#dispose of old computers

[hilem19]

FREE Disposal, Collection & Recycling

Whether you have a few items or a van load we can collect free of charge to recycle all of your I.T Equipment and WEEE Recycling. All metals and circuit board are recycled resulting in physical destruction. All hard drives are shredded and certificates provided. We offer a 48 hour turn around on collections and cover the Berkshire and North Hampshire area.

[hplonesomeart]

Wow I think I’m soooo funny sometimes jksjsksp. Sorry this is nothing more than a quick shitpost edit because everytime I rewatch this lovely vid my brain automatically inserts these stupid audio clips. I needed to get it out of my head lol

Pretty sure you all know who Opossol is by now (literally the artist who indirectly introduced me to Puzzlevison in the first place) but wanna encourage everyone to rewatch Creative Control on YouTube for the 30th time because let’s face it—we are all in dire need of Puzzle content right now. This animatic really did get me hooked into learning more about Puzzles and SMG4 as a whole, so I cannot express how glad I am to have been introduced to this wacky guy through her prequel fan story. Helped inspire me to get my own ideas out there :)

[socialboxbizsblog-blog]

SocialBoxBiz: A Decade of Championing Planetary Protection Through Tech Reuse - How SocialBoxBiz is Reducing CO2 Emissions with Old Computer Reuse in London

For over a decade, SocialBoxBiz has championed planetary protection by reducing tons of CO2 emissions through our "Call Before You Scrap It" campaign. We emphasise secure data removal before reusing old computers in London, safeguarding privacy while prioritizing environmental sustainability. By promoting reuse over recycling of computers.

Read the blogs: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/socialboxbizsblog-blog https://medium.com/@info_81043

Businesses are rethinking their approach to outdated technology by assessing which items can be reused, securely wiped, and repurposed. This sustainable approach reduces carbon emissions, boosts social impact, and supports Corporate Social Responsibility and sustainability targets. It also maximizes value from existing resources, reducing raw materials mined, energy consumed, and environmental footprint, helping businesses meet their CSR goals.

Addressing the E-Rubbish for Planetary Protection. The United Nations has highlighted an alarming surge in e-rubbish, projecting 82 million tonnes by 2030, a 33% increase from 2022. At SocialBoxBiz, we're addressing this crisis head-on by promoting re-use of old corporate computers. By securely wiping data and reusing usable old devices, we ensure that they can be used again, reducing the need for new production, and ultimately reducing CO2 emissions. Our efforts in London contribute to global planetary protection. Real-Life Impact in Our Community Our work isn't just about numbers; it's about changing lives right here in London. One such story is that of Sebastian, who found a job as a kitchen porter with the help of a laptop donated through our program. Another inspiring story is that of DJ Yordi, a refugee who received an upgraded Mac-Book, which transformed his life by aiding his music career and social integration.

Stories like these remind us of the real difference we can make through technology reuse in our community. Call to Action We invite you to join us in our mission. Donate your old tech today and help reduce CO2 emissions while supporting communities in need. Learn more at SocialBoxBiz website reuse before recycling for corporate IT.

Socialboxbiz laptops at a winter homeless shelter in London UK

Learn more at SocialBoxBiz website reuse before recycling for corporate IT. https://www.socialbox.biz/reuse-before-recycling/

Unlock Corporate Impact & Reduce Scope 3 Emissions with SocialBox.Biz

Every tech upgrade is an opportunity — not just for performance, but for purpose. When businesses and universities refresh their IT equipment, the old devices often end up recycled or discarded prematurely. But what if those machines could help both the planet and the people?

At SocialBox.Biz, we specialize in collecting and repurposing used corporate and university laptops before they enter the recycling stream. This simple shift helps reduce Scope 3 carbon emissions and boosts corporate social impact.

By extending the life of usable tech, your organization contributes to a circular economy and fulfills key ESG objectives — proving sustainability isn't just a buzzword, it's measurable action.

Refreshing your IT soon? Let SocialBox.Biz turn your old hardware into new hope. It's better for business, better for the planet, and better for society.

[brltpop]

Guys, girls, goths and gays please pray for me or wish me good luck because I'm about to EXPLODE

[eclipse-msoul]

MISFORTUNATE LADY

✙ Yandere Mafia Dark! Bat family X Reader ✙

Synopsis : You had the misfortune of catching their eye. Oh, why did you have to make such a stupid mistake? Now you could only cry , hoping for them to leave you alone.

Warnings : Stalking, murder, no care for human life, anxiety, non-consentual touching, Non-consentual drug use

Prev // Next

Chapter 1 :-

It was a dark and cloudy night. Clouds had filled the Gotham sky, making its inhabitants bear the dark and shadows in their full glory. In this city of everlasting twilight, sounds of muffling screams could be heard from one particular warehouse.

“ Tsk-” A figure groaned, boredom latched in his tone as he pierced a blade through his little victim's finger. The victim screamed in agony unable to stop tears from swelling underneath his eyes.

“ Fuck…” Jason cursed under his breath, his eyes narrowing in disgust as he stared at his victim wetting himself. He held his head feeling a headache overtake him. “ Oi replacement.”

No response.

“Little shit I know you can hear me.” Jason commented. A grunt was heard on the other side.

A man in his early twenties let out a yawn, his hand picking up a cup of coffee and bringing it near his throat. He chugged it down in an instant and let out an exhausted gasp. “ Don't scream at me Jay.” He sighed in his com before sharpening his eyes.

“Tell the Old man the fucker useless !” Jason retorted.

Tim pressed the mouse and several screens appeared in front of him. “Dick's got a lead to the traitors place. So it seems this waste of space is useless-” the computer screen zoomed at the victim mobbed and on his last breath with eyes begging for mercy.

Tim lazily sneered, lagging back at his comfortable seat.

“ Deal with him as you wish.” and the comm went off. Those words were all that was needed before red liquid splashed on Jason's face. He got up and went up to the table. Various torture devices were placed on the table - ranging from mild to painful ones.

Jason took out a handkerchief and removed the victim's blood from ruining his face. The moonlight highlighted his sharp green glowing eyes while he remained cold to the corpse rotting mere steps away.

He walked out the door and casually threw the bloody handkerchief on one of the guard's. “Dispose of the body.” he commanded in cold words. The guards bowed and went in while Jason took off on his motorbike Parker not too far away from the entrance.

He soon arrived at the Mansion. As soon as he stepped inside his room, a notification sound came on his phone. He took it out and his cold and aggressive eyes turned tender. A warm smile formed on his lips.

He quickly dialed the number and waited impatiently while the phone rang. Two rings and you finally picked up.

“ Hello?” You asked, your voice drowsy.

“Hello? Who is this?” Jason looked at his phone and couldn't help but think your furrowed eyebrows while you sat on your bed looked undeniably cute.

Jason snickered and playfully responded. “ Angel, it's me. ” He responded before, a loud sound of thug was heard followed by the phone going silent.

He looked at the screen to see you had ended the call and blocked him.

Again.

He sighed before falling back down on his bed. You sure loved to play hard to get. He thought before tiredness overtook him and he fell into a deep slumber.

On the other side, you were panicking - sweat formed on your forehead while you took several deep breaths. Your body was quivering in fear all while you tried to stabilize your breathing and sit back on your bed.

It took ten minutes before you could even find enough courage to get up. But you believed anyone would react the same way when faced with a situation like yourself. Others might even respond worse - you were still undeniably trying to keep a stable mind.

Why the hell was this happening to you?

You didn't know what sin you committed last month. It had merely been thirty two days since you had moved to this particular neighborhood in Gotham. Nothing seemingly different had happened in your seemingly ordinary life before things went stray.

You were going insane.

Snapping up to look at the sounds of several flashes you couldn't even cry. These bastards! What did you even do? How did you end up with psychopathic lunatics as your stalkers!

They weren't even trying to be subtle about their stalking either.

They were slow in the beginning- with your things going missing and not being present in the same place.

Then they started leaving notes.

And now this!

You wanted to hit someone! After all, what wrong did you even do? A loud sound of a message popping up was heard throughout your room. You gulped and stepped up to pick your phone from the table while you had just thrown it away.

XXXX-XXXXXXX

Cover your eyes and sit in your usual place.

You bit the lower end of your lips before sending a message of agreement.

XXXX-XXXXXXX

Understood.

It didn't take long to find the binding cloth. You have done this several times, wrapped it around your eyes and tightened its hold on your face and sat quietly like a lamb waiting for its slaughter.

The sound of the clock ticking chipped away your anxiety with each second passing by. Your body sitting on the soft bed felt sore and cold. But you could do nothing but wait.

Finally sounds of light footsteps were heard. You noted there were two this time. Soon a large muscular hand pulled you up and entrapped you in a tight embrace. “Y/n!” A joyful voice soaked with honey was heard.

Your body stiffened uncontrollably while you tried to prevent yourself from breaking down crying.

“ She's looking more pale than usual.” you heard a small voice mutter. You didn't move, not even a bit.The one holding you replied in a concerned tone, “ You're right.” He moved his lips closer to your ear before whispering, “ Babe did you eat anything?”

Babe? This delusional bastard-

Your fist tightened and you replied hesitantly, “ Yes.” this would be enough wouldn't it? You didn't want to tell him or them anymore.

“ Lier.” The same soft voice from earliest rang closer to you. You could guess the woman (stalker) was close to your age making this situation more ridiculous. How could they do this?

“ Explain Cass.” The man holding you commanded.

“ She barely ate. She's been vomiting out all that she ate since morning.” And who was to blame for that! You wanted to scream but you kept quiet.

You heard the man sigh before out of nowhere he picked you up and gently carried you to bed.

Placing you back there, you felt something pushed near your mouth. “ It's fruit.” He spoke, trying to calm you.

“ Don't worry it's not drugged, eat some.We can't have you getting sick or addicted so early on.” You finally opened your mouth only to get tricked.

His lips touched yours.

This bastard-

You found it hard to breathe. His tongue tried to push into your mouth all while you tried to futilely refuse but in the end he won. His tongue dived deep into your mouth and exchanged his body fluids with yours.

He was devouring you like some monster. You felt so helpless and in pain. Finally after what was like forever he pulled out.

You pushed him away with all your might and stood up only to lose your balance due to an unstable supply of oxygen for you know how long.

“ Y-You tricked me!” You breathed out, your eyes still covered leaving you helpless.

Dick chuckled and met his sister's eyes. “ Couldn't help myself Love.” His tone was so no serious, it was like he didn't care.” You looked too adorable to miss out on.” He added, like it would make the situation better. You trembled.

He huffed and tendly brought his hands closer to you. Those large muscular hands pinched your lovely pink cheeks before moving near your neck.

He who stood behind you opened his mouth and bit into your neck. You let out a shriek only for your lips to be captured again.

This time by the woman named Cass.

You felt a small pill in your mouth and realized it was one of those drugs. But before you could try and vomit it out. The woman's tongue pushed it back of your oral cavity and you mistakenly swallowed it.

By the time both of their bodies separated from you, your mind was overtaken by an unfortunate state of paralysis.

You felt dazed which was followed by a big headache. Your body lost consciousness and was caught by the oldest Wayne son.

Cass observed Dick picking you up and helping you cover yourself with a blanket. “ She's going to be unable to move her hands or walk. .” Dick's body stilled before he lazily asked.

But Cass could tell his body language was tense. She was a master of it after all. “ What are you getting at?” Cass signed, �� Why give her that when we already have a tight lease on her?”

“ Cass Cass, my dear sister.” Dick placed a hand on her shoulder, “ We need to secure our treasure. If there's even a tiny possibility of her leaving us. Then I'll cut it down from the roots. The Wayne’s do not take chances.”

Dick spoke those words before jumping out from the windows. Cass followed right behind him but not before lingering another pitiful glance at your sleeping figure.

You truly were unlucky.

★★(TBC)★★

♛┈⛧┈┈•༶.・゜゜・.・゜゜・༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

SOOOOOO- What do you folks think? Interesting enough or should I make it more gore?

Any kind of feedback or even you saying hi to me. Motivates me. (Comment please my cuties)

Also Hope you guys enjoy and Thanks for reading 🩷

Tag list : @lilyalone , @kore-of-the-underworld , @oliviaewl , @hopingtoclearmedschool , @vanilliona , @transparentsublimesuit , @choas-with-feathers , @melvin333 , @of-poetry-and-dreams , @sharkcravingcables , @animegoddess15

[xplicitviewz]

Eren didn't mean to, but he did personally hire you, there was just something about you…

You were walking around the neighborhood looking for new work- your boss, well, old boss as of 30 minutes ago, just let you go. Deciding against going through the process of answering gigs on Facebook or Craigslist, you start knocking on doors. Plus, you were already in a well-off neighborhood, so someone had to need or maybe even give in to the idea of having a regular housekeeper. When Eren opens the door, you flinch back as you were leaving your business card at the crack of the door after thinking no one was home.

"You scared me." You laugh softly before you start professionally advertising yourself begging for a job, "Hello, Im {</3}, I am a housekeeper looking for work," you know... the works. Eren was working from home, barely hearing the doorbell go off at first. He was surprised himself thinking it was the regular delivery people needing a package signed off.

Eren didn't mean to disregard Mikasa when she would tell him there was no need for a maid, but he convinced her (time after time) that you were a good investment. He knew how busy they both were with their shared company. The amount of hours they spent at the office, "That way we can just come home and relax after a long day and spend time with each other." He kissed softly under her ear leaving a small trail down her neck, and pulling her close into his body in a way she changed her mind.

Eren didn't mean to adjust his schedule so he could work from home more than usual. Leaving both of you alone together while his wife works at the office. Eren glances up from his annoyingly bright computer and number of papers scattered across his desk once he hears the footsteps of (<3).

Eren didn't intend to watch you walk by, subconsciously sucking in a breath. He definitely didn't intend for his eyes to trail up and down your body as you walked by (in slow motion to him), his eyes focused on your ass in those black tights, the way your thighs rub against each other, pushing the mini cart carrying cleaning supplies. He swears it was on purpose when one of the disposable gloves falls on the floor, watching as you pick it up.

Eren didn't want to pump his dick in his hand, but his thoughts ran crazy. He didn't even bother to get up from his office chair to at least crack the door shut. He had his head leaned back, while manspreaded in his office chair. Eren bit his lower lip, holding back his quiet grunts and whines, his chest heaving while his abs flexed. all over his hands while he pictures your own hands (the ones he got to look at weekly when handing you a check for your services), tending to his selfish, dirty needs. Eren moves his hands faster up and down is dick, using his ither hand to rub his tip. Choking back a moan, his abs tense at the stimulation he you was giving himself. "Shit (<3)." He mutters, throwing his head back into his office chair, his legs spreading further apart as his hip buckle. Eren’s mind flashes to you bending over to pick up the glove. It didn't take long for him to cum, spurts of it landing on his shirt, and all over his hands. Eren didn't expect to think about you multiple times while he was buried deep in Mikasa, later in the day.

Eren didn't mean to accidentally come across {<3} (he purposely looked for you.) slightly bent over cleaning the bathtub. Eren couldn't help but feel his erection grow harder as he saw your perfectly plump ass moving while you scrub the tub.

It was out of his control when he grabbed your hips, pressing his bulge into you. His hands find the waistband of your tights as he pulls them down. He slowly thrust his throbbing cock (with too many fabrics in his way) on you through your panties. "Keep cleaning." He spanks your ass, getting on his knees placing his hands around your thighs, his grip tightening as he pulled you closer to him.

"I-" you stumble your words, "Sir, I don't thi-" but you get cut off by Eren's tongue licking you through your panties, letting out a groan from between your legs while he gropes your ass. Your lips part, letting out a soft gasp as you try to ignore the arousal growing and focus on cleaning the tub. Eren pulls your panties down, his tongue teasingly plays with your pussy soon forgetting the words that were going to leave your mouth.

You couldn't believe the way you were pathetically begging for more while Eren's fingers went in and out of you. "Oh fu-fuck" you whimper out arching your back and pushing your ass into his fingers. Your walls clenching and spewing more as he's degrading you, sucking and nipping lightly on the back of your bruised thighs. "Slutty ass pussy," his teeth sinking harder into your sensitive skin.

Your eyes flutter when you feel him add another finger in. The scrub brush hits the bottom of the tub after it slips out of your gloved hands and finds its way to the bath wall. He adds another finger, scissoring them. You push your ass further back wanting more. The previous thoughts of right and wrong went straight out your head after feeling his tongue sucking around your puffy clit.

Eren's arms snake around your thighs holding your trembling legs open and still, nose deep in your gushy cunt. His moans vibrate through your body, eyes rolling. "P-please sir." You whimper (begging) at his never-ending torment.

Only then did Eren part away, admiring you bent over, hands placed on the shower wall, legs spread open. He licks his lips, moaning at the taste of you as his dick throbs in his pants. You let out a low whine, squirming your hips at the loss of his touch, earning a small chuckle from him.

"Do I have to teach you to use your words properly?" He spanks your ass hard and your body jerks forward, knees hitting the outside of the tub. "No, Sir." You croak out as he spanks you again. You wiggle your hips again, wanting- needing more. He sucked his teeth, "Such an eager little thing hm." Your knees buckle, clenching on air. He spits on your drooling needy little cunt, blowing softly at your winking hole. Eren watches as his saliva drips down your folds, straight to your clit.

"Please, Sir, I want more." You whisper through your soft whimpers. Eren smirks licking against your clit, circling it a few times, up to your entrance. His tongue fucking you while he palms himself. He sucks on your clit and pulls his dick out his pants, moaning in relief when he starts jerking himself off again. You squirmed your hips in his face side to side moaning at the vibrations he was creating.

It wasn’t long before he had his cock buried in you, your back pressed against his clothed chest, your shirt raised up over your chest. His hands are snaked around you, one groping your boobs and the other wrapped around your neck, while his cock pounds in to you, leaving you a moaning hot-mess. Such filthy words he was saying, filthy words that were getting you off.

“Look at you, about to cum on a married man’s cock.” He groans into your ear, biting the shell. Your pussy dripping, gripping his cock so good, better than anything he has ever felt before. You whine out, arching your back even more. His hand drops from your boob to your clit, rubbing circles. “P-please sir, so so close.” You moan, your hips rock against his thrusts.

“Fuck, cum, cum all over my cock, wanna feel how hard you cum fucking your boss hmmm.” He hums rubbing your wet puffed out clit faster, fucking you harder. Your eyes roll and you see white dots as you cum gushing all over his cock. Legs tremble as he places your hands on the wall and grips your hips, pounding in you sensitive hole mercilessly. Your hands slip as your mouth drops open. He holds you up when your knees buckle, “Fuck you take me so well, pussy so stretched out from my dick, can’t even stand anymore.” Eren spanks your ass, the slap echos as your body jumps nearly hitting your head on the shower wall. “How are you gonna finish cleaning my house hmm. Maybe I should fill you up so you are dripping my cum out of you. That’ll give you a reason to scrub my floors, give me a reason to fuck your slutty pussy all over again.” He teasingly chuckles, as his nails grip into your hips creating crescents.

“Yes please.” You moan out desperately trying to hold your arms up again, every snap of his hips make your hands slip on the shower tile. “Shit, you better take all of it then.” Eren moans, throwing his head back as he feels his balls squeeze and dick throb inside, he grabs your hair pulling you back into a mean arch, his pace moving impossibly faster.

“Please, give i- it to m-me sir plea-nnghhh- please.” Your loud moans echo the bathroom alongside skin slapping against each other. Eren lets out a loud whimper/grunt as he cums deep inside you, holding you in place as he fills you up.

Before you both could say or do anymore, you both hear the front door open, “Eren, I’m home.” Mikasa calls out…

Let’s just say your next check was a few thousand more than your last one.

*not proofread*

Thinking about making this a mini fic so let’s call this a preview ;)

More:

Ex-husband!Eren

Sylus mini

Nerd!armin x reader x boyfriend!eren

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[reasonsforhope]

"As the world grows “smarter” through the adoption of smartphones, smart fridges, and entire smart houses, the carbon cost of that technology grows, too. 

In the last decade, electronic waste has become one of the fastest-growing waste streams in the world. 

According to The World Counts, the globe generates about 50 million tons of e-waste every year. That’s the equivalent of 1,000 laptops being trashed every second. 

After they’re shipped off to landfills and incinerated, the trash releases toxic chemicals including lead, cadmium, arsenic, mercury, and so much more, which can cause disastrous health effects on the populations that live near those trash sites. 

Fortunately, Franziska Kerber — a university student at ​​FH Joanneum in Graz, Austria — has dreamed up a solution that helps carve away at that behemoth problem: electronics made out of recyclable, dissolvable paper. 

On September 11, Kerber’s invention “Pape” — or Paper Electronics — earned global recognition when it was named a national winner of the 2024 James Dyson Awards. 

When she entered the scientific competition, Kerber demonstrated her invention with the creation of several small electronics made out of paper materials, including a fully-functional WiFi router and smoke detector. 

“Small electronic devices are especially prone to ending up in household waste due to unclear disposal systems and their small size, so there is significant potential to develop a more user-friendly end-of-life system,” Kerber wrote on the James Dyson Award website. 

“With this in mind, I aimed to move beyond a simple recycling solution to a circular one, ensuring long-term sustainability.” 

Kerber’s invention hinges on crafting a dissolvable and recyclable PCB board out of compressed “paper pulp.” 

A printed circuit board (PCB) is a board that can be found in nearly all modern electronic devices, like phones, tablets, and smartwatches.

But even companies that have started incorporating a “dissolution” step into the end life of their products require deconstruction to break down and recover the PCB board before it can be recycled. 

With Kerber’s PAPE products, users don’t need to take the device apart to recycle it.

“By implementing a user-friendly return option, manufacturers can efficiently dissolve all returned items, potentially reusing electronic components,” Kerber explained. 

“Rapidly advancing technology, which forms the core of many devices, becomes obsolete much faster than the structural elements, which are often made from plastics that can last thousands of years,” Kerber poses. 

PAPE, Kerber says, has a “designed end-of-life system” which anticipates obsolescence. 

“Does anyone want to use a thousand-year-old computer?” Kerber asks. “Of course not. … This ensures a sustainable and reliable system without hindering technological advancement.”"

-via GoodGoodGood, September 13, 2024

[tkomptgoedluv]

tear you apart.

pt.1 | pt. 2 here

grumpycafeworkervampire! joost x f! reader

tags: dead dove do not eat, f! reader, internetcafe & vampire au, very much the ‘he hates everyone but her’ trope, even more so the ‘who did this to you?’ trope, reader’s boyfriend is an asshole and deserves everything he gets, joostie has a crush and it’s bad, hurt angst and comfort all in one, all characters are dutch and speak in dutch but dialogue is written in english for obvious reasons.

word count: 5,039.

warnings: descriptions of an un-specific mental illness, light stalking, cheating, descriptions of self harm, mentions of & scenes of DV, violence, gore, rpf.

notes: hello!! thank you guys so much for waiting on this even though it’s been over a month since we all lost our minds a little over vampire joost. i’m very proud of this one, even if the ending is kind of rushed, and i may or may not have already planned out parts 2 & 3 as well so please lemme know if you want a series out of this! (if you don’t say yes then juno might kill you btw). this fic also comes with a MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING so please read at your own risk and stay safe!

love you all lots — enjoy!! 💋

── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ──

the whole point of joost setting up his little internet cafe was that he needed something simple, for a while. something quiet, something normal. he needed to get away from his life with the band, and away from all of the blood and guts that came right along with it. for once, he wanted to be invisible.

that’s what the cafe was supposed to do for him; become an escape, of sorts. he wanted to spend all day, everyday, sat behind that desk of his, with his earphones in his ears and a magazine in his hands. if someone needed help with one of the computers or something, then he’d do so, but only with a roll of his eyes and a scowl on his face. anything more than that and he’d flip them off, flash his fangs at them maybe, and laugh as they’d run out the door, screaming.

he didn’t want to talk to these people, his customers — a lot of them he actually couldn’t stand. they were messy and far too loud for his liking, always leaving their rubbish on the floor and shouting at each other. but at the very least they were simple, so he could handle teaching them how to find youtube and cleaning up after them if it meant that they’d all leave him alone. besides, he still had his ways of disposing of the ones that just wouldn’t behave themselves.

and then you had to come along, didn’t you?

you, with your big sad eyes and your soft, soft smile that was such a rarity to see. this plan of his, you were ruining it and you didn’t even know it.

joost could never admit it to himself, but he was a little infatuated with you. all you ever did was just sit in the corner, as far away from everyone else as you could possibly get, and stare at the computer screen until your eyes would grow too heavy. it made you such a stark contrast to the rest of them that joost couldn’t help but feel something towards you, even if he wouldn’t show it.

he found himself quickly learning your routine, making a note of how you only ever came in at night, no earlier than nine o’clock, and always left before the early hours of the morning. he had no choice but to notice how you always had the same heartbroken look on your face, with red-rimmed eyes and a frown pulling down at your lips. and he could never ignore how you only ever seemed to wear clothes that were at least a few sizes too big for you, always drowning in the fabric of old hoodies and sweatpants.

all of these little things that he couldn’t stop himself from knowing about you…well it was all a little bit weird, wasn’t it? because joost, he was yet to speak to you, to even acknowledge you, really. only when your back was turned would he ever dare to glance in your direction, and even then it was quick, only ever from the corner of his eye.

whatever this was, this thing joost had for you, it was starting to blur the lines between a normal, human crush and borderline stalking. that was why no matter what, it could never be anything more than just a few glances here and there. no matter what, he had to stay away.

joost wanted simple, and you just weren’t that.

but like all of his other plans, you had to go and ruin that one too, because then you started to smell.

not of anything bad, of course, just of blood. and to joost, everyone smelt like blood to some extent; it was one of the many consequences of his particular…lifestyle. he should’ve been used to it by then. the sweet, sweet smell of you shouldn’t have almost knocked him off of his chair when you walked in that day.

at first he just assumed it was nature taking its course; you were a girl after all, and it explained the constant grimace on your face. but after a week, the smell hadn’t gone away — now four months later, it was still there. if anything, it was only getting stronger.

like tonight, there you were, sat in your usual spot right by the window, and joost could smell it. he could barely concentrate on reading his magazine the way it was making his head spin and his heart race. for a human, a scent like that wasn’t normal; despite his better judgment, joost found himself worrying about you.

even more so when you started to cry at your desk.

your head was down and your hands were hiding your face, muffling the sound. no one else around you could hear it, they were too engrossed in playing their silly little video games to really notice. but joost wasn’t like them, was he? he could hear it. he could hear it over the sound of a ‘SUM 41’ song playing on full blast in his ears, in fact.

it made him freeze in his seat, his hands grip the pages of his ‘SPICE’ magazine a little too tightly. then he looked over at you only because he knew that you wouldn’t see it, and caught a glimpse of your shoulders shaking slightly. the sight alone made his eyebrows crease and his knuckles turn white, but it was your small gasp of breath that made him growl.

everyone’s head turned at the sound as the click-clacking of the keyboards ceased, and suddenly joost had sixteen pairs of eyes all staring at him. the only one that hadn’t looked up was you, who merely flinched at the sudden noise as you finally lowered your hands, only to wipe your nose and go back to staring at your computer screen.

in slow movements, joost slammed his magazine down and kicked his feet up off of his desk, muttering a low ‘we’re closing, everyone get out.’ with a cigarette still hanging from his lips. when nobody moved he rose from his chair and stubbed out his cig into his garfield-shaped ashtray, his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.

that was all it took to get everyone up, shoving their shit into their pockets, and heading out the door. you went to stand as well, having already pulled your hood well up over your head in preparation for the hard-falling rain outside. but you stopped when you heard the guy at the reception desk clear his throat not just once but twice, his attention only on you as everybody else made their exits.

“not you, grey hoodie. you stay.”

joost could hear a ringing in his ears from how silent the room became once the last person had left, the cafe door swinging shut behind them, it’s sign now reading ‘closed: come again soon!’

there was a certain…hesitation behind the way that he moved closer to you. behind the way that he grabbed a new cigarette from his pack, letting it dangle between his lips as he pulled up a chair next to you. the absolute last thing that he wanted was to wind up scaring you, somehow, even if the look on your face told him that you already were.

joost could see you shaking, could see all of the tears welling up in your eyes no matter how many times you tried to blink them away. he could hear your heart hammering away inside your chest, the rush of warm blood inside your veins. for once, maybe for even the first time, joost was starting to regret having the reputation that he did.

“i know i’m not exactly known for my ‘outstanding customer service’, but i just want to make sure that you’re okay.” he paused only to take a drag of his cigarette, the ash falling down and dirtying the denim of his jeans. “are you okay?”

no, you really weren’t.

without a word you turned away to press the ‘on’ button of your computer screen, its cold, blue light casting a dark shadow across your face. it showed him exactly what you had been looking at before you’d tried to leave, having forgotten to properly log out first. whilst the receptionist leaned forward and squinted at the screen, you let your head hang low to hide the fresh tears that burned along your waterline.

you’d been scrolling through facebook rather aimlessly when you came across the picture. at first, you thought that it was just an old one someone had reshared simply for nostalgia sake; one of those ‘on this day five years ago’ type things. then you had seen that it had only been posted an hour ago, so you tried convincing yourself that it wasn’t actually him in the photo — even though he’d been tagged in the fucking thing.

whether you could accept it or not, it was very much him. it was him sucking on the neck of your best friend, at a party he insisted that you couldn’t go to.

“what exactly am i looking at here?”

but to joost, it was just a picture of what he guessed was a house party. the girls were half dressed, the guys were clutching onto their beer cans, and nobody in sight looked sober. not exactly something worth crying over, he thought.

“that’s uh, that’s my boyfriend right there…and that’s my best friend next to him.”

he didn’t say anything for a minute; he didn’t really know what to say. joost just kept glancing back and forth between you and the computer screen, with his lips ever so slightly parted and the cigarette between his fingertips long forgotten about. he understood it now, and couldn’t blame you for any of the tears running down your cheeks anymore.

“for what it’s worth, i’m sorry. dude’s a fucking scumbag for doing that to you.”

you merely chuckled, the laugh coming out all dry and hoarse. ���you have no idea.”

it was a small comment, maybe just your own way of saying ‘yeah, i know’, but something about your choice of words made joost frown. he didn’t like the gut feeling it gave him, nor did he like the way he saw you flinch again, this time at the way he raised his hand, though only to toss his now burnt-out cigarette into the bin.

it was making him think, making him realise that, that definitely wasn’t the first time you’d reacted to something so minuscule like that. how even the slightest of movements normally had you ducking your head and cowering, with your shoulders all bunched up by your ears. and it was making him wonder if there was maybe another reason behind the clothes that you wore, besides how you just ran a little colder than the average person.

the crease in joost’s eyebrows deepened as he swivelled his seat more to face you rather than the computer, and rested a careful hand on your knee. as you looked up, he swapped his frown for a smile that you just about managed to mirror.

“i’m here if you wanna talk about anything, okay? i’m joost.”

when you told him your name back, he acted as though he hadn’t know what it was already.

the sudden ringing of your phone cut through the soft silence like a jagged knife, the sound of your shitty, pirated ‘AFI’ ringtone bringing a genuine smile to joost’s face as he got up to walk away. it was merely a formality at this point, stepping away to give someone a bit of ‘privacy’ whilst they took a phone call. joost could be all the way across the street and he’d still hear it, whether he was trying to or not.

although admittedly, this was one he was purposefully trying to eavesdrop on. he caught a glimpse of the caller ID — saw the bright red love heart next to the name ‘levi’. since it matched the name tagged in the photos, it was a safe assumption to presume it was the boyfriend calling.

he hoped to hear the guy grovel, begging on his knees for your forgiveness or at the very least offering you some kind of explanation. anything to prove this gut feeling of his wrong. but even the shouting from the other end of the line made joost wince, his palms starting to sweat as he began tidying up the other desks.

it started out as just pure name calling, accusing you of facebook-stalking his friends and not trusting him, that you were ‘fucking crazy’ and a ‘stupid little bitch’. then it became about how he’d already made it clear that you weren’t to go to the cafe tonight, not under any circumstances, and he could see online that you were.

joost really did try to busy himself, tried to grit his teeth and bear with what he was hearing this asshole scream at you. he wasn’t supposed to have been listening, anyway. he was supposed to have been staying away, like he was always meant to.

but he just couldn’t take it though, could he? he couldn’t handle hearing this boyfriend of yours threaten to beat you black and blue, and not for the first time this week. he had to storm across the room and snatch the phone right out of your hands, flipping it shut to disconnect the call. honestly, he probably would’ve smashed the fucking thing had you not taken it back from him and slipped it into your trouser pocket.

“tell me he didn’t mean that.”

you weren’t given a chance to scold him for his eavesdropping, even though you weren’t entirely sure how he was able to hear your conversation in the first place. joost was already staring you down, his arms crossed and chest heaving as he towered over you. you could almost feel the anger he radiated; see the darkening of his eyes and flare of his nostrils.

it was no wonder that you couldn’t look at him; you didn’t have the guts to.

“tell me he doesn’t fucking hit you.”

you couldn’t.

you couldn’t lie to him like that. you weren’t quite sure why, you were lying to everybody else in your life about it. he wasn’t the first to ask you that kind of question, and he wouldn’t be the last, either. but you just didn’t have it in you to try and feed him the same old bullshit that you always fed anyone else that asks you about it. chances were, he wouldn’t have believed it anyway.

so instead, you showed him. still with your eyes focused on the wall behind him, you peeled off that god-awful hoodie and let it fall to the floor, leaving you to shiver in a thin, white t-shirt. it exposed each and every single one of the bruises that levi had given you, both old and new, as well as those half-a-dozen little cuts that you’d given yourself.

you felt joost’s fingertips trail along every single one of the marks, gently brushing along the skin of your arms and only stopping once he reached your wrists. he hesitated then, though only because he didn’t want to hurt you anymore than you already had yourself. it was with such a delicate hold that he took your arms in his hands, turning them over in the light just so that he could see it all a little easier.

“this wasn’t him, was it?”

you already knew what he was referring to and so you shook your head, still too scared to meet his eyes. if you had, you would’ve seen his own tears welling up in his.

this was what he had been smelling. all those spots of blood pooling underneath your skin, slowly turning into bruises. the thin, red lines that ran up and down each one of your arms; some old and scabbed over, some not. all of it, every single mark, was why he could always smell so much blood on you.

joost didn’t even know he still knew how to cry, it had been so long. he hadn’t shed a tear in years; at least not since his…change. and you were the reason that streak was broken now, because he soon found himself dropping your arms to wipe the wet from his face, further smudging the dark eyeliner around his eyes.

“fuck, okay, we’re gonna…there’s a pull-out bed in the back, we’re gonna make you a bed for the night — for as long as you need. you’re not going back there.”

he was pacing around as he rambled, wiping the snot from his nose as he did so. by the time you’d pulled your hoodie back on he had a whole plan laid out for you, the kind that had you moving into the cafe, sleeping in the staff room, never to see your boyfriend again.

it was getting harder and harder to believe that this was the same guy that you’d heard so many horror stories about. all the gossip, the whispers, the rumours, they all painted joost out to be some kind of monster. yet here he was in tears over you, doing laps of the room with his hands pulling at his hair in a panic, all because he knew your secret now. knew that you’d been dealing with enough monsters of your own to know that he wasn’t one.

“why do you care, joost?” your voice betrayed you as you spoke because with each word it waivered, coming out all cracked and broken until you could barely say anything at all. “you don’t know me.”

“i do! i mean, i know enough to know that a guy like that is gonna fucking kill you one day and that can’t happen, okay? it can’t. do you understand that?”

in a moment of weakness he made his way back over to you and placed his hands on either side of your face, gently tilting your head up so you had no choice but to look at him. under the warm, yellow lights of the cafe you could see every ounce of fear in his eyes, feel the shake in his hands as he tucked loose strands of hair behind your ears.

“i’m sorry. i know that this is a lot and you don’t really know me like that but i need you to trust me, lieverd. i’m gonna keep you safe, i promise.”

just like that, every single one of those little promises that he’d made himself about staying away from you, gone.

you found yourself nodding before you’d really even given a thought to what it was you were actually agreeing to. just as long as joost kept looking at you like that, you’d probably agree to anything.

“okay, okay, that’s good. just…stay here, alright? i’ll be right back.”

you blinked, and you were alone.

the staff room door was open ajar now, with a dimmer, yellow light spilling out. there was a lot of faint rustling around; a few little bangs and crashes followed by some muffled swearing. besides that and the rain hitting against the cafe windows, it was silent — almost eerily so.

it gave you the space to actually try to understand what it was that was happening. joost was back there setting up that bed for you, turning the cafe's staff room into a makeshift bedroom, just as he promised. you wouldn’t be going home tonight, not tomorrow, maybe not ever. as for levi? it was hard to wrap your head around the fact that you weren’t ever going to see him again.

you took a seat back at your desk, closing each one of your tabs and logging out of whatever websites that you needed to. myspace, youtube, facebook; you had to stop and stare when that fucking picture popped up again.

calling her your best friend was a stretch, she was always more his friend than she ever was yours, but still, it stung. besides joost now, she was the only one who knew your secret, who’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time and seen him hit you so hard it knocked you clean off your feet. she still convinced you to stay, giving you the exact same excuses for it that levi did.

he was always stressed and going through something that you just wouldn’t understand, and you were always the one making him feel worse, so it really couldn’t be his fault then, could it?

you were just about to close that very last tab, the cursor hovering over the big red ‘x’ in the top right-hand corner, when the front door swung back open. the sudden ding of the electronic doorbell made you jump, as did the bang of the door slamming against the wall. you heard his voice before you saw him standing there on the worn-out welcome mat, soaking wet and seething.

“i fucking knew you were here.”

levi.

even from where you were sitting you could smell the alcohol on him, see the glazed-over look in his bloodshot eyes. peaking out from the collar of his jacket were small, dark hickies dotted all across his neck and there was a faint smudge of pink smeared across his bottom lip. he hadn’t even had the decency to clean himself up, to wipe the last speck of her literal fucking lipstick from off of his face.

“you little fucking bitch, what did i say to you, huh? i told you to stay home. why is it that you can’t ever fucking listen?”

“i’m not doing this with you, levi.”

he laughed at what you said, more so chuckled, darkly underneath his breath. he always found it funny when you tried to talk back to him, refusing to do whatever it was he demanded or throwing any of his endless insults right back at him. it didn’t happen often because when it did, you’d pay for it.

“oh yeah? you’re not gonna ‘do’ this with me? who the fuck do you think you are to say that to me?” when you didn’t say anything else and turned away from him, deciding to instead face the now black screen of your computer, he continued. “cmon, get the fuck up, we’re going home.”

you didn’t move. you focused on your breathing, focused on the feeling of the grey cotton between your fingers as you played with the fraying threads of your hoodie’s sleeves.

“i’m not talking to myself here. i said get up!”

levi’s voice bellowed from all the way across the room and you could’ve sworn that it made the keyboards shake. still, you stayed exactly where you were, making it clear to him that you weren’t going to be going anywhere tonight — especially not home, especially not with him.

being ignored like that was almost worse than anything you could’ve possibly said back to him. you've never done that before, never tried to disobey him quite so outrightly. you had always been one to break as soon as he’d raise his voice, a shadow of a smirk curling the corners of his lips as he’d dare you to say whatever it was again.

only this time, you weren’t saying anything at all, and he really didn’t like that.

his strides over to you were so quick that you didn’t have any time at all to react before you were being yanked out of your seat and dragged back over to the door. you were tripping over all of the other chairs as you tried to pull your arm free, begging for him to stop and to let you go whilst he dug his nails deeper into the flesh of your forearm.

it hadn’t even occurred to you that the background noise of joost moving furniture around couldn’t be heard anymore, that the staff room door was no longer closed ajar and instead now wide open. it hadn’t even occurred to you, not until levi was being teared away from you, leaving behind a small rip in your hoodie and faint claw marks in your skin.

from where you were standing now, you couldn’t see much anymore. tall, broad shoulders became the barrier that separated you from levi, keeping you hidden away from him. you weren’t sure how long joost had been back there listening, how he was able to intervene so quickly or how he had the strength to toss your boyfriend almost to the other side of the room. you were just grateful for it, for him, and tightly clutched onto one of his arms so that he couldn’t disappear on you again.

“woah, what the fuck is this? who the fuck are you?”

levi had knocked into a couple of desks as he stumbled but eventually found his footing, his leather jacket hanging off of his shoulders from where joost had yanked at it. he shrugged it back on, eyes glued onto and glaring at the man you were cowering behind. neither of you expected him to start laughing like how he did, a deep, bitter chuckle that somehow made the air around you feel colder.

“so this is what she’s been doing here all this time, huh? been fucking around with some freak behind my back?”

“get out.”

there was no laughter in joost’s voice, no humour peaking through the cracks of his expression. there was only a silent begging behind his anger, a slight pleading in his words because joost already knew how this would end if levi didn’t turn on his heel and run.

but levi just wasn’t one to listen, was he?

instead he made a beeline for what was now your bedroom, supposedly, with no regard for the ‘staff only’ sign that was stuck to the door. without even taking a full step inside he could see the sofa bed that had been pulled out for you, decorated with scattered cushions and a messed up, old white duvet. it didn’t matter that it actually wasn’t what it looked like, because he’d already made his mind up and seeing that was all the ‘proof’ that he needed.

so levi wasn’t laughing anymore as he slowly turned around, now in a position where you were in his full view. he could see how you had yourself wrapped around joost’s arm, almost hugging it, and was starting to shrink under his gaze. he stared you both down for a moment before he locked eyes with you, his teeth gritted and jaw twitching.

“you fucking whore, you’re so fucking dead -”

he’d charged at you with one hand balled up into a fist and the other stretched out, a single finger pointing right at you. you jumped back and away from joost, your arms up and shielding your head as you turned away and readied yourself to feel it. a hard knee to the stomach, a sharp pull at your hair, something.

you only moved again when you heard a small whimper; an impossibly pathetic sound that you’d never heard before, but one that only levi could have made. you lowered your arms and raised your head, and immediately crashed into the desk behind you, choking on a cry that became lodged in your throat.

joost; sweet, misunderstood joost had his hand plunged inside levi’s chest, his fingers wrapped around and squeezing at his heart. those once soft blue eyes of his were now a deep, glowing shade of red, and as he grinned, you caught a glimpse of two long, sharp fangs. blood stained his lips and dribbled down his chin as he took a chunk out of levi’s neck, swallowing down every last piece of flesh and spitting out the odd little bone.

and he started to moan into it with each large gulp that he took, becoming so lost in the pleasure of it all that for just a moment, he seemed to forget that you were there. it had just been so long since he’d last indulged like this — feeling that warm rush of blood slide down the back of his throat, the heavy pulse of his prey slowly growing weaker and weaker.

joost didn’t stop until whatever was left of levi’s head was in one hand and his still heart was in the other, his body already turning cold at his feet. he easily could have stayed there for a little while longer, gone in for seconds and thirds perhaps, when he finally hears you. he hears you choking on your tears, on the single breath that you were holding.

you hadn’t been able to look away even though you had so desperately wanted to; you could feel the image of levi standing there all helpless, his mouth bobbing up and down as he tried so hard to scream out, burning into your eyes.

“lieverd?…”

his voice was so gentle, sounding almost frightened, and yet you still jumped when joost finally spoke. he was just standing there staring at you, eyes all wide, with blood smeared across his face and splattered across his button-up shirt. even as he stood above the body parts of your boyfriend, joost somehow looked small now, like a dog that had been found chained to a fence for a few too many days.

for every step that he tried to take towards you, you took another five back, carefully inching your way closer and closer towards the front door as you did so. you could see it start to click in his head, the welling up of tears in his eyes as he glanced back and forth between you and the door.

“no no no, please, please don’t do that. i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry. please, i’m not gonna hurt you, please don’t go.”

joost took another step forward and you shrieked, bumping hard into the wall behind you, scraping your elbow against the brick. you hadn’t needed to say anything after that, hadn’t needed to beg for him to let you go because you watched him recoil, his hands held up in surrender.

you took one last look at levi, at what was left of him.

“fuck, i didn’t…i’m so sorry, lieverd.”

and you ran, without ever looking back.

[commodorez]

What do you think would surprise a person from the 1950s most about modern computers?

How disposable they've become. We toss away computers like old socks.

How we got away from the model of timesharing for so long, only to go right back to cloud computing. People were so eager to personalize the experience, it's why things like the PDP-1 came into existance in the late 50s.

How much software went from this thing that was freely, openly shared as just a point of fact to a world where people pay for software regularly.

How much people trust a computer to think for them. A computer cannot think, it can only do math really fast, *you* have to think about how to make use of that platform to make your workload easier. People using computers in the 50s understood this implicitly, and now some people want shitty autocomplete to do the hard part for them. The human tasks that are worth doing, but that's a whole rant in itself.

How much computers just get powered off, or just run without doing anything, because of how plentiful and commonplace they are. In the 50s, no computer time was wasted, it was too expensive. If the machine was operational back then, it was busy.

[bluebelleisabelle]

OH MY GOD THIS NEW EPISODE WAS ABSOLUTELY INSANE!! I am really interested in something in particular.

‼️TADC EPISODE 5 SPOILERS INCOMING‼️

I am particularly fixated on Pomni's lore drop regarding her previous life and the fact that she enjoys exploring abandoned buildings (same). I've heard other people mention the heavy implication that Pomni was exploring the C&A building, which had since been abandoned, and she found the headset there. This makes the pilot episode even more intriguing to me.

In this image from the pilot, in which we see the headset that Pomni supposedly put on, a lot of people were wondering why the paraphernalia looked so old compared to modern VR headsets.

The building was abandoned.

That's why everything looked so old and... discarded.

The question is: did everyone enter the circus via the same computer? If so, this implies that their bodies disappear, or if not disappear, then they're... disposed of. Which only causes more questions to arise.

Other question: Why was the building abandoned with all of this extremely powerful technology? Knowing how powerful it is, I imagine it wouldn't be left behind on purpose, unless it was deemed too dangerous to use again. Maybe there was controversy that ensued with the company due to the frequent number of people that went missing there. That is what may have led to its shutdown.

And Pomni's reaction here was what everyone suspected. This is the look of someone who has seen this before. Someone who has history with it. This is not Pomni's first time seeing this headset and computer, and it nearly breaks her.

When Pomni enters this office space, she stiffens, her reaction a bit delayed, but very prominent. Listen, I could be reaching. Pomni may just be reacting to the fact that the supposed “exit door” isn’t leading to a clear exit, but also… what if the space looked familiar to her? When before she was walking through the space, this is the moment when she begins running.

ANOTHER INTERESTING NOTE

Zooble is the second recent human to end up in the circus, as well as someone who admits to having also explored abandoned buildings. Although they don't admit that that's how they ended up in the circus, neither does Pomni. Also…

Jax proceeds to call Zooble out for “hiding something”, as though they’re intentionally leaving out information.

It seems that this building has been abandoned for some time. This means that the building was likely abandoned by the time Zooble ended up in the circus, meaning that they could have ended up there the same way as Pomni.

Why else would Zooble share that they'd also engaged in the same activity, if not for the viewer's sake when the truth is ultimately revealed.

This means that many characters, such as Kinger or an abstracted character, may have put on the headset while the company was still active, perhaps.

Now I'll return back to Pomni's line in episode 3.

"He just wants me to suffer."

Who is he? We've already established that it's likely not Caine, but rather a figure from Pomni's previous life. However, with the knowledge that Pomni likely discovered the headset in an abandoned building, then who else would possibly be involved? Was she not exploring these buildings alone? Was there someone else who peer pressured her into putting on the headset?

Guys, it’s 1:30 my time, and I need to go to bed. Thanks for listening to my insane rambling lol.

[socialboxbizsblog-blog]

Reuse, Donate, Reduce CO2 -- Don’t just recycle your old IT

Choose SocialBox.Biz to RE-USE before recycling old computers in London and UK and donate usable tech, cutting CO2 emissions and supporting UK communities. Secure, hassle-free process helps London businesses upgrade sustainably, aligning with ESG goals while empowering those in need. Reuse first, recycle last—make your tech upgrades count.

Read the blogs: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/socialboxbizsblog-blog https://medium.com/@info_81043

[merrydock]

Some old art of my Owlk engineer, Eris, designing the Stranger's solar sails! Enjoy a big ramble about him and his job because I love this silly man:

Eris works on the design team for the Owlk space program, specialising in energy and propulsion technologies for the ships, satellites, and probes. Having a design philosophy of functionality and beauty, Eris enjoys going all-out with his work. He has received special recognition for his solar panel designs in particular, which borrowed from the unparalleled efficiency found in photosynthesizing plants.

When designing the Stranger's solar sails, Eris took inspiration from plants, but also the opening of insect elytra; the ballooning behaviours of silk-producing invertebrates, in which they sail from tree to tree using electric fields and air currents; and how flying creatures will use thermal updrafts to soar higher while expending less energy. Already familiar with how solar energy impacts technology from his work on solar panels, he proposed the use of this energy to propel the Stranger through space.

As travelling the distance between stars presented the major roadblock in the plan to reach the Eye (regarded as the Interstellar Propulsion Problem), Eris was lauded for his contributions, promoted to being one of the main engineers overseeing the Stranger's design.

More information about his general design process below!

When designing for a project, Eris uses all of the tools at his disposal. His first weapon of choice is always his pencil, and he will sketch out potential sources of inspiration on paper until the design concept begins to take form. Based on the initial project parameters he's been given, he drafts up a blueprint for his components.

Next, he must further conceptualise his designs. This is where the most valuable tool of the trade comes into play—the Vision Torch! Vision Torches serve many purposes for Owlks, from allowing them to nonverbally communicate to creating photographs from memory alone. Owlk engineers LOVE Vision Torches for how easy they make effectively communicating ideas. They allow concepts to be visualised in 3D, basic functionality to be shown through animations, and are even able to interface with computers. Eris might even 3D print a model using a Vision Torch to help him visualise his concepts as he works.

The space program is extremely collaborative, and Eris works on just a small part of the overall project, so being able to easily share ideas with others and see how all the individual components of a satellite or ship interact is vital. When discussing with more than a single other Owlk, Eris can use a Vision Torch linked to a holographic display to present concepts to a crowd. Concepts can also be tweaked in real time this way!

[Here's an example from the game of Owlks building the simulation with Vision Torches and a holographic display!]

With a Vision Torch, concepts can also be directly uploaded to a computer terminal. This is where a lot of the real work gets done - calculating weight, materials needed, stress testing in simulations, calculating trajectories, making precise tweaks to finalize the design, you name it. This also allows other Owlks working closely with Eris to access the most current design for their own tests.

This is an iterative process - as other Owlks finalize their components, as weight limitations are further restrained and material needs are calculated, Eris often has to go back to an earlier step and rework his concept. Fortunately, he thoroughly enjoys getting to be creative in his work (and doing math) and treats every project as a puzzle that needs to be solved! The only time when he's not excited to go back to the drawing board is when a last-minute adjustment from his peers means he needs to work long hours to get his work done in time for launch.

[velvet-games]

he’s so normal :)

I actually drew this before a lot of the recent stuff I've been posting; it was just me trying to figure out a good redesign for vox. I might make a proper redesign explanation later, but here are some quick notes while I'm still playing with it:

vox trapzod and alastor trongle :)

^^ ok but unironically this was kind of a hard decision since I have mixed feelings about vox's body type

stuff I was considering:

1) vox is alastor's foil and has a similar body type to alastor at least in part because you're supposed to be comparing them (It's actually so cool cause I was watching TB Skyen's reaction to ep 2 and he immediately predicted that they would have beef lol)

2) tumblr sexyman bod <3

3) I LOVE @/bestosunglass' way of drawing him, and it made me realize that I kind of love the idea of vox being a little bigger than alastor? it's very big himbo puppy + lithe cat energy

4) not sure what my headcanons about vox's body are in terms of biological vs tech yet, but I think I want to lean toward tech (which is customizable)

I love the angst concept of vox having the freedom to change his body with relative ease, which makes him feel like he has to constantly update and update and update and update and update and it's never good enough because he could always change something and he'll never quite be good enough--

basically being a victim to his own progress-oriented mindset

and also treating himself like a product; if it's not working, if it's not the best, newest model, then it's broken and useless and disposable

tbh alastor's ability to find beauty and art in the old (not necessarily based on function, but on character and care) would be good for him

ooc or not, as someone with dysmorphia issues myself, I really want an "I like your body because it's yours" moment from alastor

I think all of that + toxic masculinity would probably mean vox would make himself comically buff (at least at first) lol

5) but I like drawing him kinda scrawny ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's just weird because I kind of want to audience to pick up on the fact that he's not actually hypermasc but vox would totally (mostly successfully) broadcast that to the characters in the show

6) I think a trapezoid is a good shape for him! it contrasts well with alastor being a kind of sly and striking triangle shape. trapezoids are more interesting and dynamic than rectangles, but are still more stiff and business-like than triangles (p sure I am completely misunderstanding shape theory here but it makes sense to me lmao)

vox is such a mess of vibes? like he's a cult leader he's a televangelist he's a hypnotist he's a business shark he's a tech CEO he's a newscaster he's a TV he's a computer he's a literal shark he's a mastermind he's a pathetic fanboy

still not sure which of those is the most important/what should be obvious in his design

obsessed with the concept of TV knobs as buttons but it's kind of old fashioned

I headcanon him as having been a nerdy kid that got kicked in the shins for being obsessed with TV/tech lol

also hc him as being vaguely and very obliviously transfemme; the buffness can also be overcompensating for a lack of masculinity both physically and mentally

[darkestheartofmachine]

a few top!male!player/bottom!harley sawyer AU ideas, which idk, if i will ever do something with, but maybe someone else just might? so basically, if someone likes smth in here and wants to draw / write it, feel free. i might one day use those ideas too, but granted, we prob will explore / exploit them differently anyways. so no harm is done. 

anyways. 

priest harley and organist angel. angel is hired to be a new organist, when church's old one fully retires. and harley, who is well, man of ‘god’, so basically a loser old virgin (he’s always been that for me) feels strange things toward angel. at first, he hates him, bc of course, he would. but then the longer angel sticks around, the more harley begins to stare at him with something besides annoyance and he also finds his music talents to be quite breathtaking. and it is considering that he never cared about music. angel is mute in this, but it’s known that once upon a time he was part of a boy choir, when he was a kid. what exactly happened to make him stop speaking is unknown. but he supposedly had a good voice once upon a time. this whole scenario can be set in any timeline. like 80s, 40s or even smth like 1890 tbh. since the main problem for harley here is forbidden lust for a man. which is a sin or smth. this also can go two ways. like forbidden romance or harley going low-key frollo here and ‘hellfire, hellfire’ lol. 

angel is elliot’s son / nephew and when elliot dies, he basically becomes playtime co CEO. harley is harley. in other words, he now has a young boss, who seemingly harasses him for lols. angel can be a spoiled, stubborn brat in this and initiate his and harley’s sexual (at first) relationships, as well as be pretty much aware about all the horror playtime co does to kids, so i guess in this AU, it’s full blown dark!angel, who is just well, bored and evil. and wants to bend one specific doctor over the table. in the end, he’s also the one who gives a command to turn harley into a robot / computer. out of love tho. very twisted love. 

AU, where leith ends up never reached to harley, so he still works at his old job and never steps inside the playtime co factory. angel also doesn’t work for playtime co in this and instead a mechanic at local car fix center. he and harley met, when harley’s car breaks down and well, basically, they maintain romantic relationships throughout all of this. in other words, this is AU where everything is normal and nothing hurts, and harley is a slightly better person than in canon, but only bc no one allowed him to murder people and experiment on children lol. aside from that, he still sucks. 

childhood friends AU, where angel is around the same age as harley and remains his only friend / close person almost throughout his whole life. to the point, where harley’s passiveness and clinginess to him goes full blown nuclear yaoi level. i imagine, that they have the longest slow burn ever, but also that good ole codependency, where angel pretty much gets committed to just being harley’s whatever he wants. harley for his part keeps other people away from angel. including other friends / potential lovers and so on. in this AU, he drags angel along with him to work at a playtime co factory, where angel can be mechanic / janitor / idk anything, that doesn’t connect with deeper levels of the factory. so he’s unaware about what job harley does, actually or what company does to kids. when shit hits the fan, howerer, instead of sticking around and finding out, harley who knows that jig is up and that he’d be disposed of, makes a run for it, dragging angel along. throughout the course of it, angel pretty much finds out what kind of messed up person harley truly is, the full extend of it, but he is still on the run with him, anyways. feeling torn about what harley did and also knowing that the other man is pretty much dependent on him, and seemingly truly afraid, that angel will abandon him. which he doesn’t, bc at this point, he’s conditioned to be there for harley first and everything else later. this one along with priest AU is the most appealing to me, won’t lie. 

AU where playtime co is a psychiatric facility and angel is a patient. harley is a psychiatrist, but i imagine, that he along with others will still experiment on patients. every toy here is an adult and a human, so this can be your cue. like, each of them have disorders, but instead of helping them harley and the co do some stuff with them. idk what specifically, but smth to do with the brain, i think. angel doesn’t speak and appears to have amnesia, he doesn’t remember what he did to get here, and harley exploits it. naturally, unethical relationships are being formed, where angel accidently seduces his psychiatrist, esp since the old fart apparently likes to be smacked around. 

and the last one, angel is part of IT team or someone, who has to maintain sawyer’s systems, when he becomes a machine. they didn’t met prior to this and for his part, angel assumes that harley was just that. a super intelligent machine, not once a human. harley who is bitter, lonely and just generally hates everyone around him, finds himself enjoying angel’s company as well as seeing means to get back at leith and others via him. he can attempt to slowly manipulate angel into doing his biddings, while accidentally getting attached to him as well along the way. 

[kagecreep]

Midnight Burns (VxMC)

(KillerChat)

Description: You have trouble sleeping. V calls you at midnight, and a few little secrets slip out from both your lips.

Two requests mixed together: V who's weak for compliments & a MC who loves V's voice.

Notes: this takes place b4 you meet irl (: i gave you a lil username just for funsies and to make it a little easier to read WC: 3.2k

━─━────༺༻────━─━

Despite all your best efforts, the dawn had forgotten your name. Your sleep began early in the morning, before sunrise, and slept a scant 4 hours. Fortunately, being in an online server with people around the world, there was always someone to keep you company. Unfortunately that server happened to be filled with murderers; for better or worse, they were more welcoming than anyone else you knew, and you were assured that turning to them would bring nothing but comfort.

Tonight, however, no one was online. You scrolled up and down the different chats mindlessly, your head leaning heavily into your palm. You could write, but opening the blank page was more of a taunt than a call to productivity. Nothing was on your mind. You needed more inspiration from your latest muse before continuing with your next part of the story. To your disappointment, V was not online.

With a sigh, you left your computer on your desk, and left downstairs to fetch something to eat. You returned to your room quickly with an old bowl of pasta in hand, crawling back into your chair. 

You squinted at the bright screen, scrolling through the server channels and members one last time before vowing to work on your book. Upon seeing a notification, however, your vow was promptly tossed out the window, and you clicked into your chat with K9.

<K9> [23:00] Good evening. I know it is late, however I was hoping you could spare some time to answer a few of my questions.

You blinked several times, fingers hovering over the keyboard before you typed in your response.

<scaredevil> [23:12] yeah, i'm not doing anything. whats up? you want to call? <K9> [23:12] That would be preferrable.  Thank you for indulging me. 

Not a second later and he was calling you. You quickly brushed your hair with your fingers and accepted, sitting up a little straighter in your chair.

"Midnight calls, hm?" You said before he could speak. "Some of the other server members might think we're up to something."

"None of the other server members are able to see our private calls," he said flatly.

"Goreboy is,"  you said.

He grunted––obviously dissatisfied with that truth.

"You raise a good point. Perhaps I shall set up our own private server––remove goreboy from the equation altogether," he said, knitting his fingers together beneath his chin.

"A server just for us? Sounds intimate," you said, grinning as you leaned in.

A soft, dark blush crept onto his face.

"Nonsense. It's simply a matter of privacy. Do you not resent the idea of being monitored, as I do?"

"I do... but not really enough to do anything about it. I don't know much about coding, anyway," you said, leaning on your palm. "Besides, we live in a surveillance state."

"All the more reason to protect yourself," he said, his eyes narrowing. "You must be skilled at disposing of bodies to be so careless in hiding your identity."

You shrugged. You had tried many times to tell him, both in humorous and serious tones, that you were not a serial killer. He never listened, insistent that his gut instinct was never wrong. Some part of you found it amusing, but at least his vehement search for you allowed you to spend some time with him, even if it was filled with both vague and direct threats on your life.

"Before we start with questions... how are you feeling tonight?" He asked.

"Tired," you said, tapping your fingers against your cheek.

"Have you not been sleeping well?"

"Not really."

He nodded softly.

"I understand. I, too, have many a night where sleep evades my grasp. Can you do anything about it? Do you have medicines?" He asked in a softer tone, leaning in.

"Yeah, but they don't tend to work." You glanced up at him. "Why do you care?"

He stuttered for a moment, hands falling out of sight of the camera.

"It is... important to lead a balanced life. That way I will be the one to take you down––not some useless meandering cop or your own poorly-managed lifestyle," he said.

"Sounds... intimate," you said with a lazy smile.

He hesitated, lips parted and eyes darting to the side and back to you as he contemplated your words and his own response. 

"I... hesitate to admit this, but my vendetta is... personal, when it comes to you. I cannot figure you out. I suppose nothing is more alluring than a mystery," he said, once more folding his fingers together beneath his chin and leaning in.

"I've told you before," you chuckled, "I'm no mystery. I'm a writer."

"Yes, so you've said, and with all due respect, I do not believe it. Now if you don't mind, I would like you to answer my questions," he said.

"Of course. What's on your mind?"

"My first question. What is your favourite time of day?"

A grip creeped across your lips, devolving into giggles.

"Your questions have such a sweet facade," you said, shaking your head. "How is knowing my favourite time of day going to help you catch me?"

"Answer the question, please," he said, sighing roughly.

"Fine." You paused, biting back your smile. "I love the dawn."

"The dawn?" He repeated, eyes widening. "Interesting. You are not often online during those hours."

"I'm usually asleep then."

"Then... how is it your favourite time of day?"

"Oh, you know," you said, grunting as you stretched back in your chair, "it's a beautiful time. Renewal, quiet, and peace. My body just... doesn't... well, to be honest, I usually end up falling asleep just before dawn. Dawn hath abandoned me, and visits me no longer."

"I see."

You weren't sure if he believed you or not. You supposed it didn't matter. Before he could ask his next question, you spoke first.

"What's your favourite time of day?" You asked.

Again his eyes widened imperceptibly, taken aback by the reciprocation.

"I do not see how that is important," he said.

"You know my favourite, why can't I know yours? I already told you I'm no good at hacking, or finding people. I'm just curious," you said, shrugging.

"For all I know, that could have been a lie. But... I suppose it is only fair. I prefer the night. The vermin come out of the filth and reveal their nature, and I await them in the dark," he said, his eyes narrowing. 

He glanced up from the intensity of his thoughts and found you beaming across the screen. He raised a single brow.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked roughly.

"Nothing, I just..."

What were you smiling about? You thought for a moment. It could be any number of things, really––his voice, his manner of speaking, the intensity of his conviction. Each of these things melted you a little bit, and the fluffy covers of your bed suddenly didn't seem so unfriendly.

"... I like the way you talk. Your words. Your voice. It's very... pretty," you murmured.

He froze, his face quickly turning a deep shade of red.

"Y -" he choked on his own breath. "R... really?"

"Yeah," you sighed. "It's a shame you use it to threaten me."

He blinked several times, glancing to the side.

"W - well... I suppose... I could hold off on my search, for tonight," he said, his eyes returning to you. "If that would please you."

You smiled. The juxtaposition of him attempting to please you and promising to kill you at the same time––it tingled inside you. A wonderfully chaotic rush.

"I don't think you'd lose much by taking a break for now," you chuckled softly.

He wouldn't lose anything because he had nothing to gain. You hid nothing. Except your name, of course.

"Then... what would you like to talk about?" He asked hesitantly.

"Mmm... I don't know," you hummed, staring in a somewhat dreamy trance at your screen. "I just like spending time with you."

You weren't sure how much more of this V could take. You could practically feel the heat of his blush through the computer, and you drank in each micro-expression––the widening eyes, twitching lips, fidgeting fingers––with absurd delight.

"You... are incredibly odd," he finally stuttered out, unable to meet your eye, even through the camera.

"Is it odd to find you endearing and beautiful?"

Now you had gone too far. He hadn't even replied and you were melting with embarrassment just watching him react to your words, as though it flowed off him in such excess that it somehow reached you.

"I - it is, um, quite odd," he eventually said, staring at his keyboard.

Despite going too far, you couldn't help yourself, and dug your trench even deeper.

"Sorry," you said. "I can't help it. Even if you are planning to kill me, I can't deny... nor should I, really, that you're very handsome. And I enjoy your company. I might even tell you my address so you can be the last thing I see before I die."

He slammed his fingers against the keyboard, and with a panicked expression, hung up.

You stared at your chat for a whole minute, eyes wide from his sudden reaction. Slowly you leaned forward and began to type.

<scaredevil> [23:21] did i do something wrong?

It took him several more minutes to reply, and he took a long while to type out his message.

<K9> [23:27] No.  I apologize for ending our call so abruptly. I was... suddenly busy. <scaredevil> [23:27] you're not a very good liar, you know <K9> [23:27] ... I suppose there's no avoiding it then.  As much as I am disinclined to admit it, I was very flattered by your comments. A little too flattered.

You stared at the screen. What did he mean?

<scaredevil> [23:28] were you like..... taking a cold shower....? <K9> [23:29] I was not. I spent my time away tending to one of my rabbits. As a bonus, the activity aided in calming me. I have no affinity for cold showers anyway.

You debated your next message for a moment, heart racing as you sent it.

<scaredevil> [23:29] can we call again? <K9> [23:29] I do not believe that is a good idea.

Your heart deflated in your chest.

<scaredevil> [23:30] why not? :( <K9> [23:30] I am worried you will return to your previous barrage of compliments. ... It is not a good idea. <scaredevil> [23:30] please v? i love hearing your voice

Nothing. The marker to show his typing didn't even appear.

<scaredevil> [23:31] im sorry for pushing you i really am i didn't mean to offend you i just wanted to express a little how i felt fuck i'll stop

You curled up in your desk chair, legs to your chest, and hid your face in your knees. How embarrassing. A deep, cold, and breaking sensation crackled through your ribs.

The computer dinged, and your head shot up.

<K9> [23:38] You did not offend me. I am simply... unaccustomed to people thinking of me in such a way. It has not ever occurred before.

You quickly began to type a response.

<scaredevil> [23:38] never? thats hard to believe <K9> [23:38] Is it? I am not the most sociable of creatures. Nor am I approachable. Most would consider me imposing, or even menacing. I am not sure I have ever been called handsome, much less... beautiful. <scaredevil> [23:38] is it weird that i feel kinda accomplished to be your first? i have a little award no one else will ever have <K9> [23:38] Not the most fantastic of accomplishments, but I will not deny you your feelings on the matter. <scaredevil> [23:38] thanks :) not to freak you out again but you're sweet <K9> [23:39] Another compliment. ... Thank you.

You drummed the edge of your keyboard with your fingertips, biting at your lip. Exhaustion freely visited you but rarely came with the comfort of sleep; V's voice, the deep, dulcet tones, was a ready substitute. When he kept his words soft and yielding, you could even hear sleep knocking at your distant door. It was a lot to ask, especially after freaking him out so much, but the desperation within you was clawing. Regret would make you bleed if you didn't at least ask.

<scaredevil> [23:41] i know this is a little odd you don't have to say yes, but well to be honest, your voice has a calming effect on me. i was hoping maybe you could help me fall asleep... please. <K9> [23:42] ... Your request is strange, but... acceptable. I will aid you. <scaredevil> [23:42] that's very kind of you <K9> [23:42] Kindness is a trait I strive to exemplify in my life. But thank you. You are the first person in the server to take note of it.

A moment later and he was requesting to call you. You hurried over to bed, carrying your laptop over, and jumped beneath the covers before answering. There was barely enough time to settle your head into your pillow before the call loaded.

He let out some quiet grunting noise upon seeing you, raising his brow.

"You are... already in bed," he said slowly.

Oh, that deep, amber voice, you thought to yourself dreamily. You decided not to inform him of your delight in hearing him.

"Of course I am," you said, hiding half your face behind your blankets. "I'm not going to sleep at my desk.

"I would think not. I was... just not expecting you to already be... in bed."

You giggled, shying further into your covers.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked softly.

You nodded.

"Good," he said in a somewhat stiff tone, giving a curt nod. "If it's... not too much to ask, I would like to see your face. Consider it a favour in return for helping you to fall asleep."

It was a fair request, though you felt some embarrassment at the idea of him being able to fully see you as you drifted off to sleep. Still, with a creeping blush you lowered your blanket, revealing your face squished into your pillow. A subtle but surely there smile warmed V's expression.

"Ah, there you are," he said, leaning in, his hands lax beneath his chin. "If we are being honest tonight, I will admit you are quite beautiful, as well. A light in the dim wake of reality."

You chuckled, attempting poorly to hide your blushing face in your pillow. But your eyes remained on your screen, entranced with him.

"Charming words," you said.

"And yet speaking nothing but the truth. Now please, tell me––how can I be of service to you?"

It was your turn now to flush, to be filled with a warmth that urged you to run far away just to compose yourself. A hundred different things whirled through your head; would he really do anything for you if you simply asked with a sweet 'please' at the end? Surely not. Logically there was some limit. But your imagination knew no such word.

"You can talk about anything," you said, wishing you could hide your face again. "You can even read me a story if you fancy it."

"Anything?" He asked, raising his brow. "Are you sure?"

"Of course."

He thought for a moment, then suddenly stood, disappearing out of the camera's sight for a couple minutes. You thought to call out but decided against it, and patiently waited for him to return. 

He reappeared with a book in hand, opening it on the desk in front of him. It was a small book––barely the size of his hand––and coloured in pale earthy tones, though the title remained obscured from your vision.

"This is a collection of Persian poetry," he said, smoothing out the pages. "I... sometimes read it when I am in need of relaxation. Though at times the prose can be... quite stimulating to the intellect. I hope that, as I do, you will find it calming."

Poetry at midnight. Poetry with V, at midnight, in your bed, as he would slowly watch you sleep. 

There were worse ways to die.

With your heart pounding as intensely as it was, sleep was the furthest thing from your mind and desires––but you had asked for his help, and he had so kindly acquiesced, so you did your best to settle into the covers and slow your racing heart.

He turned a few pages, and you watched with fluttering eyes.

"Ah. Here is a poet I much admire. A mystic Sufi from the 8th century... a woman. Rabia al Basri. Let us begin."

He spoke slowly, with emphasis, with quiet adoration for the artwork of words––the intertwining taste of writer and experience, combined into a painting of poetry.

I have loved Thee with two loves - a selfish love and a love that is worthy of Thee. As for the love which is selfish, Therein I occupy myself with Thee, to the exclusion of all others. But in the love which is worthy of Thee, Thou dost raise the veil that I may see Thee. Yet is the praise not mine in this or that, But the praise is to Thee in both that and this.

"Here is another one, by Rumi. Another mystic from the 13th century," he said.

The Friend comes into my body looking for the center, unable to find it, draws a blade, strikes anywhere.

There is a light seed grain inside. You fill it with yourself, or it dies.

I am caught in this curling energy, your hair! Whoever is calm and sensible is insane.

Do you think I know what I am doing? That for one breath or half-breath I belong to myself? As much as a pen knows what it is writing, or the ball can guess where it is going next.

We have a huge barrel of wine, but no cups. That is fine with us. Every morning, we glow and in the evening we glow again.

They say there is no future for us. They are right. Which is fine with us.

Slowly you drifted away, eyes drifting shut, mind drifting off, as sleep melted into your skin like a warm rose oil. The depth of his voice, the luxuriant taste, imbued itself into your dreams. He spoke only a few more poems before you were gone, your eyes firmly closed and lips softly parted.

He closed the book quietly and set it aside. For a few minutes unbeknownst to your consciousness he watched you, eyes darting across your features as sparks of his own wandering mind came about. He wondered, though he didn't mean to, what your skin would feel like beneath his fingers. How warm your body would be beneath a shared blanket. The thought was inappropriate, and he quickly dismissed it.

He did, however, allow himself one last indulgence.

You were not his love. You had done nothing of the sort to indicate comfort in being referred to as such. But given your kindness––your gentle amiability––he was assured you were much beloved of someone.

"Good night, beloved," he murmured, lingering for a moment more, before ending the call.

Your computer quietly turned itself off.