#enchanted soap
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#business#homemade soap#homemade#witch soap#enchanted soap#sugar scrub#diy sugar scrub#diy soap#whipped body butter#whipped soap#whipped body soap#whipped body polish#beautiful skin
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🧼🩷
#cod#call of duty#john soap mactavish#my art#I know I already drew soap in a pink shirt before#but I needed to do it again goddamnit !!#his large bod continues to enchant me 🥰
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Enchanting Magic Soap
This is part of an ongoing series about everyday enchantments. These aren't big, overwhelming spells; they are small things you can do when you have a bit of time and energy that can help you with your magical goals in the long run.
This is what I like to call Augmentation Magic. For example, I might enchant some magic soap as part of a bigger spell so that I can return to the spell (and further its effectiveness) each time I wash myself with it.
All you need to enchant a bar of soap is a brand new bar of soap. Easy, right?
We will start with the basics: enchanting your soap to enhance its natural cleansing properties.
As mentioned above, you can use any soap bar to do this because soap is ALREADY cleaning. You can further enhance this enchantment by using a bar of soap made with scents or natural plant material with additional cleansing properties. This includes pine, citrus, rosemary, lemongrass, lavender, charcoal, and many other natural ingredients often put into soaps (especially natural soaps you can buy at the crunchy hippy store).
But, all you need is a bar of soap. Ivory will do just fine.
Sit down and get to know your bar of soap. Using clean, dry hands, touch your soap. Smell it. Do whatever feels right to you to put your energy into the bar of soap.
Create or find a magical sigil for cleansing that matches the energy of your soap. Use your intuition here - if you don't make your own sigils, the rune Laguz (Elder Futhark rune for water) will work fine here. Carve your rune into your soap at least once on every side or as many times as feels right to you. As you do this, think about how you are enhancing the nature powers of cleaning in the soap by adding a sigil for cleansing
Charge your sigil with energy. This can be your own energy, this can be the energy or the sun or moon, this can the energy of a candle. Do what works well for you here. I like to charge my soap with a white candle annointed with cleansing oils and some of the plant type used in the making of the soap.
Extra: create a cleansing enchant to connect the sigil you have created. Something simple like "water, water, wash over me; troubles flow away and I am free."
When you wash yourself, make a point of think about your sigil and the action that your enchantment is taking - to cleanse your body and wash away what you don't want to bring with you down the drain until it is gone. Say your cleansing chant as you scrub your body with the soap. It is done.
Variations on a theme: because soap is naturally cleansing, there is very little work that needs to be done to enhance it further to make it a spell. You can use any bar of soap for this purpose.
If you wish to use soap to further an action that is more than cleansing (the natural state of soap), you will want to take more care in matching your soap to your intentions.
A very simple version of this would be to use a soap made with coffee grounds that is enchanted to help you wake up in the morning or perhaps to stay focused throughout your day. Here, you are using the principles of sympathy to match your soap to your intention: the more similar your soap is to your intention, the easier it is to craft this enchantment (and the less energy you will need to expend). You can use anything here: color magic, sigils, ingredients, etc. to make this connection.
Of course, you can buy many magical soaps that have some level of enchantment. I have found that most "magic soaps" on the market don't carry much innate magic, but they all tend to be made with authentic botanical and essential oils, which helps me (at least) spend less of my energy enchanting.
Of course, your experience may vary. (I'd love to hear about it—send me an Ask with stories of how you've used magic soap in your life!)
Further Reading: My Guide to Augmenting Your Magic
Do you like my work? You can tip me over on Ko-Fi.
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i think fantasy should stop being so reliant on orchestral arrangements i want fantasy that plays modern songs give me bran's first green dream where he sees the dreamers that have died before him and flies for the first time set to run boy run dammit
#not that they even gave us that fucking scene#valyrianscrolls#stuff should be more like a knight's tale. i want to see everyone chanting we will rock you at the tourney while sansa looks enchanted#getting on my soap box
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Hi hi! Do you remember if Emilie did a second craft on her segment of crafters coast to coast? I can find the faerie wings tutorial but I could have sworn she did something else too. Maybe melt and pour soap but I could be completely making that up?
youtube
It was sushi soap!
She also sold this soap on WTH for a while.
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This soap cleanses
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☆∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
please link back to my blog if redistributing across other platforms :)
#witch#witchcraft#witches#sigil#witchblr#sigils#sigilwork#sigil magic#witchy#witches on tumblr#witches of tumblr#tumblr witches#sigilcraft#witchywitchesshit#soap#witch community#enchantments
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Victoria's Secret Pearlized Soap in Enchanted Apple, Raspberry Glace and Freesia
1990s
Found on Ebay, user duggy1965
#victorias secret#vintage victorias secret#victorias secret soap#1990s victorias secret#1990s victorias secret soap#enchanted apple#raspberry glace#freesia#victorias secret freesia#victorias secret enchanted apple#victorias secret raspberry glace#1990s soap#1990s nostalgia#1990s memories#clean#1990s fragrances#1990s bar soap#victorias secret bar soap#apple#raspberry#apple soap#raspberry soap#cleancore#vintage cleancore#victorias secret pearlized soap#pearlized soap#pearl
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GOD THEYRE GORGEOUS


Blue eyed mfs staring into ur soul
#I love them#me absolutely feral for Johnny#price has stunning eyes#Johnny's are enchanting#johnny soap mactavish#captain john price#cod mwiii#cod mwii
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I always forget this wasn’t a thing everywhere but my high school had a fun and innovative way to torment us in PE. They got heart rate monitors. It was this awful strap that went under the bra line and paired to a watch. The first day was great cause we got to set our resting heart rate. We did this by laying in a dark room and napping.
But then once a week we’d have to strap on these monitors and go running. The monitors were old tech and didn’t always pick up your heartbeat, so you’d have to use cold water between it and your skin to get a better connection, gods know why. Warm water never worked. After the day our watches would be collected and our efforts recorded.
The idea was that if your heart beat too fast you were supposed to stop, and if it was too slow you’d speed up. In practice this was ridiculous, staying in the green zone all class was ridiculously difficult.
Even people like me who were stubbornly resistant to running the mile couldn’t stand the horrific constant beeping and made attempts to placate the reviled machine. It was always fairly miserable. I had PE first thing in the chilly morning, dashing cold water on my skin before running around half awake was the low point of my week.
But for some unknown reason, the teacher insisted that no play could happen on these days. We were given the freedom to run all over campus but woe betide us if we tried to make a game that actually made this enjoyable.
We’d initiate games of tag only to get yelled at for not just… running. Any kind of play was forbidden. On one memorable occasion someone got a kickball and we started an impromptu soccer game with it.
If someone’s heart rate got too high they’d drop to their knees to wait out the shrieking of their watch so an extra element was added to the game of trying to win without going too hard. I remember being absolutely delighted, the thrill of that game still lives in my heart, hoping I could score a goal before my heartbeat betrayed me to the hated watch.
When the PE teacher found us we were soundly scolded and the ball was confiscated. Our happiness burst like a soap bubble and we turned our back to the enchantment of the green field and resumed slogging along in a grey haze as expected.
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Although Karlach's experience as a soldier was Hell literally and figuratively, I feel like she'd be actually very comfortable around the whole 141 ensemble. She's used to this, to the brash barking voices, to the short, cut replies, to the discipline and fraternity of it all. Yes, being in Zariel's army was awful, but she managed to find friends even there. Now, when she's somewhat free from the slavery? It's even easier. Karlach's out there laughing her remaining horn off at Ghost's jokes and bantering with him like some others wouldn't dare, relying on Price for orders or at least some guidance (she also wouldn't mind a father figure in her life i think?), training with Gaz and absolutely marvelling at his smarts. And of course burning and blowing shit up with Soap. Maybe unintentionally.
Like, she can find common grounds with anyone better than others, but if these four men somehow end up in her party, they are her brothers immediately. She will probably understand the slang and signs to some extent too (I have not thought the whole crossover thing through so I dunno if that's just task force 141 being literally thrown into Faerûn as they are or they are in-universe, but I think there definitely will be an understanding anyway).
Lae'zel is there with them in these improvised barracks too, by the way, she might not think as highly of the four humans as Karlach does, but she definitely appreciates the discipline and readiness to get their hands dirty AND to listen to orders. Because tsk'va getting some of these k'chakhis to do anything is a headache.
#they are soldiers and it shows#literally turning camp into bootcamp#gale forced to run laps before he gets to eat an enchanted rifle idk#karlach is a bro at heart#karlach#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 karlach#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod#call of duty#karlach x soap#task force 141#simon ghost riley#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#ghost cod#price cod#gaz cod#lae'zel#bg3 lae'zel#banana leaves#no one gave banana
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“Rainforest leaves” single use hand soaps from Khaleesi’s enchantments
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Familiar, Not So Familiar || Lilia Vanrouge
You, a mage-in-training, attempt to summon a simple familiar—only to accidentally get yourself Lilia Vanrouge, a legendary fae with a penchant for chaos.
You have tried. You have tried so many times that the gods themselves must be watching your efforts like a soap opera, popcorn in hand, marveling at your persistence and misfortune.
Every spell you’ve ever learned? Perfect. Every potion you’ve ever brewed? Immaculate. Every single tedious little task required of an apprentice mage? Completed with at least passing competence.
And yet—this. This one, single, crucial spell has eluded you since the moment you first picked up a wand and thought, yes, let’s dedicate my life to this craft instead of something simple, like farming, or piracy, or a career in interpretive dance.
For years, you have watched your classmates perform their familiar rituals with ease. You have seen their little foxes, their wise owls, their unbearably smug salamanders perched on their shoulders like accessories in an enchanted fashion show. Oh, you don’t have a familiar yet? they’d say, voices dripping with polite condescension. That must be so hard! Magic must be so exhausting for you!
Yes. Yes, it is exhausting, Martha, you imbecile. Magic without a familiar is like trying to run a marathon uphill while being punched repeatedly in the stomach. It is like carrying a cauldron of molten lava with no gloves and being told, just don’t drop it! It is slowly killing you, and you are tired.
So tonight? Tonight is it. The line has been drawn. The candles have been lit. You have researched, you have practiced, you have painstakingly carved every single rune with the desperation of a student facing final exams with an empty study guide.
Either you summon your familiar, or you start looking into lucrative careers in something that requires zero magical ability. Candle-making. Tax fraud. Something.
You kneel before the summoning circle, hands clasped in pure, unfiltered desperation. Your voice is raw as you plead, as you offer up your dignity to the uncaring forces of the universe.
"Please," you whisper, nearly headbutting the floor. "Just this once. A cat. A dog. A single, semi-intelligent rat. Hell, a bat—bats are magical, right? I’ll take a bat. I’ll take a sentient pile of mold if it can cast at least one large spell without dying. Just something. Please, I am begging you."
The room is deathly silent.
And then—
A hum. A vibration in the air, as if reality itself is rethinking its choices.
The summoning circle does not glow—it erupts, an explosion of light so bright that your first instinct is to assume you have been smote for your insolence. The ground shudders. The candles flicker wildly. The sheer energy of the spell crackles through the air like the universe is taking a deep breath and laughing at you.
And then, through the haze, a silhouette.
Your first thought: That is not an animal.
Your second thought: That is not an animal, that is a person.
Your third thought: THAT IS A FAE.
Your fourth thought does not get to exist because your brain has blue screened.
The figure steps forward, hands clasped neatly behind his back, surveying the room with the air of someone who has just walked into an amusing play and finds himself the lead actor. He is floating, because of course he is. His wild hair is a chaotic mess of black and magenta, his sharp eyes twinkling with mirth, his very presence radiating power that should not, under any circumstances, be inside your living room.
Then he smiles, and you are abruptly hit with the horrifying realization that you know who he is.
The portraits. The stories. The absolute legend that is Lilia Vanrouge, former general, feared warrior, living relic of a bygone era, the kind of fae you read about in history books with the unspoken footnote of probably do not summon him.
And he is here.
And he is looking at you.
"Ah," he says, with all the delight of someone who has just stumbled upon something incredibly amusing. "How interesting."
You are frozen. Your body has stopped functioning. Your brain is actively trying to escape this situation by retreating into the astral plane.
Lilia tilts his head, observing your utter paralysis with great amusement, and then, with the flourish of a seasoned actor stepping onto the grandest stage of his life, he presses a hand to his chest and bows deeply.
"You have called," he proclaims, voice rich with dramatic flair, "and I have answered! For one year, I shall serve as your loyal familiar! May our contract be fruitful, our battles glorious, and our meals—" he pauses, grinning like a fox, "well, we shall see."
He straightens, clearly expecting some sort of response.
You do not move. You do not speak. You do not even blink.
Because you are still attempting to comprehend the fact that you have, against every possible law of magic, logic, and common sense, just summoned Lilia Vanrouge as your familiar.
The next morning, you awaken to the horrifying realization that last night was not, in fact, a fever dream.
Lilia Vanrouge is still here.
Floating.
In your kitchen.
Sipping tea.
With your mug.
You stand there, unblinking, as he lifts the cup in greeting, utterly unbothered by your complete mental breakdown. “Ah, you’re awake! Good morning, my dear summoner! Did you sleep well? Oh, never mind that, of course you didn’t—you must be so excited! Your first day with your new familiar!”
Your eye twitches. The existential dread is setting in. But there is no time to panic because you have class.
And now, for the first time in your absolutely miserable academic career, you have a familiar to bring with you.
Which would be a cause for celebration.
If your familiar was literally anyone else.
But no. No, you are marching through the academy halls with a floating, ancient fae war general drifting beside you, humming cheerfully, taking in his new surroundings like a tourist at a historical landmark.
Your classmates? Shitting bricks.
Your professors? Re-evaluating their life choices.
Your history professor? Actively vibrating in place. This is a man who has spent years studying Lilia Vanrouge, reconstructing battle strategies, debating historical inaccuracies, analyzing old texts to understand the mind of one of the most enigmatic figures in magical warfare. He looks at you, at Lilia, back at you, back at Lilia, and you swear to the gods above that this man is about two seconds away from weeping.
He wants an interview. He wants an entire dissertation. He wants to shake your hand for the sheer magnitude of this academic opportunity, and you are just standing there, barely holding onto your last scrap of sanity, because this is not a research opportunity, Professor, this is my life.
Meanwhile, Lilia is having a blast.
“Ohoho, what a delightful institution!” he muses, drifting through the halls, peering into classrooms, inspecting the architecture with a level of interest that should not belong to someone who predates half of these buildings. “Ah, look at that banner! I remember when these were in fashion—horrid little things, always got caught in the wind and smacked people in the face during duels. Ah! And look at these uniforms! What a quaint design! Oh, but that color… tragic choice, really, you should have seen the battle robes from my era. Those had flair!”
You press a hand to your face, inhaling deeply.
You are not going to survive this year.
But at the very least, you are about to have the first productive Offensive Magic class of your entire life.
For years, casting magic without a familiar has been hell. You’ve always struggled with large-scale spells, your body too weak to sustain the energy required. Your classmates have always had an advantage, their familiars supplying them with extra mana while you struggled to get anything stronger than a low-tier fireball.
But today?
Today, you have Lilia Vanrouge as a mana battery.
And you are about to find out exactly what that means.
The spell you’ve been struggling with for years—the one that has never worked properly, the one that has always left you half-conscious and questioning your life decisions—flows from your hands as easily as breathing. You don’t even have time to be excited because the moment the spell leaves your fingertips, the entire training ground erupts.
Not a small explosion.
Not a reasonable, manageable, academically acceptable explosion.
No.
You have just cratered the battlefield.
The shockwave sends everyone flying. The ground is smoking. There is a hole where the target dummies used to be. Somewhere in the distance, alarms are going off. Birds are screaming. Your professor is staring in mute horror at the absolute devastation before him.
And you?
You turn to Lilia, hands shaking, mouth opening and closing like a fish, because what the hell just happened.
Lilia, floating beside you, watches the destruction with the expression of a man who has just seen a slightly amusing street performance. He clasps his hands together, nodding approvingly.
“Well! Now that that’s done, why don’t we go find something fun to do?”
You are not going to survive the year.
It is supposed to be a quiet night.
Supposed to be.
You, a dedicated apprentice mage (read: overworked and underpaid student), have settled down with your magical theory book, prepared to suffer through the finer details of mana channeling. The lamp flickers softly, the air is calm, and for once in your chaotic existence, things feel peaceful.
Then, from the kitchen, you hear something.
Something that does not belong in the realm of mortals.
It begins with an unsettling hiss, followed by a squelching noise so visceral it sends a shudder down your spine. Then there’s a clank—something metal hitting the floor—then a thud, then another squelch. You are gripping your book so tightly that the pages crinkle.
And then—
A chainsaw.
You blink.
You tilt your head, straining your ears, waiting for your exhausted mind to correct you.
The chainsaw revs again.
There is a cackle—a delighted, mischievous giggle, unmistakably Lilia’s—followed by the sound of what can only be described as something wet hitting the walls.
You place your book down with the slow, measured movements of a person who has just realized that, against all odds, they are in mortal danger.
Before you can even get up, Lilia emerges from the kitchen, beaming, holding something that should not exist.
It is a plate of food.
You think.
At least, you assume that’s what it is. The thing on the plate is writhing slightly, like it’s trying to escape, its color shifting between shades of green that have never been found in nature. It looks less like a meal and more like something that should have been sealed away in a forbidden vault centuries ago. You are pretty sure it just twitched.
Lilia, looking pleased with himself, holds the plate out to you like a proud parent. “Here you go! A little something I whipped up! A good meal is essential for a strong mage!”
You stare at him. You stare at the food. You stare at him again. Then back at the food, as if hoping that, upon a second glance, it will suddenly become normal. It does not. It continues to vibrate menacingly.
You inhale slowly. You pray to the gods—the ones who have clearly abandoned you—and take a bite.
And then—
You almost meet them.
Your soul briefly leaves your body. Your ancestors appear before you, shaking their heads in deep disappointment. The concept of life and death ceases to have meaning. Time itself slows to a crawl as your taste buds experience a level of suffering once reserved only for cursed spirits.
You slam the fork down, forcing a smile that looks more like a pained grimace. “I—uh—actually, I’m not really that hungry right now!”
Lilia blinks, tilting his head. “Oh? But you just took a bite—”
You cut him off, nodding so quickly it could give you whiplash. “Nope! Super full! Wow, so full. Stuffed, actually. I definitely can’t eat another bite!”
Lilia frowns, looking genuinely disappointed, and for a brief, insane moment, you almost consider eating more.
Then the food on the plate shudders again.
And you decide that no matter how cute Lilia Vanrouge is, you simply cannot abide.
Later that night, you are once again seated at your desk, trying to get through your magical theory reading, when Lilia appears at your side.
For a brief moment, fear seizes you—until you see what he’s holding.
A cup of warm milk.
Just milk.
You stare at it, half-expecting it to start glowing or whispering in an ancient, cursed tongue. But no, it’s just milk. Safe. Harmless. Normal.
You accept it with more gratitude than you’ve ever felt in your life. “Thank you.”
Lilia settles in beside you, watching as you study, occasionally making little jokes, pointing out errors in your book’s outdated magical theories, offering insights that no historian could ever dream of. The conversation flows easily, his voice a constant, comforting presence, a bridge between history and now, between chaos and something softer.
And as you sit there, sipping your drink, listening to Lilia hum an old tune while offering you obscure magical trivia, you think—
Yeah.
Maybe he really is the best familiar you could have summoned.
Lilia does not like your magical theory professor.
At least, you think he doesn’t.
He’s always cheerful—borderline impossible to ruffle—but the moment you step into that class, something shifts. His usual smile dims, his eyes narrow ever so slightly, and his arms stay folded across his chest like a particularly judgmental gargoyle. It’s subtle—so subtle that if you weren’t stuck with him 24/7 (as your familiar, and definitely not because you enjoy his company), you might not have noticed.
But you have noticed. And it’s weird.
Even weirder? Every time you ask him about it, he gives you the most convincing performance of utter cluelessness you have ever witnessed. The first time, he even tilted his head, widened his eyes, and said, “Me? Dislike someone? Oh, dear apprentice, you wound me!” in the most theatrical, exaggerated manner possible.
And the thing about Lilia is, if he doesn’t want to talk about something, there is no force in the universe that can make him.
You gave up after the third attempt. If it was major, he’d tell you.
…Right?
Today, your professor smiles as she hands you a new assignment: a magic circle for you to analyze.
“You should be able to cast this with your familiar’s assistance,” she says, smiling in that teacher who’s about to ruin your life way.
You glance at the intricate diagram, tilting your head. “What’s it for?”
“Oh, it’s just illusion magic,” she assures you breezily.
And before you can say anything else, Lilia moves.
One moment, he’s standing behind you, silent as a shadow. The next, he’s in front of you, plucking the book from your hands with the effortless grace of someone who has definitely stolen things before.
His gaze sharpens as he scans the magic circle, his usual playful demeanor gone. His fingers tighten slightly on the book’s spine. Then, without hesitation, he snaps it shut and hands it right back to your professor.
“No.”
Your professor blinks, looking caught between offense and confusion. “Pardon?”
Lilia’s voice remains pleasant—but it is the kind of pleasant that makes your survival instincts scream. “I said no. My dear apprentice will not be casting this.”
The professor balks. “Excuse me, but I gave them an assignment. You contain your familiar—”
You raise your hands in exasperation. “Lady, are you kidding? This is a war general. You think I can just ‘contain’ him? You contain him.”
Your professor looks like she wants to argue. Lilia, meanwhile, tilts his head at her with the serene patience of a man watching a squirrel try to pick a fight with a dragon.
Then, he smiles.
It is not his usual mischievous grin. It is a deliberate, pointed smile.
“Why don’t you cast it first?” he asks, tone deceptively light.
Your professor stiffens. “That’s unnecessary, I already—”
Lilia’s eyes gleam. “Go on, then. Just illusion magic, isn’t it?”
The tension in the room spikes. Your professor, who has just spent the past five minutes acting like the spell is no big deal, suddenly looks very nervous.
“Oh, well,” she flounders, “I—it’s meant for—um—student practice—”
“Ah,” Lilia hums, nodding sagely. “So you’d assign a spell you wouldn’t cast yourself to my dear apprentice? How interesting.”
Your professor’s expression freezes.
And that’s when you realize something.
Lilia knew.
He knew the moment he saw the circle that something was off. He recognized it. And whatever it was meant to do, it wasn’t just harmless illusion magic.
Your professor coughs, clearly scrambling for a way out. Lilia waits, ever-patient, eyes half-lidded like a cat watching a cornered mouse.
Then, before she can say anything else, he turns to you. “We’re leaving.”
And you do not argue.
Outside, Lilia floats beside you, humming a little tune. You don’t say anything for a while, still processing.
Finally, you sigh. “You’re not gonna tell me what that spell actually was, are you?”
Lilia’s grin returns, bright and playful. “Who’s to say~?”
You groan. “Lilia.”
He chuckles, reaching out to pat your head in a way that is both condescending and annoyingly affectionate. “Let’s just say I’d rather not have to un-curse you anytime soon, hmm?”
Your stomach sinks slightly. You glance back toward the classroom building, frowning. Your professor has never pulled something like that before. But before you can dwell on it too much, Lilia floats closer, arms crossed.
“Promise me something,” he says, tone suddenly softer.
You blink up at him. “What?”
“Run your spells by me before casting them.” His smile doesn’t falter, but there’s something firm—unshakable—beneath the usual playfulness.
Your first instinct is to argue. To say you know what you’re doing. That you’re a capable mage. But then you think about how fast he moved. How easily he spotted the issue. How your professor, faced with his simple challenge, folded like wet parchment.
“…Okay,” you say.
His smile widens, but this time, it’s warm. “Good.”
And then, just like that, he’s back to his usual self, floating ahead, dramatically stretching as if he was the one who had to deal with a dangerous spell.
“Now that that’s settled,” he sighs, “why don’t set something on fire?”
You press a hand to your forehead.
At first, it was little things.
Your professors started assigning you slightly more advanced spells—reasonable enough, considering your mana pool had technically expanded (read: you accidentally summoned an ancient fae war general as your familiar). You could handle it. You were handling it.
But then it got worse.
Much worse.
It started with offensive spells. The usual: fireballs, lightning strikes, the occasional tornado. And then, gradually, the assignments escalated into city-leveling disasters.
One moment, you were casting a moderately powerful explosion spell. The next, you were being instructed to conjure something called the Wrath of the Abyss—which, from the name alone, sounded like it had no business being taught in a school.
Lilia, floating serenely beside you, casually flicked his fingers, erasing the spell from your assignment scroll. “No,” he said.
You didn’t argue.
The final straw came when you were assigned a spell so ridiculously strong that had Lilia not interfered, you’re pretty sure you would’ve smited an entire town off the map.
That night, exhausted and frustrated, you marched to the headmaster’s office to finally have a conversation about this.
And that’s when you heard it.
Muffled voices.
The headmaster and your professors—all of them—discussing how to weaponize your newly expanded mana pool. How to push you further, how to ensure you could be controlled—with force, if necessary.
You stood there for a long moment, processing.
Then you turned on your heel, went back to your dorm, and drafted the most polite resignation letter you have ever written in your entire life.
By morning, you were gone.
Which brings you to now.
Laid out on the couch.
Bored.
Contemplating your life choices.
Lilia floats around the new house, inspecting it with the air of a man who has been evicted from kingdoms before and now finds the concept of moving vaguely amusing. Occasionally, he hums in approval. Once, he sticks his head into the kitchen and mutters, “I could work with this.” (You choose to ignore the implication.)
Eventually, he drifts over to the couch, settling next to you. He watches you for a moment, eyes softer than usual, before reaching out and gently patting your head.
“…I’m sorry,” he says quietly.
You blink, turning your head to look at him. “For what?”
He offers a small, almost wistful smile. “For everything. You wanted a small familiar. A cat, perhaps. A gentle companion to aid your studies. And instead… you got me.”
Something about the way he says it makes your heart squeeze.
You sit up, shaking your head. “That’s not your fault. It’s not your fault humans are garbage sometimes.” You snort. “Honestly, I should be the one apologizing to you. You got roped into this mess because of me.”
Lilia laughs softly. “Oh, please. This is hardly the worst summoning I’ve been part of.”
You roll your eyes but lean into him anyway, resting your head against his shoulder. “I mean it, though. I’m glad you were there to look out for me.” You exhale, closing your eyes. “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. You’re the best fit for me.”
There’s a pause.
Then, Lilia shifts slightly, tilting his head to look at you.
“…You know,” he murmurs, amusement creeping into his voice, “it almost sounds like you like me.”
You groan. “Lilia.”
He chuckles, clearly pleased with himself, and lets you rest against him, draping an arm over the back of the couch.
The TV plays some mindless reality show in the background—something ridiculous, the kind of show where two rich people argue over whose yacht is shinier. Lilia occasionally makes a quiet, offhand comment about the historical implications of their arguments, which, considering he’s been around long enough to have historical context for everything, is both fascinating and deeply concerning.
Still, as you sit there, comfortable and safe, a strange sort of peace settles over you.
Maybe this is okay, too.
Moping is unsustainable.
Yes, your dreams of becoming a renowned royal mage have withered and died like a houseplant you swore you watered (you didn’t). Yes, the academy tried to turn you into a walking magical war crime before you dropped out. And yes, you are technically in magical witness protection now.
But you refuse to let that get you down.
You are a problem solver. A forward-thinker. A survivor.
And what do survivors do? They pivot.
Thus begins your new life as the proud owner of Mystic Remedies, a charming little potion shop in a sleepy town where nobody knows—or cares—that you once accidentally summoned a literal fae war general as a familiar.
And surprisingly? Business is booming.
Apparently, people love magic when it’s used for normal things, like fixing bald spots or whitening teeth or getting rid of that one really stubborn pimple that refuses to die no matter how many times you pray to the gods. Your bestselling potions?
“The Shine of Youth” – Teeth Whitening Elixir
Results are instantaneous and blindingly effective (literally. One guy came back complaining his teeth were so white they were reflecting sunlight into his own eyes.)*
“Regrowth & Renewal” – Anti-Baldness Tonic
The town’s balding population has never been happier. One man sobbed openly in your shop after seeing his full head of hair for the first time in twenty years.
“Vanisher’s Touch” – Acne & Scar Removal Serum
One (1) drop and your skin becomes as smooth as a newborn’s. Side effects include strangers asking you for your entire skincare routine (which, obviously, you refuse to share because you are making BANK off of this).
And presiding over all of this?
Lilia Vanrouge.
Your fae general, immortal menace, questionably helpful familiar.
At first, you thought Lilia would just hang around for company. Maybe help with security. Offer sage wisdom. That kind of thing.
You were wrong.
Instead, he has taken it upon himself to be your business partner.
Which would be fine, except:
1. Lilia insists on being the shop greeter.
“Welcome, weary traveler!” he announces grandly every time someone enters, even if it’s just the lady from next door.
2.He also bows dramatically every time, which has led to multiple people thinking they’ve accidentally entered a royal court instead of a potion shop.
3. He makes up fake tragic backstories for your potions.
The baldness potion? “Crafted from the tears of a forgotten god who, himself, was once afflicted with hair loss.”
The teeth whitening elixir? “Distilled from the ancient wisdom of a radiant moonbeam, stolen by a trickster spirit under the cover of night.”
The anti-acne potion? “Forged in the fires of celestial vanity, when the first star envied the smoothness of the moon’s face.”
The customers eat it up. Business doubles because people now believe they’re purchasing legendary magical relics instead of DIY cosmetic solutions.
4. He takes “quality control” VERY seriously.
You once caught him drinking the hair regrowth tonic.
“Lilia,” you said. “You have hair. You have a lot of hair.”
He took a long, thoughtful sip, smacked his lips, and simply said, “Quality assurance.”
(The next day, his hair was so voluminous it looked like he had absorbed a lion. He seemed thrilled about this. You refused to comment.)
5. His idea of “helping” with potion-making is... distressing.
One time, you left him alone for five minutes.
When you came back, he had somehow produced a glowing purple substance that was hovering slightly above the table and making whale noises.
You didn’t even ask. You just threw the entire thing out.
Lilia disappears sometimes in the middle of the night. You’ll wake up, the room unnaturally quiet, and immediately know he’s gone. Not gone gone—he’s not that dramatic—but somewhere else, wrapped in thoughts you never quite get to see.
Tonight, the air is cool when you step outside, wrapping around you like a second skin. You don’t have to search long. He’s on the rooftop, perched with all the effortless grace of a creature who defies gravity. His eyes are locked onto the moon, silver light washing over his face, his usual impishness replaced with something… else.
You’ve seen Lilia in many states—mischievous, chaotic, wise, deeply concerning—but you’ve never seen him like this.
So, naturally, you make the entirely reasonable decision to scale the side of the house.
It is not a graceful process. There’s a lot of slipping, a lot of swearing, and at one point, you’re pretty sure you get stuck in a position that defies basic human anatomy. Lilia watches all of this unfold with what you know is barely suppressed laughter, but he doesn’t help.
Rude.
By the time you haul yourself onto the roof, panting like you’ve just wrestled a bear, Lilia looks at you like you’re the strange one here.
“…You could have used the stairs,” he points out.
You glare at him. “Yeah? Well, you could’ve not brooded on the roof like the protagonist of a tragic novel, but here we are.”
For a moment, you think he might tease you, but instead, something in his expression softens. Like he hadn’t expected you to come. Like the idea of being found was somehow surprising.
You settle beside him, deliberately sitting close enough that your arms brush. Lilia doesn’t say anything, just leans into you, his weight light but grounding.
“I’m grateful you left immediately when you did,” he murmurs, voice quiet in a way that makes you pause. “I wasn’t prepared to lose you.”
You don’t ask. You never have. Lilia carries centuries in his gaze, in the way he moves, in the weight of the things he doesn’t say. But this? This moment, this sliver of vulnerability? This is his truth, and you’ll never push him to unravel more than he wants to.
So you nod. You pull him closer. And you sit there, pressed together beneath the vast, endless sky, offering nothing but presence.
Because sometimes, companionship is enough.
Despite all of this—despite the dramatics, the chaos, the fact that you are pretty sure Lilia is making up 90% of his fae wisdom on the spot—your little potion shop thrives.
You get to help people. You get to live peacefully.
And best of all? You get to spend your days with someone who makes life interesting.
One evening, as you’re closing up, Lilia floats beside you, watching as you count today’s earnings.
“You’ve done well for yourself,” he says, tone oddly soft, absent of his usual teasing lilt.
You glance at him, raising a brow. “We have,” you correct, shoving the last of the gold into the till. “I’d be lost without you.”
He hums in amusement, resting his chin in his hand. “Flattery will get you everywhere, you know.”
You snort. “It’s not flattery if it’s true.”
There’s a pause.
Then, after a moment, he reaches over—ruffles your hair with genuine fondness.
You pretend to be annoyed, but you don’t move away.
(And later, as you sit together, sharing a cup of tea under the quiet glow of lantern light, you think—maybe this life? This ridiculous, unpredictable, strangely wonderful life? Maybe it’s not so bad, after all.)
The first time you created a potion for hair growth, you barely had time to marvel at your genius before Lilia grabbed the vial and downed it in one gulp. No hesitation. No patch test. Just the unwavering confidence of a man who believed you were capable of alchemy miracles despite your previous track record, which included but was not limited to:
Accidentally making a love potion so strong it made a squirrel propose to a tree.
Brewing an invisibility elixir that only made clothes disappear (awkward).
Concocting a sleeping draught that did, in fact, induce sleep—just exclusively in yourself.
So, really, this blind faith of his was either heartwarming or deeply concerning.
The effect was immediate. Lilia’s short, fluffy locks exploded outward in a dramatic cascade, flowing past his shoulders, his waist, and then pooling onto the floor in a heap of silky, midnight strands. He blinked at you from behind his newly acquired curtain of hair, looking entirely unbothered, while you sat there in stunned horror like an artist realizing they’d just painted the Mona Lisa using finger paints.
“Well,” he said cheerfully, lifting a section of his hair with mild curiosity. “At least I won’t have to buy a blanket anymore.”
You groaned, already reaching for the shears. “Sit down. I’m cutting it before you trip and break your immortal neck.”
Lilia plopped down in front of you, perfectly content as you gathered the thick locks in your hands, marveling at how soft they were. You ran your fingers through them, untangling strands, watching them catch the light like the finest silk. Somewhere in the middle of methodically snipping away, your hand brushed against the nape of his neck.
And Lilia—Lilia of the endless energy, mischievous smirks, and unpredictable chaos—tilted his head into your touch like a cat craving warmth. He let his cheek brush against your palm, the weight of him light but deliberate, and you felt something in your chest hiccup.
Oh no.
Nope. Absolutely not. You were not going to sit here and have an emotional epiphany over a haircut.
You cleared your throat and kept cutting, pretending you didn’t notice the way his eyes fluttered shut, how he sighed just the slightest bit when you raked your fingers through his hair again. You ignored the warmth curling in your stomach, the way your heart stuttered like a miscast spell.
This was fine. Just a normal, everyday occurrence. No significance whatsoever.
(You ignored the fact that, long after the potion’s effects had worn off, Lilia still asks you to fix his hair for him.)
It has been a year.
A whole year since you knelt in front of a summoning circle, begging the universe for a small, manageable familiar—a cat, a bat, anything reasonable—only for reality to spit in your face and drop a war general into your living room.
A year since Lilia Vanrouge, former general, ancient fae, and walking eldritch menace, declared himself your familiar with a dramatic flourish while you stood there questioning every single life decision that had led to that moment.
And now, it’s time to let him go.
You knew this day would come. You told yourself you wouldn’t get attached. He was never supposed to stay forever. He has actual, important, world-changing things to do, and you—what are you? A small-town potion seller with a thriving business in male pattern baldness reversal and anti-aging tonics. This is not a worthy occupation for a fae of his caliber.
So why does the thought of him leaving feel like your heart is about to crawl out of your chest, slap you in the face, and then dramatically expire in protest?
You’re an adult. You can handle this. You will handle this.
Night falls, and you set up the ritual.
The summoning contract that bound him to you for a year must now be undone. The process is simple: draw the circle, say the words, and Lilia will be free to return to whatever grand, fae-magic-drenched existence he had before meeting you.
Your hands shake as you carve the sigils into the ground. You tell yourself it’s just fatigue.
The circle is perfect. The words are ready. You steel yourself, take a deep breath, and—
SCRATCH.
You blink.
Your circle is ruined.
Because Lilia just dragged his foot through it like a toddler messing up a sandcastle.
“Whoops,” he says, tone entirely insincere.
You stare at the ruined circle. Then at him. Then at the deep, deliberate groove he just scraped through the sigils.
“…Did you just—”
“Oh dear,” Lilia sighs, not looking remotely sorry. “How clumsy of me.”
You narrow your eyes.
Fine. Fine. You can work with this. You redraw the circle, faster this time, heart pounding, trying not to think about how every stroke is another step toward the inevitable.
But as soon as you finish it, it vanishes.
You gape. “What the fu—”
Lilia, sitting lazily on your kitchen counter, swirls his wine glass and hums, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
You try again. And again.
Each time, something goes wrong.
The chalk disappears. The ink dries too fast. The lines curve into nonsense when you look away. Lilia, drinking his wine, watching you struggle, looking like a cat who just knocked over an entire shelf and is waiting for applause.
Then, finally, the last straw.
You painstakingly carve the circle one last time, standing up with triumphant determination—
And Lilia immediately spills his wine on it.
He gasps, eyes wide with the fakest, most dramatic shock you have ever seen. “Oh my. How unfortunate.”
You drop the chalk.
You inhale, slow and measured, like a parent about to scold a misbehaving child.
Then you turn to him.
“…Hey,” you say, voice trembling, not with sadness, but with the sheer, earth-shattering realization that this little fae menace is playing with you.
He takes another sip of wine, as if to fortify himself against the incoming confrontation.
“Do you,” you say, pointing at him, “not want to leave?”
Lilia smiles. That infuriatingly cryptic, all-knowing smile that he has given you exactly one thousand times over the past year.
He doesn’t answer.
And you are done.
You grab him by the collar, yanking his floating self down to your level, because no. Not this time.
“Say it.” Your heart is racing, your voice shaking. “Stop playing with my feelings and just say it.”
For the first time in a long time, Lilia looks genuinely surprised.
His bright red eyes flick over your face, searching, calculating.
Then, gently, effortlessly, he kisses you.
It’s soft. Unhurried. Like a promise instead of a confession.
When he pulls away, there’s no teasing, no smug amusement. Just quiet certainty as he murmurs, “I thought that was obvious, little mage.”
And you—
You think, yeah. This is perfect.
The day after the kiss is, by all accounts, completely normal.
Lilia is still Lilia—dramatic, whimsical, and absolutely insufferable in the best way possible. He flits around the shop like a particularly mischievous specter, rearranges your potions in ways that make absolutely no sense, and startles at least three customers by dropping upside down from the rafters like a bat with a caffeine addiction.
The only difference are the little changes in his proximity.
The way he brushes a little closer, his fingertips lingering on yours when he hands you a vial. The way he leans in when he speaks, voice a low murmur that sends shivers down your spine. The way his eyes—sharp, playful, knowing—linger just a second too long, like he’s drinking in every reaction.
Your regulars notice immediately.
“You two finally figured it out, huh?”
“About damn time.”
“Oh, we’ve been betting on this for months—Edgar, pay up.”
Even the old woman who only comes in for her arthritis tincture pats your cheek with grandmotherly approval, declaring, "He’s a little strange, but you always liked strays."
By the time you close up for the night, you’re warm with laughter, exhaustion, and the sheer reality of it. Of him. Of you.
And then there’s a weight on your back, light but unmistakable, arms winding around you as Lilia attaches himself like a particularly affectionate cloak.
“You still haven’t actually asked me to stay,” he hums, his chin resting on your shoulder. You can hear the grin in his voice, teasing and pleased.
You roll your eyes, exasperated and utterly, helplessly fond.
Then, without warning, you turn, grabbing his face in both hands and kissing him hard.
He makes a soft, surprised noise against your lips before immediately melting into it, responding with all the fervor of someone who has absolutely been waiting for this. His hands tighten on your waist, pulling you closer, and you swear you can feel him smiling into the kiss.
When you finally pull back, breathless and a little dazed, you meet his gaze and say, firm and sure,
“Stay.”
Lilia blinks, as if he wasn’t expecting you to actually say it. Then his lips curl into something unbearably soft, unbearably fond, and he whispers,
“Till the end of my life.”
Masterlist
#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge x reader#twst lilia#lilia x reader#lilia vanrouge#lilia twst#lilia x you#lilia#twisted wonderland lilia
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Y/n: Which one of you was gonna tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?
Gaz: You... You were putting it in cold water?
Y/n:.......
Soap: Y/n. Answer the question, Y/n.
Y/n: Well... yeah. I thought for, like, 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the “tea-ification” process. I didn't realize there was an actual reason. Besides, do you really think I have the patience to boil water?
Soap: Ye dinnae have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes?
Gaz: Wait, wait- why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?
Soap: Do ye think ah've got the patience to boil water on the stove?
Gaz: It takes less than a minute!
Y/n: Bestie, is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun??
Gaz: Well, how long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove then?
Y/n: Like, 7 minutes!
Soap: *nods*
Gaz: *sighs* Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat, and it boils in 2 minutes. Less than that if you use a saucepan.
Soap: ...Ye're puttin' the whole mug on the stove? On medium heat?
Y/n: *crying laughing* Your stove is fucking enchanted!
Price: Every single one of you is a fucking lunatic.
Ghost: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?
Source
#cod x reader#tf 141 x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x gn reader#simon riley x male reader#simon riley x plus size reader#simon riley x black reader#simon riley x poc reader#john price x reader#john price x gn reader#john price x male reader#john price x plus size reader#john price x black reader#john price x poc reader#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick x gn reader#kyle garrick x male reader#kyle garrick x plus size reader#kyle garrick x black reader#kyle garrick x poc reader#soap x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#soap x gn reader#soap x male reader#soap x plus size reader#soap x black reader#soap x poc reader#incorrect quotes
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Does Chubby Bunny ever go into heat? What would the boys reaction be to that the first time if she does?
a/n: sorry i’m late to this ask!!! also i added konig because why not and i’ve been obsessed with him
john price – the most level-headed at first, but even he starts slipping when he realizes what��s happening. he’d probably notice the way she’s acting clingier, more flushed, and maybe even whimpery. tried to be responsible about it—keeping her comfortable, making sure she has everything she needs—but there’s only so much discipline a man can have when his sweet little bunny is looking at him with needy eyes.
simon “ghost” riley – the second he realizes what’s happening, he goes silent. stares at her for a long moment, jaw tense, fingers twitching like he’s restraining himself. he should leave, put distance between them, but then she nuzzles into him, whining his name softly, and he’s absolutely wrecked. he mutters a low, “you don’t even know what you’re askin’ for, love,” but stays put, arms locked tight around her.
johnny “soap” mactavish – oh, he’s done for. absolutely feral the moment he catches her scent. his usual playful teasing turns into something darker, more desperate. he’s normally good at holding back, but now? now he’s practically begging for permission to take care of her. tries to be gentlemanly about it but is constantly shifting, fidgeting, gripping at things like he’s barely keeping himself in check.
gaz – he’s torn between being worried and completely enchanted by how soft and needy she is. tries to joke his way through it, but his voice keeps dropping an octave, and his hands won’t stop hovering around her waist. eventually, he gives in and just keeps her close, pressing little kisses to her temple while muttering, “dunno if you know what you’re doin’ to us, bunny…”
konig – oh, he’s in hell. his massive size already makes him cautious around her, but now? now she’s looking at him like she wants something from him, and he doesn’t know if he can handle it. ends up physically restraining himself, clutching the arms of chairs, gripping at his own thighs, anything to keep from reaching for her. the moment she whimpers his name, though? all bets are off.
#luvbabydoll ‧₊˚ ⋅#requests — 🤍#asks — 🤍#john price x reader#simon ghost x reader#cod modern warfare#john price x y/n#cod smut#john price x you#johnny soap mctavish x reader#gaz x reader#konig call of duty#konig x reader
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Bath and Body Works Enchanted Orchid Antibacterial Deep Cleansing Soap and Anti Bacterial Nourishing Soap
2007
Found on Ebay, user tracktownvintage
#vintage bath and body works#bath and body works enchanted orchid#vintage bath and body works soap#2000s bath and body works#2007 bath and body works#vintage bath and body works anti bacterial soap#vintage bath and body works anti bacterial#2000s fragrance#enchanted orchid#2000s nostalgia#2000s anti bacterial#2000s cleancore#bath and body works enchanted orchid soap#2000s
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Snow white and the huntsman only it's Soap and he's gonna fake your death not because he feels bad but because he becomes immediately enchanted with you and has to have you 🤧 pulls the heart of a deer out from her breast and holds it up for you, this coulda been you, lassie. Ah could've killed ye—but ah didnae, blood dripping onto the snow. Anyway
#drgnfly notes#soap mactavish#sorry i write the same idea same fic every time#cod characyer becomes obsessed#has to make u his wife#im a one trick pony#anyway#anyone done this?
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