#epsilon talks

[churchstopsurgeryscars]

Give me more Locus learning how to be human again please and thank you. Let that man relearn about stuff like music and good food and bad memes on the internet. I wanna watch him pick up a hobby like painting or writing. I want him to learn who he is when the armor is off. He deserves to learn how to smile and laugh again and get used to the feeling of joy fluttering in his chest.

[churchstopsurgeryscars]

Listen my dude RVB is so bad from a writing standpoint, a representation standpoint, and a people behind it standpoint. I don't keep up with the bullshit going on with RT because I have better things to do with my time, so you'll have to go elsewhere for the details, but they are NOT good people. Also the plotlines, while interesting and compelling, are typically very poorly executed. The characterization leaves so much to be desired until around season 15, and even then they regress so many characters in their development for the sake of moving forward the pilot. And the way they treat their openly queer characters (Donut) their disabled characters (Caboose) and their women is abhorrent at it's best and downright bigotry at it's worst. In the earlier seasons especially!

Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE rvb. It's my special interest. However ignoring its very apparent issues in lieu of acknowledging them can be an issue in and of itself. Now I will absolutely concede it gets better with time and they correct quite a few of those mistakes, but those sins and those mentalities still echo in the way they treat certain characters.

I love Red vs Blue for the moments of gold it has and the potential the story has. And I also can acknowledge that the show is Not Good™. It makes me so sad how many times the writers come up with such compelling and interesting plotlines and then fall on their face halfway to the finish line. Part of me wants to tear the series apart and rewrite it from the ground up. Give these stories and characters the love and care they deserve.

Also please don't hunt down the person who made these tags and harass them or something. I just saw an opportunity to rant about how disappointing RvB can be.

[churchyaoi]

been thinking about these two a lot lately

[heroictoonz]

i like could be just fucking crazy but im rewatching rvb and im on season 6 and i just keep thinking it almost feels like epsilon and church have different personalities. like subtly like theyre so so so close to being the same but its off a bit like i dont even know how to explain in and i could just be cracked but idk they feel different to me

[rvbsketches]

sorry.. decided im also gonna put my bad memes here

theyre putting me down tomorrow

[kojoty]

i was reminded of this old poltergeist/ghostly au in which Alpha!Church and Tucker have a preexisting relationship, but by the laws of the land, Alpha!Church straight up dieded, but the rift of emotional potency was enough that he does become a spirit, but it's not in the haha funny poltergeist silly way but more in the babadook 'I am a manifestation of your guilt and emotional repression and inability to move the fuck on, and I both am and am not the person you loved contorted to tortured spiritual energy'--

So, you have this haunting taking place that's more of a haunting of Tucker's own emotional instability than anything else, and you have this dark emotional energy in church and then .

well, you see, tucker meets this guy, and anyways, this is all a set up to have wash walk into tucker's apartment for the first time since they started sploinking , and he takes two steps in and then church!ghost throws a tea cup at his head and tucker screams "GODDAMNIT CHURCH NOT NOW" and wash screams "GODDAMNIT CHURCH NOT NOW" and they both stop and pause and stand there in the middle of Tucker's entry way and tucker goes "how did you--" and wash goes "How did you--"

and in a serious of awful coincidences, turns out epsilon also uh. you know. in wash's apartment and he's been dealing with the same fucking thing. and so now wash knows about Tucker's Church!ghost and tucker gets to find out what a dick Wash's Church!ghost is

[leonardalphachurch]

whether or not temple would like church is such an interesting question bc like. alpha is so so clearly a victim of project freelancer but the freelancers were also victims and temple still very actively targeted them. but then alpha wasn’t so publicly obviously responsible for the sim troopers but he arguably did hold more responsibility than them? but would temple see it that way? because then you also have to consider like. church was also a sim trooper. church actively dealt with the bullshit the freelancers pulled on the front lines. they could empathize with each other about this! but then tex. tex is like. the biff to churchs temple and also the thing that killed biff. so. while i definitely do think that would ultimately cause tension in any potential partnership they may have, would that affect temples initial decision on whether or not to freezer church vs trying to recruit him?

as for whether or not church would like temple. well.

[waxcloth-din]

Headcanon time! Epsilon admits against Delta’s logic in season 12 that despite being memories, he likes having someone to talk to. what if we see Epsilon talking to Delta and Theta the most bc they belonged to North and York, and those two were closest to Wash. So maybe Wash’s connection to them all is why Epsilon pulls them up most often, because with their short time together they were the ones Wash felt the most connected/comfortable around, and it subconsciously impacted Epsilon even now- even if it’s not the ‘logical’ action.

Like it could totally just be that Delta and Theta were the least involved in the fragmentation of the Alpha AI, which makes Epsilon trust them more, but also I love how messy Wash and Epsilon’s connection is and I’ll take any opportunity to tug strings from the Gordian knot of angst that is RvB.

[fischiee]

the lack of communication in red vs blue drives me up the wall like what do you MEAN the reds and blues (and wash!!!) don’t know that the director is carolina’s dad!! they don’t know about tex’s history!! they don’t even know that epsilon tried to blow himself up in wash’s head!!!!!

[churchstopsurgeryscars]

Hey y'all if I tried to write even a short fic regarding this ship it would take weeks so here's my Reds and Blues Polycule Chart™️

Note: Platonic refers to Queer Platonic Partners not just standard friendships.

(Separate photos of each category and headcannons under the cut. CW for some NSFW themes)

(NSFW) Tucker and Kai tried being romantic partners, but realized that they were both just in it for the sex and decided to remain friends who have sex

(NSFW) Wash and Donut have had sex a total of 3 times and each time have been when Wash was so stressed out and lonely and Donut just decided to give him a hand. They don't speak of it and act like it never happened because Wash is embarrassed.

(NSFW) Donut, Grif, and Simmons have had multiple threesomes.

Wash, Carolina and Church are not genetic siblings but they consider themselves siblings because of their bond. People outside the polycule assume Carolina and Wash are dating and it offends them every time.

Sarge sees Simmons and Lopez as his sons and would protect them at all costs.

Grif and Kai...obviously

Church and Simmons ended up getting really close when Simmons decided to defect to Blue Team in Blood Gulch. They're a pair of massive nerds and love to discuss their favorite video games and TV shows. These discussions look like arguments to an outsider but they're having a great time

Doc, Kai and Donut all separately came to Locus with the goal of helping him experience life. Doc and Locus garden together. Kai takes him to a LOT of parties. And Donut has been teaching him about self care like makeup, skincare, bubble baths and things of the like. At first Locus was super overwhelmed by it but has grown to love his dorks

Locus and Church have this dynamic of two cats sitting on opposite sides of the couch to each other. They care about each other so much but hardly interact or say a word. They have this habit of giving each other gifts by just placing it on the other's bed without a word or even a note.

Sarge and Grif used to hate each other but over time have gotten to the point where they literally cannot handle not having each other around. If they go more than a week without seeing one another they get stressed.

Carolina and Grif became QPPs after Iris when Carolina started trying to process her trauma and figure out how to relax. They have a weekly hangout with just the two of them where they get so high and play videogames together.

Donut has put in a lot of effort to learn Spanish for Lopez. He struggled with it at first, but has gotten much much better. When not with Locus, Lopez is usually with Donut because he's one of the only people who can actually understand him.

Doc and Lopez ended up trauma bonding after their experience with Omega.

Caboose, understandably, has clung to Wash as a replacement for Church. However, over the years he has learned to love and rely on Wash in a way that goes beyond treating him as a rebound for Church.

(NSFW) Sarge and Donut first got together almost immediately during Blood Gulch after Donut made some sort of sex joke and Sarge was like "bet" then suddenly it wasn't a joke. They don't keep it a secret and yet nobody seems to know they're dating.

Simmons and Grif were the most painful relationship for everyone in the polycule to witness because they denied and denied and denied their love for each other for years. It wasn't until well after everything with Temple went down when they FINALLY started dating.

(NSFW) Locus and Grif started off with Locus getting so irritated and frustrated with Grif that he just had to fuck him about it. For a while Grif kinda clung to Locus like a lost puppy until recovering from the isolation of being alone on Iris for a couple months.

Doc and Donut started off with being close friends but after living together in Valhalla they realized they saw each other as more than friends.

After Locus joins Red Team (After the end of Season 15 in this AU), him and Lopez end up bonding really fast. While Doc and Donut know some Spanish, it's not the same as speaking with someone who is fluent in it. It's also nice to have someone who is more serious to talk to after being surrounded by maniacs and idiots for so long. They are the calm at the center of the storm that is the rest of the polycule, watching it all go by together and silently holding hands.

Locus and Wash got together after Wash got shot. In this AU, he stayed with him in the hospital and helped support him through rehab. They ended up bonding over their shared traumas and experiences with war and soon realized they had a lot in common.

Church and Tucker actually started dating all the way back in Blood Gulch. It's been on again, off again, but that's mostly because Church has this bad habit of dying and being effectively reincarnated. They really don't go on a lot of dates/do romantic shit, but they are very much in love. Their idea of a good time is sitting in lawn chairs, drinking beer and bullshitting.

Caboose never dated Alpha. In fact, Alpha really only ever saw him as a friend, and not even a close one. Epsilon, however, loved Caboose so much.

Wash and Tucker have such a strange dynamic. They argue like an old married couple, almost as bad as Grif and Simmons do. And they compliment each other so well. Wash helps Tucker to stay motivated and Tucker helps Wash to calm tf down for once.

Kai and Carolina are the newest couple in the polycule. They ended up getting close due to Grif's manipulation of always coming up with excuses for them all to do things together. Their relationship at this point mainly consists of the two of them sharing each other's interests with each other. Kai has found out through Carolina that she thinks MMA is really cool and Carolina has learned that she actually really likes making kandi jewelry.

[flutterbruttershy]

it kills me bc the part where caboose retells the entire story of PFL and brings back tex rules. IF it wasnt preceded by getting hammered in the face with so many exposition dumps over shit they think the audience forgot as if rvb bitches havent had that all of that shit on repeat for the past 20 years

[dicaxasinus]

its me and my modern au trina headcanons against the world

Another sibling in Marika's disaster of a family who is super okay with the fact that Miquella gets so much more attention than her :) really it's fine :) It's great really :) she loves him too so it's all okay :)

When she was little and before things got Complicated with that side of the family, she would go play with her big brothers Morgott and Mohg because they got just as little attention as she did. They're The Same, you see. (It definitely didn't break her heart when they stopped talking to her and seemed to just up and vanish. Who said that)

She got to know all of Miquella's plans before anybody else so she also knew that whatever he was doing was going to ruin his life hardcore. So she's gotta ruin his life first so it doesn't get ruined quite as bad.

Girl who uses a wheelchair after Miquella abandons her on account of her in-game model not having legs, just a stem. She's just like Godwyn with his fish tail fr...

She met up with Godwyn in the hospital after the Abandonment Incident. He's different from how she remembers him but that's okay. She's gonna latch onto any brother she encounters bc she needs something to anchor her.

Godwyn got her a service dog. He's the biggest, wettest Irish wolfhound on the planet. She loves him dearly. His name is Putty (Sir Putty when he has Tasks). When he's off duty he likes to roll around in the mud.

Bonus Related Omen Twins Headcanons

I don't remember who posted about stealth CEO Morgott pretending to be his dad over Zoom or something, but honestly, inspired. He still dresses like a disaster though. Nobody would ever guess that he's in charge of anything. Anyway, he'd have the means to help take care of Trina after the Incident. She'd be like a sad baby seal when she sees him again. Especially if whatever Miquella's doing is affecting business or whatever. She's trying to help and also make Morgott happy bc he definitely Is Not looking like it.

Trina: We could kill him... Morgott: Trina, that's illegal. Trina: ... Putty could eat him probably... Morgott: No.

Idk what Mohg's doing exactly, but Miquella would've ruined his life in the process of ruining his own, so he's gonna have some beef with him. However, he and Trina would have a common goal of ruining Miquella's life before he can do it his own way, so they could have an alliance. Even if Trina's also like a sad baby seal seeing him again. She missed him and feels so so bad about whatever Miquella did. Especially if she kept quiet about it or had some hand in how it happened.

Morgott disapproving of Trina spending time with Mohg bc he's a bad influence but little does he know Trina already has Issues so who's the worse influence really

[heroictoonz]

tucker being the first person to walk away when epsilon has his meltdown at them all and caboose being the last one to walk away makes me fucking crazy

[communistmarktemple]

also can we just talk about how fucking funny restoration makes the 13 finale. “you can’t see the ending you just gotta have faith that it will turn out okay” *.000000000002 seconds later* “yeah so i need to simulate all possible endings. faith? uhhhh sure i have faith in them. now let me insert myself into this situation so i can guarantee it turns out okay”

[mbat]

thinking about the eredar and how they couldve so easily just been like 'fuck off' about them and let them be mindless soulless irredeemable monsters who have hurt and killed countless people across the galaxy for centuries

but they chose to redeem them. to make them work toward redemption, even if they never achieve it in the eyes of most... or anyone, even. to make them people just like the other characters, and rejoin their people that had to separate from them a long time ago.

and how you can play as one now, technically. you can gain customization options to become an eredar and play as one. and thats wild to me, but in a good way. its just neat

[nazfangz]

church/tucker (chucker if youre feeling fun) is basically the precedent for every tucker pairing for me. and i mean that. when church is gone he looks for some other thing to fill his sad sad church shaped hole in his heart every time without fail ... and the worst part is i dont think he realizes that he does that, and hed HATE IT IF HE DID !!!