#expect if its sapphic ofc

[outromoony]

Whoever says background wolfstar is better than main wolfstar is absolutely incorrect.

[nouvxllev]

Absolutely love your work! And was ecstatic when I found out you also did Emma myers! And you write so well!! 🥹 I don’t know if you’ll be up to this, so don’t feel the need I know your probably a busy bee. But I wanted to know since you do Emma myers, if you’d be willing to to do a cc Walker aged up fic, maybe where cc is in college, and she’s in a relationship with reader (I absolutely loved your jealous Tara fic) but I was wondering if you could do cc, but make it a little more soft, and possessive? Like Cc is more afraid that reader will leave her? And just soft smut? (Sapphic of course) if not then I understand. I also wanted to know if once A good girls guide to murder comes out, will you be doing pop x reader? Because Emma is so cute as pip! ❤️❤️

would it kill you to look at me instead?

Pairing: CC Walker x Fem!Reader

Summary: ^^ request!!

Words: 5k (i was not expecting that damn)

Warnings: soft smut, slight angst. actually idk if its cut out to be angst, possessive cc aaaaaaa, author forgot how to actually write good stories

a/n: thank you so so sooo much!!!! and i was absolutely in love with agggtm when i read the book (i even got the whole series on my bookshelf!) so ofc ill be doing a pip x reader soon. hope i got to your expectations, anon.

masterlist.

"CC, what's up with you?"

Ava trailed after her, CC's shoes skittering along the hallway like some kind of menace, the slam of her door from her dorm was still echoing in Ava's ears.

Despite having just finished training five minutes ago, CC's steps were quick. Like they were avoiding any sort of conversation, she didn't even know why or where she was going.

"CC, please, you haven't even talked to me in a week!" Ava caught up to her, nearly tackling the girl to keep pace with her steps.

"Okay, what?" The blonde turned around abruptly, wind catching in her hair. She almost could roll her eyes if not for Ava being the sweetest being on this earth. "What, for fucks sake, what is so wrong with me?"

"That." She gestured using her pointer finger while the shorter girl pulled her lips into a thin line, "You keep snapping at everyone, and you've been staring daggers at the squad all week. It was mild at first, but now you look like you want to bury them in front of their families."

Ava leaned in further, squinting her eyes as she crosses her arms, "...Also you have these deep eyebags under your eyes."

CC's shoulder slumped, letting out an heavy sigh while her eyes closed. It burns, burns like fucking hell.

"I—"

Ava jumped forward, her eyes furrowing almost immediately, "Don't say because of exams since you're doing pretty good in terms of academics. You're even top in your classes."

"Well, fine. It's—"

"Don't say soccer too because I know your eyebags only come out of hiding when it's tournament or championship season."

"Okay, Wyatt—"

"Yale is like a million miles from us, CC. Also you don't even text Wyatt unless you need something."

"Well, I..." CC fidgeted under her, her head tilting left and right, "We've, my girlfriend have.... Have been fucking. Sex. Alot. Major, huge sex. Like, up and down, sideways, horizontally, transversally—"

"Alright, no," Ava pulled out her hand and stopped her, her other pinching the bridge of her nose, "Not in any universe would I want to hear about you and y/ns sex life."

CC chuckled, the only laugh she could ever muster. "Look, college's been kicking my ass lately and I'm just tired, really. Nothing to worry about." In all truth and oaths, she was.

She was tired.

For all the different reasons. Might even be petty ones.

So tired of hearing that one name—Clarissa Grey—coming out of your, admittedly so attractive, pretty mouth. She was a transferee yet she already caught your attention with a single 'hey, i'm new here, can you show me around?'

It had been five weekdays, not even counting weekends where Clarissa horribly clung onto you outside of school, of having your presence found nowhere but with that girl.

Normally, CC would spend every waking hour, if not for soccer, with you and you only. Clinging to your arms, holding your warm hands, tip-toeing to kiss your pretty lips she so adored, bringing you to the most expensive places you wanted, and most especially waking up with you in the early morning with your body sprawled atop hers.

It was bliss.

Was.

Now that CC was constantly being pulled to practice she couldn't spend as much time as she wanted with you. Meanwhile, Clarissa had you wrapped around her arms.

In short, Clarissa Grey is and will forever be a pain in the ass.

Clarissa—Insufferable, torturous, agonizing, intolerable, girlfriend-hogging—Grey.

She hated her.

Well, not hated. It's a strong word, a word she couldn't ever describe your, her forever beloved girlfriend, friends. Yet this girl got on her nerves more than ever.

And she's pretty sure this girl's been trying to get into your pants more than CC ever does after a rough game.

Clarissa was fine at first. CC wasn't those controlling partners who didn't allow their other to have friends; in fact, she was happy that you found a friend in the new transferee from across the world.

Now she felt like she was about to butcher the girl from mouth to anus if she ever so much as catching a wind of her presence of how she was constantly stealing you away from her.

CC took months just to muster a hi and introduce herself (through text mind you) and she didn't even check her phone for weeks after it. New girl did it in one damn day.

How could one even out-girlfriend a girlfriend of three years?

Now whenever it hits midnight and CC is finally in your arms all she could hear is:

"I'm so sorry baby, Clarissa made some plans for us."

"Sorry, CC. I have something to do with Clarissa on that date."

"Clarissa wanted to…"

"Baby, is it alright if Clarissa invited me to…"

"CC! Check it out, Clarissa just…

It's ridiculous and all CC could say was a simple yeah sure and a nod like she wasn't going to bash Clarissa's head in with a soccer ball.

She'd admit that even you get the end of the stick with her attention sometimes because of her first-class popularity that always seemed to stick around, but either way she felt really bad.

Jealousy was a stupid emotion which a stupid college girl, mind you, like her was stupidly experiencing. She was 19 experiencing her old 13 year old problems if she met you a bit more earlier. But who wouldn't get jealous?

She had the same interests as you, the same personality, likes the same movies as you, you both had an interest in whatever artist you were listening too.

She practically hung out with you everyday with how the both of you took the same classes and courses. The two of you were perfect on paper.

Clarissa wasn't some soccer-obssessed girl who doesn't spend her time in training for championships that you found yourself spending every second with her if CC wasn't around.

She has a great fashion sense without looking like whatever a 'teenybopper' is or someone dressed like Adam Sandlers.

She's probably great at cooking.

She kept her room impossibly clean as if it were brand new that you found impressive everytime she invited the both of you to her dorm.

She had this amazing ball of sunshine whenever she entered the room like it was a plague.

She probably followed what her mom told her to be when she gets into college.

She was pretty too. Her hair all shiny and she carried absolute grace and poise. Who wouldn't like her?

And that smile of hers? You found it nice. Charming, captivating. Even CC found it enchanting, it was all so surreal.

You liked her, most of all.

Shit.

Not that CC could ever doubt your loyalty to her; hell, she could invite every former crush and celebrity crush you had, and you wouldn't even bat a single eye towards them. You'd even try to desperately find the girl even if she wasn't in the room.

She doubted herself.

Who was she if not for you?

She just missed you. So much. It's killing her.

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"CC!" You yelled, a smile creeping up your lips as you watched her jog up the bleachers in her new shoes you bought for her as an anniversary gift, it was an understatement to say that she loved it.

You watched how her exhausted face broke into a slight smile that managed to never fail to make your heart grow a garden of flowers trying to mimic her beauty, her eyes lighting up by the mere sight of you.

When she finally reached you, she practically melted into your inviting embrace. You held her chose, feeling the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she caught her breath, her exhaustion from practice matches slowly going away from being in the comfort of our arms.

You feel how her breaths gradually steadied, her heartbeat turned into its normal pace, her hands snaking up to your back while she buried her head into you, subtly peppering gentle kisses along your neck.

"Y/n..." She murmured, pulling her head away slightly and turning to the side.

Your arms stayed lingered around her waist, "Yeah, baby?"

She shook her head, eyebrows slightly knitting themselves as her gaze drifted at the seats as she inched closer to your ear, "Why... why is she here?" She squeezed your hand that was wrapped around her.

You followed her line of sight to where Clarissa sat on the bleachers right next to you, watching the players off to the side at her own time.

"Well, she wanted to come along with me," you explained with a shrug, "so I brought her here." A soft smile gracing your lips as you glanced at CC who didn't match your sunny expression.

"You guys done yet?" She looked up at the both of you, her voice was oddly monotone and disinterested. Unlike a few moments ago where she was clinging onto your arm while laughing.

You lowered your arms from CC's body as you sat beside Clarissa, gesturing to your girlfriend to slightly introduce her even if they already met a couple of times.

You didn't miss the way CC's face twisted into a grimace one as she crossed her arms, mumbling a slightly less than thrilled exclaim, "Fantastic."

"It is fine for me to cheer you on, right?" Clarissa smiled. Way too innocently at CC as if she wasn't just staring her down, the change in her tone didn't go unnoticed.

"Yeah. Yeah sure, whatever." CC replied, albeit the response came through gritted teeth as she picked up a waterbottle that sat beside you.

Clarissa smiled, laughed even, before leaning her head against you. "We have something to go after anyways, right y/n?" She looked up at you, innocent eyes that definitely didn't mimic yours as you stuttered out a response.

"We do? I didn't—"

"Okay, no, that's—!" CC's reaction was swift, immediately pulling you closer to her side, her hand having a firm grip on your arm as her voice rose in frustration yet faltered.

CC paused, seemingly collecting herself. You turned to her, confusion etched in your face, while Clarissa had a slight tug in her lips.

"That's... perfect. Amazing," she finally managed to say, letting go of her tight grip on you before standing up. "Sorry, I really have to go, I think they're calling for me. Enjoy whatever plans the both of you have."

You hear Clarissa giggle as you watch CC walk down the steps, her waterbottle discarded onto a nearby trashcan. It wasn't even half done. "Guess she doesn't like me, huh?"

A soft sigh escape your lips, your mood officially worried and concerned about CC before turning to Clarissa, "Yeah... Yeah, sorry, we have plans?"

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Nothing could be more worrying than allowing your girlfriend CC-can't-really-monitor-her-liquor-properly-Walker attend a night party held by her teammates as some sort of 'pre-celebration' before a game.

You were already deprived out of her presence, being that you always stuck with that new girl you couldn't really find time to hang out with your girlfriend no longer than 30 minutes.

Not to mention what happened a few hours ago.

You miss her so much its tearing you apart. Unfortunately you're the book definition of a people pleaser so you took the courage to show Clarissa around for a few weeks until she got comfortable with the setting.

Most of the times CC would invite you to come along with to parties. Rejection often means she would be clinging onto your back like a koala and making out with you until the words associated with your academics disappeared from your mind.

Now she just entered the dorm, gave you a single kiss without explanation, and a simple text minutes later just stating 'ill be at a party. see you midnight xx.'

That in itself made you worried. No normal breathing CC Walker would ever use perfect grammar or would her be's or you's spelled correctly without any missing letters.

So imagine your surprise when she arrived two hours before twelve. Wasted and slightly teary-eyed, her pretty eyes avoiding looking at your direction. It was an understatement that the sight broke your heart.

"CC?" You rushed to her side almost immediately, ignoring the concerns of the amount of tasks you had on your desk.

You were met with silence. "CC, baby, are you alright? Did something happen?" you asked softly, "love, hey, look at me." You reach out to steady her as she swayed on her feet more and more in her intoxicated state until she reached her bed.

She shrugged off your touch, feeling a nagging sting in your heart that burned a void inside of you. You watched as she mutter something unintelligible under her breath, gritting her teeth as she stared at the ground.

"CC, talk to me." You carefully sat with her against your bed, fetching her the water that has been sitting on your desk, tilting your head to get her attention.

Her head turned to you, her eyes glassy and unfocused. Her pretty eyes that you adored were almost teary-eyed, "Would it kill you to look at me instead, y/n?"

"CC..." you tilted your head, your eyebrows furrowing, "CC... what? What are you talking about?"

"Why are you always with her? Clarissa?" Her name almost felt like poison in her mouth, awaiting to be spit out in venom, "Why is she always with you when I'm not around? Why are you always looking at her even if I'm mere inches away from you?"

She shook her head before you could respond, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. "It's dumb. I know you're allowed to spend time with your friends. And even more to her since she's new and everything. You could spend time with anyone and I wouldn't care but I—" She took a deep breath, "Every time I see you with her, it's like… like she's much more of a good girlfriend than me you know? Because she likes you. It's kind of clear."

You couldn't feel anything but that gruesome feeling that's eating you apart. You could feel your heart tearing your own self apart as she spoke more.

"She looks at you as if you're hers, y/n. Not to mention she's always touching you, calling you names, always going out of her way to be alone with you... I mean, she asked you out as a joke. Multiple times."

"CC I never thought…" You feel a lump forming in your throat, her words heavy on your heart that were surely more heavier on hers. "I'm sorry, CC."

You reached out to cup her cheek, her body turning to face you, your thumb gently wiping a stray tear that fell on her face. "I'm so sorry, CC. You're not losing me. You will never lose me," you whispered, "I care about you more than anything. More than I breathe. I'm so sorry I made you feel like you were losing me. You have my whole heart, my body, my very soul."

Her gaze softened slightly, you could see that familiar glint you always loved to look at when you locked eyes with her. You missed it. "Is that a promise?"

Gently, you brushed your fingers against her cheek, pressing delicate kisses to her soft skin. "Far more important than a promise. I'll keep it like an oath on my life."

You let your arms wrap around her, feeling her slumping against you, curling against herself between your arms like she was trying to drown all of her burdens for you. "I'm just afraid that you'll leave me. I'm sorry for blowing up on you. I'm sure Clarissa is great."

CC felt warm, comforting, a presence that made you feel like everything to her, how she always kept you grounded. "It's alright, CC. I've been there before, don't worry. And for the record, I'm kind of getting tired of showing her around. Just a slight bit. I'll try introducing her to some people."

CC smiled against your neck, "You don't have to ignore her completely, baby. It's fine. I think my insecurities just got the best of me."

She's as comforting as the day you met her. The comforting sense of love, how you'd wake yourself up everyday just to see her face. Even if your heart gives out, you'd work through turmoil for it to beat for her. Even if you're tired, you'd manage enough energy for her to enjoy life with you.

"I'll never let you doubt my love for you again. No one could ever replace what I'm feeling with you, no one could ever replace you. You're simply everything baby, everything that life never gave me and everything life never offered."

You press a tender kiss to her forehead before making your way to her lap, pulling her collar and capturing her lips in a soft yet deep kiss.

CC responded eagerly to your kiss, closing her eyes while she let her hands wrap around your waist as she parted her lips to invite yours in as her tongue slipped between them.

With a low groan of ecstasy, you welcomed her intrusion, your own tongue fighting with hers yet you surrendered almost immediately, every touch of her in on your body sent shivers down your spine, leaving you craving for more of her.

You could feel her hands sliding under your shirt, the simple warmth of her touch, how her fingers glided smoothly against your skin and trailing to your chest was like reassurance that you were wanted and loved by her, how you were only hers.

"Baby…" you managed to murmur between her assaulting kisses that only seemed to spur her on as you went limp on her body, "have I ever told you I love the way you talk..."

You couldn't help but grin at the soft chuckle that escaped her pretty lips at your words, her kisses only growing more fervent as CC pressed herself against you all while she looked up at you with those eyes, waiting for you.

"The way you smile…" you trailed off, tugging at her shirt, tracing your fingers along her jawline, "the way you get jealous, the way you get so competitive sometimes, the way you look so lovely every waking moment, it's intoxicating."

You kissed her deeply, savoring the taste of her lips as you softly bit at her bottom lip, your voice turning husky and needy with desire, "Most importantly, I love the way you fuck me into your bed every night. You know no girl could drive me insane like what you're doing to me right now."

You didn't miss how CC's breath hitched at your words, how her eyes darkened with desire almost immediately as she pulled you by the collar of your shirt and flipped the both of you around. her hands roaming all over your body as she mumbled to her breath.

"I want you," she pleaded, "I need you, y/n, please." It wasn't a question, she needed this.

You wrapped your legs around her waist, pulling her close, feeling the heat of her body on top of yours as you mumbled a weak 'yes.'

CC took her time in showering you with the amount of kisses she wanted to give you, offering everything you needed with tenderness you never thought existed, the special attention that she always showed to you, worshipping every inch of your body.

She looked up at you, noticing the way your eyes closed, uncertain of whether it was out of pure bliss or discomfort. "Y/n, is this okay?", she asked softly, squeezing your hand that laid off to the side.

That was the thing about CC that you always adored, how she took the time to make sure you were comfortable in whatever she was doing. Whether she was rough or not, she was still so gentle with you, treating you as if you were porcelain about to break.

In the span of three years, her sweet and caring nature never faded no matter how much time you'll be spending time with her. She was the sweetest girl that only you knew.

You smiled at her, "Yes, CC, everything is okay. Just remind me of how much I'm yours to handle."

She nodded before returning to her usual, pulling up your shirt until it was completely off your body, "You're always so gorgeous…" She whispered against your skin, pressing her lips on your body, trailing down your chest. Each touch was gentle and tender, all just for you to feel cherished.

"I'm gonna take it off, okay, sweetheart?" CC murmured before she was lifting up your hips herself, her fingers sliding into your waistband and discarding your shorts and undergarments off to the side.

You gasped at the sudden cold air hitting your warmth as CC knelt below you to get the perfect view of your pretty pussy she so adored.

You suck a moan under her hot breath against your clit, her arms wrapping around your thighs to pull you in, "Baby, please…"

"I'll get there, pretty girl." CC whispered, taking soft licks of your juices, lapping them as she inched a little further into your warmth, groaning against you.

She looked up, watching how your body reacts with her each touch she had on you, whether she should follow your wants or what she needs to be satisfied.

She could see the flicker of pleasure in your eyes, the way your breath hitched, how you sound with every whine that elicited from your glossy lips, the way you try to cover your moans with your palm.

CC moved away, your needy whine didn't go unnoticed, her lips brushing against your wet clit before wrapping around the needy warmth and sucking gently, your body instinctively creating the perfect arch, your hips rolling into your face as you chased to get the most friction out of her mouth as she held you down by her arms.

But just as you felt nearing an orgasm, CC pulled away, only leaving you panting and wanting more.

She towered over you, spreading your legs as she leaned in closer, the sight of your juices on your lips turned you on even more.

"What do you want, baby? Tell me," she whispered, leaning in closer and planting soft kisses along your face as she waited for your answer.

"You… want you.. inside," you whispered, "want all of you, right now, please…" you moaned as the words spilled out of you in a desperate plea, discreetly rolling your hips against her thigh.

CC smiled down at you, her touch gentle and loving as her hands trailed down below to caress your soft skin before giving you what you wanted, while the other hand held up your head, showering you with praises after praises.

You kissed her back, feeling her fingers slowly inching towards your entrance that sent shivers down your spine. You tried to kiss her once again, trying to drown out your rather loud moans yet your efforts failed.

"Such a good girl, you're taking me so well..." CC praised you, smiling against your lips, "You're so pretty like this, baby. All just for me." She inserted all three fingers inside of you, stretching you out in the most delicious way possible.

"F-fuck! CC, please," you moaned, looking up at her as she looked right at you back, covering your mouth with only your palm. Getting caught having sex with your girlfriend at night in a literal college dorm wasn't in your applications at all.

CC, however, seemed unfazed as she panted, rolling and curling her fingers inside of your warm heat, always finding that one spot that had you seeing stars. "Are you close?" she asked, speeding up her pace.

You could only nod frantically in response, feeling a knot tightening in your stomach, "Yes, yeah, I'm close," you gasped, your body almost trembling in pleasure.

"You know, Clarissa is only a dorm away from us." She took hold of your wrists and held them high above your head, her grip still soft to touch, like she was still trying to take care of you. "You're going to scream my name. Not 'baby', not 'love', not Clarissa or whatever her name is. Not anyone."

Your eyes widened in surprise, your mouth opening to protest, but you were cut off before you could speak.

"I want everybody to hear that you're mine, especially her." She continued, her fingers pushing deep into you as you arched your back, "I want her to know how good I'm fucking you, how well you're taking every inch of me. Tell them what a good girl you are for me."

In your clouded haze, you desperately nodded with half-lidded eyes that stared back at her, your mouth half opened as she kept eliciting pathetic moans and whines from your lips.

"M' gonna cum, baby… CC, please," you whimpered, your voice strained and coming out in choked sobs, feeling the knot tightening deep inside of you. CC relentlessly pushed you closer to the edge, your back arching as she whispered praises after praises.

She released your arms from her grasp and you immediately wrap them around her neck, pulling her impossibly close to your body, her fingers thrusting deeper inside of your pussy while her thumb traced your clit in circles.

"Don't hold it, y/n. Cum for me, pretty girl, it's alright," she whispered as you brought her close to your neck, pressing one last kiss to your skin, satisfying everything inside of you with one last thrust.

You cum almost immediately after, "CC! F-fuck!" you moaned, making sure everyone can hear you. Your walls clenched around her fingers all while she still tried to pump them in and out of you, her hand slick with your cum that went nowhere but down her palm.

You wrap your legs around her waist, seeking support in her body as your own trembled in pleasure, your back arching as you gradually went down from your high, "M' all yours, CC! S-shit, you're fucking me so well!" you gasped, your words coming out in ragged breaths as you were brought to a back to back orgasm.

While you were coming down from your high, CC was already showering you with kisses all over your body, whispering sweet nothings, words of praises and adoration that automatically flowed on instinct from her lips, "I'm right here, y/n. God, you're so so so perfect."

When she felt your body begin to relax, going limp on CC, she gently withdrew from you, reaching out for a nearby stand to grab a pair of tissues. She wiped her fingers clean and gently cleaned the beads of sweat that formed on your forehead.

"You did so well, baby," she murmured, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips. "I'm so proud of you, pretty girl. I love you so much."

CC slid her arms under your body, lifting you up and placing you against the headboard, taking note of how your eyes were shut close and your breaths were slightly labored. "Y/n? Y/n, are you alright? Was I too much?"

You chuckled softly, opening your eyes to meet her gaze as she settled into your lap, her arms wrapping around you protectively. Like you'd run away and never return into her hold. Her eyes were too pretty, too full with love and care for you, almost as if you already died and went to heaven.

"You were too soft, actually." you laughed, leaning in to kiss her, tasting her natural lipgloss with the mix of your juices; an odd taste you'd say. "Is that what jealousy gets to CC Walker?"

"Definitely not," she replied almost immediately. "But seeing you with her makes me feel like I am. I needed to feel close to you, for you to feel close to me…" Her voice trailed off, her words faltering. She was always the one who talked alot about her feelings, yet it always seemed so distant and struggled.

"Well, you're not really mine mine since, of course, you don't really belong to anybody. Hell, even I don't own you and no one should think that! But you know I just—"

You reached up to cup her cheek as you cut her off, your thumb brushing lightly against her skin, a gentle smile playing on your lips.

"Oh, you know a girl batting her eyes at me won't change the way I feel about you. That's completely ridiculous," you reassured her. "You're always going to be my top 1. You have my birthday on your jersey for fuck sakes, who couldn't say no to that?"

Her lips curved into a smile, a relief expression is what you'd assume. "Guess you've brought up a solid argument," she laughed, leaning into your touch. "I'll run you a bath, okay?"

"I'll come with," you were already trying to stand up until CC pushed you back down.

"As... a trophy winner of an international soccer team, I suggest you lie back down. Maybe watch a couple of movies or two and let me do the taking care part." She leaned on your forehead and walked to the shower, already gathering your clothes and towel.

You sat up from the bed, a stupid smile across your face as you watched this girl do everything for you. Oh, the way she was so sweet for you was unbelievable. "Don't you need a degree for me to believe you?"

"Yeah!" She yelled across the room, "But I am your girlfriend and you believed me when I said I almost quit soccer because of a shoulder injury when in actuality it was my mom. So." She shrugged, already entering the shower and turning on the faucet before returning back to you.

"You're simply awful." You smiled as you watch her come back with a water and her laptop. "I love you." You say as you kiss her forehead.

"I love you too. So much." She smiled, "but one thing." She sat beside you, rising up a blanket to cover your naked body as she waited for the bathtub to fill. "You have to promise me that you'll keep your eyes on me. And me only."

"Still on Clarissa?"

"Unfortunately so."

You chuckle. "Then, I promise on my life that I'll keep my eyes only for CC Walker. And CC Walker only."

"Forever?"

"Forever and Always."

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a/n: this is longer than i anticipated it to be

[modelbus]

eyup model!! Hru?? Hope all is well… but lets get to the important shit, THATS RIGHT! ITS ME, YOUR SELF PROCLAIMED FAVOURITE ANNON, ✨🌌🌙!!! Y’know, the one that writes SUPER detailed, SUPER long and SUPER off-topic-for-the-first-half requests!!!! (If I keep this up for long enough, you’re gonna have to add a ✨🌌🌙 Annon section to your master list. /hj)

that makes me think about when I first requested, I wonder how long its been.. I THINK my first req was Cut Chaos.. one sec lemme check………

AYE IN 4(ish) MONTHS IT’LL BE A YEAR SINCE I STARTED HARASSING YOU WITH MY THINK OF BRAINS!

been a while.. I’ll need to remember to write a DUMB request in june.

SO. REQUEST. YES. I DO THAT? I DO THAT.

okay so idk how to format this but here,

She/Her pronouns for plot. y/n is honestly, REALLY bad at pvp, she’s know amongst the SBI for being.. a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but the wolf has no teeth. She likes flowers, pastel pinks, purples, and blues, she likes cottage core dresses and corsets.. So on the surface she looks like a pretty, little, innocent streamer!… yeah, no. Sure, shes pretty as fuck, but little? She is SURPRISINGLY TALL. half the fan base is fully convinced EVERY photo shes in is photo shopped, but sure enough, shes 6’4! Innocent? Say the words ‘Arson’ ‘Crime’ or ‘Manslaughter’, and you practically summon her. (Every SMP she has been on, has in-fact seen not only her enemy’s but HER OWN, Builds being blown up and/or burnt to the ground AT LEAST, 3 times.) shes also know for her ADORABLE builds (shame half of them end in ash..), her parkour skills.. and uh.. being complete garbage at anything pvp.

Well twitter being twitter, a lot of sexist 12 year old boys, and Andrew tate fans like to be.. REALLY creepy and all ‘perfect house wife’ about her. (You get the gist no more detail needed.) While they may not know it(they ignore it/pretend its fake), she’s actually quite strong in real life, often picking up her friends in irl streams and running away with them as a bit (with consent ofc)! But in minecraft, that doesn’t really show.. so naturally being the absolute fucking queen she is, about a year ‘n a half ago, she decided she was gonna be fucking great at pvp. Naturally not telling anyone but techno (so he could teach her, duh) and avoiding all pvp for a year, lead to people joking about it more often.. this didn’t bother her, it was actually perfect, she had been getting better. Like really. Danm. Better. Practicing even without techno and on an alt, and at this point? It felt natural to be disappointed at a 25 win streak.. she went from 0 to about 30-40 average win streaks.. in a year and a half.. she was dedicated, okay? Her fans did notice her getting a little rusty at parkour but they just assumed she had been to busy to practice as much.. they were right but not about what she was busy doing.. So, she obviously invited the sbi, and a few other friends (Tubbo, Ranboo and Dream.) to play a custom pvp themed game, with the stream titled ‘I haven’t pvp-ed in a year and a half, and now I’m doing it again.’ where they were split into two rounds, (y/n and techno being in both but the rest in one) all in hardcore and spawned on opposite sides of the map, having 30 minutes to gear up, before pvp was turned on, and no going to the end, no other rules than one hour to be the last one standing, they could team, they could camp, they could use tnt minecrarts, they could go to the nether, anything. it was all game.

only two people expected her to crush almost everyone. I’m not even sure if those two people were expecting her to come second one round, and WIN the other.. but with her getting half the kills in round one and losing to techno in a final battle where she held her fucking ground like a boss ass mother fucker, and winning after techno killed Dream and she ambushed him after using a god apple..

lets just say after a couple things trending, a lot of fanart and A LOT of sapphic women going crazy, nobody dared to question her dedication to proving she was a fucking force to be reckoned with again.

(It also became a very popular running joke that she got more women than any other Minecraft CC.. you don’t gotta include that just- just make it cannon.. oops, dropped my gay onto the request lemme fetch that rq..) (yes, I wrote this y/n as my fuckin dream girl, I’m a simp okay..)

haha.. ha.. BRO AT THIS POINT I’M JUST WRITING A FIC AND TELLING YOU TO RE-WRITE IT BUT MAKE IT GOOD I- feel free to change what ever, the top half is mostly just context- even if you don’t do this request you should reply to it so its not lost to the void- I.. I’m sorry man I keep doing this to you-

OH WELL JUST PRETEND THIS IS WAY SHORTER THAN IT IS OR IGNORE IT IDC EITHER WAY HOPE THIS GIVES YA INSPO POOKIE (the pookie was ironic I swear-) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon

For our one year anniversary I’ll make a special section of my master list just for you bbg <3 also don’t judge me for this title I was STRUGGLING

Pairing: what the fuck anymore Actual pairing: Fem!Reader x Cc!Phil, Cc!Tommy, Cc!Technoblade, Cc!Dream, Cc!Tubbo, Cc!Ranboo

Flower Power

You were pretty happy with who you were. A badass woman who just so happened to be the epitome of flower power? Hell yeah.

Fairy lights twinkle in the background of your setup, a wall full of vines and LED signs providing extra ambience. That’s not to mention the special keyboard—resin flower keycaps, they were on sale okay—alongside your setup in general. Even your mic had cute animal stickers on it. Well, except for the one Tommy gave you of his face? It was weird.

Right now, though, you aren’t at your cute setup. No matter how much you loved it, you were at least aware that you couldn’t send every waking moment at it. You weren’t quite that much of a content machine.

So of course you go outside to film vlogs with Tommy! Totally reasonable break from filming content: film more content!

Jokes aside, you loved hanging out with your friends. Getting dressed up just for Tommy to inevitably ruin it was practically your good luck ritual. The sheer number of skirts, shawls, and even socks he owes you is astronomical.

Today he had promised nothing messy (for once), so you took your chance. Pale blue corset embroidered with flowers and a flowy white skirt, you were practically screaming your aesthetic to anyone who looked at you. And Ranboo had given you a dandelion for your hair, which only added to it.

”Tall fuckers to the back for the photo!” Tommy shouts, and the poor bystander he roped into taking the photo stares. “Which obviously means me—“

“Get your short ass back in front.” You order, snagging his shoulders and forcing him in front of you. From your side, Ranboo snickers.

“Welcome to the club, king.” Tubbo tells Tommy before grinning at the camera.

“What the fuck.” He grumbles. “She’s hardly any taller than me!”

“Keep lying to yourself.” You put your elbow on his head, just to add insult to injury.

“Um, I got the photo I think.” The stranger says, holding Tommy’s phone out to him. He takes it without even looking at the photos.

“Thanks.” He says after you clear your throat pointedly to prompt him.

Seeing their chance to escape, the person just nods and hurries off without a single glance back. Probably glad to be rid of your wayward group of streamers and YouTubers.

“It’s a decent photo.” Tommy begrudgingly admits.

“It’s my cue to leave, actually. I’ve got plans.” Tubbo says, checking his phone.

“Why do you get more bitches than me?” Tommy whines.

“…it’s my mother.”

“And we all know I get the most bitches.” You jump in, high-fiving Ranboo blindly. You nearly hit his face, but that’s okay. It would’ve been funny.

“Oh shut the fuck up.” Tommy elbows you, all gangly limbs and pointy bones. “We’re playing Minecraft later, right?”

“Not me.” Tubbo reminds him.

“No shit. I was talking to these two idiots.”

“Hey!”

“I’ll be on.” You lean over him, looking at his phone for the time. “You’re aware we need to leave if we want to make your stupid fucking steam time?”

He looks down, eyes widening. “Oh shit!”

Just for making you run home, you blow up his house on Minecraft. For the fourth time. It was ugly looking anyway, nothing like your adorable mushroom house, so he was practically begging for it to be exploded.

It’s his fault. Always.

-

“You really want to attack me from there?”

Your hands freeze on your keyboard mid-movement, making your character in game also freeze at Techno’s words.

“Not anymore?” You laugh nervously.

“Right answer. Try this again and I’ll pretend like I don’t see you.”

PvP training was going great, and by that you mean you’ve been killed every single time by one swing of his axe. It was no secret that you were bad at fighting. Your go-to tactic was to load up on TnT and hope for the best, which met… many criticisms.

And you were sick and tired of it. It’s time to reinstate your badass reputation and become a ruthless killer in a video game. Innocent bedwars players would never know what hit them! Hopefully, at least. Right now, you’re still working on that.

“Fuck!” You exclaim as Techno kills you yet again, the respawn screen flashing up.

“If you with to defeat me, train for another—“

“I’m trying!”

-

@ GenericUsername Anyone else notice that our resident flower girl has been avoiding PvP… poor girl is TIRED of being flamed

-> @ EatingLipSkin She deserves it for how shit she is for dying to magma blocks that one time

-

Slowly, so fucking slowly, you watch your bedwars win streak increase. Slowly, you watch your skywars win streak increase.

Somehow, against literally all odds, you’re learning how to girlboss PvP. Although when you told Techno that he seemed mildly confused, but you were definitely girlbossing PvP.

Which was exactly why you knew this stream was a good idea.

After a year and a half, you were hosting a huge stream with a bunch of your friends competing in a PvP tournament. Tommy insisted on there being a prize, so whoever wins gets the highly esteemed Tesco’s gift card you’ve had in your desk for five months. A battle of true honor, of epic consequences.

“Alright guys, so here’s my plan.” You tell your stream, mining some wood to craft basic tools. Everyone has 30 minutes to gear up, then it’s an hour till the winner is crowned. With the map having a small border, you’re counting on some cheeky kills from sneaking up on others. “I mine first, stock up on iron. Make a diamond axe if I can, but mostly go for lava buckets and backup gear.”

Your plan is put into motion quickly. With the new iron veins, it’s incredibly easy for you to get geared up within fifteen minutes. Venturing back up to the surface for food, you spot Tubbo without any armor killing sheep.

Perfect.

Sneaking to hide your name tag, you venture up a tree to get closer to him. You added a proximity mod, so you can hear him talking to his stream.

“We need lots of food, chat. All these guys— these guys don’t know the importance of food!” He’s saying. It’s a smart plan; if only you weren’t planning on killing him and taking his food.

“Hi Tubbo!” You shout, dropping down and killing him with a few swipes of your axe. “One down, just a few more to go!”

As people die left and right—most dying to you, to everyone’s surprise—you pointedly avoid Technoblade. The student will never surpass the master, after all. All your tricks came from his playbook and you really didn’t want to see how competitive he’d get for a gift card he’d never even use.

Dream was slain by Technoblade

Your eyes widen in surprise at the chat message, quickly stretching your fingers to press tab and bring up the list of players left alive. Only yours and Techno’s show.

“Oh no.” You breathe, freezing. “Oh God, chat. I have to murder Technoblade. I have to disassemble his organs and destroy his aorta.”

Suddenly, you’re paranoid as all hell. Randomly going into F5 as you kill cows, checking every angle.

“The student thinks she can challenge the master?” Techno asks, and you shriek in surprise as he digs up from below you.

“I fucking knew you’d say that! You predictable pig!”

“But you didn’t know where I was going to come from.” He points out. You know him well enough to detect the faint line of amusement in the words.

You groan, eating a steak. “Let’s dance, Technoblade.”

“Let’s die, actually.”

He comes at you with an axe, immediately disabling your shield. In retaliation, you swap to a fishing rod to lure him back in when he tried to run off.

As the two of you fight, you find yourself getting closer to your monitor, keeping your mouth shut as you concentrate. Fingers flying across the keys, you scroll to your lava bucket and attempt to burn him. By some miracle, he manages to avoid it and get a hit in on you.

“Oh my God.” You breathe at seeing how many hearts it takes. “Is that fucking enchanted?”

“Is yours not? Get good, nerd.”

You jump past him, placing a quick block to act as a barrier as you smack him with your own axe. Diamond, so it should make up for the difference in strength of his enchanted iron axe.

He loops around a tree, but you momentarily lose track of him. “Where the fuck—?”

As you notice your hearts depleting, you whirl around. Instead of doing the smart thing a retreating, you jump forward and crit him out. If he were any other player (cough cough, Tommy), he’d run. But he’s Technoblade. And all he does is crit you in return, killing you.

“Fuck.” You groan, leaning back in the chair.

<Technoblade> If you wish to defeat me train for another 100 years

Rolling your eyes at the chat message, all you can do is wait for the server to be reset with a new map and everyone living again.

You do the same tactic again, gearing up as quick as possible. It seems like other people have stolen your idea, but go about it in different ways based on the achievements. In the chat, you watch as Ranboo gets the achievement for entering the nether and then Tommy gets it right after.

“I will gift twenty subs if one of them isn’t dead within… five minutes.” You wager to your chat, laughing slightly. They’re still busy freaking out that you placed second last round, making you smile. “Guys, what’s wrong? You didn’t think I’d get kills? What am I known for if not manslaughter?”

A few minutes later—just under five minutes, might you note—Ranboo’s death message pops up. And then so does Tommy’s. Ranboo was killed by Tommy, but apparently Tommy burned to death? You can definitely picture his dumb ass walking into fire.

“Well… looks like I’m aiming for Phil.” You sigh. “I’d feel too bad to kill Tubbo again. But I’m not fucking with Dream or Techno— losing fights and all that.”

You start mining up to the surface, digging through some deep slate you had gone through. “Wait, is this wood?” You ask, scrolling to your axe to mine through the oak planks. You mine directly through a mineshaft, gasping in surprise. “Oh!”

There’s a chest in a minecart right in front of you, so you open it, hoping for some cheeky diamonds. You’ll even take wheat; food is food.

“Oh my God!” You shriek, probably bursting more than a few eardrums. “A god apple— oh my god! We’re fucking winning this one, guys! Cower at my name! But first we’re getting out of here before a spider kills me.”

You run around for a few minutes before stumbling into Dream and promptly running the other way directly into Phil’s house. Why he was building a house on a PvP server? You’ll never know.

“Oh, hi mate, what’re you doing?” He asks, hands empty of any weapons. You scroll onto your flint and steel silently. “Listen. We can talk about this. You don’t need to do this.”

“It’s too late, Philza Minecraft.” You answer, lighting some of the logs on fire. “Should’ve made it out of stone!”

Turning, you light the ground under him on fire then scroll over to your axe. He’s not expecting it, and although he gets a hit in with his empty fists, you still kill him.

“Just Techno and Dream left now.” You note. “Let’s just… hope they battle it out.”

To keep yourself occupied as you wait for the last five minutes before the borders shrink, you start setting cows on fire and collecting flowers. Poppies and dandelions fill your inventory, your little good luck charms.

“Alright guys. Someone go sneak into Techno’s chat and snitch on what’s happening for me.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Kidding, kidding. Don’t do that.”

Just as the one-minute warning pops up I no chat, Techno’s death message does. You gasp loudly, before grinning. “It’s my time to shine! I’ll avenge Techno!”

The world border starts to shrink behind you, but you’re already on the move. Knowing Dream, he’ll probably be in the center of the map. If you can catch him while he’s looting Techno’s body, you have no chance of losing.

“Stop saying good luck chat, I don’t need any good luck.” You grin, spotting Dream’s name tag. “I’ve got skill.”

Before you throw yourself at him, you eat your enchanted golden apple. If you trade blows, you’ll end up winning with the extra health. And two hearts is all you need.

“Ohhhh Dream!” You shout, catching him with a swing of your axe as you jump past him.

“AHH— what the fuck? Where did you come from?” He runs after you, making you do awkward jumping around to avoid his fishing rod.

“Stop! Stop that, I can’t— Dream!”

“Are you regenerating? Did you go to the nether?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile.

Because God apples don’t just give you extra hearts; they give you regeneration.

“I did one better.”

You hit him with your axe again, trading blows with him just like you thought you might.

“You’ve got to be low, how low are you?” He asks, hitting you again, but it’s too late. His body explodes on his death, his items flying out everywhere. You throw your chair back, jumping up and shouting.

“SUCK MY FUCKING DICK HATERS! I’M THE NEW PVP GODDESS AROUND HERE!”

-

@ WomenLover MOMMY? SORRY... MOMMY? SORRY

->@ TheRealBIcon dont be sorry we all thinking it she HOT HOT

@ S4pph1cSarah Anyone else see that fanart of her winning the PvP tournament… woo boy…. I’m… not okay…

@ S4pph1cSarah A thread of the HOTTEST fanart I’ve ever seen of our beloved streamer <3

@ SmexyWomenNearMe Me: “where is she?” “Her parkour skills are rusty how odd” “she’s streaming less” Her: “Watch this fuckos I’m badass and a killer”

->@ TwilightReference ”this is the face of a killer Bella”

@ CottagecoreBadass Can we talk about how dedicated she is? Like yeah she’s hot. So hot. But she’s also insanely badass and commited???

->@ CuteBuilder101 Best type of woman fr fr ->@ StarAnon Cottagecore + badass + chaotic force of nature = her (my dream woman)

@ StarAnon She really just drew all the women lovers outta hiding huh

@ ThisIsTheWriter Idk if I want to be her or if I want her but man. Oh man. I’m so bi.

[tirfpikachu]

i mean there’s genuinely no difference between a frat bro saying ‘i’m a lesbian too haha’ and a ‘transbian’… they are males intruding on a female exclusive sexuality that has always and will always face harassment from males just for daring to not feel attraction to them. a man did not grow up with the same experiences as a lesbian. a woman did not grow up with the same experiences as a gay man. they are heterosexuals with het privilege inserting themselves into gay spaces and it is insulting to actual homosexuals - who are a very small minority!- to intrude on our lives and communities. i have been pushed out of most mainstream lesbian spaces by ‘transbians’, they revolve around girldick and people who ‘love butches’ who are always just masculine males. i hold no energy for men who claim space for themselves without giving a damn about us - which is most ‘transbians’. because they are entitled males and were raised entitled males. you are doing fine work by being diplomatic but god including ‘transbians’ is downright insulting to lesbians who have been dealing with lesbophobia and misogyny because we aren’t attracted to and don’t relate to trans women *by nature*. they are heterosexual males and lesbians should not be expected to stand by them after they’ve colonized our spaces. it’s disappointing that you hold such an inherently homophobic view about heterosexual people

also are you not supporting bisexual lesbianism/split attraction model by saying people who are trans, have ‘gay experiences’, but are technically hetero/bi can use gay labels? there’s no criteria for lesbianism besides experiencing similar harassment to lesbians? i think you are well-spoken but should interrogate this train of thought more. who does it serve to include bisexual, or, less generously, heterosexual trans people in gay sexuality?

i thought for a really long time about this ask! it's such a complicated topic that ofc seems very obvious to ppl on each side. originally when i answered your previous asks (you or someone else on the topic) i honestly wasn't fully settled into my thoughts about it. i'm still fairly new to spaces that aren't mainstream tra spaces. i don't agree that male ppl who transition into being perceived as gay women with their partners etc have the same intent as fratbros joking abt being dykes. i think they just occupy a space that previously was almost impossible back when physical transition wasn't a thing. they're still struggling to find their own space. yes, they did (and still do) really bad shit to homosexuals and female ppl as a community. i know that firsthand. but i also have seen people transition that way and i think it's always annoyingly more complex than it is at first glance. but i REFUSE to give up exclusive female4female & male4male spaces. i refuse to not hold heterosexual ppl accountable for their consistent homophobia, especially transfems unfortunately due to their male socializing & body differences that causes a power imbalance. though i have seen transmascs who date bio men and say the wildest shit ever, or even trick bio gay men into having sex with them without telling them. like stuff is getting REALLY bad, truly unhinged, and i am worried. i just want to figure this stuff out, and i don't believe all trans ppl are doing this for evil reasons, or even callous reasons.

honestly, i do think the term lesbian has always been so fucking unique and uniquely marginalized. and many people born with dicks, transfems included, have been horrible to me & other biological lesbians. i think we have been denied basic respect for so long and pressured to the point of abuse for some of us. transitioning becoming more accessible makes this issue much worse and more pressing. personally, where i'm at right now is... i am okay with transfems who post-transition live passing as sapphic with their gfs etc (who at times are transfem too) using the term transbian. but i do think them using the word lesbian on its own just digs the knife deeper for the female4female community, the lesbian community, which before very recently - back when physical transition wasn't possible - was always 99.9% bio women and transmasc folks loving each other. it's a very specific term. it is heavily, extremely fetishized, and demonized, and belittled, and is an isolating af experience from a young age. they don't get it. of course they don't. yet their sexuality is extremely complex if they transition; they go from their relationships being shrugged off to facing lesbophobia. just like transmasc ppl who transition can date bio men and suddenly face homophobia. but that's those people immigrating into the experiences that homosexuals, exclusively same-sex/agab attracted people, were born into. they have had a life free of the paranoia of showing any attraction to their opposite sex. it must be confusing as fuck. it must be isolating. but it's not the same. it'll never be, and i think gay female ppl & gay male ppl have really tried to be accommodating... i do believe there can be wonderful spaces where everyone who lives perceived as gay/bi men, or as gay/bi women, can have their respective gay & sapphic spaces that are trans-inclusive. i also believe that we need our exclusive male4male and female4female spaces too. we need a space to let loose and bond over stuff.

i think it would be immensely healthy for trans people who transition into living as gay to form their own specific terms for that. i think right now they exist in a very awkward in-between place where they try to make gay/lesbian terms match. but they're constantly upset when homosexual culture doesn't magically stretch itself to include them at every turn, they view it as an attack and a rejection, bc they don't realize same-sex attracted ppl have unique experiences too. they accept t4t but not us. and at times they're butting into a culture they can't really comprehend, same as if a bio gay guy went into a club full of transmasc people who live as gay men. there would be a totally different vibe, a different culture, and i think it upsets trans ppl to think that they're different. even though it's 10000% OKAY to be different, you need to come to terms with it. it can be dysphoria-triggering, that makes total sense... but it's not healthy for them to try to utterly deny their sex/agab and shove themselves into a box they are incapable of fitting into and pretend that they were always in that box and they 1000% understand that box and anyone who says they were never in that box before or that they're new in it and need to be respectful is just a horrible bigot. anyone making homosexual-specific inside jokes etc are being exclusionary meanies. it's not fucking healthy for them OR for female4female & male4male people. we're all marginalized in different ways, and it's not earning them any favors from us. which actually only isolates them more!

transfems haven't returned the allyship that female ppl so often show them, and especially did earlier on when it wasn't so girldick-in-your-face in lesbian spaces and homosexual-shaming as it is now. i will personally, where i'm at right now writing this, accept the term transbian to mean someone who has immigrated into the experience of being perceived as a lesbian, faces misogyny & lesbophobia, and may live that way for 30-40+ years or their whole ass lives doing so. i still will consider them my sisters and want to bond over the similarities and differences in our experiences. but they need to fucking understand what they've done, as a group, to bio lesbians and just female4female ppl. and how bio men & transfems are born into privilege, and that doesn't just all shed away the second they grow tits or get surgeries. i will accept transbian for now. but i think them saying they're lesbian women outright has started to feel insensitive to the current cultural tensions within lgbt, and the misogyny & lesbophobia their community has brought us. all the threats and sexual abuse & guilt-tripping they throw at us, in very male ways. i do believe there's absolutely lovely trans women who i wouldn't even recognize as trans and find common ground with when we both talk about our girlfriends and how shitty society treats lesbian-passing couples. i think homosexual bio men tend to be better at asserting their boundaries bc female folks are taught to be meek and subservient growing up. but we've finally had enough. it took me meeting trans women who tell me "hey, it's really fucked up how my community treats lesbians. i'm sorry. you deserve better" for me to really start to process my anger. bc it could've been so simple!! but it wasn't. it still isn't. i want transfem allies to rise up and show the fuck up for homosexual female folks. for the og lesbians. i will welcome transbians, personally, but not in all context. and i don't expect them to welcome me in transbian-exclusive context either. i want actual allyship. i know this isn't me fully agreeing with you anon, we still disagree on certain aspects of this. but your ask did help me. and i want you to know i don't take shit from misogynistic transfems, i don't let opposite-sex attracted transfems to speak over homosexuals, i demand mutual respect. opposite-sex attracted trans people who live as gays irl post-transition occupy a very weird space. i want to open up dialogue about that with them and between homosexuals too. at the very least, more and more transfems are peaking and properly apologizing & showing up for us. little by little.

i don't know where i am about opposite-sex attracted transmascs using gay. for me, personally, i don't really mind bc it doesn't have the same impact as lesbians having male bodies pressured onto them. i would need to talk to more male4male people, including bio gay men and transfems who are only into other male people. i know some transmascs use the term achillean, and other things like that. some also use gay to mean being same-sex attracted, often they're transmasc4transmasc (and can reclaim lesbian if they so desired, or make new terms). i deeply care for both homosexual rights and people who are genuinely trans and transitioning into new experiences. i'm still trying to learn more and find a middle ground. i know i'm a nicefem by radblr standards or whatever, but whatever.

so yeah, anyways. thank you sm for this ask! it really did stir my brain. i know this isn't as satisfying as if i had outright agreed with you after all this, but i tend to have more nuanced takes since i've been deep in the trans community as a detrans woman and seen how complex life is for people who transition into a gay-passing life. i'm still learning and gathering my thoughts. asks like these really do help.

we need to stand our ground gyns. we need to fight for homosexual rights. we need ppl who immigrate into our experiences to show us basic respect and not demand us to do conversion therapy on ourselves or stop making community inside jokes, just erase all our history to make space for them. we can have overlapping experiences without forgetting to celebrate our differences too. we can have trans-inclusive gay spaces and homosexual-only spaces and trans-exclusive spaces. we can literally have it all and coexist! & they need to start holding their bigots & creeps accountable. we need them to figure this shit out. i get that being a hetero person living as gay, thriving in that way as they're more than welcome to, can be really confusing and isolating and frustrating. but they can't keep doing this to other marginalized communities. it's just not fucking fair.

[dunmeshistash]

im not sure what you originally put as your reasoning for lesbian marcille because you edited it but if its because her succubus is literally just her fictional crush then,,,i have literally seen countless lesbians have crushes on fictional men LOL. and im saying this as a bisexual sapphic, i personally hc marcille as a closeted lesbian too! she really seems the type to buy into heteronormativity to the point where she denies her own sexuality. and ofc there is literally no harm in headcanoning her as bi as well, dunmeshi itself keeps certain aspects of characters vague so they can be up to interpretation

Ah sorry, I said something like "Marcille is probably a closeted lesbian because the men she's into are super feminine". Rereading I realized how it could be read so I decided to just remove it lmao.

But yes I just meant the blorbo from her shows, my wording wasn't great. The closeted lesbian part was also because of like you said, Marcille wanting to conform to heteronormativity, thinking about her wanting Falin to dress more feminine in the modern clothing sketches lmao, she seems like one to deny preferences that wouldn't conform to whats expected.

[angy-grrr]

guys. guys. guys please.

ochako didnt say she's jealous over himiko confessing freely to deku with a cute smile or over her expressing romantic love, she's jealous of the smile she makes when she says she likes someone/is expressing her love.

Ochako is all about smiles like Himiko is all about blood, and in their arc is clear how envy, jealousy, social expectations/keeping peace and love get mixed up quite easily.

People don't want to hear it, but this wasn't about focusing on love confessions. Is the particular face Himiko does when loving someone and expressing it! If you read it, its clear the confession part is contextual -she doesnt love all Himiko's smiles, she disliked the one she gave her when Ochako "rejected" her.

The more I think about them, the more I see them as pure love; they love... life in general. They both love things that arent conventionally how they are supposed to love -ochako loves everyone's smiles, while himiko loves everyone's blood; they find these things beautiful and mean everything is okay.

Someone's blood can mean many things, but flowing blood is all about being alive, its a good thing! Himiko since she was a child doesnt search for taking all the blood, but getting some of it as she admires it so so much. She gets sad over the dead bird and tries to help it, thats her intention all along, like Ochako tries to help others always.

This is why these scenes are important, Ochako is expressing her own admiration and form of love towards Himiko -you dont have to see as romantic, I think she loves life itself a lot and cares deeply about everyone's well being.

The point isnt about focusing on Himiko telling Deku in particular anything, but about how Himiko's expression of love is lovely. She has always been told shes creepy and shouldn't smile, and Ochako, a person who loves smiles, wants to make her smile too, while also feeling jealous of her beauty.

Ochako is expressing her negative emotions to Himiko, and opening up completely about herself and her own selfishness -this whole fight is her being selfish and not heroic, which is what she tells Deku in the epilogue while crying and regretting not getting to save her life.

They both end up opening up about deeply buried insecurities and fears, things not even their closest friends know about.

People forget how Ochako many, many times, fake smiles in order to make others feel better -I think her real smile is much softer, less big-, of course she's going to feel jealous over Himiko's smile when she embodies exactly what she is: love.

Later on, Ochako admits she knows she wont replace the league, but she thought she needed to tell her about her beautiful smile -again, this wasn't about feeling jealous over her being able to confess to Deku, but about her smile.

Im tired of people trying to make this about Deku, changing the contexts and the literal text to push a hetero reading; im so tired of them, its dumb bc this is just fictional characters, but they make me feel like at any moment, they could just be right. Because its hetero, ofc at any moment it could happen, its the safest option and the one dudebros want. It just makes me think about... so many things.

How sapphic relationship are never seen as real, how they could always just be really close friends or be casually friendly like this

How there always has to be some guy in the middle of everything, without the possibility of them growing away from the simplistic beginning; they both like the same boy, and thats what connects them at first. Ochako wants to know who is she, what are her feelings, tell her her smile is lovely. But still, ppl will make this about Izuku, and her "wanting" to confess with a lovely smile, I guess.

How queer shippers never can feel secure in their opinions, bathes could never be about them. Go back to your queer genres, you could never belong here.

[natasha-in-space]

Hey matsuda lover anon here!

so I was thinking about something. So I looovee yoosung very much and for a long while in this fandom being a yoosung fan was quite a tough job because of how people wrote him off as annoying immature incestuos etc.

But as the years went by and we enter the 2020s I have seen things getting quite alot better for us yoosung fans. Of course i am not going to lie there are times i see people mischaracterising him hating him for being 'immature' and even when things have gotten better I still have quite a tendency to be very guarded in the fandom because it hurts me personally to see him getting hate.

But I will still admit that from somewhere around 2021 opinions on him started to get more positive and people have started to love him as the kindhearted loving person he is and actually see that he is not incestuos but a depressed guy who is genuinely working hard to be better and being resilient and optimistic in his struggles.

I partly believe it is because of how from the 2020s there is this movement of embracing feminity in contrast to the whole "disliking anything feminine" shtick we had back in 2010s. And yeah while yoosung is a man, alot of the hate he had gotten is like had misogynistic undertones like many people disliked him for being emotional (and hating someone for being emotional has roots in misogyny because being emotional has been mostly associated with women and the whole "women being emotional" has been used as a reason to downplay and suppress them).

Besides, a very large portion of yoosung fans are sapphic queer people and i had asked my lesbian yoosunger friends and they said that they love him because he is feminine (ofc they dont represent all the sapphic queer yoosungers but my lesbian friends made me THINK).

Oh and I see this similar pattern regarding matsuda in the death note fandom. Now I am quite recent in the Death Note fandom but knowing how Shonen fandoms usually despise emotional characters wayyy more than shoujo or women-targeted medias like mysme (because shonen fandoms have more men who are less tolerant beings and shame their own kind when vulnerable) so I was actually expecting matsuda being disliked by the Death Note fandom. And no surprise he seemed quite underrated and not well liked for being emotional immature and most importantly a hindrance to the Kira task force because of his positive opinions on Kira because of his own "black and white" mentality and "sense of justice". But again even for matsuda, he seems to get quite popular recently and some people even say that he is "overrated"(which is not true i want more matsuda love).

I will also say I see the same for Misa Amane as well, though unlike yoosung and matsuda her rise in popularity as an appreciatable character is more directly related to the surge in embracing feminity because she is a woman.

Hmm, this is a very interesting perspective to consider! Neither Yoosung nor Matsuda are my favorites (though I never disliked either of them tbh), so I cannot speak on their fandom perception as thoroughly as I could with, let's say, Choi twins or Rika. However, I do agree that Yoosung had to suffer a ton of very gross mischaracterization over the years. Granted, this case can be made for pretty much every mm character, especially when the fandom was at its most popular (which is why I honestly hate to think back on that time, and I adore the smaller but more mindful space we all share with each other now).

Reading through your ask made me think and look back on a lot of this fandom discourse I've seen over the years, and I can't help but agree. I never thought of looking at Yoosung's particular case of mishandling his themes and traits in the fandom from a misogynistic perspective. There is definitely some merit to that thought, though. Yoosung is someone who shows off his emotions the most openly out of anyone in the RFA, and he's subsequently a very sweet and romantic kind of guy. He also expresses some very compelling inner struggles with his masculinity in game on multiple occasions, which is also something worth to consider. I've seen and talked to plenty of queer folks in mm fandom over the years who personally headcanon him as trans! So, in a way, Yoosung always had some queer energy about him. Which is lovely! It's great to see folks loving and appreciating him from such a personal place of love.

As for Matsuda, I actually was in a Death Note fandom a while back and, yeah, misogyny was very much a big issue. I have no idea what is it like today, but back then both Matsuda and Misa were... definitely not fan favorites to say the least. I can't speak on Matsuda's behalf much, but, as a Misa fan, it was tough.

While I have tons of modern issues with fandom spaces currently, some things are definitely way better now. It's great to see female characters being perceived with more depth, and it's definitely refreshing to see feminine men be loved and appreciated for who they are, instead of being mocked and ridiculed like they were before. Not that these issues have disappeared completely. But, it's a pleasant turn in the fandom spaces for sure!

Thanks for this insightful message, it was a very compelling read, Matsuda lover anon!

[neoneun-au]

mads! our favorite 🫟burstday🫟album is out.. honestly i had low expectations so i’m pleasantly surprised by a lot of the songs. hated hbd as expected tho lol. pretty good verses and pre-chorus and then… happy birthday to you 👩🏻‍🎤🤘🏼 comes on. least favorite solo was actually jeonghan’s and not dk’s (which is sonically decent but the chorus is still kinda corny 😩). woozi solo genuinely sounds like one of the mass songs we used to sing in my all-girls catholic school way back—not a bad thing, but kinda messes with me LOL

dino solo sounds like an iteration of ‘wait’ if the pussycat dolls did the verses. vernon’s was so close to hitting the ‘intentionally corny pop punk’ mark but there’s something about it that wasn’t doing it for me. wonwoo solo is ‘girl who’s going to be ok’ montage music LMAO mingyu solo is pretty fun and i think this is the best he’s rapped his whole career (low bar ik..) but the rap does sound a bit like lalali. the8 solo makes me feel high. hoshi solo is the most ‘spider’ he’s sounded. love that for him tbh. thunder is pretty fun! but i really need them to let go of that specific “twang” they incorporate into their verse delivery……. the major offenders being hoshi woozi mingyu :(

anyway my ranking: sk solo, joshua solo, hoshi solo, the8 solo, > mingyu solo, jun solo, bad influence > thunder, woozi solo, dino solo > wonwoo solo > scoups solo, dk solo, vernon solo > jeonghan solo > hbd

also irene & seulgi mini album what did u think!! i knew with just the extremely sapphic teasers i would enjoy it lol. sexy, sensual, mature. cohesive mini, it was exactly what you’d expect from them in the best way possible lol. the julie feature sounded great, but with her and her group’s current reputation idk how it’ll be received. least favorite track is girl next door, but it’s nowhere near bad. love the chorus

oof ok i just watched the mv and ill listen to the album as im answering this so you're getting the freshest reaction lmao i just got off work and out of the shower so nows as good a time as any lol

thunder i actually loved. like waay more than i had anticipated (which wasn't much anyway but regardless). i agree its just so fun. sort of in the vibe of hot but not quite at that level. still though, major improvement on the past few imo. its definitely one i will add to my playlist for the year and it has a chance to land in my top 25 but we shall see about that when we get there. i think i see what you mean by the 'twang', i honestly wouldn't have noticed it much if it hadn't been pointed out to me, but there is a definite affectation or style that a few of them are using (mingyus was the most noticable but i can hear it in others). it doesn't bother me personally but if it did its definitely prominent enough that it might have annoyed me haha so i get where you're coming from with that !

CAN I JUST SAY THAT ANYONE WHO REALLY LIKES THE INSTRUMENTALS IN THE MAJORITY OF THIS ALBUM PLEASE LISTEN TO SUPERNATURAL BY FROST CHILDREN AND HARU NEMURI (heavier in the gritty beats and experimental nature but ofc it is i just remembered i was obsessed with this song at the beginning of the year and forgot to add it to my playlist on apple music after i switched from spotify hfjd)

ok ill cut here for the rest cause apparently i have a lot to say (whats new lol)

oof ok so i hate how hbd starts. and how it continues. yeah i just hate it. i like a good industrial flair, and a bit of grit, but this is using it in such a weird way and yeah the lyrics are just so.......ugh kfldhsjakl hate to use this word but CRINGE big time. the guitar might be ok on any other song :')) im skipping after the first chorus i dont care about the rest of this

bad influence i hadnt listened to previously but its not bad ! vernons verse i love actually it suits the vibe/sound of the song so well and i kind of wish he would do more stuff like this just on his own. its a cool song. it doesnt sound anything like it so i dont know why im saying this but it does kind of remind me of pharells old NERD days especially the jason nevins remix of rock star which i was OB SESSED with back when i was doing nothing but playing ssx 3 on my gamecube lol

OH yeah skyfall is it its so good. very nightcore nostalgia in the best way. gorgeous.

joshu solo is fine. it might grow on me but on first listen i dont really care about it much. his voice sounds nice tho

wonwoo ugh....the opening is too postmodern jukebox for me :')) im a self professed theatre kid but even i cant handle that. horns are tough in pop music, especially kpop lol the only group that pulls them off well is onf imo (and momoland but theyre honky honky clown music so). jazz vibes are either great or awful and this is landing in awful for me rn lol rip it is very 'girl is going to be ok' lmaoooo which ok good for him but im just an extra on set walking by silently so idc

sk solo is SO pretty. reminds me of the older k-indie stuff i used to listen to in like 2011/2012. the stuff from the white christmas drama ost. very lush and beautiful. i see why its so high on your list

omg the opening of the hoshi song is so goofy. very him. it is definitely in the spiderverse lol i think i will grow to really like it but i need to listen to it more

mingyu solo is so fun i love it i love a dumb club slut bop pleaaase i need a bm x mingyu crossover jam. honestly i could see myself listening to this so so so so much i used to listen to way to much dizzee rascal to turn this down

dk solo is exactly as expected. consistent indeed. its fine but ugh its just so simple and on an album with frankly a ludicrous amount of either grimy industrial beats or floaty nostalgia it stands out in a strange way

LOL you know what i dont remember any songs from mass from my brief stint at catholic school (aside from us singing sarah mclachlan annually for the graduates lol) but i get it. i can see that. it definitely feels like mid 00s christian music masquerading as secular. switchfoot called, they want their acoustic guitar back

vernon song starts SO good i was shocked at how much i liked the beginning but yeah it kind of loses me in the chorus i agree theres just something missing a little bit. its straddling the line of pop punk and softer jrock which is fine but i wish it picked a stronger lane. im not mad at it though, which is an improvement for his stuff :')) i like the synth in the bridge

jun solo is fine. it could grow on me but its not an immediate fave

dino solo is, as expected, very dino. with an injection of pussycat dolls tho you are SO right. but lets be real. in another life dino was a pussycat doll so

i didnt come into this expecting to like the jeonghan solo and im coming out of it the same way LOL not for me. his voice is also generally not my fave. as a part of the whole hes fine but i dont think hes the strongest singer imo and a whole song thats just him was never going to be a hit for me

i actually kind of love jungle lmao i dont know why. its stupid in the perfect way. like if tarzan became a dj

ok so ranking after the first listen is: mingyu solo/the8 solo/scoups solo > thunder/sk solo > bad influence/hoshi solo > dino solo/vernon solo/woozi solo > jun solo/joshu solo > wonwoo solo/dk solo > jeonghan solo > hbd (on principle. also i just think its really bad)

the irene & seulgi title track didnt hit me like i was hoping it would sadly :'(( but after listening to the mini yeah youre very correct it is just the perfect like sensual, mature, sexy vibe. the julie solo is decent, i dont think it was really necessary (when are they?) but yeah its not great timing thats for suuuure. they really tanked their basically pristine reputation like hoo boy. but the song shes on?? fantastic. the whole mini album is gorgeous and lush and i expected nothing less i just hope the title track grows on me a bit more but naughty was always going to be hard to follow up for me that song kicked my ASS