#evil goblin mode

[oglagold]

I LOVE WRITING FANFICTIONS THAT I WILL NEVER POST MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

[brainworms-all-night-long]

The hands that cradled you...

[Blood tw]

...soaked in unimaginable quantities of blood

[frchillingrn]

Was doing a muscle study or whatevahhh it’s called and decided to slap johnnys face on there 💪

[cocolacola]

why does every hellsing shitpost or "incorrect quotes" thing make every character talk like a millennial. alufart is twenty five billion years old

[mystical-4ces]

He will ask to trade for goods and services. He only offers skin though:~(

[suohenki]

i've been playing bg3 of course i completed a good route with a seldarine drow, now i'm onto doing the dark urge route. very evilly. here's my cute little maniac.

[zenjestrr]

Zenuuja - Half-Orc Dark Urge

[evilvampire]

Playing as Astarion and doing Shadowheart’s dark justiciar romance path is fun and all bc it’s something different for me, but I’m SO DISAPPOINTED you don’t have the option to take the opportunity to take the flask of Aylin’s blood from her and take a quick chug like… babe please gimme the blasphemy juice.

[cloakedpress]

how to avoid burnout as a writer (from someone who has been on fire too many times)

✨ burnout is real and it sucks. ✨ it sneaks up on you. one day you're vibing, writing 3k words like you're possessed by a victorian ghost, and the next you can't even open your google doc without feeling like you're made of sand.

so, here’s a soft little reminder list for avoiding that very specific hell:

1. set baby goals, not monster goals.

yes, it’s sexy to aim for 5k words a day. no, it’s not sustainable unless you are a literal cryptid who feeds on caffeine and deadlines. try "write 100 words" or "open the document and stare at it lovingly." smaller wins keep the spark alive.

2. romanticize resting.

if you treat naps, nature walks, and binge-watching shows like sacred rituals, your brain will actually thank you by NOT catching fire. resting isn't "losing time" — it's fueling your magic.

3. stop treating first drafts like final drafts.

your first draft is supposed to be messy. it’s a goblin draft. let it have typos and weird pacing and characters who change eye color halfway through a scene. perfectionism is burnout’s evil twin.

4. write for yourself first.

not your future readers. not your critical cousin. not even your annoying inner editor who sounds suspiciously like your 8th grade english teacher. write what makes you feel something.

5. say yes to real life.

touch grass. call your friends. eat a popsicle. people-watching at the grocery store counts as research, actually. if you make your whole life about writing, it will eat you alive. you are a human, not a word factory.

6. accept the seasons of writing.

sometimes you’ll be in full-on creative beast mode. sometimes you’ll feel like a wrung-out dishcloth. both are normal. trust the cycle.

🌿 writing is a long game. protect your spark. protect your heart. the world needs your stories, but it needs you more. 🌿

[pizzapie349]

i fucking love when aleksa goes evil, goblin, mischievous mode when they play geoguessr 😭 the twirling of the moustache, the smug af grin, the taunts against himbo!alex who canonically can’t read 🫶🫶 that’s my king

[rpking99]

Distract The Gamer Gremlin

Closed with @the-blackbird-roleplays

Continued from here

"... And I thought I was bad." Nolan sighed as he looked at his gremlin girlfriend. He shook his head, scratching his neck as he watched her character dancing across the screen and laying quite possibly the most epic smackdown in all of gamedom on the rogue-like game's stage boss. He'd been trying to get the goblin-mode gamer's attention for what felt like an hour. Unfortunately, just like him when he was streaming on the usual platforms, she was too locked in to notice anything else. But finally, he had his opening. The final blow delivered, the boss was in the death throws of his defeat animation... Nolan struck. His arms snapped around Futaba and hoisted her up, tossing her onto his shoulder like a sack of potatoes with her thighs against his chest and his hand firmly to her ass. "That's enough of that for now, 'Taba. Time to give your eyes a break."

"What? NO! NO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! I'M NOT DONE! GRRRR! NOLAN!!!" Futaba screamed wildly as she tried to free herself from his grasp

With her body wiggling and curling a bit as she tried to get free. Whimpering and growling as she even kicked her legs a bit

"LET GO OF ME! Come on! Evil boyfriend, evil!" she cried as she kicked her legs wildly

[0dotexe]

So it happened again.

Funny how antidepressants actually do their job when you take them as I go from "all thoughts, head full, the demons win" to "no thoughts, head empty, horrors at bay" as soon as it hits.

[begaydodrughailsatan]

We NEED more medic topping heavy fics PLEASE

[catgirltoofies]

here's a few dwarf fortress adventure mode tips if you're struggling at all!

1. play a goblin. the mode is unfinished and there's no way to get food except what you start with, so play as a goblin so you don't have to deal with food and water (still need sleep tho). the downsides to playing a goblin, for the record: you're smaller and weaker than the other races. this can make it hard to wrestle things that are large, and makes you very frail under your armor - so don't fight big things without good armor.

2. don't bother with specific weapon skills at the start. my primary suggestions for skills to start with are Novice Reader, so you can read books and/or become a necromancer (if that's your groove) and, importantly, if you don't start out able to read, you can never learn to read. aside from that, my only suggestion is to take at least two levels in Observer. this will let you see how an opponent is attacking so you can counter effectively - you can't parry a dragon's fire breath, but you can block it. back to my initial point - the weapon you start with is not going to be a good weapon, and you should be seeking to replace it as soon as you can.

3. due to how combat works, your first medium-term priorities should be getting ahold of an iron chain shirt, an iron helm, two iron high boots, and two iron gauntlets. this will give you full coverage across your body. for embark, start with a copper chain shirt - cheap and plenty effective for early on, especially against animals. in addition, you want iron or silver weapons, or if your world is more developed, steel. this is why weapon skills don't matter on embark - you're not going to be able to put a ton of points into it anyways, and being a Proficient Swordsman won't help you when you find a masterwork silver whip in the hands of a random goblin.

4. NEVER sleep in the wilderness, if you can help it. you will be attacked and you will be killed. find a nearby civilization that isn't hostile to you, ask anyone in a building for permission to stay the night, and sleep there. you'll be safe from the boogeymen that way, but you're not necessarily safe from random attacks on the village you're staying in. those aren't your fault, though, and are totally random.

(boogeymen no longer attack outside of evil regions, but sleeping in the wilds still leaves you susceptible to predators - not nearly as dangerous, but still a potential threat.)

5. don't interact with elves unless you have a plan. starting in an elf civ has one big disadvantage and one huge potential advantage. elves don't use metal at all, so your only weapon and armor choices will be grown wood, which is an extremely ineffective weapon and armor material. even as ammo, wood is bad. however, if you start in an eleven civ, you have access to giant animal companions. your weapon doesn't matter when you have a giant lion on your side.

6. while in combat, don't be afraid to flee. sometimes you get in over your head. it's important to know when you're in trouble and getting out of dodge before it's too late. most importantly, if you're fighting something that gets cuts in through your armor, you need to leave. if its attacks are stronger than your armor, that means that you can get severed nerves, and those are permanent damage. when you go to the travel map and move a tile, all of your wounds are healed, except for permanent damage - it doesn't matter if you're bruised black and blue and your legs are broken, if you can get to the travel map, all of that goes away. but one single severed nerve in your ankle and you become permanently disabled and need a crutch to walk anywhere, severely hampering your ability to fight. even worse in the arm!

7. train! fight weak stuff before trying to take on strong stuff. run around the woods and chop the wings off of birds. wrestle crabs. get into fistfights with drunks. getting experience from things does not scale with difficulty, only repetition, so it's perfectly viable to pick up a rock and throw it at the floor for three hours and become a legendary thrower capable of splitting open a goblin skull with a hummingbird beak from 30 meters away, or fistfight drunken dwarves for weeks on end to become a legendary striker and punch a dragon's eyes out.

8. for early equipment, scout out camps. there tend to be some nearby any settlement, and the residents might not even be hostile to you! don't pick up everything, just things that are better than the stuff you have. it doesn't currently have an indicator, but carrying too much stuff WILL overencumber and slow you down, which can be deadly in a fight. i look for iron or silver equipment, especially whips. don't take the money, it's useless.

9. what's the best weapon? whips. due to the complex mechanics of combat, whips are basically able to totally ignore armor and simply break bones. secondarily, spear-type weapons are decent against armor, as they can punch through and cause bleeding, while blunt weapons like maces can break bones through the armor. swords and axes are not going to be useful. against unarmored things, though, swords and axes will be much, much stronger - a heavy sword swing can pretty handily sever limbs, which is an EXTREMELY effective tactic, if you can pull it off. blunt weapons will still be able to break bones, but it'll take quite a bit longer to kill an unarmored target with a war hammer than with a greataxe.

10. be patient! both in the game itself, and with the development process. this beta is very incomplete, missing extremely important content like crafting and trading, leaving you somewhat limited in what you can do. they're working on getting it finished, and what's currently available is still a whole lot! as for the game itself - sometimes it's good to take things slow. don't just wildly auto-attack things, sometimes taking a look at your attack options and potential "crits" can create an opening for you to turn a losing battle into a winning one. you can take a step to reassess and get a new accuracy roll if none of your options are good - just be careful not to leave yourself too open to counterattacks!

[givemeanaccountalready]

Time for another Milgram shitpost! It’s my apology for never finishing my Milgram analyses in my drafts and that one anon ask. Woo!

I have had this idea for a while now, of just the Milgram prisoners trying to pass the time, and while the words have changed many times over, the general idea of some of them having something like a DnD campaign because there’s no TV, internet, or even a radio to pass the time, so why not?

Yuno: “Seriously? I thought you, of all people, would be into this sort of thing.”

Fuuta: “You want us to play pretend.”

Yuno: “How is this any different from your little computer games?”

Fuuta: “This is very different from MMORPGs, and you know it. This… is lame!”

Muu: muttering “You would know.”

Yuno: “Oh, please. Your eyes lit up when I mentioned it.”

Fuuta: “They did not!”

Yuno: “Did so.”

Fuuta: “Did not!”

Mikoto: “They kind of did, dude.”

Fuuta: “No one asked you! And they did not!”

Mikoto: “I mean, I’ll play, if you want Yun-chan. It’s a good idea. I really don’t want to do another ice breaker.”

Shidou: “They’re good for getting to know others.”

Yuno: “Thank you. Who else wants to play?”

Kazui: “Oh ho, ho, I don’t know. It’s been ages since I’ve played a game like this. I wouldn’t know how to play.”

Yuno: “Alright, we got Kazui. Who else? Amane?”

Amane: “I am studying.”

Fuuta: “See? Even the grade schooler doesn’t want to play. I mean, you guys don’t even have any dice or anything to play.”

Yuno: “We don’t need dice to play. It’s just to pass the time. Who else? Kotoko?”

Kotoko: “No.”

Fuuta: “You need dice to play! How else are you gonna decide stats? Just by classes? That’s lame.”

Mikoto: big bro mode activated “You’re lame.”

Yuno: “Oh my God. Fuuta, I’m gonna make you be the first villain boss guy we face.”

Fuuta: “It’s just boss, and why do I have to be the villain?”

Yuno: “Why do you need to fight me on everything I say? Shidou’s gonna send you to your room if you don’t play nice.”

Fuuta: “Oh my God, fine. I’ll play your dumb game.”

Mikoto: “Wait, shouldn’t Es be the one sending us to our rooms?”

Haruka: nods

Yuno: “Haruka, do you wanna play? There’s no rules to this?”

Fuuta: “You can’t have a game without rules!”

Yuno: “Shut it, or you’re going to be the team goblin. Haruka?”

Haruka: “C-can I?”

Mahiru: “Can I play too? What are we playing?”

Kotoko: “Fake DnD.”

Yuno: “Oh? Did you change your mind then?”

Kotoko: “No.”

More nonsense:

They finally got Amane to play because Shidou wouldn’t stop bugging her about it.

Yuno: “You can be a priest if you want.”

Fuuta: “They’re called clerics and they heal-”

Amane: “I want to be a crusader.”

Fuuta: “A what?”

Yuno: “Bet. Want any special powers?”

Amane: “I want lightning to smite my enemies with.”

Shidou: whispers to Fuuta and Mikoto who canonically have sisters and probably know firsthand how unhinged play time drama can be “Is that normal?”

Mikoto: “Yes.”

Fuuta: “You’ve clearly never played crime Barbie. Coward.”

Mikoto: “Oh, word? My little sister used to love overthrowing evil queens with her My Little Pony dolls. That and evil orphanages.”

Fuuta: “Evil orphanages… Good shit.”

When faced with The Villain ™️

Mahiru: “Is he… is he hot?”

Yuno: “You can’t fix him.”

Mahiru: “I can try!”

Yuno: “You can’t. That’s how Kotoko died.”

Kotoko: “I wouldn’t try to fix him!”

Yuno: “You were trying to fix him like a dog.”

Kotoko: “Okay, now that… that I can accept.”

Kazui: sweating “I think we played enough for tonight.”

Later on, after Kotoko attacked.

Fuuta: “Hey… Yuno?”

Yuno: “Yeah?”

Fuuta: “I can’t stop thinking about-about it. Can you-can you talk about the game?”

Yuno: “The game?”

Fuuta: “Please. Everythung hurts and I need something else to focus on.”

Yuno: “…”

Fuuta: “Yuno?”

Yuno: “… okay, so Mahiru accidentally set off one of the traps in the villain’s old hideout. You and me, the brave knight and the baddest witch in the west, we were sent ahead to find the old Warlock, Shidou of the path, to figure out how to get Mahiru out of the ancient scroll she’s now trapped in…”

[evilartreblogger]

What I’d like to imagine, is that us, the tarnished, are the true Miquella. Not the “oh i’m gonna touch you” Miquella, no, I mean the one to foster the age of peace. Some NPCs we talk to, almost always refers to us as kind(in most situations). Gostoc, while he doesn’t call us kind, we help him, maybe not just for him, but we still help him. Rya, we’re friendly to her after a lot of people hate her serpent form, we aren’t afraid. Boc, thinks he’s ugly and if you know his quest…. You know we help him.

What I like to think is that we are, even if unknowingly, Showing the world the kindness it doesn’t have. Even with the frenzy, you are freeing everyone, in a sick sort of way, but still freeing them. With the despair ending, as awful as that ending is, you meld everyone to the curse, and thus free everyone from the curse, leaving no room for judgement. Sure, these endings are painful, awful for those involved. But the tarnished can be misguided, we know that very well. Especially if a player who doesn’t know the lore or mechanics is at the wheel. Plus, the tarnished is shown, or well, seems to be plain stupid or unknowledgable in the game. Think about how many NPCs tell you how to DO things.

I’m not proposing we are Miquella’s kindness, i’m not even proposing that we are Miquella. I’m proposing the fact that we are what Miquella wanted to be.

Yes of course I know your ocs are evil and goblin mode but i’m talking about Mr.Raging Wolf armor over there. And if it’s the Raging Wolf ending, i’ll assume it’s Fractured Ending.

As always feel free to boo me off stage i haven’t slept properly in like…. a week? Idk.