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sondepoch · 5 years ago

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Chapter 6

Written in the Stars (Lucifer x Angel!Reader)

Four thousand years is a long time. In the absence of your most cherished friend, it feels even longer. But when a certain student exchange program in the Devildom reunites you and Lucifer, things aren't the same. Because four thousand years of separation is a long time. And the love you once felt for Lucifer has changed into something different—something forbidden. But that might not even be your biggest problem, because with each passing day, your holy wings are turning blacker and blacker.

MASTERLIST

You're in your element.

All of you, really.

The demons love Solomon—well, "love." Most of them still avoid him, never really having taken the effort to look past the shadiness of his outward personality, but the few demons that have stuck around have been added to his collection of pacts, and they have iron-tight bonds with the sorcerer. You've never seen him so pleased.

And then there's Simeon: probably one of the most goodhearted angels even in the Celestial Realm, so blissfully kind that even the demons have grown used to him and his little antics. Of course, it absolutely helps that the angel is nowhere near as innocent as anyone expected, constantly keeping the demons on their toes, but they seem to consider that thrill an added bonus to his company.

Luke...well, Luke might be the one having the hardest time, if you're perfectly honest. He still gets teased by the lower demons for his youthful appearance, but once they grew to learn that he was more bark than bite, even they began to relax with the insults. By now, the angel boy is quite happy, with Beel readily available to taste whatever treats he produces, and Barbatos always equipped with a new "recipe he doesn't have time to make but would like to see made."

And of course, there's you.

Well, you always knew that R.A.D. would be a blast. Even if the lower demons hadn't grown to love you for your bubbly nature (a fresh change, they say), you had the entire House of Lamentation to keep you entertained. And not to mention the fact that you and Lucifer grew involved at the beginning of the year—that thought alone still sends a flutter of butterflies to your stomach.

But you can't think of Lucifer like that right now.

No, Lucifer is the enemy.

"MC, catch!" Luke exclaims, tossing two water balloons your way, which you somehow manage to grab without popping them on contact. "Everybody ready?"

You glance around at your teammates: the nine demons remaining alongside you, Simeon, Solomon, and Luke. Everybody has two water balloons in their hands, and your faces are all rock hard with the memory of your comrades who have fallen at the hands of the enemy team.

A firm frown fixes its way onto your face when you recall how Belphie and Beel had cornered you from the treetops earlier, and had almost released an entire bucket full of liquid onto your shoulders before you bribed your way out with promises of paying for dinner next time the three of you go to Ristorante Six.

"Alright, split into teams!" A demon shouts, and then you're at Solomon's side. The mage enchanted your body earlier with a weightlessness spell that makes it even easier to sprint around and evade balloons, and you're not about to leave his side after he already helped you out once. "And go!"

Wordlessly, you and the mage begin sprinting along the treeline, both of you harnessing the full strength of Solomon's enchantment to jump and land in the treetops, where you have the best view of what's going on below.

"What if someone else is in the trees?" You ask, making a long leap from one tree branch to the next. Your figure peaks out over the treeline every so often, but the giant oaks are so high up that you doubt anyone will see.

"Shouldn't be a problem. Demons don't like using spells to boost their bodies, and Diavolo said that shifting out of human forms will lead to an instant game-over for that person."

You nod, continuing the journey forward in silence.

The other demons may be taking this lightly, but for you (and the rest of your dormmates in Purgatory Hall), this is your only shot—and you all plan to win.

You briefly recall the assembly this morning from when Levi took the mic. At the time, you'd been shocked that the shut-in otaku was willingly giving a speech in front of the entire student body, but you quickly realized that this was a major source of his ego. At the end of every sentence, as Levi explained (probably for the thousandth time, since he remarked that this was an annual occurrence) the rules of the Water Wars, cheers would erupt from the entire student body.

It took a message from Lucifer to calm everyone down enough for you to actually learn the rules of the Water Wars, but they were simple enough.

There are only four rules.

Rule 1: No switching sides. Everyone is assigned to either the Southern Water Fortress or the Northern Water Fortress, based on which half of the campus their dorms are on. Friendly fire, even if accidental, is grounds for "Water death"—a fancy phrase Levi coined for being 'out,' but you're determined not to let it come to that.

Rule 2: No leaving the R.A.D. campus. Yep, for the annual Water Wars, Levi has clearance to use the entire R.A.D. (buildings included!), though the students who are more interested in playing will stay towards the center.

Rule 3: Participants must get one 'kill' every half hour. Evidently, the entire Water Wars game was framed in the image of an actual military war, so getting someone out counts as a kill, and being killed yourself really only means that you're out of the game. Rule 3 is what prevents students from hiding during the entire game, since it only lasts one day, and is enforced through an enchantment spell everyone was bound to at the start of the game.

Rule 4: Avoid killing. And now this is probably the only rule you actually have a problem with, since it only says "avoid" killing without explicitly prohibiting it, but Simeon reassured you that demons won't actually take it to heart.

But if Rules 1 through 3 attempt to create a semblance of order, the subtle openness of Rule 4 wrecks it all, perhaps the only reason why these Water Wars have begun to feel like actual war.

And Lucifer is the enemy.

It's nearing the end of the day, and both teams have suffered heavy losses. The enemy team is exclusively the remaining members of the House of Lamentation and some other odd demons, while your team's numbers are even fewer. But that's why you and Solomon are going straight to their base—to eliminate the brothers before they can eliminate you.

You glance at your wrist, where there's a timer that dictates how long ago your last kill was. Eighteen minutes.

"How much time is left for you?" You ask Solomon when the Southern Water Fortress becomes visible. It looks empty, almost completely abandoned, and the sight worries you.

"I need to make a kill within ten minutes," He mutters back, squinting at the ground in case any lingering demons are foolishly wandering around.

You don't bother.

This is the endgame, less than twenty people left on both teams after the eight-hundred that started the game, and no one who's lasted this long will be making careless mistakes.

"Ready?" You call to Solomon when the fortress grows close enough for the two of you to jump onto it. For a moment, you worry that his human body won't be able to take the force of the collision, before realizing that he's not stupid enough to allow something so trivial to kill him.

He nods.

The two of you jump, landing weightlessly in the heart of the enemy fortress not seconds later. Staying back to back, you slowly begin walking around until you realize that your earlier worries have indeed become reality.

"They abandoned their fortress."

"Damn," Solomon mutters, standing up straight after he realizes you're right. "Shit. Five minutes before Rule 3 gets me out."

"Same," You mutter worriedly, seeing that the timer has approached twenty-four minutes on your wrist.

But before either of you can further comment, an announcement from Diavolo interrupts you both, his figure lighting up the sky over the R.A.D. campus.

"Greetings, students!" He exclaims happily, arms crossed with a pleasant grin stretched across his face. "At this point, there are less than ten students remaining in Leviathan's annual Water Wars!" You hear a cheer go up, but you can't tell where it's coming from. "To keep with tradition, the formal betting will now begin! More interestingly, it is now exclusively exchange students versus demons, with three exchange students defending the Northern Team and seven demons remaining in the Southern Team!"

You and Solomon exchange wary looks.

Shit.

"In light of this turn of events, your host Leviathan has decided to refill both fortresses with holy water and hexed water! The rules of elimination have been altered: to eliminate an exchange student, you must tag them with hexed water; to eliminate a demon, you must tag them with holy water. That will be all! The next update will come in either one hour when this session of the annual Water Wars comes to a close or when there is a winner!"

Double shit.

"Um, won't holy water kill a demon if it touches them or something?" Solomon asks. "And won't the same thing happen with angels and hexed water?"

"Not quite," You murmur, grabbing Solomon's arm and using all your strength to jump up with the sorcerer, the enchantment carrying you high into the sky where you can already see a group of demons returning to refill their water balloons. The two of you float to the ground right in front of their fortress, realizing that you're in for an all-out battle. "It'll sting a lot, but that's about it. Levi is probably only doing it to make us scared so that we fight even harder."

"Alright…" Solomon trails off, nodding his head hesitantly. "So, what's our current plan for those demons heading straight for us?"

"The reason they're returning to their base is because they need hexed water to get us out, right? That means they can only tag us with normal water right now," You respond, grabbing your two sad-looking water balloons.

Solomon nods, grabbing your arm. "Ready?"

"Ready."

And then the two of you have jumped forward with all your strength, soaring over the demons and their looks of utter shock as you begin the return to the Northern Water Fortress.

***

You and Solomon had managed to reset your Rule 3 timers on your journey back, both of you dropping water balloons on an unsuspecting Mephistopheles. It hadn't counted as a kill, but it had worked to give the two of you an additional thirty minutes.

On your return journey, you'd been completely cautious, making every effort to avoid demons for the sake of your own protection.

It seems that Simeon, on the other hand, went all-out.

"I'm not sure how they got here before you did, but the Southern team attacked our fortress!" He exclaims with his usual pleasant smile, sliding you both water balloons filled with holy water. You would worry at his revelation, but he says it with such a calm demeanor that you can't help but be suspiciously at ease as well.

"How did you manage to evade them?" You ask, squishing a balloon experimentally.

"Evade?" Simeon asks, shaking his head with a smile. "Luke and I attacked them, of course! Though Luke sacrificed himself to take Beel out. The lower demons came in range of the water cannons, so I managed to get them out like that—but I actually had to venture out to fight the rest of the brothers." He shakes his head, frowning. "I was only able to get Mammon and Satan. Lucifer is still out there."

Who put this overpowered angel on defense? You can't help but wonder, realizing that he's successfully reduced the entire enemy team to one demon in a single attack.

"Simeon, you're amazing!" You exclaim, wrapping him in an excited hug. Before, your team was the underdog—but with only one demon on the other side, your chance at victory has never been higher!

"What about the rest of the brothers?" Solomon asks. "Levi, Asmo, Belphie—are they already out?"

"Levi couldn't play, since he's hosting the Water Wars. I think Asmo got out in the morning because he didn't want to play and risk ruining his face and Belphie…" You actually don't know about Belphie. "I'm guessing he fell asleep and also got out because of Rule 3."

"So that means…"

"Right."

There's only one enemy left.

"Alright," You say, crossing your arms. "Then let's make a plan."

In the end, it's really Simeon who makes the entire plan while you and Solomon stare at him in awe, wondering whether he was a battle commander in a past life. The angel's reasoning is perfect, and he thinks of everything: a counterstrategy, four different what-if scenarios, and a plan to throw Lucifer off-guard. And it absolutely helps that he still remembers everything about the fallen Morningstar, using his current knowledge of the demon to even pinpoint where Lucifer must be right now.

And, from your position in the treetops, it seems that Simeon was right.

You wave at the angel subtly, keeping movement minimal to not draw attention. He's hundreds of meters away, but you can still make out the subtle nod he gives you and Solomon, all three of you now in-position for the plan.

As expected, Lucifer is standing in the middle of an open field, arms crossed, with a bucket of water balloons next to him. His pride won't allow him to seek out the enemy on their terms, so he's forced the three of you to come to him, and now he waits. You know all too well that he's waiting for a single one of you to make a sound, so that he can pinpoint your location and throw a balloon filled with hexed water your way to knock you out. But you won't give him that chance. You bend your knees, hands firm around the two water balloons in your palms.

Ready, you mouth to Simeon. Solomon must do the exact same thing, because in seconds, the angel is moving—your own cue to begin the assault.

Simeon stays low on the ground, zig-zagging his way toward Lucifer as the demon pauses and aims, focusing on the angel while Solomon makes his own lunging jump forward with three haphazard balloon tosses.

Lucifer manages to dodge all three, barely taking a second to grab a balloon and knock Solomon out with it—the impact of the collision dropping Solomon's body to the ground, and you can't help but wince—before he's back to focusing on Simeon.

With the demon's brief shift off balance, you recognize your cue to make your jump out of the treetops, soaring over Lucifer while Simeon draws ever closer, and—

Oh no.

You can feel the precise movement when Solomon's enchantment wears off, likely caused by the sorcerer's sudden unconsciousness, and Simeon pauses for a moment to glance worriedly up at your flailing form. You've already jumped, but your body is no longer weightless, and you're charging headfirst at Lucifer with gravity pulling you down all the way.

Sensing Simeon's hesitation, the firstborn demon wastes no time in delivering a swift throw straight to Simeon's chest, the added sting of the hexed water crumpling Simeon to the ground in a hiss.

Still flying through the air, you decide that it's too late to turn back, so you do your best to take aim and throw your balloons at Lucifer, now approaching him directly overhead. Powered by your strength, the balloon cuts through the air faster than you, and it makes a streaming sound as if approaches Lucifer overhead, and it's so close to hitting him, just another hundred feet and he'll be out, and you're so close and—

Damn it.

Hearing the sound, Lucifer looks up, only briefly stunned by the fact that it must look like you're falling out of the sky armed with water balloons. His eyes widen, realizing that both his hands are empty, and then he comes up with perhaps the most frustrating solution he could possibly think of: throwing the entire bucket of hexed water balloons up at you, the pink and purple and yellow balloons soaring up into the air at top speed.

When they collide with the two balloons from your own throw, the sudden stop after such overwhelming speed is nothing short of chaos.

Seven hells.

The balloons collide in a deafening pop! that sprinkles holy water and hexed water everywhere in a mini-explosion: onto you, onto Lucifer, and every inch of space in between.

Your body streams through the suspended water particles in the air, and you hiss at the sensation of hexed water. On the ground, Lucifer is wincing with the same pain, feeling holy water sizzle on his skin—but really, that should be the least of either of your problems because your jump was extremely well-aimed and any second now gravity is going to your body all the way and you're going to collide with Lucifer and—

Goddammit—really, can you catch a break?

The two of you groan in pain, skin hurting from the holy and hexed water, bodies aching from you literally crashing into Lucifer from almost a thousand feet up in the air.

"Are—are you okay?" You manage to ask him, wincing as you try to stand up, only collapse onto his chest again.

"All...good…" He mutters, groaning. "And you?"

"S-same," You manage to stutter, holding your head.

And then you both black out.

***

Today's dinner is served in the House of Lamentation, with the food prepared by Luke and Beel.

At the beginning of the school year, you would all eat in your own dorms, separate from one another. But by the end of the second week of school, there was no point to it. You would always be texting the brothers on a group chat, Solomon would always be video calling Asmo, and it got to the point where even Luke, with his self-proclaimed hatred of demons, was texting Beel on his D.D.D.

Simeon and Lucifer got together and agreed that, to cut down on everyone's phone usage at the dinner table, your dorms would begin eating dinner together once a week. And then it turned into twice a week. Soon, thrice a week. And then it was every other day, and now the only time you guys don't eat together is on weekends.

But today, there's a competitive edge in the air, all of you having come fresh from the Water Wars. (Well, others did. You, Lucifer, Simeon, and Solomon were all temporarily stored in the infirmary until you regained consciousness.)

"Oh please, Asmo." Solomon crosses his arms, tapping his fork on his plate while Beel brings the dishes from the kitchen over. "You were out in the first half hour, there's no reason for you to act all cocky."

"Excuse me!" Asmo gasps dramatically, crossing his arms. "What if someone threw something at my face?! I know you're okay with being knocked out, but I have to look perfect all the time. You could never understand, Solomon."

"Alright," You interrupt, leaning back in your chair. "But I'm sure we all know that our team actually won, right? Lucifer totally lost to me."

"Those are bold claims, MC." Lucifer regards you with a smirk. "If I recall, I wasn't the one who was completely soaked to the bone afterward. Look, your hair is still wet."

"Shut it, Luci." You scowl. "The only reason it even counted as a tie was because gravity did all your work for you when I fell through the water. How did that feel, hm? To know that, if not for the Devildom's natural forces, then you would have lost?"

"Wasn't it you who came crashing into me, though? You needed me to break your fall. Are all your plans so thoughtless?"

"Only because Solomon's enchantment spell wore off!"

"And you didn't think of that as a possibility? Tsk, how disappointing."

"Hey!" You protest, crossing your arms. Lucifer still wears that devilish smile, daring you to continue. And you absolutely would, if not for Simeon.

"Now, now. No need to be upset, little lamb." Simeon pats your head, frowning slightly at the dampness before his lips curve upward once more. "We all know he's simply jealous because he knows we were the rightful winners."

"Simeon!"

A wave of laughter rises from the table as you continue to taunt each other, only finding eventual peace when Luke brings out the last of the food. You mindlessly take spoonfuls of whatever looks good, your plate a mixed assortment of Celestial and Devildom food. It took two months to get to this point, but you've finally grown used to the local cuisine.

Everyone seems extra talkative today, the excitement of the earlier events still not worn off. Levi chatters animatedly about everything that happened, regaling you with all the details you weren't able to see in person.

"Still, though. I can't believe no one thought to dry you off," Simeon tuts disapprovingly, a frown present on his face. "I hope you don't fall sick, little lamb."

"Oh, right!" Mammon exclaims, glancing at you. "I forgot that angels fall sick so easily. How ya doin', MC? All good there?"

"I feel fine," You say, stretching. "I think falling onto Lucifer was worse. He's not comfortable."

But as if on cue, you suddenly cough, a shiver following soon after.

Simeon sighs, his frown deepening.

The rest of dinner passes by quickly, but no one's in a rush to leave. As with tradition, the Water Wars took place on the third Friday of the second month of school, and no one has any plans for the evening.

The eleven of you end up spaced out over various couches (with Belphie napping on the floor) in the common room, chatting aimlessly about all the projects you have coming up. As usual, Mammon keeps trying to convince you all to play card games—and thus, to gamble on them—but Lucifer shuts him down quick enough.

Another violent cough is ripped from your throat, the room going silent at your momentary struggle.

"Little lamb?" Simeon questions, concern present on his face. "Are you sure you're alright? You know that this is how all our illnesses start, and I don't want—"

Another coughing fit comes from you, only stopping when Simeon moves forward to rest his hand on your back. "Little lamb?" He repeats, voice gentle.

"I, um…" You place your hand over your chest, where it still tingles from all your coughing. "I don't feel too good."

Simeon brings a hand to your forehead, and when he steps back, his frown is even deeper. He turns around, glancing at the brothers. "I'm going to take her back. Her forehead isn't incredibly hot, but it's warmer than usual."

But Lucifer shakes his head. "You know how cold Devildom nights get, Simeon. The journey back will only make things worse." He glances at you, worry written into his features. "It may be best if she spends the night here."

Simeon looks hesitant about the idea, still incredibly aware that the exchange students dorm separate from demons for a reason, but when he sees you shiver, he relents.

"I'll fetch her things," He says, unclasping his Celestial cloak in favor of using it to cover your body as a blanket. "Solomon, Luke, let's go."

"I'll come, too!" Asmo exclaims, jumping up as soon as his eyes settle on Simeon's bare shoulders. An amused smile dawns on the angel's face at the realization, but he humors the fifth-born and allows Asmo to tag along as he ushers the rest of the residents of Purgatory Hall out, Asmo practically clinging to his arm the whole time.

When they're gone, the air in the room changes.

"Are you alright?" Lucifer asks, moving to sit next to you on the couch. His lips ghost over your forehead, earning a small groan of protest from Mammon at the PDA. Even you're surprised at it—given that Lucifer has never liked showing affection so openly, even when it's as small as this—but when you look into his eyes, you see genuine worry.

"I'm fine," You respond, laughing a little. "Don't kiss me, or you'll fall sick, too."

"Demons don't fall sick as easily as angels," Satan comments from the other side of the room, leaving to give you some privacy. The other brothers soon follow suit.

Lucifer watches them leave, waiting until they're all gone before he pulls you into his lap, pressing his forehead to yours. "Excited to spend the night here?"

You laugh lightly, leaning into his warmth. Even with Simeon's thick cloak wrapped around your shoulders, you feel undeniably cold, and you shiver in the demon's arms.

"Still cold?" Lucifer asks. You nod, and he lifts you. (You have to stop yourself from gasping when you realize that he's carrying not only your body weight, but the weight of your Celestial cloak, plus the weight of Simeon's even-heavier cloak.) "We have a guest room in the House of Lamentation, so I'll set you up for the night in there."

"I can walk," You say, pouting lightly as he carries you up the stairs, but Lucifer ignores all your protests.

"You're sick," He justifies, entering a room you've never seen and setting you down on the bed. He goes as far as to tuck you into the covers, batting your hands away when you try to do it yourself. "Rest and sleep is the best remedy for a common illness like this. If we were in the Celestial Realm, I'd get you some medicine, but…"

"Luci," You reach your hand out of the blankets, slipping it into Lucifer's. "Don't stress. I'm fine."

You hold back another round of coughs, but not for long, and in half a minute, you're in a seated position once more, coughing into oblivion with no signs of stopping.

"Shower? Do you think a shower will help?" He asks as he helps you lie down, his eyebrows furrowed. "Or do you want warm water? I can get you some more blankets, too, but if you want some—"

"Lucifer," You interrupt, silencing him with a hand. "I'll be fine by tomorrow morning, really. I'm not as sick as you think."

But he's far from convinced.

"Fine, do you really want to know what might help me right now?" He nods, crossing his arms, ready to travel to the ends of hell to get you whatever you say you desire. "You. Come and lie next to me."

You tug him into bed, giving him no chance to retaliate as you snuggle into his side.

"Simeon will be returning…" He begins, hesitant.

"Shush," You say.

You close your eyes, forgetting how cold you are when Lucifer silently wraps his arms around you, keeping an ear open for the sound of a message on his D.D.D. or any approaching footsteps. But the only thing you register is the soft sensation of his hands as they go up to stroke your hair, and the feather-light kiss he lays against your forehead.

"Get well quickly," He murmurs softly, pressing his lips against yours as if he knows that you're already drifting off, and the action is more than enough to keep all bad thoughts away from your dreams as you're pulled into a deep slumber.

***

Simeon didn't leave your side the entire night.

Angels certainly fall sick more often than demons, but it's still unpleasant whenever it happens—and the last time Simeon had seen you shiver this violently was six centuries ago.

He frowns as another gasping cough tears its way through your lungs, your frame curled into itself as you try to stop the sickness from progressing, and a wave of sympathy washes over Simeon's heart.

Being sick is never pleasant.

But it seems that he's not the only one concerned for your well-being.

"You don't need to watch her from all the way over there," The angel calls, not bothering to turn around and face the demon standing at the door. "Come inside, Lucifer."

Simeon hears the firstborn hesitate before he finally accepts the request, quietly walking over to the other side of the bed.

"How is she?" Lucifer asks, raising a hand to your hair, brushing the loose tresses out of your face. You flinch at the contact, but your body leans in to the additional source of warmth soon enough.

"Worse. She began shivering around midnight. I think her fever started up two hours later. It broke for a while in between, but…"

"It's back."

Simeon nods, tightening his grip on your fingers as he holds your hand, thumb brushing over the knuckles as you sleep. He glances upward, trying to catch Lucifer's eyes, but the darkness is too overpowering. The moonlight falls into the room at the perfect angle, illuminating your body but neither the angel nor the demon, the two men as hidden from each other as their thoughts.

He watches with bated breath as Lucifer's hand trails from your hair to your cheek, gently stroking the skin in soothing circles, just how Simeon had done an hour ago.

"She's beautiful," Simeon comments, more to fill the silence than anything.

"She is," Comes Lucifer's response, a confirmation, but it's something more than that. It's an affirmation, a silent you're right, and you've done well that comes from the guardian of old to the guardian of new.

And then the angel doesn't bother saying anything else, because the silence that wraps around Simeon and Lucifer isn't a veil of awkwardness or edge, but one of serenity. Their faces are tranquil as they watch over your figure, at peace as they bask in the quiet knowledge that the bond they share—two guardians, past and present, connected through you—is something that words can never convey. Their bond goes deeper than brothers, deeper than the love they have for one another and deeper than any materialistic birthright that could bind them together: no, they are bound to each other by their love for you, pure as an angel in Simeon's case, passionate as a demon in Lucifer's.

The demon bends low against the bed, cupping your jaw gently with his hand to lay a chaste kiss against your forehead. It looks innocent, sweet; but Simeon knows the truth.

As Lucifer's lips ghost over you, you begin to stir in the slightest, eyes fluttering open as you look up for the first time since falling asleep. "Luci?" You ask, though it's more of a quiet mumble than anything.

"I'm here," He mumbles, leaning back. "Go back to sleep, MC. Save your strength."

But you don't heed his words, tugging insistently on his sleeve before he can draw your hand away. Your eyes are clouded with drowsiness, but your request is clear: "Come closer, Luci. Lie down with me."

There's a moment of silence, one where Simeon presumes the demon is raising his eyebrows in shock at the boldness of your request, before he lowers his head. The moonlight catches his eyes just the slightest, and Simeon can make out the question in his gaze—the silent May I? that Lucifer is requesting.

Simeon smiles. "Go ahead."

Lucifer is stiff as he shifts onto the bed, your body embracing him instantly with no regard for Simeon next to you in your compromised state. Your chest is soon rising and falling in a calm rhythm once more, arms wrapped tight around Lucifer's waist as you press into his warmth, but the demon is more preoccupied with Simeon than anything else. Now, in the moonlight, Lucifer's face is completely bare—the angel is the one who is concealed.

"Simeon, I—"

"You don't need to pretend," Simeon cuts him off, a soft smile present on his lips. "I already know, Lucifer."

"You...know?" Lucifer asks, voice incredulous.

Simeon can't help but laugh a little at that, the sound soft as it leaves his lips. He smiles, even though he knows that Lucifer can't see it in the darkness. "Being her guardian for four thousand years has taught me how to read MC well. She hides the truth with her lips, but not her actions. Even Solomon has figured it out."

For a moment, Lucifer is left speechless, evidently not having expected this of all things. And then, Simeon feels guilty for having his face hidden by the darkness and he sits on the bed, facing Lucifer where they can both have an honest conversation illuminated by moonlight.

"How long?" Lucifer asks, relaxing the slightest when he sees the kindness in Simeon's smile. "How long have you known?"

"As long as this has been going on, I suppose." Simeon taps his chin. "Though I only grew confident in my deduction that night before school started, when you called and covered for her."

Lucifer nods, remembering the night well.

And now, it's Simeon's turn for a question.

"Do you love her the way she loves you?" He asks, though he suspects he knows the answer.

"No," Lucifer murmurs, looking down at you fondly. "I love her more."

"I'm sure she would say the same thing."

"I don't think it's possible to love anyone the way I love her," Lucifer responds, raising his eyes back up to Simeon's. For once, the angel realizes that Lucifer isn't trying to hide any of his emotions behind his wall of pride, and everything is evident on his face: the love he harbors for you, the adoration, the inexplicable infatuation that nothing seems to surpass. "A part of me suspected that you knew," Lucifer comments, twirling a strand of hair between his fingers. "MC told me that you never asked questions, so that meant that you either hadn't noticed anything at all or you were consciously letting us be. And you've always been…" The edges of Lucifer's lips curl upward. "Observant."

"I wanted her to tell me when she felt ready," Simeon whispers. It's the truth—he knows that if he were to ask you an outright question, you wouldn't lie to him. "And I wanted to give her the option of keeping the secret. I can't imagine this relationship…"

"You can't imagine it has a happy ending."

Simeon nods quietly, dropping his gaze.

He knew from the start that this would happen. When you begged the High Seraphs to send you to the Devildom for Diavolo's exchange program, your heart only thought of Lucifer platonically—but that was before the element of temptation had been introduced in your relationship. When you used to both be two holy beings, proud and pure, it was unsurprising that only a friendship blossomed between you two. But when Lucifer's wings turned black, his nature changed as well, and four thousand years had only furthered your subconscious desires for the man.

And the High Seraphs knew it, too.

Part of Simeon's role as your guardian was to save you from temptation, to keep you walking the holy path and to halt any potential relationship between you and Lucifer. But he had never sworn it. And so when he saw the light in your eyes as you talked about the demon, he knew that he would not pry you away from the man who made you so happy.

Because he knew that in the end, the two of you would be separated regardless. So why not allow you the mercy of happiness in between?

"That night she left Purgatory Hall crying. It was two months ago, but I'm certain you remember. That night, she went to you. Tell me, Lucifer." Simeon's eyes darken, an occurrence rarer than a blue moon, but Lucifer doesn't flinch as their eyes meet. "Were you the cause for her tears that night?"

There's a moment of silence between the two, Simeon's protective instincts over you colliding with Lucifer's natural urges to shield you away, but Lucifer finally speaks.

"You are asking if I hurt her, correct?"

A nod.

"I did not." Lucifer casts his eyes away. "But I was inadvertently the reason she was crying."

A spark of curiosity lights Simeon's eyes for a moment, but it's gone as soon as it arrives. He does not seek forth anything beyond what is necessary, and the temptation for answers is one that cannot influence him. "Very well," He says, lips curved upward. "If you have not hurt her, then the two of you have my blessing."

Lucifer smiles.

The look in his eye is amused, and Simeon understands the reason for it. A relationship blessed by an angel is fated to succeed, it is said. Neither of the two know if this is truth or merely a myth cultivated from the heavens above, but both want to believe in it.

"Blessing a relationship that is doomed to fail," Lucifer mutters. "You have always had a strange sense of humor, Simeon."

"I have still yet to see a failed union that was blessed by an angel. Who knows? Perhaps, there will be happiness for you both in this."

"Perhaps," Lucifer responds.

The two of them remain in silence for the rest of the night, all things that needed to be said having been said. They only speak again to soothe you in hushed whispers when your figure begins to tremble particularly violently, or your cough grows especially bad. By the time the sun has begun to rise, you've broken out into a cold sweat, your entire body shaking as you try, in vain, to get warm.

"Are you leaving?" Lucifer asks when Simeon finally gets up, surprise written onto his features.

"Not quite. The High Seraphs gave me some medicine to use in case of an emergency...I know that a common cold such as this hardly constitutes as an emergency, but I'll deal with them later if I need to fetch more."

Lucifer nods, bidding Simeon farewell while the angel promises to return with Solomon and Luke, hoping that by the time he can bring you medicine, you'll be woken and eager to see your friends.

"Go," The demon says when Simeon hesitates. Only a final promise actually convinces the angel to depart: "I won't leave her side until you return."

***

As expected, mornings in the House of Lamentation are chaotic. Add all the residents of Purgatory Hall into the mix, and the house can hardly go a full ten minutes without a shout or the sound of something breaking.

Thankfully, both the parental figures of the dorms are locked by your side, tending to you while the brothers (and Luke and Solomon) pop in and out of the room.

"How long does the medicine take to work?" Lucifer asks impatiently, crossing his arms as he stares down at you. Simeon administered the aid over half an hour ago, but you've yet to show any signs of getting better. If anything, you've gotten worse.

"Relax," Simeon comments, amused at his friend's impatience. "It should kick in any second now. We'll know when it's working."

"How?" Lucifer asks, tapping his foot on the floor.

"Goodness, Lucifer," Simeon tuts disapprovingly. "Have you no recollection of how Celestial medicines work? We know it's kicked in when her angel form materializes. The natural boost to her magical power will force whatever toxins are causing this illness out of her system, and—"

"Her angel form will materialize?" Lucifer asks, with an intensity that Simeon doesn't understand.

"Yes. And then we'll begin to see symptoms of—oh look, it's already begun!"

Simeon watches with a pleasant smile as he recognizes the familiar light overtake your body, observing as you transform from human to angel. He hums approvingly, noting that it's been quite some time since he's actually seen you in this form.

And then the light fades.

Simeon's smile drops.

"Little lamb?" He whispers, eyes round in confusion. It quickly fades into horror, and then fear. This can't be right. His eyes are failing him, surely. How can it be possible that your wings, so pure and white and precious, have turned black?

The angel glances up at Lucifer, desperate for answers, for solace, for help, but the sympathy in the demon's eyes stops Simeon completely.

Lucifer knew.

There's another moment of confusion: a second of agony where Simeon simply doesn't understand why you would keep something so important from him but would tell someone else, why you would hide a change that must have torn your heart apart, why you would act like nothing is wrong when something clearly is.

And then the pain clears, and there's a flash of understanding where the truth dawns upon him. Not just the reasoning for your blackened wings, but truly everything. Why you never told him about your wings. Why you hid your relationship with Lucifer. Why you thought you could protect him if he never found out.

The two men glance at each other, eyes communicating more than words can ever say as they mutually vow to protect even this secret.

But then the sound of footsteps—the sound that they've both heard over ten times in the past hour alone—draws nearer once again, and they realize that while they can protect your secret, the moment the other residents of Purgatory Hall find out, it's over.

The door! Simeon's eyes seem to shout. But neither the angel nor the demon can move as they stand frozen at the sound of the footsteps drawing nearer. It roots them to the spot, freezing them like an enchantment stronger than anything they've ever experienced.

"Hey, guys!" The familiar voice of Luke calls out, drawing closer and closer. Simeon wills his legs to move, his mouth to say something, but his body isn't his own anymore. "Breakfast is ready!"

And then Luke is in the room.

Simeon doesn't think he'll ever forget the deafening silence of this moment, as the secret of your blackened wings that you've tried so desperately to keep hidden comes unraveled.

Because in one second, Luke is screaming at the sight, flinching at your impurity, and calling Michael's name at the top of his lungs, summoning the archangel in what he doubtlessly thinks is the right thing to do.

We failed her, Simeon and Lucifer seem to say to each other as they maintain eye contact, unmoving despite the sudden chaos that has gripped the room. They don't move, nor do they speak, nor do they flinch when the holy light of Michael's spirit materializes next to them, the rest of the brothers soon following suit.

I'm sorry.

The words are meant for you, a quiet beg for forgiveness that Simeon couldn't protect your secret. Would it have been different if he had known the truth from the start?

It matters not. I have failed her.

The angel's turmoil is written in his eyes, in his furrowed brow, in his slumped shoulders. But as the world around him continues to move in slow motion, he closes his eyes, sending a quiet prayer to God that this situation may somehow be salvaged.

Though in his heart, Simeon already knows that all is lost.

MASTERLIST

Word count: 7.1k

Notes: Posting this really late at night because today was wild :( Also i took a nap in the afternoon and i am like 90% sure that it was just a graphic sex dream (straight up porn, but like mild plot) which is extremely interesting because i am not a horny person and he’s the last brother i would expect to dream about but maybe its a sign that i should give him sum attention

Comment & Like

Next Update: 6/9/20

I do not own the rights to Obey Me! or any of the characters within it.

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halstudandruz · 6 years ago

Text

We Did It

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Reader has a hard time getting pregnant

Warnings: Trouble conceiving

A/N: First story in the pregnancy/daddy Jay series

You stared down at the counter sadness but yet anger beginning to course through you. You picked up the test, throwing it in the garbage before picking up your purse and coat, and heading straight for the door. It was only about a 5 minute walk before you arrived at your destination. You walked straight to the counter ordering a shot of tequila and a beer. Downing the shot in a second slamming it on the counter.

“Do I want to ask?” Gabby, your best friend, stood in front of you watching your actions.

“It’s not fair.” You clenched your jaw looking down at the counter.

“I know.” She sighed taking your hand in hers to squeeze it.

“We spend how much time and money trying to prevent getting pregnant, while those stupid pills and shots fuck with your health in the meantime and then when you want to get pregnant you can’t!” You exclaimed clearly still hurting. Gabby listened to you rant for another hour comforting you knowing how it felt before you decided to go back home knowing Jay would be off work soon. After Jay got home and the two of you ate dinner you curled up into him on the couch turning on the tv in and effort to distract yourself from your own thoughts. Halfway through the episode of Friends you felt Jay start to kiss up and down your neck, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you tightly back into him. “Not tonight.” You said grabbing his hand to stop him from moving it anywhere. You felt him pull back before he flipped you towards him so he could see your face.

“Why not?” He asked confusion on his features. You and Jay had been having sex almost everyday for the past 9 months. It was starting to feel like a chore at this point. You loved Jay with all your heart and you loved being close and intimate with him but it just felt like more pressure was put on you each time you had sex.

“I just don’t feel good.” You mumbled.

“Really? Well maybe you should-“ He started as you heard the hopefulness in his voice making your heart drop a little before you cut him off.

“No.” You shook your head looking away from him.

“Did you?” He asked knowing what you were implying. You nodded your head feeling the tears crowd the corner of your eyes not daring to look up at him.

“Babe. It’s okay. The doctor said-“ He tried to comfort you but you interrupted again.

“Yes, I know. That it takes average couples 5 months, but we’re approaching the 10th month Jay. That’s double the normal time. I’m just worried. I really didn’t expect us to have any issues. I just didn’t think it would

be this hard.” You admitted. He grabbed your face between his hands turning it so you were looking at him.

“I know baby, but it’s going to be okay. We’ll give it another month and if it doesn’t happen we’ll go get checked. Okay?” He asked trying to calm you. You took a deep breath nodding your head. He smiled sadly before leaning down to kiss your lips. “Alright let’s go to bed.” He said kissing your forehead before pulling you up with him to drag you towards your room. It had been almost a month since you had that conversation. You hadn’t taken any tests since that day. Not entirely sure you’d be able to deal with another negative staring back in your face, and you were terrified to think about making an appointment to make sure everything was okay. Knowing if you did you and Jay’s dreams of having children together could be crushed in a split second. For the last week you had been nauseous on and off throughout the day. At first, of course, your thoughts were morning sickness, but then you scolded yourself for thinking that. You hadn’t told Jay you hadn’t felt good. You just couldn’t handle watching his hopes sink again. Plus you knew there was a virus sneaking around your office so you weren’t surprised you had caught it. For the first time that week you and Jay both had time to sit and eat breakfast together, but you were once again starting to feel nauseous. You kept reminding yourself all you had to do was wait for Jay to leave. So naturally you had swallowed down the bile that had made its way up a few more times than you would have liked. Until eventually there was no swallowing it back. You had taken a drink of orange juice in hopes of settling your stomach, but it only fueled the fire. Sending everything you had eaten back up as soon as the liquid hit your stomach. You clasped a hand over your mouth hurrying towards the bathroom. Jay followed in after you pulling your hair away from your face to hold it back. After your stomach had stopped lurching you fell down off your knees groaning.

“Babe? What happened? Are you okay?” Jay asked kneeling down beside you.

“Yeah..I just haven’t felt well at all this week.” You answered and as soon as the words fell from your mouth you watched Jay’s face light up.

“Well...have you taken a test?” He asked trying to hide his excitement.

“Uh..no we’re out.” You lied turning your eyes away from his. Jay sighed cupping your chin in his palm to turn your face towards his. You were met with Jay’s skeptical face, eyebrow raised. “What?” You asked innocently.

“We’re not out.” He explained.

“Yes we are.” You retorted pretending like you hadn’t gotten busted.

“No. We’re not.” He replied standing up and walking to the bathroom closet to pull a new unopened box out. You stared at him blankly. “I bought a new box at the beginning of the week. I wanted to make sure if you took any they would be new and accurate. There’s even some older ones in there too.” He explained. You didn’t answer swallowing hard at his look. “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” He pushed voice gentle, kneeling back down beside you. As soon as you met his deep blue eyes you felt the tears bubble up, starting to breathe hard and fast, mind going a million miles a minute looking for an answer. One that would make sense to him. Jay immediately noticed your labored breathing before the tears began to run down your face. He dropped down further onto the floor pulling you into his arms. Stroking your hair and begging you to breathe with him. After a good 15 minutes your breathing returned to normal, tears finally ceasing, despite the headache you were now sporting. Jay pulled away from you looking concerned.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered looking down at your lap.

“Why? Just talk to me baby. Please.” He begged still as confused as he was a half hour ago.

“I can’t take that test, Jay.” You explained.

“Why not?” He asked picking up the box to inspect it.

“It’s going to be negative, and I can’t- I just can’t do that again.” You explained getting choked up again. Jay sighed heavily sitting down and pulling you into his lap.

“You’re going to take the test.” He stated matter of factly. You looked up at him eyebrow raised at his confidence for telling you what to do, making him chuckle. “Let me finish.” He smiled kissing your forehead. “You’re going to take the test...and we are going to see if it is negative. If it is we are going to keep trying and make an appointment.” Jay explained very calmly.

“Jay…” You bit your lip nerves taking over.

“Look at me.” He ordered tilting your head up with his pointer finger. “I love you with all of my heart [Y/N], and I can’t wait to have a family with you. No matter what happens. No matter how this turns out. We will figure it out together.” He promised running a thumb across your cheek bone. You took a deep breath nodding and pushing yourself on your feet. You stuck your hand out to where Jay was seated on the floor. He hoisted himself up while working on getting the box open. Pulling out one of the testing he handed it to you. You looked down at your hand still holding it out.

“What?” He asked looking from your outstretched hand to your face.

“I’m not about to risk a false positive.” You explained. He laughed lightly agreeing and taking the other one out and handing it to you as well. 2 minutes later you laid them on the counter, timer set on your phone. You sat on the side of the bathtub chewing at your lip nervously tapping your foot. Jay kneeled between your legs head in his crossed arms across your lap. Until the timer on your phone went off. You shut it off meeting Jay eyes neither of you moving. “You do it.” You stated, plead clear in your voice. He stood up slowing kissing you deeply on the way up, reminding you how much he loved you before turning to walk towards the sink. He looked down at the tests facial expression blank. Stance unwavering. You felt your heart sink watching him turn to you.

“Baby..they’re positive..” He said just above a whisper.

“Jay that’s not fu-“ You began to lecture reaching him in two steps and looking down at the counter yourself. Where two positive pregnancy tests stared back at you. You stood frozen unable to process what was happening while Jay had snapped out of his shock scooping you up in his arms hugging you tightly, tears running down his face as you wrapped your legs around his waist, arms encircling his neck.

“We did it. We’re going to have a baby.” He smiled wide kissing you all over your face and neck, disbelief slightly present in his voice. You could feel tears falling down your cheeks taking it all in. You had never been so happy in your life, and you had never been so in love with Jay as you were in this moment. Never so thankful as you were in this moment.

#jayhalsteadxreader #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd #jay pregnancy series #jay series #daddy jay series

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limited-practice · 5 years ago

Text

Here’s a quick thing I wrote based on the prompt ‘Bumblebee and Cooking.’

My love for random comedy is unceasing, and this was a fun thing to write.

1443 words of Bumblebee trying to follow a soup recipe from a cooking book he bought from Swindle are below the cut.

Follow this simple** recipe and you’re guaranteed*** to create a meal that will startle**** and delight your guests and leave them begging, absolutely weak on their knees with their tongue lolling out of their drool stained desperate mouths BEGGING you for just one more spoonful, just one more sip, just one quick lick around the bowl in case some dripped down the side and is hardening on the bottom and it doesn’t matter that the bowl’s been rolling around the floor because we’ve all been fighting like rabid turbo foxes over it because it’s just. That. GOOD.*****

Bumblebee's arms collapsed to his sides in defeat. He held a cooking book loosely in his fingers.

“Why? Why did I buy this?” he muttered to himself under his breath. “Why?”

He shook his head, appalled at his behaviour. “And why did I buy it from Swindle? I know better than that.”

He raised his voice and looked up at the ceiling as he clenched his fist. “I know better than that!”

The book threatened to slip free from his other hand. He glanced down at the ornately decorated purple and gold book, and couldn’t help but look at the large author’s photo printed on the back. Swindle was wearing a chef’s hat and holding a spoon. He beamed up at him.

“If we get food poisoning from this I’m coming after you.”

The book dangled in Bumblebee’s hand, and Chef-Swindle looked like he was laughing.

“But due to a series of unfortunate and improbable events, this book is the only thing that can teach me to cook soup for my important dinner party tonight.”

Bumblebee put the book flat on the counter and opened it to the first page.

“‘First of all,’” Bumblebee read out loud from the book, “‘Fill six large measuring cubes with VERY watered down engex distillate. This is the base for your soup, and MUST be watered down and MUST be thin and weak and able to accommodate rapid heating as a precursor for more complex substances.’”

“That...kinda makes sense. And seems simple enough.” Bumblebee’s eyes narrowed. “But what’s the catch? What’s the catch here Swindle? ”

‘That’s it! There’s no catch, I swear there’s not! After filling your pan set the heat to a rapid - and I mean circuit melting RAPID - heat. Blast that engex distillate for approximately 60 seconds until it’s so scalding hot it could melt your plating off if you’re not careful. See the next page for a great deal on emergency medical coverage that includes but is not limited to scald, burns, cuts, dismemberments!’

Bumblebee sighed. The instructions were spread out over a double paged spread, but were squeezed into a few lines at the very top. The rest of the space was taken up by garish advertisements for cooking utensils and measuring cubes and lots of promises to save ! ! $ $ ! !

“Fine.” Bumblebee poured six large measuring cubes worth of thin engex distillate into a pot and cranked the heat up as high as the cooker would allow. Heavy wet heat filled the kitchen as the liquid bubbled.

Bumblebee turned the page to the next instructions.

‘If you haven’t burnt yourself yet, you will soon!’

“What?”

‘There’s a time in every bot’s life when they accidentally pour boiling engex distillate over themselves. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. But it is painful, so time is of the essence if you don’t want to be in agony. Put this number into your speed dial so you can call your dedicated insurance agent when it happens to you: 0800-PAY-TO-TAKE-THE-PAIN-AWAY’

“Why wouldn’t I call for an ambulance if I burnt myself? What kind of idiot would call an insurance agent first?”

Bumblebee looked at the phone number for a suspiciously long time. As if he was memorising it. The timer on the cooker dinged, and he glanced up in relief. Sixty seconds was up. He was sure he had to remove the pot from the heat now or turn it down, but he turned the page to cheek the next instruction to be sure.

‘After you’ve set the engex distillate to a low heat to prepare it as a base - and I mean a LOW heat, as if it was practically off - use this very long time to prepare your ingredients. And check out the insurance deals on the previous page if you haven’t already done so!’

“What?” Bumblebee looked between the pan of roiling liquid and the book.

‘You DID set it to a low and gentle heat, didn’t you? Because if you set it straight to a boil you’ve just ruined your soup. Why did you do that? That was stupid.’

Bumblebee swore loudly.

He turned the heat off, emptied the pot, filled another one with the same amount of liquid, and set it on a low heat on a different burner. He looked at the book to find out what ingredients he had to prepare.

‘Back when I was freshly forged and living in a strange city as I sought to make my fortune, I craved the comfort and simplicity of a home cooked meal like my mentor used to make.’

“Oh I don’t care,” Bumblebee said. “I don’t care in the slightest about your obviously made up story that’s supposed to be spark warming and reassure me that you know what you’re talking about. You just told me to set the liquid at a rapid boil and then insulted me when I did!”

Bumblebee turned the page. The story continued.

‘I also wanted a hearty yet simple meal before starting a day of hard honest labour on a brisk Cybertronian morning.’

He turned another page.

‘So I turned to a source of great stability and comfort to me; something that continues to provide me spiritual, mental, and emotional guidance in these increasingly trying times - my bank account.’

With a growing sense of alarm, Bumblebee flipped through the next twenty pages. The story marched through them all.

“Oh my god,” Bumblebee muttered.

Brightly coloured adverts infected each page. They surrounded the text of the story and were often embedded within it. At the top and bottom of each page was a headshot of Swindle. He smiled, dabbed his eyes with a tissue, laughed heartily, winked, and held up a copy of his insurance plan.

“This crap takes up most of the book. I paid for this. I paid actual money for this.”

Bumblebee finally came to the end of the story. He vented heavily. There was one page left of the book.

‘After the ingredients are cooked thoroughly and the liquid has thickened, it’s time to serve your soup!’

“What? What ingredients? What are you talking about? You didn’t give me any further instructions!”

Bumblebee looked at the book in rage. And slowly felt his expression melt into one of horror.

“You don’t mean that the rest of the recipe is hidden within that story. You can’t mean that. Please tell me you don’t mean that.”

Chef-Swindle held a bowl of piping hot soup in one hand and rubbed his stomach with the other.

“I don’t have the strength,” Bumblebee whispered.

He glanced up at the clock.

“And I don’t have the time! I just want the recipe, that’s all. That’s ALL!”

‘Because you’ve chopped and marinated your ingredients two days before, the flavours you’re about to experience will be divine! If you haven’t prepared them two days before, I’m afraid it’s going to smell like burnt rubber and taste even worse. Why would you do that to your guests? Why? What’s wrong with you?’

Bumblebee covered his face with his hands.

‘But chin up! Thanks to my home delivery service, you can still salvage the evening you’ve ruined by calling for a three course banquet to be delivered to the location of your choice. If you call now it will take just ten minutes to arrive. Just ten minutes to prevent your friends and family from hating you!’

Bumblebee looked at the cost of the delivery service. He choked back a sob.

‘Check out the other recipe books in my series for more delicious meals to perfect! And no, YOU’RE welcome!’

Bumblebee turned the last page. He squinted to read the small print that was squashed underneath the large photo of Chef-Swindle winking and giving a chef’s kiss.

*A highly subjective term not subject to strict definition

**A highly subjective term not subject to strict definition

***Not a guarantee

****In the good way, not the clutching-at-your-chest-what’s-happening-oh-primus-spare-me-I’m-having-a-spark-attack-I knew-I-should-have-got-Swindle-brand-insurance-because-now-the-medical-bills-will-cripple-me-and-I-didn’t-even-get-to-eat-any-delicious-soup kind of way

*****Adding mind altering drugs as an extra ingredient is absolutely not recommended. Especially not the perfectly legal ones you could legitimately purchase by calling 0800-ABOVE-BOARD-YOU-KNOW-YOU-WANT-TO

#bumblebee #swindle #transformers #my writing #I want to own a copy of this book #what if different characters wrote a recipe for a collection #random #fun #robots cooking #robots trying their best to cook #my post #humor #humour

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vampiretime · 5 years ago

Text

Prologue: Mark my Words

One day, 521.1 million years ago, a lone Figure came shrieking out of a rift in the sky. He fell headfirst into a vast ocean, sending out a cloud of bubbles, boiling water and reality-warping particles, causing the biggest extinction event the Cambrian period would ever see. He was about 30 meters underwater now, and could see the rift in the sky slowly closing behind him. He made a motion equivalent to a shrug, as it was his intention to get “trapped” on this planet in the first place. His home world was boring and this planet, on this plane of existence, was teeming with potential. Well, it was teeming with potential. He looked at the creatures around him, floating vacantly toward the surface. All dead.

“Oops,” he said.

He swam deftly for about 12 miles until he came into contact with his first living creature. It was about a meter long, a twelfth of his height. It propelled itself through the water by undulating flaps on either side of its body. Its eyes were composed of thousands of lenses, and he thought he could tell it was assessing him with an intelligence he had never seen. Primitive but calculating. He extended a tendril toward it, hoping to make a connection. He made a connection, alright, as the thing swam to the tip of his appendage, opened its disc-like mouth and bit him. The Figure laughed and swatted the creature away. Pain was foreign to him, but he got the feeling that this planet revolved around it. “That little bastard was trying to hurt me,” he thought bemusedly.

He watched the thing swim away and decided to follow it. Not as himself though. He looked down at where the creature bit him and closed his many eyes. Within seconds, his body had morphed into a body like that of the creature. A female, he now understood as he took stock of his own body sensations. Something about his internal body map told him he could have offspring if he wanted to.

“How interesting,” he mused. “Maybe I ought to find a mate.”

So he swam after his newfound friend, hoping she could show him a healthy creature to mate with. He swam up beside her, thinking she’d be pleased to see him. But he could tell she was anything but. She charged at him, biting at his fins, making it hard for him to keep swimming.

“What’s wrong with you,” he cried, “I just want you to show me around!”

But the she-creature would not give up.

Finally the Figure broke free of her bite and turned back into himself. He wrapped his tendrils around the she-creature and pulled her apart, tossing the two weeping halves of her body to the side.

He sulked in confusion, frustration and grief for a moment, for he had killed his only friend, not just on this planet but in the whole multiverse. He tried to remember what he had read about Earth. His kind had been monitoring it for some time, but no one had ever come here, and had certainly never disguised themselves as Earth creatures, living in cognito among them, like he was planning to do. No, the old fuddy duddy bookish types were too cowardly for that.

But the behavior the she-creature had exhibited was something he remembered as being called “territorial.” For some odd reason, the creatures here could be defensive about everything, food, mates, and even living space. On his home world, his kind tended to help each other rather than attack, he thought smugly. But I suppose they can be territorial about ideas...those old-timers don’t want me to do research this way because it’s not how they want to do things. If that’s not territorial, I don’t know what is.

Suddenly something caught the Figure’s attention deep deep below him. Movement. He swam down until he saw the source: tens of thousands of little creatures with eight pairs of slender legs, a pair of claws and dozens of spines.

“Now this is more like it!” he said. “These look to be about the least territorial species I’ve ever seen!”

He swam closer, put his face inches from the swarm and wrapped a tendril around the spine of a creature on the periphery.

“Just going to borrow this, old chap.”

He broke off the spine and closed his eyes as he held it tighter and tighter until he was an adorable little squirming freak. And for 100 years, he continued to live with the Hallucigenia until he predicted that they would evolve in a direction he didn’t care for. So for the next several thousand millenia, he hopped from species to species. Ate among them, migrated among them, had sex among them, lived among them.

300,006 years ago, he encountered his first human as a mosquito in what is now Cameroon. He was flying about, having the time of his life, eating his fill of blood to feed his brood. He could feel plasmodia inside of him, and knew whichever creature in the food chain he bit next would be the next step in the life cycle of the parasite. It made him proud to be the only mosquito in the whole world that was self aware. He landed on an animal that had the capacity to walk upright, which caused him to stop and assess. Clearly her lineage had been descended from primates, but he saw a new idle cleverness in her. She was laying on her stomach, face dangling over the water of a puddle of water. The Figure paused on her shoulder and tried to see what she saw. She was gazing, just gazing, at herself, ceaselessly. Her hands trailed the cool water and she marvelled at her reflection, not even what it represented, but the reflection itself. Her eyes darted around, studying every distortion of her form. This went on for about twenty minutes before she felt him on her shoulder and tried to slap him with those incredible, sculpted hands. He flew off haughtily.

“Stupid creature,” he grumbled. “Just gazing into the puddle like that. Her species will be extinct within the next hundred years, mark my words.”

He didn’t have any other notable human encounters until 7198 years ago when he heard stirrings that humans might be the most interesting creature on the planet: one that builds civilizations, just like his ancestors had Back Home.

At the time he was living as a gazelle living near the Mesopotamian river. Gazelle sex was thrilling enough to keep the Figure coming back for more but he was tired of eating so much grass. And he was sick of those pesky ape creatures that hurled arrows and spears at him. One day he was eating some plants he particularly liked on the edge of the river when a huntress shot an arrow at him from 10 feet away on the opposite river bank. It hit him in the flank and he charged, running in three different directions before deciding on one. But by the time he decided, the huntress was upon him with a dagger. His physical vessel was panicking but from all this he was getting an idea...if you can’t beat them, join them. He looked into her eyes which gave her pause. She cocked her head and regarded him. While her guard was down he shed his body and grew to his natural 12 meters tall. The woman screamed until he hushed her with his tendrils.

“I just...need…this.” he said, gently sucking out some of her blood with one of his tubules. He slowly shrank as he slid into his new human suit. It happened to look exactly like the huntress, which would never do if they were to exist in the same village, and he had no desire to kill her.

He looked at his reflection in the river and slowly mushed his face around a little. He looked at her.

“How do I look?” he said, doing a spin for her.

She had been staring at him in utterly stunned silence, but slowly found her voice.

“I will tell everyone what you are,” she said quietly.

“What?” the Figure looked confused.

“I WILL TELL EVERYONE WHAT YOU ARE!” she yelled, rising to her feet.

“Tell them what?”

“That you’re a shapeshifter. That you’re evil.”

“Then you’ll have to tell them your secret too.”

Before she could ask what he meant, one of his spines from his old form sprang out of his back and pierced his human skin. As the rivulet of blood flowed down his arm, he jammed the bloody spine into her mouth. She startled, spitting and cursing.

“It’s too late, my dear,” said the Figure.

The huntress was doubled over in pain, feeling as if her insides were turning to liquid.

“What did you do to me?”

“For millions of years I’ve been alone on this planet. Now I finally have someone like me,” he said, smiling.

The huntress cried and prayed to her ancestors as her body contorted and the hallucinations started to come.

“What did you do to me?” she wailed, and passed out cold on the riverbank.

When she woke up the Figure was sitting next to her, still human-shaped. She gazed into his face, which was a badly stretched version of her own.

“I was wondering when you’d wake up,” he said.

“What happened?”

“You’re like me, now, I’m afraid,” he said, still smiling.

“What do you mean, like you?” she asked.

“Just try turning into someone else.”

“Someone else?”

“Yes, make your face into another’s.”

“What sort of riddle is this?”

“Not a riddle, a command. Do it, now.”

She furrowed her brow and obeyed. She looked away, and when she looked back at him she was wearing the face of her father.

“Look at yourself in the river,” the Figure said.

She did and cried out.

“What’s your name?” he asked her.

“Aya,” she replied, weeping fearfully.

“Aya....you can call me Virulence. We’re going to have so much fun together.”

#prologue #its not quite done but it's the most finished part of the story so far #nat speaks

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gourmade4u · 5 years ago

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Start at the basics

Kitchen Essentials

If you’re just starting out, what are some essential tools and tips to keep in mind while you’re working away at your best Gordon Ramsey duplicate?

Well, for starters, you need to make sure that your kitchen has the necessary base in which to build from.

TL;DR- Chef’s knife, rubber spatula, whisk, pans (all types are neatly listed below the picture with the whisk and rubber spatulas), glass mixing bowls, kevlar or other cut-resistant gloves, metal spatula, cutting boards, electric thermometer, colander, box grater, and a timer (if you don’t have a microwave or oven that has one).

First thing’s first:

A Chef’s knife. I purchased mine from Ergo Chef (not an affiliate, I’m just a huge fan). From the moment my hand touched this knife, I cried literal happy tears from the depths of my soul. If you have arthritis issues, or issues that cause your hands to swell or lock up from consistent use, an ergonomically designed knife is incredibly important. For those of you just starting, my first knife set was a Farberware set with a wooden block from Walmart. It was a 20 piece knife set with steak knives and it was less than 90 dollars. But take the time to invest in your knives, you’ll be grateful that you did.

I’ll post in a separate article how to sharpen your knife, but do keep in mind to NEVER, hold on, let me bold this, NEVER: run your knives or single knife through the dishwasher, and/or leave them in the sink. After you finish using your knife, it is best if you wash and dry it immediately to keep it from rusting. Your knives will thank you, and so will your wallet.

A rubber spatula.

So, this little guy is the absolute best. He will help you toast rice for your risotto, spoon out that perfect pan sauce that took you way too many tries to get it exactly the way you wanted, AND he'll make sure that all your batter makes it into the pan, or your mouth, whichever you prefer.

A whisk. So yes, a whisk is incredibly versatile. You can use it to scramble eggs, make meringue, mayo, vinaigrette, and bake that cake you’re gonna regret in a week.

PANsexuality is important. But it has nothing to do with this next list of pans.

Non-stick pan

10 in. stainless steal or ceramic pan

Cast iron pan (or 3)

Sauce pot (if you're like me, you have 6)

Griddle pan (not pictured... yet)

Sheet pan

Casserole

Each and every one of these serves a unique purpose.

A non-stick is great for eggs, bacon, frittatas (which are fancy eggs), and so many other items that I promise aren't just breakfast food.

A ceramic pan is wonderful, but in my personal opinion, a stainless steel is better if you're a novice. A ceramic pan requires a lot of spoons (energy) and maintenance. They scratch easily if you look at them the wrong way. But they are great for more even cooking than a stainless, and make the best pork chops. Stainless steel isn’t as hard to work with, isn’t as high maintenance (though, like knives, NEVER put them in your dishwasher), is ideal for crusting your steak, and making a pan sauce with the remaining bits.

A cast iron pan evenly distributes heat and you can put it in the oven at 500 degrees without worrying about warping or damage to your pan. Cast iron is also fantastic if you don’t want to use as much fat in your pan to keep your items from sticking. Also, you can’t get a crust on a steak in any other pan, the way you do in a cast iron. Also, don’t put this in the dishwasher.

A sauce pot sounds like an unnecessary necessity. I’ll explain, when most people hear “sauce” pot, they get very confused because there are like, 30 types. This is an exaggeration, but there are a lot of types. A large saucepot can hold from 1 qt. to 5 qts. I always recommend getting a 5 qt. pot because you can use it for small amounts and large amounts. But the best advice I can give would be to get one that can hold at least 2 c of liquid, and also one that can hold 5 qts so you’re not making oatmeal for yourself in a pot that’s too big.

A Griddle pan is more of a luxury item, but I always recommend having one in your kitchen. You can make your best pancakes, arepas, bacon, grilled cheese, tuna melt, etc. It’s honestly a great tool to have on hand if you want to whip something up quickly.

A sheet pan is important for so many reasons. You can make cookies, cake, bacon (I know I’ve said about 2 of the others already), roasted veggies, etc. I definitely recommend having at least one on hand. You’ll find that you’ve allowed yourself to enjoy brussel sprouts smothered in parmesan cheese, and roasted cauliflower with garam masala and ginger for the first time ever. Just trust me, your oven is made for a varying amount of possibilities, and the right tools can get you started.

A baking dish/pan/casserole, whatever you want to call it, it’s a huge piece of either: cast iron, ceramic, glass, or clay that can be covered and it will, much like your sheet pan, allow for new ideas in the kitchen. Casserole is a very common word used by mostly older women from the south, but they aren’t just a dish your grandma cooked in the 50′s. French toast casserole is so impossibly custardy and delicious, you will thank the Gods that there has ever been something so wonderful in existence. You have stews, roasts, lasagna (uncovered, don’t be rude to your lasagna), and so many others. Just please, okay? Okay.

Glass mixing bowls are a MUST. Okay, so some really important things about these bad boys: DON’T leave them on a hot stove because the heat will make them shatter and explode all over your kitchen. If you have pets or kids, I don’t have to tell you why this would be bad for potentially weeks on end. You can, however, makeshift a glass bowl and a boiling pot of water into a double boiler to melt your favorite chocolate chips to make fudge. Glass bowls are also non-absorbent, so they won’t retain bad odors or flavors when you use them in the kitchen. They’re also incredibly sanitary for the same reason.

A pair of Kevlar or other gloves meant for slicing and dicing in the kitchen. I recommend this no matter what level of experience you have. Professional chefs cut and burn themselves all the time, it is best you do what you can to protect your fingertips and nails.

A metal spatula will help you scrape any bits and pieces that have stuck onto your stainless or ceramic pan. Please be sure to use carefully, the metal spatula itself is very temperamental and can ruin your pans forever.

Cutting boards. There are, a whole litany of reasons you need a cutting board or 10 in your kitchen. I myself have 4 and I use all of them. Cutting boards are made of several different kinds of material. Ultimately, for me, I use a wooden one and an eco-friendly material cutting board set I got from Bed Bath and Beyond. Cutting board maintenance is, arguably, the most important thing when it comes to purchasing one. Best way to clean a cutting board is to make sure you’re passing your sponge over the slits in the board left behind by your knife, in the same direction. In other words, don’t scrub your board in a circle, but trace over the cuts in the board to ensure proper sanitation of it.

An electric thermometer. Okay, so show of hands, how many people have deep fried chicken, burned the outside and undercooked the inside? I don’t know of any single person who is just beginning, who hasn’t done it. An electric thermometer is your best friend. You can get a regular thermometer, that will require constant calibration, or you can get an electric thermometer and not have to worry about calibrating it as often. Perfectly juicy, succulent, and properly cooked chicken will measure at 165 degrees Farenheit. Anything beyond 180, expect it to be dry, but at least it was cooked properly! To calibrate a thermometer: bring water to a boil, and then place your thermometer in the water, allow it to come to 212 degrees Fahrenheit, then place your thermometer into an ice bath until it gets to 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Celsius would be 100 degrees boiling, and 0 degrees in ice.

A colander is meant to strain out pasta water, and you’ve probably not seen it used for much else. But a fine mesh colander can be used to filter out your frying oil so you can reuse it instead of wasting it. This little thing is good for anything that requires draining: meat, starch from rice and potatoes before cooking them, washing all of your vegetables at once before getting started, and also, it can help with steaming your broccoli or shrimp when you don’t have a basket steamer.

A box grater in general, is a fantastic tool. They have different sides that allow you to do different things. From shredding cheese, potatoes, carrots, or zuccini. But the question a lot of people ask: what is that side with all the really tiny spaces in it? It’s a zester, and it goes so unnoticed for so long because most folx don’t know the best way to use it. The zester is great for adding a little elegance or pop of flavor into a dish. For example, if you use lemon pepper often, adding a zested lemon rind to your dish would bring out all that delicious acidity that you won’t get from just using the regular seasoning from a bottle. A little fresh lemon zest here, some grated nutmeg there, a little orange zest in your tea, these all pack a mean right hook. Try them out.

Last, but not least: a timer, gentlefolx. I can not stress the utter importance of learning how long it actually takes you, the reader to complete a task from start to finish. Not everyone works at the same pace, so a recipe that says “prep time: 5 minutes”, might actually take you an hour, and that’s okay. Keeping a timer on hand so you can keep track of how long each task is taking to complete, or making sure you’re pacing yourself as things are bubbling away in the kitchen, is a great way to figure yourself out in the kitchen. I recommend listening to music, writing your ingredients on a white board that sits at eye level in your kitchen so you can refer to your recipe as you’re going without having to constantly look at your phone.

I hope this helps every single one of you learn a bit more about what it means to begin your journey with food.

#Gourmade4u #kitchen essentials #cooking for beginners #Food blog #kitchen tools #getting started #cooking #food #foodporn #amateur chef #chef #food article #trans pride #lgbtq support

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justjessame · 5 years ago

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If Only Someone Looked At Me Like They Look At Guns 3

I kept my promise to myself. As soon as the clock turned six o’clock, I was closing down. I’d taken care of the coffee and espresso machines, washing and wiping everything down, and then made sure the trash had been tossed in the alley dumpster. Checking the store to make sure I didn’t miss any stragglers and that the aisles and bookshelves were clear and neat, I finally locked the front door behind me after turning the sign to CLOSED.

A part of me wanted to look around, to see if I could catch anyone watching me, but I didn’t. Maybe I didn’t want to know. Maybe I was scared I’d see nothing and not know if that meant they weren’t watching me, or if I just had no ability to sense it. Better to just not check at all, I decided. I walked carefully back to my apartment, thinking longingly of a hot bubble bath and something warm to eat with a nice glass of iced tea.

Walking into my building, I felt a shiver run down my spine. I looked around, but again saw nothing. I shook it off and took the elevator, feeling like the stairs would be too much with my current mood. When the bell dinged my arrival at my floor, I stepped out and felt the chill again. Damn it, what the hell. I glanced around and again saw nothing. Squinting at the stairway door, I stalked to it. I jerked it open and there they stood, staring at me like I’d dropped down from the moon.

“What the hell?” I asked, careful not to raise my voice. Even with two stalkers, two stalkers who were admitted killers, I didn’t want to rouse the neighbors.

Murphy had the decency to look embarrassed at having been caught, but Connor’s eyes stared straight into mine. He was looking at me like he had all the right in the world to be standing on the stairs leading to my apartment. “Wanted ter make sure yer made it ‘ome.” He said, stepping out of the stairway into the hallway. Murphy followed him and I was about to object.

“Ain’t yer gonna invite us in?” Murphy asked, as they hovered over me.

I rolled my eyes and stomped to my door. Pushing the key into the double locks with more force than necessary, I pushed the door open and stood back. “Come on in.” I said, sweeping my hand to allow them to go first. “If you’re my bodyguards, I suspect you want to case the place to make sure no one is inside to hack me to pieces.”

“Yer ‘dorable when yer pissed.” Connor said, walking past me and reaching out as if to pat my head.

I growled in irritation. “If you want to keep the hand, don’t pat my head. I’m not a fucking dog.”

Murphy chucked, knocking away Connor’s hand. “Wonder if ye’d bite.” He pushed Connor inside and grabbed my hand to tug me in with him. “Come on, give us de gran’ tour.”

I bit my lip and closed the door behind me, locking it because my dad had always insisted. They turned at the locking and I shrugged. “My dad always said there wasn’t any use to have locks if you don’t use them.” I moved to stand in front of them. “Grand tour? Ok,” I pointed in front of us. “Living room. Over here,” A point to the left, “Kitchen and dining area. “The three doors down that small hallway are, “ I walked a little further into my living room and pointed at each in turn. “Guest room, bathroom, master bedroom. My bedroom has its own bathroom. Now if you want, you may go inspect them all for mass murderers. Wait, I found them.” I pointed at the two of them.

Connor rolled his eyes at me. “We ain’t mass murderers.”

“Yeah, we only kill dos dat deserve it.” Murphy agreed with his brother.

I smirked at them. “Actually the definition of mass murder is the act of murdering a number of people, typically simultaneously or over a relatively short period of time and in close geographic proximity. You guys fit that description, correct?”

That gobsmacked them. “What kind of woman can rattle off de definishun of mass murder like it’s a recipe for chicken?” Connor asked, looking like I’d just thrown a baby out a window.

“I own a bookstore,” I answered with a glare. “Did you boys imagine I didn’t like to read?”

Murphy got over his shock reasonably faster than Connor. “Full av surprises ain’t ya?”

I shrugged. “Anyway, if you want to take a look, go ahead. I’m going to fix dinner. For three, I guess.” I held back a sigh. There goes my relaxing evening to process the day.

I kicked off my sneakers and hung up my bag on the coat rack by the door. Walking to the kitchen, I was hoping I had enough beef to make spaghetti for the three of us. Finding all the ingredients I needed, I started dinner as I heard them opening and shutting doors in the bedrooms and bathrooms. Satisfied that I wouldn’t be killed in my secure apartment, I guess, they joined me in the kitchen.

“If you want something to drink,” I said, putting the pasta in water on the stove. “There’s stuff in the fridge.” I stirred the sauce I’d already started. The beef and italian sausage were browning in another pan. “Oh and whichever one of you goes for a drink, could you hand me the loaf of bread out of the cabinet beside the fridge?”

I heard the fridge open and a bit of a groan. “Minerals and cold tea? Do ya not ‘av any real drinks?” Murphy asked. Minerals? Must be soda.

“If you were hoping for alcohol, you should have stayed at Doc’s.” I said, turning around and marching to the cupboard to get my bread down. “That’s what I have, so drink it or have water.”

I moved back to the counter by the stove to slice the bread and butter it with fresh made garlic butter. The oven was already on and ready to go once the pasta and sauce was finished. I layered the bread on a sheet and set it aside. While I was working I heard them take glasses out of the strainer by the sink and pour something.

“Ugh, tis sweet!” Connor spat, clearly having picked my tea. I chuckled. Murphy was silent, so I had to turn to see what his face must look like.

“It’s sweet iced tea, Connor, I’m southern for fuck’s sake. What did you expect?” I laughed at his grimace and saw Murphy’s glass was still completely full. “Scared, Murphy?”

He glared at me and took a small sip. His face contorted, but he swallowed. “‘Tis not dat brutal, Connor.” I giggled at the two of them. Dear God, they both look like they’d been poisoned.

“Give me the glasses.” I rolled my eyes, and poured the offending liquid into a large lidded cup for me to sip on while I worked. I rinsed the glasses out and opened the fridge to dig for a minute. Dad hadn’t been to visit much, but I’d gotten him some beer when he had, moving food around I found two bottles. Guiness, because I wanted him to broaden his horizons. There were two more left after I filled their glasses, Dad hadn’t been a fan. “Here, better?” I asked, holding up the bottles to show that there wouldn’t be any more surprises.

“Aye, ‘tis better.” Connor said, taking a long draw from his glass, clearly trying to get rid of the taste of my tea.

Murphy didn’t speak, just mirrored his brother.

I strained the browned meat and added it to my simmering sauce. Then I strained the pasta and put it back into the pot. Baked spaghetti and nearly homemade garlic bread sounded like heaven. Opening back up the fridge, I grabbed fresh mozzarella and parmesan and began layering my pasta, sauce, and cheese into a casserole dish. I could feel them watching, but I was too in my happy place to care. Once everything was ready, in the oven it went. I turned back to them after I put the dirty pots and pans in the sink.

“What?” I asked, seeing that they were eyeing me. “I’m sure you’ve seen a woman cook dinner before.”

“What are ya makin’?” Murphy asked, glancing at the pots and pans, as I moved to put away the leftover ingredients.

I tossed my answer over my shoulder. “Baked spaghetti and garlic bread.” I stood up and took my adult sippy cup to the table. “Let me grab the plates and silverware and I’ll have a seat until it’s done.” Connor stood up and Murphy followed suit. “Naw, yer cooked, let us set de table.”

Sitting down, I smiled and pointed at the cabinet and drawer they’d need. Soon three plates and all the silverware necessary for dinner were on the table. “So, are you going to tell me why you followed me home?” I asked, when they sat back down with their glasses. “Or do I have to assume the worst of you two?”

They grinned at me. “Tink yer already tink de worst.” Murphy said, taking a drink, but not taking his eyes off me.

“An’ nathin’ we say wud change dat.” Connor agreed, taking his own sip and staring as well.

I rolled my eyes as the timer dinged. “You’re not getting away without answering.” I stood and grabbed two oven mitts. I pulled out the bread and pasta dish. “Can one of you grab that heavy towel hooked on the sink?” Murphy did, and I gestured for him to lay it in the middle of the table. I placed the casserole dish down on it. “Don’t want to ruin my tabletop, do I?” I tossed the bread into a lined basket and carried it over to put down as well. “Connor, the drawer under the one you got the silverware out of has the serving spoons, can you grab one?” He did and soon we were dishing out dinner.

We ate in almost silence. I say almost because every now and then, I could swear they were talking animatedly in their heads. I’d heard of twins being able to do it, but sitting in front of them and witnessing it was plain weird. “You know you’re being rude, right?” I asked, putting down my fork and taking a sip of my tea. They both looked at me startled. “You’re having a really long conversation that I can’t hear, much less be a part of, that’s rude.” I picked up my fork and went back to my food.

“Didn’t mean ter be rude,” Connor said, looking at me with renewed interest.

Murphy nodded. “Don’t even realize we’re doin’ it ‘alf de time.”

I grinned, thinking it was rude, but made sense. “Well, you are, and it’s just as rude as speaking Russian or Italian in front of me.” Now they looked uncomfortable. “Don’t worry, I didn’t understand a word. I just think it’s rude.”

They both sighed, and I was taken in by the fact that they were mirrors. Connor was left handed. Murphy right. Their hand tattoos were on their dominant hand and that’s the hand they held their forks in. Their other tattoos, which now that their pea coats were off, having been hung on the coat rack with my bag, weren’t mirrors, but they were identical. Celtic crosses on their arms, Mother Mary on their necks, only Murphy had one that Connor didn’t. A star on his hand above the ‘e’ in Aequitas. They ate and drank like mirrors, but looked so different otherwise.

I waited while I studied them, knowing they were having another internal conversation. Rude, but understandable. Their eyes, I realized, both so blue they felt like I could touch the ocean if I held their gaze. That was almost the same. Oh and the fact that they both clearly had a blind barber.

“Yer right.” Connor said, repinning me with his eyes.

“We shouldn’t blather in front of ya in a languages yer don’t understan’.” Murphy agreed, also staring me down.

I nodded, “I understand the need for it this morning. I do,” I tried assuring them. “But now, I know who you are, could we keep it to a minimum?” I sighed, wondering why I was inviting this mess into my clearly sane life. “If it’s about your plans, fine, I don’t want to know. If it’s about ME, could you please just say it? OUT LOUD.”

I received two sets of nods. “Good.” I said, moving to put my plate in the sink. “I need to take a bath,” I closed my eyes, hoping I wasn’t going to regret what I was about to offer. “If you want, the guest bedroom and couch are available. For tonight at least.” I looked out the window and could see that darkness had fallen while we ate. “I’d hate for you two to get picked up after following me home.”

“That’d be awesum.” Murphy said, a smile growing.

Connor smiled, too. “”Preciate it.”

I nodded again. Feeling a bit like a bobble head doll tonight, I thought. “OK, I’ll be out in awhile.” I moved to my bedroom, feeling their eyes watch me the whole way.

I was happy to see that while they’d apparently opened the doors and looked around my bedroom and bathroom, they weren’t complete lurkers and didn’t paw through my drawers. I grabbed fresh clothes and sighed with the understanding that I’d only be braless for the bath. Half the joy of womanhood, I thought, crossing to my bathroom and starting the water, was coming home after a long day and whipping my bra off. Ugh, boys.

With that thought, I tossed off my clothes and settled into my warm bubble bath. The water was high enough to cover me to my armpits and for awhile I just sat soaking. Long day didn’t really cover it. Between my dad’s call of warning about the very men sitting in my apartment, and the very men in my apartment themselves, it had been a long month it seemed. I chuckled thinking of my dad finding out they were here, then sobered immediately. He’d call the authorities. He’d have them arrested in front of me. My heart clutched at the mere thought of it. Why? I wondered, why did I care?

I considered the fear I felt for them. The reason I was letting them stay with me, instead of insisting they go back to Doc’s. I didn’t want them to be hurt. I didn’t think they should be taken in by the police. I knew murder was wrong. Hell, even though I wasn’t much for church, even I knew the Ten Commandments. “Thou shall not kill.” It’s a big one. Of course, so was adultery, and for the life of me I couldn’t quite reconcile don’t fuck the married ones, with don’t smother people. Shaking my head, I tried to relax.

How could I? I thought, thinking of the two of them out in my kitchen or living room, sitting around like they belonged here, and I’m up to my armpits in warm, bubbly water. Naked. My head fell back against the tiled wall. Ugh. The two of them, those accents, those damn eyes. This had been a really bad idea. Having them here, nearby, close enough to touch. I tried to form a mantra to keep my sanity. “They’ve killed people. They’re killers.” And damn it if a sneaky part of my subconscious didn’t chime in with “only the ones that deserved it.”

Practically growling at my own damn traitorous mind, I started scrubbing myself with a vengenous. Scouring away the want wasn’t easy, but I worked hard to try to. My skin was a bright pink by the time I decided I was finished. Washing my hair just as hard, my scalp was tingling from the scrape of my nails. Unplugging the tub, I stood letting the water roll off my body and down the drain. Grabbing a towel to wrap my hair in, I took another to wrap around my body. The best part about being tiny was not having to buy enormous bath sheets to cover myself.

The mirror over my double sinks was steamed up, so I turned on the overhead fan. Stretching and cracking my neck, I felt the stress being relieved from the warmth of the bath and from just relaxing period. I dried off and pulled on my pajama bottoms over my panties. I glared at the sports bra, constrictive, but required with present company. Sighing I pulled it over my head and adjusted myself until my breasts were perfect. Then, I tugged on a loose t-shirt. Comfort, thy name is Tessa.

I exited the bathroom and grabbed the book I’d left on my bedside table. I could hear them talking, but I thought I heard more voices. When I walked out to the living room I had to smile. They were watching television, an action movie of some sort and were doing their own commentary.

Checking the television, I realized it wasn’t some action movie. “Con Air?” I giggled, throwing myself onto the sofa between the bickering boys. “What fault could the two of you possibly have with Nick Cage’s masterpiece?”

This truly got them going. “Neck Cage is it?” Connor asked, eyes shooting daggers at the screen.

“He’s a sissy.” Murphy agreed. Shooting his own glare at the movie.

Connor gritted. “Luk at ‘is ‘air!”

“an' 'alf de shoite yer man does ain’t believable,” Murphy added, pointing at something happening on the screen.

Looking between them, I had to laugh. Then Connor’s eyes gave the first hint of approval. “Though yer man does know de importance av rope.”

That broke me. I started laughing so hard that tears formed. They were watching me now, curious and possibly a little worried. “My man?” I snorted. “Dear lord, the two of you watching this damn movie like you’re filing it away for later. Please don’t tell me this is where your ideas come from.” They were quiet, far too quiet, and not in the internal dialog way. Shit, is this really where their inspiration came from, MOVIES?

They both looked down at me almost sheepishly. My laughter died away. “Seriously?” I asked, looking between the two of them. “Action movies?” They were still focused on me processing their muse. “Which stars are you trying to emulate?” What the hell? If they were crazy, I was in too deep.

“Duke Wayne is a gran’ wan.” Murphy whispered, seeing a bit embarrassed.

Connor nodded. “Charlie Bronson as well.”

“How have you two managed to survive?” I asked, confused by their complete idiocy. “You've been taking on TRAINED killers using moves you learned in MOVIES?” I sat stymied by the mere thought of how much luck went into them not being gunned down by now. “How many times?” I asked, and realized I may need them to explain what I was asking. “Have you been shot, how many times?”

This time I knew they were discussing within themselves what to tell me. “The truth, please.” I begged. If I was going to let them in my life, I had to know.

They nodded to one another. I nearly crawled out of my skin when they stood up and started disrobing. “Wait!” I raised my voice just enough to get their attention. “What the fuck are you doing?”

They each raised a shoulder, and kept pulling up their shirts. “Yer wan ter know.” Connor said, pulling his head free from his t-shirt.

“Tart it bes to jus show ya.” Murphy said, once his was free from his own. When their hands came to their belts, I jumped up.

“Jesus!” I said, stopping their hands with a hard gesture.

“Lord’s name.” They both admonished. I rolled my eyes, sure ok, taking the Lord’s name in vain is bad, but stripping in front of someone you barely knew isn’t. Just to show their battle scars. For fuck’s sake.

“Sure, ok.” I said, happy they had stayed their hands. Was it really this warm in my apartment or was I just that freaking turned on. Looking between the two of them I couldn’t make my mind work. Shit. What was the damn question again?

#Connor MacManus X OFC X Murphy MacManus #eventual smut #Boondock Saints 2 #no twincest #alternative universe

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certainempatheticturkeymuffin · 5 years ago

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Because I feel like it, here's me as a Gym Leader

Name: Tebra (As in: Invertebrates)

Type: Bug

TM: 81/60 X-Scissor

Gym Number: 8

Gym lay out: You have to travel through different terrain and avoid the hidden trainers in each section. If you get caught your highest level pokemon, on your team, will be taken from you, and you have to battle to get it back. If you lose, you're sent to the beginning and unable to use that pokemon against any gym trainers or the gym leader. Tebra prides themself on strategies built for each pokemon, and having one that falls apart if one pokemon is taken away is considered shameful and short sighted. Each terrain poses challenges and hints at one of the leader's pokemon, not their order however.

ROOM 1: Flood Room, where you have to either navigate and get out as quickly as possible to prevent drowning, your timer is 2 minutes before you pass out and drown(get taken back to the pokemon center), or you can use a pokemon move to temporarily give you time to give you breathing room for strategy instead of mindless flailing that will certainly lead you into a battle. Pokemon moves that will help in this room are: Pain Split(Halves the pokemon's HP to reset the timer to the full 2 minutes, can only be used once), Present (Can either fully restore the timer, restore a minute, or halve the remaining time. Use at your own risk.), and Safeguard (Stops timer for 30 seconds, 45 second cool down). Foreshadows Araquanid.

Trainer Pokemon: Tentacruel, Omastar(One is named Lord Helix as an easter egg), Octillery, and Toxapex.

ROOM 2: Infestation Room, there are eight trainers in this small room with four pokemon each, you're sure to run into one unless you're quiet. They act as wild pokemon, if they see or hear you, they will not hesitate to charge you down for a fight. The best move is to crouch down low and take your time, one wrong move and you'll have eight trainers lining up to battle you and take your pokemon, and no they are not against using Paraflinch tactics. In certain areas you'll be forced into Triple and Double battles if you're caught. You'll have a noise meter to make sure you're silent, however your clothing will factor in to how much noise you make, so make sure to choose your outfit wisely. This room is all about patience. Foreshadows Vespiquen.

Trainer Pokemon: Oricorio, Mandibuzz, Togekiss, and Swanna

ROOM 3: Smog Room, breathe in the air and you get poisoned, of course, you don't know this until you walk in. So it's a race against the poison, which will take effect in ten minutes. In that time you must work out a lengthy maze and also avoid trainers, which are posted at some wrong turns. Pokemon are effected as soon as they enter the room, inflicting the Sleep status, which will be reinflicted after each battle, but healed once the room is cleared. Foreshadows Scolipede.

Trainer Pokemon: Arbok, Seviper, Drapion, and Dragalge.

ROOM 4: Spirit Room, where ghosts are wandering around and will gang up on you, forcing you into triple battles if you aren't stealthy. Trainers here are sleeping in dark areas that make good hiding spots, make too much noise and it'll be a six on six battle. The reccomended strategy is to avoid the ghosts all together. Find hiding places until they pass, then go find the next spot. Do it quietly so the trainers don't wake. It's about being clever, silent, and executing plans. If you have a ghost type, you can release it so it can lead you to the end, guided by whispers from pokemon in the shadows who won't attack a fellow spirit. The caveat, however, is that trainers are more likely to jump you if you take the wrong path. Your pokemon must listen to the directions it is given, if it believes itself above directions you will most likely be put in the path of a trainer, who are woken by the ghosts when you send out a ghost pokemon, and will be forced into a six on six battle, and if you fail you're forced to do every room again. These trainers are far more ruthless than the ones in any other room. Foreshadows Shedinja.

Trainer Pokemon: Dragapult, Aegislash, Mismagius, and Sableye.

ROOM 5: Boulder Room, it's covered in rocks. You have a decision to make, brave the sandstorm and try to figure out the maze, or you can use your own rock types to knock down barriers and fight everything in your path so you don't have to be hurt by the sandstorm as much. Pokemon here generally are raring for a fight, but if you're not smashing things then they won't attack. Trainers will fight you if they see you. It's a balance between speed and subtelty, as the sandstorm has a very real possibility of knocking you out and transporting you back to the pokemon center. How much damage is done depends on what you're wearing. Foreshadows Shuckle.

Trainer Pokemon: Golem, Solrock, Gigalith, and Coalossal.

ROOM 6: Meadow Room, it's a field, the path to the gym leader is a straight shot....however, pokemon and trainers will chase you down. If they catch you you'll be forced into a battle. Grassy terrain is always up and the sheer number of pokemon and trainers usually leaves people battered despite the simple path. There are fifteen trainers. The roof is too low to allow for any flying to escape, so you've gotta run and dodge to the best of your ability, and also avoid traps set by various pokemon that want to catch you. It's a test of your physical ability; can you run? Can you dodge? Can you escape unscathed? It's just a little sprint, can you do it? It's made deceptively easy to make the trainer cocky, then they take one step and all hell breaks loose. Foreshadows Leavanny.

Trainer Pokemon: Roserade, Whimsicott, Eldegoss, and Lurantis.

Pokemon:

Vespiquen

Gender: Female

Ability: Pressure

Held Item: None

Move Set: Toxic Spikes, Attack Order, Acrobatics, Heal Order

Araquanid

Gender: Male

Ability: Water Bubble

Held Item: Mystic Water

Move Set: Liquidation, Leech Life, Surf, Poison Jab

Shuckle

Gender: Female

Ability: Sturdy

Held Item: Heavy-Duty Boots

Move Set: Attract, Power Trick, Shell Smash, Earthquake

*Shuckle will only be sent out when the opposing pokemon is male, or as a last resort, never any other time.

Scolipede

Gender: Male

Ability: Poison Point

Held Item: Muscle Band

Move Set: Venoshock, Megahorn, X-Scissor, Facade

Leavanny

Gender: Female

Ability: Overcoat

Held Item: King's Rock

Move Set: Leaf Blade, X-Scissor, Swords Dance, Protect

Shedinja

Gender: X

Ability: Wonder Guard

Held Item: Bright Powder

Move Set: Confuse Ray, Phantom Force, X-Scissor, Hex

So yeah, I view it as going all out for the final gym really. Make it exciting and a pain in the ass to prep you for the elite four.

#gymleader #if i was a gym leader #pokemon #oc #pokemon concept

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flappyhappystim · 1 year ago

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These are so satisfying to watch!

FlappyHappy is a small stim toy business run by autistics. Please help spread the word about us! We really hope to be successful and be able to make stim toys affordable and accessible to those who need them.

We also offer free worldwide shipping on orders that are $70 CAD or more.

Website | Facebook | TikTok | Instagram | YouTube

#double liquid bubble timer #visual stim #bubble timer

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angelkin-food-cake · 6 years ago

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Raspberry & Elderflower Vegan French Macarons

liquid from 1 (15 oz.) can of chickpeas; chickpeas saved for another use

�� cup organic cane sugar

1 cup almond flour

¾ cup vegan powdered sugar

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 tsp. raspberry extract, plus more as needed

a few drops of natural food coloring

Frosting:

2 Tbsp. organic non-hydrogenated shortening

1 tsp. vanilla

2⅓ cup vegan powdered sugar

2 Tbsp. elderflower liqueur

a few Tbsp. almond milk, as needed

natural food coloring, as desired

In a small saucepan, bring your chickpea liquid to a boil. When it boils, lower the heat slightly and allow it to simmer/reduce for 10 minutes. This boiling liquid will smell weird, FYI. You want it to reduce to about 1/3 cup.

While that's reducing, combine the almond flour and powdered sugar in the food processor. Pulse to combine and run it for a minute or two. Transfer the powdery mix to the sifter and sift. Some macaron recipes I've used say to sift three times. I only sifted this recipe once. Discard any large chunks that won't go through the sifter.

Measure out your cane sugar. Set it aside.Once your chickpea liquid has reduced, pour it into your stand mixer bowl and attach your whisk.

Turn the mixer on to a medium-high setting (about a 5-6 setting) and whisk for 2 solid minutes - set a timer!

The mixture should get frothy and foamy.Add your cane sugar. Beat the mixture on high for 5 minutes - again, set a timer! This is the stage where the true magic happens. It's amazing to watch! When you're finished, the mixture should look like a meringue with stiff, glossy peaks. After, add your teaspoon of vanilla, raspberry, and coloring, and beat on high for 1 more minute.

When your meringue is done, fold in the sifted mixture in thirds. (Pour one-third in and fold. Repeat.) At this stage, I found that my batter was a little dry. I added another teaspoon or two of vanilla to the batter. You want it to be a thick, firm batter; but you also want it to be a little shiny.

Load the batter into your piping bag with a spatula. Snip a hole, about a half-inch from the end of the bag.

Pipe cookies the size of a quarter/half dollar onto your Silpat mats. One thing I will recommend - doubling your baking sheets. It keeps the bottoms from burning. Repeat piping the batter until you run out of batter - or room.

When you're done piping, smack the cookie sheets on the counter a few times. You want to get the macarons to smooth out and release any air bubbles inside. Whack them - don't be afraid to hurt them.

Allow the macarons to dry on the counter for 45 minutes to 1 hour. They should be dry to the lightest touch

Bake the macarons for 30 minutes. When the 30 minutes have elapsed, turn the oven off and let the cookies sit in the closed oven for 15 minutes. After those 15 minutes have elapsed, open the oven door and let them cool for another 15 minutes before removing them from the oven

For the frosting, combine the first four ingredients in a medium-sized bowl and use a spatula to combine. If you need a little more liquid to get the icing together, add a little almond milk to the mix, about a tablespoon at a time.

Using another piping bag, gently pipe the icing onto one side of a macaron. Grab another macaron and sandwich them together.

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bluepoodle7 · 2 years ago

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#FashionShop #DiscontinuedMerch #Purse #StoreClosing #PlushPals

I remember the long since gone store Fashion Shop. It had early 2000's furniture and clothes.

It also sold candy and snacks.

Kind of like Gordmans but had chairs like lips or a woman's dress shoe.

I miss that place.

I wish it returned online only like Kmart and Sears.

The other stuff I remember the store having.

I had a blue jeans purse with plastic decorations on it with the original tag on it before the place went under.

The decorations were falling off of it though.

Links to all the images of the items I saw in the store.

Pink Diva Shoe Chair by Piedmont - PDM-LRSCPink (homecinemacenter.com)

Amazon.com : Set of 3 Kidsmania 4oz Ooze Tubes! Oozing Delicious Flavors - Blue Raspberry, Cherry, Green Apple! (3) : Grocery & Gourmet Food

Water Motion Liquid Bubble Timer, Sensory Fidget Toy, Multi Colored Desk Toy Calming Sensory Fidget, Relaxation Desk Toy|Figurines & Miniatures| - AliExpress

Lips Hot Pink Velvet Settee - TOV Furniture

Juicy Couture | Pants & Jumpsuits | Juicy Couture 200s Og Big Bling Velour Track Pants Gem Rhinestones In Liquorice | Poshmark

Farfi Double Heart Liquid Motion Bubble Drip Oil Hourglass Timer Clock Kids Toy Gift - Walmart.com

#Fashion Shop #Discontinued Merch #Purse #Store Closing #Plush Pals

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routeraven · 3 years ago

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Air Bar Lux vs Air Bar Lux Plus Disposable Vape – Which is Better?

What is it about the Air Bar series that is making everyone fall over themselves just to get their hands on one of these vaping devices? Produced by Suorin Company, a leading vape manufacturing company with approval to sell in more than 90 countries. The answer to the above question is pretty simple. The Air Bar series excels in cloud production, clean taste, powerful hits, complete satisfaction, and durability.

If you are hearing about the Air Bar Lux or the Air Bar Lux Plus Disposable Vapes for the first time, then you are in the right place. In this article, you will learn what makes these disposable vapes so special and which one from the Air Bar Series is better.

About the Suorin Company

Suorin is an e-cigarette brand founded on the belief that electronic cigarettes can be turned into a force for good. They hope to make the world a better place by designing, making, and selling good vapes.

About the Air Bar Lux Disposable Vape

The Air Bar Lux Disposable Vape is an elegantly designed and compact vape due to its zinc-alloy chassis engineering. Aside from its aesthetics, this pen also has the power to boast of, with an external 500mAh battery to satisfy your craving. Since it is designed to be carried everywhere, the Air Bar Lux ensures that you are covered all through the day with its 2.7ml e-juice, so you can enjoy up to 1000 puffs.

Features and Specifications

Easy to use. All you need to do is to open the pack, take out your device and draw. The pen will take care of the rest

1000 puffs

5% nicotine concentrate

20 flavored e-liquid

Compact and lightweight

Awesome for first-timers

2.7ml juice capacity

500mAh precharged battery capacity

Thick and tight puffs that hit the mark

Air Bar Lux Flavors You Can Choose From

Black Currant: Thick & Smooth

Banana Ice: Sweet & Refreshing

Shake-Shake: Creamy & Velvety

Grape Ice: Cool & Tangy

Mixed Berries: Luscious & Juicy

Watermelon Ice: Succulent & Reviving

Triple Shake: Richness of cream & fruits

Banana Shake: Festive & Nostalgic

Blueberry Ice: Bubbly & Frigid

Blueberry Pomegranate Ice: Delicious tropical paradise

Blueberry Raspberry: Double berry explosion

Coconut Grove: Mouthwatering & cooling

Cranberry Lemonade Ice: Stimulating summer delight

Raspberry Watermelon: Tasty & Delectable

Strawberry Mango: Savory berry goodness

Strawberry Watermelon: Lush & Palatable

Sunset Cocktail: Addictive & Flavorsome

Watermelon Apple Ice: Yummy & Scrummy

Raspberry Grapefruit: Rich & Appetising

The Air Bar Lux Plus Disposable Vape

The Air Bar Lux Plus Disposable Vape takes the Air Bar series to a whole new level. Combining the design qualities of Air Bar Lux, and the performance quality of the Air Bar Max, the Air Bar Lux Plus comes with a 1250mAh battery for longer vapes, and more hits, giving up to 2000 puffs. The Air Bar Lux Plus possesses the same silicone rubber mouthpiece as the Air Bar Lux.

Product Feature and Specifications

6.5ml prefilled e-juice capacity

1250mAh battery capacity

5omg nicotine concentrate

2000 puffs

LED Breathing light

Draw-activated firing mechanism

Air Bar Lux Flavors You Can Choose From

Clear

Banana Shake

Berry Lemon Shake

Cranberry Grape

Energy Drink (Red Blue Ice)

Orange Shake

Cola

Watermelon Ice

Kiwi Lemon Shake

Blueberry Ice

Cherry Lemon Shake

Corn and Chips

Green Energy Ice (Monster Ice)

Strawberry Raspberry

Kiwi Orange

Cool Mint

So, which is better – air bar lux or air bar lux plus disposable vape? At $11, the Air Bar Lux is the real deal, especially if this is your first time. It has everything you need, thick cloud production, 1000 puffs (the equivalent of 40packs of cigarettes) long vaping session with a 500mAh battery capacity, and 2.7ml of e-juice.

However, the Air Bar Lux Plus Disposable Vape is perfect if you are looking for a combination of Air Bar Lux and Air Bar Max, which is a great flavor and high performance, then the Air Bar Lux Plus disposable is a perfect choice. Priced at $13, with this device, you are in for a great time. Power, performance, kick, design, and thick cloud production.

#Air Bar Lux Plus Disposable Vape #Disposable Vape #Air Bar Lux Plus

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picassho-18 · 7 years ago

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Tied Together By Webs

Request: (Peter X Fem!Reader) I saw you were in need of more requests! I’m in need of some more Peter Parker, so would it be alright if I asked for one? Maybe where reader is a sucker for chemistry and starts to study Spider-Man’s web fluids, finding all sorts of different combinations. Peter finds the reader making some in class and then from there he gets curious at how they know how to make it.

Warnings: language as always, fluff, lab experimentation, some catcalling, and assault, I think that’s it

A/N: This is a little shorter. I changed it a little bit, but I hope you still like it! Requests are still open, feel free to fill up my inbox. You could also ask to be added to my permanent taglist! Enjoy!

You were not obsessed. You were just dedicated, you thought while you were walking around Queens, New York, 4:30 in the morning. You were searching for the old Spider Man webbing he used to travel around the city at nights. By accident, you discovered that 4 to 5 in the morning was the best time to collect them. They were loose enough so you could pick it off the walls, but still not falling apart so you could study them in your personal lab at home. Your lab didn’t have any bells and whistles, being in your bedroom, but it sufficed, allowing you to decipher what the webbing was made of.

Satisfied with your haul of the day when putting the last strand in your bag, you headed home, seeing the beginning rays of sunshine, peaking out of the horizon. Inside you started comparing them to your original strands you had created before you left. You were on the brink of making a stable and stronger strand. Just maybe one more hour of tinkering left to do, but sadly you had to start getting ready for school.

Today was the first day of your junior year at Midtown High. You normally would have have dreaded the idea of school. Teachers sucked, they were always so oblivious and uncaring, and honestly they gave way too much homework. Plus, high school is filled with students who don’t really care about their education, grades, and really, their future like you do. This made you give up on any idea of having friends years ago. They just couldn’t keep to your level.

But this year, you were taking the AP Chemistry class. You had been looking forward to this all last year, for you had to take normal chem before this was an option. Little did the school know you were a self taught master of chemistry. Yet another reason you lacked in the friend department.

Slipping into some jeans and a Spider Man tee, you prepped your school bag, double checking that your webbing notebook, full with theories, ideas, and now your almost perfected formula, was in it, then you headed off to school. Your first couple of classes flew by, you not really paying attention. It was the same lecture of the class rules that every teacher gave their students on the first day of school. Even Chem was boring for you because the teacher just gave a whole hour on safety. Like really, this is AP Chem, we know how to be safe. You did perk up when the teacher told you guys that during lunch his classroom is open for personal experiments, given if it’s safe. This excited you immensely, you might finalize your formula at school before you even got home.

Lunch came and you found yourself back at your Chem classroom, and walked up to teacher asking for permission to use a lab station. He didn’t even look up, too engrossed in the movie he was watching on his computer, and just waved you on, nodding. Well, this is gonna be easy, you think, you’re gonna be able to do whatever you want.

You passed by the one other person in the classroom, a boy with some really cute curly brown hair, who was working on something you couldn’t quite see. You two made eye contact, and he smiled shyly, before you continued to the back, where it’s a little more secluded.

You set to work opening your notebook, and getting the supplies need to recreate the webbing. The school had every thing you need, and in high quantity. You smiled at your self, this is gonna be such a fun year. Adjusting the formula slightly, hope bubbled up in your chest, this felt like the winner that would finally work. You mixed everything, and dripped a little on a sheet of metal, waiting for the timer to ring. After your 30 seconds of anxious waiting, you added the required heat, and poured the solution in a tube. It would have to cool down for roughly 10 minutes until it would be sprayable.

It was while you were waiting that the cute boy came up to you.

“Hi!” he said with a smile, “I’m Peter” offering his hand.

You smiled, “I’m Y/N, nice to meet you” and shook his hand. He sat down and peered at the liquid, “Whatcha making?”

You blushed, slightly embarrassed, “Well, um, I’m recreating Spider Man’s webbing”

He looked shocked, “Wait what?! You know how to make Spider Man’s webbing? Has it worked before? Where did you learn how to make it?” questions stumbled out of his mouth in a rush, causing your blush to deepen.

“Well, I, huh, I go out every morning and collect his webs from the night before, and I used to study them, and now I have tried to make a stronger better formula, so yes, they do work, to answer your question” As the words fell out of your mouth you realized how it all sounded. Both you and Peter looked down at your Spider Man tee. “Wait, I, um, I’m not obsessed or anything, I umm...”

You went silent, causing Peter to look at you with curious eyes. “It’s okay I believe you. But I am wondering, why do you do it? Every morning, you must be outside collecting them before the sun even rises!”

Clearing your throat, you mentally debate on telling him, but with his golden brown eyes, and cute little smile he seemed trustworthy, “Well, last school year, I was walking home from the grocery store, I had a ton of bags, and it was getting late. These scary guys came up from behind me, and started to catcall and one even pushed me when I didn’t respond. Before anything else happened, Spider Man came, and webbed the guys up, saving me. While he turned to me, one of the three guys got out of the webbing and punched him in the head. He is a super hero, it didn’t faze him too much, so he got him under control pretty fast. After that, I came up with the idea of coming up with a better webbing formula, a stronger one, to repay him for practically saving my life. It might save him from any future punches.”

Throughout the story Peter’s eyes grew, and he nodded a couple times, as if he was reliving it. “So yeah, that’s why, I’m not obsessed, I’m dedicated. And I am super close to a perfected formula, and I think this is the one, I’ll find out-” the timer went off interrupting you, “after the time. Guess it’s time to check”

Peter peered at the now semi liquid with fascination as you tested it, springing it out. “Oh my God! I think this is it! Peter could you get me a pair of scissors?” Peter rushed and got a pair bringing them back to you, and you attempted to cut the strand in half and couldn’t.

“Oh my! You did it! This is so strong” Peter exclaimed while he stretched out the material. “What was the formula?!”

You and Peter nerded out on the formula, and how you got to that point for the rest of lunch. You showed him your whole notebook, showing all failed experiments, and all variations. You even showed him your little drawings that represented each type of strand you made. He looked at everything in awe, pointing out anything he saw that he really liked. When the bell rung representing the end of lunch, Peter hurried and scribbled down your final formula while he thought you weren’t looking. Confused, you left him be, not bothering to ask.

You and Peter said your goodbyes, and cleaned up your stations, and packed up your bags, and headed to your next classrooms. The rest of the day passed by in a flash. You were just so excited about your new discovery. The thing you were working on for months had finally been made! Now you just had to figure out how to get this information to Spider Man...

The next morning, you dragged yourself out of bed at your 4:00 alarm clock. You had forgot to turn it off, after your last discovery, but now you were awake, and it was always a pain in the butt for you to go back to sleep. So you decided to still go outside and collect more samples, it couldn’t hurt, and you could compare them with your new formula.

After you had collected enough you headed back, and started to compare them. The results shocked you. These new strands you collected were your updated formula. The new strands were just as strong and consisted of the new element you added to yours. Some how Spider Man was using your new formula without you even telling him. How?!

You pondered the question for the rest of the day, until lunch that is. That’s when you decided to confront Peter. He was the only one to know the formula besides you. As you were entering the classroom, you saw that he was hard at work at his lab station. He was so focused that he didn’t see you walk in, and had his tongue sticking out a little in his concentration. You walked from behind him, and saw what he was working on. Webs. He was working on webs. Peering at his own notebook, you saw it full of formulas, and sketches, and side notes, all in different colors. You even saw a little drawing of some web shooting contraptions, and at the bottom of the page you saw your formula.

That’s when it all clicked together. Peter was Spider Man, and Spider Man was Peter, “Oh my God!, You’re... You’re-”

Peter turned around suddenly, eyes wide with fear, “What?! No, I’m not... I’m not...” You cut him off as well when you suddenly stepped forward and hugged him. Squeezing him tight, a single tear leaked from your eye.

“Thank you so much Peter. You, you saved me...” Peter relaxed and started to hug you back, pulling you closer by wrapping his arms around you. “Anytime, Y/N”

You pulled away, wiping the tear away, laughing. “Um, Y/N, you won’t tell anyone right?”

You giggled, “Of course not, you’l just have to save my life again so I can repay the favor”

He pulled you against him, hugging you again. You felt his body shake with laughter. “Happily!”

Here’s another entry for the Best Fluff Category @parkerscupcake

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter x reader #mcu #marvel #marvel imagine #avengers #avenger x reader #tom holland #tom holland x reader #asks

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raccoonsinqueen · 8 years ago

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<3 Confessions <3

Feeling fluffy rn

-Sans-

“What’s the deal?” You laughed as you followed your close, skeletal pal up the grassy hill. Sans hadn’t let go of your hand once, even though he was holding a telescope in his hand.

“what?” Sans grinned towards you, turning back lazily for just a second. “wondering where the hill i’m taking you?”

You snorted. His jokes were dumb, and you didn’t know why they made you laugh everytime. “Yes, actually.”

“don’t trust me?”

“Hard to trust someone who doesn’t have a brain.” You teased, tugging his hand back and leaving him to crash against your chest. You playfully pocked at his chest. “Or a heart.”

The most curious blue flushed across his cheek bones. He seemed to do that a lot around you, so you figured it must be a skeleton thing.

“h-haha, yeah...” No witty quip? He must have alot on his mind...

Sans led you along, occasionally inserting a pun or two, which you would laugh for, until you finally made it to the top of the hill.

“alright, here we are.” Sans stopped setting his telescope down.

You looked at the view and hummed, “It’s nice up here.”

“nice will be an understatement in just a second, kid.” Sans winked at you before coming up behind you and covering your eyes. “here, give it a second.”

You chuckled, “What’s this all about?”

“i may not have a heart or a brain, but you can trust me on this one, kid.”

“Will this trust involve your sweaty hands on my eyes for five minutes?”

“er...” You could practically feel him getting warmer. “i-it won’t be too much longer, kid.”

You laughed, “I’m only teasing, Sans! You know I don’t mind your company!”

For some reason, he only got warmer at that. “right...”

Finally, after some comfortable silence, Sans spoke up.

“alright, here you go.”

As soon as his hands left your eyes, you looked up and felt your soul fill with child-like wonder. It was beautiful, the sky was filled with stars. You had never seen the sky so clear, especially being so close to the city. It was like an array of dark blues and purples of every shade with scattered freckles of white starlight. It was beautiful.

“It’s... Amazing.” You said, almost breathless.

You hadn’t even noticed, but Sans was staring at you with that same wonder. “stars, i love you.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

You turned to face him, and Sans went bright blue. “uh, i-i was talking to the stars! the stars! i love ‘em, good ‘ol flaming balls of gas and whatnot...”

“Yes,” You turned back to the sky. “It’s beyond gorgeous. Sans. Thank you.”

“of course...” Sans sat down, quietly. “...i’m glad you like it.”

-Papyrus-

"I LOVE YOU!”

You blinked.

“Uhm...” You looked at your hands, which were currently being held captive by the seven-foot-tall skeleton on his knees as he gazed into your eyes with a bright orange glow across his cheekbones.

“I LOVE YOU WITH THE BURNING ROMANCE OF A THOUSAND LOVERS!!” He leaned closer to you, causing you to lean back.

“You, uh...” You looked around. No wonder there were rose petals scattered literally everywhere. When he invited you to “THE MOST AMAZING AND ROMANTIC DINNER OF YOUR LIFE”, you thought he meant ‘romantic’ as in ‘fantasy-filled’ not ‘actually romantic’. Sometimes he just talks like that, with his fancy words and strange double meetings. Yet, there you are, three bites into his ‘LOVE-SPAGHETTI’ and he’s confessing to you. You wondered if all these candles were a fire hazard... “... Love me?”

“YES! WITH UNRIVALED PASSION!!”

“P-Papyrus-”

“YOU’RE AMAZING! ALMOST AS AMAZING AS ME!” He cried, “YOU’RE KIND AND CREATIVE AND YOU LIKE MY SPAGHETTI AND YOUR SUPER PRETTY AND YOU PLAY WITH MY PUZZLES AND YOUR SMART AND YOUR CLEVER AND I LOVE YOU-”

“Papyrus!” You almost squeaked out, “We’ve known eachother for barely a week!”

He shook his head. “I DON’T CARE! MY LOVE FOR YOU AND YOUR SUPER SEXY HIPS IS UNDETERABLE!”

“Hoh, boi.” You took your hand to rub your temples. At least he was cute... “Look, Papyrus, you can’t just, uhm, proclaim your love for someone after only a week of knowing them.”

“BUT I HAVE!” Papyrus smiled too bright for this world. “AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN! I LOVE YO-!”

You put your hands over his teeth, “Papyrus, please!”

“OKAY, I’LL STOP...”

You exhaled.

“...IF YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME!”

You groaned, looking at the starry-eyed skeleton in front of you. One date wouldn’t be too bad, if he could stop it with all the ‘love’ talk. “One date, Papyrus. One. And that’s it.”

Papyrus stood with confidence and conviction, “THAT’S ALL I NEED TO HAVE YOU FALL FOR ME, TOO!”

-Orange (Underswap Papyrus)-

“Honey, do you want any popcorn?” You called back from in the kitchen.

You heard Papyrus’ faint voice from the living room, “yeah.”

“I didn’t hear a please in that.” You called back.

“because i didn’t give one.”

Snarky jerk. “Fine! No popcorn for you, Honey!” You said, smirking. You pulled out the popcorn when the timer beeped and poured it in a bowl, before making your way into the living room.

“what’s poppin’, kid.” Orange replied with a lazy smirk.

“Nothing for you, Honey.” You replied, a small grin on your face. You saw him twitch ever so slightly. You knew he hated that nickname, and that’s why you used it.

“aw, pouting again?” That received an angry glare from you, which only made him laugh. “come on, kid, learn to share.”

“No.” You said, plopping down on the opposite end of the couch. “Now turn on the movie, I want to see some murder clowns.”

“sure thing, but you know what goes really good with popcorn?” Orange leaned towards you, which made you quirk a brow.

“What?” You eyed him suspiciously.

And before you could make any protests, you suddenly saw him dumping his entire bottle of honey on your lovely popcorn bowl. “a little honey.”

You shoved the popcorn bowl toward him in a fit and fumed, “You jerk! I made that for me!”

Papyrus laughed loudly, “heheh! don’t knock it ‘til you try it, kid!”

“You ruined it! You-! You stupid-! Stop staring at me like that!”

“i can’t help it.” He mused, chuckling only slightly. “you’re so cute.”

Your face flushed a bright red, “Don’t say things like that!”

“like what? like...” Suddenly, Papyrus was too close for comfort. “i love you.”

You shoved his face away from you, “Yes! Like that! Ugh, your teasing is insufferable!”

Was... Was that a bright orange dusted across his cheeks? No, no you must have been imagining things. “right... well, let’s get this movie started, shall we?”

-Blue (Underswap Sans)-

“Y/N!”

You turned around to see your adorable and bubbly, skeletal friend bounding towards you.

“Blueberry,” You smiled as he finally caught up to you. “Where did you come from?”

Sans took a moment to catch his breath, before jumping back up with blue stars in his eye sockets. “I FOLLOWED YOU DOWN THE STREET!”

“Uhm.”

“I KNOW YOU ALWAYS GET OFF OF WORK AT FIVE SHARP, AND I KNOW YOU LIKE TO TAKE YOUR TIME AND PASS BY THE MARKET ON YOUR WAY HOME, SO IT WAS A SIMPLE MATTER OF DETECTIVE WORK!”

You giggled softly. What a funny guy. “Truly amazing, Blueberry. You never cease to amaze me.”

Sans flushed a bright cyan, “MWEHEHE!”

“Well, while your here, can I buy you a crepe?” You smiled. “Something to reward the great detective?”

His eye lights went from stars to hearts in mere seconds. He must truly love crepes. “R-REWARD?”

You giggled again, “Of course! Blueberry flavor for my favorite Blueberry, right?”

“HNNNNNNGH!” He whined, squirming ever so slightly.

“Oh, dear!” You lifted his chin to feel his forehead, he was a burning blue! “Are you feeling alright? You’re so warm to the touch, sweetie!”

Sans melted into your touch, an almost goofy grin accompanying his heart-filled eyes. “Y-Y/N!”

“Sans, you’re taking care of yourself aren’t you?” You worried, “I don’t know what I’d do if you fell ill... I’d be worried sick!”

“I LOVE YOU!!”

You stopped.

Suddenly, Sans realized the words that just fell out of his mouth.

“You-?”

“UHM! I MEAN! I! UH!” Suddenly, Sans was running down the street, “GOTTA GO!!”

“...What?”

-Red (Underfell Sans)-

You downed yet another drink and laughed. “Fine, it’s true! I unironically like anime, but can you blame me?”

“haha! yes! i can!” Sans rumbled with laughter as he chugged his own shot. “stars, you’re such an idiot!”

“Says the loser who thinks wearing all black is cool!”

“hey, you take that back!” Sans rumbled, trying to poke at you but too drunk to actually land any hits. “black is cool, it makes me look edgy!”

“Hahaha! Do you hear yourself?” You poured some more of that sweet brown liquid in your glass, only missing slightly. “Edgy? Okay, Emo-Kid-2000!”

“your suuuuuuuuch a bi-”

“Okay, you’ve had enough!” You laughed, swiping the bottle he was currently trying to drink from him.

“oh, you stiff!” He slurred. “your a hypocritical stiff!”

“And you’re a drunk idiot!”

“so are ya!”

“Well, you got me there, emo kid.” You took a swig from the bottle and laughed.

Sans leaned on the counter and stared at you in awe. “stars, i love you.”

“Haha, what?” What was this all about?

“your sooooooo pretty.” He started drooling. “i wanna make you mine alllll night loooong.”

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever, perv.”

“no no no no not just like that,” He drawled on. “i wanna bang ya, but i also wanna kiss ya, you know what i mean?”

“Uhm?”

“stars, i wanna kiss you so bad...” He leaned closer to you. “i wanna lean into you, and see you, and be with you, and to love you soooooo cloooose. i want you to love me as much as i love you.”

“S-Sans...” You could feel the blush across your face.

“i love y-” And then he threw up next to you.

-Black (Underfell Papyrus)-

You were sleeping on the couch when you heard it. The soft sound of the door closing. You rubbed your eyes and sat up. Was he home already?

You looked toward the door, only seeing a vague silhouette.

“Papyrus?”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING.”

“I was waiting for you.” You yawned. “You always get home so late so I... !!”

“GO BACK TO BED.”

“Papyrus!” You pushed the blanket off of you and rushed to his side, “You’re covered in blood! Are you alright, you didn’t-!”

He grabbed your wrist harshly and hissed, “I’M FINE.”

You were almost startled by his sharp reaction, but you knew him too well to let him scare you off. “No. You’re not.” You used this as an opportunity to grab his own wrist and drag him to the kitchen.

He recoiled, trying to pull his wrist back, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

You turned to him roughly and poked a finger at his chest, “I’m helping you out, you ungrateful idiot!”

Papyrus reeled back, incredibly offended, “I’M NOT-!!”

“Now shut your mouth, and accept someone’s kindness for once, or so help me!”

He finally closed his mouth, only letting out a few grumblings in response.

You set him down on the kitchen table and grabbed a damp washcloth as you began wiping away the stains on his bones and armor.

“YOU...” You saw a faint glow on his cheekbones, “YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS.”

“And you don’t have to get in fights when I’m not around!” You huffed. “Honestly, I wish you wouldn’t, Papyrus! I don’t like you hurting others, and I... I don’t know what I’d do if you came home seriously hurt!”

“...”

He didn’t reply for a while, as you took your time cleaning his wounds. It seems... there was a lot more blood from whoever he was fighting...

“YOU WAITED FOR ME.”

“Of course, I waited for you.” You shook your previous thought away.

“WHY?”

“Because I worry for you.” You huffed.

“. . . Iloveyou. . .”

“What did you say?” You tilted your head.

“I SAID OLIVE JUICE.”

“...What?”

(Shorter ones for these guys)

-Yellow (Echotale G Sans)-

“Wait, what did you say?” You turned toward your bad boy of a friend.

“I said I love you.” G Sans said, nonchalantly as he lit a cigarette.

“... You’re not serious, are you?”

“I am.”

“Oh...” You didn’t know how to respond. He was so... casual?

“Well?”

“Well, what?” You asked.

“Usually, people say something other than “oh” after someone tells them those three little words.”

“What do you want me to say?”

His eye lights grew a ominous yellow, almost in an eery way if you hadn’t known G Sans for so long. His eye lights scrolled over to you, his unreadable expression unchanging, “You know the answer to that.”

-Green (Echotale G Papyrus)-

“Er, uhm, I don’t...” G Papyrus cleared his throat, nervously. “I don’t usually, uh...”

“Oh, G, are you alright?” You put a hand on his shoulder, but that seemed to have the opposite of the intended effect. “Why are you so nervous?”

G Papyrus raked a hand across his scroll, as if trying to clear his head, “S-Sorry! I’m not used to, well...”

“Hey.” You made a point to show him your most comforting smile. “It’s okay. Just relax. I’m your friend.”

“Right... That might actually just be...” With another clear of his throat, G Papyrus straightened his back, and said with the greenest face, “Y/n!”

“Uhm, yes?”

“I! I love you!”

“...”

“Wait, what?!” You recoil.

-Purple (Swapfell Papyrus)-

You were just cooking dinner as you always do, when you suddenly felt two familiar arms encase you completely from behind you, prohibiting you from finishing dinner.

“Wha-?”

“shut up.” Whoa. His voice was dark. What was he-? “don’t say anything. don’t move anything. don’t think anything. don’t. do. anything.”

You went completely still. He just stood there like that, his skull in the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped around your body, squeezing you too tight for comfort.

Just as you were about to say something (which may or may not result in some serious injuries), you heard something just below a whisper in your ear.

“i love you.”

And just like that, he let go of you, and you sucked in a breath you didn’t know you needed. When you turned around, he was gone, and you were left alone to your thoughts and a slowly burning dinner.

-Indigo (Swapfell Sans)-

“HUMAN!!”

“Raspberry.” You replied, coyly.

Sans rolled his eye lights, before he continued, “I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED... TO SAY YES!”

“Yes?” You tilted your head, “To what?”

“TO YOU THROWING YOURSELF AT ME EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY!” Sans put his hands on his hips, “SO, FINE! YOU’VE FORCED ME TO ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSITION!”

“Oh, don’t worry, Raspberry.” You smiled, “I'm not trying to date you.”

“LIES! IMPOSSIBLE!” Sans jabbed at you, “IT CAN BE THE ONLY EXPLANATION!”

“The explanation for what?”

“FOR WHY I LOVE YOU!”

“...”

“You...” You blinked. “You love me?”

Sans looked like a dear in the headlights, and you finally noticed the bright magenta color he was beaming. “THIS! THIS WAS A MISTAKE!!”

“Wait, Sans!” But he was already running away... Wait, did he not realize that was the opposite direction of his house? Looks like you’d be seeing him sooner than expected.

#undertale #underswap #undefell #swapfell #echotale #sans #papyrus #skelebros #raccoon with a pen

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