#easy 1 up
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wasabi-gumdrop · 1 year ago
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local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6
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inkskinned · 21 hours ago
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i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.
it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.
at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.
even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.
when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.
the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.
you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?
and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?
and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."
how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.
i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.
i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?
#spilled ink#warm up#tbh more of a diary than a poem#i need to write this stuff down bc my ptsd likes to forget trauma pretty much WHILE it's happening#and any time i find myself making it ''my fault'' again i have to walk myself through the grounding steps#it's so hard to describe emotional abuse. bc it's so fucking easy to get sucked into#like. you're an empathetic person. so when ur partner comes to you after a nasty fight and is like#“i really was trying to get my feelings heard and you didn't hear me last night” you're like - okay you know what#i'll do the right thing. this is my fault. let me take accountability and try to empathize and talk things out.#with the assumption that later - it'll be ''your turn'' right. you'll be able to bring up the screaming and talk about how#you BOTH need to make a safe space for each other. that you can't listen if your partner is literally shouting at you.#since YOU reflect and grow and try to be a better partner. you assume SHE will be doing the same thing.#but it is never your turn. she will never bring up the screaming. you cannot tell if she LEGIT just doesn't feel culpable.#and when u bring it up. she says ''so i deserved you talking to me badly? <- this doesn't go well.#she says you're blaming her. she doesn't understand that arguments are ''two sides and the truth''. it's that 1 person is right and 1 isn't#so u try to talk it out. get both perspectives heard. but over time it just becomes easier to let her get her rant out and shut up about u#until one day you wake up and despite months of treating you terribly - and admitting it 3 weeks ago!!! - she's now saying...#you were always terrible . you were always the issue. she never got her feelings heard.#meanwhile you remember literally MONTHS of supporting her and listening to her and silencing yourself.#and bc she TRAINED you to accept fault ... you just say sorry. you feel insane. you feel incredibly unhinged.#meanwhile. i fully am the kind of person that will reflect. come back after a fight. apologize before you ask. say things like#“i see your side now and i was wrong about this/that/the other thing.” ...... this is EMOTIONAL MATURITY.#she literally started calling it ''mindgames'' and ''flip flopping." ........#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#<- girl who def was emotionally abused but also doesn't really understand that yet#anyway love u get OUT OF THERE IF YOU RELATE BYE!!!!
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sunflowermp4 · 3 months ago
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victoria javadi as a 20 year old MS3 in the thirteenth hour on your first day of work during a MSI improvising a chest tube with an ET tube and a urine bag in front of your mom AND your crush you will always be famous
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leqclerc · 4 months ago
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Charles Leclerc in Formula 1: Drive to Survive, Season 7 (2025)
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mamawasatesttube · 8 months ago
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the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,
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08-47 · 5 months ago
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it shall be cuboided soon
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spindle-girl · 8 months ago
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Crazy to me that Armsmaster built specific counters to a group of 5 teenagers in less than a month during which the city was being bombed by an entirely different group of villains and has two more worse groups as well. Priorities man
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arttsuka · 18 days ago
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would it be hard to draw phinease and ferb as platypuses? (not a drawing request, just a logistics question)
I mean, kinda? Keeping their unique shapes is a challenge, especially for Ferb (his nose). But it's not impossible.
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gilles-prost · 3 months ago
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This photo just this
Idk why im going insane over it
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shima-draws · 8 days ago
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God I fucking love Pokemon Black and White (2010)
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Murph rolls two nat 20s in the first episode and comes up with what I'm calling now as the funniest bit of the season. I'm so fucking ready for this shit
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blueskittlesart · 22 days ago
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is detcon actually good
no <3 hope this helps
#listen. in order to enjoy detective conan you need to either be#1. obsessed with a very specific very japanese brand of detective drama and an equally specific equally japanese brand of slowburn romance#OR 2. a clinically insane fujoshi willing to overlook half-brother incest.#i have an actual literal chart in order to keep track of the character relationships at this point#and i havent even read the manga in a while so im sure its worse now#like half of the cases are either realistically impossible to solve or so fundamentally ridiculous it makes you insane#and another 20% are completely unitelligible to an english audience#because they rely on either codes based on the japanese language or some niche aspect of japanese culture or folklore#that would take several hours of research to fully understand. i know this from experience.#at least one CANONICAL couple are cousins#and it does that shounen manga thing where the author cant lose their steady income stream#so the story is prolonged through increasingly insane and convoluted plot points that only just barely feel coherent.#despite the fact that it's been going for like 30 years now the characters will literally never change or experience growth of any kind#shinichi kudo is an in-universe genius who has been trying and failing to make the same easy decision for THIRTY REAL LIFE YEARS.#i remember when he and ran FINALLY got together. which if i remember correctly was in literally the thousandth chapter#i was completely convinced up until the end of the arc that it was some sort of fakeout#because it is literally the only example in the entire series of those two changing the narrative significantly through their actions#I actually stopped my most recent reread because a major plot twist made so little sense it made me legitimately angry#all that being said. i am the kind of person who enjoys japanese detective dramas and slowburn romance#occasionally the comedy is REALLY good in a ridiculous sort of way#and if you can get yourself to fully buy into the absolutely insane framing circumstances a lot of the major overarching plot is good#but you just. you really have to overlook A LOT to get there. im not sure if i could do it if i hadn't seen the first few seasons as a kid#unfortunately i imprinted on shinichi kudo at a very young age. so. here we are#asks
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pa-pa-plasma · 8 months ago
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I know the concept of more supernatural/paranormal elements is cool but it will never stop being funny to me that in every series ever, when a ghost shows up the main characters have to do rituals & research the history of the haunted item or house or even whole town & use specific items like salt & incense & talisman to banish the ghost all dramatically & supernaturally, but in Danny Phantom this kid just shows up with nothing but his fists, a thermos, & pent up aggression. put em the fuck UP, you ectoplasmic son of a—
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thefirstflowers · 8 months ago
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don't you just love comparing the way oliver talks about buddie and the way he talks about bucktommy?
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🙈 vs 🤨🧐
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true connection vs unhelpful
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being open and vs learning
sharing things uncomfortable truths
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longing vs easy
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tomatoart · 1 year ago
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me if drawing inconsistently was a job 💸💰
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fauville · 4 months ago
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inspired by some posts i've seen floating around: who would your detective romance if they couldn't romance their current love interest? 👀
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