#even though i am writing...

[captainpriceslilwife]

price with a sensitive little bird who cries too easily (me)!!!! let's think about it....

Maybe you've worked so hard to always be so tough for everyone else :( stiffening your lip every time you get even an inkling that you might cry, running off to the nearest bathroom to gather yourself so you can come back out with the pretty smile that everyone else seems to love so much.

And maybe you do the same thing with john when you first meet him - hiding yourself away the moment you get even the tiniest bit emotional because you don't want to scare him off with your 'dramatics,' as everyone else calls it. You just want him to like you! And you just assume he'll be like everyone else - rolling his eyes and telling you to get over it if you ever cry in front of him. It works for a while, and he seems happy with you, so you make sure to keep it up for months.

But one day, you have nowhere to run.

The two of you are driving home after a night out together - John in the driver's seat as your head lolls against the passenger window, eyes blinking heavily as you try not to fall asleep with John's thumb rubbing small circles on your thigh. You're about to give in to the heaviness pooling behind your eyelids when you see it on the side of the road - a tuft of feathers from what used to be a happy little duck, now flattened by some driver who couldn't get out of the way fast enough, or someone who just didn't care to.

The calm, sleepy energy in the car suddenly shifts, and John steals a glance over at you only to take a double-take when he sees your lip wobbling as your eyes grow glassy. You try to tilt your head away from him to hide yourself from his view, but he's quick to gently squeeze your leg to try to pull your gaze over to him.

"Sweetheart? Hey, what's wrong, love?"

His tender coo is enough to send you over the edge, making your shoulders shake as a soft whimper escapes your lips. You try to choke out the words, but you're so ashamed to be crying in front of him that you can't even speak - so you just point lamely out the window before you bury your face into your hands and let out a sob.

"What?" His brows furrow in concern as he tries to discern what it is that's upset you. He tries to glance in the rearview mirror as he continues driving, but he's at a loss as you continue to let out the most heart-breaking sobs he's ever heard. "Love, what's happened?"

"T-The d-duck...." You manage to blubber out between tears, growing more and more embarrassed with each tear that rolls down your cheek. You're just waiting for him to degrade you, to tell her how silly you are for crying over something so stupid.

"Duck?" He doesn't seem annoyed with you, though - just confused. His hand hasn't once left your thigh, and he only pulls his eyes away from you to keep his attention on the road as he tries to soothe you with his touch. "What duck, my love?"

"S-Someone hit the-" Another little sob escapes from your lips, and he swears he feels his heart break when you bring your teary eyes up to look at him. "-the d-duck. On the road."

Oh, you soft, sweet little thing. His poor girl with an aching heart that harbors so much love and care that it can't help but spill over - making those pretty tears slip down your cheeks as you cling to his hand. The same hand that has spent its life torturing and killing, trained to hold a gun like it's second nature for the past two decades. Yet you still hold onto it like it holds the comfort you seek. And John? He'll do anything to give it to you.

He spends the rest of the night soothing you, trying to comfort you as you cry to him about how 'he must've been so scared, crossing the road all by himself. What if he has a duck family out there waiting for him? Maybe he was crossing the street to get to them...

And John never once teases you or criticizes you - he just holds you a bit closer as he brushes your tears away. It breaks his heart to see you so upset, but a part of him preens at the thought that you finally felt comfortable enough with him to show him the soft, vulnerable parts of you that you had hidden away forever.

The next day, he takes you to the park so you can feed the ducks in honor of their poor, fallen soldier - and he makes sure to hold you again when you start crying about the cute, baby ducklings trailing after their mom.

"They're just so cute...and small...and I can't help them! They could get hurt!" You blubber quietly, tucking your face into his shoulder as he runs his hands down your back to calm you. "I know, my love. I know. But mama's watching them, yeah? They'll be alright."

It's like you've broken a dam. Because now you can't seem to stop crying about every little thing around him. Broken plates, sad news articles, stained laundry, an empty restaurant with a 'grand opening' sign in the front. All of it sends you over the edge in an instant, and you always end up seeking John out for him to soothe you.

You're just waiting for the moment that he tells you that you're too much. He comes home after a hard day of work just to have to take care of you the second he gets back - of course he'd get tired of you at some point! Nobody has ever been kind to you when you showed them such an unguarded version of yourself, and you've just thrusted it upon him with no warning.

But he seems to revel in it. The thought of being the only one that you trust to see you in such a vulnerable state - soft belly exposed for him to take care of - it's like a drug he never knew he could get addicted to. You're a soft, sensitive thing, and he's more than happy to be the one to protect you from the harshness of the world, even if that means he has to soften himself up to meet you at your level.

He's never spoken to someone so gently in his life - kissing your tears away and cooing sweet words at you as he holds you on his lap, making up stuff about whatever you're upset about just so you can calm down - no, love...fish don't feel any pain, so fishing is alright. How do I know?....I read about it...yeah. See? They're fine...no need to cry, love.

And him being soft with you makes you cry, too. But those are his favorite tears to see - red rimmed eyes filled with relief and glistening like glass as you curl yourself closer to him, grateful to have finally found someone who will catch you when you fall into your feelings.

He'll never admit to it, but sometimes he sets you up to fall just so he can be there to catch you. He'd never make you sad on purpose, of course not, but when you come to him in tears because he left you a little love note on your favorite coffee mug before he went to work? Well, what kind of man would he be if he didn't kiss your damp, splotchy cheeks until you tire yourself out and fall asleep in his arms?

Not one he'd want to be, that's for sure.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[kirby-the-gorb]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I came here for the silly haha doodles, but I've stayed for the absolutely blazing commentary in the tags. Your analysis of this story is so so so good! Thanks for all the work and thought you put into this!

I am just a silly little comics blog. I am not hiding anything in the tags, no way. Never.

[alizalayne]

it's so amusing that when you're an author who is like any minority, you have this caveat where if your book gets banned, you kinda have to mentally acknowledge whether it was banned by Bruce, the one really bigoted guy who wastes everyone's time in florida. idk how bruce is doing. you don't need to learn who he is really which is why im not using his surname. but if you have a book out commercially, bruce has probably written "damaged souls" on a form about you. so there's a street cred element to all this like did people really have a vendetta against your work...? or was it just bruce again

[clairenatural]

okay but you see sam has ALSO fallen for dean's act. sam also believes dean to be the macho, daddy's soldier, beer boobs cars guy he presents himself as. this is why sam makes fun of dean whenever he even lightly steps out of that mold and thinks it's harmless banter instead of attacking an insecurity. it's why he laughs when john talks down to dean in the early seasons and it's why he seems surprised when dean is more comfortable with himself in the later seasons. it's why he just scoffs but doesn't push it when dean puts up a front and refuses to talk about his emotions and just accepts whatever excuse he makes at face value. it's why he offers dean a strip club to make him feel better when cas dies. and this isn't his fault!! dean has spent a very long time perfecting this image in front of everyone and ESPECIALLY to sam because along with it comes safety and security and stability and the only person. who has consistently been able to see through it. is castiel

[bumblingbabooshka]

I love Vulcans we need to get more into the emotional lives of Vulcans without imposing Human standards onto them. "The way you feel is wrong/repressive because it's not the way it's "supposed" to be from my perspective as an alien called Human" is boring to me especially when it's treated as correct. I wanna know how the aliens feel about their alien way of life. Vulcans are so interesting to me when written AS aliens and not as analogous to repressed Humans. I think about Tuvok's description of attachment to his family and how that isn't the emotion 'love' but something else, something that he feels no shame about having and sees as normal, as naturally Vulcan and I love it and I love it because there aren't any Humans there to go "Um actually checkmate you Vulcan s.o.b - that's emotion!" and he isn't being influenced by anything. These are his authentic thoughts. He sees his children, his family, as part of him. They were at times illogical, incomprehensible, and it was extremely rewarding to be in their lives. He thinks about them every day. They were well behaved. As teens they were contemptuous of authority and convinced of their own superiority. His youngest son loved one 200 verse story so he sang it to him. He'd rather die than betray his wife even in spirit. He's incomplete without them. It's obvious through Tuvok that Vulcan life is not inherently devoid of pleasure, comfort, or love and thus Human life (I think) should not be portrayed as inherently having something greater, deeper, more meaningful. I'm not talking here of society but of...emotional life. Interiority. There's this sense that all Vulcans are the same and miserable for it. That they hold themselves back and are indistinguishable and antagonistic to the self, repressed and wrong. That to be Vulcan is to suffer endlessly and Humans are all about Freedom Man and I don't know, I like that Tuvok's existence sort of challenges this as much as I acknowledge that Vulcan society is in fact repressive and unwelcoming to those who don't fit neatly into it. I'm not saying Vulcan society is a utopia, I'm questioning the perception of Vulcan emotional control - that way of life - as being inherently bad, devoid, or lacking. That Vulcans walk around with 'empty cups' and are only deluding themselves that to be that way is good. If only, Humanity moans, they could taste how delicious life could be! Tuvok is an average Vulcan. He does not struggle with emotion, he is not mixed species, he was not raised atypically, and yet he has a family he cares about and a wife he's loyal to and friends he values and none of these things seem to be Un-Vulcan to him. If Vulcan life was truly devoid of love and care, Tuvok wouldn't think of his family. They're not here, so why bother? When his pon farr came, he'd be trying to find the most compatible mate rather than risking his life by trying to meditate through it out of loyalty to T'Pel. T'Pel would also have just given Tuvok up for dead instead of waiting and his children wouldn't have traveled all the way to the most holy temple on the planet to say prayers for his safe return. I think these things are interesting and I wish they'd been explored more. The fact that caring about your family, caring about your friends, is not Un-Vulcan. The fact that Tuvok at no point longs for Humanity, sees nothing better or of interest to him in it. (Even in his teenage rebellion he only says he's sorry he was born Vulcan which reads less as Vulcan v Human and more like 'I hate this goddamn family' ykwim?). I want to know more about how Vulcans interact with each other, how they care for one another, what it means and what it's like to be Vulcan in more of an everyday way rather than what it means to be Vulcan vs Human.

[forgettable-au]

I love shitposting about my own au

You guys should know I'm also starting to post about this au on twitter. I just started so not a lot of people have seen it, you can follow me there if you use twitter more.

Rn I'm working on answering some asks:] !

-

[quinseparable]

I know its not a lot for most writers, but y'all. I wrote the first 2200 words for an original story of mine. I haven't written much of anything (outside of roleplaying) in like 15 years. I could cry. I miss this so damn much.

[benevolenterrancy]

hi!! I think your art is *so cool* o(≧∇≦o)

do you think you could draw more moshang? either post canon or that au you did last time?? (baby mobei has my heart and all I own)

(˵ •̀ ᴗ •́ ˵ ) oh! how about return to childhood—moshang flavor?

don't question this king, shang qinghua, he knows what he's about

[s0dabeach]

hey I finally finished a Gravity Falls piece!

as I said in the summary it's based on the drawings in this post by @artsymeeshee :3

[myokk]

My drawing gremlin days are coming back so here is some of the art I’ve done this last week and a half♥️♥️♥️ LOT of pencil, ballpoint pen, and some digital art WIPs when it gets dark/im on the train🫶

[sparticus2000art]

At Grillby’s with fell sans

Definitely not a companion drawing for a chapter of a fic I’m writing… definitely….

Anyway

If you want to expose yourself to my not so fantastic writing- read at your own risk.

Like it could be worse. But also. It unintentionally reads like a crack fic. So take that as you will.

Have at it:

[tooies]

i think probably the reason i like the idea of like a girl secretly being a dragon but still trying to just have a life in society and be normal is because it's kinda a transfem narrative of the whole like everyone thinks you're a terrifying monster but you just want to be a girl. and the other reason is due to i'm otherkin

[son-of-avraham]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[narsildur]

So because of the length of the new DW seasons, Ncuti has been doctor for I believe only 5 more episodes than Christopher Eccleston. Now I love 9 he is one of my favourite Doctors I think it’s an absolute crime he didn’t get more time and the situation around that is criminal too, but I’m gonna put that aside for a second.

A Doctor who has had 2 companions, the return of multiple major Classic Who characters, references to the MASSIVE lore changes during the previous era, as well as involvement in currently two specials has FIVE more episodes than one of the shortest incarnations of the Doctor.

Now I can’t find anything concrete that Ncuti’s run is ending after this season, only comments that he hasn’t been ‘axed’ but no dispelling of the rumours of regeneration (or show cancellation lets be real), but if he is leaving??? That feels so wrong.

The length of these seasons is appalling we don’t get enough time to develop ANYONE properly, almost every episode seems to be out competing the others, and the huge classic Who things the entire fandom is talking about have taken place over what is to be THREE episodes. Obviously they’ll likely continue into possibly further seasons but now? With Ncuti? With Varada? It’s three episodes.

Eight episodes will NEVER be enough to tell stories like these. Longer seasons allow for an episode or two that feel a little out of character because we have enough to come back around with whereas eight episodes doesn’t do that - Belinda’s immediate forgiveness and affection after seeing the Doctor torture someone is the best example so far, she literally Would Not Act Like That.

I hope this isn’t the end for Ncuti, him as the Doctor is what’s keeping me watching every week because I LOVE where he’s taking it. I just wish the plot and scripts allowed for more exploration of his version of the character and his wants and wishes (lol) and Ruby and Belinda’s character arcs (if you can even call them that).

I hope I eat my words I hope he gets more time I hope characters start to feel fully fleshed out. Mostly I hope we see the end of 8 episode seasons and go back to actual creative freedom and not a streaming set up show. I hope a lot of things.