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You know what's insane about the Hunger AU. the fact that Grian is trying to die because he does not want to inflict pain upon his friends, but that's exactly the thing that's tormenting them. he's become so determined to stop himself that he's hurting them anyway, and it only gets worse the harder he tries. he doesn't want to be cruel but leading the Hermits on like this about the potions is cruel. he doesn't want to hurt them but seeing him half dead is hurting them. i am shaking like a dog
hunger au really is all about how suicidal ideation and mental illness can just twist your entire perspective into a knot.... like the objective reality is that he IS hurting his friends with this and he IS going to hurt them 10x more when it comes to the potions!!! but grian is so caught up in his own head and his hurt and his guilt that he cant see that or accept the cognitive dissonance that comes with acknowledging it. Its a genuinely tragic set of circumstances and being able to showcase the rapid spiral down followed by the slow crawl back up through recovery is so so so rewarding for me as a writer-- not least bc of reactions like these >:]
#shouting speaks#asks#hunger au#compliments#i could say a lot abt how mental illness and ptsd in particular just plays a crazy part in how hunger!grian functions#but i feel like it kinda speaks for itself#theres a certain point where all logic and objective fact goes out the window and youre just running on pure amygdalian emotion#and thats really just where grian is at rn#and the only possible way for him to come back from that is THROUGH his friends' support#ig thats sorta the thesis statement of this fic if it had one-- recovery is a community effort#at the end of the day yes you have to do it yourself but also#i think it is nigh impossible to pull yourself out of the dark without a helping hand of SOME kind#we were made to be communal etc etc etc#IDK IM JUST RAMBLING NOW I HAVE THOUGHTS SOMETIMES#txt
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the magnus archives is a podcast about the horrors of having a job
#and not even just the archives i mean. like every other statement is a look into a different career and the horror extracted from it.#im rlly interested in the fact that a lot of people giving statements have very unglamorous jobs (waste collector/cleaner/exterminator etc)#or are otherwise explicitly working class and live mediocre lives or have fallen on harder times. the cracks in life where the bad seeps in#even a lot of the ppl with fancier hobbies or jobs are often criminals or doing illegal activity. just the way societys laws create gaps#for the bad things to get us. and of course the ARCHIVES where you are stuck in a dead-end job that is actively ruining your mental health#and you literally cannot quit like physically no matter how bad it gets and your boss is the most evil person ever and you are fated to die#to die because of your job. and you had no idea. what could you do? it was your job.#tma#the magnus archives
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I gotta say, I am Not Happy with the frequency with which I'm suddenly finding spiders in my new apartment, nor with the fact that each one has been bigger than the last.
The first one a couple days ago was tiny, maybe like half a centimeter. The next one yesterday was maybe a couple centimeters. Bigger, but still small enough for me to deal with on my own. This morning's I would estimate is about an inch across (firmly in "hell no" territory), and at this rate I'm genuinely concerned I'm gonna wake up tomorrow to a fucking wolf spider or something in my kitchen, at which point I will unfortunately have to burn the entire place down
#arachnophobia#spiders#remembering the time i was tormented by a giant house spider (literally its common name) outside my last apartment in town#literally has to call a friend to come remove it it was fucking ENORMOUS#if i ever see another one of those i might actually just drop dead#as it is today's is in a bathroom so i literally closed the door and shoved a towel under so it can't get out#and i'm gonna have my husband deal with it when he gets here with the rest of our furniture#note: *please* don't come onto this post with ''spiders are so helpful though! they eat bugs! they're good for the environment!'' etc etc#i know! i know all that! i know they're not bad animals and play a vital role in the ecosystem and all that shit!#but please consider how many times i've been shamed for having a phobia using those kinds of statements#any objective facts about them are irrelevant to the fact that i have a bone-deep terror of them and do not want them in my house#i am literally itchy all over and shaking slightly from encountering this one. hearing about how ''they're good actually'' is not helpful#in fact it is deeply invalidating and frankly infuriating#personal#also for those curious all size estimates here do include the legs because in case you didn't know the legs are the worst part
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Y’know, it’s always frustrating in a fandom when a regular ol’ fan makes a claim or states a theory and couches it in terms of “the creators meant this” or “the creator said this,” providing zero actual evidence of the creator saying or meaning “this,” and then thereafter other fans who’ve read the post or heard about it through the grapevine just assume that yes, this interpretation is canon, because “the creator said so” or “the creator obviously meant it.”
This can of course also happen without the original poster making a definite claim the creator did something; they can even say, “I think the creator meant this,” and if enough people read and think “oh hey that makes sense” about the post, later on there will still be people who act like it’s not just a fan-theory, it’s canon somehow.
Frustrating when you don’t share what is essentially a headcanon that’s risen to prominence. (Especially when the creator has actually, provably said the exact opposite thing.) But really, it’s frustrating regardless, because like…nobody asks for evidence? Not “what is there in canon that supports this theory” but “upon what extrinsic proof are you basing your claim that ‘the creator said/meant’.”
Plenty of neat fan-theories and headcanons have some support in canon. But if you’re gonna say “this IS CANON because THE CREATOR SAID/MEANT,” you’ve got to do more than just say that!
(Except, I guess you don’t. Because people will just learn to parrot you without evidence anyway.)
#kidk says stuff#fandom#my two big examples in my own fandoms are:#1) ‘Jhonen Vasquez said Zim is 16 in Irken years’#no he didn’t. NO ONE in LITERAL DECADES of this claim being made/parroted has EVER provided actual proof he said that#it’s literally just someone’s headcanon. that got passed around with the ‘Jhonen said’ support for years#until it got enshrined on a fan-made wiki and thus gained even more undeserved traction#Jhonen never said that—or rather it’s never been proven that he said that—and in fact there’s ample actual proof he’s said otherwise#2) ‘Nintendo made the Yiga Clan as a parody of/caution about real life cults’#I literally read the post that started this one when it was made and the writer posited it as a theory#using ‘I think the developers meant it this way’-type language#and yet! despite this wording in the post that started the theory people now present it as a FACT that this was Nintendo’s intention#such that when I made a post saying it’s my headcanon that the clan is NOT a cult#I got multiple people in my notes/inbox informing me that yes they are because Nintendo definitely intended them to be#I have seen no actual proof of Nintendo/the developers etc. saying this. it’s literally based on a regular fan’s post#((no disrespect to that person—like I said they themself wrote it as a theory and it’s not a bad one!))#((I don’t share it/agree but hey headcanons are headcanons.))#((my issue isn’t with the headcanon itself. it’s with others claiming it’s ‘canon’ when it’s not))#((however this post brought to you by me rereading my headcanon posts and getting to the ‘they’re not a cult in my personal verse’ one))#anyway this happens all the time in every fandom and it’s so annoying#edit: lol realized my lawyer shines through when I say words like ‘extrinsic.’ it means ‘outside’ basically#in this case I mean evidence outside of canon. as in. interviews/posts/statements by the actual creator(s) that this was their intent#as opposed to INtrinsic evidence which in this context would be stuff actually stated plainly withIN canon#((e.g. if Zim actually said he was a teenager by Irken standards in canon or the Yiga referred to themselves as a cult))
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it’s so weird to think that ryuji was only a major character in one canon game. like he’s such a strong character with such a strong personality it doesn’t feel like he was only prominent in one canon game at ALL. he feels almost as ever-present and beloved as someone like daigo and yet he’s basically never even mentioned after kiwami 2. that’s so crazy to me.
#am I saying bring ryuji back? yes. end of statement#same goes for mine to a slightly lesser degree. and somehow yokoyama agrees with me on both of these I think#I am biased in a way because I am one of the few who has been lucky enough to play dead souls but. yeah#those two are also just good examples of antagonists that are almost comically malicious but still somehow have depth under the surface#and redeemability. in a way. not saying mine bulldozing an orphanage is Forgivable im saying he Did start to have a change of heart at the#end of y3 so he’s Capable of change and whatnot. and ryuji’s just a bully who takes his feelings out on other people usually physically#like he’s very much a teenage bully in the body of a gigantic adult man.#cause he never had to grow out of that. no one challenged him/his views/etc enough to do so. until the end of yk2#AND IN DEAD SOULS ITS JUST A FACT THAT HES GROWN AS A PERSON AND MATURED.#it’s somehow a DRASTIC difference in personality from him in yk2 and yet still believable because of how much in his life had to change#and because he is like. the adult version of the previous ryuji. I know ryuji was already 30 in yk2 but you get my point. he wasn’t grown up#not really. (same goes for daigo- they’re such obvious foils for one another it’s so interesting and I wish it was explored more but ANYWAY)#ryuji#yk2#rambling
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ive seen ppl saying smth in the wider plagiarism discussion to the tune of "don't worry anxious people, it's impossible to accidentally plagiarize!" and i feel like that lacks a lot of nuance that anxious brains like mine latch on to to just dismiss the possibility outright, as well as a lack of life experiences fueling it.
it is possible to "accidentally plagiarize" in that you can read something, forget about it, then a while later have your brain spit the ideas back out without telling where it got them. so of course you just assume they're yours and share them as such, because That's Where Most Of The Thoughts In Your Head Come From! and it both is and isn't plagiarism, you weren't /intending/ to pass someone's else's work off as your own, i'd even say in a way you were just as much a victim of misinformation as your audience. but you very much so did still resuse the work of someone else, even if you don't remember it.
but in my experience, this kind of thing also happens to a lot of people. you tell a friend a joke then wake up in a cold sweat two days later realizing the reason they didnt laugh was because they'd told you that joke a month ago. you reply to a friend's text and after sending you realized you ended it with the same exact phrase as theirs. you're writing edgy poetry and write a line you really like only to see it in a text post two days later saying youve already liked the post. like, it happens. so if it DOES happens and you're just honest and explain, people will understand. something like "oh shit im sorry, i totally have read that, i mustve forgotten and only remembered bits and pieces and just thought they were mine. thank you for letting me know and for the source" works wonders.
people know you can forget things. people won't automatically doubt your apology just because all true plagiarists say it was accidental. HOPEFULLY people can understand the nuance between a genuine remorseful explanation, and a thief who hoped no one would find out scrambling for excuses for why they did it. and those who can't, that's a them problem, not a you problem, you've taken responsibility for your actions as much as you can. they think the answer is simple, that the only thing stopping you from saying "yes i did it on purpose, i knew the whole time and deliberately copied them" is shame/inability to admit to your actions. but sometimes things AREN'T that simple, so imo ppl who are shitty to you for not following the script they made up for you in their head should be ignored
#youre allowed to make up scripts for people in fact good luck stopping yourself since thats kinda just part of how conversation works#is you try to predict how your audience will react to a certain statement#and my therapist actually encouraged me to practice run stuff i wanna talk about in sessions because That Makes It Easier To Talk About#like who cares if it's rehearsed‚ it's still the truth‚ yknow?#however that only applies to the things /you/ want to say. you are the only one aware of this script and the only one who agreed to it in#the first place which is why you plan contingencies into the script#is because you only have control over one character and can only take guesses at what the others might say#if you guess wrong and they do something different that doesnt mean /theyre/ not following the script#it means /your/ copy was a misprint and you filled in the blanks wrong. so do what good actors do and improvise. you'll get back on script#eventually. or not‚ if your guesses devolved into wildly speculative fanfiction‚ but frankly you knew going into it that#most of your script was guesswork so you should be prepared to have to make some things up on the fly#or see again: prepare contingencies#if your guesswork on your copy of the script turns out to be wrong‚ wouldnt it be sooo handy to have a second copy which follows this#version of events much better?#and if not that one‚ maybe this third? how about this fourth? etc etc etc#but really just. when guessing at what others will say. know that you are guessing and dont hold it against /them/ if youre wrong#sorry ik that wasnt super related to the post itself im just also passionate abt that#plagiarism#james somerton
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all the conversations on my dash about marriage are soooo interesting to me!! I talked to my partner’s mom last night about my intention to propose to her son this week and one of the things we talked about was how there’s this really insidious aspect of white feminism that convinces us that marriage and family are shameful or stupid to want because the real things in life are outside the home (ie. working under capitalism). That belief has historical roots in anti blackness and the split between white feminists and black feminists back in the 60s/70s. And idk it’s just so interesting to see how my mom, who raised me with a very strong foundation of second wave feminism, influenced my perception of pursuing my own happiness in ways that feel authentic to me! I love hard! And I want to be surrounded by love for the rest of my life! But in the back of my head, the entire six years of my relationship, her voice has been saying “you don’t need a man, marriage is not something to aspire to because it makes you weak and dependent.” Which is just so interesting bc she’s never said those exact words, but that’s the messaging that we get from second wave/white feminism. The thing is that I DO need other people! Nobody is actually independent, and it is a myth created by capitalism to fracture communities so that every single person is financially motivated to secure their own safety/basic needs without ever needing to rely on anyone else! Everybody needs their own personal house, car, furniture, dishes, electronics, etc because sharing is inherently “undeveloped”.
I was talking to my therapist about this recently and I brought up New Romantics, and how being a young adult in a cultural setting informed strongly by second wave feminism really convinced me (and a lot of people) that the Liberated way to be a woman was to not care about seeking that life-long stability in a partner. That to be free meant never opening yourself up to the vulnerability of a marital commitment. Which then leads into the lavender haze thinking of “the only kind of girl they see is a one night or a wife” which, by self-gaslighting, devalues marriage (she’s valid for this! We should not be put in boxes like that!).
Idk I just have been thinking a lot about the right to legally unite families, and how much power that union can have, and that there is in fact nothing Wrong with wanting to exercise the political right to choose your family. And I know, having worked with hundreds if not thousands of domestic violence survivors, how dangerous marriage can be. Being legally and financially bound to someone, especially if you haven’t been working outside the home during your marriage, can truly fuck up a person’s life and their ability to leave a situation. Idk I’m just thinking out loud, but to tie this all back into the conversations on here the last few days about Taylor and Travis, I just think that for some people, the reflexive horror at her potentially being engaged could be coming from a similar place of devaluing the pursuit of family/love in the context of a white feminist capitalist culture, which harms us all.
The revolution starts at home! And that doesn’t mean that nobody should be making commitments to each other ever!! And nobody should be forced or coerced into lifelong commitments, either. Pursuing and entering a marriage with someone who respects you, empowers you, wants to work together towards a shared vision of the future, listens to you, and shares responsibilities with you is an AMAZING thing! And as my partner’s mom said so simply to me last night: it deserves to be celebrated!!
#Marriage#relationships#feminism#c#And like…. To be super on the nose… the fact that my family had two patriarchs (my mom and dad both pursuing capitalistic success)…#Meant quite literally that I was exposed to really extreme child abuse because neither of them were around hardly at all!#Which is not to say that my mom should’ve just stayed home to care for me#But that capitalism very actively destroys lives and subjects us all to horrors by virtue of dismantling communities#And unifying families for the purpose of creating a stronger community (through marital commitment) is a really important right#Just like the right to get divorced is!#And idk I’m glad that Taylor wasn’t married to joe bc that would’ve made things so much harder to escape from#But that’s not a blanket statement about marriage and it doesn’t mean her current relationship is doomed#It means that there was something in her and joes minds that prevented them from taking that step and bc of the rerecords#And other life circumstances#Taylor was sort of forced to confront those issues and do a self autopsy where she reached some important conclusions about how/why she ten#To make herself small/accept love she thinks she deserves etc#And she’s clearly done the work to investigate those things and heal from them#And now she’s with someone who understands those things and wants to support her in being her best self! It’s wonderful!!!
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i'm generally very skeptical of self-diagnosis/using webmd and the like to interpret symptomatology, but given the cesspool of medical info on the internet i understand why people fall down self-diagnosis and/or weird new age wellness rabbit holes so easily. like i had more or less pathological (i.e. daily) sensations of déjà rêvé (déjà vu sensation but applied from dreams to real life situations) in high school and according to the internet it's one of the following conditions: 1. temporal lobe epilepsy, 2. a completely benign indicator of good spatial memory, or 3. a curse derived from ancestral knowledge pools. i'm fairly certain i don't have epilepsy because ive never had a seizure in my life, and i don't believe in curses so i have to assume it's the second thing combined with my preexisting psychologic conditions - but those shouldn't be the most widely publicized diagnoses!! the two extremes of psychiatric raison d'être if you will shouldn't be fighting for dominion over the front page of google. psychiatry as a field is not without its faults and new age psychology is a whole nother can of worms, but people (especially people under duress/experiencing new and unfamiliar symptoms) shouldn't have to wade through eighty-nine line-items of sponsored content that are either poorly-vetted fearmongering or just straight up pseudoscience
#speak friend and enter#imo this is also how you get a bunch of fifteen year olds self-dxing with every severe neurological illness right and left#like you have brain fog and chronic fatigue i don't doubt that. but do we think this might be due to the fact that you're in high school?#like. horses not zebras.#all this to say i think 'psych medicine is a flawed industry and adolescent/AFAB/nonwhite/etc. patients face extra challenges in diagnosis'#and 'don't go diagnosing yourself with what dr. google throws your way in the first five results' are statements that can and should coexis#like if you're having psych symptoms of whatever provenance the logical progression here should be:#lifestyle changes (e.g. 'do we think a vegetable would cause less despair') and THEN doctor (real doctor. not the internet)#like. read marx's theory of alienation and let's get you some fruit.
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hey just to let you know op of this post:
https://www.tumblr.com/bodiesoflight/733794261873655808
is an endo and endo safe (just check the tags). i assume you’re anti-endo so just to let you know. if you arent i apologize for bothering you.
[link above]
thanks for letting us know!
#we feel somewhat more complexly about endo etc stuff than the black and white argument you see most often wrt s/scourse in that we dont#believe in the argument that you can have these things without them being a result of smth actively disordered in the brain e.g.#dissociative disorders and we do feel that there are differences wrt spirituality in poc and that kind of ''multiplicity'' in a sense as an#indigenous asian poc + that there are additional disordered forms of ~multiplicitly~ (possibly just presentation wise) in psychotic#disorders etc and that current psychology leaves a lot to be desired in terms of both research and the general western colonial focus of it#+ being extra aware of the fact this disorder hides a lot from you yknow so theres a lot of room for ppl who identify these ways to#just perhaps not have as much insight or help to recognise there's more going on rather#than ''endo'' theories n we dont rly find the general discussion of how its held as ''s/scourse'' on here productive nor wish to participat#in it much but altogether no we don't quite support endos though we also dont support the belief that every endo is inherently just some#''faker'' etc bc there is so much grey area and Even if they are faking it is often the result of other issues etc so it just doesn't make#much sense to us to not show them the compassion of trying to be understanding to the fact theres more likely more beyond surface level#going on than some malicious or trendy intent and to be cruel to them accordingly etc#— with this post in particular though we feel it doesn't matter all that much since op isn't an endo themselves as#opposed to what this ask says (taken from their pinned referring to themselves as traumagenic) and this post#doesn't make any harmful statements that would be interpreted differently through the lens of endo supporting#so we'll leave it up for now but let us know ofc if op is otherwise fucky or means more than we know with it (as we dont follow or know#anything about op beyond a brief checking their blog)#ask#anonymous#sorry for the longwinded response we just hadn't posted our thoughts on this here yet and figured we'd make an encompassing statement on it#beyond what we've said in our blog description#(<- see link in about or tag in our pinned)#spirituality we mentioned btw wrt ''t/lpamancy'' etc and how its misused by whites in ''s/scourse'' etc#tldr: we find it more complex than the immaturity and black and whiteness of the arguments+beliefs held within s/scourse currently and#made a little statement on that +#feel this post doesn't make harmful statements nor is op an endo so we'll leave it up unless there's more going on#but again thanks for informing us and giving us the opportunity to make a statement on this!
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*sigh.* okay I know this post has a lot of notes so this has likely been said many times before (so sorry) but from what I can see from the picture, this is actually NOT a Spanish (Christian kingdoms of Spain) fortress! Kind of. At least not in the way described in the post. Let me explain.
Now I'm not Spanish myself, I just study this stuff, but I've spent a decent amount of time visiting places like the one in this photo (twice. I've been there.) and studying history and architecture from this period so this claim immediately threw up a bunch of red flags for me. Because uhhhh. Muslims clearly built this fortress.
And when I say "this fortress" I'm referring to the Alhambra. Yeah, this Alhambra.

Ok so basically while I can't confirm 100% this is the Alhambra because none of the angles on the digital tour or in my own photos show that specific angle (notably, the broken wall) I can say with near certainty that he's at the Alhambra. Look at the photo again:


You can see similar features in the 2nd photo (an image I captured of the Alhambra this summer!) The strange point [location 1] in the background of our picture (NOT typical of Moorish architecture) would then be part of the Palace of Carlos V (King of Spain), where we can see the architecture style is markedly different.
& don't play the fortress vs. palace game with me! While our guy above is clearly standing somewhere in the Alcazaba (fortress portion, on the right), the oldest portion of the site, we can see similar buildings below Carlos V's palace, those being the palaces of the Nasrid dynasty, the series of Muslim rulers who were defeated when Ferdinand and Isabel took Grenada in 1492, ending the reconquista and taking the Alhambra as their own seat of power.
Basically the joke here (while funny!!) Isn't accurate because his claim that the Spanish built this fortress is incorrect bc even if it wasn't the Alhambra (which it totally is) it means that the Spanish would had to have built a fortress specifically following the styles and architecture of their enemy sometime during the centuries of reconquista instead of just. taking over a muslim-built fortress and adding a few of their own bits and pieces (maybe). Which like they're known for doing.
Like there are some historically Christian-built buildings that exist in imitation of Muslim architectural styles that do exist in Spain - aka the Mudéjar art style (ex: Pedro I's Palace in the Alcázar of Sevilla for one) but you wouldn't see that with a fortress??? Idk this got long but it's a strange claim that any Christian king would have built this, especially if it is (it is) the Alhambra which is like very famously and very clearly Islamic site. Like in the palaces they have Quran verses engraved into the walls and everything. Like that's literally what it's known for?? Also the founding purpose wouldnt be to "keep the Muslims out" it would just be to keep other ppl out. Bc thats what a fortress is for. Also Muslims built it.
TLDR; the joke is funny but does not work historically with the location pictured (where it makes no sense), which was used for essentially the exact opposite purpose described in the post. So anyways love the spirit but he would have made more sense going for a "reverse reconquista" joke instead
#this got sooooo long im sorry but like. i literally study this and what hes saying makes no sense im sorry#i mean i guess its theoretically possible its some other fortress where this happened but like. dude its the alhambra clearly. hes visiting#the alhambra.#i literally guided a tour of this entire freaking complex for my university theres a 0% chance the castilians or whoever built that wall#behind him. 0%. id put more money on it being the romans over them (CLEARLY not the romans) like im sorry. no.#anyways apologies to prev and op and whoever has to see tjis bc it got long and isnt the most well explained (its late) but like. 👍#i think the joke is rlly funny but i study this stuff so likee#anyways if i got a vocab word wrong (mispelled nasrid or smth) it bc i had to google the english words for some things bc i only knew#them in spanish bc thats what i gave the tour in etc.#anyways love talking abt this kind of stuff. i have many more alhambra fun facts floating around btw#also i KNOW carlos v is technically carlos i of spain but hes carlos v of the holy roman empire and literally everyone calls him carlos v so#like shut up abt it <3 thats the guys name lets not be pedantic (hypocritical statement of me)
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got my grubby hands on a copy of “the killing joke: deluxe edition” at the bookstore and absolutely dropped it cuz i refuse to acknowledge that canon actually
#bruev the comic was NOT for kids and if anyone said its for kids im showing them that one#traumatized asf#the fact bruce. barb. jim gordon DIDINT kill joker idk if its a statement to their integrity etc cuz that was HELL#the killing joke#batman#dc comics
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Please do not send me asks for donations
Here's why (for if you find that statement hard to understand):
I have NO money to give you.
I don't have a big enough audience for my asks to get noticed.
I am a minor, and most of my followers/mutuals are too.
It makes me feel extremely guilty.
Seeing pictures of injuries or hospitals etc are triggering and/or upsetting for me. These pictures often have blood, gore, extreme medical situations, hospital environments, etc. I'm not saying I don't feel sympathy for them, I'm saying I do not want to see that.
They are always worded in a way that makes me feel like I am a murderer if I don't donate.
I said I don't want them, and my boundaries should be respected. They make me feel uncomfortable, and sometimes triggered or upset.
I can't tell what is a bot/scam and what isn't.
I get a lot of spam from this.
Please, just respect the fact that I have said this.
If you want this in your pinned post, please don't credit me. You can copy the words or take a screenshot with my username cropped out. You can reblog this but please don't go on about how awful your experiences have been. I get it, but also if you spiral two much you might end up accidentally saying something bad. This post has led to a lot of hate anons and harassment, so I would rather not have too much attention. Thanks...
I am pro Palestine and want to do everything I can to help but I'm not financially or mentally well enough to do much. I'm not in support of these people dying. Also, this post isn't just about Palestine. It's about ALL asks for donations. I'm not doing favouritism or racism. I just can't deal with it. Don't harass me for expressing boundaries. This post applies to people of all nationalities and backgrounds. Every situation- war, poverty, injury, anything. I'm not discriminating. I'm not being a zionist or a racist or an ableist. It's a boundary.
Yes, this post might seem controversial. But I did literally make this for my own personal experience and didn't expect it to get more than 12 notes or so. Don't add opposing views because quite frankly, it's none of your business. It's not my problem and I didn't mean for this post to get so many notes. Don't use the number of notes as an excuse to fight me. I just want a peaceful Tumblr experience. Also, if you are reblogging this, don't trauma dump. I keep notifications on for this post so that I can block people harassing me before shit escalates, so I can see every reblog. You can screenshot and repost if you want to talk about your problems, but honestly its no better seeing people saying "I'm bankrupt and I just got kicked out by my family. I also have a history of abuse and those images are so triggering that I want to die". That doesn't help me. Make your own post to say that. Please.
I am taking this post off private after slightly modifying it. Any conflicting arguments based on this post will result in my blocking and reporting of you. If you do not understand my point of view, make sure you fully read the post before saying this. I made this post for my blog. If you have any questions or don't understand this post, send me an ask that is composed, calm and polite, and I can talk it through with you.
Please note that by sharing this post, you are more likely to be targeted by bots and scams. You are also more likely to be harassed. Please be safe.
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god saw that stupid 'calming banana' post again
too many people too comfortable with airing their witty slam dunks against, checks notes, young children in special needs classes
#graaaahhhhh#i don't know the situation and i'm not about to dig and not going to posit any thoughts on the state of Society or Education or whatever#or even the facts of the situation at all#but people saying that EVEN IF the kid was very young and had some kind of neurodevelopmental condition#'they shouldn't be in school' and etc#glad we're being open in our disdain at even the idea of disabled children existing in public places i guess#so i guess just a Statement on some people's willingness to default to cruelty with or without relevant information#but i guess cruelty is easier to make into a sharp joke or whatever
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Well the problem might be that you're reading fucking Ulysses.

my adhd problems 💔
#Real talk I speed-read Ulysses for a paper in grad school.#Terrible decision#my paper was so bad (like made outright untrue statements about the book bad)#I think the prof only gave me an B out of pity because it was covid and also it was Ulysses#Anyway the book is written to be kiiiind of unintelligible?#Like it uses totally different writing styles at different moments in order to get its point(s) across#And punctuation doesn't happen in all of them.#(I think one chapter is written like an old question-answer catechism if I remember right?)#It's a good book (from what I remember of it anyway)#But it is EXTREMELY confusing#The main point IIRC is like the inability to create a 100% unified cultural identity for oneself (let alone for an entire nation)#Due to the passage of time and the fact that no one's a complete stereotype of their own culture etc. etc.#And the book intentionally sort of breaks the reading process in order to get across that fractured identity.
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If you’re someone who needs reassurance from loved ones that they love you, that’s really valid. But the way you ask for it matters. Hinting at it with comments like “nobody loves me” can actually be hurtful to your loved ones. It’s also a good idea to try and reassure yourself first!
The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both sides because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."
My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling is to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Here is my post on self-soothing ideas! And if that doesn’t work, then ask for it in a healthy way.
Some other examples.
Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.
Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.
If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy. Here’s my post on checking the facts!
Here’s a post on Challenging Irrational Thoughts!
ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.
TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.
If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.
If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".
It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.
For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.
You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.
This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.
If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."
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#not me in my imagination thinking the snty video shows signs of hasty editing#after nj's recent music rec post after the decision came down regarding relations while serving in the military#the delulu in me just wants somebody to edit him looking her in the eye and then walking right past her#to meet another 'figure' standing silhouetted in that golden light everywhere#like i'm sorry - we're not supposed to take the lyrics seriously when we have ... no pronouns just 'you'#we have dna. we have the sun and moon. we have the fallen angel symbology.#(can i say the man references afterglow a lot when really it's just been two times but if i had a nickel etc etc)#i just have this feeling like the mv might have been making a kind if statement if certain things turned out differently#but they didn't and so to use a sports metaphor the runner taking a lead off returned back to base#that doesn't negate the fact that there's this feeling that this guy is just itching to sprint like hell for home plate you know?#i do really want the story of the mv bc it does not make sense the way it's edited but people spotted luhrman romeo & juliet references#so yeah starcrossed but fated live thrown in there#as many have said ... who is the big mj stan and then all the literal tips of the hat to mj here#and the other choreo callbacks and other matching moves?#like he does this and then says don't read anything into the lyrics ...#personally i think he's remembering how all the people looked at alone and face off and started commenting#'break-up?' 'break-up?' like the seagulls in finding nemo even though jm ssid what the songs were about#there are sad songs about heartbreak on the album and i think his statement was more pointed at those#like i get that he chose the songs thinking hey these sentiments are pretty universal people can sing along to these#just as he says but - this one. this one just feels like there's more to unpack#but that's me living in my imagination where there's more to the mv than is on my screen rn
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