#dont know if Im too optimistic for the future?

[hulknussen]

alba is doing british f4 alongside f1 academy. she's part of chris dittmann racing, and the first british f4 (dont mistake it for gb4!) race is already this month, 26th-27th of april at donnington park. you'll be able to watch it on youtube here

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

[cns-mari]

I AM GIGGLING???? sm happened in E4 ITS INSANEE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT !! (as well as me js ranting abt them and the show HELP)

AWW THE WAY DINA LOOKS AT ELLIE WHILE SHE PLAYS GUITAR I AM SCREAMINGGG

pls i need a dina who looks at me like this (or can i be someones dina I WANNA HAVE SOMEONE TO LOOK AT THEM LIKE THIS DUDE im crashing tf out) AND DINA STARTED TEARING UP??? yeah kill me THATS SO SWEET WTHH D: "What's up with all the rainbows?" E: "I don't know, maybe they were all optimists or something." LFMAOAO IM PISSING MYSELF No guys theyre js representing what you are dw about it HELP

PLS THE ENTIRE SCENE WHERE THEY WERE JS RUNNING FROM THE GUYS?? AND THE INFECTED??? BRO THAT HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WHY TF WERE THERE SM INFECTED WHATTT

not ellie also taking the bite for dina LIKE I JS KNEW THATD TAKE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DINA

like ellie ily but u could have explained that u were immune to dina while you guys were on ur way to seattle but i do see why that also wouldnt have worked

AND OH MY GOD NOT DINA HOLDING A GUN TO ELLIE??? istg i genuinely thought that dina was gonna shoot ellie for a min but glad it worked out (cos obv plot wise how tf would that work)

"i'm pregnant." AND THEN YOU GUYS START HAVING SEX?? IM FUCKING WEAKKKK BAHAHAHA

you guys go on and do it cos its litch the apocolypse so go one who cares fr

E: "why now?" D: "I thought you were gone. And then all of a sudden, this future I was imagining wasn't gonna happen. Where we're together, and we have a kid and... I don't even know if you want that." E: "I want it with you."

DINA DONT BREAK MY HEART RNNN UGHH

istg if anything happens to them im going to go insane and crash the fuck out

AWW THE ENTIRE FAMILY THING IS SO CUTE IM ACTUALLY NOT OKAYYY lesbians for the win

i feel like they'd be so cute w a daughter BAHAHA like idk why but i can see them as a family unit with a daughter, not a son for some reason

but regardless i'd like to imagine that they love their child no matter what, of this i'm sure <3

I GUESS that Jesse would also have to pay child support?? and obv if he wanted to he could have visitation w his kid cos biologically it is his child but i think that the kid would deffo be raised w Ellie n Dina in their home

omg maybe it would be Joel's home where they raise the kid in UGHH KILL ME

it's sweet but also so harsh idk its bittersweet to me

E: "You pee on it?" D: "I don't piss on random things for no reason."

STOP IM SO DEAD RN BAHAHA

also her taking FOUR pregnancy tests is so real u can never be too sure frfr

DINA'S CONFUSION ABT HER SEXUALITY IS SO REALLL

pls i relate to her sm w like repressing your sexual identity COS OH MY GOD REAL?? esp the part where she told HER MOTHER LIKE??? omg congrats to her for being confident enough to tell her mother but i hate her response, tfym "no, you only like boys" THATS GONNA MESS A KID UP EVEN MORE???

like dina litch says "i got stuck" LIKE OFC SHES GONNA BE EVEN MORE CONFUSED?? and also the burden to js be heterosexual as thats the norm no matter what time period ur in is gonna also come into play

"I tried to make things work with Jesse because I like him, I do. I think he's a really great guy. But he wasn't the one"

STOP THIS MAKES SM SENSE NOW W THE "do you think Jesse's a sad guy?" AND THE "I hope that that's just how he is inside, otherwise it would be me" OH MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

guys i could talk sm abt this but im not going to cos unfortunately im gonna go off on a massive tangent </3

"you sure it's jesse's?" way to call your gf a whore ellie HELP LMFAO

E: "So we're all having a baby. Holy shit. I'm gonna be a dad."

HELL YEAH NOT ELLIE JS TAKING ON THE DAD ROLE LMFAO???

pls i love ellie x dina sm its litch like a butch woman (does ellie seem butch? okay for the sake of this argument/trope she is rn) w her femme gf BAHAHA

E: "You don't have to go. You can stay here." D: "Fuck you." E: "No, I'm not saying... It's different now." D: "Yes, it is." E: "Will you please just think about it?" D: *Taking Ellie's hand and intertwining their fingers* "Together."

UGHH I GET WHERE ELLIE'S COMING FROM COS OBV everyone has that sense of protectiveness when it comes to a pregnant woman like obv theyre carrying a child, Dina is carrying their child that Ellie obv wants to keep safe, she wants to take care of them both so i get it

but also im guessing Dina isn't too far along seeing as she just found out recently? uh idk if this is right cos tbf she doesnt look pregnant (what a stupid thing to say guys dont ever tell a woman that they look/do not look pregnant) so i wanna guess maybe uh a few weeks at most??

And Dina is the only one who wanted to go w Ellie, like omg Dina litch made all the plans for them to actually get out of Wyoming in the first place so obv she'd be pissed if she feels like Ellie's pushing her to the sidelines now

okay enough ranting that was my thoughts abt S4!!

i absolutely adore them i hope everything is fine for them

theres only 3 more eps so im praying nothing happens omg omg

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

okay fuck i'm doing this again aren't i

so i i've already written stuff here in the past and like. the one thing that struck me is how thinking about my identity just makes me cry and i'm not emotional often

and seeing the post here just bawling my eyes out i can only cry when i'm either at my fucking limit and it's loud and obnoxious and i don't want anyone to see it or when i'm just overthinking stuff at night and quietly weeping in the bed after doing so (which i'm doing right now)

i am suicidal. i hate this evil fucking world and being too self-aware about my surroundings yet never thinking about myself even as a little kid fucked me up big time. yet i still have this weird ray of hope that one day i can escape this all. that i can cry on someone's shoulder and safely discuss stuff that i want. and that someone can also ask me for things i can help with. these thoughts make it seem for me like i truly am an optimist in a way

right now there aren't many people that i feel like myself with. just one person who is miles away. maybe later i'll find more people i can actually trust. i cracked just about a year and two months ago and i felt so stupid for not realising it earlier. feels like that part of my life was on autopilot this whole time. and i still have so much to learn

so uh. thank you for your kind words earlier (i anonymously wrote a semi-long ask responding to the medical gatekeeping of hrt for trans people two or so weeks ago) and i'm still scared sending all this to a person on the internet who i don't really have any relation with

at least i calmed down a little after finishing scribbling all that

i feel all of this so much. i wish i could give you a big hug anon because i think we both need one, fuck.

i've been suicidal since.. around 2020? close to five years now. i was planning to kill myself after graduation because i saw my life going nowhere, just completely dead-ending. some of that was due to being an egg of course (cracking in 2021 helped) but it never went away. it never fucking went away and even though i'm three years past grad i still find it hard to see a future where i'm happy. but i do have hope and i have two wonderful girlfriends who might be far away but are willing to help me the best they can, and i've found a couple of local trans connections online and i hope i can meet some of them irl and find a safety net. maybe someday i'll come out of my shell enough to get a job and move out and i can finally live for myself. i really, really, really hope i can.

i've also been hyper-aware for as long as i can remember, probably since i was like 7, constant distrust of authority and being socially ostracized does that to you. once i was in high school and separated from my friends i just kinda... drifted through i guess. i was the same as you, conditioned to be self-aware at all times but never really finding time for myself because i was so busy or couldn't get away from my fucking family who i was starting to really resent. i was on survival autopilot, same as you, and im constantly kicking myself for not trying to get out of that rut sooner. i feel like a fifth of my life is just. gone. that depressive apathy takes so many opportunities away and kicks them into the gutter.

i hope we can both find some shoulders to cry on someday, i'm so fucking tired of bottling up my feelings without any outlet and anyone to help me get through shit in person. i miss my girlfriends so fucking much and the few times we've visited each other i felt more at home than anywhere else.

anon please never lose hope. i hope hearing that is more meaningful when it's from someone in the same storm as you. i am going to resolve to live as much as i can, if not for myself then for the people around me, i'm going to bite and claw and scratch until i carve footholds in the walls of this pit and i hope someday i'm able to reach a hand back to you and everyone else.

(also p.s. i dont know how the fuck i did it but within like six months of cracking i had started doing radical acceptance with my identity and i think it saved me a lot of stress)

[kozykricket]

havent been very active on tumblr, for no reason in particular. anyways, as a risk of rain fan, i must clarify my opinions on the SOTS release

i think we can all agree on "the dlc is great content"

but anyways, its clear to me that the devs are people who care and are passionate about ROR as a series and about keeping ror2 going as well. i mean, hopoo and ghor have said as much! and their community manager seems nice i really dont blame the actual DLC team, because like. its always rude to just point fingers at the people who are just doin' darn good work. point fingers at the executive decision makers i think uh, the unification of console and pc code is... well, ill miss the old codebase, but honestly? the fact they've rewritten the games code from the ground up basically... tells me that they're in it for the long-ish haul. that they dont want to just drop ror2. they want to make their own basis that they can cleanly work on and continue this game into its second life of sorts i guess its like a soft reset of development - everythings jank like early access now. but itll get better is the current ror team the best at making decisions for the game? maybe not, but i really dont think they're malicious

its funny though, because the 2 things i was worried about was "oh gearbox is totally gonna mess up the lore with weird inconsistencies and it wont feel right, and they'll add powercreep" but honestly. imma be real, knowing some stuff ghor has said about his intentions behind the lore (shoutouts to Ghor btw, hes done so much for both the lore and the... well, the creation and foundation of risk of rain 2s codebase as a whole. the more i look into ghor, the more i realize he truly is mr ror2) anyways knowing his intentions with certain things, i can say... the Anniversary Update and SOTV actually messed up lore more than SOTS has, lol. the lores well done in SOTV. the non-lore-important logs kinda suck though, they're clearly unfinished. but i think... what they lacked was Time. Time, to complete the clean unification of code ... and for general polish. so i say we give them what randy pitchfork didnt. lets give them time, aight? im not super happy with the idea of a ror2: bedrock edition future, but... i think if the right balancing tweaks are done, then things can look pretty bright. and they do seem to want to listen to the community (though i doubt randy pitchfork wants them to. heck CEOs)

and as for powercreep? lmao we got the opposite, the items are almost too underpowered.

AS for the dlc content, i think seeker is goated. really fun character to play. chef is... undercooked tbh, jank m1. still havent gotten the third survivor, though i know who it is, and seems pretty well done minus the lack of visual and audio feedback / game-feel i think the stages are fantastic, the music is as always banger, and honestly the items are like. really CLOSE to being interesting. like noxious thorn? a green item that plays with debuffs? very cool. but why is it "on taking damage" and. i dunno, instead of adding more stacks of debuffs, i'd make it spread those debuffs to more enemies! knockback fin should be turned into a void of stun grenade if you have both DLCs on, tbh. so yeah, im. cautiously optimistic for the future. dont fall for all of the doomerisms that the youtubers are trying to spread - they're doing that to apply pressure to gearbox, mostly. which is fair, but its also fearmongering kinda. and like actual devs dont seem too concerned for the games future im just hoping that everyone who has been involved with ror2... has a good future. i dont want gearbox to just cut off the ror2 team, and i hope ghor can find whatever he needs

[gold-rhine]

Oh hsr... so then why did we spend a WHOLE PATCH with aventurine and his sad tragic backstory where some of it could have been in a character quest so the main plot could be paced better 🫠 I didn't mind learning about aventurine but I was like man are they going to cram everything into 2.2? And it looks like they did. Also what do you think of the pov switching? I'm not sure how it is like necessary 🤔 idk I mean I guess you can play as boothill but not really do anything with him. Maybe some of the plotlines like with sparkle will pay off in 2.3 but that's me being optimistic. I still overall like penacony story better than luofu but hmmm the philosophical ramblings not really going anywhere and there's going to be another IPC character that'll be playable which is oh boy I have no faith in the story writing of her. And firefly was um. A character. I liked her convo with blade! But other than that she was okay. Idk are any of the playable characters other than Robin even from penacony??? I know there's Misha and Gallagher but they're well... you know not exactly with us. I wish they went the hey yeah capitalism sucks direction rather than aww poor Sunday 😔 he just needs a hug 🫂. They were so close in 2.1 with him what happened???

LITERALLY 80% of 2.1 should have been aventurine character quest. like he's fine as a character, tho im not loving how slavery used for his sad backstory, but ignored that hes now doing it to others, but like literally nothing payed off in main quest. why did i have to hear him argue with his ghosts of past and future

i dont mind POV switching as concept, i think not tying us to the MC's view can be good for storytelling, but like, when it actually contributes smth? like in sumeru heist going from different parts of the plan makes sense bc we get to see how plan unfolds. boothill and sparkle literally didnt do anything that mattered tho, so like... we got to hear boothill being hey pardner at dan heng for like 20 minutes and nothing came out of it. they need to get an editor for real....

i have no faith in how they handle IPC at all after this one tbh. can we fucking stop with woobyfied sexy slavers. is it too much to ask

firefly was. a character indeed. like tbh im not loving how they use this "elio script" to just have stellaron hunters do whatever shit is convinient for plot with no logic or inner motivation. like she had zero reason to be here, zero personal goals. like its just cheap. also did she like die?? there was dialogue with raiden where shes like we should do it bc firefly cant go back to real world without dying, so we should honor her. did they like kill her off screen???

but like yeah, 2.0-2.1 AND part of 2.2 was like "capitalism sucks", but then it just goes ACSHUALLY capitalism is just natural order, should poor\weak ppl even have right to decide for themselves???? like what even the fuck

[prettysaurusrex]

Until we meet again

Thank you for everything, these months with you have been the best and the only good ones of my entire life. You made me feel things i will never be able to experience again, even though the ending is not the best, im happy "us" existed for a while.

Im glad we took each other hand in a symbolic way after the "breakup", we guided and helped each one during this process and we could communicate in some way showing our love to each other until the end.

You are gonna always have me in some way and i will be waiting for your return even if things wont change between us or that we never get to reignite the flame and be like we used to. I really have hopes but unfortunately I have to hide them behind the opposite possibility because otherwise it will become my downfall and probably something close to depression and absolute sadness.

I will always remember and love you no matter what and i hope you remember all this forever, i really would have punched mountains to get to you and be together. There will be a time and probably soon when you have to put everything behind and hide/put away everything about me but i just hope after a while you remember me from time to time. I will never be able to stop yapping about us and wanting to tell you stuff and text you.

Thank you for liking a lot and loving this idiot. You ll always be with me in my heart and in my memory, i ll always come back to check our chats and your gift from today. Im gonna carry you on my mind and heart every day for the rest of my life but i hope there will be a time where we can be together in physical reality and i dont have to be without you forever.

Right or wrong time, it was OUR time and im happy we got to meet and share so much in such a short time. You know how to contact me in the future if you need to and if thats the case i wish you really try everything to contact me again somehow.

I have so much to tell, express and share with you and it will never stop but i said it was gonna be the last post or direct contact i will have with you, checking your tumblr will only hurt me more and more, idk if i ll stop checking ( i will check haha to know how u doing) but if im the target of any of your posts, i hope it is very obvious and i ll know it is for me but well im being too optimistic, im such a loser and a romantic haha, i ll probably wont even know if u even have read this...

I wish i had more time to make a very long and nice final text expressing everyhting but that would collapse the server haha 😉 i literally could be texting until i pass out even if it is not very meaningful stuff. Im gonna study your notebook gift these days during lunch break, i read everything but i was crying so much that i couldnt save it in my mind.

You know im not actually leaving, this is not what we want, but i must stay away for your own good, it is a very hard act of love but we must do it, i will be waiting for you.

Im very sorry we couldnt go to the Moon together, I hope he takes you even further than that, because you deserve it.

Until we meet again my master, forever yours.

I love you

Bro 🦕✨❤️☝🏻💀🐢🦆🐁🪤🫶🏻😭🫴🏻

[labyrinthe-exe]

laby_log 0.2

oh wow... has it already been like idk... two weeks? it's kind of insane to think about... originally i wanted to do it every week, but a lot of stuff has happened since my last log..

but i released the demo! wip! you can find it here!

anyway... now to actually get into my mental state and where i was at progress wise during the last two weeks

so! i left off in an optimistic spirit, while i was mentally in a downpour and feeling waves of hppelessness.... i also was positive of the future! i had to do some cuts in terms of cutting off legs but....

as soon as i finished that devlog, i ended up just... really really going through it mentally...

i was both tired, fatigued, and like all over the place even more. i had started to write but i was insecure about my story and the pacing and if i was even doing a good job. i was worried about if the story i was telling would even be interesting or if the designs were hot enough, attractive enough... i was wondering if i was doing justice to characterization, too?

that also was the fact i just felt like giving up completely LMFAO

i was powering through, and i wasn't progressing in ways that i want to... hell what can i show for it other than writing? that you can see in the game!

but anyway, i started working on the key art and this is where i spiraled again LOL wow... me and spiraling... is it professional to express all this? i dont know...

and this is where i was unraveling... you see i started out mapping stuff out ( i dont have the screenshots i dont think of the part before i fixed stuff but like its okay these are some i sent to my friends LOL ) but the third pic is where i hated it... i had to go to sleep cause i just wanted to cry

i felt like i was struggling with both trying to improve my art, stay consistent, but also develop an art style all at once in the same frame and that sort of progression... is hard? scary... terrifying... it made my heart totally break

but! i perservered!

and WHAM! i started getting somewhere with the help of amazing community of friends who i just spammed LMFAO like "pls i need it to look like clouds...." and also just in general to make sure i was on the right track with vibes...

i finally felt a little satisfied though it still didnt match the other cains i drew/other love interests but eh... honestly consistency is a hurdle i will have to learn how to get over eventually, i was looking at this game development process as not a fun experience but as a job and that was really fucking with my creative process

a lot.

AND I SWEAR I WAS COOKING THOUGH! once i was getting into a roll, but my progress still felt abysmal with all the things i wanted to achieve: good writing, good story, attractive characters..

i felt i was lagging behind my peers, i felt like i was making a fool of myself. who am i even trying to make games yanno? i'm just a sort of like... artist who struggles to even draw everyday. which doesn't mean im impassionate... i think i am passionate...

it's just a battle...

that and irl i have to take care of the household in terms of chores and the like, i only have so much mental bandwidth... it was hard to socialize some days cause i just felt like i was disappointment... would i even be able to finish in time?

well from the beginning of this log, it's clear i did finish something! aided w/ the power of friendship and eternal shounen determination LOL yes. call me naruto ( don't but funfact in elementary my friends called me ichigo kurosaki )

once again, i had to take an art break, here's my art from 2022 ( the subview ) versus 2025! i'm so happy with my progres even if the sketch i made was kinda shitty too LMFAO i do have plans for a project featuring this character, a little devil ( he'll be in a game with anathema... i'll take about anathema in another post one day, my precious baby )

either way, i found it easy to compare everyones progress to mine... like wow other people are able to be so organized and cool and i struggle with it... even checking off lists, it's hard for me? i felt all over the place, sinking into a pit that i created myself and that i was just showcasing the worst parts of me...

even though thats not true.

honestly i was incredibly worried people wouldn't like cain, the mc, he's like so pivotal to the story it'd be kind of hard to rework the entire story because cain is like... pivotal, i'd just have to write a completely different story...

but the show must go on, i kept making things.

honestly, in real life was a strong part of why i felt kinda crappy. even online, being busy so much and not socializing w/ key people that i usually socialize with was such a damper on my mood. i missed my friends. i wonder if they felt uncared for while i was busy ( which isn't true, but my brain is weird ) WOW AM I OVERSHARING? idk... i feel that its important to showcase that my design process includes being all over the place...

i didn't work every day. i tried to, but i didn't.

while my friends were trucking along on gui, i was frozen in a sense of wondering if i should even continue development or quit while i'm ahead and ghost everyone for being a disappointment.

the deadine was nearing and i still hadn't even written the kiss. the gui wasn't done either which didn't worry me as much as being worried that i would disappoint everyone i told "i'm making a game!" what would i look like then... if i didnt make it? a gameless loser?

i know right. what the heck?

it makes no sense.

i ended up writing the kiss yesterday actually, i was experiencing writer's block cause i was so insecure about my story.

but woo boi. the story got put out the gui got done and my stress... didnt dissipate. either way, i think the last two weeks of the jam was a tough time? i did learn a lot. like what i needed to prioritize, how to better prioritize for my workflow.

i have to go like gui - sprites - writing - editing - backgrounds - writing again... i think? it feels a little weird but i think that'll work for me? i can still fix that though.

ANOTHER THING! i couldnt actually sleep last night. i was nervous how my story would be recieved LMFO isn't that normal i think...

but i released the game!

and there was typos.. which to be fair, i'm not good at cross-editing.. i was trying to go line by line after a friend proofread the first part for me and then i... kept missing stuff- don't be like me, just copy paste all the edits and reformat it. or just write in renpy speak in the first time...

but overall i think i learned a lot from swak.

am i still going to be ambitious?

hell the fuck yes.

but will i know how to better work around my high and low mental peaks? also yes. i think i need to remind myself every so often why i'm doing this... well i love writing, i love art, i love telling stories... i like to share my perspective on things, my characters perspectives, and just ships too in general I LOVE SHIPS! SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

but yeah...

does any of this make sense? i don't know... maybe i overshared, maybe i didn't. but the demo is done. it's still a giant wip, but i feel better about the future of it. the extended demo is coming and i will keep on trucking on. cause that's all i can do.

anwho... laby logging out <3

[raveneira]

Me- maybe next chapter it will make more sense

Also me- 🤡

anyway thanks! i like reading your posts and appreciate your pov. Any idea as to what could be next?

Pfffft nothing wrong with being optimistic, just make sure to always prepare yourself for the worst as well, that way even if the worst happens it wont hurt as much lol

And no, thank you, Im happy you enjoy reading my posts 🙈

As for what I think could be next...well I dont have one singular idea, but I have a few hunches

Boruto is gonna gonna get bodied by Jura, because as KK said, he's seen multiple futures and all of them end with Boruto being killed by Jura if he went there

We know Boruto isnt going to die, but he, by KKs own words, can NOT survive against Jura, he is destined to die in every future, so we know this for sure at least that Boruto is not winning this fight.

Kawaki's limiters being brought up was probably for this moment, Boruto couldnt restrain himself and went there against KKs warnings, so now hes going to get dominated by Jura, and since Boruto cant die and none of team 7 can help him against Jura since they dont stand a chance either, the only logical outcome is that Kawaki will have gotten his limiters off and go there to save them.

Sarada will probably sleep through this entire ordeal until its over, to keep consistent with her constantly being left out of all the major details [Kawaki sealing away Naruto and Hinata, Mitsuki and Shikamaru being on Borutos side, Ada working together with KK and Boruto, Hidari being her fathers clone etc] so Mitsuki and Konohamaru will witness and learn everything but Sarada wont, and majority of it they wont tell her, at most they'll tell her that Kawaki saved Boruto and called a temporary truce to team up against the Shinju, everything else that ensues they'll keep to themselves.

I hope not because theres been way too many fake out deaths, but its possible Yodo isnt dead, because Ikemoto cant commit to killing anybody

if Yodo is dead it would be interesting to see Shinki's reaction to it since it was HIS clone and HIS power that killed her, and we also got this flashback of him saying how he wants to protect his father and the village and sacrificed himself to protect his dad and give Yodo and Araya a chance to escape

I also think he'd probably feel alot of guilt about it, not just cuz it was his power that he wanted to use to protect the ppl he cared about that did it, but also because of what Araya said, that he should pay Yodo some attention too [implying he wasnt] so thats probably gonna weigh on him alot, that he should've listened to Araya and treasured his time with Yodo more.

What makes it sadder is what Yodo said shortly before dying

To her Shinki was someone she wanted to stand by even if the rest of the world hated him, which could imply Shinki wasnt as accepted by the village as we might think, which would explain Yodo's overprotectiveness and attachment to him.

So it will really be interesting if Yodo dies and Shinki has to live with the guilt of losing someone who cherished him so much, his friend, someone he wanted to protect, died to his own power.

But of course something that actually delves into the characters emotions and raises the stakes is too much for Ikemoto so we're probably gonna get none of that.

I feel bad for Araya tbh, the whole time all he did was worry about her and even saved her when she got bit, which caused him to lose his only counter to Ryu, and the last words she had said to him was this

So yea, really sucks for Araya, especially since even after all that hes still really devoted to her

Anyway movin on

6 Sarada and Sumire's convo after this could go one of 3 ways...I plan on making a theory post delving more into this topic but for now I'll just give you the possible scenarios

Sarada could confess to Sumire that she does in fact like Boruto and has been holding back these feelings this whole time and she apologizes for lying to her, which will cause alot of awkward tension because while Sumire was honest and open to Sarada about her feelings out of respect for her as a friend not wanting to go behind her back, Sarada essentially lied to her face for 3 years, which is a valid reason for there to be tension between the two.

Basically a worse written version of this.

Sakura couldnt wait to tell Ino [and the others] who she liked, but Ino kept her feelings to herself, which Sakura eventually found out on her own and thats when their friendship ended

I can see Ikemoto possibly going for a half assed version of that, Sumire felt comfortable telling Sarada how she felt, but also didnt wanna just step on her toes if she happened to also have feelings for Boruto, so Sumire did the good friend thing and ASKED how she felt about him before telling her how she felt and Sarada said point blank that no she doesnt like him, so Sumire felt at ease to tell her she DID like Boruto since things wouldnt be awkward now right? Sarada doesnt have feelings for him, so Sumire excitedly declaring she does like him should be no problem.

After all, Sarada said other girls liking Boruto doesnt bother her.

So thats scenario one, Sarada admits she likes Boruto and Sumire feels betrayed because yea, kind of messed up, not that its a problem for Sarada to like Boruto just cuz Sumire does, the problem is Sumire was honest with her BECAUSE she wanted to be respectful of Sarada, if Sarada has said she liked Boruto back then, Sumire wouldnt have felt bad about it cuz why would she? she was honest with her, she'd just admit she likes Boruto too and they'd just pursue him together.

The ugliness comes from Sarada keeping this from Sumire for 3 years, then rubbing it in her face under the guise of just her missing/being close with her childhood friend, when all along she WAS inlove with him too and was basically makin moves on him behind her back [cuz Sumire just thought it was platonic when it wasnt] and just completely disregarded Sumire and her feelings for him, she didnt even acknowledge Sumire HAD them, she told her how she felt and Sarada never once thought about it since, only her own feelings.

So yea, Ikemoto might do a worse version of what happened between Sakura and Ino, one being open and honest with who they thought was their friend, and the other lying to them and eventually being found out and feel betrayed, putting a strain on their friendship.

Sumire will feel betrayed by Sarada and rightfully so, lying to her face THIS LONG when Sumires been open and honest with her this whole time, its totally valid for her to feel some type of way about it and distance herself.

The second scenario, Sarada actually doesnt like Boruto and apologizes to Sumire for her lack of consideration and vows to be more considerate and supportive of her feelings from now on

The third scenario is Sarada still doesnt address if her feelings are or arent romantic, but she apologizes to Sumire regardless and promises to be more considerate from now on and the two reconcile

Those are the 3 possible outcomes

7 Sumire might go through her own mini arc and have her own development from this, to stop being so passive and start being more proactive, to not just feel hurt by Sarada making moves, but to start making her own moves.

Obviously not the same moves as Sarada since those are reckless and careless, but ya know smart moves, or moves that show her courage and just how far shes willing to go for him etc.

If the lesson Sarada learned from this arc is to stop holding back her feelings, then the lesson Sumire should learn from it is to stop being overly considerate of others, because its great that she cares about and respects other ppls feelings, but sometimes you can be considerate to a fault which Sumire is.

Im not saying she needs to stop caring entirely, but she needs to learn the opposite lesson from Sarada, whereas Sarada needs to learn to be LESS selfish, Sumire needs to learn to be MORE selfish.

She's too selfless, too understanding, too considerate of others who arent considerate of her, she holds back her feelings not because she thinks their weakness but because she doesnt wanna upset other ppl, she doesnt wanna make things awkward, so she bites her tongue, keeps her true thoughts and feelings inside which is a bad thing.

So its possible, maybe, that Sumire will learn a lesson from this as well, which is hopefully to start being more selfish, its ok to love Boruto and be jealous of someone makin moves on him [if Sarada likes him]

Its ok to say what shes feeling whether the person likes it or not, its ok for her to have an opinion of how to address the Boruto situation and not just constantly following Sarada's reckless lead, its ok for her to be bothered by Sarada still calling her class rep despite all they've been through, its OK for Sumire to be selfish and allow herself to feel how she feels without shame, without guilt, and without remorse.

As for Kawaki getting his limiters off...I really dont know where the story is headed once that happens, will it make him stronger than Jura? if so then whose gonna take his place to have Boruto and Kawaki still on defense? we know its not Code, not without a massive power up atleast. And Daemon, will Kawaki be stronger than him? if so then that means he can finally take out those two threats to Naruto, Ada and Daemon.

Its hard to tell really, so until I know Kawaki's EXACT power scaling unlimited I cant make any predictions.

Anyway, thats all I can think of to potentially happen thus far.

Oh, some might be wondering about Sarada's EMS, some ppl think shes gonna get Hidari's Rinnegan but the whole reason Sasuke only got one is because Kishimoto thought he would look too alien with two, so Sarada getting both is slim for the same reasons.

Her only possibility for a EMS is the Shin clones, their all still alive with MS of their own at the orphanage, other than that theres a very slim possibility somebody nabbed the sharingans Obito had at his hideout, which I can only assume Orochimaru has the motive and intel to of gone and stole, so that might be a good chance for Sarada to have more of a connection with Orochimaru.

But yea, thats all I got for now, sorry if its a bit of a long read 😅 I didnt mean for it to be

[cookiecomics]

(warning from future me: this is very long, soz)

heyy!! i'm about to start another reread of atott but although im trying to get better at this, im bad at leaving comments (i get too invested in the action & dont mark down my thoughts... so when i get to the comment part i don't remember all or anything i wanted to talk abt + i'm ruminating on what just happened. that's true for the updates i've been following and doubly so for binge-reading sessions) so i just wanted to say some things directly to you, right now, before i forget - i adore the colosseum to this day. i was invested from moment one and the way you described everything was so impactful. to this day i also remember the way ren was panicked & aiming to return home despite his concussion, it felt very visceral and real. also the entirety heresy ring, akechi finding out he was in the fraud ring (this cracked me up iirc. that boy read you akechi), the toy grandma wanted to give ren & akechi managed to get to him (and ren/arsene crying bc of it....), the river, the hanged man game.... gods, you captivated me so much even within those first chapters.

another moment that is very present in my memory is the whole section where ren is in shido's palace, hiding from akechi w/o knowing it's him, finding out he was the "birdman" and then the aftermath, akechi's high fever, the way ren did his best to take care of him, how he told him he'd do the hit on the principal for him. it was all so good!! like i found ur fics from the accomplice tag iirc so i wasn't surprised when it happened, but it was all so exciting still! my memory sucks so i can't even paraphrase what ren told akechi before leaving to do it, but i do remember how akechi was still convinced (and kinda hoped) ren wouldn't actually get involved & he'd just end up dead. then ren came back, with new glasses to boot! lol

ohh also that moment where ren crossdressed and akechi was definitely attracted but ofc he can't Say It so he just critiques his makeup capabilities instead....... i was like. of course. of couse you would.

and i found atott shortly after finding out i'm arospec despite being very interested in making fictional characters kiss & romantic scenes in general, so it was very interesting to read akechi believe he was aromantic & have to deal with Actually Having Romantic Feelings Fuck This lmaoooo tho tbf i'd actually react similarly if i found out i was demisexual instead of completely ace like i think i am, so i also identified with it in that sense, since i've know about that part of my identity much longer than being arospec lol

ah. this is very long but i have more i want to say... so im gonna keep talking lol. ren realizing he was cluster-b helped me realize & come to terms with my low empathy. i remember when first reading akechi suggest ren get himself checked for sociopathy i was a bit skeptical bc i worried it'd be just edgy stuff, but i'd been trusting your writing & decisions so i decided to be optimistic & i rlly liked how you handled it, and, again, it helped me come to terms with the parts of me that also wouldn't be seen favourably by some of these ppl who insist they're mental health advocates lol

also, i rlly like akesumi so when sumi realized he was munin i was giddy. her own smile about it made me happy too.... oh this makes me remember the scene of futaba finding out ren is her online friend too gods such good scenes!!!! and finding the palace keywords. which made me remember the bad ending chapter in maruki's reality which i only managed to read on my 3rd read of the fic & then was immediately invested into too.....

anyway, what i want to say is, thank you so much for writing atott. it is almost constantly running through the like, background of my thoughts, and the story has been very important & dear to me. i hope you know it is genuinely engraved within me at this point. i love it so much. ♡

GOSH what a beautiful thing to come back to ;3; thank you so so much for your kind words and for trusting me as well dsfkjhsdfjk as someone who is cluster b AND on the a-spec merrygoround, I'm glad my handling of the topics have been great for you ;3; thank you for telling me all that you love about the fic ;3; hoping to get an update soon for Goro's birthday <3

Again, any and all love for Ren's palace makes me giddy since it is by far the aspect of the fic that took the longest to plan ;3; and there's no such thing as "too long" comments or asks for me by the way please know this is very sweet to read, i hope you have a great day! and look forward to people having a hashtagbadtime next chapter sdkjfhjkf

[theoldgvard]

after s2 rewatch im fully over coffee theory i dont mind if i turn out wrong but anyway

aziraphale originally doesn’t want to go back bc of course he doesn’t heaven is corrupt and everything he loves is on earth

but then he finds out he can make the rules and can bring crowley and that angelic part of him knows he can’t turn his back on a chance to do good on that scale. sure it’ll probably turn out that heaven’s issues are so institutionalised that it can’t be changed just by shaking up the leadership, but ever the slightly naive optimist aziraphale doesn’t believe this.

he has faith in himself, and he has faith in crowley and what they can achieve together. he has also witnessed thousands of years of crowley covertly doing good because it’s in his nature, but he isn’t supposed to actually do it. aziraphale sees an out for crowley, a way he can do the good he’s always been doing without having to pretend. he can be nice.

as aziraphale leaves the metatron he looks uncertain but by the time he’s in front of crowley he’s worked himself up and i think this is because he is sad about the bookshop and leaving earth and the way things are changing. but the thing that matters is crowley. (he was willing to give away books to make sure the ball happened and i would bet money on his dance with crowley also being a big part of his plan in that regards) he gets to keep the one thing most important to him, whilst doing the good he has always fiercely cared about doing. he’s willing to sacrifice everything in order to do good, which just goes to show his strength and belief in himself.

i don’t believe if he was influenced so strongly he would care so strongly. he wouldn’t beg crowley to come with him, wouldn’t insist this was the right thing to do, wouldn’t harden his resolve enough to bite back an ‘i l-’ to be replaced with an ‘i forgive you’. this is personal, it hurts, it is a sacrifice he makes for the sake of light. truth. goodness. he’s an angel. maybe the best angel.

it’s part religious trauma/naivety, part faith in himself (that has of course been built up in part by crowley), part want for crowley’s undeserved punishment to be undone and for him to be properly ‘free’. aziraphale wants to put into motion the ‘shades of grey’ mentality crowley has taught him. he wants to better a broken system and he isn’t willing to let it go without a fight because a) it’s been there his entire existence but also b) he isn’t the giving up kind. he helps gabriel even after everything. why would he stop there? his goodness knows no bounds.

‘come with me’ he knows he can’t turn his back on things now. he knows he’s got to do it no matter the personal cost. which is why he’s desperate for crowley to come around. because this is going to happen with or without crowley, and just like with helping gabriel, he’d always rather do it with crowley at his side.

i think it makes perfect sense for his development. not only by showing he still has trauma to work through regarding heaven, but by also showing the effect crowley has had on him working in tandem with who he’s always been. crowley has shown him how nuanced morality is, how heaven isn’t fair, and he sees this. and because he’s aziraphale, and he’s ‘far too pure of heart’, he’s going to try to implement change instead of getting out. he didn’t run from armageddon. he didn’t run from helping gabriel. it’s not like him to turn away from this ‘chance’.

i think his expression in the lift is him trying to put aside his pain and look ahead at his imagined future and the difference he can make. because without crowley he is still him. he is still an angel who wants to do good. this season kind of showed us how crowley is sort of afloat, and his only real purpose seems to be in regards to aziraphale but aziraphale threw himself straight into the gabriel mystery, has an active life amongst the street and its inhabitants. hes never seemed as untethered as crowley.

aziraphale is going to realise and work through some things about himself in season 3. crowley needs to find himself. and when they come back together it can be in a way that suits them both, where they can be themselves but also together, crowley isn’t a ‘second in command’, they are equals and they are two individuals who are also in love.

it all, painfully, makes some sort of sense.

[51316120825getty]

how do u feel about the internet as a whole

Hmmm big big big question

I think its probably one of the most amazing things ever invented but also like… one of the worst things in human history LOL but im mostly an optimist and i just love the internet sooooo much (SMS* too much) idk that’s all kinda basic but it’s really just like.. so big like the internet is such a big deal i feel like we take it for granted the fact we have so much information at our fingertips and we can communicate pretty easily with people from all over the world like mindblowing . !! Can be so overwhelming tho being exposed to so much information and so many people and so much information about people … and obviously there are more sinister things about the internet that are bad LOL

As for me personally like i feel like i would probably be a dull(er) person without it tho and i think for most ppl thats true it’s not that like being chronically online is cool or something bcus its … not its kinda lame tbh but like the internet can just open you up to so much interesting stuff! I can’t decide if i’d be more or less miserable without it. Probably more i’d be very confused and even lonelier than i am now because i’d feel probably very distant from myself. But i don’t know because those hypothetical type of things alwaysss stress me out bcus of all that like time travel logic shit like if the internet didnt exist then id be a COMPLETELY different person bcus of so many factors like even my dna would probably be different in some way idk . But assuming id still have the same soul and stuff (eyeroll emoji) yeah id probably be miserable asffff.. like im still ugh but id be more like ughhhh all caps lots of hs. I don’t know but also in general yeah its a mixed bag…. but i think mostly a positive thing. Idk. It’s always growing and changing too and i think it’s current state is sort of … sad like really deeply sad and doesn’t look like things are getting any better with ai and stuff .. i dont hate ai but its like. Crazy idk i guess change and “progress” is always going to be crazy & scary and i can only speak for the present and not the future but yeah idk . maybe my children will be totally chill with it and see all its negatives but still tolerate it or even love it like the way i feel about the internet… question mark. Idk anyways back to me I’ve been in sooooo many different corners of the internet through the years (and i get pretty deep into all the things i like LOL) and i think by far my favorite part of the internet is and always will be tumblr like i just love it here… i’ve always loved it ❤️😍 Love you guysss shoutout to all ny tumblrinas

*some might say

[academicsurvivorscomicproject]

Academic Survivors (ask blog :))

(hello tumblr! this is a little passion project of mine if you will , It's a comic im planning on making in the future when i improve in digital art (and when im less busy) but for now so i would appreciate if you send some asks along my merry way :D most asks will probably be answered in traditional art so i hope you dont mind that!)

Watch and hopefully ask as four idiots along with their group of survivors manage to survive an apocalypse (with something more sinister hidden beneath the surface) Main Characters : Debbie Hak-geon (She/Her) Jady Faith (She/Her) Dae-Eun (He/Him) Hanaul (She/Her) Debbie : the stoic , sarcastic , stone-faced one of the bunch! (with a secret soft side but dont tell anyone) , she has a little pet tabby cat she adopted named "World Destroyer" , and it is very evil mind you . a daughter of an Ex-yakuza leader turned good and an ex-special forces member , does two right equal one wrong? well its time to find out Jady Faith : the smartest one of her peers (which isn't saying much) a bubbly and optimistic christian with a personality so bright it might actually blind you! but dont be fooled by her little miss perfect cover , she can be VERY surprisingly violent when she needs to (and surprisingly good at it too) . Hallelujah! Dae-Eun : a class monitor , the responsible one of the group , the only one with self preservation , the glue of the gang! and to be honest , the only reason any of them are still alive . a natural born leader with the personality to match it , strict , intimidating , and ran out of fucks to give a long time ago! Hanaul : im in love with an emoo gorlll!!! the dark and mysteriouss one of her group (or at least she tries to be) , an avid axe wielder in the apocalypse (she probably prepared for this moment for her entire life) a rebellious version of a pompous rich kids , with her mother being a CEO of a famous clothing brand and her father being a head financial leader of a popular phone industry . with her parents being away with meeting most of the time , while a butler (with a strange similarity to Alfred) deals with her batman-levels of brooding (he needs to get paid more)

(yes i know its REALLY bad but i tried </3) there are two types of asks you can send Pre apocalypse (before the zombies n stuff happen , aka normal teenage school stuff Post apocalypse (after zombie stuffs happen) and you will HAVE to specify if you want to ask the pre apocalypse gang or i will automatically assume you meant to ask the post apocalypse gang , for example : "Pre apocalypse gang : what is your favourite animal?" enjoyy :DD

[feelo-fick]

Love the positive outlook towards the future! I’m also pretty optimistic for fall :3

YEAAHH!!! its gonna be great!! actually looking forward to school because i feel like ive got a good study plan and im getting better at making myself do things that have to be done even though i dont want to do them. also my dormmates are 90% my friends and and past classmates so i dont have to worry too much about needing to adjust to new people!

ive also got a lot of art plans and writing plans and... AHHH its gonna be so so cool!! im very optimistic about august for once in my life (its always been my least favourite month of the year) and i know im gonna spend it well [3!!!!

[somniativesect]

introduction:

hello...! we're the somniative sect, a pluralpunk chimeric traumaendo + creagenic system. we're 23 irl, and diagnosed schizoaffective. we have dissociative symptoms that we're discussing currently with a therapist and psych soon in case they're diagnosable since they do cause us struggles, but overall we believe that plurality can be a wonderful experiece of internal teamwork and partnership, and we accept systems of all types + dislike harassment.

our main poster is reva (they/it), a facet of sammie (she/he) who is a frontstuck median with a few other facets who we'll be doing intros for too.

here we'll generally be posting about ourselves in a journal-y manner, posting about system and alterhuman stuff, and maybe some fandom content thrown in.

content warnings + discourse opinions:

we dont tend to tag for triggers so be warned that there is a blanket content warning on this blog for possible discussion of irl trauma of multiple types (incl. sexual assault/rape, of which we r a survivor of multiple instances), irl homelessness (also a survivor of this), hard drug recovery (we r sober now) as well as potential discussion of hard kinks like consensual nonconsent. due to the amount of subjects such as these, as well as general personal preferences, we prefer that minors do not engage with us.

we believe that as long as you're not actively trying to &/or actually causing harm to ppl then you're fine to do as you please. we are profiction/proship, pro-endo, anti-harassment, anti-terf, anti-sysmed, and pro-para + anti-contact for harmful paras.

it is your choice whether you follow us or not, so if we dont want you interacting with us we will simply block you. thanks for understanding..!!

read more about us below:

members of the somniative sect:

[ median subsystem ] sammie 🐶🔎 (she/he): I've got a wonderful irl partner system named Maxine (he/she) and I love him with my whooole heart. Other than that, I mostly spend my time studying psychology, the occult, and religion. I'm an energy worker, and agnostic-ish.

[ facet ] reva 💜💤 (they/it): hiii...im pretty fun i think. i like to listen 2 lofi, read a lot, nd i'm always very sleepy eheh

[ facet ] honey 🌞🍯 (she/they): hello. i'm the one who tend to push us towards healing and growing here, tending towards introspective hobbies such as journaling and engaging in productive dialogues within our system or with our partner. i always try to be compassionate and a good listener.

[ facet ] gears ⚙️⛓️ (they/she): gatekeeper mechanism who decides who gets to front or if any new system members can be formed. slowwwwly learning how to relax about that, heh.

[ headmate ] nephrys 🦄💙 (she/her): hehehehe i fINALLY have a place to post nowww. i'm nephrys!!! i'm like if a unicorn was a loli :] i like nature and cuddling!!!

[ fictive ] dirk 🧡⚔️ (he/him): Welp. Giving this a shot. I don't usually like announcing when I'm fronting. I do a lot in the background of the system here, such as holding negative/childhood emotions, being the voice of reason, and helping everyone else express themselves in a way that is most suitable to them.

[ tulpa ] murphy 💗📞 (she/they): hi.........i like reading problematic stuff, i'm a lil shy about it though eheh. i'm slowly learning my way around life, but i'm pretty optimistic !

[ fictive ] techie 🐷🗡️ (he/they)

our main blog is @quoiperson and follows/likes will come from there!!

fandoms that we like:

homestuck (incl. hs^2, pesterquest & hiveswap friendsim)

hazbin hotel & helluva boss

inside out & inside out 2

ib

the magnus archives

dsmp

the ghost & molly mcgee

gravity falls

murdered: soul suspect

ace attorney

omori

sam & max: freelance police

steven universe & future

undertale

we know the devil

[r-ene]

Pros and Cons of being an Overloaded Student in Respiratory Therapy

during my 3rd year, where majority of the subjects are major subjects such as critical care management, airway management, mechanical ventilation and neonatal respiratory care, i took up more units than prescribed by the university due to being an irregular as a transferee (2nd year). and so i had 11 subjects with 31 to 33 units with 6 days a week of classes. i was leaning on writing how i survived it but rather i think "10 pros and cons" would be a bit better for those considering to undergo this kind of process.

this is from my own experiences tho, so... yk

Pros

you get better at time management. you drown, otherwise.

less procrastination. like #1, you drown if you do.

you get better at juggling loads of school work

you get better at putting boundaries - your body knows when it's time to study, time for family and God, time for rest (although you still need to get reminded), time to socialize

your focus becomes... great (most times)

you get disciplined.

you appreciate your early mornings, rest days, people and God (should you ever be a believer). i personally love my early mornings where i spend about 10 mins on average reading the Bible before classes, it helps me cope with all the stress and made me more optimistic. i also observed things are better (ex. grades are higher in quizzes) when i don't forget to communicate with God before starting my day

its a good practice. as a future healthcare worker, even for my internship there would be schedules of 12-16 hours aside from the regular 8 hour shift scheduled about 5 days a week, with saturdays being lecture or research days, it's a good help.

you are able to find ways how to study more effectively. i personally figured out what study style/s are best for me and when i should utilize study style A (standard) and study style B (for exams, quizzes) and so on.

you learn to compete only with yourself. most times we compare our progress and grades with others when actually, we do best when we only look at ourselves and compete with ourselves yesterday and move forward with it because you understand that you are a unique case and individual and so are others.

Cons

quick burnout = it takes a toll on your health especially when exams come where all classes would require a written one (practical exams such as in skills lab, performing airway suctioning or arterial blood gas were a blessing to me)

major subjects = major requirements. sometimes you forget that your minors need some attention too at times

i only had 1 day of rest (sundays). i love going on worship services but sometimes you just want to rest and sleep the whole day ??

you get very, very anxious and jittery when you dont have anything to do.

sleep gets put off when there are tons to do despite being good in organization and time management. i once went 38 hours without sleep on an exam week, i think it was finals ?

...it was very difficult to study for exams held on the last day, especially during finals. i loved pulmonary disease management and hemodynamics but i was just so exhausted i picked rest over studying otherwise my vertigo might act up

when bombarded with tasks (ex. case study + other major presentations or tasks all together), it's difficult not to spiral. therefore, i suggest to take a walk, especially if you have a baby doggo

if you live with your family, its a bit difficult when they fail to understand you have tons to do on a daily + need some rest. i live with my family of 6 members and sometimes we get into an argument with how im unable to help around especially while im resting after class

it is very difficult to schedule dates with friends or siblings or s/o (i don't have a significant other so that's one less thing to worry about, haha). oftentimes when my older sister asks me to accompany her to the mall for a date or just as company, i spend most of the time in coffee bean, studying. sometimes i rush there when there's an online quiz scheduled in the middle of the day even without lectures.

you gotta sacrifice a lot of things. as you can see above: you sacrifice good health, time with loved ones and yourself, binge watching or gaming (me personally i set a rule if im not on a semestral break i dont play games), good sleep, difficult to commit to other things (uni organizations or work, etc) and etc etc

this being said, i don't discourage or encourage anyone to become an overloaded student as it depends on your unique situation. with mine, my faculty wanted me to supposedly join my batchmates for this year's internship but i was still left behind because there were no offerings for the subjects i needed to complete everything during the summer term and so... yeah, hahaha

other than that, id say i did very, very well both semesters !! not to boast, but it was something i worked hard on and sometimes you just gotta be proud of yourself :)