#etc. etc. etc. in any combination of those things

[manyegos]

I wrote on 2019 "Me during the last decade" I think I gained so much wisdom and strength on 2023. The last 2 years were absolutely miserable, whereas in my early childhood and youth it was embodied with trauma, violence, abuse, poverty and utter loneliness . . . the last years specially after covid (and a little bit still) were marked by stagnation, dissapoitment and unkown. I am etraordinary better now and I can handle them but these years were difficult even if I would like to say otherwise. My financial situation really affected me to a point I reached a low point for consecutive years. I am very strong because the combination of everything with the pandemic and the recessions would have taken anyone out. I am better today and it makes me happy to read what I was feeling and going through and to know I gained so much wisdom and strength. That movie also represented how much I felt disconnected, lost and a feeling I can't put into words "stolen" from life. Now Blue is the warmest color does not have the same effect on myself.

By the way on a funny and uplifting note, at one point I reached the Fat Thor (if you seen Avengers you will understand) state of mind, where I had given up on everything and I was a mess (still not the lowest I have been, as I was hedonistic and careless) I posted this back then, thankfully all those questions have been answered and I am still working on the last one. “do you have a boyfriend yet?” Yes I did, I almost get married. Thank GOD I did not. By the way youngerself, you become a master and a pro in relationships and on ending in good terms after a nightmare fall out and dating so many frogs. You will find so much pleasure in being alone and single and even envision creating a family on your own! You also learned that anyone even the sort of wrongly titled "love of your life" are just complements, being good with yourself fixes everything around you and truly attracts people! “when are you gonna get a job?”Well youngself, you will discover soon after COVID hits that we actually had more luck back then and there was so much more we could do. You will experience a new industrialization wave (the AI and supercomputer wave.) Neither Trump, Communist, progressives or any party will fix it. You have to survive, good luck We are still doing that! “what are you gonna do with your life?” Well young self, I am still answering that. I keep avoiding and ressisting. Going after our dreams isn't as clear, easy or serendipitous. It is scary as fuck, sometimes and for many close to impossible and as we are discovering not even applicable (AI changed the landscape, laws change things, the economy, war, etc) But we are actually very motivated and more focus than when we were young.

Bonjour Tristesse (1958) // Blue is the Warmest Color (2013)

[kurogane2512]

Been craving Ningguang recently so yeah, a little idea I have had in my head for a long time. The idea came to me from the Liyue Interlude quest (Beisht fight), and the recent anthology event made me needy for Ning screentime so I decided to combine them :)

18+ CONTENT

Game: Genshin Impact

Characters: Ningguang x fem!reader (Traveller)

Type: Fluff and Smut (kinda long fic, fingering, scissoring, strap usage etc)

Liyue Harbor bustled beneath the afternoon sun, its golden roofs gleaming like fire-kissed coins, and its stone streets alive with the rhythm of daily trade. Merchants called out prices in melodic chants, fishermen hauled in glistening nets, and children darted between stalls, their laughter threading through the market’s hum. As you passed, heads turned— some with wide eyes, others with hushed words passed behind fans or sleeves. They knew who you were, of course— the Hero of Liyue. You’d grown used to the attention, meeting their gazes with faint nods, waves of hand and polite smiles.

However, your destination was clear today. You weren't here for a stroll or any festival; today, you were summoned by the Tianquan herself. A rare occurence in the time you had acquainted her. The memories spent with her were still fresh in your mind— moments of cooperation, assistance, and something far more..... intimate nestled quietly between all the diplomacy and danger.

Nights spent in her chambers blurred in memory— silken sheets tangled around restless limbs, low murmurs exchanged beneath the hush of lantern light, and the warmth of her breath trailing softly against your skin. She pulled you close with slow, deliberate intention, each movement a quiet surrender of control, unraveling only when your hands found her. In those moments, titles and duty faded away, leaving only the steady rhythm of her heart pressed against yours.

A gust of wind stirred your thoughts, pulling you from the warmth of memory back to the present. The bustle of Liyue Harbor faded beneath as you stepped on the lift to ascend to the Jade Chamber. The weight of past and present mingled inside you— anticipation, resolve, and something more fragile, waiting to be reclaimed among the clouds. Once on the platform, you were greeted by her secretaries who suggested you to have some refreshments first— a strange gesture considering you thought Ningguang would want to meet you as soon as possible.

"Oh, is she busy? The letter said she wanted to discuss something important."

The secretaries looked at each with guilty looks then Baishi gave a firm nod and looked back at you with a smile.

"She's waiting for you."

You became suspicious but nodded and entered the abode, walking towards her office. The walls welcomed you with familiar stillness— polished stone floors gleaming beneath golden light, silken banners swaying gently with the altitude’s breeze, intricate artifacts and jewels placed majestically. Once you reached the open office, your eyes widened at the unexpected sight.

Ningguang was seated on the side, with none other than Baizhu beside her who appeared to be checking her pulse. Your steps halted at the doorway but the creak of the floor made Ningguang's gaze dart in your direction, her crimson eyes gleaming for a moment before a soft smile graced her face.

"Oh, you have an.... impeccable timing, Traveller~"

Baizhu glanced at you and gave a nod of greeting before turning his attention towards Ningguang. You walked in further and stood near them, wanting to hear his diagnosis.

"Your cold was caused by the physical and mental strain you've been under lately, I fear. Such things are more common with the changing of the seasons." he stated.

Something uncomfortable pulsed inside you at his words, your eyes focusing on Ningguang with a hint of concern. However, she responded with a rather.... indifferent tone.

"Just prescribe some more medicine for me, if you would. I'll have someone pick it up in a few days."

Baizhu sighed, "As you say. However... while colds can be cured with medication, overexertion could cause it to recur."

Ningguang chuckled, "Thank you for the advice, Dr. Baizhu, but I cannot simply ignore the affairs of state. Alleviating the symptoms through your prescriptions should suffice for now."

Another exhale from Baizhu, "I will write up some more nourishing dietary prescriptions. Please, take things slow, and avoid weakening your body too much."

She nodded with her usual graceful smile. Baizhu swiftly wrote her a prescription and handed to her, "Here's the prescription. Please make sure you get enough rest, Lady Tianquan."

"Thank you, Doctor. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

Baizhu was then escorted out by Baishi, leaving you and Ningguang alone in the still office. She then stood up with a sigh and walked towards her desk.

"I can see you have questions. Well, just know I had little sleep last night then caught a cold due to a chill draft. Nothing worth concerning."

You raised an eyebrow then walked closer to her desk.

"That's not concerning?"

She softly chuckled, "You have seen people in far worse conditions, haven't you, Y/n?~"

"That doesn't excuse this."

She shrugged, "Don't worry your mind over this. There are always more pressing matters to attend to— like the one I summoned you for. Please, have a seat."

You let out a sigh then sat on the chair across her.

"First of all, thank you for accepting my request so promptly. I heard you were in Natlan these days, it must have been quite a tiresome journey to come from there."

"I have my ways of transportation, it is quite efficient and easy."

She smiled, "Of course, you would. Well, I won't take much of your time. I called you here for assistance in an important matter." she paused then procured a document from her desk's drawer, placing it in front of you.

"You see, after the battles with Osial and Beisht, the Qixing delved into analysing various aspects of the methods used in the battles to fight the disaster. Of course, we improved drastically with Beisht, but there is always room for more. Eventually, we all came to the conclusion to strengthen our defense forces— not just the Millelith, but more. That file contains the reports of the analyses we did, you can go through it later."

"I see, so how do you plan to strengthen your defense forces?"

"Well, we faced a truth most of the Qixing wre too stubborn to admit. If you remember, during both battles, we severely lacked.... sea power. The Crux Fleet was a temporary aid, an emergency measure at most during crises like that, but we need a permanent and consistent solution. Hence, we sanctioned to form a navy division in the Millelith. This information was made public 3 months ago and since then we have held trials to recruit soldiers."

She paused, procuring another file from the drawer.

"This one contains details of the selected candidates. Now, this is where you come in. I will be upfront that we don't have capable mentors when it comes to this, and it won't reflect good on our integrity to hire pirates to train an army. I asked for aid from Fontaine who were ready to send over an advisor, but we still lack an... anchor— someone to steady the recruits, to keep them grounded when uncertainty sets in. They need more than strategy and drills; they need someone who has stood at the heart of chaos and not faltered."

Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting this to be the topic she wanted to discuss. She sensed your surprise and smiled more, leaning forward on the desk with an unwavering look.

"You’ve led armies without wearing their banners, faced gods and monsters and still walked back with your head high. Fought creatures that shook the skies, quelled gods, and stood between entire nations and ruin. That kind of presence can't be taught. You know what it means to make choices with the world watching, to lead not just by command, but by conviction."

Her voice softened, the sharp edge of her usual formality giving way to something more personal, "When fear sets in, they'll need someone to look to. Someone who won't waver. And when I considered who that could be— who I would trust to hold the line, to carry not just the burden of leadership but the hearts of those beneath it— your name was the only one that came to mind."

She paused, gaze lingering on yours just a moment too long. "Not just because of what you can do, but because of who you are. And because I trust you more than anyone else."

There it was, that look. The one just shy of a smile, eyes half-lidded in that knowing, quiet confidence that always managed to pull an answer from your chest before your mind could catch up. The look that had swayed entire negotiations, and yet somehow felt crafted just for you. It wasn’t fair. She knew how to control your heart far too well.

"I... w-well, I certainly wasn't expecting this...." you said with an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of your neck.

Ningguang responded with a soft chuckle and rested back on her chair, "I can understand it is a lot to ask of you, I'm aware you are very busy and this is a huge committment. But be assured, I won't keep you here for more than a month. Just long enough to set the foundation, to draft schedules and give a direction for a future leadership to take over."

Then, after a beat, she added with the faintest tilt of her head, "Though… if you chose to stay longer, I wouldn’t object."

A sudden flush came on your face that wasn't missed by her— never is. Her lips curling faintly as she leaned forward again, "In case you felt more time was required, is what I meant~"

Oh, this woman knew how to toy with you too well, even when she was asking for a serious favor.

"And...." she added, "As with all our transactions, I will suitably compensate you for your services." her head tilted with a smirk again, giving you that same look but with more.... intention.

Your heart skipped a beat again, staring at her and the documents before letting out a sigh.

"I can't really refuse you, Lady Ningguang. I accept, and you don't have to worry about the compensation. It is an honor for me to train Liyue's defenses."

A subtle flicker of surprise came and was quickly replaced by her confident smile, "You have my utmost gratitude. I hesitated quite a bit before making the decision to call for you. Hehe, isn't it strange? You always somehow make me falter my decisions~"

She chuckled in a velvety tone, draping one exposed leg over the other. She didn't miss the way your eyes glanced at it for a fraction of a second, smirking to herself.

"You can start anytime you want, and feel free to state your resource requirements. You will get everything promptly and in best quality. We have reserved Guili Planes and Yaoguang Shoal as training grounds, unless you suggest some other place then I will arrange it right away."

You nodded, "Those places are fine. And, I'll start from day after tomorrow. While it's true I have experience fighting in wars, I have only had ground, aerial and.... well, underwater battles. The advisor from Fontaine you mentioned, have them come?"

Ningguang nodded and stood up to circle around the desk, walking towards you.

"He will arrive tomorrow. Aditionally, I have also arranged for some merchant ship captains to lend a hand."

"I see. Then, is it possible to have Beidou if I ask for it?"

Ningguang raised an eyebrow, stopping right beside you and leaning against the table.

"It is.... possible, if you ask her as aid. Certainly far easier to persuade the other Qixing in this case. But tell me, do you really require her? I trust your abilities well enough."

You blushed for a moment then cleared your throat, "W-Well, she's the closest to having someone with considerable sea battle experience. She likely knows things even I dont. And.... her presence would actually assure everyone because she has a good reputation."

"Hmm...." Ningguang hummed with a tilt of her head, "Interesting. I wasn't aware...." she extended her hand to hold your chin and bent closer, "....that you two were so close~"

Your face flushed once again, not from her accusation but from her being so close.

"Tell me." she continued, leaning even closer to whisper in your ear, "What kind of adventures have you both had, hm? Voyages on the sea or perhaps.... something more?~"

Your breath almost hitched feeling her silvery voice brush your ear, "N-No, nothing like that. She has just.... h-helped me travel between Inazuma and Liyue a few times, and I helped her fleet with some errands in return...."

Ningguang chuckled, the voice ringing in your ear. A beat of silence followed, her right hand coming up to caress through your hair strands.

"Entertaining pirates now, Traveller? I wonder...." her hand trailed down to caress your cheek before fiddling with your collar, "....have you helped her rearrange her bedroom as well?~"

Well, your face was as red as a tomato now. You could easily deny her assumptions, yet no words came out. Ningguang could tell your flustered state rather easily and finally ceased her teasing, retracting her hand with a smile.

"I jest. You know I simply adore your reactions~"

She stood up straight and crossed her arms over her chest, "Anyways, your request to have Beidou will be granted. I leave it to you to discuss the strategy with her. Is there anything else you wish to say right now?"

Your heart finally calmed down and you pondered for a moment when suddenly a question came in your head, remembering the scene you saw earlier when you entered this office. But, you held back from voicing your thoughts.

"None at the moment. I will get back to you if there is something later."

"Certainly, I also expect regular progress reports from you. Nothing too tedious, it's only to keep records. You know how things work."

You nodded then stood up, ready to leave.

"Oh my, leaving so soon?" she asked in a husky tone.

"Uh, you must be having other work to do, right?"

She smiled and let out a sigh, "Work is neverending, your presence is rare. But indeed, unfortunately, I have another meeting soon. I'll be sure to invite you for dinner at a later date, I'm quite eager to hear more stories about your travels ever since the last time we met~"

You nodded with a smile and finally bid her farewell. You were marching to the way out of her office, but your mind couldn't stop insisting on that one thing. You had to satiate your worry. You stopped just when you reached the door, your hand suspended towards the handle before you abruptly turned around, finding her already seated at her table.

You noted her focused expression as she looked over documents, the way her hand moved to forge new contracts. You took a deep breath then walked back towards her. Ningguang sensed your approaching form and looked up with a confused yet intrigued gaze, tilting her head slightly as you came closer.

"Did you forget something, Traveller?"

Your breath was held, the words on the tip of your tongue.

"Are you... are you sure you are okay? Regarding what Baizhu said, you look tired.... Can I help in some manner?"

Ningguang was caught off-guard for a moment, though she masked it well with her composed smile. She could see the concern in your eyes, the genuine worry for her. She let out a soft hum and rested her face on her palm.

"Hmm, and in what way would you help?~"

"Uh... I could do some paperwork and...." you looked down and tried to think of more things. It was true there wasn't much you could do for someone in her position.

"W-Well, anything you feel I can do so you can rest."

She chuckled, a gentle smile forming on her face.

"I apprecite your concern, Traveller. Truth be told, having you do some paperwork is not a bad idea. However, all of it contains various crucial and confidential information about Liyue.... While you are my most trusted ally, I still have to take some precuations. I'm sure you can understand~"

You pursed your lips, having no point to counter.

"S-Still, there must be something I can do—"

"I have already given you your task, haven't I? I assure you, it is one of our higest priorities at the moment. If you do it within a reasonable time, you will be lifting off a great burden from my shoulders~"

Her eyes narrowed with a mischievous glint, the same look she'd give everytime to convince you into her schemes. You let out a sigh and nodded, "....I understand. Still, please don't hesitate to call for me if there is anything. And please take rest as Baizhu advised."

She smiled, "You have my gratitude. I'll take care of myself. I look forward to your performance in the upcoming days~"

Just like that, you returned to your teapot realm and started preparing for the training lessons, all the while Ningguang's wellbeing remained in the back of your mind. You hoped she took rest and didn't exert herself.

Two days later, you were at Guili Planes as planned, starting the first ever lesson. Beidou had been scheduled to come from next week since you wanted to get used to things yourself first alongside the Fontaine advisor. The recruits were top-notch, as you'd expect from the Qixing's rigorous selection methods. Some of the existing Millelith soldiers applied, stating different reasons, while some entirely commoners who simply wanted to contribute to Liyue's protection.

You had a good feeling everything would go well— except for the one thing nagging your head even now.

It was later in the afternoon when you noticed Ningguang came to observe the training, you didn't know how long she had been there. She stood under a tree and intently watched, merely giving a small smile once your eyes met. Eventually, you decided to give everyone a break and went to talk with her. The advisor accompanied you, stating he wanted to discuss some things with her.

"Good afternoon to you both, I suppose everything is going well judging by the enthusiasm of the recruits." Ningguang mused.

The advisor then went on to discuss some things he had observed and wished to implement to make the sessions more effective, asking for your input in between which you eagerly gave. The discussion dragged on for quite a bit and you happened to glance at Ningguang once, catching a glimpse of a sweat drop rolling down her temple followed by her blinking her eyes a few times as if in a daze.

Although, you were standing under a tree's shade, it wasn't uncommon to still feel the heat of Liyue's summer. And, knowing by long she had been here, at least from when you took note of her, it was understandable she'd start feeling tired. The advisor kept talking on and on, completely ignoring her state or the surroundings, you had come to understand he was rather zealous about his job.

Some moments later, you noticed Ningguang clenching her fists and looking down as if her eyes felt heavy. On instinct, you gently put your hand upon her back to straighten her, sending a surprising jolt in her as she regained her posture and focus. You were about to retract your hand when you realized she had leaned back on it, almost as if using it as a much-needed support.

"I'll include everything in the first report we send, Tianquan. Now, if you'll excuse me." he walked away after a courteous bow, leaving you alone with her.

You turned to face her and gently held her arms, "Are you okay? You look.... drained."

She let out a sigh and wiped the sweat from her forehead, "Just the weather.... Do you mind accompanying me to the Jade Chamber?"

An unexpected request with no explanation.

Not that you needed one when it came to assisting her. You agreed without a second thought and started walking with her towards the Jade Chamber, still not removing your hand from her back. She let out a soft chuckle but didn't say more, silently walking alongside you and using you for support. Although, going through the harbor this way would undoubtedly stir rumours, as if there weren't already plenty about you two, but you couldn't care less at the moment.

The walk till Yujing Terrace was silent, save for the occasional greetings from curious citizens which she politely responded to with no fault, still maintaining her elegant and refined composure in front of them. But you could notice her face turning paler, steps faltering a few times, yet desperately trying to hold herself together. Once you descended upon the Jade Chamber's ground, her knees gave out in defeat and you swiftly acted to catch her.

"Ningguang—?!" you couldn't help but gasp once you caught her.

She braced herself with one palm planting on the ground, the other lacing around you when you held her. Her lips trembled, vision blurring in front of her, crimson eyes struggling to stay focused. You could feel the strain in her arm as she clutched you— not for support, but for the illusion of control.

“I'm fine. I just…. need a moment.” she whispered, breathless, as if speaking alone might anchor her.

But her strength was slipping fast; her palm slid slightly against the stone floor, her balance swaying. Pride alone held her up now— pride, and the habit of never showing weakness. But you knew the truth, you had noticed the signs from the beginning, you cursed yourself for not acting sooner.

"No, you are not fine. I told you—"

Your plea was cut short when her stretched out arm gave away as well, your body moving to hold her before your mind registered the action. She slumped on you completely, breathing fastened. You gritted your teeth then scooped her up in your arms bridal style, wasting no more time to tend to her. She was light— too light for someone who carried so much on her shoulders.

"Don't.... make a scene...." she whispered before losing consciousness completely, her face cradling in your chest.

You furrowed your brows then swiftly moved towards the entrance. You carried her through the Jade Chamber’s inner halls, each step measured but quick, heart pounding in your ears. She had been everything to Liyue— untouchable, immovable, a legend in silk and stone. All eyes followed you as you passed, startled gasps from her secretaries as they trailed after you, voices laced with concern.

"Call Baizhu." you declared, voice sharp as steel. "Now!"

You didn't stop until you reached the ornate double doors of her private quarters. Baishi and Baixiao quickly opened the doors for you, keeping the path clear as you carried her inside and laid her on the soft, plush mattress. Baiwen had called for Baizhu, and you hoped he'd arrive soon.

Your eyes scanned all over her body, noting the way she was heaving and how burning her skin felt to touch. Gently, you brushed aside the stray strands of hair clinging to her damp brow, heart aching at how fragile she looked against the silk pillows that once held only poise and purpose.

“Ningguang….” you murmured, kneeling at her side.

You reached for the hand towel that lay folded on the bedside table, soaking it using your hydro powers and gently pressing it on her forehead. Her breath hitched faintly at the contact, but she didn’t stir.

"I told you not to overdo it...." you whispered, your own voice breaking.

She’d never listen, not when the entire weight of Liyue rested on her shoulders. Not when she refused to be anything but composed, even when her body was screaming for rest. You ran your fingers lightly down her temple, tracing the curve of her cheek. Her face, always so unreadable in the public eye, now softened into something defenseless.

You hated seeing her like this— but part of you also ached to see this vulnerable side of her, a side she only allowed you to see. You soaked the cloth again and placed it over her neck this time, watching for any signs of improvement. Her fever hadn’t worsened, at least. But still… it wasn’t enough. Then, fast approaching footsteps resounded from outside until the doors opened.

You turned your head sharply, relief loosening your spine just as Baizhu appeared in the doorway, Qiqi trailing dutifully behind. He let out a sigh then walked to your side, you moved back to give him space and observed as he bent down to examine her. Your hands clenched the cloth subconsciously, impatience growing in you to know his diagnosis.

"She was outside, at Guili Planes. I don't know exactly for how long, but certainly more than two hours." you narrated and he nodded in understanding.

"She's running a high fever, she hasn't recovered since two days ago." he stated. You knew that was the case, it always is.

"Will she—"

"She will be fine." your question was interrupted by him, knowing well what you wanted to ask.

"There's no sign of infection or internal damage, it's prolonged exhaustion. Every time she says she will take care of herself, yet...." he paused, "....This was bound to happen."

He reached into his equipment, taking out vials and herbs.

“I’ll need to keep her on herbal tonics for at least a few days, and she needs uninterrupted rest. No paperwork, no meetings, and certainly no walking across all of Liyue in heels. If she doesn’t slow down, this will only happen again— worse.”

Your heart clenched at that, hands tightening on the cloth.

"She'll recover." he reassured, sensing your worry. "And.... perhaps she'll listen if you are the one telling her to rest, Traveller~"

You almost blushed at that then sighed, "She didn't listen when I said it two days ago...."

Baizhu chuckled, "She will now."

Soon after, he finished his diagnosis and gave the secretaries a prescription for the medicines and the kind of food to feed her. Her secretaries then went to adjust her schedule and pick up on her work while you stayed by her side, not willing to leave until she'd look at you again. Fortunately, the wait wasn't long as the remedy from Baizhu took effect and she started stirring awake, squinting her eyes open. The first thing she laid eyes upon was your worried face, your body kneeled beside her as you patiently— or impatiently— waited.

"Ningguang....." you softly called out, lacing your hand with hers as she slowly regained consciousness.

"Y/n...." she murmured, voice hoarse, barely above a whisper. Her fingers curled weakly around yours in return, as if to make sure you were truly there.

"....I fainted, didn't I?" you merely nodded, her brows knitting in return.

She tried to sit up but her body betrayed her, shoulders trembling. You reached out and held her then gently pushed her to lay back down, "Don't move, Baizhu has strictly told you to rest."

She sighed, "I know, but you know very well I can't, don't you?~"

You narrowed your eyes, "At least rest until your fever goes down." you reached to touch her forehead with the back of your hand, "You are still very warm, you won't be productive this way."

She chuckled at your clever retort, "My, now you know how to speak my language, hm?~"

"I have to if I want you to understand~"

She smiled and nodded, accepting defeat, "Very well, until the fever goes down."

She tightened her hold around your hand, "Thank you, for taking care of me and saving my face in front of Liyue."

"I'm surprised how you even managed to keep yourself together through all that."

Her lips curled in a smirk, "Well, you saw right through me, didn't you?~"

"Only because I knew you were unwell from the start."

"That just means you were keeping your eyes on me then~"

You blushed and averted your gaze, "S-Sheesh, does the fever make you more playful than usual?"

She smirked more, releasing her hand from yours and extending it to grasp your jaw, gently tugging you closer.

"Oh, but you like it, don't you?~"

You blushed more, "Y-You are supposed to be resting—"

She silenced you by placing her lips on yours, soft yet firm. Your breath caught in your throat, any further protests dissolving against her warmth. When she pulled back, her face lingered close, her thumb still brushing lightly beneath your chin.

"You have a habit of doing this every time, don't you, Traveller?~" she whispered.

"W-What are you referring to?"

"You come to Liyue once, or twice, a year. Usually, it's for Lantern Rite or other important committment. Yet, every time we find ourselves entangled without any pre-planning. You show such love and concern for me, then expect me to bid you farewell all over again~"

Your eyes widened for a moment at her unexpected statement, you wondered if this was an effect of the fever.

"I.... I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Of course I'd care for you when I'm here, the partings are not easy for me either...."

She smiled and caressed your cheek, "I'm aware. I accepted it long ago you cannot stay, neither do I want you to stray from your path of looking for your sibling."

She then tugged you closer again, lips lingering over yours, "As long as you keep.... gracing me with your presence every now and then~"

You smiled and pecked her lips, "Perhaps we can make it into a contract? Put your clauses and I'll abide~"

Ningguang's eyes brightened, "Oh, such a.... quaint suggestion. You truly have started speaking my language~"

You chuckled together then sat in silence, simply gazing at each other while your hands remained bound.

"Tell me something, Ning...." you murmur, looking at your joined hands.

"Hm?" she hummed, "Speak freely, my dear."

"Since when have you been.... experiencing these effects? Has it been more consistent recently, or....?"

Her eyes softened, "You worry too much. I'm not the only one who falls sick due to exhaustion, you know?"

"I know but...." you trailed off, recalling Baizhu's words, "This will only happen again— worse"

You knew she won't slow down, not even from your continued requests. She couldn't afford slowing down.

Your brows knitted as you looked at her with a frustrated look, "We should find a more permanent solution. Let me take you to Sumeru, I'll request the Dendro Archon to cure you."

Ningguang's eyes widened in sheer surprise at your suggestion, she could tell you were serious, you would certainly do it if she agreed. She couldn't help the smile crawling up her face, until she broke out in laughter.

"N-Ningguang, this is serious—!" you protested, unable to believe that she was outright laughing at you.

"Oh, I'm well aware. You aren't the type of person to make such.... creative suggestions if you weren't serious~"

"Then—"

"I refuse." she cut you off, "You know I cannot leave Liyue."

You gritted your teeth, "Surely you can take some days off? The Qixing should have concessions for when they have personal emergencies, right?" you attempted to counter, to make her give in.

Her face remained firm, unwavering, "This is my duty, Y/n. The Ministry of Civil Affairs is the crossroads where many matters meet, all of which must be seen to with care. To that end, no amount of effort is too great. Hehe.... If you think just me having a fever is bad, imagine the number of people who'd get one if I were to just drop my work all of a sudden and leave Liyue. And if everyone at the Ministry became overtaxed... I imagine Liyue Harbor itself would catch a cold then."

You clenched your fists, "That's not.... that's not how it should be. Then—" you suddenly looked at her, "I'll convince Nahida to come here instead. I'm sure she'll agree, and if you want then you can arrange some diplomat—"

"Shh~" she hushed you by keeping her index finger on your lips, then dragging it down to grasp your chin again, tilting her head with a smirk.

"Look at you, Traveller.... going as far as summoning an Archon of another nation for my sake? Careful, if I were an ordinary individual, perhaps I'd already be charmed by you~" she teased, pausing to lean to whisper in your ear, "A shame that I'm not~"

Her chuckle was velvety-smooth, the way it always is. Your face flushed again, both from embarrassment and frustration, having no words to counter her.

"I appreciate the thought, truly." she moved away to look at your face, her hand cradling your cheek now, "But rest assured, I will be fine."

You sighed in defeat and cradled her hand with yours, "Promise me you'll take enough rest then. Or I'll make Rex Lapis come back just to fix your schedule~"

She chuckled, a rather unrestrained laugh that she didn't bother hiding since it was just you.

"My, wouldn't that be convenient? Somehow, I have no doubt he'll actually listen to you~"

You smirked, "Mhm, don't underestimate my relations with the Archons and other illuminated beasts~"

She smirked in return, "Is that so? Perhaps...." her other hand raised to loop around your head, fingers interlacing in your hair to tug you closer, "....You shouldn't underestimate your relations with the woman in front of you as well~" And with that, her lips were on yours again, deeper and less reserved this time.

Her mouth moved against yours with a hunger that stole the breath from your lungs. Her hand in your hair tightened, holding you firmly in place, while the other slid down to clench the collar of your shirt, tugging you flush against her body. It was as if something deep within her had snapped loose, weeks or months of restraint giving way in an instant. You moaned into the kiss, and so did she when your hands found their way around her waist.

You matched her pace, mirroring her urgency and need, because you were equally starved. Her lips were warm, insistent, tasting of medicine and longing all at once. She kissed like she had something to prove, like she needed to remind you— you’re hers, and she never forgot. Breaths and moans mingled as the passion carried on, tongues dancing together in a heated waltz that spoke enough of how much you had missed this— missed her.

A sudden knock followed by the opening of the door is what broke your kiss, both of you being caught off-guard by none other than Ganyu who came to check on Ningguang. You barely had time to pull away when she was already inside, letting out a small gasp seeing you both locked in passion. You darted away immediately, looking to the other side while covering your flushed face while Ningguang simply chuckled.

"M-My apologies for the interruption, Lady Ningguang and Y/n...." Ganyu spoke shyly.

"This isn't the first time you have seen this, Ganyu. Me and Traveller tend to get a little..... lost in each other every time, don't we?~" she teased, making you blush more while Ganyu also became flustered and nodded.

"A-Ahem, I have brought the medicines Dr Baizhu prescribed and also your updated schedule. We followed his instructions to make it."

Ningguang pondered for a moment then glanced at you and smiled, "Well, I promised our dear Traveller here that I will rest until the fever goes down~"

Ganyu became surprised for a moment then nodded with a smile, "As you say, Lady Ningguang. We will update the schedule accordingly."

"I will also get going now." you stood up, feeling slightly relieved.

"Indeed, I have kept you long enough. I trust you will come up with a relevant explanation for your absence~"

You smiled, "Of course. Though, I guess the rumours will do enough talking...."

Ningguang smirked at your remark then beckoned her finger at you, gesturing you to come closer. Ganyu immediately made her way out before you could reach Ningguang's side, knowing what may transpire. Ningguang then grasped your shirt's hem and pulled you down once again, making you bend near her face.

"N-Ningg—?!"

Your words transformed into a sudden gasp as she moved your collar aside and latched her lips near your collarbone, sucking on the spot before biting down. You hissed at the feeling of her teeth sink in your skin, the way her tongue darted out to lick the spot once before finally letting go.

"There, that should make the rumours more believable now~" she grinned, watching you become flustered.

The lovebite was strategically placed; not overly visible but also not hidden enough unless you buttoned up to the neck. She leaned back into the pillows with a feline grace, utterly pleased with herself.

"Go along, don't keep them waiting any longer. Unless.... you want more?~"

Your breath hitched as you denied her then finally left the Jade Chamber, your heart in disarray over everything that happened. But at least, now you were more confident she'd take better care of herself. You decided to do even better in the task she gave, hoping to please her and make her efforts worthwhile. Your walk back to the training grounds wasn't a delightful experience- thanks to the constant gawking and whispering of the citizens, knowing well what their focus was.

You reached Guili Planes shortly after, the advisor was engaged in a theoretical lecture in your absence. You apologized for disappearing suddenly, but it seemed none of them wanted to question what happened. They had seen you walk away with Ningguang earlier, and the mark on your neck gave them enough food for thought to understand what held you back. Well, at least the training resumed without unnecessary problems.

The days that followed were a blur of activity packed with non-stop routines and lessons. Naval training required lot of water activity, it was crucial to get everyone accustomed with the ocean and the kind of challenges it held. You moved to Yaoguang Shoal from next day and arranged for different boats in order to start seafaring training�� swimming under pressure, cooperative raft maneuvers and quick response water retrievals— to name a few.

Under your patient yet firm guidance, Liyue's naval recruits, initially a chaotic mix of eager but untrained individuals, slowly began to find their rhythm. As you trained them, you poured all your combat experience and lessons from traversing Teyvat into preparing them for the rigors of naval life. It also helped you get your mind off the distracting— and still very visible— mark that Ningguang left on you, fueling new rumours every day. But your heart was peaceful knowing she was resting.

A few days later, the air at the bustling docks was thick with the scent of the sea. Today’s session focused on a series of drills to test their aquatic agility and teamwork. You wore attire specifically chosen for the water– a form-fitting top and shorts of a sturdy, quick-drying fabric, designed for minimal drag and maximum freedom of movement. It allowed for powerful strokes and rapid maneuvering, unconsciously highlighting the lean strength of your arms and legs honed through countless journeys.

You dove effortlessly into the water to demonstrate the underwater signal-response sequence, surfacing with a flick of your hair that sprayed a little arc of seawater into the air. A few of the younger recruits looked awestruck. You, of course, didn’t notice it— too focused on maintaining discipline.

From Yaoguang Shoal's beach, Ningguang had arrived, escorted by the Millelith, watching the entire exercise unfold. She wore her usual refined ensemble, a parasol shading her face, though her gaze was unmistakably fixed on you as you gave orders from waist-deep water, voice sharp and composed, body gleaming under the sun.

“What a sight,” she murmured to herself, lips curling. “Liyue’s navy will be thoroughly spoiled at this rate.”

"Admiral...." one of the recruits in the front row called out to you and gestured you to look behind.

You turned around and were taken by surprise seeing Ningguang standing on the beach, "Isn't she supposed to be resting...." you muttered to yourself with a sigh.

You were about to walk up to her when a sharp cry pierced through the waters, "Help! I can't—!"

A sudden, swirling undercurrent— a subtle riptide feeding into a deeper channel— pulled at one of the rafts, carrying two recruits dangerously off course. One of them, a lanky youth with wild eyes, panicked and slipped beneath the waves momentarily, coughing and flailing as he struggled to grab the rope. The other clung desperately to the side of the raft, frozen in place, unable to assist.

“Hold formation!” you commanded sharply. “Drop the oars! Secure the rafts!”

Despite your order, chaos threatened to spread. The recruits’ nerves frayed; their practiced coordination faltered in the face of sudden danger. Without a moment’s hesitation, you dove into the churning water, propelling forward with fluid and powerful movements at an incredible speed unnatural for any mortal, or even Vision holders.

You reached the first recruit just as he gasped for air, wrapping a strong arm around his chest and guiding him calmly toward the safety of the main raft. Passing him off to waiting hands, you swam toward the second recruit, who clung to the raft’s edge, eyes wide with terror. You surfaced beside her, voice soothing but firm.

“Let go. Trust me.”

The girl’s fingers tightened, but the firmness in your gaze made her release her grip. You caught her effortlessly, hauling her through the rolling waves with steady, practiced strokes. As you dragged her toward the raft, your muscles strained and your breath hitched, the sea spray catching the light and trailing down your exposed skin. The fabric of your training clothes clung wet and heavy, revealing every line and curve you carried— shoulders sculpted from combat, arms strong and sure, waist slender but powerful.

Ningguang walked closer once you came towards the beach and pulled out of the water, ensuring everything was okay, though her eyes couldn't be more distracted as they lingered on your toned physique. The water glistened down your skin, rolling over your lean arms, heaving chest and abs. She took her time to admire the sight while you tended to the recruit, her fan drawn up to hide the smirk on her face. Both of them were taken away to rest while you stood up, shaking off the excess water from your hair.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, making everyone come to attention and stand properly.

"Yeah, they'll be fine. Things like this end up being a good lesson."

She snapped her fan shut then glided towards you, suddenly taking up all your personal space with deliberate intent.

“Discipline is the spine of any fleet,” she said sharply over your shoulder, voice projecting across the beach. “Keep your eyes forward and your minds sharper, or you’ll find yourselves fish bait before you ever see a ship.”

“Yes, Lady Ningguang!” they chorused.

She smiled then turned her attention to you, her hand coming up to barely brush along your arm.

“Well,” she drawled, voice honeyed, “I expected to observe naval drills, not a rescue led by a soaked and rather... dashing admiral~”

You blinked, catching your breath. “They’re doing well, just hit with an unexpected current.”

She hummed, "I can see that, you handled it well. Decisive, fast, and undeniably commanding.” she praised, her voice silken and low as she drew near. “If you perform like this every day, I fear the recruits will learn far too slowly— far too distracted~”

You looked at her with a tired but cheeky grin. “Would you prefer I train them in full armor next time?~”

Ningguang let out a soft laugh, “Oh no, armor would be a tragedy. I rather like this view. Tactical efficiency wrapped in temptation, it’s hard to compete.”

You blushed and averted your gaze then whispered, "You are supposed to be resting. Is your fever down now?"

She smiled, "Why, of course. I always hold my end of the contract. Not to mention, I had to come." she stepped even closer, bending near to whisper in your ear. The recruits watched with rapt fascination until Ningguang glanced at them with a certain look that immediately made them look away, suddenly finding the sky very interesting.

"I had to come for you, I owe you more than just for this commission."

You blushed more, "....You would have done the same."

Her hand found yours this time, gently lacing her fingers between yours, her thumb brushing your knuckle in quiet gratitude. “Perhaps. But I wouldn't have looked half as good in those shorts~”

You gave a soft, breathy laugh, "You look good in everything— stunning, actually."

She gave a wider smile that slowly transitioned into her signature smirk, "Is that so? Then, would you be interested in coming over tonight and.... testing that?~"

Your breath hitched at the sudden invite, heartbeat growing louder, "Testing.... how stunning you look in everything?"

Her crimson eyes gleamed with mischief, and her voice dipped low enough to coil heat into your chest. "Mhm... I'd like your opinion, personally. Would you prefer me in pale blue silks, perhaps? A deep maroon robe? Or maybe just... my hair down, and nothing else to distract you?"

You opened your mouth to respond, but the words vanished somewhere between her sultry tone and the way her fingertips had drifted, now grazing the back of your hand with a featherlight touch. Her fingers soon laced with yours again, her thumb drawing slow, hypnotic circles over your knuckle. She leaned in, just close enough that the scent of her perfume— subtle notes of glaze lillies and smoke— enveloped you.

"Or would you rather take them off yourself?" she whispered, lips curling into a smile as your eyes widened and your breath hitched audibly.

You blinked, flustered and caught between protest and intrigue, but her hand gave yours a reassuring squeeze.

"Of course...." she added softly, the teasing now softened with genuine warmth, "This is also to thank you for taking care of me. For carrying me when I was too proud to admit I needed help, for staying without me asking. I remember the way you looked at me when I opened my eyes.... so much care, concern and love— all in one look."

That earned a pause in your racing thoughts, and when your gaze met hers again, it was different— tender, but still charged with that same magnetic pull she always had on you.

"You don't need to thank me for that, anyone else would have done the same...."

She hummed at your response, head tilting slightly as if examining you— not with scrutiny, but with something more intimate, something indulgent.

"Ah, but they’re not you." she said, her voice rich with certainty, “You say it so simply, as though that gaze of yours didn’t almost make me forget my fever entirely~”

Your breath caught again, her words weaving through the air like silk— smooth, yet impossible to hold without feeling the weight behind them.

"Well, do you accept my invitation? Or do I need to provide more incentives?~"

You became speechless for a while then cleared your throat to respond, "W-What time?"

She sneered, "As soon as you are finished here. Don't bother washing up, I'll have everything arranged. Just come straight to me~"

You merely nodded, too flustered to say any words. She leaned in to give a quick peck to your cheek— earning gasps and squeals from the recruits behind— then released you and stepped away.

"I'll be waiting. Don't keep me too long, or I might have to come rescue you the way you rescued those recruits just now~"

With that, she turned gracefully on her heel, walking back to the city with practiced elegance, leaving behind a trail of lingering warmth in her wake— and a heart in your chest beating far too fast.

Only after she was gone did one of the recruits murmur, “...Do all government inspections feel like romantic dramas?”

You sighed, then barked, “Five laps, everyone. Now.”

Their groans didn’t hide their grins.

The sun dipped lower as the training resumed, golden light dancing on the water as the recruits grumbled and splashed through their punishment laps, though none of them seemed particularly upset about it. You did your best to focus, shouting directions, correcting form, offering encouragement. But your thoughts wandered too often, drifting back to her— her touch, smile, and that promise of tonight.

By the time the sun had settled just above the horizon, casting the sea in a warm orange glow, you’d finally dismissed the last of the exhausted recruits. They muttered goodbyes and nudged each other with knowing smirks, clearly aware of your evening plans, even if none dared say a word.

You took a moment to yourself— hands on your hips, breathing in the sea air. The salty wind tousled your hair, cooled the flushed heat in your skin. Still, your heart beat with anticipation, skipping every time you remembered the way her voice had lowered when she whispered about silks… or how she'd looked at you like no one else existed.

The lanterns lining the ascent flickered like constellations, and when you stepped onto the familiar crystal walkways of Ningguang’s floating residence, it was quiet— eerily serene, like it had been expecting you. A secretary passed by with a polite nod but said nothing. Clearly, she had been told. Or perhaps, nothing needed to be said.

The doors to the Jade Chamber closed behind you with a soft thud, and for a moment, all you heard was the hush of evening wind against ornate lanterns. You knew she was waiting before you saw her. Ningguang stood at her desk, a single teacup in hand, bathed in golden light from the setting sun. Her profile was serene, composed, until she turned and saw you. Then came the smirk, slow and deliberate.

"Hm, earlier than I expected." she kept her teacup down, "Don't tell me you finished the training sooner in anticipation?~"

You blushed, "No, they were more tired today. New regime, you know...."

She took a step forward, hands folding neatly in front of her as she regarded you with a look that was far too unreadable, and far too amused.

"Ah, so it wasn’t for me, then? I’ll try not to feel too wounded~" she said, her voice carrying that telltale lilt of mock offense, eyes gleaming as they raked over you.

You tried not to fidget under her gaze, only to realize it was impossible, "I didn't say that...."

"Mhm." She closed the distance with her usual grace, the hem of her dress brushing against the fine rugs beneath her steps.

"What about you? Are you also more tired than usual?" Her hand rose, featherlight, brushing something imaginary from your collar before lingering just a second longer than it needed to.

“I’m holding up.” You tried to keep your voice even, but her proximity was doing dangerous things to your focus.

“I see.” Her smile widened, knowing and almost affectionate. “Though if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you came straight from the sea to here. Not even a detour to change into something less... ocean-kissed~”

You blinked and glanced down. Your shirt was dry but still clung faintly from the salt air, the edges sun-bleached from the afternoon drills.

You cleared your throat. “You said to come straight to you.”

Her laughter was soft and genuine, a low, pleased hum. “You really do take my requests seriously, don't you?~”

"Of course." your answer was firm, confident. The honesty in your voice made her pause. Her eyes searched yours, and for a breath, her flirtation quieted, replaced with something deeper. Gratitude, perhaps, or fondness she no longer needed to hide.

"You know, I planned to do this later. As part of your.... compensation, for the training." her hand reached to loosely lace with yours.

"....Will I not get it later now?" you asked after a bit of hesitation.

She chuckled, "Greed will get you punished, Traveller. Especially with me, if you want more then.... earn it~"

You playfully hummed, "What would you like to have? Another.... display like today's, perhaps?~"

She smirked, her other hand coming up to wrap around your shoulder now as she pressed herself to you.

"W-Wait, I'm not clean—" she silenced you with a kiss, pressing even closer, not at all caring about your state.

"You think that matters to me when I asked you to come straight to me without washing up?~" she whispered against your lips.

She then held your hand more firmly and turned to the side, "Come, the baths have been drawn. You have taken enough care of others, let me return the favor~"

You found no words to deny her, already being led through the Jade Chamber's corridor towards her opulent open bath chamber. Your heart was ready to jump out of your chest as you followed her, in sync with the steps thumping against the wooden floor. The sliding door opened on its own once you were near, and she wasted no time to drag you inside.

You had been here before, of course. It was another place you both had your past.... encounters, albeit not as frequently as her private chambers and office. The steam from the hot bath enveloped the area, a fruity and calming scent overtaking your senses and immediately relaxing you. Though, the effect was quickly taken away by the woman in front.

Ningguang turned towards you with a smile and came closer, rising her hands to start unbuttoning your shirt with grace and practiced ease. She was in no hurry, taking her time to watch as the fabric came apart and revealed your body. Your face became warmer, though you didn't know if it was from the steam or her actions and presence.

"I-I could have done this myself...." you muttered, pursing your lips in embarrassment.

She smirked, "Hm, I find the process quite enjoyable~"

The last unbutton came off and she soon dragged the shirt down your body then hurled it to some unknown corner. Your breath hitched as you were suddenly exposed to her very watchful gaze, hands instinctively coming up to cover yourself.

"Don't tell me you are still shy when I look at you this way? You should be used to it by now~"

"I.... guess some things never change~"

She hooked a finger in the waistband of your shorts and pulled you closer, her breath caressing your lips as her hands unbuttoned then unzipped the shorts, letting them fall to your ankles. You kicked them away and waited as her hands wrapped around your torso to unhook your bra and discard it, making you shiver once again but she didn't let you cover yourself this time.

"Relax, it's just you and me. I'd hate to miss even a moment of this~" she trailed a finger down your sternum, her gaze falling to the last remaining clothing on you— your underwear.

Surprisingly, she stepped back, giving you breathing space finally. Although, you were ready to brace yourself if she wanted to take off that last item as well.

"Well, I suppose it'll be unfair if you are completely bare before me~"

That made you brace yourself anyways.

She smirked as she noticed your focused gaze. She then turned around and removed her hair pin, letting her silvery locks fall free before gathering them all up into a loose, messy yet somehow elegant bun.

"Mind lending me a hand, Y/n?~" she asked, looking at you over her shoulder.

Your heart almost skipped a beat.

You then nodded and walked closer to her, trembling fingers finding the delicate knots and ties of her qipao without any aid. Indeed, you had undressed her from this very qipao numerous times by now that it became muscle memory. She shrugged off the qipao and let it pool around her feet before stepping out of it and turning around to meet your gaze.

That's when you noticed she wasn't wearing a bra, just a black lace underwear.

"Seems we are even now~" she mused as her lips curled up.

You let out a sigh, "When did you even plan all this....?"

She chuckled as her hands hooked under the waistband of her own underwear, your breath catching in your throat as you watched her slide it down then discard it with the rest of the clothes.

"Would you believe me if I said.... right from the moment you left that day?~"

You chuckled, removing your own underwear now.

"I would. I know you well, after all~"

"Good." she closed the distance between you two, hands lacing with yours, "Then you should know what I'm going to do next~"

With a gentle tug, she pulled you along as she walked backwards, stepping inside the warm bath together. The scalding water instantly reinvigorated your skin, but the sight of the woman in front of you was far more stimulating. With a harsher tug, she pinned you to the bath's edge, the marble biting in your back for a brief second. She caged you from front, palms laying flat on your stomach, teasingly caressing along the lines of your abs.

"Well, this is certainly more relaxing than the sea...." you commented with a chuckle, before holding back your breath as she came closer. Her breasts pressed flat against yours as her arms went around your body, gently embracing you. You instinctively relaxed, shoulders loosening, your own arms wrapping around her as you rested your head on her shoulder with a sigh. One hand tenderly laced through your hair, grasping the strands and massaging your head.

"Didn't know I really needed this...." you whispered, making her softly chuckle.

"Mhm, of course you didn't. Since when have you expressed your own desires, Traveller?~"

You pouted, "You aren't one to talk when you faint from overworking."

"Hmm, but working hard for Liyue is one of my desires~"

You sighed, nuzzling your face into her neck.

"Are you really okay now? Did you follow all instructions Baizhu gave?"

She smiled, "Indeed, you can cross-check with Ganyu or others if you don't believe me~"

"No need, I can tell you are indeed better. But you know you have to keep this up otherwise something worse can happen...."

"I'm aware, I won't let it come to that."

"You better not. Or I'll come in the blink of an eye no matter what corner of Teyvat I am in."

She chuckled, tightening her hold in your hairstrands, "Is that so? I'm quite tempted to see that now. Perhaps I should.... pretend to fall sick just to see how fast you'll come flying through Teyvat for me~"

You scoffed, "Ah yes, how amusing to see me panic and fly across nations."

She smirked, "It would send quite a strong message to other nations. The esteemed Traveller flashes across Teyvat for the Tianquan of Liyue....~"

Her fingers trailed lazily down the nape of your neck, cool and gentle despite the heat of the water. “Imagine the stories.” she continued, voice low and coaxing, “Diplomats scrambling, envoys whispering, wondering just what kind of hold I must have on you~”

You rolled your eyes with a grin, “As if you don’t already enjoy that enough.”

You raised your head from her shoulder to look at her, her other hand coming up to cup your face now as her expression suddenly turned more mischievous.

"How can I resist when you wear my marks like a badge of honor for days while out in public and exposed?~"

Her eyes briefly glanced on your collarbone, the place she had bit you that day which had faded now. Your face flushed at the sudden remembrance, pouting more and looking away.

"It wasn't on purpose; you did it at such a spot...."

She smirked and gripped your chin, pulling your face towards herself to look into your eyes.

"Strategic placement. It served it's purpose quite well, didn't it?~"

You groaned in protest, about to retaliate when she moved closer. Her leg teasingly slid over your calf under the water, thigh nudging between your legs. A shiver ran through you at the closeness, your eyes lingering on her inviting red lips.

"Hmm.... finally letting your desires come through, Traveller?~" she brought her face closer, lips just inches away from yours.

You pout again then suddenly still as her hand caressed your cheek soothingly, exhaustion falling on you at her comforting touch. She smiled looking at your drooping eyes, her hand slowly trailing down to your neck as her finger traced a scar on your chest.

"This.... wasn't here the last time we met." she stated softly, akin to a whisper. "Is this from the war in Natlan?"

Your eyes lowered for a moment then you nodded, "Yes, when I fought the Abyss invasion...."

Her eyes narrowed briefly, then she moved her hand up to cup your face again. There was so much she wanted to say, but she knew it would all be futile, and she knew that you knew what she wanted to say. All she could do was accept the way things were, and provide you respite. She smiled again then leaned in and placed her lips on your forehead, a touch so soothing that it sent shivers down your spine. Her other arm looped around your neck as her lips moved down to kiss your nose, then cheeks, then finally your own lips.

She possessively held your face with her free hand as you kissed, lips moving in perfect harmony with slow, gentle movements that spoke all your thoughts and desires. Your arms pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. She softly moaned into the kiss, parting her mouth to let her tongue explore with yours, engaging in a sensual dance. Ningguang somehow pressed even closer to your body, wrapping both arms around your neck and holding you tight as your lips remained locked. It felt as if she was conveying all her emotions through this single exchange.

You parted with a soft gasp, panting together as you regained your breaths. Her ruby eyes gazed at you with utmost need, a reverent lust hidden in their depths that she was trying her best to hold back. Without warning, she dived in to trail kisses along your neck. You tilted your head back with a soft whimper, her lips travelling to each corner she could find, kissing and lightly sucking on every spot with devotion. Your breath hitched when you felt her tongue lap up on some spots, especially giving attention to the scar she had found.

"N-Ningguang.... mmh~"

She latched her lips to the center of your neck, teeth lightly grazing as she sucked on the spot to leave a mark. She looked satisfied seeing the swollen red mark glisten on your skin, her tongue darting out to soothe it.

"Every time you come with new scars and wounds.... and you have the audacity to scold me for overextertion, hm?~" she teased with a hum, cupping your face once again.

"Both are different things, you know? I heal up quickly, and I'm not exactly a human like you."

Ningguang playfully scoffed, "Hmph, I suppose that makes all the difference. That it justifies how you throw yourselves into danger without inhibitions, that you show up for every battle, every conflict no matter how little it helps your cause...."

You gave a wry smile, sensing her turmoil, "I know you are worried. We have discussed this before. I also worry about you, a lot more than you realize."

She exhaled and pulled you into an embrace again, "I'm aware. Still, some things are difficult to overlook...."

She looked at your face again then shrugged, "But I digress, this is not what I want to discuss at the moment." She smiled and rested her forehead on yours, "I wanted to thank you for the help that day, and simply spend some time with you~"

You smiled in return, "As long as you are fine, nothing else matters."

She twirled your haistrands in her fingers, gazing at you affectionately. Before you knew it, your lips were locked in a heated embrace once again with all other thoughts and worries forgotten. The world melted into warmth and water, her fingers weaving through your hair as your arms tightened around her waist. She parted only to trail kisses down your neck, each contact sending shivers in your body as she moved lower.

Your breath hitched when her hand slid down, tracing your curves before slipping under the water and in between your legs. Her fingers teased along your inner thighs, missing just the spot she knew you wanted it most. Her lips then moved up to lightly nip your earlobe, the water surface stirring slightly with the movement.

"N-Ning.... don't tease me...." your words came as a plead, hips bucking towards her hand.

She chuckled in your ear, her silvery voice making you tremble as it always does.

"It's rare of you to display your desires so openly. Did you perhaps...." she paused, her hand moving to cup your arousal, "....miss me?~"

You let out a muffled whine, biting your lower lip to conceal the sound.

"I.... I did. It felt longer than usual this time."

Ningguang's eyes widened briefly at your unexpected confession, her smirk going wider.

"Oh my, you are being rather pliant today. I wonder, will I be able to make you beg if I edge you a little longer?~"

You purse your lips then looked at her with hooded eyes, "P-Please...."

Her eyes darkened with lust as her restraint snapped at your pleading look and submissive tone.

She pushed you further on the edge as she lunged to capture your lips in a searing kiss, impatient and hungry, before parting with a gasp and nuzzling in your neck.

"How unfair to show this side to me now...." she whispered against your neck, her tongue darting out to lick up a strip. "But, you are in luck that I missed you just as much, if not more. And I want you, badly."

She punctuated her claim by sinking her teeth in your shoulder, earning a pleasured hiss from you. Her hand cupping your arousal started rubbing along your folds now, thumb circling the clit while the fingers teased your entrance.

"Although, I suppose I can drag on the torment a while longer, hm?~"

She grinned and teased her finger around your entrance more while constantly rubbing your clit at the same slow pace.

"N-Ning.... please...." you pleaded, hands grabbing her shoulders.

"Speak up, my dear. We have always been honest with each other, haven't we?~" she nipped your earlobe more, her free hand coming up to toy with your erect nipple.

"Mmh— please, g-give it to me.... I can't wait anymore!~" you outright begged, having had enough of this torment.

She smirked more then plunged 2 fingers inside you at once. You gasped and bucked into her, your head falling back at the sudden intrusion but there was no pain, only pleasure.

"As wet and possessive as I remember. Although, I'll give credit to the bath for the former~" she chuckled then pressed her lips to yours in a passionate kiss, her fingers curling inside you to hit your sensitive spots. You moaned into the kiss as her fingers ravished you, pumping in and out at a steady pace and scraping all the right spots. It was no wonder she knew your pleasure spots so well, she had learnt them after just the first time.

She released the kiss with a gasp and nipped your jaw and neck, pressing herself flush to you as her fingers didn't stop their relentless assault. She smirked watching you come undone, her desire fueling further. She scissored her fingers inside you, curling them and scraping all parts she could, pumping her fingers fasters now to hit the places that made your eyes go wide.

"Oh, how I missed this marvelous sight. Still so responsive to me, clenching me for dear life~" she cooed, trailing more kisses on your jaw.

"I.... I'm close.... ngh—!~" you whimpered, your head collapsing on her shoulder as your hands wrapped around her.

Ningguang chuckled and hilted her fingers to the base, pumping at a fast rate and finally drawing out your release by pinching your clit one last time. Your hips bucked into her palm, your body trembling all over from the force of your orgasm before resting on her shoulder. She pulled out her fingers once you came down from your high, bringing her hand out of the water to look at it.

"Mm, shame I couldn't taste you. But, I suppose there's plenty of chances later~"

She caressed your head and kissed your temple, simply holding you in bliss with just your ragged breaths filling the space.

"Come now, let me wash you up."

"No, wait, let me do—"

"Shh~" she placed her index finger on your lips, "I know you want to do the same for me, and trust me, you will. After all, I never leave favours unclaimed, do I?~"

You pouted, "I know, but...."

She chuckled and playfully tapped your nose, "Patience, my darling. Let me take care of you before you render me immobile~"

Your face flushed at that, knowing well what she meant. She then moved to the side to grab shampoo and soap and started applying them on your hair and back, gently massaging all over your body and cleaning you. You felt relaxed and rejuvenated in no time, leaning into her touch to enjoy the soothing sensations. You offered to clean her in return once you were done, but she declined saying she only wanted to do it for you.

"Let me massage your shoulders at least, you must be tired from working all day." you insisted.

She smiled and pecked your cheek, "Don't worry about me, I have access to such services plenty. I arranged this exclusively for you today, to thank you for everything you have done."

"I'm grateful but I also feel bad.... Let me repay you in some capacity, please?"

Ningguang could sense the guilt in your tone and expression, her ruby eyes softening into a look of tender affection. She cupped your face with both hands, "Well, I do have some ways in mind. Would you like to know?~"

You blushed then eagerly nodded, she chuckled and pecked your lips then guided you out of the bath. She wrapped a towel around you and helped you dry up before leading you to her private chambers. Before you knew it, you were pushed on the bed with her straddling your hips as she claimed your lips in a passionate kiss, both of you still naked and fresh from the bath.

"Mmm, you wanted to repay me? Now's your chance~" she murmured after the kiss, sitting up on your lap to gaze at you.

She smirked and moved behind slightly, spreading your legs open then intertwining them with hers in a scissor formation. You perched up on your elbows seeing what she had in mind, bracing yourself for the onslaught of pleasure she was going to bring. She grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, your cores pressing together as a moan echoed in the room.

"Remain still before I let you take the reins, is that clear, my darling?~"

She asked with a tilt of her head and a mischieous smile on her face, all you could do was accept your predicament.

Her hips began moving with yours in a slow, sensual rhythm. Your folds rubbed against each other, already coated with slick. She let out a pleasured hum feeling her clit bump with yours, throwing her head back as she gradually rolled her hips faster. You moaned in unison as the friction increased and hit you in all the right spots, fingers clenching the bedsheet as you thrusted up from your end. A throathy gasp escaped her at the sudden jerk, her eyes locking on yours with a lustful gaze.

"Bold.... mmh... I told you to remain still, didn't I? Already disobeying me— aah?~"

"Hah.... you like it when I do, don't y— ngh!~" you whined when she gave a harsh thrust forward, your head shooting back.

Her smirk widened watching you writhe, her hips moving faster and harder as she sought her release. Your folds glided over each other's at a tortorous rate, clits hitting at angles you wanted and didn't want. She was doing this intentionally, denying you the pleasure you wanted as punishment. Your fingers clenched the bedsheet tighter as you fought the urge to thrust up again, desperately holding back to obey her.

"Good girl.... hmm.... s-see how easy it is to obey?~"

Her voice faltered in between between breathy. She pulled your leg higher and placed it on her shoulder before moving closer, angling her hips in a different way before joining your cores together and consistently rubbing them. You whimpered from the sudden surge in friction, chasing your own release with her.

"That's it.... mhm.... stay this way— oh, Archons!~" she gritted through her teeth, grinding your cores faster as she found the angle and rhythm that hit best.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you approached your release. A final thrust and press was all it to for you both to unravel together, sharp moans reveberating in the bedchambers as she rolled her hips one last time. You stayed connected as you panted, catching your breaths before she laid on top of you. Her hands grabbed your face then pulled you into a tender kiss, basking in the afterglow of shared ecstasy.

"You did so good for me, my sweet~" she whispered after the kiss, "Would you like your reward now?~"

You chuckled after letting out a deep breath, "There's more?~"

She smirked in return, "Mmm, the main one is yet to be unwrapped~" she nipped your lower lip before standing up from the bed.

"Be a dear and fetch it from the cupboard, will you?~"

You raised an eyebrow in confusion but did as told, walking to her cupboard and rummaging through it for a moment.

"What am I supposed to fi—" your words were held in your throat as your hands grabbed something unexpected, but not unknown. She smirked seeing your shocked expression and watched as you brought the object out.

"This is it. Wear it and come here."

It was a strap-on. You should have known this is what she meant.

You wasted no time to fasten it around your waist, blushing a little looking at it around you.

"Come now." she beckoned you with a crook of her finger. You walked towards her and were about to hold her when she acted faster, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you down once again. You had no time to react as she already climbed on top, settling just a few inches shy from the toy.

"Now, I trust you know what to do?~"

You nodded in a daze, watching her rise on her knees then slowly sink on the length. The glide happened rather easily, thanks to her being drenched from the previous release. She grinded her hips around once it was fully inside, accomodating the pleasurable stretch.

"Mmm, perfect.... Enjoy the show~" she braced her hands on your chest as she started rising up and down the toy, her hips slapping against your thighs obscenely.

Your hands instinctively held her waist, helping her move along. Her head fell back with an arch of her spine as she rocked her hips faster, riding you with increasing fervor as the pleasure slowly built. Her body undulated above you in a sensual rhythm, "Mmm.... yes—hah—yes.... this is it!~" She panted in a breathy tone, her hips continuing to bounce and grind with reckless abandon.

The bed creaked from her frantic pace, her hands digging in your shoulders as she held you for leverage. It was truly the best reward she saved for the end, knowing well how much you liked it. You gave gentle thrusts from your end in sync with her own, creating a perfect harmony of skin slapping against skin as she chased her release. Her walls tightened around the toy as if to milk you, bouncing at an even greater pace.

"Close.... so close— oh yes!~" she moaned in ecstasy, collpasing on you to hold you tightly as you helped with the final thrusts, holding her as she finally unraveled. Her breathy moan was music to your ears, her body trembling all over from the force of the powerful orgasm.

"Hmm.... I don't suppose you are satisfied with just that, are you?~" she whispered, lightly biting your collarbone.

Throughtout the night, the symphony of bodies clashing against each other and moans bouncing off the walls continued in the Jade Chamber until neither of you could anymore.

Soft rays of the sun fell on your face next morning, opening your eyes to find yourself entangled on the ruined sheets with her. Bites, scratches and lipstick marks adorned your body, smiling to yourself as memories of the previous night played out. Ningguang stirred beside you, her arms holding you tighter as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Good morning, my dear~" she whispered and pecked your lips. "I hope last night's compensation was satisfactory?~"

You blushed for a second then smirked, "Hmm, what if it wasn't? Do I get more?~"

Ningguang smirked in return as if she anticipated you'd say that.

"In that case...." she trailed off and summoned a scroll from thin air, holding it towards you, "Perhaps we should discuss a.... long term investment plan?~"

Ah, this sly woman. You were not surprised she took your earlier suggestion for a contract seriously.... Not that you were complaining~

[cripplecharacters]

i want to give one of my characters narcolepsy, she already has a job(she works at a combination flower shop/coffee shop) and i was wondering how it would affect her work? like work hours, amount/length of breaks, what type of work would best and if she would even be allowed to work cuz i know certain disabilities make it so you cant work. (i apologize if this is insensitive or ableist in any way)

Hello!

As a disclaimer: we don't have any mods with confirmed narcolepsy atm. I don't have narcolepsy but I do have a sleep disorder that presents similarly. If any of our followers have narcolepsy, please feel free to chime in!

She would still be able to work, though there will be jobs where she won't be permitted to work such as those involving heavy machinery.

The setting that you described (The flower/coffee shop) doesn't seem like it would be any problem and accommodations for her would be pretty simple to implement!

For me, I'm lucky enough that my job is already structured in a pretty accessible way for me. I usually work anywhere from 1-3 hours at a time, which means I can rest/nap before and after as needed. Because of the nature of my job (I'm a transcriber and switch on/off with my coworker every 1000 words), I'm also able to get up and stretch or take a quick walk if needed.

Something similar might be beneficial for your character! Maybe instead of having one hour long break, for example, they can have four fifteen minute breaks.

A flower shop is also a good setting to be able to walk around as needed. If they're starting to get tired and know that movement will help them, they can easily switch to another task that's more physically demanding such as sweeping up fallen leaves, potting plants, making flower arrangements, etc.

The coffee side of things might be a bit more difficult but the same idea applies there too!

Something else I really love about my job is that I'm able to pick my own hours/schedule. For me, I find that I have the most trouble staying awake at around noon so I do my best not to schedule myself during that time.

If your character has the ability to do something similar, that might help!

And as a final note: don't worry about seeming ableist or insensitive! This blog was created as a place for people to ask questions and improve their disabled characters. The fact that you're reaching out for advice and thinking about this stuff is great and your questions are completely reasonable.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[leebrontide]

Hello!

I'm Lee (any pronouns), a middle aged queer writer from the midwest of the US. It's been a bit, so I'm doing another writeblr intro, to find more potential writeblr folks to chat with!

What I write:

- Mostly scifi! I have a bit of fantasy brewing in a collab project, but mostly, scifi.

- Queer stuff. Lots of different types of queerness.

- Community. Both in the group-hugs-and-support variety and the extreme-mess/everybodies-traumas-keep-smashing-into-each-other variety. I have training as a family therapist and am endlessly fascinated by interpersonal dynamics. This is the meat of my work.

- Grounded worldbuilding. My main project right now is near future scifi that diverges from our timeline around 2001. I'm enjoying the hell out of playing the US I know with some very key tweaks that changed society. I know a lot about medical systems, criminal justice systems, and legal systems and like using fantasy and scifi elements to show them as I know them. But like, in a way that should appeal to people who give 0 shits about US institutions.

- Disability stuff. Not that after-school-special shit. I am just tired of characters being generic pretty dolls whose physical attributes don't impact how they move through the world. That means not only writing a variety of different disabilities, but also different bodies. My characters aren't "inspiration porn" or just waiting around for less disabled characters to come save them. They are messy, with a wide array of relationships to their limitations and the things they use to cope with those limitations.

- YA into new adult. Not exclusively, but mostly. I really like taking characters from YA into early adulthood. Not just a standard coming-of-age arc, but the actually moving from a self-concept of a dependent teen into someone with legal responsibility for themselves, jobs, college, etc. Especially when combined with all of the above. I love a nice long character arc with lots of sub-arcs along the way.

What I have out, now.

- I have two books out so far, Secondhand Origin Stories and Names in Their Blood. I'm working on book 3 in that planned 5 book series now, which is currently titled Brittle Idols.

- I have a free monthly newsletter called Shed Letters where I talk about psychology, tech, queerness, storytelling, and the creative process, plus whatever random topic I've been researching for my books recently. Also contains pictures of my three very photogenic cats.

- Newsletter subscribers also have access to a novella I wrote that goes between Secondhand Origin Stories and Names in Their Blood, that's about an fictional AI (the only kind I like) trying to decide on a body for themself.

- I also draw and animate, with my first and still in-progress animation project being a "trailer" for Secondhand Origin Stories.

What I'm looking for

- writeblrs - especially writeblrs that aren't JUST writeblrs. I want to feel like I'm meeting people, at least in some manner, rather than just hearing about a product in process. That doesn't have to mean deep confessions or private information, but honestly I'm not likely to remember you for your writing project alone. Sorry. Please show me what else you care about!

- Bonus points for queer or disabled scifi or fantasy writers.

- I am white for most intents and purposes but I always want to find more AOC who write sci fi.

- Also always excited to meet more YA authors- especially the currently kinda sidelined YA scifi.

- People who care about where society is going but aren't posting that everything is doomed and pointless. I mean you post whatever you want but I don't need that on my dash. That shit is not helping me help.

I sometimes do ask games? It's fun when I have the time. It'd be fun to have more folks to do them with, provided those folks are patient.

Please interact if this has piqued your interest!

[neutralmonster]

I’m trying to think of what a good Boys-style Spider-Man parody looks like, and I think there’s four problems any writer immediately faces.

Spider-Man’s powers aren’t especially scary on their own. putting aside webshooters (which are primarily defensive anyway): Peter is super-agile, super-strong, and super-sticky, and he’s got “spider-sense”… and that’s kinda it. if Peter was one of Butcher’s targets, it wouldn’t be that hard to just break into his home while he’s sleeping and shoot him in the head. contrast with the archetypes that Superman and Flash represent, where those guys could legitimately kill you by sheer random accident.

if you want to use Spider-Man to represent the idea of Teen Superheroes, then you’re better off riffing on Robin or the Silver Age X-Men, who actually are kinda child-soldiers. Peter was notable at the time for specifically being a teen superhero who wasn’t subordinate to any authority figure. (there’s room for a parody of MCU Spider-Man here, “oh look at you needing Iron Man and Nick Fury and Doctor Strange and the other films’ Spider-Men and now Punisher apparently to prop you up”, but that’s not a problem for really any other version of the character).

the fact that The Boys’ universe lacks any real supervillains really throws a wrench into things. Spider-Man was designed for an urban environment, so Vought can’t go out and send him to fight in a war or whatever. he’s very easy to kill once you remove plot-armor! at his core, he’s a street-level hero, and those don’t make sense in a quasi-realistic universe where you can just shoot Kingpin in the head. (plus, no supervillains means you as a writer can’t comment on Venom, the death of Gwen Stacy, the Clone Saga, etc.)

finally, when you combine Spider-Man’s conceptual overlap with Superman, and the fact that Superman is still (incorrectly IMO) thought of as THE standard-bearer for the superhero genre… it just makes sense to say, “screw it, Superman fits the point I’m trying to make better”. (it helps that, thanks to stuff like Pre-Crisis Superboy and the Smallville show, you can comment on teen superheroes using Superman, so you don’t even need Spidey for that).

there should be a lot more Spider-Man deconstructions in general, considering his popularity far outpaces Superman. (Superman has struggled since the late 80s to have one successful film series; meanwhile, Spider-Man is holding down TWO). and obv there are good Spider-Man parodies out there… but The Boys as a series is just incapable of accommodating the character in any meaningful sense.

I feel like it's probably reflective of.... something that The Boys (Amazon) couldn't really come up with anything more interesting to do in their Spider-Man parody than just having him be some random junkie. The comic notably didn't even really try anything of substance at all, and in the context of the show's nothingburger take on the archetype that feels like a very deliberate exclusion

[opashoo]

I've been thinking after seeing some of your stuff on slugcat / scavenger cuisine; what would they use for food storage and dinnerware?

I imagine clay and glass wouldn't be viable for most as kilns or furnaces would be exceedingly difficult to operate outside of anywhere but atop iterator cans, and the lack of sediment around iterators would mean raw materials would have to be transported long distances there.

My guess would be a combination of carved roots for most bowls and cutlery and pieces shells or carapace for anything that needs to be in contact with fire (Centipede plates would make for good grilling surfaces although pots are a different beast).

So this is a multipart answer that I want to answer first with how fire and wood are handled in Undergrowth. So Undergrowth specifically takes place during the time of blizzards, so by this time, kilns and furnaces are possible to use, but they definitely wouldn't have been viable for those living inside retaining walls when rains were prominent. Outside the retaining walls is a different story depending on the stability of the ground and how much rainfall it gets. I'm personally of the believe that not all the lands between retaining walls was devastated by the iterators, but it was unlivable specifically for the ancients, who were much more accustomed to more infrastructure.

That aside, from what I imagine, slugcats and scavengers, at least anthro ones, actually have access to both fire and wood, or at least something like it. Even during the time of rains, gathering and preparing wood was its own skill and profession, and a very important one. I also have considered the possibility of wormgrass as a stand-in for an abundant woody resource. In Undergrowth, wormgrass can be cut, then shaped, and dried and treated by fire in order to harden it into a sort of reedy, woody material like bamboo, able to be shaped into all kinds of things. For any peoples who don't have access to actual trees for wood, this treated wormgrass could be used to make things like cups and utensils, and some other tools, infrastructure, and construction, like tents, back looms, stakes, etc. Several strips of treated wormgrass could be woven together in order to make some kind of steaming basket. I even imagine that texts are traditionally written on slats of worm grass that are tied together and rolled up like scrolls.

Other materials for utensils would probably include things derived from animal parts. A snail shell broken or sawed in half and fitted with handles could very easily serve as a soup pot. Real people have historically shaped all kinds of tools out of bones and skulls, slugcats and scavengers could do the same. And you are definitely right on centipede shells, those things could very easily serve as grilling surfaces or hotplates. There's all kinds of things available, even for peoples to whom things like metal and clay aren't readily available.

[radiaking]

i think sometimes fandom talks about barb as if coop is still in love w/her and that if g.houlcy is a thing by the time they catch up w/barb, if they catch up w/barb that it'll like?? make things weird or smth. and i mean. i'm not saying it wouldn't be some kinda awkward or uncomfy but like. it would be uncomfy whether g.houlcy happens or not. bc coop hasn't seen barb presumably in 220+ years. that's going to be fucking weird. but not like because of him being w/lucy. i just don't really see there being some unresolved tension or smth btwn coop/barb whether there's still love for barb or not (i think there is it's just not that kind of love)

but i think what bothers me most about this mindset is like. as fucking if lucy would be like. doing anything that would make that situation any more uncomfy than it already would be, y'know? like idt she's gonna be hanging on his arm while he goes to confront his ex-wife after 220 years trying to find out what happened to her/where she is. and idt lucy would even feel any sort of way about like. that whole situation. like if they're a thing by then and if she cares about him in any sort of way, i just don't really see her trying to get involved in any of that confrontation whatsoever. but idk. ig we'll see

[protoindoeuropean]

Photos of a bronze armillary sphere with three layers of rotating rings on an equatorial set up. The sphere is supported by three legs in a row, all decorated with detailed ornamentation and dragon figures. The text on the granite base is in Slovene and Mandarin Chinese (translation and originals under read more↓).

The astronomical instrument (an equatorial armillary sphere) that was unveiled on 6 February 2024 in front of the Archives of the Republic of Slovenia in Ljubljana – facing the location of the old Jesuit college, where its conceptor first received his education – is a full-scale replica of the original, finished in 1754, still in place at the Beijing Ancient Observatory in China.

Ferdinand Avguštin Haller von Hallerstein, known also by his Chinese name Liú Sōnglíng (劉松齡; simplified: 刘松龄) was born in 1703, received Jesuit education in Ljubljana, Vienna and Graz and arrived in Beijing in 1739 as a missionary, set to work at the Imperial Astronomical Bureau (which had been run by the Jesuits since 1669). In 1746 he succeeded the office of the head of the bureau and ran it until his death in 1774 – longer than any of his predecessors. He died soon after a stroke he reportedly suffered upon hearing the news that the Pope had disbanded the Jesuit order (in 1773; that suppression was later lifted in 1814).

Beside the astronomical work (published as Observationes astronomicæ), he also worked as a cartographer (creating a map of Macao and its environs, of Manchuria and contributing to the Jesuit Atlas of China) and is noted for making the first exact estimate of the Chinese population (calculated to have been 196,837,977 in 1760 and 198,214,624 in 1761).

Astronomical instruments at the Beijing Ancient Observatory. Hallerstein's armillary sphere is in the foreground. {x} • {x}

The armillary sphere is one of a kind, combining Chinese and European astronomical knowledge as requested by the Qiánlóng Emperor (乾隆帝), who wanted to both honor the tradition of his ancestors and make the instrument as accurate as possible by the standards of the time. The instrument is 3.7 m long, 2.1 m wide and 3.3 m high. It is made of bronze and weighs more than 5 tons. Its replica is made of the same material and is of the same size, built in China using 3D-scanning technology and later transported to Slovenia, and is also fully functional. The design of the original instrument started in 1744 and when it was finished 10 years later, it was considered the pinnacle of Chinese astronomical science as well as artistic craftsmanship.

The Astronomical Instrument was conceived by Augustin Ferdinand Hallerstein (*1703 Ljubljana, †1774 Beijing), a Slovene Jesuit, astronomer, mathematician, cartographer and diplomat, during the time he lived in Qing China. The original stands at the Beijing Ancient Obsevatory. The replica of the instrument is a gift of the Embassy of the People's Republic of China as an incentive for the continuation of cultural exchange between Slovenia and China. Urban Municipality of Ljubljana, 2022

Zvezdni opazovalnik je v času dinastije Qing med svojim življenjem na Kitajskem zasnoval Auguštin Ferdinand Hallerstein (Ljubljana 1703–1774 Peking), slovenski jezuit, astronom, matematik, kartograf in diplomat. Izvirnik stoji na Starem pekinškem astronomskem observatoriju. Repliko opazovalnika je podarilo Veleposlaništvo LR Kitajske kot spodbudo za nadaljevanje kulturnih stikov med Slovenijo in Kitajsko. Mestna občina Ljubljana, 2022

玑衡抚辰仪 值此中华人民共和国同斯洛文尼亚共和国建交30周年，中国驻斯洛文尼亚大使馆和北京天文馆特赠天文观测仪器玑衡抚辰仪同比例复制品，以兹纪念。玑衡抚辰仪由斯洛文尼亚人刘松龄 (1703–1774) 在华担任清朝钦天监监正期间主持制造，原件陈列于北京古观象台。 二〇二二年

(for the latter, thanks go to this anon!!)

[connormoving]

i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

[akaluan]

Tanya the Evil always gives me Emotions when I try to read it, which does make it harder to get thru each book despite how much I love it, but I think I've made a Mistake by trying to read it while listening to Sabaton's "The War to End All Wars" album.

Y'all, I hit the song Versailles while reading Tanya's internal monologue about the cost of war while she was in the mop up of Operation Lock Pick. Y'ALL, when I say I had Too Many Emotions to continue reading, especially while on an airplane surrounded by strangers, I mean I had SO MANY EMOTIONS.

[marzipanandminutiae]

thinking about the infantiliztation and/or formalization of 19th-century women's clothing to modern audiences

like

our entire reference point for "wearing long skirts and outfits with decoration like lace, embroidery, appliques, etc." is either formalwear or fictional characters in children's media like Disney princesses. women's clothing is just so radically different now- not that those elements don't exist, but they're much less common in everyday clothing than they once were. some form of simple trousers and an equally simple top are de rigeur for everyday attire, and anything else is Fancy

combined with the fact- which is true! -that a lot of what survives to end up in big museums belonged to wealthy people, this ends up in wild assumptions like "basically our entire idea of what the Victorians dressed like is just Rich People Clothes really"

which has led to the eternal cry of "but what did NORMAL people wear?!?!?!" that will not be satisfied with real examples of middle or even working-class everyday clothing because it still looks too "fancy" to modern eyes

not Victorian, but a great example of this is what Abby Cox wore to portray a milliner (hatmaker) in Colonial Williamsburg. a working, middle-class woman:

(ignore the facial expression there)

this is the exact outfit she sported in a video that apparently got responses like "but that's just what rich women wore!" and it is, in fact, everyday attire for a working person. a person who worked in the fashion industry, it's true, but still

I had someone ask me about how to find examples of casual Victorian clothing because they were at their wits' end trying to research it. and I had to tell them that...what they were looking at WAS casual. in the sense of Clothing For Everyday Wear That's Not Especially Formal. there's nothing inherently formal, or exclusive to the wealthy, about a matched bodice-and-skirt dress, instep-length, with some trim. or even a trimmed blouse and skirt. obviously women working the absolute hardest outdoor, physical jobs might have adopted occupational trousers or similar, but we don't all dress like construction or farm workers all the time nowadays. why would they have back then?

Laundresses, probably 1850s or early 60s. Note that I can STILL date the picture based on their outfits and hair, and these are the furthest things from wealthy socialites.

Maid scrubbing steps, probably 1870s or 1880s. Note pleated trim on her skirt and what appears to be a peplum at the back of her bodice.

also, not all working women worked physical jobs any more than we do today. here is a teacher around the turn of the 20th century:

Teachers, 1887

"Breton Seamstresses," 1845, by Jules Trayer

were there differences in quality, type and quantity of trim, fit, etc? obviously. but some people are convinced that the basic outfit format can't POSSIBLY have been something ordinary women wore, because it looks formal and/or princess-y in a modern context

[spicymancer]

Somethin I've noticed about your designs is that you've got a fair number of big boys (large, muscular, chunky etc.) but most of your female characters tend to stay pretty thin and lithe, with the biggest they get being kinda muscular.

Do you have any intention of adding some big girls to your cast?

I have a few! Though you're right, the percentage disparity is pretty telling.

To be honest, it's absolutely a weakness of my character design sensibilities, and I'm doing my best to improve. I really should draw more varied body types.

To look inward for a moment, I suspect that I'm experiencing a bit of a brain poison feedback loop. Drawing is, on one level, a leisure activity I do to have fun, and on another level a Job that do for Money. Both having fun and making money are important for surviving in the Capitalist Hellscape we all occupy.

When it comes to leisure, I obviously tend to draw inside of my comfort zone. I learned to draw by mimicking artists that I admired growing up and comic/manga art has historically not been great about body diversity. This then reinforces the feedback loop of mostly drawing one kind of face or body type. (in this case: cute anime girls) A common artistic bad-habit exemplified here in this Nozaki Kun comic.

(Monthly Girls Nozaki Kun is incredibly good and a little too real)

Combined with the fact that being less practiced at drawing outside of my comfort zone, makes these designs end up taking more work to match the quality bar I have set for my work, this in turn means that it's more of a struggle to build up those muscles and bring those characters to the point where I'm happy with their design, which then makes that sort of drawing feel discouragingly like Work. Even if it's work that's worth doing (which it absolutely is)!

On the "monetary" side, I've built my audience on the characters I find easy to draw and so many of them expect/want me to draw more of that sort of thing. And having built an audience that desires that thing, they are often less engaged by things outside of that. Not to mention the economic strain of posts that do poorly will affect how much money I make in a given month.

This isn't limited to "bigger women" but a lot of MxM stuff I draw tends to do poorly in my algorithm, discouraging me from drawing more of it even when I want to! This phenomena is probably worst for folks on Youtube who are DEEPLY punished by the algorithm for daring to make videos outside of their established niche. ("You're a videogame content creator, how DARE you have an opinion on BOOKS")

This is all to say that I am grateful for you reaching out and expressing interest in seeing more variety and it's a good reminder to expand my artistic horizons a little more. Nothing is for everybody and there's definitely sections of my lovely audience who are underserved by these absences.

For more thoughts on this sort of discussion: there's some excellent TBskyen posts on this subject.

In addition I'd like to shout out artists like @jam-etc and @lillhappycloud who draw incredibly fantastic and appealing bodies of all kinds!

I hope you'll bear with me as I work to improve while probably still drawing a lot of my Usual Stuff. I'll now leave you with a relevant Princess Bride Quote.

Best Wishes.

[honeytonedhottie]

how to curate ur own skincare routine (a guide)⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🛁💕

welcome to honey's beauty school where we'll learn about how to take care of and beautify ourselves 💖, today's topic SKINCARE. this is going to be structured as an informative post and after you read this you'll be ready to build a skincare routine thats gonna give you fabulous results...💬🎀

KNOW YOUR SKIN TYPE ;

literally the most important aspect of skincare and if u have never gotten into skincare before, THIS is where you start. knowing ur skin type is the foundation on which u can start building a routine and learning about whats best for your skin.

theres oily, combination, dry, sensitive and normal skin types. another thing that is crucial to know before building a skincare routine is skin conditions. (eg. pimples, rashes, inflammatory etc) if ur unsure about any of these things consult a dermatologist or conduct some of ur own research and determine both ur skin type and any skin conditions before we go any further.

SKINCARE ORDER ;

oil cleanser -> reg cleanser -> exfoliator -> toner -> serum -> moisturizer -> SPF. of course you don't have to do ALL of these every single day, but if you have everything in this line-up you should be good. im a firm believer in minimalistic skincare because thats what gave me the best results. simplicity is the highest form of luxury.

but yeah as long as u have everything mentioned here you should be good, just use it as needed. but the order in which u apply ur skincare is SO so important. because products have different molecular sizes that penetrate at different depths in the skin. some little things that can help ur products soak into ur skin better can include ->

waiting 45 seconds between steps so that the product u just applied can soak into ur skin

SPF daily (non-negotiable)

morning routine (simple and gentle preferably) evening routine (stronger and more repair focused)

in regards to the last bullet point, im going to explain why i think of morning and evening skincare routines in the way that i do. first of all, its just not practical to be putting on lots of skincare in the morning. like theres no reason you should be oil cleansing in the morning unless u slept with makeup on your face which you should NOT be doing anyways.

second of all, using stronger more repair focused skincare in the evening means that those products can soak into your skin overnight and you'll wake up all glowy and pretty. plus walking around all day with a face that feels heavy and greasy from skincare products just doesn't sound pleasant whatsoever.

also if u use an exfoliant during your morning skincare and then you go out into the sun, thats just a wicked combo and your gonna be all irritated and in pain and its just not hot...💬🎀

DOUBLE CLEANSING ;

double cleansing is the proper way to wash ur face. oil cleanser breaks down the dirt and oils from the day and regular cleansers clean you off after and give u that squeaky clean finish. it's literally just (oil cleanser -> reg cleanser -> clean face)

when it comes to oil cleansing, you have plenty of options. micellar water, oil cleanser, cleansing balm. for regular cleansers theres gel cleansers, hydrating/exfoliating cleansers and everything in between. for the second cleanse, go with whatever option is suited to your specific needs.

AS A COMBINATION SKIN GIRLIE...

as a combination skin girly i tend to go for oil cleansers thats very light like the CENTELLA light cleansing oil. then i'll use a very mild cleanser...💬🎀

like the heartleaf anua cleanser or the ceraVe facial foaming cleanser depending on what my skin needs that day. its all about balance when you have combination skin because u dont wanna over-strip the dry parts of your skin or leave the oily zones greasy. i rly love hydrating toners and a lightweight serum in a rotation, like yess ma'am.

(hyaluronic acid, niacinimade etc) nothing too much just products that are there to maintain my skin barrier and keep my skin healthy and happy. and when it comes to moisturizing i love water based moisturizers (i use the tatcha water cream oil-free pore minimizing refillable moisturizer). its so lightweight but gives me such a JUICY and glassy finish. and for sunscreen i use the beauty of joseon rice sunscreen because it doesn't leave a white cast and it has enough SPF in it.

FINAL THOUGHTS ;

skincare doesn't have be twelve steps long to be effective. to do skincare properly is to know what your skin needs and to be consistent. its actually really easy once you have those two things. take your time, learn ur skin and treat it with love. stay glowy, xoxo, beauty professor honey 🍯

[housemdork]

just some hilson thoughts in these trying times

all of these things i think about constantly & fondly and exist in my mind as true canon:

house has been interested/obsessed with wilson since the second he saw him; the divorce papers ordeal combined with wilson looking like he did in 1991 sent the bisexual alarm ablaze.

only someone as repressed and clueless as wilson could take "you were the only person who didn't bore me" as a purely platonic statement.

relatedly, i think he was very convinced throughout their time together at the new orleans medical conference that wilson liked men, and only during some horribly awkward flirting attempts house witnessed from afar did house realize that either A) wilson is unfortunately straight or B) he's repressed beyond belief. being so good at reading people, i bet house accurately picks up on the latter.

house playing instruments for wilson is one of their most significant forms of intimacy.

paradoxically, since wilson is very gentle and hands on with just about everyone else in his life (patients included), he never crosses any physical barriers with house as a sign of respect for his boundaries. this goes pretty unnoticed by house until someone points it out - "aren't you guys really close? he's never even given you a pat on the back?"

they don't smoke together very often but they used to and wilson gets incredibly giggly every time, which house loves to see. wilson gets paranoid about drug testing, which sparks an argument about vicodin and double standards. wilson loses the argument every time.

wilson kissed house when they were high exactly one (1) time several years before canon. wilson was so blasted he's convinced himself it was a dream, and house always kept it in his back pocket as a desperate "gotcha" moment for the future. but the memory is too sacred and tender to ruin it by being petulant, so he never brings it up.

HOUSE IS A YEARNER. AT HIS VERY CORE, HE IS A YEARNER. WHEN ALL OF HIS BULLSHIT IS STRIPPED AWAY, HE YEARNS! wilson is better at shoving everything deeper and deeper than house.

through some grand scheming alongside cuddy, it was actually wilson's idea that they have adjoining offices, but he and cuddy worked together to make house think it was his idea and that, by getting the adjoining office, he'd won over the 2 of them.

cuddy is the only person who ever broaches the topic of house's feelings for wilson while she and house are dating. knowing them both as well as she does, she can see some sincerity there. she asks house about it and eventually gets a clipped but genuine answer: "i mean...yeah. sure. but that minefield is so sensitive that even looking at it too closely will start a chain reaction. so no thanks."

thirteen instantly picks up on house and wilson's "deal." like she can't believe it's not outright and obvious to everyone else.

SEASON 8/POST-CANON SPOILERS

i don't think house and wilson die simultaneously. whether out of reverence, grief, or masochism, i think house would try to live without wilson even for just a few hours. then he would be fully in touch with the human experiences he's always avoided/felt alienated from. it would be the final challenge for his atheism to conquer.

while holding fast to the fact that they've never slept together and never will, they get increasingly intimate with one another in those last 5 months. they share a bed, keeping mostly to their respective sides of the mattress, but really ramp up the whole "no social contract" thing. sometimes hands wander and they wake up with gentle touches on their sides, shoulders, etc. house is preparing to lose the only person who even understands his kind of intimacy, while wilson, being someone who seeks it out, struggles with this new arrangement, and all they have is each other atp!

they change how they describe their relationship to strangers while they're on the road. one day they're business partners, another day they're married, then on a first date, then professorial colleagues, then third cousins (wilson hates that one), etc., etc.

even more so than house, wilson likes that he can finally shed off layers of his old identity and feels more authentic than he ever has while road-tripping with house in the end.

i'll probably come back to this list and keep adding but there ya go, those are some of my thoughts :)

[telephoniii]

HEARTSHAPED CHOCOLATES

☆彡 in which you gift jamil a valentine and things get complicated

jamil viper x gn!reader

word counter: 3.1K

warnings: reader is prefect, possible ooc, miscommunication (kinda), descriptions of servitude

a/n: i wrote this at 2AM but i think it's really cute. i’m definitely biased because jamil is my favorite and i do NOT have any valentines this year whatsoever 😭

i hope you enjoy!! :>

Jamil wiped down the counter with a frustrated sigh. Kalim had, once again, gone behind his word and threw a last-minute party. One that Jamil had to do a majority of the work for. And now here he was, cleaning up after the incompetent boy.

Nothing he wasn't used to, but upsetting nonetheless. Though, he supposed that he’d be lying to himself if he claimed it was the only reason he felt bitter. His eyes flickered toward a calendar that hung on the kitchen wall of Scarabia.

Tomorrow, it’d officially be Valentine's Day.

Now, most NRC students were as single as could be for a variety of reasons— being a celebrity, focusing on grades, etc. Jamil fell under the category of being too busy. So many, much more important matters were always fighting for his attention. And a lot of them are related to Kalim in some way or form.

Being a destined servant to the Al Asim household wasn't an ideal situation. Plain and simple. Especially when it came to romantic relationships.

In middle school, young Jamil had a few girls he was interested in. However, all hopes of those crushes blooming into anything more died when they witnessed Jamil and his family bowing down to Kalim.

It's difficult to explain his role to his peers. Of course, the older he got the easier it became. But for most of his childhood, it was extremely embarrassing to have to say that he was to devote his life to serving the Al Asim family forever.

It was humiliating, giving leeway for others his age to look down on him. Now it wasn't just Kalim who he was lesser than. It was everyone. And it was hardly fair. Jamil was smarter than all of them combined.

He caught on to things quickly and was easily adaptable. When learning magic, his movement was calculated and precise. Yet, because of his last name, the respect he deserved was never given… Needless to say, he never pursued any more crushes.

By the time he was enrolled in NRC, romance no longer seemed plausible for his lifestyle. He wouldn't be able to devote so much time to another person other than Kalim anyway. That man-child can barely do anything on his own to save his life.

Jamil was convinced he’d spend the rest of his youth alone, only really finding a potential partner once he was free from the chains of servitude.

…And then you showed up at NRC.

You and your stupid soft eyes; that genuine empathy you carried on your sleeve. It's idiotic, really. You were bound to get taken advantage of in a school like this. Against his better judgment, Jamil felt drawn to you.

Despite being magicless and from a whole other world, you seemed to understand and empathize with his struggles better than those he had grown up with. And you weren't just all bark, no bite. You helped out a lot.

Many can just say that they feel sorry for Jamil, yet stand idly by as he served Kalim. You, however, saw him through his overblot. Instead of moving on, you forced him to communicate with Kalim about how he was feeling. It would've been so easy to fall back into the status quo, yet you stayed and improved his life for the better.

He’ll never quite get how one person could leave such a big impact.

You eased his worries about servitude. Being around you was naturally calming. It didn't feel like he had to babysit when he spent time with you. In fact, he felt as though he was learning new things— about both himself and others— every day with you.

The feeling scared him to his soul.

It was terrifying to be this addicted to another person’s presence. He wasn't used to having someone to look forward to: someone he wanted to be around all the time.

Jamil didn't know whether or not to pursue you. The last thing he wanted was to drag you into more of his messes… however, you seemed to frequently do that yourself, choosing to be involved for his sake. He was truly infatuated.

Despite it all, he refused to make a move.

You weren't from this world and all too soon he was sure you’d find a way back to where you were meant to be. It’d be selfish of him to pursue you, trapping you in a place you didn't belong. He knows the feeling of being trapped all too well after all.

There were no telltale signs you’d be interested in him back anyway. You were friendly with all and close to many. Who’s to say one of those fancy princes or endearingly dumb freshmen isn’t the one who’s captured your heart?

He purposely doesn't stand out, unlike some other students. Jamil assumed this put him at a natural disadvantage.

Assumed being the keyword.

Of course you, always breaking his expectations, had to crumble his thoughts by gifting him chocolates.

~

“Jamil?”

His eyes moved from his textbook to you in a second. He raised a brow as he watched you stare at him with an unrecognizable glint in your eyes. “Did you need help with something, Prefect?”

Those words made you perk up, grounding you back in reality. “No! No. I’m fine. Just…”

Clearing your throat, you put down your pencil. The homework in front of you was long forgotten as you focused your attention mainly on Jamil— much to his confusion.

“Do… Do you have any plans for Valentine's Day?” You cautiously asked, looking at him intently.

He furrowed his brows at the question, thinking it over. “Kalim will most definitely want to throw a party for the occasion. I'll be in charge of the decorations, cooking, and— well, everything as per usual.”

Jamil answered truthfully, not seeing much of a reason not to. Yet, he felt like he answered wrong as his eyes met your deflated gaze.

“Got it… Yeah, that makes sense…”

Before he could invite you to the party— you’re one of the only people he’d happily cook for— you messily started scouring through your bag.

He observed you curiously, mentally noting that he should help you clean out your backpack sometime. I mean, the amount of loose papers you have in there is absurd—

“Here.”

His mind goes quiet as you pull out a small, heart-shaped box and slide it toward him. Jamil looks at you like you are crazy, making you chuckle.

“I was hoping to give it to you on Valentine's Day, if you're busy then, I’d rather do it now and save you the trouble.” How thoughtful of you… His shock was transparent as he struggled to form words.

You didn't know whether or not to take that positively or negatively.

“Uhh—” It was awkward, the air was tense as you swiftly stood up. You flashed him a nervous smile. “I should go check up on Grim… Good seeing you?”

Jamil had never felt more scatterbrained. So many thoughts racing at once. Yet so little came out of his mouth.

“Good seeing you too, Prefect.”

~

He never did invite you, did he?

Jamil sighs at his ridiculousness. In the back of his mind, he tried to justify it.

The party wouldn't be ideal for you to come to anyway, he’d be working the majority of the time. He doubts you’d enjoy yourself. It might be awkward for you to even come after that exchange.

However, deep down, he knew he should've said something. Anything. Instead, he just let you leave with unsure thoughts.

Jamil didn't want to leave this be. He wanted to make it right. But with so little time, he was stuck.

~

Valentines arrived unreasonably fast, causing him to frown. The students of Scarabia could sense something was wrong, but no one had the guts. Well, no one except…

“Jamil? Are you mad?” Kalim innocently asked.

Although you made Jamil talk out a lot of his issues with Kalim, the white-haired boy’s voice still irked him to his soul.

“No. What makes you say that?” The Viper responded, keeping his tone neutral and calm.

Nonetheless, Kalim squinted at him with a pout.

“Is this about the Prefect?”

He nearly choked on his spit. “Excuse me?”

“Well, you guys like each other, right? Did you fight over something? Aww, I’m sorry if an argument broke out right before Valentine's.”

Jamil shook his head with an annoyed scoff, giving Kalim an unamused look.

“No, what—? Rewind. What makes you think we like each other?”

Kalim tilted his head like a lost puppy. It only served to frustrate Jamil further.

“Is it not obvious? You’re way happier around them than anyone else!”

Not that anyone pointed it out, but Jamil would undoubtedly deny the way his cheeks heated up at that statement.

“We’re not seeing each other romantically. Neither do we think of one another that way…”

He regretted letting his sentence trail and thinking aloud. Whenever it came to you, he was much less organized than he liked.

“…Well, sort of.” Although he merely mumbled these three words, that was all it took for Kalim to spring up ecstatically.

“Oh! So you like them but you haven't confessed? You can do it at today's party! I’ll invite them right now!” “What! No— Kalim, slow down!”

Jamil had to physically grab the other hot by his shoulders to keep him from bouncing away.

“I'm not ‘confessing’ at this party today, or any time soon.”

That lost puppy looked returned to Kalim’s face. Although he had seen it a few minutes ago, it still pissed him off all the same.

“Why not?”

Because he didn't know how to; plain and simple. Jamil for sure didn't want to have his ‘confession’ be too big. He’d hate for himself to come off as ingenuine to you.

Not to mention, Kalim and his antics have more or less ruined any big, dramatic gestures for him. Jamil can't help but find them corny and tacky now.

However, he didn't want to do something too small. A simple note won’t cut it for him. You deserve more. What exactly that entailed, he didn't know.

“Because I don’t want to.” Jamil unenthusiastically answered. He cut off Kalim before he could speak up. “No more questions.”

Not wanting to entertain this conversation any longer, Jamil walked away. Right. He had other, more pressing matters to worry about. Party preparations.

Food, decorations, music, lighting…

Damn it, why won’t you leave his mind?

~

The party, thankfully, went smoothly. Guests were enjoying themselves, there was enough food for everyone, and Kalim was too distracted by a few people to bother him. Letting out a relieved sigh, Jamil leaned against the wall behind him. His eyes wandered around as he started people-watching.

It was important to stay alert when it came to the people at these parties. He had to make sure no one had harmful intentions towards the young Al Asim. Though, as he should've expected, there were many couples here tonight.

Seems like a lot of Scarabian students brought their off-campus lovers here. Jamil can only hope Crowley doesn't chastise them too harshly for doing so.

He perks up as a slow song plays over the party. The lights are adjusted to dim and soon enough, practically everyone was on the dance floor. Couples, friends, strangers, talking stages— you name it.

It’s no surprise Jamil seemed drawn to the dance aspect of this part of the night. Even if he tried to hide it at times, his passion for the art of dancing always had its way of shining through. He glanced through the crowd to see if there was anyone without a partner.

Thankfully for him, it wasn't too hard to spot someone. These types of parties were always bound to have a few wallflowers. As he made his way through the crowd toward the one he had his eye on, he couldn't help but hear a couple of voices over the music.

“Ace, you little—!” That was all Jamil could make out before he felt a person suddenly collide with him. It didn't hurt or anything, and Jamil had enough sense to gauge it was most likely a mistake—

“Uh, hi.”

He didn't expect to turn around and be met with the sight of you. An embarrassed look sat upon your face as you fidgeted with the ends of your clothes.

“Hey.” Jamil curtly replied.

You gave him that stupid little smile of yours that made his heart race. A hopeful hum left your lips.

“Are you busy?”

He couldn't help but chuckle in response, giving his genuine answer.

“Nope.” He stuck his hand out, pretending that his mind wasn't going fuzzy from being in your presence. “May I have this dance?”

He felt you place your hand on top of his.

“Of course.”

With your permission, he let one hand fall to your waist as he gently guided you in a waltz-like manner. He was more experienced than you, precisely moving as the two of you dance.

You couldn't help but feel endeared. Jamil was pretty from close up. Unfortunately— or fortunately— he caught you staring. He gave you an amused look in response.

However, he didn't expect you to abruptly frown and glance away.

‘You couldn't get your hopes up,’ Your mind reminded you, recalling his reaction to your gift. It was for the better you don't get too attached.

Jamil seemed disheartened by the disconnect. His hand on your waist lightly tightened. Shortly after, a mischievous grin found its way on his face.

Suddenly, Jamil’s movement quickened. You gave him a confused raise of the brow.

“Jamil—?”

He doesn't give you time to finish your thought as he spins you, swiftly catching you in his arms afterward. Taken by surprise, you can’t help the laugh that escapes you.

You've never seen Jamil look more proud of himself as he gave you that smug little smile of his. He barely gave you time to react before he was moving the two of you again.

What you didn't expect was for him to dip you so, so low. Instinctively, you squealed. Your arms clung onto him for dear life.

“Jamil—!”

He let out a laugh at your reaction. “What? It's not like I’m going to drop you or anything.”

Your grip tightened after hearing those words. “Great sevens— you better not drop me!”

He playfully rolled his eyes. Jamil leaned in closer, his voice taking a lower tone as he whispered, “You trust me, Prefect, don’t you?”

You didn't respond to that, instead letting your small glance to the side paired with an embarrassed expression speak for itself.

In the next few steps, he taught you some more advanced footwork. He couldn't help but admire the way you’d smile as you caught onto it quickly. Jamil then spun you once more, this time it was less abrupt.

Prepared, you were able to smoothly go along with it. The boy let out an impressed hum, giving you a satisfied look. His eyes practically told you what he had planned next. Another dip.

The dip was more nerve-wracking than the spin. However, Jamil didn't intend to dip you as low as he did before— thankfully.

Your hold on him still tightened like it did before as he dipped you. Unlike before, Jamil let the pose and moment linger.

You’d gaze up at him, admiring the determined glint in his eyes. The way his hair naturally fell, framing his face, was just the cherry on top.

Oh, and how could you forget those breathtaking lips of his...

His thoughts were eerily similar to yours, taking in your features before letting his eyes roam over your lips. Jamil leaned closer, bringing his face mere inches from yours.

You swung your arms around his neck, making it easier for him to get closer… and closer… and…

Just as the two of you closed your eyes, about to connect, you hear the slow music turn to an upbeat, party song. Next thing you know, you felt your body swiftly being pulled up.

One moment, you and Jamil were so close, the next he was acting as though you were toxic. His hands left your hips as he cleared his throat.

It looked like he was planning on saying something before a familiar voice cut through the crowd.

“Jamil! Come dance with me!” The two of you both heard the young Al Asim shout.

You frowned. Right. He’s busy tonight with duties and whatnot. Although you felt disappointed, you gave him a tired smile and nod.

Jamil’s brows were furrowed, his eyes flickering between you and the direction Kalim’s voice came from.

Tonight seemed full of surprises as Jamil’d hand shoots out to your forearm and hurriedly guided you outside in the opposite direction of Kalim.

You were in shock as he pulled you outside, shutting the door behind him with a sigh.

“…You’re not gonna—?” “If anyone asks, you were nauseous from dancing and went outside with me for fresh air.”

Jamil was dead serious as he spoke, looking at you for confirmation. You nodded your head.

“Uh, got it.”

Silence soon filled the atmosphere between the two of you, the only sound being from the night’s wind. It was oddly tense. You were the first one to break the quiet.

“I’m sorry.” Jamil’s gaze immediately snapped up to yours, narrowing in confusion.

“Sorry?” He repeated, looking for clarification.

You fidgeted with the ends of your clothes. “Sorry for the chocolates. That was probably uncomfortable for you since that kinda gift is usually reserved for couples and all…”

Jamil’s expression softened the more you talked.

“Don’t be. It was a lovely gift.” His hands slowly make their way to yours, gently holding you.

“I reacted the way I did because…” Jamil sucked in a hesitant breath. “…Well, you’ve made me feel things. Feelings that I thought I was incapable of feeling.”

He carefully pulled you closer to him, allowing you to back away if you wanted to. You didn't. You just stared back into his gaze as he continued.

“Around you, I feel unburdened by my responsibilities. I feel… alive.” If you maneuvered your hand right, you could feel his pulse practically beating out of his body.

“I adore you like no other. When I received those chocolates, my mind melted. You… you turn me into such a mess.” He lightly scoffed with a small shake of the head. You can't help but chuckle.

“Nonetheless,” He gave your hands a gentle squeeze. You squeezed back.

“I’d never wish this feeling away. Never in a million years.”

Jamil’s hands momentarily left yours as he fiddled with his jacket. He was looking for something…?

“Although it’s long overdue,”

After a few moments, Jamil pulls out a small, red rose. You recognize it as a part of the decor from the party. He slips it into your hand effortlessly, his eyes staying on yours.

“Will you be my Valentine?”

[autistichalsin]

Masterpost of cut content, changes, and etc for early game builds of Halsin

I have found a lot of cut things relating to Halsin, some from developer interviews, a lot from the datamine, and some from other sources. I decided to compile those here.

Some disclaimers and clarifications first:

I use the term "early build(s)" to distinguish it from both release and from the Early Access test period. If you don't remember something here, it's because it was removed without ever being implemented in Early Access.

I do not have the energy to link or upload the datamined files, etc, so instead I will state where I found them and you are free to look if you want to.

This list is not exhaustive. There are likely even more things that we will never know about.

The game underwent many, many rewrites; some characters existed in ways you would not recognize today, before being rewritten.

I am not including things that were changed after release, IE the unfinished Halsin vs Minthara ultimatum that started to be worked on from patches 4-6 but was never implemented.

With that said, let's jump in! I will try to organize these roughly in order of how early the game build was, but it's not always possible to know how far back a given change was, so it won't be precise.

If I missed any, please feel free to let me know!

Halsin wasn't always the only Archdruid at the Emerald Grove; there was once a second Archdruid, Denor, who worshipped Eldath. She and Halsin had a fight because she was worried about the Shadow-Cursed Lands, and she went off to investigate a lead and got captured, presumably leading Halsin to try and go save her. Likely to simplify that plot, they instead made the Grove solely consist of Druids of Silvanus, and Halsin and Denor's plots were combined into just Halsin. (This was recovered from datamined files.)

Halsin used to be an elderly man; this has been confirmed by both Kevin (writer of Lae'zel and Wyll) and John (Halsin's writer). Halsin's pipe is an artifact from this time, which they never removed. This caused a lot of confusion for the writers when Halsin got de-aged to what we know today, causing a lot of fans in Early Access to thirst for him, as the last the writers had seen, he was, well, an old man. There were streams at this time with writers explaining they had been baffled at first until they saw Halsin's then-new model.

Listening to old voice files from back when each Tav narrated their own story, Halsin originally had two bear companions, a male and a female, who were mates. It was possible to cause both Halsin and one of the bears to die at the goblin camp, leaving the other bear heartbroken at losing both their mate and their master.

Halsin had a friend, the cut Origin character Helia, and they would have been imprisoned together. (This was recovered from datamined files.) Helia had two recruitment locations, one in the forest and one in the worg pens, and in fact there is still text in the post-release file for the worg pen scene mentioning it could be her or Halsin there. Her recruitment dialogue mentioned that goblins had taken Halsin away (more on that below) and it seems (though not confirmed, but just putting pieces together) that which location Helia was recruited from would influence where you found Halsin; if you found her in the forest, he'd be in the goblin cage, but if you missed Helia there and found her in the pens, he'd be taken to Moonrise. Leading to...

It was possible for Halsin to be imprisoned in Moonrise. There was an audio file recovered where Minthara would mention the Druid the player was looking for was there and she could get them an audience with him, and there are multiple tags referring to Halsin being imprisoned in a pod (such as a dialogue option to leave him in his pod), as well as an eventflag suggesting Halsin could have been tadpoled. More specifically, there was a flag set for saving Halsin before he was tadpoled, which by implication also strongly hints he could have been tadpoled there. There was also a cut dialogue line from an unknown character (possibly, but not certainly, Helia or a Druid) saying, "Halsin! What did they do to you???" which also hints at this. Another line said, "easy, Halsin. We're all friends here," and was removed at the same time that all references to this outcome were, suggesting it was part of that same path. (Possibly tadpoled Halsin would have been disoriented and aggressive, causing the player to need to reassure him they're friendly, though that is sheer speculation on my part.)

As shown in the concept art book, Halsin's scar used to, in fact, be from a battle, instead of being attacked for rejecting a she-bear's advances.

As is very well-known by now, Halsin was responsible for Isobel's death. Rather than being promoted to Archdruid after the battle, he was always in charge, and represented the Druids and Harpers in a negotiation attempt with Ketheric. Instead, some unknown force (believed to be Shar) caused Isobel and other combatants to go temporarily insane and attack each other. She attacked Halsin, and he immediately reacted in self-defense, stabbing her with the glaive Sorrow. He believed it became cursed as a result, because holding it filled him with such sadness, and anyone who used it would take psychic damage as well. Essentially, his trauma and regret from killing her was so great that it gained a physical form in the blade. Further, that was the main reason for his guilt regarding the Shadow-Cursed Lands, leading to...

Halsin's friendship with Thaniel was a later addition. Before, Halsin only mentioned having seen him briefly in his meditations; he wanted to save Thaniel because it would break the curse over the land, not because it was Thaniel himself.

Halsin's mission in act 2 was much bigger, and was trimmed significantly as a result- being far too big for an optional sidequest for a non-Origin character. Instead of waking Art Cullagh to get information on the Shadowfell, you fought the three Thorms to get a bone from each of them, which you would then bring to Isobel, who would grind them up for use in a ritual. Then you would defend Halsin while he tried to open the portal (more on the portal below), instead of defending him while he was inside it. You were then instructed to go to the Shar temple to wait for him, after which the quest would presumably end with Halsin, overjoyed and grateful beyond words for your help, bringing Thaniel to recover in Last Light and promising light would return to the lands soon.

During this quest, Halsin would also give you a dagger called Promise, which would help him find you from the Shadowfell. He also mentioned that a sign of his spirit would manifest itself in the Shar temple when the player had found the right place. That's where the "you are the beacon that will guide me home" line likely originated from.

The portal quest was different, as noted above. Most notably, there are still files in-game for a scenario where, despite being warned repeatedly not to touch the portal, you could wait for him to open it and then attempt to enter, causing it to collapse. Horrified and heartbroken, Halsin would yell at you, and you could give an explanation ranging from "sorry I panicked" to "I worship Shar and didn't want you to succeed, hahaha dumbass." Halsin, heartbroken, would leave to be alone to grieve, and then would leave you forever.

Oliver was likely not a part of this quest originally; he, along with Art's story, were added when the quest got trimmed down from what it had been, but still needed some little quest progressions, so they tweaked the story to give it some meat back without making it such a daunting quest as it was before.

There was once going to be a scene of Halsin and Jaheira having a very heated argument during act 2. What it was about, and how it would have ended, has never been discovered; the only thing we know is the title of the file from an early datamine. It is possible it could have been about Jaheira learning about Halsin's responsibility for Isobel's death, as she is shown in canon to be protective of Isobel, or it could be about their different priorities over whether the cult or the curse should be a priority.

Worth noting here are various changes to characterization (rather than noting every single one individually). Halsin was more openly emotional (particularly after you saved Thaniel), often sassier, and his abilities as a healer were emphasized more strongly back then. He teased you about if the tadpole would share your hangover the day after the party, he would dryly say he can't cut your tadpole out or he'd be removing it from a corpse, etc. It is also possible, though has never been confirmed, that we might have been intended to learn his last name of Silverbough at some point, as John has mentioned an earlier character outline having said that as his last name, in reference to Celtic mythology.

Halsin had voice lines referencing Orpheus; you could mention him to Halsin, and he would mention he wanted to meet anyone who knew about these tadpoles.

Halsin's sex scene with him wildshaping into a bear seems to have once been intended for a different scene where the wildshaping occurred offscreen and was also played for laughs; this was pitched by Baudelaire Welch, and then John Corcoran turned it into a part of the main romance. What that original pitch was, what the context would have been, etc, are not known. Just that the wildshaping was originally an offscreen gag in another scene. (Possibly Sharess' Caress?)

There were going to be scenes, near the end of the game, where the elder brain would torment the group with hallucinations of themselves that would pick at their weaknesses, fears and insecurities; these files still exist in rough draft form in the game. Halsin's particular hallucination would have hinted at his struggles with feelings of meaningless, and his wondering whether he should just give up, etc.

There is also a voice line that still exists for characters who were in your party, but left either due to plot events or their approval dropping, being captured by the Absolute and showing up to fight against you in the courtyard battle. Halsin was included here as well, being an enemy who would yell "For the Absolute!" at the start of his turns.

It is possible, though not certain, that the writers intended for you to be able to bring Halsin back to act 1; he and Minthara both have voice lines for the creche. However, it is possible that this was just added to cover the exploit where casting silence on either of them would leave them unable to initiate their scene where they refuse to return with you.

I hesitate to include this one, as I have yet to find anything even remotely concrete (the closest things being an ambiguous tag and the circumstantial evidence of there being many hanging plot threads), but it is widely believed that there was supposed to be a continuation of the Shadow Druids plot which would center around Halsin, based on Halsin's uncertainty in act 3 of whether they might actually be right, a tag referencing Kagha's act 1 turn from the Shadow Druids if this happened, a line from the Shadow Druids mentioning they were going to Baldur's Gate, and the reveal that Ketheric had the Shadow Druids sent to the Grove to weaken the Drudis there as he knew from experience what a threat they could be.

Hope you enjoyed that deep dive! I don't THINK I forgot anything, but on the off chance I did, do feel free to let me know and I will update this post!