma. Only when the sudden burst of froggy croaks and loud crickets chirp disturbed your sleep, did you realize the sun had been replaced by the brightest full moon. 

You hugged your form, waves after waves of chills beginning to settle in your bones. 

That was one dangerous nap, to be waking up at near midnight in the woods. Nope, you got to head back to the inn and fast.

Rustle. Rustle.

Instinctively you held your breath, paused in the middle of pushing yourself off the bitter-cold ground. It could just be the wind? Or an insect hopping about. Yeah, yeah it must be. 

Convincing yourself that it was nothing, no, it had to be nothing, was a tough feat but somehow you managed to carefully get up. 

The tip of your shoes accidentally kicking over something nearby, oh- it was the bucket of fish! How nice of your friend to not leave you without some company. 

It was too dark though, you put aside the urge to bring along the bucket and opted to only placing it in your spot. Hope the fishes wouldn't spoil at sunrise. 

Then off you went, towards the inn.  .  .

There was a small problem in your navigation skills when everywhere you turned to appeared to have the same vaguely shaped trees, it was black as the night sky above too but fortunately you walked out of the creek area. 

You think the hard ground beneath your shoes feel familiar, that is, until mud and softer patches of soil messed with your senses. Great, you stood there in silent frustration.

Maybe you should've explored the woods like your friend suggested before as now you surely were lost. Not that it was their fault for leaving you behind. 

Rustle.

.   .   .

RUSTLE. RUSTLE. 

Louder now, you heard it, the rough shaking of bushes close by. Your heart pounded. 

That wasn't nothing. 

Loud enough to freeze you in place, just as you looked in the source's direction– 

Something heavy tackled you to the ground from behind, the side of your face smashing against dirt and mud as that thing landed on your back.

–Oh no, bear. A huge bear in these woods and no warning signs in sight about it?! Your friend would've told you, scratch that, would've not even mentioned fishing had there been a wild animal–

"Grrrrr." 

Hot air fanned the nape of your neck as it sniffed you over like you were its next meal. 

Frozen and taking in shallow breaths, your mind was focusing too hard on the sharpness of its talons pressing against your arms. Almost warning you to stay still, not that you could successfully struggle against its monsterous weight before being crushed to death.

Wait, did bears know how to cage people? 

"Grrrr," its breath leaned down and edged the curve of your ears. Please get it over with, you were awaiting, hopeful for, a quick and painless death at this point.

Panting over you, in the silver of moonlight you caught a side-glance at the wild animal or at what you initially assumed to be that had you pinned down. 

It was no animal but a humongous bare chest man, canines glinting as he grinned down at you.

Long shaggy pitch black hair that resembled fur than human hair, earthy toned skin that faded to an inky black down his forearms. 

Was half of his body covered in mud? 

Ah, your neck ached from trying to get a better view of him. Surely even a beast of a man like himself would help if you explained yourself, right? 

"Uh– excuse me, sir." Huffing, he dragged his gaze from your body to your eyes as you managed to turn your face with small relief. 

"I uh just went fishing and lost my way from the pathway to town, could you please help?" It never hurt to attempt for anything but you had a moment of regret as the stretching silence that followed was less than helpful. 

His claws, or sharp nailed hands, shifted from your holding down your arms and now dug into the sides of your waist. Maybe he didn't intend for it to be painful but his weight wasn't one bit comfortable.

"Heh." 

Low and rusty, the beast, ops you meant, man let out a gut-busting laugh before removing his weight on top of you. Finally you could gasp for a lungful of air, for how long you laying there for the former freezing soil under you felt warm. 

The man hadn't spoken anything but It must be a good sign! 

"Oh thank you, sir!" Just as you gathered strength to push yourself up, a big hand forced you down hard. Admittedly it wasn't your first time dealing with an unexpected kissing to the ground. 

Thankfully none of the mud or dirt made in your mouth but why on earth did he? 

"Uh sir, weren't you going to let me go?"

A mightier growl escaped from him, showing teeth this time around, scaring you in place as your voice gave out. Again. 

In that second, you remembered this man was no friend, a practically nude stranger who roamed the woods, clearly not dressed to make any good impression. But at least you were given some breathing room, so he wasn't evil. You think. 

Another low growl, this one directly over your head. 

Staying silent became the best option. 

He must've sensed something changed as the sound of him sniffing you grew louder, stopped, and with an unimaginable swiftness you heard an audible long rip in your outfit. 

Chilly air instantly flooded the areas where fabric used to be, your skin felt sensitive. Your eyes flew wide, more opened and shocked, heart trembling at the noise.

RIPPPPPPP. 

Another long tear by no doubt his claws. Oh no no no, your poor overalls, your trousers! 

Your thoughts sizzled, face flushing when his claw-like hands ran down your exposed skin, like in search of something– 

The jingle of coins startled you. No, oh no, he was aiming for your money all along! 

In horror, you watched as he picked a few coin pieces out of your pouch and pocketed it somewhere, tossing your still full pouch away out of the moonlight.

Your fear changed to actual frustration. The nerve of him! To be robbing you in broad moonlight, why, you ought to teach him a lesson and give him a good head smacking. . . If only he didn't have his hand and knee pressing down on your back.

 .  .   .

Wait a second, you felt his knees shift near your legs. Then finally in your delayed mind, you came to a terrifying realization that the hard thing pushing against your lower back was most likely a gun– 

"Uh sir! Please let me get up, surely you're satisfied?" You spoke in a pleasing tone, trying to move a tiny bit under his body weight. Heart thumping.

 He had better be satisfied after taking a piece of your precious money. 

He didn't move off you. Still staying there on top of you, sniffing? Looking around the moonlit forest as if he had forgotten your existence being squashed beneath him. The cold ground painfully pebbling your nipples against the ground, evident of how long you had been in that darn position.

"H-Hey! Could you please get off–" Something hot and stiff poked at your waistline, long and harder than any boulder. He shifted his body or must've crouched over you as his gigantic shadow covers you whole.

The hard poking grew in size and so did the fear in your heart. Wait, how did you even feel that, this almost entirely nude man has no pockets to carry a gun, it didn't feel metallic in the slightest so what was poking you– Oh.

Oh dear no.

Don't look down, don't look down– 

"GRRR." Oh what was he growling about this time?! He already took your money, what else was he going after now. You stilled.

Then he began moving it, slowly rubbing his hardness in that one spot below your lower back. Like he didn't know what he was doing but you weren't going to correct him. 

Already uncomfortable just lying there being used as some scratching post for an animalistic man who robbed you not so long ago. . . Wait, in this position, a strong heat radiated from his lower body and grew closer and closer- 

He began rubbing himself on you, soft as if testing the waters at first than harder. Vigorously humping himself against your exposed buttocks, warming up the cool skin and pressing you into the earth further. 

Breathless and at a lost for words, you shivered while struggling to stay put. Heart wildly beating in your chest like it was screaming for help, so loud you'd think the entire forest could hear it. 

He wouldn’t hear it, he kept going, the hardness of his member cutting into you and you felt it.

A slimy slick spreading across your bottom, thick globs of heaviness sliding down and sending tingles in between your thighs. The tingles grew everywhere, and you became aware of a throbbing, not from the man’s flesh, but yours, as if your body was enjoying this terrible torment forced on you. 

Please let it end. 

He would slow down to your momentary relief, only to speed up at an alarming rate and burn you from behind, skin to skin. The smell of the earth and everything became a blur.

The rumour of the beast in the woods was no exaggeration, like an animal he wouldn’t stop pleasuring himself on you and all the while you silently prayed for it to end as it felt like hours had gone by like this. 

Kept going and going, barely any drop of sweat on him all the while you felt like you were being cooked from the inside out, sticky, clammy skin, and out of breath.

The persistent throbbing, hot and needy, inside of you couldn’t cease to stop craving. . . Touch, any kind of touch to relieve this ugly tension fully other than being kneaded into the ground. After this ordeal you were going to ask the pretty saloon lady for help, you won’t be able to last another night without some help.

Finally his rubbing slowed down, hardness swelling impossible hot against your ass and as if his throat was caught on a fishing hook- a deep grunt expelled from his chest and like dread, you felt it, almost a bucket load of slime spilled over you, your hips and down your thighs.

"Now could you move, please?!" That must've sounded more aggressive than you intended it to be but it worked, he crawled off you but the stickiness remained. Before you could muster up the energy to give him a piece of your mind, he slowly growed before bolting into the shadows. 

You were alone again, thank goodness.

Sluggishly, you rolled onto your side, flinching at the disgusting globs of slime slide off of you and pool underneath. Taking a moment to rest and mostly to catch your breath, lungfuls of air expanding your chest, feeling crumbs of soil stuck to your skin. The moon was blinding you by the second the longer you stayed there in the open. . . Exhaustion and the cold lulled you to almost dozing off but it was too dangerous out here, you slowly rose, grabbing your pouch of money, swaying like a brittle leaf in the wind as you walked on the path back town. 

.  .  . 

Maybe because you hadn’t been seen by them in a while, your friend instantly burst out of the inn and instantly spotted you, supporting your weight and walking you to the bathroom as you confided in them about the attack.

“How horrible! What a disgusting thief,” your friend spat while helping you change out of the torn pieces of fabric that used to look like an outfit as you quickly covered yourself, hiding the slime on your skin from being seen. They continued ranting, dissatisfaction written all over their face. “I’ve had the same experience weeks ago, it’s always the money that they want. I even told the sheriff about it but there’s been no news yet, shucks.” 

You nodded agreeing, not that you told them exactly all the details but enough to draw the conclusion that you’ve been unwillingly robbed. Worried about you, your friend promised to stay the night and went to visit the sheriff to give your account. The innkeeper was a trustworthy fellow who wouldn’t let any criminal in.

After a long, long much needed bath, the heat within your body eased down to a tolerable simmer, especially places where that beast’s release reached. Like where your holes twitched and- Ah, stop you shouldn’t be thinking of that! Huffing out a frustrated sigh, you stomped past a mirror into your room, not feeling brave enough to take a look at your no-doubt reddened face.

It felt like heaven being comforted by your dear friend and sleeping together in the same bed, your curiosity popped out again- wondering what became of that beastman- if just giving the sheriff a report was enough for his capture. Maybe you should do something, see if you could mark a spot in the woods where that man would visit, it would be a ton better than waiting around for good news. Right! 

Determination filled your blood and forced you onto your feet, heart thumping fast in almost excitement.

The moment you stepped out of the inn, it felt like a terrible idea. With no plan in mind, you snuck away from your snoring friend in bed and proceeded on the moonlit path towards the dreadful forest. 

You heard a hurt groan before you saw the source. A man who should’ve already fallen dead, the naked beast with a weapon deep in their forehead spilling blood. Black blood trailing down his rough face, dripping onto the ground. 

Witnessing something incomprehensible had you rooted to the spot, it was a scene out of those horror tales your gram would tell to get you and the other children to sleep, of a monster impossible to defeat. You should've never curiously followed a beast of the woods. Now you would never be able to escape his territory, entirely roamed by him. How could you even attempt to stop him from carrying you when you see not even a dagger lodged in his forehead deterred him from staying alive. 

Could you call him a beast? He sniffed the air like one.

Even beasts can be killed but not this man. 

He froze like he heard or smelt something.

What was far worse than a beast is an unkillable one, and worse than that- was a beast who has found its prey. You. 

It didn’t take long for you to sprint away out of instinct but it was too late, he had seen you, and with one long arm he caught you mid-air and carried you on one broad shoulder, whimpering and struggling to no avail. Deeper into the woods where you’d never be able to escape, where only wisps of light and fireflies lit the mornings and darkness reigned the rest of time to come. 

Deep below the neck of the woods, rumours of the dangerous beast have now changed due to the rare sightings of him not only alone- there was another one who stood by his side, a beast more humane looking yet scared and equally as nude. No one dared to overstay in the woods anymore, not wishing to join those monsters or become their next meal.

~~~~~~~~~~

[nonominchan]

🌹 Love Languages with the JJK Men🌹

🌸 ✨ or, their terms of endearment for you and how they express their love ✨ 🌸

Do not plagiarize or repost my work onto other platforms, especially tiktok! No plagiarism or hate please.

Author’s Note: god I spent all day on this and accidentally deleted it so here it is again I’m sorry everyone

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Toji Fushiguro, Naoya Zenin, Choso

Pairings: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader, Nanami Kento x fem! reader, Toji Fushiguro x fem! reader, Naoya Zenin x fem! reader, Choso x fem!reader

Content Warnings: use of y/n (your name), reader is fem!reader and uses she/her pronouns. nothing explicit but mentions of sex (specifically withholding sex in an established relationship) in Toji’s part, some mentions of violence/gore/blood in Choso’s. Slight spoiler warnings regarding Choso if you’re an anime only fan. Naoya being a misogynist and just…being Naoya in general? There’s some cursing and bad language.

🧿 🧿 🧿 Gojo Satoru:

-would purposely call you the most obnoxious names ever

-the farther you get into your relationship the more convoluted the pet names will get and the more you learn to just go with it.

-he’ll bounce towards you in public, saying in a sing songy voice, “I’m here, my little hazelnut and mocha cream topped with blackberry jam filled chocolate sprinkle topped choux pastry ball!” without even missing a step, and he’s not even out of breath. You will definitely get a lot of weird stares because he was not even trying to be quiet.

-over time, his pet names for you start to sound more and more like obnoxiously long Starbucks orders.

-will call you cutesy names too. Like (y/n)-chan, or a cutesy version of your name that he does for everyone (I.e: Nanamin, Megumin).

-they’re really random and you wonder how he even comes up with them but they’re weirdly endearing? they’re very much Gojo Satoru.

-for example, he calls you bubbmon because he thinks it’s cute and derpy looking and it reminds him of you (reminder that it’s canon that he’s a digimon fan lmao).

-he starts to get you all the merch he can find of bubbmon.

-for your one year anniversary, he gets you a cheap plastic figurine of bubbmon he got from one of those 100 yen gachapon crane games that he spent over three hours trying to get. You love it.

-ok, hear me out. Exchanging weird gifts is your guys’ love language.

-you start to call him a furby and for his birthday you get him a custom modified furby that you actually paid A LOT of money for. It looks just like him, with white fur and the blue-ist blue eyes (btw I love how the fandom calls him a furby I mean it’s true tho). It even came with a little blindfold and everything!!

-when he gets it, he’s delighted. he realizes he loves it because you obviously spent a lot of time and money into getting something really dumb that you knew would make him laugh. He’s received plenty of extravagant gifts in his life but he’s never felt anything when receiving them. Your gifts just hit different. He doesn’t know why, but like, they’re just so funny and clever and he loves that the gifts you exchange make absolutely no fucking sense to anyone other than you two.

-he carries the furby around everywhere. Like, he shoves it into the face of anyone who will listen and starts bragging about how his wonderful, perfect “bubbmon-chan” got him this customized western toy that reminded her of him.

- at first, while it was sweet and only a little bit obnoxious, the first years didn’t mind. But gojo started to bring the thing with him everywhere. He would have it sit next to him during training, he would even occasionally ditch class and have “Furby! Gojo” be perched on his desk as his “substitute.”

-yeah, you had unknowingly created a monster.

-the furby honestly freaks everyone out.

-his students unsuccessfully try to destroy it, but it turns out he extended his automatic infinity to also protect the furby. They find this out when Shoko tries to put out her cigarette on it and fails when he leaves it behind “to watch over the students” while he’s on a mission.

-“why can’t you two give each other flowers and jewelry like a normal couple?!” Nobara groans, as she vents to you, “I swear, that thing is sentient, its eyes follow me where ever I go.”

-“I think it’s kind of cute,” Yuuji says, “but, ah, it’s also creepy. Like one of Yaga-sensei’s dolls.”

-“do not associate me or any of my creations with that thing,” Principal Yaga grumbles as he passes by.

-But still, it makes you feel all warm inside that he treasures your gift.

-and like, you have to be at least a little bit insane to be with gojo. Just run with it. Embrace it. Because you know he will.

-gojo calls you more cutesy pet names too, just less often. Will coo “my little wife” whether you’re married or not, or “honey-chan”.

-might ironically call you “babe” or “baby” but it gets less ironic over time

🥖 🥖 🥖 Nanami Kento:

-I personally can’t see him as someone who calls you by any pet name at first lol.

-he would never use “babe” or “baby” I can’t see him ever doing that.

-literally will always respectfully refer to you by your name with “-san” even when you’re dating.

-when you’re close enough that he’s privy to your goofier side he calls you “fool” or “idiot” but ofc in an affectionate way—he calls you this as he smiles fondly.

-when you know each other for longer though he slowly becomes less stiff and drops the formal “-san” but he still doesn’t use any cutesy nicknames

-he’s more about showing his love rather than just talking the talk ya know? He’s that kind of guy

-he never dates casually, if he does date he’s looking for something long term and he makes this clear to you from the beginning. At the same time he’s not the most emotionally open guy and it takes a while to get him to put down his walls, so your relationship, while steady, will progress relatively slowly.

-after years and years of dating (yes it takes that long) he’ll finally start using pet names. You’ll probably be married by that point.

-But like, old fashioned and classic ones like “sweetheart”, dearest”, “dear,” “my love,” “love”. When he’s feeling particularly amused by you he calls you “dove” or “my little kitten” or really any animal you remind him of

-I really feel like of all of the characters listed here he’d have the most personalized pet names for you? Whatever silly or random thing that reminds him of you—ex: a detail or character from a story he read or a foreign dish he’s tried.

-For example, he teasingly calls you his angry little kitten because he revealed to you that before you two were acquainted with each other, he had seen you yelling at Gojo for dumping an entire mugful of sugar into your drink before stealing it for himself.

-You tried to jump up to get the drink, slamming your hands against Gojo’s imposed barrier. He had been holding the drink over his head, sometimes turning away to sip from it while shoving your irate face away with his large hand. You started to tear up in rage.

-Eventually Gojo disabled his infinity, infuriating you even further.

-“Aw, you cryin’?” he mocks, laughing while you tried to clamber over his ridiculously long body before giving up, but not before kicking him in the shin and stomping off, causing him to trip and lose his composure enough to spill a bit of the drink on himself.

-Nanami remembered smirking at the sight of Gojo doubling over from your kick—more so in surprise than actual pain, and mentally thanked you, a stranger at the time, in his head for providing him with a small moment of entertainment. After all, watching Gojo being humbled was always appreciated.

-his eyes, hidden by his goggles, had followed you for a reason he didn’t care to think about, and he found himself curious about you, which was…weird. No one really piqued his curiosity. All those idle thoughts vanished, however, when he saw your sad eyes and the tears that ran down your face.

-Oh.

-it was obvious to him that you were sad, and that it wasn’t about the drink, or even about Gojo, who had most likely stolen your drink in a misguided and idiotic attempt to distract you and lift up your mood.

-His hands twitched, and to his own disbelief, he found himself wanting to wipe your tears away. He wondered what had made you upset. Before he could think any further, you were gone in a flash, walking past him without noticing him at all.

-he admonished himself for these ridiculous notions, and was also confused. he wasn’t partial to public displays of emotion, he found them distasteful, even, especially from others. Why had he wanted to comfort you? It’s not like he, a stranger, could walk up to you and catch your tears in his thumb as he tells you it’s alright. Besides, he’s far too awkward and tired and broken to offer emotional support he probably can’t provide to someone he doesn’t even know.

-months later, he finally met you, and found that you were quite professional and subdued. Not at all like the first impression you had unknowingly provided. This piqued his curiosity even further.

-“you reminded me of a little cat trying to pick a fight with a tiger,” he recounted fondly, “when you were trying to get that drink back.”

“An asshole tiger,” you grumbled, “and he’s more of a beanstalk than a tiger, he still owes me for that drink, I paid for it—“

He presses a kiss to your forehead to appease you, “I agree,” he hummed, “Gojo-san is indeed an asshole beanstalk.”

-“more importantly,” he continues, “why were you crying?” He asks. You flush, immediately knowing what he’s referring to.

-“I was not!” you yelp.

-“you were,” he replies calmly.

-“fine,” you grumble, “maybe I was. But I don’t remember. It was something stupid, and that’s all I know. Probably waking up with a crick in my neck, or train delays, or the power in my apartment going out, I just felt really shitty and tired.”

-“and yet you recall that Gojo still hasn’t paid you back for the drink he took from you on that exact day?” He responds with a raised brow. You’re about to stutter out an over defensive and indignant response when you spy the corner of his mouth lift up. Kento? Teasing?

-“if you must know,” you say in a muffled voice, flopping face first into your pillow, “I remember that day only because a certain handsome stranger with the lame glasses I saw sometimes around campus saw me crying with snot running down my nose, and I started to break down and cry in embarrassment again as soon as I got home.”

-when you don’t hear anything for a while, you raise your head from your pillow. You see him, stifling his laughter, his broad shoulders shaking in exertion.

-“Kento?” You ask, concerned. You reach out to touch his shoulder.

-he grabs your hand and squeezes it gently before starting to laugh. The sound was hoarse at first, as if he hadn’t laughed in a while, before it settles into a full, rumbly timbre. The sight of it is odd. You don’t think you’ve ever seen or heard him laugh. You’ve seen him amused plenty of times, sure—your ridiculous antics made that possible—but you’d never seen him laugh in what seemed like pure, unbridled joy. You decide you like how his laugh sounds, and at that moment, you vow to do whatever it takes to hear his laugh again.

“I see,” he finally says, regaining his composure “well, I thought it was rather endearing.”

-he never uses these pet names in public, only during intimate moments shared between you two. You’re more likely to hear him call you a pet name when it’s his day off and he tucks a strand of your hair under your ear as he mutters it under his breath quite casually than when you’re both grocery shopping outside.

🗡 🗡 🗡 Toji Fushiguro:

-if you ask him to call you anything lovey dovey he’ll laugh at you for five minutes straight

-most of the time he’ll just call you “dummy” or “idiot” while fondly ruffling your hair.

-he will also call you “dumbass” or “loser” but not seriously, it’s his way of showing affection. He’s emotionally constipated.

-will call you “babe” or “baby” if you’re mad at him and he’s trying to get back on your good side.

-will even call you “sweetheart” if you’re super pissed at him and not having sex with him as a result.

-ngl most of his pet names for you are insults but you don’t mind because it’s pretty obvious he means them affectionately.

-yes even in soft moments lol, for example when you accidentally make him worried

-like when you forgot to charge your phone and it died while you were out with friends in the evening. when you didn’t answer his calls he panicked and thought that someone who held a grudge against him (very likely considering his line of work and his past) killed you or kidnapped you. Maybe someone related to one of his victims or someone from the Zenin clan.

-So he’s on this downward spiral of despair, thinking to himself that he ruins everything when you unlock the door and pad in. He just stares blankly at you as you unwrap your scarf. Before you can say anything he just wrestles you into a hug and just says gruffly, “you made me worry, asshole.”

-when you respond by teasing him for going soft on you he’ll give you a noogie.

🍎 🍎 🍎 Naoya Zenin:

-will call you by insulting nicknames, but unlike Toji, he will mean them and they are 100% malicious.

-if he’s in a good mood he’ll call you “wife” instead of his standard “woman” or “girl” (you’re probably in an arranged marriage tbh, I don’t see him dating casually bc he probably sees himself as above all that).

-most commonly will point at you or just call you “you”.

-however I know that you Naoya stans are out there so here you go:

-with Naoya it’s all in the tone and the nuances. in the rare, minuscule chance that he ends up somehow developing a soft spot for whoever he marries, he’ll call you “wife” but in a softer tone, muttered under his breath so no one else can hear. If the tips of his ears are bright red and he looks flustered and annoyed instead of his standard smug shit eating expression that means he’s a goner.

-before, when he’d call you “my wife,” or “woman” by saying those words through gritted teeth and barely contained rage, while gripping your wrist possessively when a visiting member of the Kamo clan started to get awfully touchy with you, you knew that possessiveness was akin to that of a spoiled child not wanting to share his toy with anyone else.

-after you start to understand each other though, and he saw the same Kamo try to get closer to you during the next big gathering, he’d ask them what they’d want while referring to you as “my wife”. This time, he’s not clutching your wrist to the point that you wonder if he’ll leave bruises, but he’s taking your arm so that it’s firmly intertwined with his. He’s angled his body so that you’re leaning against him. This time, he’s protective. And probably also possessive and jealous but hey this is naoya we’re talking about.

-it becomes increasingly more obvious that you’re the apple of his eye when you fall ill with a mild cold. He grabs your face and turns your head from side to side, trying desperately to remember any of the remedies his nannies had used for him. He doesn’t, sadly. He’s never had to care for anyone, including himself—there were always others to pamper him. So then why does he feel so helpless?

-He wants you to get better. What’s that tightening feeling in his chest? Is he coming down with whatever you fell ill with?? It’s called thinking about a person other than yourself, Naoya.

-He’s literally stomping around your bed giving pointless demands to the servants and the healer, checking up on you like a nagging mother hen.

 -he literally demands the most expensive doctors and healers to be sent to your room to treat you. he’s even about to have renowned doctors from overseas be flown to your residence before you point out to him that by the time they’ve arrived, you would have probably recovered from the little cold you had.

-to the surprise of the servants, he doesn’t snap at you for speaking back to him or correcting him, but instead reluctantly agrees. When he feels everyone’s stares, his face flushed and he yells at them to get back to work.

-As you’re drifting off to sleep, you could have sworn you saw him wipe your forehead using a cool cloth with clumsy fingers and whisper your name. You blink in surprise because he’s never actually used your name before, at least not in such a sincere way.

-Later, when you wake up, he denies this. “What are you doing getting delirious and hearing things when it’s supposed to be a mild cold? Not that I’d know, I’m not weak like you so I don’t get sick. Hurry up and get better, will you?” (a few days later he falls ill with the same cold you had. He is very uncooperative with all the doctors who are called to treat him, and it is only until you coax him into letting you feed him a spoonful of cheap over the counter cold medicine that he calms down enough to fall asleep and recover, much to everyone’s annoyance).

-soon, word spreads that the spoiled, selfish Zenin heir has a soft spot for his wife. Naoya will punish any servants who overhear him during his soft or vulnerable moments by assigning them undesirable tasks (like cleaning up Naobito’s room after he’s gone on his weekly bender).

- When his family members and fellow members of the Hei unit start teasing him for being such a sap, he challenges them to a “friendly spar” and then beats their asses.

-basically if he has feelings he has no idea what to do with them.

-just to be clear, even if he does fall in love with you he’s still just as unbearable, he’s only slightly less intolerable to you.

🌙 🌙 🌙 Choso:

-he doesn’t get the concept of a pet name or a nickname.

-“your name is y/n, why would I call you anything else?”

-it takes some time. He does think of some pet names for you and Yuuji, but at first they’re just “*insert hair color*-haired love of my life-chan” for you, or “pink haired youngest baby brother-chan” for Yuuji. He’s trying his best, ok?

-the closer you get, the more enthusiastic he becomes. He thinks of some weird ones, like— “my bright sun for whom i would kill a thousand men for and countless more if you so desired,” which was quite a mouthful but oddly sweet.

-but as he grows more comfortable and familiar with the concept, he starts calling you “my muse” or “my light”.

-in settings where you’re alone he calls you “love”. It sounds right somehow. It’s something that you call him too and he likes that it’s a word that you can exchange with him too.

-he also has pet names for you based on inside jokes. When he starts to get better at pet names and suggests that he retire “my bright sun for whom i would kill a thousand men for and countless more if you so desired” because he’s now embarrassed by it, you pout, because you actually like it. When you ask him why he doesn’t want to use it anymore, he flushes before saying, “it’s not accurate. You’re not the sun.”

-“hm?” You respond, listening attentively. He hesitates before clarifying, “The sun is destructive, it makes its presence known immediately, it’s capable of great pain and fear—“

“ah, so did you decide on this after you got that nasty sunburn when we went to the beach for the first time last week?“ you teased, smirking. His cheeks darken and flush and he looks away.

“Sorry,” you say, fluffing his pigtails, “please continue. I want to hear the rest of what you have to say.”

“—If anything, you’re the moon. A gentle, calming presence.” He buries his head in your shoulder, “beautiful.”

-“I like that,” you respond thoughtfully, “I can be your moon. Yuuji can be your sun. He’s capable of great destruction and he’s so bright it’s impossible to not notice.”

“That sounds better,” Choso breathes, closing his eyes, “My moon. My precious moon.”

“But Choso?”

“Hm?”

“Would you still kill a thousand men for me if I wanted you to?”

“Yes, I’d kill a thousand men for you. I’d create a crimson sea of blood for you to bathe in if that was what you wanted.”

“…that’s so fuckin’ awesome,” you say under your breath.

“I never knew you were so violent, my moon,” he says.

You snicker in response, continuing to play with his hair.

-however, afterwards he calls you “my bloodthirsty moon” or “my violent moon” sometimes as an inside joke between you two, in addition to “my moon”. At first he does this teasingly but it just comes out naturally as time goes on.

-he doesn’t really like using these terms of endearment in public, it just feels right when it’s you two (and Yuuji).

-remember, while he can be very affectionate, he is also capable of being cold, detached, and stoic. This is especially the case if he’s in protective mode (the killing a thousand men thing was a joke but also not really, he would kill for you without hesitation). When he’s worried about you when you’re in public, that’s the only time he’ll use a pet name for you because he won’t be thinking things through, and it’ll just slip out.

-so one day, you guys find yourselves in a supermarket where they have an extravaganza sale. There’s a line of super aggressive old people and housewives ready to run to the aisles and buy as much food as they can. You had come along and brought Choso (for help with reaching some things in the higher shelves). While you were grabbing a 70% off packet of premium cut sliced beef, a particularly aggressive housewife grabbed it after you, trying to swipe it. You tugged it back, and soon the housewife tries to shove you. Before she can, however, a cold hand grips her wrist.

“Don’t you dare,” a cold voice whispers into her ear, “lay a hand on my moon ever again.”

The housewife shrieks in terror as she sprints away.

“Geez,” you say, “and I’m the violent one?”

He doesn’t answer, and only holds your hand.

“Choso?” You lean in to whisper.

“Hm?”

“Thank you,” you say, pecking his cheek. You smirk as you see him flush heavily.

You later find out she complained about you guys to the manager, and you’re banned from the place. But they let you check out your stuff for the last time so you end up getting the premium beef for yourselves and make a really good hotpot so who’s laughing now bitch.

[lnkedmyheart]

Final thoughts on the Beast movie. Spoilers under the cut.

Aku, Atsushi and Dazai made the movie worthwhile for me.

The cgi is so bad it actually became trippy after one point.

Dazai's office looked like an elongated hotel lobby rather than a cool mafia boss' office.

Idk how I feel about the exclusion of the many scenes Aku had but I liked the scene with the kids.

Beast SSKK supremacy.

I still dont care about Oda much. He's fine.

Oda's death scene was actually derpy with the whole stage acting style monologue Oda was doing, the awkward way he toppled off made me giggle.

Rui is such a masterful actor like holy SHIT. He really brought out Dazai's desperation by the end.

Speaking of which I actually like how much more emotional Dazai is in the movie.

The Shibusawa vs skk scenes were an odd choice to me but it did show how Chuuya didnt trust Dazai in this universe. Like Dazai really did destroy his most important relationships (Chuuya, Oda, Ango, Atsushi, Aku, like holy shit Dazai!!???)

I could not stop smiling at the sskk scene with the tea. So precious. I really only ship them in beast for a reason and the movie lived up to it for the most part.

Chuuya losing his shit after Dazai dies and Atsushi's face in the final shot actually are such an interesting retcon. Yes, reel me into that sequel with that hook. Gimme evil Chuuya and vengeful Atsushi and so much angst!

Also i love how the Chuuya finale was written by Asagiri, love when an author can switch up endings after a while like we all wanna do it but Asagiri actually did it.

Overall rating: 7.5/10

Very enjoyable in a "turn off your brain" way, Rui and Hashimoto are the biggest contributors to most of the score, I actually love the ending, the cgi was very...yea...

[tanyabadtime159]

I made new profile pic with my favorite Celeste characters :D

[nanjokei]

the deen higurashi animes are not that bad people just watched them when they were 11, heard people say they were bad, then read the vns much later and went "well its not exactly 1:1 so it really is bad"

you really have to appreciate the work chiaki kon did to make the original higurashi anime coherent in 26 episodes. sure its not perfect, but compared to most vn adaptations, are you kidding? deen higurashi is perfectly watchable. it's no clannad but i consider it a successful vn anime adaptation that stands in a field of failed vn anime adaptations. it is great as long as you stop after finishing kai and do not touch anything that came after it

also this is only tangentially related but since i see people sometimes lying that ryukishi may not approve of this, or especially of the umineko anime. not true! the umineko anime is a different matter because the production of that anime was a mess, the story was releasing AS THE ANIME WAS AIRING, and ep4 was horribly adapted by virtue of it literally COMING OUT LITERALLY AS THE ANIME WAS AIRING. ngl though, as much of a mess it was, it was one of the first anime i genuinely followed from the first episode to the last as it was airing. and what an anime it was. absolute trainwreck, everyone was happy that EP3 was actually adapted pretty well after how goofy EP1 was and okay but derpy EP2 got sometimes, then came EP4 and uh. haha.

but i digress... my point with this^ is that a lot of people have delusions of grandeur of original authors hating an anime adaptation just to justify their own hatred of it. i see it all the time, especially with old adaptations of shounen manga superseded by either remakes or sequels (rare, but i'm thinking of bleach here). people have this long standing urban myth that togashi HATES hunter x hunter 99, but the only recorded opinion we've ever gotten of it is that his assistants would watch it while he worked away on the manga itself, so he didn't have an opinion on it. a lack of an opinion does not signify an opinion. if anything, there are more clues pointing to togashi being involved in the anime in at least some capacity— namely the bonus stage arc, which has foreshadowing for things that hadn't even happened in the manga yet at the time, and was allegedly based on scrapped drafts that togashi had.

really, lately "mangaka is involved with every step of the adaptation" has become synonymous with quality, but manga artists are manga artists. not all of them know what decision is right for the animated medium. i have yet to see an anime turn out especially good because the studio kept the mangaka in the room making whatever level of decision they can claim happened. (to be honest, i kind of doubt it anyway, but i don't care.) it's dumb, but i miss the era when adaptations were actually about adapting to a new medium and having *shudders* oh noooo spooooky filler to help the story flow better, or hell just diving deeper into certain scenes and expanding on them, rather than having a big jack off contest about who can draw the closest to the manga without any deviation so a bunch of salivating geeks on twitter would tweet at any public figure involved in the anime with either praise or insults both 100% lacking in any critical merit

at least.... can we stop animating at 300 gigasharts per second to appeal to twitter shounen meatheads so we can get anime longer than 13 episodes again. im fucking sick

[dewi205]

Nico di Angelo Headcanons/Fic Prompts

- sometimes he sings Hazel to sleep

—— like Italian lullabies or idk Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift

- his eyes are actually gold like Hazels but it looks dark because his hair is always in his face

- when Nico is tired or just waking up he calls Hades “papa” or “padre”, Persephone “mamma Seph”, Thanatos “Uncle Than”, and Cupid “the b*tch”

- he likes wearing a small half man bun (with his shoulder length hair) when training

- he sees Lester (mortal Apollo) once in Camp and immediately tosses a wad of cash toward his head and sprints away

—— Lester starts chasing him screaming “ANGELLL!!”

- when he was in Tartarus and about to be put in a jar he bit one of the titans that put him in the jar and ripped a chunk of flesh off one of the titans’ hand, he kept the flesh in his mouth and rationed some of the meat to eat before eating the pomegranate seeds

—— he has always been eating meat raw-ish (it comes from his mothers side of the family)

—— baby has adorable sharp as fuck canines, comes from his mother

- it’s impossible for anyone to lie to Nico because there are no lies in death and shadows (it’s what Nico uses to judge souls), death consumes everything and Nico is The Prince so the only other person higher than his authority is Hades and Persephone, even Demeter needs to do as he asks when they’re in the Underworld

—— (Solangelo) Apollo is also the god of truth so if Will inherits that trait as well then the Will/Nico is just the most brutally honest couple that acts as judge, jury, and executioner at camp

- he is ambidextrous, so is Leo

—— as another way to commemorate his first human friend he learnt how to use Jason’s gladius and duel wields his sword and the galdius

—— he fights and texts at the same time

- Nico is absolutely horrible at archery but basically forced multiple archery experts (no one was spared, he asked dead people, gods, and living) to teach him their skills

—— as a way of coping with Bianca’s decision to leave him for Artemis

- one summer the heat actually became so ridiculous Jason walked up to Nico during breakfast, picked him up and put Nico on his lap to cuddle with an ice pack

—— Nico was only okay with it because it was so early in the morning he couldn’t work up the anger needed to shove Jason off (or eat, Jason ended up feeding him)

- the gods really want to make Nico immortal because he manages to keep relative peace in Olympus, and let’s be real, they can’t do shit without Nico and Hades smacking some sense into them

- sometimes when he’s REALLY happy and excited he doesn’t smile he just wiggles his toes, it’s always hidden under his shoes so no one can tell when he’s happy but yeah —— when he’s talking about mythomagic but restraining his enthusiasm he does toe wiggles

- Nico came out of the war with Gaea with Marie Antoinette syndrome, half of his hair turned white during his 3-day stay in the infirmary the night after they got his shadow traveling thing settled —— people saw his gold eyes during that time as well so people genuinely thought he ascended and became his namesake—an angel —— he meticulously dyes his hair black because he thinks the white hair means his body succumbed to weakness due to stress, Nico doesn’t like when his body betrays him like that (his partners are getting him to work on it)

- Hades and Persephone call Nico “Niccolò” and Mr.D calls him “Nico” ( no one knows why Nico is his favorite)

- he never grows taller, but Hazel also never grows taller, Hades children now forever exist as tiny and cute

- Nico can activate small parts of his Roman aspect as well, but it’s like really derpy (when he wants money he gets a diamond launched at him)

—— when Nico and Bianca were children Nico once really wanted this chocolate bar but didn’t have money so he wished reeeaaallly hard for money and was showered in like $20 in euros, dollars, yen, etc (he jumped like a startled cat, went up like 5 feet istg)

I don’t write fics or draw but if someone wants to use my headcanon please do there is no need to ask.

[ask-de-writer]

IMMORTALITY? A Grumpy Goat *tail* (Part 3 of 3) : MLP Fan Fiction

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IMMORTALITY?

A Grumpy Goat *tail* (Part 3 of 3)

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

© 2014 by Glen Ten-Eyck

7865 words

All rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions. I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.

///////////////////////

Attempting to ring the church's bell had caused a swarm of hornets nested in the steeple to dive into the congregation.  The resulting panic left several unconscious ponies near trampled in the church.  They alone had no stings!

Sawnax got a big spread of pictures by himself.  Fleeing with the rest of the congregation, he got stung twenty or more times on forelegs and neck.  The mobility cart ramp was too steep and he lost control, careening through a hedge laced with poison oak and poison ivy, he hit a family on their way to a picnic in the park and overset, banging up his good hind leg in the process.

The family was not hurt, beyond a few bruises, but their picnic basket and contents were ruined.  Among the pictures were some of the fallen Sawnax rummaging the wrecked basket and scarfing sandwiches.

The entire collection of Celestian priests got out without a sting.  They fled through a back door, overgrown with the new ivy.  Poison ivy, that is.  They might as well have painted themselves with the itch causing, blister raising, oils.

To cap the disaster, some ponies working in the church kitchen fled and left a stove burning.  The resulting fire was a Special Procedures 23 - Toxic smoke requiring evacuation and decontamination of the downwind area.

As Romaine observed, in print, it was not as bad as the Ponyville Elementary School disaster of years ago, which Sawnax was also involved in. *(for details read Caramel Treat's Lunch!)*

We kept finding more and more to giggle over as we read Romaine's excellent prose.  She got almost the entire Special Edition because she “just happened to be on the scene as the disaster unfolded.”  With her camera!

As a side note, the fire spread through all of the ornamental shrubbery and the up the walls of all the Celestian buildings.  All of the poison oak and poison ivy infestation was burned out, along with destroying all of the structures involved.

Clarence and I gave a High Hoof to each other!  Frankly, it went even better than we had hoped.  Not one pony killed or even seriously injured but LOTS OF PAIN in lots of butts, and elsewhere, of course.

We both gave Coalsmoke a hug of congratulations.  Her enthusiastic return hugs made the whole enterprise worthwhile.

The next day, we were sitting out in the sun, looking over the Ponyville Books and More listings to pick out our next Daring Do book.

We could hear them even before we saw them.  It was a regular parade coming up the trail.  Coalsmoke grinned as she caught sight of them.  She offered, “Grumpy, you should get that trail paved!  I would bet that Clarence could give you a special deal on good intentions to do it with!”

To make things perfectly weird, the leader of the parade was not using the trail.  Derpy was flying, low and slow, so that the others could follow.  She landed on the ledge without hesitation and carefully opened her mail pouch. Ceremoniously she handed me a letter.  The envelope had a well known seal.  Almost every pony or horse in Equestria has seen it.  Darn few have seen or handled an ORIGINAL ROYAL SEAL of the Twin Thrones of Equestria.

I did not have time to open it just then.

The clowns arrived to put on their show!  

Celestian High Priest Hortimer was almost unrecognizable under the mass of bandages and itch relief creme.  The remainder of the priesthood were too.  It was obvious that the treatment was not helping all that much.  Which suited me right down to the ground.

There was Sawnax in his mobility cart, being pushed by two husky ponies.  He had a cast on one hind leg and thick bandages on the other.  His rump was swollen and covered with plasters where boils had been drained.  Both forelegs and his neck were covered with the lumps of hornet stings.  Covering almost all of stings and swellings were the rashes and running sores of the poison oak and poison ivy.

There was another group in formal mourning attire.  They were accompanied by Mortimer “Mortician” Mollycoddle, D.E.L. (Doctor of Equestrian Law), who was looking sour.

The one who seemed out of place was wearing the uniform of the Ponyville Fire Department.

The act was led off by Hortimer demanding, “You must heal us of this vile result of your Necromancy!  Your evil burned down our church!”

“Hortimer, ol pony!  Necromancy is against the Law!  Magic, in general, is not.  Be clear.  How could I cast any spell against you?  A Pure and Honest Heart is absolute protection from  all the influences of the Evil One.  As if evil has some one simple spring outside of themselves and ponies are innocent of harboring rot in their minds.

“You are a personal and perfect refutation of your own claim.”

Hortimer gesticulated at his fellow priests. “We are grievously afflicted by your evil magics and Necromancies!”

My fleshless skull, which should have been expressionless managed to convey complete confusion.  “What evil magic, Horty, ol pony?  You knew that your church was infested with poison oak and poison ivy.  Every reader of the Prancer knows it too.  The news went public on Nightmare Night.

“You and your fellow con artists ran through a known hazard and got a case of poison oak. That is your definition of evil magic and necromancy?  You do a stupid thing and therefore it is some EVIL GOAT'S fault?  Wow.”

As I was shaking my head, I noticed that we had company.  Just down the hill, Romaine was snapping away with her camera and taking notes.  Clarence managed to utterly fail at looking innocent.

The stallion in the PFD uniform spoke up, handing me a document as he did so, “Grumpy Goat, Sir, the Battalion Chief wanted you to have this to defend yourself from baseless charges like the ones just made.  This is the formal investigation report on the fire and surrounding events.

“The entire thing, including their rashes, was caused by their negligence.  The details, including all of the ordinances relating to publicly accessible buildings that were violated is here.”

Hortimer looked horrified.  “How could you say that this disaster is our fault?  We were victims! Just look at us!”

Coalsmoke said acidly, “Look at you?  Why?  You have always been so ugly that the bandages are an improvement!  And you are still ugly!”

That brought a reaction from one of the group in mourning clothes.  “You and that damned goat murdered my dad!”  He was pointing dramatically.  He waved a copy of Coalsmoke's contract with me and yelled, “Here is the proof! Dad found this and made a secret copy!”

Coalsmoke looked utterly pained as she replied, “How is that proof of anything?  Secret copy?  Just go to the Ponyville Hall of Records in the City Hall.  There is a publicly registered copy there for anyone to look up.  Grumpy's Contracts are ALL publicly registered.”

I was even more surprised when Mort spoke up.  “I do represent the heirs of Clyde S. Dale, but this part of the case is baseless and I have so advised them.  You are correct.  They are due a substantial sum from his will.”

Coalsmoke nodded emphatically. “They are.  They are getting over half of it.  The insurances were formally changed to my name and they knew it.  I have copies of the acknowledgements.”

Mort nodded.  ”I am aware of the issues.  I have advised them not to sue on the insurances.  Their waivers are clear.”

One of the ones in phony mourning demanded, “Whose side are you on?  We hired you!”

Mort, imperturbably replied, “Yours.  Coalsmoke is an expert at these things.  I have examined your case and hers.  She is taking care of you through the will.  She has made no effort to cut you out.

“This will come as no surprise to you, but Mister Dale was terminally ill, with a failing heart. His sudden death was probably a mercy.”

“So, dad was dying, we all knew that!  We takes all that insurance money that she is stealing from us!  She done nothing for it!”

Mort told him bluntly, “I have told you that I am on your side.  This advice is as direct as it can be.  If you try to sue her, you will waste what you are going to get from the will and wind up owing her a large indemnity.  That is a simple fact.”  

I was taken aback.  Mort the Mortician was an HONEST LAWYER?  The world was capsizing!

That was when Sawnax spoke up in a pitiable tone, “That there stuff is all well and good, but what about me?  I gots the same rashes and all that Hortimer and the other priests got and was stung besides!  I got TWO bad hind legs now, too!

“I thunk you said that I could do whatever I done before.  I done break my leg trying.  Then they was the boils.  I gets that took care of but they still hurts until they heals!

“I is in a lot of pain!”

I knelt in front of the mobility cart to face him eye to eye socket.  “You dictated most of what is in the contract, Sawnax.  You wanted to live a very long life.  You wanted your mind to stay sharp.  You wanted to be able to do and enjoy what you could at the time that we signed.”

I sighed.  “You are getting all of that.  Immortal is NOT invulnerable.  It has one advantage in this case.  When you heal, you will be just like when you started.  It will just take time.  Sadly, one of the things that you enjoyed was and is swiping lunches and otherwise cheating.  Banged up, dazed and dumped out of that cart, you found sandwiches that were not yours. Scarfed them up, too.

“All inside the contract.”

He turned misery laden eyes to me and asked, “What can I do abouts this?  It ain't none of it workin' out like I thought.

“It hurts.”

Said it before.  I am honest. Evil but honest.  He did actually ask for advice. “You only have three things that you can do here, Sawnax.

“First, you can simply let the contract run.  If you do, you will have the least trouble if you do your level best to be a good pony, living a good and honest life. You will have good times and bad.  That's life.  A long one.

“Second, you can simply repudiate the contract and take the lifespan that you are given, free to do or be whatever you want.  You will probably live longer if you follow the advice of your doctors.  You lose your money paid but that is all.

“Third, you can commit suicide. You still lose your money but you are out of the whole suffering thing.  

“Experience talking here, immortality is not all fun and games.”

He nodded and said softly, “I needs to think.”

I simply backed away.  As I did, I saw the pony in the PFD uniform talking to Hortimer.  He had a paper.  When I heard, “But surely, as a church, we are exempt!”

The PFD pony politely replied, “I am afraid not, Sir.  You maintained a nuisance and failed to either report it or let the city know what efforts you were taking to eradicate the nuisance.

“Under both ordinance and Kingdom law that makes you responsible for all costs connected to it. We have decontamination efforts under way at seven residences and five businesses that were downwind and contaminated by the smoke from the burning poisonous plants.”

Hortimer pointed dramatically at me and exclaimed, “He must pay it!  He cursed us with those diabolical plants!  It is his fault!”

“Me?  You mean that if cash is on the line, I am mightier than the Goddess that you worship?”

“Do not blaspheme!  Of course Celestia's Power is greater than your mere diabolic dabbling!”

I laughed as he was trapped by his own reflexive arguments.  “So, it is your responsibility after all!  Celestia must be gravely disappointed in you for trying to shift the blame!”

His horrified expression was almost reward enough.  Almost.  I had to add it.  “You did not need me to clear up the poison oak and poison ivy after all!  Celestia's Holy Fire has removed it all!”

That did it.  Delightful.

Sawnax said, “That was sharp, Mister Grumpy.  I probably gots no right to ask it but if I repudiates the contract, would you do me one favor?  You is getting to keep a lot of gold.”

“What favor is that, Sawnax?”

“Can you, like, speed up my healing some?  This is a real misery.”

“I can do that, Sawnax, but I will lay a heavy one on you for it.  You must stay honest and not cheat anypony, horse or goat until you are healed.”

Clarence had his wings up and his teeth were chattering as he giggled.

Derpy tugged at my foreleg. “Mister Grumpy, about the letter, will there be a reply?  It is post paid by their   Highnesses.”

With Clarence, the Litch King and Coalsmoke looking over my shoulder I opened the letter.

“To Grumpy Goat:  Hail and well met!

We, your Princesses, have heard rumor of you practicing unlawful Necromancy.  We have looked deeply into the matter and have found no evidence of such criminal activity. The casting of Glamors and other such magics is perfectly legal.

Further, we have found that you have honestly registered all of your contracts, which appear to be in the form of bets that certain events will happen within set time frames.  You hold the stakes and, if you win, keep the coin.

It is a remarkable coincidence that ALL of your contracted events have happened as spelled out. Always through some routine or other natural means.

With your consent, we should like to visit your cave to discuss a few such “bets.”

Yours, Celestia   Yours, Luna.

As Derpy flew away with my reply, Clarence and Coalsmoke both suffered major giggles.

~THE END~

<==PREVIOUS

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[dailyadventureprompts]

Campaign Start: Windfalls & Wyrmlings

It takes a village to raise a child, lets just hope the village isn’t razed in the process

Setup:  It’s been years since the dragon Zaurigel terrorized the skies over the hinterlands settlement of Colver’s Deep, brought down by a now famous team of hunters who’s names have been sung across the land ever since. 

Our story does not begin with these slayers, instead we follow a band of hardluck sellswords and their tagalong companions who missed out on the dragonhunt altogether, and have only now stumbled into the events that will make them into heroes

Despite the beast’s glorious death, no one was able to find Zaurigel’s lair you see, and the vast horde of wealth that was rumored to be contained within. No one, until one of the party managed to discover a deep cave out in the mountains that bore clawmarks and telltale blue scales deep within its reaches. Assembling a few of their trusted friends together to brave against the dangers of the wilderness ( and help carry all the loot), they set off to make their fortunes.  Traveling to the horde is not all that dangerous. Sure it takes a bit of climbing, and in the dragon's absence some beasts have moved into the cave.... but the true adventure begins when the party looks out over a cavern full of riches and realize how woefully unprepared they and their community are for such a vast inheritance. 

Adventure Hooks: 

Unlike most underdog adventures, this campaign start is less about grinding to the top meant as a test of what happens when people unprepared for power suddenly handle it. The party should all have financial woes that this wealth could go to alleviate, great ambitious that it could fund.... but walking into town and paying off your family’s debts to the local land baron is likable to raise some eyebrows. They HAVE to be careful with it, or else they’ll end up thrown into a dungeon and tortured by the avaricious until they’re forced to give it away. Whether it be bandits, Colver’s deep’s own corrupt authority figures, or those dragonslayers who catch word of that long deferred lootdrop. 

Perhaps the greatest treasure in the horde is a single mottled, melon sized egg, one that will quickly hatch after the party begins fussing over it and expunge a derpy little wyrmling the party will be forced to adopt on the spot out of sheer cuteness. What better metaphor for unexpected responsibility than becoming unwitting parents to an undersized apex predator that will totally blow their cover if the townsfolk ever catch sight of it. 

 In addition to the valuables contained within the hoard, there are also a plethora of obscure magical objects, that the party will have to spend time discovering. hijinx are guaranteed to ensue, as each of these treasures can become an unexpected adventure hook in their own right. Expect cursed items, sentient items, and things that are just a little too magical to sit still once the opportunity for escape has been presented to them. 

Further Adventures:  

While the party could continue to go on your traditional “do task and be rewarded” sort of quests, their sudden influx of funds is likely to throw the traditional adventure motivation system out of wack. Instead, they should be confronted with problems where throwing money at the issue is the easy option, but risks people noticing just how loaded our party has become. Bandits kidnap an important NPC’s family member? why not just pay the ransom? Abusive landlord working his tennant farmers to the bone? Buy the land out from under him and set the party up as kings of their own village. The idea is to force the party to think smart about what resources they have at their disposal, or else let the villains onto the fact that they know where the dragon’s horde is. Eventually our heroes will slip up, and you’ll have your first-act baddie. 

Neck deep in their current troubles, the party is completely blindsided when one of the dragonslayers shows up, turning their battle with the avricious villains of Colver’s Deep into a three way standoff.  In true murderhobo fashion, the slayers are badasses but completely amoral when it comes to their persuit of loot, and they have very few qualms about putting the squeeze on the party to get what they deem to be theirs. Only one shows up at first and is more than a match for the party... but then the rest of the slayers arrive, and our heroes will be completely outgunned. 

The most dangerous of the dragonslayers is their leader: Ezekiel Reigns (not his real name), a wily old sorcerer who now wields a staff composed of Zaurigel’s bones that allows him unparalleled mastery of the skies. All the fun and tension of facing off against a sniper, except the sniper is several hundred feet in the air throwing down lighting bolts out of a clear sky. 

After having a showdown with a dragonslayers over the horde, the party returns to find storm clouds over Colver’s Deep, and the settlement itself in flames.  Zaurigel’s lesser siblings have shown up, and they want revenge... or at least one of them does; another wants the treasure and are intent on terrorizing the townsfolk until they learn it’s location, the last wants to claim the town and its surrounding regions as their new territory, and is squabbling with the others with no care for collateral damage. Lets hope the party was kind in raising their wyrmling friend, as it might be the only thing that can avert a disastrous confrontation. 

Also, I’ve had this adventure in my head for a while, and was largely inspired by this post, Griping about skyrim is how I got my start in designing adventures, and I encourage the rest of you to go out and imagine better versions of the things you love to jumpstart your own creativity. 

[nyxeren]

Since I'm new over here, purrhaps some introductions are in order? I'm Nyxe, and I've been making derpy screenshots for my main, Phae, since HW! I started out as a pink-haired miqo on Insta, but several dozen fantasias later, Phae's "true" form is definitely midlander hyur.

Phaemera - Leviathan - Primal

Birth name: Fhlae Mercer (yuck?)

Hails from a rich merchant family in Ishgard, youngest of four children (twin brothers are the eldest, one older sister). Disgusted by their cutthroat techniques and willingness to do anything to get ahead, and aware of the disdain from other families in Ishgard (who merely tolerate the Mercers because of their effectiveness), Phae left home at a young age to make her own way in the world. She hasn't spoken to them since, and avoids any attempts to find her. To her annoyance, Rowena seems to know both Phae's family and true name.

Natural white hair and blue-green eyes, tendency to dye hair pink. Known to change names, eye and hair colors to suit her mood, or to avoid attention. Sometimes disguises herself as other races entirely. Adept at appearing boringly average when called for, but prefers to let her personal tastes shine.

As a teenager, she was caught trying to pickpocket a member of the Rogue's Guild in Limsa Lominsa and subsequently taken under their wing. While she has come far and learned many other trades since then, she does not forget her roots, and still considers the Guild to be family. Became a Machinist out of respect for Stephanivien's vision and willingness to break from his family's tradition, as well as admiration for the Admiral. Became a Dark Knight at a low point in her life, stuck with it to harness the powers of darkness in a positive manner so that others need not walk the path of shadow.

Embraced the Warrior of Light mantle readily, and welcomes the title of Lightbringer. She considered it a chance to do the most good in the world, even if she knows at times the legend is far more impressive than reality. Feels it's important for the people to have a symbol to look up to; her affinity for stars and celestial themes stems from this, and a wish to be a "light in the darkness."

Easily bored, slightly absentminded, always restless. Zero respect for authority unless earned, speaks her mind with little regard for the consequences. Hates fake or formal people. Outwardly optimistic, spontaneous and easygoing, with a desire to see the best in people that sometimes borders on irrational. Inwardly less cheerful and naive, but still maintains a desire to believe in others. Despite her empathetic nature, she has trouble getting close to others and only has a handful of close friends. Sullen and moody at times; on these occasions, she withdraws to a number of "hiding places" to clear her mind. As her family rose to power with no regard to whom they stepped on, Phae desires to leave things better than she finds them, in whatever minor ways she can. Rarely stays in one place for long.

Canon mounts: Black Pegasus, Amaro, Battle Panther, SDS Fenrir. Canon minions: Silver Dasher, Byakko Cub, Amaro Hatchling. Canon weapons: Outsider, Makai Hand Mortar, Xiphias Eureka, Edenchoir Greatsword. Favorite earrings: White Ravens.

Influences: Ax (my original RP character, a loud, foul-mouthed, cheerful but troubled human warrior), Arya Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire), Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket), chaos (Xenosaga), Lyra Silvertongue (His Dark Materials)

That's all for Phae, I'll do more introductions for the rest of my characters when I'm less lazy!

[trash-for-seabass]

The knots in your brain chapter 3: our little wooden house.

Pairing: Bucky x reader (normally Stucky but this one Is all buck)

Warnings: mention of night terrors, dry humping, nocturnal emissions, fondling someone’s tittes while your asleep.

Authors note: considering having this story start to include dark themes.

~~~~

“So what are these things called again?”

Bucky points to the pumpkin headed creature leaving a trail of white around our little wooden house. 

“It’s called a snow gollum Buck” I reply, scooting a tenth of an inch closer to him. “Here watch this”

I approach the snow gollum with a pair of shears and remove the pumpkin, revealing the derpy face of the snowman beneath. Bucky let’s out a short laugh, shifting his weight on my bed.

After the night in the bathroom I thought things were going to become awkward between us but they didn’t, in fact it was the exact opposite. Sure things were a bit weird for a few days but then he started showing up for massages at work again, and after that he began to join Steve and I for dinners. And now here we were, chilling in my bedroom while I played minecraft. I tried to teach him but Bucky insisted he preferred to watch me play.

This was a big week of trust for Steve, Bucky, and myself. It was the first time since I moved in that Steve had a 7 day mission and Sam wouldn’t be here to supervise, though really he was here to babysit. Both of them would be in Lagos for a week with Nat and Wanda. Steve had gone full mother bird mode before he left, making sure the fridge and pantry were stocked and the laundry was done. He double checked we had enough phone chargers, even testing most of them,  making sure we had no excuse to not answer our phones.

The first two days passed by pretty normally, Bucky and I had chosen to stay in our respective rooms but we would see each other at meals even eating together once or twice. On the third day I had noticed Bucky growing increasingly uncomfortable, and after I had gotten off of work I walked in on him with his shirt off noticing his muscles were extremely tight. I had back in time to my room for a personal massage session which he greatly enjoyed, it was so good he ended up falling asleep in my bed. He looked so peaceful I couldn’t pull myself to wake him up.

Yesterday after I came home from work and collapsed in my bed I grabbed my Xbox controller and booted up the console, scrolling through my library over to my favorite game: Minecraft. I couldn’t have been playing for more then 20 minutes before I heard a tentative knock at my door.

I looked up to see Bucky’s large frame filling up my doorway. Steve didn’t explicitly say I had to keep my door open but it was implied it would make both him and Bucky feel better. His white shirt and blue boxers clung to his skin, and his hair hung damp around his face, clearly fresh from the shower. Bucky’s face moved from mine to the screen, watching the 3 village cats approach the fish I had in my blocky hand. I sat as still as my Minecraft character, in fear of scaring off the village cat now standing in my doorway.

“Do you mind if I watch?”

Bucky’s question surprised me, he wasn’t the most social guy and he never showed much interest in anything that had to do with a TV, save for watching the morning news.

I quickly scooted to the other side of my bed and patter the spot I previously occupied. Bucky moved from the doorway and gently sat down, immediately sinking into my memory foam mattress. After a quick gripe about ‘how could you possibly sleep in this thing? It feels like I’m gonna fall through the floor’ Bucky settled in and watched me play, periodically asking questions until my mammoth yawns told him I was tired and he excused himself to let me sleep.

Today was the 5th day and it progressed much like the day before. After coming home and showering, Bucky hoped into my bed and watched me play for hours on end. He truly seemed fascinated with the endless blocky world and the many creatures that inhabited it.

We had been playing for hours at this point and I couldn’t stifle the yawns anymore. Bucky took the hint and before I could get a word in he bid me goodnight and slipped out of my room.

With a huff I turned everything off and lay down, rolling over onto my side so I faced the door, letting my heavy eyelids close as I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

~~~

I’m jolted awake at 2:37am by blood curdling screams. Throwing the warm sheets off, I sprint to the room across the hall, my bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor. Throwing open the door to Steve and Bucky’s room I’m greeted with a stomach curling sight.

Bucky is sitting up in the bed, arms wrapped protectively around himself as he shakes and shivers, a layer of sweat can be seen glistening off his bare chest in the dim lights of New York City. The sheets are thrown to the side, leaving him completely bare to the cold other then the burgundy boxers covering his hips. His breaths come out shaky and ragged, slightly muffled by the pouring rain.

“Hey Buck….” I start, taking careful steps towards him. Steve had warned me about Bucky’s night terrors and he went over what I should do before he left. “Steve’s house rules” as I called them.

Check in with Steve and Nat everyday at least once a day (preferably more)

Call for help if Bucky goes into an episode

If physical assistance is needed I was to call Tony and Jarvis immediately.

Do NOT touch Bucky if he’s having a night terror.

Do NOT share a bed with Bucky no matter how sweetly he asks.

Bucky’s head snaps to me, his long hair swishing over his shoulders. It’s difficult to tell if he’s awake or not so I tread carefully, taking another step into the room.

“It’s ok Buck” I start, keeping my voice low and calm. “Your ok. Your gonna be ok”

He drops his head. “What did I do?”

Another step. “You didn’t do anything Buck. It’s ok”

His voice is still lazy and groggy, he slowly curls and uncurls each of this fingers one by one. “Everything hydra put in me is still there. It’s always going to be there”

“It doesn’t matter” I whisper. I’m close enough to touch him now. Steve warned me that under no circumstances should I try to touch Bucky when he had a night terror, telling me there’s a chance he could still be asleep and not recognize me. That he might hurt me.

So I gently rest my palm on his shoulder, right where flesh meets metal.

Bucky’s head snaps up to me once more but this time I can clearly see his crystal blue eyes, awake and alert, and brimming with tears.

“Hey hey it’s ok” I whisper, slowly bringing my arms up to wrap around him. “I’m here it’s ok”

Bucky doesn’t say anything but after a moment he brings his arms up and wraps them around my waist, squeezing me close and slowly guiding me into his lap. I end up straddling him, hooking my ankles at his lower back to ensure I can hold him as tightly as possible, as he crisscross’s his arms over my shoulder blades. It’s a bit intimate but I wasn’t going to pull away now. His head is cradled in my chest as I gently stroke his hair.

We sit there for….well it was hard to keep track of time while listening to the drizzle of the rain. But after he’s stopped shaking, Bucky speaks up. “Will you stay?”

I lean back, cocking my head to the side in question.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” He asks again, giving me the biggest set of puppy dog eyes I’d ever seen before whispering out a small “please”

I nod, gently scratching the back of his neck watching in amusement as Bucky’s head sinks backwards into my palm. Slowly, Bucky and I untangle ourselves and shift till we’re both on our sides, staying in physical contact the entire time. I let Bucky maneuver me how he wants, fitting me against him with my back to his chest before tangling our legs together. He crosses his arms over my chest, making sure the warm flesh one is pressed directly into my skin, and holds me close, the exposed back of my tank top pressing right against where his heart pounds.

I nuzzle into him, closing my eyes just as I hear him whisper a small thank you and ready my mind for sleep.

But an hour later I’m still wide awake.

Bucky’s breathing has evened out, and his tight, fearful grip has loosened. He’s calmed down enough that the reality of the situation has finally washed over me.

I’m curled up with an almost naked super soldier, In his bed! , while being in just a tank top and comfy red panties myself.

The scruff of his jaw brushes the back of my neck as he nuzzles his face deeper into my hair, and the slight friction sends a buzz straight to my core. He keeps doing it, rubbing his scruff back and forth on the sensitive part of my neck, so much so it was me squirming in his grip, small involuntary moans escaping my lips.

Bucky’s subconscious must pick it up based on the growl that bubbles up in his throat and the way his grip tightens around my chest. His hips thrust up into the curve of my ass as he kneads my beasts with his palms like a cat. Then suddenly his fingers curl around the neck of my shirt and yank it down, revealing my breasts to the cold air. His fingers quickly envelop the soft mounds, rubbing my nipples between his pointer and middle fingers. The sensation of his hands, fire and ice, sending shivers down my back, forcing it to bow. That seems to please his sleeping mind as a happy hmm vibrates through his chest.

I look around in a panic, spotting my phone on the bedside table. I don’t know who I intended to call for help, but it doesn’t matter. The shivers running down my spine and the pooling in my panties make it impossibly hard to focus even as my finger tips brush the surface of the smooth wood. If I can just grab my phone I can-

Bucky’s sudden shift makes me gasp as he quickly throws a his leg over me and settles himself on my back.

He’s mounting me.

He’s fucking mounting me

All 260 pounds of super soldier rests itself on my back, pushing me down into the mattress and making it hard to breathe.

I can’t squirm away. Hell I can barley move.

His flesh hand quickly lands next to my head with a pomph as his metal snakes under my torso, crossing over my chest and gripping my shoulder. His hips start moving, grinding his throbbing erection back and forth over my ass. His grunts and growls in my ear as his thrusts get faster. It’s hot, it’s heavy, it’s wrong in so many ways.

And I loved it.

I could feel slick running down my thighs as I arched my back into his thrusts. I don’t know if he can feel it, or maybe he could freaking smell it, but Bucky plows his hips into mine, causing the headboard to smack into the wall, I cried out, a coil in my stomach growing tighter and tighter, feeling like it might snap at any second-

Bucky groans loudly in my ear, his pistoning hips faltering before coming to a stop as his body tenses. Then, with a satisfied grunt, he proceeds to pull a post but flop as he rolls off me and onto the other side of the bed, curling up in the blanket with a satisfied hum.

I lay on my back for a few moments, staring at the ceiling with my titties out as I try to process what just happened. The only thought that passes through my head is ‘if your gonna take advantage of me at least do it properly you pig’

With a huff I roll out of bed and plant my feet on the cold hardwood floor, getting up and walking over to grab a glass of water from the kitchen before heading back to my own bed, this time closing the door behind me.

~~~

I awoke the next morning to the smell of pancakes and peppermint tea. Groggily I wandered out of bed to find Bucky in the kitchen, a Captain America apron that Sam had gotten him as a joke gift hung around his torso. 

If Bucky remembers anything from last night he dosnt show it, simply smiling and offering me a good morning before filling his plate up with pancakes and moving to sit in the living room.

My cunt trembles as I watch him walk to the living room, the memories of how heavy he was and the way his scruff felt on my neck flooding back to me. I shake my head, filling up my plate and grabbing the cup of tea as Bucky turns on the news.

I can faintly hear the news reporter say the words “Captain America” and “Logos” which has me sprint-walking to the living room to see what was going on. I was expecting to see the Avengers boarding the Quin-jet after a successful mission.

Instead I round the corner just as the building above Steve blows up in a ball of fire.

~~~

Tag list: @ladybug05 @lianixpanix